Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 411: Inside the Gloryhole with Noah Lugeons

Episode Date: April 30, 2018

Thank you to Noah Lugeons for joining us at Glory......HOLE Studios.     Stories from the Week

This show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. If you go to AdamandEve.com and enter GLORY at checkout, that's G-L-O-R-Y at checkout, you'll get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing, and free shipping. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hill studios in chicago this is skeptocrat no fuck hold on hold on let me try this is the scathing eighth no i got that mixed up again you gotta do that it's thursday it's wednesday dating okay that's mean hang on a minute he's not even here i know he'll hit me from very far it's Wednesday dating no making fun of Heath

okay that's mean hang on a minute he's not even here I know he'll hit me from very far away his arm's like an orangutan it's just

he's got the reach it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome at this episode 411 of Cognitive Dissonance

is there an informational episode 4 that's 311 isn't it what's 411 I donognitive Dissonance. Is there an informational episode? That's 311, isn't it? What's 411? I don't know. I think that's like weather or something. Or like traffic. Oh, of course. Noah would correct me.

Welcome, Noah. I came a thousand miles just to be a pedant in person. You're going to correct my vow. Yeah, right. He's going to red pen that shit. He's going to be like, no. Sorry. He's going to red pen that shit. He's going to be like, no. Sorry. He's going to come after me and be like, try to cut the cake.

He's like, actually, it should be a 30 degree angle on that cake. That's why I bought cupcakes. Just so I don't have to listen to your shit. And that's why I came. Because you bought cupcakes. Here's hoping your wedding goes better than our show in Edinburgh, man. That's all I hope for you. Oh my God.

Don't worry. There's going to be angry people there. There's going to be people walking out in the middle of it. Fuck, I'm not watching this train wreck. This isn't the science talk I paid for. Well, thanks for joining us in studio. Appreciate you making the trek over.

We appreciate you coming in and welcome to the glory hole, my friend. Yeah, it's pretty impressive. Thank you. There's this dude here that's just begging for a dick to be stuck in his mouth. I am not. I asked once. I asked once. That's scary.

That's not begging. It was kind of begging. It was kind of begging. I got to be honest with you. Please, please, please. Well, the thing is, is that with Tommy, you can never tell if he's on his knees or not. He's on the table.

He's a wee one. Well, you gotta get a photo with Gary before you leave. Oh, absolutely. You gotta get a photo with Gary. I'll be thought out in several minutes. I just had to walk through a beautiful Chicago spring to get here.

Well, I mean, welcome. We try to do our best with those. You know, the plows weren't out yet, so we're good. Should we defrost them in the pizza oven or something? It'll take about an hour, hour and a half, if I'm not mistaken. I weigh like 11 pounds. It'll take 15. That's about what a Chicago pizza weighs. We'll just sit them

on the thing that spins around it's like a rotisserie for Noah thanks for joining us in studio Noah it's great to finally be here I've heard a lot about it it is just as creepy as I expected glory holes often are nobody ever walks away from a glory hole

like classier than expected you know I didn't think the rhinestones were a nice touch. I was a little dubious about the dress code, but now I understand. I understand now. I brought a chaperone for nothing. I'll tell you what, I put the black tie in the completely wrong place.

Disagree. Hard disagree. That was the right place, my friend. I appreciate a little formality to it, you know? It's welcome in this day and age to have a gentleman. You know what? I have a monocle. I wear a monocle on it.

That's super classy right there. Sometimes it's okay to slow down. Just enjoy. Savor the moment. I wear the monocle too, but I mean, like, I also just imagine the monocle on the other side. And I'm picturing a lady with a monocle, in case you're wondering. It's a lady. I was picturing Mr. Peanut.

Whatever. Whatever you do, you, buddy. It's not an exaggeration to say homofascist because the German Nazi party was homosexual. Hitler was a homosexual. The top Nazi leadership, all of them were homosexuals. It was a radical homosexual movement that gained political power, military power, and they were creating a homosexual special race. That's what it was all about. This story's from Right Wing Watch. This is Hitler on steroids! What a great start!

Can we all pause and just put that mental image in your mind for a second? Hitler's just all beefed out. He's like kissing his boss. He's all like vascular and shit.

Did you get your tickets to the gun show. No, really. The gun show starts in 30 minutes. We're going to use them to kill the Jews. Blitzkrieg. Hitler on steroids. I call this one to war machine Rick Wiles claims the US has secretly created super

soldiers without a soul well I'm agree with him about the without a soul bit I guess I was going to say like isn't that boot camp that's actually the't that boot camp? Yeah, right. Right. That's, that's actually the goal of boot camp.

If you're really good, man, how's that soldier? He's super. Yeah. He's a super, he's a super soldier. Five stars.

Now he's a general. So this is Rick Wiles from his show, True News. Mr. Putin has known for some time. Why are we calling him Mr. Putin? Are we on like a... I don't know. That should be like one of those sitcoms,

like Mr. Belvedere or whatever. There should be like an odd couple of Mr. Putin and Mr. Trump. Oh my God. That would be the greatest odd couple ever. There's like every night there's a Russian hooker peeing on him. Putin's got a Russian bear peeing on him.

It'd be great. He's just milking it. Milking. That we're doing something in Syria that nobody has ever seen before. What, ignoring the problem? Yeah. We're awesome at that. This is kind of our foreign policy. Get on board, Rick. nobody has ever seen before. But ignoring the problem. Yeah. This is kind of our foreign policy.

Get on board, Rick. Like we, this is exactly what we've done. Like for every conflict in Africa ever, right? Like, Oh, it looks like you're killing a lot of civilians. You need some help. You want to tag us?

Wait, are they poor and brown? Yeah, we don't care. There you go. Yeah, fuck them. Is it conceivable that we have bred soulless creatures? Republicans. Soldiers without a soul.

With no remorse. No conscience. No fear. No fear. You can go in. You can cut a baby in half. with no remorse, no conscience, no fear, no fear. You can go in, you can cut a baby in half. Okay. You can.

You can. Shut you. You know, you know, it's better to cut it in. Like you, you slice it into little, like a,

like a pie. Why would you cut it in half? You're going to eat half a baby? You know, the thing is they go bad so quickly. Yeah. You should put saran wrap. other half you spoil and you turn into a little swamp guys what's really funny is when you cut a bunch of babies in half and you swap out the halves you know like these little legs and wrong body and everything you can have some fun with

the key is you have to have no fear and no soul. But a lot of babies. Inexplicably, a lot of extra babies. I love too. He says they have no fear. They'll cut babies in half. Are you afraid of babies? You're talking about fear. What's that got to do with anything? I also like the idea of like, we should breed soldiers

that have remorse. Like, so go kill some people, but feel real fucked up. Wait, just, wait, fuck. Just, that's not what we were, okay. It's real sad all the time. They call it PTSD. You can cut out the hearts of Christians and eat them.

Why are you going to eat them? Oh my God. How hungry are these soldiers? Put what's in your MREs? Are you kidding me? They get one of those warming packs and they warm the heart up. You don't want to eat it whenever it comes out of the body. What are we having, Joe? Oh, fucking baby

hearts again. Is it a Christian? It's sweeter if they're Christian. There's no conscience. No fear. There's no fear of God. Is that what we have created? Have we turned these monsters loose in Syria? I don't know.

Maybe we created unicorns that shoot fucking fire rainbows out of their asses. We're just speculating about shit. Is this what we've done? No. There's no reason to think we've done this at all. The unicorn shit barrel bombs time. It's actually chlorine gas now. They don't let you use that one anymore.

