Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 438: Obserbation

Episode Date: October 15, 2018

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Just go to AdamandEve.com and type in GLORY, that's G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout, and you'll get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing, and free shipping. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from gloryhole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical.

It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 438, and it is evidently the second fucking flood. The great flood is occurring outside our studio right now. So, Cecil, if the shit gets shorted out because we flood on the sixth floor, it's been nice knowing you. Have there been a tsunami in Chicago?

Here's the thing, though. I don't trust this roof not to leak. I barely trust this building to stay standing. Everybody who's been to the glory hole recognizes it's got to have a leaky roof. Everybody who's been to the glory hole recognizes it's got to have a leaky roof. Everybody who's been to the glory hole knows it gets a little sloppy. Yeah, it gets a little wet in there. That's why we have

these plastic covers for everything. It's the only time it gets wet in my experience. I usually have to bring the wet. For the same reason grandma had the plastic on the couches because there was just jizz flying all over the place. That's why. The point is that we've got to rewrite the

federal government. Now, this is not going to happen overnight. It took 130 years to bring us to where we are today. It could probably take 50 years to turn it around. But if we stand on the Constitution, then everything else comes together.

So, he's also right when we watch this. Michelle O'Bachman, we are living in an unparalleled golden time under Trump. Do you want to use golden when you talk about Trump? That seems like language you want to protect. Maybe steer away from that. Is that what you're saying? Let's not talk about golden

times. I read an article the other day that said some disgusting habits that your partner might not want to appreciate. And it was just one of those not want to appreciate. And, uh, it was just like one of those clickbaity things, you know?

And so I, I, I followed the stupid clickbait article and it was like, like one of them was like, if you're showering with your partner, don't pee in the shower. And I was like, well,

if only we could get that message through to our president when traveling for work, I know, you know, God, just, and I also thought like, who doesn't know that?

It had to make its way into it. It was just like, I don't know, we were showering together and I just had to pee. I peed on her. Yeah. Maybe golden gay time is not the time to eat. Golden gay time? It's a food.

It is. It's an Australian. It's a golden gay time. I an Australian It's a Golden Gay Time I tried one That's right Did you try one when we were in Australia? Did you have a Golden Gay Time? I did not have a Golden Gay Time

Was it Is it an ice cream? It's an ice cream Yeah Okay Yeah I had a Golden Gay Time It's like a chocolate

a Claire ice cream what we would call a chocolate of Claire They have a lot of different flavors of them but it's the same exact It's like the chocolate of Claire where they have like

a strawberry Golden Gay Time But it's covered with like the crunchies on the outside and whatever. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's exactly what you think. It's better than the licorice we've tried. It's a little hard on the outside. And then when you work a little bit, it's softer on the inside. Oh, okay. That's exactly. So it's like what happens when

you freeze urine. I don't ever pee in the shower, but I definitely bring frozen urine into the shower so it can melt. I think it's gross. I shit in the shower like all good people, but I wouldn't pee in there. I would never pee in there. That's fucking weird. I actually poop in the bathroom, but I only poop on the floor in the bathroom.

I'm getting a divorce. Two years ago, I believe that the prayers that God's people made to ask God for his provision were heard. God went to Michigan and he stumped for Trump. God went to Wisconsin and Pennsylvania and Florida and all the states. I like that God still has to work through all these different like bureaucratic mechanisms. Absolutely, man. God's like, man, can't we just do

the popular vote? I hate the electoral college. Gotta go to all these weird places. I gotta bring Nate Silver up here and talk to him about how all this works. It's complicated. I don't know which places to stump.

I don't know where to go. She's losing. She's about by two points here. Is it worth going there? I don't know. And I can't be everywhere at one time. I mean, I am omniscient and omnipresent, but... I already knew who was going to win,

but then I needed you to ask real nice so I could make it happen. And to do the work to get it done. But I don't even know why it matters who wins, because if I just want the result, I can just go right to the result. All I did was just make y'all vote that way, or I just made the vote that way. It literally doesn't make any sense.

It's so fucking funny. This worldview is fucking crazy. They were heard and granted and for two years we have lived in an unparalleled golden time in the United States. That's a little bit of a risky dress. Risqué dress.

Don't you think for her to be wearing something like that up there, it's like a single shoulder in front of a bunch of religious people? In front of a bunch of conservatives? She should just expect to be raped. I was going to say, maybe she's asking for it. I think we're going to blame the victim on this one. You never know that if you turned on MSNBC or

CNN, but we are living in an unparalleled golden time. Okay, I can't wait to hear why, though. Yeah. Because that's the most important part, is like, what's the unparalleled golden time that we're living? Well, if you yell it at me long enough, I'm going to believe it, right? That's

the only thing that has to happen here, because if you're not a rich white guy, things have not gotten better. Yeah. Like, if you're... And that's really true of the people who elected Trump. I had this conversation the other day with this guy at work that I talk to sometimes. And I was like, look, man,

I'm going to be okay. I will always be okay. Because I'm an upper middle class, heterosexual, white guy. The world loves me. We built a world to love me. I'm always going to be okay. The thing is, like, the people who elected Trump are the Rust Belt people, the coal mine people.

They're not getting jobs back. Unemployment is down, but wages haven't gone up. Good jobs aren't in. Wage stagnation has continued unabated for 40-plus years. The economy, you know, I was talking to this guy. He's like, well, Wall Street's doing better than ever. Who cares? I'm like, what does that do for me? He's like, what about your 401 your 401k i'm like a 401k doesn't mean shit to me until i'm 70 yeah i gotta pay my mortgage tomorrow and i'm okay but like

most people don't invest in the stock market like most of the wealth is accumulated in the top two or three percent like who gives a shit if all those people are doing better and he's like well it'll trickle down i'm like don't use those words you can't use those words it hasn't yet these fucking rich motherfuckers can't understand yeah they can't understand they're like well my stock portfolio is killing it well and then they'll say everybody's ship is rising it's like our ships aren't rising well they say shit like well hey you know uh there's more jobs than there ever were and you're like yeah but if the jobs don't pay shit and i gotta get two of them what the fuck do i care if there's more jobs right there's just more fucking poverty for me to fucking wallow in yeah i

i'm i'm working harder than i've ever i would rather be poor and not working than poor and working like if my if my life circumstances don't change right like? Like if I have to wake up and eat shit all day and feel awful about myself and have food insecurity and have housing insecurity and wonder how my family's going to get by, if I still have to do all that, well, I guess I'd rather stay at home. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Because there is no path. For most of America, there is no path through work past a level of grind. Most people are going to, most of America, 50% or more, are going to wake up and they are going to grind their whole lives and barely squeak by. And we know that's true because it's just statistically true. Because most of America is barely making it or not making it as is.

So it's not a controversial thing to say. It's just a fucking truth about more than 50% of this fucking country. So it's like, you know, like you were saying, what good is having fucking two jobs that still keeps me poor? Now I'm poor and exhausted.

That's worse. That's way worse. That's worse. We've created a system for these guys to get richer all the time. There's never going to be a moment if you created the rules for you to make a rule that makes you lose. Right. You're not going to do that.

You don't make those rules. You never do that. So when these guys, these rich guys come out, we're doing better than ever. Yeah, because you made the rules to make it so you're going to do better than ever. Every single time you're always going to do better than ever. If you start rich. Yeah. Nothing else about that story matters. If you

start rich, and I don't start rich, the guy who started rich wins every time. I mean, every statistically significant time. There might be an outlier here, that doesn't matter. They win every time, because money begets money. That's all that you need to know, is that money

begets money. So if I have that's all that you need to know is that money begets money. So if I have, you know, if I have $2 million and you have $25 and we both started the same place in our lives, well, we both went to the same school. We both got the same degree. I got out, I had $2 million. How many risks did you take? Oh, you can take all the risks. You can take any risk.

You can take all the risks you want to take. You can take risks. You can get jobs. You can leave jobs. You can not take jobs that aren't the right job. Right. I got out of school. I have crushing amounts of debt and 40 bucks in my pocket.

What are my jobs? I'm going to take the first thing that comes along that puts enough money in my pocket to put gas in my car. Yeah. Who gets ahead? 100% of the time. And that's like two people with an education with the same, you know, like you could make a lot of other things equal.

