Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 418: The Trouble with God

Episode Date: June 11, 2018

YouTube:     GUEST Chris Matheson BOOK:

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The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence. Whichever topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 418 of Cognitive Dissonance. And we are joined by Chris Matheson, friend of the show. Third time you've been on the show.

Last time you were on the show was in October of 2016. My, my, the world has changed since October. Do you remember the heady days of your... I would be over here crying real quick. Just, I got to get a quick cry out. You know, do you remember like back in October of 16, you still had...

Oh, hold on, hold on. I'm at a loss for words. Hope? When you had hope and optimism and reasons for joy. Oh, those were good. Those were good times. Chris, welcome to the show. Hey, guys.

Thanks for having me back. So for anybody that does not happen to recall october of 2016 and and i don't blame you for blotting out the better times now uh they're just depressing to think about uh chris matheson uh was one of the screenwriters for the bill and ted series right um yeah that's right he also wrote the story of god and your new book the trouble with god yes sir all right so um let's talk before we talk about your book, but we'll get there. We'll get some shameless self-promotion is in the way around the way rather. Let's talk a little bit about politics. October of 2016, we chit chatted. I think we all agreed there was no

way. Yeah, I'll tell you what, it's not going to happen. It'd be real funny if it did, but it's not. And then it did. Can I ask you a question, Chris? Yeah. How the fuck do you think that happened? God, we're still trying to figure it out, right? It's this weird post-mortem. It just goes on and on. The autopsy of our country. I mean, in a way, it's totally obvious, right? I mean, like, we get our first black president,

and then we get a crazy huge backlash from all the people who that clearly really bothered on a very, very deep level. It just was very irritating to a lot of people. And the backlash in a way was kind of predictable. You know, when when irritated irritated and oyster gives us pearls, when irritated, the electorate gives us Trump. I just want to point out the difference. When irritated, they give us tiki torches. This pendulum is a motherfucker.

It is a motherfucker, but I mean, look on the upside, we know there's something good coming, right? We know I like we're progressives, right? We're Democrats, we're liberal, whatever we are. know there's something good coming, right? We know like we're progressives, right? We're Democrats, we're liberal, whatever we are. And there's something good, the bounce back when it comes, whether it's 18 or 20 or 22 at the absolute lowest in my view. And that's a long fucking time away, I grant you, but it's going to be beautiful. I mean, I'm going to cry right now. 22 is the saddest thing I've heard anybody say ever in my life. Oh my God. I'm sorry, but it's not impossible. It's not impossible. The guy could get reelected as horrifying as that is. I honestly

just got like vomit chills. You know, like when you're like, I'm sorry, I hate to say it. I think he's a nightmare of a human being. You know, the comedy from that guy is... It's not worth it. It's not worth it. Number one, it's not fucking worth it. I know. We're at a place where it's like...

My wife and I today, as a matter of fact, she was showing me this website where Zach Branigan from Futurama, the guy who does his voice, Billy West, just reads in the Zach Brannigan voice things that Trump has said. And it's hilarious, right? You're like, ah, ha, ha. And you're like, wait a minute. This isn't funny.

This is not funny. This guy should not be, he shouldn't be employed anywhere. Like, I mean, I mean literally anywhere. He's hard to satirize actually because he's so extreme that like George W. Bush was pretty easy to satirize, but Trump's tough because he's such a strange character.

And, uh, you know, here's one thought I had during 16. I never thought he was going to win. I never thought he was going to win for, for a moment character. And, uh, you know, here's one thought I had during 16. I never thought he was going to win. I never thought he was going to win for, for a moment. And my, my kids would come to me worried and they're like, dad, tell, tell us there's zero chance. It's all. And I comfort it. It's all right, kids. It's all right. You know, it can't happen. And so election night, they, yeah, they were really, really horrified.

But I remember during the election, I'm like a Marx Brothers fan. And I thought this is like a Marx Brothers movie. And he sadly is kind of Groucho. And we, the Democrats, are kind of Margaret Dumont and the stooges at these parties. He's kind of weirdly running circles around people. And why? Because he doesn't give a fuck. That's why. That is his power. That is his power. He doesn't give a fuck. And Hillary was so tentative and so worried and so cautious and so playing not to lose. And he was playing, I don't know, to win kind of, or he didn't care. He just didn't care. And that weird power that comes from not caring,

not giving a shit and saying whatever pops into your head. And clearly that resonates with a lot of people. And, and also people are, are, they are, they're, they're, they're racist. Also, there are racists. Yeah. I think that's a good, that's an, it's a necessary, I don't know. You know, it's interesting. Uh, I was listening to something this week where someone was talking about how, you know, we get caught up in the stupid shit he says and the dumb way he talks and the stuff that he says that's just awful or, you know, completely is disconnected. I remember when he was talking about Frederick Douglass being recently for being awesome or something like he's just like he's such a buffoon that we get caught up in these tiny

buffoonish things. And we we never really talk about policy because we're always still stuck on all of this buffoonery that's happening. And, and what we really need to do is stop that because the same thing, there was a guy from Italy who was saying the same thing happened in Italy. There was this dude who didn't know what he was doing, who was just like a total bull in a China shop. And everybody kept on picking up on all these like little, like, well, you're such an idiot. And it didn't matter to people. what matters is the policy and what people we sort of fall away from because they'll say something stupid or you know he'll not remember the words

to god bless america all these other million myriad of things and you know we go through them on our show every week and then you you forget that you know he's also the guy we trust to talk to Kim Jong-un. And that's a nightmare. That's a weird thought, isn't it? Those two guys? Those two guys? I gotta tell you, I sort of love that

Dennis Rodman's going too. Is Kim Kardashian coming along too? I feel like at this point, Dennis Rodman adds a certain gravitas to that. Yeah, that's where we are. Dennis Rodman is the gravitas. He's boxing

Trump out and getting the rebound. He's like, fuck you. Wait, is that right? I hadn't heard that. Dennis Rodman's actually going to attend and be present I read an article in the Washington Post that said that it is likely that he will attend the summit

oh man and I saw that and I stared at it and I know shit I was at work I stared at it my jaw hung open I closed my computer. I stood up from my desk and I left.

I went out until I was like, I can't. And if you had a gun, you would have killed yourself, right? I was like, I can't. Like, no, I'm done with this. I'm done with all this absurdity. It's over. Part of me wonders if the problem is that we're not taking him seriously. Like, is that people are just like, oh, that's just crazy old Uncle Trumpy.

Yeah. You know, know like what if we took like i like the question maybe should be asked like what if we took him seriously what would that mean though i mean what how would that be what would we do differently if we did take him seriously i think maybe we'd hold him accountable differently like i don't think i don't think people hold him accountable at all like It's like if he says something crazy, we're just like, oh, that's just because he's crazy. Yeah. And then it's like,

wait a minute, guys. He's crazy. The logical extension of that is, oh, fucking no. And there's a lot of stuff that he says that we just wave off and be like, oh, that's just Twitter. No, he's the president of the United States. His words have meaning. We can't elect a shit lord.

No, we did. No, we totally did. Yeah, he's a good shit lord, I guess. He is. I mean, I guess he's well qualified for that job. All right, so I got a question for you to tie in with your book. Yeah. Who is Trump in the Bible?

If Trump is somebody in the Bible. Oh, he's God, obviously. He's God. Of course he's God. I mean, it's uncanny. I knew the answer. I just want to hear you say it. Oh, yeah.

I mean, the mixture of kind of bombast and vanity and foolishness and recklessness and meanness and smallness and grandiosity. Oh, yeah. meanness and smallness and grandiosity. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The character of God in the Bible, especially, I would say, in the Old Testament, it really resembles Trump a lot.

