Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 397: Hey Man, Whatever

Episode Date: January 22, 2018

Stories from the week • ---------------------------------- Britt Hermes is a former naturopath who now campaigns against naturopathic practices. She's recently been taken to court in Germany by US-based naturopath ‘Dr’ Colleen Huber in a defamation lawsuit. Australian Skeptics Inc is managing a fundraising campaign to assist Britt in her current legal action. Please consider contributing to the --------------------     Secular Therapists/Therapy Please use and share these links with anyone seeking professional help within a secular framework.   For those that appreciate visual wordplay on an auditory medium, here is the reference  

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 396. Seven. Seven is what I meant to say,

but I didn't, of cognitive dissonance. And we are now, we are, we're employers again, man. We are. We are job creators.

And you know, it's, it's, I'm excited about the corporate tax cuts that we're going to be receiving. And we will not be passing those down to our employees. No, we'll be putting those in our fucking fat cat pockets. Exactly. Like you do. I'm going to put that

in the wings pile. Well, we are now the proud owners. Oh, we own them, right? No. No. Tom. You can't own people? No, Tom. Edit. He sounded... Wait.

We're renting? You don't build equity renting? Don't build equity renting, but millennials like to be rented. We are now the proud... Employers. Landlords? Employers.

I don't know. Oh, fine. Employers. Have it your way. Employers. Of one Ian, the production assistant, podcast coordinator. Employers. Have it your way. Employers. Of one Ian, the production assistant, podcast coordinator. Podcast coordinator.

Guy that works for us. The guy that helps out. Business card. Ian, you should order business cards and give yourself a title. If you're listening, he can be AVP. You know, Ian, be a secular thinky guy. That would be a great business card. But Ian joined their ranks last week we had amazing people that

signed up for this we had this pile that we had to whittle down into sort of let's talk to this small group of people because we only have a limited amount of time to interview but the people we interviewed with even just the people the resumes we

got were amazing. Right. And they were hard to whittle down. So we had some great people who sent us stuff. We interviewed with several people. Everybody we interviewed with was, I would have been happy hiring any one of them. They were that good.

Absolutely. So it was a really great process. And it was one of those moments that like, you know, really happy that people who listen are so talented. So it was great. I'm not sure why talented people aren't listening, but we're grateful to have you. Absolutely.

And really, I mean, jokes aside, for everybody that did submit a resume, both in this hiring process and our first hiring process, thank you for being listeners to the show. Thanks for caring enough to take the time to send a resume, to want to work for us, and to want to work with us. If we could hire all of you guys, we would, but this would be a very different show. And I don't know what we'd do with all of you. If we're going to put on a show somewhere, though,

we might hire you as extras just to sit in the audience. And boot it all up. We'll keep you in mind. Now we look more popular. However, I have an exception. I think you can't attend a wedding if you hold up a sign

that reads Leviticus 2013. I think that would be appropriate. I think that would be appropriate. Yeah, that you can attend a wedding if you hold up a sign that reads Leviticus 2013. I think that would be appropriate. I think that would be appropriate. Yeah, that you could attend a wedding and hold up the sign Leviticus 2013. And word for word, a man sleeps with a man as he sleeps with a woman. The two of them have committed abomination. They shall both be put to death.

I mean, you could attend a wedding and hold up that sign. So you get an invitation to a homosexual wedding. And I guess, Dave, it comes down to if you bake a cake for a homosexual wedding, you could put Leviticus 2013 on the cake. So to talk about this story from Yahoo, a gay couple sues printing company over homophobic wedding pamphlets. And I got to say, like, we live in a fucking litigious age when you get sued over every little homophobic wedding pamphlet. Shitty, awful, garbage wedding pamphlet that somebody sends you. And you know, it didn't even say anything that bad.

Tom, I want to read what it said. It said, they're in this, so they were going to get a wedding program for their wedding. And instead what they got was this sort of bigoted,

shitty pamphlet that talked about a box full of them. There's none of the things that they ordered. Right. And this- It's not like they got their order plus these things. It's not like inside their order,

tucked neatly inside, was this bigoted pamphlet. No, they just got the bigoted pamphlet. You can't, and it's all color, so you can't even write on it and be like, we are getting married today or something. It's not even paper you can use,

but it says in there, Satan entices your flesh with evil desires. I got to say that Satan gives the nicest wedding gifts. You know what I mean? Like it is the nicest. He also says, Satan knows our flesh is weak. He prays upon our weakness to tempt us to sin.

Satan can only influence us to want to sin. He cannot make us sin. At a certain point, you just want to be like, hey, can somebody take the mic away from Satan at this wedding? You know what I mean? Like,

he's like your drunk uncle. Like, he's like, I remember when I used to sing to you. He's the shitty DJ who won't stop playing. He's like, chicken dance. Right?

To the left. To the left. To the left. No, how about if you just kill yourself instead? I hate that song so much. We do the electric slide all night. Oh my God, I hate it so much. Just one after the other. That is, you know, it's nice.

It actually makes sense because that is my version of hell. It's to just have to do the electric slide. What I hate about it is like how every single wedding you go to, they play that electric slide and the dance floor is full of people. And I'm like, this is the worst sounding music I've ever heard in my life. It's an absolutely terrible excuse for a song. I'd rather listen to somebody play something on the ukulele. It's also not fun at all.

No. Like dancing to that is not fun. It's a horrible, horrible song. And it's like the song is telling you what to do. It's not like you're out there like, look what a good dancer I am following the fucking... It's like that game of... It's Simon Says. Yeah, but it's like Twister.

It's like the dancing version of Twister except you can't accidentally slip your dick in somebody, right? Everybody lubes up for Twister. What are you going to do? That's why that thing is made of vinyl. It's easy clean. It would be made of vinyl. It's easy. Clean. When we made a vial, if it wasn't for slipping on, I mean, come on.

Weird. I don't know how you play Twister. I evacuated my balls on that thing every time. Are you kidding me? I love this too. Cause it's like, oh, my knees in Brown. I love these pamphlets. Cause they're like the pamphlets are obviously written by somebody who totally wants to fuck a dude.

Right. Because it's like, you know, it's written. Satan entices your flesh. Look, my flesh is not enticed by dudes because I just like you're straight. I'm straight. OK, so it's like, yeah, like, no, like I'm it's not it's not how this works. Like, no, like, it's not how this works. What is so funny is, like, this fucking homophobic shit is so obviously laden with all this, like, latent homosexual desire.

It's like you can only give in to the temptation. Like, I'm not tempted. Yeah. Straight people aren't tempted, man. They're just like, okay, cool. There's gay people. I'm going to be over here not being gay. Yeah, right.

I mean, like, sexuality is more than likely like a continuum, right? So some people fall hard one side, hard the other, all in the middle. Sure, yeah. So fine, all that is true. But it's like they're sending out these pamphlets as if to suggest that, like, now you're straight. Yeah. Here's everybody's heterosexual. Yeah. It's just that you, like me, sometimes want to suck it up.

You, like me, want to get jizz in your face. Come on, let's be honest. It's so fucking funny. You want to right back be like, I think you're gay, dude. You want to come to the wedding? We need a flower girl. Wouldn't that be great?

That would be such a great retaliation. Instead of all the mean-spirited stuff right back, just be like, this guy should be invited to every gay wedding forever. That should be the response. You get invited to every gay wedding. Your mailbox, your fucking inbox, is stuffed as full as gay fucking ass.

It's just crammed with fucking gay invitations. When your post-all worker comes by, he just shoots the astroglide in there and shoves as many fucking invites as he can

in your fucking mailbox. What I want to say though is like, these people got these things the night before they're going to get married, right? So it's not like,

at least that's what it sounded like from the article. And I, I remember something like that where they're just like, it was not, it was a very quick turnaround of something they had to get. They had to go out of their way to find it somewhere else. It's a shitty inconvenience to do to somebody, right? It's a shitty, awful inconvenience. It's, in my opinion, harassment to send this to somebody like that.

It's absolutely harassment. But we were talking a while back, Tom, you know, you're in the mortgage industry and you had a comment about like, you know, it's not just cakes. Like what if somebody refused to give somebody a loan because they're gay? Or what if somebody refused to close their loan?

