Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 435: Cancer Hammer

Episode Date: September 24, 2018

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This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at this episode 435 of Cognitive Dissonance. See, so I'm thinking about changing up the intro a little bit.

I read it the same way I read it. I just say it the same way, the same intonation every time. I think I'm going to have to make some adjustments to the tone, the cadence. Maybe we could just record it though, Tom. And then just play it? And then I could just put it in as a bumper. That's possible. I wouldn't fuck it up as bad if you did that.

I could. I mean, it's going to be exactly the same. What I could also do though too is just have you say a few numbers and I'll be like, this is four, three, seven. That would actually be really funny. I could just do it that way too.

That would actually be really funny because I was thinking like, seven. It's exactly, it's robotically identical. Every single time. Right. Recorder, change it.

I don't know. Should we change the intro? I don't think so. I don't think we can change the intro now. After 435, is it part of our brand name at this point? If we do, we'll have to pay it alimony. Oh, guy. All right. We're keeping the intro. Look at the profile picture. We're going to be talking

about Kavanaugh here to start out, but look at the profile picture of Kavanaugh. Doesn't he look like the guy if you're going to get somebody to play him in the movie? It's the guy from Ozarks. Bateman? Yeah, he does look like Bateman. Doesn't he look like Bateman from the side? He looks like Bateman with terrible posture.

Doesn't he look like Bateman but his posture is like slumped forward. His neck is like, it's trying to go into his body. There is no neck in this picture. And his like head is like 18 inches forward of his back shoulders. Like he looks like, he's like, making bad decisions weighs on me so heavily. I have to put them all on my shoulders. So this is, this is from the New York Times. Christine Blasey, Blasey?

I don't know how it's pronounced. Christine Blasey Ford opens negotiations on testimony next week. Now, Christine Blasey Ford is the woman who is accusing Kavanaugh of having sexually assaulted her when she was in high school. She's about 15 years old.

I think he was 17 years old at the time the incident back in the 1980s, 82, I think is said to have occurred. So bottom line here is this sexual assault accusation, the way that this is being handled is really kind of a two camps sort of thing, right? You got the camp that says, well, this is a serious accusation and we should look into this. We should find out, you know, what are the teeth behind this

and how does this affect whether or not we want to vote for this guy to be the fucking supreme arbiter of justice. Let's put them into the good people category. Okay. That's one way to classify that. Good people think. Maybe we should put the brakes on it.

I wasn't trying to connotate this. Maybe we should put the brakes on it. I wasn't trying to connotate this. Maybe we should put the brakes on it just for a little while. What do the other people think, Tom? Well, it's... Let me try to summarize that position. Who cares the end? I think that's pretty much a good summary.

Now, there's a little more nuance to it in the sense that they're justifying their who cares the end attitude. And some of the arguments are like that some of the religious leaders, Franklin Graham, basically came out and was like, look, if it happened at all, it happened in high school. And are we going to, and Franklin Graham is one of the nation's preeminent religious and moral leaders, right? I saw a tweet this week and it was from a high school student and it said, as a high school student, all this dismissing of sexual assault

during high school is very unsettling. Yeah, right? Part of it is that like boys will be boys kind of mentality. So it's like, what are we going to do? Hold people accountable for things they did in their past?

Boys will be rapists, guys. Come on now. I will's like, what are we going to do? Hold people accountable for things they did in their past? Boys will be rapists, guys. Come on now. I will say, you can hold me accountable. I am happily held accountable. And it doesn't matter how many years you go back because I don't sexually assault people. See, that's it. So it's easy.

If that's a skeleton in your closet, nobody's saying to try this guy. I want to be clear about that. Nobody's saying this happened in high school. He's a 50-year-old or 6-year-old guy. Let's haul him into court. There's no suggestion of that. The suggestion is, should we

consider this when debating whether or not he should become one of the nine arbiters of supreme justice? Should he be coronated? Right. For life. Yeah. Should the next generation of Americans be saddled with a portion of his decision making?

Yeah. Does this affect his moral character? And that's actually a question I want to talk to you about. Does this affect his moral character? And that's actually a question I want to talk to you about. I don't know necessarily that we are the same people we were in high school, right? We talk about like rehabilitation. Absolutely, yeah. Right?

I know I'm not. I know I'm very different. Right. So I am not 100%, and this may be somewhat controversial. Please don't send me messages saying that I'm supporting sexual assault. I'm not supporting sexual assault. But I do think it's an interesting question to raise. Like, we have to consider who somebody is,

what their life path has gone, if they've committed, if they've done things that have been morally reprehensible. And I don't want to mince words. Sexual assault is morally reprehensible. If you've done something that's morally reprehensible in your past, how long does that sort of live in your moral wheelhouse? I can answer that right now. Yeah. I can answer that question. I want to know. Yeah. So it lives in your moral wheelhouse as long as you got away with it.

See, and I feel similarly, right? I think if you walked away scot-free, went to a nice private school somewhere, got yourself a nice fancy law degree, and then you wound up becoming a federal judge that's been appointed for life. And now you're on the fucking Supreme court, first fucking pick first draft pick for the Supreme court. And you're being sworn, getting ready to be sworn in as fast as they can get you through the revolving goddamn door, I think it matters. I think it very much matters. I think now if that person did that when they were 18, they served time for an attempted rape. They came out, they were sorry for their actions. I think that person is a very different person. And I would respect that person in a very much

deeper respect for that person than I ever would for the guy who got away with it. Right. This is a big deal. I don't know what kind of big deal this is in other countries, right? I don't know. I don't know what the judicious judicial branch of those countries. I don't know how it interacts with the other branches of government in those countries, if they even have those branches. Right. But understand it's literally one of the three legs we stand on and it could very well be the most powerful. Now it's not the most active. It's a, it's powerful in a passive way. Things have to come to it and has to make those decisions, but it is very powerful in a passive way. Very, very powerful. Could be, like I said, the most powerful because it can overrule the other two.

It can make decisions overruling the other two. So it's a very powerful position. And you're one of nine people who get to do that. It can set rules that govern how we set the rules. Yeah. Think about that. It isn't the card you pick up in community chess. It defines whether or not there is community chess. Yeah. Yeah. Right. That's huge. It changes the way we play our game. Yeah, and the way what's happening now is there's almost this feeling like

one side is tapping their foot like, come on, are we really doing this? Come on. We're expected that this guy already got the job. He's applying for the job. It's not, and there's a whole group of people, you know, I don't care that you're going to win by one vote, like automatically, right?

I don't care that that's the case. There's still 49 other people that are there. You know, I think it's something like that. It's close to that, right? That are going to say no. And so we are just only placating the majority then just to sort of fast track this. It's outrageous.

Either we have a process or we should not have the process. If the process is a bullshit rubber stamp circus sideshow, cut it out. Let's not have it. Let's not have our fucking dog and pony show for no reason.

So we get to make, we should really, I agree with you, we should make a decision. Like, do we have a dog and pony show for no reason. So we get to make, we should really, I agree with you. We should make a decision. Like, do we have a dog and pony show? Do we have a process? And I want a process.

Yeah. And what, and what's happening is, you know, they, they keep on trying to, trying to ram at home. They're trying to,

you know, force it on us like Kavanaugh did to that girl, you know, where he's trying to pull her bikini off. But in any case, the story is not a good story. The story is... We should relate the details of the story.

Absolutely, yeah. In this story, he basically gets... He's at a party. He's a teenager. He's 17. She's 15. He gets her in a room at this party, pushes her on the bed,

is grinding up against her, trying to take her clothes off. She tries to scream. He clamps his hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. She's actively struggling to get out from underneath him in the circumstance. He's trying to pull her bikini off. He's trying to take her clothes

off. He's too fucking drunk, I guess, to be able to do it. His buddy jumps on them, I think not to save her from the way the account is. His buddy's drunk too, and it jumps on the, I think, not to save her from the way the account is. His buddy. His buddy's drunk, too. Drunk, too. And it jumps on the two of them, which knocks Kavanaugh off of her.

