Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 403: Cornerwich

Episode Date: March 5, 2018

Stories from the week  

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Recording live from Gloryhole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 403 of Cognitive Dissonance. It's nice to be back at the glory hole. It is nice. We took a little time off. Yeah. So both of us

took a little vacation, a little travel. We banked a show or two here and now we're back in the glory hole. We got some big guests coming up. We're going to try to record with them this Sunday. So maybe next week we'll have a show or two here, and now we're back in the glory hole. Yeah. We've got some big guests coming up. We're going to try to record with them this Sunday. So maybe next week we'll have a guest on the show, which will be fun. So yeah, we've got some good stuff coming up. Indeed.

So one of the things we've got coming up is amazing. It's from the Daily Beast. And this is a story about Alex Jones. And here, I want to preface this story with saying this story is just a series of allegations. Right. Nothing has been proven. Absolutely. But they are hilarious allegations.

And we are covering them not because of anything other than it is hilarious. Yeah, exactly. And it is Alex Jones. And I'm going to be perfectly honest. I sort of hope these things, this is a terrible thing to say. I sort of hope these things are true so that Alex Jones gets burned by them. Right? I don't want them to be true in the sense that I don't want somebody to be

bullied or harassed. So please don't misunderstand that. I want them to be true in this sort of generalized, abstract way that I want Alex Jones to suffer poor outcomes. Right? Although, I don't know, man,

because then what would happen if there's no more InfoWars? What if they shut down his garage? Somebody's going to take over the mantle of his garage. The next person buys it and they blow the dust off it. Somebody else has one of his clickers.

He just opens the door. My green screen is moving. Great. So funny. It's like fucking National Treasure. Somebody finds InfoWars. Somebody slides down the pole into the center of InfoWars

into the Illuminati. I had to read the teleprompter with these seer stones. I read the teleprompter with my face in this hat that's what i do all right so we're gonna read uh this piece from the daily mail um and so the nice thing is i'll only have to read the headline yeah and then the 43 sub headlines underneath exactly exclusive uh not actually exclusive because you read this now at the Daily Beast as well as Daily Mail. As long as it's daily. They did all link

back to this though. So the Daily Mail, they broke the story. They broke the story. The hard-hitting journalists over at the Daily Mail broke this story. Fired InfoWars staffers at war with Alex Jones. One claiming he was teased as the site's

quote, resident Jew. You need one? Why is that? I don't get it. He's our token Jew. It's a resident Jew. At least he gets to pay the resident rates and not the non-resident. That's like 40%. He just has to wear the star on his clothes.

There were a lot of residents at DeKalb. It was a residential program. It was like a ghettoization program. Hey, guess where you're a lot of residents at DeKalb. They were all, it was a residential program. Yeah. It was like a ghetto is Asian program. Hey, guess where you're a resident of now. Oh no.

That's that's all right. Yeah. This guy over here with the SS, he's your showers. Resident Jew. Well, African-American worker says she was quote mocked for her skin tone. Why else would she be mocked? I mean, come on. That is said African-American workers says she was quote mocked for her skin tone. Why else would she be mocked?

I mean, come on. That it said African-American, she's going to be mocked for something. What could it be? What could it possibly be? And Jones grabbed her behind. Oh,

nice. So two former info wars, staffers have filed complaints to the equal employment opportunity commission against the site's founder, Alex Jones, Rob Jacobson, who's Jewish, alleges Jones bullied, ridiculed, and humiliated him.

Rob Jacobson, a Jew. Well, maybe if you would have let everybody know that he was a Jew. Ira, I were center. Jones joked with staff who called Jacobson the Jewish individual. Wait, why is that? The Jewish individual isn't Ben Affleck in that. Hold on a minute. He already controls the media. So you wonder like after he's fired.

Yeah. What do they do? Yeah. I mean, didn't this guy hire Alex Jones? You think you just call all of his evil jukeball. Exactly. Just call Weinstein on the phone. Did Alex Jones have to sleep with Weinstein? you think he'd just call all of his evil juke-a-ball and get him fired Weinstein on the phone

did Alex Jones have to sleep with Weinstein he didn't have to it was strange how much he volunteered for that they both had their shirts off he showed up with a casting couch and a U-Haul outside I think that when you say the Jewish individual it's like specifically mispronouncing

somebody you're just being a dick for no reason I guess why refer to their Judaism when you say the Jewish individual, it's like specifically mispronouncing somebody. You know what I mean? You're just being a dick for no reason. Probably. Like, I guess, why refer to their Judaism? Exactly. Unless you were like, hey, it's fucking Hanukkah. Oh, yeah. You're the Jewish individual when he thinks about shutting down.

Okay, that's fair. In context, maybe it'll work, Tom. Right. Sure. Or like, hey, somebody didn't throw in. That's a bad thing, it turns Right. Sure. Or like, but if that's how, if that was his name played at the desk, then that's a bad thing it turns out. Like, I can see like if it was like,

hey, we all went out to lunch and somebody didn't put in their fair share, it was probably the Jewish individual. That would be a way where that would not be okay. For example.

And Eli's like, I just ordered a potato lachi. I wasn't going to pay as much as you guys. We're going splitsies. We're going splitsies! We're going splitsies! They also refer to him as the resident Jew.

And they shouted, this is my favorite time, they shouted his name's Jacobson. They shouted Jacobson across the office. Maybe they just had like a speech impediment. Maybe. No, that's fine. Let's give everybody on his staff the benefit of the doubt. Jacobson also claimed that Jones called him

Beefcake, a homophobic slur. Called him Beefcake? I feel like if somebody called me Beefcake, I would just say thank you. I'd just own it. Right? I'd be like, hey, Beefcake, what's up? Taking my shirt off, wearing this bow tie. That's what I was going to say. That's when the next day you show up to work you got like a leopard thong and a bow tie

and you're just like, ah, and just like, I got a bow on with leopard print tight pants. Let me tell you something. There is nothing more vomit inducing than thinking of me in leopard tight pants. Everybody just lost their lunch. Oh, my God. Nothing more vomit inducing. We're still reading subheadings. It's just a little less than me taking my shirt off.

Don't talk like that. You're leaving your shirt on. Yeah, I know. I leave it on all the time. I shower with it. Are you kidding me? It's a requirement for us to record the show that you wear two shirts at all times. Yeah, just in case.

It's a minimum. Yeah, in case one of them blows off or something. Yeah, God, it's disgusting. A second ex-employee claims she suffered, quote, harassment and discrimination at the hands of Jones and other senior managers at Infowars based on her race. Former production assistant Ashley Beckford says she was subjected to sexual harassment and racial slurs by her colleagues and upper management. Jesus, they didn't stop at the lower management. That's where it gets like middle management. You're like, all right, fine. You can grab a titty. gets like middle management. You're like, all right, fine.

You can grab a titty. You're middle man. You're like, you have a shit life. You're in middle management. Just here. I'll put it in your hand. It's fine. It's not even weird.

It's just, just don't rub the nipple too hard. She claims Jones. Okay. It's a little, it's a little weird. That's a little weird. She claims Jones groped her quote, but yeah. End quote. Why is, but I don't know. It's but something we need to not believe. that's a little weird uh she claims jones groped her quote butt yeah end quote why is butting is but something we need to not believe oh it was that your butt yeah like yes it's where my legs

meet my back everybody's got it that's like the i got a cleaver in the i don't know what the fuck uh she claims jones grabbed her butt during a side hug. A quote. Side hug. I love side hug. I love the idea that Jones is walking up to people, giving them side hugs. I just think that's the best. I think that is genuinely the best.