Right. Because they're gay. What if you showed up at the closing table to close this loan? You open it up and it's all these gay pamphlets, not closing documents. Right. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, like that's not like, like there's nothing that says that a business owner can't own a, I'm going to use this term. You guys know what a non-frivolous

business, right? And so what I mean is like a, a, a much more serious business, like cakes and, and pies and ice creams and pamphlets and things are, I don't know. You know what I mean by friends? No, it's a very important day. But at the same time, nobody's... No one's going to lose... No one's entire fortune can be lost on this debt. Exactly, right? Yeah, your financial health does not revolve around this.

Your physical and emotional and mental health does not revolve around this. But there are people in private practice or own small companies that could absolutely do the same shit, like you said. They could do the same shit and they could ruin you financially. They could ruin you. How many times have you been in a position where it's like, man, I'm excited for this to happen because this is a big deal in my life. Buying and selling a home.

But also, can you imagine if a medical practitioner decided at the last minute, like, yeah, I'm just not going to do that. I'm not going to perform that procedure. I just don't want to take care of you. I don't want to take care of you because I don't like your lifestyle. Right. I mean, so we focus on it when it comes to these sort of frivolous events. And you guys know what I mean by that.

But they could be non-frivolous. They could be life-changing, life-alteringly negative negative consequences and that's why you should care yeah right that's because this is like you said this is an inconvenience right like cake is rarely an emergency harassing inconvenience right yeah right but it's an inconvenience right but it can be worse i think about when i sold my home and the buyer of my home, I had like a lot of things that I had to line up in a row to make sure that the buyer

was happy with the home. Right. And if any of those things fell through, the buyer was going to walk away. Yeah. Because there's other houses out there. There's other things to do. And then I've got to go through

the whole process of finding another buyer. And then what if I have a house on contingency? There's all this shit that can go wrong. Oh, yeah. Just because one person fucks that chain up and happens all the time. There's so many situations. I just know my own business. There's so many situations where, you know, a transaction comes down to the final moments.

And if things don't happen in that final moment, you could have two or three deals that all rely on each other. They have a domino effect. I got to sell my house to get funds to buy your house. When I do that, you release funds to buy your house. You can have two or three or four deals that all rely on each other. Oh, Jesus. That's like dominoes. It is dominoes. That's not unusual at all. So if something goes wrong with one of them, it fucks up all those other deals that are all reliant upon one another. But you could be in a position where if that deal doesn't close today, you lose the house. You could be moments

from foreclosure. You could have a tax deed that's pending on your property. I mean, you could lose it. It's not just like, oh, fuck, I got to find a new buyer. Yeah. It could be worse. It could be way worse. Yeah. I lost my opportunity to sell that home. Yeah. I'm here to be trained. I'm here for an education. I'm willing, God. I'll do what you want me to do. I'll say what you want me to say. In Jesus name. Amen. This story is everywhere. It's also from Yahoo is where we're talking about it from, but it's just fucking everywhere, and it's pretty awful.

Grandparents of shackled children say God called on parents to have so many kids. Did they live in a shoe? They'd have been better off living in a shoe. They could have just laced them up, though. You don't have to actually have shackles. They could have just used

the laces. Just tie them at the top? Yeah. Especially get those pole climbers. They were actually in those kangaroo shoes where it's just like a zipper over the top of them

and they're just like belted in. No, they were actually in the Crocs and everybody made fun of them. Okay, hold on. This was horrific abuse, but it's not Crocs level bad. It's not Crocs level bad.

That's true. Have you ever owned a pair of Crocs? No. I used to own a pair. Did you? I did. They were my lawn mowing shoes, which is great because there is nothing like more suburban dad. Lawn mowing Crocs.

Wearing a pair of shorts and your fucking Crocs and a t-shirt. But I had a dog, and so I go out and mow the lawn and then just hose my shoes down because I got a fucking dog. You got plastic shoes. It's okay. It's amazing. Yeah, like non-stick for poop. Now I just wear two frying pans. I just wear Teflon shoes. The thing is like if I tied Teflon

frying pans to my feet, it would be more attractive than a pair of Crocs. It's very true. That would be... Girls will walk up of Crocs. That's very true. Girls will walk up to you and be like, what's cooking, baby? So this story is just insane. This is a couple that had

12 children. The oldest of these kids is 29 years old. When police raided it, they thought the kid was 10. They thought this 29 year old human being was 10 years old. They were so malnourished. They said that the neglect and the abuse was so bad that there was cognitive impairment. These kids didn't know what things like, they didn't know the word medication. They didn't know what that was. Some of the kids didn't know what a police officer was because they were so

isolated from the rest of the world yeah yeah yeah so homeschooled right yeah well that's the thing is that they talk in this article about the fact that these kids were home why would you even bother homeschooling yeah well people you're not letting out of the house you know what that what that saying is is that the government let them abuse them without checking up on them. That's really what they're saying. Yeah. And you know, I think you make a good point and we've talked about this before, but like, you know, one of the great advantages to the schooling system is that now there are people, there are systems in place to look at your kids and make sure that they exist. Sure. Right. They don't drop off the map and just stop being anymore. Yeah. There's people

in place to like, like talk to your kid if your kid appears to be malnourished or abused or like whatever. So all of that is like, all of that is a good thing, right? It doesn't catch everybody, but it catches some. Sure. It might've caught one of these 12. One of them. There's a dozen of them. Could you imagine if these kids are coming to school and they look like the walking dead, you're going to be like, okay, well, something's wrong there. If they don't know what fucking certain things are. Yeah, basic things like what is a police officer or a medication? Yeah.

The abuse here was just insane. Oh, yeah, 29 years of being chained inside of a house? That's commitment to abuse. That really is. That really is. You know, the thing that struck me is like, I want to get rid of my kids when they turn 18.

What the fuck am I going to keep them for another 11 years? Well, I'll tell you why they're keeping them. At one point, they were saying the kids were installing sod at 9pm. And I think the reason why you keep them is that they're like a live-in greenskeeper. A dozen of them?

Your yard must be like a hedge maze. But then I started thinking about it. I'm like, yeah, but wouldn't it just be easier to hire like a landscaper? Like just not have the kids. But the thing is, the thing is, is that. There's elaborate topiary in the front yard. I know, right? Fucking Jack Nicholson is dead in the frost in the winter.

One of the kids got scissors on his hands. He's making fucking bunnies and shit. It's just, that's what it sounds like. It sounds like they're like a whole crew, Edward scissor. Right. But,

but at one point I want to, I do want to read one thing. Cause it says, because the agency doesn't want the siblings to be taxed for money they'll receive. They are setting up a fund to go through the Riverside County Regional Medical Center Foundation. All GoFundMe campaigns for these kids that benefit the siblings are fake. Really?

Yeah. So people who are, if you're listening to this and you're like, oh man, this sounds horrible. I'd love to donate to these kids. Make sure you find the right one. Don't do the GoFundMes because clearly they're setting something up through the county medical center so find that one if you're if you're thinking dude people are fucking awful isn't that shit we're fucking awful these are fucking tortured human these are tortured children you're gonna profit i bet i can make a buck on that i can get a bucket of kfc for your suffering you know it'll be nice let's compound your misery with additional

misery god it's so bad There's a quote from this article that killed me, though. It was one of their neighbors said, last Christmas, they had their nativity scene and it stayed up for months and months to the point where I even wanted to knock on the door and say, listen, do you need help? Past Easter it was up. And I loved it.

These kids went through all this horrible shit and the people next door are still finding a way to dig on them. These motherfuckers never trimmed their wrenches. Their fucking lawn was dirty. They never weed whacked. They leave their garbage cans out after 6 p.m. These motherfuckers calling the cops. Everybody knows recycling

is supposed to be taken on Thursday. They don't even put a sticker on large items. This is bullshit. This is bullshit. What are they? Waste management is just going to throw away your stuff like you're special. Oh, God, that's so funny. The real crime, though, and I do want to point this out, the real crime

is that guy's haircut. That guy's haircut. If there is any crime involved here, that guy's haircut is the worst atrocity. I know that there was some really bad shit that happened. I recognize that.

