Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 426: Commando Badge

Episode Date: July 30, 2018

Stories from the Week          

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author of the book used the pseudonym Vicki Vale, if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, the photograph which showed somebody who had their dick split, the caption to that photograph always stuck in my mind because it said, the decision to have my penis split in half was a deeply personal one. Who the fuck is going to put it to a vote to have their dick split down the middle? And, you know, mind you, this was before the Internet, so you couldn't easily put out a big poll.

But seriously, I mean, who the fuck is going to tell people, hey, I have this idea about having my dick split down the middle. What do you think? Fucking nobody, man. Not even Eli would do shit like that. Hi, guys. This is Danny. I'm calling from Indiana.

I was born and raised here. You know, I get really tired of seeing my shit all over my home state. It really breaks my heart. It's so fucking true. Please save me. Bye. Bye, y'all. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended.

The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence. Too many topics that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 426 of Cognitive Dissonance. And Cecil, this is probably our last episode where we're in the press pool. It's possible we're going to get kicked out. You never know. It's a possibility.

Do you have to blow somebody to stay in the press pool? Is that how that works? You know, I don't know. Do you have to blow someone in the pool to stay in the press pool? I think that's just how you get $130,000 bonus. I could be, I'm not 100. The rules shift. Let's just say that that's compensated and not a bonus. I could be, I'm not a hundred. The rules. Let's, let's just say,

let's just say that that's compensated and not a bonus. That seems. Cause I think, I think there's no bonus. I was going to say, there's no bonus. There is no sexual interaction with Trump that one would describe as a bonus. Right.

Unless he has a heart attack in foreplay. Yeah, exactly. Because even if it's mid coitus, at the end of it, you put him in a sausage grinder or something. I mean that in the best possible way. I don't mean in the sense... A sausage grinder of

love. Of love and hugging. That's what I mean. It's a hugging grinder. Like they have. They kicked that lady out. They did. So just today, it's so funny. David made our show notes because the world gets crazier by the moment. And so I was literally checking the news after I got done working out before driving here.

I had like six minutes. Right, right. And in that six minutes, I find a story that was not available this morning when I was reading the news. And that is a CNN reporter was kicked out of a basically like a press conference that happened in the Rose Garden. She was disinvited. She was disinvited, they said, because she was being

rude. But she wasn't being rude. She was just asking questions that the administration didn't like. And she even said she's like, it's not, if you're uncomfortable with a question, that's not disrespect. And the White House was like, look, we believe if you're uncomfortable with a question, that's not disrespect. Yeah. And the White House was like, look, we believe in the freedom of the press, but not for you.

But only the press we like. But only when I pull it out of the hat. And it's not a practice. No, it's fucking crazy. And I know that people are going to say like, oh, there's so many other things to get worried about. Yeah. Okay. And I, you people are going to say like, oh, there's so many other things to get worried about. Yeah. Okay. And I, you know what?

Yeah. But like, this is one like we should be worried about anything that erodes the freedom of the fucking press. Anything that erodes the watchdog of democracy. The fourth estate is under direct attack by the executive branch. It's been though since the very beginning of this. And it's, and it's working. But now we're just watching it like openly. Yeah. of this and it's and it's working but i was just watching it like openly yeah there's this thing that's happening where people are like making it seem as if these people are enemies of the state

like they are like literal enemies of the state and you know you even have trump who says um he he tweeted out uh he he called the media the enemy of the state i mean yeah that's what he called it only using those exact words only using those exact words. Only using those exact words. Can you fucking imagine if Obama had done this? What were we saying earlier that happened when we were talking about it?

We were like, could you imagine if Obama did that? Like, and it's all these things. It's everything, every week. And I know that like, to some degree, that's like a, like that,

it's what about it in some ways. But it is, but it's also not. It's relevant in, like that, that's what about it. Yeah. Right. But, but it is, but it's also not, it's relevant in the sense that like, if we cared, if we would have been worried when it happened with the other guy, then we should be equally worried now. Right. And I, and I think that this is something we should all agree. It doesn't matter what side of any, any issue. This is not about issues. The, the, issues. The thing about talking about this is like, this is not a Republican Democrat thing. Like this is just a moment where we should say,

like, holy shit. It doesn't make any difference what party this guy is aligned with. This behavior has nothing to do with a set of principles or policies. This is just an erosion of our freedoms. We are less, like, I want to be really clear, like, we are less free as citizens when we don't have access to information and to questioning about our democratically elected officials. That makes

us objectively less free. This is an erosion of our individual and social freedom. We should be really worried about that. I don't understand how everybody's not like, what the fucking what? I think a lot of people are though. And I think you, I mean, if you scroll through on Twitter, you'll see two dozen things that you didn't even catch in the news that you're just appalled by, but people are at least talking about. There's all these little tiny things that happen throughout the day, and they're so numerous at this point that you forget about them. You forget that things happen because they happen at such a rapid rate, and each level is more appalling than the next.

Can I ask, do you think that this is a strategic attempt to overload the system? No, that's, I think that's putting, uh, that's putting a brain in something. I don't think it has.

I think it's, I think that's a plan behind something that I don't think is, that doesn't sound right to me. And the reason why I say that is because 10 years ago, I can't imagine this flying. I can't imagine 10 years ago when Obama was doing any of this stuff. Could you imagine if he would have came in and did half the things that President Trump did, and then he just kept on overloading the system. It would have never got that far.

Do you think it would not have overloaded the system? It would have never got that far. It would have stopped because someone would have stopped it. Well, somehow they would have stopped it. There would have been someone who said, you're not fit for office. We're going to run this thing that makes it so you're not fit for office. We're going to do this, you know, something

in some way to stop you from being president. One of the worries that occurs to me is that like... I wish we had no confidence. By the way, I wish we had just had a no confidence vote that the people could call. I just wish that we had something like that

here in the States. I know they have it in other countries where you can just be like, fuck that, no confidence. Let's see what happens. And if it's like a popular vote thing, I would love to see a no confidence vote. Yeah.

I would too. But I feel like... But could you have a no confidence vote and have an electoral college? Right, I don't think you can. Yeah, I don't think you can either. And I also wonder too, our system would find some way to abuse it.

Like our system would find, our system is constantly abusing these things. Like look at what happened with the way in which they abused the Supreme Court. Oh, yeah. When it was supposed to be Garland. Right. And it turned out to be Gorsuch because they abused the system to get it to stop.

Right. So it's not. So we would find a way to abuse it. What would happen is, is someone would get elected that we didn't like and we would immediately say, well, let's just do a no confidence right now. And they haven't even done anything we could try. You know what I mean? Like there'd be some way for us to find a way to abuse it. Yeah.

I don't even feel like we can trust ourselves with that. I feel like Kip in Futurama just wins that. Yeah. Yeah. So I tend to agree with you that like, that this overloading is not strategic or intentional. But the thing that like one of the many things that worries me is that somebody is going to notice that this worked. And then this will become a strategic.

That this will become used strategically. Someone knows that it worked once. And then they're going to say like, I just don't see it working with a Democrat, but maybe it doesn't work with a Democrat. Maybe it works with an ex Republican. Maybe, maybe overloading the people,

maybe overloading the citizenry on a thousand small atrocities with the recognition that that lets you move forward. The medium sized shit. Right. Cause really like i i i get this strong feeling that like where the real evil shit happens or the real i don't want to say evil shit but like where the real meat is is not in grand giant gestures right everybody watches that and it it's it's in the it's's in this medium size shit that squeaks through that nobody

notices because as you've pointed out, everyone's paying attention to others, to other shit. Right. So like, if you, if you recognize that, like you can strategically create a citizen fatigue for lack of a better term, will, will somebody not say, you know, what we need is to create citizen fatigue strategically. What we need to do is to disengage the voting populace to the point where they can't hear anymore. And then it won't matter if someone's yelling. I do believe that atheists are parasites in the sense they're benefiting

from everything that religious culture is built in America, but they're doing nothing to add energy into the system. All right, so let's talk about this story from... Let's talk about this story from, let's talk about this story from, let this story is from, it's a cath martini.

A cath amaranthi. Marilla, Marilla. Sure. This place. Yeah. Dot com. Atheist prime minister to blame for deadly fires,

says Greek Bishop, who looks like he shoots lightning out of his fingertips. Exactly, right? Like, leave it to the country that thought of Zeus to tell us about the Christian God.

This guy seriously looks like Raiden. He looks like the guy from Big Trouble in Little China. He looks like... Kurt Russell has to have a gun battle with this guy. Kurt Russell throws a knife at him.

