Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 398: I Got a Giant Lexicon, Bitches!

Episode Date: January 29, 2018

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That's G-L-O-R-Y at AdamandEve.com. Hey, guys. I was listening to the most recent episode, have to do is type in Gloria. Check out that's G-L my way if i didn't have a girlfriend i just jerked the fuck off because man will go out with a bang and also i don't know if you guys seen that one picture of the guy that was uh that was basically fossilized um hey um but he was fossilized with his hand on his dick which i I gotta say, I respect that. So anyway, glory hole, assholes. Hey guys, this is Ben from Montana. Just listened to your episode and you have that bit about Hawaii and Alaska down there in the left-hand corner of the map.

I used to work with a dude on Oil Rigs who honestly believed that Alaska was an island because it was down there with Hawaii. I don't even know. I think it's the Butte School system. There's something in the water up there, but glory old days. So, Ferguson Show, two thoughts.

One, we should do a show together. And two, I have a serious correction to make on one of your previous shows, and I think this will speak for itself. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and

irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at all, though hopefully soon there will be new t-shirts. We are working on it, guys. We are working on it. We want to expand our merch line. We want to have, we got

some good ideas and some bad ideas. We want to run with them all. We want to run with the bad ideas. That's for sure. The problem is that most of my ideas are bad ideas. We want to run with them all. We want to run with the bad ideas. That's for sure. The problem is that most of my ideas are bad ideas. And then most, all. Hey. I mean,

all of most of them. Yes. Okay. All right. But saying yes to your good ideas is one of my ideas. So I feel like. I claim this idea. Yeah.

You get the chance to stick your. Don't shit on yourself, Cecil. You get to stick your. Your flag claim this idea. Yeah. You know, it gets a chance to stick your shit on yourself. Stick here. You're flagging my idea. Look, I'm in management. That's taking credit for other people's work. Pretty much what you do every day.

How do we do? Yeah. Good. Yeah. All right. I'm going back to bed. Well done guys. So in a few minutes,

Tom, we're going to be interviewing a person who were really excited. They're going to be coming to Glory Hole Studios for our 400th episode. Isn't that crazy? Hold on. Think about that for a second. 400th episode. We're going to be interviewing Seth Andrews, the Thinking Atheist.

He's not the Thinking Atheist. That's his show, the show, the Thinking Atheist. He's going to yell at me. He won't yell. He'll softly correct you in his dulcet tone. Ridiculously deep, perfect voice. If anybody needs a baritone.

It's just amazing. It is. If you are listening and you're a fan of the show and you want to wish us a happy 400th and you want to keep it short and you want to send us a message,

you're welcome to do so. This is a great way to plug your own podcast too if you're a podcaster and you want to welcome to do so. This is a great way to plug your own podcast too, if you're a podcaster, and you want to plug your own podcast. It's a great way to plug your own podcast really quickly. We are accepting them for the next couple of weeks, and we'll put them at the beginning of our forum.

Keep it 10 to 15 seconds. Yeah, pretty short. They want to be short, but we'll put them at the beginning, just like voicemails. So send them in. The best way to do it, you can, of course, call our voicemail number,

but the best way to do it might be to record a voice memo on your phone and send that along. But we'll be accepting them for the next couple weeks. We also want to announce really, like at the beginning of the show, so people will hear it because they might turn off the end. We will be live streaming

directly after the State of the Union address, which will be tomorrow when this releases. So this will release on Monday. It's going to be tomorrow night. We will be live streaming on Facebook as well as live stream will be on Twitter too beforehand and then

the link will be on Twitter, sent to Twitter. If you want to come and talk and listen to us chatter about what Trump just said, this will be a perfect opportunity. So we'll be on live on Monday or Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm just trying to think of the last fun time we came to the studio for a live presidential event. No, it wasn't because we did his inauguration. It was just as bad. Here's the thing. I blocked that out of my mind.

I carved that from my mental memory as the trauma that it was. I wonder if they're going to put those whiteboards underneath at the State of the Union. They put it underneath the senator's seats because they don't want to show up. They're just like, yeah, I'm not going to be able to make it.

Yeah, it's not. I'm busy. I'm not going. So check us out then. So if you want to come check us out. Do you think the State of the Union's required attendance? You know what I mean? They came to

I remember when they booed Obama. Do you remember that? The guy yelled and booed and was pretty rowdy. He was chastised pretty heavily. This isn't fucking this isn't Australia. Because they do that shit in Australia.

They yell at each other and they cheer at each other. They do that shit in England too. They get all hootie and hollery over there. They cheer at each other. But they don't do that here. Right. Because we're civilized.

Well, I'm curious. I kind of hope, I'll be honest, I kind of hope a Democrat doesn't boo him this time. I don't want him to be booed. I don't want that to happen. The thing is like,

it just makes every, it makes you look like an asshole. And now you're saying it's okay. Now you're like, well, everybody can boo anybody. Yeah. We've already, with Trump, and I'm kidding, but I'm sort of not too. Like, we've already lowered the required level of discourse. Absolutely.

And of intellect. Absolutely. And of polite discussion. We've already said, like, we'll take less. Yeah. Like, we'll take less. It's like, this is the presidential version of, like, settling. You know what I mean? You're just like, oh, my less. Yeah. Like we'll take less. It's like, this is the presidential version of like settling. You know,

you know what I mean? It's like, Oh my God. Fine. I can't just, I'm pregnant. So fine. Just fine.

Jesus. Fine. Right. Just get. All right. That is pretty much only the rest of my life. This is the presidential equivalent. Yeah.

Gosh, I just can't wait for the inevitable divorce. I just hope the cheeseburger punches him in the stomach. Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. This is fucked up. Raw story. Michigan pastor only gets 60 days after he's busted trying to hook up with 11 year old

in Craigslist sex sting. This is pretty much what it sounds like, but I want to read a quote from here. This guy goes in front of the judge. So, I mean, this is what he's doing. He's trying to arrange a fucking sexual encounter with a little kid, right? 11 year old. He's a, and he is a pastor. Yeah.

Yeah. And he goes in front of the judge and he's like, look, I'm a good person. Despite, you know, trying to fuck a fifth grader. And he says, despite previously telling police that he had sexual interest

in children ages 12 to 13. He says, this case is not a reflection of who I am. I am a good person. No, this is a reflection of exactly who you are.

Look, I like to fuck 11 year olds, but I also take out the recycling on are. Look, I like to fuck 11-year-olds, but I also take out the recycling on time. Well, then, now that you say that, it's fine. Make sure. It's totally fine. The bins are in after the garbage truck goes by. Look, I mean, the fucking 11-year-olds aren't going to do it.

So someone's got to take out the recycling. Replace the garbage disposal last week. Well, you know, I mean, I guess that makes up for being a child fucking a child pastor. You know, and that's the thing. It's like what person goes on to Craigslist to look for little kids to fuck? What kind of idiot hoping to be arrested? What kind of weird Craigslist ad is that? Misconnections.

Jesus. Is he like going to like all the people selling their Xbox and asking them if they're alive and if they want to fuck? He's just like looking. He's like, would you trade your Pokemon cards for semen? Maybe. No, no takers. Oh, oh, wait. It turned out you were an undercover cop.

Who would have thought? I'm a good person. I'm a good guy. You know, if only the Bible had a single commandment called don't rape kids. We're like, hey, you know what the Bible could have? It's a commandment that says don't rape. Can't we just have like a five and a half? Right?

Like, just let's pencil it in. I love it. There's 10 commandments. And it's like, it's like the worst crimes you can think of aren't there. Right? Seriously, though. It's like, you had 10. Well, murder.

