Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 4: Fresh Baked Popoff

Episode Date: June 15, 2011

Tracy Morgan is an idiot The Sissy Experiment Bush tax cuts fail Depak Chopra video game Faith healing parents charged with neglect Peter Popoff scams people War on drugs is an epic fail Mass graves reported by psychic Guy kills two people and writes a check to get out of jail time.

The radioactive dating of rocks, the abundance of impact craters on many worlds, the evolution of the stars, and the expansion of the universe each provides compelling and independent evidence that our universe is many billions of years old. Despite the confident assertions of revered theologians that a world so old directly contradicts the word of God, and that at any rate, information on the antiquity of the world is inaccessible except to faith, these lines of evidence as well would have to be manufactured by a deceptive and malicious deity. Unless the world is much older than the literalists in the Judeo-Christian Islamic religion suppose. The world is much older than the literalists in the Judeo-Christian Islamic religion suppose.

I don't even care if someone wants to say, you don't understand that, God did it. That doesn't even bother me. What would bother me is if you were so content in that answer that you no longer had curiosity to learn how it happened. The day you stop looking because you're content God did it, I don't need you in the lab. You're useless on the frontier of understanding the nature of the world. I'm glad whoever those folks are, there aren't that many of them, because if they dominated the world,

we'd still be in the cave. We would have never left the cave, because there are mysterious things out there and God is doing that and you don't need to know that and don't even think about it. Where would we be if their understanding of the world ruled the world?

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. See, so we're back for our fourth show at this point. I think we're officially dedicated to it. I think after three, I think we can say we're dedicated to this thing.

Yeah, I figure that's what I'm going to do with my marriages. You know, after the third one, I'll really, really be dedicated. Oh, yeah. I think like a mind is I now pronounce you trial run. Yeah. How about that? Oh, yeah, I think, like, in my mind, they just now pronounce you trial run, I think. That's how that... You're all dead! Oh, be nice!

Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay! Oh, my God, what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard. Everybody dance now! Plenty of stuff to talk about um we've got a lot of good stories for you the i think we're going to launch right into one that uh is a um a story about tracy morgan now i do watch 30 rock cecil i don't i you know i should because i think I think Tina Fey is very funny, so I should, but I never do. I actually like 30 Rock, which is a little disappointing because

I actually like Tracy Morgan's character in 30 Rock. I think he's very funny. Turns out that Tracy Morgan is not actually a decent human being of any kind, though. Well, at least we know his stand-up isn't funny. I mean, that's the obvious part about this entire story. Right. Good timing. Poor thinking, though.

Really poor thinking. During a recent performance in Nashville, Tennessee, Morgan delivered a bigoted tirade against homosexuals. I'm going to go ahead and read some of these highlights. You sent me this story that points out some of the highlights from his show. God don't make no mistakes. All this gay stuff is bullshit. A lot of people would disagree strongly.

There is no way a woman could love and have sexual desire for another woman. That's just a woman pretending because she hates a fucking man. There's no response, right? Like when comedy bombs, his comedy really fucking bombs. I am really curious as to who the audience is that's sitting there like, man, we're going to have such a good night. I know this is a two-drink minimum, but it's Tracy Morgan. It's going to be worth it. Let's go.

All right. Fucking here's my ID. Here's a bunch of money to get in. What is he saying? Why is he saying this? Right. Especially because 30 Rock, which is I think where most people would know Tracy Morgan, is an aggressively liberal show. Like, it is a really aggressively, hilariously, but it's a liberal show. Like,

there's no two ways about that. And so to have this kind of just totally anti-intellectual nonsense. Can you think of something more misogynist to say that because a woman loves another woman, it's because she really doesn't want to have sex with a dude? I've been mad at women. Cecil, have you ever been mad at a woman? Well, yeah, maybe once or twice in my life. I have been mad at a woman in my life. And it has never caused me to be like, I'm so mad at that woman, I am going to totally fuck a dude. That's not how gay works. That's never crossed my mind either.

I don't care how mad I am at something, I'm not going to have sex with the antithesis of the thing. You know what I mean? I'm not going to be like, well, you know, I'm really, really mad at my car, so I'm going to fuck this motorcycle. It doesn't make a lot of sense. But you know what this is? This is a rant about gay bullying, right? I mean, the last bit that you didn't read, he said, if my son were gay, he better come home and talk to me like a man. And not like a fag, I think is what he says,

because not like a homosexual is in brackets here. I don't think the person wanted to say like a fag in their article. And then it says, or I'd pull out a knife and stab that little nigger to death. And I mean, it says N and there's a bunch of dashes here, but I'm pretty sure that's what he said. It's the only bad N word I know. So he's making fun of the gay bullying that was going on and all the sort of uproar that happened about it. And what this really is is a case of fucking too soon, dude.

And what it might also be is a case of it's never, ever, ever not going to be too fucking soon. We live in a country now that is so fucking polarized on this issue. We live in a country now that is so fucking polarized on this issue. They can't even decide whether or not gays exist from birth or if they're fucking they learn that trait. And they also can't we can't decide whether they should get married and they're getting bullied in school. I mean, the homosexual issues in this country are huge. They're all over the fucking news media at this point. You can't you can't make a statement like this and not seem like you're taking a fucking bigoted stance.

You know, funny is funny. And this shit just ain't funny. Like, it's just stupid. Right. This can't be construed as comedy, right? Like, you listen to it and you're like, yeah, that's really just not funny. And you'd think a guy who gets paid to be funny should maybe be funny? You know, you've got to wonder about the thought process, right?

While he's sitting there, he's got pen, he's got paper, he's writing out his act, and he's maybe performing it in the mirror, and he's like, all right, it's a good act so far. It's a good act. I think I'm right on. But you know what I don't have? I don't have any misogynist, homophobic references to child murder. So if I can work that, or maybe it was his agent that suggested it. You know, we don't know.

We don't know. We're speculating, right? So maybe his agent said, good show, Tracy. Really good show. Really good show. Needs a little more homophobic, misogynist references to child murder, though. Right. If you could just talk about me stabbing your own kid, really good kid, you know, maybe that would really help kind of liven things up.

Sure. And I saw a couple of, no, this is nonsense. Tracy Morgan, the Atheist Revolution's website gives you Idiot of the Week. You know, I'll go so far. I'll give you two weeks. Yeah. You can keep it for consecutive weeks. There's a lucite plaque coming your way.

I wonder if the agent is like, you know what, Tracy, what you should do is invite a homosexual member of the audience on stage to murder. That's what you should do. Like, is there any gay people in the audience? I would like to club you to death

with my microphone stand. Could you imagine how that works, though? I got the golden ticket. I got the gold. Oh, God! It's beating me to death. This is the worst golden ticket. I got the gold. Oh, God! He's beating me to death. This is the worst golden ticket ever.

