Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 442: Vulgarity for Charity 2018 Pt. 1

Episode Date: November 12, 2018

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Hey, everybody. I'm popping in here before we start the show to tell you about some amazing news that we got from Modest Needs. So, Vulgarity for Charity is in full swing. All you have to do is send a donation to modestneeds.org. $50 or more will get you a roast. Just send the proof to vulgarityforcharity at gmail.com. You guys all know the drill. But if we can reach $25,000 Modest Needs, they have a donor who's going to match that $25,000 modest needs, they have a donor who's gonna match that $25,000. So there's a possibility that with this charity drive, we can raise $50,000. So all you have to do is just try to get your roasts in

before the 21st, and we have a chance at raising $50,000 for people in need. All right, here's the show. This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by adamandeve.com. Just go to adamandeve.com and type in glory. That's G-L-O-R-Y at checkout and you'll get 50% off almost any item,

a free sex swing and free shipping. Hey, Tom. It's Hunter from Oklahoma. I'm glad to hear you guys are doing voicemails again because right about the time that I caught up, it just kind of stopped.

I was nervous about ruining that for everybody. But I did have something to say since I got caught up about the last episode about the crazy minstrel show robocall thing. I honestly don't think they're trying to change people's minds. Like you said at this point,

you know, you're kind of solidified in that mindset, if anything. But I think it's made just to hurt that man and to hurt people's feelings. I mean, he received that robocall and, like, had to listen to that shit. And, yeah, like I said, you know,

I don't think they're trying to slay anybody, but... Uh... Yeah. Anyway, glory hole, this is jacob this is patrick this is other jacob from the bullshit hold my beer podcast the epic argument gone so very very right after 100 episodes we're still trying to be half as funny as these motherfuckers. And we're not even close. Hey, Patrick, I bet we're just as good as cognitive dissonance. Glory hole, motherfucker.

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome at this is episode 441 to 42 cognitive dissonance this is this is i this is the is the afterglow, the post-blue wave afterglow. Bask in the wet spot of the blue wave, my friend.

The post-blue balls afterglow. You know, one of the things that we did yesterday, we had Mr. Heath Enright in studio. We did. For three hours, we covered the election, so you can find that on YouTube and on Facebook. Those videos exist right now, so you can find that on YouTube and on Facebook. Those videos exist right now

so you can check them out. You go to our YouTube channel there will be a link in the show notes for this episode but we had a wonderful time doing returns.

We had Thomas Smith join us for a little while and we had a great time. We did and I also had him change all the light bulbs I can't reach. Thanks Heath. I've really needed that.

I got a shoulder ride for a little while. Felt like I was in an airplane. He'd be the best person to play chicken with. Oh, God. I'll tell you what. He's the first picked on the podcast or baseball or basketball-a-thon.

Oh, my God. Can you imagine a wheezier game of basketball? Can you imagine a more knee-hugging vomit on the fucking sidelines game of basketball? There's never been more air balls on the fucking sidelines game of basketball. There's never been more air balls in the history of the game. I do want to talk, though, a little bit about the election, though, Tom, because, you know, when we were recording, we were talking about it. It was something that we expected, right? The Senate did not flip.

The Senate, we lost a couple seats in the Senate. We gained several seats in the House. House flipped. 24, 22. Depends on what happens afterwards, because there's still a couple of very close races that haven't been called even right now. Governorships

flipped. But, you know, when we were recording, there was this feeling. We had this feeling like, you know, we wanted to see more. And the three major things that we were depressed about were the two governorships that were happening in Georgia and in Florida,

Stacey Abrams and Andrew Gillum, two African Americans who were running in the racist South. They wound up coming very close. You can just say the South. I mean, that's allowed. That's true. Racism is implied in the word South. It's like ATM machine.

You just know. But the other was, even though I didn't want myself to get excited about it, and I had already tempered, I had already curbed my own enthusiasm, was Beto O'Rourke. We were wanting, you know,

just because we hate Ted Cruz so much. I was going to say, I wanted Beto to win, but I more, I wanted Cruz to lose. I wanted to see what would happen to lose. I wanted to see what would happen. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I wanted to see him like just pop and like, ooh,

just down to the ground and just, just slither away. Yeah. Yeah. Or pull his face away. And it was Mr. Smithers the whole time. You know,

it's like, I think, I think the night went with, with some exceptions. I think the night went about as expected, about as well as anybody thought it was going to go. I got to say, I want to read several things just to make sure that we are a little optimistic here.

So the Senate only had 35 seats up. Most of those were Dem seats. 12 are probably going to go to the Republicans. There's 10 right now, but 12, there's a possibility it's 12. 21 of those seats went to the Democrats. So, you know, they were mostly Dem seats and 21 of them went when two left-leaning independents also went to the, you know, Bernie Sanders is, you know, independent and there was one from Maine, an independent. That's a 65% win ratio on those seats. So that's not bad. There was more people

who voted in that for Democrats by a large margin. The number was something like 40 million people voted for Democrats in the Senate races versus 30 million. So there was more people, but you know that it's skewed towards the states. We talked about that on the live stream. The House seats that got flipped, there was one in California, Arizona, Colorado, two in Iowa. Now Iowa's almost all blue except for Steve King's district. That's gross. Kansas two in Illinois, both from both by Chicago to two got flipped in Illinois, two in Michigan, three in Pennsylvania, three in Virginia, three in New Jersey, basically a fucking blue wave blue through New Jersey and Iowa. And then it's looking like two in New York. You know, we lost Senate

seats that the thing about the losses, the Senate seats that we lost, Indiana, Missouri, and North Dakota, doesn't even feel like we were going to win those anyway. You know, you're like, eh. And we won one in Nevada. And then you flipped the governor in a bunch of states. Maine, Michigan, Illinois, Kansas, New Mexico, Nevada, and Wisconsin flipped. Thank you. Again, I said on the live show, you owe us that, Wisconsin.

Yep. You just don't even congratulate yourself. You're just paying us back. And he put a law into place. That asshole put a law into place that you can't challenge and make a recount unless it's within a certain percentage. And he gets fucked under. He fucked himself with his own law. He got he got, you know, he brought the guillotine in or whatever.

He got guillotined by his own guillotine in or whatever, and he got guillotined by his own guillotine. So, all right. We talked about this a little bit. Don't you correct me. So this is a big deal. This is a big deal. And immediately, I mean, it's the day after this happened. The day after this happened, Trump fires

Jeff Sessions. Jeff Sessions, yeah. And he does this because he's scared, right? Because now the House, the House has the ability to impeach And he does this because he's scared, right? Because now the House, the House has the ability to impeach. Like, everybody knows that that's the case, right? So the House is who votes to impeach. And the House is now Democrat. The House also can control

key aspects of that investigation. So you fire the Attorney General. Yeah. I mean, that's the fucking immediately, the day after. He fired Sessions. He fired Sessions because Sessions recused himself.

As attorney general, he recused himself from interfering in the Mueller investigation. Yeah. Now, the guy he put in, whose name escapes me, I'm sorry. But the guy he put in has very publicly decried the investigation, the Mueller investigation as a witch hunt. This is a clear response to his fear that the democratically controlled House is going to up the ante on the investigation. Also, there was a tweet by Trump, too. The guy you're looking for, the name is Whitaker.

The Whitaker is now the person who's taking over. There was a tweet that he had tweeted out, too. over. There was a tweet that he had tweeted out, too. It says, if the Democrats think they're going to waste taxpayer money investigating us at the House level, then we will likewise be forced to consider investigating them for all the leaks of classified information and much else at the Senate level. Two can play at that game. So he recognizes early on that he's going to try to push back against this stuff because he knows what's coming. He knows exactly what's coming. Doesn't it sound that tweet is so telling? Like, doesn't it sound like you're supposed to overlook my trespasses so I can exactly

your that's exactly it. It is one hand washes the other in out here in corrupt land. And he seems to be genuinely appalled that like, you can't call me out on my corruption. I'll call you out on yours. appalled that like you can't call me out on my corruption i'll call you out on yours and it's like there's like uncorrupted people who are like yeah i'm okay with all of this that is exactly what i was gonna say like fucking do it then let's do it let's get it all out in the open let's stop trying to thwart investigations let's see what invest where investigations lead us let's have more investigations not less i love i love too I love too, that like, he's like, oh, if you're going to waste taxpayer money,

I'll waste taxpayer money too. Don't make me waste it. Don't. Don't you make me waste this taxpayer money. I will blow through it faster than you can even imagine. I will turn Steve King's district around. I'm going to gold plate Mar-a-Lago. Is that his wife, Mar-a-Lago?

Is there a difference? Who knows? He owns them both. Oh, shit. I also wanted to talk about this. There was eight new scientists elected to Congress this time. There's a full list I'll put in the notes. Wait, Christian scientists?

Real, actual scientists. What? We just put scientists in the name to make you think it's science-y. So there were eight new ones elected? Yeah. So now we eight new ones elected? So now we have seven total. Exactly right. I think at some point, Steve King cancels out a couple of them. You have to kill one when you want to put any of them in.

Who was the guy who had the snowball? Was that Steve? Inhofe. James Inhofe. Yeah. And then there's also an amateur paleontologist in Newt Gingrich. How many real scientists do those guys cancel out? They got to cross-multiply

for the idiots, don't you? It's a lot, right? It's a lot. You really do. It's more than one. I want to read, though, just a couple of them. There's a computer programmer that wound up winning in Nevada. Is that science? Oh, computer science. Yeah. There is an industrial engineer

that won in Pennsylvania's 6th District. Oh my god, please tell me it's one of the Mythbusters. Is it a Mythbuster? Not a Mythbuster. Damn it. Damn it, that would be amazing. And the other one I want to mention is in South Carolina's first district, they elected an ocean scientist.