That's the character he is. That's the only character he is. So we might have the first atheist, because people have posited that Trump is possibly atheist. Now, he obviously professes to something else, but he's not had a significant or rich history of having a religious life. He has no idea when he talks about it. He has no idea about it. When he reads Bible verses, he doesn't know what he's talking about. He's a megalomaniac.

I mean, he's got this weird, as megalgalomaniacs do this puny ego that's also huge because clearly puny i mean he's desperate look at his hands but yeah look at his hands right there you go that explains it all the guy's got four and a half inches and it plagues him wait a minute it's four and a half bad that's a power four and a half bad. That's a power four and a half. Thank you. Angles. You just gave him way more than you wanted. Hire a friend. It's not the size of the prize. It's the angle of the

dangle. As Abraham Lincoln wants it. I'm like an angler fish. I paint mine with a little glow in the dark to attract. Nice. It doesn't work. It doesn't. So when you go deep sea diving,

you can like... Good thing. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, he's a megalomaniac. So the idea of this guy actually, whatever, getting down on his knees and praying to God

to some, you know, soup power that's great. It's hard to even fathom that actually. I mean, I'm not into that thing. I think that's kind of foolish and it's the invisible man, but the idea that this guy could even imagine, uh, that he would ever do that. It doesn't make any sense. There's no humility to it at all. None. Interestingly, since he's been elected, he has been surrounding himself with a lot of religious people. He's had people come to the Oval Office

and lay their hands on him. They do some prayer circles. He's removed some really important legislation. The Johnson Amendment was I think he's signing statement over that or something. He did something to get rid of that.

He's certainly done a lot of work deregulating everything. Stripping the EPA of all of it. He's done a lot. But I mean, with religion in general, he's really been, you know, because he realizes that the evangelical vote was the thing that got him elected.

And so he's been pandering very hard to that. So I think, and I don't think it's going to stop. I mean, I think, you know, I think that there's, you know, it's going to get worse before it gets better. Because it's not, I have a feeling like he's not going to get impeached. I have a feeling like that's not going to happen. You don't think he's going to get impeached? I don't think so.

I think like, I think at this point, the only way that that not going to happen. You don't think he's going to get impeached? I don't think so. I think at this point, the only way that that's going to happen, now, I'm hopeful for a flip on the 2020, 2018 midterms. I'm hopeful, but I'm not delusional. You know what I mean? I don't want to just think that it's automatically going to happen. If there is a Republican

or a Democratic House and Senate, then there's a possibility. How exciting would a Pence presidency be? An accidental Pence. That's the problem. Is that's weird. You know, it Pence on the other hand is really easy to satirize.

Have you guys seen Beck Bennett's take? No. Mike Pence. Oh, just like Google, uh, um, Beck Bennett doing Mike Pence on SNL.

Cause it's cause he plays him kind of like a repressed homosexual. Like that's why he's so prissy and kind of uptight and scared of sex. Cause he's clearly terrified of his own homosexuality. It's really funny. And he looks like Mike Pence too. He looks a lot like him. It's really, really funny.

So Mike Pence would be great for comedy. I think so too. I think you're right because he is. And he looks like Mike Pence, too. He looks a lot like him. It's really, really funny. So Mike Pence would be great for comedy. I think so, too. I think you're right because he is. And he's also he also is extreme in ways that that, you know, you can make fun of pretty easily. You know, like the mother thing when he calls his wife mother and he calls his wife mother. And he doesn't. And he doesn't. Wait a minute.

I don't even know this. Hold on. Back to train up in every day. Just like he calls his wife mother. Yeah. That's doesn't... Wait a minute, I don't even know this. Hold on. Back to Trinip. In every day, he calls his wife mother? Yeah, publicly. Publicly calls her mother. And he won't meet with women if his wife isn't there.

There's all these... He's like a time traveler from the Victorian era. Oh, no, he really is. Yeah, it's just insane. Yeah, he's super easy to make fun of. Do you think he does adult baby stuff? Do you think he does adult baby?

I think he, no, I think she's pegging him. That's what I think. Those things are not mutually exclusive. That's true. That's true. He's like super humorless, and super humorless people are great for comedy. And I'm not convinced. people are great for comedy and i'm not convinced look i you know i don't take a backseat to anybody in my revulsion for donald trump he's hideous he's a nightmare i'm not convinced this guy doesn't

have sort of a bizarro sense of humor though and that's another thing that makes him hard to satirize yeah yeah he's got some weird fucked up sense of humor where he just, it's that thing. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. And he's reckless. And there's something kind of, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, look, you go back to 2016, and I do remember thinking this.

Okay, who's the interesting character? Because I'm a writer, right? And I'm looking at it, and I'm like, who's the interesting character? Because I'm a writer, right? And I'm looking at it and I'm like, who's the interesting character to write here? Who would I write? And I'm like, well, Trump in a split second would be super fun to write. Can you imagine trying to write Hillary and make her an interesting character? I mean, I just can't. What does that say?

Yeah. We should have nominated Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe might have won. Uncle Joe was like, I don't know. He could he could have competed with Trump on Trump's level. You know, that's it should have been. And I didn't see that at the time. You know, I like Biden.

Yeah, I genuinely like. Sure. I would have voted for Biden. I think he's a little bit goofy a little bit irreverent but he is earnest as fuck yeah and he's smart and he's like he like when you when you like read biden's story about who that guy is as a man as a human being in the world yeah holy shit is he impressive and he is an awesome human being it should have been him you know it should have been him because he's the vice president right i mean the only reason was he was too old, but he wasn't much older than Trump.

Yeah. And yeah. And and Bernie Sanders was on the ticket and he's older than all. And he's old. Yeah, exactly. You know, and people were and he was and Bernie Sanders was winning states. So it's not like you age was not a factor in that conversation. I want to roll back for a second, though. You're talking about Trump having a sense of humor. And I think you're right. I think he does have a sick sense of show. I don't know that the guy, he's not lacking in a certain weird kind of comedic chops, in my opinion. That's just my opinion. Again, I find him repulsive, you know,

and I will be so happy when the day comes when he's out of there. But purely from a comedic standpoint, I think he has a weird sense of humor. And I think Hillary has effectively a very limit, very like when we nominate a bad candidate, they always look the same. They always look earnest and humorless. John Kerry, Al Gore, Michael Dukakis.

They always look the fucking same. Like you just can't stand them. They're drones. You're just like, I couldn't stand having dinner with that person. I couldn't stand having a beer with that person. Let's move on to your book. So you got a brand new book out, The Trouble with God, a divine comedy about judgment and misjudgment.

What's this book about and why'd you write it? I wrote the first book and I had a lot of fun writing this character of God because I thought he was ridiculous and astounding and just a totally fucked up mess, actually. And he was really a lot of fun to write. And the premise of the first book, as you guys know, is I basically follow him through the Bible, trying to make sense of his bizarre behavior, kind of quoting chapter and verse along the way and trying to come up with a narrative for this guy. Like, who is this guy who acts in ways that seem so irrational and impulsive and counterproductive? So anyway, so I finished and I thought, wow, that was fun. I like that character.

He's really a kick to write. I'd like to keep going. And it didn't take very long before I thought, oh, well, you know, actually I can because there's more books where the same guy pops up. So I thought... Wait a minute, we've written this before. There's more than one with God in it?

Dance cultures? Huh, that's crazy. That's so weird. So I thought, I'm just going to follow him into the Koran, and then after that, I'm going to follow him through the Koran, and then I'm going to follow him into the Book of Mormon, and all through the Book of Mormon. And I didn't end up leaving it in the book because it seemed a little obscure, but I even spent a decent amount of time following him into a 20th century book called

The Book of Urantia. Are you guys familiar with The Book of Urantia? No, what is that? Tell me about that. Oh, you got to read. Oh, it's great. It's great. The premise of the book of Urantia is that it's the Bible ostensibly written by very, very superior space aliens who know the bigger story so that it's all the same events, but it's told in a very, very weird way, like Adam and Eve are astronauts who can fly and are eight feet tall and green. That's the book of Urantia. Is this written seriously? Yeah, yeah, yeah. and are eight feet tall and green. And, you know, that's the book of Urantia. Is this written seriously? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute, there's people that believe this?