And she runs into the bedroom or bathroom. She runs into the bathroom. Locks the door. And then eventually flees the house. And just gets out. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not, this is not like a fucking one of those cases where it's like, well, maybe it's a date gone wrong.

No, I mean. Yeah. It's not. He clamped his hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. It's not like a fucking one of those cases where it's like, well, maybe it's a date gone wrong. No, I mean, he clamped his hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming while he was trying to rip her fucking clothes off. It's not a miscommunication on leaning in for a kiss. Right. You know what I mean? Like, it's not that. That's what I'm saying. It's not that.

It's clearly an assault. Yeah. And again, this is presuming that this is true, right? I'm not saying that this is true. All I'm saying is that someone alleges that it's true right now, and we should pay attention to that because we should take this assault account seriously. Yeah. We should take it seriously.

And this woman has had tons of people send her death threats. Unreal. They've had to leave. Not unexpected. They've had to leave her house. As you were saying earlier before we started recording, she didn't even want to come forward. So the timeline on this thing is all, you know, a lot of people are presuming that the timeline on this is all,

oh, well, this is all just a politically expedient moment where we can just throw this out there and try to knock this off course. And that's not the case. Feinstein, I think his name is Feinstein. She had this information in July. She had gotten a message and this person had sent a couple of messages to different Congress people and they also contacted the Washington Post tip line, but didn't want to be out in the limelight. Specifically said they wanted to remain anonymous, but everybody that had this information basically said,

look, an anonymous message like this isn't going to do anything. We need to have something. You have to stand up and accuse the person who assaulted you. We have to see who the accuser is. The public needs to see who the accuser is. The public needs to see who that accuser is. And so, what happened was, is someone else

leaked this information. they doxed her, basically. Yeah, but she didn't want, she didn't want to come out. She might not, this might have just been thrown away

if it wasn't for that person coming out and doxing. Right. And, and then, they have to switch it to this, you know, now they have to switch to,

you know, security or leaving their house. I think they had to put their house up on the market because they were just like getting so many death threats. They were just terrified. People showing up. Yeah. And so they wound up,

they're not in their home. And it's interesting because, all this stuff is going on and they're talking about the FBI possibly having an investigation. talking about the FBI possibly having an investigation. And if the FBI has an investigation, I think that's one of the things that the woman was pushing for.

And it's interesting that the woman who's, who's, you know, that people are saying is lying is pushing for an FBI investigation. Yeah. Right. Cause if I'm lying, I'm not like,

well, let's call in the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Let's call the people who have investigation in their name to investigate this. You know? Like, you would be like,

no, let's just have this in the court of public opinion if it never happened. Right. But instead, this could be a really, I don't know if the FBI is going to investigate it,

but lying to the FBI is a crime. And if they find out somebody lied to the FBI, that's a big deal. Yeah, the stakes are very high. Very, very high. The stakes here are very, very high. I was thinking about this too, and I was like,

it's not unexpected that this woman is being attacked, right? That's actually not unusual for victims of sexual assault to be blamed and further victimized when they come forward. So that's not unexpected, especially when the case is high profile and people have so much of a, you know, horse in this race. Right. But I was thinking about, it's like, what, think about what that message is, right? If I am, if I think that Kavanaugh did assault this woman and I don't care, I still get to vote.

Yes. Make him a Supreme Court justice. Right. If I think he I still have that option. If I'm one of the senators or whatever, I can still if I say, look, this doesn't matter. It was when he was young, whatever. You still vote on that. Yeah, it's OK.

You can still vote on that. Like if you vote, if you have no conscience, you can vote. I have no conscience. You're allowed to do that. Absolutely. What what the upset here really stems from. vote if you have no conscience you can vote i have no conscience you're allowed to do that absolutely what what the upset here really stems from the only way i can read this is i don't want to have to know i don't want to have to know don't tell me because you're no evil see no evil yes yep how fucking cowardly is that oh my gosh that is, I don't want to have to know who

this guy is because what I, what I want is the pragmatic result. And this guy will vote the way I want and need him to vote. So don't tell me things that are true. I don't want to know what's true. That might put me in an awkward position. What I would rather be is a fucking coward. You know, it's interesting too. I was hearing a report today and I couldn't help but laugh. The GOP on their Senate Judiciary Committee, there's no women, right? There's women on the other side. Wait, say that again?

There's no women. The Republicans didn't bring a woman? I know, right? They didn't bring a woman. They brought a knife to this gunfight. And the Republicans didn't bring a woman? I know, right? They didn't bring a woman.

They brought a knife to this gunfight. But what they did was, is they sent out a message to, I guess, a bunch of other GOP people to see if they could dig up a Republican woman somewhere. Can you find us a woman? They're looking for a lawyer, like a woman lawyer, to sit in and actually ask questions.

I think that they're going to try their best, especially as we're leading up to a voting season where women are going to be the biggest factor in this election. They've been dropped. They've been fleeing Trump and Trump- Like crazy, yeah. And Trump-backed allies for a very long time.

It's going to be a very interesting season, especially coming on the heels of something like this, where if you get 10 Republicans in the Senate Judiciary Committee hand-waving off a sexual assault. Well, I read something that said that they're going to have a third-party lawyer question this person to avoid. That's what you're saying. And I thought about that too. It's like, think about that again. Like, think about what's not being said there which is like look we want to go after this person aggressively but i don't want to agree yeah no but i don't want you to see me do it i want to be as aggressive as i can i'm gonna hire a

fucking proxy yeah again because i'm a goddamn coward yeah and what i want to do i know if i do what i want to do i'm gonna look i'm what I want to do, I'm going to look like an asshole. So instead of looking like an asshole, I will pay a surrogate asshole. Yep. Yeah, it's going to be a, like I said, it's probably going to be a woman who's going to do most of their work. They're hiring a litigator who's got experience in exactly this kind of stuff. In a few weeks, we're going to have a sexual, a second sexual harasser. Do you think they can put this off until the midterm?

Because the first one is Ginsburg. The first one is Ginsburg. It's because she wants to peg me. That's why. If Ginsburg wanted to peg you, you'd be all over that. I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that. Got a short no list. No. Yeah. I don't care what day no list. No.

Yeah. I don't care what day it is. Yeah. All that. Calendar says flag day, but you're not breaking out the poll. I think they're going to. I think they're going to.

You think they're going to confirm him before the midterm? I think they probably will. I will say, though, I would not be surprised if on the way out, right as soon as they're like, all right, we're done with you, Mr. Kavanaugh. We're going to make our if on the way out, right as soon as they're like, all right, we're done with you, Mr. Kavanaugh. We're going to make our vote on the way out.

He just reaches over and honks Feinstein's tit. And just like, sorry, everybody. It's been great. I can do whatever I want. For life. At this point though, like if he gets in and they don't even pay any attention to this

or it just gets like the most minimal amount of lip service, would that be surprising? No, no, no, nothing matters anymore. Nothing matters. Nothing matters anymore.

All that matters. We are in a, in a, you know, I was thinking about this this week. Remember how last week we were talking about how like with, as far as environmental concerns, none of that's going to matter because we're going to burn it down for the

quarterly profits mode, right? Yeah. We are governing the same way. Yeah, pretty much. We are governing in a way that says, like, whatever is most practical and expedient, regardless of whether it's right.

Yeah. What gets me the result I want today, regardless of whose house it burns down next week. Yeah. In the name of Jesus, we speak that all right this story is from The Raw Story. Sarah Sanders will lie for Trump because she thinks she's defending God's chosen leader.