Money is the only thing that makes the biggest predictor of who's going to have more money is who started out with money. Yeah. That's it. The biggest predictor of success is how much money your parents had. I'm talking about financial success. Yeah. It's funny too, because you hear the Kavanaugh hearings and Kavanaugh was talking about how he's like, you know, I didn't get into Yale because I knew somebody I got into Yale because I worked my butt off. It's like you got into Yale because you came from a place where your friends went to country clubs. That's why you went to Yale, dude. Let's stop pretending

that you were, you know, some inner city kid busting your ass to try to get the good grades in a shitty public school that didn't teach you fuck all. Well, and like, I don't want to take it away. Like, if you work really hard, I'm not saying you didn't work really hard. I'm saying that, like, you worked really hard within a system that is set up to reward that kind of work.

And it's also set up specifically to reward you. There's a reason why you were able to have. Like, look, take that person that goes to those country clubs and then you fund the public schools based on those property taxes. That person's going to just have a better education, period. The end of story. There's nowhere in Chicago, inner city, that you're going to pull a kid, I don't care if it's the brightest kid there, that's going to have the same opportunities that that guy had, that Brett Kavanaugh or anybody else who comes from a country club place. They're just going to have more opportunities. It just opens the door for them. They've stacked the deck, man. And we all know this to be true because even just think about this anecdotally, like

when people are looking to buy a home or move into a home that has a family, what are the things that people ask? How are the schools? That is what drives home sales. I'm telling you as somebody in this industry, that is what drives home sales for families, is school district. School districts are funded by the money paid by property taxes. It's like, you know, I will say from personal experience, I went to a very good high school. When I got to college, college was very easy for the first two years of college. It was very, very easy. It wasn't more work than my high school was. It wasn't more intellectually challenging than my high school was. It was the same. It was like waking up and doing the same shit I'd already done for fucking 730 days. It was fucking easy.

It's funny because I had the exact opposite experience. Many, many people have. Yeah. But I had the luck, and it is fucking straight luck, to go to this school instead of that school, right? Yeah. I was pushed into the technical department in my, in my, in my high school. They specifically veered me away from any academic course because they never thought I was going to go to college anyway. Right. So they were like,

just go to the fucking shop class and be a burnout and go do that. That's what you're going to be. You're going to be a fucking auto tech dude. Just embrace that shit. And so, yeah, I had a few classes that were somewhat advanced. I never made it to calculus. I made it to trigonometry. I never made it to AP English, but I did have four years of English. But when I left, I wasn't significantly, I never, I wasn't significantly ready to go to college. And I actually took a break after I left high school specifically because I didn't have any, I didn't even know how to go to college. I didn't know. I didn't know I could even take a loan out to go to college. It didn't even, nobody ever told me that because I didn't, nobody in my

family ever went to college before and no guidance counselor ever thought I was going to be in a college seat. So that was information that was useless to tell me. So they never bothered. So I was in a totally exact opposite position. I go to college and I'm fucking lost. I'm buried. I'm drowning because I don't understand how fucking academics work because I never was challenged growing through school because I was a fucking drawing shit and building lamps. So I had the exact opposite experience. Right. And I, and I recognize that that is a stunt. That's something that stunted me.

That was a stunt in my growth. I had to grow afterwards. It was a difficult thing for me to do. Many people don't get past there. I was lucky enough to have a couple of things fall into place for me to do that sort of thing. But it was never anything that I did. Do I say that? We have the president who's made the most pro-life actions of any president ever.

Because we're all single issue voters. That's why. Because the only thing we care about is whether or not babies are aborted. But we certainly don't give a fuck about them once they come out. We have a president who has been the most pro-israel president ever in the history of the united states of america you think he's more pro-life and more pro-israel than george w was or george senior was well i will say he's more pro-israel i think he is w i think so he did the jerusalem thing he did do that you're right and i think that that's and that's total pandering on their part. I think W for his incons is, I mean, he's just incompetence as a Statesman.

He at least understood that that was a bad policy, that that was going to cause more violence and it was not going to be a good thing. Yeah. I don't think we've had a president that has not supported Israel. Oh no. You know,, I agree that Trump might be more, but it's like you're already, like, you're already balls deep. Now you're just kissing a little. Yeah, two fingers and a fist is not that big of a deal.

Two fingers and a fist is a big difference, actually. That's junior varsity to varsity. Our president has put the United States on a pathway of blessing, a singular pathway of blessing. We have the most pro-religious liberty president in the history of the United States. No, religious liberty means Christian.

Yeah, I don't know. Let me ask you a question, Michelle. Is there going to be a Muslim speaking after you? Because if not, I'm going to have to go hard no. And by the way, there's a Sandy Rios from this exact same conference that you posted. It was a Sandy Rios. We may or may not get to it. But where she

talks about how she basically says Islam is a horrible, shitty religion. Yeah. And you're just like, I don't understand. I don't understand how these two things work. I'll agree with you. Also, yours is too. Yeah. Like, too cool.

History of the United States. Ever. Doesn't she just feel like she's going to bake you a blueberry buckle? Even when she talks to you, she feels like a grandma. She feels like somebody who's trying to tell you something as a, like, she really just feels, you know, Sarah Palin did that fake folksy shit. She really

feels folksy. Well, yeah, she's hard Minnesota, man. Yeah. Like, this is just hard northern Midwest kind of, you know, that's just who that, that's that whole garbage part of the world where, like, nobody. Where they're stuffing people in woodshed for Christmas. Man, it fucking snows like 11 months out of the world where like nobody... Where they're stuffing people in woodchip. Man, it fucking snows

like 11 months out of the year. Have you watched Fargo recently? No. Should I? Man, it's a good movie. I liked that movie when I saw it. It's a really good movie

and that woman in there, I don't know her name, the lady who... The lady cop. The lady cop. And she's a famous actress. She won... I think she won

an Academy Award last year for another movie. Oh, she good in that movie. Is she another movie. Oh, she good in that movie. Is she? Oh, she's so good in that movie. It's been so long. And so is the bad guy who's the car dealer.

Again, another guy I don't know. I don't know anybody's fucking name in Hollywood, but that guy's really good in it too. I remember the acting being good. I remember the show

being a really good movie. Steve Buscemi is one person I remember. He's in that. He's also very good. That's just because he's horrifying. So his visage is burned into your memory. Such a really good movie. Steve Buscemi is one person I remember. He's in that. He's also very good. That's just because he's horrifying. So his visage is burned into your memory.

Such a weird looking dude. He's a horror. Is he funny looking? That's what they say throughout the whole thing. He's a funny looking guy? He got cast because he's funny looking. I was going to say like, you know, like, or they just added that to the plot after they cast him.

When you're an actor and like, you're like're weird looking and you read the script and it's like, oh, I'm playing a weird looking guy. Then the makeup artist is like, go ahead and... They're just waving at you. No, come on in. They just look over like, you're good. You're all set. You'll be fine. Yeah, shouldn't we touch this up? No. Exactly how

I thought you should look. All right. Here's the creature from the Black Lagoon without makeup. He is doing more to advance religious liberty, not just in America, but globally. What? I don't know what that means. Religious liberty globally? Like, we can't do shit in another country. What does that even mean?

I think religious liberty is the euphemism that they all know for spreading Christianity. Yeah, I think you're right. Right? Yeah, that's the words they're using, but it doesn't mean what you think it means. And they all know it means something else. They're all like, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Don't ever look inconceivable up in a dictionary.

Best vice president we could have ever had in Mike Pence. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I won't disagree with them on that. They really, really do like Mike Pence. They do, and do like Mike Pence. They do. And the vice presidential position is really important because the vice president does... Hmm.

Well, he might fuck his wife with a sheet in between. But other than that, I don't know what he does. He did vote on one thing, though, didn't he? Wasn't there a 50-50 split and he voted on one thing? I don't know. I thought he did. Did they have to wake him up to do it? Did they have to get him out of bed in the middle of the afternoon to do it?

What a great job. Could you imagine it'd be like the guy from like Step Brothers or whatever? You're just in your bathrobe wandering around the White House all day. Do the vice president, do they have their own quarters somewhere? Do they live in the White House? But do they have like a house that is bought for them? And do they have like a White House residence? Like a parsonage or whatever?

Like they have a coach house up there. They got like a shitty apartment down the road. Donald Trump's car. Bring the horses around from the coach house. He brings Ann Coulter up. Julia Roberts comes in. They put a bit in her mouth. We have Sam Brownback

as our ambassador for religious liberty. We have a well. What does that even mean? What is an ambassador for? Hi, I'm from religious liberty. Oh, that's not a place. Ambassadors are from places.

