Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 427: Q’s Quinceañera

Episode Date: August 6, 2018

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This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Oh my God, the next time I finish making love to my boyfriend, I'm just going to lean over and whisper into his ear, you've been homosexualized. Glorio. Tom, Cecil, Susan Tribble from Holy Crap the Vlogcast. I have a request.

Don't ever, ever stop ragging on Indiana. Not only do they deserve it, but they deserve it more than anybody else because they gave us freaking Mike Pence. Enjoy! And, uh, plural. Hello, guys. It's Rob from Hawaii again. I forgot to mention on the last call, I was listening to your last episode about the movies that we used to watch as a kid. And Cecil is right. Big Trouble in Little China is one of the best movies of all time.

But also from our childhood, everybody seems to want to suck Goonie's dick and fuck that movie. Monster Squad is a far superior version of that movie. I know it came out after, but whatever. Sometimes the

copy is better than the original. So yeah, if you haven't checked it out, check out Monster Squad. It's a fucking awesome movie. And glory hole. Hey, Tom, just letting you know that we already are living in a fucking profitocracy.

It's just you're using the wrong spelling of profit. Glory hole. Glory, Hope. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 427 of Cognitive Dissonance. Q's hit it big, Tom. This is it.

Q has hit it big. This is Q's coming out party. I was going to say, this is like his quinceañera, right? His quinceañera. Huh? Yeah? You're picking up

what I'm throwing down, Cecil. I love a great quinceañerail We're going to have like a He's going to come down like a flight of steps In a fancy gown I think that's a little sexist on your part How do you know it's a he? It's anonymous thank you very much That's actually a good point

I'm not sure But like This is some stupid shit this is guy stupid this is like remember when you were like a teenager and you were just pranking people to fuck with people and like vandalizing shit

this is the same thing are you old enough to have been in chat rooms like actual chat I'm old enough but I didn't do it I had friends that would come over to my house because we had aol back in the day and i had friends that would come over to my house and they would uh they would pretend they were girls in the chat room we would make a specific username yeah right that would be the thing and they would pretend they're stacy Stacey loves cock or whatever. 69, 69, 69, 69, 69, I'm

a girl. But like, seriously, they would pretend. They would spend that time. It's the earliest catfishing, right? Yeah, exactly. They would just, they would try. It's chatfishing. Chatfishing. But yeah,

they would spend their time trying to do that. And they would try to, you know, troll people back before there was even a term for it. Sure. Um, and, and I think that that sort of thing has gone on since the birth of the

internet. But the problem is, is that what, what happened, what's happening with this Q thing is that it feels like these people have been transported from another time. Yeah. Into now.

And they're just like, do you know there's a thing called the internet and people have information about very secret stuff that they just give away? You know what, man? It does feel, it does feel like, it feels like they have not, they're not jaded and cynical about the content available online. Right. To the point where like, like the rest of us look at the online world and we're like, nothing online is believable ever.

I don't care if your mom posted it and it is a picture of you. She took with you. It's probably bullshit, right? Like there is a level of like incredulity that should be applied to anything that you find online and be like, yeah, I automatically don't believe it.

You've got to cross a pretty high bar for me to get to it. Right? Yeah. And then there's these guys who are like, well, I don't know. I think girls like to get fucked in the ass, then the mouth. Like, no, just as the internet is teaching you all the wrong lessons. One time on a place, a little place I like to call porn. Yeah.

No, but seriously, there's a lot of, it feels like they're like Rip Van Winkle. Like they just woke up. Yeah. And they're like, what year is it? They do seem like they want to tell you like a big, like, did you know that you can use your computer? Yeah.

Hold on a minute, guys. Let's go. You know what? Let's go to the parking garage. This is better for the parking garage. From the phones. First of all, your phone is a computer. Don't!

Zip it! Zip! Shut! Quiet! Okay. But you can go onto the internet and you can talk to people who know all the secrets of the stuff. And you're just like, come the fuck on! But yeah, they seem like

that level of unsophisticated. like, come the fuck on. But yeah, they seem like that level of unsophisticated. Yeah, it's totally true. There's a story and this is the story from Washington Post and they went to a Trump big... Like a Trump rally. Like a Trump rally, yeah.

Because we're still having those. By the way, two years in... I saw an article. I saw an article. I saw an article from someone, I forget who it was, where they had said basically like, let's stop treating these like news. Yeah, I saw the same thing. These aren't news. This isn't a news thing.

This isn't, there's nothing newsworthy about it. It's the same fucking press conference or whatever, not press conference, it's the same rally he's given. Do you think this sets a precedent, a presidential precedent, though, where like presidents are now? Because like I was reading that same thing, right, where it's like we're two years into the administration and we're having rallies. What the fuck are we rallying around? Yeah. entered a place like where we were always in a place where before an election cycle, you would take a break from the business of governance and you would spend a good year

trying to get reelected. Right. So you you worked for three years, then really year three, four was your ass trying to get reelected. Yeah. Now your job after you get the job is to get the job again. And your whole job is getting the job. Do you think, though? I mean, like, what I think when I think about Trump, I think unbelievable narcissist. So I think that there's... But I think that's just the reason he wants the job in the first place. No, I mean, I think that's the reason for the rallies.

It's because he wants to feel like people are cheering for him all the time. No, yeah, no, I totally agree. And I like, I think the extension of that is like the only reason he even wants to be president is that narcissism, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, right, right. And like the only reason he even wants to be president is that narcissism right and like the idea of losing would be so damaging to his his personal worldview they're like you've got to just

stump every day like the guy doesn't hold like sarah huckabee sanders prior administrations held press conferences daily press briefings And this administration holds once in a while press briefings. They'll go weeks sometimes without a press brief. Sure. This is an intensely untransparent government. Absolutely. And then the presidents before would have press conferences themselves and he just doesn't do it.

He just doesn't do it. He just doesn't do it probably because he's fucking terrible at it. Yeah. Oh yeah. And like let's pause and think about that because George W. Bush gave press conferences. That guy could barely read. It was so hard for Cheney to stick his hand up his back

the whole time. Like a stick to move his head back and forth. There's no more. Admittedly, there's no other president that looks as much like Howdy Doody. I will say like the other night we were talking

about the um the the incident with uh during during the trump um inauguration where w couldn't put the poncho on and we watched that video again of that sad shitty old man trying to work a piece of plastic figure it out yeah and it's's like, you, you scamp, you got us into two wars that we didn't need to get into on false pretenses. And I thought you were going to go down in history as the worst president. And now you seem adorably dementia cute.

Yeah. Like I kind of love you. You want to, you want to have them look the other way and steal his cup of peaches. Right. It's like his crimes against humanity, though they be numerous now seem quaint. Like you're just like, Ohaches. Yeah, right? It's like his crimes against humanity, though they be numerous,

now seem quaint. You're just like, oh, you silly guy. I want to roll it back to Q here for a second because there's an interview that I saw with these Q people, right? These people, so they show up. We've been talking about Q for maybe two months, three months.

We found out about it through Liz Crokin, who is, really, she's got a finger on the pulse of the nation here. And we've actually had Q discussions and tapes and stuff played on the show. We've even cut a couple of these from the show because they're just not interesting, right? Like, you get to the point where you're just like,

this is such made-up bullshit. There's nothing I can say to make this funny. There's nothing I can... It's just not, it's not interesting or funny. This is the new version of the Masons run the world. You would think it would be funny. You're like, man,

there's gotta be fucking mad jokes in there. But you're just like, at a certain point, you're just like, yeah, none of this has ever happened. Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most. Right.

The end. Yeah. That's it. This did not occur so hard. Exactly. So hard. It's so hard. Well, this fucking,

they're, they're interviewing some of these people and they have like images of these people in the audience. And I just want to point out, we're looking at this, this elderly couple. She has on a, a American flag hat and they both have shirts and the shirts have a big giant

Q on it. And then a, an inexplicable YouTube logo in the center. Like how weird is it to wear, like, a YouTube shirt? That's like wearing a 3M shirt. Yeah, right? Do you know what I endorse? YouTube.

It's like wearing a Prudential shirt. Yeah, I really like what Prudential does with my shirts. I'll take their free swag and wear it. Wearing, like, a shirt that just says radio. It's just a medium. It's just a medium. It's just like... Podcasting.

Yeah, right? Like, I enjoy viewership. What the fuck does that even... Uh-huh. But you look at these people. I try not to because fucking look at these people. You think,

that's a person who just learned how computers work. Very recently. These are people who barely seem to know how t-shirts work. Are you kidding me?