Of course, this has been said by a Baptist pastor. So the reason I wanted to talk about this is how incredibly unsurprising this is, but how directly in contrast it is with the messaging from, from the evangelical right. Exactly. You know? Yeah. And like we were talking before the show,

the, the thing that, the thing that is so fucking transparent and yet somehow purposefully unseen, I think is that like the evangelicals have a list of issues that matter. You know, abortion, abortion, abortions, the third one. I think they also don't like immigrants, but abortions primarily. It's mostly abortion. Yeah.

And Bibles in school or something. And so like they go out to their flock and they preach this fucking voodoo message that they've had to twist and turn into all these prophecies and craziness in order to present and paint this like morality play that they, that they're selling to the flock. But at the end of the day, this is that same old pragmatism. I want this result. I don't care that the guy that I put in charge is the philanderer in chief and that I have a whole thing about that in my church. I don't care that like all of these actions we've deemed to be immoral. And yet our president engages in, you know, I mean, like think about the lying issue.

It's one of the commandments. Right. Trump lies constantly. Yeah. He lies all the time. And he's caught in provable lies constantly. Just every day. Almost every day. I think I saw something the other day. He surpassed the 5,000 mark in

untrue statements, untrue or misleading statements in two years. In under two years. 5,000 untrue statements. What's interesting is it's so transparent. Of course, Sandra, of course, they'd be like, yeah, Sandra's going to lie because she is as pragmatic as we are. When we stand at the pulpit, it's the same as when she stands at the podium.

Her podium just doesn't have a cross on it. My pulpit just doesn't have an emblem on it, a seal on it. But we're all doing the same thing. We're lying to our flock and telling them a morality story, which we're making up on the fly, motherfucker. And which we don't ever really, which we don't ever have to follow.

And we don't have to believe. Because they constantly break and they get forgiven for or whatever. And we don't have to even believe it's true because the ends justify the means. Yeah. And the ends justify the means. Yeah. And the ends justify the means as the one thing religion

has never had or never sold its flock, right? Religion has always sold its flock that there are these large ideals, these platonic kind of ideals of good and evil

and how the world... There is objective truth. Right. Yeah. And yet we're allowing subjective right and wrong when it gets us the fucking answer. Right. Yeah. And yet we're allowing subjective right and wrong when it gets us the fucking answer we want. We get subjective whenever we want.

And it's because they want to be able to... It's this idea that they want to be able to be immoral, act immorally, but then look moral for it. Yeah. And they do. And it's amazing how many people fall for it. And Sarah Huckabee Sanders is just... She's just good at it. Yeah. And they do. And it's amazing how many people fall for it. And Sarah Huckabee Sanders is just, she's just good at it. She's just good at it. And I think she's good at it, her knows she's lying, knows she's being a hypocrite half the time. You could call it,

and that's where you catch them, is in the hypocrisy. And even on the, you know, even the most simplest little things there are hypocrites about. Right. And it's because

they don't care about hypocrisy. They literally do not care. You could throw hypocrisy in their face a hundred thousand times, be like, but you're throw hypocrisy in their face a hundred thousand times be like but you're a hypocrite here why did you say this but they don't care they only care about this thing right now they don't care about happened two minutes ago it's like you were saying we clear-cut democracy absolutely the fuck do i care if i burn that forest down i'm moving the fuck on man i got a whole forest in front of me. You're living in the past. We're at a place

now where if there was, if it existed, if there's a thought experiment, if there was a magical wood chipper and into that magical wood chipper you had to feed three babies every day. You just take three babies, you drop them into the magical wood chipper,

choose them up, and what it spits out is exactly the policies that you want. There is a group of people that would say, I would hire the wood chipper. That's what we have. We have said, I don't care about any of these larger issues about right and wrong and good and evil.

We don't care about any of that. All that we've, we made all that messy. We made it all up. It's baby juice at the other end of the wood chipper, right? It's sprayed across the wall and nobody likes it. What we want is the result. I want the policy.

So if the policy is that Roe v. Wade is going to be overturned, then yeah, I'll feed a baby into the wood chipper. I'll throw my ideals and my morals, all these things that I've built the foundation, the tenets of my belief system upon, which I've sold, literally sold to the credulous in order for me to get my big win. And I think they want that big win because that puts butts in seats and it puts dollars in the tithing basket. This is money. It's nothing other than

transparent money-grubbing bullshit. Morality, I was saying, one of the things I said while you were talking is money, morality, real morality, real ethics, trying to understand morality

is messy. It's not easy. It's messy. If they were being honest and genuine, you run into real problems when you think about something like abortion, right?

I run into some very serious problems when I talk about abortion because I'm not, you know, I am, I am completely pro-choice to a certain extent, but there's a point where I start thinking, well, that's a, that's a person. And so I, there's, I waver at a certain point because it's messy because it's not easy Because it's not easy. Because it's not 100%. The moment the cell is fertilized or whatever, it's a baby. That's absurd. That's an absurd way to think.

But if you don't care about reality, it's a real easy way to think. And again, if you don't care about your own actions, because how many times have these people taken their mistress to Planned Parenthood right you know as often as she needs when I need when I gotta make sure I'm making sure because it's I'm different than everybody else because morality is easy for them when it really should be messy and hard and hard to because again another thing too is like when people throw hypocrisy back at me, it makes me think, oh, am I being a hypocrite? Well, how, how am I not being consistent? And does it matter? Yeah. I think about that. Yeah. And that's a, that's a shitty moment. When that happens to me, I'm always like, fuck. Yeah. I wanted to be better than that. And I'm not. And now I have to, now I have to spend time with that. And I have to think about how to do better.

I got to think about it. And I have to reconcile that I didn't do better before. And that is always a shitty feeling. When that happens, and it happens to me, when that happens, I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And it should feel bad, but you can avoid the feeling bad. You can avoid the feeling bad by just kind of rationalizing out your worldview differently right yep yep and then you don't have to be like well am i applying the same standard to myself i applied other people you know i mean like you just don't pay attention to yeah it's super easy yeah when your body burns this stuff with no carbohydrates what happens is you build up the clinkers i love this this is This is from ChristianPost.com. We prayed, and look at that!

Pat Robinson credits prayer for redirecting Hurricane Florence away from his ministries. Alright, so this is from an episode of the 700 Club. Robinson noted that weather forecasters labeled the new direction of Florence bizarre, and he said the change of course was because you and I prayed. He said, we prayed!

And look at that. We asked the Lord to take it out of here and he did. It's like a shield that God has put around us. Why? Because God's people prayed and that's what happened. This is a miracle, ladies and gentlemen. When we pray, God does miracles. So here's his prayer.

I don't want it to hurt Regent. I don't want it to hurt CBN. I don't want it to tear up the beautiful campus. And I don't want it to hurt region I don't want it to hurt CBN I don't want it to tear up the beautiful campus and I don't want to tear these trees down I don't want to see any damage I don't want a bunch of glass flowing evidently in his mind the hurricane was going to that's a week that's a weekly prayer service that's what he said

that's the most uninspired prayer I've ever heard I don't want it I don't want I don't want a hurricane I don't want to have to sweep up after the thing. These shoes are too tight. Who heard? I am having a temper tantrum.

I don't want a hurricane. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? One of his boring prayer service ever. Listen to somebody whine for 10 minutes. In his mind, he moved. Think about what success means to him. It didn't hit

me. It hit you. I want to read part of this. It says, the death toll for Florence rose to 17 when a three-month-old died after a tree crashed into their mobile. But CBN is beautiful. Yeah, but what God said was,

look, I know you spend a lot of money on them greens keepers. We don't spend any money on trailers and hillbillies, so that's fine. You can splat them around a tree, no worries.

How about the two mentally ill people that drown in a van in the river? Oh, no, really? Yeah, there were two mentally ill people being transported by the police in a van. And the van got overtaken by water in a flood.