Are they true? Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are. Oh, no, you got to get through. It's horrible. Of course, these books are, you have to be kind of a connoisseur of horrible to enjoy these things. I was about to ask you, how's the writing? Just as a writer.

Oh, it's just staggeringly terrible. And your eyes will glaze over and you will think this is like fucking punishment. Why am I even, but if you just kind of wade through it and you find, and I, you know, I could, I could give you some like little tips of where to look when it's funny. It's really funny. Cause it's really, really loony. It's kind of like the Koran. The Koran, for the most part, is kind of a dull read, in my opinion. But when it gets good, it's really funny.

And the Book of Mormon, same thing, I thought. So anyway, so that's what I did. I just followed. I just thought, I'm going to keep tracking this character as long as he shows up and try to stitch them all together. And so the premise of this book was, well, what if all these books are true? The premise of the first book was, what if the Bible's totally 100% true? What if every word in it is exactly true? Who does this guy have to be to make sense in that case? So then in this book, the premise is what if all of them are true? What if the Old Testament is true? The New Testament is true. The Grand is true. The Book

of Mormon is true. How fucking insane does this guy have to be for this all to be true? So that's I was going to ask, are they reconcilable? I think I found a way to reconcile them. Yeah. Yeah, I think I did. Yeah. It took some time to kind of figure out how can these all go together. And, you know, it all ends up hinging on Jesus, basically, not surprisingly, because Jesus a lot ends up hinging on Jesus. Well, I mean, he's the reason for the season. So, I mean, it makes sense. There you go. Well said. Well said. Are you working on anything new? Yeah, I'm working on... I want to sort of give the same treatment to Buddhism because I kind of feel like Buddhism's weirdly gotten a free pass for a long time.

Like Buddhism's kind of been like, oh, it's the cool one. Oh, it's the compassionate one. It's the one that cool people like. It is, though. It's the one that when you're in college, if you know a little bit about it, you can use it to get laid. Good for that. Good for getting laid in college.

You want to see my Siddhartha, baby? You don't know what that means, do you? Anyway, come back to my dorm room. It's cool. Come check out my Siddhartha. Yeah. Is that a copy? No, it's an original.

Can I get a copy? It's not what it sounds like. No, it's an original. Can I get the copy? And then if the girl wants to put you down, she'll say, is it meditating? So if people were going to buy your book, where would they look? Amazon, I suppose, is the easiest and quickest way to do it. They sell books there?

When did they start that? That's weird. Yeah, they sell books, it turns out, on Amazon. Yeah, I didn't know that myself. I'm sure it's in bookstores, but I can't really say where. But I know it's on Amazon, and you could have it, and you could buy it in 30 seconds that way.

Is this going to be an audiobook anytime soon, you think? Yeah, I recorded it about, I don't know, a few months ago. So I think it's being edited now. It'll probably be available in July, August, maybe. Awesome. I'll definitely pick it up on audiobook then. That's great. Yeah.

Well, Chris, when 2020 rolls around and you're done with your next book, we'll have you on right before the election. All right. Let me ask again. Do you think he wins? Do you think the midterms, not he wins, but do you think the midterms, do you think that we,

the Democrats substantially, do we think they flip? Yeah. I think there's a good chance that we win back the House. I don't think the Senate's very likely just because of structurally how it is. I know it's a bad year.

We have a lot of seats to defend.. We have a lot of seats to defend and we have a lot of seats to defend in some pretty tough states. Yeah. So I think the Senate's rather unlikely. I think it would take a really big wave.

But, you know, Robert Mueller lurks off stage. Don't you just love that guy right now? Yeah. Right. And he's a lifelong Republican, right? Isn't that, it's just ironic.

It's weird what the Trump presidency has done. I mean, it's gotten some of us like, yeah, go Jeff Sessions, you know? Who we all hate. Right, yeah, I agree. There are sentences I've uttered that I'm like, yeah, who am I? This entire thing has been the enemy of my enemy.

I know, right? Yeah, it kind of is. But in terms of what can happen in November, when Mueller's report comes out, whatever it is, you know, that's a nuclear bomb, potentially, that can hit. I mean, it's going to take over

everything for a chunk of time. And depending on what's in there, and he's played his cards pretty close to the vest. So we really don't know, but he's clearly trying to flip Manafort now. Cause clearly he, he's trying to muscle Manafort and get him to flip and that potentially, and,

and presumably trying to flip Michael Cohen. And if those things happen, who the hell knows? Oh, there's some real problems. That could be some real problems. I will say this, you know, as a thank you for being on the show. Now the third time I'm going to send you the Rosetta Stone, Russia version. I think we can all use it. Give it to all my friends.

Yeah. Good. And we'll shoot that over to you. Thank you very much. Yeah. Thank you. Really, comrade, this has been great. Duh. Chris, thanks for joining us today.

It was a lot of fun to talk to you. Good luck, and we hope to talk to you again in the future. 2020, guys. 2020 it is. I'm going to kill myself. All right, gentlemen, great talking to you. With all due respect, what the fuck are you talking about? All right, this story comes from Right Wing Watch.

This is Mark Taylor. Mark Taylor is that firefighter profit guy. Oh, gosh. Yeah, firefighter profit. This guy is legit insane. Oh, I love him. The stuff he talks about. It's amazing.

This is amazing. What I love is the certainty in which he speaks about these things. Why would he be uncertain? He is a profit and a firefighter. Amazing. The stuff that he talks about, you know, he'll just be like, oh yeah, and by the way, the mind control technology. And you just throw that shit out there.

That is the best, right? When they just drop it as if it's like, we have already I don't even need to go into. You guys know. You guys listen to episode four. Everybody knows that the chemtrails control our brains. I'm not doing this isn't a 101 class, motherfuckers. All right. Hurricanes

will be created to suppress pro-Trump voter turnout. I have so many things. I have so many questions already. All right. Here's Mark. Look for some stuff right before the election, Sheila. And we need to be praying for this election for the safety of the people, safety and security of the election itself.

So that it's not stolen, number one. But number two, look for false flags. Wait, okay, wait, wait. So we're praying for the election so it's not stolen. Do you think they're already trying to prime the pump here to be like, the election's going to get stolen? Yeah, I do. Yeah, I absolutely do. You know, and it's funny, too, because like all the evidence about about tampering with the vote and tampering with the electorate. That evidence has been largely in favor of tampering with an attempt to sway it for their guy.

Right. And it's like, well, hold on a minute. They can steal the vote. It's like, well, if somebody tried to tamper, they'd have to overcome the other tampering. Like fighting each other off. Like I was here first. I was going to tamper. I called dibs. I called dibs on Kansas. Fuck you. It's like an aspirin bottle. Nobody's ever called dibs on Kansas. Nobody's like Kansas. That one's mine.

It's an aspirin bottle that's like got like a childproof cap and then a tiger inside. You know, just like I can't. I just fuck. I just, fuck. And one of the things that the Lord has been showing me is that this could be a very nasty hurricane season. We're already getting effects down here in Florida. Like I said, we just

had one come through here. It was a subtropical system. Then that's not a hurricane. Also, it's fucking, isn't this tis the season to be hurricane right around now? Tis the season to be in Florida. Alright, so you're caught. You're on a fucking peninsula. I mean, are you in the Atlantic

Ocean? There's always hurricanes. When you live in Florida, you just open an umbrella and fly to work. That's how you get there. You're like Mary Poppins your ass all around. It's so funny the idea that you think that people have jobs in Florida. That's nice. That's where you go to retire or live in a trailer park. Those are your two

best options. Eventually, you rot in that trailer, and that's the smell that is Florida. I didn't normally start this early, and that's what Laura was showing me. If they don't get control of the technology right now. What technology?