Murder's there. Murder's on there. All right. So you get the one. You're not supposed to, you know. But rape isn aren't there. Right? Seriously though, it's like, you had 10. Well, murder. Murder's there. Murder's on there. Alright, so you get the one. You're not supposed to, you know. But rape isn't on there. Slavery isn't on there. You know, torture. Hostage taking. There's like so many things. And the funny thing is like, these are things that it took us thousands of years to figure out were wrong, right?

Slavery, it took us, it took, as a species, it's taken us how long? Oh, I know. And we still have a problem with human trafficking. We still have a problem with it. Just put it in your fucking book. It's not like it's a short book. You're not like short on fucking space in that thing.

Admittedly, though, you know, we still have problems with human trafficking because it's in the book as like it's okay, but we also still have problems with gays, Tom, and that's in the book as well. Oh yeah, there you go. So you know what I mean? So people would just ignore it. You got me there. Yeah. God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. This story is fucked up. It's from NPR. Trump admin will protect health workers

who refuse services on religious grounds. So the Trump administration basically set up a whole division dedicated to protecting health workers who refuse services or would like to refuse health services on religious grounds. And we talked about, you know, kind of a dovetailing subject earlier when we talked about the, the shitheads who sent the nasty pamphlets, right?

Yeah. And it's, it, this kind of, this kind of feels the same, right? Like now all of a sudden there is a, a religious reason to be an asshole and refuse somebody medical treatment. Specifically, this refers to protecting doctors and other health workers who might not want to perform services related to abortion or euthanasia.

And it's like, it's all bullshit. Right? Cecil and I were talking about this earlier and it's like, you know, it's not like you show up at the hospital, just like walk in and be like, hi, abortion please. And then they just put you in the abortionator 3000. And anyway, you guys could just help me commit assisted suicide.

I'm alive. Can you fix that? I'm in perfect health. Right. Yeah. So none of that, none of that is the case. Like that's not how any of this works. So doctors are not forced to perform abortions. Like you go to an abortion clinic, a place that provides these, you just wouldn't work there.

Like that's a service you don't want to provide. You wouldn't work there. There's plenty of other things you can do as a medical professional. Right. You don't have to do that. You don't have to provide end of life care that includes euthanasia. Like they can already, they can already deny you if you don't have the right professional. Right. You don't have to do that. You don't have to provide end-of-life care that includes euthanasia. Like,

they can already, they can already deny you if you don't have the right insurance. Yeah. They just don't take your appointment, right? So they have all these rights. But where,

where I, where I grow concerned and we've seen stories and covered stories about this is when religious hospitals specifically refuse medical necessary abortions. Yeah.

Necessary stuff. Stuff that could save the life of the mother. Right. Yeah. And, you know, or, you know, we've had stories where people were in terrible pain, terrible, terrible pain for excessive periods of time

in the middle of a miscarriage and doctors refused to perform an abortion in the middle of a painful, inevitable miscarriage. Those things are tragedies and those should be against the law. Like, Iies and those should be against the law. I think that shit should be against the law. We were talking about whether or not a doctor should have

to perform these services. I think if it's medically necessary, the fucking answer is an easy yes. Medical necessary, I think the answer is easy yes. You and I both agreed that if a doctor didn't want to perform this stuff and it wasn't medically necessary, if it was just like, you know, medically necessary,

if it was just an elective thing, then yeah, you know, maybe they could transfer the person to another person or whatever and avoid doing this particular thing, you know, that's against their conscience. The problem is, is that if they create this, you know, this branch of the government to do this,

what it's allowing is basically all, it's basically allowing medical professionals to be like that woman who wasn't fucking issuing fucking marriage licenses because it was against their conscience. Exactly. You know what I mean? It's going to be the same thing except for instead of having somebody in office that can stop that,

now you don't. Now you have somebody who enshrines that behavior. And so like, I don't think this is actually going to result in a whole lot of net new activity at all like or prevent anything from actually happening what this feels like is a pander this feels like a blatant pander to a religious base to say hey look at what i've done to protect you it's like that religious it's your religious freedoms are totes important it's like oh is this going to have any practical impact on anyone's life no

probably not probably not but look what I did for you. Right. And one hand washes the other. Right. Vote Trump. Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts.

All right. So we want to revisit a topic that is horrifying. I don't know why we're doing this. We are because it's still got some juice in it. It's from CNN.com. This is ants of 13. And that's actually a correction because I said 12. Yeah.

Last episode, I said it was 12 kids. They found another one. At some point, you just stop counting because it's not interesting anymore. You know, is it a dozen or a baker's dozen? I don't know.

It doesn't matter. They're all abused. So that was fucking lunatics, the Turpin family. They had those 13 kids and they, and they abused them just terribly, just terribly. This is a story

where the aunt comes out, right? The sister-in-law of the dude. The aunt comes out and is like, yeah, they were super weird as it turns out.

This isn't one of those scenarios where people are like, they were so quiet. It's so nice. It's so nice. This is one of those people like, those people were weird.

It turns out, it turns out everything that they were doing, like when they had their kids like greenskeeping at night in the evening. Right. When they had, you know, all these, like the kids were super skinny and nobody ever saw them. And they were kind of weird and pale. And they didn't know what police officers were and stuff. This isn't one of those times where you're just like, oh, yeah, they were real nice.

Like everybody around them is like, no, they weren't. They were super fucking weird. It was kind of weird. It was sort of weird the whole time. So the sisters, like one of the sisters is like, yeah, those kids look really skinny. It's like, yeah, that happens when a 29-year-old person is mistaken for a 10-year-old, right?

Yeah. That is, yeah, that's some fucking horror show shit. The other sister reported like the sister-in-law of that dude was like, yeah, you know, I went to go visit and it was kind of weird because whenever I would take a shower, the dude would come into the bathroom and just sit and watch me shower. And then I love what she says about it. Cause it's sort of like, it's, it's horrifying, but it's also sort of like perfect. She says, you know, I didn't say anything

because I was young. I was scared and I was in Texas. Texas. Yeah. Enemy territory. Makes sense. Absolutely. First of all, it makes sense to be

scared when you're in Texas. Absolutely. I just feel like as soon as you cross that border. Behind enemy lines, my friend. It's like, oh, absolutely. First of all, it makes sense to be scared when you're in Texas. Absolutely. Right. I just feel like as soon as you cross that behind enemy lines, my friend. It's terrifying. Yeah. Right. Exactly. The best case scenario in Texas is an enemy mind. Exactly.

Where you have to work together to survive the illegal alien. Speaking of which, did you see the zombies? Speaking of which, did you see the video? Zombies! Zombies! With this story, it's funny that he didn't hire an illegal immigrant to do his lawn. It'd probably be cheaper than feeding. Well, I guess he didn't feed him.

Nothing cheaper than starvation labor. I gotta say, you look at the picture of this guy. You look at the photo of this guy. Doesn't he look like a 1950s movie version of a Renaissance noble? He looks like a prince from one of those guy. Doesn't he look like a 1950s movie version of a Renaissance noble? He looks like a prince from one of those movies.

Doesn't he? He looks insane. He does. He looks like a crazy person. That's like both of these pictures, but particularly this guy. He's got an old lady's haircut. That is an old lady haircut.