Nice knife, Mr. Burton. He catches the knife. Big Trouble in Little China is an excellent film. Big Trouble in Little China, I rent it. When I was a kid, my dad never let us rent the same movie more than once. He had a whole thing about it.

And I sneak rented that movie twice. Good for you. Because it's Big Trouble in Little China. Are you kidding me? It's a great movie. I don't even know what it's about. It's about literally nothing. I have no idea and I just smile thinking about it. It's awesome.

It's like romance. Oh, fuck, dude. When I was eight? I've seen that movie every year I've been alive. Really? Yeah, I watch it all the time. What? It's a great movie.

It holds up? I think so. It's a lot of nostalgia, so I couldn't tell you. I don't know. In my mind, that movie sits with Romancing the Stone. Yeah, it's a great movie, too. Which I also haven't seen since I was a kid. There's this whole category like category of like adventure,

unlikely adventure movie. Yeah. Yeah. You know? And like, I haven't said what happened to those movies. Is that a genre that exists in the superhero movies? Now they're all superhero movies.

Now it's just constant stream of superhero movies. That is the only, that's really one of the main sources of our action movies. Now it's almost all superhero movies. That's just where we're at. It's just, that's just what we're doing is superhero movies. That's just where we're at right now. That's just what we're doing in superhero movies. I got you.

We're going to phase out of that eventually. I wonder if we'll get back to the unlikely, unexpected hero journey. Those were a lot of fun. I liked those. Those were a hoot. Jewel of the Nile.

Jewel of the Nile was a sequence to, was a sequel to Romancing the Stone. I'm sure there's a dozen of these that are unlikely. I just can't think of a family. Joe versus Paul. I was going to say, there's got to be a Tom Hanks I'm sure there's a dozen of these that are unlikely. I just can't think of a fan. Joe versus Paul Gaiman.

I was going to say, there's got to be a Tom Hanks one. Yeah. There's got to be a Tom Hanks one in there somewhere. Oh, man. Now I want to watch old movies. I really enjoy it.

You should check. I will say, I've seen Big Trouble in Little China. I have a lot of that movie memorized. Really? Yeah. I think it's hilarious. I haven't seen it in 30 years.

Oh. I should watch it. Yeah. I enjoy it. Maybe haven't seen it in 30 years. I should watch it. Yeah. I enjoy it. Maybe it might not hold up for you. I know when a lot... I watched Neverending Story and I was like, I would kill myself. That doesn't even make any sense. I'd rather ball punch myself for an hour than watch Neverending Story. It doesn't even make any sense. The ending of that movie doesn't make any

sense. And to be honest, Labyrinth for me is kind of a thumbs down too. I didn't see that till I was an adult. I saw it when I was a kid and I really liked it as a kid. And then I saw it again at the theater here, the Siskel downtown. And there's nothing like watching David Bowie in unpacked tights with kind of just a little tiny sausage. He's like, no shit. I'm not even kidding.

He's in tights that he should not be wearing without some sort of modesty piece there. Because all you're seeing is just like, you're like junk magic junk. He's doing a dance. You're just like, no, I'm not. You can map the veins. I'm not watching that.

And it's kind of a big screen. So you're just like, there's his penis. You know that shit was intentional. It's unpleasant you know they gave him a modesty piece he's like i'm david bowie michael motion behind he's doing the thing he's playing with his balls this guy this guy what i want to go back to this story though so this guy basically says that this new so now there was a big wildfire there. Oh, the fire is fucking crazy. 74 people died. Yeah, the fire is crazy.

Tourist locations gone, burnt out, everything. Crazy. And they said the fires may have been started intentionally. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Putin did that? No kidding.

He says the atheists of Syriia are the causes of this general disaster they're the their atheist draws the wrath of god well maybe it's just a bunch of atheist hipsters with like vapes that maybe that's what it is you know they're just all vaping vaping out of control like they're like this is the tornado and then i breathe and they're like and they're on the they're making like the giant cloud. Have you seen the vaping competitions? No. I saw one guy. I saw the vaping competition at Skepticon

where the guy wouldn't stop vaping at the table and making this one's the ball and he'd blow in his hand and make a little fucking snowball of vape. A tornado. He made a tornado and I was just like, that stuff stinks. Please stop doing it. They have,

they have competitive vaping. I've seen this shit on YouTube. Competitive vaping. It is, they have to run a mile first and then think. These guys couldn't run a mile. It's like those people

who have to run and then shoot. Right? The biathlon. It is the best thing ever. Some of the, some of the competitions include who can exhale

the biggest amount of shit. No kidding. Yeah, like cloud, like the most. So it's really just like... And they just like captured a bag or something? No, it's like blow it out and then the judge is like... The judge like puts a tape measure up to it?

Way to blow or whatever and then they win a prize or something. I'm so harder than you. I have giant lungs. Here's a trophy. For real? Yeah, it's fucking... Wow.

It is the craziest, dumbest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life. It's amazing. I got to look it up now. Did you find it on YouTube? Yeah, it's on YouTube. It's crazy. It's just...

It is as boring and bizarre and pointless as you think that it is. Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts. This one is fucking hard to read. This story is fucked up. This one here.

This is a supremely fucked up story. This story is from the Daily Mail. Utah man is accused of stabbing his 10-month-old son on an altar stabbing his 10-month-old son on an altar after finding a 666 devil mark on him before dumping his body in a trash bag. So I'll just go ahead

and read all the subheadings because that's basically the article. Alex Hidalgo, 37, accused of killing son on Friday while a child's mother was out. Women returned to find Hidalgo sitting on a couch and reading the Bible.

So this says sitting on a coach. Yeah, it does say sitting on a coach. I'm going to guess that's a misprint. He's got his old-timey stagecoach gear on. I'm picturing like a football coach. He's sitting on not a coach, Dave. Dave Daubenmeier.

Oh, waiting for the butt stuff to happen. I'm waiting for the butt stuff. Oh, gosh. He told her he had killed a child on a homemade altar after finding a mark on the body. Do you get a professional altar instead of a homemade altar? I don't understand. I saw that same thing and I thought like, you know,

it's the little touches. It is! You go to Ikea, you're trying to put the altar together and you can't get the fucking forging connected to the clip-in or whatever. You know, like, anybody can just go out to Target and buy a baby killing altar. It doesn't mean much, you know?

It's not a gift from the heart. You gotta make sure you go through. You're like routering all the stuff to kill the baby. You don't want it to have like a rough edge, just sanding it nice and smooth. Right. Like, I mean, it's a work of art. All those different grits.

All the blood channels. You're picking out the perfect polyurethane. Well, that's the thing. You've got to poly it. That's the blood. Then you've got to seal it because otherwise, that altar is going to stain.

Well, you could stain it first with the blood. You're staining it at least once. At least one time. At least once. You've got to go with a nice cherry stain. You know, that way it hides some of those sins. Absolutely.

Yeah. What fucking mark do you find on your son where you're like, ugh. I had the exact same question I was going to ask you. I was like, what could you possibly have found on him that would convince you to kill him? You're clearly unstable. But, you know, we talk about this all the time. Kill him. You're clearly unstable.

But, you know, we talk about this all the time. Like, you know, if religion is the thing that fills this in, then, you know, then they're going to act within the boundaries of that religion. Yeah. And that religion has all kinds of proscriptions and penalties. And rapture is scary, man. Right. Rapture is scary. You know, I wonder if this guy's thinking he did a good thing. This guy's like, I killed the Antichrist.

I'm fucking, I'm kind of the savior. Yeah. I'm fucking, I'm kind of the savior. Yeah, everybody should be. I'm kind of the savior. This baby supposedly had a mark on it that was 666 related or in some way. I wouldn't care if the baby came out of the womb and in comic sans on its head, it had 666.

I'd be like, no, man, we're not killing the baby. Whatever, just cheese grate that off. Like, are we kidding? Like, are you guys kidding? Are we kidding now?

We're a pattern-seeking creature, so we're going to see something that might not look like that. You know what I mean? I'm sure he did not have a 666 on his body. They didn't show the corpse of the baby

in this thing. It's a kid's thing. 10 months old. Like, it wouldn't just, like, appear. Yeah. Right. You know, like, you didn't bother to corpse of the baby in this. The kid's thing. 10 months old. Like it wasn't just like a peer. Yeah, right. You know, like you didn't bother to look at the baby beforehand. Right. For the first most of the year, he was like, I haven't inspected this baby yet.

I was waiting for you to leave. What's crazy is, you know, like this is your baby for 10 months. This is, I mean, admittedly, if you were to get a cat and have it for 10 months, you'd be kind of attached by then, you know, you would think you'd be attached by your, with your baby by then. I wonder if this is one of those moments though,

that like where, you know, parents snap and they like go crazy because the baby's crying and what they can't figure out how to get it to quit crying. So they just like shake it or whatever. If this guy's shaking, the baby was just stabbing it and throwing it in the dumpster. That's an aggressive shake.