Do you think, and I don't think it'll happen, I'm just curious what you think, do you think there should be educational prerequisites to being in Congress or to being president. So I will say this. I totally fucking think there should be educational prerequisites to being a fucking congressperson or to being president. And I think they should be really, really high bars to cross, like aggressively train

your whole life and maybe still don't get there. Spectacularly, difficultly high bars to cross, but I'm curious what your thoughts are. I don't disagree with high bars to cross. I know. I think high bars to cross are the way to go. I think morally high bars,

you know, I think vetting for people morally, you know, even just little in transgressions that may or may not even be legal, like illegal, where somebody does something and you're just like, oh, you know,

this is a well-documented thing. And then you're like, because that does happen to congressmen when they blow up at people, they blow up at the wrong person and they filmed it or whatever. That does happen. So, and I also think too, like, you know, we should hold those people to a high moral standard. I also think you're absolutely right. Hold them to a high academic standard too. Would you vote for a high school dropout? It's not nothing against high school dropouts and a school isn't for everybody, right? It's not nothing against high school dropouts. I know school isn't for everybody, right? I get that.

I understand school isn't for everybody. But do you want somebody who is a high school dropout to be in charge of the entire nation? I'm just not sure that people without a certain educational background can understand the complexity of the issues that they're being asked to decide on.

That's why I agree. I agree with you. Would you even accept somebody who didn't have a college degree to that level? I wouldn't accept every college. I wouldn't accept my college degree. I wouldn't accept mine. I have a degree in English literature. What the fuck good does that do? Throw it away.

I think my feeling is if you want to run for the highest seats in the land, you should have, off the top of my head, you should have a hard science. You should probably have a foreign language, you know, and, and, and maybe something in poli sci. I'll tell you this. You can't be a, a, a, an airplane pilot unless you have 2020 vision. Yeah. So it's just, it's just going to be self-selecting. There's nothing you can do

about it. You can't be an Olympic bodybuilder unless you have the body. You can't be like a 30-pound winkling or whatever, a 90-pound winkling and do it. You can't do it. Like, you just can't be that guy. It's okay. Sometimes there's physical, sometimes there's mental limitations. I can't get hired as a, you know, a professor in philosophy because I don't have the requisite training to do it. Now, could it be open to me? Sure, it could be open to me, but I don't have the requisite training to do it. Now, could it be open to me? Sure, it could be open to me, but I don't have the requisite training right now. You know, we acknowledge this about the justices for the Supreme Court, right? They could probably technically nominate me.

Yeah. Right. But I don't have a law talking degree. Yeah. And I've never been a judge and I've never been a lawyer. That'd be a real bad decision because I wouldn't know what I was talking about. It'd be a horrible decision. I wonder if we should not have, and if not structurally, if we shouldn't insist

socially at this point and saying, no, I won't accept a candidate who doesn't have an educational background that tells me that they are qualified to understand the decisions that they're fucking making. How do I understand what net neutrality really means if I don't have some background in tech and sociology?

Right. And how those two things interact. We should, when we are looking at candidates, we should not be trying to find the guy you most likely want to have a beer with. We shouldn't be looking for some dipshit cowboy everyman nonsense to be your guy. Yeah. You should find somebody who is like, wow, that dude is... That man or woman is out of my league.

I feel the exact same way. I feel like we should be holding these people to a higher standard. I think for the most part, we've just sort of been like, we don't care. And we are hiring for a very important job. You would reject all the candidates that sent you a resume that did not have the requisite degree that you were looking for. If you're looking for a marketing job, even, right?

You're just looking for a marketing job and they start sending you. If someone with a hard science degree sent you a job application with a, you know, they didn't have any relevant experience for a job that you had. But they had, you know, they were super smart. They may be a fucking Fulbright scholar or something, you know, they didn't have any relevant experience for a job that you had, but they had, you know, they were super smart. They may be a fucking, fucking Fulbright scholar or something, you know, like really crazy. I might be like, no, I don't need you. It doesn't match. You're not somebody I need.

I don't need anybody. I don't need a climatologist or whatever, you know? Right. Yeah. I just, like, I say bring back elitism. Like, I think elitism has a bad name. I think the elite should be in charge yeah they're elite for a reason because they're not like you and i now the concern obviously is if this isn't bottled up in san francisco this kind of nonsense then it's going

to be spreading across the entire fruited plain and you're going to be going to your burger king in des moines iowa and you're going to have a rainbow colored wrapper for your Whopper. So this story is fucking crazy. It's from pinknews.co.uk. A Republican lawmaker admits writing death to gays manifesto. This is a relatively short article. See, so I thought I'd kind of read most of this article because it's just so fucking unbelievable. A Republican state lawmakers admitted that he wrote a manifesto for a holy war that calls for supporters of gay marriage to be murdered.

That sounds a little hyperbolic. It does. Let's take a little. You got to make sure we unpack this. Representative Matt Shea, a pro-Trump Republican who represents the fourth district in the Washington State House of Representatives, on Wednesday admitted that he wrote a four page document titled The Biblical Basis for War. A four-page document? Is this his novel? I thought the same thing.

If I'm writing an angry, violent screed and calling it a manifesto, like I'm some fucking third-year philosophy major who's fucking pissed off at the world and about to send a bomb to a stranger, my fucking manifesto would be over 30 pages. You could print this at home

on one piece of paper and fold it and make it a tiny little booklet. Are you kidding me? Four-page manifesto. Four-page manifesto. There was many, many classes that I took where the teacher

would have handed that paper right back to me. Yeah, like nice introduction. Yeah, that was great. But you haven't begun your work yet. Biblical basis for war. I can knock this out

in a thousand words. What do you think, guys? Yeah. Maybe he's like, maybe he's like a newspaper writer where he's, you know, he thinks the editor is going to cut it down.

So he wants to get it in under a word count rather than over a word count. This is going to be a fucking Facebook post. He's going to trim it down for Twitter. Hates gays.

That's it. How many characters do I get on Instagram? What kind of hashtag? Kill gays? Is that a good one? I don't know. The manifesto outlines

a plan for a Christian holy army to conduct a biblical war against non-believers carrying out a census of all able-bodied males aged 18 to 45. I guess they don't need a census of just everybody.

Right, yeah, just a couple of them. The men would then be required to agree to the Army's Terms of Justice and Righteousness, which state, quote, Stop all abortions, no same-sex marriage, no idolatry or occultism, no communism, must obey biblical law. I thought to myself, couldn't you have skipped that and gotten this down to three and a half pages if you just wrote must obey biblical law the rest of those are encompassed in that one phrase also how do you sign up for the terms of justice and

righteousness is there like one of those captcha pictures that comes up afterwards not a robot and there's like all like there's a bunch of dicks and you have to tell them how many dicks. But if you notice one, you're gay, so they kill you. Those who agree, quote, must pay share of work. Must pay share of work. This guy didn't even read his four-page paper, Tom. Jesus Christ.

That's a quote. It's a direct quote, for Christ's sakes. The squiggles mean you fucked it up. The document explains before adding, quote, if they do not yield, kill all males. Oh, that sounds. Uh-huh. That sounds. That sounds like the violent left to me.

Right. Exactly. Right. And then we're going to compare this to people that want to make a cake or don't want to make a cake. I don't even remember because it doesn't matter. This is somebody wants to kill all the dudes. Exactly, right, yeah. I would also point out like

if you're just like a woman in this crazy dystopian nightmare society and you don't want to like believe these things, are you off scot-free? Oh, no. It's enforced monogamy for you.

Oh, right, yeah. Okay, so Jordan Peterson's vice president. All right. So the document was published by the Spokesman Review after being leaked for you. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. So Jordan Peterson's vice president. All right. So the document was published by the Spokesman Review after being leaked by Associates of Shea. Nice Associates.

It's unclear when precisely the document was penned. Spokane County Sheriff Someguy told the Spokesman Review on Wednesday the document was a, quote, how-to manual consistent with the ideology and operating philosophy of the Christian identity Aryan Nations movement. Let me scroll down a little bit. He was given the manual consistent with the ideology and operating philosophy of the christian identity area nations movement let me scroll down a little bit he was given the let's read some of these i want to read

why don't you read these rule 10 rules oh yeah okay so here are his 10 rules of war okay this is fucking insane uh and this is an outline format by the way so it's just this is so he could take up more space on his four-page paper, a little longer. He also probably increased the font size. Right, double space, double space. Is this a 1.15 spacing or one spacing? Bring the margins in on all sides. Bring the margins in. By a quarter inch on each side,

hoping the teacher wouldn't notice. Did you ever do that? You probably didn't because you're a good writer, so you probably never did that. I didn't do that too much. I did do that one time. Fudge with things to get the page length? No, I messed with the fonts a little bit.

I chose a different font that gave me an extra page. Not a full page, but like another half page because certain fonts were different. So I chose the one that's more like, I think it's called Lucinde, which is like, it looks, so it's a longer, I think it's called Lucinde, which is like, it looks, so it's a longer, I think they call that kerning.

I don't know exactly what the name of that is. But it's a little bit more space between each letter. Yeah, it makes it wider. That's smart. Yeah, so I didn't, I didn't actually change the font size.

I just chose a different font and it went. I would just go back in and add extraneous sentences. Like, I bet I could say this again in a different way. Just call a teacher an asshole.