And we were talking earlier, Tom. We were saying to each other earlier, I said to you, I said, have these people, these people who clearly, are they easily duped? Are they dumb? Are they, I don't know,

I don't know enough about them to make this. Do I have to pick or can we have a... I think they can be, I think they can be all of the above. But you know, I don't know who these people are, but I know what they believe. Yeah, right. And so from that, I can extrapolate a little bit of information about them.

And the information isn't good because some of the stuff that they think is true is so outrageous that you just shake your head and say, no, who could possibly believe this? But we were talking earlier and I said, these people have had to always exist. Like this person who is very, very gullible and easily swayed and totally latches onto the one thing that proves their worldview or makes sense of part of their worldview. They exist. Right, yeah.

These guys are like yarn hunters, right? And they've always existed. But before the internet, they didn't have any other way to talk to other yarn hunters. Right. Like these guys, like before they were in their basement, they were muttering to themselves. They had all the thumbtacks and the yarn and they were, you know, weaving together the connections between, you know, Chobani yogurt and a pizza place.

And gay frogs. Yeah. Because those are all real things, by the way, that people have now connected because yeah kill yourself that's why exactly but like yeah yeah before those people were isolated as the fucking crazy people they were and now the this is like the insult we're talking about this before it's like the insult thing right like those people those people always existed and they wouldn't and they wouldn't but they didn't matter yeah right but now they can connect to each other and they can band together and they can actually have an impact. That rage. Yes. You know what I mean? And magnify that insanity. Everything gets magnified. And then- One thing, I'm sorry. One thing that these community,

these online community groups do really, really, really well is they build insulation around themselves and they just continuously support these ideas so that all that they see now, the only places they go to look for information, there's a curated view of the world that continues to show them what they expected already to see. And so it's like, yeah, everything matches. It's like, well, fucking, yeah, all your clothes match if all you buy is red clothes. Go talk to Rajani. She's about that shit. Yeah. All that shit fucking matches. It's like, well, fucking, yeah, all your clothes match if all you buy is red clothes. Go talk to Rajani. She's about that shit.

Yeah, all that shit fucking matches. No fucking surprise, but look at your surroundings. When you reduce the context of your world, then the input is reduced. Yeah. Well, yeah, and there's this moment where one of these people

is being interviewed by somebody from CNN. And they're having this conversation. And the person from CNN says, well, what is Q? And this person stumble fucks their way through some, it's an outline-ish of what Q really is. And if you're unfamiliar with what Q is, Q just sort of represents this top security person who is connected deeply with the government. And it could also be multiple people. Yeah, it's one person or 10 people. And they're very connected to high levels of security in the government.

They have these very deep connections. Either they're part of it or they know people that are part of it, allegedly. are part of it or they know people that are part of it allegedly and they post these questions and other things to the internet to let people know the things that they've found out you know and one of those things happens to be that hillary clinton like has a check sex pedophile she has a she has a pedophile where she's the head of a pedophile ringer she's deeply involved in a pedophile ring that's just one thing but there's many many many things and so the person asks them after they fumble fuck their way of trying to explain what q is he says. That's just one thing, but there's many, many, many things. And so the person asks them after they fumble fuck their way of trying to explain what Q is, he says, well, it's just, how do you know that it's just not, I mean, it's an anonymous person. So how do you know that

they're like telling you the truth? How do you know that there's what they're saying is true? And the person responds with, how do you know that it isn't true? And I stopped and I thought, that is like the most simple thing you learn as a person who has paid attention to any kind of argument whatsoever. You learn that so early in life. You can't prove it's not true, but the burden of proof isn't on me. It's on you. You're making the fantastic claim. What is it that Carl Sagan said? He's like, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. You're the one who asked to

produce the evidence. You have the claim. The claim is Q is telling the truth. Prove it. It's your burden. It's not our burden. It's not anyone else's burden. I'll never be able to prove to you that it's not true, but your job is to prove to me that it is. It's just simple. It's not anyone else's burden. I'll never be able to prove to you that it's not true, but your job is to prove to me that it is. And it's just simple. I mean, it's very simple. And these people just miss it. And I would pass that off as just maybe this person isn't super bright, but he interviewed several people and they said all the same thing. How can you prove it's not true? prove it's not true.

Yeah, well, I think that's the... There's another Washington Post article, another one about this, where the guy interviews a Q believer. And the guy says he describes himself as an academic. And the Washington Post reporter is like, well, tell me about that. He's like, well, not so much an academic

as I am an armchair philosopher. And what he basically means is he reads shit online. It's fucking University of Google. Right, that's exactly what I was going to say. This is the, what the fuck was her name? Jenny McCarthy. You know, I went to the University of Google.

I looked some stuff up online. I don't know how to differentiate between true things and untrue things. I don't know how to vet sources. I don't know how to spot editorializing. I don't know how to examine people in terms of their motives and how motives might affect the truth that they offer. These are not self-evident tools that people just naturally possess. And they're getting suckered into this

shit. And they're able to now band together. And that's going to create its own sort of force, its own sort of magnetism of insanity. And I think that's what we're seeing here with the Q shit. They've band together big enough where they're getting, they're coming to Trump rallies, where they're getting stories printed in these papers, where CNN is interviewing some of these people, where there's enough of them in the crowd,

where they're standing behind Trump. They have real-time, real-life visibility now but just like the fucking incels right like they like they have real-time real-life consequences yes that that occur because these insulated communities of fucking wackaloons now have an opportunity to self-reinforce and to to gather momentum You know, what's interesting about this is people forget very recent history. And in very recent history, there was a, there still is, a thing called WikiLeaks. And that, do you remember Chelsea Manning? Yeah. Oh yeah. Right. Yeah. Chelsea Manning went to jail. Chelsea Manning gave stuff to WikiLe yep at a high level of clearance found got

stuff and gave it to wiki leaks and then went to jail for it that information that you know like would be you know given out by these high levels of security or whatever somebody would find this guy would find this person right and know where that information is coming from but like they're even able to pinpoint people who leak shit to the press from Trump. They're able to pinpoint those people. They're never going to see

that stuff. What this really feels like is to me is a 21st century version of the late 20th century Illuminati, Masons, New World Order conspiracy, right? It is one sort of global answer that connects all these different things

so that the world makes sense under this conspiracy theory in a way that like, hey, there's all these different things happening. They're very difficult to understand. They become more difficult the more you dig into them. Some things, some ways that people behave may not make sense at all. Those, the reality of how the world works,

where it's complex and interwoven, but not necessarily always interdependent, like where there is a certain amount of chaos and randomness to the world, all of that's hard, right? It's hard to understand. It's hard to accept. It's hard to say, I don of that's hard. Yeah. Right. It's hard to understand. It's hard to accept. It's hard to say, I don't know.

Yeah. That's one of the hardest things to say. Well, and that's something that like, when you read this Q stuff, one of the things that's very enticing from the articles that I read is like what they say, one of the common threads is like, you know, this is an answer to all these questions that I have. Yeah. These people have questions about like, how could this all be? And I'll admit, I've said it on the show, sometimes I feel a little sympathetic to that idea because I look around sometimes and I'm like, I feel like a crazy person

in the world that we live in occasionally. I feel like, how can all of this be happening? I feel it about what I would consider to be like liberal causes, right? I look around, I feel like, how can all of this be happening? I feel it about what I would consider to be like liberal causes, right? I look around, I'm like, how are we not fixing these problems? We have solutions and we ignore them, you know? But like, I'm sympathetic to that idea that you look around the world and you feel like a crazy person because sometimes things seem like we should have fixed this, and we are not. And so maybe there is something standing in the way. And it's hard to realize that what stands in the way most often is avarice and apathy.

Yeah, right. Well, it also, what is interesting to this, when we talk about conspiracy theories, right, and linking all those conspiracy theories together, what better person to be the object of their affection is Donald Trump? Yeah. There's no better person. Here's a guy who was a birther.

Here's a guy who's anti-vax. He has spouted off several conspiracy theories in the past. And has, you know, he's the guy who released the JFK papers. You know what I mean? To try to like, I don't even know what for. Hey, remember when nothing came of that? Yeah, remember when nobody found anything in those? Yeah, that's the guy who released the JFK papers, you know, to try to like, I don't even know what. I remember when nothing came of that. Yeah.