Somebody sheared that guy with a sheep shear. That's what happened. That guy went to work looking like that. That guy, because like this guy had a job. He had a good paying job. Like he was a successful guy. You have to be successful to neglect 12 kids. That's expensive. That's expensive. A lot of, think about the grocery bill you don't have. Exactly. Think about the medical

bill you don't have. Think about the grocery bill you don't have. Exactly. Think about the medical bill you don't have. Think about all the bills you don't have. You know, one of the things. Think about the crime sentence you will have. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. They're going away forever. Oh, yeah.

They're going away forever. I was getting alerts on my phone about this. And they're talking about how they went to, you know, they're going to go to trial. And they pled not guilty. But it's like their bail was set for some outrageous sum, like 12 million dollars, some outrageous sum. But,

um, the one thing I, I find interesting about all of these cases that, you know, turn out like this, you know, you find the passage that said fucking fuck like bunnies. And you,

you sort of grabbed onto that one, but you didn't fucking even pay attention to the, like, be nice to people part. You know what I mean? Like, like that's the part that most people say the Bible is about, even though it's not really about that.

But there, there are a few passages in there that say, be nice to people that people seem to amplify to the rest of the public. And those are the ones you seem to forget for your own family. Yeah. I don't, I can't even like, be like,

nah, you don't have to eat. Whatever. I made you. I, you know, like there's a part of me that like, I don't say I can understand it, but like, I just like, I know that there are some people out there that are just broken, shitty, psychopathic, mean spirited, cruel people. Right. But how are there two?

Yeah. How are there? How and how do they like? Yeah. How do they justify that to each other together? You know what I mean? Like a serial killer Tinder out two? Yeah. How are there? How and how do they like? Yeah. How do they justify that to each other together? You know what I mean? Like a serial killer Tinder out there. Yeah.

That's like weird. Yeah. Yeah. What would serial killer Tinder be called? Tweet that at us. Figure out a name. Figure out a name for serial killer Tinder and tweet it at us. I like it.

We Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts. This story. I had to stop reading this story today. This is one of those few stories that I started reading and I got a little anxiety about, and I just quit. I stopped reading it.

I was like, I can't finish this story. Yeah, this is a pretty awful story, too. She couldn't finish the crucifix either that she was eating. Her eyes were bigger than her throat. Okay, hold on that's so bad that's so bad this is

the same is true with BBC porn some of those women have a trick throat very wide open eyes this story is from Washington Post this is the title. She forced a crucifix down her possessed daughter's throat. Now she's convicted of murder.

So that's not, the story is not dissimilar from the title. No, it really isn't. I mean, except for the part where they didn't mention where she beat her daughter to death. Yeah, I know, right?

And then laid her body out. One of the saddest things about this story is the former boyfriend, this is how the woman gets found, is that this guy goes to mom's house to win his ex-girlfriend back. And he

shows up to win his girl back. And the mom crazily lets him in. Yeah, and just shows him the dead body. That's beaten beyond recognition. But laid out like a crucifix though. She laid her in. Yeah, and just shows him the dead body. That's beaten like beyond recognition. But laid out like a crucifix though. She laid her out. And then put a crucifix on her.

Yeah, and she had crammed a crucifix down her throat to where her throat was bleeding. You know, if you're going to suck cocks in hell, that makes it much harder. Because it just gets in the way. I was thinking more along the lines of like, if there was like one of those ads on TV, like, stop taking crucifix

if you're currently being beaten to death or dying. What I don't understand about it is what her thought process was is there's a demon in there. Gotta stop this crucifix down there to stop the demon. This person is clearly an insane person.

They are. Because they let the boyfriend in and the boyfriend's like, the fuck? And then she attacks the boyfriend, puts him in a headlock and shit. She's just crazy. She's just nuts. But I have to think truthfully that crazy people

be crazy. Mental illness is terrible. There's nothing you can do about it. What are you going to do? Right. But, you know, I do think that when mental illness sort of collides with these possession myths and these, you know, because those are, those are stories and hyper religiosity is a feature of some psychotic breaks and some, some mental illness episodes. And when, when you have these myths about possession and about demons and these

myths about good and evil and the battles that are waged between them for us, all of that's nonsense. None of that's true. Would mentally ill people make this up out of thin air and engage in these acts? I did. That's that. I think we've asked this question before. Like if religion wasn't there as sort of the worldview view right uh the way and with the lens in which you see the world would these people do this sort of thing right and um and this is i mean it's such a horrible story when you when you hear it and you and you hear what happened to this i mean this poor woman suffered or your own mother is beating you to death your own mother is pummeling you it'd be weird for her to stop drinking long enough to do that. Your mother's dead.

She just didn't tell you. Come on. But she didn't tell me. She didn't tell you. I'm dead. Why your voice got deep. I'd like you to tell my son I'm dead. No,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, oh man, but it's, but it's, you, you, you hear this story and you can't help but think what if they didn't have this thing to, that was sort of a giant feature in their life, this religion that was a giant feature in their life. What if it was something else?

What if it was Jainism, right? Like, do you ever hear about, and maybe you do, but I've never heard a story about somebody who had a psychotic break and was a practitioner of Jainism and then committed a violent act, right? In the, using a nonviolent religion as a, as a, as a, as a source for that violence. Right. And I look at something like this and I think like, was this person, I don't know the answer, but it's just worth asking. was this person, I don't know the answer, but it's just worth asking. Was this person prone in some way to violence as a result of the mental illness? Or was the violence that they committed the natural progression, the natural thing to do because they really thought this set of nonsensical beliefs now were true?

It's like, if I really believed in demons, if I genuinely believe that somebody were possessed by an evil spirit, I would be scared and I would want to get that out. And that would drive me to different ways of thinking that might lead me to put violence. Might hurt them or something, yeah. So like, if the problem is that I can't differentiate reality from fiction,

if the fiction that I'm being fed is this good evil narrative with supernatural forces vying for our immortal souls. That's really dangerous. But if the fiction is like, you know, not that, then how much is it dangerous? If it's not a thing that threatens you.

Right. Is it dangerous to other people? I don't know. And I wonder too, like, clearly people have psychotic breaks in, you know know countries that are more atheists than not right you know you can't i don't think that there's a good way to to measure this against um muslim countries because muslims believe a lot of the same sort of you know devils and things sort of thing right so that's hard to do but there's got to be a way yeah that's

what i'm thinking like something like that like Something like that. When those people have psychotic breaks, are they doing violent shit because psychotic breaks cause you to be violent or are they doing or would they do a violent shit? Are they just not doing violent shit? Ready to stick it in the glory hole? Get links to their Facebook, Twitter

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Give the guys a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher. Or tell your buddies in the drunk tank about the show. We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. God damn, this blew me away. This is a scary story. This might even be scarier than the previous story.

It is scarier than the previous story because it affects more of us. This is also from the Washington Post. And this dovetails with what we've talked about this very issue. It's just terrifying that our suspicions were backed up by a study. Yeah. Study is 42% of Republicans believe that accurate but negative stories qualify as fake news.

That's exactly. We talked about this. So we talked about this. And the scary thing is like, if you can label something you don't like as fake, if that word fake loses its meaning, if that word fake. Because fake what fake means is not true. Right. Not true. Not accurate. Yeah. Made up. Yeah. Right. If fake all of a sudden becomes synonymous with I just don't like it. And that's how I decide what's true. And that's how I decide what to believe.

I decide what to believe based on the things I like or I don't like. We're just fucked. Yeah, changing the meaning of that word means something. Right, and that terminology is the term that's being used to dismiss these things. And the problem is that they're treating that term as if it is as dismissive when they're using it incorrectly. Right. Right? Right.

Right. They use the term fake news to dismiss stories they don't like. Yeah. As if those stories were not true. Weren't true. So conflating those two things is insanely dangerous. It's just insanely dangerous. It erodes.

