Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 421: Philosophers In Space

Episode Date: July 2, 2018

Thanks to Thomas for joining us! By his next guest appearance we expect him to create about 4 more shows.        Stories from the Week

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey, Tom and Sue, so it's Davey from SoCal again. So something that I've observed recently that your last show reminded me of, I haven't been seeing anyone directly endorsing Trump. Fox and the Christians don't count. They're statistical outliers. Anyways, all his supporters, all the laymen that I interact with and follow, don't praise and promote policies of him and his administration. They do, however, go out of their way to shit on people, usually the left, who take issue with the policies and point out actions they don't approve of.

During the wall argument, no one was praising Trump and his policy that I saw. All they did was argue that the liberal talking points were either incorrect or just as bad as his. It's almost like they can't intelligently and humanely defend the actions of its administration, but at the same time they can't denounce him due to some level of tribalism and are stuck just batting away at the attacks time, they can't denounce him due to some level of tribalism and are stuck just batting away the attacks on his policies. Literally between a rock and a hard place. Sucks to have talking to dissonance.

Glory Hole, gentlemen. Keep up the good work. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from gloryhole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 421 of Cognitive Dsonance. And we are joined, as we often are, by perennial regular guest, friend of the show,

Thomas Smith. Thomas Smith, the most handsome man in podcasting, which is a very, very, very low bar. That's the lowest. Coveted title. Lowest bar. That one, yeah.

Yeah, that's very, very low. Thomas Smith, if anyone does not know, Thomas Smith has a number of podcasts. Thomas and the Bible. Thomas and the Bible. Atheistically speaking. Name more than I don't do anymore.

Those are his primary. Those are his major shows that he's working on now. My Book of Mormon he did for a little while. He did the Book of Mormon for a little while. That's what he's known for. That's his claim to fame. Moving on. He doesn't do anything else.

I'm so glad to be on your guys's movie review uh podcast thanks for having me on well that was our last episode we just recorded for wild wild country you should have had you on for that oh did you get into that i tried to get everybody into that it's that was we did yeah we talked about it great yeah it's great we had sheila for life man sheila number four life she She would be, she's the true, I don't know, what the fuck, Maharishi or whatever. What is it? I forget all the terminology now. She's the true Bhagwan.

Yeah, she's the Bhagwan of my heart. Baba Ganush. So Thomas, you have a number of shows that you do actually work on, unlike the bullshit old shows that I mentioned. Tell us a little bit about what you're working on. Now that those shows are gone, you can finally tell me how you feel about them? It's like, no, it's still me. No one cares.

As always, Opening Arguments is killing it. I love that show. I'm a fan. I consider myself worthless on the show and just a listener. And that allows me to promote it as though it weren't mine. Opening Arguments is great. It really is, for me, the best place to just know what the fuck is actually

happening and not get a bunch of fake bullshit. Especially in a climate now where legal stuff is so important. Really, what's changed? Why is that? Maybe the president has several indictments of his cabinet. You know,

things like that, you know, you get worried about the littlest things. See, so I do the littlest true things. Oh, is he talking about that witch hunt where they found like 70 actual witches? Is that what he's saying?

Yeah. Yeah. And I also do serious inquiries only that one night. I paired it back to one episode a week, you know, a paltry one episode a week. I don't know if you guys know what that's like. Wow. That's fucking lazy. it's called Philosophers in Space. And it's a dorky name on purpose because what we're doing is being dorks and talking about,

or I guess nerds would be the technical term, and talking about philosophy as it relates to sci-fi. So we've covered a bunch of different episodes of different shows like Black Mirror and Star Trek, a number of Star Treks and different shows where we're taking like- Obviously you've covered Muppets in Space at this point, right?

Oh, that's a great idea. That's what your show is named after. We just replaced Muppets with philosophers, right? Yeah, those are the only two things with in space. In space. Are you animal or Kermit?

Who do you identify? We took our name from Spaceballs to Space... No, what is it? Jews in Space? What is that? Jews in Space? I've been to that Pornhub channel. I've got a bookmark next to nuns with guns.

It's actually about nuns that work out. It's way under, it's not appealing, actually. All right, so Philosophers in Space. That's, how long have you been doing that show? Oh, months now. I don't know what time is because I have a baby as well. That also happened since you last had me on your show. What's that?

What episode is the baby? Yeah, what episode is the baby on? Yeah, the baby is just another project, you know, another podcast project of mine. That you can abandon? He's going to rename it like three years into its life. It's in a little basket called Thomas and the Bible. It's just floating down a river,

waiting for someone to pick it up out of the river. Oh yeah, this is a little thing called Thomas and the Baby. I don't do that anymore. I pay for it though. I'm going to give her at least 300 episodes. Come on. We'll see. And then we'll play it by ear.

We'll see if the timing's still right. Absolutely. See where the audience sits. And you're still doing Comedy Shoe Shine? Oh yeah, still doing that. Plugging away. That's that one. And, but yeah, minimize that show, but I like that show. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. It is, uh, it's an acquired taste, but, uh, the people who like it are like, uh, like the bag ones called, you know, we've got, we've got some,

uh, a small, but very motivated and dedicated audience, which is very fun. So if you think you might like that one, check it out. But yeah, no, it's an acquired taste, just like me. Nobody has a taste for you. Let's talk about something more appealing. This story is from Right Wing Watch. It's actually two stories in one. It's kind of a twofer.

This is almost a Neapolitan scoop. If we had one more in here. Someone said scoop across these two guys. Let me tell you. Oh, God. So this is Dave Coach. Not Coach. Not a coach.

Daubenmeier. And Rick Wiles. I think we should start with Dave Daubenmeier. This is a talkie. Yeah. So we're going to play a little bit of this. This is from his show, Pass the Salt Live or whatever it's called. And I'm going to play a little bit of it.

And we're going to stop it as we work our way through it. Homosexual have anal sex with each other. Do you understand that? Do you think that's normal? Even the lesbians. Particularly the lesbians. I watch those videos with alarming regularity.

The lesbians that just crawl in there, man. If you're a lesbian and would like to have sex, you can go to Adam and Eve.com. Enter Gloria. Check out. Get 50% off almost any item. Free sex swing. Free sex swing, which you're probably not going to use.

You'll just use it as like a porch swing or something. That feels racist. I don't know why, but that feels racist i don't know why that feels racist oh gosh i'm glad dave like cleared that up right away do you think real quick do you think dave is worried about lesbians or do you think he's just right he's only worried about dudes having sex with each other not all dudes have anal sex the way. He's only worried about dudes having sex with each other because he wants to have sex with a dude so bad. This guy wants

it in the butt. That's what he wants. So much does he want that because he talks about butt sex more than people that have butt sex. He is seriously like such a sexual busybody. I know. If there was a gay couple

literally fucking in the ass in the room as he was talking, they'd be like, whoa, dude, like this is enough about, you know, sex. Come on, man. Like, all right.

He really does overdo it. They're like tagging him in. Come on in here, Dave. See how you can do. Swing, bat a swing. It's like the, you know, it's like, it's like how,

you know, fantasy football coaches probably know more about like all these stats and stuff than a lot of the players. You know, it's like, he knows all the stats of anal sex. It's like, you know what they do? They do this and they do this. And sometimes they do that. He's like, he's like an actual coach. He's like, no, you got to get your hips into it.

He's like an actual coach. He's like, no, you got to get your hips into it. I do love that he delivers this information as if it's like a revelation, as if nobody... This just in. I just found this shit out. He blew dust off a national treasure trove. I love also that we are 1.7 seconds into the clip,

but that's fine. That's fine. Here we go. You think it's normal for two men to get in a bedroom and have anal sex? Why do you think they have lubricant? Does he not know that straight people might use lubricant too?