Well, actually they do. You know, that's the problem. I guess that's true. Are the Russians now saying, we've got to stop this. This is Hitler on steroids. Why do we think the russians are saying that like the the russians are now responding to your imagined scenario like well what are the russians gonna do if this happens well this would have to happen first when did we care what the russians

had to say anyway yeah well yeah like my first concern if we've got soulless soldiers walking around eating people's hearts and cutting babies in half. This is going to piss the Russians off. I don't want to get a stern phone call. Yeah, right. That would suck. Did anyone check with the Russians before the super, super breeding program? Yeah, we checked with the Russians. Who do you think we're breeding to create these soulless monsters?

Who do you think gave us the steroids for Hitler? The Americans have become worse than the Nazis. Flip the script, Rick. If we knew Russia had super soldiers, wouldn't the U.S. do everything it could to stop them? Yes, because it's the end of humanity. Yes. Oh, my God. None of this is happening.

Okay. Now, Cecil, I have a question for you. If you knew that Russia had invented a super secret bomb that took all your money and then gave it to my ex-wife. Fuck! Fuck! All right, I'm there, Rick. I'm right there. Super secret.

It's not secret. It's court order. What are you talking about? I love that we're a minute and one second into this video, and he already has the end of humanity. Right? Like, how the fuck are we going to escalate this for the next minute and 13 seconds? We're done with hyperbole at that point.

If these things get loose, it's the end of humanity. Jesus said he— Well, don't let them get loose. You've got to put one of those kiddie backpacks on him. Put a muzzle on him. You've got to put a muzzle on your super soldier. Super soldier, like a smiling, fuzzy bear back. Hold him loose.

Why are we using this flimsy thing? Jesus Christ. He's got one of those little strappy things. It keeps running and it's elastic and he bounced back. Just breathing real hard. When he comes back, it's going to be as in the days of noah yes well what was going on in the days of noah they knew you were going to be in studio that's the thing that he joins in it's gonna be like the days of noah exactly hey guys now we're

gonna have to flood the whole fucking place again and that you said i don't replace the drywall in addition to the violence and the debauchery and the lewdness that was taking place in the world god and the golems come on the nephilim were here what wait this is the those are the half angel half humans yeah yeah from diablo yeah i remember this yeah okay are you are you fucking kidding me right now is he saying this man in a way that half angel, half humans. Yeah. Yeah. From Diablo. Yeah, I remember this. Yeah, okay. Are you fucking kidding me right now? Is he saying this in a way that he believes that this is true? Yes, he is saying that the problem that we're having now

is that angels are fucking humans and having angel-human Nephilim hybrids that are being turned into Hitlerian steroid-induced super soldiers. That's like, what? Like, that guy wakes up and says, I've got it. You know what it is?

Like, what the fuck is it like to be Rick Wiles? What is it like to sleep with Rick Wiles? Wait a minute. Patreon gold. Tom will sleep with Rick Wiles.

No, what the fuck? No. I will have a survey done. All we need is one more dollar on Patreon. Survey monkey. Survey monkey. One more dollar. Hold on, I got to jump on a survey done. All we need is one more dollar. Survey monkey. Survey monkey.

One more dollar. Hold on, I got to jump on Patreon right quick. Hold on. Can I just, like, an angel fucks a person and then they become soulless? Like, evil. Because angels are soulless? Yeah, angels don't have souls. They're evil.

Souls are reserved for humans, I think. Well, are they evil? They certainly were evil and i don't think i think uh god just has a thing against you know breeding outside your race anti-miscegenation yeah it's one of those things i think it's just a little thing god has the offspring of the fallen angels who bred with human women the nephilim we had giants in the land oh my god you cannot believe this you cannot believe it he did escalate from the end of humanity i'm impressed i didn't think he could do it are we talking about giants

like he believed this is true. He's going to get to the unicorns fart and barrel bombs before this is all over. We keep thinking we're joking. I thought I was joking when I said he was eating the babies. And no, the next thing is, yep, yep, eating the hearts of the Christians. There's no way. There is no way to exaggerate this guy. This guy is un-lampoonable.

And God said he regretted making the human race because. How do you have, I'm fucking. Yes. Thank you. Something. Oh, I didn't see that coming. Whoopsie doodle. I don't.

How could you not have. You can't regret what you knew and intended. You. Fuck. What? You know exactly how it was going to turn out. Seriously, though, like, like, that's not that hard

because you're the one who made, they're the ones who made the rules, right? They're the ones who said he's omniscient. They're the ones who said he's omnipotent. They make these claims all the time and then they'll say stupid shit like this and you just wait. You're like,

didn't you just think this through for half a second? That's like, you know, like being a fortune teller and beer be like yeah i just didn't want to play the lotto i just didn't feel like playing a lot of day i didn't feel like yeah all like all them psychics that don't want randy's million yeah exactly or yeah or whatever it is you know like the the whatever you know what whatever pseudoscience they want to try to get the millions with but i just like you're the ones who set up the rules. Like, you're the ones, I mean, they're doing the Randy test themselves. You could even get past this if you just get rid of the benevolence piece, right?

Because if you were omniscient, but you're like, yeah, but I kind of, I don't really care if it turns out poorly. You know, but like, he's also benevolent. Right. Yeah. Yeah, no, you can't have all of these things. If God is just a dick or a fuck up, this religion is really hard for us atheists. Right.

But yeah, if they try to throw on the omniscience and the omnipotence and everything, it's like, yeah, okay, now we can call bullshit. If you just had the religion of God, the douchebag, I wouldn't believe it, but I'd have a hard time arguing against it. I mean, like that. No, that explains parasites in your eyes. Yeah. He's like your incompetent nephew.

He doesn't have a job. He sleeps all day. Wait a minute. Why? Wait a minute. That's not my nephew. That's me. That's you.

Everything had been polluted. Everything. And only Noah was pure. I'm sitting with him. Oh, yeah. I believe it referred to his dna he was the only human his family they were the only ones left who their dna had not been polluted with nephilim dna it just takes a drop wait but this is this is how hitler started though like this is the whole

hitlerian thing to begin with you've got this completely backwards rick wiles you how hitler started though like this is the whole hitlerian thing to begin with you've got this completely backwards rick wiles you're hitler on steroids right like the whole concept of arianism was this whole the german blood is the pure blood yeah right yeah okay all right the only pure blood one he's the uber mensch right and he gets to kill all the rest but i mean if we're all the master race is any any of us the master race? You know, can't have a conversation with Tom without the master race coming up. God said, I got to kill it. I got to stop it. Got to start over. Got to hit the reset button. My friend, we're at the days of Noah. God is about to say enough is enough. The human race has got to end. I'm bringing my children home, and that's it.

You better get saved now. Jesus Christ is coming. I love the sales pitch at the end. I do. I do, too. The sales pitch at the end is so great. It's like, all right, all right. Are you scared of giants?

Yeah. Are you? You seem pretty fucking stupid. I'll tell you. Guys, giants are coming. There's a person barely cracking their door and looking out. There's 30 giants out there. Oh my God, my God, it's really tall.

There's giants. I saw a guy who was really tall. Fuck. I got to tithe or something. I love that line though. And there was giants in the land in them days. That's like right out of the Bible. Like that line is like straight out of the Bible. I love that line, though. And there was giants in the land in them days. That's like right out of the Bible. Like that line is like straight out of the Bible.

I love that line so much. You read that shit and it's like, oh, that's a fucking, there will be, there'll be monsters here on the map. You know what I mean? For sure. It's so ridiculous. Now, I've seen a lot of people who say that the reason they believed that giants existed at that time is because they had uncovered dinosaur fossils and mammoth fossils and shit

and like put them together wrong and made giants out of them. They're so like, oh, see, giants. So there actually was a reason to believe maybe that- This is some guy with giant T-Rex stilts walking around. Yeah.