And then it says, pretending to feel sympathy. They gave a side hug while pretending to feel sympathy over an incident and asked, who wouldn't want to have a black woman? I don't know if that's true, Tom? I don't know if that's true, Tom. I don't know if it's true, but it's all hilarious. It's very funny. I like the idea that Alex Jones is giving. I just see him crushing people on the side. I go, I broke another

one. They just drop lifeless to the ground. All these people stuffed in his armpit. All screaming from inside. They're like the souls in it, just spinning around in a cavern underground. There's some great lines in here, too. It says, in a series of allegations, Beckford, who is an African-American,

says she was mocked for her skin tone called coon by a senior manager. When did he go back in time to get that? Right. Who uses that word anymore? When was the last time you heard that? I've only ever read that. Yeah, right. In old timey books.

Exactly. Called racial slurs from the nether times. Are you kidding me? Also called Mark Twain. I know, right? They were, they actually had this sail down the river experience that they did as part of a team building exercise to paint a fence their guide is oh jim it's blank jim oh my god the lady added alex often spent his time shirtless and endlessly leering

with or without a shirt at female guests and employees while creating a disgusting hostile environment any environment that alex jones enters into is a disgusting hostile environment. I love the idea. Just walking around work, lounging around with his shirt off. Just my chest is business casual. Oh man. My shirt is chafing me.

It's got like a tie shaped into his hair and the front. Now my pants are chafing me too. My pubic hair is chafing me. Would you please bring me a hot cup of sex? Is there any way you could wax me? This also kind of

cracks me up. It says, Beckford also claims she was intimidated by the constant display of guns in the InfoWars office. Oh, I wonder why that would be intimidating. Look, unless you're a gun shop. You know what they should have done is put one of those little stickers on the door.

Like the no gun sticker. That would work. So you can't bring a gun into Alex's garage. Might be his basement. I don't remember. That is true. Yeah. This is just it's so funny. And the thing is, like you're saying, you know, I'm not laughing at these people.

Like, if it did happen to these people, I think it's bad to be in this situation. I just think, I do think it's funny that it's Alex Jones. It's almost like, you know, there's moments where you're just like you knew where you were working right like you know like you're gonna of course you're gonna run into guns there

you know what I mean now the shirtless thing I gotta admit nobody should expect nobody unless you're working at a strip club or like a shirt off all the time it's like not expected it's like working for Putin and expecting him to wear a shirt like if you work for Vladimir Putin and he fucking comes to work naked riding a polar bear you're

like oh it's tuesday well that's it's how he came to work that's how he was it's fucking this is alex jones have you ever seen this show do you think he's well this is the job you applied for i don't think he's well he's not not well. He's a weird wackadoo dude. I think he's swell, but I don't think he's well. He's not swole. Can you imagine working for this guy? What kind of a bizarre, surreal fucking experience would it be

to wake up in the morning and fucking rub the sleep out of your eyes and be like, I gotta go work for Alex fucking Jones. You'd be like working at fucking Willy Wonka's place. Right? Where he's just like, he's just having people kill Dalton. You're like, oh, I got to teach those squirrels to do that extravagant choreography dance thing. By the way, in this article, if you want to read Alex Jones' rebuttal to this, he writes,

there's a big bunch of quotes where he keeps saying it's absolutely ridiculous. He's like, I'm not, this has never happened to me, blah, blah, blah. I love that he wishes, I do say, like, I like his rebuttal in the sense that he wishes Rob well in his career as a fiction writer. I think that's a really funny thing to say if you're going to rebut somebody's claim. I think so, too. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. Oh, Ramana, Shanda Karaba. Look, we're going to be able to see that. Can you get us?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I'm high on believing Alright, this story is from Right Wing Watch Prophets gather at Trump's Washington Hotel To unleash angel armies On his deep state enemies I have questions, hold on, hold on, hold on I have some questions Why were they at his hotel To unleash the angels on his enemies Why would his enemies

Be at his hotel Oh, yeah, I think angels just go where you tell them. Well then why not stand outside of like, well, they can just travel there instantly. They're magic. Then why don't you just have this at like Arby's? Like,

why did you have to go to his hotel? You could have done it at the public library. That's what I mean. Like we rented a room at the public library. All I needed was my card. It's like, we went to your house to get the demons out of your neighbor's house. Well, go to my neighbor's house.

No, we're kidding. None of these people have a library card. All right. So this is, the best part about this is that you've just got to see some of this video, folks. Some of this video is just fun to watch. I was reading this book by George Otis Jr., The Last of the Giants. What is he doing? What is he doing?

So he's rocking back and forth as if he were like an MC in a rap band. He looks like, you know, those like those birds that look like they're drinking the little, the little drinky bird. You know what I'm talking about? The little drinky bird thing. He does.

He looks like a drinky bird. It's like, like the way he's rocking back and forth. Listen to the piano and watch how out of rhythm he is. He is white. Look how white he is. That is true. He's more red. He is more red. And it was about how God was removing the

leaders of Russia one after another after another until Gorbachev comes. God's just a hit man. He's getting envelopes like I got to kill another leader of Russia. I love that it's God and God's just a hit man he's just he's getting he's getting envelopes like I gotta kill another leader of Russia I love that it's God

and God's just like well I can't just put Gorbachev in I gotta I gotta successively eliminate a series of leaders that will rise to power

and then have power then I have to let them have it for a little while and then I knock them back down and then wait for the other one it's not Gorbachev

oh yeah I gotta go back in and then just rip this fucking God there's channels he made him matter there's channels. He made it matter. There's channels you got to go through. Well, I can't influence their elections.

What am I, Russian? It's called due process. Thank you very much. Crazy. And then the wall falls down. He said it's one of the clearest examples of Daniel chapter two.

Chapter two. Chapter two. 20 through 22. A lot of twos in there. 22, 22, 22, 22, 22, 22. He changes times and seasons. He raises up kings. He brings them down.

He knows what's in the light. The darkness is light to him. He knows if you've been good or bad. He's got those awesome glasses on. God is the guy in Science Slam. The you fuck me guy where he's got the thing on and he's searching around the room. He's got night vision goggles and he's reaching for Jodie Foster. Hey, y'all, get on over. Don't you hurt my dog.

Come on. It's the Daniel anointing to shift kings and rulers. And when I read that that morning, I was going to the prayer. I felt I was to bring that book, the last of the giants, and read it to our team and declare over them. Why would you bring that to them and read it to them? What, they forget God was omnipotent? Like, do people forget that shit i i feel like you don't have to bring a book like first of all the bible's your book like you

just be like read daniel 222 like just it's like i have to hold the whole book about 222 this is exhausting i also love that all these times these people are like and i had to remind these people that god was omnipotent. Well, fucking everybody knows that, right? Isn't he your God? Like, you should know it ahead of time. You don't have to go to your fucking prayer team and tell them, hey guys, I don't know if you knew this, but God is really powerful. These are people on a prayer

team. Are you kidding? These are the people that know this shit. Because they wake up and go to prayer team time or whatever the fuck it's called. They're their prayer jerseys on. They're doing like prayer scrimmage. Just like trying to get their prayer selves into shape. We needed to believe God

for the judges to be removed. To resign or reform. Or just get really old. The judges will get really old. Naturally age. And actually the only judge judge that resigned, resigned by dying. And he was one of yours. He was one of your judges.

He did tap out. But I'm like, I know. It was one of your judges. That's the only thing that's happened so far. For a long time, it's been the same count on the Supreme Court. It's been five for them. Gorsuch changed nothing. Yeah.