They're not going to read it anyway. They care. When I was in high school, my buddy and I would play a game where I would say, all right, you got to write your next paper and you have to include the phrase scratch and sniff sticker. Really? He would do the same thing. He'd give me a challenge phrase and I would have to include, know no shit punch bug and I'd be like okay I gotta write you know about Arthur Miller's

crucible and I gotta write scratch and stiff sticker into my whatever yeah we used to fuck with each other all the time that's fucking awesome and it was fun it was actually like you'd be like I gotta come up with a metaphor that I get to use scratch and stiff and so yeah it got us you know writing it got you through

bullshit without killing yourself. Yeah, pretty much. All right. So the 10 rules of war. 10 rules of war. You'd think, by the way, we would start with one. So let's start with A.

Let's start with A. Because there's definitely not the rules of war. A through C, subsection up to six. I hate this man. 10 rules of war A.

Conduct a census of all able-bodied males 18 to 45. Okay. One. Identify exceptions. Exemptions. C above. There's nothing.

Two. Appoint captains of tens, fifties, hundreds, and thousands. I don't know. So like everybody's a captain, but some captains have ten recruits underneath them. I don't know. So like, everybody's a captain, but some captains have 10 recruits underneath them.

I don't. Then a bigger captain has 50. Why not name them differently? Like, why not have lieutenants, captains? Oh, so like a hierarchy of rank?

An actual structure. Yeah, you would do if you were going to use war. B, avoid bloodshed if possible. Okay, no, but don't worry because we're going to get to that.

C, make an offer of peace before declaring war. Subsection one. Not a negotiation or compromise of righteousness. It's the worst contract you've ever signed. You're just looking at it over here like, I don't want to sign this. Subsection two. Must surrender on terms of justice and righteousness. One.

Stop all abortions. Two. Same-sex marriage. Three. No idol on terms of justice and righteousness. One, stop all abortions. Two, same-sex marriage. Three, no idolatry or occultism. Four, no communism. Wait. And five, must obey biblical law. Wait, no communism? Oh, yeah, because when Jesus split the bread and loaves, he charged everybody, right?

He's like, oh, guys, that's 50 cents. You got to pitch in. Jesus actually wrote about communism before Marx had invented it. Yeah. And it was like a whole thing. People were very confused for like almost 2,000 years. All right.

What that fucking phrase was. Yeah. Yeah. So when he has the bread and fish, is that the means of production that he was seized? I don't know. They seized his hand.

Yeah. That's the means of production. Let me go. I got a poor miracle. All right. And. That's the means of production. Let me go. I got a four miracle. All right. And when he creates the bread and loaves, what I think he does is he just pushes it through the holes in his hands and it cuts it into pieces.

Do you want the slice? Hang on. It's easier. One's a toast. One's a slice. It's easier to distribute. He can go full bagel. When he mashes the lox through his hand,

it just like squirts out like it's in a pastry bag. All right. Three. If they yield, must pay share of work or taxes. Their share or just share? I'll share. No, it doesn't even say I'll share. Pardon me.

Must pay share. Mays pay share. Hey, buddy. Fucking maybe look this over once. Four. If they do not yield, kill all males. Kill all males. I just am curious how section four relates to B, avoid bloodshed.

I know. It feels like it kind of went a little bit off the rails in your own document. He didn't even make it down 10 lines before he's already fucking off the rails. All right. So, Konezovic or whatever was given the document in August, and he said he gave it straight to the FBI. The FBI and the Joint Terrorism Task Force told KHQ that the document is being reviewed. Shea, this asshole who wrote it, is a strong opponent of LGBTQ

rights, probably because he's so gay! Look at him. He's making a little face. I know. You know he won, right? He won. So, I don't know. I mean, this article came out days before the election

it was on the 2nd of November but I looked it up he won so nothing matters he won by like 58% vote for him alright by the way also want to point out if you're still you know you haven't tightened that news completely 50,000

votes for the Nazi here in Illinois really? 50,000 50,000 votes for the Nazi here in Illinois. Really? 50,000 people voted for a professed Nazi? 50,000 votes voted for fucking Arthur fucking McShitbag or whatever his name is. If that doesn't tell you how much people just vote their team. Yeah, that's exactly it. Like, I just vote my team. Who's on your team?

I don't care who's on my team. The same thing here. If you heard this about any Democratic candidate, I would immediately be like, nope, that's not my guy. If I saw like an ad that listed this, would immediately be like, nope, that's not my guy. If I saw like an ad that listed this, I'd be like, nope, not my dude. Yeah. Immediately. This guy's got a job still.

This guy would be fired from your work if he wrote this. Absolutely. Absolutely. This guy would be fired from my work if he wrote this. If I found this on somebody's desk, I'd be like, what? You got to pack your shit. Time to go. Time to go.

Yeah. He admitted to writing this, by the way. Yeah. Oh to go. Time to go. Yeah. He admitted to writing this, by the way. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, long story, not even short. He admitted to writing this. It's a long story. It's a long story. Everybody has a way of interpreting them to be the truth or not true. There's no

such thing, unfortunately, more of fact. This story is from deadstate.org. Christian TV host, if Dems win the midterms, they'll burn down churches and kill thousands of Christians. Who do you think? Did that happen? Who do you think? Rick Wiles, buddy.

Did that happen, though? None of his predictions ever come true? We did win the midterms. We did. Well, how do you define, I like this, how do you define win the midterms? We won the House, didn't win the Senate. So it's the wiggly shit, right?

All right, so let's hear Rick Wiles' from his stupid fucking site, True News. This Marxist-Communist anti-Christ revolution that is... Where is he talking about? Oh, I

know, yeah. Argentina? I have literally no idea. No, I have no idea. He doesn't have any idea. These guys, anything that isn't give all the money to Amazon.com, they don't know what to do. They have no idea what to do.

I don't know, did Pfizer get your money? Because if not, we don't know what to do. Any attempt to tax people in order to pay for a social program, they identify as communism because they don't know what communism is. They have no idea. Or they know,

and they know the listeners don't know. Yeah, because it's a boogeyman. It's one of those things that you can say and scares people enough. You did some research on how many people of the young generation are actually for social programs. They're for social. The younger generation is the largest voting bloc. Wildly. And they're for social

programs in a huge way. Yeah, wildly pro most social issues. The millennials and then the post-millennial generation are very much not only left-leaning, but progressive-leaning. very much not only left-leaning, but progressive-leaning. Issues that matter the most to them are gun control, reforms in the way that education is financed, and single-payer health care. So, I mean, we're talking about deeply progressive left-leaning issues. Absolutely. Socialist issues. That's what they care about.

Yeah. Totally socialist issues. Yeah. It's interesting, too, because a couple people, and I was reading through some of the chat stuff yesterday when we were asking people why didn't you vote? Like, why didn't you vote? And a lot

of people were saying, like, they felt like it wasn't going to do anything. But, you know, one of the things that you mentioned is this is a large voting bloc. All it would take is you to just realize it will do something. And it will. Because you are the largest voting bloc. That's literally all it takes. And I said it yesterday, but it bears repeating in case you to just realize it will do something. And it will. Because you are the largest voting bloc. That's literally all it takes.

And I said it yesterday, but it bears repeating in case you didn't hear the live thing. Young people are in control completely. Yeah. And what they have done is they have ceded control. They have all the political power in this country. All of it. They either don't know it. All of it.

They don't believe it or they don't act on it. But they have it. Just numerically. They have don't know it, they don't believe it, or they don't act on it, but they have it. Just numerically. They have all of the power, not a little bit. They have a vast majority of the voting bloc is millennials and post-millennials.

They have all the power to decide the fate and the future and the direction of this country. They simply choose to hand it over to the baby boomers. Yeah. They let them drive. Not even me and you.

You're letting grandpa drive. Yes. You're letting grandpa drive. You're saying, hey, I know that you don't stand for the same issues, but I would rather just not. Yeah. And so you're right. It's got to be either laziness or it's got to be that they don't think that they have it. They don't realize it.

But I'm here to tell you, you do. Yeah. You do. Numerically. You do. You guys are winning. You're it. Yeah. Tag, you're it. It's your realize it. But I'm here to tell you, you do. Yeah, you do. Numerically. You do. You guys are winning. You're it. Yeah.

Tag, you're it. It's your turn now. Right. It's your turn. Easiest race you've ever run in your life. Yeah. You just have to all show up.

Yeah. All you have to do is just walk to the polls. And then you win. It's the easiest way to be a superhero. You get everything you want every time you want it.

All you have to do is show up. Yep. Because, and the thing is like, all it would take, all it would ever, all it would take for all it would ever, all it would take for the entire landscape

of American politics to fundamentally shift is for one big area, big race to overwhelmingly be decided by Gen X, post Gen X people. So, you know, let's say in Florida, every, all those young people showed up in mass. It's just Florida, every all those young people showed up in mass.

It's just fucking record numbers of fucking young people showed up. And Terry Gillum didn't just win, but he crushed it. Seventy thirty, 70 percent, 30. That's literally all it would take to change the entire landscape of American politics, because every Democrat running from then on out would realize the power. They would study Gillum's technique and then those populist social issues would become the only thing anybody talked about. And it's scaring the shit out of this guy. It is. It's scaring the shit out of this guy. This should scare Republicans, right? Because Republicans, I mean, it's been said before, but really like generationally, this is a last gasp. Yeah. Because not only the issues that Republicans vote and win on, those are issues that old people who are dying, literally just dying off, and are numerically less significant.

Those are their issues. So they're holding on to power with a set of messages that are either going to need to fundamentally shift to the left or they're going to have to. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. How else do they remain relevant in nine, 10 years when folks like my dad is 71 ages out of the ages out of the population? You're out of the pool. And we talked about it as well. One of the things that we mentioned, you know, another thing, too, is that there's for the the last election, You know, another thing, too, is that there's for the last election, there was more people who voted in the last election than any of the elections before it. But the voter turnout was very low. It was low on a percentage basis. The voter turnout was low, but it was more people that voted in that election than any other election before it. And that's just I mean, it's just because the population is growing and the millennial base is huge. The millennials are so many more than the boomers.