First the chocolate factory and now this. I'm never unwrapping anything again. Oh, man. I won't even peel a banana. Even homophobic slurs don't seem as hurtful if someone says, That is so decay.

This is actually kind of an unbelievably awful story from Think Progress. Anderson Cooper's 360 did a three-part series called The Sissy Boy Experiment, which looked at the effects of a government-funded study to normalize people's gender. So basically what that means is some nutjob professors decided that they had carte blanche to recommend that kids that were effeminate, boys that were effeminate, that they get beaten on a regular basis by their parents and that they'd be given blue and red poker chips for masculine versus feminine behavior. And if you accumulate too many poker chips that were feminine behavior, you get beaten.

Strangely, this did not have the results that everybody was hoping for. I cannot imagine going to see a doctor who's like, all right, here's some poker chips. You'd already be looking a little scant, right? What are you doing? Where did you get your quack license, man? Right. Okay, so if he gets too many of the red ones, you're going to have to beat him.

You're like, really? I've got to beat my kid? That's not really in my nature. No. What this is, is like, first of all, you have to be a stupid person as a parent to do this. Right. And second, you've got to be already kind of willing to beat your kids. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. Because if you're not predisposed toward giving them a beating, you're just not going to beat your kid. Like, I don't care if the doctor was like, you know, your kid's got fucking leukemia, and the only thing you got to do is beat it out of him. I'd be like, that doesn't strike me as true. No, I'm not. What? Absolutely not.

That's not how that works. That's crazy. This story is really, really sad. I read this story, and it is absolutely, it's tragic. Like, this is a four-year-old boy that they're beating with a belt, leaving welts all up and down him. 38 years old, committed suicide. So I think stories like this, I mean, I'm glad that this sort of social experimentation, I guess, I don't know what else you would call it. You know, it's 41 years old.

The conservatives talk about this idea of going back in America, going back to that time. Let's go back to a time in America that was somehow more pure or somehow a safer, better America for everybody. That time didn't exist. I don't think anybody's saying let's go back to 1970. But 1970 was more progressive than 1940. Right. Than 1950. Right. You know, I mean, this is a really sad story. Absolutely. Absolutely. And one of the things that caught my eye in this is, I'm going to quote directly from the article. It says the therapy was carried out by disgraced family research council co-founder George Reckers, whose three decade career in conservative social movement came to an end last year after reporters from the Miami New Times caught him traveling with a gay escort. Proving once again the theory that if you hate to gays so much,

you're probably to gays. Every time. Every single time, man. You're right about the doctor, too. Like, I mean, who would prescribe something? It's like, you know, your son has a stutter. So what I'm going to suggest is you douse your son in kerosene every time he stutters and light him on fire.

Like who does – nobody would do that. It doesn't make any sense. And I agree again, Tom, with your statement about progressiveness. I mean I think that as time goes on, we get more and more progressive as a nation. We start allowing things like, I don't know, interracial marriage eventually gets to be fine. Blacks and women get to vote. I mean, in our country, whereas they might not have had that opportunity or they didn't have that opportunity earlier on in the century, last century. So, you know, we get more progressive as a nation. I don't want to go

back to those times. I don't want to go back to have to redo the suffrage movement this time you know it's it's for it's for gays instead of instead of women but i don't want to go redo that stuff can't we just agree that being bigoted is bad and just fucking eradicate it can we just look at it be like you know what we really shouldn't fucking segregate a section of the population that is doing things that two consensual adults think is just fine. It's, it's, it's maddening because it's such an intrusion, you know, into the personal lives of other people. I, I, I guess I don't really care if somebody, you know, if, if you've got somebody standing on the corner and they're like, well,

you know, I think that, you know, homosexuality is wrong and it's a sin and I'm a dummy and, you know, whatever. Then I guess I have no thoughts on that other than just like, okay, that's somebody I don't respect and won't spend time with. Sure. And that's fine because they wouldn't respect me and want to spend time with me either. But, you know, the problem is that those people get jobs on school boards and they get jobs as doctors and they get jobs giving out, I don't know, government funding. And then you end up with this shit. So, you know, this idea that you hear sometimes that, well, you know, it's somebody's personal belief and, you know, why do you care what I like or don't like or hate or don't hate or, you know, because hate never

leads to anything good. That's why. Because bigotry never leads us in a positive direction. Because, like you said, segregating a part of society, there's never a time where you're like, well, that turned out well. No kidding. Right? You cannot look back in history and be like, man, remember those internment camps? Winner, winner, chicken dinner on that one. That's why we care. Right. This doesn't work. Right. and they're all hypocritical you know like all these guys are always they always turn out to be hypocrites

anyway they always turn out to be a bunch of closeted people who are filled with self-loathing i mean so it's not even honest and and look at both of these stories right tracy morgan in this story both of these have some sort of religious tie to them because I don't think that you can be a person who is a humanist or an atheist or a secularist and think homosexuality is evil. I don't think you can look at it that way. But you look at Tracy Morgan, the first thing he says is, God don't make no mistakes. And then you look at – and what are you saying in that statement? Besides calling yourself, I mean, first off, bringing attention to your supreme idiocy. Other than that, you're saying God don't make no mistakes.

You're calling homosexuals a mistake. But then you look at this other guy and yeah, you know, this is where the religious sort of, this is where the religious right sort of pulled all of its ideas from. And this is this is, again, you know, the only reason you would ever want to change somebody like this is because you're religious. There's no other rational explanation for it. That's a very interesting question. I guess my answer to that is when the heat got on, you dug yourself a hole. It's the 10th anniversary, Cecil, of the Bush tax cuts. They've been in place for 10 years. You know, a lot of times I think politicians and policies, they don't get a fair shake because they get judged, I think, very often, too frequently, before they have an opportunity to really have any momentum behind them.

Right. I think what you get a lot of times is policies that are put into place, and you've got a year, six months down the road, and it's like, well, that didn't fix the problem. It's like, well, we're steering a big ship here. Yeah. It takes some fucking time to turn. Ten years, I think, is a reasonable amount of time to see tax policy make a change.

And I think that the Bush tax cuts have made a change for the worse completely. This is a great article from Slate. The tax cuts has been a failure in every conceivable way, which I love that because it invites you to try to conceive of ways for the tax cuts to have succeeded only to have them shot down. I would disagree with that. I would say that if you're very, very wealthy, they've been a success. Absolutely. If you're top 1% of the is, is that just like we've been saying for years and years on our other podcast, Everyone's a Critic, which we've been talking about for a long time, is that the Republicans are not fiscally responsible. What they did was cut taxes for everyone but continue spending as much as any liberal has. And if you look at the military

budget over the past, you know, the Bush years, it went through the roof, waging two different wars, you know, in Asia, awful ideas, probably both. And, you know, you wind up with a ton of money that you're spending and not a lot of money that you're taking in revenue. I'm not an economist, but I know that if the income doesn't match the expense, then you're probably going to be getting some withdrawal notices from your bank, that sort of thing. But as the government, we just fucking print more money. That's what we do. That's how we solve the problem. And then we keep cutting taxes for the rich. We keep cutting print more money. That's what we do. That's how we solve the problem. And then we keep cutting taxes for the rich.