He replaced Alito. He replaced. Nothing changed. And I came and delivered that word. My friend who's been a prophet to me for 35 years, Chris Berglin, at the end of it said, Lou, I had a dream last night. And in it, I came in your beard. I want to get gay married to you, Lou. Lou, I came in your beard. I want to get

gay married to you, Lou. Lou, I have that dream a lot. I want to say, like, it's the only dream I ever remember, actually. Lou, I love you. Lou, in that dream, you comb out your beard and it becomes a sundae? Is that weird? Is that weird?

It's a delicious sundae. I love, I love these guys. Like they have covered. These are grown ass men. They're like, let me tell you about my dream I had last night.

Cause I'm a 12 year old girl at a slumber party. Are you kidding me? You don't want to hear about your dreams. Nobody ever wants to hear about your dreams. Oh, I had the weirdest dream. Kill yourself. Don't ever to hear about your dreams oh i had the weirdest dream kill yourself don't ever tell me about your i the craziest dream literally nobody cares that when your brain randomly fired garbage into your mind and you woke up and just this time you didn't forget it

now i have to be saddled with your fucking quasi creative, non-imaginative, brain firing, random bullshit. Shut the fuck up with that shit. Big slam on telling Tom dreams out of nowhere. My God, guys, send in your dreams. Fuck your dreams. Fuck all your hopes and dreams. Email.com. No.

Everybody tell Tom your favorite dream that you had. I hate you right now. It's going to be one time I was in high school and I was naked. I couldn't remember where my classes were. I have that dream every third day. Who cares? Who cares? No, I'm going to tell you about it. It's a jewel, Tom. It's not a... Oh, my teeth broke.

Literally, nobody cares. Nobody cares. I did have one of those ones, too. Nobody cares, Cecil! Nobody cares! Where my teeth were made of chicken skin okay now i'm interested weirdly hungry delicious they were cracklings i saw this paper it said the last of the giants you believe for three judges but i want you to believe for five. Here's the thing. I'm going to kill five judges. You know what?

I will say this. Five of those judges are going to die. Right? Yeah. It's this. Fuck, man. Fucking nine of those judges are going to die. I'm going to be real surprised if it's Soyota Mayor first.

But, you know, whatever. Shit happens, though. Sure, she could have bad cholesterol or something. She's Latino. Right in line with that word. I want you all to kind of turn toward the Supreme Court. Let's all turn. Jesus is the great chess master

of all history. He's like better than, he beat Big Blue or whatever. Bobby Fisher versus Jesus. Death match. He hides like a piece in his hand. He's like switching out his pawn for a queen.

You have two queens? What are you doing, Jesus? Jesus gets to the back row. Fucking cheater. King me. This is not even a game. What are you doing? Trying to stack a pawn on another pawn. Just got like a pawn upside down on your rook, like balancing precariously

the weird little hat the rook has. St. Peter walks by, what game are you playing? That's not even a game. He wants to prophesy the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy and Jesus is saying today through his ecclesia to the Supreme Court.

What is he talking about? This is the worst version of Piano Man I've ever heard in my entire life. Wait, can we listen to that? I don't know. The prophecy thing again? Court, let's all turn. Jesus is the great chess master of all history. And Jesus wants to prophesy the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.

What does that mean? Jesus wants to prophesy the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. What the fuck? People in the crowd are like, whoa! Yeah! Oh my

God! I jerked off to that phrase this morning. Jesus Christ. Tom, how easy would it be to get these people to throw fucking quarters at you? You know what I mean? Like all you got to do is string together one sentence and they just fall over themselves. Genuinely. Like, has there ever been a part of you that's been like, man, I would have made a great preacher. You know, I think I definitely think the other route like i think it you i certainly could have been devious enough to

trick people out of money uh if it was uh skeptic based like with some sort of snake oil or something because that's easy that's the that's way easier you don't even have to be charismatic look at that david avocado wolf guy or whatever that guy's name you don't have to comb your hair like that guy that guy genuinely is like the least charismatic guy i've ever seen speak he he looks like he's lost he looks like he's asking someone at the ever seen speak. He looks like he's lost. He looks like he's asking someone at the mall where the bathroom is. He looks like he lost his hair, bro. He has no idea.

I look at that guy and I just think, oh my gosh, that guy is so uncharismatic. And he just says random shit that pops into his head. He had a whole fucking room full of people in front of him. If I were a believer, I feel like I could have fucking killed it. Like I would never do it. I would never want to hurt anybody like that. And I would never want to, like, stand up there and spout lies. I would never want to do that.

Of course not. But if I believe this shit, this would be my calling. Yeah. I would be good at that. You'd be better than this guy. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Because you'd put this motherfucker.

You'd just bring together a few words. Right? Yeah. I would fucking kill that job. And Jesus is saying today, through his ecclesia, to the Supreme Court, checkmate. It's checkmate. Everybody cry.

Checkmate. Checkmate. Checkmate. Checkmate. I'm just screaming checkmate. I'm just yelling checkmate in a direction. In the general direction of the Supreme Court. What is happening?

There's a whole group of adults in a room with their hand screaming checkmate in the direction of the thing. You ever see anybody? I'll teach you. You ever see anybody like when you're a little kid and you're

like in a car together, maybe not a little kid, but like you're a high schooler and you're driving by your school and somebody flips the inanimate object of the school, right? Like as if the school is like,

Hey man, fuck you. You know, it's my feelings. You know what? Now we're close. Now there's no more school. They just flip off the inanimate object.

It's the same thing. It's like, there's a bunch of people all like, like Ruth Gator, Ruth Gator Ginsburg's just like, yeah, I'm still going to work tomorrow. I'm fine.

I'm going to walk my 0.4 miles tomorrow very slowly so I don't break my brittle, brittle bones. Ruth, if you're listening, don't break your brittle, brittle bones. Ruth, if you're listening, call me. Caliente. Checkmate. They're still doing it, Tom. They're not going to stop. Checkmate.

They're still checking. Checkmate. Checkmate. Checkmate. Still going. Checkmate. Checkmate. Oh Checkmate Checkmate Checkmate In the name of Jesus we declare It's checkmate In the name of Jesus we declare Well I can't move diagonally No I can't

The king Oh that's a dilly Alright that's a dilly. That's fair. Thanks for yelling at so many What fucking sore winner? Sore fuck. You know, next time I play chess, I'm just gonna be like, checkmate! You gotta do like the dance around him, like the victory dance and scream checkmate.

And the whole time you gotta seek Heil at him. They're gonna rub their butts in your face. My butt's in your face. It's just like, my butt's in your face. My butt's in your face. So now we say we loose the angels of God around the Supreme Court, in the Supreme Court, above the Supreme Court, below the Supreme Court. This is diagonal and perpendicular to the Supreme Court.

This is the worst Dr. Seuss book I've ever heard in my entire life. We say the holy warrior angels of God are stationed there doing battle right now. What is it? What if it's nothing? Who believes this fucking crazy bullshit? They thought real hard in a building. They don't even think they thought real hard.

Yeah, to be honest. They didn't think. Thinking? The angels are going to show up real hard. Yeah, to be honest, they didn't think. Thinking? The angels are going to show up just in all the directions and be like, okay, we're uh, do we get a vote? No, you're not actually on the Supreme Court. They all talk in their piece. We are in position.

What are we going to do? Preacher? Lou Engel? We are in position. None of us, none of us are lawyers. We don't know what's going on. We're not sure. That was actually a persuasive argument. No, we're not supposed to think about it. Okay. Be Republican. Does everybody be Republican with wings? We're Republicans with wings. That's how you know we're angels. They touch everybody and they get a little Republican tattoo. It's what they scan to give you food in the end times. It's just angels with red power ties and blue suits.