Yeah. You know, we were talking last time about, you know, whether or not the woman was involved. You know, you're saying that she, you know whether or not the woman was involved you know you're saying that she you know clearly she's complicit if she's there that way but we don't know if she was abused too right you have no idea sure and you know that's that's what this woman i

think is sort of saying like right it's not her fault like like she's short of making it seem like especially in this article like you know the guy was really did have a lot of the ringleader yeah exactly it you look at this guy though just to get back to the idea that people didn't know what was up. There's no way you see this guy. And you're like, oh, he just seems like a normal guy. He's a normal dude. That guy just doesn't. He seems not.

He did his own bangs. He cut him off himself. But there needs to be a way to keep track, Cecil, of how many kids people have and what happens to them and where they go. Some kind of like centralized system that all the kids go to on an everyday basis. Yeah. And there should

be no exceptions to that, right? Well, you know, I don't know that I would say that there should be no exceptions to homeschooling. And I know for sure you don't, you're not a thousand percent on the public school system because your son's in a private school. And your other son's

probably going to go to a private school, almost certainly. You know what I mean? It's not that you don't, you're not like fucking sucking off the public school system. You're like, yeah. There are times when there are other options. Absolutely.

Which are way better than what you can give your kid. And homeschooling might be that for a very qualified person. But there's almost never any checks and balances to make sure that they are ultra qualified for that position. It's not that I'm against homeschooling. It's that I'm against unregulated homeschooling, which there's an article from Wong Kat that suggests that in California,

it is very much unregulated. I believe, you know, from other articles I've read, I believe it's very much unregulated across the board. Yeah. And one of the regulations isn't even one of the regulations in schooling. It's very important. It has nothing to do with education or academics has to do with just somebody else is keeping an eye on those kids to make sure they still exist. And someone's feeding them. Yeah. You know, basic shit. Because like if my kid, even my kid in private school, my kid just stopped showing up. Just just stop showing up.

And nobody calls and nobody says anything and nobody, they just one day isn't around anymore or he comes to school with bruises and if they don't, if he comes to school with bruises, they're going to contact they're not going to talk to you they're not going to talk to you, they're going to

fucking circumvent you immediately and they're going to talk to somebody who has the power to maybe take that child away from you. And all of that stuff is, you know, if you're involved in a system and like, I've got a little boy who keeps fucking bumping his fucking head on everything because he's three and he's clumsy because he's made out of half my

parts. But like, you know, we've gotten calls from the school and they're like, are you sure what's going on? And I'm like, yeah, he's fine. He just bumps his fucking head because he's an idiot. Hit him a lot. You know, right. The beatings are, we keep the beatings below them. fucking head. Cause he's an idiot. Hit him a lot. You know, right. And I just, the beatings are, we keep the beats below. I just throw a can of soup at him once in a while.

But it is nice that somebody's looking out. Yep. Yep. And like, the thing is like, if you have, if you homeschool your kids, especially if you homeschool them from the jump.

Yeah. They never enter the system. Yeah. So, so they don't exist. And you know, what's interesting in this article, they talk about,

um, only two States, surprisingly, Pennsylvania and Arkansas require some sort of background check on the parent. And it says that Pennsylvania will not allow parents who have been convicted of a number of things within the last five years to homeschool their children. And Arkansas prohibits convicted sex offenders from homeschooling. So that tells you something crazy about the system that, that there is no real checks in any other place where, you know, I mean, where, where just, you would just be like, oh, you know, first off, I don't know how a convicted sex offender even has a child in their care.

I don't even know how that's possible. I genuinely don't know how that's possible. I would imagine that the government would do a better job than that. No, but I don't think that they can, right? Like, that's the thing about procreating, like reproducing, is there's no laws that say who can and can't. There's not, as far as I know,

there are no laws that say who can and can't. And like, you have to be proven unfit to raise your kid. A conviction of sex of some sort of sex offense. Somebody has to fit, but somebody has to bring that to someone's attention. Wow. Right. That's the thing about the system is like somebody has to act to bring something to someone's attention.

Yeah. Tom, I want you to read part of this article. It's two paragraphs here. It's from the L.A. Times. It's not part of it. It's part of this article, but it's quoted in this article, this one cat article. It's from the LA Times. I'll try to make it a little bigger so you can see it.

Thank you. I'm trying to squint so I can see it. I tell my wife that. I'm like, I'm going to make it a little bigger. So you can see it. And she's like, I still can't see it. It's fine. So this is from the LA Times.

This is talking about other abuses that have happened, but specifically from homeschool kids. The Turpin children were found chained to their beds. So was Calista Springer, a 13 year old Michigan girl who died in a house fire in 2009, when she was unable to free herself. Christian showed of Indiana was kept naked in a cage. He died in 2009 at age 13,

but his death was not discovered until two years later. Oh my God. Unbelievable. In Arizona, a 14-year-old girl was locked in a bedroom for more than a year and routinely raped by her father, who escaped by kicking... No, she escaped, not the father. She escaped by kicking down the door when the rest of the family was away and running two miles across town to the home of a friend from when she attended school.

In Ohio, a couple forced their 11 adopted special needs children to sleep in cages. Can I stop reading? This is hurting. I know. Isn't it awful? As with the Turpins, those parents told investigators they believed they had done nothing wrong. Two sisters in Florida were locked in makeshift cages and whipped with leather straps.

In nearby Georgia, Mitch Comer spent four years locked in a bedroom in his family's home. When he turned 18, his parents put him on a bus to Los Angeles with pamphlets for homeless shelters. That is unbelievable. Unbelievable. None of that shit could happen. They didn't even give him a sandwich. I can't even believe that.

No, but really, you know, especially when you talk about the kids that were kept away from other people when they were locked away. You're right. That cannot happen if your kid is enrolled in public school. Yep. It's like, you just have to, you know, there's a pain in the ass to the fact that we're all part of this system. And I get it. And I get it. But the fact that there's a system keeps the most vulnerable of us safe.

Yeah. Do you believe that the earth is round? Yes, I do. Okay. You believe that earth is round? Yes, but I heard the new one that the earth is round. There's no new one. There is no new one.

Okay, I heard some crazy one. Do you believe that we are? Do you believe? This is going to sound crazy. Ben Diggles, this is a shout out to you. He came to us. He listens to Super Conspiracy. There we go.

This is not a conspiracy. The earth is flat. No, the earth is flat. Oh, here we go. He came to us. He listens to Super Conspiracy. There we go. This is not even conspiracy. The earth is flat. No, the earth is flat. Oh, here we go. I love this guy. I love this guy, Cecil. I love this guy so much. This is from the Philly Voice.

About a month ago or so, and we didn't cover it because it didn't happen. About a month ago or so. Yeah, the guy, he just fucking, he just like pulled out. Right. Like it wasn't even like a good pull out.

He pulled out early. Yeah. It's a waste of your time. Pulled out early. I just, oh, shit. Shit. He put it in once and then he ran home. I gotta go. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna go jerk this in the back. I may.

I'm scared. Doctor, do you have anything for premature? Forget it. I'm good. This guy, Mad Mike Hughes. I love this story with all of my heart. He built a fucking steam-powered rocket. Every part of this story is better than every other part of this story. Yeah, it really gets better as you work your way through it.

He built a steam-powered rocket, and his intention is to research flat Earth. Uh-huh. Now, what he wants to do is he wants to shoot himself in this janky-ass looking fucking... Seriously, it looks like a model rocket you build in your backyard. It looks ridiculous. It looks like someone attached several trash cans together and then put a cone on the top of it. Also, again, I want to point out

it's steam powered. You know, like nothing is anymore. You have to go back in time. I know, right? He's going to shoot himself some varmints before. I'm surprised it has a cone and not a cow catcher on the front of it. Are you kidding me? It's got its own cane that it spins.