I don't know, but I hope, I hope, hope, hope that it's like 300 and someone kicks him down a well. Of jewels and just the people that our president is putting

into positions of leadership like John Bolton, who's the head of national security, who also recognizes the primacy of defending religious liberty here and abroad. Which has nothing to do with national security. Literally nothing.

This is a nightmare. You're describing a nightmare. Zero things. Everything she said. Everything she said about the golden gay time of our lives right now. Oh, that's amazing. It's just like, look, guys, we need to make sure we get somebody who's a crusader in here for religious liberty. Right?

It's exactly true. It comes to every meeting of national security with a giant shield with a cross on it. You wear your armor everywhere, John. We get it. God, I can hear you clanking down the hall when you're here. Do you see what a golden day that we have been given, let alone the economics, where yesterday we had just another powerful breakthrough, or the day before, of the stock market on the economy, on foreign policy.

A powerful breakthrough of the stock market on the economy. Out loud, she said she had the fucking unmitigated temerity to utter that nonsense out loud in front of a bunch of jeering, howling monkeys. And again, like you said, the stock market doesn't mean anything to most people. It's not an indicator of really anything. It's a terrible indicator of the true economic success of this country. Policy levels, domestic policy levels on every possible level. America is killing it. We are doing great in every possible metric. Unless, of course, you're poor when you're coming into this. Or of color. Or Rust Belt. Right. You could be a poor

person, a person of color, a woman, a gay person. Those folks are, of course, absolutely. Yeah. From all these wins that we're having. The environment is exclusively excluded and everybody who takes part in the environment, which is all of us. So other than those folks, hashtag Tiger Blending. And I believe that's because God's people utilized the tool that he gave us. And he is a tool.

Yeah. That guy is a fucking tool. Yeah. The tool that they utilized was angering certain people in certain parts of the country to motivate them. And then another tool that was utilized

was basically saying that the election didn't matter. You know, she says we're winning by every conceivable metric. Like, what about if one of the metrics was how many neo-Nazi rallies have we had? That seems like a good metric to have.

Because I feel like one is too many. Adding one into that seems like a lot. You are watching the beginning and the birth of the new world order. And you want to call me crazy? Go to hell. Call me crazy all you want. This is the story from Right Wing Watch.

This is Mark Taylor. Mark Taylor is the firefighter prophet. Firefighter prophet. I don't still know what that means. Firefighter prophet. Like, hey, maybe tell me where the fires are before there's fires there. That would be the most useful firefighter prophet. Like, hey, maybe tell me where the fires are before there's fires there. That would be the most useful firefighter ever

because you could just stop the fire. You have prophecy powers if you're the firefighter. Yeah. You could do like that. What was that? Minority report? Like you could like have pre-crime units. You know, it's interesting because it's the reason

why he's a firefighter prophet is because he quit being a firefighter to be a prophet. Yeah. Right. Because he found that more profitable. God couldn't have been like, yeah, right.

Before he worked like one 24 hour shift at two days off. Like he's like, I don't really work at all anymore. I just make shit up and idiots pay me for it. So, yeah. So this is him. He's actually on the Zelinsky show here.

So Sheila Zelinsky's podcast. So you'll, you'll hear Sheila Zelinsky once in a while pipe in, but it's basically Mark talking about just what Mark talks about. Well, I think what's happening is behind the scenes. And again, I know people are going to say this is way out. Nothing you talk about happens in front of the scenes. Let's just get that out of the way, right?

These guys always are like, well, hold on. It's all happening where you can't see it. Exactly, where no one can verify it way out there i had three possibly four things that the lord showed me on this weather stuff uh you don't remember if it was three or four but like they're so insignificant that you're like i can't be sure that one of them was one of the things like like if god shows you four things you're like god showed me four things not god showed me three maybe four i'm not not, you know, I don't know if that fourth one was a

thing or not. It might have just been that there was two yolks in my egg. I don't know if God was showing me something. You can't count to four or remember four things. When the omniscient creator of all life is like, I got four things today. He's like, I gotta write

them on my hand. I'm fucking Sarah Palin stupid's like, I got to write them on my hand. I'm fucking Sarah Palin stupid. Hold on. I got to count them on my things. One, two, three, three, one.

You know, the California fires, the Lord showed me and people were saying, oh, he's crazy. I had it literally vetted by one 46 minute video by Dane Wigington.

Does he know what vetted means? Because if somebody made a video about something, that doesn't mean it's vetted. Because I can make a video right now about something that is totally not true. I don't know if I'm supposed to be impressed by Dane Whittington right now. I like, yeah. Like, am I supposed to like, my hair is supposed to stand on end? Here's'm supposed to be impressed by Dane Whittington right now. I like, yeah. Like, am I supposed to like my hair is supposed to stand on end. Here's how I'll be impressed.

I'll be impressed. If Sheila knows him, not Dane Whittington, the Dane Whittington. Nobody's ever heard of Dane. I highly recommend you go to his website. G O engineering watch.org. Oh God.

Never go to that website. Now, come on, Tom. geoengineeringwatch.org. I will never go to that website. Now, come on, Tom. Have you ever heard of a more credible name than geoengineeringwatch.org, Tom?

It's an organization. I would, yeah, that's how you know it's legit. The.org is what lends it credibility. It would only be more credible if it was geoengineering.gov. I would sooner break my computer than go to that website. If that website was a fake website that only showed porn, I still wouldn't go there.

Every answer you want, you can spend six months on that website. Every answer I want. Every single answer I want. I don't even know what the questions are right now. Also, I've never spent six months on any website. How slow of a reader is Mark Taylor? I know, like how much content do you have? You're sounding it all out.

Yeah, like what are you, Library of Congress? What the fuck? You know, like is this website like Time Cube crazy where it's just miles long? Turns out that guy was actually crazy. Yeah, well, it's not actually surprising. Was there a sad story about him? Somebody,

a listener sent us a sad YouTube documentary, which I don't know. I don't have no way to know if that's true either, but like, according to that, according to that, he was an unwell man. So it was vetted by one 46 minute video.

Was Dane Whittington involved of the Whittingtons? Of the Whittingtons. This man has the proof of what's been going on. And he even vetted and verified it. Yes, they have the technology to create hurricanes, steer them. How did he vet that? You don't know what vetted means, man. Well, he said he vetted it.

So that's how you know something. Cecil, Cecil, I'm going to teach you because you don't know. I'm excited to learn. Here's how things are verified. If I say I checked it with my sources, for example, way more credibility. If I just say something crazy, like the government can build a hurricane

out of like, I don't know, like cloud Legos or whatever they use. You know what you can build a hurricane out of though? Water vapor and the ocean. And climate change. And a jet stream. But that would be ridiculous. If you want to build a hurricane,

first, start with the universe. I'm not so sure with some of the stuff that was going down that it was a Cat 4 or 5 coming in. This thing was coming in hot. And then God said not. And so I think... And then God said not. And so I think it's a God said, no, no, no, no, no. I don't understand. Okay. So we

have a weather machine that creates the hurricane, but we don't have the brakes on that weather machine. No, I, I, I think I'm not sure what he said right there because I think nothing made any sense. I think he suggested that the weather machine was man, the weather was manmade. The hurricane was man-made

and it was a category four or five and it was coming in hot. And then God said, no. God said, so... Are you guys turning on my hurricane machine? It's like yelling at the kids to stop fucking with the thermostat. He's like, I like your shirt. Not!

Not! Jesus Christ. Not humor is amazing, by the way. That is the pinnacle. That is... That's it.

Understand this, folks. We reached our pinnacle with Pee Wee Herman. You know, I just saw that. I saw Pee Wee Herman Big Adventure for the first time ever

a few weeks ago. I didn't watch Pee Wee Herman as a kid. I the first time ever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A few weeks. I didn't watch Pee Wee Herman as a kid. I think I missed it. I was a little too old. I was a little too old. So I did see his movie, but I didn't see anything else other than like that single movie. Yeah, I saw Pee Wee's Big Adventure the other, like, I don't know, a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago, yeah.

And it actually held up. Like, it was an entertaining. It's a funny movie. From when I was a kid, I remember. But I was't a super young kid, but I did see it and was like, oh, okay. But I wasn't young enough to watch... Because he was like a little kid

show when I was a kid. For Playhouse. He was Playhouse. I thought it was like a little kid show, so I never turned it on when I was... I did too. I remember being aware of it, but I never watched. I never watched it. Like most of the shows on Nickelodeon, I never watched either. Like I it. It's like most of the shows on Nickelodeon, I never watched either.