Remember when nobody found anything in those? Yeah. That's why. I know. So, um, but, but he's, he's a conspiracy theorist and he, and he won't, he won't put the breaks on any of those conspiracy theories, even when proof is evident. And this again is, is, is very similar to the movement that's following. Yeah. evident. And this, again, is very similar to the movement that's following him.

I want to read something out of this article. In a world in which QAnon believers live, Trump detractors, such as Republican Senator John McCain of Arizona and Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, wear ankle monitors to track their whereabouts. Press reports are dismissed as Operation Mockingbird, the name given to alleged mid-century infiltration of the American media by the CIA. The Illuminati looms large in QAnon, as do the Rothschilds, a wealthy Jewish family vilified by conspiracy theorists as the leader of a satanic cult.

Among the world's leaders wise to satanic influences, the theory holds, is Russian President Vladimir Putin. I mean, seriously, all this is missing is pulling off someone's mask and they're a lizard. It's David. Same thing. It's David. It's the same shit. Yeah. I part of me wonders if someone just read part of David Icke's book and is trolling these people using that stuff.

Yeah. Because it feels, you just read it and you're, we read David Icke when he's just like, yeah, they fucking eat baby, they fucking kill babies because that makes their emotional vampirage feel. Yeah, it gets stronger. It gives them a fucking emotional vampire heart on or whatever. And you're just like, yeah, this is the stupidest shit I've ever read. I've never read anything dumber than this. This is it. This is the pinnacle of stupidity. This is the, yeah, this is stupid as shit I've ever read. I've never read anything dumber than this. This, this is,

this is it. This is the pinnacle of stupidity of the dumbest thing. Except for this is kind of worse because that's like self evidently stupid to the point where like it's, it's available purely for mockery. Yeah. And like, this is a political force showing up to rallies for our current fucking

president. What's crazy. Did you see the Hoover dam thing? No. So this guy gets in an, in a armored car. I heard about this. He stops traffic for like two hours and holds up a thing in the armored car

that says, release these reports. And it's all related to this Q shit. Yeah. So this is already causing some things to happen in real life. Just like people showing up to a pizza parlor with a fucking automatic weapon or semi-automatic weapon. But, you know, just like people harassing the Sandy Hook kids, you know, like just like people murdering other people, like the incels murdering other people. Like there's no like this idea that like that we can that we can like hold at the gate the difference between what happens online and real life, it's a liar's idea.

It's not true. What we have to be aware of is our behavior online is our behavior. It's not a separate set of behaviors segregated from the rest of the life because it's now part of real life. There is no meaningful distinction, just like you would not make a meaningful distinction between, well, I said that on the phone. It wasn't real life. That's a silly thing to say. And we need to, and I think we are, we need to stop making that difference and that distinction and recognize like, these are bad ideas. These are dangerous ideas. And we're more connected and people are more connected to share these ideas

and foment that anger. And it's having real world effects. So like we got to build some social tools and that's what's going to do it. We got to build some social tools to address this. I don't know what those are. I don't know what they are either. But most other behaviors get called by the social group, right? Most of the time we're kept in line, I think, not by a series of laws, but most of our behavior is kept in line by social rules. Exactly. So I have to think that eventually social rules will kick in. There's no law that you can't be loud in a museum,

but nobody is. Right. You know what I mean? Nobody is because the social rules say, don't be loud in a museum. And so the same thing may eventually happen here where there's no law that you can't post any of this stuff, but nobody's going to believe it.

Yeah, right. And I think that's how it was for a while. At least that's what it felt like for a while. It felt like in the early days, those wistful early days of the Internet, and not even early days. We're talking, you know, in the 2000s, a little after, you know, maybe all the way to like 2010. It felt like, you know, the Internet is a good thing. It's a positive force, a democratization of information. You know, people are able to see, you know, frauds

for frauds and, you know, truth for truth. Right. Arab Springs. And now you're looking at it and you're like, there's people out there who just they seriously can't tell the difference between what, they don't know what reality is. Yeah, well, it's like a funhouse. Yeah. Like the

whole thing is like a funhouse. Like, and there are people who are ill-equipped to walk through it. Yeah. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened. Oh my God. This is a, this right wing watch Liz Crokin,

John F. Kennedy Jr. faked his death and is now Q and on. So I want to point out that you guys can't see this video, but in the video, Liz is talking to someone else who is also standing in front of a painting. So, but that person doesn't talk or talks very little in this. So she's talking to someone, but they're essentially just a listener.

Just a listener. So let's just kind of go over that whole theory. Yeah. Because I've been following it really closely. Following it by like Googling shit? Yeah, following it. Is that how we follow things now? Do you think she knows what a theory is though? Ah, colloquially?

Oh yeah, for sure. Do I think that like when she follows a story, it's like I was browsing around on fucking 8chan and this came up a bunch. This came up on my Facebook feed, guys. I'm following it. So, I tweeted this theory months ago.

I think it was in 8chan. I tweeted it. I tweeted it. Sorry. Seriously, though. But that's how we get information now. You know, I'll tell you what. I read some random shit just browsing around, scrolling through fucking Instagram about this. And then I later fucking burped out 140 characters of fucking nonsense with a fucking Owly link attached to it.

Because I'm a journalist and this is now research. A journalist. This is why the world is a pile of shit. My press credentials is like, it's like a fake made-up bitch. It's Liz Croken. The Z is backwards. Jesus Christ. And, okay, number one,

when I'm over the target, and this is something that you know yourself because you've dealt with it, that's when I get the most slack, whether it's censorship on social media like you deal with as well. But when I'm really over the target there's a hit piece about me like that's posted i'm on these you know bs websites almost immediately

right now in april um i shared a theory about john john being alive and being part of hue and when i first heard this theory it just immediately resonated with me. I got goosebumps everywhere. And that's how you know something is true. You know, like, I know things are true if I'm cold. Goosebumps. If I'm reading R.L. Stine's Goosebumps series,

that's how all those are true. Oh my God. They give me goosebumps. Goosebumps. Fucking goosebumps. It's just like, could you imagine walking through the world, Tom? And being like, oh guys, my ears are ringing.

Someone must be talking about me. Ooh, I got goosebumps. What was I just thinking about? It's true. Oh, I should definitely park. Oh, I do want Chipotle. Oh my God, it's true. Oh, I should definitely park. Oh, I do want Chipotle. Oh my God. It's true.

I got goosebumps. Oh. Oh, I should buy that album on iTunes. That's how truth is. It just, whatever gives me the goosers, you know, I got goosebumps. We're listening. I'm over the target. We're listening to your getting goosebumps.

And that's fucking somehow important. Like I would share that information. Like I got goosebumps when that happened. Seriously. Like, you know, it's like telling people when you had bowel movements. I think, you know, I think I'm just going to decide. Actually, that might be more important. Well, I was going to say like, I'm just going to decide on any bodily reaction.

Yeah, sure. Every time I get an erection, a true thing. It's like every time I get an erection, a true thing, it's like every time I get an erection, an angel gets its wings or something, right? That's my dowsing rod. Get over here. I'm a very intuitive person, and

usually when it happens, it's confirmation that there's truth to it, right? Oh my god, are you fucking serious right now? Yep. Oh yeah, buddy. I'm super duper intuitive. And if I get goosebumps, it means it's true. You have spidey sense.

The fuck is happening, man? I'm super intuitive. I know. And you know what? Every time I've had an intuition. That just means you're new agey. That's all that means. Every time I have an intuition, it's true because I just later decided that it was true.

Because I forgot all the misses. She just makes up the hits, though. It's not even as bad as that. It's not your right because the hits aren't even hits. Hits? She's just like, that's... It's the most fucking circular shit ever. It's impossible for her to be wrong.

It's so true. She can't. Her standard is it's true because I thought it was true. And that's how I know true. And then I just made up this thing so there's no verification on it whatsoever. Oh my god. And it's true because of my bodily

functions. And I felt compelled to tweet it. And I wrote in a tweet something along the lines of, you know, this is an interesting theory. I didn't state as fact that John, you know... But didn't she just say, like, it was a true thing because you got goosebumps? Yeah, but, and when she

posted it online, which is, I mean, that's when, this is where the responsibility in her journalism comes. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, like, she knew in her hearty heart heart that it was true. So, her guidelines and standards are, did you get goosebumps? That's the first bullet point. Number two, did you believe this on your tippy toes?

Look, it's goosebumps. Pinky swear. But you don't say something is absolutely true unless you also experience vaginal dryness. Would someone double dog dare you? And if that's the case, then yes, it is a truth. John F. Kennedy Jr. is alive. I didn't see anything as fact. I just said, this is interesting.