There's going to be bandits that try to board the rocket. When it comes back down, it's just an umbrella opens. If everything goes perfectly, the best part of this, he wants to research flat earth. If everything goes perfectly, he's going to go, he's going to hit an altitude

of about 2,000 feet. 2,000 feet. So I recently was on a hot air balloon. It was 4,000 feet. Yeah. That's not high enough. Also airplanes.

It's not high enough. He could just buy a ticket. It's not high enough on an airplane. I know it's not, but like the best part is like he could go higher, safer, cheaper. Like he could just. He could get on a jumper flight at 40,000.

They cruise at 40,000. Right. That's what I mean. So he's not getting. First of all, he's going to risk his life. Yeah. Shooting a bunch of fucking steam up his ass until he goes a half a mile in the air for no reason. For no reason at all.

The thing is, I can't figure out. I know it's for publicity, right? I know he's doing it for publicity. And so are like those, you know, when you see on the back of people's cars, they have those ribbons, like the magnetic ribbons. Yeah, there's a ribbon for every cause. There's a red one for cancer

and a pink one for breast cancer and a I don't know, like a yellow one to bring the troops home. There's all kinds of different ones, right? There's all kinds of different ones. This feels like a ribbon for science illiteracy. It's like it's bringing attention

to science illiteracy because he's going to go to me like, nope, look flat to me grubber doodly doo. It makes sense too because, you know, he's going to be wrapped around a tree just like a ribbon is when this is over. Like the first time he tried to do this, the the the FAA or whatever was like, yeah, no, you can't. You're in you're in a space where real people are going to be in in good aircraft. You might hit one of them.

Yeah. And when you land, you might fall on somebody that's worth a shit. So they said no. So he found a place where he can take his fucking like he's got an RV or some shit. This thing is attached to. That's like powered with his steam orgone generator or whatever. That he's going to use. He's going to shovel coal into something.

My favorite thing is like, I read an article about this guy before, like this isn't his first rodeo. He's done crazy shit before. He built another rocket before in his life and he launched himself in a rocket and there's video on YouTube of this thing crashing,

crashing into the ground and they pull him out of it. He's moaning. It gets all fucked up. He's like, he's like a science. He's like, if like Bill Nye got beaten with a hammer and then made it with evil Knievel. If after, if like

Bill Nye went missing and you found him under the stairs 30 years later, he was homeschooled. How do you like that? My own mother falling for that stuff. Well, you don't know, Larry. Maybe Dr. Kuh-hoo-ha can help her. Doctor?

That guy's no doctor. He's a quack. Oh, this is fucked. So this is from smackmyhead.com.au or Sydney Morning Herald, whatever. SMH. Call for age limit after chiropractor breaks baby's neck. I think SMH means spine. Mine hurts.

Actually, after you break your neck, nothing hurts. No, that's true. If you break it right. You got to break it right, though, Tom. It's a call for an age limit. So a baby, some parents brought their fucking infant, an infant to the fucking chiropractor. And the chiropractor broke the fucking kid's neck.

And there's not a lot more to that story. I know, but can't you just cut out the middleman and just take him to like Home Depot and ask the guy at the paint counter to put him in one of those paint shakers? Just to shake. Can you imagine being so lazy? Or like you're like a dugger, so you have to build a machine to automate the baby shake you're like oh god i'm so tired

i can't even hire a 13 year old to watch this kid and get angry i have been shaking babies for 40 years i'm so tired of it now our kids made out of cartilage anyway can't you just hold on to their legs and like spin real fast and they'll fix themselves? Well, you know, the problem is that a lot of chiropractors will advertise that chiropractic will cure colic, for example. Yeah, a couple of things.

And I will say from personal experience, my second son was colicky. He was colicky for 14 months. And from experience, there's no amount of shaking you won't do to get that kid to stop crying. My second son, I didn't even hold him

for the first 14 months of his life unless he was dead asleep because he just fucking screamed anytime he wasn't teet attached. It was horrible. It was horrible. So I get the frustration, the desire to do anything to fix it.

What's problematic is that the chiropractic is not a solution. It's a shit solution to a real problem. And again, like we've talked about before, you take these people that are, you know, parents in this case, who are desperate and they're tired and they're upset that something's wrong

with their kid. And they just want to fucking fix it. And they go to this guy who's like, yeah can fix it and the guy instead breaks your baby's neck well in your case they didn't fix it no he just grew out of it he just grew out of it yeah there is no fix there's no there's no fix no there's no fix for you just wait it out so worst part about it is that some things there's just no fix right for colic all you do is wait it out and resent your child yeah i think those are that's the key. Those are the two things you do. You gotta do them simultaneously. The best way to do that,

Tom, is take a lot of videos while he was real shitty as a baby. And show it to him later. And just, no, you show it to him every night before he goes to sleep. Remember when you did this? Remember? Here's your 30-minute video before you could've. I had a big meeting. I could've been something. It's just, but this isn't the only thing, though, too.

And there's other people who think, tend to think that their baby, that their baby comes out and it needs an adjustment. Like not just, not just because there's a thing, but like their chiropractor has told them that they need every week to come in and help pay my boat payment. So every week,

come in, come in, come in. You got to get your, we got a brand new machine. You got to stand on it for, come in, come in. You got to get your, we got a brand new machine. You got to stand on it for a little bit. And then it's going to get your, your orgone. And it's going to tell us what your Google doc is.

And then we're going to figure that out. We're going to come back in here and I'm going to, I'm going to tell you to move your leg and I'm going to make your back snap. And you're gonna be like, wow, that feels weird. It kind of hurt for a second, but now it feels better than the hurt. Okay. It's, it's funny because like these guys sell you on this, like maintenance visit, you know this like maintenance visit you know like

and these kids they sell it because i i i used to be involved in this world a little bit like they sell this shit particularly for infants and they treat them like they're a pair of new shoes that have to be broken in yeah you know and it's like they're not they're a fucking human being and like 250 000 years of evolution like kids are not that fucking fragile. Right. They're just not. Yeah. If, if people, if babies were really all that fragile,

we as fragile as we treat them now. Sure. There wouldn't be an us. Yeah. We wouldn't even, there wouldn't be an us. We're not all that fucking fragile. We don't come out like,

I wouldn't come out fucking helpless and stupid and made out of garbage for sure. And like, we have to be taken care of and all of that. But like, in terms of like just surviving fucking babies are robust as shit. They don't, they can fall off a bed.

No, no, an infinite number of times. And they're almost always just fine. Do you suddenly swear? Tell truth, all truth, and nothing but the truth.

Why don't you answer him? He's talking pig right now. I don't know what he's saying. He's asking you if you swear. No, but I know all the words. He's asking you if you swear. No, but I know all the words. He's asking you if you will swear to tell the truth. Truth is stranger than fiction, Judge Woody.

Oh, God, this fucking guy. This is amazing. This is from statesman.com. Texas judge interrupts jury, says God told him his defendant is not guilty. This is seriously crazy because that's exactly what happened. So this judge in Texas, the jury was hearing this case. It was hearing this. It's kind of a horrific sexual abuse case. And the judge was like, oh, hang on a minute. Hang on. When God talks, I got to listen. And God is, in fact, I want to read what he said. Hold on. It's in the

article. He said, Judge Jack Robinson apologized to jurors for the interruption, but defended his actions saying, quote, when God tells me I got to do something, I got to do it. And then he tells the jurors to return a not guilty verdict in the trial of a woman accused of trafficking a teen girl for sex. Now, thankfully, the jury was like, even a Texas jury, even a Texas jury. The Texas jury was like, it's like 11 Yosemite Sam's they were like fuck that this dude is guilty

this one was guilty as fuck right so they reported her guilty but this guy like the judge is not supposed to do that shit that's why you have a jury the judge is not supposed to be like hang on a minute Jesus said not guilty I will say of all the times for God to speak up Well, you have a jury. The judge is not supposed to be like, hang on a minute. Jesus said not guilty.