We keep cutting those and saying, you know what? You don't have to pay and big businesses don't have to pay. And the taxpayer, they're not having to pay anymore either. But at the same time, you're stuck with a ton of money that you're still spending. You're just chasing your tail at this point. I don't see it. It's like we reduce our income and increase our expenditures and then wonder why things didn't work out. Right. That's not – I mean I recognize that that's a gross oversimplification of macroeconomics as far as a country is concerned.

But I don't think that it's an inaccurate oversimplification. I think that at some point we have to just say, look, we are at war. If we're going to play war, let's pay for war. Right. If that's the thing you want to do. Now, I don't agree with it, but that's neither here nor there. If you're going to play, you've got to pay. That's how that shit works.

And this trickle-down bullshit, you know, there were a couple of attempts at, like, sort of, like, tax cuts for everyone. Here's $300. Here's your $300. Woo-hoo! Right, right. And everybody gets a check for $300 or whatever. Okay, well, I got a check for three hundred dollars or whatever okay well i got a check for three hundred dollars that makes no it just doesn't make an appreciable difference in anybody's life maybe you're really destitute and that 300 bucks gets you groceries

you desperately needed and but it's not a six month change it's not a three month difference in your life maybe it got you through a very short rough patch but for most people it was sort of like hey I got 300 bucks which I have to claim as income on my taxes next year and seems sort of bizarre and irrelevant and costs a tremendous amount of money and I didn't see jobs exploding up the fucking windows

I didn't see factories like pumping into high gear because everybody got $300 and we're spending everything on consumer goods. I read an article not too long, well, a while back, but saying that, you know, a lot of people just took that money and put it against their debts, which doesn't stimulate the economy at all. It doesn't stimulate the economy to send that to fucking Visa or MasterCard. But people are in trouble and people try to get themselves out of trouble. You know, it's like these are bad ideas. None of these were good ideas and none of these were new ideas. And they didn't work before and they didn't work now.

I think that, you know, giving these tax breaks to the wealthy did not create the jobs that they thought they were going to do. Trickle-down economics didn't work back in the 20s. It certainly isn't going to work, you know, any different now. Because people, I hear this argument all the time and it drives me crazy, like, well, a poor person's never going to hire me. Yeah, that's true. But you know what? With the break, the tax break that the rich are getting, they're not hiring new fucking people anyway. And if that's the case, then where are all the new fucking jobs at? You know, the evidence doesn't match your ideas. What people should think about is that we should actually have a cash and fucking carry government. We should have to cut down our spending, specifically cut down the military, which is $700 billion a year. Cut down some military spending. Cut some700 billion a year, cut down some

military spending, cut some other spending out, and let's increase some taxes, specifically for people that are very well off. And, you know, we can start becoming a cash and carry government if we did that, but we're not willing to do that. So speaking of things I'm not willing to do, Cecil, I am completely unwilling to purchase Deepak Chopra's newest game. This is kind of unbelievable. There's a video. We're going to have to put it on our site. We have no option.

Yeah. For those who came over to this podcast from our previous show, and for those who have just been unfortunate enough to see it, there's a movie called What the Bleep Do We Know? Turns out not much. It's probably the worst movie ever made. It could be. I think it is the worst movie ever made. It could be. I think it is the worst movie ever made.

Astoundingly foolish movie. I mean, truly staggeringly foolish movie. That said, Deepak Chopra's made a game. I think with the Xbox Kinect, I think that's what he's using. Oh, yeah. Sure, yeah. Because it looks like you use your whole body. PlayStation has something like that, too. So maybe it'll pour it over the place. I don't know.

It basically is a meditation video game, is what it looks like, to get your mind, body, and spirit all aligned and chakrad or whatever. Chakrad. You get fucking chakrad out. This looks fucking retarded. You get fucking chakran out. Like, just, this looks fucking retarded. Who sits down to play a video game to fucking meditate?

But you know what game I would play? Is if they had his head there and it was Deepak Man and it just ran around and, like, bit a bunch of fucking dots and you had to, like, chase and run away from ghosts and shit. I would play Deepak Man. What it should do is eat little brains brains because that's all this idiot does. He's basically the king of selling people shit they don't need to stop thinking about stuff. It's just bullshit. This guy is selling bullshit. And he's selling bullshit. Now it's marketed as a video game.

Like that's the thing that drives me crazy is that before there was videos and there was audio books that you could download, probably meditation music that he had, and then also his books and things like that. But now he's branching out into new media and it's like, well, let me get a video game now. And the video game looks fucking terrible. Like, as far as video games go, zero stars, sir. Your video game. Where's the boss level? Like, I need to kill games go, zero stars, sir.

Where's the boss level? Like, I need to kill somebody to shoot something and get a key and open the door. Like, I'm meditating as hard as I can. I still can't defeat the evil thoughts of rationality. Fucking Koopa Troopas are coming at me, and it doesn't even look fun. You have to meditate until scientists blow up. That's how the game works. You're just like, I must destroy thoughts.

This thing is... Why would you... I think the key in everything that you said, Cecil, is the word selling. This motherfucker is always selling something sure and because he just wants to get rich on stupid people that's the only way this game works the game is like the lowest production values of any game i've ever seen you said it looked bad it looks terrible sure it looks awful there's so much like black space like just like negative space it causes nothing to code right like okay for 87 of the screen i want nothing on it then i want an amorphous ball of light and just make the the person wiggle slightly in front of it and everything they do is going to

be positively reinforced you know because the game has no fucking point just like your fucking books just like your lectures just like your thoughts you know it's this undifferentiated new age religiosity bullshit that this guy is selling to dumbasses like the ladies on The View who are, you know, want a little white wine in the morning and some bland thoughts in the afternoon. It's nonsense. It's fucking nonsense. I saw better graphics in like 1980 on Doctor Who. Like, I mean, the graphics are terrible. The gameplay looks stupid. I mean, if you look, the thing with the Kinect is you can't look cool and play the Kinect.

And when you watch this woman play this game, you should be embarrassed about yourself. You should pretend that there's a webcam watching you and be like, you know what? I'm not going to do this. This is not something I'm going to do because it's going to be broadcast all over the internet and I'm going to become a meme looking like this when I'm moving my fucking arms like fucking little orphan Annie over there. Look ridiculous. I thought she was going to take off actually.

Yeah, she looked ridiculous. ColecoVision new age bullshit. ColecoVision. I just pray over this equipment. We speak over the PowerPoint presentations, all of the video projectors. And we say, devil, we know what you love to do in meetings like this. And we say, you will not, in Jesus' name, you will not prevent this message from going out.