Look what I can do, guys. Yeah. So, I mean, that's where they got the giants. Where they got that they were, you know, the results of horny angels I have no fucking idea there's no fossil record of that that I'm aware of like a fallen angel like oh man

fucking used to live in heaven but hey man there's plenty of pussy down here what's up bitches we had a guest on last week and briefly they were talking about mythicist Milwaukee and one of the things that they mentioned was mythicism in general We had a guest on last week and briefly they were talking about mythicist Milwaukee. And one of the things that they mentioned was mythicism in general.

I'm curious where you fall on that. Do you care at all when people have these debates about whether or not there was a historical Jesus or not a historical Jesus? I do, but not because of the Jesus thing, just more because of I crave intellectual consistency. Right. So we tell the people you are disappointed yeah no right but like we tell people constantly like you know if you hear somebody who's like really a hardcore evolutional evolution denialist and you're not an evolutionary biologist you might look at that guy and you're not able to argue that he's wrong you don't understand the science enough so we tell people constantly in skepticism, well, in those instances, you default to the experts, right? If you're not an expert

and the experts are all saying this, and one guy is saying the other thing, you default to the experts. Well, if you ask the historians, they're not buying the mythicism thing, right? So that's why I care is because I care about intellectual integrity within our movement. And I think that we, you know, here's something that we want to believe. You know, we don't have as much stake in this as the Christians do, obviously, but we want to believe that Jesus never existed because how fucking dumb does that make me look?

And how funny would that be? Oh, yeah. I love that idea. It's just the comedy of it would be great. Yeah, absolutely. So we have a desire for this to be true, which means we have to be all the more skeptical of it. Right.

Right. Absolutely. Yeah. And again, you know, I've said for a while when, when they convince the historians, they've got me.

I just don't understand why the question it's like, what if Jesus is real? Like, okay, well, if he wasn't magic, it doesn't matter. Well,

right. And that's the other thing is what are you asking there? Cause there was, you know, Jesus or Yeshua was the most common name at that time in Israel. So there was definitely a preacher or a priest named Yeshua that was saying some crazy apocalyptic shit. And that's all you need to say that Jesus existed. Right.

So, you know, like, yeah, like, I don't think anyone. Well, obviously, nobody in the atheist movement believes that Jesus existed and, you know, cast demons into pigs and all that shit. And walked on water or whatever. Yeah, right, right. But as far as there being a historical basis for the Jesus character, that's all but guaranteed. It's the best practical joke anybody ever played if he didn't exist. Like, it's literally, it's prank war zero. You know what I mean?

It's the zero edition. It's amazing. You see, there are demons in the earth. Read Matthew, Mark's Gospel, chapter five. There are demons all over where and Jesus cast out demons when he walked the earth. This story is also from Right Wing Watch.

This is Liz Crokin. She claims that she knows 100% that a video of Hillary Clinton sexually abusing a child exists. We talked about this last week on the show. We're just like, I love how they're teasing you. Like, we're going to release it, but we're not going to release it right away.

We got to wait till Tuesday. That's when new release movies come out. I feel like if they're teasing me with a sexual video, like, they've got my taste wrong here. This is a weird foreplay I guess it would be hard. This is a weird foreplay. It would not be hard.

Yeah. This is a very weird foreplay. Although I will say the teaser trailer was pretty good. Coming soon to a theater. What the fuck? It's like it makes you wonder if Hawkeye's even in this one. It's great. It's good.

You know land. All right. So here we go. I love too that she's 100% sure. Yeah. Because I'm not 100% sure I exist. I'm like 99.9. But I've got my doubts.

All right, so this is Liz coming live to you from her kitchen. I know with absolute certainty there is a tape that exists that involves Hillary Clinton sexually abusing a child. Okay? Research Kathy O'Brien.

Kathy O'Brien wrote a book and has many interviews. Why is she talking to me? It has a patronizing tone. She's doing that sing-songy tone. Why don't you already know about Kathy O'Brien, you stupid motherfucker? Well, I'm sorry. Is her argument here she wrote a book so it's true?

Well, no. She wrote a book that had interviews. Oh, it also did interviews. Oh, okay. Come on, Noah. That's how evidence works, Noah. Why? Who got this guy in the studio?

Jesus. You just came outside. You saw me fucking Noah-sickling outside. I was worried because you waited three extra minutes and like, you could freeze solid. Let's get many speeches talking about how Hillary Clinton molested her. Did they put it on tape? Is this the tape you're talking about? I don't understand. She wrote a book

and then she also has a tape. Did they just make a movie out of the book? Okay. Yeah. But watch this. Hillary Clinton molested me. You can say anything it? Okay. Yeah, but watch this. Hillary Clinton molested me. You can say anything, it turns out. That's not how true works.

Now, there is a video that proves this. And I have gotten this confirmed from very respectable and high level sources. Oh, my God. Look, guys. All the high level sources that are calling Liz. You can't call bullshit on this. I'm very sorry. She has high level sources. Oh my God. Look guys. All the high level sources that are called Liz. You can't call bullshit on this. I'm very sorry.

She has high level sources. They're also respectable. Yeah. And that's important because if you can't respect them. Like I don't know that one. I don't you know. I don't respect them. They can call me in the morning. What the fuck? Is that a video of fucking Hillary

Clinton fucking a baby? we call liz croken did somebody jesus crack it let's don't release it to the press yeah call it whatever you don't don't like put it up on youtube or share it on facebook don't do any of that make sure liz is on the phone liz are you in your kitchen? Sit down. You're not going to believe this. I know you're making a brown Betty, but this is important. I guarantee. So what we're seeing right now is a

painting in her kitchen. And I guarantee it says on it, eat, pray, love. I guarantee. Or like live, laugh, like love or something. Yeah, some shit on there something you picked learn is scratched off you picked up at hobby lobby or something you know it's like it's like you're standing in the aisle and you're like which one of these pithy mass-produced statements most

speaks to me pray live laugh or life laugh love, love. That's what I want. Now, in the past few days, there's been a huge push from the mainstream media claiming that it's really easy to manipulate videos, especially, you know, porn videos, and they claim that there was a- Especially porn videos. I'll tell you what. Nothing CGI's in better than a dick.

I'll tell you. I can put dicks anywhere. It's like unicorn people walking around. Just bobbling around. Some poor video editor slaving away. God, I wish this was poor to be so much easier. God damn it. On a serious note, did you guys see that Jordan Peele thing

where he talks for Obama? Did you see this? No, I haven't. So Jordan Peele released a Facebook video or a regular video the other day, and it starts out with just Obama saying a bunch of shit. And if you listen carefully

and you recognize it, you could tell it's someone impersonating him. But he sounds enough like him. So at first you might be fooled. And he says something like, you know, Trump is shithouse crazy or something like that. And then the screen cuts and it's Jordan Peele and the computer generated Obama. And he's saying, you've really got to trust your sources nowadays. He's still talking like Obama the whole time. And so Obama's still gesticulating and he's still doing the sort of slow Obama pace of his speech.

And he's saying you got to trust your news sources and you can fake things now relatively easily and convince people of things that people might have never even said. And so they're cutting this apart. And it is true that it is easy to manipulate stuff. People like this don't want to if it ruins their narrative, they don't want to believe that. They don't want to believe that something like that could, I mean, first off, there's some weird motherfucker out there making a sex video of Hillary Clinton. Like, that's a weird niche.