It is. That is a very aggressive shake. That's more than just like, it's the middle of the night and I'm frustrated and go shit. It's like you beat an altar. You got to go, yeah. You got to go like the altar.

You knocked the TV off of the end table and you went to the drawer and you got a knife. Yeah. Unless, of course, there was just a random knife sitting around. Unless, of course,

you had built an altar just in case. Well, yeah, that's possible. Maybe you have a just-in-case altar as soon as you find out your wife is pregnant. Like, well, hang on a minute, honey. Like, I know we need

a baby monitor. Is that Rosemary's baby in there? You know, let's put it in the oven with a little Rosemary. Let's just bake that thing up. I read the story though. And this is actually a really hard story to go through. Cause he's like, like the, could you imagine being the wife and coming home and be like,

where's the baby? And he's like, I killed it. Don't tell anyone. Yeah. And then like, she finds it in a plastic bag in a closet and tries to give the kids CPR fucking stabbed and shit. So she's,

she clearly is like, like she's like attached to the baby because it's her baby. Like, like you should be to humans. Yeah. Yeah. Right. You know,

this, this does lead me to, to, to speculate like in a little more serious tone. Like I would have a hard time believing that he, that, that she went out to go to the grocery store and then like while she was gone,

he went crazy while she was gone, right? It's more likely that the man was suffering from mental illness for some time. And we just, we don't have good resources for families to turn to, to get help for other members of their family. You know, there's a problem in this country. I read an article about it a couple of years ago.

It was very upsetting. That described circumstances where a family member is having a difficult time with another family member who's mentally ill. They call help. Yeah, 911. Please show up and fucking kill these people. That was This American Life, wasn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's... So we have not figured out the mental health component and like what I, what I would imagine is probably true. And I don't know this. I recognize my speculation, right?

What I imagine though is probably more likely than not is that the mom knew this guy is mentally ill. Sure. Right. That he had been mentally ill for some time, but that there wasn't a fucking lot she could do about it. There's nothing you can do about it. Right. That he had been mentally ill for some time, but that there wasn't a fucking lot she could do about it. There's nothing you can do about it. Right. Yeah. And like it's not like the baby strapped to you 24 hours a day. And so the poor woman goes out to run an errand and the guy is fucking mentally ill.

And this is what happens. Yeah. And I have to believe genuinely that like if we had better health care services in this country, particularly better mental health care services, this kind of shit maybe doesn't happen so much. Still probably happens. Yeah. But this kind of shit happens with kind of alarming regularity. People came to me. Dan Coats came to me and some others. They said they think it's Russia. I have President Putin.

He just said it's not Russia. I will say this. I don't see any reason why it would be. This story is from the lawandcrime.com update. White House fixes omission in Trump-Putin transcript. So this is kind of an interesting and evolving constantly moment by moment sort of a thing. But bottom line is like there was there was a question at the joint press conference between Putin or with Putin and Trump, where a question was asked to Putin, like, did you want Trump to win? And did you do anything to help him win? And Putin says, yes, yes, yes. I wanted him to win. Yeah. win because he was going to normalize relationships or relations with Russia. And that transcript in that video was edited for public consumption.

Right. And it was only after they were called out on it, it looks like from this update, which happened evidently this morning, it's only after they were called out on it that that omission was reinserted into the transcript. Matt out tweeted this out. They showed the video side by side. They didn't just edit the transcript, Tom. They edited the video.

The video audio is edited as well. I want to talk a little bit about this as a video editor and not talk about it as somebody who's involved in politics. When they record these things, they're done on two tracks in two different sides of the headphones because they're translating and then they're also listening to the questions in one. So one of them is a translation. So one of them is basically one of them is in Russian and one of them is a translation. Like, so one of them's,

basically one of them is in Russian and one of them is in English. But when you put the headphones on, you hear both. And so what happened and what the Washington Post reported afterwards was, is that not only was the White House transcript bad, their transcript was bad too.

Because the way in which and I heard the video that they played because the way in which the person asks the question on like the wrong microphone, it gets cut and so when they

split the track and they got rid of the Russian, you don't hear the guy asking it because the way it was mixed was, was not correct in the thing. I totally get that, right? I get it. I get it. And I understand. And Washington post came out with an article that specifically said, look, we don't think this was malicious. We think that this was an honest mistake on their part, right? They put this video out. They thought it was, uh, they thought it They thought it was complete and it wasn't. That was a very important part of that interview. That was, in fact, if you were watching that

interview or that press conference, that was amazingly important. I mean, it was earth shatteringly important. Right. What I don't get as a video editor is how you edit this thing. You get this thing set up and it's only 40 minutes long. I edit video for my day job. I edit video and audio. I would never, ever release to my tiny audience anything that my eyes did not look at many, many times. I would have watched that video all the way through very carefully to make sure it was complete.

When you listen to that question, when it's after it's edited, it sounds weird because the beginning of the question is completely gone. All that you hear when you watch the video is him say, it's not proof. It's not, it's not proofed, right? What you have him say is he says, and, and did you do that? And did you help him do that or whatever? Like, cause it's the second part of that question. Did you help him win the election? Did you order your people to do it? That's the question you hear, but you don't hear, did you help him win the election? Did you order your people to do it? That's the question you hear. But you don't hear, did you want him to win the election? And that's the beginning of that question.

And so the question doesn't make sense. So you would know audio was missing. You would know if you approved that video. If I watched it once, I would, because maybe you're doing something else while you're doing it. But if you're releasing something to the general public, and we're not talking about shitty higher ed money that I make, we're talking about White House money here. These are people who are paid money to release things from the White House. You're also talking about an event which has orders of magnitude more importance than somebody's regular day-to-day life. Okay. So as an example, like I edit lectures, right? So I'll edit a lecture. A lecture will

come to my desk. And that lecture was filmed on say two cameras and I have a PowerPoint that I have to insert into it, right? So I'll get the lecture and then I'll have the PowerPoint. And if there's a stumble or something in there, I watch the whole fucking thing. I watch it start to finish. I'm like, oh, got to cut that, get rid of that, cut that, get rid of that. I'm editing it in a way to make sure that it flows well. But when you're taking something like this,

you're just putting out something that is basically done. It's 100% done percent you're trying to reflect a true-to-life moment yeah right without so you would just editorial content you would watch it the level of uh just the level of neglect yeah carelessness that that they would have to to just let this fall out of their thing and i'm also also, I think the Washington Post is also, I was like, appalled that you would not pay attention to that. That's it. It's not hard. You just, I mean, I'm not kidding, Tom, when I say you just put it on and watch it. That's it. Right. It seems to me that like, this is something you have to get right. And I don't mean to be conspiratorial. So if it was just a genuine mistake, I'm going to let it be a genuine mistake. Sure.

But it's a hell of a question for there to be a mistake about. It certainly is, right? It's the one main question. It's a fucking hell of a question. It's the question that everybody was talking about. It's the question of the day right now. It's the question that everybody was talking about. So that's why, to me, it's so surprising that they could put this on the desk of two different people. And they both just fucking flake.

And you're like, how the fuck did you flake? And that feels fucking unlikely. It feels unlikely. I don't think it, I don't feel like it was, after watching it and hearing their explanation, I was like, yeah, I totally see how that's possible. I totally see how that could slip through the cracks. But that means

that you neglected it. That means you didn't do a good job. It means you didn't bother to pay attention. Like maybe we ought to be a little concerned about the quality of the fucking work. If this is if this is the reality that's being represented to the American public. He just comes back from the same thing where where he's in a closed door meeting, where he doesn't stand up to him, where it looks like he's working with him. You would think. Where he would wouldn't.

Right. You would where he thinks you would think that he would look, or at least somebody on that staff would look at the people doing this and be like, don't fuck this up. Yeah. This is another brick. Isn't every time that you are doing work that is part of a fucking historic

summit between two nation leaders, like, that doesn't get someone's attention. There's no second set of eyes on that. Yeah, and also, that's the other thing, too, is like, I work alone, but I would imagine there would be a whole team of people that you would pass. I don't know how this works. I just went and watched The Incredibles 2. Great movie.

Loved it. How many people do you think watched that movie? Sure. Before I watched that movie. Of course. Right? Yeah. It's not an important movie. Yeah. It's about fake superheroes that fight fake supervillains. Right. It's not an important movie. Yeah. It's about fake superheroes that fight fake supervillains. Right. It's unimportant. This is important.