Yeah. It erodes the very nature of truth. It really does. Like, I don't want to be too hyperbolic, but it does necessarily erode the nature of truth itself. I, you know, I wonder if fake is becoming shorthand

for shit I don't want to believe. You know what I mean? Like where it's not, it's not that it's true or false. It's just, I don't want to believe it. Yeah, I guess. But like, you know,

what's funny when you say that my first thought is like, well, there are things that I think are true that I don't want to believe, but I still think they're true. and i find them distressing right i find yeah right i find those things that i don't want to be true but which are just to be true yes exactly exactly this is actually a great example i don't want to believe this yeah but i nonetheless

think that it is true sure right it's and that's there's no cognitive dissonance there right those things are not mutually exclusive of one another i i can reconcile them. I just I'm just distressed by the fact. Sure. It's just like, man, if we're in a place where we where we just say, well, if I don't like it, it's not true. Yeah, we're we're just fucked. We just we just quit the whole fucking endeavor. We just quit the whole fucking endeavor. We're just fucked. The president, even though he didn't coin this phrase, grabbed onto this phrase very early,

even before he took office. Yeah. And his use of this term has given it legitimacy that it should not have. Yeah. It is, I think a lot of this falls squarely, not only on his shoulders,

but on the entire party's shoulders because many of these people have said the same thing. Even we saw his ambassador that was appointed many of these people have said the same thing. Even we saw his ambassador that was appointed. That was insane. Said the same thing. We've seen many of these people that are Republican senators and congressmen have said the same thing.

People on his staff have said the same thing. This is not a, it's not an isolated case of one person using this word. There's this terminology, there's terminology spread throughout the entire, it's basically terminology. There's terminology spread throughout the entire, it's basically infected the entire controlling party of this country. It's become a strategy. Fake news has become not a label, but a strategy. And it's so funny because when the whole idea, when this fake news sort of phenomenon began to pop up, at least for, at least as

far as I became aware of it, it was, it was really like, oh man, like there's all these right-leaning stories that are popping up on social media sites that aren't true. They're fake. And then there was this like, holy shit, like the, the, the narrative of policy is being shaped in the public opinion by stories that are being written by bots and it's not real journalism and all of that. And that should have been a scandal. That should have been a scandal where everybody

fucking, honestly, where everybody kind of panicked a little bit and said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That is literally terrible. And it's going to fuck us all over. And instead, this thing that was and is really egregiously awful and it erodes our democracy in ways that I can't even express too deeply. It became a strategy for the right.

Yeah. Yeah. It removes the entirety of the press as a part of our democracy. I'm Raymond Massey, and I have a special message for senior citizens. Today's doctors, drugs, and medical devices truly work medical miracles for young and old alike, but there are some as phony as a $3 bill. Investigate before you invest in health services or products. Help stamp out quackery. or products. Help stamp out quackery.

This story comes from Bad Science Debunked blog. If it quacks like a duck, and I'm going to try to pronounce this, oscillisonium? Oscillococcinium? Oscillococcinium? Coccinium? Oh, oscillicoccinium.

Oscillicoccinium. This is them. Oh, a silly cock in them. A silly cock in them. Got it. A silly cock in them. Yeah. This is crazy. So this is a story about a product you can, I don't know what to call it, a product you can buy at CVS. You can actually buy this thing at CVS. Yeah. And it's a silly cock in them.

And it's a homeopathic remedy. And it's even crazier than the typical homeopathic remedy. So I know you guys probably already know this, but homeopathic remedies are basically just like water dilutions. They take a thing and they dilute it and then they dilute it again and they keep doing that

until they've diluted something hundreds or thousands of times against the original. And they have a great analogy in the article. It's like if the duck... Yeah, it says a dilution so high that even if you started with a duck with a a chunk of duck the size of the sun not one molecule would remain so so this is this is a wonderful story because this is still something that's available it's like it's got no ingredients in it yeah no there's nothing in it nothing in it. It's sugar. Yeah. It's just,

it might not even have sugar in it. Yeah. It could just have Well, they said it was sugar pills. They said it was sugar pills. That's what they call it. But I feel like they just always say sugar pill as like a stand-in for placebo.

I see, okay. I wonder if it even has anything in it but just like a gelatin capsule and like Nothing. Nothing inside. Why bother even

putting anything inside? Why? Seriously, why don't you just sell you a box and when you open it up it's like you're there's like a little note that says you're healed now yeah the worst part about this is this is this is at cvs and it's sitting on shelves next to shit that you would normally buy for the flu right that people don't know that it's not a homeopathic because it doesn't say homeopathic on it. It doesn't tell you that it's not

garbage. It doesn't say only for stupid people. It doesn't have that on the package. It just says yeah, man, here's something with a big long ass name. Stupid people. You just go and it's like, are you looking at the signs at CVS? It's like

baby formula, cough and cold remedies for stupid people. That's for me! Everything is like... They're all 9-volt batteries. You're just licking them. I love this one. But, you know,

it's got a name on it that is really long and sounds like a penicillin-type name. So you're just like, well, that might be a thing. So I got to tell the story of this product. I think it's fucking riot, right? It does look like penicillin, right? But like,

it's called this because it's named after an imaginary bacteria. It's an imaginary bacteria that is imaginatively found in ducks, right? So like, none of this is... It's not real, but it's not really found in ducks, right? So like none of this is... And then... It's not real.

And it's not really found in ducks. Right. So they're like, yeah, the thinking behind it is like, well, you know, ducks plus the flu equals magic bacteria that we then diluted to where there's not even any of the magic bacteria in it.

It's a weird equation. Right? What's the symbol for duck in an equation? It's the open sign, isn't it? It's like the quack. It's a weird equation. Right? What's the symbol for duck in an equation? It's the open sign, isn't it? It is. It's the quack. It's the quack sign.

It's the, it's the, would the duck eat this over this? That's the greater than sign. Well, you know what happens when you use one of those in a,

in an experiment, right? You get a Mallard reaction. Oh, Maillard. Come on. It was funny. It's not pronounced Mallard, though. On paper,

that joke works. On paper? Nobody's, nobody's reading this. On paper, that joke works. Nobody's reading this. Everybody go read the word. I like that joke. Anyway, you were saying Mayard. Whatever, man. It's a tomato, tomato moment.

Mayard, Mallard. Mallard. I feel like it's Mallard. Mallard reaction. So when you brown a duck breast perfectly, it's the Mallard reaction. The Mallard reaction is actually when you get like a tight piece of corkscrew pasta

because that's the Mallard reaction. Yeah, that is true. That is true. Yeah, they do screw it in there, don't you? Yeah, that corks your dick. Yeah. So the bizarre thinking behind this is like you know there's obviously the relationship with birds and the flu and whatever and so they take a duck and they imagine that the duck i can't

get past the duck i know it right and the duck has this imaginary bacteria in it which does not exist it is not real yeah they made it up. Sure. But then they diluted it. That's my favorite part. Where do you get it though? So imagine. Do you like squeeze a duck to get the fake bacteria? Can I ask you a question?

How much does half a unicorn weigh? As much as it would take for it to dance on the head of a pig. It's so crazy. This thing is so crazy. And you can go and buy it at the fucking drugstore. You can buy it at CVS, for Christ's sakes. You can buy it on Amazon.

Somebody went on their Facebook, a bunch of people went on their Facebook to be like, this is magic. You're selling magic. Well, to be fair, they're selling diluted magic. They're not even selling full potency magic. Imaginary diluted magic. And they basically delete the comments.

Hey man, that shit sells for a lot of box and the overhead's real low. Yeah, this is the greatest. This is seriously the greatest business plan ever. I know. I would like to sell you this rock. What does it do? It keeps tigers away.

How does it work? It doesn't. I would like to buy you a rock. It keeps imaginary tigers away. Least racist person that you have ever met. I am the least racist person. This is a guy to be a fly on the fucking wall. This is from W USA nine dot com.

So during a service attended by Vice President Mike Pence at a historically black church, the Metropolitan Baptist Church. The Metropolitan Baptist Church is formed seven minutes after the emancipation. And it kind of was. It's like the week after, is what they said. So it's a historically black church. The pastor got up and basically called Trump's comments a shithole comment. He said, he got up and he said, I want to read what he said.

I stand today as your pastor to vehemently denounce and reject any such characterization of the nations of Africa and of our brothers and sisters in Haiti. And I guess throughout the whole sermon, he is, you know, going on about this. And Pence is sitting there. Yeah. Pence is sitting there. And according to this, like Pence is sitting there. Pence is sitting there. And according to this, Pence is sitting there turning red. Yeah, but he afterwards, Pence had said that he didn't turn red. He called it

fake Hughes. Alright, cancel the show. That was great. He seriously said that though. He seriously said I didn't turn red. He was like, no, it didn't happen. Everybody around him was like, motherfucker, you look like a beat.