Like I never watched a lot of those shows that were on Nickelodeon. Yeah, I didn't do Nickelodeon. We didn't have cable for a lot of my youth. And the times that we did, I was never a thing. Like I only vaguely know about like, you can't do that on television.

And when they said, I don't know, they would spill the slime on. I'm like, I vaguely know. Was that Double Dare? Was that Double Dare? I don't know. Maybe that's. I remember watching a show called Double Dare where they had like, they had kids like do challenges, dressed in jumpsuits. No, but there's like I'm like, I vaguely know. Was that Double Dare? Was that Double Dare? I don't know. Maybe that's... I remember watching a show called Double Dare where they had

kids do challenges dressed in jumpsuits. No, but there's a specific... There was another show called... I think it was a sketch comedy show for kids called You Can't Do That on Television. I had the hots for one of those girls because I thought she was super cute. Did you? Yeah, the girl with the curly hair. I thought she was super cute. Oh, that's funny. It's funny to look back

at your crushes when you were a kid and you're like... I had a hots for a lot of girls when I was a kid. I got to be really frank, man. Like pretty much any girl on any show. I was like, nope, that's my girlfriend.

Any girl on any show. Doesn't matter. Golden girl. It's like Blanche. The things I would do to Blanche. Not Blanche. What are you talking about? Bea Arthur is the shit, dude.

I'm going for Bea Arthur. She's lean and tall. Kidding me? In those old sneaks she used to wear? Caliente. She's lean and tall? Kidding me? In those old sneaks she used to wear? Caliente. It's twofold. One,

I think that the army of God is doing their job and warring against this thing. But what we have to realize is that there's technology behind this, and we've got to get to the root.

We've got to be praying against the technology behind this. They've got to be praying against the technology? Can't you just break technology? Like, you don't even have to pray. You could just break it.

Well, I just could, Anti, just build a technology that thwarts the first technology. But like... Hurricane fights would be amazing, Tom. Oh. Could you imagine hurricane fights? It'd be like two tops in a box spinning around banging into each other.

You'd like to throw one hurricane at another hurricane and then it dissipates. Someone who knows about weather, tell me if that's a thing that happens, if a hurricane could hit another hurricane. Oh, that would be amazing. Would they just join forces into some... Yeah, would they get a super hurricane, or would they cancel each other out? Weather stuff. They have the technology to create these storms, earthquakes, all this stuff.

This guy verified... Wait, now he's talking about earthquakes? That's not a storm. I love the guys that think that the earthquake is weather. These guys think that the earthquake and earthquake is weather. Like, oh, it's cloudy with a chance of

earthquakes. Is it going to rain or is it going to earthquake today? Alexa, what's the earthquake today? Every bit of it and exposes every bit of it. Yeah, I've had them on in the past and I'm going to say Dane's very good, just FYI. Okay, the seal

of approval by Sheila Zielinski, guys, you need to go to geopoliticalwatch.org. It's not even something that interesting. It was like geo weather engineering. Isn't it? God, I'm going to kill myself. This is the stupidest shit I've ever heard.

Absolutely. And even Kevin Schiff introduces him, which gives him even more validity. Who introduces you is how you're... Kevin Schiff introduces him. And we all know Kevin Schiff. Kevin Schiff doesn't know who Kevin Schiff is. Every time

people ask him, he has to open his wallet to find out who he is. He checks his underwear to see what his mom wrote on it. If you noticed yesterday, all of the, we had 13 observatories worldwide went down. The cameras went down.

That's a little strange, don't you think? And then all of a sudden, this thing gets downgraded to a cat one. Little curious, Mark. Yeah. First of all,

you pronounced it observatory. So I already, you had a W-ism when you pronounced it observatory. So I already... You had a W-ism when you pronounced it. So I don't know. How did he used to say... What did he say? Nuclear? He used to say nuclear. Nuclear.

Nuclear. Nuclear. He did come up with one of my favorite words, which I actually use unironically and think there should be a word for mis-underestimate. Mis-underestimate. I love that word. You know what it means when it's said and like it's useful.

And there is no word that means that. Mis-underestimate. Wouldn't underestimate just be it, though? No, if you underestimated me, then you just underestimated me. But if you underestimated me in error, meaning you should not have underestimated me, you mis-underestimated me. I think that's a useful word. But it's not a word? It's not a word.

And he used it in a speech and everybody made fun of him and I'm like, okay, it's not a word but like, okay, but I'll give you that one. I'll give you that one. I'm taking that word. Yeah, so I'm thinking that maybe the president and the White Hats were sending a message to the cabal that you're no longer in control, that we now are controlling this. Wait, okay, I don't understand this at all.

So they shut down the observatories? And that's how they're showing their power? Here's what happened. Okay. An evil cabal. Okay, there's an evil cabal. So let's award the evil cabal. Has a hurricane gun.

Machine. Gun a hurricane gun. Gun. Machine. Gun, machine, gun. And it shot Hurricane Florence out into the middle of the ocean and then sent it barreling toward America. Missing the entire coast where it could have probably

gained other steam. Don't worry about that. No, but I mean, I think that it's necessary. An unpredictable random pattern where we didn't know how big or where it was going to strike.

So the evil cabal shot the hurricane into the ocean and sent it careening toward the U.S. And then God said no, but that doesn't count. And then the White House said the evil cabal, somebody burst in the room like, the evil cabal shot a hurricane! And they're like, we'll get our un-hurricaning gun out. The evil cabal phone rang

on the desk and he picked up the EI. And then they shot a no-hurricanes juiced gun at the observatories? rang on the desk and he picked up the EI. And then they shot a no-hurricanes-juiced gun. At the observatories? How do they shut down the observatories so you don't see the signs of the gun? It's embarrassing. You gotta turn the lights down a little. It's magic

if you turn the lights down. It's better if you just feel your way through this one. It's really unimpressive with the lights on. It looks like a mushroom with yeti hair. I'm wondering if they were somehow went into the storm technology wise, where they couldn't see it with the cameras on the observatories and kind of took this thing down a little bit.

Now I don't, I don't know what that means. They, they flew into it with un hurricane power and they reduced the hurricane osity. He cannot articulate a clear narrative for who did what and then what was done in response. None of this,

it's just like, it's just stating shit that didn't happen more. Just saying it more and more and more. Do you like to fuck? Well, the guys at Cognitive Dissonance want to help you out. It doesn't

matter if you fuck yourself, someone else, or lots of someone else's. Their sponsor, adamandeve.com, has all kinds of things to make fucking more interesting and more fun. Right now at adamandeve.com, if you type in glory at checkout, you get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing, and free shipping. AdamandEve.com. Treat your genitals to a good time. Oh, my God. This is amazing. So things are not going well for Alex Jones.

Oh, poor Alex. And Alex Jones is getting increasingly desperate to be seen. So he's increasingly trying to find ways to be visible away from the platforms that he's been removed from. And so he's been removed now from the payment platform of PayPal. So PayPal was the payment engine that powered the merchant piece of his website. And PayPal is like, you got like three weeks or 30 days or whatever it is to figure something out because we're not, we're not processing payments

for you anymore. And I wonder like, is this, is this the death knell of the Alex Jones InfoWars empire? And it's funny because it doesn't stop him

from taking payments, right? Like, like this is the thing. PayPal is just easy, right? YouTube's just easy. Twitter is just easy, right? It, like this is the thing. PayPal is just easy, right? YouTube's just easy. Twitter is just easy, right? It doesn't stop you from communicating with tons of people all the

time. It does. It never stops you from doing that. It also never stops you from taking payments. You can use plenty of other people. Yeah, they can make you check. You can use square, maybe, maybe square. I'll let you do it. Or maybe some other payment service that is out there. I'm sure there's plenty of other online payment services. You could also set up your own merchant account and then, you know, have an e-commerce section of your website that people go to and donate money to that you just take the payments yourself. That there's going to be a credit card that comes in and then you run that credit card number and then you take that credit card number and you get the money that they said

that you're supposed to get. And then you create a report. PayPal just makes it easy for you to do that, Right. But you can do all that on your own. Nobody's stopping you from doing it. What they are doing is limiting your access to things that people are familiar with. I'm familiar with YouTube. I'm familiar with PayPal. I'm familiar with all these other websites that I, that I go and do my social media on, that I go and watch my videos on. And then I go and do my banking and payments on. And so when they start taking these things away from him, they start isolating him

to only the places that he can, you know, that he can only reach people directly, not through, you know, through these other extra areas, and also make it harder for people that also give him money and interact with him. And it's really had a major effect on him. Oh, yeah.