And because they were in the back in the lockup area, they couldn't be extricated. Oh, no. And the driver and the other guard got out. Yeah, sure, they got out. Yeah. And they were rescued from the top of the van. And the two mentally ill people that were being transported for their safety drowned. So that's okay.

In this world, that's okay for a baby to get hit with a tree and mentally ill people to drown in a fucking storage container basically. Probably would have been better if there was a big Indian guy just to hold a pillow over their face instead. And then throw a sink

out a window and run for the hills. That is a super sad hills. That is a super sad story. Tragedies are tragic. I'm sure the other 14 people that we didn't mention had equally

tragic parts of what happened to them. There's a scary death that's associated with each one of those people, whether it's their fucking dialysis machine got pulled out of the wall because the nurse was running away from exploding a window or something. Like, you know what I mean?

Whatever it is, there's a horrible story attached to all these people, but good news, your trees are still standing. The good news is, rich people who are well-insured are going to be just fine again. Yeah, because they thought about

the motion of the hurricane really hard. I love too that like in his world, his prayers were strong enough to move it, but not out to sea. I know, right? Still had to kill 17 people. It's got to fuck some shit up. Yeah, it's like, look,

I can make it so the tiger doesn't come here. It can be not here. I can make it go down the street and eat those kids. There's a tiger. Should it eat the rich people or the poor people? Well, I shut my door and my doors are tiger proof. They're fine. God let me have tiger proof doors. Also

because he loves me more. Right. What a mean old man. He's a super mean prick. What a mean old man. Ready to stick it in the glory hole? Get links to their Facebook, Twitter, and if you still use it, Google Plus account at their website, dissonancepod.com. If you need to be all discreet about it, contact them by email at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a ransom message at 740-74-DOUBT.

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Not ready to become a patron? Give the guys a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher. Or tell your buddies in the drunk tank about the show. We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. That story comes from Dallas News.

Texas board votes to eliminate Hillary Clinton and Helen Keller. It would have been better if that's where the, the, like it was a period at the end of that sentence. Texas board votes to eliminate Hillary Clinton. And that was the end of the story.

But anyway, I'm sorry. Texas board votes to eliminate Hillary Clinton and Helen Keller from history curriculum. My God, I'm so glad that Helen Keller is not alive to not read this today. That's ableist. You're the worst, Tom.

I can't believe how ableist you are. Guys, I just want you to know I'm not ableist and Tom is. I'm just saying it's better to be able to see than not see. And that's just true. I'm sure someone could have told her. She'll listen to it on audio. Continue on, Tom.

Continue on. So. Jesus Christ. It's fucked up. Tell her jokes, guys. Oh, God. Remember when those were a thing? She screamed her mittens off. Oh's fucked up. Helen Keller jokes, guys. Oh, God. Remember when those were a thing? She screamed her mittens off.

Oh, my God. I knew like 40 Helen Keller jokes when I was a kid. I played Helen Keller in my freshman year. Wait, what? Yeah, so I got in trouble. It's kind of a funny story. Oh, no. This is going to be so horrible.

My freshman year, our class, we did... There's a Helen Keller play. I forgot what it's called. I don't know. It's a talk be so horrible. My freshman year, our class, we did, there's a Helen Keller play. I forgot what it's called. I don't know. It's a talkie though. It's just ironic. But there's a Helen Keller play with a lot of dialogue you wouldn't suspect. Everybody in the audience has to read it through Braille. Yeah.

I think that would be a bad play. I don't know. It's not going to make it anywhere on Broadway. And like my freshman year, English teachers decided that we were going to read it. And then we were going to, each row was going to perform an act. Is it like a musical? Like instead of Hamilton, it's just Keller? She's always doing jazz hands.

Just jazz hands. For 40 minutes. Actually, when you go like this in sign language, it's applause. Is it? Yeah. In sign language, it's applause. Is it? Yeah. In sign language, moving your hands back and forth is applause. So I was a smartass and I got in trouble a lot my freshman year for being disruptive and making

smartass comments. And so the teacher there was just like, well, I'm going to smartass out of you. She's like, and you will be Helen Keller. And she pointed at me and I was like, fuck, I'm Helen Keller. So I'm a a smart ass out of you. She's like, and you will be Helen Keller. And she pointed at me and I was like, fuck, I'm Helen Keller. So I'm a 14 year old,

13 year old boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you're already like, I'm kind of afraid of everything, you know,

because you're shitty. Because you're shitty. And then, I understand this too, ladies, boys when they're that age are the shittiest. Oh,

we're garbage. Are genuinely the shittiest. You're just, you are rancid, stinking dumpster. Absolutely the worst. You're just, you are rancid, stinking dumpster. Absolutely. The worst. You're just,

and you don't get better until you're 37, 30. It's like real bad. I'm waiting for the changeover six myself. So like, I was like, fine, you know,

fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck you. So I got to be, I was supposed to be Helen Keller and I'm like, well, at least I don't have to learn any lines, you know,

like, but I was supposed to pantomime and act out all, well, at least I don't have to learn any lines. You know, like, but I was supposed to pantomime and act out all these, all these different things. And at one point, Helen Keller in the scene, I acted out the last scene where it's just the only line

Helen Keller gets, which is wah, wah, wah, wah, where she speaks for the first time. It's a cathartic moment in her personal journey that I mocked mercilessly with my performance. So, like, we had a table and

a folding table was part of the set in the front of the class. Really? You guys had like a whole set thing? We used to just sit in our desk and read those. Oh, no. We had to get up in front of the class and act it all out. Oh, see, when we were in English class, it never did that for us. It was always just sitting and reading. I was supposed to throw a tantrum at one point. Oh, you're good at those.

So, I picked up my big, stupid 14-year-old body. I threw this dumb thing in the air and I crashed onto the table and I broke her table. I was like, and I smashed her table. It's like WWE. I did.

And she was like appalled. She was absolutely appalled. And I kicked and screamed through this great big fit, like a great big temper tantrum-y, shitty fit. And then the very last thing that we had to do,

I was supposed to say, wah, wah, wah, wah. And I knew it. And my portion of my line came up and I just stood there and I looked around. I was like, oh, my line.

Wah, wah. Wah, wah. Oh, you're such a dick. So I took like all the juice. Did you get an F? Yeah, I got an F. I got an A in the class though because like it's one assignment. And I was like, fuck're such a dick. So I took like all the juice. Did you get an F? Yeah, I got an F. I got an A in the class though because like it's one assignment

and I was like, fuck me, fuck you. But I want to talk about this story, this Helen Keller story. Okay, sorry. I know we shifted gears, but I want to talk about this Helen Keller story

because they're trying to take out parts of these things that are, you know, that are American history. Yeah. And they're trying to say this stuff and then it's not that they're trying to say it didn't happen.

They just don't want to mention. They're editing by omission. Editing by omission. At one point it says, the board also voted to keep in the curriculum a reference to the heroism of the defenders of the Alamo, which had been recommended for elimination, as well as Moses' influence

on the writing of the nation's founding document. I know. They were also required to tell the story of how the United States came into being when a giant eagle laid the liberty egg in 1776. The liberty egg. That's when Ben Franklin made a nest out of all the spare kite string he had and they laid the liberty egg

and it just I have a quiz for you what do Helen Keller and Hillary Clinton have in common they're women oh imagine that what did we get rid of we kept the old guy who didn't even exist yeah we

kept yeah moses we kept that guy in there right yeah we kept a fictional character yeah in our history book yeah that one's in there we kept a bunch of dudes who all died unsuccessfully defending a building that was going to be torn down anyway but two incredibly influential women figure yeah think about like it's not accidental it's none of this shit is accidental and it's it's like the stories that we tell shape the way that we think about how the world happened and it helps it helps shape the way that we think about how the world should happen when we when you get rid of like the stories the stories of powerful women, we're doing that on purpose. That is a very active disenfranchisement of women by reducing the amount of influence that influential women have on the story we tell our children about this country.