So, Lord, we come into alignment right now and we say that these next appointments to the court are inevitable. Yeah, of course. Every these next appointments to the court are inevitable. They are like soon, but they're inevitable. I love that he just committed to alignment. What the mother? The fuck? I'm not just like, look, here's the thing, Cecil.

I'm not just casually into alignment. I'm committed to alignment. Alignment is my thing. I feel like it's gotten serious alignment. Now it's time to... I'm actually Facebook fucking official with alignment. It's complicated time to, I'm actually Facebook fucking official with alignment.

It's complicated. I wish it were. They are unstoppable because you are the unstoppable golf. As opposed to that last one. He stopped him. Iron chariots and everything on the way. We would even pray right now for the United States Senate, for the Senate Judiciary Committee. And we say, and can you please keep those millennials from marching? Whatever you do, make sure it rains on voting day. Let every obstruction to these nominees be removed in the name of Jesus. Everyone out of alignment with your will for these next seats on the court,

let them be realigned or removed in the name of Jesus. Wait, I didn't miss anything. There are no open seats right now. Are they talking about federal positions? They're talking very specifically about the Supreme Court. Right, they did specifically talk about the Supreme Court. So I don't know, maybe they're saying- There are no open... Did I miss

a memo? Did someone die that I'm not aware of? I think God's just getting his ducks in a row, Tom. Getting ready. Well, he has to plan. He's got to... I gotta make a list so I don't forget. I carved all these decoy ducks. I gotta get them in a row. My dog just chews their heads off if I don't just... No, no, no.

I got my retrievers set up. Just eats the eyeballs right out of them. Where's the bird? Where's the bird, Lucy? Where's the bird? Lord, we agree. Oh, sure. The black guy's got to go last.

Jesus Christ, you people. Racists. Realign or remove. Everybody say that. Realign or remove. Re-remove. Re-remove. Wait a minute. If I removeize. A re-remove. Re-remove. Re-remove. Wait a minute.

If I remove and then I re-remove. It's a double negative. He's back. Double negative. Did I get him? I don't know what to do. Hey, what's going on? Ah, those bums won their court case, so they're marching today.

What bums? The fucking Nazi party. Illinois Nazis. I. Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis. So the story is from forward.com. Dot? I said dot all weird. Dot. This is from forward.com.

Dot com. I don't even know what that voice was. This is, this is from forward.com. Holocaust denier will be GOP nominee in Illinois congressional race. Now. Okay. Hold on a second because that sounds bad, but also is true. This is Arthur Jones. He's a 70 year old retired insurance agent and racist and horror. Like L all of those things are true. Like this guy is a horrible, horrible racist. Like he just, he just is. And he keeps trying to be in Congress and he keeps losing. And I want you guys to understand something first. He will lose again. Yeah. He's running against lip lip kin. I guess,

forgets the guy's name is he's a, he's an Illinois Congressman. Um, already he's the, he's the incumbent. He's going to win. He's in a, he's in a district where the Republican party didn't have anybody to field, which is the only reason he got the nomination. Right. He did not beat out other candidates. The Republican party is like, there's nobody and we're not going to fuck it. What he did was he beat the streets for signatures.

And at one point in this article, it says there's a state ballot access guidelines and they limit the fringe element from cluttering up the ballot. And it required Jones to get 603 registered voters. That's it. Big deal. 603 registered voters. And he said this person in the article spoke with multiple people who signed Jones's petition and they were shocked to learn that they had supported a candidacy of a former Nazi. This is a quote.

I probably just signed it because he asked me to, said a 63-year-old Linda. And then it says, another vote, another voter from nearby Worth said she didn't even recall signing the petition in the first place.

When they asked 93-year-old Alice how she felt about Jones's view, the Bridgeview resident replied incredulously, I did not know that. And here's another thing, and I'm not going to get down on these people because I have signed petitions outside grocery stores. I've signed petitions on the L.

I've been on the L before and not on the L, but like waiting for the L and somebody's come up. And normally the pitch is, hey, I'm trying to get this libertarian candidate on the pitch is, hey, I'm trying to get this libertarian candidate on the ballot, or hey, I'm trying to get this other person on the ballot. And most of the time I'll be like, for me, I'm happy to have someone else in the ballot.

You never think it's a Nazi. You never just like, you never just like, you never, the thing is, is like, you never think to ask, is this person a Nazi? Is this person gonna be a Nazi? Because I got fooled once. You never think to ask, is this person a Nazi? Is this person going to be a Nazi? Because I got fooled once. You never think to ask, is the person a Nazi?

So I totally, like there was a bunch of people when I posted that, I posted something on Facebook about this. It basically said, look, don't get, you know, everybody's saying, oh my god, the GOP has a Nazi running. It was a, it's a by default thing. The GOP says they strongly oppose his racist views. Yeah, they even go out of their way to list that. But I had a bunch of people saying, no, it's on by default thing. This guy says they strongly oppose his racist view.

They even go out of their way to list that. But I had a bunch of people saying, no, it's on them. It's on the GOP. They should have put somebody in that. They should have wasted the money to at least make sure that this Nazi didn't get in there. And it's, you know, he got signatures and there were signatures who signed in that place. And I'm just thinking, yeah, but he could have just said, look, I just want to be a Republican on the ballot. I need to get signatures.

That's, you know, that's all he's got to say the thing is like there is a process right and he just followed the process yeah if you leave your door unlocked should you leave your door unlocked no yeah but do you think a nazi's gonna break into your house you know swastikas all over the place i'd assume if i kill a Jew in the kitchen? Come on! He's not Alex Jones. That's only alleged, by the way, that he killed a Jew in the kitchen

with a candlestick. That's only alleged. It might have been the parlor with... Could have been Colonel Muster. He's as white as Colonel Muster. Colonel Muster right here is a motherfucker.

Well, I can start with his shirt off. There were a lot of people who were really upset by it, though. They were like, you know, they were bitching and moaning about it. And I understand. Look, I want to dislike the Republican Party, too. The Republican Party has fucked America six ways from Sunday for my entire life. They've been fucking America.

So I want to do something that says the Republican Party is in the wrong here, too. But I look at this and I just think they just he just fucking found a loophole man i i agree but can i can i offer a not if not a counterpoint an observation my friend did you notice that he ran for like no nazi ever runs for the democratic party okay right. That would be weird. But he's tough on borders, Tom. You know, if there's gonna be a Nazi, do you not assume that if he runs, like if there's if there was, if both

slots were open, and a Nazi's gonna fill a slot. That's true. Would any part of you wonder will he fill the blue spot? To be honest, though, if we're gonna blame this on him though in every place that the rope that the democrats aren't gonna run somebody because they know they're gonna get fucking the floor wiped with them the somebody could just walk in any to anybody and just say they're the democrat and be like yeah i'm a fucking they're a nazi a national socialist instead of just a socialist so they

could run a nazi in that too. I'm just saying that Nazis choose the GOP. You're right. The GOP did not choose the Nazis. Right? But the Nazis do choose the GOP. And I don't know that that's accidental. It's not like they're like, I don't know, I rolled

some dice and it turned out that they always 100% of the time come up with the GOP. Every time. We say. Never not that time. That's their fault that anybody who runs in the future in and just slides in. I'm just

all I'm doing is offering could be like a racist or whatever. I guess the racist would run for the GOP too. I'm just saying right. Right. I'm just this is an observation you make of it what you will. I'm not interpreting my own observation you make of it what you will I'm not interpreting my own observation that's very what I'm simply pointing out is that

there was no fucking way he's gonna run in a Barak's old ditch as a Nazi right I want to say this though there's an there's an interview I saw with this guy talking to somebody I think it was from CNN it's hilarious is he amazing he's just a super racist.