Right? It's like, we can see it. Look, we're black. We know color. We know what it looks like when somebody's embarrassed. It's so funny.

Cause he, he totally, he totally fucking denied it. He was like, no, no, I'm fine. But these guys got up on the stage.

This guy got up on the stage and basically said, look, you know, if you're going to be here, I, you know, I'm, you know, I think he even apologizes to him at one point. He's like, look, I'm sorry. You know, you're going to have to hear this. He's like, I'm not going to say these words, but you know, the president was dehumanizing. He was dehumanizing to a large swath of people, people we identify with, people that we identify with. and you're saying that those people are worth less. And that's an insult to everybody sitting in this church. I love that with Pence in the audience. That was the moment. That was the opportunity, right? I love when people are like, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you. Who the fuck are you?

You graced us with your presence. You know, what the fuck did he expect? Blowjobs in a fucking fondue fountain? Like, fuck you. Fuck you. That with your president, your presence. You know, what the fuck did he expect? Blow jobs in a fucking fondue fountain. Like, fuck you. Fuck you. That would get me back to church. I'm just saying, I'll tell you this,

like a Pence would come back to that. I'd be like, mother, I'm going back for fondue. He couldn't eat it unless his wife was with him. Mother, I'm going to get another blow job. No,

that I'll do without my wife. Jesus. That guy is such a fucking coward. Yeah. That guy's a fucking weirdo. Well, you know, and you're complicit.

Right. You're here. You're fucking, you're fucking Donald Trump's assistant. Everybody. You're assistant to the regional manager. Fuck you. Fuck you.

You own that shit. You eat that shit just as much as fucking Donald Trump eats it. Fuck off. Yep. Right there, man. Anybody who's a part of this administration is complicit

every day they wake up and go to work. You know, because you have choices. And the National Park Service Advisory Board, three-quarters of them quit. Just in mass. They just were just like, no, we're not doing this. We are not doing this shit. There was a couple other people that just like resigned.

They're just like, I just resigned. I'm just done. I don't want to do this anymore. That's an option. Let's be honest. It's an option particularly for a lot of the people who work at these very high levels of government. The National Park Service Advisory Board is probably pretty low level, all things considered.

It's not like Pence can't find another job. He's not in it because he's like, oh, I've got to pay my mortgage. What the fuck? Cut that shit out. He's not in it because like, oh, I got to pay my mortgage. What the fuck? You know, so like cut that shit out. He's not going to get a call from a banker in a week and be like, where's your car payment? Exactly. Right. Oh, you're turning off your electric.

And it's not like these guys, especially these really powerful guys, can't go out and become a lobbyist within a day. Right. Within a day. These are well-connected, educated people with resources and money. Yeah, tons of resources. Like, come the fuck on with that shit. It's nonsense. I was listening to a story recently.

There's a huge wave of Republicans that are retiring. There hasn't been this kind of turnover in this way, retiring people from the Congress. I don't know which house. I don't know which one it is. I think it spans both of them. But I think it's mostly in the Congress. I don't know which house. I don't know which one it is. I think it spans both of them, but I think it's mostly in the House. There hasn't been a big switch like this since it happened to Clinton in like the 90s.

Oh, wow. Because it happened with the Democrats. There's a huge swath of Democrats that just all at the same time just retired and a bunch of seats came up. And this was when Newt Gingrich, you know, when he stepped forward and took control of a bunch of stuff. So there hasn't been a swing like this since then.

And, um, it's interesting. A lot of people are saying like, like one of the reasons why they're saying that they're going to, uh, walk away. There's sort of two major reasons that are, that are, they're focusing on. I personally think that they probably are pretty embarrassed by Trump. That's what my, my suspicion is, is that many of these people that are Republicans are embarrassed by Trump and they just don't want to say it out loud because they don't want to be ostracized from their party. But I think that there's probably a lot of, there's probably at least some of that reason is in there. I think so. But the two main reasons that they're pointing to right now, they're saying that they're, that they came

to Washington, many of these people came to Washington to get the tax bill done, and now that the tax bill's done, they're like, I don't need to run anymore. It's probably like, yeah, we cut the corporate fucking tax from 35 to 21. I'm going to private sector now. And that's the second thing is, now that they just did this tax thing,

a lot of them may just go in and become lobbyists to try to negotiate more of this tax thing down the road. Because it's a wide open, basically they made themselves, yeah, they made themselves, they basically wrote on their resume, I'm the best person for this job because I'm one of the people who passed it. Oh my God. And that's what our government is though. I mean, you got to, I mean, they become congressmen and they go become a lobbyist and you know to think that there isn't a major corporate pool in our government you know you gotta it's it's it's matt we're right i mean the government is is run by and large by corporate interests yeah

any any pretense otherwise is delusion. This is so weird. This is so crazy. This is from Right Wing Watch. This is Sandy Rios. Her comments. Yeah. Oh, her comments.

Hey, man. Hey, before she starts, she's just asking the questions. She's just asking questions. She's just asking questions. She's just asking questions. So this is Sandy Rios. Liberals in Hawaii may have orchestrated

false missile alerts. Here we go. Here's Sandy. You know in Hawaii may have orchestrated false missile alerts. Here we go. Here's Sandy. You know, Hawaii is so far to the left. It's amazing. Yeah, it's even farther left coast than California. I mean, it depends on the map you're looking at. Sometimes it's next to Alaska, which is confusing.

You know, I never understood the climate down in that corner area. It's true. It's like an insert on all those old maps where there's just like, yeah, these aren't part of the continental United States, so we just stuff them off into the corner. We poured on Hawaii during the election cycle, and I have

to say, I was alarmed by the... You know Hawaii's laid back. That's what people like to go out there but the the saturation of marijuana use on the streets with people and they hey hey man whatever it's just it's an i love it no whatever come on man her impersonation of a of a Hawaiian is spot on. Spot on. Hey, man, whatever. You can't get off the plane over that without somebody saying,

Hey, man. You have these flowers on your neck. Whatever. Whatever, man. Hey, man. Is everybody shaggy? Is everybody like, Rock-a-roll-a-roll. Everybody's Gomer Pyle. Everybody's shaggy.

Hey, man, whatever. An amazing thing for an American state, for a state of the United States. Like, California legalized marijuana. Yeah. Like, Colorado. Colorado, Washington State. Yeah, there's actually,

it's decriminalized in Chicago. Right, there's a, so, just, I don't know. There's a, so just, I don't know. I know. But like, the thing is, is like the, the,

the reefer madness is going to get you. I don't, you're going to be, you're going to be so laid back. You won't care. The missiles coming. You're just like, well,

man, whatever, man. Hey man, whatever. Hang ten missile. And, um,

Hawaii is controlled by left-wing democrats and so uh one just has to ask the question is has somebody on this inside there trying to uh depress the response of the people of hawaii in case of some sort of an attack. Why? What the fuck? What? What? So, okay, play this out. You are in Hawaii. Yeah. You are the leader of Hawaii. You're king of Hawaii. When is it to your advantage to watch your people blow up?

And the thing that you were in charge of, hey, I'm in charge of this thing. It'd be better if it blew up. That way I could be in charge of Rubbleopolis again. Wouldn't it actually be more likely that somebody would be like, oh, at least we had that drill that wasn't intentionally a drill, but like it kind of was a drill now.

So like we're a little better. We're actually a little better prepared as a result of that. That's true. Because like if that happens and you're like, well, I didn't behave right. I'll give you a moment to reflect. Absolutely. Now you know how to get the manhole cover off to stuff your kid. Stuff your kid in the toddler manhole covers.

The manhole covers. Yeah. Those are, those are child safety manhole covers. You got to line up the arrows. You got to line up the arrows to pop it off. You have to press down really hard and turn it and then pull it up. The thing people don't expect is that giant cotton ball on the top of it. It's like sealed.

You got to pull that weird little cellophane off and then you're pulling out cotton. It's like a fucking wizard hat. You're just pulling cotton out of it. The missile's coming again. I can't stop my Canada's thing. Who thought the underneath the garage is just cotton? That's where all our cotton went. It's actually in certain places

of the country. It's snakes. You just open up all the snakes. Indiana Jones goes to jump down there. He's just like, fuck. Why is it always snakes? Why does it have to be nuclear missiles? I hate nuclear missiles. Everybody get in a refrigerator.