That's a niche video. There's not a lot of people that are, I mean, I'll subscribe, but not a lot of people. Not a lot of people are going to put that on. Turns out Bill wouldn't even subscribe. Not a lot of people are going to put that on the RSS feed. I like them lonely though menopausal and lonely

those are the best pornographic video that came out where Hillary they photoshopped Hillary Clinton into it I don't believe that was actually a real video that came out I believe that they're saying this to plant the seeds of doubt.

She's confusing the fuck out of herself here. This is so great. I don't believe that's a... Fuck, I do believe that. Shit. I do believe that's not a plus video,

minus shit. Double my negative and then I carry the four. Ha! This goddamn new mail! Damn common core! For when and if the actual video of Hillary Clinton abusing, sexually abusing

child comes out, the seeds of doubt are already planted in people's heads. You have evidence in your mind that the video exists. Why is there an if? Well, and beyond that, like, we don't... Okay, so if there really was a video

of Hillary Clinton sexually abusing a child, it's not like they'd put it on YouTube. We wouldn't see the fucking thing, right? We wouldn't share it around. They wouldn't show it on the news. Have you seen this baby getting fucked? Yeah, right? Who's hovering around Hillary Clinton while she's fucking a kid

with a cell phone? Hold on. No, look over your shoulder while you're raping that child. Yeah, no, turn their dead head toward me. I just want to know, like, so in her world... And you know it's a portrait video, and you know, it's a portrait video,

right? It's not even going to be landscape. And it's one of those shaky ones. Add it into a vine. You edit it into a vine. It's only six seconds. I can't even pop it six seconds. Yes,

you can. Oh, come on. I got to run it on a loop. Twice. I go twice. Now Q talks about one video in particular, and he says 5-5,

and I believe 5-5 is code for loud and clear, which means that it'll be undeniable that what she's doing is just... Well, Q says that... This is that Q Anon thing. Oh, my God. This is that anonymous person or whatever. The most valuable sources are always

anonymous internet sources whose names even on the internet are anonymous. Are you fucking kidding me? Well, some random person online once said that there's a video that hasn't surfaced. Are you fucking kidding me right now? Someone online

said something. Okay, so she's got an anonymous source who used a code that she's pretty sure means. Jesus Christ. This is how she gets to 100%, guys. At the end of this equation, she's going to be at 100%. Amazing.

You're right. There are a few variables. Yeah, right. She's not solving for us. You guys, we are a minute and 26 seconds in. She's putting the pieces together. She's laying out her case. Liz Crokin's national treasure.

What's going to happen? She's going to pull back that painting and the video's going to come back. What's actually going to happen in a couple of minutes, her door's going to open and people are going to walk in with letters after letters after letters. And then Santa Claus is real. I are going to walk in with letters after letters after letters. And then Santa Claus is real. I don't know.

And then Bozo Buck. You can't defend it. It's indefensible and it brings out a lot of people. Brings out a lot of people. It's indefensible and that's why it brings out a lot of people. Well, it's also indefensible

and that's why you can't defend it. I love that she had to specify those two things. Because I looked that word up and I want you guys to know too what it means. Smart people say five syllables. I don't know

if the video that Q keeps talking about and Q talks about releasing is the sexual abuse video. All I know is that 100% a video of Hillary Clinton sexually abusing a child exists how do you know you just you literally just said you don't know the video that your source has is this video you haven't named another your fucking first source i can't this i can't any

of this how are you using those 100% is the big number that means all of it do you not know that that means all of it she's already looked up indefensible she can't look up 100% that's not very much right that's like it's about like mostly pretty sure I got a high

degree of confidence this is hurting my head now is that the one that Q's going to release? I don't know. And I don't think the deep state knows either. Who knows? Who has the video? Okay, hold on, guys.

Guys, nobody else knows, but I'm 100% sure. Even your made-up people don't know. You can't even make up people that have this made up thing. You can't even make up a person. It's what is somebody like hang gliding above the white house with a fucking SD card. Can God make a rock? He can't lift,

but I do know there's many videos. And as Q has said, they brought phones to the island, Epstein's Island, alright? Shutter Island? They brought phones with them. They were walking around like tweens recording

their entire adventure at Epstein's Island. You know what? That baby you're fucking is going to look adorable with his little dog nose on it. I can't get the right filter. Hold on. What's a baby filter?

Well, that's weird. When he screams, it looks like he's barking. Look at that. Oh, my God. Oh, it's adorable. I haven't seen the video, by the way. I don't know what's in it. I love the idea that somebody has it and they're just like, I don't seen the video by the way I don't know what's in it I love the idea that somebody has it

and they're just like I don't know I haven't released it yet I gotta go to work guys I'm in the middle of Zelda I'll do it after I'm done that I get that's a good fucking Zelda you gotta build the suspense it's like they've already finished Avengers

but it's not out yet are Are you saying that Avengers doesn't? You're right. Because people aren't going to care about Hillary fucking a kid on video unless you build the suspense. You sell it right. Yeah, you've got to do a couple talk shows. Yeah, exactly. I have this video worth basically infinite money.

Right? No kidding, right? Who's that? If you're like, hey, New York Times got this video of New York Times, you can have the company. kidding, right? Who's that? Like, if you're like, hey, New York Times, got this video of New York Times, like, you can have the company. Yeah, right. You can call it Tom Times. You can call it, you could just print a picture of your erection every day. It's just like, that's it.

Yeah. On the funnies, it'll be in the funnies. The obituary. Yeah, not on Sunday. I'm in the classifieds. I only bought five lines of text. I got three to spare. And your phones can video record you even when you're, I believe even when your phone is off. What?

Do you really believe that? Hello. Hello, Apple. Hello. Most of the time, it's just your pocket. Hello, Apple. Hello. Most of the time, it's just your pocket. Yeah, right. Hey, why does my battery keep dying? And there's some asshole

who's going through all the footage like, Jesus, nine hours of pocket. Can I fast forward through this, Mark Zuckerberg? No. There's one person assigned to you. Can I fast forward through this, Mark Zuckerberg? No! You have to watch it all. There's one person assigned to you. It just takes one person.

You have to watch all your footage. And they're just, at the end of the first day, they're eating a gun. But then there's a guy watching all of his footage. And then there's a guy watching all of his footage. And it's like, fuck. There's just like one person in the world who's not watching it's like a Russian nesting doll footage

oh god this is the dumbest shit I've heard in my entire life somebody said recently there was a reddit article where some guy tried to say out loud because he said Alexa's always listening to you right, it's what he said

and he tried to say out loud on his computer Alexa's always listening to you, right? That's what he said. And he tried to say out loud on his computer. I forget. Maybe it was computer. I forget. Something was always listening is what he said. And so what he did was he said he never talked or never searched for dog toys before, but he held up a thing that said

what he was going to talk about dog toys. And then he says dog toys and has a fake conversation about it. And then he searches the toys and has a fake conversation about it. And then he searches the internet and dog toys was one of the things that pop up. But the funny- I probably bought the dog toy online like a week before. Well, what's funny is,

what's funny is, is that he searches the same sites beforehand and there's no dog toy ads. And then he does it again and a dog toy ad comes up and he says there's no dog toy ads. But I go to the comments and the first comment is,

you didn't pay attention, but on that first site you opened, there was a dog toy ad comes up and he says, there's no dog toy ads, but I go to the comments. And the first comment is you didn't pay attention, but on that first site you opened, there was a dog toy ad. So it was already a dog toy ad. And then he opened up five other browsers and he clicked on that dog toy ad and it polluted all the rest of them. So when he went through it, so the control and the way he did it was all off. And it also just doesn't make any sense. Right. It's so much easier for companies to pay attention to what you're typing, what you click, because that's easy to control instead of having some person or some computer going through the hours of mindless garbage or talking with, you know, your wife or your friends who come over to try to pick out keywords to sell to you. Well, and then to assume that if you say those words, it means that you want to buy that thing.