Huge. Yeah. In full bloom in the United States is huge. Yeah, the millennials are so many more than the boomers. Huge, yeah. In full bloom in the United States of America. Folks, make no mistake about it. This thing is anti-Christian. Yes. They hate God. These people are against God. These people love to—

Who are they again? I don't know. It's unclear to me. I think he's talking about Democrats because he's clearly talking about if Democrats get in, you know, so maybe they hate, maybe he's talking about Democrats hating God, I guess, you know, but that's like one of those things

that they constantly harp on is like that they just hate God, just hate God. And it's like, no, we just don't care about your God. What we just want is everybody to not care about God in the same way so that they're not pushing

one God over another God. I do remember when the people were hungry and Jesus said, well, do you have any cash? Yeah. Is there, you know, hey. I do remember that the people were hungry and Jesus said, well, do you have any cash? Yeah. Is there, you know, Hey,

I do remember that. Exactly. What can you, what can you give me? Yeah. These people love to abort babies. I mean, I don't love it.

Who loves to abort babies? If you love to abort babies, why wouldn't you, why would there be, why wouldn't there be zero amounts of female birth control then? If people love to abort babies, wouldn't there just be like, well, we don't need that. We're just going to get rid of it

anyway. I'm just going to coat hanger the fuck out of this thing in a month. Nothing like cramps, said nobody under any circumstances. I mean, the thing is, I think if you need an abortion, that's a really good... Go get the abortion. You've had a good day. You need an abortion. You've got an abortion.

That's better than I needed an abortion and I didn't get the abortion. It's a fucking million times better. Yeah. I don't think anybody's like, Oh man, like we could go out to the club, but I don't know. I thought I'd get pregnant and then go have an abortion. So psyched for this abortion. God, it's going to be so sweet. I'm having an abortion party. Can't wait. We're going to, we're going to actually live stream it on Instagram. So if you want to check it out, you i'm gonna i'm gonna post pictures of my abortion and call myself an unmother hashtag hashtag coat hanger they love to promote sexual immorality they they're everything that drives what kind yeah i mean hey sure sounds good why also why is that any of your fucking business

yeah curious what what the the immorality of course is Gay stuff, it's not lesbian stuff It's not rape They don't give a shit about that It's not actual sexual Immorality, right Where it actually injures another person It's not that

Unless it has to do with children They're doing the pizza gate thing Yeah, but even that It's not the sexual immorality that's leveled at children time and time and time and time and time and time again by every organized church

across the entire country from the Catholics to the Jehovah's Witnesses to the Mormons to the name any one of them and they all have a fucking child sex scandal. It's not that. They're not like saying, hey, you know what, maybe there's something here. It's not that sexual immorality a fucking child sex scandal it's not that yeah that they're not like saying hey you know what maybe it's not that sexual immorality right yeah instead it's like those dudes kissed and then mama pants are tight is in opposition to god yes and his moral laws

that is the centerpiece of their agenda they see god as the problem yes they see okay this yeah so no that's the thing is like they don't want you to be able to do that they don't want you to look at their imaginary friend and be like no i don't fucking believe in that it's dumb yeah like i'll take a page from from i'm hearing noah's voice in my head which yeah it's gross but i'm hearing noah's voice in my head it's like yeah it's it's only religion or it's religion is one of the major factors that like causes good people to do these kinds of shit. Right? Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, I

got a problem with it. Me too. Hence this show. Me too. God as the problem. Listen to me. Every nation that has been taken over by Marxist communists. So Russia,

is that super redundant? China. It is like a team machine or it's racist South. Like we mentioned earlier, he redundantly repeating that. I think he should reiterate this iteration. I see what you did there. But,

uh, okay. So Russia, which is not China anymore. China, Cuba, Cuba, uh, Cambodia, so Russia, which is not China anymore. China. Cuba. Cuba. Cambodia at one point.

Laos, maybe. Yeah, I know. Vietnam. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I can't think of anything else. Korea. Is Korea one or no?

Is that? It's communist. Well, I don't know. The state controls everything and doesn't give anything out to anyone. I don't know what you call that. It's not anything. Like autocratic dictatorship. Mine, not yours.

Yeah, that's what it is. That's just... What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine. Go spend three generations. And that's a landmine. Yeah, go spend three generations in a camp.

Enjoy your rock soup. Eat this piece of grass or bark. Oh, we're having nothing with air sauce again. That's what I had for breakfast. Delicious. No, but I'm trying to think, like, what are those countries? Because he's saying, every single one you see, and you're just like,

our lifetime hasn't yielded one. And interestingly, like, in that case, like, if you count the actual communist nations, they were not strictly, as you mentioned, not strictly Marxist communist nations. And then you exclude heavily socialist

nations. And he's railing against social programs, of course, not communist programs. But like, I don't know, man. Like, Sweden's doing pretty sweet. Norway's all right. Finland's happy. You know? Like, we're just skipping the examples we don't like

because it makes us feel weird. Because we want to talk about ones that are happening in we don't like. Yeah. Because it makes us feel weird. Because we want to talk about ones that are happening in South America. Right. Yeah. That's what we want to talk about. Yes. Exactly. They immediately kill the pastors.

They immediately kill Christians. They immediately burn the churches. Why? Because the cross. Like I said earlier, I don't think we're talking about communist countries. And also, you can go to church in Finland. So... This is their enemy.

Do not be fooled by what's happening in America. The people, these anarchists in America... What, now they're anarchists? Wait, I thought they were communists. No, they're communist anarchists, which might seem diametrically opposed to one another just on fundamental principles, Cecil, but if you say two scary words next to each other,

it makes those words scarier. It's like a magic spell you're casting. It's like if you say something that sounds Latin, it's like immediately magic. Their enemy is not the republican party their enemy isn't corporations their enemy is the church oh yeah they're coming against the church yes that's gross nobody literally nobody cares about the church the only time anybody cares about the church is when they're causing harm to people that are innocent or when they are pushing their beliefs onto a large swath of the population. Other than that, like, would you ever think

about the Catholic church even existing? I wouldn't. You wouldn't even notice it. You wouldn't even notice it. Right. It would have no, I barely notice it now. To be honest, if you and I didn't do this show, I would, I would not find issues of the... It would never even rise to my attention. Wouldn't even care about it. Would never rise to my attention. It's the same thing. It'd be like NBA scores to you.

Right. You would just be like, I just don't care. I don't follow it. I literally don't even care. Those guys bouncing a ball around that didn't include me, the end. Yep. You're exactly right. It's the same thing.

Yep. But instead, it's like... But suddenly, if we're trying to like, you know, make sure that everybody has to do a slam dunk on the way to work every morning or something, well, there's a problem.

This is a guy though, who wants to be important and he wants like his worldview to be the center, like the hub, because the church is the hub for him. And I think like these guys don't understand. It's like, it's not like the church is not the hub of my life in that I am constantly feeling this sense of vehement rage and opposition. Like the hub of my life is me. Yeah. Like it's not this crazy set of made up ideas in a building

where people pretend grape juice is blood. Like that's not my thing. And I've been warning people for years and years and years. You better get ready. You better be prepared. If these people ever get power, they're going to slaughter tens of thousands of pastors. Are we talking about the Democrats? Cause they, they had that in 2008.

They, they basically had all of it. And they didn't slaughter yet a single pastor. I literally, at this point, am not sure who he's talking about. He's got to be the Democrats, though, right? Because he's talking about the election. I know he's talking about the election, but at the same time, it's like, I can't make heads or tails out of it. I really can't make heads or tails out of it. I really can't. Is he genuinely conflating

the Democratic Party in America with violent, anarchic, communists, hell-bent on the wholesale slaughter of Christians? Of priests and churches.

Is he genuinely saying that? I don't know. Has he ever had a book, like any book,? Like any book. Like literally. Or a manifesto. Like a four-page one. A four-pager.

You have to pull an all-nighter to get your four-pager done. What do the cliff notes for that thing look like? Pop an Adderall. It's four pages long, guys. It's really long. It's going to take me the whole night. Put on 30 more pots of coffee. Do you like to fuck?

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Treat your genitals to a good time. Well, Tom, it is time. Yes, indeed. To do some Vulgarity for Charity, and we have invited the scathing atheist guys back on, Noah, Heath, and Eli. How you guys doing? Hey, guys.

I am ready to roast. Roast it. Speaking of which, you guys look like Beavis and Butthead was recast for Diabetic Tolkien Dwarves. See? I'm ready. You're my house. You guys look like Bert and Ernie as Civil War veterans. But if it was more obvious they were gay and on the Confederate side.

Like really? Obviously the Confederate side. All right. What side were you on? Anyway, before we begin, tonight a huge thanks to all of our donors. At this point, we have raised... $15,034.82. What? No, wait, wasn't the whole point for

Eli to do it? Did you think he would remember that? I was working on my blog. Crushing it. That's going so well. If there's someone in your life cruising for an emotional bruising, send us a picture and some info along with proof of your donation to modestneeds.org. Send it to

vulgarityforcharity at gmail.com and you can join in the fun but don't wait we're doing an order and the last day to donate is november 21st at midnight yeah if you wait we're gonna sprinkle it out over other shows and you won't know where it is unless you listen to every episode of all of our shows so get with it bitches yeah! Get with it, bitches? I have used up 100% of the little funny I had on these jokes. That is apparent. Alright, gentlemen. Our first roast

request comes from Brian and Mark, who would like a spit roasting of Jacob Wohl, the whiz kid whose attempts to trap Robert Mueller so far have involved a bucket and some strength. He's so stupid! Have at him some strength. He's so stupid. Have at him, gentlemen.