What are we talking about? Hold on, hold on. Go back, because I think he says if they don't get control, I think he is implying with that sentence that they have created a hurricane technology that is also out of control. It's like a fire hose, and it's just... It's shooting hurricanes this way and that way.

Who let the wacky, waving, inflatable arm flailing tube hold the hurricane gun? It's just holding. It's like... This hurricane gun. This hurricane gun is way more powerful. You know, it's like... I don't know what they made. They're still sitting around

being like, well, Bob, I thought you put the governor up. Bob, what the fuck? You got to hold it tight against your shoulder. You're going to get a bruise. It's a matter with you. Out of a gun. It's like physics, right? Every equal and opposite reaction. He flies

backwards. Either that or the gun has to have equivalent mass to the hurricane. Or actually more mass to counter the force. It's just this massive You put the stock in the ocean, it makes a tidal wave. Okay, what you got to do is you got to brace

it against the bedrock of the ocean floor. Oh, gosh. But it's got a hair trigger. Set it right by Indonesia. Which we both know there's technology out there. Irma and Harvey were both generated and steered by man. Both these hurricanes

were. Why would we do that? That seems so asinine. Here's the other thing that I love. So, all right, who is disproportionately affected by hurricanes? It's always poor people and people of color. These are not Trump voters. It's the people who live in the straw house, not the brick house. I know, right?

It's 100% of the in the straw house, not the brick house. I know, right? Yeah. It is. It's 100% of the time, always the same thing. And it's like, well, we're going to use hurricanes. What, to suppress the Trump vote? It suppresses the other side's vote.

Also, like, it would be your weapon. It also doesn't make any sense, right? It's just a giant money suck. What it does is it just, we just have to drop and shit money on that area like crazy like the only people that could possibly profit from something like that are like window boarding up companies like right is this like a window okay up company company conspiracy bottled water sales exactly like there's like five or six things we're just

like yeah fucking it's our best day ever. Are those the people who are conspiratorially creating a fucking weather creation gun that can shit hurricanes on people? Obviously it is. You have no idea. Dasani is the one. The bottled water.

Lobby is fucking massive. It's huge. Big water. A couple of nasty hurricanes right before the election to upset the election so people can't vote. They don't have power. He's talking again about poor black people that don't vote Trump. How many people do you

stop from voting after a hurricane's gone? I don't think the hurricane has affected the voter turnout. The hurricane is going to slide on up right on the 7th and stay from the 6th through the 8th and then be like, peace, and roll on out of here? But also, do we not think that if that happened,

do we not, I mean, genuinely, if that happened, if there was a hurricane that affected and closed a bunch of voting... Yeah, they would just hold it open. They would figure something out. We would not disenfranchise hundreds of voting precincts because of all those people. I don't think we would. We would tell them like, oh, you don't have the right to vote because we couldn't give you an opportunity.

The lawsuits would be intense. Yeah. If you have to close the polling place, I think you're right. Right. But if it's just shitty weather, then. Right. But that's what I mean. But like in these state of emergency situations where they close everything out.

Yeah, you're going to be like, what if it's a hurricane? I'm sticking it out. Yeah, right? These ballots matter. Well, then they went. Wow, we lose more election judges that way. You get the big ones in Chicago, you can use those as a kite. The big election judges?

Yeah, you can. You can't use those as a kite. But the big ballots, the ballots we have here are like giant. Yeah, you can't use those as a kite, but the big ballots, the ballots we have here are like giant. I remember you told me about this. They're like a fucking Costco receipt. They're like, it's like a plasma TV.

It's ridiculous. So forth and so on. The Lord was telling me, we need to come up with a technology prayer, so to speak, because Irma, the eye of Irma came up with a technology prayer. Oh,

wait, well, why do you need a technology prayer? Don't you just have to just be like don't do it? God, can't you stop it? You need a special kind of prayer. It's like, you need like to hire a gremlin or something? I don't know. Is this like

That's my gremlin impression. Do it again? No, I did it once. That's it. God damn it. People at home, you can rewind. Well, I did it once. That's it. God damn it. You missed a moment. You can rewind. Well, I can't rewind. 15 seconds. Skip back. That's my gremlin impression.

I'm right over my house. And if you notice, that was the first time I've seen a hurricane like this. It didn't know where to come in and land at. And there was this. What do you mean a hurricane didn't know? Hurricanes stand in there like Columbo when he's standing there checking all his pockets. And he starts to walk to the door and then he checks his pockets again. One more question.

One more question. Is he suggesting the hurricane can't find good parking? It's just like, I can't parallel park. I never got the hang of it. Do you guys know where 8th Street is? I think I passed it up, but it's one way back there.

The hurricane's confused. I was going to go here. I was going to, I don't know. It's being steered by people. In your imaginary crazy universe, the hurricane would go immediately toward its path. Yeah. Like, why would you be like, I created a hurricane,

and then I randomly flew it like a little kid with a drone. Yeah, I'm sick. I don't know how to do this. I don't know. Nobody taught me to use the remote control. There's a war going on in the heavenlies because the Christians were stepping up. Even other states were stepping up and commanding this thing to turn and this, that, and the other. Well, it did come in.

It wasn't where they thought it was going to be. But the point being is that we have the power to turn these things, but we need to go after the root, which is the technology behind the storm. But we need to go after the root, which is the technology behind the storm. This is all going to hinge. This hurricane season or some things that may happen with the hurricanes right before election is all going to hinge if they have control of the weather stuff. It's all going to. I want to read this because this is all going to hinge on if they have control of the weather stuff. Is that that stuff you spray in the cracks of your cinder blocks to make sure that the water doesn't come in? It's like foam. Yeah, what's hilarious about

this is that they need a technology prayer in order to make sure that God can stop it. What is he like your dad trying to watch something on demand? He's like, which clicker is it? Is it the green one? No, it's the gray one. Okay, well, I pressed power. Oh, okay, I'll select satellite. Now what? Okay, it's the gray one. Okay, well, I pressed power.

Oh, okay, I'll select satellite. Now what? Okay, now the screen went black. I got to change inputs. I don't want to change inputs. Input two? I don't know. Is this HDMI?

This thing is not working. I'm going to just come over and fix it. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. I'm high on believing Alright, this story's from BBC.com and I want to point out I did see a story just very recently

on the Patheos blog that says they don't believe this happened. Oh, really? But this is from the BBC's website. Interesting. And I saw it on another website.

Okay, but they don't think it happened. But Patheos says I don't think this happened because it seems just really unlikely to have happened. Yeah, okay. That's really the argument, right?

So this story, though, is funny as fuck. And it's from BBC. And they did not take it down. And it's been sitting up there for a couple days. Crocodile kills Ethiopian pastor during lake baptism. So, you know, that's why you don't chum the water before your baptisms. And that's why you do chum the water before the baptism. You don't just sprinkle in those wafers at a time.

You're just floating up. You know, like, the blood is supposed to be a metaphor. Yeah, right. You know. Body of Christ. The body of their snatches. The body of Christ. It was just, it was a crocodile with just three teeth, just like perforating.

Punk, punk, punk. Actually, the guy does. It was just, it was a crocodile with just three teeth, just like perforating. Actually, the guy does, he gets bitten in his hands and his legs and his back. And I was like, same thing happened to Jesus. So there's about 80 people at this lake and these guys doing a dunking ceremony, you know, to make you wet. And crocodiles are smart. They go after the leader. They know which one to pick out of the crowd. Well, the babies don't have enough meat.