And right after I shared this on Twitter, there was a hit piece written about me. And I'm thinking, that's really crazy. Like why? That is so bizarre. I just tweeted a theory that wasn't even my own and said this is interesting and next thing i know there's a hit piece written about me like calling me names and saying i'm a nut literally calling me nut and you're kind of like like i mean literally let's just be honest here yeah okay so that within itself made me think oh like there's something to this so since then she already think oh there's something to this. So since then... Didn't she already think,

ooh, there's something to this? Then she tweeted it. Then somebody was like, that's crazy. She's like, all the more reason to believe it. So you say something outlandish. Someone says to you, that's fucking crazy. And they're like, oh, I must be getting close.

Someone said that was insane. Can you imagine playing like hot or colder with her? You'd be like, coldish. You'd be like, oh, I must be getting close. Someone said that was insane. Could you imagine playing like hot or colder with her? You'd be like, colder. She'd be like, that means hotter. You wouldn't say colder if you didn't want me to get closer to it. She'd just be walking in every direction at the same time. I would do that. And I would tell her opposite directions to a wood chip.

That's what I would do. And part of the reason why the theory resonated with me is because Q at one point said, you're not going to believe who you're talking to here. And when Q wrote that, I thought, it's going to be someone that's so crazy

where even people that are woke and know what's going on are going to be... Woke. Woke. Woke. Like, oh oh my lord this is insane and so you know it being president trump well everybody knows president trump's a part of it so that's not shocking you know someone like everybody knows everybody knows everybody knows the president trump is one of the q yeah he is Q. They should call this Borg, not Q. They got this wrong, right?

It's part of the collective. I know. It totally makes sense now. Q is, the beautiful thing about Q is, no matter who they eventually find out that it is, he was just one of them. Yeah. Right.

It's perfect. I know they won't because they don't even want to look. Nobody who could give a shit. They could find out tomorrow. That's the biggest thing, right? Is that the only way that this gets, the only way that someone ever bothers to look into this is if it gets big enough to actually cause

some sort of terrorist attack. Like if it causes some sort of really big terrorist attack in some way. Yeah, then they'll just go find that guy. Well, then they're going to probably start coming out and being like,

guys, there's nothing to this. There might be an official opinion. Like General Flynn, like that wouldn't be shocking. You know, it wouldn't be shocking at all that he has no security clearance

because he's fucking left the building at this point. What is he going to? That would be the most shocking thing in the world if General Flynn was fucking Q. Are you kidding me? It would be shocking if Q

actually had any actionable information. But to be honest, if General Flynn was somehow leaking information to the public, that would be crazy. Well, it should be the scandal of the century. I don't even know if it should be the scandal of the century I don't even know if it would be the scandal of Tuesday it wouldn't even be like

in the top six you know what I mean at this point like of Friday yeah at this point if there was another teapot dome scandal people would be like I like milk in my tea what like they wouldn't even listen I don't even know what you're talking about that would be shocking because we all think he's dead John F. Kennedy Jr. that would be

shocking because we all think he's dead you know cause he died and that's we all think he's dead. John F. Kennedy Jr. That would be shocking because we all think he's dead. You know? No, because he died. And that's why we think he's dead. It was a plane crash. Yeah, he's dead. So, you know, and we all think he's dead for decades. We think that. We think he's dead because there was

evidence of his death. Like, he dies. He's like, I'm just going to wait until they invent the internet. And then he's biding his time. Slowly waiting. Someday they're Like, he dies. He's like, I'm just going to wait until they invent the internet. And then... It's time. Slowly waiting. Someday they're going to invent the internet. And then when they do, but not right when they do, like many years, like two or a half, three decades after that.

Many years after. Then I'm going to really heat up. But right before I reveal myself, I really mean I'll stay in the shadows. What I wonder is how John John gets to just walk into all these security clearance places. Oh, I'm John F. Kennedy Jr. Oh, yeah. Come on in. CIA meeting. Why don't you just sit right down here? I'm kind of a big deal. No worries. I'm dead.

But I'm not dead. It's a whole thing. Anyway, I'd like to see all your classified documents, please. And bring a cup of coffee. Maybe he's a ghost. I like it. Two sugars, one cream. As to be someone, we're all like, what the... And, okay, so furthermore,

when you, as someone who's a writer, who's not only written tons of articles, but wrote an entire novel, I study handwriting. And I'm really good at, you know, if someone texts, if someone, if one of my good friends has someone steal their phone and they text me, I'll know in one text that it's not them.

That's not handwriting. You realize that handwriting is not electronic characters. That's like being like, you know, I love this hand-done embroidery by this electronic sewing machine. That's not handwriting. That's not hand-done. Well, they use the script font. That's not handwriting. It's not handwriting. I It's not hand done. Well, they use the script font in... It's not hand. It's not handwritten.

I study handwriting. I study handwriting. First of all, handwriting analysis, graphology has long been debunked. Yeah. So that's not a thing. So it's garbage. Yeah.

But also, that's not even what you referred to yourself. And I could see totally, right? Like someone being able to know if someone stole. I think that's pretty easy. Like that doesn't even require a goosebumps level of intuition. Yeah, unless the response you're getting is, okay, or see you soon. It's pretty easy to be like, that's not how Cecil writes.

I tell you, you can type like that. Yeah. I'm really good at reading handwriting and understanding handwriting. Handwriting. And what I've always kind of felt with Q's post is that and I believe Q's a group of people President Trump is part of it.

And so is John John and Flynn. How are you going to study? What she's really talking about is studying whether or not the tone of each of these posts is a different person. Thematically consistent. That's anonymous.

If it's more than one person, you could never tell. It's an anonymous board and I'm almost, I would bet everything I own that it's multiple trolls. Yeah. It's some dude's like, I don't have time to make something up.

I don't think it's coordinated. I don't think it's coordinated either up. I got to get some more Totino's pizza rolls. I don't think it's coordinated either. I think somebody is probably posting stuff and saying they're it. And then someone else will post and say they're it. Right. It's like, we could go do it right now. We could do it right now. Like, does she not know that she could set up an account right now on some board somewhere and call herself QAnon?

And I think on a lot of these boards, you're just anonymous by default. Right? So you just type anonymous by default, right? So you just type anything and say, I am Q? There's no, there's, yeah. So there's nothing that, I'm pretty sure that's how 4chan works. You don't even have to have a username? I've only briefly been on 4chan, so I can't be sure, but I'm pretty sure that it's, that it's, that it's, they're all just anonymous posts. It's not even username based? You know, there's probably one main person who's Q who could be possibly John F. Kennedy Jr. The one thing that always struck me about Q's post

is the passion for John F. Kennedy Sr. And when I say passion, I'm talking the passion for JFK Sr. is so intense. I don't see how this passion could come from anyone that didn't know him. He was four when he died or three. How did he know him? He didn't know him. I don't even remember anything from before. So many people are passionate about JFK. Yeah, right.

Are you fucking kidding? He was like American royalty or whatever. Of all the fucking presidents we've ever had, he might be the one that people historically have been most passionate about. Right. It's like the worst example. It's actually the worst

possible example. I don't know anybody who can be passionate about JFK. I mean, really, who gives a shit about that guy? Oliver Stone. Yeah. Yeah, that's Q. Oliver Stone. Yeah. That's Q. Oh my God. He didn't love him.

And so you have to think about, well, who could that be? Well, if John F. Kennedy Jr. was still alive, then that would make perfect sense. No, no. I have a four-year-old. If I die tomorrow, he will not know who i ever was if i got hit by a bus tomorrow my little littlest boy amen will not know who the fuck i was he'll

grow up with no no memories of me whatsoever he won't love dear old dad for the fucking four years most of which he wasn't able to house long-term memories in his underdeveloped cerebral cortex. You fucking kidding me? This is, I mean, this is legit nutty. It's crazy. It's crazy. The only thing that would make it more crazy is if like one of these people at one point started peeling their

face with like a fucking potato. I know, right? And there's a lizard under it. This is bath salts crazy. And it really is. It really is. On a scale from one to bath salts. You know what, Jim? Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

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your buddies in the drunk tank about the show. We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. Alright, so it's from the Washington Post. Here we go, man. So this article presents an argument that

Trump's most recent tweets and I don't even know how to say most recent tweet in a show that will post in a few days and have that be meaningful, but in some tweets that have come out in the not too distant past, they are arguing in this article that those tweets may represent an obstruction of justice problem. They represent potentially an obstruction of justice problem because he said

Mueller should be fired. We got to stop this investigation. Should or shouldn't. No collusion. No, but like like is it should or shouldn't be fired or should

it's hard to know we'll have to wait for the correction what he meant to say was cause we have to fucking this fucking president is like fucking rooster guts like you gotta fucking divine what he's saying out of the well what he said one thing what he really did was he meant the opposite yeah my favorite giulianiism recently was when

he's like look there's been no collusion but if there was collusion it might not be a cry it wasn't a crime. Yeah. I mean, think about any other statement and just get rid of collusion. My client did not commit that murder. But if he did, it was self-defense. That's okay. Right? I was watching a Key and Peele skit the other day.