It's interesting because a couple times in the past, I had mentioned the ratio of men to women in Congress. I've mentioned this on the show a couple times. 50-50. And I've gotten really shitty email because of it. And one or two times people were saying like, maybe not just email because it was YouTube comments too. There was a couple of YouTube comments in there where, I remember specifically when we were on SES show, There was a bunch of people who glommed onto that

and posted about that when we were on SES show and they, they sort of attacked that. And I, I'd gotten a comment, I think a long, long time ago when we first started this show about it, because I had mentioned it as well. But that's important to, to recognize and to mention all the time. And the reason why it's important is because when you don't show stories about women who do succeed in politics, because even though Hillary failed to become president, she did succeed in politics other places. Oh, my God. She was incredibly as the secretary of state. And, you know, I mean, you don't get elected to that role, but still she's succeeded in other parts of politics. She's succeeded in an electoral basis and she's also succeeded as an appointed basis. And so she's been a successful politician. can that that's place for them right there's a reason why you know when you start looking at women's careers when you come out of the 50s they had nurse teacher nothing else right there's a

reason why because those those were professions examples those were the examples that they learned about when they were growing up this is this is what they learned that they could be they never they never learned that they could be a famous senator what they learned that they could be. They never learned that they could be a famous senator. What they learned was they could just be a nurse or a teacher, a school teacher. That's what they had in front of them. And we talked to Karen Garst that one time. Remember, she even said just as much. I didn't want to get into nursing.

That's what my mom was in. So I became a teacher. Because those were the two roles that she was offered as growing up. So it's super important to talk about that disparity in the Senate and in the House and to say every time they take that photo where they say this is our freshman class for the House of Representatives and you see one lady and 70 dudes and 69 of them are white gray haired dudes. Yeah. That says something that means something. When we tell our story, when we tell the stories that we tell in history class,

many of the characters that we choose to tell stories about, we tell stories about because they offer a representative example. And if the, if the only representative examples are, as you noted, are similar to our congressional lineup, where it's like, yeah, here's what a bunch of white, you know, old white dudes did. Well, the world looks like

it's run by old white dudes. And you know, the reality is the world is run by old white dudes. And unless we want to, like, if we want to change that, if we want to offer women and other people, if we want their voices to matter, we're going to need some representative examples. Is trusting God important? It's the only thing that gets favor from him.

He doesn't respond to pain or tears or heartache. He only responds to being believed. So stories from the raw story. Fox News priest. I love that line, too. Like Fox News has its own priest. Awesome. Fox News priest. I love that line too. Like Fox News has its own priest. It's awesome. Fox News priest assures storm victims. Well,

they definitely have their own wing for sexual assault there at Fox News. So it doesn't seem like it's that far. At least they pay out their settlements. It's so true. They don't rehome their anchors somewhere else.

They definitely let them go. Right. They let them go. Like Bill O'Reilly shows up at like KQOD Oklahoma's home for news or whatever. He's still writing. I saw a recent post from him. Like he's still writing. I don't know if he's...

Like books and shit? I think he is, yeah. Yeah, why not? He's got all the... Like what bad thing happened to Bill O'Reilly? He's still rich as fuck. And now he just doesn't have to go to work yeah. Yeah, why not? He's got all the... Like, what bad thing happened to Bill O'Reilly? He's still rich as fuck, and now he just doesn't have to go to work anymore. Yeah, right.

Like, if somebody... That's literally the only thing I want out of my life. I know. Like, his worst case scenario is like... You need to get into a sexual scandal. See if you can... Have been trying. Just get in the Supreme Court.

But everyone's like... Get in the Supreme Court and honk Ruth Bader Ginsburg's tit once. Once. I've done it three times. You do it once. You do it once and dust comes out. Just makes sense.

She's like old papyrus. She just. Oh, God. Oh, it's just a robes, a pile of robes and glasses. There's nothing there. Oh, God. Oh, God. Did somebody like.

Did somebody touch Ruth? Oh, my God. Did somebody touch Ruth? Did somebody my God. Did somebody touch Ruth? Did somebody walk by her? So they just come over. We hermetically seal her. They come by. They water the ashes.

We reconstitute into Ruth. She turns into that plant creature from Guardians of the Galaxy. I am Ruth. I am Ruth. I am Ruth. I am Ruth. Fox News priest assures storm victims that little girl who died in hurricane is part of God's

purpose. I do want to point out that while he did reassure some people, who he did not reassure was the dead little girl. Because she's dead. Jesus. When you scroll down here, they have the best photo on Raw Story. He looks like

he's trying to push his eyes out like ping pong balls out of his head. It looks like he's playing beer pong with his eyes. He's going to shoot them across the room and they're going to land on a solo cup. What it looks like to me is there's a surprise proctologist. Also, this guy could be played by Bateman too.

I think in the TV movie, this guy could pull off a band. I'm going to play a little bit of this clip. This is from Fox News. Welcome back. Well, where is God in a hurricane? It's a big... Well, you see, I'm in the eye of the hurricane. That's where the controls are. I drives it around

with my big... It steers like one of them fancy no-turn lawnmowers. I'll tell you where I am. I'm steering it away from the white area. How's that? What do you want me to do? Pat Robertson says, don't hit my, I gotta park this thing somewhere.

It's funny. It's funny because they only mention it when it's when it lands in a white area. You know what I mean? Where was God during Katrina? Where was God during Maria? I don't know. Where was God during Maria? We forgot about those people instantly.

Well, it's so funny because the same time that Hurricane Florence hit North Carolina, a super typhoon hit the same day, hit the Philippines and then moved over to mainland China and fucked shit up there. And that thing made

Hurricane Florence look like a fucking fart. It got downgraded to a tropical storm really quickly. Right. And it thing made Hurricane Florence look like a fucking fart. It got downgraded to a tropical storm really quickly. Right. And it was a one when it made landfall.

The super typhoon was like, I'm a super typhoon. Basically displaced half of the Pacific. Like, I don't know if super is bigger than mega or taller than ultra or if it's a grand reopening

or if it's under new management. I don't know how that works. But when you throw super in front of the word typhoon what has god in that it just means it brings you your groceries it's a super typhoon yeah question many people are asking this morning as florence ravages the south killing at least 11 and leaving thousands without power and their homes joining us now with a message of faith and hope at times like this. A guy whose house is not underwater. Faith and hope at times like this. Oh, but doesn't hit my house!

What the fuck else are you hoping for? Food and some clean water. Yeah, exactly. News religion contributor, Father Jonathan Morse. Good morning. Good morning. I saw a story on NBC a night or two, I guess it was last night about a group of folks in North Carolina that waited out the storm in a church. And they sort of came together. But there are other people who are watching this saying, gosh, it's so hard right now to watch this.

They're saying, gosh, it's hard. You know what? I don't like people who are watching this. They're saying, gosh, it's hard to watch this. But my tragedy porn is on anyway. It's not. It's it's certainly not as bad as those people who died, but it's hard to watch. It's not as bad as living it. Yeah. And a little weird to masturbate to. That's super weird. Still gotta get a job done. Whether it's a hurricane or

some other hurricane-like reality in our lives. What the fuck does that mean? A hurricane-like reality? What the fuck does that even mean? What he's going to do in a second is he's going to move away from the tangible question mean a hurricane like reality well i what the fuck does that even mean what he's going to do in a second is he's going to move away from the tangible question of a hurricane which is real and full of water and you got to really deal with that thing and then he's like but you can also have lots of hurricane like moments in your life like when you're out of groceries or something

like he just he moves away from the practical into the spiritual because there's no answer for this. Because basically there's, there's no way to protect the good. Right. In those. So you just have to be like, well, good people die sometimes.