He's the best person. He's a child prodigy, thank you very much. He looks like the kind of guy that would buy a patent for a necessary HIV medication and then raise the price by a couple thousand percent. He looks like I could go to the hair product aisle of Walmart and start playing an oboe and he'd rise up out of a jar of hair gel like a charmed cobra.

That's fantastic. Cecil. D would like a roast for people who make hearts with their hands. Wait, what? Hand hearts. What? I don't write these requests, Cecil. All like a rose for people who make hearts with their hands. Wait, hand hearts. I don't write these requests. All right.

All right. All right. People who make hearts with their hands do cross country pilgrimages following in the footsteps of Guy Fieri. People who make hearts with their hands also say bucko a lot and they constantly shooting finger guns. Hey, people who make hearts with their hands.

How's it feel knowing that your Pinterest post will last longer than your relationship? shooting finger guns. Hey, people who make hearts with their hands, how's it feel knowing that your Pinterest post will last longer than your relationship? Oh, Jesus. Yeah, and mostly because any of us could carry on a more interesting conversation

than you by holding up random Cards Against Humanity cards. All right, Noah, this one is right up your alley. Michael would like a roast for his abortion protesters. Oh, and he sent a little picture. There's this sad ass group, a little old, pathetic people. Okay, look, I'm going to be a little more sympathetic than normal here

because I see how this is hard to understand when you have fewer digits in your IQ than there are in computer code. And I know you guys are all still super proud of making that plus sign with your mom's piss. What with it being the last time you passed a fucking test. But we're aborting them because they're fetuses. It's not

just a thing we have against feeble weaklings with undeveloped brains that nobody wants. You're taking it personally. It's not just that. All right, Eli. Dawn would like a roast for her husband, Everett. This is his birthday present.

Oh, because why settle for a blowjob when you can have people say mean things about you on the internet? Okay, Everett looks like he's always about to say country fried chicken. He looks like the mugshot for the headline kids menu molester. He looks like the guy from Serenity traded his tricked out

gun for waffles. Happy birthday, Everett. Here's hoping for many more and that Don's eyesight never comes back, buddy. Alright, Tom, this one's for you. Matthew needs one of those signature Tom-style soul-crushing tirades for his son's biological father, who's apparently a giant asshole. We'll give it a try.

I don't know. You know, most experts agree that men reserve expending their resources for the caretaking of their own children in order to further their genetic line. In fact, 200,000 years of evolution, the whole of human history, the success of the 7 billion people that have populated every corner of the earth is in part the result of this simple strategy. So, you know, you have to be a special kind of worthless shit. When in defiance of nature itself, someone sees you as a father, wrap their arms protectively around your children and says, you know what? I've got this. Also, you look like Guy Fi's less successful older brother he looks like the after picture for quitting heroin cold turkey

by eating literal cold turkeys all right next up justin gave us 100 bucks to roast bruce spear pastor of crosspoint church in missoula montana you'll remember this guy because his church put up a large campaign sign in support of Republican candidates for U.S. Senate and Congress. So Cecil, make it a good one. All right, so I just want to just

pause here on Crosspoint Church. It doesn't make a fucking lick of sense. I mean, when Jesus was on the cross, he could only point north and south. That's it, right? It doesn't make any sense. But anyway, this guy, he looks like the Targaryen

from Game of Thrones whose game was so bad he couldn't even score with any of his family members. So he decided to become an insult with the Night's Wash or a maester baiter. Maester baiter.

There you go. All right, Eli. We've got a special request for you. Of course you did. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. From Ben to roast Cody, the wannabe alt rocker who fucked up his car and then robbed him.

I mean, isn't alt rocker roast enough? You would think so. You would think so. Seems seems apparent, but apparently not actually. Okay. Okay. First of all cody nobody with your name rocks nobody nobody with your name does anything but die of a childhood peanut

allergy and sadly for all of us cody you missed the boat on that one uh and i know you think you look like edward cullen but if you had played him or Jacob in the Twilight movies, I'd be on team steak, just so you know. There's no harder burn than admitting you've watched all the Twilight movies, Eli. Thank you. Noah, Chris would like a roasting for his PhD advisor, Steve, and we figured you're the one to make with the smart guy words to do it. Alright, so yeah, Chris is working on his dissertation

on the effects of THC and CBD, and he can't just make his thesis statement, it would make you less of an asshole, Steve. And also, he's not allowed to respond to the petty, disrespectful margin notes by pointing out that Steve looks like the janitor that got arrested for propositioning Dora the Explorer.

Alright, so Tom, in similar fashion, Ryan gave us $55 to roast his boss, but can you do that in sweet, sweet corporate speak? Alright, I'll try. You know, we do consider it to be one of our core competencies to only tell the

truth here on Vulgarity for Charity. To invest only in the kinds of synergistic collaborations that create real buy-in. And to that end, Ryan, I feel empowered to say that your boss has no downstream potential. Any real attempt to quantify how truly lacking in basic human decency he is would be boiling the ocean. No movement towards scalability could

capture the depth of his ignorance, the fragility of his masculinity, or the creepiness of his goatee. Dude looks like he threatens to give hookers one star on Yelp. Oh, God. I need a toothbrush to get that out of my mouth. All right, Heath. Your ex-girlfriend gave us $13.

$13? Fuck you. You gave $13? What the fuck is wrong with you? $13. $13. Crushing it. $13.

Don't your parents have money? Oh, go ahead. Why else would I be dating her? Tell them it's for art school. Maybe that fashion career isn't taking off. Making her literally the only person. The only person. Less than $50.

Eli, your mom also did it. She just sent it to the wrong place. She did. My mom donated money to our PayPal. Not my money. She says in the note, this is for vulgar my, my name. She says, she says in the note, this is for vulgarity for charity.

Here's 25 bucks and sold whoever you want. And I'm like, I guess I bet I know who Eli's going to go. All right. And luckily for her. And I mean, let's be honest, all of us,

Hunter is a God among men and donated 500 bucks to make up for the lazy, the poor, and the incurably stupid. I won't say which one of those your ex is, but I have seen her almost drown in a glass of ice water. So are you ready to wreck your second chance? She did turn that cup inside out at the end of the almost drowning. I forgot. I forgot. All right. all right well uh rachel looks like someone who needs to write a check for 37 fucking more dollars

maybe round up some of the plague rats that are feasting on the chicken bones and half-eaten yogurt containers that are strewn about your apartment between layers of straw and sell those rats to a pet store. I don't know. You can find $37 somehow in your life. Jesus Christ. Rachel looks like if the nose broke off the Sphinx to go find itself in New York, but instead it ended up making winter jackets for Walmart. Be nice, guys. Rachel

spent that extra $37 on unlimited cellular minutes. Hey, Rachel, you can give it to the needy. Nobody fucking wants to talk to you. Actually, hey, maybe give those minutes to your mom. Just, I would...

She's a little closer to my age. She's attractive. All right. Well, with Heath firmly committed to the bachelor of life, let's turn things over to our first celebrity guest roaster, Seth Andrews of the Thinking Atheist podcast. Hey, this is Seth Andrews, host of the Thinking Atheist radio podcast. For the record, I wrote none of these. I washed my hands of all of them, okay? Jeff wrote in asking for a roast of himself, and he wanted it read by me.

So, okay, here you go, and thank you for your donation, Jeff. And thanks for making this easy by looking like the snooty butler in a Chinese opera. You know, they say everyone owes 1% of their DNA to Genghis Khan. Well, now we know who got the other 99%. It was Jeff. Next up, Taru gave 232 bones to the cause in order to roast Sean Hannity. But Jesus Christ, what can be said about Sean Hannity that has not already been said about Mark Wahlberg's diarrhea? Sean Hannity looks like if Augustus Gloop's ghost had fallen into a river of cum instead of chocolate.

The only thing worse than his looks is his choice of legal defense. thing worse than his looks is his choice of legal defense. And finally, Johanna donated $165 to give for her co-worker Junji, which I think seems unfair. I mean, he's done so much good for atheism. With a name in the face of an old-timey racist cartoon sidekick, how can you not love this guy? racist cartoon sidekick, how can you not love this guy? Junji, you look like Jackie Chan's stunt double in a hot dog eating contest. And while Johanna tells me that you spend most of your workday sitting on your ass playing video games, you seem to me like the kind of guy who plays the campaign of black ops on easy and then logs on to tell everybody hey i'm online this is seth andrews of the thinking atheist podcast and there has got to be a better way for us to raise money all right thank you seth all right next up we got a donation from jared asking us to roast

jean-benet ramsey eli now is your chance. Really? No. Fuck you. Alright. Jean Benet Ramsey. Katy Perry looks like Justin Bieber's personality. Okay, Eli. For realsies this time. Joe gave us money to roast his

family. So, have at him. I mean, there's so much to work with here, but he did only give us 50 bucks. So I got to do a three for one. Can you ever not be Jewish? Cecil, you sound just like Joe's family. How about this? Your family looks like they went to get the family photo

taken at the mall, but two of them were just in it for the Cinnabon. They look like if the Manson family had just decided to kill the working class, like earlier that afternoon from the picture we saw, it looked like somebody should caption the photo before the daddy, daughter purity ball. Yeah. Your sister looks like she's going to wake up like tomorrow and look like your mom.

And she'll have to develop a personality at that point. But no, she won't. She will not. And then she'll stand on the wrong side of the Confederate statue rally on the opposite street and get hit by a car. And she'll know the Nazi who drove it. They'll both have a little laugh. But then she'll die.

Jesus. Okay, Tom, I got one for you. Chris donated 50 bucks for us to roast Cecil for not being my best friend. What say you, Tom? You want to do one of your big long... I don't know. I mean, like, what am I supposed to say? Cecil and I have been close friends for over 20 years.