They call the police. And one of them standing there, he's saying, look, I just was coming by and this car just happened to be open. I did not, I was not breaking into this car. He's going on and on and on.

It's like, but maybe, let's just say hypothetically, there's a severed head in the trunk. I did not put that head there. I have no idea how that, but let's just say hypothetically, that's what this feels like.

It feels like, it feels like, you know, you're telling your wife like hypothetically. Right now, I didn't sleep around on you, but let's just say I might've. Or it was not a crime.

Or it was not cheating. Let's just say I, I, you know, just, just for, just for shits to go, let's say I did.

Well, what would your reaction be? Like, how would you react to that? This is even like, this is more like, look, that chick did not suck my dick. But if she did, Oral is not cheating. Oral isn't cheating.

It didn't happen. But if it did happen, it doesn't count. And I didn't finish it or I finished it on her face. Right, so that's a different thing. That is totally different. It only counts, yeah. Totally different. It only counts if you make it in the goal. It's fucking crazy. That's what I mean when I said before,

I feel like I'm a crazy person sometimes. And the best part about this is that he's just like, he's telling Jeff Sessions, who's already recused himself, to try to do something. It's like the recusal hokey pokey. You put your recusal in, you put your recusal out,

you put your collusion in, and you shake it all about it. It's also like he was bitching like, well, if I'd known he was going to recuse himself, I wouldn't have hired him. It's like, you said that out loud. They're actually saying, again, some of these things are very damning. To say things like that. When he said that, I you said that out loud actually saying like like again like some of these things

are very damning to say things when he said that i was like out loud yeah you shouldn't i would tell him to keep that to himself and i want to see him impeached you know what's really interesting about this whole thing is that these comments he's his boss, okay? He doesn't have to say anything about this on Twitter. He could just fire him. He could just tell him he stepped down. He can do things behind closed doors to get Jeff to step down or to fire him. You know, he can do those.

He can fire him right now. He can fire him right now if he wants. But he's doing this on Twitter. And it's so he can always constantly appear like the underdog. So he can always whip up these people who think there's a deep state. He's doing it on Twitter for a reason. And the reason is so that he can, he can have this,

you know, he can do it behind closed doors. He has that power to do it behind closed doors, but he's doing it out in the open. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a reason he's doing that. Well, I think, I think part of it is he, I think there's a recognition that if he fires Mueller, that's, that's pretty damning.

That's politically very troublesome. Absolutely. So, so what he's doing is the next better thing. And it's not the next, it's the next better thing, which is to discredit the possibility of Mueller finding anything true. Yeah. Right. So it doesn't matter what Mueller finds if his base doesn't believe it. And it doesn't matter what Mueller finds if the Republicans won't act on it and impeach him.

Yeah. So as long as he can control the narrative before the narrative is told, then it actually makes no difference. This is smarter than getting rid of him. Because if it comes out and then it blows up and then nothing happens, he can basically go back to that, I could shoot somebody on

Fifth Avenue and you guys would still like, look, I could collude with the Russians and you guys still love me. No collusion would wouldn't. Well, he's basically, you know, in these, he's talking about Sessions. He can fire Sessions too. Of course he can. He can fire whoever he wants in this entire chain.

He can get rid of any of those people. And so, you know, the part of me wonders though too is like, this is an opportunity for him to, you know, not only win his base over through these tweets and make it seem like he's this embattled president who's constantly dealing with all this bullshit, garbage investigation that has no

basis in reality, even though there's been over a dozen indictments and there's been a bunch of people. There's currently a guy on trial that does some crazy damning shit that's happening about, you know, with Manafort. So you have, you know,

even though that very true reality is happening right before their eyes, they're not willing to see it. You also have an opportunity for him to hand wave this shit away and be like, well, it's just a tweet. Right. It's just a tweet.

Because now that's, because just is how we treat this stuff. I don't think so. I think in the future, we're not going to treat it. I don't think, I don't think so. I think in the future, we're not going to treat it. I think so too. I think, I think this is setting a precedent that in the future,

I think to be honest, this may be the one thing that really takes him down. It'd be, it'll be very ironic if what takes him down are the porn stars and the playboy bunnies that he paid to have sex with or paid to be quiet after he had sex with them. And the, I bet they were quiet while he was having sex with them. They're probably sobbing slightly, but,

but you know, those are the things that's going to be a really interesting thing to happen in our history. If that's what takes him down, you know, there's another part of me too. And this goes back to the Q thing. When you see how people are so rabidly defending him

and, you know, that sort of thing. This would be, if he did, let's say, you know, he gets impeached or whatever happens, you know, like, let's say he gets impeached. It'll be really interesting to see the public's reaction because I feel like there's going to be a large sector of the population

who doesn't think that it's... Legit. Legit. Yeah. I think there might be some serious civil unrest, civil, more than civil unrest. I mean, I think there are, there are serious conversations being had now in, that I read this week in legitimate publications that are not crazy talking about like, you know, is the stage being set for something approaching another civil war? Yeah.

And I don't know that we're there yet, but I don't know that large scale civil unrest is impossible. Right. Sure. You know, I think that that is possible. Absolutely. I'll be perfectly honest. I think the worst thing that could happen is him being put up on trial and

being impeached. I think he should be let to run his term out just, and just, and, and then there should just be an election and that's how it should work. I, I, I agree with you in the sense that like,

that's the best solution for the country is he just, he gets stymied at every attempt to accomplish anything. I hope that there's a huge blue wave. They're saying, they're saying at this point, you know, clearly that should not be, you know, reading a story that says there's going to be a blue wave should not be you sitting on your laurels. Everybody should get out and vote. Everybody should get out and make sure that their voice is heard. And, you know, make sure that, you know, that, that.

I don't understand anybody that doesn't vote right now. Yeah. But in any case, in any case, they're saying that all, all signs are pointing to a blue wave, a big blue wave, a really big one. That's going to come in, in this upcoming, in this upcoming election season,

which will probably flip a lot of seats, change a lot of the, the, the landscape and really could slow down government for the next several, several years. The best that could happen is nothing. And it's, it really is what they were shooting for with Obama,

right? It's what they were shooting for with Obama was let's just deadlock this fucker. This guy's too dangerous for me. I said, who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. So the story I wanted is from the friendly atheist. And I want to talk about this because it's just so self-evident. Catholic nuns are speaking out about their own abuse at the hands of priests. And when I read this story, you know, my very first thought was, yeah, this is an organization that can't agree to protect children.

Sure. How the fuck are they going to protect grown women? Well, maybe the problem was in their bylaws. Maybe what it said is something like, we're going to limit your sex to none. And they're just like, oh, great. We got a bunch of those. They're in the back, right?

No worries. That was a good joke. I will say this, though, too. It sort of matches to none. It sort of matches, to be really honest, it sort of matches how I i see priests because i used to work for priests yeah and they their whole life is taken care of for them right they they're very pampered they don't they don't think about sort of the day-to-day stuff that you have to do to live

they everything's taken care of for them you know and so that it doesn't like that that concept of like we've provided a you know yeah here's a nun for your service here's a thing for you here's something for you it'd be like if they left a flashlight on your bed it's the same thing okay father we've we've turned down the bed yeah and we've left you a little something on the pillow oh is it a mint oh it's not a mint it's not a no no. No, it's a nun. That's the joke. It's a nun. But yeah, they can't even protect their... They can't protect other people's kids.

This is an organization that does not give a shit about the sexual abuses of its clergy. And they're like... The idea that anybody would be surprised... The only surprise here is that like... Because they're talking about a nun version of Me Too. Me Too, yeah.

You know? And it's like, yeah, I... Wow. Yeah. Like, at some point, like, the organization has shown itself to be so indifferent

to the sexual suffering of other people. And also, let's just say misogynist. Can we just say that? Yeah. Like, I mean, like, women in that religion are not allowed to...