No microphone problems, in Jesus' name. So, speaking of some bullshit, there's actually some good news in the faith healing front. It turns out it's not that that the good news isn't that faith healing works. You're right. Yeah, that's not. That would be a lie. The good news is that you're finally getting arrested when you give that shit a shot. So Oregon faith healing couple was

convicted in a felony case after just an hour, which leads me to believe that the evidence was somewhat overwhelming. I can't imagine how it would not be, right? Did you take your kid to the doctor? No. Did they need to go to the doctor?

Oh, yeah, definitively. Oh, my God. They were real sick. Fuck. What did you do instead? Prayed? Convicted. I mean, good.

You can't hide behind that shit anymore. It turns out faith healing is just that bullshit. It's based on faith. It doesn't work. It doesn't do anything. And now these people hopefully will go to jail because it's a felony conviction. Yeah, the couple – I'm going to read it directly from the article. It says the couple had six and a half months to seek medical attention before the state intervened, but they did not.

So, I mean, geez, six and a half months and this little girl, this poor little girl has like some sort of blood vessel growth on her eye that can cause permanent blindness. And the parents are instead praying. That's not a good fucking tactic. Okay. That's not a good idea as a parent. You're supposed to take care of that kid. And if you don't, it's neglect. And I'm glad that they're actually paying attention to something like this. And you can't hide behind it.

You can't hide behind that shield of faith anymore and be like, well, it's what I believe. Well, what you believe can injure someone else that is under your care. So now you get to go to jail for that shit. And that's how society should work. You don't have the freedom to hurt other people in this country. You have freedom to believe whatever the fuck you want. But at a certain point, if you're going to injure somebody because of your stupid beliefs, I'm sorry, but you get to go to jail for that. That's how that shit works, man. It's interesting because in Clackamas County,

two other couples from the same church were prosecuted when their kids died from untreated ailments. Fucking died. One of them died from a urinary blockage. Can you imagine how much that would hurt? And do you know how fucking treatable something like that is? Extraordinarily treatable. It just, you know, just about the only thing that won't work is fucking praying about it. Right, right.

You know, I don't understand why you wouldn't just say, hey, here's the thing. We're going to pray for you, but we're going to take you to the doctor. Right. But just, why are the two mutually exclusive? I don't, why would they ever be mutually exclusive? And I, you know, I don't claim to be a biblical scholar, but I don't think there's anything in there that says thou shalt not go to a doctor. Because fucking doctors weren't invented yet. No kidding, right?

I didn't even know what the fuck that was. Where is that? Is there a commandment that I'm missing that says that you can't take antibiotics? It doesn't even make any sense to me. It's just mean. It's just mean. It's just mean. And what do you think of your God after that? Like, your God must fucking hate you because he fucking killed your kid.

What's the rationale? Like, well, they got called home. They got called home. Yeah, not your home. Yeah. Fucking dead. You put them in the dirt, stupid. God has no place within these walls walls just like facts have no place within

organized religion. Speaking of taking advantage of the faithful, Reverend Popoff, which what a great name. He sounds like a delicious treat. This is... Like, I'm gonna eat a big plate of Popoffs. I got these cherry Popoffs. Phenomenal.

Put a little confectioner's sugar over the top. When you're finished. They just fucking melt in your mouth. He's so light and buttery. Delicious. So this was a guy who got exposed, actually, in 87 by the amazing Randy

who hid microphones to basically reveal that his bullshit divinity, nonsense, his crossing over style, I know all about you bullshit, was really just his wife feeding information into a hidden microphone. You would think that nobody would believe this guy anymore, but he's still around. He is now selling Miracle Water, and I love this, Cecil, supernatural debt elimination. I will say this about Popoff. Motherfucker knows his market. This guy is a market researcher

in a lot of ways. He knows what's going to sell and that is going to sell. He is getting, and I mean, how, this is the one time as an atheist i want to believe in hell i really want to believe that there's a hell because they're that part of me just wishes there was some sort of retribution that an asshole like this who prays off you know people that are so vulnerable so vulnerable and he is going to he charges these people like a thousand dollars a piece to get into his little fucking prayer circle meetings that he does and then he he sends out more like at the end like they've also they've paid money to get in like a lot of money to get in and then he's giving out envelopes for them to pay him more money and these people they don't they're coming

there for debt relief these are the most vulnerable and you are giving them nothing and taking money away that could go to debt relief. How do you possibly subscribe to a worldview where you owe money to a person or a company and your God intervenes on your financial behalf. Is he calling the creditors? Is he like, yes, I'd like to speak to creditor John, please. This is for Cecil.

Yeah, this is God. I just want you to erase his debt, if you wouldn't mind. Since I'm made of infinite magic, I can't do it from up here. But I need you to just type a few numbers into your computer and just erase it. And what does he offer? Like fucking eternal salvation to the people, the creditors? Be like, if you erase the debt, I'll give you eternal salvation. It's totally yours. You just got to release the debt. That's it. And they're like, wait, I thought that's why your kid died on that stick. No, no, no, no. That was just a farce. It's the debt. Yeah. His credit score is bad. Open up their account. Like, okay, Mrs, no, that was just a farce. It's the debt, yeah. His credit score is bad.

Open up their account, like, okay, Mrs. Jones, let me check your account. It's just got a laughing Jesus. Everything's been erased. It's just a laughing Jesus screen. We're getting this a lot these days. Have you been drinking Miracle Water? Oh, you have? Well, fuck, you don't owe us anything.

And your cancer is cured. You've been pissing Miracle Piss, too. I don't know if you know that, but it's great for your garden. Yeah. You know, after the miracle water sort of cycles through, it's still got a trace miracle in there. You know, you don't metabolize all the miraculin out of there. You just wish that there were some sort of law that you could prosecute him on for preying on people like this. I don't understand how there's not. I genuinely don't get that. I mean, we've got we've got all kinds of laws about false advertising. I mean,

why can't we just put this to the test? Right. Like, OK, well, you said that this was going to erase my debt and I drank your miracle water and it didn't do anything. And I mean, it's just fucking water. Right. And I still owe a bajillion dollars to all my creditors. And I mean, it was just fucking water. Right. And I still owe a bajillion dollars to all my creditors. And I put the water on my credit card. So now I'm deeper in debt. I watched all my money in miracle water. I filled my whole washing machine.

It costs so much money. I had to incur more debt, but I thought I was going to get rid of it all. So it seemed like it was a win-win. It's like a Nigerian scam, right? Right. I wonder if you could call the Miracle Water people and use your credit card to pay for it. I guarantee it. That would be awesome.

Yes, I would like the Get Out of Debt Miracle Water. Yeah. Yeah, I'll use credit for that. Visa number 6172. Right. I'll go ahead and borrow that money to purchase it. Yeah. Yeah, I'll use credit for that. Visa number 6172. Right. I'll go ahead and borrow that money to purchase it. Right, right. And how is this not like a Nigerian scam, right?