And that's a hard thing to say. Yeah. So he just won't. Yeah. Instead what it would do is broaden the question until it's meaningless. We get to a point where we say,

gosh, you know, like where is god and i absolutely understand that um and i think it's because we spend a lot of our lives collecting security blankets right like houses to live in so that it doesn't rain on us yeah or like once your house goes like literal blankets yeah to huddle under and wait for a new house. He's about to shit. Because you're homeless. All right.

With security blankets, like food to eat. Yeah. Like this. Security blankets, like a living pet and our relatives. Get a nice home. We get money.

We get a job. We get friends around us, security blankets to make sure that we're going to be okay. And that's not a bad thing either. That's pretty rational. It's what human beings do. But in the arc of our existence, right, we build up those security, we collect those security blankets. But as we get older, right, and especially in old age and sickness or in a situation like this, a hurricane, all of those security blankets get tossed out. Our relatives and our close friends. What is he talking about with the old age?

Because when you're, yeah, mom, leave me alone. Get out of my room. It's not your room if I rent it. Well, it's... And I think it's a time in which we can either become better people and focus on our relationship with God and our purpose for existing. Unless you're dead like that baby or or you just don't have a home anymore or like everything you own is fucking now has to sit out in the sun for, I don't know, six straight months before it's usable again.

Like this whole idea that, like, tragedy makes you a better person is a lie. It is, that is not a true thing. Can it? Yeah, maybe it can. Does it always? No, absolutely it does not always. No, no, no.

Does it frequently? Yeah, no, probably, I don't think so. Probably not. I'll tell you, like, if something, like, if one of my kids fucking dies, if somebody, if the closest people in my life die so i'm not gonna come away from that like well i'm a better man for that no i i'm gonna be worse off i'm gonna have terrible psychological and emotional scars that are gonna

hurt all the time without ever stopping i'm not gonna be like well no god wouldn't have given that to me if i couldn't handle it or else we can become bitter and we can just lose all hope. And I've seen it go both ways. How do you stay better as opposed to bitter? Because you're right, it could go either way. Yeah. Well, if your life is really founded on those security blankets, right? It's if you build your house on sand. Well, what if you built your house in North Carolina? Yeah. What if you just built a house because you have to live in a house and now you don't have that house? Where do you live now?

Cut this crap. Like, cut all this like existential sort of metaphorical garbage. Like, if your baby's dead and all your belongings are gone, where do you sleep tomorrow except for on a bed of your own sadness? Yeah, right. You are watching the beginning and the birth of the new world order. And you want to call me crazy? Go to hell. Call me crazy all you want. Alright, this story is from

Right Wing Watch. This is Mark Taylor. John McCain was executed by a military tribunal who shot cancer into his brain. And a cancer gun. Here we go. This is Mark Taylor. When they drop the hammer on these guys, and I believe there will be executions.

With a hammer. Both know that John McCain was executed. Oh, yeah, we know that. With a cancer hammer. We definitely know John McCain was executed. Why was he executed? By who? How?

Well, they had a cancer hammer, Tom. They dropped it on him. I guess. And maybe it was an accident. They just dropped the hammer. They didn't mean to. They're walking around with this cancer hammer.

Not paying any attention. You know, just whoopsie doodle them. You ever go to Ace Hardware and you mean to grab a claw hammer? He was susceptible because he was 82. You know,

under military tribunals, which is another reason why Kavanaugh, Judge Kavanaugh, they're screaming so loud. They're trying to disguise it that it's abortion that they're worried about. That's not what they're worried about. They want a solid 5-4 vote for the military tribunals.

Because if you notice the line of questioning for Lindsey Graham the other day, he said, hey, if someone who's a civilian commits treason, does it fall under civil or military? And he said, military. And that put a shockwave, that put the fear of God in every one of them. That's why they're fighting this guy so hard. It's not Roe versus Wade yet that they're worried about. It's the military tribunals because they know it's going to cost them lives and they're going to be executed. So he's saying that the Democrats are worried that they're going to be executed by military tribunals. Right. That's what that's reason. Thatason. That's the argument. Yeah. But, yeah. So the argument is

that the reason why they're afraid is because if military tribunals become a thing, they'll be executed. Wow. Okay.

That is the most, that is paranoid as fuck. Holy shit. I think it gets better. Hold on. Has there ever been a military tribunal executing anyone in the States? I don't think so. I don't think better. Hold on. Has there ever been a military tribunal executing anyone in the States?

I don't think so. I don't think so either, man. I mean, I could be wrong. I'm willing to. I'll tell you what, it hasn't happened in the last 40 years. If you have an example, please send it because I'd like to see it. The most recent example. Wow.

Well, you said, this isn't a question, but I'm just curious. You said that McCain was executed. Obviously, there's a story going around that he had brain brain cancers that wasn't it there's a story going around there's a story that his brain told everybody a story going around you know i heard it once floated you know what man this is the problem when all news sources are equivalent right yeah yeah there's a story going on. I think it was reported on every credible place, but there were also

crackpots. So, I mean, which one is it? Tomato, tomato. Because every single news source out there said he died of brain cancer. What do you have to say, crazy firefighter prophet? Right. I don't think that was it, honestly, because then you had what came

out the other day. Who was it? Kasich slipped up on an interview on CNN and said that he was basically executed. No, he didn't. He didn't say that. I watched the clip. Did you? What did he say? It's a slip

up. He says put to death. But what I think he's saying is taken off of stuff. You know what I mean? Like to keep him alive. That's what he means to say. And he doesn't say this is put to death. He doesn't say executed though. That's a totally different thing.

Put to death. Fucking look, man. I put fucking three pets to death. I didn't execute them. I didn't put a little cigarette in their mouth and tie a fucking blindfold on them and make them stand up against the wall and say,

Vive la France before I shot them. Somebody like scoops up a sleeping John McCain in their arms and like lovingly carries him out to the van and like sets him down on his favorite blanket. Jesus Christ. And he's all curled up and old and shit he's pooped himself a little bit we're trying

to clean it gently from his buttocks they're cleaning him up and then they're sticking the thing in it like who wants to get their last pet soon everybody's standing around petting John McCain and he like looks hopefully lovingly up and like licks the hand of his wife that he's leaving behind.

Guys, am I going to make it? I think I feel happy. I feel happy. I brought his favorite toy. He can't hold it anymore, but he just rests next to his body. His favorite toy was a model of the jet he was shot down in Vietnam.

They've got a plaster of Paris handprint of John McCain. Go to sleep little Johnny. Oh, gosh. It's okay, John. You can let go now. It was a slip of the tongue. And it's like, you cannot.

And I told someone this the other day. I said, look, when you watch John McCain's funeral and you saw the entire cabal right there in one spot and they could have rounded them all up right there, man, if they wanted to. You know what I mean? Man, these people weren't smiling. Who the fuck? Not a funeral! Not a funeral! No shit! They weren't smiling. Who's smiling

at a funeral? What are you, the Joker? What the fuck is wrong with you? None of these guys were happy at that funeral. That proved... What does that prove? I've gone to services for people i barely know and don't genuinely care about and i don't smile you weren't like because i'm not a ghoul you didn't walk in and be like brah fist bump like what are you doing are you serious put little shirts and

skins in the parking lot what What's up, man? Oh my god. They weren't smiling. There's your proof, guys. Jeez, sheeple. Wake up! It's like that song, like, Laugh at a Funeral. What's that stupid Barenaked Lady song? Oh yeah, I'm the

kind of guy that laughs at a funeral. I don't know the rest of it. It's what people say that you sound like when you start the show. Yeah. It's been one week since you'd, I don't know, I don't know the rest of it.