Look, Alexa is always listening to you. They do take snippets of your conversations and stuff, but it's, you know, at least from what they say, it's to like make it better at understanding different accents, et cetera, et cetera. But yeah, the idea that there's just some dude or some computer programmer going, hmm, they're sure talking about kitty litter a lot.

Let's change those ads up. Exactly. That's some paranoid shit. It really, it really is. But, but we're having this, this conversation now and we're seeing that like,

we're seeing this person here saying your phone records you all the time. And then, you know, like something's always listening to you. There has to be somebody to crunch that data. There has to be a human being or some sort of advanced computer that's able to figure that like, we just don't have that or

it's not even worth using on this particular thing to sell you a different brand. Right, right. Yeah, that's that's the thing is that you've got to imagine that there is this trillion dollar data crunching operation trying to push the fucking dog bone. So squeaky bone. Yeah, okay, hold on

hold on. The margin on those dog bones. You guys don't know. You know they chew right through them. You gotta go buy another one. No, I get it. Consumables. Money is always in consumables. The NSA can videotape you, can record you.

Anyone can videotape you. You don't have to. It's not even illegal in a public place. You can just follow Liz around Hang the fuck on The NSA then Is the one who has the Hillary video

Which Right The NSA is like Oh boy Give it to QAnon online Don't tell our boss Donald Trump. There's a picture of Mark Zuckerberg sitting at his

computer and there's masking tape over where the camera is. Why would Mark Zuckerberg? He knows. He knows the NSA. You know you're on YouTube right now, right? Liz, you know you're literally on YouTube. We're watching YouTube right now, right? Liz, you know you're literally on YouTube.

We're watching you right now, Liz. I would love it if she just, the next video, she just comes asking people over the camera. You hear like a muffled voice in the background. And Heath is jerking off. Yeah, right. You got to listen to all the shows.

It's all the shows. It's spying on us. He knows the deep state is spying on us. They're recording everything that we do. As Q says, we see you, we hear you, we can hear you breathe. How boring. Oh, God.

How boring. Some juice chops. Is Liz still breathing? Yeah, listen to it right now. Like, like. Like 95% is like, honey, I don't do the dishes. We don't watch Game of Thrones tonight.

Nothing we ever talk about means anything. All of our conversations are but null minutia as we wait to die. That's all of it. It's so funny when people are like, man, but they could see me. I'm just thinking, man, you know, if I walk out of the bathroom and I need to get my underwear, they're seeing something they don't know.

Nobody wants to see it. My wife turns. Are you kidding me? This is America. Yeah. Like that. It's like, fuck. Oh, Jesus.

There's like a bank of fucking TVs and just like fucking waving their arms. Fuck. No. No. Why do I have to watch the South? Oh, my God. and just like fucking waving their arms at them all. Like, fuck, no, fuck, no. Why do I have to watch the South? Oh my God. That woman's ass is eating her jorts.

I can't get a sign to Beverly Hills? Are you kidding me? So there's tons of videos that I'm sure are incriminating many bad actors and there's much evidence on Hillary Clinton. And I'm sure are incriminating many bad actors and there's much evidence on Hillary Clinton and I'm sure there's many I know there's many videos incriminating her many videos now there's many

she knows it she's been fucking kids on video this whole time y'all she gets new videographers she's not happy with the last one the lighting's a little off wasn't so good asshole did this portrait not happy with the last one. The lighting's a little off. It wasn't so good. A little pedestrian on that last one.

We want to go avant-garde. You know, I don't feel like the baby's heart was really in it. I hate the baby's heart. The baby's heart literally wasn't in the baby. That's what I'm saying. I just don't know which one they're going to release. Why would they release them all? Why do they have to make a baby. That's what I'm saying. I just don't know which one they're going to release. Why would they release them all?

Why do they have to have to make a choice? That's Sophie's choice. They killed all the kids. And we're going to get a naughty secretary of state three or something. What? I love this video. This is the best video we've ever covered. But there are people people there are claims that

this sexual abuse video is on the dark web and I know that some people have seen it. Some are law enforcement. The NYPD law enforcement. Isn't NYPD always law enforcement? Is there ever a time when NYPD isn't law enforcement?

Why would NYPD even have muslims? They're a whole different animal then. Why would they have jurisdiction over the dark web anyway? Also, did they watch the video and they're like, who's this old lady fucking this kid? I mean, she was only our senator.

Red pants suit. Wait a minute. She looks familiar. Oh no, let's go kill a black no. Let's go kill a black guy. They'll only shoot him a couple of times or whatever. Hold him down until he can't breathe. I don't know which one it was. There's so many.

I forget. The thing is, it's yes. Yeah. All of the above. Secret answer D. NYPD officers have seen it and it made them sick. It made them cry. It made them vomit. It made them vomit.

Some of them had to seek psychological counseling. Some of them should have sought out the video to get it to someone at all. Someone should have sought out the perpetrator. This guy just can't even like

he's looking at this thing. He's like, oh my God, is that Hillary Clinton? And then he's like got his cell phone out recording it in portrait so he can send it to us. Like what?

How hard is this? It's like, it's like, it's like on the web on the web too so and like but it's a dark web nobody's ever copied a video anywhere the dark web is in new york which borough brooklyn no no no staten island yeah staten island definitely staten island after this okay so there are people that are reporting that in this video, I'm not going to go into too much detail because it's so disgusting. At least go into a little, just a little. But in this video, they cut off a child's face. What?

What? Wait, wait. One was too much detail, though. One was, where is she not going? What did they do with it? Did he put it on? He's like,

I have some fava beans and I'm just a triot. Oh my, it doesn't fit. They put it on John Travolta. You fuck me, I fuck me. Get the fuck out of here. You cut the face of a baby off. A baby doesn't look horrified enough.

Cut its face off. Jesus Christ. Why? It's like, just because I fucking cut its face off. See if that helps. It's like eating veal cheeks. As a child's life. And I'm just going to leave it at that.

You don't need. Thank goodness. Thank goodness you stopped there, Liz. Oh, that would have been difficult to hear. She would have gone into detail. I would need psychological. I'd be like any psychological counseling after would need psychological. I'd be like, I need psychological counseling after that fucking shit.

I feel like Liz Stroken could use a little. Jesus. So, Tom, let's take a few seconds to talk about our sponsor, our wonderful sponsor, adamandeve.com.

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So go there now. This search from also from Ring Wing wing watch Jesse Lee Peterson blasts, stupid white people who try to prevent two bad blacks from being arrested at Starbucks. So that's a weirdly redundant thing to say, right? Stupid white people. Oh,

okay. It doesn't matter which one you pick though. We're going to get messages regardless. I can't believe you pick, though. I know. We're going to get messages regardless. I can't believe you guys pick it on white people. Oh, don't worry. All the messages will be about me fucking with the mythicists.

I can't wait for those. Oh, I got 400 of them when I brought it up on the show. I'm forwarding them all to you. So this is Jesse Lee Peterson. I got to warn you ahead of time. He has a speech impediment that is due to a cleft palate.

So we will not, Tom, be making fun of how he speaks. I'm just letting Noah know. So Noah doesn't make any off-color jokes based on... When you said that, that's not letting Noah know. Apparently, these two black guys there in Philadelphia went into a Starbucks. Now, I don't know. I can't be sure if that's a speech

impediment or if he doesn't know how to say Starbucks. Or maybe he went into a Starbucks. A bus that goes to the star. Or full of stars. Hillary Clinton could have been on there. She's killing a baby in the back. I'm not going to make fun of that. stars. Hillary Clinton could have been on there. She's killing a baby in the back.