I don't think he knows that straight people have anal sex either. He's confining this exclusively to gay dudes. What really shocks me about this is that he doesn't have to use lubricant, which means that he gets somebody wet. No, he's not having sex with people. This guy is not having

sex with people. My theory is that he has sex with his wife like once a year. And so therefore she's like, oh, okay. And then she's, you know, she's good to go. But like if you have more than that, more than that, he would need a lot of lubricant, I think.

He comes walking in and she's hiding the Astroglide under the table. It's all ready for you. Come on in, coach. Bye. Also, he says like, they go into their bedroom.

It doesn't have to be in their bedroom. You can fuck in any room. They could be fucking on the counter. I'm a three seasons room guy. I like to look outside, get a nice breeze. If I'm going in the back door, it's the mud room. What do you think one of the sponsors of the show, of the parade, was a lubricant?

What do you think these guys are doing when they get in bed together? Whatever they want. They're adults. Who fucking cares? Do you know what I don't think about? How other people fuck. Unless that's how I want to be fucking. I was going to say, I mean, I might think about it sometimes. I don't think about? How other people fuck. Unless that's how I want to be fucking. I was going to say, I mean, I might think about it sometimes.

I don't know. The only time you think about other people fucking is if you're like, I'd like to fuck like that. And he is thinking about this because that's how he wants to fuck. He wants to get tagged in. Right. They're doing that, which is unnatural. You don't understand that two men get in a bed together and they have oral sex with each other. And do you understand

we're calling that a marriage? Who doesn't have oral sex? Okay. Okay. This is hands down my favorite part. This is hands down my favorite part of this.

Because what these people inevitably do is always reveal how fucking boring and just nonsense their sex life is. They're just, they inadvertently, do you realize these people, they put their mouths on each other's sexual organs.

I mean, what is that? Normal? I mean, what are you? They have sex. I'm talking multiple times a fiscal quarter. Is that? I mean, this is just not... Of course that's not

normal. What are you talking about? And they just, all of a sudden, you start to be like, well, that's not just gay people. Like, what are you... Next thing you know, he's going to be like, did you know that sometimes she has an orgasm? It's like, alright.

I love the unnatural part where they're like, it's unnatural. He says as electrons of him stream toward us. Do you understand we're calling that a marriage? Do you understand that nobody will stand up and speak out against it? I'll tell you what, without it, you're not calling it

much of a marriage. Orals off the table, it's like, hey, so we need a new table. It turns out this table is not laid. We did not lay this table. America. Okay. Okay.

I didn't even catch this the first time. That's how much bullshit there is in this. The Chiron on the video freeze frame says like the headline, like what he's reporting on his news story is america calls butt sex marriage i now pronounce you butt sex you may now fuck the bride in the ass but like you said a second ago this just distills gay well okay it distills homosexuality down to one specific thing that yeah like one specific group of people might do and might even not do like it's just it's not it's not lesbians it's not you know like all this stuff and then he just obsesses about that one thing endlessly and decides that that's the entirety of gay people is one specific thing that he can't seem to get his mind off. And what's nuts is there's the one

thing that disqualifies you from being married, right? There's this thing that disqualifies, you could have all of the other things that are listed, but this disqualifies you. Not, you know, maybe having an affair, that doesn't disqualify you probably in his mind, you know, because he could probably patch that up with your wife or your, you know, well, with him, he wouldn't even admit that you could have a significant other that wouldn't be his wife. So I'll just say you could patch that with your wife. So for him, you know, infidelity might not be the breaker. What's the breaker is, is that you two are people that I can't comprehend have sex somehow. So I'm not going to like, cause that's the one thing that he rates the marriage on is the sex. It's so funny. Like these guys who get so worked up about homosexuality, they are

like in their minds, marriage and sex, marriage is just what you do in bed. That's all. For these guys, it has to be that answer, right? Marriage is just sex. That's it.

It has to be since it literally says America calls butt sex marriage. Right, it's just crazy. Like that's all there is to a marriage. It's like, I don't know, like are we, are we raising children together? Are we financially entangled? Are we emotionally involved with each other? Do to a marriage it's like i don't know like are we are we raising children together we financially entangled are we emotionally involved with each other do we have each other's like best interest at heart none of that makes any difference instead it's like

how do you fuck what way do you like to fuck that's the whole of marriage this is a minor point but like speaking of straw manning i mean if there's one thing like, like you can, you know, you exaggerate to make a point or whatever. If you did a poll of America and been like, is butt sex marriage? I'm pretty sure you'd get 0.000% of people saying, yeah. It would be just this guy. He'd be like, yeah, that'd be his answer. Yeah. Even if you ask the question, what is marriage? And it was multiple choice. And there were only three answers.

And one of them was butt sex. You still wouldn't come up. You just want to know. You just want to know the teacher like, is this right? Because it says butt sex here. My scantron is weird. Yeah, someone pranked you. Yeah.

I also need to ask, you guys are more familiar with this guy, I think, than I am. What stadium is he broadcasting from the middle of? Is he just on? Stadium of the green screen? I was going to say. It's where the green screen Packers play or whatever. Is the audience to believe that like,

this is just after the game, like it's some post-game coverage? Oh, to the prayer and the butt sex thing. Like the, you know. ESPN is interviewing him about butt sex after the college football game that just happened or something. So, Coach, sometimes when people do a

good play, you tap them on the ass and say, No, I don't! Fuck you! Why do you spend so much time in the locker room? Why do you spend so much time? How would you know if you weren't there too? I like your butt for sex. They're going to hurt somebody. So Mark Harrington's on the largest radio station in the Columbus area.

Oh my God. The largest radio station in Columbus, Ohio. He's reaching tens of people. Oh man. As I said the other day. He's reaching tens of people. Oh man. As I said the other day, radio is the podcasting of the future. Go to school, become a broadcaster,

reach dozens of your friends. I love that he clarified though, because literally when he said the largest radio, I was like, oh, do I know what this is? And they said in the Columbus area. I was like, oh, do I know what this is? And they said in the Columbus area. I was like, OK, never mind.

I'm kind of a big deal on the AM file in and around the Columbus metro region. The only thing you hear in Columbus metro region is guns cocking and people killing themselves. And they're doing an interview. And Mark said, well, let's let's start here for a minute. Let's talk about what homosexuals do. He said, homosexual men insert their penis into the anus of another man. Oh, my God. That's what butt sex is.

Now you're just, oh, he puts his penis in the butt, guys. Oh, I can't wait for the rest of this one. Sorry. Somebody just fucked this guy. And they cut him off. They wouldn't let him go there. Do they have to do whatever they can to hide the truth? Maybe they should have lubed it if they wanted him to go there.

Pay a little attention. Warm up the area. Do a little work. Fucking don't be rude about it. Don't pretend you just slipped. That doesn't work. That was... Well, now that... Anyway. Yes?

Someone just put one of those Piso Mahato coats back here. This is a wet floor. I don't even know where I'm going, yo. Cuidado, cuidado. Yeah, not since that viral video of the guy slipping on ice for like 10 minutes. That's the kind of slip it has to be

to accidentally do anal. Oh, whoops. Hold on. Just keep going. Don't clench. Don't clench. Hold on. I'm still whooping. Relax. Relax. Still whoops. I'm still, this is still part of the action. Hold on. Still whoops. It's like a

slow motion here. Now breathe out. Now Still whoops. It's like a slow motion here. Yeah. Now breathe out. Now still whoops. I'll text you when I'm done. They cut him off. Like somebody said, the reason why they cut him off is because he's like,

you know, they put their peepees in their butts, guys. Yeah, he's revealing this secret. Like he thinks the reason they cut him off is he's telling these deep dark secrets that nobody knows about gay sex right and really it's just like inside the fucking nostril of mount rushmore and yeah yeah and really it's just like um we're not going to talk about butt fucking on our radio program you fucking creep. You moron. Like, that's, what are you, this is

politics. Like, what? Supreme Court. Like, what are you doing? This is... Ruth Bader Ginsburg's like, it's fine if you just, you know, there's a little trust involved, but whatever. Back in my day. Sir, the question we asked you was

do you think the Democrats can swing the midterms? You went into anal sex and stuff. Like, sorry. Now, if I, hey, David, help me out here. I ain't never been a homosexual. But David isn't that. But I'm willing to try.