Oh, it's, it's, this is, this is devastating to him. You know, like Apple pulled his, his app. Facebook pulled him, Twitter pulled him, Spotify pulled him, you know, like now, like, but you know, his freedom of speech is not impinged. I like, I want to be really clear about that.

Like, cause that's been his, his fucking rallying cry this whole time is that like all of these different companies that each make independent decisions about how they run their businesses. This is not a top down decision. I would have a problem with this if this was a top down decision. Right. I might this might that that argument about freedom of speech might fly if it came from the government. If the government said Facebook, Twitter, Spotify, Apple, you guys cannot work with Alex Jones anymore. The government did that. I might say,

I'll listen to that conversation. Let's have that conversation. But these companies all independently decided what they want to allow on their platform and through their business model. That's all they did. That's the only thing that happened here. Well, and the other thing that you have the opportunity to do, if you disagree with this, right? If you think, oh no, Alex Jones should have the, then you have the opportunity to stop using PayPal. You have the opportunity to stop using Twitter. You have the opportunity to stop using these other websites,

YouTube, other things. You can just delete the YouTube app from your phone and never go there again. If you think they're doing the wrong thing, vote with your dollar, man. Don't go back. If you think that they're violating somebody's freedom of speech, it's just like the same thing if somebody, if I thought like a company

was discriminating against gay people. I would not shop. I stopped shopping at Hobby Lobby. I used to shop at Hobby Lobby all the time. My wife used to buy frames from there. We used to go there all the time. I hated that fucking store. I'm glad to not give them money anymore. But to be perfectly frank,

they had cheap frames. They looked good. My wife frames a lot of her art. And so we used to go there all the time and we used to give them a lot of money and we don't do it anymore. We source our frames differently now. And I don't shop at Chick-fil-A

because they donated money to gay, anti-gay groups. I just don't go there. That's okay. I vote with my dollar. If YouTube did the same thing, if it did something that I thought was morally reprehensible, silencing someone's voice, that's awful, right? If I think that there's a reason for them, then just don't go there.

You have every opportunity to not use that thing, just as they have every opportunity to not give that thing away to somebody else. Yeah. So Alex Jones is now off PayPal. But he still has the right to stand on the street corner and yell. He just can't use somebody else's bullhorn. He still has the right to accept payments by mail. Or like you said, he can create his own electronic platform. He can still take money. This does not mean that he can't take money anymore. And again, it's not a top-down approach. This is a ground-up approach. And I want to mention why they're doing this, right? And I think that the reason why they're doing it is also, in my opinion, justified. I think the things he's saying are

dangerous. And I think they're dangerous, specifically the talking about the Sandy Hook stuff. You know, when you're talking about stuff like this, and you're saying that those people are actors, that it's a false flag, that this is a way in which for the government to come in and take a freedom from you. And you're lying about something that you have no evidence for. And you're accusing a bunch of people, not just one or two people. We're talking about a bunch of people of lying so that there can be an attack on your personal freedom. That can cause people to act. an attack on your personal freedom, that can cause people to act.

It's already caused people to act when he's lied on his show and produced other stuff about the Comet Pizza place. Right. Someone acted on that, and that was about little kids possibly being raped in the basement.

Someone went there with a fucking semi-automatic weapon, a long gun, and walked in, held people at gunpoint. There was a showdown at one point. This can happen to these poor people who have already had a devastating loss in their life. This can happen to them again. And so it's dangerous. It is dangerous speech. It's not just freedom of speech. Oh, I guess he can just be a Republican.

That's not this, man. This is a dangerous thing he's doing. He is stoking the fires to get people upset about something that they really, really care about. You know, like I want to talk to you about that because I know that there's a lot of like controversy right now about whether or not social media platforms are, you know, and Google, even in their search results, are weighing one side unfairly over another. Even if that were true, they have every right to do it. They have every right. They're just private companies. They have every right. If Facebook or Twitter or Google decided tomorrow to not return results that were left-leaning or right-leaning, to just ban them. You've got nothing to say about that, except for I don't like that and I don't want to use those services anymore. Yeah. Just duck, duck, go, man.

They have every right to do that. That's the part that I find fucking baffling. And the return argument I know is like, well, these companies are so big and they're ubiquitous and they're the ones that you use. So then the next conversation that we would then have to have is, are these then monopolies? And are they a public service? Right. And if they are, then we need to have a separate set. But if we

are going to continue to treat these the way that we're treating them now, which is a series of private companies that provide a service, those companies can just decide. You are allowed to discriminate based on what people think. That's totally fucking allowed. There's nothing that bans people

from being able to do that. If you have a Republican t-shirt shop, you're not required to create a liberal t-shirt. Exactly. You know what I mean? That's not something you have to do. You cannot like it.

I get it. I would not like it if Google did not return results because they were left-leaning. So I'm using left because I'm left, right? If Google did not return results because they were left-leaning, I would say, well, fuck you, Google. I am not using any of your services anymore. I would raise a big stink. I would make people aware that it was not an objective service. All that is fair. All that is reasonable. What is not reasonable is saying that they have some kind of obligation

to change their business structure. They absolutely do not. They absolutely do not. Let's play this though, Tom, because this is Alex Jones talking to someone. He's basically saying he's ready to die. I don't know who he's talking to here. Let me see real quick.

He's, let's see, Patrick Bat-David, the host of Valuetainment YouTube channel, platform dedicated to topics on business and entrepreneurship, sat down on a one-on-one interview with Jones and it was uploaded to YouTube on September 13th. So we're going to play this. This is basically Alex Jones on this other person's channel talking about... I want to describe that he looks like his eyes have been reddened from either crying or drug use for a very long time in this video. He looks like shit. Alex, if you know everything that you say you know, and you got their plans, why are you still alive? Well, they're murdering my name. They're assassinating me.

Yeah, but you've said Hillary Clinton's, you know, her plan goes and, you know, all these people that get close to her. So if you're opposing the most powerful Democrat in the marketplace, let's just say. We've talked about like, wait a minute. This is this evil cabal of ultra powerful people keeps killing people. Can't they just kill you? And then you point it out and they're just like, blast. What shall we do? Let's kill another random person in our impotent rage.

It's like when God sends a hurricane to Mississippi to get back at the San Francisco gays. It's like all those people in Mississippi are like, we're not gay. We're super not gay here. We'll beat them up for you. Even our gays aren't gay here. They're in the closet like they should be. I thought it was a joke, like a poison. I titrated it. And it's the way God worked. It wasn't me. We built up. They thought it was a joke, like a poison. I titrated it.

And it's the way God worked. It wasn't me. We built up. They thought it was a joke. They used us against Trump. They kept thinking they were winning. Wait, did they use you against Trump? I thought he was,

I thought he claimed some responsibility for Trump's win. Why is, they didn't use you. Nobody, first off, nobody's ever used you. Okay. That's number one. You're a single use.

Okay. I love the idea that You're a single use. Okay. I love the idea that like they somehow leveraged Alex Jones for against Trump. Well, Trump won. Yeah. Like, then it didn't work. So like, whoopsie. That's a terrible leverage. Yeah.

It's like, it's like not going to Michigan. Right. And now when the poison, the truth is so strong, when the big dose hits them, they already have figured it out. And so I'm just over there. I'm the globalist lethal injection. And I'm ready to die. You're also the globalist hot beef injection.

So let's just be clear. I've already won. This is all gravy from this point on. Wait, how did you win? I don't get how you win. You've been basically banned from everything. How did you win? But see, that how you win. You've been basically banned from everything. How did you win? That's going to be his claim

now, right? It's like, I've already done everything so much that they're banning me from these places. And it's okay that I'm banned now because I've already accomplished when none of the prophecies I gave come true. It's because

I worked hard in the background to defeat them all. And now that I have been removed from all of my platforms of note, that's okay because I no longer need to spread this message. I've already defeated this evil. Right. Even not included. No actual winning. So I'm already in the system. I've already won.

And they thought it was a joke. And now they just took their death dose. Really, I'm going to kill the New World Order. That's why they call me violent. That's why they hate me. I'm not physically hurting anybody. But the information is the end. It's their end of days.

Do you know who I admire right now? His shirt. His shirt is performing a heroic act of holding him in right now. You think so? No one can reverse it now. Yeah, no, it's true. Because humanity wants to live. And they're the ones doing this. I studied

their papers. Humanity is? Humanity wants to live, Tom. And humanity is the one engaging in these human interactions? I think he's not properly using pronouns here. I studied their program and you asked why they're so afraid? They're so

afraid because I've got their number and I'm not afraid to die. So that's it. That answers your questions. So if that's where you... I love... That's brilliant right there. That answers your questions. So if that's where you... I love... That's brilliant right there.