I'm not going to make fun of that. He said Tom wasn't allowed to make fun of it. He only said that Tom wasn't allowed to make fun of it is all I heard. It's a star bus. Okay, here we go. And they just sat there, according to the story. And they did not order anything. They just sat there and sat there and sat there.

And according to the story, the manager... People do that at Starbucks all the time. People write books. When Haley and I were hiring wedding photographers, we met every wedding photographer we were going to interview. We actually met them all at the same Starbucks at their request, and not one of them bought anything. They wouldn't even let me buy them anything.

People use Starbucks as a place to meet and do business all the time. I've had people recruit other people from a Starbucks. You go to Starbucks because that's what Starbucks wants you to do. They sell. I had a friend that worked there they said they sell Starbucks they call it like the third place or something yeah right like homework Starbucks they want it to be a destination

for you to meet that guy from Craigslist and sell a thing because the more you're there the more likely you are to impulse buy and stay there for a while and get a car that's their fucking model yeah right every time you walk by a Starbucks there's like car. That's their fucking model. Yeah, right. Every time you walk by a Starbucks, there's like six people there

writing their novels or whatever. You can tell because they're all on a MacBook. That's how you know. It's interesting because they wound up I don't know, did you guys see the video of this when they called the police on the black guys? Did you see this? No, I didn't. These two black guys are just sitting in there and then they call the police. The good thing is

that there was a bunch of people in the Starbucks. the Starbucks like, why the fuck are you hassling these two black guys? There's no reason for you to hassle them. They're just sitting here. They're not doing anything. They're waiting for their third friend. You know, how many times have you been like, well, I don't want to order anything. Maybe my friend wants to go. Maybe they want to stay.

I don't want to order anything. I'm going to wait until they get here. They're running a few minutes late. Why? Why would you call the police on somebody like that? And the best part is that the people that were in that Starbucks, they were videotaping and saying, what the fuck is wrong with you?

You're doing this because they're black. Yeah, I heard that. Yeah, I read that. Finally went over and told them they had to leave because you can't go into a business and just sit around. You totally can at Starbucks. That's the one. I've seen, you ever go into a Barnes & Noble

and you just see that, well, Barnes & Noble exists now and you go and see them like reading books. Like people just go in there and just pick a book up and just... I love the idea

that you can't go to a store and not buy something. Like every time you are... You ever go shopping and been like, you know, they don't have what I want. Happens all the time.

Right? How many of you go to a car dealership like, fuck, if I go, I have to buy it. The police will show up. This sucks. And then beyond that, like what about like a fucking mall?? Like, fuck, if I go, I have to buy it. The police will show up. This sucks. And then beyond that, like, what about like a fucking mall? That's a business.

You can go in there and, you know, people go in there and just like walk around and shit to get their exercise and stuff. There's plenty of businesses you can go in and not buy shit. Businesses want that. Yeah. That is part of them. I mean, not if you're black. Yeah. All right.

You got me there. You got me there. You're in business to make business to make money. Are you in business to make business? Hold on a second. You're kicking ass at it then. You're in business to make business

to make money. Oh my God. I just want to say I'm not going to make fun. No, don't. No. I wouldn't expect that of you, Tom. This man has a, I just want to say, I'm not going to make fun. No, don't. No. I wouldn't expect that of you, Tom. As an, as an unrelated aside, this man has a radio show.

Okay. That's his job. Not a blog. You know, not a blog, a radio show. He is in business. To make business. to make business.

And you know what, buddy? It's business time. Not to have someone come in a little silly. And so according to the story, which I'm reading now, and I don't know the details of, even though it's a simple

fucking story very slowly they they wouldn't leave and so they called the police the police showed up and asked them to leave and they still would not leave probably because they weren't fucking doing anything wrong

they felt aggrieved by the injustice of being hassled you have to wonder if like in this climate part of it is like, you know what? This is obviously egregious and people are going to videotape it and I'm willing to. Yeah. I'm not. It's not. They had to. You have to think like I'm very unlikely to go to actual jail. They did go to actual jail for nine

hours and then they were released. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. They didn't get arrested for it and they didn't. Nobody pressed charges. But here's the thing. Here's the key thing here. The fact that they refused to leave is the reason why the cops drug them out of there is the reason why we have video of it's the reason why we know about it and it's the reason why starbucks is closing 8 000 stores for a day to do uh racial sensitivity training yeah exactly and amazing response yeah yeah absolutely absolutely although i have a feeling it's

gonna piss off a lot of people who want a latte. They'd have to walk another block to find a Starbucks that was open. I'm one of those people. But I think that's the key, though, right? Like he's saying, why wouldn't you just leave? Well, obviously, because you're trying to underscore this racial injustice in the world. And clearly it worked. Yeah, because blacks have been taught now that they do not have to respect the authority of police, of the police. Yeah, but it was the police that taught

them that. It's true. And this has been in the making for years now by the race hustlers. They've been telling black youth that cops are against you because of your color. And whenever they stop you or deal with

you, it's because of that. No, it's only very, very likely that it's because of that. It could it's only very, very likely that it's because of that. It could also be... No, it's actually, it's always that. It's almost always that. It's not that they don't stop you because you're black. They shoot you because you're black. They stop white people. They just let us go afterwards.

And because most blacks are already angry at their mothers. What? Didn't that just... What? Did you skip ahead? No, I don't think so. Most blacks are angry at their mothers.

Okay, now let's see if he has a reason why. What if you're a black mother? And because most blacks are already angry at their mothers and yearning for their fathers. I feel like this guy is projecting. I think he's doing what, sexually? It's like a weird, that's not Oedipus complex. It's like gay electro complex.

That's that racism though. Like, you know, like the all black people don't grow up without a father. They believe that lie. That the cops are after them. And so, years and years, I've been saying for a long time that blacks are being, not all, not all, not all, but most, are being brainwashed

to watch out. And the race hustlers want them like this because it's money and power for them. Wait, what? I don't understand how you get money and power by that. Okay, so step one is racism. Okay. Step two is profit. Profit.

Okay. No, I think there's a bunch of question marks after two, and then three is profit. Right, right. Yeah, exactly. I thought in the 1860s we tried to put a stop to that process. Right. We didn't do it very well.

I'm just saying we tried. We tried. We made an effort. And they're only worth three-fifths what they used to be worth no but like I don't understand the problem I genuinely don't understand how you get money and power that way from

race baiting or whatever no like he's saying the people are trying to say that blacks are being racially profiled how do you make money by saying black people are being racially profiled I How do you make money by saying black people are being racially profiled? I don't, I don't understand that. I don't get it.

Do you understand it? No. Okay. No. Maybe there's maybe like, it's a guy who's selling like a white skin spray. He's got mine. D bronzer.

Oh God. Not another college campus full of people in white face. This Halloween is shitty again. Yik yak ya. So these guys, according to the report, were asked to leave by the cops. They would not leave.

Radio show, guys. Radio show. Hold on. Listen to this string of words. I'm trying. Listen to this string of words. I'm trying. Listen to this string of words. So these guys, according to the report,

were asked to leave by the cops. They would not leave. Why is cops two words? They would not leave. That's awesome. Cops is two words. They're two syllables. They're two syllables.

We don't have a break. I think he realized there was two like halfway through. It's like, oh, it's a couple of them. All right. One of them, I was told that actually use the bathroom. They said, no, you can't use the bathroom. It's for customers only. No.