Yeah, absolutely. It's just not even worth it. And they keep dunking them so fast in and out of the water. It's like you're teasing the crocodile. It's like a teabag of babies. Do you want it? Do you want it? Do you want it?

It's just mean you're not supposed to do that. And the crocodile jumps out of the water and just fucking, a baby. Do you want it? Do you want it? It's just mean you're not supposed to do that. And the crocodile jumps out of the water and just fucking, he doesn't actually eat the guy. I hope it's like that crocodile movie where that guy jumps out of the water, snaps or whatever. Oh yeah, I know what I'm talking about. I know the movie. Is it like

Bates or whatever in that movie, whatever that woman's name is, the lady who was in Misery. Isn't she in that movie? I don't know. It's like Terror Lake or something like that. Maybe it's Betty White whatever in that movie, whatever that woman's name is, the lady who was in Misery. Isn't she in that movie? I don't know. It's like Terror Lake or something like that. Maybe it's Betty White is in that movie. I don't remember. There's like some old lady at the end who's like feeding... Lake Placid?

That's it, maybe. Why is this in my head? It's got the big mouthy thing and it bites people and fights them and stuff. It's almost as good as Anaconda. That's a better one. That's a good one. You can't watch it if you don't have buns. Doesn't bring the boys to the yard.

So this thing, this crocodile just chomps them up. I just want to relay a funny alligator-related story. Alligator-related story. I don't have any of those. And nobody should. I grew up weird.

So when I lived in Florida, every body of water, like every natural body of water just has alligators in it. Like they just all do. Like your pool sometimes had an alligator in it. Like they would just like

be like, whatever. Yeah. They're just like alligator. Yeah. They'd be sometimes like they'd crawl into people's cars to get cool. Yeah. You know, what have you. They'd be sometimes like, um, they'd crawl into people's cars to get cool. Yeah.

You know what have you. So just fucking alligators everywhere. Right. The Florida is just horrifying. And they're just basically dinosaurs ready to eat you at a moment's notice. And so when we were kids, when we go visit my mom, my mom lived down,

I would go visit my mom. And she several times lived near lakes or, uh, rivers or other bodies of water. And we, as kids would have a lot of unsupervised playtime near these bodies of water. And they all had alligators. And you could see the alligators, Cecil.

You could see in the lake the alligators' snout and eyes. And it was just like, there's an alligator in this lake. So when your mom let you run out there, did she put a sinker and a bobber on you? This was the actual rule for my mom. This was the rule. I can't wait. I can't wait. In between drinks of scotch, she said...

She said, if you see an alligator, you have to get out of the water. Just out of the water. But if you don't see any alligators, or if the alligator goes under, you can go back into play. You're kidding. No. So we would... How many brothers and sisters did she lose? So,

my brother and I are pretty youngish, you know, but we're fearless, and we want to play in the lake because it's fucking Florida and it's hot. And so if you saw an alligator, what all of us would do is we would throw rocks. To get it to go under the water. To get it to go under the water. Sure.

And then you were allowed to go back in the water to play. Nice. Smart. You guys were smart. Way to go. This is just as fucking stupid. Just throw rocks. It's underwater.

It can't bite you. Bro, it's like they hunt that way it's the way that they actually hunt it was the dumbest it was almost as dumb as going into a crocodile infested lake and playing fucking dunka dunka

or whatever their fucking game is what you need to do is bring that cage that you go watch great whites with and do it inside the cage. And that way they can't get in. I love it. God's like, well, cure of all his sins. Except that one.

That one's got some real shit. You're all sick. Oh, be nice. Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay. Oh, my God. What's happening now? We work hard.

We play hard. This story is also from the BBC. This is a U.S. Supreme Court backs Colorado Baker's gay wedding cake snub. So this is a case that went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. The U.S. Supreme Court. You know, what's weird is that I kept reading that this was a close decision. No, they said narrow decision. That's different.

Narrow decision. Seven to two doesn't seem narrow. That's not what they're talking about. Narrow means it only covers this case. It only covers. It doesn't precedent set. It's not a precedent. Thank you.

It is literally only this case. It also confused me. And I looked it up and I was like, oh, they just what they should stop calling it narrow and they should start calling it specific. It's a specific. Well, that would help people like me. It's a specific ruling. OK. On this only.

And I saw a lot of people blowing this out of proportion, like, oh, my God, now gay cake buyers can't ever buy a cake anywhere because anybody can. No, it only is this specific case. And the reason why they did it is because the Supreme Court felt that the commission that Colorado had put together was unfair to this guy. Okay. That's the only reason why they overturned it. The two dissenting were Soya Mayor and Ginsburg. Ginsburg. Because she's fucking OG.

She's fucking killer. And she was just like, and what she said was there was many other steps in this ladder. And just because this one might have been unfair, there was a lot of other steps that got through that basically they said you shouldn't do this. So she was like, yeah, maybe one of these things was a little not as not as fair as it could be. But all the other ones, you know, we can't say they were all not fair. So that's what the main decision is. But I really feel like this was overblown. I don't agree with what this guy was saying, though. Like, I've heard this guy talk about this.

And one of the things he's like, I'm an artist, and I don't want people to say what I can and can't do with my art. And while I do agree that if you are an artist, you should decide which commissions you want to take. I feel like you're not an artist. Like, I understand you create art, but you do it for money. Like, you are trading money

for that. You're not just doing it because, like, you just want to beautify the neighborhood with a cake. Like, you're doing it for fucking money, man.

They're exchanging goods and services here. You can't just decide, like, what if he refused to do a Muslim person? We wouldn't allow it because it's already on the books as like, you cannot discriminate against religion, period. And it's, you know, the one thing I want to say, and I know a lot of people will talk about this and they'll say things like, you know, you should be able to refuse service to anybody. And I agree with that sentiment, right? You should be able to refuse service to anybody, but not for something they can't control.

You shouldn't be able to refuse service for somebody because they are a different color or because they're handicapped or they're gay. I don't think that you should be able to refuse service. Should you be able to refuse service to an asshole? Yeah, you can fucking help not being an asshole or being an asshole. But I just, I feel like, I feel like when we start mucking it up and saying you can refuse service to a gay person, there just needs to be a law on the books all the way across the nation that adds them to those protected classes. Yeah. I think I, I, to go back to your point about like, is this art? Is this not art? You know, and I'm not sure if it's like the commodification of the thing that

like changes the structure of it for me. Yeah. Cause like, but it's almost like the order of operations that changes it. Right. So, and what I mean by that is like, let's say I'm a, um, an artist and I, and I don't do cakes. I paint pictures. Sure. And I paint a picture and then I hope somebody buys it. Right? Yeah. That's different than I sit in my kitchen and then somebody knocks on the door and says,

please make this for me. There's clearly a difference. Now, if a painter was commissioned to create a piece of art by somebody, should they have the right to say, that's not a commission that I want to accept? I think that they should. But I also think that we differentiate, and rightly so, between what we commonly accept as consumer goods and what we know intrinsically to be fine art, right? Nobody's eating the painting at the end of the night. and what we know intrinsically to be fine art. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And can food... Nobody's eating the painting at the end of the night.

Yeah. So can food be fine art? Sure. But it is mostly a consumer good. Like at the end of the day, it's mostly a consumer good. It's a functional art. Right.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Right. Thank you. That's a great way to differentiate it between fine art and functional. Sure. Right?

I would, because I would agree. Like if somebody said, you have to... Write a song about this gay person or something. Right. I'd be like, fuck you. Like just because I have written songs before for money... Yeah. Doesn't mean I have to write every song for money that somebody tells me to offer. Sure. But I also think like if I have a storefront...