Like if we are so lazy about getting this right, we have no hope of making good decisions. Because we we're not going to be fed the right information. We're going to be fed half or less. It also this sort of shit erodes the public's

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All right, so this story's from The Guardian. The latest Trump scandal would have destroyed any other president. I guess, you know, the reason I wanted to talk about this, Cecil, is like, so let me preface it with what the story is about. The story is about the audio. So Michael Cohen, who is Trump's former attorney, who at one point said he would take a bullet for the president.

And I guess what he meant by that is... What he meant was one of those airsoft bullets. Yeah, right? I'll take a soft paintball. Exactly. Maybe. I won't really. Paintball's too big.

We're talking airsoft here. Tops. Yeah. Nerf dart. Speaking of airsoft, President Trump having sex with somebody. So it turns out he'll take a bullet as long as nobody asks him to take a bullet because he's flipping so hard on the president right now.

Oh, yeah. And the audio was released. I guess he taped certain conversations with Trump and some of the audio from those conversations has been released. Yeah. Have you heard it? I've not. No. Did you listen to it?

Yeah, I listened to it. Oh, okay. What were your impressions? I read transcripts of things. So it's not salacious, right? What you're getting is a very matter-of-fact conversation between two people

that is a little bit difficult to hear because they're talking over each other. Yeah, it is muddy. That's what they said on the... Cohen's lawyer is saying that this audio is saying one thing. Giuliani's saying it's saying the other. Right.

Cohen's lawyer is saying it's saying... Cohen's lawyer is saying that the audio tells us a story about how Trump wanted to pay cash and Cohen told him, no, what we'll do instead is we're going to pay for it through a different means, like create a company or something and then pay him. And Giuliani is saying that Trump is actually saying, he's saying, don't pay cash. And then Cohen is disagreeing, saying they should. Oh, I see. And then the tape shuts off relatively quickly right thereafter.

I think when you hear it, it's hard to understand as a layperson, right? You're kind of listening to two people talk about. I didn't think the transcripts were terribly enlightening. They're not enlightening and they're not damning. And that's the thing is that I think a lot of people want to hear is him being like, yeah, I fucked that broad so is there any way we can fucking pay that bitch, huh?

What do you say, huh? Like, they expect it to be like Goodfellas, where somebody is clearly saying something that you... Let me outline the scope and nature of my crimes. Exactly. I will give you a story, which if you wrote down would be deeply problematic for me.

Yeah. Right. This guy is saying that that's not going to be like that at all. And so what, what I think the American public, when we hear this, it kind of washes over us. We're like,

yeah, I don't, I don't know that I get it or I don't know. And there's going to be a lot of people that, that when they hear this, they don't think much of it over us. We're like, yeah, I don't know that I get it or I don't know. And there's going to be a lot of people that when they hear this, they don't think much of it. And I think that actually this article is wrong. It would be hard, I think, to get somebody to lose their job over this because I don't feel like it's terribly damning. It's terribly damning. It's terribly damning.

It's terribly damning. It's funny because the reason that I grabbed this article is because I want to be very clear. Like, I have made no secret that I am no fan of Trump. But this should not be the thing that sinks him. Right? Yeah. I don't give a shit if he bought a model story. Like, if he, like.

Do you not care that he tried to subvert it before his election? Well, I think the timing of the payout makes all the difference in the world, right? So this isn't relative to the Stormy Daniels affair. This is relevant, I guess. This is a different person. To a different person, a Playboy model, I guess, that he supposedly slept with or what have you. It sounded like he had a lengthy affair with her. Right. Yeah.

I just want to be really clear. Like, I don't think anybody's personal fucking sexual adventures or misadventures i don't care either should ever be the thing no that knocks them off the off the what what should matter though is transparency and like i think i agree with you in the sense that like if there was a deliberate attempt throughout the election cycle to leverage money in order to reduce transparency to sway an election. Sure. Right? That's a problem.

But it's not a problem because of the fact that he fucked somebody or didn't fuck somebody. No, yeah, yeah, no. Who cares? It's a problem because what he's trying to do is hide it from his moral police that follow him around, and he doesn't want them to know what happened. Exactly. That's the problem. It's unethical to pay someone and to

to get it hidden i don't here's the thing man he was he was right he could have shot somebody he could have shot somebody in the street and they wouldn't care they were voting for this guy no matter what they didn't care they just wanted the non-black non-woman one they didn't care about any of the rest exactly they don't care what the fuck he is and he could have been fucking he could have been a guy who complete who talked in clicks and whistles and never said a single thing of sense right the entire time it wouldn't matter yeah they just wanted the package they wanted the thing that didn't threaten them that's what they wanted and they voted for yep that's it this is this is not this Nobody voted for... I mean, I don't say nobody, but like so many

people voted against Hillary. Right? Which is why so much of the conversation about Trump ends up becoming about Hillary. Even Trump's conversation about Trump. He didn't vote for himself. He voted against Hillary. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it's kind of amazing. Trump's like voted against Hillary. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of amazing. So like, Trump's like a Bernie bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like, when like,

when you read this article and it's like, this would have sunk any other president, what we have to recognize is that Trump is not like any other president. He's definitively a mutant.

This is a new thing. He's a mutant. And it's not, we need to take the idea that, and I think like at this point, if we haven't fucking gotten there, we're not paying attention. We need to take the idea that this is anything like the politics of yore. Sure. And set that to the side. And we just say like, look, no one's going to care about this.

No, you and I care about this in the sense that we recognize that he leveraged money to get elected to reduce the transparency. No one's going to give a shit. This will never be the thing. They could come out with tapes. They could come out with a fucking sex tape of him fucking these people. No one cares.

Before he got elected, they came out with a tape of him being unbelievably misogynistic. Nobody cared. Talking about sexual harassment. Right. On tape, on camera. Yeah.

And he didn't... In the most piggish terms. He never once had any... That wasn't even a speed bump. Yeah. I thought for sure. I was like, when I heard that tape, when I heard that tape, I was like, oh no. I was like, how do you recover from that?

And he had a little statement where he was like, it was locker room talk. That's it. And that was the end of it. That didn't, he didn't recover from it. He was never damaged, never damaged by it. Right. That's then that was where I was mistaken in the sense that I thought it damaged him, but it never did.

No. It never even bounced right off his hull. He lost the first debate. It didn't damage him. Yeah. It's the first debate. He but it never did. No. It never even bounced right off his hull. He lost the first debate. It didn't damage him. Yeah. It's the first debate. He was a buffoon. Yeah.

It didn't matter. It didn't matter. The thing is like, he is just the angry, belligerent, racist uncle. Yeah. That the angry belligerents want to have in office right now. It's not the sex at all. I don't care about the sex. I literally don't.

Like, it doesn't matter to me at all. It doesn't matter to me if he even had a sex tape come out. If he had a sex, like literally had a sex tape where there was a video, I would, God, I would never watch it. But if there was a sex tape

of him having sex, I would do whatever I could to make sure that that never crossed my eyes. I would go as far as pulling them out of my head. I was going to say, I would rather go permanently blind. I'd be like, no, I'm

good. I'd rather pour boiling bleach into my eyes. I'll just remember what it was like to look at stuff. But the thing is, is if the sex tape came out, I still wouldn't care. Because the sex doesn't matter. It's the cover-up. I just don't care. It's the financial cover-up. It's just the cover-up. And to be honest, like you said,

I would much rather see him I would much rather see him I would much rather see him attacked for all the shit he's doing. Because I feel like that's the stuff that matters. This doesn't matter. Yeah, well, I guess I feel

like there's a part of me that with a president so egregiously awful, there is a part of me that feels utilitarian. Like, whatever it takes to get him out. Yeah. You know? Sure. Whatever it takes.

But I feel like I also need to ride a slightly higher ground than that. And be like, well, we need to get people out for the right reasons because the next guy that comes out, maybe that's my guy. Yeah. Maybe that's somebody that I, you know, has progressive ideals that I genuinely agree with. And like, I think what's good for the goose is what's good for the gander. So you don't want to burn your, your enemy's house down and have yours fall down around you too. You know, I, I, you know, I, I look back at sexual scandals that have, that have rocked the democratic side. And I think about Anthony Weiner as the main one that I think about. And I think about how,

where his political career is now. Look at Al Franken. Yeah. Al Franken took a stupid, ill-advised photo. Yeah, inappropriate photo with somebody. And like that ruined his career. And you can argue about whether that was right or wrong. And I don't even want to go down that road.

Yeah. But he got Trump, who says the lady can grab him by the pussies when you're famous. And like, he's still employed! I feel like we're living in a mad world when this happens. You're definitely living in a double standard.