At Starbucks, I cannot tell you how many shits I've taken at Starbucks. Well, I walk in. I walk right back out. I'm like, all right, there's poop there. I got to go. I'll tell you, the ones in New York, though, they're pretty damn strict. I would imagine Philly's the same way. Like, you have to have a code off your receipt to open the bathroom door.

You don't in Chicago. In almost every Starbucks I've been to in New York. How many times have you gone into a place to use the restroom and they said, no, it's for customers only. I've done that so many times. Well, not so many times. But you're black though.

That's the thing. That's what we're talking about, Jesse. Does he know he's black? I don't think he does. Does he know he's black? How many hotels do you go to the bathroom?

Oh, that's my jam. That's the place to go, right? If you're driving down the road and you're driving from, say, on an interstate and you got to take a dump, you go to a hotel because it's clean and there's not many people in there.

They're clean and private. That's a great idea. I got taught that trick when I was in outside sales and I have used it since I was 20 years old. An old man was like, stop in. He's like, you can get Wi-Fi, a cup of coffee and use the bathroom. And I'm like, God, I can't wait until I have to take a shit again.

That's an awesome idea. And you just go to the Hilton Garden Inn or whatever and just pull in and they don't know if you're a customer or not. They have no idea. They don't care. And they also don't care. They want traffic. But I've done that. Okay, no idea. They don't care. And they also don't care. They want traffic. But I've done that.

Okay, thank you. No problem. And then I shit on their doorstep. That's what I do. I mean, honestly, if a place turns me away and it's empty or whatever, I just piss in front of the place. Fucking A. Just pull down and drop trowel. I'm not sure what the purpose of this anecdote is.

Sometimes they'll let me poo there and other times they don't. Okay? Yeah. I don't know what that does for your argument here. But they didn't let them use the bathroom because it's for customs only. Customs only.

Customs only. I have one shit to declare. Sounds like he's short-circuiting. I declare this shit. You put a flag in it. I used a little cocktail umbrella. I claim this pool. These guys said they were waiting for someone else to come.

I don't know if they showed up or not. What if they saw the cops were resting their hands? Yeah, right. I would just go. I'd be like, oh, Tom's getting arrested. I'm recording some other night. Hey, thanks, by the way. Solid fucking darity. It's amazing.

And then there are white people in this place, Starbucks. They were driving. They got to sit in the front of the Starbucks. Wheels were going round and round. You're only a C-list celebrity.

Back of the bus. And they were like according to report eagle eagle eagerly happy eaglely

I don't even know he's going for there eagerly I gotta hear that again and they were like according to report eagle eagle

eagerly happy. Radio show. Wait, eagerly happy? Like, that doesn't even make sense. Why would you try so hard for a word that doesn't even make fucking sense? You can't be eagerly happy. Oh, my God. To assist the black people.

Calling it racism. Saying to the cops, why are you arresting them? It's because they're black. White people who do this, you're stupid. Admittedly, I can say eagerly. You rarely have a problem.

Touche, motherfucker. And you rarely have a problem. Touche, motherfucker. And you rarely have a problem with the cop. It's like he's getting deflated. He's like, cops. Because you're only encouraging black people to hate you even more so. Why? How? I don't know. How? Why?

I don't know. And I'm not doing it. Like, here's what you don't understand. I'm not doing it so someone likes me. I'm doing it because it's injustice, right? Right. You're not doing it because I want to make somebody feel happy. I'm doing it because any type of injustice, you should always fight, period. It's altruism.

And even if it's not, it's just fucking self interest. Right. Yeah, exactly. Because I could be the person who they're going to go after next. Right. I love the idea that like... Not you. But somebody browner than you. I love the idea that like, well, black people are going to think that, oh,

that's how black people... Hey. Ring that up. This is what the blacks do. Huh. Okay, let's not try to sound racist next. That'd be weird. By pandering to them, pretending to love them. What if you actually did love them?

No, I say it all the time. I love the blacks. Going along with them when they're wrong, you're making them hate you even more. So they're not going to love you for that. It's amazing. I have yet to see people protesting

and rallying around good black people. I keep thinking he's done, right? He's like, I've never seen people. I'm like, I feel like you have. I feel like, oh wait, there's more. When things happen to good blacks, it's always

the bad blacks. Oh my gosh! What? I feel like that could stand on its own. I'm not sure what I had to. I kind of want to leave that alone. Good blacks, bad blacks conversation. Well, the bad ones will just go into your Starbucks,

shit their all fucking day. Not order a coffee. This is like that racist guy who's like, you know there's black people and there's n-words. Yeah, right. That's basically what he's saying. And bad things. And that's because good black people

are not getting in trouble. They're doing the right thing. They don't pee on the carpet. They don't sit in Starbucks. They know they're not allowed. They know they're not allowed. They're not uppity. That is kind of the message, right?

And by kind of, I mean, that's precisely the message. They? And by kind of, I mean, that's precisely the paraphrase of the message. They're following the laws of their hearts and the laws of the land. They're raising their children. They're working. They're building businesses. They're respecting their neighbor. They're treating their

others as they would like to be treated. So that's most people. That's just like how most people are. Almost all the people. Yeah, well done, bro just like how most people are. Almost all the people. Yeah. Yeah. Well done, bro. You can't call him bro.

You're not black. Oh, that's racist. Jesus. When you say it, it's bra. There's an H at the end. And that's why you don't see it happening to bad blacks. So these godless blacks and white liberals of their father the devil,

they have to go out and stir up and use the bad black people. Oh my God. Wait, so Satan is the father of the liberal whites and the bad blacks? The bad blacks too. Not the all blacks,

the bad blacks. It's a different team, a rugby team That was kind of amazing That was amazing, wasn't it? That was amazing, radio show Just radio show You know what I'm going to do for a living, mom?

You can be anything Not that Shit Can't you be a writer? Yeah, but not at a fucking Starbucks okay so Noah what kind of podcast

you got going on these days we've got we've got quite a few at this point which one's your favorite well the scathing atheist is my

you know like people say it's like bullshit I'm just like asking who your favorite kid is and everybody's like well I don't know

fuck you you have a favorite kid you know good and damn well you have a favorite kid it's usually the first one. Honestly, the reason I like skating so much is because I can do whatever the fuck I want on that one and the other ones have rules and I have to talk about

different shit, but that's where I can go wherever the hell I want. We've got god-awful movies. If you're a big fan of Christian movies, then we have no use for you, but if you hate them, we've got a great show on that. The Skeptocrat, in case you like people laughing and talking about politics. If you like that,

I can't imagine why you're listening to this show. And, of course, the newest in the batch there, Citation Needed. Oh, it's a great fucking show. I will say, of all the shows we do, that's the one I have the most fun recording. Because I haven't burned out on it yet.

I'll tell you, even there even if even during the the long essay weeks it'll be like two essays and you'll be working but the records are always fun the records are always fun and i and the best part is i think that that really does show in that show um because we're always laughing we're always having a good time with it yeah and i just want to say to anybody who hasn't checked out citationitation Needed yet, fuck you. We're working our asses off over here, people. It's more Tom. It's more Cecil. What the fuck? What do you want from us? And we're going to be having a live show, I think, soon. We're going to be announcing that eventually. We're going to be having a live show of that relatively soon because we did meet our goal on Patreon. Yeah. Super excited about that. If you're interested

in checking Citation Needed Out and any of other Noah's other podcasts you check out this episode show notes all the links will be there Noah thanks for joining us hanging out with us

it was a lot of fun the glory hole man it was really fun and hey Tom congratulations man oh thank you very much I appreciate that he got through that entire clip

without making fun of his accent good for you yeah congratulations Tom congratulations without making fun of his accent. Good for you. Yeah. Congratulations, Tom. Congratulations. So we want to thank our patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank our most recent patrons,

Krista, Sandra, Matt, Bosnic Fangirl. I don't know about that. That's disgusting. It's gross. Anna, thank you, though. Bake, Jaker, Jahi, and Casey.