That answers your questions. You are satisfied. That answers your question. That's like after I have sex, I look down and I'm just like, you are done now. You enjoyed that. You came three times.

I'm getting a sandwich. It only works if you wave your hand in front of your face like a Jedi mind trick. This answered your question. You're satisfied with this bullshit. This guy's rolling his eyes. He looks the way I feel right now.

Like, I wouldn't know what to do next. I'd be like, okay, interview over? I don't. Who assigned me to this? You're right. Who cares if you ever get back on social media? I don't. You really don't.

The message, the transmission, everything else now is gravy. What does that mean? Everything else is gravy. They've taken everything away from you. All you can do is beg for gravy now. They took everything away at the very moment that he won. Secretly, in the background, defeating the evil that nobody saw. For real.

That's really what he's saying. He's saying, you didn't see me win. I won so hard. You didn't even have to see the evil that I was defeating for you. So the globalists are from the Niagara Falls area? You wouldn't know them. You wouldn't know the globalists.

Don't worry. But I did definitely, definitely, definitely defeated them. Right. Yeah. I put my finger in it. They don't go to school here. I met them on vacation. Everything else is just getting ready to meet God.

Whatever. And be a real man. I got to take my licks. I'm ready. Everything else now is take my licks. How many licks does it take to get to the center of Alex Jones? Oh! Oh!

With that shirt open, you just smear butter on that thing. He looks like he's smeared butter on everything he's eaten in the last six months. He definitely looks like a popover. That's for sure. That means my kid's got to take the licks. My family's got to. That means my kid's got to take the licks.

My family's got to take the licks. I got to take the licks. I'm ready to take the licks. There's a type of brioche muffin called the Tet. That is like, it's basically, it's got a cone bottom. And then when you insert it, it basically, it like goes into four pieces and sort of opens up. It's a delicious, delicious muffin. But like his shirt kind of looks like that.

It's opening up. But there's no buttery goodness inside. No delicious yeasty. Well, there might be some yeast, but definitely not some buttery goodness. Well, it depends on what he's for under deodorant, I guess. Maybe he's just, he's got a stick of butter. Just smearing it, smearing under deodorant on. Just smearing it. Smearing it under deodorant on.

Just like, I can't believe it's not deodorant. Let's get it going here. Something with God forever doesn't matter anymore. I'm taking my licks. How are you doing emotionally right now? I love it. Yeah. I'm close to it.

Wait, how are you doing emotionally right now? I love it. I love that. I'm doing emotion. That answers your question. You are satisfied. You're satisfied with the answer. That's not the answer. That doesn't even address the question. This foreplay was sufficient. How are you doing emotionally right now? Very close to God. Very close to God. Very close. Yeah. Next door. We're neighbors. We're neighbors. Now I bought, God comes over for dinner. Tells me my life is sinful.

We hang out in the garage. Bullshit. A little bit. Just judges the fuck out of me. The whole time. His name is Ben Shapiro. You know, my heart,

stomach, not so my bones. Like, like every moment is like close to God. I can't explain it. I'm so close to God right now. That's called a nervous breakdown. I just want you to say like, it's definitely to God. I can't explain it. I'm so close to God right now. That's called a nervous breakdown. I just want you to say like,

it's definitely not God. It's almost certainly nerves. You seem literally crazy right now. Like, I mean, like, I mean, you seem crazy in a way that like, if you were a loved one of mine, you'd be concerned. I would call and be worried and get you help.

As soon as somebody is like, I feel God in my bones and has that eerie sense of like self-assured calm, combined with a habit of speaking cryptically in a series of nonsensical phrases. Yeah, you need help. Like you need lithium help. This guy's going to be swinging from a rope pretty soon.

Yeah. In prayer mode right now, are you speaking all the time? I just feel good. I am at peace. I am at peace. He looks so bad. For a guy who keeps professing how great everything is,

he looks like his dog just died. I'm now at peace. It's not my name or who I am. The enemy knows I love God. I love Jesus. And so I've already passed on. What does that

mean? Nothing. Is he saying he's already dead? I think he's crazy, man. Crazier. Crazier. Because I think he's always been a little crazy. I think he has been, but I think right now he might have reached a stress point where he's like, what if this is all real? Well, it's hard because

I know a lot of people, they waver on whether or not Alex Jones is faking it or not. And I always think it's a little bit of both. I think he recognized that there was a lot of money to be made there. And I also recognize that he tried to push the envelope because I think he realized that he was always going to keep losing listeners and losing viewers if he didn't push that envelope all the time because those people were attracted to the crazy things that he said. And so I think that he, but I think he recognized the market, right? And I don't think a purely crazy person can do that. But I also think he kind of believed

some of the stuff he was saying. I think there was a, there was sort of a mixture of those sorts of things. And I wonder if one side is sort of taking over now. We're getting the Bruce Banner or the Hulk, you know? It seems to me. It seems to me like you can have beliefs that are delusional but not have a thought system that doesn't work anymore. And he seems to be in an emotionally and cognitively unstable place. Like really bad. Yeah, yeah. unstable place.

Like, yeah, like really bad. Yeah, yeah. And that's why the enemy hates me because I'm well beyond their grasp now. Far beyond their grasp. He's going to cry.

He has got tears in his eyes right now. I just pray that God will have mercy on my children. Wait, why would, what would that, I don't understand that. I never understood that,

by the way, that God, I hope God has mercy on my children and my family. And I'm just thinking like, isn't like the entire thing about being a good person, just like you're a good person, you're responsible for yourself? I don't know, because like, doesn't like in the Old Testament, like what you do can ring generations. Oh, it's generality. Like you can, it's like North Korea. Yeah, because they built a box and that box was 24 inches across. I get it.

I get it. But I trust God. So it's God's will now. It wasn't before. I just hope he doesn't throw my kids into a pit of torture for eternity. That's all I'm hoping for, guys. That's all. I mean, can a guy get an amen?

Right. I like that too. Like, I hope that he has mercy on my kids I trust him You don't need to hope I don't have to hope for things that I trust I don't have to do that That's why I have the

Trust is bigger than hope Trust consumes hope Like the Venn diagram It's a tiny circle in there. Yeah. Yeah. So you don't think there's anything here for you to figure out a way to bring it back and have this be a second coming of Alex's mind getting to work and doing all that stuff?

You think it's it for you right now? Oh, that's a dumb fucking question, by the way. Can I just say that's a dumb fucking... This interviewer just looks baffled by what's happening, though. Yeah, I guess that's true. Oh, I mean, the Lord works in mysterious ways. I'm just telling you. So if I win and I come back...

That's mysterious as fuck, by the way. But I think that's what he's giving himself room for, right? If I go to court and I win and then I come back... He's not going to win. I know he's not, but he's also leaving himself an opening just to show that God can make miracles happen or something. He's smart, right? You can

shit on him a lot, but he's a calculating Machiavellian guy, right? Because all the things that he's done have, by and large, up until now worked. But when he's losing, he's still trying to find an angle to win again in the future. So I think like the message he's got here is like,

look, if I fade away, it's because I won, right? If I fade away and it appears that I lost, I won. And I've defeated the globalists and now I have nothing left to do except for sit back and wait for the inevitable to occur because I've already defeated evil. So you guys didn't even have, you don't have to thank me for it. God will thank me. It's cool. But if something, something I am resurrected in the public spotlight and I get my show back and

I get followers, well, then the Lord works in mysterious ways and there must be more work for me to do. But you know what I mean? Yeah. He gives himself both out. Yeah. Yeah. So he doesn't lose face. Sure. Yeah. It's, it's the, it's the weather report of it's either going to rain like hell or it's not. Yeah, exactly. Great. That you've told me nothing. Right. I knew when Trump was elected election night that I told her, but I said, it's going to get really bad. They're coming after. It's like, we've won. It'll be the president. We're all set. I said, no, I said, no, we're not set. Get ready. And I said, I've completed my work. And everything else now is up to everybody else.

It's funny because in general, we're talking about, you know, things have been going right. We're talking about like the political right for the last two years. Right. Yeah. There hasn't been a shift, a real sizable shift left in our culture. There's been a sizable shift right in our culture. And he's a right-leaning, not just right-leaning. Yeah.