Yeah. You know? When you're inviting business in, I feel like you should not be discriminating against things that people can't control. And there's a difference between being open to the public, which is what these places are. They're open to the public. They're seeking the public at large. This dude has a GoFundMe that has over gotten over a hundred thousand dollars just to keep. And it's just a random random go fund me. Just like, just help me survive for the Baker. Yep. Yeah. Fucking come on with that shit. Yeah. He's gotten famous off of this. Yeah. Well, it's not surprising. Yeah.

That's this guy is going to be swimming in fucking cakes. Yeah. This guy is going to fucking stink like fondant. Yeah. The thing is that like, you, you know, we can say, and that's the one thing that I think a lot of libertarians get wrong, is that, you know, it's not that I don't have libertarian tendencies in myself. I know I do. I know I do. But one thing I recognize is that the market isn't going to fix this, right? The market in Tennessee wouldn't fix this. The market here isn't going to fix this. People will go out of their way to buy cakes from this guy. They will keep him in business. And if he can't stay in business, he'll start a GoFundMe. He's still going to be able to stay in business. He's still going to have this place that people walk in and can't get service from. The free market isn't going to

fix this. I know a lot of people want to say the free market, let the free market handle it. I disagree on this front because if that's the case, why didn't we let the free market handle whether or not black people should get service? We didn't let that handle it because they weren't getting service. Right. That's why. Yeah. Because nobody fucking cared until the government said, stop fucking doing that. We got to create a law that protects sexual orientation because if you don't, then somebody is going to discriminate against somebody for something they just don't have any control over. Ready to stick it in the glory hole? Get links to their Facebook, Twitter, and if you still use it, Google Plus account at their website, dissonancepod.com. If you need to be all discreet about it, contact them by email at

dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a ransom message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Want to hear Cognitive Dissonance commercial free and gain access to exclusive content, including full patron-only shows? Head to patreon.com forward slash dissonance pod and become a patron to support the show on a per episode basis. Love commercials? Not ready to become a patron? Give the guys a five star review on iTunes or Stitcher. Or tell your buddies in the drunk tank about the show. We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us.

You fucking rock. This is Stray Sim right wing watch. This is Lance Wallnau. Is it Wallnau or Wallnau? I don't know. Wallnau. Well. Well now. Well now.

Lance Wallaby. God is using the wrecking ball of heaven to take down Trump's critics. So it doesn't actually get into Lance right away. Actually, Jim talks about his time in prison for a while. Which is amazing. So there's a lot going on in this. We're going to probably listen to the whole thing,

but it's kind of amazing. I don't ever plan to write again about going to prison and what happened. Because you've already written about it. Like, I don't want to write about it again, but I'll write about it and talk about it and sell it for credibility. Who would care?

What is amazing, that guy can look at his followers, Tom, look them in the face and be like, hey guys, I went to prison. And they're like, yeah, what do you have to say? Yeah. Well, he's, yeah. All the other people come out of prison.

Stealing money from people like you. All the other people come out of prison, they're like, you can't vote. Not in every state. That's not every state. But I'm really lately, I've been so tempted to tell the whole thing. Oh man. Oh, man.

The hidden story, buddy. The forbidden love in prison, hopefully. John Ramsay. It's a fucking tease. This guy just fucking strokes the underbelly a little bit just to get things tingled up. That's all that it is. Because what I've

seen, what Trump is going through is exactly what happened to me yeah i was once a billionaire president that's exactly what what happened to me yeah was i was i intentionally put myself in the spotlight i don't know wait a minute infidelity um We got that in common. And how they run it, how they do it. Yeah. Who's they?

Who's they? Tom. I love when it's they. You know they is. My favorite thing is the undifferentiated they. The undefined pronoun. Deep state. You're a deep state.

I don't know what that means. No, man. I'm definitely a shallow state. And when the parole board looked me in the eye and said, Jim, we believe that you're not guilty. Okay, shut the fuck up. That's never happened in the history of parole boards because I, at least I don't think so, because it's not the parole board's job. The parole board's job is to get you to say, I did it. I'm sorry.

Now let's figure out whether or not you get out. You have to admit. I thought I was pretty sure you have to admit guilt in order to even get a parole. The parole is not there to re-adjudicate your justice. That's not right. They're not like, oh man, I read through this case file.

I was going through and I, look, the transcripts really are not compelling. That's not what a parole board does at all. Their job is to find out whether or not you're fit to reenter society. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Because if you're wrongfully convicted, people very often will not be paroled because they won't admit to that guilt. Sure. Yeah. So.

Which would make sense because the parole board's job, again, is not to decide whether or not you should have been. Yeah. Like that, in the parole board's mind and everybody's mind at this point, if the system has worked properly, that decision, that question has already been answered. Yeah. It shook all the way to Washington. They said, you're free. We declare you're not guilty. Yeah.

The parole board never says that to anybody. And why would it get to Washington? Washington would be like, well, what about Jim Baker? Well, he's not guilty. We declare him not guilty. Then did you get a fucking pardon? Yeah, well, let's find out.

Washington could not tolerate the fact that the board had said I wasn't guilty. They did everything they could to make me stay two more years in prison. They wouldn't have to do anything. All they would have to do is deny your fucking parole. Deny your parole?

What do you mean they did everything? You make it sound like they had to jump through these fucking administrative hoops. They had to be like, red stamp. I don't know, get the red one. They had to hire Nicolas Cage and like a National Treasure style

to keep you in prison. He's like crawling underneath some weird museum to try to keep you in prison. They've got like Sean Connery in the rock. He's like just a whole... He's trying to freak you out of there.

And after that, I could have gone home two years before it was retro. It was that... That is so not true. That's like the least true thing anybody's ever said. I don't understand what he said.

Did he say he could have gone home? Retro. So he could have gone. They had a time machine all lubed up and ready. You walk through this door. You go back two years. Is that what he's saying? Can you just keep going through that door, though?

Right? And then I never went to prison. And then I never was in infidelity, and I never stole from my parishioner. It's crazy. We could just take it all back. It would be funny if he'd be like, I'm not taking those things back.

I liked those things. I just don't want to go to jail. It would be funny if he was like, no, no, no, I enjoyed that. The stealing and the fucking was awesome. It's like they had a Breaking Bad. It was like, no, no, no. I enjoyed that. The stealing and the fucking was awesome. It's like they had a Breaking Bad. It was like, I did it for me. Yeah.

Right? When the government wants to get somebody, they get them. And this is what's frustrating about the president. You can't just do that. Then the government just likes to get poor black people. Well, maybe that's true. I guess that is true. That's maybe true.

He's got a point. Let that one go. Right. But we're letting it happen. And I don't get it. I don't. Something guess that is true. That's maybe true. He's got a point. Let that one go. But we're letting it happen. And I don't get it. Something is happening, though. And I was going to come here, and I was very distressed, and I was...

I know something's going on. I can watch it. I can see the signs. Here's what the Lord... Shut up, Jim! Let me fucking talk here! Encouragement. Here's the encouragement. I believe the Lord showed me that there's supposed to be a blue wave, this rage machine, this anger, this collective voter backlash. But you see what happened last night with the

Attorney General in New York? Now get this, New York is where they're taking the case to take Donald Trump down for getting his Michael Cohen, his personal attorney's files. New York's where they want to judge him. So here's what God does. Hollywood wants to judge Trump. Weinstein scandal and the entire Hollywood industry gets exposed. It's crazy. New York Times wants it.