He's super duper extra special racist, man. And they're just talking. She's trying to have a conversation with the guy and I'm like, you put this guy in the air. He's just a shitty old racist. He's just a shitty old racist that's going to die soon and no one's going to care.

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Treat your genitals to a good time. Oh my God. This story is amazing. Right wing watch. I want to, as a quick aside, the kids in my house, I don't know how many there are anymore anymore but the kids in my house have this whole thing that they've gathered about the illuminati from youtube youtube is like it's it's the death of thoughts and my kids watch it all the

time and so that's why they're stupid and like they have this thing where they run around the house blaming everything on the illuminati oh no and the whole time i'm like oh my god you guys are gonna grow up watching info wars you're just i think they already do like i just throw them away now just throw them all the way now dad why do you take your shirt off like alex jones why do you sound dad what do you do in the basement dad why do you have your chest chest hair into a tie? Why is that? So this is Paul Begley. He says Barack Obama is leading an Illuminati plot to assassinate Trump. I want to dedicate this story to Donovan and Finn. You guys would love this.

Please never listen to this show ever. We've now got Barack Obama on emails, on text messages. Is he recording from inside an orange crayon? He really is. I think he's got one of those Himalayan salt lamps in the background lit up. It's like he's recording

inside an actual sun-kissed factory. It's got like a pink salt lamp in the corner to take down the ionization of the room. I will kill you. I will stuff your corpse I will kill you. I will stuff your corpse with jade eggs. What I love hearing is people tell

me about the salt lamp. When they're like, no, when you put the salt lamp in the room and you turn on a little light bulb inside of the salt, it suddenly removes the ionization. And I'm always like, what's wrong with the ionization? Like, why is the ionization bad? Just ask one of them to explain what ionization is.

What's an ion? They're like, it's a brand of sky on. Between the FBI leadership that what Obama wanted. We know right now, folks, that this was treasonous. And they've tried to hijack our nation. They tried to take our, override our nation they tried to take our override our election and trying to destroy our constitution fucking russians right it's ridiculous he's not talking about the russians no he's talking about barack obama i think he's talking about the russians

i think he's talking about because that's what happened that the russians did that's why like 13 of them were recently indicted for fucking with our elections. Not Barack Obama, the guy who got elected and then served two terms and then left peacefully when he was done. What was? I think he's now fishing or golfing or fucking masturbating all day. What the fuck is he doing? Why are we still worried about this guy? It's amazing.

He's still black. Maybe that's the problem. He's still black. He's still the boogeyman, right? Yeah, he's still the boogeyman. This is a cabal. And by their own text messages, they even say they have a secret. Oh, yeah, this is the this is the way they're talking about the text messages for the FBI.

That's what they're talking about. So clearly the FBI was involved in doing some of this stuff. And those text messages are not that they're not a smoking gun. They're not even remotely. They're not even remotely. They're not even remotely damning. Secret societies. And they say that these societies are meeting. And these are top level people

of several different U.S. government agencies. That's not what it says. It doesn't say that at all. That's not. Like it literally doesn't say that. That's not what you should infer from any of those messages. Wait, they're like,

Illuminati meetings is next week? Bring pizza? Like, what the fuck? There's like a secret Facebook group of Illuminatis. What are you talking about? Hey, guys. Every other Tuesday is Illuminati Day.

Yeah, they don't actually say Illuminati. They just use a pyramid emoji. It's just pyramid, eyeball, skull, and cross crossbones that's just what it is like meet me at national treasure the fuck out of here what we have to do is we have to learn to fold our dollar bills in the secret and then we find out that a plane had fucking oh i remember that you fold the bill the right way you could see a plane hitting a tower or whatever. Oh my god. That shit was amazing. That was my favorite.

I wonder, like, the guy who figured that out was like, oh, the dummies are gonna buy this. Dummies are gonna buy this thing. He's like, oh my god, did something happen? Gather as an Illuminati, working together as a cabal to overthrow the United States of America,

following the rules of radical book written by Saul Owinski. Owinski? Owinski. Saul Owinski. Saul Owinski. And I think that Bill Ayers is behind the scenes. I know.

Jesus Christ. Bill Ayers is just like, wait a minute, I haven't been relevant in a really long time. What was that black preacher? What was his name? Do you remember the guy's name? You know who I'm talking about though, right? The fire and brimstone black preacher.

Let's bring him back too. Bring him all. Bring him back for the finale. We should have a whole like... It'll be like a reunion show. We should have a 2004 boogeyman collection card thing you know like who were we scared of and it's just like here's all the people in your neighborhood or fucking whatever jeremiah jeremiah wright jeremiah wright was his name god damn it that's right yeah jeremiah wright

is actually the orchestrator he's the one who's pulling Saul Lewinsky's fucking strings. And Bill Ayers is out doing it too. Bill Ayers too. Remember when you guys were scared of those guys? Remember when those names were the boogeymen? I bet nothing will happen later the same way that nothing happened for eight years when he actually had power.

No kidding, right? They're all super worried about it now. He had it before. He had a lot of power before. He was the actual president at the time. And I love how the current president has less power than the previous president. They're more scared of him now.

Now that he's done being president, now is when he's going to really exert his presidential power. I'm going to put my face at his table. No Barack Barry Obama. I know that Barack Barack Barry Obama. I know that Barack Hussein Obama. I know that

he is orchestrated. And don't forget Valerie Jarrett. And they're hanging out just two miles down the road. They really thought by now they would have... There's a plan in place, folks. I love that they're still bitching about how they're close to Washington, D.C. What difference does it make your proximity? Like, well, if we're going to washington dc what difference does it make like your proximity like well we got if we're gonna overthrow the government we have to be

close because what we do is we wait for trump to leave and then we run in and shut the door and then we change the lock we were beaten by the best so here's the thing white house is like the last donut on a plate. And you got to reach over and lick the donut. And if you lick that donut. That's how you claim it. Then you claim it. It's the jackpot donut. It's your donut.

It's fucking 2018. Being somewhere physically doesn't matter for any reason. There's people who trade on Wall Street from home, right? There's people who trade stocks all over the world because they don't have to be in a physical place anymore. I think I have maybe a third of my staff that I've never met. That works for me. I don't even know. They're just names and phone numbers and email addresses.

That work at home? Yeah. I've never met them. I will never meet them. They don't even come to the Christmas party. I don't even know what they look like. They're all Russians. The only time I meet them is when you fire him yeah you have to call him

you have to call him in to fire him that's true that's 2018 you should just send him a text message with a little illuminati emoji a little dollar sign with a no symbol after it folks they either wanted a number one impeach president trump on lies that they were conjuring our truth we could go with truth yeah it turns out option mueller's not going to be like thrown around indictments on shit that's not true why would he do that getting close that noose is getting closer i think it's getting that gates flipping when gates flipped it's over that's scary from for trump i guarantee this is all... This is very careful. The dominoes are being laid.

Manafort at this point is saying, you know, he's not going to flip and he's not guilty and whatever. But they already got his co-conspirator. Right. And so it really doesn't matter what Manafort does at this point. He's pissed too.

His thing was like, I don't know why my business partner is... Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, he flipped. And they still haven't talked about what they're doing with the other people that they've they've indicted and some of the bigger fish. Yeah. That the the previous secretary, what was his name? Kelly was at his name.