Not openly anyway. Right. You guys don't have access to my Grindr account, do you? But Dave, if you'd help me out, we could change that. Just saying, Dave. Be my assistant coach, Dave. He means help me out like in the way, like in a romantic comedy where the dude comes and helps her with a golf swing from behind her. That's what he means. Hey, Dave, help me out. I've never been on a homosexual.

With your hips. Moving his hips around well it's really quite simple David isn't that what homosexuals do help me out David when two men are married love each other very much

oh my god what did he think it meant before he came to these revelations love each other. Oh my God. Are we really doing this? What did he think it meant before he came to these revelations? You know? Because clearly this is all new information for the culture. Finally watch that film strip they show in health class.

I thought it was just sideways lying down. But it turns out... I just thought it was aggressive cuddling. ...are married and love each other. How do they express that love in a physical way? You want to know how, Coach?

Oh, please stop. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, so describe what's happening. You can't see it. There's a guy driving a car and he has an Amish beard that's flesh colored. I love it. They cut to this guy driving, filming

and talking at the same time. I kind of hope they cut to this guy getting in a horrifying traffic accident. Don't YouTube and drive. Just like you said, they insert their penises in each other's anus. They perform oral sex on each other's penis

and on each other's anus. Is there a menu of items? It's just like, this is a fixed menu, sir. This is a fixed menu. We don't do substitutions. How do you think the semen is going to get out of there?

Get your ass back there. Get your mouth on that. Do I have to rim that guy? If you don't, it's not sex. Sorry. You didn't have sex if all you did was blow him and fuck him in the ass. You can't wear the rainbow. No parade for you. You can't wear the rainbow unless you taste

the rainbow. Skittles got weird. Just ask Trayvon. I love this guy though. Cause he's just like, here's what they do. They,

they, they put their peepees in other people's butts and sometimes they put their miles on people's butts. Yeah. They might as well be saying peepee and poopoo. And like, that's what this sounds like. This is like two,

like what? Nine year old guys, maybe like, you know, something like 11 when you first start kind of knowing stuff, but you really don't know anything. And you're like, what, nine-year-old guys, maybe? You know, something like 11 when you first start kind of knowing stuff, but you really don't know anything. You're like trying to talk about it. That boner was an insult.

Yeah, yeah. They take their pee-pees and they touch them pee-pees together. And then they... Then they get the big tingle. Every time two pee-pees touch, a unicorn is born. That's how we get the unicorn milk.

Hey, folks, that's pretty much it. And we call that a marriage. Wait, we went out to our correspondent. He responded with this. Oh, my God. Thanks for being out in the field, buddy. We appreciate it. Our man on the street literally driving a car.

That was what I was going to say, too. I love that this guy, how does this guy live with himself? Like, this guy's job, apparently, this guy's job, apparently, is like, okay, whenever this fucking Dave Dobbenmeier weirdo gets a bizarre boner that he doesn't know how to deal with, he goes to his correspondent. how to deal with it. I don't know what to do with it. He asks, he goes to his correspondent,

he goes, man out in the field right now to tell us, we got a man on the scene to tell us, hey, what do gay people do with their peepees?

And then this guy's like, fuck, oh my God, is this really my job? Okay. Let's cut over to Jim. He's on the street on his way to rest area

number seven on I-65 for reasons we won't talk about. No, it's like, it's so important. It's such breaking street on his way to rest area number 7 on I-65 for reasons we won't talk about. It's so important. It's such breaking news that it's like, dude, you answer that phone. You answer that fucking phone whenever he calls. Whenever Mr.

Dobbenmeier needs to know what gay men do with their peepees, I don't care if it's the middle of the night. I don't care if you're driving. I don't care what you're doing. You answer that fucking phone and you do a weird video blog about what gay men do with their peepees. He's like, okay. He gets a weird call at like 2 a.m.

and Dave's like, no, tell me slower. Tell me what they do slower. Grandma, shut up. I've got to take this call. I've got to describe anal sex. I just would love to imagine that that guy went to journalism school and was just like fucking... I thought I was going to be breaking Watergate and stuff. But like, I just take a call and explain gay sex to this guy.

I don't know. What is my life? Breaking anal gate. And we call that a marriage. We call that a marriage. And when we start calling that a marriage they're not a church in America that'll even talk about it and then they go kiss

their adopted children oh that's my favorite part that really is my favorite part because that's just bad hygiene I mean you definitely if you're shotgunning someone's ass just use a little mouthwash I was going to say some Listeristerine is just polite at that point.

Just take a shot of the Listerine. Like, just a common courtesy. And if you want to shotgun someone's ass. I just want to ask these religious nutjobs, like, if the good Lord did not intend the anus to be involved in sex in some way, the good Lord did not intend the anus to be involved in sex in some way. Why is it as close as it can fucking possibly get to the vagina? Like just, it is as Clive measured. It's as close to the vagina as you can physically get.

Like it could not be any more clear of a signal that sometimes maybe the ass could be involved in stuff. Why is there a G-spot there? I think that's a more important question. We're talking G-spot up in that place. It's like, oh, we're going to have this thing and I don't know, cover it in nerve endings for no reason.

Whatever you do, don't touch it. It's like a gremlin. You can't feed it after midnight. You can't feed it a dick after midnight. You can't fuck it after midnight. You can't feed it a dick after midnight. You can't fuck it after midnight. I mean, admittedly, no matter where the good Lord put the anus, somehow it would be involved in sex. Like, it just would be.

Yeah, it's like your forehead. We're human beings. We'll fuck any hole we can fit. Like, we'll find a way. Are you kidding me? But he could have made it a little harder is what I'm saying. Like, it could have been like, oh, the anus is on like the back of your knee or something, you know, just something.

Or on the top of a mountain. A 15 year old boy would still fuck it. If you're 15, it could be on, you cannot create a hole. You'd be like, I fucked it. I don't care. Totally agree, Tom, with that expert analysis. We would still fuck it. I'm totally agreed. But I'm saying the case would be a, I fucked it. I don't care. Totally agree, Tom, with that expert analysis, we would still fuck it. I'm,

I'm totally agreed, but I'm saying the case would be a little easier to make for these religious nut jobs that like, look, this clearly wasn't intended. Like really? This is, I mean,

this is as close as it gets to the action, man. Like, I mean, it's God. Couldn't you just like fucking enchant badgers to bite your cock? Yeah. What's that saying?

Like when God opens a vagina, he closes an asshole or something like that. Could have done something like that. I think it's a rich man. Isn't going to get into a vagina. Unless he passes through the brown star. Stick his needle in the anus. So we're going to play the second clip. This is Rick Wiles.

Now he's not talking about gay sex. Thankfully, he's talking about something he really knows about abortions. His mistresses are intimately familiar. I'm sorry. I only come on your movie review podcast to do gay sex stuff. Why are we reviewing

Brokeback Mountain for the 300th of all times? I'm like your correspondent, you call. Where does the penis go? All right, let's get out a pen and paper for you again.

All right, so here's Rick Wiles. Judgment's coming. And don't think because Donald Trump's in the White House that that's going to save us oh my god i'm gonna put that genie back in the bottle as much as the literal jesus christ

perfect man in every way is in the white house that doesn't mean that we're not gonna i gotta ask actually let's stop let's veer off into Trump territory for a second here, Thomas. Oh, sure. We have been dealing with a lot of clips that have been talking about him as Cyrus, sort of a non-religious person who's here to save all the religious. And they always talk about him as anointed and things like that. and things like that um they they are really trying to like justify a pretty non-religious person as their guy yeah i mean that's the thing is like when i read through the whole fucking bible for 800 years it felt like i mean you can justify any goddamn thing you want like any story you want everybody knows i mean any story is in there and uh there's there's who do

they always say it is i blank on the names you know, there's 700 million fucking names in the Bible, but there's the one where they're like, Oh, God ordained this guy to lead, even though he was not perfect. And I think that's probably what you're talking about. And like, yeah, that's super cool for the, them to be saying now, except five minutes ago when it was Obama, then it was not that. Like all of a sudden it was like the world is ending and the whatever. And it's just so convenient and, and nothing is more fucking embarrassing. I would just be so fucking embarrassed to be an evangelical right now, because you guys have seen that chart where it's like in 2016 or 2015 or something where they ask the question, can a person who lives in an immoral life still be a good and moral leader or something like that?