I will say of all the times for God to speak up, because this guy's done hundreds of cases. Yeah. A slavery case seems like the case that God would speak up for. Actually, it seems like the time he wouldn't speak up. He didn't fucking bother to speak up for it anywhere in the Bible. Well, no, he doesn't want this person prosecuted. I guess you're right. Innocent. He's like, wait a minute.

Hold on. I purposely left that out of the commandments. I just want you to know that it's totally in my book that I wrote. My number one bestseller. I'm actually pro sex, child sex slavery. Totally cool with slavery, guys. God. Yeah.

And, you know, it's crazy to me because the courts seem pretty careful for the most part. There's all these rules in place for courts. You know, you can't poison the jury with certain things and they strike things from the record. Well, I'm just saying that's implied. Yeah. They can sometimes be, juries can sometimes be hidden away from society, right? There's times that we do that. There's all these little things that are involved in court cases that try to make sure that it's sort of, you know, as, as impartial, as fair

as possible. How the fuck did this guy get this, go this long in this business? Well, look, look at the thing, scroll down a little bit because look at this thing from 2011 that happened. So he was, he was investigated by a state commission in 2011 and they slapped him with a reprimand for improperly jailing a grandfather who called him a fool for a ruling that he made

in a child custody case. The reprimand, the commission's harshest form of rebuke, said Robinson exceeded the scope of his authority, failed to comply with the law by jailing the man for contempt without a hearing

or advanced notice of the charge. Like this is a guy who sounds like he just treats his courtroom like a fiefdom. Yeah. You know, and I have read a number of articles where there are a number of judges who treat their courtroom like a fiefdom. And, you know, the oversight again, you know, these guys are these judges are incredibly

powerful, incredibly powerful. Yeah. And bringing these cats to justice is not an easy thing to do because they are part of that system. Anytime you have to bring somebody into their own system, which they influence, they know all these fucking people. They're going to fucking drinks and dinner with all these guys. It's like, how do you call the police on the police? It's the same shit. It's the exact same thing.

It's the same shit. And you're going to run into a wall every time you try to go after this guy. And what's crazy is that some of these people, I mean, probably not in this case, but in other cases, some of these judges are appointed for life. That's insane. You know what I mean? I thought that was just the Supreme Court. I just recently learned that it's not.

It's not. These are lifetime appointments for some of these judges. I would never wear pants. Yeah. What are you going to do? I know. What are you going to do, huh? No pants.

No pants. You're doing the no pants dance every day. I wear the robe. All rise. Here comes Tom. Please join him in the no pants dance.

All rise. I've got to start on this. I'm a slow starter. I have to point it out that I've started. Anyway, I'm a slow starter. I have to point it out that I've started. Anyway, I'm also finished. We want to take a few seconds here to talk about our sponsor, AdamandE.com.

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This is so funny. This is from the Raw story. So this is one of those idiot prophets. We cover this guy a couple times. Yeah. So what's his name again? I forgot his name. This is prophet Mark Taylor, who looks like he looked like he stopped thinking about what he should do with his

facial hair and actually all of his hair like in 1979. He's like, you know, it's a good look. Hawaii five. Sam Elliott. It's a good look? Hawaii Five-0. Sam Elliott. It's a good look. He's got a mullet. The man has a mustache and a mullet. He has a mustache and a mullet. If you put a cowboy hat on

him, though, he's rocking it. He could actually teach Billy Crystal a thing or two in a little movie called City Slickers. Billy Crystal standing next to him with a fucking big cow covered in blood. Oh, God.

So this guy is a self-styled prophet. They're all self-styled prophets. None of them are appointed prophets by the International Prophet Committee. Right. You all made that up. So this guy claims that he basically caused Clinton to collapse. Now, if you guys remember, Clinton had pneumonia and she had a fucking schedule that human beings cannot keep.

What did he shoot? A blow dart? Ha ha ha ha! A couple seconds later, she swats in her neck like, It's a big fucking thing. It's like a carnation on the end of it or whatever those things are. Like Indiana Jones in Temple of Doom.

There's just like... She goes cross-eyed before she falls. All right, so here goes. This is from Right Wind Lunch. We need to come together as a fighting force, the army of God. Now, I want to use this example. We did a national prayer call 60 days before November 8th for the 2016 election for Donald Trump.

Now, my co-author, Mario Colbert, started it, and the Lord told her to do it on Labor Day. Started on Labor Day. It's going to be a labor of love. Wait a minute. Aren't we supposed to have Labor Day off? That seems like a dick move.

That's like your day off of work. The guy's like, not by you. You got to a dick move. That's like your day off of work. Not by you. You gotta work. You can't eat and you gotta work. He's only got one Sabbath day off a week anyway. It's not like God was like, Yeah, I'll get the weekend. That was unions, motherfucker. It wasn't God.

You get Sunday and you get the six federal holidays. First we had to create the idea of federal, though. Six days a week. Get to work on Saturday. So we went 60 days straight every single morning for 15 minutes. One person would pray, would lead the prayer. Now, I'm using this as an example.

It's like the golden child. There's just like one person and they're always praying at them. Always trying to pray at them. They're slipping the blood in his. Always trying to pray at him. They're slipping the blood in his oatmeal trying to trick him up. Am I supposed to be impressed that they committed

to something that took 15 minutes a day? Am I supposed to really be? You can fucking do Duolingo for that long. Yeah, right? But it's not even like a Rosetta Stone.

You know what I did? You learn how to say fucking baguette after 60 days. Fuck off. They committed a 15 whole minutes a day of thinking in the general direction of the sky. That would be real tough. Oh my God, I'm so tired.

What'd you do? Oh, I spent five minutes. I've done it like 47 days in a row. 47 days. I thought specific thoughts. An example. This is the power and authority that we have when we are in one heart, one mind, and one accord in unity like God has called us to be. This is the power and authority we have.

So Mary had me on 9-11 because I was a first responder. She wanted me to stand up for the first responders. Well, I didn't take this job lightly. I took it very serious. I went before the Lord just like I do my prophetic words. And I said, Lord, what does that mean? just like I do my prophetic words. And I said, Lord, what does that mean?

When I, when I want to prophesy something, I go to the God. I'm like, Hey, is it cool if I say the following shit? Cause that's what I was. Is this, is any of this true? What does that mean? Well, I am thinking, I think we should all feel bad for him. Cause the commute to heaven and back. Oh, it's a bitch sucks. And it sucks because I don't remember.

If you remember another pastor had to get food poisoning to get there. I remember that guy. I remember that guy. if you remember another pastor had to get food poisoning to get there. The fucking commute to heaven sucks. Yeah. And you can only stay there as long as you sleep. What do you want me to pray for? Not what I want to pray for. What do you want me to pray for? And a lot of the people that were coming on,

they're praying by the way, uh, the Lord was telling me they're using two generalized a prayer mark and too generalized repentance. He says, you need to get focused, target focus. That's where I learned the target focus prayer and repentance stuff. So I sat down before the Lord. I wrote out 15 straight minutes worth of target focus repentance first because that's what disarms the enemy, right? We just learned that earlier.