Diddled me. That's the Catholic priest song. It's been one week since you diddled me. I mean, they knew. That he was dead? Yeah. Everybody in the whole room was like,

Jesus Christ. Yeah, they knew his fucking grieving family was there. God, sucks. We took him off that medication and bam, out like a lion. John McCain was a prophetic marker in time

that we have moved from judgment to justice is now being served, period, and they know it. Wait, is he saying that he was militarily tribunaled? Yeah, and he's saying that John McCain is part of this cabal. What the fuck do they need fucking a vote for that?

Everybody is part of the cabal. I don't understand, though. Like, like the reason why they were upset about Kavanaugh is that they would suddenly have this 5-4 vote. Well, if John McCain was executed by this already, what do you need Kavanaugh for? I don't know. What do you need him for? for i don't know what do you need him for you're literally doing it right now why am i that doesn't make any sense man right am i no i'm not fucking i'm not i mean like i'm trying i did yeah what do you we need the

power to do what we are doing i don't understand i don't already did it i don't have the power to do what we are doing. I don't understand. You already did it. I don't have the power to do it. You cancer hammered him to death. I didn't do it. I didn't have the power to do what I did. You took your cancer hammer. I need to do it more. And you dropped it on him from a very high height. And you hit him directly in the skullet.

And they know that if they don't do something to stop this, they're next. Because John McCain was the number three guy. But what stopped him from John McCain? Nothing. They executed him tribunally or whatever. Why aren't they next now? Yeah, why don't they just do it right now? Also, he's about to say that John McCain's the number three guy. Why didn't you get the number one guy? Well, who's the number one guy? It's Barack

Obama. Okay. All right. What's your bet? Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton's the number one? Yeah. Who's number two? Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton's number one? Yeah. Who's number two? Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton's number two. Okay. Barack Obama being number one. Hillary Clinton.

Yes. Oh. Yes. Fine. Be right. Stupid. Yes. I didn't know.

Does black win over pink? I don't know which is. Well, you can't make the black guy number two. That's just racist. Barack Obama being number one. Hillary Clinton being number two. And John McCain being number two. That's just racist. Barack Obama being number one, Hillary Clinton being number two, and John McCain being number three. John McCain?

What is the third one? Shitty John McCain. What are you talking about? He just died recently, so it's a good excuse to have this crazy. What about Joe Biden? No, what about like,

I don't know, like any of the fucking Soros. What about like any of the Democratic senators over the Republican one who only, I don't know, like any of the fucking Soros. Well, what about like any of the Democratic senators over the Republican one who only, I don't know, disagreed with Trump one time? Like, this is a guy who ran for president to be the Republican president. You know, and he only like really significantly disagreed with Trump on like one or two issues. Yeah. So what?

He's not a traitor. No, he's not a traitor. Barack Obama's not a traitor. I wouldn't know he's not a traitor. Barack Obama's not a traitor. I know, but like, their definition of traitor is, I don't know that guy. And they did, wait, wait, wait. We haven't even decided what the treasonous, the treasonous thing is. He's number

three. What's the reason for the treason? Hillary Clinton, he's the third worst traitor in the country. So if they can take down the head of ISIS, John McCain, you know what I mean? The head of ISIS? What the fucking head of ISIS is John McCain? Is ISIS a kind of cancer? The head of ISIS?

He's got a whole head full of ISIS. You got a bad case of ISIS. Sorry. We're going to have to amputate your head. Also, like, at this point, ISIS is defeated. I know. Yeah. You got a bad case of ISIS. We're going to have to amputate your head. Also, at this point, ISIS is defeated. We're just done with that now.

What the fuck? John McCain is the head of ISIS. John McCain is the head of the Islamic State. Maybe what they're saying is they cryo-froze him so his head is on ISIS. That's what they're saying. The number three guy out of all this, they know they're next.

That's why they're scared to death. That's why they're screaming. Literally, why would they have been first? What's stopping them from dropping the cancer hammer on all those people? If I have a super secret cancer sniper rifle. It's not a cancer though because they said he didn't. He doesn't believe he dies of cancer. Where did you keep, I bring up cancer

because that's the only the most likely cause of death. But you know, maybe it's something else. If I could kill, if I was afraid of three people, why wouldn't I kill the person I'm most afraid of first? Yeah. Like, right. I just would do that because

I'm not an asshole. You kill the one as a warning to the other two. Don't be scary. Yeah. You were scarier, but I killed someone less scary so that you'll be less scary. So you should have to be less scary than the number three. But then I don't know who's four because he's three now. I don't know how the number is.

I'll get back to the number system. It's confusing. You want answers? I think I's confusing. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. So this story is from Right Wing Watch. This is Rick Joyner. Hurricane Florence will be a major, major

blessing. Absolutely. Where does Rick Joyner live? I don't know. Let's find out. Let's find out where he lives. I'm going to guess he's not swimming right now unexpectedly. He's not taken. Probably not. No. He looks like he's above out. Let's find out where he lives. I'm going to guess he's not swimming right now. Unexpectedly. He's not taken. Probably not.

No, he looks like he's above water. Yeah. This is going to turn into a major blessing. And we've been, look, it's going to turn into a major blessing after we wrap, after we wind up wiping up all these rotten bodies, it's going to be a major blessing.

Do you think he's mistaken? And he thinks it's going to hit Brown people. Is that why he's saying this? Come on, brown people! Brown people, brown people, brown people! We've been through a lot of devastating storms before and they

do turn into a major blessing. It's hard to see at first. Because of the devastation. It's hard to see because when it squishes that three-year-old, it gets in your eyes sometimes. It's hard to see at first. Because of the devastation. It's hard to see because when it squishes that three-year-old, it gets in your eyes sometimes. And it's just hard to see through. But if you persevere and just wipe

that three-year-old off your face, I'm going to wash that three-year-old out of my hair. It's hard to see when you... I remember our pier down Perdida. It seemed like every year we were rebuilding that pier, the boat house. And I mean, we just had stuff happen, lost 50 some trees in one storm and has stuff to deal with, but it made the place better.

Because you had the money to fix the things that were broken. Listen to your story, Iixed my to fix my boathouse oh yeah right oh i had to buy a my insurance company came out and put a new fence up yeah then nothing happened to you look then nothing fucking happened to you right oh my hail damage fucked up my car and then i took it to the guy and then i had no more hail then nothing happened to you a baby got a tree on its head. I know. It's not like their parents are like, well, the baby's better than it was. Yeah, right.

Baby's working better than it always has been. New and improved. Jimmy. Now we have twins. I mean, it really opened it up and made it a lot better. I don't hear what it looks like right after the storm. Yeah, it's because it's not your fucking problem. Because

you never lost anything that you couldn't replace. Right. That's the other thing. It's all shit you can easily replace. Oh, I lost a couple trees. Oh, I lost the boathouse. Oh, I lost the dock. Who fucking cares? This person lost a kid,

man. I just don't get it. You can't just fucking shit another kid out next week. You gotta go through a whole process. You know, we have to trust the Lord. He makes all things work together for good. Causes all things. Then he caused this.

He's fucking an asshole. This is it. But his whole argument is like, everything that happens is good, right? His argument right now is that there's no evil in the world. Yeah. That is his. All things are good. It's not only destiny, but destiny's perfect.

Right. Because God made destiny, right? Right. Destiny, by the way, is the little girl who died in the hurricane. Was destiny's child. Destiny, by the way, is the little girl who died in the hurricane. Was destiny's child. And if this is judgment from God, which I assure you it is, it's because he still loves us.

That's why he beats you. He only beats you because he loves you. He only beats you. That's literally the translation is, look, I wouldn't hit you like this if you'd clean the kitchen a little better. If you clean the kitchen better and I didn't love you this much. Hebrews 12 says he disciplines those whom he loves. And this is... How many abusers get away because of Hebrews 12? Right.