And evangelicals said like, you know, like 20% of them said yes. And then all of a sudden. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. What do they say now? Yeah, yeah. When they handed that paper to him was it black you know it is the most embarrassing stat because if you look at the graph that 20 skyrockets up to like 118 they're like oh no no in 20 2017 or 16 of course yeah no definitely we always thought that you could be immoral and whatever.

And it's like, if there was one thing, if there was one fucking thing we could have counted on these dickwads to do, these evangelical fucking pearl clutching pieces of shit, if there's one thing they could have done has been like, well, I'm not voting for Trump. Like he's clearly an atheist and he's clearly a disgusting human. That would have been one thing. The Mormons almost did

that. I have a certain respect for the Mormons because a lot of them were like, nah, I'm not voting for this fucking guy. I'm not doing it. That would have been the one goddamn thing we could have counted on these people for, but no. That's not going to save us. We're still murdering over 4 million,

4,000 babies a day. Yeah. 4 million. Slightly different. Yeah. I love that. That difference though. When you're like,

Oh, did you know he stole over 700 quadrillion? Sorry. 7 cents. It's like orders of 4 million. I misspoke. It's like orders of magnitude. 4 million. I mean, 4,000. 4 million a day.

Do you think that's a misspeaking? 4 million a day. 4 million abortions a day. You would see, it would be like a fast food chain. You just see everywhere. You just drive through. Yeah, drive through, get your abortion. Like a crane game.

The claw. The last and only words my child ever spoke. Still killing them every day. Let me ask you, America. When they slaughter a little baby in a Planned Parenthood

baby butcher shop. Baby butcher shop. They've got a baby on the wall with all the cuts of meat like the porterhouse and the rump. Rubber baby buggy. I was thinking it was like baby's first butcher shop. Like it's all

little mini versions of the things. Safety fillet knife they're using. I just like the idea. It's got little mini versions of the things. It's cute. They have a safety fillet knife they're using. I just like the idea. It's got a rounded edge. They have bandsaw with no band. It's like a rubber band for your arm. It doesn't do.

You walk into the baby butcher shop. You're like, oh, it all looks so good. Oh, it's going to be hard. I'll take... We're having company. I'll take the twins. I'll take the twins. How many does that feed? Are they eight weeks?

Okay, appetizers are good. I've got that down. I'm pretty sad. You know what? Just give me a bag of legs. I love the legs. A drumstick. Fry them up. It's nice. All veal. The legs make a good appetizer, I've noticed.

We get a good stock out of them with all the, you just, it's gone. Baby. What I love. They just like have like the hooks and they're just having the babies. They just slide through on their conveyor belt. You know,

that's one thing too, that I, I know, you know, Tom, you, you've gone through like when I when we had this baby, I just didn't know because for many reasons, like sex ed and reproductive education is terrible in this country. And, you know, I'm not a woman and I didn't know. But when they talk about like abortion at like, you know, seven, eight weeks, 10 weeks, there's fucking nothing there. Like we got it. We got the, you know, the ultrasound of the baby at, I don't know,

eight weeks or something. And it's, it's literally like the doctor's like, oh, that right there is the slight vacuum that a thing will be like, it's literally just like a spot of emptiness. There's nothing there. They talk early on about the fucking yolk sack and shit. Like it's, it's like six, seven, eight weeks. We're talking about something that's not even a raisin.

That's a spoonful of sugar. Who fucking cares? Yeah. Like who cares? It's like, if it's not bigger than a poop, it's not worth worrying about. Well,

hold on. Who's, who's are we talking about? Cause that's, I mean, I'm just saying. Like, I'm not even talking about like a protein shake. I'm talking just, you know. Where does that baby's blood go? Where does the baby's brains and guts go?

Tell me where it goes. A lot of times they don't have a developed brain yet. Let's guess though. Let's, let's just pick out some. I think you have to, just like when they take the oil out of your car, right?

You have to put it in certain buckets and it needs to be taken away by the EPA. That's what I think happens to it. Tom, do you have any ideas? You know, those dumpsters outside the fast food restaurant, it's like grease only for being recycled.

Yeah. You know, we're in a new environmental place. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Oh, nice. So that's actually where... Ladling it on there. Where do you think Frankenbabies come from? And there's lots of those.

We know that. When you said dumpster out back of the fast food thing, I thought you were going the route of when they leave out all the old buns and you could just like... You have a homeless dude who wants them and they can have them. I thought you were going the route of when they leave out all the old buns and you could just like... You have a homeless dude who wants them, they can have them. I thought that's where you're going with the baby parts, but no. If we don't recycle the parts,

how are we going to make the human cyborgs to control the universe as part of the one world government? How are we going to turn all the frogs gay? I don't even know at this point. These parts don't make themselves! I'll tell you where it goes. It goes down the drain into the sewer system. Because it's infinitesimal.

No, come on. They have a garbage disposal. We just jam it, stick them right in there and whirl it around. I mean, he's kind of right, though, because most abortions would, I mean, like, it's going to be most babies be... Most babies, if you miscarry or whatever, it's the size of nothing. What do you expect? Have a fucking tiny coffin made out of two Legos?

Well, that's... Dude, you joke, but that's the fucking state law. Oh, I know. You have to cremate it. They were saying a kid with one match. That's it. It's over. Yeah. It has to have a cremate it. They were saying a kid with one match. That's it. It's over. Yeah. It has to have a will and shit. I would do an Archimedes lens

on it to a magnifying glass. Like burning ants with a magnifying glass. And the blood of those babies is running through your town's sewer. Well, so is poo. I don't care what goes through the sewer. Grosser things are in the sewer. Yeah, so is poo. Like, I don't care what goes through the sewer. Like, grosser things are in the sewer. Yeah, which

is grosser? Like, some disgusting, like, just the worst diarrhea you've ever seen or some like, a tiny miscarried fetus or something. You know, like, I'm honestly, that's not on my high on my list of things I'm grossed out about. He says it as if, like, I'm, like, worried about

the sanctity of my sewer, though. Like, I as if I'm worried about the sanctity of my sewer. I'm going to be like, what? Not in my sewer. My sewers are oh, that's gross. Who's going to clean the sewer of all these baby pieces? I don't care what's in my sewer. I don't like to

know I have one. I nominate Sanctity of My Sewer for an episode title or some shit. That's awesome. The Sanctity of My Sewer. Back in my day, you could eat off the goddamn sewer walls.

Under your street. The sewage pipes in your city carrying the blood, the guts, the brains, the tissue, the gallbladder, the pancreas. Are you grossed out yet? Put your hand in this bowl of spaghetti. Close your eyes.

Just mathematically, though, I feel like a lot of people also die in places, like in hospitals. Where does that go? Does he think that there would be no, you know what I mean? People are a lot bigger than tiny,

tiny, tiny fetuses. So I just, I question his math. Like I feel like mathematically abortion's not making a big dent in the human remains, you know. I also feel like if like what he's saying is we're just like flushing them down the toilet, right? Because they're tiny and that's we are like they're just then they're moving and acquitting.

I'd be like, well, it goes. Yeah. Okay. Nothing changed. It happened under my foot. I don't care what happens down there. Well, what is what does a woman do who has a miscarriage? Right.