That's what takes away the enemy's legal right to be there. It's legal right to be there? Or he'll take you to court and sue you? I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be here. You can't get rid of me. What is that? Oh.

Subsection 2, paragraph 3, line 4. Oh, fuck. All right, Legion. Everybody out. We got to go. Paperworks. It's all in order. He's got a triplicate. There's an eviction notice right here. I can't. I don't go. Paperworks, it's all in order. It's all, he's got a triplicate.

There's an eviction notice right here. I can't, I don't know. Let me, I'm going to make some phone calls. No, no, nothing they can do. I tried, I called in a favor. Trying to call Al Pacino, my lawyer. Satan. He wasn't around.

I'm a fan of man. Then I went for the juggler with the prayers. Went for the juggler? You always go for the juggler. Yeah.. Went for the juggler? You always go for the juggler. Yeah. Noah, we're coming after you, buddy. Absolutely. If there's a magician and a juggler, you always go for the juggler.

Yeah. But then you beat up the magician. Focus prayers. So we started at 9 o'clock. We hung up the phone, I think, at like 9.17, brother, on 9.11. And 20 minutes later later this is a true story you can bet this how can I bet that you all wish

what do I have to do I have to contact God to double check your sources you can double check that I said this because I'm saying it now you can play it in a recording I prayed privately right so we don't even in a recording. I prayed privately, right? So we don't even know whether or not you prayed at all.

Right. And then you're just like, yeah, well, you could double check and vet this. Yeah, well, it happened on 9-11. But that's because she was at like a fucking memorial for 9-11 all day. And old and tired and probably sick. 20 minutes later is when, and one of the things that I had prayed on that prayer was time is up for those who are corrupt because I had written that prophetic word

back in 2015, that time is up for those who are corrupt. All our leaders are senators, congressmen, all these people. And I said, Lord, I said, remove all those that are corrupt in our government and in leadership. And did that work?

Are there no more corruption in our leadership? Did that work? Did that happen? I feel like that nothing happened after you asked for that shit. I feel like after you asked for that, Michael Flynn wound up getting an appointment

by President Trump. Right. Are you fucking kidding me? I asked for all the corruption. Oh, well, fucking I'm glad you fixed that. Did you notice the mass resignations that didn't happen? Nothing fucking occurred. Nothing occurred. You're horrible.

Across this country, at every level of governments, local, state, and federal. And that was one of the things that I... God catchers corrupt. He's like, oh, man. Fuck. Some city council guy took a bunch of fucking paper home for his kids. He's got a stapler from right.

It's just like, oh, man, we just want to make pay. My little girl likes to draw. Fucking God made me. Fuck. Okay, shit. Asked with 10,000 people on the phone in agreement. I hung up the phone at 917. 20 minutes later, Hillary Clinton collapsed for the entire world.

She stumbled. She stumbled a little bit. And then she got the fuck back up. They had to get out that fucking, like, the thing, that paddle thing. Yeah, right, the defibrillators. Yeah, they had to fucking gazeet her back to life.

That's what happened. She collapsed. They had to fucking, like, they had to work on her for, like, 20 minutes like they do that chick in the abyss. Fucking bills beating on her chest. It's like, don't had to work on her for like 20 minutes like they do that chick in the abyss. Fucking bills beaten on her chest. Don't you die, Irene! Now that was prophetic. Wow. On a couple of different accounts.

One, that shows you the power and authority we have with 10,000 people in agreement, in one heart, one mind, one accord, in unity. Now we're not always Why don't you just do that all the time? Then she's still fucking ran and got more votes than the guy. Like, it's not like,

it's not like she like was like, fuck and dropped out of the race. Right. She just, you're like, like, I want to read the last paragraph. Cause it couldn't be any,

any better. The last paragraph from the story. There you go. A man speaking on behalf of 10,000 Christians just took credit for causing a 68-year-old Christian woman to stumble in order to help elect an ignorant racist buffoon who apparently slept with a porn star months after

marrying his third wife before paying her hush money so no one would question his fitness for office. Way to go, Jesus. You really nailed that one. Nailed it. Nailed it. He's going to agree on everything. That's fine. We can lovingly agree to disagree,

but we still come together for one common goal, and that is to move. Make old ladies stumble. We're just going to. You should see what they do. When the old lady with the red hat club goes out to Jenny's, they all walk in, and that fucking welcome mat slips out from underneath them.

They all break their hip. Every single one of them. I pray for you to fall. You just hear like when every one of them hits their hip, you just hear that subtle little snapping grill break of like a tiny twig. Osteoporosis is a bitch.

The kingdom of God forward, which we were doing that day but the second thing was prophetic for when she fell that was a prophetic sign that the clinton machine and all those attached to it was going to collapse she lost her shoe which means she's going to they will lose their peace now when we have what does that even mean what she lost her shoe her shoe i think when she tripped when she tripped, when she tripped, she lost her shoe. Her shoe? Her shoe?

Are you fucking kidding me? Somebody, somebody threw a shoe at George W. Bush. You remember that shit? He, they found his shoe. Found a bitch.

They did throw a shoe at him. Yeah, I remember that. He ducked that shit too. Yeah, he fucking, he totally ducked it. Matrix,

that shit was amazing. He had eight years of Obama. That shoe was on our foot, so to speak. Pun intended. It was on the other foot. Oh, my God. This is the most belabored metaphor. Holy shit.

Now the shoe is on the other foot. Well, that shoe actually came off. It's not on anyone's foot. Later, she'll put it back on her foot. You really have to kind of stretch for this one. Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness Monster, and the theory of Atlantis? If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say. This story is also from the raw

story uh psychic paid three and a half million dollars from elderly woman for exorcisms gets prison for evading u.s taxes yeah but they did make her pay some of the money back or all the money back you know like and i know that like getting people on tax evasion is a frequent tactic like when you can't get people on like the, the actual shit that people do. Yeah. Like the actual shit that people do. So this psychic is going to go to prison for 26 months.

Cause she didn't pay fucking taxes on three and a half million dollars. She stole this money from, you know, shock of shocks, an old lady. Yeah. You know, it's a fucking old lady.

And she was trying to tell this fucking old lady, she's going to cleanse her of fucking demons. And like I don't want to victim blame because I'm not victim blaming but like, like what kind of fucking story do you have to manufacture? It's like, I'm going to need another million to get rid of that other demon. And then she had like a credit card in her

account, like and just spent a bunch of money on that too. It says in the article, it says prosecutors contended Johnson employed techniques commonly used by fraudulent fortune tellers what fraudulent aren't they all fraudulent where's the real fortune teller i actually don't understand what's the difference between a psychic and a fortune teller she employed tactics frequently used by her by exactly what she is yeah fortune tellers psychic there's no difference what's the difference how is. Fortune teller, psychic, there's no difference. What's the difference?

How is a fortune teller different than a psychic? I mean, I think one of them talks to the dead and one of them looks at cards. Do all psychics talk to the dead? I don't know. I don't think so.

