Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 449: Butterballs

Episode Date: December 31, 2018

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by adamandeve.com. Just go to adamandeve.com and type in glory. That's G-L-O-R-Y at checkout, and you'll get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing and free shipping. Oh, come on the faithful, racist and religious. Oh, come ye, oh, come ye to the glory hole. Happy holidays, Tom and Cecil. Hey, Cecil, Tom. I just wanted to add to what Tom was saying about that funky gold medina song.

When I look back on most lyrics that were written in the 80s, they seemed like they were written by cavemen. But you can take that back even further to the 70s and 60s. Back to the Beatles, you know. Even before then, but definitely back to the Beatles. She was just 17, if you know what I mean. But you know what?

The fact that this pricks our conscience in this day and age, I think it's a testament to the fact that things are changing and they're changing for the better. Lori Holt. What's up, Thomas Cecil? This is Hunter from Oklahoma.

Since I'm caught up on all my podcasts, I'm kind of spoiled and just stick to you guys, the scathing boys. I'm unfortunately forced to listen to the radio periodically in my car. I had a depressing story on NPR, so I switched over to the local periodically in my car. I mean, I had a depressing story on NPR, so I switched over to the local morning show. And they're talking about if ghosts can get struck by lightning and have a 10-minute conversation about this. This is the kind of fucking shit I have to deal with in Oklahoma, even in my vehicle by myself.

And yeah, I just thought that was fucking insane. So yeah, be lucky you're not in Oklahoma. Glory hole, motherfuckers. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way, we bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at. This is episode 449. This is uh post-coital christmas bliss episode happy new

year episode this is the happy new year i forgot this is coming out this is the day before new year's new year's eve you can get your fucking little paper hat and your noisemakers out whistler get out there yeah watch the fucking star drop or the balls fall or i don't know how that watch the balls fall i could do that any night for 40 years and if you want to watch balls turn up the heat in the name of jesus we speak that Oh, yeah. Cecil, you found this story, so thanks. This is fucking depressing. It's from the Washington Post.

Father, please stop. Parents horrified after priest used teen's funeral to condemn suicide. So this is a heartwarming tale. Oh, yeah. Of a Catholic priest who decided during the homily for a deceased teenager who committed suicide that he would mention the word suicide like six times. Only six times though. And then he would say that

this kid's probably not going to get into heaven because he killed himself and then go on this rant about suicide. So egregious that the dad, the bereaved fucking father and genuinely credit where it's due for not swinging at this priest.

It's hard to think that because if I lost somebody I love. Yeah. It's hard to think that there wouldn't be some sort of violence involved, but he gets up. He gets up and he has to go up to him in the middle of his fucking homily and say, father, please stop. And the guy does not stop. He doesn't stop. He continues to berate this dead child

for his fucking anguish and mental illness that led him to his suicide in front of the grieving fucking family. So much that then after the service, the family had to tell this guy,

like, you're not welcome near the casket. You're not welcome at the funeral. At the actual burial. Like, you did the thing here at this. You waved your incense. You said your words.

But we're leaving and you're not coming with us. There's going to be someone else who does that work there. And so he did not travel with them, I guess. And although I don't know that that's always true. That's not always true. We just attended a funeral recently. That didn't happen. The priest did not.

The priest did not attend the burial. But he was not welcome there. And they did at the burial, they tried to talk about how he lived, which is what they really wanted with this priest. The priest didn't know him. And this happens very often in the Catholic church. The priest doesn't know who they're marrying.

The priest doesn't know who they're burying. They don't know who they're performing these rites on because there's so many people maybe in their parish, they don't know them, or maybe these are keisters, they don't ever really show up. There's a possibility, there's a lot of reasons why I wouldn't know. So what they do is they set up these appointments ahead of time so that they can get a chance to meet these people and talk to these people, right? Talk to the people. Get a sense of who the person was. Exactly. You know, it's funny because when you hear the homilies that they write

and the things that they talk about, they constantly refer to their notes about what they talk to the people about. And it's blatantly obvious if you've been to any of these services, it's blatantly obvious that they're not talking about from memory these people doing this stuff. They're talking aboutantly obvious that they're not talking about from memory, these people

doing this stuff. They're talking about the conversation that they had with the family 12 hours ago. And it's generic, like, oh, he was a family man, and he always worked hard to make sure that the blah, blah, blah. Yeah, exactly. But even so,

people still get buried in churches. People still get buried in graveyards that are run by the church or have services that are set up by the church. So they still do this sort of thing. But my gosh, to have a priest, after you are clear, like the family is clearly uncomfortable and doesn't want you to continue. are clear, like the family is clearly uncomfortable and doesn't want you to continue. Can you imagine the balls it takes to stand up in the middle of a service and walk up and tell the guy giving the service to stop? You got to cut that out. Please stop. In that moment where your job should just be to grieve. Yeah. Your job should just be to cry. Your job should be to be there with your family and to have this person. And correct me if I'm

wrong, you pay the priest for that privilege, right? There is a payment. So I've never buried Your job should be to be there with your family. You're saying goodbye. And to have this person. And correct me if I'm wrong. You pay the priest for that privilege, right? There is a payment. I know. So I've never buried anybody in a church. So I don't know. But I paid to get married in one. I assume they don't do it for free.