What does she like carefully get a fucking like a spider out of the kitchen to scoop it? Like, you know, I mean, like she got a slotted spoon to get it out of there? Just walking around like, I don't know. She's got a turkey baster. She's scooping it up. What the fuck? You put it in an ice cube tray for later? What do we do? I don't know. Put it in with the sea monkeys and zap out. I've got eight of them in this

ice cube tray. Just keep freezing it. Of all the babies murdered in your city today, going right into your city sewer system, you're actually drinking. You're drinking the baby's blood. Wait, what? I'm drinking water? Hold on.

I'm drinking the sewer? Where does your water come from? How does he think anything works? Like, how does he? Like, anything. Like anything, like just virtually most of civil engineering and science and medicine, just everything. Like how? I don't know.

What can you say? I just feel like this is the aforementioned protein shit. Like it's just. This guy thinks you got to tap her to the sewer in your fucking house. Yeah. Like this. He thinks the sewer just flows around a little bit and then there's a big I don't know. There's a pipe that goes from the end

of where the sewer goes and it goes back around to the water supply and it like just like a big strainer on the colander on the top. It's a coffee filter right back in there. I sift out the big chunks. We don't want to get like a couple Brita pitchers and that's it.

You go to change a Brita pitcher and it's like full of corn again. Oh, God damn it. Peanuts and corn. Peanuts, corn and antibiotics. Fill this thing up every time. Return of the frogs game. Being recycled and going right back into the city water supply. Cannibalism.

What the fuck are you talking about? I think he is. There are some municipalities that have experimented with pulling water from waste. Like separating water and waste. So in order to have more water. Right. Yeah. So I think he's suggesting that.

Sewer treatment plant. Yeah. But he like clearly doesn't understand. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So I think he's suggesting that. Sewer treatment plant. Yeah. But he like clearly doesn't understand. Yeah. How that process works. It like filters and reverse osmosis work. Yes. Yeah.

It's just like, well, you're drinking baby blood. No, I mean, that's not, they're not like, yeah. Filter everything out, but the blood. We have an everything but baby blood filter. Again, if you did no abortions ever, still feel like you would have like by his theory like wouldn't you still have the human just adult human blood everywhere that you're drinking and when you cut your finger yeah like like and you're like oh shit and you run it under the sink and clean it up he's just like oh my god we're not all cannibals what about when what when it

rains on a graveyard that wastewater flows into somewhere? You know what I mean? Like, we're just like, oh, God, we're not grossed out by that. But we're certainly grossed out by this imaginary, like, full term baby that people are cutting out of women's wombs and chucking in a garbage disposal and then squirting down our sewer. Well, that's that's the myth. Right. That's the myth. That's what it's trying to say, is that there's a Cuisinart we stick up there and eat full-size

babies that are ready to be born tomorrow. Right. Yeah, their fucking baby's already got like three signs it's learned up there. Yeah, the fucking baby's got a degree. Yeah, and it's against the mom's will. The mother wants the child, but the state, because of Obama, is like, no.

We have a quota or something? I don't know. We got to sacrifice to the deep state. The government would never separate mothers and their children. Right, you're right. Not in this country. That's a good point. I feel like we covered that one.

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pot kitchen croaken kate spade was killed to keep her from ratting out the Clintons. Now, you might not be familiar, Thomas, with who Liz Croken is. I am not. Liz Croken is a very famous YouTube star who probably has dozens of viewers. Potentially. On occasion will record videos from her kitchen. Weird conspiracy videos. Have you heard about QAnon? Have you heard about this stuff?

No, sorry. What is that? Oh my God. Oh my God. You're just, yeah. So,

so there's these, there's this conspiracy theory out there that president Trump is actually mobilizing a large group of the department of justice, I guess, to research Hillary Clinton. Right. And not that all of the department of justice, I guess, to research Hillary Clinton. Right. And not that all of the stuff that's, that's happening.

And that is like legal. That's happening out there is actually researching Clinton. And there's going to be a huge bombshell that releases. That's going to prove that Clinton was bad. I guess she's a pedophile Satanist that eats baby's faces, I guess. Right. And that's going to drop real soon.

And there's a bunch of people on 4chan that go author this, this post called Q and that that's where the, the, the, the stuff is leaking from an unverified 4chan post. That's where they collated all this valuable Intel is what you're saying. Yeah. So what you're saying is she's trustworthy than random internet strangers. Anonymous internet strangers. So what you're saying is this person is pretty

par for the course for YouTube. This lady is crazy even for us. She has in the past talked about how there's snuff films out there with Hillary Clinton fucking and killing babies. And eating their faces. And eating their faces, like cutting their face off and eating it.

And the Playboy Mansion has secret underground tunnels to like traffic to children back and forth between them and other famous people. She's like, it's amazing. She's as close to Alex Jones as Alex Jones is into himself. It's pretty nuts. So this is this is her. This is Liz Crokin. I know our listeners know who it is, but this is a very special episode.

So we're getting a chance to introduce you to Liz. So anyways, I started looking more into him and I'm sure you saw this. A few days after she passed away, she was spotted walking down the street with a creepy mouse mask on. Okay. All right.

I want to stop there. She's talking about Kate Spade's husband, who I think she was estranged from or something like that. Like they were separated or something. And he, after she died, this literally did happen.

He walked down the street. We saw a photo of it. Him wearing a rat. Like a mouse mask. Like a rat mask. No, it was from the rescuers. Is that what that's from? Yes, and this is Andy Spade

who actually is the brother of David Spade. I didn't actually know that. Oh, really? I didn't know that either. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So he's probably just a goofy guy. That could be. It could also be like you're grieving and you don't want people to see your face. There's never a better time for

highbrow physical comedy than right after the death of your wife. If you're going to do a public If he had big shoes, kill him. I know. He starts doing the miming thing where he's like, oh, here, I'll come do an interview and then he's like, oh, I'm stuck in a

glass thing. I can't do the interview with you. I'm stuck in a glass coffin. Hold on. I'm trying to reach you, but I'm being held by my neck. Give me a second. He finds out she died. He's like, now's my time. If he's pantomiming, noosing himself, that's the best.

I mean, like, that really is. He's just had this performance art piece that he's been sitting on. He's like, oh, my wife will never let me. Wait, what? Yeah. That's the best. I mean, like that really is. He's just had this performance art piece that he's been sitting on. He's like, oh, my wife will never let me. Wait, what? Yeah, now is the time. She did, huh? Now is the time. Oh, I mean, I'm sad about that,

but this one man show has got to happen. It's like the producers of mimes. It's like that bad where people are just like, oh my God. You shouldn't have done the blackface. This took a turn. And the mouse mask had a red scarf and she allegedly killed herself

with a red scarf. Thomas, are you not putting these pieces together? Thomas, when anything happens, what you have to do is just put the pieces together. Pay attention to the details and connect the dots. You just have to say

two things and then Clinton Foundation, I think. Now he's getting it. Do we have Q on the line? Did somebody get Q on the show? Mice are related closely to mammals. They are mammals like us

and Hillary Clinton is also a mammal. Now you know they've only sold one red scarf in the world. There's been one red scarf. First they had to use it for Schindler's List, and then it's the same one. That's morbid if it's the same scarf.

That's all I'm saying. It's a little morbid. That might have been a red jacket. Either way, sorry. That scarf is like the violin, like that red violin. It's just like everywhere it goes. Heartbreak. Dead Jews.

Now, someone that exposes SRA for a living and I talked to... What is that? Satanic ritual abuse. Thank you so much. I don't want to know that. I was so lost. I was like, SRA?

There's a part of my brain that knew that. I'm going to lobotomize just that piece. The satanic ritual abuse stuff is amazing. I was just chuckling at the idea of appealing to her credentials. Like, now look, okay, I am someone who

I read things on the internet and say nonsense about it. She has no initials after her name. Talk to children that have been abused. They are satanic ritualistic abuse victims. It's my own children. Now when I implant

these false memories into these impressionable young children, I then get exactly the story I expected. Honey, we're going to watch the omen. Come down here. I can't tell you how many of them tell me that when they are raped, often the rapist will wear masks like that. Weird mouse mask?