Yeah. So yeah, this is it's it's it's it's it's tightening. Yeah, it's it's it's going to be. I don't know if they'll ever get Trump, but they're going to get a lot of people around him. I think so, too. And working in cahoots together. Or if that don't work, number two, use Article 25 and declare that the president of the United States is deranged. How do you do that with a Republican Congress and Senate?

How do you possibly do that what the i mean do you not understand that they control all aspects of government they have the fucking supreme court and the two houses of fucking government and the presidency how the fuck do you go in and be like hey guys he's crazy let's start this shit okay yeah but you're not thinking barack obama is two miles away. And he'll use his black power to black it all up. And Jeremiah Wright

will yell at him for a while. He'll show up to the White House with his rap music and his rhythm dancing. Don't fucking use your fucking noodle, dude. They can't do anything. I don't want to get into debate about climate change, but I will just simply point out. I don't want to get into debate about the climate change, but I will just simply point out that I think in academia,

we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that. Yet there are no coal mines on Mars. There's no factories on Mars that I'm aware of. Man, this story is fucked up. This is from The Guardian. It's not okay how clueless Donald Trump is about climate change. There are claims that are being made by Donald Trump and by the Trump administration and by others that are part of the Trump administration regarding climate

change. And as a quick aside, I found out this week that my dad doesn't believe in man-made climate change. Huh? My dad, I was having a conversation with him. And he's like, yeah, well, the climate's been changing for millennia and it just changes from time to time. Like, yeah, nobody's like, you understand that? Like nobody's arguing that it felt. And the reason I bring this up is it felt like having an argument. And I don't know if my dad does not support Trump, but it felt like having an argument with the Trumps is like, yeah, but like, you know, that that's not the claim. That's not what climate change is. And that's not what anybody is saying about or around climate change or even why climate change is a problem. Like, and I asked him, I'm like, you do understand that, right, dad? And he was

just like, well, you know, climate's been changing. And I'm just like, like, like, it doesn't matter what we say, please build me an end table. Sure. Like, that was the conversation. Like, I was just like, I can't. Yeah. I can't do any of this. But that's my dad. Yeah. Right?

My dad is a wonderful man that I love with all of my heart. And he drives a school bus and he's not the president. Yeah. And that's a good thing. Yeah. Because he doesn't know anything about science. And that's not to his detriment. Like, he's not supposed to know anything about science.

But our current president doesn't know anything at all about science. And he doesn't have anybody on his staff that that takes any of the science seriously. And in fact, says this sends the exact opposite message. Right. Yeah. And it's it's it's beyond dangerous. This is a guy. Our current president once said that climate change was a myth made up by the Chinese. Are you fucking kidding me? That's a thing he said. That's a thing that he said. One day he's just going to be so confused he's going to

confess that he gave El Nino hush money. So let's talk about some of the things that have been said. Before we start on what he said, I want to read how they preface this. He says, There are claims you might expect from a YouTube troll, not the leader of the country that produces some of the

best climate research and data in the world. Do you remember when G.W. Bush was the guy you would have a beer with? We have devolved into the president you would want in your YouTube comment section. Right? Right? Dude, YouTube comment section. Right?

Right? Dude, that's horrible. Right? You're not wrong. You're not wrong. That was the excuse for W. Yeah, and that's what turned my stomach when I read this.

I'm like, you know what? There are claims you would expect from a YouTube troll. You're right, man. Absolutely true. You're so depressingly not wrong. Donald Trump, and there's a video embedded

in this article, but I don't think we want to play the video. There's a video embedded, but the article goes through and it debunks a lot of Trump's claims regarding climate change and climate science. And you look at some of this stuff, and it's some of the most elementary and obvious shit. of the most like elementary and obvious shit so there's the claim that there's been a recent cooling that i've heard that too and trump has spouted that shit as well um there's been no recent cooling that's not a thing it's not true that's just it's just objectively not a not a true statement um so and trump has said remember when trump he tweeted something out like oh where's all that climate change? It's real snowy.

Yeah. He doesn't, he doesn't understand the difference between climate and weather. He doesn't, he doesn't get that. And a lot of people don't. Yeah. Like a lot of people confuse that like, oh, it's been, it's been a hell of a winter. Where's all my climate change? Well, and, and you know, that, that, that happens all the time, but then they don't,

you know, and it could be very cold in the Midwest. Like, let's say there was a couple of years in a row where it was very cold in the Midwest and it was cold. It was like really fucking cold from October all the way until May, like two years in a row. It was a brutal winter and it was cold, cold. Like we're talking in the teens for weeks at a time. It was, you know, always really below freezing. It was a very unpleasant winter, two winters in a row. But at that same time, it was the hottest couple of years on record in the Southern Hemisphere. You know what I mean? Like, so, so like you, you're, you're just seeing what's around you. You're just, and I feel like that myopic view of the world is how a lot of people explain away a lot of really bad things.

Right. Right. And they, and it's how they subjugate others very easily. It's how they, you know, don't recognize the other it when they have that myopic view, that small town myopic,

I'm just, you know, I'm just, all I see is around me. The only people I care about are these five people. That's a bad way to live. And it's a bad way to think. I genuinely feel like that's, you know, like that. I got mine mentality. And we've talked

about this before that sort of small town. I've got my mentality. I think it's a bad way to think. But I think that infects all the ways in which they think. And so they feel like, well, it was cold here. It's cold everywhere. They can't experience outside of themselves. Everything is their own experience. I also think that they they look and say, okay, well, you know, in the United States, this is what it was like. It's like, yeah, but it's global climate change. And we are, and what they're sort of like not recognizing is that everything that the climate scientists have been talking about, which is weather extremes, shifts, changes, bigger storms, colder winters, droughts, floods, all of this shit that was and is predicted by the models of climate change.

All of it's happening. Yeah. And I did talk to my dad about this. He says he doesn't think it's going to happen. I was like, dad, it is happening. It's right now. It's currently. It's right now.

This isn't something we're waiting to see if it occurs it is happening we are experiencing it and it is the concern isn't whether we'll experience it we are the concern is the acceleration yeah how do we rate of acceleration slow it down you know and and i think like a lot of these people don't get that like we're not not waiting for it. Yeah. It's here. Yeah. You're in the middle of it right now. And it's going to get worse. The question is how much worse and what are we going to do to change it? Like you said, can we do anything to change it? Can we do anything to slow it down? I don't know. Yeah. But I'll tell you what we can't do. Nothing. Yeah. Or go backwards. And that's all we're going to do, man. And let's talk about backwards because one of the major points he was calling on in the State of the Union was he's talking about how he got out of the Paris deal.

Yeah. I got out of the Paris deal was such a bad deal for America is what he was saying. That deal wasn't binding. There wasn't anything to that deal that bound us to it. All it was was good PR for American businesses. That's all it was. It was good PR to say we were part of that Paris accord. That's all it was.

There was nothing in it that if we didn't meet those measures, there was nothing whatsoever. There's no teeth to it. So when he's saying it's a bad deal and I got us out of it, he doesn't even know what he's talking about. It's just a signal, right? All it is is just him saying, look, guys, it's basically what other people want. I made it so they didn't get it. This is a guy who still believes in clean coal. Yeah.

Beautiful, clean coal. Yeah. Beautiful, clean coal. He says it all the time. Clean, beautiful coal, clean boat, beautiful, clean coal. He loves that shit. It's not real. Yeah.

There's no such thing as clean coal. The idea, and it makes me fucking nuts because we don't need to keep going down this path. I feel like when I read shit online, when I read these stories about technological advances that are constantly being made in alternative energy sources and ways to transmit energy, we are so close. We are so close to making real improvements and real advances. And like, if we de-incentivize this, if we take our foot off the fucking gas pedal in that direction, we're just shit. Like, like you can create so much more damage.