So clearly he makes terrible decisions. I don't... Feels like that shouldn't count. Just a hurtful thing to say. Speaking of the devil, Cecil. Happens all the time. It's the beard. Yeah. Pointy. It's pointy. Very much. Ashley would like a roast for her ex-husband.

Her ex-husband looks like someone shit out all the least attractive parts of Andre the Giant and then rearranged him in the most offensive way you can. Yeah, he looks like Sam Kinison trying to sell Amway that day. Put on a shirt with a collar. Okay, Noah, this next one is for you. Crouchy would like a roast for Australian politician Lyle Shelton. Oh, wow.

How will I ever make fun of a professional homophobe whose Wikipedia bullet points included he campaigned against the safe schools program? He did. That's amazing. Yeah. All right. Lyle Shelton looks like Steve Young got eaten by a wombat and shit out whole. But the most offensive thing about this guy is this guy, though, right?

He makes his living shouting to everybody who will listen about how gay he isn't. Honestly, he looks like a naked mole rat found clothing. Like a naked mole rat broke into men's warehouse and got a shitty suit. And he definitely should not, but he likes the way he looks. He's proud, but he should not be. Yeah, he's the world's longest setup to straight bait porn.

So it's like, all right. 26 years, I get it. This is good. All right, well, I feel good and warmed up, which means it is time for a mini challenge round. Mini, did you do the boomy voice? I did not do the boomy voice. I hate you. All right, this mini challenge round. Mini. Did you do the boomy voice? I did not do the boomy voice. I hate you.

All right. This mini challenge is for the man children. Oh, Heath, that's us. I know. I know. All right, Eli. Natalie would like a roast

for her pug, Pete. Heath, Dustin would like a roast for his dog, Lucy. No, no, no. Can we like switch it up? No, no, no. No switchies. No switchies.

No. Can we point out? No, no. You can't point out that they up? No, no, no. No switchies. No switchies. Can we point out... No, no. You can't point out that they are the bestest boy or girl. It's a dog. Who cares? Cruel. Hateful and cruel. Okay. Pete looks like breathing for him is as hard as it is to love him.

I didn't mean it, Pete. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And Lucy is the bestest girl. Fuck. Okay, no. Lucy looks like a giant blackberry went bad under the fridge for like a year. All right, well, let's get friendly. We've got some folks who sent in their friend for a proper shake and bake.

So the following insults must begin with, with friends like these. Now, Noah, you friends like these. Now, Noah, you're up first. Are you ready? As I'll ever be. All right. Derek would like a roast for his friend,

Brad. Okay. Well, Brad is a self-loathing Oregon hipster who probably talks to you about how it's best to listen to podcasts on vinyl. Fucking looks like Domenico Dolce fucked Groot. So I'm going to guess with friends like these, who needs melatonin?

All right. Cecil got an insult from Jeremy to his buddy, Josh. All right. So Josh looks like he can't decide on a personal style. He vacillates between coked up, just out of jail, Robert Downey Jr.

or post rape after glow, Kevin Spacey. So I guess with friends like these, who needs Netflix? All right, Eli, Kenny would like you to roast Ryan. Okay, for this one, you got to understand that Ryan likes to dress up as a pirate and is the pinkest human I have ever seen. So with friends like these these who needs vitamin C, seriously,

Ryan, there's authentic and there's authentic. Look like you're about to tie together a Dutch wife made of your own feet. That episode actually isn't coming out in a couple of weeks. So, okay. Well, Ryan,

you check back in then because that was a sweet burn. Times linear direction. It's always getting in the way of your jokes. Thank you. Noah a sweet burn. Sweet burn. Time's linear direction. It's always getting in the way of your jokes. Thank you, Noah. I'm going to go next because I know that to really hurt someone, it helps to love them just a little bit too. That fucks with their head.

This one goes out to Corey from Kevin. With friends like Corey, who needs insulin? Probably Corey. For real. Kevin. So with friends like Corey, who needs insulin? Well, actually probably Corey for real. I've never seen someone before who looks so much like they got into a fight with a flavor injector and lost.

All right. Heath, one last friendship for you to destroy. Give us some sauce to throw from Colin to his friend. Jay. And here's a picture of Jay holding a filthy-looking dessert product. All right. Jay looks like he just finished coming inside several dozen pink marshmallows.

And he's about to eat the last one. He's eaten all of them except the last one. He's holding the last one. Also, his cum is partially green, apparently. So basically, the most epic failure of the Stanford marshmallow test in the history of psychologists. Also, he failed

the test about not having green cum. That test he also did. So with friends like these, who needs green cum, I guess? All right, Cecil. This next one is for you. Keith would like us to roast him. So do your worst.

All right, Keith, you look like a fucking Republican. No, but seriously, you look like the kind of guy who long ago decided that the best public service you could do is sort of cover up your face with as much hair as you possibly can. Trust me, it takes one to know one. It looks like a member of the Lollipop Guild fell asleep in the sun for like 50 years of sun stuff. He's Rumpelstiltskin Cancer. Amazing. You look like the guy

Kid Rock tried gay stuff with. Alright, Tom, since we're on the topic of self-flagellation, I got one for you. Tim has requested we roast him. So go for it. Yeah, alright, but like what the hell kind of self-centered narcissist, when given a chance to have anyone in the

entire world roasted, still can't take his limp pathetic micro penis out of his own mouth long enough to utter the name of even one other person that he knows you know what kind of person tim and what kind of boring self-obsessed in-cell recruitment manager would pause and scrape the cheeto dust out of his foreskin long enough to email us and ask us to watch him jerk off like this. Tim. Tom's doing the thing. Tom's recycling the heat.

All right, Noah, let's turn this into a full on circle jerk with you roasting Martina and her boyfriend who gave us 100 bucks to help them self immolate. You look like the couple Martin Shkreli pays to sit behind him and laugh at his sick burns. Also, Martina is way more attractive than her boyfriend and he's a chemist. I'm not saying those two things are related. I'm just saying Martina, stop taking

the medicine. Alright, now we'll do it for the second installment. Wait, wait, Tom, that's it? Wait, that's what? What are we talking about? for the second installment. Wait, wait. Tom, that's it? Wait, that's what? What are you talking about? I don't know. The ending seemed kind of slapdash.

We finished with one of Anna's songs on the last one. Do you know? Oh, no, that's true. That's true. Well, wait. We could get one of our roasties to stand close to a fire pole. I don't think it has to be related to our wives, Tom. You didn't even let me finish. Oh, okay.

I got one. Joel gave us $500 for me to roast Heath as Melania using as many puns as I can. No, no. I feel like the spirit of the whole thing isn't to like... Hell, for $500, we should bring out all the characters, right? Maybe we just do like a quick thing and we move on. We just do like a fast little thing. Hit the doodly-doo, Cecil!

God damn it. Well, hello. I'm Mar-a-Lago Trump. Um, Mrs. Trump, I'm pretty sure your name is Melania. We've been over this. Don't be silly, Jarrah Sockaby-Janders. If my name wasn't Mar-a-Lago, why would Donald say it when he comes? Wow, that's vivid.

That's very vivid. Yeah. Yeah. And, John, we're here to talk about Heath Enright. Do you know the tall one who loves ramen? I'm pretty sure he's a complicated person with a myriad

of interests there, Melania. He's got lots of stuff going on besides that. Don't be silly, Derek Jockerby Sanders. He just loves ramen. That's insulting to just dwell on that. And I'm Mike Pence. Fuck you. You're the worst.

Go write another op-ed for the New York Times, Mike Pence. I didn't. Yeah, you did. You look like a chave snitch from the Dr. Seuss book. That's absolutely accurate. You look like the Crypt Keeper's racist dad. You're gross. I thought we were doing Heath.

Yeah, well, Ian tossed him some dough for this one. So as my brother used to say about a box full of puppies, this one's a twofer. Speaking of two for one. Oh my gosh. Everybody, just inside out little girl. Hello, everyone. I'm a character from a different show

that you only know about if you've been paying super close attention for a really long time. And I'm here to let you know that listening to Noah do Inside Out Little Girl's voice is the closest to the inside of a woman that he's spent in at least eight months. Thanks, Inside Out Little Girl. Appreciate it. It's enough. Why, it's demon voice person that Tom does. Hey there. Hey, you know, you do like 45 characters and they're all like, they're just Cartman or an Australian.

If you have to talk for longer than 30 seconds. Do your accents change? All right. In all the depths of hell, in all the torment and pain, the despair, the unending soul crushing loneliness of an eternity without hope. Amidst the torment and pain, the despair, the unending soul-crushing loneliness of an eternity without hope, amidst the horror and misery, the endless stretch of the vast nothing upon which the fortitude of great men lay broken. There, and even there, in that depravity, where anguish is the only reprieve from the infinity of nothing,

even there, it is said that to look upon Heath is to see the abyss and to shudder. Do not disfeel Les Fong when we do it while he's right here. Hey, now, you just wait now one cotton-picking minute. Don't you talk about that Heath Enright like that. It's hillbilly good. That's right.

Look, I made Heath perfect just the way he is. I made him in my image. He's, Keith is my not-so-hung Frankenstein. He's, he's my white, very racist Andrew Golem. Just said it, Killbilly Gong. Jew? Wait, where's the Jew? I don't, I don't.

Well, we sure did have a lot of fun today. You can't finish without me. Call the Pug-a-Peg-a-Corn. And Heath, you look like a loaf of garlic bread fell into a bucket of carrot tops pubes. Oh, he made the garlic bread thing work. Good for him. Good for him. But don't forget about me.

Tony D. But come on. Those are the same voice. The same exact voice. The exact same thing. Yeah, I know. We tried to tell. Come on down to Tony D's house at Heath and Ray.