They're not equal to priests. Priests are priests. Not even close. They can't do, they can't do the same things that priests do. They can't perform the sacraments. They can't rape kids like priests can. But they can beat them with rulers and shit, right? They can do that.

I know they can do that. They can frustratedly beat them as they want. There's also. I haven't had an orgasm in 36 years, you little fucker. It's so mad. I haven't had an orgasm in 36 years, you little fucker! It's so mad. But they're seriously like, they also just, they have this, they just treat women, and look at how they treat reproductive issues.

You know what I mean? It's just a misogynist organization. Let's just call it what it is. There's nothing gender progressive about the catholic church so the idea that there would be some safe place in the catholic church that these women could go to is absurd in itself right there's no safe place for the kids to go there's no glue that they can touch and not get fucked well it's like i'm on glue you can't rape me right now i'm on glue you have to say ollie olly oxen free before you fuck me.

Why did you rape her? It's just a habit. Yeah, it's just... That's so bad. That's awesome. I love it. I don't know exactly what it is or what it's doing, but this is not human intelligence, okay?

It's not human intelligence. Oh, this is amazing. This is right wing watch. Alex Jones travels the spectrum of human emotions over Spotify boycotts. I have to say, like, I do think that we might see the total implosion of the info wars empire thing.

You were saying like that, that he's now being sued. He's in suit. They're trying the case currently. It's not just in the works and going to sit and languish forever. Some of the Sandy Hook parents have banded together and they're like,

we are going to eat you. I can't say enough good things about that, though. I'll be perfectly blunt. You know I don't advocate violence and I don't advocate this good things about that, though. I'll be perfectly blunt, and you know I don't advocate violence, and I don't advocate this, but I would not be surprised, nor would I in Vince any sorrow if one of those parents just fucking shot this guy. I'm sorry. They shouldn't do it.

Don't do it. I'm not saying do it. But I'm surprised that it hasn't happened. You wouldn't wear a shocked face. Right. I wouldn't be like, well, how could that have happened? I'd be like,

what could he have possibly done? Right. Like this is, he's saying the most monstrous, vile shit about those people. Yeah. Just to say things like, you're a liar about your own,

the death of your own child. Yeah. That's a monstrous, horrible, shitty thing to do. And so the very fact that he's, he's getting run over the ringer for child. That's a monstrous, horrible, shitty thing to do. And so the very fact that he's getting run over the ringer for this, I'm like, absolutely, man. He said vile, awful shit.

Yeah, and he's saying like it's protected under his free speech. And it's like, it is protected under your free speech in the sense that the government cannot step in and stop you. That does not change whether it's defamatory. That would be awesome if it's your defense and within first 15 seconds the judge is like, yeah, that's not a...

Right. Yeah. No. Next, what else you got? Is that what we're doing here? Because if that's what you wrote in your answer, then I'm just...

Yeah, I just... I guess we're just going to let... There's not enough puffy paint in the world to make me believe this book report. I don't even know what to say at this point.

Because I... That's Podesta. He's showing an image of Podesta and Hillary Clinton, by the way. And a really awkward, weird, like, chin sunken into her face.

Like, she's moving her head out of the way to maybe give him a kiss on the cheek and she looks like she's having an ermogad. Like, they find these terrible

photos of all these people. I love it. I love because these are the most photographed people in the world. They're so poised so much. Then they're just like burp or so. They just move their body. It's like, I captured you in a millisecond

where you look like you're covered in centipedes or whatever. It's so great. I've run my course, not body's like, I captured you in a millisecond where you look like you're covered in centipedes or whatever. Exactly. It's so great. I've run my course, not with the censorship and the attacks, but I just belong to some other age, I guess. The stone one? I think the stone one.

Stone age? Iron age? Bronze age? Because there isn't any immediacy. There isn't any concern. There's just kind of jellyfish brain. You know what? You listen to this guy's voice. I do.

And I know that my voice sounds deeper in my head than when I hear it on here. I always like, I'm like, geez, I'm squeaky as fuck when I hear myself talk. But how deep does his voice sound in his head? Can he hear his own voice? He probably sounds like a diggory dude. Everything I say sounds like the fucking explosion of Krakatoa.

Everything you say sounds like fucking that guy from Inspector Gadget. I'll get you next time. Everybody's that guy. I speak only in landslides. Sounds like froggy from The Little Grass Clubs. Hey guys, how you doing?

I used to have such strong hands. Our initiatives mean nothing. We have totally legal censorship going on. We have them bragging about it. We have them dead to rights. No one will attack. He's looking around his office as if someone is going to jump out and save him.

I think he's talking about him getting taken down from YouTube and Spotify and Facebook. Basically, people are just saying, we're just going to take your shit down. And the thing is, they're not even removing all of his content. It's selective when that one video

violates his services. He can get around this. All he has to do is post all this content on his own website with his own... Well, yeah. And the reason why he's not going to do that, the reason why he doesn't want to do that is because he's going to lose a ton of people who won't go to his site just to see this shit.

They go to YouTube to find it. But that's not censorship. That's the thing that makes me crazy. That'd be like if somebody were like, we're going to take your shit off iTunes, be like, okay, we might lose a lot of listeners from that, but we can still do what we were doing.

Right. It's like saying like, I'm going to have a hundred people over to my house next week. Come over to my house and stand on this soapbox and yell about stuff. But you can't yell about like,

hating black dudes. Because if you do that, I'm going to kick out of my house. Now you can still go back to your house and yell about hating black dudes. Yeah. But do that, I'm going to kick you out of my house. Now, you can still go back to your house and yell about hating black dudes, but there's no one at your house because your house sucks. And it's like if you come over and you yell about fucking hating black dudes

and I kick you out of my party, I didn't censor you. I just knell out of my house. I just disinvited you. And that's what they did to his videos. They disinvited them. And then I've been totally shut down because we're writing reports and getting it to Congress and they're beginning to act. I'm not that damn smart. You know how easy this is? Jesus. But no one wants to do it. No one has the instinct or the will to execute anything real.

He's losing his shit right now. I got to watch pogo stick? I got to watch him do this again. Oh my God. Let's watch this again. The courts are getting it to Congress and they're beginning to act. I'm not that damn smart. You know how easy this is? Jesus.

But no one wants to do it. No one has the instinct or the will to execute anything real. He looks so crazy with his crazy eye right now. Does he? He looks like he got punched.

So what it looks like when he looks straight ahead, it looks like one of his eyes is a little more closed than the other? Because when he looks towards you, Tom, when he looks to his left, the eye you can see the white. But when he looks straight ahead, it looks like it's full of blood.

I think it is. I think he's got a swollen, shitty, fucked up eye. And he looks like somebody fucking took one to him. It does look like somebody took a swing at him. Over and over and over again. Forgetting the failure. Forgetting it. As the public begins to look like servile hippopotamuses.

Wait, what? Wait, wait, wait. Whoa. Come on. Servile hippopotamuses? You know hippos. They'll be like, hey, can I get you a on. Servile hippopotamuses? You know hippos. They'll be like, hey, can I get you a cup of coffee? Is there any way I could walk really far underwater for you if you want?

Hippos are so servile. Come on. Of all the animals. Of all the animals. And the animal kingdom to choose. They are the most servile. Yes. That's how most people familiar with the hippo would describe them.

They bite you and have to like, you don't mind if I do this. I'll bring you a spot of tea and then I will thrash you. I was trying to think of funny stuff hippos do, but they're boring. They're a boring animal. Hippos only do three things. They eat, they fuck, and then they are responsible for more deaths in Africa than any other animal. The least survival animal. It's a worst example.

Potamized. And you're like, oh, well, just join the establishment. It sees the... And then, oh, the establishment's feeding on the subhumans. Oh, let me look at this.

The establishment are like a bunch of craved vampires on PCP. I sure as hell don't... What is he talking about? I don't even know what he's talking about. Play that old thing again. I can't... It was amazing. What is he... Go from hippos't even know what he's talking about. Play that whole thing again.

It was amazing. What is he... Go from hippos forward. Failure, but getting it as the public begins to look like servile hippopotamuses. Lobotomized. And you're like,

oh, we'll just join the establishment. It sees the... And then, oh, the establishment's feeding on... It sees the what? Well, no, but he started out with lobotomized and then he switched to and then it sees the establishment's feeding on... It sees the what? Well, no, but he started out with lobotomized, and then he switched to, and then it sees the establishment,

and then he stops in the middle. He shifts course like a servile hippo in the middle of this. What? The subhumans? Oh, let me look at this. The establishment are like a bunch of craved vampires on PCP. I sure as hell don't want to join them.