What the fuck would be the purpose of that? That's like extra traumatizing. They're just like, and you know what, you're also, I'm going to ruin cartoons and sex. God. This is definitely the most scientific and reliable testimony I've ever heard. When I talk to

kids that I've done, yes, literally numbers of them that I have talked to, they tell me, they say the Clinton Foundation is obviously making the shit up off the top of your head. They tell me, they say The Clinton Foundation Obviously Making the shit up off the top of your head

And she was like, George Soros raped me And I was like, that's Did you pick him out in a crowd? No, he was wearing a mask I was raped by the deep sea Okay, so when I saw this Weirdo Coming out of his house after

his wife just died with this creepy animal mask that has a red scarf and she died because of a red scarf allegedly. I don't think she died because of the red scarf. She died because of a red scarf. That's a hell of a way.

It's not like Doctor Strange's cape. You know what I mean? It doesn't have a mind of its own. It's like if you're hit by a car and you're like, oh, they died because of the vanity plate in that car. It was... I mean, my

God, these people are so weird and there's so much symbolism to that. If you just decide everything's a symbolRA, there's so much symbolism. If you just decide everything's a symbol first, that's what we have. She's like one of those detectives that's just got like a hundred

fucking spools of yarn and thumb tags just all over the wall. They all lead to one mask. And there it's all connected and you're just like, okay, anyway, we'll just go ahead and put this nice coat on you. Buttons in the front and buckles in the back. You're going to love it.

It's Kate Spade. But one of the anons on 4chan, I think it was 4chan, I could have been HM, pointed out... Oh, yeah, I can't wait. I cannot wait for whatever this is. Yeah, this is... Guys, this is hard hitting journalism

this is being made as we speak we're in a place I just want to pause real quick and say like like recognize that we're in a place where people say out loud one of the anonymous sources said yeah and then we're supposed to like listen to the next thing and it's not a

corroborated on anonymous source because that happens in the news all the time but those sources get vetted. And it's not a corroborated on anonymous source because that happens in the news all the time. But those sources get vetted. But it's like a random Internet stranger once typed something. That's how I know true. We were talking before we recorded the other night, and I want to mention this. I was listening to NPR the other day. And Thomas, you heard the ProPublica kids crying, right?

Like the little kids crying. Yes, I did. They were talking about it on a show on NPR and one of the women said, yeah, ProPublica released this thing and she specifically goes out of her way and this isn't like a news show. This is a pot. This is a politics show and she

stops and she says, yeah, NPR has not been able to independently corroborate that footage yet and she stopped that, you know, this is a huge story broke all over the nation. They're playing this has not been able to independently corroborate that footage yet. And she stopped. You know, this is a huge story. It broke all over the nation. They were playing this stuff. They played it on the fucking floor of Congress.

Todd Lou or Ted Lou or whatever played it on the floor of the House or the Senate. Right. And, you know, so they're playing it all over. And NPR stops to let you know, by the way, we haven't independently corroborated this footage yet. And you're just like, you know, and then there's these people on the other side that are just like, no, that fucking media's balls. That's all fake news, fake news. And then they're like, by the way, my anonymous source says. On fucking 4chan. 4chan user Hillary fucks kids says, you know, it's like.

Yeah, no, I agree. fucks kids says you know it's like yeah no i agree we're it's we're getting our news from like walrus 1375 and being like well i you know this by the way it's got to be true because somebody typed it once yeah it is like fucking anything do we not know that's how fiction has worked for thousands of years i it's a good it's a good point and it's it's something i mean we struggle with the other side of it though which is which is that the New York Times will find 700 different ways to not just say Trump fucking lied about something. You know, like it's tough. It's journalistic integrity is still very real and you can find it. And, you know, the people are struggling to cover stuff in the age of Trump because it's so difficult. But yeah uh, but yeah, the idea that

somehow that the, the media is, is overwhelmingly anti-Trump, like they have some anti-Trump bias is, is just absurd because you can't have enough anti-Trump bias. Like you can't, you actually, he has so many scandals and stupid shit every day that you literally cannot cover it in what, if you, if you talk to a space alien and said, objectively, how should we cover this fucking insanity? They would be like, oh, you should be going way harder on him like that. This is this is a joke. That's my opinion, though. I will I will say, too, you know, I wonder if that is a correction on The New York Times.

Like they're they're correcting for their own bias in a sense, because they're afraid that they're going to be viewed as a completely biased source if they do say, you're a liar. Instead, they're trying to really couch that language to try to protect that image. But at that point, it doesn't matter because

the people on the other side, they don't believe the New York Times at all anyway. I totally agree. What I believe happened is that when Trump won, they got spooked because they were not, you know, like there there was apparently enough people who took Trump seriously. And I think the New York Times were like, yeah, well, shit,

they're going to be in power for like four or eight years. Like we can't, you know, yeah, we got a oh, we made a mistake and not taking this seriously enough, you know, and I think they overcorrected the other way, personally. That they believe that that mask was strategically left, and he was instructed to wear that mask in public. And that the mask, it looks like a mask,

but the mask was really supposed to represent a rat. And he was... To what point? Yeah. To, like, to what avail? Like, if the symbolism here is so, like, couched, and, like and like nobody knows what the rat refers to or what he's ratted out for. Like like what is the purpose of a public humiliation if the public doesn't actually care if it does? Yeah. Right. Wouldn't even matter. What is the point of public symbolism if the symbols aren't widely recognized symbols that that we all get to draw from and say oh now i know a thing about you instead everybody

is just like we're not sure why he did that the scarlet a has a meaning right because everybody in the community knows what the scarlet is right you know everybody knows what it is and i love the idea too that like the point is that he was a rat or she i guess was a rat you know ratted out the clinton foundation is eventually the point she'll get to in an hour. But like he wore a mouse mask from the you know, rescuers. Like why didn't he just find a Master Splinter

mask and wear that? I mean like there are rat cartoon characters available like if you need them. This is what they're there for. So. It would have been awesome though because she'd be like, well, you see it was a master splinter mask and he's associated with the ninja turtles and she was turtling up and protecting this information you know how about how about like well he's wearing a mouse mask because you see what he represents is is what

the gop is afraid of the gop they're the party the elephant elephants are afraid of. The GOP, they're the party of the elephant. Elephants are afraid of mice. Anybody can play this game! Anybody can play this game! It means nothing! It's the easiest, dumbest fucking thing to do. If that is the level of manipulation of symbols and meaning and language that you're willing to do without

backing it up on anything, then you arrive ultimately whatever conclusion feels happiest to you. Well, she does this for a living and you guys don't. So I think I'm going to go with the experts on this one. Like, you know, expertise matters. And she knows what she's talking about. Gotta go with the person who does SRS or whatever she calls it.

SRS is different. I'm an SRA and an MRA. And when I was in college, I was the R-A. I'm an R-A, M-R-A, S-R-A. It's kind of unrelated, but still, I was. Damn it. Instructed to wear it in public because allegedly Kate Spade was ratting on these people.