You're definitely living in a double standard where, you know... But is there a standard for Trump? I don't know if there is for Trump? That's the thing. Is there any standard? But I will say like, like, you know, we didn't, they didn't vote Roy Moore in office. You know what I mean? Like Roy Moore, they saw what happened to him. He lost the election. That doesn't mean that he still

didn't run under the Republican party. I know. And get the backing of the president. Exactly. Right. Like that's the crazy thing. It's like, I know that there's been a couple of others though that have had to step down because of this. Like there's been a couple of Republicans that have had to step down because of inappropriate behavior. I'm not. That's the crazy thing. It's like I know that there's been a couple of others, though, that have had to step down because of this. There's been a couple of Republicans that have had to step down because of it. I'm not sure it's a Republican Democrat issue. I think it's like when there's

a double standards, it's a standard for Trump. Yeah. Who is his own juggernaut of a thing? Doesn't have any other. Yeah. And it's like it's like it's like there is no standard. And it's when you talk to supporters, they're just like, oh, that stuff doesn't matter. Now, the now the concern obviously is if this isn't bottled up in san francisco this kind of nonsense then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain

and you're going to be going to your burger king in des moines iowa and you're going to have a rainbow colored wrapper for your whopper it's a right Right Wing Watch. Rick Wiles, we are 72 hours from a coup during which Trump will be decapitated on the White House lawn. This story came out July 18th. July 18th. More than 72 hours ago. And I know that's not what he's really saying. I know. That's true.

It's only eight days old at this point. All right. So here we go. This is Rick Wilds. We showed you CIA agent homosexual Anderson Cooper on CNN. Wait, he's a CIA

agent? He looks more like a Bond villain than he does a CIA agent. I can see him as an archer style. White hair. I don't know, man. I'd see him as more like the boss, White hair. I don't know, man. I'd see him as more like the boss, though. Look, wouldn't he be the guy who you come into his office and he's like, you're probably wondering why I called you here.

Damn it, Agent Cooper. Over on the other communist news channel, MSNBC, they have another homosexual rachel maddow you see america you've been homosexualized what because i heard rachel maddow talk about something trump said like i don't get it it's true though rachel maddow eats pussy i like eating pussy like i've been it's like we're like whenever you hear anybody uh anybody um talk is gay, you suddenly become gay? No, that's how that works. Yeah, like everybody who's ever heard a Liberace song is gay.

If they're on TV, that makes you gay. It homosexualizes you. Oh, okay. That's why everybody's a homosexual. You've been Judaized. Okay, well, that's fair too. Where's my 30 pieces of silver? I want my silver, God damn it.

Here's the thing, man. If you guys own the media, you Jews out there, if you're listening, you own the media. Oh, I thought he was talking about Judas. Oh, I thought he was talking about Jews. Oh, I don't know. Is he? Did I misread that? Maybe I thought, I don't know.

Let's see. I'm going to tell you the way it is. Okay. Your minds have been captured. You're no longer a Christian nation. Even the Christians don't think like Christians anymore. Except for me. I do a real good job of it.

Oh, yeah. I'm Rick Wiles. Yeah. I'm immune. Christian TM afterwards. Right, yeah. Isn't that what he's saying? Like, I can see what you can't.

I have magic discernment powers because I'm just better than you. Like, there's like an elitism. These guys are like the most like anti-elitism, anti-Ivory Tower guy. But their Ivory Tower is just an anti-intellectual, faith-based Ivory Tower.

I'm more... It's made of popsicle sticks. I'm up on the fucking Babel. Can I stand on this thing? Is it safe up here? Build the pylons out of toothpicks Should this ladder be missing all its rungs? You've been Judaized

You've been homosexualized You've been Babylonianized Okay wait How did that happen? What is Babylonianized? I didn't even notice any of these things. This is amazing. They're so good at this.

And yet we still elected Trump. Your minds have been tainted. You don't even think like a Christian anymore. I didn't start. I mean, I did, and then I got better. I never even gave it much of a whirl, to be honest with you. And so Rachel Maddow, she was spewing out last night, calls for revolution. That's exactly right.

No, she wasn't. No? No. Rachel Maddow, all she ever does is say, she'll say something like, the time is coming. But what that means is that she's hoping they'll get impeached. Rachel Maddow doesn't have a fucking shiny pitchfork. She's not marching. She's not doing any of that

work. Do you think that that's what they interpret as revolution? Goodness gracious, would you have to stretch out what someone's saying to say revolution? I mean, these are the same people, though, Tom, that thought that when protesters were on the street in Chicago

protesting Trump, that that was anti-American, that this is America's falling apart at its seams. Yeah, and so that's what I mean, right? They can't differentiate between civil unrest and all-out revolution. Well, they can when it's

their guy. Yeah. Well, yeah, because they didn't say fuck all when it was the fucking Tea Party all's to remove the president of the united states she was telling the left take a deep breath we're at that moment it's coming we're at that moment we're almost there we're gonna remove him from the white house yeah that's that's what that's through a legal process process where you ask Congress to do it. Through a process enshrined in the Constitution. Like, what's the big deal?

That's not a revolution. And the idea that you would be so appalled by that, like, they were fine with it. Oh, yeah. Like, there were calls for Obama's impeachment. There were calls for impeachment.

They were fine with it when it was fucking Clinton. Right. The fuck, man? Friends, I think we're about 72 hours possibly 72 hours

from a coup. A coup? Who's gonna what general is gonna try to take over? This is like, who? I'm sorry. Can you go to truesnews.com? Do they sell buckets?

Do they sell apocalypse wear? Because this kind of bullshit, liar, fear-mongering always has a profit angle. Look, be prepared that you're going to turn on television and see helicopters hovering over the roof of the white house why is president trump a

flight risk like why would there be helicopter i have no idea it's like president trump's like trying to run across the lawn and it gets like seven steps why do you need helicopters you need a big two-bladed ones for that guy. Like, are you kidding me? Exactly. They need the two-bladed ones. The wubba-dubbas. Wub-dub-dub-dub. Like, lowering the shit in there. Like, picking him up like an old air conditioner from a high-rise. Like an elephant with a cargo net, you know?

Like, flying him around. Trump's belly's flying. He's looking down all puzzled. What's happening to me? Arms and legs straight out as he goes. I should not be flying like this. I love, too, the idea that this guy is so old and fucking out of touch that he's like,

you're going to turn on the TV. That's where America gets news. We're all 70. Nobody watches TV anymore. Honey, turn on the news. Could you get to news on your TV? No. All I have is the news on Hulu or to news on your TV? No. All I have is the news on Hulu or Netflix.

That's all I have. That's all you have, so no. I couldn't turn the news on in my house. It's not where I get my news. I'm not an asshole. With men clad in black rappelling down ropes, entering into the White House. Who's controlling them?

And then what are they doing when they get in? Are they like a fucking surprise party for Trump? We brought you a cake. We know that you eat two slices for every one that we get. We're only commandos. Wait, who's controlling them? It's Taylor, the birthday cake. Happy birthday, Mr.

Mr. Be prepared for a shootout in the White House. As Secret Service agents shoot commandos coming in to arrest President Trump. That's how close we are to revolution. Commandos don't arrest people.

They command people. This is my commando badge. Bill, I'm going to have to ask you to leave your commando badge and commando gun for being suspended. Be prepared for a mob, a leftist mob, to tear down the gates,

the fence of the White House. They all get shot immediately. Literally never will happen. They would get fucking machine gunned before that. There's like fucking machine gun turrets that will pop up

out of the ground. I have a strong suspicion the entire White House lawn is, with the press of a button, one giant landmine. It's like a burp gun on top of the thing, just like burp, burp landmine. It's like a burp gun on top of it. Just like burp, burp, burp.

Like turning people into smears. Like that's what's going to happen. Are you kidding me? You couldn't even get close to it. As if to suggest that the only thing between like the public and the president is a fence. It's a tiny fence. It's a fence. Tiny wrought iron fence.

Release the hounds. Like really? Oh my God. They breached iron fence. Release the hounds. Like, really? Oh my God, they breached the fence! We should have put on, I don't know, another... We need to get Trump out of here! Get a commando in here!

And go into the White House and drag him out with his family and decapitate them on the lawn of the White House. Okay. What is it, Lord of the Flies? No, it's fucking Game of Thrones. It's the end of Natural Born Killers.

No way. I'm getting hats. A port ski? No, no, this is major. They've already burned through the NCIS public firewall. What is that, a video game? No, Tony, you were getting hats. It's Right-wing watch.