That's right. He got in a refrigerator. We'll all be safe inside these refrigerators. That is the worst movie I've ever seen. Yeah. I think that's the worst movie I've ever seen. The Crystal Skull movie I've ever seen. Yeah. I think that's the worst movie I've ever seen. The Crystal Skull? It is.

When he's swinging on the snakes, he's swinging, he's using them as like Tarzan vines? Yeah, he uses them as ropes, yeah. He's using a snake? He sees it as a whip? A load-bearing snake. Doesn't he use it as a whip

or something? Doesn't he get like caught in quicksand and he uses it to pull him out? He throws the snake and whips on something and like pulls himself out? I tried to banish it from my memory. I don't know. That movie was...

If it's not the worst movie ever made... It's tied. No, it's the worst movie ever made. It's tied, at least. At the very least, it's tied. I mean, I have seen midget porn called Itty Bitty Bang Bang. Itty Bitty Bang Bang? Yeah.

Much higher quality film than... Itty Bitty Bang Bang? Itty Bitty Bang Bang? Itty Bitty Bang Bang. Yeah. Much higher quality film. Itty Bitty Bang Bang. Itty Bitty Bang Bang. Itty Bitty Bang Bang is funny. That's why I watched it. That is funny. That's the only reason to get it. That is funny. Well, there's these two reasons to get it.

It's clutter. Better movie than Indiana Jones and the Crystal Scarlet or whatever. Little people. Is there Johnson the same size as a regular person's Johnson? Everything's so relative. Jones and the Crystal Skullet or whatever. Little people. Is there Johnson the same size as a regular person's Johnson? Everything's so relative. You know, like without a point of reference, I don't know.

There's no banana for scale. Holding up a deck of cards. Is there someone somewhere trying to dull them to some kind of a peaked response or a strong response. Is somebody messing with this? Is this a setup?

I mean, that's what. What are you talking? What the fuck are you talking about? She's just making weird. What are you talking about? Is this a setup? A setup for what? Did you see the alert people got?

Did you see a thing? It's like, this is not a drill it's not a drill there's fucking missiles coming or something that would be mind numbingly terrible could you imagine the anxiety attack I know I'd have an anxiety attack right there I'd be like I would because for me in Chicago there's I'm not going to get in my car

and try to travel somewhere because it's going to be a million trillion people out trying to go somewhere and there's going to be accidents and shootings and people fighting. I'm not going to do that. What I'm going to do is I'm going to lock my door. I'm going to sit in my living room and I'm going to wait to die. That's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm going to do. And it's like, and it's like, I couldn't imagine the anxiety attack I would have the 20 minutes in because, you know, there's a flight response immediately, but my, but my, I'm hoping that my, my, you know there's a flight response immediately but my but my i'm hoping that my

my you know the cognition part of my brain right is gonna say that's a stupid thing to do you're just gonna die tired you know why why die tired just sit here and relax and you know like if your wife's home hold your wife and just die because like i'm not living through a nuclear attack in the middle of downtown chicago i'm not going to do it. I'm not living through it. You're not going to erode that shit and fill your fucking bathtub full of fucking water. I'm dead. I'm going to die.

I mean, you're right downtown. You're right downtown. I'm 40 miles outside of downtown. I get to die very, very slowly. One of the things that I might be able to do is get to a fallout shelter. But again, you know, I don't know where those are and how many people are in there and do I got to fight my way in or do they shut the door on me? You know, like

I mean, like, it's just fucking terrible. It's just terrible. So you go through fucking 60 minutes or what was it? 40 minutes of this? Yeah. Can you imagine that? 40 minutes of, oh my God, I'm going to die. When's it going to happen? When's it going to happen? When's it going to happen? Where are my kids? And now you're just like, now you're just thinking like, well, is there any way that they can maybe shoot it down before it gets here? What's, you know, what's god, I'm going to die. When's it going to happen? When's it going to happen? When's it going to happen? Where are my kids? And now you're just thinking like,

well, is there any way that they can maybe shoot it down before it gets here? What's the, you know, maybe I can live through this? You're turning on the news and trying to watch it. Like you're just, like the fucking, it'd be like crazy cartoon bear panic. I don't understand. And also, I don't understand how it goes 40 minutes. Like, I don't understand how it goes even

20 minutes or 10 minutes or one minute. Right. In my opinion, nobody in that room that sent the message was like their phones. They go like, Oh fuck Jim, Jim, what the fuck Jim? So the cop,

the cops get a million calls. I'm sure the news is probably reporting it. Cause all those people had fucking alerts. So they're checking on the story. What's happening. Nobody calls anybody in charge during that 20 minutes worth of fucking scrambling that's just like and somebody's like no man we don't have a fucking bomb coming at us like none of that happens like like what it just i don't understand it makes me insane to think that that

went on i i don't understand how you build a system so easy to fuck up to like when i saw the screenshot i know the screenshot was like a fucking 1994 fucking cop you served fucking page! There's a drop-down menu of fucking acronyms and abbreviations and there's a very minor difference between

the this is a test and this is not a test. And they're not even next to each other. Yeah, and it's like somebody's going to nuke your geo cities. Right. Your geo cities. Only old people are going to get that shit. Oh, that was good.

If you're a listener and you're in Hawaii, let us know what you thought. I want to know what that was like. If you got that alert, let us know, like send us a message and let us know what happened. Send us your fucking pants,

you shit. Well, send us your Pornhub thing. That's the best thing you've ever shown me. What's hilarious was I saw somewhere that the Pornhub stats for Pornhub, you know, they keep track of their own stats and they noticed that Hawaii's

right after the alert came through, dropped down like a whole bunch and then right as soon as the alert came back and people knew, it shot up really, really high. So either you interrupted those sessions or a bunch of people were just happy to be alive

and wanted to get one off. Right? They just had a fucking relief erection. They're just like, oh my God, I'm so happy. It's the best day of my life. Goes through your mind. Well, the Federal Communications Commission under the leadership, the good leadership of Ajit Pai is looking into this.

And so I'm sure. You hear that? The good leadership of the guy who fucking who is like, yeah, hey, you know, net neutrality? Eh, fuck it. Pass. The good leadership of Ajit Pai. You want answers? I think I'm entitled.

You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This is great. This is right wing watch. This is Alex Jones. Media will soon claim that Trump rapes and eats Haitian babies. Well, that's not hyperbolic at all. So let's hear Alex Jones's calm, reasoned analysis. Okay, here we go. This is key in crisis management. To cover up a real story, you use a fake story.

And this is... Is that in Crisis Management 101? Is that what they teach you? Crisis Management 101. Right after you learn triage skills. How to stop a wound. Right. And then they're just like, somebody break out the fake stories. They just have like a jar just like, somebody break out the fake stories. They just have like a jar full of,

did you bring the fake stories? Here's the deal. It's not a bump stock. It's, what was it? What, there was fake stories that came out immediately afterwards too, where they said there was second shooters and all that stuff. Oh yeah.

Yeah. You know what the fake stories are? Crack pots. It's the same thing that happens with every single disaster, every single shooting when they, the fake stories are made by you. Right, yeah. He is a fake story generating machine.

He also can't differentiate between other stories and fake stories. So these guys will do that shit all the time. They'll be like, well, this other thing happened in the news that was concurrent with this thing that we were talking about. And this thing got more press attention. And as a result, it was a cover story. Yeah, it's a cover story. It's like, no, it's just that there's 7 billion of us and lots of stuff happens every day. And some people in newsrooms get to use their editorial power to choose which story goes

where. That's how news works. It's the mother of distractions. The Moab is the mother of bombs. That's conventional. This is the Moab of distraction. What would be the Moab? What a weird metaphor.

Mother of all distractions would be Moab, right? It wouldn't be the Moab of distractions. And they build it. And then you'll hear more quotes. Yeah, he said he rapes Haitian babies. Yeah, he eats them. Yeah, well, we just keep hearing about Haitians. It must be true. Who said he raped Haitian babies. Yeah, he eats them. Yeah, well, we just keep hearing about Haitians. It must be true.