I mean, it is exactly like a Nigerian scam. It's exactly like a 419 scam. I'm offering you a thing in which you will somehow get monetary gain, but you have to give me some sort of monetary compensation in the meanwhile, and then I give you nothing. Like, how is that not the same thing? How is that not exactly the same thing? When you say nothing, I mean, you get water. Yeah. You know?

I mean, don't be mean here. You get the bottle. You get to get a fucking pamphlet from fucking pop off pop off delicious pop off you want answers i think i'm entitled you want answers i want the truth you can't handle the truth speaking of delicious cecil um actually that's a terrible segue that doesn't work at all there was an interesting study there's actually two studies recently have come out um or claims by by members of the government um that uh after a year-long investigation by senate subcommittee quote senator uh claire mccaskill it's becoming increasingly

clear that our efforts to rein in the narcotics trade in latin america especially as it relates to the government's use of contractors have largely failed um and this was right after a a commission came back and said that the global war on drugs had failed i i don't understand for whom this is a surprise i know the bush the obama administration rather and this is very disappointing yeah um has basically just said like we disagree and that's kind of the extent of their argument just like we disagree we keep doing it the war on drugs is a failure it will be a failure uh five years from now it will be a failure 25 years from now i don't think it's going to go anywhere um but i think it will continue to fail i don't think that you're ever

going to say i don't think you're ever going to clap your hands together and say, well, there you go. Now people don't want to get high. Yeah. That is not likely to ever happen. And when, I mean, being brutally honest, when the avenues to get high come from plants and common household chemicals. Yeah. They're always going to get high. and household chemicals, they're always going to get high.

And we spend tons and tons and tons of money, and lives are lost. Good people's lives are lost, and other lives are destroyed fighting narcotics trade. And it seems to me that the greater loss here is from the criminalization and the war on drugs rather than the drugs themselves. I mean, I don't think anybody's going to say like, hey, you know what's good for you? Vitamin M, have some meth. You know, that's unlikely. Yeah. I will point out, though, Tom, this article, Senator Claire McCaskill, Democrat.

So, of course course she's for legalizing drugs like all the rest of the hippies out there. Well, I want to point out Ron Paul said something recently that I thought was pretty fucking awesome. Ron Paul's one of these guys that gets my attention lots of times because he says some shit that I really agree with. He also says some shit that I really disagree with, but also says some shit that I really disagree with. But somebody asked him, I think it was Wolf Blitzer was running one of the debates between the Republicans. And Wolf Blitzer asked him, said, well, you want to legalize drugs. Why do you want to legalize drugs?

And he went through a little sort of breakdown of this, this idea that there's just no reason to stop people from doing this sort of thing. It costs us a lot of money. It's not doing anything. And he says, well, so you want to legalize heroin? And he's like, of course I want to legalize. I want to legalize everything. And he looks in the audience and he says something like, who here in the audience is going to do heroin?

You know, clap your hands. You're going to do heroin. The fucking audience is silent or whatever, you know? And the fact is, is that nobody's going to nobody's gonna be like oh well heroin's legal now fuck hook me up bro like it's not like it's not like heroin doesn't still suck it's just that it's just that the people will people will go out and do it um i think people will go out and do it but then i think that they were gonna do it anyway if they were going to do heroin if somebody's going to go out and get smoke dope they're still going to smoke some pot whether it's legal or not what I think the reason why this war is never ever ever going to work is

there's just too much fucking money to be made if it's illegal if it's illegal you can basically write your own fucking check and be like well can't buy fucking pot at the local store. So how much do I want to charge you for it? And as long as you're one of the few suppliers and you can, you know, with guns, it's pretty easy to guarantee that you're one of the few suppliers, right? You take out your competition. Suddenly when something is illegal, might as well keep doing the legal things like take out your competition by murder or intimidation. How else are you supposed to solve disputes? You can't take them to court.

Right. There's no way you can. Yeah, exactly. So you're fucked. You're basically just going to be spent. There's all this money to be made and all these illegal ways in which to get more money and you're just creating more avenues for illegality to happen. It's gotten to the point where I genuinely believe that when you think about, you know,

the problems caused by drugs in America, and America consumes more illegal drugs than any other country. So this is a huge problem here. But I don't think the problem is the actual drugs themselves. I don't think the problem is the drugs, the use of the drugs. I mean, alcohol is legal. That's not going anywhere. Alcohol fucks people's worlds up. It destroys lives every day. It kills people directly and indirectly all the time. Yet that's still legal. It's legal because we recognize that it has a

social function. It has a personal function, that it's dangerous, but a lot of things are dangerous, and we give people the ability to choose whether to use that or not. Unfortunately, it doesn't work out for some people. Some people are genetically predisposed toward alcoholism. Some people have family predispositions toward alcoholism. It's dangerous. I don't think anybody is going to pretend, anybody with a brain is going to pretend that it's a risk-free behavior. But I think a free society says, hey, not all behaviors are risk-free. People get to decide that for themselves. When you look at the dangers that drugs really pose to society, they pose these dangers, I think, because of their illegality, not because of the actual drug itself.

You know, you've got big time gang problems in America and all that shit is funded. All of that is funded by drugs. Well, if you make that legal, it cannot be funded by drugs and it just cannot be. It's not funded by hamburger patties, right? It's not funded by alcohol sales. It's not funded by cigarette sales. These are things people do. These are things people want. These are things that inebriate people. They are rough analogs.

But that's not what's funding gang violence. Exists because if I'm going to make $80,000 this year selling drugs and you come up and you steal my product, I can't call the police and be like, hey, you broke into my house and stole my shit. I have no choice. I have no choice but to physically retaliate. that has no legal means of support, you have to turn to illegal means of support in order to protect yourself, to protect your business, to protect your financial interests, to protect your safety. I don't see a lot of problems stemming from the big problems. There's individual problems, don't get me wrong. There's people whose lives get ruined by drugs, of course. But the big social problems, gangs, violence, drugs, or these things, prison populations expanding like crazy, you know, it's because the illegality of it. They've tried this with heroin, too. They've legalized heroin in a couple of countries now. Yeah.

in a couple of countries now. Yeah. And it didn't lead to a rise in heroin use. I think that's the big fear, right? The big fear is that, well, if we legalize these drugs, then everybody's going to immediately start taking them because I do everything that is legal. Yeah. I personally, I do everything that's legal.

I bungee jump out of helicopters because there's no law preventing me from doing that. I did that this morning. I don't sleep because there's no laws that say I can't stay up all night, so I've stopped sleeping. I mean, it's stupid. It's stupid. Well, yeah, I mean, it's like, it's endorphins, right?