Well, I do. That sounds amazing. That does sound. By the way, I saw Blade. That's baller. I saw Blade and that party with the blood coming down and the butcher show. Amazing. I would. Amazing. I would rip that thing a half. That would be phenomenal. Oh my gosh.

They're playing that song and they're like all dancing. Their light switch raving. That would be phenomenal. Oh my gosh. They're playing that ca-ca-ca-choo-coo-ca-ca-choo-coo song and they're like all dancing. Their light switch raving. Yeah, their light switch raving. It's fucking amazing. We're going to go down the tubes because a bunch of inbred

child molesters in Hollywood had some psychotic dream that they wanted to kill everybody. And so we all just rolled over by peer pressure and gave into it and never executed anything real, never did anything real, never took action when all the tools were right there in our hands because we weren't meant

to we couldn't do it we didn't want it you've betrayed your birthright to your family now now he's reflecting on his divorce oh my god my fucking favorite thing in the world is the fake affected man cry. He looks like every time he does it too, because he recovers so quickly. You're just like, you're faking it. That's what I mean. It's that it's,

it's the manipulative man cry. Yeah. You're just, you're just, it's just a, yeah, exactly. It's like totally manipulative.

Everything people did for you. Yeah. You're going to hear it in the voice. Yeah. It's the same voice for every liar ever. Exactly. It's the same voice. He's trying to squeak it out. This is what it sounds like

when I give my father's eulogy. Like, come the fuck on. You piss on it and you shit on it and you think you're strong because you did something bad. Wait, what? I don't know what he's talking about. I think I'm strong

because I did something bad? You piss on it and you shit on it and you think you're strong because you did something bad. I'm getting that as a tattoo on my back. This man's a poet.

That's a ball sack tattoo. That's what that is. When I get my ball sack tattoo... If you're going to do something bad, you might as well get a ball tattoo. I mean, you got to get one, right? Everyone gets one when they're 45. You got yours, right? There's a TV show in Britain

that they show on, I don't know if you saw, but Joel McHale has a show on Netflix. So Netflix has a Joel McHale show. Is it good? It's like the soup. It's funny sometimes. It's not always funny. It doesn't have a good editor. So sometimes there's like one skit that they keep doing that is really not funny. It's

like their producer comes out and it's just genuinely not funny. But there are some very funny, genuinely funny moments. In this show, they show some British shows. And there's a show in Britain where you and I go to this thing and then I pick your tattoo. And you pick my tattoo. And people do crazy shit. Like, one guy had it, and they pull the blindfold. You don't

get to see him doing it either. So like, do they pick the place too? Do I pick the place on you? Yeah, you pick the place and the thing. And so you get a blindfold. And I have no idea what the show is called, but I'll get a blindfold. They'll tattoo me. And then when they're finished, they take the blindfold off and they put me in front of a mirror and I get to see it. And this one guy tattooed on his friend, on his belly button,

a woman bending over and that was her asshole. It's really actually funny. And then another person had another one, these two girls went and one of them tattooed on them. I guess one day this woman had to go to the bathroom and she couldn't hold it and she shit outside. And so she tattooed the girl taking a dump with poo coming out of her butt. And it's on her back now. Like really big. Like small. Why would anyone be on this show?

I have no idea. It's crazy to me. How much money do you get for being on this show? I don't know what it's called, but they play it on the Joe McHale show on Netflix. And every time it comes on, I'm always just like, this is insanity. I don't care if they were to give me gobs of money either. Could you imagine taking your shirt off and seeing the girl with her asshole? And you could finger her asshole, though.

I mean, can you imagine? I can't even imagine that. There's no, what sum of money is like, yeah, okay. That's a lot of money. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's more than a TV show would give you. That's for damn sure.

No, I mean like it's because whatever that sum of money is, it has to, it has to factor in the cost of that laser tattoo. Exactly right. Yeah. The first thing you do is you buy six shirts that laser tattoo. Exactly right. Yeah. The first thing you do is you buy six shirts that you wear at all times. Yeah.

Right. And then you just go to this guy and be like, can you just, can you just cheese grate this off here? You're just like, I am sleeping in your office until this is gone.

I know it takes months. I live here now. I'm not going anywhere. Yeah. This is it. I'm just going to be doing Skype calls from here on. Right.

Yeah. That's it. You think you're strong because you did something bad and then you sit there when we're two inches away from collapsing like venezuela there'll be death in the streets millions starve to death it'll never be on the news there are millions of people starving in the streets who would care if it was on the news? You would just go to the street. I mean, like, I don't need what? What the fuck? I might be one of the starving

people. I would be like, I don't know if I'm starving unless I watch it on CNN. I report on CNN. I just opened my window. There's 10,000 people. Hang on, Cecil. I can't hear you. Wolf Blitzer is calling to tell me I'm hungry. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. All right. This story is from the New York times. I laughed until I cried reading it.

Trump says you need an ID to buy groceries. This is like one of those, like I'm so rich. I don't understand how the world works for regular people. And like, let's just make sure that like, it's not taken out of context. Here's what he said. You know, Mr. Trump knowingly told the approving crowd, if you go out and you want to buy groceries, you need a picture on a card. You need ID. And that is not the case. You can just have money. You know what's amazing? This is him telling his story where he's just like,

so then I get into my automobile. And I engage the drive shaft. Drive it down to a grocery store. Then I presumably get out of the grocery mobile. And then I have sometimes a hard time fitting inside the cart. And then I, I get a basket cart. I get a cart.

I get a cart. It's like, he's playing. It's like, he's getting, he's being tested on this, like orally tested. Right.

It, what it is is like, it, it's, it's playing. It's like he's getting, he's being tested on this, like orally tested. Right. It, what it is is like, it, it's, it's one of those moments where it's like, okay, how I know how this works.

Yeah. I'll, I'll relay a story. Men, you may remember this many years ago. I used to have to go to a work function and part of that work function required me to play poker. Do you remember this? Yeah.

Yeah. And I don't like, I hate any kind of forced corporate fun. As soon as I have to have corporate fun, I'm just, I'm in an awful mood. It's not to say you don't like poker. It's just that you don't want to have to do it with these guys. I don't. Yeah. And so I had never played poker before and I did not know how to play poker. And it was made clear to me that I was going to have to sit up all night and drink and smoke and play poker. And it was made clear to me that I was going to have to sit up all night and drink and smoke and play poker. This was just how this night was going to go. You have to go whether you

like it or not. So, okay, fine. So I listened to a podcast on the way up on how to play poker. And then I stood around the table buying people drinks for about an hour, watching everybody play poker. And then I was like Trump at the grocery store when I got dealt in. I'm like looking around for signs of subtle approval. Am I dealing in the right direction? Oh, nobody said anything. Great. It goes right to left in this game.

And then it's like, you're the big blind. Okay, that means pause, think, look, watch somebody reach. You know what I mean? It's like you're doing that thing where you're looking for cues because you're the fucking odd man out. You're a space alien trying to's like you're doing that thing where you're looking for cues because you're the fucking odd man out. You're a space alien trying to pretend that you're a human

being. You're like, do the arms go like this? It's like I've been there. Right. From Men in Black. And we've all had situations like that. There's nothing more analogous to Trump than that. A cockroach in a

human body. Exactly. But the funniest thing is there's a video of him shopping at a grocery store and people that know him are like, he's never been to a grocery store. Why would he? Here's the thing. Shopping's annoying. If I

could pay another human being to do it and I had the money to do that all the time, I would do it all the time. On occasion, I do with Peap it we we shop exclusively through people that's just because i don't like it either yeah if i was a billionaire i would have somebody naked shopping for me just i would just pay the extra like shop naked because it amuses me i used to do peapod in chicago because going in chicago just going out shopping is just a pain in the ass. And I like unlike you where you could just pull into your driveway and walk in with your bags. I got to walk a block with the groceries anyway, regardless, right?

Because I parked down the block. So just trying to get groceries is a pain in the ass all the time. It sucks. I now shop out in the suburbs because the prices are so cheap. Oh, my God. I'm embarrassed. But, you know, it's funny because it's like,

like shopping is a hassle and I could understand someone being like, yeah, I don't shop. I never shopped. No, I was a billionaire. If I was a billionaire, I'd never fucking even think.