We got buns. I hate you. That's it. I want to turn. It's me, Ben Carson. You know, we've had a lot of fun at Heath's expense today, like pointing out that he looked like Redbeard got AIDS. But ladies, if you're out there.

And we know you're out there. All we are saying is give him the chance. It's nice when Krujic to know him. I mean, if he ever responds to your messages.

All we are saying is give him the chance. Give him the chance, y'all. messages. Are we still doing this? Give Heath a chance, y'all. Merry Christmas. Is that a character he does? I don't know, man. There's a lot. There is a lot. Alright, and on that

bizarre and uplifting ending, we'll take a quick break, but we'll be back on next week's scathing for the penultimate roast-a-thon. Remember, you can play along until the 21st of November, so if you want to get in on the action, give till it hurts over at ModestNeeds.org and send us the proof and what we need to know about the victim with a picture, if you please, to vulgarityforcharity at gmail.com.

So we're going to cover some of the email that we got. We're going to save the patrons for next week, but we're going to do a little bit of email here. We got a message from Michael who let us know that Twitter is still awful, and it's right. He's absolutely right. He says that he basically reports people all the time, and he gets messages and sort of a canned message back. It's like, we reviewed

this report and found that the conduct does not violate our terms of service. And he says, so, you know, it's not we're not, I don't think we're going to depict it as perfect, but it is good that they're getting rid of some people. Yeah. I mean, this is,

we talked about this at election night, like don't choose worse. Don't, don't refuse to choose bad. If the only choices are bad and worse. Right. So I think Twitter is deeply problematic. I'm just happy that it is getting better.

I don't really care what the mechanism is to make it a little bit better. I'm glad that it's getting a little bit better. We got a message from Ed and he wanted us to know that there's a podcast called Cross Examined or something like that. And they have the same opening music. It is not our music. And that's actually on our FAQ. We don't own that music. And we just found it. I think it came with like a long time ago. It came with a, a pack that either final cut pro or something else had sound, some sound program that I had bought. And it came with a pack of canned music. And I chose that music when I sent Tom like five different songs and we're choosing it

because neither of us knew how to write a thing many years ago. And so I was just like, Tom, what do you think of this one? And he's like, sounds good. Yeah. Put as much thought into it as those people did at their podcast. Uh, we got a message from Jay and Jay says, they're just listening to the episode.

Uh, you were talking about free speech and the social contract. I'm curious, do you have a backup plan for if you're, if you were kicked off Patreon, iTunes, et cetera. Um,

I will tell you this, Jay. The backup plan is that we do what we were doing all along. When Tom and I first started this show, we were recording from our respective houses, mixing them and posting them. We wouldn't be able to do some of the fun stuff that we get a chance to do, like improve our setup so that we can have video

or donate large amounts of money to charities or travel to meet fans in different places, parts of the country. But we'd still be doing the show. It just wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be the same level. We'd have to scale it back.

We'd have to scale back the operation. Exactly what we're doing. We didn't make a dollar for like five years. Yeah. Four or five years. It was a long time. Yeah. So, but I get the larger point.

The larger point is like that i think he's trying to make is you know if you're okay with having other people de-platformed on these on these places like why are you different i think the reason that we're different um is the same reason that uh you know many other programs are not in fear don't live in fear of being de-platformed is i don't use hate speech i we don't, we don't espouse hatred and violence and like that. And then we never have. And we abide by the terms of services of the services that we engage, you know?

Right. So I'm not, I'm not afraid of this at all. Yeah. We're two moral individuals who wouldn't do that. Right. So there's, I don't feel like there's anything going to ever of that yeah now if you know some distinction you know if there was some crazy racist billionaire out there went out and snapped up all these companies like a bill gates and they go out of their way to snap up all these companies all these big ass companies and these

are billion dollar companies so you have to be a really fucking rich dude or chick to be able to get all these companies but let's just say for the sake of argument they did, and they just started deplatforming people. It's their terms of service. It's their piece of the property. It would suck. It would suck. To have that happen to you.

I get that. Like if it was, if you felt that that was unfair, I think that the point I want to make is like, you can't just say that all speech is equivalent. You do have to ask, well, what did they say?

What did they say? Yeah. You know, that matters when it comes to, you know, did that speech violate a larger social contract? It's the same thing that happens when people lose their jobs over stuff. You know, would you lose it? Would you lose your job if you just, um, you know, like if you just read a poem out and out in the, in the world that wasn't filthy or dirty or anything, right? If you just read a poem, like roses are red, violets are blue, and you're reading a poem.

Or if you're reading a hate-filled, you know, speak, some kind of hate-filled manifesto. Would you lose your job for either of those if they were filmed? Ask yourself that. And one of them you're going to lose your job for. If you're dropping N-bombs on the corner,

screaming at people, and you get filmed doing that, chances are you're going to lose your fucking job. You're going to lose your company. Right. You know, there's dropping N-bombs on the corner, screaming at people, and you get filmed doing that, chances are you're going to lose your fucking job. You're going to lose your company. Right. You know, there's social consequences to that. But what you won't do is go to jail. Yeah, right.

You won't go to jail. You won't go to jail. You won't go to jail. But you'll lose their social consequences. There's social consequences on these sites as well. Got a message from Brandon, and Brandon said, hey, I just want to let you know that,

you know, you mentioned the use of Anon the last time we were talking about Liz Crokin. And he said, I just want to let you know that, you know, you mentioned the use of Anon the last time we were talking about Liz Crokin. And he said, I just want, you know, and we were saying that we were making it sound like it sounds like it's more important than using the word anonymous. But he says, isn't Anon a nickname used by 4chan users? Is she just reporting on a 4chan thread? I think you're right. But when she says Anon, you have to understand she's distilling 4chan down for people who don't read 4chan. Right.

You know, watch all her videos, and she will hand wave off the research that you would need to do to sort of be in the know with her. She'll tell you, read the Podesta emails, but that doesn't mean you should go read the Podesta. You should let me distill it to you. And so that's what she's doing with 4chan as well. I just feel like it's an anonymous thing.

You're saying anonymous. Somebody who isn't on 4chan and is just watching Liz's thing might not know. And so they'd be like, what is anonymous? Maybe that's just a user on 4chan, not somebody who's, you know, like anonymous, actually anonymous. Well, also, I think it's easy to conflate that with QAnon,

which people think is a real person. It's a person. It's a human. Right. Well, probably several. We got a message from Mark who's digging through the back catalog and he was talking about, at one point,

we were talking about an amputee and prosthetic stuff. And he had said that he had an accident. And my favorite thing is the image. He has a prosthetic eye. He says he doesn't wear a prosthetic eye. He's missing an eye and he doesn't have a prosthetic eye.

But what he does have is he has a bunch of safety glasses. Is there glasses? And one of them, my favorite one here is he has safety glass, safety glasses, and it has a googly eye on one of the lenses. It's fucking,

and the other one is a hand drawn one. Yeah. The hand drawn eye patch. The hand drawn eye. And then the hand drawn eye patch below it. That's what I like. These are amazing. Got a message.

This is an image from Charles about last episode. You can find it on this episode, show notes 442. So Tom, I wanted to, we're going to spend a few minutes here talking about Jordan Peterson because we got a bunch of Jordan Peterson email.

One person messaged us and said, hey, you should know that the Bible Reloaded guys, that's a show on YouTube. We were actually, a while back, we were actually in the same organization as them back a long time ago, I don't know if you remember, with the secular stuff. I do, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were on there. We never got a chance to do a crossover, so I always kind of wanted to. We never did, and I think I reached out to them once, and there was, we just lost contact, or we never talked or something like that, but I know that they run a show on YouTube, and I would be happy to do a crossover show. I just think we tried to do it once and just didn't work out, but I guess they're reading and reviewing Jordan Peterson's work.

I know call to dusty. He had done a long, like long, uh, video on Jordan Peterson as well. Um, but we got a bunch of messages from people, you know,

a couple that were like, yeah, man, Jordan Peterson's kind of like a nut. And then a bunch of other people that were like, hey, man, you're misunderstanding. Basically, that interview that he did with the New York Times was misquoted. So I want to read what it says in the interview real quick, just what he had to say in the actual quotes. And then I want to play a piece of it.

This is from his live show. It's recorded and it's on YouTube. And it's a response to that New York Times article. And it's when he's on stage with Jordan Peterson. So I want to play that. I want to, he's with Dave or yeah, Jordan Peterson and Dave Rubin are on stage and I don't want to play that, but I want to read this really quickly. So the article, it says recently a young man, and it talks about the person who drove through the, the Toronto with the van and he killed a bunch of people. And it says, he declared himself to be part of a misogynist group whose members call themselves insoles. The term is short for involuntary celibates, though the group has

evolved into a male supremacist movement made up of people, some celibate, some not, who believe that women should be treated as sexual objects with few rights. Some believe in forced sexual redistribution in which a governing body would intervene in women's lives to force them into sexual relationships. Violent attacks are what happens when men do not have partners, Mr. Peterson says, and society needs to work to make sure those men are married. Quote, he was angry at God because the women were rejecting him. Quote, end quote. Mr. Peterson says of the Toronto killer, another quote, the cure for that is enforced monogamy. That's actually why monogamy emerges. End quote. So that's our background. That was what was said in the article. That was said in the article. That's what we read.