Info Wars. Deep state Trump assassins will use the internet kill switch in a cover-up. This is amazing. So evidently a couple of places were offline briefly because Google cloud service outage. And there was some stuff that basically went down. But I want to say, like, they were up in arms because a couple of right-wing sites, including the Drudge Report, were down. Also down was, like, Pokemon Go and Spotify. Yeah, and Snapchat.

Right. So it's not like this was, like, a targeted approach to only right-wing sites. It's the people who were using Google Cloud Service. Right? So, like, this has happened to Reddit in the past when they were on Amazon. Like their shit would just go down. Like it would just go so like sometimes that

happens. I showed it in post for two weeks to Google Play Music. Yeah. It's a Google conspiracy. Oh, this guy's got a couple in him too. So the internet kill switch test that they ran today is not to see if they can shut down the internet. They really couldn't care less. They're fine with the internet kill switch test that they ran today is not to see if they can shut down the internet they really couldn't care less they're fine with the internet operating they can

manipulate it most people don't give a damn anyway and most people just go on the internet to look at porn i think there's a little projecting going on there it's not all i look at after seven minutes if i'm still on the internet, I'm not looking at porn anymore. Seven minutes. It's like your third time. I'm not understanding. Seven minutes, I'm already wrong. God.

But if they can assassinate a president, and then in the immediate aftermath, say for three hours, shut down the internet shut down seos shut down info wars shut down breitbart they realized after that three hours half the people that would have been searching that aren't even going to look for it anymore we're just like fish what are we just like fucking swimming our little okay we're like huh something happened

today i forgot I completely forgot. Hey, Cecil. Yeah. Hey, the president was assassinated, but then the internet went down. I watched the Lord of the Rings movie and now I don't care anymore.

Who do you think is going to win the world series? I just do. We have a three hour memory for an assassination. You wouldn't be like, Oh, wait a minute. Who did it? Yeah.

I don't immediately know. I don't care anymore. It's like, you wouldn't look at somebody and be like be like you know i can't get on the internet right now write this on the fridge you know what so i don't forget it alexa mental you would tattoo it on your arm so when you woke up be like check who murdered trump you know what i mean like it would be ridiculous alexa add google who murdered Trump to to-do list. I'm sorry. I'm down right now. The narrative has been controlled at that point.

And so, boom. Now they control the narrative. They're mocking WordPress. Well, how do you control the narrative? What do you say? Like, oh, guys, I know your internet went down for three hours. That didn't happen? I think you just paused briefly the narrative and also created an

additional story to talk about. Now you need another explanation. Did the narrative just get like more complex and harder to control? Didn't the narrative just get more malicious and evil? If you turn the internet back on ever, assuming that there's a switch to turn off the internet,

which by the way, that's not how the internet works. By the way, the internet, I don't think, and now look, I'm willing to be corrected on this, but the internet does not work like that. I am not an expert on computadores. I'm not. I'm not.

But I am pretty sure that if someone shut down one site or several series of sites, even if they shut down Google, the internet would not cease to exist. The internet would still continue to be a place that you could go. Because it's not like you would have to shut down every computer that has a server on the internet.

Like all the servers that are connected to the internet would have to be shut down. You could still get to fucking timecube.com or whatever. Right. Because that guy runs it from his basement. You can still get to serious inquiries only. He runs his own server. He runs his own server. Right. And he'll talk about this.

He'd be fine. Right. He's not an armature, people. Gets the word out first. You can't access Infowars. You can't access anything. So, you know, it's to to the average of to the average american the average individual that doesn't understand where we're at right now in human history and how deep the corruption of humans really is this is going to sound insane look i

know how stupid you people are i know you people people are really, really dumb. And you're going to think I'm crazy. And it's not because I'm crazy. It's because you're dumb. If you don't, I love, I love the backhanded, if you don't believe me, you're a fucking idiot. You're an idiot. You're a sheeple. Yeah.

Yeah. That's exactly it, right? Yeah. It's going to sound so far out there that, you know, whatever, we're conspiracy theorists, we're this, we're that, the other thing. But let me tell you. No, you just don't understand how the internet works.

What I think is you don't understand how the internet technologically operates. And this is the cause of many, many conspiracy theories, right? It's a lack of knowledge. It's a lack of understanding. Right. And when you don't understand something, you become afraid of it. Yeah. Right.

So he's afraid of something that happened today. Instead of looking for the right answer, instead of going out there and being like, what's the facts? What happened? He's saying, no, this was deliberate. They tried to shut it down. So instead of paying attention or taking a look at something, reading multiple reports that say this cloud service went down. Instead, he jumps to any conclusion he can to try to make sure he can fulfill that pattern that he has, that the world, like the cynical view of the world that he has.

Right. He's going to do that every time. When he's decided, he's decided, the internet sites that he wants to go to are unavailable. And so he starts weaving a tale. Right. About that. Sure.

Without any corroborating evidence to back up that tale. He should have checked his Snapchat. Right. Then he would know that that's down too. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And the Spotify, that's down too.

But, you know, like a guy like this would be like, yeah, well, you know, what they're doing is they're taking down a number of sites in order to make it look random. You know how all this works, right? Because he's going to try to explain the thing that he wants to explain and the other stuff's just collateral. Because the story has been decided upon. Absolutely. And the details simply backfill the larger story. Yeah, exactly.

He's come to his conclusion. Now, how do I make it so? Right. All you have to do is watch C-SPAN for a week and you will see how real this shit is. If you watched Chuck Schumer talk out of two sides of his mouth, if you watched Congressman Raskin talk out of two sides of his mouth in real time, you realize how real this is. It's crazy because they just hold it like this and then they talk out of both sides.

I just, I like how well they use that puppet. Like, they're so good at it, you know? Like, it just, ah. I like the jalapeno on the stick. That's the one I love. You gotta love prop com. So I, I, I mean, my conspiracy theory, since everyone has a conspiracy theory, Russia hacks every election. Now my conspiracy theory is they tested the internet kill switch today so they can find out how long they can keep it down without people,

bitch, without people bitching about whatever it is. People would bitch within a second. My internet goes down at 2.30 in the morning for service. I can't keep watching. It's always sunny in Philadelphia and I am complaining. You know, it's funny because look at what happens when Reddit goes down. Look at how many people get pissed off when Reddit goes down. People complain when anything happens. That is the fucking America. It's more than baseball. The American pastime is bitching

when our first world fucking luxuries are taken away. It's such bullshit. It's such a lie. I know. They're just like, people aren't bitching about it.

No, motherfucker, you know how many fucking, how many messages each one of those services got because they were fucking down? When Google Play didn't post our little podcast, I sent them multiple emails. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Yeah. The internet fucking down. When Google Play didn't post our little podcast, I sent them multiple emails.

Yeah. Are you kidding me? Yeah. The internet goes down. Let's see if anyone... We've replaced their regular internet with nothing at all. Yeah.

Let's see if they notice. With these two monkeys banging rocks together. The biggest story that people would bitch about, the biggest story that would ever get researched in internet history, bigger than Janet Jackson's tit, be donald trump gets assassinated i love like the story that everyone's gonna search for on the internet you just shut the internet down and the story you're searching for is a super bowl 20 years ago somebody accidentally showed a boobie with a fucking

a pasty on it and that's it r. Rufio, come in here real quick. Rufio? Is his name John Rufio? No, I was thinking of Rufio from Hook. I was thinking... Rufio! Rufio! Rufio! I was thinking of Rufio from Parks and Recreation. Different Rufio. Do you know who I'm talking about?

The guy who did the bad raps? He's the guy whose girlfriends are always sleepy. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about? The guy who did the bad raps? The rap always ended on the wrong line? He's the guy whose girlfriends are always sleepy. Yeah. You want answers? I think I'm entitled to them. You want answers! I want the truth!

You can't handle the truth! This story is from Right Wing Watch. This is Jim Baker. A packet of my coffee will get you a new car when the end times come. I do want to say, I selected this story because if shit does go down and my coffee supply is threatened, you can have my car. Could you imagine

what it's going to be like next week when the world ends? Yeah. You know, you watch The Walking Dead and none of those people look like they have a caffeine headache. I know I would have a caffeine headache in a second.

I'd be like, no, don't ever talk to me. If there's a zombie, I would kill every zombie around me just because they made a little too much noise. Like you're rustling too loud outside. If I am unable to receive my coffee, I can tolerate a lot of shit cecil i can put up with a lot of a lot of depredation yeah yeah but if if shit goes down and i run out of starbucks via packets before we get the fucking machines of import, back up and running. I will single-handedly thunderdome this nation to the fucking ground.

How bitchy we first world fuckers are going to be. Everybody else in the world is just like, yeah, this is Tuesday. This is how it works. This is how it works here. In Rio, people are like, yeah, fewer people died today.