It's like, do people go out and eat as many fucking hostess fucking ho-hos as they can shove in their mouth at one time? Do people go out? I mean, that's ridiculous to even think that. You know what i do is i i go to the shelter and i adopt dogs and i immediately put them to sleep because i fucking can't right i just i can their property fuck them i don't care you know that's stupid people don't just do everything that's legal that's silly people make choices they're already making choices

they don't also not do things that are illegal if they don't feel that there's a moral component to it. I'm randomly smelling roses in the house and... That's your grandmother. Does she have a message for me of any kind? Yeah, she's sending you roses to tell you she's there. Thank you very much. Yeah. In Texas, clearly somebody didn't get the memo about not messing with Texas.

Because they very thoroughly messed with Texas. A psychic called in a tip, sparked a massive police hunt for a grave, a mass grave, full of kids. Because, you know, there's lots of those. Yeah, sure. Where'd all those kids go? Wasn't there a school bus full of kids supposed to show up to school today? No. But a psychic gave a tip off, mass grave of kids supposed to show up to school today? No. But a psychic gave a tip off, masquerade of kids.

30 kids were supposed to be found. They found no kids. Turns out psychics are bullshit. I don't know. Really? Yeah. I know. It's a shocker.

Something of a surprise that you can't know things without any way to know them. Without evidence. Yeah. Yeah. No substance whatsoever is how the story is reported in The Guardian. It turns out to be of no substance whatsoever, probably because it was not based on any substances. Like there was no way to actually know any of this information.

What a terrible use of resources. Right. What a squ terrible use of resources. Right. What a squandering of resources. They could be prosecuting a goofy war on drugs right now. You know? They could be buying one more M-16 for the war in Asia right now. What are we doing? Yeah.

What a waste. Psychics. Here's what I think about this. And I think this is, you know, this is one of those things that comes across the news. And I was in my car, actually, when this story blew up. They were reporting it as fact. When I got in my car, I turned on the news. And they're like, more coming up this hour on the bodies that are being found in whatever.

And I was like, oh. But, you know, I turned the channel after a while. I didn't listen to the whole story. And the next day I get to work and I'm like, oh, I wonder what happened with those bodies. And I tried to search for murder and like mass murder in the news. I'm like mass murder or like serial killer in the news and nothing was coming up. And I'm like, well, I could have sworn I heard something about this yesterday. And then I go to Reddit's atheist board and there it is. It's like, oh, some jackass fucking called in basically.

I mean, what should just be a prank, right? I mean, this is a prank call. This equates to a prank call basically because nothing of substance was found. How can you possibly get away with something like this? And I know they're thinking about prosecuting this person or whatever, but I mean, what a ridiculous thing to cause this much alarm. And then you take this one step further, right, Tom? We look at this and we say, okay, well, all these people were duped by this one person. Think about the opposite side of this. And you get like the Sylvia Browns and the John Edwards and all that, those fucking, those assholes that lie to people for money. And they,

they give these people that are looking for answers, some sort of bullshit answer. And, and how awful that is too. And this should just shed more light on shit like that. Well, yeah, it's not harmless. I mean it's not harmless. These police officers were out there searching. They knocked on some guys. Can you imagine how upset you would be if the police knocked on your door and had even a suspicion that you were some

kind of a mass murder with a mass grave in your backyard that they're gonna poke around in your shit and you find out that it's a tip from a fucking psychic right from a psychic to have your your privacy invaded to be questioned to have people walking through your house, digging through your lawn, and it's because of a psychic? Because of some made-up childhood bullshit? Yeah. Like, you've got to be kidding me. You know, I will say, though, that the owner of the house kind of cracks me up a little bit. He's a little more philosophical about it.

He said, I haven't killed anyone, he told the Houston Chronicle. And I have a lot of friends, but I haven't helped anyone bury any bodies. Wink, wink. I like that he qualified that with, hey, I've got a lot of friends. Like, I'm not some weirdo loner who helps bury bodies. Although he is kind of weird

because, here I want to read from this other article that talks about when they're going to basically prosecute this woman. Because they found blood with them. When the people came in, they found blood and they had a smell. Right. So that's what initially caused it. The lady calls in a tip and then these these officers go out to this place and they see blood and there's a smell. And there's rational explanations for both.

But they're both a little fucking odd. And I want to read this sentence. The blood was from an injury at the residence a few weeks earlier when an AWOL soldier tried to kill himself. And the odor was from a malfunctioning deep freeze full of pork products and maggots, officials said. Okay, so maybe this guy is part of like the cast of Seven at this point. You know? Like, you hear something like that, you're like, that is really, really odd. But, you

know, it's just a coincidence that they get this tip, and then they show up at the place, and it's like, oh, there's blood, and then it smells weird. Like, well, the guy's just a real fucking awful, like, home, you know, he doesn't keep a very clean home. He doesn't keep a very clean home, He doesn't keep a very clean home. He's got rotting pork and maggots.

They're here. Mostly because I wanted to use that little stinger we just used. I did poke around looking for the latest UFO news and videos. Turns out that there's not a lot of new news coming out. But most of the stories I found were kind of old or just, I saw a UFO. Most of the stories I found were kind of old or just, I saw a UFO. What they did find was a demon face on Mars. I know everybody's seen the human face on Mars.

I think that's been pretty thoroughly debunked. I think much harder to debunk is the demon face. We'll post this picture, I think, on our website because it looks real. Oh, yeah. I think this looks pretty real to me. It's a demon face. We'll post this picture, I think, on our website. It looks real. I think this looks pretty real to me. It's a demon face. It looks basically like a demon face. If you zoom in on it, it looks like a fuzzier demon

face. Actually, when you zoom out, it looks like a fuzzy nothing. It looks like a pixelated picture of my cat run through a Photoshop filter is what it looks like a fuzzy nothing it looks like it looks like a pixelated picture of my cat run through a photoshop filter is what it looks like it's probably no i'm just guessing here a photoshopped image of a cat i don't i don't know this for sure this is such bullshit who believes this like okay we've talked about how you know ufos that's not fucking. Who believes this stuff? Like, okay, we've talked about how, you know, UFOs, that's not fucking likely. But this stuff is awesome.

I love when they conflate UFOs with religiosity at the same time. Oh, yeah, that's awesome, yeah. That's like the double whammy of stupid. That stuff is fantastic. What would a demon be doing putting his face up there? Wouldn't you put your face on mount rushmore wouldn't you be like hey wasn't george washington up there now it's just like a cackling beelzebub like wouldn't that be a better prank this prank seems like so much work for nothing

unless maybe like mars is like home to the demons. Maybe this is hell. Maybe Mars is hell. Oh, yeah. Maybe when you die. Okay, I think I got it now. When you die, your spirit goes to Mars. It takes a long time to get there. It does. Even if the speed, you know, if you're going pretty fast, like as fast as human craft can travel, it'll probably take a couple months.

Yeah, it's, I mean, but it's a spirit, so it goes, you know, it goes pretty quick. Not the speed of light, because that would be impossible. Don't be ridiculous. Yeah. You know, but it goes, still, it goes pretty spirit, so it goes pretty quick. Not the speed of light, because that would be impossible. Don't be ridiculous. Yeah. But still, it goes pretty fast. There's no speed limits in space. And when you get there, you're scared because there's demon faces in the rocks.