That is an actual quote from him. But the idea, the emails we're getting is that that's out of context. It's inaccurate. Here's what he meant. And this is him explaining. So the question is, what do you mean by enforced monogamy? Well, we can start by what I don't mean. I don't mean taking innocent women at gunpoint

and handing them over to useless men, which is essentially the accusation. It was really interesting to watch that unfold. What I meant was that monogamy, as something that's socially valued, appears to be essentially a human universal. That doesn't mean that human beings are universally monogamous, because obviously we're not. We can be serially monogamous, and some people are players and have multiple partners and all of that. But there's a strong

proclivity across known societies to tilt towards monogamy. And the enforcement is social norms. It's like, think about it. I can't believe that I even have to say this. Your son just gets married and he comes home and he says, guess what, dad, I've been screwing around. And what do you do? You pat him on the head and you say, hey, good work, kid. That's that's my young man. Right. Well, no, you're not happy about that. And he doesn't tell you because he knows you're not going to be happy about it. And that's enforced monogamy. It's part of the social structure. It's like what and what else? How in the world would that address the issue of people not having partners or mates? It doesn't. It literally doesn't. Literally nothing.

That is like enforced monogamy. And the example. It literally doesn't. Literally nothing. That has, like, enforced monogamy in the example that he just gave is already in place. He's actually described the existing social structures that are already in place that reward monogamous behaviors. Is it a miss...

Right? Is it a misspeak of reinforced monogamy, though? Do you think maybe? Because that has reinforced monogamy,? Do you think maybe because that has reinforced monogamy, right? You know, like with the social actions and the social things we have in place that reinforces monogamy, but it doesn't enforce because I think enforce means to compel someone to do something by force and reinforce means to strengthen or support it. But even like granting him what he is saying, all he's saying, all he's saying

is that in an existing relationship that there are social forces which conspire to make monogamy preferential. Right? That is already the case.

And that says nothing. It has nothing to do with a man who can't find a woman becoming violent. Nothing whatsoever about that. Because there's no point of intersection. That person's not in a monogamous relationship unless you're talking about with his hand. Right. That's it. Yeah. It's exactly my confusion right now is that there's literally no point of intersection. Nothing whatsoever. Yeah.

So how is it a solution if that's what he really means? I'll tell you what he really means is. Because he doesn't mean it. Nothing. Nothing whatsoever. Yeah. So how is it a solution if that's what he really means? I'll tell you what he really means is. Because he doesn't mean it. What exactly? Right. Fucking exactly. Because he doesn't mean it. He's a fucking coward.

That's what it means. It means I said something and now I want to backpedal. And instead of fucking owning it or saying, you know what? I messed up. I didn't really mean that. He's like, oh, gosh, I can't believe you fucking idiots. How could you possibly misunderstand this super simple thing? When I was talking about a guy who can't get laid, I was going to say all I was saying was that guy should only lay one person.

Yeah. When I when I said I was angry, he was angry at God because women rejected him. What I really mean is he shouldn't have sex with other people than that one woman who wasn't having sex with. It literally makes no fucking sense. Enforced monogamy. It's like, like well most people want a monogamous relationship and if they enter into a relationship with someone they're not happy if that person goes and sleeps around right most of you this guy well this guy was not in a relationship he was an insult he's saying things that people want to not along with right because they seem they seem to be, yeah, these are generally accepted

as like obviously socially normal. But at the same time, it in no way addresses the question and is not in any way relevant to the solution that he provided to the problem. Right. This guy never answers

a straight question. He never answers a straight question. Super Weasley. He wouldn't be happy if that happened. It's like not being happy, that's part of

enforced monogamy. It's part of this and you might have noticed, you probably did, polygamy is actually illegal. You can't have multiple marital partners simultaneously. That's enforced monogamy. And it's an anthropological term and it's been known

for a hundred years by anthropologists most of whom are left leaning by the way because that's how it goes all he's doing is explaining what he didn't mean he's not explaining exactly let me start off by saying that yeah let me tell you what i didn't mean you think he's gonna get we got three minutes and eight seconds you think he's gonna get to what he did mean that monogamous social structures are one of the ways that you keep children raised properly so that they have a relatively stable environment and that you keep male aggression,

especially the aggression of young men, under some degree of social control. I don't understand how that, like, okay, so if that's what he's talking about, you're going to keep male aggression down. How do you keep male aggression down with monogamy if they can't get into a relationship? He said, he has said that the problem

is that these men can't find women. They are mad. What he identified the problem, I don't identify the problem the same way, but his identification of the problem is that these men are mad at God because they can't, because women keep rejecting them. So the problem is that these men are mad at God because they can't, because women keep rejecting them.

So the solution is men that don't sleep around so they can raise kids. Yeah. The solution is, yeah. They now will control their aggression. How in the world would it, like, again, like, if you look at what the incels are saying, they are looking at people who have

families, who have lovers, and they're insanely jealous. Insanely jealous. His solution is a solution that these people would be jealous because they don't have. His solution is- I don't understand this guy at all. His solution is also the status quo. It's what's going on right now.

It's not a mystery. The fact that I got in trouble for that, it's kind of a miracle. It's like, well, don't you notice that we enforce monogamy in like almost every way? And that the same thing happens all over the world in all sorts of diverse societies? And then when we deviate from that, that there's a price to be paid? So that's why like I'm a New York Times pariah is because I think that monogamy, all things considered, is a good idea. That's not at all. But that's the thing is like that.

But here's the thing, Tom. If he had said out loud, I think monogamy is cool. No one would care. And also it wouldn't be newsworthy. And also he wouldn't be newsworthy. And also, he wouldn't be in the New York Times because nobody fucking cares, man. Nobody's listening to that.

Nobody cares. You had to say something, you had to say something controversial like this and then walk it all the way back with your doublespeak to make it sound like you didn't mean it at all.

Yeah, again, like I'll grant him all two minutes and 55 seconds. I'll grant every point that he made. Everything. Every single thing. You can have them all. I agree with you.

You can have them all. Tell me one time how in the world that relates to an incel violent. Tell me how that is a solution-based answer to the problem he fucking identified. Right. This is the problem I have with Jordan Peterson. He is a rampant misogynist and a coward, and he refuses to answer questions. He refuses to give people straight answers. I've never heard anybody speak less clearly and more articulately than Jordan Peterson. You can't suss out. Did you

happen to see the thing you did with Dillahunty? I didn't. Oh my God, it's a fucking nightmare of just gibberish and jargon, and none of it means anything. And Dillahunty, who's a pretty fucking smart guy, several times is like kind of looking around like. Is anyone else hearing this? Yes. There are several of those moments where it's like nothing, none of that word salad jargonistic bullshit. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything. And you know, the thing is, is like, look, you're right.

I'll agree with you, man. Like all that stuff is absolutely how our society works. Right. Right. You know, I know very few people in poly relationships and I actually, you know, I should probably know more because based on the community, based on the atheist community and other communities I belong to, I should probably know more poly people. And I don't, I know a lot of monogamous people.

Right. I know a lot of people that that works for them and that's fine. But first off, I don't give a fuck. Right. I don't care whether you're poly or you're monogamous or you know, you're what this week, you're this, this week, you're that. I don't care what your relationship's like. It doesn't matter to me. So that's number one. We shouldn't be fucking caring about that. You, maybe you care about your loved ones. Like you said about his son or whatever comes home. Sure. Maybe you care then, but other than that, why the fuck would you care? To me, it feels like saying enforced monogamy, even if it is a technical term or whatever,

if I were to believe mine, I didn't bother to look it up, right? I didn't bother to dig in to my anthropological study guide to find out whether that's an actual anthropology term that he's tossing around. I didn't bother to look it up. anthropology term that he's tossing around. I didn't bother to look it up. But even if it is, the lay person, when I hear that, just say, monogamy's cool, or

we should reinforce monogamy. Because I don't think either of those statements has the same weight than enforcing monogamy does. No, they don't, and they intentionally don't. And the reason that they intentionally don't and the reason he uses the words that he uses is because he's answering a question. He's answering a question with, you know, like, hey, we've got this problem of violent men killing other people.

What is the solution? What is the solution in forced monogamy? How is if this is what he means by enforced monogamy? How does that even relate to the question? It doesn't even relate. But it only relates to the question if it means the colloquial definition, not this fucking bullshit wind around nonsense.

Yep, yep, yep. So that's what we, I played this in fairness to Jordan Peterson to hear exactly what he had to say. I listened to it. I went out and found it when people were sending us messages.

This is the more concise version. I am not going to listen to his entire canon. I'm not trying to pick apart when people were sending us messages. This is the more concise version. I am not going to listen to his entire canon. I'm not trying to pick apart his entire canon. All we were talking about was what was contained in that article. So if you have other things that aren't contained in that article, that's fine. You know, you could send them to us or whatever, but I'm not going to watch a 40 or 50 minute video of him talking.

That's not something I'm going to do. I think this was a very concise way for him to answer it. And if he couldn't answer that question in three minutes and he could only spend time on what it didn't mean, then I don't need to listen to what he has to say. Cause there's no, there's no attempt to be honest. Exactly. There's no desire to be honest.

You still have time to donate money and vulgarity for charity. All I have to do is go. All you have to do is go to modest needs.org. You can donate any amount of money, but if you donate $50 or more, you can send proof of that donation to vulgarityforcharity at gmail.com with a person who you'd like to roast.

And it can be anybody. And if you include a picture, that's even better or a description, that's even better. And we can roast those people. Those roasts will be going on until Thanksgiving. You have until then to donate. And please don't just say, please look this person up on Facebook.

Like send us some details about the person you want us to roast. I'm not trolling Facebook to find your buddy, Joe. Yeah. Like I'm not doing it. Send us a, send us a picture, send us a short description that always helps in the roast.

Um, these are a lot of fun. We, we had a chance to hang out with, uh, with Noah, Heath, and Eli, even more so this week because we had an opportunity to record Vulgarity for Charity with them.

We'll be doing another one next week. So get your donations in, and you can get your roasts in. That's going to wrap it up for this week, but we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating

pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards vaccine nuts shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local Dairy Council and viewers like you.