It takes so long to solve these problems. You know, like every, you know, like there are people who are like, ah, fuck it. Let Trump be in power,

burn it for four years. Then we'll fix it. It's like, I don't know if we can afford four. Because environmentally, four might do 12 years worth of damage. It's a lot of damage. And, you know, they were talking about certain levels of carbon, and we've passed those. We've surpassed

those levels. We've surpassed it. So we're in unexplored territory right now. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers! I want the truth! You can't handle the truth! This is from Right Wing Watch. how god intervened to stop hillary clinton and satan from killing 90 of humanity wow this is that sheila zielinski chick 90 now the government had a plan called blue beam back that voice that voice that voice Now the government had a plan

called Bluebeam. Ha ha ha ha! Go get it! Ha ha ha ha! Back in the 80s, where they were going to fake a rapture of the church through blue beams

and being able to shoot holographs up into the sky. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? They're going to fake the rapture. They're going to fake the rapture. and being able to shoot holographs up into the sky. What? What? It's amazing. What are you talking about? I'm going to fake the rapture. Fake the rapture. Holograph.

What's a holograph? Well, a holograph isn't something. And when you put one in the sky. When you want to make a picture, you have to tap it out in Morse code. It's a holograph. Y'all see them holographs up in the sky? Y'all see that cloud projector? We got a holograph coming in from San Francisco.

We're going to fake the rapture. Is everybody that was here before still here? Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Let me call roll. And I did some research on that many years ago. And what this entails, and we're talking about electronic magnetic witchcraft, is...

Fucking magnets, how do they work? Electronic witchcraft. What is that, an Apple magic mouse? I know. It's a Hitachi wand. That's what it says. And if you're interested in getting a Hitachi wand,

you can get one at 50% off at adamandeve.com. Just enter Gloria at checkout. Free plug for them. And you can get a plug from adamandeve.com. Satan worship, astrology,

horoscopes, tarot card readings, Ouija boards, palm readings, fire walkings. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Thrust your Hitachi one. Bloody. Whoa. Haley and I the other day were in this little called a Rhinebeck up in New York.

And there was a company that like had like, they had like the whole skeptics creed advertised on their window. Just about. It was like psychic healings, crystal balls, tarot cards. It was like, it was like,

if you had big foot, the Yetis, you would add the whole thing. We were laughing. It was almost if you had Bigfoot and Yetis, you would have had the whole thing. We were laughing. It was almost in order. This lady is going to mention dolphins in a second. Seances, mediums, spirits, channeling, holistic medicines, physical tests, sports. What the fuck?

Is she reading all the categories from Trivial Suits? Just sports? Just all sports? I guess all sports. Arm wrestling. Do you know that the witchcraft powers in America had total control

over the NFL? Slytherin, the official house of the NFL. Actually, it would probably be the Baltimore Ravenclaws. Oh, nice. Nice. Under Obama. And what Trump is doing and has done is he has disconnected the NFL

from the powers of the former government. What the fuck are you talking about? She sounds like the type of person who starts a sentence without knowing how it's going to end. She just starts saying things, and she's not quite sure how the finish of the sentence is going to happen. The NFL is just like, wait, we had a, we had the, the what, with the who, we just, we play, we're like, we just give people concussions. That's all we do. We give people concussions so that they murder their families.

Or themselves, or themselves, Tom. Trump is doing a lot of things and someday maybe we can talk about that. But now, got it? No one's stopping you, lady. It's not like you're on this tightly controlled train right now. You know what? I don't want to get off track

and start saying something crazy. Anyway, back to how the NFL is made out of fucking flipper jacks or something. And Swiss cheese. This lady's on the crazy train. Oh, great. What?

Wait, wait, wait. Scroll up. What the fuck radio? What was she on? Was she being interviewed or was she on my show? She's on. This is that

Sheila Zielinski show, but she just keeps talking. This miracle internet church lady, Pat Holliday, just keeps talking. I love this woman so much. ...and visualization. Now, all of these are supernatural witchcraft powers that any little corner witch uses.

Corner witch! A little corner witch comes over and steals your man. A little corner witch comes over and steals your man. You better get your ass out of here, you little corner witch. Corner witch? What the fuck is a corner witch? That's when you cut off the crust of the bread and you just have the corner witch on the side. It's like the witch that's in the corner of Blair Witch at the end of the movie is standing there. She's standing there.

Hey, asshole. I'm still, just walk over and tap on the shoulder. When I first saw that movie, I thought it was P. I'm like, don't interrupt him.

He's got to go. Don't talk to him when he's going to go. That ruins the flow. It'm like, don't interrupt him. He's going to go. Don't talk to him when he's going to go. That ruins the flow. It's like a pea shot. Oh, Jesus. You just stand there and you're like, I got staged right now. However, the difference is this. In electronic magnetic witchcraft, what it means is.

Oh, my God. What the fuck is that? Okay, please explain. There is an educated, refined witch or wizard. I like that it's a refined witch. It's got a monocle. And it's a witch or a wizard. Let's be sure to use their pronouns correctly.

They prefer wizard and or warlock. What's in the cauldron? Oh, it's a nice bouillabaisse. I'm a refined witch. It's really more of a consomme. It's an eye of new reduction. It's delicious. It's very good. It is pulling the strings to release that on one individual or on a group of individuals or over a city or over a country. Or in a jar or under your pillow. Or over a country or over a continent or over the earth or over the solar system or over the local cluster. How powerful are these people? You know what I love?

I love all these fucking witches with so much power, and yet they don't just always get what they want. I know. Or they don't just be like, man, is that fucking crazy bitch talking about me again? Oogada boogada, and then she dies. Right?

Well, this lady sounds like she could die at any moment anyway. It's like if it got all this power, but they still have to win an election and they have to get a law passed and then the law isn't everything. It's like why isn't every single fortune teller or future reader fucking a lot of winner? Right? They know how to use these powers and that's why they were winning the war. However, God had However. They forgot

how to use their powers. They were thwarted by what do you think? Trump? God. Okay. God has been training people to be a. Now you're right. You're right. I'm not though. God is doing

the training of the people. So God is like when like the America deposes the country, and then we show up, and then we train that country how to be terrorists later. Oh, yeah, sure. Like assassin school or whatever. Right, yeah. Or Iran. Or Nicaragua. Able to rise up in supernatural warfare and defeat the powers of these people that have been trained in the governments so that they were almost ready to win. If Hillary Clinton had won the presidency of the United States of America, we may not even be here talking to you because they did have a world war three planned where they were why would they want that hey is there any time i really want to get on your schedule can we get the world war three you know what let me check my camera i just gotta see you

know i think i'm free on the weekend of the 14th i don't have the 14th for world war three i've got a i've got something you got a thing on the 14th yeah what about the have the 14th for World War III. I've got something on that. You got a thing on the 14th? Yeah. What about the 17th? Can we do... I mean, it's like St. Patrick's Day, but... I can... Well, that's my... I don't know. Okay. Well, let's... You know what? Put a pin in it. All right. And I'll call Kim Jong-un.

Let's see if we can get that one. We'll see what his... It's so hard to get these things nailed down. It's tough to get it scheduled. It really is. You got to get a day that works for everybody. You know what I want to do? I want to be the leader of a smoking rubble crate. That's what I want. Who doesn't, Tom?