Right. You do have to wander the entire fucking planet and then view it from hundreds of miles up, Photoshopped. For it to actually scare you? Yeah. You kind of have to squint a little bit and be like uh sort of vaguely possibly and then like this demon face is like clearly wearing an eye patch yeah oh yeah it's a pirate demon so yarr we be demons you know like what how does that work like the demon hurt his eye like where do you go as a demon? Like, you go to the eye doctor? Like, the demon eye doctor? Like, I think I scratched me cornea. You're a fake magic creature.

How can you have an eye patch? Well, those pitchforks they carry are very pointy, and they're dangerous. They're like lawn jarts, but they have three points. Oh, those jarts are dangerous. I was going to William Tell with my brother with those darts. Okay. What I want to know about the demon face is, okay, so I'm going to follow the logic here. God wants to keep himself a mystery so only the faithful eventually believe in him, right?

But if you're a demon, you're kind of cool with that because you want to make sure that people don't believe in god like you're like okay look i want to make sure that i get as many souls here as i can so i'm gonna make sure nobody believes in god so why don't you why would you show your face why would you bother to show your face then why would you be like hey you know what i want everybody i know not to believe in god so i'm just going to show my face i'm going to show people that i exist no kidding right like the less you do the better it's the best job there should never be a demon face ever they should never act in any way to give up their you know they they don't ever want to be seen as like giving themselves up it's a It's the best job ever.

You get hired. You're like, what do I have to do? Nothing. Really? Yep. Okay, great. You get to sit in a Barco lounger and eat fucking Fritos. Like that's your whole job.

Oh, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled. Oh, man. Listen to me. I'm speaking. When you hear I ask questions, you answer them. Unless I'm looking at you for an answer, do not speak. Do we understand each other? It turns out, Cecil, you can just, if you get in trouble,

now this might come as a surprise to people that are not of great means, but if you get in trouble, you can just buy your way out of it. Totally. At least in Florida, in Broward County, trouble, you can just buy your way out of it. Totally. At least in Florida, in Broward County, Florida, you can. Some kid from Barrington Hills. By the way, there's a Barrington here in Illinois. Is that just like a name that you name a rich town? I think he is from – there's something about Illinois in the article later on.

It says, Illinois officials are working to have Levin returned here, his home state, to face charges of violating in terms of his parole when he took one of his trips to Florida, running over two men at more than 100 miles per hour in a $120,000 Porsche 911 Turbo. When you say it like that, it sounds bad. I like how they throw the price of the vehicle in there. They're just like, he was going 110 miles an hour in his $120,000 Porsche. Well, that's because it's the tragedy here, isn't it? The two men died.

It's that the $120,000 car was probably damaged. Probably severely damaged. 100 miles an hour? What kind of jackass does this anyway? He's 36. I know. That's the thing.

Even the editorial calls him a suburban brat. He's older than I am. He's a 36-year-old man. What 36-year-old man is drag racing? Who do you even... I couldn't get into drag... If I wanted to drag race right now in my Nissan Versa... First off, it'd be a really long race.

It would take a while. It would take at least nine seconds to get to 60. If I wanted to drag race right now in my little hatchback Nissan, I couldn't do it. There's nobody to drag race with. I don't know drag racers because I'm a 33-year-old man. I don't know. I think it's because you own a Nissan for some more than you're a 33-year-old man. But let's talk about the implications of this story though because I think that the editorial, while it's snarky and it's trying to be insulting to this guy, which I think he deserves every fucking bit of.

I think there really is two standards of justice in this country. I mean look at what fucking happened to Bernie Madoff before he went to trial. If you're rich in this country, you get off with house arrest more often than not. And this guy basically has to serve two years of house arrest. You look at Martha Stewart. Look at all these people that were fucking – that are really rich people. They wind up getting house arrest. Fucking Roman Polanski when they were going to fucking put him up in his fucking – his Swiss chalet before they fucking extradited him over here, which they never did.

Like fucking what the fuck? Like, just because you're rich doesn't mean you shouldn't go to fucking pound me in the ass prison when you do something that deserves pound me in the ass prison. Like maybe running over two people at 100 miles an hour because you're fucking around. Maybe widowing two women and leaving six kids fatherless. Is that the sort of thing you would suggest deserves a prison sentence? All this guy had to do was write a check. He's going to get he could have been sentenced to 45 years in prison.

He didn't just hit them. He also ran from the cops. I'm just going to say this. if you're like a poor black person in america and you run from the cops oh god you're going to prison you're gonna go to prison prison before but but after if there's no cameras around you're probably gonna get a whooping first yeah you're also gonna get the shit kicked out of you right this guy smushes two people with his car. Then he flees from the cops. And what's he got to do? He's got to write a check.

You know, I don't care if it bankrupted him. Most people become bankrupted by prison. Right. So, and I think it's very unlikely that he wrote checks big enough to bankrupt him. Even if he did, even if he wrote checks that were the entirety of his estate. Okay.

Who cares? The other injustice here is that those checks were to settle a civil looking at this, those checks also were to settle a civil wrong death suit. So now they can't even sue him. So he writes one check. He solves his criminal problem and his civil problem. Because, you know, a judgment couldn't be for any amount. The check that he writes is going to be for what he's got on hand. The judgment could be for an amount that will cripple him for the rest of his life financially.

At least that's some kind of ongoing punishment. This guy's got probation. Yeah, house arrest. And here's a guy who has, it says Levin had already had more than 50 moving violations, moving traffic violations. Are you fucking kidding me? How do you have a license and have 50 fucking moving violations? You can have like fucking four and then you don't get a license anymore. You obviously can't control that vehicle. You have no idea what the fuck you're doing. Stop fucking driving. Because when you don't get a moving violation for doing

something that's only a little bit out of the fucking, out of the realms of the law, you're getting moving violations for going excessive speeds, for blowing lights, for probably ramming into people, maybe driving drunk. Like all of these things are utterly dangerous. And you're letting somebody with 50 of these things have a license? How the fuck does that work? I'm reminded of the Roman Polanski situation and that there were a lot of people during that time who said, you know, hey, the victim doesn't want to pursue this, so we shouldn't pursue this. This is why victims should not be in charge of retribution and justice.

Because here the victims, clearly, their husbands were just murdered. And that's murder. It's murder. Their husbands were just murdered. Their kids have been made fatherless. They need a money now. So, of course, they're going to say if I can get a big money, it doesn't solve the problem, but at least it fixes some practical concerns that I have. Yeah. This is why a system of justice cannot work like this, because what's going to happen tomorrow? This guy has a history.

In Illinois, this same guy fled from the police, injured a police officer in a high-speed chase in 2006. He also injured two motorists. I'm guessing he bought his way out of that too because here we are five years later. He's still got a license. He's down in Florida. He runs over two people, solves the problem by writing a check. It wouldn't surprise me if in a few years he wrote another check. Yeah.