Who said he raped Haitian babies? Who said he ate Haitian babies? I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I would bet that if Donald Trump came near a Haitian, he would immediately sanitize his hands and run away. That's what I would bet. I wouldn't believe he'd eat them. Are you

kidding me? He'd be like, no, I don't want that one. I want another piece of cake. I want a Norwegian baby. That's what I want. I want a Norwegian baby that looks like my daughter. I'm going to call her Stormy. Did you see the Stormy thing that came out? Yeah, I did.

And I saw an article on the Patheos blog, the progressive secular humanist blog, that was sort of like, hey, look how alike they look and like some quotes about like, supposedly about what she's saying. Yeah, what she's saying is, you know, that he was drawing comparisons between his daughter and, you know, the thing is, is like

he said some shit that is creepy and weird already. Like, and not like, this isn't behind the scenes. This isn't him in a fucking, in a car it's like him on oprah or whatever like yeah i know like auntie's just on tv he'd be like i'd fuck my daughter if i could it's not that he said i would be dating her if i if she wasn't my daughter he says like she's got a great body he like i mean he he talks in very sexually objectifying ways

yeah about his own absolutely so it's it's it's already weird right it's already weird but then he he went out and supposedly had this affair, which is funny because, like, didn't they drag Clinton through the mud for getting a blowjob? Yeah. Do we know if this is verified? I don't know where you'd

find out if he paid the money. Like, I don't know how you'd find that out. Or even slept with him, right? Exactly. Who knows? The story is that he paid $130,000 to Stormy Daniels, who's a porn star. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money, man. Well, I mean, look at the man. You could line your fucking room with hookers, though.

But not, look at that man. $130,000? He pays a premium. He pays a premium. $130,000? Woman shows up at the door, takes one look at him, decides to rethink her life, goes back, makes up with her dad, is out of the business. I wonder though too,

I wonder though too, like, you know, if you're famous, suddenly it's like it's so hard to do that because they are immediately like nobody's going to take $200 out. That's the thing. It's like there's a discretion issue. The discretion money is what it's about. Plus, she's a porn star, so she gets to charge her. She's not like charging hooker prices.

Yeah. She's charging porn star. I don't know what that would be, but like, I'm going to guess that that's a different price than somebody in Vegas. Right. You know? Yeah. Right.

Yeah. And they always pick a subject the Clintons are weak on. If they're on board the Jerry Epstein Lolita Express pedophile airplane, if they're involved with a bunch of pedophiles, if their own people got caught. The baggage check for that airline is weird. I'm just saying, very weird. You have to be this high to ride that line.

Every suitcase is vibrates. And it's shorter than this ride. It's shorter than the line. You have to be shorter than that. You can bring more than three ounces of liquids, though. You're actually encouraged. Shipping hundreds of kids out of Haiti for sex slavery and people get convicted for it that work directly for the Clintons. What do you do?

You fake fake. You file fake lawsuits with Jane Doe's who don't even show up saying Trump was with Jerry Epstein raping him on the airplane. And then it later turns out it's not true. That's what you do. These stories never, I didn't even hear that these stories that weren't true even happened. Even existed. I never heard that Trump raped a baby on an airplane. He like made up a story and then made up the response to the story.

And then they discredited the story. None of this happened. This is just all fucking hocus pocus Alex Jones insanity. If you're Russian agents on the Russian payroll, like Mueller, like Comey, like the Clintons. Those guys Mueller and Comey are Russian agents on the Russian payroll investigating the Russian connection. I got it. I got it. I think, you know. I got to go. I got Russian connection. I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta leave. I'm done. It's like hiding in plain sight, Tom.

It's like they're wearing that turkey gobbler outfit that you shoot the turkeys with where your face is all covered up. You look like a jihadi. Like the turkey jihadis. Right? Oh my God. The giblet j jihadis that's what you would call where is he just he just

writes this down the night before yeah I don't know I don't know where it comes from like I mean like I admire like because he's clearly a wonderful method actor yeah right Alex Jones he's a good writer he writes good stories like where does he like where does he draw his information you know his inspiration from

God I think I like the great method actors of all time and like it like Where did he draw his information from? His inspiration from. God. I think I like the great method actors of all time. Alex Jones just kills them all. He's the Daniel Day-Lewis of the news. That's who I was thinking of. Daniel Day-Lewis is just like... It's like Alex Jones pulled a Daniel Day-Lewis. He just never stopped. He's like that guy from Network.

He's just mad as hell. And he just channeled that guy and got stuck. He just can't get out of it. He is like Daniel Day-Lewis, except for he finished that milkshake. Like all these people, you just say Trump is. If you're a race baiting Nazi collaborator like George Soros, who said he's proud of what he did working for Nazi Germany. What do you do? You have the Southern Poverty Law Center and ADL.

You fun? Say Alex Jones is a Nazi. Is anyone saying Alex Jones is a Nazi? I think people are just saying you're an idiot. I don't think you're important enough to be a Nazi. No. Like you just, if there were Nazis,

they'd kill you. they'd kill you. So we want to thank our new patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons for pitching in, making Glory Hole Studio as possible, making sure that we can pay our employee to help out with the show. But we want to thank our newest patrons,

the Molotov Cockatiel. I love that. Melissa. Also a good one. Blake Von Sextron. Kevin. Kosarama Ding Dong Doo Op Shoe Bop. I hope I said that.

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we really do truly appreciate it if you want to become a patron all you have to do is go to dissonancepod.com the very top of the page there's a link you can become a patron

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we want to send a thank you out to Marissa who sent us a copy of her latest book isn't that sweet it was very nice for her to do so thank you very much Marissa

so we got a bunch of messages about substance abuse help we'll put a bunch of links on this week's show notes they were also on the link on Facebook for the Facebook episode last episode 396 help. We'll put a bunch of links on this week's show notes. They were also on the link on Facebook for the Facebook episode last episode, 396. But on 397, we will put these links

so you can find them if you like on this week's show notes. There's several different secular therapists that you could find. Smart Recovery is one of them that someone had linked to. Secular AA. The Secular Therapy Project. That's from Recovering From Religion.

We actually talked to that group on the phone once. But we want to thank everybody who submitted messages based on this. We hope that the person who sent us messages can find a secular therapist to help them with the problems that they're having. We got a cool video from Marcos, Tom. This is Smells Like Teen Spirit, except for it's played in the major key. It's so weird. It sounds like

a totally different song. It really does. And this is something I don't know. We're not musicians, so we don't know if people do this all the time or whatever, but it was very new to me. Yeah, and it sounds just crazy. It really changes the whole dynamic of the song. We're going to post it on this week's show notes. It's $3.97.

We have a funny pun, Star Wars pun for it's a play off of Kylo Ren. You can find it on this week's show notes. I'm going to put it on this week's show notes. It's episode 397. Very funny from Kiernan,

a Star Wars pun that I laughed at. We got a message from Sean in Melbourne and this is a Glory Hole soundbite that they sent. I sat down, had a few drinks, but all we kept talking about was Glory Hole. I love it. Tom, we got a message. This is from the bunk podcast. They had sent us, so they took skeptics creed. They translated it to German, then to Portuguese, then to Japanese and then back.

So here it is. Um, it's been translated. Tom, why don't you read it? Skeptic belief. Reliability is not a virtue. That's lucky. Biscuits clutter. Mother's problem. Hypno Babylon of Babylon. I wore Scientology. Double bubble job and anger. Fake alternative. Battery pressurized stereogram pyramidal type free energy curing.

Perfused misaligned brains have downward spiral defects. Infotainment. Leo Pisces. Detoxification of healing massage and reflex. Tarot card of death and tower. Crystal healing. Crystal ball. Bigfoot.

Yeti. Alien. Churches. Most in synagogue. A temple. Dragon. A huge insect. Atlantis.

Dolphin. Chester Bazaar. What are bizarre? I don't know what that is. Which assistant? Vaccinated sows. Sherman, Sherman healer, evangelist, ambiguity of conspiracy, publisher page, push your hand, blood spained, blood stained to prove definitive. I even doubt it Bloodstained. To prove definitive. I even doubt it. I love the end of it.

I do too. Push your hand. There's a couple of parts in here that are really funny. Reliability is not a virtue. I like that. That's pretty funny. Thank you, James from the Bunk Podcast. We got a message.