Journalists want to go after him. Boom. From Charlie Rose all the way to what's his name with the morning show. People miss this. It's the wrecking ball of heaven. Okay, wait. I gotta parse this out. So either God

fakes those things so that they're not actually true. You're going in a similar direction I was going to go. Or he exposes those things. Right. In which, high five? Like, I mean,

I don't know anybody that's like, oh my God, what is the world going to do without a fucking, an executive producer who likes to fucking derobe and ask people for massages? What in the world

are we going to do now in Hollywood now that Harvey Weinstein doesn't get to grope people anymore? I love the idea that his God is like, all right, I'm going to let Harvey Weinstein rape somebody because in a few years

he'll get caught. And then Trump will feel better later. Somebody got raped. Like that had to happen. If that's how your shit works.

Right. Or that was always going to happen and God was going to allow it to stay covered up. If everybody would just be nice to Trump. If everybody is nice to Trump, then Harvey Weinstein can rape people with impunity. Harvey Weinstein can keep derobing in front of young actresses whenever he wants.

You know, it's either that or is God actually controlling their mind to make them rape people? When it comes to fucking Harvey Weinstein, when it comes to Matt Lauer, when it comes to Charlie Rose, when it comes to all the people, fucking Garrison Keillor, you start naming all the people that this wave has hit, right? This wave of Me Too has hit. You start looking at all those people. Do you

fucking care a single bit about any of those people? Do you look back on any of those people and be like, oh my god, the world's lost Garrison Keillor as a fucking, a commentator about some weird little town who fucking cares. I am concerned that I won't know

what's going on in Lake Wobegon. Oh man. Tell you what, it's a lot less grabbing. No, but like seriously, like what the fuck? Like there's, there is nobody who cares on,

I genuinely feel on either side that is like blown away that harvey weinstein isn't like an executive producer anymore and that charlie rose doesn't have a tv show and that matt lauer's off tv did you even fucking blink when matt lauer got let go like who the fuck gives a shit a single shit about any of this stuff nobody fucking cares and they're making it seem like this is the most devastating blow you could you could land but it's like no when the creeps get found out and then they get removed that's good well the thing is like that's particularly good for progressives right

like we are like that's that has typically been something that our side has wanted to have happen right so i find the same i find the same message like it's like yeah i want to know anybody i don't care how much i like whatever it is that they produce right it matters not a whit to me how much i like the the product of somebody's art or you know whatever like if they are if they are like sexually ab's art or whatever. Like if they are, if they are like sexually abusing people or whatever, then who fucking cares? And I, I'm like,

okay, I wanted to know that because I no longer want to help them do it. Yeah. Cause if Beethoven was a rapist, you don't want to listen to his shit. Right. You know what I mean? Like,

I don't care how good you are at it. If you touch God's anointed, what you've done is you basically said, listen to these idiots. Listen to these idiots. Listen to them cheer. They're cheering. I know. You get this?

Wow. If you touch him, then you have opened yourself up to equal treatment. So you only go into war when you're in a righteous position and God's in the battle. But if you ever touch somebody that God has anointed, what you've done is you, here's what the Apostle Paul called the old King James. The Lord says to him, isn't it hard to kick against the pricks? What?

So this is the Bible verse, Acts 9, 5, and he said, who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus, whom thou persecutest. It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. It is when they're wearing a cup. That's for sure.

That's some cock and ball towards your shit right there. Yeah. Right. They put it in a little hole and then they step on it. In other words, you're only furiously kicking your foot at a blade. Against a penis. Against a penis. Say a penis.

Blade. Oh, blade. So take a look at who's getting hurt in this conversation. And what you're seeing blade. Against a penis. Against a penis. Say a penis. Blade. Oh, blade. So take a look at who's getting hurt in this conversation. And what you're seeing is. No, no. Like the people who are rapists or shitty or sexual harassers. Great. Right.

Cool story. I'm not sure. Again, I'm not sure how the world is worse off. Yeah. Nobody is fucking decrying that Harvey Weinstein isn't fucking, that Harvey Weinstein got arrested recently. Trump surviving. But I wrote in here that in the crucible of service, he would find God. Doesn't that?

I love that. Because this implies that he did not have God until he became president. Absolutely does. Absolutely does. So all these guys were knob-gobbling this motherfucker like crazy, talking about how righteous he was and he was an. Absolutely does. So all these guys were knob gobbling this motherfucker like crazy talking about how righteous he was and he was anointed by God. And this implies directly that he did not have

faith until service. They would probably say something like, you can be anointed and not have faith. But it is inconsistent with their message during the campaign. Absolutely. That was one of the points that I made. In the crucible of the ordeal

he will go through, he'll be forced to find God. Because that's what happened with Lincoln also. Why are you comparing him to Lincoln? Do you remember when Lincoln built a wall to keep all the black people in slavery? No?

So weird. Because he didn't do No. Huh. So weird. Because he didn't do that. Do you remember when Lincoln put unaccompanied minors in cages? Do you remember? You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth.

As right wing watchers to Alex Jones, he's defending Roseanne Barr's racist tweet by comparing himself to a gorilla, a comparison. Literally nobody is astonished. I don't disagree with that comparison at all. By the way, Roseanne Barr's tweet, if you're unfamiliar,

she wrote, this was on May 29th. She wrote Muslim brotherhood and planet of the apes had a baby that equals VJ and VJ is Valerie Jarrett obama white house advisor um and so that's who she's who she's making fun of here um so that's the tweet so he doesn't mention what the tweet is in this little rant but that's what the tweet was chimpanzees apes orangutans and you can see the comparisons. They teach that in sociology,

psychology, anthropology. It's well known. So... Why would they teach that in psychology? Why would they teach that? In case you're a zoo psychologist, where you set the... I like that it's like they teach that.

They teach that in all these different like fields of study. I don't think you're getting your fields of study right. You're just hoping that it's an ology. If you compare some black lady to looking simian, well, there's a reason. Because we are primates. No, that's not the reason that comparison is made. The reason that comparison is made is to be derogatory.

To dehumanize the person. You're not making that comparison because we are pointing out that we all have a fucking common ancestor. Yeah. We are not making a comparison to point out the biological fact of our shared DNA structure. Right. That is not the purpose. This is what we've talked about this before.

Language matters. The context, the surrounding language, the direction of language, how we use language matters as much as the words that we choose to put down. The wording itself, the factual content of the words that we use, yes, that is important. But the context around it, the intention of the language is every bit as important. And in here that the context and the intention is to be derogatory. Roseanne Barr's comment is not a biologically factual comment designed to educate people about our shared, you know, fucking ancestry. Right. And it's also, it also throws out the idea that throughout history, people have made a comparison of black people to

apes as specifically to be as derogatory as they possibly can to those people. They've done it over and over and over throughout history. It's a common theme. You can look back and find that theme throughout art and history, racist art and history. You can find it all over the place. Yeah, so like when Roseanne uses that same historical context. She's not saying, I'm doing it as a sociologist. Right.

Yeah. Roseanne Barr is not a sociologist. That's why there's so many comparisons to humans and monkeys and apes. Because some people look more... I hate how patronizing he sounds here, too. It's like, because you stupid fucking idiot. Like, yeah, if you drop all the context of history from that comment.

Yeah. Does it sound silly or whatever? Yeah. But you're you're also not only dropping the context of history, also dropping how the comment was even said. Right. It's specifically said to hurt and infl said. Right. It's specifically said to hurt and inflame. Right.

And I like that he posts up pictures. What he's got going on right now visually is he's got pictures of white people being compared to AIDS. Is it to say, like, it's not racist.

It's not racist. No, but every time it is derogatory. And as you mentioned, you know, when you single out a black person to look like Planet of the Apes, you cannot divorce the fucking racist history from that comment.

Absolutely not. More like it than others. There are some white people that look more like apes than other white people. There are some black people that look more ape like than other black people. I look ape like. Is he is he doing I have an ape friend? Is that what he's doing? This kind of feels like I have an ape friend.