Welcome to my world. Now we won't have to import your garbage to sort through. Oh? Yeah. Fewer people died today. Welcome to my world. Now we won't have to import your garbage to sort through. Oh, man. God has spoken to us to prepare for what's coming. I believe Donald Trump was given by God to give us a respite. Mm-hmm. And give us... This is a respite?

He's the respite. He's the respite. He's the respite. It's going to get worse. It's going to get worse. From here? Let me tell you something. It's going to get worse before it gets better. Who are we hiring after this?

I don't know. Like, seriously, what's next? A three-legged dog? Someone comes in and they're just like, they're flipping through their vetting papers and they're like, it says here you had seven people killed. Yeah.

Okay, that's cool. Richard Speck for president. No, it's fine. I mean, I'm just impressed. I'm not talking, I'm not saying it disqualifies you in any way. No, we're just cool. It's fine, yeah. Can you turn me on to your guy? A time

of prosperity. But do you think the evil Antichrist spirit is sitting back? No. They're fighting tooth and toenail. Tooth and toenail? What? Why are they using their toenails? I love the person who has sharpened their own toenails.

You're just like, you're snuggling with a demon. You're like, oh, can you cut your toenails? Fuck's like this person who has sharpened their own toenails you're just like you're snuggling with a demon you're like oh can you cut your toenails oh jesus move your fucking feet if you're not gonna take care of those things christ they got little claws on there you know what turn on the big spoon fine you're you're significant others just hanging from the rafters upside down from their toenails. It's like one of those nasty curvy ones. You're like when the people have the curvy fingers

and the super long fingernails and then they have the curvy toenails. As they walk, they make a clicking sound. It's against the hardwood. Tickety-tack, tickety-tack. You're like a fucking,

you're like a centaur. What is the dog out? What's going on? They're fighting the fucking you're like a centaur. Right. What is the dog out? What's going on? They're fighting the president. Yeah, they want to kill him. Yes. And believe me, if they get one open shot, someone will kill our president. That's how it's always presidents work. That's why every president has security.

That's why they ride around in a pop box. Right. Matter of fact, right. Are you kidding me? Matter of fact, in the news yesterday, they had to go and find somebody in Pennsylvania that has made threats to the president of the United States to kill him. Yes. This is real. And when you talk about the prophet.

That happens all the time. People are crazy. There's 320 million people. A number of them are crazy. People talk about killing the president all the time. We covered a story about a guy who stabbed a baby today. Are you kidding me? The prophets being here on this stage,

this is the number one thing that keeps saying, Jim, Lori, audience, we are living in the most prophetic time in history. What does that mean? The most prophetic time in history? Other times had less prophetic. Prophetic. So this is more of the prophetic.

I have the armature-precise and the prophesies. So it can be hard for lay people to understand, but there's a prophetic continuum, you see. Oh, God. And we're at the maximal edge of prophetic-osity or prophet-oc- We're going to become a prophetocracy? Is that-

I don't know what that means either! Doesn't mean anything! The most prophetic time in history. There were other times they were less prophetic. I guess is what I'm saying. And any other time, if that's the case, we're getting the storehouse ready

one bucket at a time. You bet you are, baby. In that you are buying that. We want you to buy buckets. We're getting the storehouse ready. What we'll do, now hear us out, is we will trade you buckets

for money. Yeah. And you can have the soon to be invaluable buckets and we'll just have that pesky old that money that money nobody's gonna need in a couple weeks because you know what we recognize that the more valuable item isn't the money, which we would like, by the way, in exchange for these. The Lord, the Lord has given us a respite.

And so as soon as that respite is up, right. Which could be, it could be as few as, you know, a couple of years from now, Tom, I mean, they,

we could vote them out then. And that respite will go away. No more. We're just, that means that there go the good times, buddy. And times times. So stock up on coffee. I've never looked forward to something more like i said man i'm high-fiving every zombie let's do this all you preppers that don't have coffee this is your

moment to start getting your coffee ready start stocking up on coffee bartering in the apocalypse i like to start my morning with a little pick-me-up it's the apocalypse like i love the idea that like the it's the fucking biblical apocalypse and we're like well stock up on your first world luxuries you wouldn't want to be you wouldn't want to be inconvenienced while there's fucking death in the streets make sure to get two or three kindles because one battery may run out. You know what? You might not be able to charge it for a long time during the rise of the four horsemen.

Let me get you a gasless generator or whatever. Fuel is generated. Your neighbor has been hung from a lamppost by his own intestines. And you're like, well, I like cream in my coffee. And you're like, well, I like cream in my coffee. I like how much more fucking spoiled, privileged, shitty, first world ass motherfucker. They should be a bucket of life straws and antibiotics. Exactly.

Life straws, antibiotics, and then just pure calorie block. What's like a little tiny sugar cubes. Right. Just be a sugar. It's just factory. It's a lard infused sugar. That's all it should be. It's just a lard-infused sugar cube. That's all it should be. It's just the maximum amount. That's it.

We're all eating the fucking gels that marathon runners squirt into their mouths. That's all any of us should have. Green is going to be the number one thing. What do you think that would be worth if the sun don't shine? What would it be worth? Well, it's nothing. Why are you going to heat it up? There's no sun. the sun don't shine what would it be worth with the well it's nothing why are you

gonna heat it up yeah there's no sun doesn't shine let me tell you something my eyes aren't gonna shine for very long plus like why am i getting up in the morning when i need my coffee if the sun isn't i never wake up i mean like it's nighttime i'm like i'm like one of those like dumb birds that you can't fucking like Nobody put a sheet over the cage! And I'm just like, no, son! Go back to sleep. I'm going to hibernate my way through the apocalypse. Yeah, exactly.

Like you go to sleep in 4.5 billion years later. Right? Why you? Oh, just in time for the heat death of the universe. This power goes out and there's no trucks running and the EMP bomb or whatever they're talking about for these last day events.

You're talking about. Yeah, the EMP bomb. That you're talking about. Well, my coffee will be still fine because there's no electronics in it, hopefully. We're going to rub a couple of sticks together underneath this bucket. I don't know what.

Coffee? Where am I going to get my lobster Thermidor? What the fucking shit is this? Hold on. I want to heat up my escargot. Oh, you know what?

I only like that one. Hold on. I have some in a bucket. Let me get my man servants over here. You know, I only like that soft nugget ice like you get at Sonic. Can you bring me an iced coffee? Tom wants more lobster

Thermidor, and I'll have another dish of carpaccio. He comes by, it's like, you spilled, this is a cold brood. Fuck you. Have him killed. It's the apocalypse. Just send him outside.

He'll die of exposure. Oh, God. Amazing. There should be a show like that. Like the first world apocalypse. Oh, where it's just like, someone is just constantly complaining.

Like, it's like Paris Hilton. They're tapping at their, their, their, their iPhone. Like, God damn, no more internet.

Just try to take like the best Instagram photo, like filters and shit on it. Like, what do you think? Red filter guys. I got to edit this video down before I post it. Hang on a second. That's, that's the death of your mother. I, well, I look fat edit this video down before I post it. Hang on a second. That's the death of

your mother. Well, I look fat, okay? It's not a flattering angle, and my dress is rumpled. This two-gallon bucket of packs of coffee, you could trade them for whatsoever you want.

That's it. You could probably... Women. How much for the little girl? Why, in this scenario, am I now willing to give up the coffee? I know, right? Like, I spent all this... The coffee is now hard-earned money on it.

Well, plus, like, he has... He has... It's now a currency. He has informed me that this coffee is of insane value. What you're doing, though, is you're trading your useless currency in for better currency. But like his barter system is like, I have a coffee and then in a minute I'm going to get a car for it. Right.

Okay. So now I have a car, but now I'm out coffee. Yeah. But coffee and a car are equal. So now don't I just want to trade back for the coffee? Because that's really what I wanted to start with. Why? Who wants the coffee this bad?

I'm confused about this whole system. This whole system doesn't make sense. Because now the other guy had a car, but now he's got a box of coffee. But now that box of coffee is worth a car. Right? So now, is he going to... You know what I mean? He's just...

What the fuck? Why? This is why we invented money. So we don't have to do this. So we have an arbitrary scale. We get a new car for one packet of coffee. Yeah, but then the EMP bomb went off. So your car's useless.

That's the other thing, right? Like, I'll give you a packet of coffee for that car. Yeah, the car is fucking... You got to hitch it to a donkey to make it go. Or at this point, you're just like, yeah, well, you can drive it, but there's nothing anywhere because it's the end. So we want to thank our patrons, Joseph, Chris, Michelle, the Fallacious Trump Podcast, Dave, Trent, Eric, Lisa, Fausto, the infamous Molly Cottle, Rachel, Sarah, Marie, Jody, Grant, Anaximander, maybe, Jason, FoxholeAtheist, Nicholas, Sally, Hunter, Jody, Jim, Oshiki, Oshiki, Oshiki, Ratchel. That's Ratchel. That's Ratchel, right? I'm not wrong.