That's why she was quote-unquote suicide. That's why she was quote-unquote suicide. That's why she was quote-unquote suicide. Can you, as the great Tom has said, that's not how you words. That's not how you sentence. That's why she

was suicide. Did you know that she was suicide? Huh. Honey, do you know that she was suicide? Huh. Honey, do you want to do the suicide? Not until after dinner. And he had to wear that mask publicly to let the others know this is what happens to you

if you rat any of us out. And I believe that because I know how these people operate and that's how they operate. Oh, thank goodness. Thank goodness, Tom. There's someone out there who knows how these people operate and that's how they operate oh thank goodness yeah there's somebody thank goodness tom there's someone out there who knows how these people operate and they're willing to say it too she just said and i believe that because i know it yeah that's what she i mean she you heard that right that's what she just said but you know you're also forgetting that she also had an independent source on this too from the

internet. She had an independent anonymous internet source. Yeah, fucking 69. Once in my GeoCities chat room, somebody wrote fucking you have to be a girl because you wrote it in the chat when we were

and I was jerking off to what you wrote. But I don't know off to what you wrote, but I, I don't know. You know, you guys, I, I, I hesitate to say this,

but I think I can poke some holes in this theory. Like I actually, I've got my whiteboard. I've got all the yarn, you know, I've got the, the bolts of board. And so here's the thing that,

that is so frustrating about this. Like Hillary Clinton is apparently the most powerful force on planet Earth. But she couldn't stop James fucking Comey from ruining her entire election by, you know, like and losing the election for her. By doing a bullshit press conference and announcing the nothing that she, why isn't a wiener dead? You know, that guy, uh, the guy who's emails like false falsely blew up that scandal again, the last minute before the election. Why isn't he dead? Why isn't he wearing a rat mask or whom? And, and there's like all the, she somehow, she has a satanic, powerful cult where she like has sex with children and keeps that under wraps.

But she can't. And films it. And films it. She can't seal the last 80,000 votes in three swing states to win. Like what the fuck? She has the power to get 3 million illegal people to vote and she can't send them to the right state. She gets 3 million votes in the wrong place. Because she got extras. She needs 80,000.

She's over her fucking quota by like 2,920,000. She called in her satanic connections, but she actually dialed the wrong area. And here's what's so frustrating about this, because I bet you guys know this because you're well, well-informed, but there's a lot of people who might not know that the Trump foundation was just fucking indicted. Well,

I don't know if technically it was indicted, but it was recommended for indictment in New York state for being the most fucking corrupt joke of an organization of all fucking time. The DA or whatever the fuck it is was like, yeah, this is a joke. Exploiting soldiers. Exploiting soldiers. The board did not know they were on the fucking board.

They hadn't met since the 90s. They literally called the guy who was like the fucking, I don't know, treasurer or something. They're like, do you know that you're the treasurer? What news to me? I'm not making this up. This is real. I'm not making this up. Well, I'm the banker when I play Monopoly, so it's the same

kind of thing. And like the idea that $500 bills in his inside pocket. They just keep pulling them out. How many of these do you have? He goes to protest his innocence. He like gestures and like Park Place comes out of his sleeve. His monocle falls down. My tiny metal dog is barking in the other room.

Hang on. Tries to get away in his car. He's just sitting there. He's just sitting in his metal car. Go away. He jumps on his horse, but it just rears. It just won't stop rearing up. I just, God damn it.

Thomas is trying to make a point. Go ahead. I think you just have to hit on the fact that his wife is ironing the clothes with the iron. I think he's got all of them. This is going to take forever. God damn it. It's not even warm. Mini iron.

My pants are a size 46. I have an eye the size of a thumbnail. Also, I keep getting it hot and it goes cold. I'm fleeing. I keep getting it hot and it goes cold in like a second. It's got like a lighter underneath it. Anyway, I want to make a very serious point on your very serious show.

They always ignore the corruption that's fucking staring them in the face. The corruption that is punching them in the dick. Like it's right here. It's in the news you can see it it's the trump organization is a bullshit now it's not a satanic baby fucking organization that i know of but it's and then meanwhile the clinton foundation is like squeaky fucking clean one time they forgot to like put one thing on their paperwork because it actually was

part of the Canadian law. Like I covered this, like it was Canadian law required that they didn't reveal certain donors because of privacy. And so they didn't. And then the whole world lost its shit and said, this is a corrupt organization. That's like the most wrong it's ever done. Other than that, it's just been a great charity with a perfect rating and like been amazing. And then the Trump Foundation, again, the board didn't know it was the fucking board. And these people are like, no, I know where the corruption is. It's in that mouse mask. And the Clinton found it like, fuck you, man. God, it's so frustrating. And then I want to know this, guys. Where does all this power come from for clinton where does she get all this enormous power because by all but you know if you ask any right winger trump is more rich than

clinton trump is more powerful trump is like how how has he not put an end to this like what are the rules of this marvel fucking universe where she has all this power my friend i don't know what the rules to our current universe are so i'm i gotta say like that one i'm, I don't know what the rules to our current universe are. I gotta say, like, that one, I'm like, I don't know, man, because I don't believe a lot of the things I see already. So I don't even know anymore. And they loved the FBI when it was going after

Clinton. They fucking loved the FBI. They couldn't get enough of the FBI's cock in their mouth when Comey basically came out right beforehand and really changed the numbers in a lot of ways against her and you're just like okay well now now what well now that's the deep state now it's the deep state and and there's been people who've been trying to rationalize we've heard people trying to rationalize that the re she wanted to lose so that the deep state would have like more power or some crazy shit that they're trying to.

I mean, like, like they're trying to jump through a lot. There's a lot of mental gymnastics that's going on. I mean, I think there has to be a lot of mental gymnastics just with them coming to terms with Trump one. Yeah. Let alone the rest of it. I know they're still arguing about Hillary fucking Clinton. It's been two years almost. I know.

She lost. All she's been doing is fucking walking in the woods and writing a book about how the fuck did I lose this goddamn election. That's all she's been doing. There are still people who are promoting the Obama birth certificate. Yeah. We covered this. We covered this a couple weeks ago. Oh my God, really?

People are still talking about the birth certificate. They want to get his presidency like expunged from the fucking record that's what i was saying like they really just wanted they just want to wipe it all from history they just want to validate anything he ever did whitewash yeah what do you think the uh let's let's let's talk a little bit about trump though what do you think the chances of him getting impeached are at this point? You do a legal podcast, so you know a lot about what's going on. What are the chances? I would say, so, man, I would say it's hard.

There's a number of models I can envision. And right now, what I am most worried about, what I am really fucking worried about about is that his approval is up. People think he did something regarding North Korea, apparently, and the economy by the numbers is very good because Obama fixed it. So I am very worried. I thought the blue wave was coming and I still want to believe the blue wave was coming, but, um, I, I don't know now. Like, I honestly think with, I think if I were to predict right now, my most sobering predictions of what's going to happen, I think Democrats will win more votes in November, but because of gerrymandering, we will end up with either a slight, uh, like a very slight Republican advantage,

or maybe a very slight Democrat Republican or Democrat advantage. That's my prediction in the house. And that's what matters in terms of impeachment. I also believe that I don't know that there is the will to impeach Trump, even among Democrats. I think there's some weird thing going on where they think somehow that's like impure politics to impeach a guy who so obviously needs to be impeached. So they're like they're thinking like, no, we just need to to we just need to elect someone else in 2020. And they're kind of more focused on that. Even if he gets impeached in the House, there is a zero percent chance of conviction in the Senate. That should be clear, I hope, behind all of this. I was merely evaluating will he be impeached, which is the majority vote in the Senate. That should be clear, I hope, behind all of this. I was merely evaluating, will he be impeached, which is the majority vote in the House. But I believe it's the majority

vote in the House. And then the Senate is two thirds. So that's not fucking happening. It doesn't happen. No, that's not happening. So no, I am very scared. I'm also worried that at this point right now, I'm worried he's going to be reelected. I haven't seen the numbers. I think it's it's scary but it might be true i'm his his approval rating is higher than it was when he was elected but it's still quite low isn't it it's oh yeah it's low but it's higher it's higher right now than obama's was uh at this point in his term that's it that's a true fact and that's wow that's the number of factors because

when obama was elected that you know um he got handed an economic meltdown and so his his approval rating was was down a year a year he obviously recovered this was like keep in mind that this was the lowest obama's approval rating ever was and this is the highest trump's approval rating has ever been right um but yeah no i'm'm very worried. It's not going to happen by itself. We have to go vote. It's just not going to happen by itself. And when you vote, you mean for a third party candidate, right? As like a protest vote?

Yes. If enough people send a message. Like, let's say you're in Florida and you vote for Jill Stein. Is that good? You're right. Should we do that? How much should we do that? A lot.