He's straight up right. So when he comes in and he says, oh, well, you know, I knew when Trump got elected it was going to be bad for us. Well, that's just the only reason why you knew that is because you were slandering people and you weren't going to stop slandering people. That's the only way you could know that. Well, I think, you know, for this, for a guy like Alex Jones, a, a win on his side is, is problematic in the same way that a win for Trump was problematic, right? Because if you're, if, if your narrative and the, and and the whole like all the juice behind your campaign and all the juice that's behind your sort of listenership and every and all the energy that lives in there is built on this sort of underdog status you can't achieve power and still be the

underdog well it's a weird balancing act there's also not a lot that not as much to talk about i think for alex jones if if the right is in power. They have to keep talking about how they're being pushed around, like you say, underdog style. It'd be the same thing as if next week the entire religious, non-religious population in the United States flipped.

So it was 75% of people were non-religious. Well, we wouldn't have anything to talk about. We would stop and we'd be like, okay, well, I guess we're kind of done talking about this. There would be an end point to what we had to say because we just wouldn't have anything to say about that stuff. Specifically, look through the Obama

years when we were doing this show. There's not a ton to talk about politically because for the most part, they were pushing back against that stuff. Sure, we brought up Kim Davis when she came up, but she's a small group of people. She was a small time person who was pushing back against trying to use her religion to force other people to follow her religion in some minor way. And so, yeah, there was things that we talked about that were political. But for the most part, the president was never like, hey, you know what

we're going to do? Discriminate against trans people. Yeah, right. And so we were just like, okay, well, there's nothing to talk about here. China has total respect for Donald Trump and for Donald Trump's very, very large brain. All right. So this story is from Huffington Post. This happened today and it's fucking crazy. This is Donald Trump talking to a female reporter.

He's keeping it classy. Yeah, we don't want to ruin it by telling you what he said. So we're just going to play this very short clip of someone asking him, you know, a reporter doing their job, Tom,

asking him a question. I just, I want to point out, guys, and I'm not, this is real. Like this happened. Go ahead. Sure. She's shocked that I picked her, like in a state of shock. I'm not thinking, Mr. President.

That's okay, I know you're not thinking, you never do. I'm sorry? No, go ahead, go ahead. In a tweet this weekend, Mr. President, you said that it's incorrect to say you're limiting the scope of the FBI investigation. What does that have to do with Fred? I don't mind answering the question, but I'd like to do the trade question.

It has to do with the other headline in the news, which is the Kavanaugh nomination. I know, but how about talking about trade and then we'll get to that. We'll do that a little bit. Okay, so first I just want to say, what a giant fucking coward. Because he clearly said something

super fucking shitty to somebody. And then he was like, no, just whatever. Like, it's like when the guy He clearly said something super fucking shitty to somebody. And then he was like, no, just whatever. Like, it's like, it's like when the guy who you didn't think could hear you, you say, get the fuck out of my way. Right. When he hears you, what'd you say? No, no, no, nothing.

Nothing. I didn't say anything. No, I didn't. I didn't say nothing. I didn't say the things that I just said. I'm going to put it on fucking layaway. That's what I said. What did you probably want? Something else. I heard some other things that I just said. I'm going to put it on fucking layaway. That's what I said. What did you probably want? Something else.

I heard some other things that I might've not said. You want some of my lunch money? I probably, I don't need it. I don't even like lunch. I have to call my mom to bring new pants. But seriously, like what kind of coward does that?

Where you're just like, like he's, you say something clearly you're being an asshole. Like you're fucking going out of your way to be like, you know what? I'm a fucking asshole. Like you're fucking going out of your way to be like, you know what? I'm a fucking asshole, but I'm not fucking, I don't have like the,

the tiniest bit of guts to stand up to somebody when I'm an asshole. What kind of fucking coward is that? What kind of person like mocks somebody like she, the reason that there was the delay. So I, so there's a delay in, in her getting after she's called, she gets called and then she has to be given the microphone.

And all she's doing is looking for the person to hand her the microphone. That's it. That's the delay. And she's like, she's shocked I called on her. Like, that should be a problem in and of itself. You don't do a lot of fucking press conferences. You call on the same fucking group of sycophants time and time again. Yeah, maybe people are surprised when you call on them because you're, you know,

the guy plays fucking favorites all the time. But like, what a weird thing for the fucking president to say. She's surprised I called on her. That's his joke, though. Like, that's, you know how some people have, like,

their little thing where they're like, it'd be like if he gets up to the mic and he says something like, you were probably wondering why I called you here today. You know what I mean? Like, something like that. Like, you have, like,

your one standard joke. I've heard him say that a dozen times, but there's nothing joking. It's not funny. It's like it ridicules. It's not a joke. It's not funny, but I think that he thinks it's a joke because it sometimes gets laughter.

Yeah. It got laughter when, uh, when he did it to that Kurdish guy. And, you know, so it gets laughter in these places. So people will,

he, people will just he, people will just, I think nervously laugh because it's not a joke. You're right. It's not even a fucking incredible simulation. It's not a joke at all. Right. There's no punchline. There's nothing to it. It's like an anti-joke, but I think that people, when they hear it and they're in the audience, they feel like it was told in joke format and it's the president of the United States. So I feel like, eh, maybe I should like guilt laugh it. And so I feel like they was told in joke format and it's the president united states so i feel like and maybe i should like guilt laugh it and so i feel like they're guilt laughing that joke and

they're encouraging him to say it over and over and over again even though it's not funny or interesting or useful what is the point of his weird conversation because she's like no i'm not surprised and he says that's okay i know you're not thinking you never do i literally don't know what that has to do with her response. I think he thought she said, I'm thinking or something like that. Because she says, let's listen to it one more time. She's shocked that I picked her. Like in a state of shock.

I'm not thinking, Mr. President. That's okay. I know you're not thinking. She says, I'm not thank you, Mr. President. And it sounds like I'm not thinking. If you listen to it, that's why. Really? That's what I think he misheard because he's old. I'm not thinking, Mr. President, and it sounds like I'm not thinking. If you listen to it, that's why... Really? That's what I think he misheard, because he's old. I'm not thinking, Mr. President.

That's okay. Right? I'm not wrong, right? I think that is, yeah. Let's listen to it one more time. Chuck. I'm not thinking, Mr. President. That's okay. I know you're not thinking. You never do. I'm sorry? No, go ahead. What a mean thing to say no matter what. And that's just like a super mean thing to say to somebody, like to say to her. And that's just like a super mean thing to say to somebody like to say that.

And then she's just taken aback. How could you say something so stupid? But, you know, it's just it's just like and the other thing I want to touch on with this story, and I think it's really important to point out, you know, it's fine for people to be, you know, I think push back or be assholes on occasion. I don't think that that's a there's a bad thing. I mean, this whole show is based on us kind or be assholes on occasion. I don't think that that's a, there's a bad thing. I mean, this whole show is based on us kind of being assholes, right? I don't think there's a bad thing there, but I think that there's a level of respect that you need to have to be in the office of president of the, of the president. I've never seen anybody, not a single time in my entire history, be such a petty bitch to all the fucking people

in the reporters gaggle, except for this. This guy's been absolutely the worst. I cannot think of anybody, even an employee of the White House, not just, I mean, going, working all the way down that is such an asshole to reporters and just so unpresidential. That's just a shitty thing to say to somebody. You wouldn't expect that from somebody who was your boss. You wouldn't expect that from anybody in any professional position.

Right. It's childish. Right. The weird thing about it is like, I could see like if she was disrespectful in her question. Or, you know, like then I would agree with you, right?

Like if I'm the president, I'm standing up there, and I'm doing a press conference, and somebody comes at me hard, I'll come right back at them hard. But all she got was the microphone! Yeah, all she did was ask for the microphone. He's mocking her, basically mocking her, and by saying, like, you don't deserve this. That's the point of that question.

She's shocked that I picked her. She does not think she's worth this, right? That's why that comment, it's the only way that comment makes any sense. Like, he's mocking this person before they're even engaged with him. And then as soon as, like, she picks up the mic, he's just shitty to her.

He's just a shitty, like, this is a shitty fucking person. I want to play this other bit, too, and what I like about this other piece is the person doesn't stop, even though it doesn't get them anywhere. I think this is how all reporters should be asking questions. Bulldog question.

Absolutely. Thank you, Mr. President. Now that you've answered several questions on trade, I'd like to turn to Judge Kavanaugh. Do you have, excuse me, do you have a question on trade? We'll do one or two more questions.