Thanks so much for your generous donations. We really do appreciate it. You guys are the reason Gloryhole Studios exists. Thank you for donating to the show. Got a few emails here we want to get through. We were talking about patriarchy shirts, Tom, and we got several really good comments about patriarchy shirts. We got some awesome suggestions.

And one we are definitely going to do. So we'll tell you the definite one later on. But the first one is from Tad and Tad says patriarchy t-shirt idea is Trump putting the P back in patriarchy and P is spelled with two E's.

Nicely done. Big fan of that one. Not bad. Dan sent one in that would get you slugged. I love his preface. He says, I'll wear this as a suicide note to the next Women's March. Patriarchy, giving feminists something to complain about between making sandwiches. That's so bad. Oh, you'd die.

I'd fight you for that one. Are you kidding me? That one is really bad. Yeah. So thanks, Dan. What's on the sandwich? Yeah, that's true. We got another idea, a t-shirt idea from Greg.

Greg says, the front, I love it when you call me Big Papa. On the back, it says, support the patriarchy. That was pretty awesome too. Pretty good. I like that one. We got a bunch of questions about this, a bunch of messages. Some people called in.

Last week on the show, we talked about the Puckle Gun and how the Puckle Gun was a multiple shot gun, but unwieldy, took a long time. You had to prime each barrel. It was in the 1700s, but it's not a gun that is a rapid fire gun. And the problem is,

is that a bunch of people were like, hey, but there were multiple, multiple barrel firearms here and they're sending in flintlocks with a ton of different like firing mechanisms in them. Here's the point that we want to make is that the people who envision

the Second Amendment, when they wrote it, my contention is, is that they had no idea that you could walk into a school, kill 40 people in under a minute or maybe a minute and a half, reload, and then do it again.

They didn't have that. So that technology didn't exist to go in and do that sort of thing. You'd have to set up the pukka. You and three people are tamping it into the ground. The kids have time to run for Christ's sake. Plus it takes so long to get from one schoolhouse to the other to kill the 40 kids. Like there's 12 in this one. Then you got to cross the prairie to get to the next one. There's like a slow speed horse and carriage chase. It's a pain in the ass. But, but my contention is, is that just the, the amount of destruction that you

can do and the concealability of these guns and just the ability to reload, the practicality, the lethality, it's all so much worse than it was back then. We talked about this before. Look at a modern firearm and list the top 10 things it does. And then compare that, being real, compare that to a 17th century version

or 18th century version of a standard issue military weapon. Does it do the same things? It absolutely does not. The things that we value a military grade weapon for now did this fucking guns in the 1700s. Didn't do those things.

Make a list. Just make a list. Wait, if I wanted a gun now in fucking 2018 and I wanted it to be a gun that I used to shoot people, make a list of its fucking attributes. Yeah. Well, you know,

it's funny because you were talking about earlier how you have to be careful not to spill the priming powder that's in it or something. Not to get it wet. You can't carry the fucking thing and level like a fucking waiter. You're serving a bob on it or whatever. I don't want to spill my wet. You can't carry the fucking thing and level like a fucking waiter. Exactly. You're serving a bob on it or whatever. I don't want to spill my gun. Yeah.

Yeah. So I, I, I, and that's, and that's the, that's the major thing. And also another thing too,

is there's no guarantee that the founders wanted a regular person to have a puckle gun anyway. You know what I mean? Like some of these, I mean, I understand the Flintlock

with all the different doodlers on it, but who cares? Like that thing is like, it was a novelty gun. Exactly. It's a novelty gun. It probably shot snakes out. If it was that good, it would have been standard issue military party poppers, right? You're just like,

happy new year. We were talking about earlier. Can you imagine the horrifying kick that a gun like that, like if you fire like a black powder rifle and it just kept going off 20 times, Cecil has a semi-automatic shotgun. It's five.

You can fit up to five in there. That thing puts me on my back foot if I pull the trigger five times. In order to not do that, I have to be leaned further forward than I typically lean. We're using target shot. This isn't magnum shot or anything. This is target shot. We're not shooting buckshot out of it. I'm a little guy. If I pull the trigger

five times, I'm on my back foot by the fifth shot. It's a target load. What is it? 1,200 feet per second or something like that? It's not even like the 1,800 feet per second. This is interesting. We got a message about a vasectomy procedure.

The person who sent this in said that the doctor questioned them a lot and was not happy with the answer. I don't want to have kids. That's the only answer to why do you want a vasectomy? That's all a vasectomy does. I'm kind of into ball play. So he could twist that up for me and make it hurt. So I put a bag of fucking peas on it for the rest of my life that's the that's the that's the desired outcome

every time for a vasectomy i i had a i had a particularly rough vasectomy myself i know a lot of people like i talked to people that were that were like yeah i went out and played tennis later that day or are. Are you fucking kidding? My vasectomy put me up for like four or five days. And then when I walked to work, I took two days off of work the previous week. And then I walked to work on Monday and I was bleeding when I got to work. So like, it was unpleasant. It was a genuinely unpleasant experience.

So it's not like you're doing it for fun. You're just like some of the best money I've ever spent. I know. And you're not throwing good money after bad either. Some of the cheapest money I've ever spent. This is the winner. This is the winner, Tom. This is, this is, uh, Kernan.

And Kernan sent in the shirt we're going to make. The shirt that is, we are absolutely going to make. It's patriarchy trademark man that's good that is a shirt when you see us at the next conference we will have these shirts printed it'll get you slugged so amazing so i'm buying that i'm buying that every size in case i change hilarious so funny uh we got a message from josh and josh was telling us that every size in case I change. That's hilarious. So funny. We got a message from Josh, and Josh was telling us that in European countries, you can just walk up to the counter and just get over-the-counter birth control pills.

That's amazing. Which is better. Yeah. That's just better. It's way better. It's just better. And he says it's like three bucks or something. Birth control should just be fucking free. That's just way better. It's just better. You should. And it's, he says like, it's like three bucks or something like birth control should just be

fucking free. We have like, like that's just a social good is to have readily available free birth control. Yep. Yep. It's just, this should just always be free.

I just want to go buy birth. Like I'm going to get rich and just buy birth control for people. I just want to put it in people's PEZ dispensers. That's what I want. Well, uh, that's going to wrap it up for this week. We want to thank No Illusions for joining us today.

He came by to the studio, Glory Hole Studios. You can check out this week's show notes to check out all the podcasts that he's part of. The litany of podcasts that he does every week. It's a pretty impressive group and they are excellent entertainers. So check out all their shows. That's

going to wrap it up though. And this is a week off for us. We're recording a week early. Tom's getting married. Congratulations on your marriage, by the way. Thank you very much. Presuming it goes off without a hitch this weekend. Unlikely to run. I've got restraints.

So congratulations on your marriage. Send Tom your congratulations on the internet. You can send it to him on Facebook, and you can also send it to him on Twitter. Congratulate Tom on his marriage. Thank you. We are going to be wrapping it up, though, and you can also send it to him on Twitter. Congratulate Tom on his marriage. Thank you. We are going to be wrapping it up, though, and we're going to be back next week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue.

It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues. Temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts. Shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands.

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