I think there's a specific kind of psychic. Psychicism? Yeah, there's a specific kind of psychic that only talks to... And there's others that divine out of like fucking chicken guts and coffee cards. And have you ever gone to a psychic? I have never,

no, I have gone to a psychic before. Yeah, I've gone to, it's, I, I, it's,

it's kind of funny. And like, I know like there's a part of me, it's like, I don't want to give my fucking money, you know, I don't want to get some fraudster money, but it's like,

there's like a, a kitschy sort of funny thing around it. That's, that's like, yeah, you know, and I think it's fine as long as it's, you know, just like, just like when somebody is a mentalist, right. And you know that they're, they're playing a trick on you and it makes it seem amazing when they do it, right. The mentalists, when they do it, you're like, holy shit. It's, you know, that's a, that's an amazing trick. Medalists can do that sort of thing and make it seem really, you know, a really, uh, like it's almost like it's miraculous. If they're very good, they can make it seem that way. And when you think about it, you know, it's, it's, it's, uh,

it's very similar to what these people are doing, except for they're telling you they're doing a trick, right? Right. You know, they're, they're probably employing many of the same techniques that somebody else is employing to get to know something about you, for you to open up, for you to forget the questions that got you to the point where they're guessing things about you. There's probably a lot of things that they employ that a mentalist employs. And they just sell it differently. They don't sell it as like, they don't come out and say they're lying to you. And the crazy thing is that, if we all just treated it as fun, then it would all just be,

then they could make money just being harmless, and everybody would be happy. We're just going out to have a good time. They'd make a regular, probably a regular wage doing that sort of thing. But the problem is, is it's not. There is harm. And the harm is, is that there are people who believe it, have a good time they'd make a regular probably a regular wage doing that sort of thing but the problem is is it's not there's no there is harm and the harm is is that there are people who believe it and they believe it enough to basically give up all their wealth can i ask you another

question you steal a million dollars from somebody yeah why don't you just stop there i don't know these guys always do that i've never understood. I will never understand stealing past that. It happens all the time. These guys steal and they get fucking rich and they're just like, well, I could keep stealing. Maybe it was 3.5 million in Bitcoin, though. Oh, so now it's 48 cents in Bitcoin. That's great.

You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I want the truth! You can't handle the truth right wing watch alex jones goes on profanity look at his face i know alex jones kind of goes on profanity laced rant about cnn anchors saying shithole this is this is just amazing yeah okay so i want to set the scene here i'm actually gonna play it but i want to the scene. So there's this really nerdy guy standing in front of a bunch of computers. He's not mic'd. So what we're hearing is a camera that's near him. So he's going to be a little soft in the background. Hopefully it's not going to be too soft for you not to hear it. He's a little soft. He's not being mic'd. So he doesn't have any lapel mic on or anything and they're clearly behind the scenes in you know the war room or whatever alex jones's garage you know it's like yeah in his fucking in his weird basement is it is all this the info wars is out of his basement so so he's i'm not gonna get on somebody because we used to have glorial studios in your basement so we didn't have a lot of pretenses about what that was, and we still don't. That's very true.

Like, come on. But in any case, he's in a tiny little dank weird room, and he's got a bunch of monitors, and he's talking about what the CNN people, what happened with the CNN people when they said shithole a bunch.

But Alex Jones is going to be walking in the background, also not mic'd, throughout this entire clip. Speaking of language, don't you guys think it was interesting that CNN was able to use shithole? 195?

Yeah, yeah, but if I say it, I get fined $4,000. Exactly. CNN can say shithole. Who is fining him? He's got a dot-com show. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think he's on anything, unless he's being broadcast on the radio, which I'm not sure of. I've seen him blow up many

times on his show. He curses and says crazy. When you're on the internet, you can do anything on the internet. Go on the internet. The least offensive thing is the word shithole. Nobody's ever fined us, and we've said some horrible shithole stuff. You can go on the internet and look at someone's shithole.

You can go on the internet and watch someone fuck someone's shithole. You can go on the internet and look at someone's shithole. You can go on the internet and watch someone fuck someone's shithole. You can go on the internet, look at that shithole and two girls with a cup. Shithole! And you don't fucking

betcha about it! Because you're a goddamn cunt! You're a fucking mind control fuck! Was CNN taking off? This guy's trying to talk over Alex Jones' raging in the background Trying to talk over Alex and he can't Talk over Alex

Alex is just screaming, cunt, fuck, poor bag Were they banned from Twitter for a day? I have yet to read that story Well, I don't know, did they say anything horribly racist? That gets you banned from Twitter Or when you stick your followers on somebody that gets you banned from Twitter. CNN is not going to get banned from Twitter for quoting the president.

Also, you can swear on Twitter. Yeah. Like you could just swear. So it's, it's okay. It's not, it's not against the rules.

You can swear on Twitter too. Like, that's what they don't understand. They'd like, well, they said a bad word. They should be banned. And you're like,

Oh no, you said black people weren't human. That's why they don't understand. They're like, well, they said a bad word. They should be banned. And you're like, oh, no, you said black people weren't human. That's why you got banned. Or you sicked all your shitty followers on somebody else. That's why you got banned. Right. Because you said something false to sick your shitty followers on somebody. It's not dirty, dirty curse words.

It's not curse words that do it. Right. It's being a shitty person. They'll probably age restrict this shit. And the fucking people on here will do it. It's being a shitty person. They'll probably age restrict this shit and the fucking people in here will love it. They don't care if they're sacrificing babies and pot-bellied PBPs are raping them. Wait, wait, wait.

What is a pot-bellied PBP? What is that? A pot-bellied PBP. I think you can order it, though. Peanut butter and what? What is it? A pot-bellied peanut butter and pulled pork. Is he saying pot-bellied pot-bellied pig? Because I like it. I like it.

It's fun. There's so much alliteration. It's just fun. It also could mean phantom ball pain. Pot-bellied. Go back to the clip. Let's see if either one of those makes sense. Okay, let's see.

All right, here we go. Let's rewind a little. All right. Fucking people in here will love it. They don't care if they're sacrificing babies and pot-bellied PBPs are raping them. PBPs? Pot-bellied phantom ball pain?

Or pot-bellied pot-bellied pig? I like yours better. Pot-bellied pot-bellied pigs. I have a pen. I have an apple. Potbelly pigs. I have a pen. I have an apple.

Potbelly, potbelly pigs. Potbelly, potbelly, potbelly pigs. All they care about is if I use Anglo-Saxon shit. What is... You use it? I use Anglo-Saxon shit. Somebody bring me an Anglo-Saxon poo. Someone bring me a tub of Anglo-Saxon shit. Somebody bring me an Anglo-Saxon poo. Someone bring me a tub of Anglo-Saxon shit. I will make,

I will dry this and make a wonderful wind chime. What? Just listen to your show. Justin said the end. Oh my God. You got to look at this video. You have to watch this video at 42 seconds in. This guy is just like,

they catch him sort of in a real moment, in a seconds in this guy is just like they catch him sort of in a real moment in a real moment where he's just like I'm embarrassed for Alex Jones and you've just got to see this face that he has on this look he has on his face that he's just like like and and I think what it is is he knows it's all a

joke too right you know I mean like that's what it is it's that this guy knows it's all a joke this guy knows that Alex all a joke. This guy knows that Alex Jones is not mad. This guy, Alex Jones isn't freaking out. Alex Jones is playing for the camera and this guy knows it and they caught him smiling. Yeah. Right. Either that or he's thinking

his internship got weird. Yeah. Or he's like, yeah, I don't, I'm sick of milking a bunch of Anglo-Saxons for this shit. He also said the N-word. Peter Stroke got on his shit. It also said the N-word. Peter Stroke got on there with Don Lemon and said the N-word three times.

Yeah. Yeah, and you... Yeah, I'm sure that with Don Lemon, he called Don Lemon the N-word. That's what happened. I love that these guys don't include context at all. As if, like,

the shit hole thing, it's a quote. Like, they're quoting. Yeah. They're quoting. Yeah. Exactly. Context matters.