He's got a deep checkbook. And one of the things that I don't understand, and maybe a lawyer or anybody who's listening, who's a lawyer that might be able to, to, to fix this for me, I am an avid judge Judy watcher. And, uh, when I watched judge Judy, I know people are snickering to themselves right now. Um, and that's fine. I it's cool. I know people watch desperate housewives and other things. I watch Judge Judy for Entertainment, although in this case, it actually is a little bit of legal expertise, which which came from the show. If on her show, she always says, if you lose, if you plead guilty or if you are found guilty in a in a criminal case, then you automatically lose the civil case is what she says all the time. She's she she always and I don't know if that's just how she runs her arbitration process

or if that's an actual way in which the law works. But if that's the case, if that let's just presume that that that is the case, that if you lose a criminal case and you plead guilty or you are found guilty in a criminal case, you automatically lose your civil case. Then I – you should have just fucking waited because then you're going to get this civil death – civil wrongful death suit in the civil court. You're going to get it because they're – the fucking guy is guilty. Yeah, I think the reason is the standards of justice, right? Because it's beyond all reasonable doubt for a criminal case, but the standard in a civil case is less.

Yeah. So you lose – yeah. So that – I mean this is – this guy solved two birds with one stone, one big check. He got out of it because he could have – I think he probably could have gotten good amount of jail time and fucking had to pay a lot of fucking money too. But he got out of it. So, hey, there you go. Please hang up and try again. So we did get some voicemail, Cecil.

We got a voicemail from John that was not furious and sputtering like we would expect, but was actually some sort of praise. We'll go ahead and we'll play that. And then I think I want to take a page out of the Everyone's a Critic, our old show. I want to take a page out of that book and read the Google Voice translation because I think it's pretty awesome. Those are always worthwhile. Here is John's actual voicemail. Hey, Cecil. It's your old pal, John.

I just wanted to let you know I love all your shows. I think you guys are doing a real good job. I wait eagerly for new episodes all the time. I wanted to ask you, you got the show on movies, and you got this one with the world events and news, and then you got the MMA one. I was wondering if you guys are ever going to do any kind of music one. I know you guys used to make fun of the songs and stuff when you first started.

Everyone's a critic, and I actually like that part. Anyway, hope to hear some new episodes soon. And I'll talk to you later. And here's what Google Voice believes that he said. Hey, Steve Phillips, your old pal Job. I just want to let you know. That's why I wanted to read it. It's the best part of that entire email.

That's why I wanted to read it. I'd love all your show or thank you guys. You're doing a really good job. I, weighty relief for new episodes all the time, wanted to ask you. You got the show on movies, and no, and you got this one with the world and some news, and then you got the... And I'm a one. I was wondering if you guys are going to do any kind of music on. I know you guys used to make fun of the songs and stuff when you first started Everyone's the Critic.

I actually like that part. Anyway, hope to hear from you. Have slowed, so I'll talk to you later. So it was nice of Job to leave us a message. Y'all be listening to Everyone's the Critic. Stop. I know with the boils and everything, it can be difficult to find the time to listen to our podcasts. As far as your real voicemail goes, John, I don't know that Tom and I are – we're certainly qualified to make fun of music.

And I think we did in our old podcast and the other podcast that we do still. But in the old segment that we used to do, the critical reinterpretation, Tom, if you're unfamiliar with the other podcasts, what we used to do is we used to – Tom used to read song lyrics that we thought were particularly funny or just absurd and we would just laugh at them. But I don't know that I know enough about music to actually do a podcast on music. Tom, I don't know. You're not a musician either. Oh, I don't know anything about music at all. No, I would be terrible at this.

I mean, we're already bad at these. I mean, I appreciate it, but that's a terrible idea. You don't want to hear my thoughts on music. I mean, like my thoughts are like, well, I heard that. I like this. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think that that's in our future, John, although I'm sure that there's plenty of people out there that have some really great music podcasts. And you guys can always comment on our blog. I know we haven't gotten a lot of comments yet. We haven't gotten a lot of emails yet. We haven't really gotten a lot of feedback from the audience.

So if you want to comment on our blog, you know, heck, you guys could share podcasts with other music podcasts. If you guys want to talk about music podcasts, put them in the comments section on our blog located at dissonance-podcast at blogspot.com. Just to get some sort of conversation going, we'd love to have something happen on that page. It feels like we're getting some listeners. It feels like we're reaching out, but we're not hearing any feedback back. So if you're listening, It feels like we're reaching out, but we're not hearing any feedback back. So if you're listening, I know that we'd love to plug the show in other places, stumble it, put it on Reddit, maybe even talk about it on Twitter. But also comment on our blog, send us email, leave us voicemail so you can contact us and talk to us. Send us stories.

We'll talk about them. Yeah, there's a lot of ways you can contact us. There's our Facebook page. You can like us on Facebook. You can always send us an email, dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. You can call us at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. So there's no lack of ways for you to get in touch with us and give us a hard time and bust our chops about everything that we do and most of the things that we say we also got an email, we will read your emails

if you send us them and they're not inane we'll probably read it or at least refer to it or maybe thank you for it in that vein we got an email from Robbie his email says, you've done it guys this past episode is your Ulysses, you've done it, guys. This past episode is your Ulysses, your gravity's rainbow, your infinite jest. Rob, I know you. I'm pretty sure you've not read any of those.

Beautiful. Keep up the good work. I passed this on. I passed on this cast to a couple of coworkers today. One said it is really good. I'm over here laughing my ass off. I noticed he didn't say what the other one said. Yeah, the other one beat him about the head and shoulder.

It was hard to hear him through the vomiting. Right. It was just this retching that came from his desk. I couldn't understand what was going on. One thing I would say too is go on iTunes and subscribe.

We'd love it if you could subscribe through iTunes. It helps us raise our ranking in iTunes. We're currently 160th on the news and events page for podcasts. That's out of 162. That's out of all the podcasts in the world, 162. Actually, it's only the ones that are – I think they're probably featuring today. We probably just got lucky. But if you could subscribe through iTunes on every single computer you use, maybe we can raise our ranking. It would just be nice to reach out to some more people.

We know we have a niche audience that is probably skeptic and atheist. Those two go pretty hand in hand. Liberal sometimes falls into there too. So you have a pretty niche audience, but we'd like to reach out to more people. So, you know, retweet us, do things like that and just help us out, help us spread the word of the show a little bit. Any little bit helps. So I think that wraps it up for us this time. We're going to leave you, as always, with the skeptic's creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative,

acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues Temples, dragons, giant worms Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers Witches, wizards, vaccine nuts Shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy Double speak stigmata, nonsense

Expose your sides Thrust your hands Bloody, evidential, conclusive Doubt even this Thrust your hands, bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. We'll be right back. Thank you.