I would never think about what goes into my body. Just things would happen and I'd be like, that's in there now. Who cares? There would be a person to cook, prepare, prepare buy wash my pillows yeah

i would live in a hotel basically that's what he does yeah i know he's got a whole brand right based on that that's what he would do but instead he's like uh hey fellow kids i know what it's like to be a kid yeah it's the same thing it's the same thing any of you kids know where i could get the reefers he He's in the grocery store. There's a video. He's in a full suit and tie and everything with all these other dudes in suits and ties standing around a grocery store. I've never been in one ever.

This is novel. This is where the plebs get their food. So what, did somebody come out and just throw it at him? How does that work? This says refried beans. How many times can you fry a bean? We're going to need an expert.

He's holding a can of some food. Yeah, it's like Campbell's or something. It is amazing because the article even says he's holding it. What does it say? He's marveling at it. And we clicked on it. He's seriously looking at this thing like, food in a can while we live in a magical age.

What are they going to think of next? What do you think? Food in a can tonight? You can put up corns in here. It's fucking unbelievable. It's so funny. It's the most out of touch shit you could possibly imagine. But it's our fault.

You know that that's our fault because of our insistence that we hire somebody who's like us. They gotta be relatable. It's gotta be somebody you wanna have a beer with. How is he not relatable though? But that's that moment. He's trying to be relatable. He's just failing so delightfully miserably. Right. I guess that's true. But there was that

idea with Bush too. With Bush where he's like, yeah, he's a guy I could have a beer with. He's a fella guy I could just have a beer with. Jesus. It's amazing. It really is amazing. If you guys get a chance to watch the video of him looking at a can of food. Or giving the thumbs up while he's pushing his cart around,

you have to do it. Wheels on a cart. So we want to thank our newest patrons. Of course, we want to thank our newest patrons of course we want to thank all our patrons we want to thank our newest patrons sawyer paul james ben and jesse thanks so much for your generous donations you guys are the reason glory hole studios exists if you want to become a patron on a per episode basis you go to dissonancepod.com there's a button right there you can become a patron we are hopefully going to be starting to do some more patron only stuff in the future. We did a discord thing recently where we broadcast directly on discord and that turned out to be a lot of fun. Um, we recorded it and we

posted it just for patrons. It was a pastor Manning bit we had done. This was relatively recently. We're hoping to do another one soon. We still have the citation needed live show that's coming up. It's actually going to be coming up this week. So we're quite busy with that. But once that's over, we're going to be doing, definitely doing another Discord thing. We might be doing a whole patron-only show soon.

So if you want to become a patron, you can get access to all our old patron-only shows too. Just go to distancebod.com and you can become a patron today. So this message is from Mosh and Mosh sent in a call to prayer. That's a new take.

me knowing you. We just have to face it this time. We just have to face it this time. That's a totally different take. I don't know that I've ever heard anybody do that particular thing. No, that was a good one. That was really innovative. And that was from Dubai. Yeah.

So we will mourn your passing. Don't, just hide from everyone. Don't. Get in your bunker. Delete your computer. We got a message from James from the UK and he sent this in. It's an image. It's so good.

Jesus image. We're going to post it on this week's show notes. This is episode 427. Oh my God. This isn't a call to prayer. This is just a clip, a bumper possibly to use with Dave Dobbenmeier. This is from Jeff.

Jesus Christ. Jesus. That is something else. This is our life now, Cecil. Something else, Jeff. So, Tom, there's a correction, a slight correction from Adam. Yeah, Adam, we were joking about Babylonianized and Judaized. Evidently that's a thing. So, Judaized

is talking about a group of people in the New Testament who want the Christians to follow Jewish customs. And Babylonianized is a period in the book of Daniel where the Babylonians took the Jews into captivity and then basically inundated them with Babylonian customs and lifestyle so as to lessen the importance

of Judaism in their lives. Alright, that's a thing. So we were mocking it, but it's a thing. Thank you very much, Adam. We also got another slight correction. This is from Chuck, and Chuck was saying you can't just

shut off the internet, but one of the things you can do especially if you're a totalitarian government is disable ISPs. And if you do that, and you can also censor. Another thing that you can do is censor internet that people are allowed to access. China does that. So, yeah. So there's a, there is, there is something to be said. We were, we were joking around about, you know, the, someone turning off the internet, but there are ways to manipulate the internet you get. Sure. This is a call to prayer. This is from Aubrey.

Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Knock, knock. Who's there? Let me tell you a little story about a man named even before you start. I love it. A little Dr. Evil going on there. Great stuff.

Huge fan of that movie, I am. Huge fan. Seen it. Ones of times. Ones of times. We got two calls of prayer from Zach. Ah, the Wilhelm scream. I love it.

There's another one too. A little song by Coolio, you may recognize. I embarrassingly like that song. That song's a good song. It's fun. We got a message from someone who left a very long sort of of voicemail for us but it was it was sent via email i want to say i want to say look i'm happy to play people's stuff i'm happy to play especially things that that are something like a voicemail um i'm more than happy to play them if they're sent like as uh voice memos to us via email,

because sometimes those are much better and much easier to hear and understand than the voice message that we allow listeners to leave voice messages on. What I can't do is give you more than about a minute. So if you're ever thinking, you know, I want to call the show and I want to talk about something, be concise, be fast and keep it under a minute and chances are I'll play it. But if you wander into, even I don't care how good it is, if you wander into the minute and a half,

two minute territory, I just can't dedicate that much time on the show for it. So if you want to leave us a message and you want to send us a message, we'll happily play anything, you know, a lot of the things that you want to leave us.

You just got to make sure that they're short, punchy, and to the point. And we will get two, three-minute messages. Some people will leave a three-minute message followed by a three-minute message

followed by a three-minute message. It's never going to happen. The most that we can record on the voicemail is a three minutes. And we'll get nine straight minutes of someone telling us stuff. I can't use any of that.

We got a message. This is from Adam. And Adam sent along two videos. We were talking about the privileged middle-class people complaining through the apocalypse, and it reminded him of Catherine Tate sketches. So we're going to post two of these Catherine Tate sketches to our episode. This time it's 427. We got another slight correction last time. We mentioned the Fairness Doctrine, but there was also two separate rules. This is from Keith,

and Keith says that there was the Fairness Doctrine and the Equal Time Rule, and the Fairness Doctrine was indeed revoked by Reagan in the Reagan era, but it's doubtful it'll be useful were it still around today as it only covered broadcast stations and not cable networks.

So that's very interesting. Thanks for the correction, Keith. Yeah, thank you. Got a call to prayer. Now, this one was submitted, but I think I missed it last time. Maybe they missed the boat in December or I missed it last time, but this is a call to prayer from Justin. Making you wonder if the ride is worth the pain. He's just waiting on your heart to say, let me ride on that long black horse. The payoff in that one is painfully near the end

of some really bad music. So we got a message from Danny, Tom. We did. And Danny sent us a very long email about the difficulty of getting medications in a world where the opioid crisis is being treated like a war against patients. And we just want to shout you out, Danny. So thanks for listening. Glad to have you. Keep listening. Keep your chin up. And we hope want to shout you out, Danny. So thanks for listening. Glad to have you. Keep listening.

Keep your chin up. And we hope everything turns out good for you. Got a message from Nick. This is a call to prayer. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Yeah, man. Yep. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, It does sound like that generic punk sound. It sounds similar. This is another one from Mosh. Mosh sent in another one.

This is a call to prayer. I like this one. Nice. I like this one. That's clever. I like that one. That's a great one. That was cleverly done. That's a that one. That's a great one. That was cleverly done.

That's a good one. We wanted to mention, we had Chris Matheson on. He did the Trouble with God, a new book that just came out recently. That's now available on Audible. We wanted to mention it because we just had him on very recently. So if you're looking to listen to that book rather than read it, you can find it on Audible now. We got three calls to prayer from Garrett.

So I'm going to play all three of them. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar Allah comes back at the end there nice nice I like this one. Oh, we've been going gone for a long time. That's good. Good stuff. Last one.

Oh my God, Becky, look at her. That's, I like that. I like that one a lot. So that's going to wrap it up for this time. It's our hope to have someone in studio next time. Maybe the Puzzle and the Thunderstorm, a couple of the Puzzle and the Thunderstorm guys will see if that comes to fruition.

We're going to be doing a live show next week. We're going to be very busy, but hopefully we can have a chance to do that with them. They'll be a lot of fun. But that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. free energy healing, water downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info

docutainment, Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this.

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