Exactly. It absolutely matters. And with Don Lemon, who happens to be black, what happened was is somebody came on, talked about what somebody said or talked about what somebody wrote

and they said it out loud. Right. But you're so fucking stupid that you don't realize that it's important what happens before and after the word is said. Right.

It's just the word itself. Like the word itself is like the trigger. It's like a fucking red Cape to these idiots. They're all just like F Lee Bailey in the, in the, in the, in the, in the,

in the OJ thing said N word 41 times. They are allowed to do it. Not us. Well, fuck you. Who's they? Is he saying black people? I think he's saying black people.

Black people are allowed to throw. Yeah. Black people are allowed to throw around the N word. and you alex jones a super white dude you're not allowed to throw around the n-word it's kind of easy like this is super easy and here's the thing i don't resent that no i never want to use the fucking n-word yeah i don't want to throw that word around i don't resent that that's not my word yeah because i don't want to use that word because it's a fucking dehumanizing shitty shitty, mean-spirited, bigot word. Yeah. So it's never a word I want to use.

It's a word that I never, ever want to hear. Yeah. That's why I fucking use it. I don't need to use a cuss words. I got a giant lexicon, bitches. But I'm... I don't need to fucking swear, asshole. We need another shirt.

I got a giant lexicon, bitches. I love it. I love it. I love it. That's three. We're going to have a whole new merch store. I'm going to use it because you're not going to sit there

and tell me what to use. You got that? You got that? You got that? I'm not talking to our regular listeners and viewers. I'm talking about all the fucking control freaks

who want to run my life. You've already run shit in the ground and you and your political correctness can go straight to hell. Who is he even talking to? To us. Well, I don't care about running his life. I want his show to continue.

It's a fucking laugh riot. It's a delight. I want him to keep being crazy. I am interested to see him have his inevitable on-air heart attack. That's going to be funny. Like when the steroids finally fucking blow out

his fucking water pump. So we want to thank our newest patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank our newest patrons. Soy Boy Toy. Gross. Real Donald Trump. Welcome! Asshole.

Order us a Whopper, dude. Connor. Missando. Scott. Connor, Miss Sando, Scott. Okay, come on. That's Moojiboo Dog. Moojiboo Dog, Maru,

Catherine, Chester, Big Val, Damien. So last week, we had asked people what a serial killer Tinder might be, and we got a bunch of different things on Twitter and via email,

so I'm going to read some of them. Jack the Ripper, R-I-P-P-R. I like that one. Christian Mangle. Meat Grinder. That's good. BTK Ender. Or BT Kinder. Dexter.

Which is great. It's D-E-X-T-R. OK Lector. I like that one a lot. Plenty of Albert Fish is really good. Tender and Snatch.com. I think there is a Snatch.com, actually. I like Tender. Tender is great.

Tender is very funny. Meat Grinder. All of them are very funny. We got a bunch of them. I just wanted to read several of them that we got. Thanks for sending them in. They were really funny. We got a message. I don't want to mention who this is because they didn't leave their name

and they only left their email. What they said is if you have schizophrenia, your mind is going to make something up. So if there's no stories of angels, they might see aliens or something else. Which is interesting. What I wonder secondary to that is if you see something that's not there, will you manufacture evil intent? Right. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah, yeah. If the story behind the thing that you see

is a positive story. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder if it always has evil intent. We got a message from Aaron. There's a video. I love this. For Death Metal, Mary Poppins. And we're going to post it on this week's show notes.

You know, to be honest, they match up the voices with the video so well in this. I thought it was very funny. It's pretty good. We also got a music video of Alex Jones from Josh. We're going to post it on this week's show notes.

It basically took him just grunting and saying weird shit and turned it into a techno song. It's really funny. It's really good, too. We got an update from from Iran, who is the president of of the Australian Skeptics Inc. It seems that Brit, the person who was doing the legal fundraising on that GoFundMe, they reached their goal. Yeah, that's terrific because they, you know, they're exposing the nonsense of naturopaths and they deserve to be able to do that without having to worry about,

you know, having to fund a legal campaign. So that's great news. We got a bunch of messages about the Hawaii thing. One from Trevor, who said that they were waking and baking and got that message on their ballistic missiles on its way. And the message reads, ballistic missile

threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill. I can't even imagine. Whoa. We got a couple of these. Another person named Peter sent it in. Their story is more like this sort of thing

does happen once in a while. They had a sort of feel like we're sort of used to this because this sort of thing does happen once in a while. Which is crazy. And they also have they also because they're so far

out there they're used to this sort of feeling of vulnerability. Yeah, which I had never considered. Yeah. Because, I mean, they're just so close when you look at the map. I know, they're right in the corner. They're right across that bridge from Alaska. Right in the corner.

We got another message from Brandon, and Brandon said they basically spent 20 minutes on the internet freaking out and they never got a retraction from the government. That's insane. They had to go to Twitter. Yeah, well, and the reason why it didn't come out sooner, I found out, is because the Hawaiian guy forgot his Twitter password. Are you kidding me? They should have asked on Spicer. He could have tweeted it.

It's big red. Yeah, no, it's not. You know, we got a message from Chris and Chris just said that, you know, we, we helped them, uh,

get through the week with some tough, uh, tough stuff going on. So Chris, uh, we hope everything goes well for you and, and, uh,

and anything that we can do to, to ease that, you know, we're, we're happy for the chance. Yeah. Got a message from Zaid. I pronounced it zayed last time

i thought it was but it's not but zade said it rhymes with maiden raid so and zade you sent in a call to prayer i think for for trump ronald trump um and it's i can't read it i can't read it either i tried but it's i can't i that's a language I speak. I don't know how to do it. Ashu Hida An La. I can't. I can't do it. Sorry. I can't do it. I can't even hooked on phonics that shit. I can't. But Zaid,

at least we got your name right. In Iraq. Yeah, please don't be dead soon. Don't listen to our show or email us ever. Because I'm scared for you. I'm terrified for you too. I don't want to our show or email us ever because I'm scared for you I'm terrified for you too I don't want to get an email from ISIS saying I have Zaid send me your glory holes

or whatever I don't need that I would send my glory holes though I mean I would definitely send them so if ISIS ever captures you they can have all my glory holes offer that up early Zaid offer that up early that's a bargaining chip.

You can use that. We got a message from Quig, and Quig said that, I heard your trials with the crazy salt licorice candy. The trick is to put it in your mouth and let the salt dissolve, and then if you tough it out for 30 seconds, the licorice is pretty sweet.

That's like hitting yourself in the face with a hammer because it feels good when you stop though. I mean, really let's be honest. I gotta say like, I've made that pitch before, like just put it in your mouth for a little while, 30 seconds.

And then it'll be salty at first. But afterwards it'll be pretty sweet. Sweet for me. Sweet. Uh, well, um, we have, uh, hopefully Well, we have,

hopefully, like we said, we want you to come find us on Tuesday night. If you have, if you're free after the State of the Union, we will be talking maybe 10 or 15 minutes after the State of the Union ends. We'll be going live on Facebook and on live stream. We also have a special guest,

Seth Andrews, for our 400th show. And if you want to wish us a happy 400th, you can do it. Send it to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. We will collect a bunch of these, make them short, 15 seconds. That's kind of the sweet spot. But that's going to wrap it up for this week. Indeed. And

we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water,

downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards vaccine nuts shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential.

Conclusive. Doubt even this. the opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only all opinions are solely that of glory hole studios llc cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy completeness current, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you.