How many abusers in the world get away with beating the shit out of their kids or their wife or somebody else because they had a bible verse that said it's because i love you how many fucking shitty repressed marriages where somebody wants to fucking spank their wife is are they using hebrews 12 right i'll discipline you because I love you. I didn't clean the kitchen enough. Oh no, the laundry's not done. Come on with that shit. The wife's got a strap on cock with Hebrews 12. I can guarantee you is,

I don't care what happens in the next few days. And if you want to paint Hebrews 12 on a strap-on, all you have to do is go to adamandeve.com, enter Gloria at checkout. You'll get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing and free shipping. adamandeve.com, Gloria at checkout. A lot of it is going to look terrible on the news

and it's going to be bad for a lot of folks when you're going through it. It is bad. Even for those people who might have lost people, it's pretty bad. I like here because what's not said is like, it's bad for those people for whom it's bad. But let's be honest, that's not

most of us. That's not us. High five. It's going to work out to be a major, major blessing for this area. Now, Hurricane Maria was a major blessing for Puerto Rico. When is a hurricane like, man, it's a major blessing. We lucked out on these

FEMA trailers. Like, when is it a major blessing? Well, one of the people in like Katrina area, like high five for Katrina, guys. Yeah. You can still take bus tours of the devastation. Like two celebrities came and rebuilt a house.

Yeah. Right. Sean Penn showed up. It was like, Oh no, that's too much work for me. I'll just do one. Someone called Jimmy Carter.

Write me down for one. I'm good for one. It's like he bought a box of chocolate bars from a fucking, from a girl scout. Put me down for one. I'm good for one. Yeah. I got this one.

I'm going to take a lot of selfies while I build it. You're the high roller at your daughter's Girl Scout cookie table. That's about as far as it goes. And Lord showed me a few years ago, watch where the floods come. He said, because the natural first, then the spiritual, there will be a flood of the Holy Spirit in those same places. Yeah. That's semen, right?

He's talking about semen right now. And sometimes the Holy Spirit turns into a tree and squishes a little girl. It's a tree spirit. It's a tree spirit. It's fine. It's like wick. They're wickets now. so we want to thank all of our patrons

but we want to thank our newest patrons specifically Nicole Nick Dirty Paige Robert

Al trapped in South Carolina Betsy and Cornelius thanks so much for your generous donations you guys are the reason Glory Hole Studios exists you're the reason

we have an employee so thank you all for your generous donations. You guys are the reason Glory Hole Studios exists. You're the reason we have an employee. So thank you all for your generous donations. Got a message from Laura. Laura says, Dear Tom and Cecil, I had a dream that I was trying to tell

lots of other people in my dream about a dream that I had inside the dream, but none of the people in my dream wanted to hear about my dream. That's the best

inception dream I've ever heard. It's like Tom in Inception would have that. Like if Tom was the main character in Inception, he would just be screaming at that Japanese guy. I don't care! I don't care at all!

Stop telling me about your stupid dream! I don't care. I don't care at all. Stop telling me about your stupid dream. I don't care about your top. You're not wrong. We got a message. This is from John. And John says that the holy water cholera story may have been morphed from the tears of Christ, which was a sewage story that you and I talked about

for a long time ago. There's a gentleman there that came to QED. Yeah. Was it a QED or TAM? I remember we heard him spoke. Yeah, one or the other. I don't remember if it was TAM.

I think it was TAM. You're right. I think it was TAM. We went to TAM. We heard him speak and his name was Sanal? Yeah, Sanal out of Maruku. Yeah.

He got kicked out of India. He got kicked out of India. He got kicked out of India because he specifically went to this place and they had said that there was this holy water coming from the statue. He's like,

no, it's actually sewage. There's a way to prove it. Yeah, there's a leaking pipe, basically. Yeah, to prove it. And they didn't want to believe him. Right. And people were like,

drinking the water. Yeah, and it was a sewage pipe that they were drinking out of. But yeah, like, yeah, there might be a morphing of that story. It might just be that those two newspapers

happen to have leads that they didn't talk about because they never mention where they heard about cholera. And then they link specifically to BBC that doesn't talk about the holy water at all. So we got an image, and this is from Carter. And I like this. I've seen it around a couple times. It's an American flag and it says,

if you don't stand for this special song, the magic sky cloth won't freedom. I love it. We'll post it on this week's show notes. I love the wording on that. It's brilliant. Magic sky cloth won't freedom. I saw it in a couple of places and I thought,

yeah, this is fucking brilliant. So thank you Carter for sending it in. We got a message. This is from Sharon. And Sharon said they already created a Noah's Ark book, like we suggested to MJ last week.

And it's Awkward Moments Bible. So I'm going to put a link to the image gallery, specifically this particular image. And it's just Awkward Moments Bible. There's pieces of it where you just see the drowned people in the water. And it's just Awkward Moments Bible. There's pieces of it where you just see the drowned people in the water. And there's a dragon

and a bunch of... It looks awesome. It's awesome. It's so great. And everybody's smiling. And look at the two giraffes are smiling. It's great. So I'm going to put a link to this image on this week's show notes. The Awkward Moments Bible, I guess, is already something.

We got an image sent to us from Brian. And Brian sends a predator image. And I'm going to put it on this week's show notes. It's great. Oh, so bad. We got a message from Sean. And Sean said that an Australian girl recently refused to sing for the anthem at the school and was bullied by right-wing nutjobs.

So they have the same problems in Australia, I guess as well. Yeah. I don't, like I said, I don't know what it's like in other countries. Clearly, you know,

must be a tradition where you're from in Australia. I don't know what it's like. And I, I vaguely remember people standing in like when I watched the Olympics, when they do like the, when they do team games there and they sing the specific national anthem. I think the Olympics might be a little different because it's nationalistic by nature.

It's definitional. Yeah, that's true. I'm curious about Canada. I'm curious about the UK. I know. Is it the case in Germany? In Germany, they hold their arm at a really weird angle, too.

Do they stand up? And do they enforce it? Do they say, you know... Because they say at the beginning of every... Please rise for the national... Please rise for the... We say it. We say it to...

Even though you don't have to say it because everybody knows to rise. Right. So I'd be curious to hear from other countries. So that's going to wrap it up for this week. Now, remember, this show's going to release on Monday. So this Saturday,

if you're a patron, we're doing a patron-only Discord show that's going to be happening Saturday. We're hoping sometime midday, sometime between, I want to say between two and four, we're probably going to do it.

We're going to be doing like a full hour, hanging out, talking to people, not only chatting with people as they type to us on Discord, but also doing stories, playing clips, doing our normal shtick. And it's a patron-only Discord show. The show will eventually be for patrons

after we will record it and we'll post it for patrons. But if you want to interact with us, you want to hang out with us, remember Saturday is when we're doing it. we'll post it for patrons. But if you want to interact with us, you want to hang out with us. Remember Saturday is when we're doing it. We'll let you know the time as we get a little closer, we'll let you know what the time is. But but if you're thinking about becoming a patron,

this is a good time to become a patron. You can join our discord server and hang out. And and it's really fun because the latency on discord is very short. And so Pete, we are getting messages almost immediately as they come through and we're able to interact with people on a very, very quick basis, which is very different from what it was like on Facebook Live. It's very fun. The real-time nature of this is great. It's very different than what it was on Facebook Live because

we would say something and a minute later or something, a comment would come through that would be funny, but it's hard to go back to that moment. But with Discord, those comments come through and you just laugh as they start pouring out. But we have a great time with it. So if you want to join us on Discord, you can become a patron for as little as a dollar a show, and you can join us for our Discord show. That's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. you like we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment

Leo Pisces cancer cures, detox, reflex foot massage, death in towers tarot cards, psychic healing crystal balls, bigfoot, yeti aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons giant worms, Atlantis

dolphins, truthers, birthers witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption.

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