You answered several questions on trade. Okay, don't do that. That's not nice. Mr. President. And besides that, somebody is before you. Excuse me, don't do that. Do you have a question on trade? You answered several questions on trade. Do you have a question on trade? My question is on Judge Kavanaugh. Okay, please, yes, please. You said the FBI should interview whoever that they believe is appropriate. Does that include Julie Swetnick, the third accuser? And can you promise to release the full findings- Give me your question, please. After they finish their report, Mr. President? Give me your question, please. Mr. President was-

Give her the mic, please. Thank you very much. What the press needs to do is they, because our current president is so incredibly hostile to the press, they all seriously need to agree that, look, the first question that does not get answered is the last question. And we just all ask that question. Just keep asking that question. Everybody asks whatever. Yeah. So it doesn't matter if I don't even like that question.

The point is the president will be held responsible. That's the purpose of the press. Or he'll stop the thing. That's what's going to happen. Then you do the same thing to the press secretary. That's what he's going to do. Then you do the same thing to Sarah Huckabee Sanders. You keep doing that. You do that to every representative

of the White House until it becomes painfully apparent that they will not answer questions. You have to make it incredibly awkward for them. If you allow them to control the narrative all the time,

I think every president does do that work of trying to spin. Absolutely. Right. That's actually part of their job. But like to simply like refuse to answer questions just to deny the and then to mock the reporters for asking them. Yeah, that's some territory we don't need to be in. Absolutely. I think, you know, there's a you're right.

They do. Of course, they try to they try, man. Absolutely. I think you're right. Of course, they try to tread those waters, but I think that there is just enough people on the right that will ask all the questions that they want to get asked. There's enough of a slant in the media where

there's going to be enough of a slant on that right side that they will ask all the questions that they want to ask, and the other people will continue to ask hard questions, and those hard questions never get answered. They don't get answered. They just get ignored. Yeah. So then they'll be like, OK, Breitbart. OK, National Review. You know, OK, Daily Caller. Right. So you're never going to get. Yeah. You want answers. I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. All right. This story is from the New York Times. Again, the fucking world we live in,

oh my God. This is Trump talking about Kim Jong-un, the autocratic, monstrous dictator of North Korea, responsible for the deaths of thousands of his own people, if not hundreds of thousands. Let's listen to it. We were going to war

with North Korea. That was what was going to happen. Why was that going to happen? He said, thank you, because he says that like it's some like truth or inevitability that we've all agreed upon. But like we were not on a path to war anymore. Like we have like we had a policy of containment with North Korea, which has admittedly always been tenuous, but it was not more tenuous in 2016 and 17 than it was in 2014 or 15. And when I checked in 2014 and 15, we weren't a fucking war with North Korea. Yeah. The one thing that I thought might send us into war is two blithering idiots shouting at each other through social media.

Yeah, I've released one of them. And then the other one would just send press releases because I don't think they have to. They just throw a bird at a fence or something like that. Not only that, he was he was literally threatening that his bombs were bigger than the other guy's bomb. Exactly. Millions of people would have been killed killed i came in and took a very hard position very hard position and you know what missionary yeah the very hard position i took was gaping my own asshole so he could fuck it but now we have this great relationship and let's see what happens i was really being tough and so was he and we'll go back and forth and then we fell in love okay no this cecil hold on this is happening because i then they start to laugh at him but then i think he tries to back it up so i want to hear

play that part one more time so was he and we'll we would go back and forth. And then we fell in love. Okay. No, really. He wrote me beautiful letters. And they're great letters. We fell in love. You know, there's this weird anti-homosexual audience that's sitting there like, ha ha ha. And then he's like, no, really? And then they're like, okay, I guess we'll just start clapping then, then i guess i don't know what to do i'm feeling funny in my pants the president of the united states should not be falling in love with the monstrous dictator of north korea like he should not he should not say like he sent me a nice letter yeah wait you know like what what makes me insane

about this guy's he makes everything about him it's all about him yep like this is this is the fate of two nations and as he put it the fate of the millions of human lives that hang in the balance and like this guy is coming in his fucking shorts because kim jong-un wrote him a fucking love letter it's he's got a sexy sexy paypal pen pal yeah and he'sun wrote him a fucking love letter. He's got a sexy, sexy pen pal. Yeah. And he's fucking hard as a fucking rock like a 15-year-old boy. It's so weird that he is using that language and the way in which he talks about how he got these people to like him.

And they're like, he thinks it's like, they like me. They really, really like me you know i have a great relationship with the president of china the north korea and i fell in love me and this guy are cool buddies putin sucks my dick on thursday or whatever like who cares yeah literally who cares you need you need to make sure that the country is good like are our policies aligned in such a way that they provide mutual benefit for both our countries? Let's have a conversation

that at least at some point touches on that idea. He never puts the country first for anything. He's always putting himself first. He's always putting it first. And this is just another example of how weird this is. I'm curious because there were some people

who were saying to us, you know, when we were saying, man, I don't, I'm actually afraid at like, what's going to happen with North Korea. I know that we've gotten messages since then from people who are like, Oh, well, you guys are worried about North Korea. I'm still genuinely worried about North Korea. I just think they're going to walk all over us and still be awful actors in the world, the world, you know, on on the world stage let's be clear there's no reason to think that that's not the case because literally all of their actions have been duplicitous yeah and they have been duplicitous and it's not trump's this is not unique to trump let's be clear about that too uh north korea has been an unfaithful actor for as

long as there's been decades and decades in north korea the problem is is that other people never took them seriously other other other uh world leaders specifically ours have always been like they've always been like yeah sure we'll have talks with you then they have talks and like yeah you go ahead and you do that and we'll start doing the other stuff and then they're like yeah sure another rocket and they don't fucking listen right so we've never really treated them with like anything but a kid who wouldn't fucking eat his food. And so we're going to make him sit at the table. And that's all we've done forever. But Trump is the first one to be like, I will give you concessions first. I will. All I want to all I want to do is

see, you know, a little bit of de-escalation of the nuclearization program. Just tell us you're going to. We won't try to verify. And then they haven't. They haven't. They haven't at all. At all. Yeah. And then you look at the Iran deal where you have verified proof that they are, you know, they're going through a denuclearization process.

And that's the worst deal in the world. Yeah, with a fucking UN Energy Commission that gets to go in and monitor the situation. And like, North Korea is just like,

ah, winky face. What do you think, guys? And that's like, these two things couldn't be any more starkly different. But like, the difference,? And that's like, these two things couldn't be any more starkly different, but like the difference, I really do think like the difference is exactly what

President Trump, exactly what Donald Trump just said is that he is being flattered by the dictator of another nation. He loves when these world leaders pay him personal respect. Yes. The personal respect. Everybody knows how to manipulate him. Yeah. Because he just needs to be flattered.

He's a fucking, he's an insecure little kid. He's the easiest person to win over. Right. The very easiest. He's, when you go to visit, you know,

you're, you know, the, the, the long lost nephews and you bring a little chocolate. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like he's, he's easily won over by a tiny piece of chocolate. That drawing is so good. Are you going to be an artist when you grow up? Here's a fucking Kit Kat. Yep. So easy to win over. And the good thing is that unlike

Iraq, where we said no, and then all the rest of the world said, we're going to still try to work with you. Right. This is the opposite, where we're like, yeah, we'll work with you. And all the rest of the world said, we're going to still try to work with you. Right. This is the opposite where we're like, yeah, we'll work with you. And like all the rest of the world's like, no, there's a reason that the UN laughs. Yeah.

The rest, literally the rest of the world does not take us seriously. They've, you know, I read something in the New York times not that long ago. It said like the rest of the world, like that has basically cut the United States out of the table when it comes to having serious discussions about world policy we don't get invited to those conversations why would we yeah it's we're not that is a fucking dinner party we didn't get the invite to anymore done people are like nope not that guy yeah we should be a show wrote a love letter are you kidding i fell in love yeah i fell in love with a man who jails three generations of his people at a time for crimes that are so inconsequential as to not even be worthy of naming.

I fell in love with a man who shoots rockets at his generals. Like this is a man you've fallen in love with. The man's a monster. Kim Jong-un's a monster. There's've fallen in love with. Like, the man's a monster. Yeah. Kim Jong-un's a monster. Yeah. There's no falling in love with monsters. So we should be recording a full episode next week with email and patrons and all that stuff.

But this week we just don't have it because we recorded this a long time ago so Tom could enjoy his vacation without interruption. We will be back next week and we are going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit, couched in scientician, double bubble toil and trouble, pseudo quasi alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized,

stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, bigfoot, yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double speak stigmata, nonsense. Nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive.

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