What I want to do is I want to have power, but I want to make sure the power is only wielded over a race of radioactive subhumans. What I want is a whole bunch of chutz. What I don't understand is why every single mayor in the United States doesn't just kill all their people who live there. That's the ultimate plan, right? Just abort

every baby. Just kill every person. Just abort every baby and then we all commit suicide. Yeah, if you're in a town, if you're a mayor of a town with a nuclear reactor, just open it up a little while and just kill everybody there. That's what we want. As a mayor, that's what you'd want as a mayor. I know that the real root and cause of power is to just destroy the people you have power over so that you have no power later.

Yeah, or like if you're, say, the governor of Illinois, just do that economically. Or 90% of the people. And what they wanted to do is take control over the world by going down into their underground cities. What the fuck are you talking about? Wait, hold on. Okay, let me see if I can wrap my brain around that. So she's the president. Uh-huh.

Wait, hold on. Okay, let me see if I can write my brain down. So she's the president. Uh-huh. And so she kills 90% of the people who she would have been a ruler over to rule over less people. Yeah, but she's first got to go into her underground city. Oh, I forgot about the underground city.

Like what? What underground city? What do we have? Atlantis in our back pocket? Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, do we have any underground cities? Oh. Bury it.

No, that's under garbage. That's different. Bury it now. We would all be dead. And then when it was time, they could come out of their underground cities and rule the world with Satan. She's just repeating the plot of like fucking the time machine or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, isn't it like H.G. Wells time machine with like fucking the

creaks of the Morlocks and shit? Lived underground and there's this beautiful race of elves or whatever that lived above ground. I don't know, man, but like she paid way too much attention to fucking science fiction books. Like, oh, this documentary of the future is really scary.

Yeah, it's called the Bible, Tom. So we want to thank our patrons, of course. Our patrons are wonderful people who make sure this show is funded. We thank you so much, but we want to thank our newest patrons, Tamara, Nicholas, Stink Vomit, Christopher, Gene, Anthony, Cowbell, Jonathan, Tankard, Shane, Peabody Smokes Crayons, and Jeananin. Jeanan.

Jeanan. Jeanan or Giannan. Giannan. Giannan. Yeah, okay. Yeah, there you go. It's dangerous to go alone. Gannon. Gannon. Yeah, okay. There you go. It's dangerous to go alone.

Take this. So thank you all so much for your generous donations. We, of course, thank all our patrons, but we want to thank our newest patrons. Thank you so much for joining up.

We got another image from Travis we're going to post on this week's show notes. Hilarious image of Trump we thought was great, so we're going to post it this week. Thank you, Travis, for sending it.

We got a message from Pete and Pete said he was listening to a show where we're talking about money and tax cuts. He says he's British, live in the UK and work for a US company. We got a cash bonus after Trump's tax cut. It's good the company recognized all their staff around the globe,

but I really don't think that's what Trump had in mind, cutting taxes in the US so the Brits could get a bonus. You can send it to us. You can donate it on Patreon. Yeah, absolutely. Hey, you know, we will take any dollar amount to Pete. So if you want to become a patron, look us up, baby.

We got a message from Patrick and he says, you know, that pot belly PBP thing. It's pretty sure he's actually talking about Alex Jones himself. He believes Alex Jones is 30% pig, 30% bear, and 80% human. Math is not Alex Jones' strong suit. He says, I believe it's a pot belly pig bear person. I hope it is. That's hilarious. We got a fucking... This is amazing.

Such a funny video. This video made me laugh until I was crying. It's such a great video. It's called Wall in a Can. Oh my God. We'll post it on this week's show notes. We may also tweet it out this week.

I laughed so hard. It's so funny. Travis sent it in. Very funny video. Wall in a Can. It was hilarious. It's basically just a guy who redubbed an infomercial. But sent it in. Very funny video. Wall in a can. It was hilarious. It's basically just a guy who redubbed an infomercial,

but it's hilarious. It's so funny. It's super funny. We also got a message from Sakura who says that they wound up googling Potbelly PvP and they didn't find anything initially, but they did find a PDF titled

Practical Tips for Dealing with Your Pot Belly in a Time of Disaster. What the? What? What is? You eat it? Yeah, exactly. It's a pig. Ah, delicious. Why do you have it? If there's a disaster, you have a bacon. And maybe they're talking about your pot belly. Oh, your pot belly?

Well, if there's a disaster, that's what I've been saving that for. Bacon, yeah. There's another video here, and we're going to post it on this week's show notes. been saving that for bacon yeah there's another video here and we're gonna post it on this week's show notes couldn't believe this it's gonna it's gonna link about five minutes into this and it's that david avocado wolf guy i had never seen anything he had done i never really watched anything but it's fucking hilarious and the guy is such a goofy shit he's like you hear him talking. That's not real. But there's a whole audience of people taking notes.

They're like, oh, I can I can sleep with my ass in the air. I only have to sleep an hour. It's amazing. It's so funny. Tom, we got a message from Cindy about about supplements. Yeah, this was kind of incredible. She said, I don't know. I heard you guys mentioned 530.

I don't know if you ever get their significant numbers email, but they sent me the following stat this morning. My immediate thought was a 52% of Americans really, really need to hear Tom's poem. And this is a quote says the supplement business in the United States is worth $30 billion. And the reality that there's zero evidence for most of the more than 90,000 vitamin and dietary supplements. They do much of anything. Still 52% of Americans take a supplement of some kind with 10% of Americans consuming four or more supplements. Yeah. That's more than half of people.

Yeah. Buy that garbage. It's a lot. That's a lot, man. We got a couple of clips. One of them is a call to prayer, so I'm not going to play it. Tom can send it again when we're doing calls to prayer,

probably in June, but we want to play this. This is Alex Jones. Um, we had Seth on and this was when Alex Jones was just like growling. And so he put it some, it to some metal. And,

uh, this is what it sounds like. You will fall. You will not bring humanity down. This is what it sounds like. a backstabber a devil I see you enemy enemy enemy you are my enemy that was great he did a great job it totally fit

way to go Tom got another video and I gotta say I love this one so there's that we played a a call to prayer the tunak tunak song that uh that was a call to prayer which I had never heard of So there's that, we played a call to prayer, the Tunak Tunak song

that was a call to prayer. Which I had never heard of. You showed me that video and I lost my shit. We loved it. Tom and I watched it together and then Tom and I watched right afterwards.

If you search for it, there's a Tunak Tunak song and I don't know if I'm saying that correct. I don't really care. Please don't send a message to correct me. But there's another version of that song

where every time he says the phrase, they increase the speed. And Tom and I watched that. Amazing. It was brilliant. Because every time he says it, I'm like... It's fucking awesome.

But somebody sent this to us. Aaron sent this to us. It's a metal version of that song. The video is so good. And the video is the best and it's hilarious. It is so good. Tom and I were just like, this is way better than the original version. So we're going to post that in this week's show notes.

We loved it. We absolutely love this, Aaron. I love the guy dancing in this video. He is my favorite person. I want to have him over for every holiday. Dancing in like the onesie? Amazing. We got a bunch of emails about this and I just want to just want to talk about this. Tweets

and emails. People sending us messages saying Alex Jones was wrong about genetics. We know. Yeah. Nobody thought he was right about genetics. He was wrong. We never once thought Alex Jones was saying anything true.

We don't ever think Alex Jones says anything true. I'm not convinced his name is Alex Jones. Okay, well, that's going to wrap it up for this week. We will be back next week, hopefully with a guest. We will let you know, well, we can't really let you know this week

who the guest is, but we'll let you know next week who our next guest is, damn it. Because we'll have week who our next guest is. There we go. Because we'll have them both recorded on the same day. We'll have them both recorded on the same day. But we're hoping that the guest we have comes through and we are really looking forward to the conversation. We are going to wrap it up, though, and we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon

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