This is from, they didn't sign it. I don't want to read their email address. They said that crave vibrator necklace. They're like, granted I'll judge folks for buying it from goop, but that thing is fantastic. A few people ever see it and assume it's function when my partner wears it.

So great. And they said that like at what point it comes on when you hug, which is funny. But then the partner pointed out that someone was wearing a similar necklace and winked at the one wearing it and said, hey, I know what that is. And the woman nodded to her and said, yes, it's the ashes of my

brother. These mini-earths are the best way to keep them close to me. Oh my god. Oh god, that's so funny. That is so funny. Yeah, we got a couple of people who sent us messages and being like, hey man, what's the big deal? It's just a vibrator. It's like, yeah, you're right. Absolutely. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal.

It's just funny. You're wearing a sex toy around your neck. It's funny. And here's the thing, like, good for them. Like, I'm happy that they're going to diddle themselves. Like, good for you. You're sex positive. Good for you. Don't take from that segment that we were laughing at the fact that they were going to diddle themselves.

We just thought it was funny. We just thought it was humorous that they were wearing it around their neck. It's like, you know, it's like, it'd be like me wearing a flashlight around my neck, like a Flava Flav clock. It would be funny. It would be funny. Flava Flav clock. It would be funny. This is a weird flavor. Now. Fl would be funny. It would be funny. This is a weird flavor. Now flavor, flavor

flesh of flesh. So we got a message from Mike and Mike had said that our podcast had helped him when his dog died unexpectedly and it really helped him get through. And he also wanted us to let Eli know that it helped him as well,

that Eli was, I guess, existed. I don't think he listens to any of Eli's shows. Probably not. I don't think Eli listens to this show, so it's fine. That's why I can say that. But yeah, anytime that I get a message like this,

it's always very heartening. I know how hard it is to lose a pet. Losing a pet is really... It's really hard. It's tearing a piece of your heart out. It really is. I know how hard it is to lose a pet. Losing a pet is really, it's just really hard. It's tearing a piece of your heart out. It really is. I had a, I had a very close friend recently lost a pet and I saw them this last

Saturday and we both teared up while we were talking about our previous pets. Like it just, you can't not, you just can't not when you have a conversation like that, not, you know, have that moment where you're just like,

yeah, I remember my cats and I love them deeply. You know, it's like, then they're gone now and it sucks. Tom, we got another message about Do The Needful from Ryan. Yeah. So Ryan says, I thought it was just my work. The company I worked for used to be part of a massive HR software and services company. 90% of our employees were in India. We then got carved out by a private equity firm and jobs started coming back to the US.

But we retained some people in India for a while. time. Do the needful became a running joke complete with a dance. That's the part I love. I want to see the need for like, send us Ryan. You're doing Ryan. Somebody's got a videotape you do in the needful. That's always actually no don't tape that. So I looked this up. Do the needful has its own wiki entry. Does it really? It does. It's an Indianism. It's so like, like there's Americanisms, which are just American idioms, you know,

and it's an Indian American idiom. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's actually, it has a whole, there's a whole thing about it online. I looked it up after we got this particular email and I learned.

What does it mean? Like what is the. It means do what's necessary in order to accomplish what needs to be done. Okay. Oh, We got another message about the celiac. I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right. Am I pronouncing it right?

Is it celiac or celiac? I thought it was celiac. Is it celiac or celiac? I don't know. It doesn't matter. In any case, Joe sent in a message and said that it's not only

that you're allergic to it on your skin. It might just be that you get a little bit on your hands like if you have something in lotion and then you touch something you eat and you can then have a reaction to it on your skin. It might just be that you get a little bit on your hands, like if you have something in lotion and then you touch something you eat and you can then have a reaction to it too. I didn't realize

that was that sensitive. I had no idea that it was this serious. We got messages from people who told us like, yeah, this is a fucking, this is the real deal. Yeah. And I stand entirely corrected on that. I had no idea it was this serious. We got a message. This is from Tommy.

And Tommy says, Dear sirs. He says, I just listened to episode 361. I need a whole bag of the delicious Dejungervalli or whatever they're called. The weird little salt licorice from fucking Crazy Nation.

He's like, you were sent and enjoy it. This was actually one of the tastier candies we had growing up. Life is harsh here in Northern Europe. I guess so. It must be extremely harsh if you're eating fucking fertilizer licorice. I would rather

go on the street after it snows and pick up a slush ball from the street with a salty, gross black slush ball and eat that before I eat the fucking salt licorice. Here's the thing. I think I could get that down.

Yeah. I cannot keep that in my mouth. You just can't do it. We have a guest next week that's coming to the show. And I'm not going to say who it is yet because sometimes things go wrong and they might miss their flight or whatever, but we're going to have somebody in studio. We are going to have that person eat one of those licorice.

Oh, live stream. I don't know if we're going to live stream it, but we will certainly videotape it. Yeah. I'll do it too. In solidarity. I'll do it.

I will try again. I'll do it too. I just, I've not been able to keep that thing. So when we record episode 400 with this person, yes, we're going to have them try a licorice. We want to mention, so Aran was one of the people who helped facilitate us getting down to Australia. And Aran

sent us a message along with a ton of other skeptics he sent these to. But he's the president of the Australian Skeptics Incorporated. And there is a person by the name of Brit Hermes. Brit is a skeptic. And they were being sued by a naturopath because the naturopath for slander or libel, I think. And so they're raising money to try to get a legal fund for Brit. In four days, they've raised more than $58,000 or 37,000 euros. They want to get up to 50,000 euros. So that's 80,000, I guess, Australian dollars. That's $80,000, I guess, Australian dollars.

So we're going to put a link to this on this week's show notes so you can donate to this legal fund. What this is going to allow somebody to do is call someone who is a naturopath, who is doing damaging work to someone, call them out for being fraudulent. That's what they're being sued for. They're being sued for exposing this person as a fraud and they are being sued for it. So you should, if you have any extra funds and you think this is important work, go to our website. Brit is being sued

and all of these funds are going to go to that. Now, it says also on here too, so if this money doesn't get used and they collect more money than is required to cover the person's expenses, it's going to be held for a period of 12 months to ensure that there's no more legal risk. And then they're going to donate it to a charity called Sense About Science. Or it's going to be put in a generalized skeptics, legal defense fund. So your,

your funds, if they don't go to this, we'll go to future defense or to, uh, or to a charity. Um, so your, your,

your funds aren't just going away. They're not just going to like somebody's pocket. This isn't a go fund me. This is, this is a specific charity set up to help this person so that they can continue to be a skeptic. And this will also hopefully be, be sort of set up to help this person so that they can continue to be a skeptic and this will also hopefully be sort of set up as law then

that this sort of thing can't happen in the future this is fucking awesome Richard from Toulouse France I don't know if I'm pronouncing it I believe it's towels I don't think that's right he says bonjour Tom and Cecil I just listened to Pat

Robertson's lesson on French history in episode 396 and we did play that clip. I wound up playing that clip of Pat when he said that the Haitians made a pact with the devil to help them defeat Napoleon III. He says it doesn't quite match the real dates though. Haiti got independence from France in 1804.

Napoleon III was born in 1808. Just III was born in 1808. Just like that wicked devil to make a pact to help you get independence after independence, after you've already got it from a future, not yet born pre-fetus. That's awesome. Hilarious.

So Richard, thanks for listening from France. All right. Well, that's going to wrap it up for this week. Next week's going to be a little interesting. Tom, we're going to wrap it up for this week. Next week's going to be a little interesting. Tom, we're going to... Next week's 398. We're going to be recording in studio 398, but we'll also be recording episode 400.

Indeed. Next week. Pretty exciting. Which is pretty exciting. So that should be pretty crazy. We're looking forward to that. So we're going to... We'll let you know when it happens, though,

because like we say, flights sometimes get canceled, so we don't want to make big announcements beforehand. But, we'll let you know when it happens, though, because like we say, flights sometimes get canceled. So we don't want to make big announcements beforehand, but we certainly will let you know who's going to be on 400 on 398. So, yeah. So it's going to wrap it up for this week, but we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Thank you. Pisces, cancer cures, detox reflex, foot massage, death and towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, bigfoot

yeti, aliens, churches mosques and synagogues, temples dragons, giant worms Atlantis, dolphins, truthers birthers, witches, wizards vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy double speak stigmata

nonsense expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds.

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