You're right. If enough messages. Should we do that? A lot. You're right. Should we do that if we care about women? Like if I really care. Oh man. Because I care about women. And if you're afraid of like a hawkish Hillary, let's say. So good.

If enough people write a message of support for women on a piece of paper and then chew it up and fucking swallow it. If enough people do that, then everything gets fixed. I don't know if you knew that. I actually read an entire Gloria Steinem book and a tampon every morning. I am very worried. Because that's how much I love women.

That's how much. I'm flossing with a tampon straight now. I wonder what percentage. women. That's how much. I'm blossoming with a tampon straight now. I wonder what percentage... What's up with these hoes? I don't know what percentage of your listeners understand these references, but the percentage that do are fucking loving it right now. They're just like, oh my god.

I remember that horrific episode or two of Thomas' show. Oh man, good times. Oh, man. Good times. I'm worried. And the thing I'm most worried about is if any left-leaning justice retires or dies or something. I'm incredibly worried. We are walking a tightrope right now.

And we're not even walking that tightrope. We're already losing some decisions. Yeah, because it's 5-4. They waited with Gorsuch and then they got Gorsuch in for Scalia and now we're basically back where we were when Scalia was in. We were, exactly. But if

Ginsburg or something happens to anybody from the else retired, it's going to be... Stop. We refer to her as the Ruth. Yeah, I'm very worried. I'm incredibly worried. Yeah. You know, absolutely,

mobilize to vote. That's one of the things that has to happen. I do think that this North Korea stuff is a flash in the pan. I feel like, you know, it bounces up now, but wait until gas prices,

you know, if gas prices keep going up. Oh, yeah, gas prices are very high. But wait until North Korea doesn't do anything. Yeah, right. Wait until North Korea doesn't do anything. Wait until nothing changes. I started to say it, but I don't know that they've got good numbers after this, you know, child

concentration camp decision. You know, so maybe I can only... Yeah, you know, it's an interesting political gambit, the child concentration camp. We'll see if it pays off but no i i i haven't seen the numbers after that i can only hope yeah that'll make a difference but i honestly don't know i i can only hope that you know if if if the world if the country is not just fucking you know unfeeling, uh, horrific people, uh, then I would hope he would take a dip from fucking internment camp.

But he had people, but he had people though that were, I mean, long time, full time, life long Republicans separating themselves from him during that debacle. Right. So I wonder how that's going to,

going to play. They're trying to play it up. Like, look at what we did, how we saved the world sort of feel, which is crazy because you broke the world first. It's like, you can't stand over it and be like, I fixed it. Part of me wonders

if the Republicans will just like, you know, it would be kind of crazy, but it's not an impossible scenario to think if it keeps doing this crazy shit. Is it possible for the Republicans to refuse to give them the nomination? No, I think there's a chance if I were to predict and, you know,

again, I just, all I do is evaluate a Satanist for a living. But if I, I'm an expert on Satan. That one's a seven. I'm evaluating. That's a seven.

We have a Satanist beauty contest, beauty pageant. It's great. It's a lot of tattoos visible. I read an anonymous comment on 4chan and the anonymous commenter on 4chan says that, no, if I were to predict, I think there may be somebody who tries to primary him, but that gets almost no support.

And then instantly, this is, you can hold me to these predictions, but I think that it will almost instantly be quashed or whatever in the, however that works with the Republican, you know, how does that work when there's an incumbent, they don't,

they don't, they just have the convention and then someone will be like, I'm primary and they'll be like, nah, sorry. They're all in. Republicans are all in. I'm telling you like there's,

yes, there are a few, there's George will or whatever. Like there's a couple that were never Trumpers, but there are a bunch of never Trumpers before the election. Yeah. Before the election, yeah. They lost control. They thought the McCain family's on board though. Yeah. No, no, no. Maybe lost a little because now we're making fun of

John McCain as he dies. And that's not there. Is there anything he can do to, to, to damage his career? This is, this is not your show, but I literally, this is one of the most disturbing things. When you hear those kids crying and you hear people decide that that's okay, I literally said, what isn't okay then? I don't know what's not okay.

I don't know what could happen that a group of people won't get together and say, well, when MS-13 does fucking nonsense, what about every fucking bullshit? I don't know what that would be. And I used to, I say this all the time. I know this is going all Godwin's law, but like I used as a kid, when you learn about World War II, you're like, how could that have happened? Like how in the world? How could a group of people? I know. And then in 2016, I think I said said this i don't know if it's on

your show but i said in 2015-16 i was like well now i kind of get it and then today i'm like holy fuck it's happening like what i feel like that all the time though i feel like i'm constantly looking around like that's got like i used to think that there was going to be a straw you know but now there's been so many straw Yesterday, he autographed dead people's photos on stage. He got, okay. Thank you for bringing that up. And we don't even care. And we just like fucking blinked and it's over.

Here's how fucking batshit that is. Here's how batshit that is. I saw the photo of that and I said, okay, that's a good onion piece. Like somebody did a good Photoshop and that's hilarious and not even Trump. I, my, my naive little Thomas brain. I was like, not even Donald fucking Trump. Autograph a dead person's photo that was murdered by a gang and present it on stage. Like it's a fucking, I don't know what, like a check or something.

Like, not even Donald Trump. At this point, he could have had their heads stuffed and it would have had the same. Seriously, like, fucking the corpse would be about as classic as being like, let me go ahead and put my John Hancock all over the face of your fucking dead kid.

I'm leaving it a present right now. Just in case it wasn't clear I was using this for clear political gain. Allow me to sign this. Oh my God. But like there's no more straws. We're out of straws. Does that photo go up in your like trophy room or something?

Oh yeah, we got, remember when we oh, also my son was murdered. But Donald Trump signed it. Bonus, guys. You probably want a phone. You probably want an autograph. Let me go ahead.

You got a piece of paper or something, anything I can sign? When the Sharks win the Stanley Cup, I'm not going to be like, oh, here, sign this garment from my dead grandmother. Like, that's what I. The only thing more offensive would have been if he would have presented them with precious moments of their people dying. Like a little precious moment statue of MS-13 executing their love. So it will always be with you. I got a little video montage I want to play for you guys. We got this footage from security cameras.

We got the White House guy to do a little video. Yeah, this hasn't been released to the public, but I pulled some strings. You wouldn't believe what satellite imagery's captured. This is amazing. Now you can see the pain evident in her face. She's afraid of immigrants like you should be. Hey, Thomas, if people are going to find you on the internet,

where would they look? Well, Serious Inquiries Only, Opening Arguments, Philosophers in Space, and Comedy Shoeshine. Those are the four. Again, Philosophers in Space is a really cool new project for philosophy people. There's a lot of good philosophy podcasts, but I think we're doing something

pretty unique there. So please check it out. And again, if you want reliable, non-bullshit information about what's happening in the news, Opening Arguments really is the place to go for non-alarmist, but actual accurate

alarmism. You should be alarmed. When the alarm goes off and there's actually a fire. Serious Inquiries only, I'm focusing on interviewing these days, interviewing interesting people, and that's always fun. But thank you so much for having me on,

guys. You know I've always been a lifelong fan. God, how long do we go back now? Like fucking eight years or something? Yeah, a long time. Seven years, I think. It's been really fun. And I always love being on the show.

Thank you so much. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for coming on. It was a lot of fun, Thomas. So we want to thank Thomas Smith for joining us today. Thomas, of course. Great guy. Amazing, hilarious guy.

He has great shows. You should check him out. Opening Arguments, Serious Inquiries Only, Comedy Shoe Shine, and Philosophers in Space. We'll put links in this week's show notes for all of his work. Thomas is a really funny guy, friend of the show, been a friend of ours for a long time. Check out his stuff

that's going to wrap it up for this week, we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed bubble, toil, and trouble, pseudo, quasi, alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment, Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens Churches, mosques and synagogues Temples, dragons, giant worms Atlantis, dolphins, truthers Birthers, witches, wizards Vaccine nuts

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