I have a grape ape friend. I was once a racist black woman no wait that's not this is like the opening of the movie the jerk like i was born a poor black man i was once a racist sitcom with my shirt off oh god nobody wants to see that he's. He's weird and shiny and gross. I like what my favorite part about this video is about to come up. Because what he's about to do is fucking humble brag about his muscles. Yeah, about how awesome he is. About like, I look like a silverback gorilla even if I don't work out. Yeah, I don't work out.

And I just lift a car over my head and throw it over those mountains. It's so amazing. Yo, in my birthday suit, I look like a gorilla. I mean, I don't have to work out. I got big chest, big arms, big legs. I'm bow-legged. My feet are flat. Weird.

I climb in trees for no reason. I fling my poo at my neighbors. Sometimes if there's a rival male, I'll kill its baby. I don't have a front door. It's just glass where people serve me. My dad is someone I would send me in looking to. It's just the way it is.

And I'm proud of it. But, I mean, this whole thing is... Oh, then there's a picture of him ripping his shirt off. But, I mean, this whole thing is just absolutely ridiculous. I'm hairy like an

ape, too. By the way, I'm proud of it. Women don't seem to mind. They seem to like it. Except for the ones that divorce you. So, I would say that I look more Simeon

than my... Oh, God, look at this guy. Now what he's got is pictures of him fucking flexing with his shirt off. Fucking dad bod in full fucking view. This dude is 40 fucking whatever years old, and he looks every bit of 40 fucking whatever years old.

And he's fucking muscle flexing on camera. Like, I seriously, like, he is flexing like he's a little kid who's like, look at my muscles, dad. I lifted this book. He looks ridiculous.

He looks absolutely ridiculous. Most black people. But this mental illness of political correctness to say that we don't all at one way or another look simian is just a complete joke nobody's saying that you fucking fool

that's not the point of the fucking tweet it's not even remotely the point hold on guys just do me a solid just wait while I construct this straw man real quick let me just construct this straw man for you take me a minute I am very strong

I don't know if I mentioned earlier I can push it down very easily I'll fight a straw man for you. Take me a minute. And I can, I am very strong. I don't know if I mentioned earlier, I can push it down very easily. I'll fight a straw man. Behold. I'll fight a wicker man. So we'd like to thank all of our patrons, but of course we'd like to thank

our most recent patrons, Captain Doomsday, Sean, Connell, Kingdom of Heathen, David Smalley's Sandy Vagina. Okay, hold on, hold on. Guys, unfair. David Smalley does not have a vagina.

Vaginas are wonderful. Yeah. Vaginas are, they're both, they have both depth and warmth. John and Rena, thanks so much for your generous donations. We truly do appreciate it. You are the reason that Gloria Hill Studios exists and you're the reason that we have an employee. So thank you all so very much.

Thank you so much. We got an image of the back of a car. This is from... They didn't leave. They just have their email, so I'm going to read it off. But they sent us a message with an image for the back of a car. And Tom, this says, Trump, the man who left his great life

to be defamed, mocked, ridiculed, and humiliated to serve and protect America. And that is opposite on the back window of an image of Jesus. And then underneath it says, Donald is mine, chosen divine, stand with him before man, and I will stand with you before my father in heaven.

And then he also has the Trump bumper sticker. And United States Marine Corps, by the way, around the license. So Trump bumper sticker. On his minivan. On the minivan. On his minivan. Dropping the kids off at the pool.

So there you go. God, we'll put an image on this week's show notes. It's so ridiculous. You know, there is no message you can put that covers the entire rear of your vehicle that doesn't mean you're crazy. That's worthwhile. You're always crazy. You're always crazy.

You're always crazy. You're like, you know, it would really increase the resale value of my car. Exactly. If that's a car, you're going to junk eventually. Right. I'm going to coat it in stickers. You're never going to walk into the dealership and be like, what do you give me for this? And be like, rights?

What is this, like a kid's trapper keeper? You're covering it in stickers? Are you nine? Are they scratch and sniff? I got my Pearl Jam sticker around there all right so this is a message uh this is from matt matt at a great point about memorial days like the fact of the matter is no one gives a shit about living veterans they're expensive and they've seen it they they have seen the shitty world for what it is so it's mean, really what's amazing is, is like, it's so true. Like how much,

how often do we just not pay attention to veterans that come home that need help? You know, the amount of veterans that are homeless in this country are just, it's ridiculous. It's a ridiculous number. And so, you know, that should never happen. It should never happen. Like we have this weird fucking duality when it comes to our veterans. Like on the one side, like we cannot stop sucking veteran dick. Yeah. Like in terms of like the lip service that we pay to the military and to veterans.

But then when it comes to ponying up actual dollars, the VA is totally underfunded. And right. Yeah. It's like, Oh God, I fucking love the vets. Oh my God.

We love the vets. Yeah. Should we, uh, should we maybe give them medicine? I would love them, but not that much. I don't like them like them. Let me roll it back to like. Right.

We got a message from Galen, and Galen says, New order goal, basically for Adam and Eve, get five sex swings and build a Newton's cradle. That's a great idea. Wow. That's reason con. That's all I'm saying. I'm not going. We got an interesting message from Matt, Matt number one. And Matt says, you guys let this

one slip by. Alex Jones said giving kids condoms, giving the Boy Scouts condoms is like giving them guns and bullets. And he says, did he just say guns kill people? That the best way to stop kids from killing kids is to remove their access to firearms?

And that totally missed me, man. Yeah, it's right there. I think you're right. I think you're right. Giving them guns and bullets. He says it right there. Yeah. Good catch.

Tom, this is interesting. We got this from Wolf and it's a different form of scout. Yeah, it says here in Canada and I think this from Wolf, and it's a different form of scout? Yeah, it says here in Canada and I think in the U.S., but it might be different. We have the Army cadets. You train to do some soldiery things, but it's all done from the level of Boy Scouts, but a bit more Army-related.

Shoot guns, survival, and so on. I was in it for a few years until I moved. There wasn't any easy place to reach them, but it was great. Everything was free. Trips were free. Never had to pay for anything. Uniforms were free. So this sounds interesting, and the reason I want to read this is because there may be some folks in the audience who are a little stymied

or frustrated. The scouts, the boy scouts, the girl scouts are an option, but the boy scouts are not an option if you are a known atheist, an out atheist. We got a message from Jacob. It's a video and it's a baptism set to a Lebowski clip. It's very funny.

We're going to post it in this week's show notes. We also got a message from an Eagle Scout. And they basically said, look, when it comes to religion, it's kind of like don't ask, don't tell. Right. Yeah. And that's great if you're comfortable with that. And that's great if you're comfortable with that. Like if you're comfortable with not being out and not being able to be out

or your kids not being able to express that, that's cool. So we want to thank Chris Matheson for joining us today. Chris is a lot of fun, really talented writer, very funny guy. You can check out his new book, The Trouble With God,

A Divine Comedy About Judgment and Misjudgment. It's available on Amazon. We're going to put a link in this week's show notes. You could also check out his other book, The Trouble with God, A Divine Comedy About Judgment and Misjudgment. It's available on Amazon. We're going to put a link in this week's show notes. You could also check out his other book, The Story of God. He's a really funny author, so you should check out this book. All right, that's going to wrap it up for this week.

We're going to leave you, like we always do, with The Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment.

Deadpan sales pitch. Late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces. Cancer cures. Detox. Reflex. Foot massage. Death in towers.

Tarot cards. Psychic healing. Crystal balls. Bigfoot. Yeti. Aliens. Churches. Mosques and synagogues.

Temples. Dragons. Giant worms. Atlantis. Dolphins. Truthers. Birthers. Witches.

Wizards. Vaccine nuts. Shaman healers. evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential.

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