Mr. Richard, Casey, Kay, Angus, Karen, Vance S., John, William, Joel, Katie, another Lego welder, Barbara and Andrew. Thanks so much for your generous donations. Thank you very much. You guys are the reason Glory Hole Studios exists. So we want to thank you guys for all your generous donations. Got a few emails we want to go through. The first is an image from Aaron, and it's a great image of Trump as Putin was leading him into the press conference. I saw another one.

And this might, I don't know if you got this far in the books for game of Thrones or, and if you saw, I don't know how far you saw on the series. I only watched the first season. So maybe you got this far. I don't know, but there's a,

a guy named reek later on. Yeah. I read, I read about. So, so there's a, there's a, there's an image where it says,

Putin says, what's your name? And Putin says, my name is Reek. We got another image. Fuck you. This one is from Casey. No. And it's eggnog rainbow popsicles. Casey, from the bottom of my heart.

Why is it orange, though? Fuck you, Why is it orange, though? Fuck you. Why is it orange, though? To warn you away from it. I guess so. Like, it's like deer hunter orange. This is threat level orange. And all orange things are bad now.

We know that. Including presidents. So we got a message. This is from Eric. And Eric sent this in. And Eric basically does in and Eric basically does freelance gigs in the Denver area

as a pianist at Christian Science Church. And they were able to play the Glory Hole song. So I want to play. This is great. This is a very slow version. You got to think about

who's that guy on the other side of the Glory Hole. Think about it in piano version. You can hear it if you listen to it. Oh, my God. Play this at church. I can't believe this happened because of us.

Glory be to God on high. That's amazing. Thanks, high. That's amazing. Thanks, Eric. That's evil. That's really funny. Actually, to be honest, that is a very beautiful rendition of who's that guy.

It's certainly prettier than the original. It certainly is. We got a message about the Walgreens pharmacy from Cassie, Tom. Yeah, Cassie said that she works in the pharmacy field.

And when you briefly ask about the story, you're incorrect. There's a law which says a pharmacist may turn someone away for any reason, ethical or professional. So, okay, that is evidently the truth, and I don't doubt that.

I just think that that's fucked up. That's a weird rule. As a pharmacist, you may be protected by the law, but I don't think that you're ethically protected from your responsibility to do your fucking job at work. Yeah. That's it. I totally agree. You don't have some special fucking snowflake job. I had the exact same feeling when that lady was turning people away for,

um, that Kim Davis, you know, she had an ethical thing that she wanted to do, you know, and she thought that was ethical. I thought it was unethical. I think the exact same thing here.

If somebody says, well, it's ethical for me to turn away somebody who wants the day after pill. I say that's unethical. I think that set of rules is super fucked up, to be honest. Like, you know, it says in here all they have to do is transfer the script or do nothing. You know, there's a lot of people who don't have transportation. They have one pharmacy in their neighborhood.

They don't have a fucking car. So now, like, I go to the doctor. The doctor says, you should take this medicine. And I go, and the guy who sells the medicine won't sell me the medicine. I basically no longer have access to the healthcare. My doctor and I have decided is the best course of treatment for me. Cause the fucking gatekeeper won't open the gate. I'm sorry,

but fuck you open the fucking gate. And I feel the same way. It was just like, you know, like what if, what if your store and then all the stores in your city and then all the stores in your in your county don't offer it how far does this person have to go before they're actually able to get the stuff that they need well and how many people like on the west side of chicago would not have access to transportation

to get to another right pharmacy you know it's like it's real easy for someone like me right like i've got four or five pharmacies within a seven-minute drive of my house. So like, oh, we transfer the script down the road. The worst it is is a mild inconvenience for me. I hop in the car, which I own. I drive to the other pharmacy, no problem. But how many people are like, they're not terribly mobile, or they don't have the money to get to the next pharmacy, like they're not terribly mobile or they don't have the money to get to the next

pharmacy or they live in some rural backwater garbage part of America or an urban backwater garbage part of America. That's a huge number of people. We're getting some calls to prayer and this one is from Ben from Western Australia. Allahu Akbar.

Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Nicely done. Great transition. Very good. That one was really good. Tom, we got a message. This is from Dustin.

And Dustin says, we were talking a while back about the kids in cages and things like that. And so he said, you know, I was looking at their, you know, the Republican Party, basically the preamble to the Republican Party on their website just to see like, well, where do they stand on some of this stuff? On some word, what's their official platform? And I'm gonna read this. It says, we believe America is exceptional because of our historic role, first as refuge, then as defender.

Refuge. Refuge, it's right in there. It's literally right in there. Just not for refugees. No. All right, so we have two. Normally I don't play two, but we didn't get a lot of them this week.

So this is from Leftover Hamsters. I got two in a row I'm going to play. I think we might've gotten something very similar. I don't know if it's the same one, but we might have gotten something very similar. I don't know if it's the same one, but we might have gotten it before. A good transition. All that double pedal drum stuff sounds insane. It sounds amazing. Makes me want to wear fruit on my head. I'll tell you that, that high-pitched sound, is that a person screaming?

Probably. Oh, wow. It's like the lady from the Fifth Element. They're probably in a cage. Got a message from Tucker, and Tucker said, the rule I was talking about last time was the Fairness Doctrine, which basically allowed, and, the rule I was talking about last time was the fairness doctrine, which basically allowed, um, and this was when I was talking about how, um, you know, there used to be a rule that they took away and it did actually get repealed during Reagan where,

um, there was a rule that the FCC had that you had to give equal time to two different sides. So that there was a Republican, you had to give equal time to a Democrat. So that was the rule I was talking about. I was thinking of maybe a modernization of that Fairness Doctrine, which would allow people to actually know that a news source is an actual news source. Because we've come to a point now where that's easily obfuscated. And so what we'd like to do is make sure that that wouldn't be a thing. But there was a couple, like the Fairness Doctrine, and there was another one that also had sort of like, he said that there was a community service provision of a broadcast license that basically required TV and radio stations to do programming,

which could be said to provide a service to the community. So both of those things were removed. And it happened all around the same time as like the 24 hour news cycle started coming around and things like that this is the last one this is called a prayer this is from Davey from SoCal

this is how we die okay Okay. Oh, God. We are so going to die. But that is fucking amazing. It's really good. I mean, it's really, really good. It's really good.

I will put this in the rotation, actually. I'm going to put, because it's fucking really good. But we're going to die from that. I don't want to die from that. I'm going to play, because it's fucking really good. But we're going to die from that. I don't want to die from that. I'm going to play it one more time. I'm bringing my gun everywhere. Jesus Christ. Especially at the end.

It's the end. It's the racist end. Oh my God. So bad. That's the worst. Davey, it's the racist end oh my god so bad that's the worst Davey you're gonna get us killed thanks so much

we appreciate it please send in your calls to prayer and your bulletproof vest by the end of September I will not be playing any more of these so be sure to send in as

I'm gonna have to live with a blast shield around basically so next week normal show but we're still reminding people there are still general admission tickets, not platinum night or VIP tickets, but there are still general admission tickets available to the live show of Citation Needed here in Chicago. They're going fast.

I mean, we might run out of them. We very well might sell out. It's a big theater, but we might sell out of them. They're relatively inexpensive, and we're going to be doing a thing afterwards. After we're done with the show, we're going to be heading on over across the street to hang out. So if you want to come see the show,

you want to meet the Puzzle and Thunderstorm guys, you want to meet us, we're going to be doing it here in Chicago, August 11th, Victory Biograph Theater. We'll put a link to the tickets in the show notes. The guys are hopefully going to be around in town, and we're going to try to do some sort of recording with them for this show while they're here. So not this week, but the following week should have something that will include everyone. We're going to see. Maybe we can get everybody involved,

the whole puzzle on the Thunderstorm and us, maybe for a whole show. We'll see. But that's coming up in a couple of weeks. But be sure if you're going to go to the live show, now's your chance to get tickets. But that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do

with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures,ox, Reflex, Foot Massage

Death in Towers, Tarot Cars Psychic Healing, Crystal Balls Bigfoot, Yeti, Aliens Churches, Mosques and Synagogues Temples, Dragons, Giant Worms Atlantis, Dolphins, Truthers Birthers, Witches, Wizards Vaccine Nuts

Shaman Healers, Evangelists Conspiracy, Double Speak, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability,

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