Yeah. I paid to get married in one. Right. There was, I think it was a, it's like the, it's like the art institute. There's a requested donation or whatever, you know, suggested donation, but it's, you know, it's, it's a, it's a mandatory donation. That's what it was to get married. Now, i don't know what it is to bury somebody and those guys aren't coming to work on a saturday to do or you know a wednesday morning you know like for nothing yeah i there's there's fees related to it um and so and there's a possibility too and i don't know how true this is because i like i said i haven't buried anybody in a church or in the through the

church i keep saying in the church you don't bury people in the is because like I said, I haven't buried anybody in a church or through the church. I keep saying in the church. You don't bury people in the church, but you know what I mean? You do it at Westminster Abbey if you're famous. If you're really famous. But there's a possibility too that the funeral home may cover those expenses too, right? Because it may be in the package.

Part of the deal. It's part of the deal. Either way, you're paying for it. You're paying for it. It's still coming out of your mind. Left pocket or right pocket. It doesn't matter. But it's interesting cause I did

not know this until I read this article that the Catholic church sort of has done a little bit of an about face on suicide. Um, in the article, they talk about how in the sixties, they've sort of changed their viewpoints on what, what would be, you know, how that, cause the church back then said it was a cardinal sin and you would go to hell automatically. But I think they've sort of changed their viewpoints on it so that they do give services to people that have been, that have committed suicide.

And they wouldn't give the services before, huh? I think so. Because it was a sacrament? Yeah, it's one of those, it's one of those really bad sins that you, you can't, it doesn't matter. Like raping a child? Is it like raping a child?

Or is it like one they care about? No, it's unforgivable. So they don't cover up 500 different priests in Illinois alone? They don't pay exorbitant amounts of money out of those funds. It's funny, I was talking to a Catholic today about

pre-sexual abuse, and the Catholic, I posed your question, your question, which is, how do you give money to an organization like that? And her response was, I don't.

I don't anymore. I stopped giving money once I found out about this stuff. And I said, why do you still go? And they're like, well, you know,

it's part of my ritual. It's part of, you know, it's part of my family. It's part of all these stuff, you know, like it's part of my life, but I will of my family. It's part of all these stuff. It's part of my life, but I will not give them any money.

And one of the reasons why they said they were still sticking around in the church and not just sort of finding spirituality on their own was because they wanted to see the church in its current state fall. They thought, I want to be around for that. I want to be around for that change because they feel like it's coming,

that there is sort of a push to change the church in a big, radical way. Here we go. AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, except no substitutes. I love this. This is from The Hill. Substitutes. I love this.

This is from the Hill. Parkland's David Hogg sends thoughts and prayers to the NRA's PR team after accused Russian agent pleads guilty. So this is fucking terrific. Just because the sheer genius of using their own wording against. Oh, it's amazing. David Hogg's a guy, one of the outspoken gun control advocates that came out of the horrible incident in Parkland. He's one of the student survivors from that. You know, and obviously, you know, for a long time right after that, they were saying, like, we don't want your fucking thoughts and prayers. We want some action.

Yeah. We need you to do something. Yeah. Now, the NRA is under fire for acting as a conduit for money and information between Russian operatives and Republicans that were seeking to... We still don't know how much that money that was. Yeah, there's a lot that I don't know about this story. What's interesting, because we don't know how much money that is, because they won't release that data.

The NRA won't release the data? Yeah, it'll come out at some point. Eventually. I'm sure. But the woman who was arrested, I think her name is like Marina, starts with a B. Thank you.

Maria Butina. She's arrested and is acting as a government agent, a foreign agent for the Russian government. And she's the one who said like, yeah, I used the NRA to funnel this money and information. That's going to be the death knell of the NRA. The NRA is already in a hell of a lot of financial trouble and it has been for the last couple of years.

So David Hogg tweets out thoughts and prayers to the NRA's PR team. That's all you need. You don't even need 140 characters. What do you think about this? What do you think of this, Maria Butina? And one of the things that strikes me is weird. It almost feels like, and maybe this sounds conspiracy theorist,

and it's okay if people call me that because of this. And it might be, I don't know, because there's so much shit that's happened recently that it's just, it's hard not to think like this, especially when people are using disinformation campaigns against you. It's hard not to get into this mode of, is everybody trying to trick me?

It's hard. So you fall into these, these sort of very cynical portions of your life where you're just like, you don't know what's true anymore. That's part of why these campaigns are so effective, right? They make a second guess. Yeah. And so one of the things that I, that I was wondering is, did she want to get caught? Yeah. I felt the same way. Because she's taken photos with all of these people and those photos are starting to surface like Rick Santorum and a bunch of other people. Did she want to get caught? Was it always their plan that all this stuff was going to come to light

because they wanted to try to weaken... Is she a Russian sacrificial lamb? Yeah, absolutely. I thought similarly. um you know is she is she a russian sacrificial lamb in order to you know yeah absolutely you know like i thought similarly like is she is she going out to try to you know was it always their plan to to make sure that all of these photos that she took with all these people got published in the papers yeah you know was it always there because who kept the photo it was on her stuff like it was on her, her, you know,

her phone or whatever. She might've posted it to Twitter or something like that. And then the, where did we get the, where did we get the photo? We got the photo from her. We didn't get it from Rick Santorum. You know,

he didn't save a photo of a picture of him with Maria Butina. Right. It was her saving the photo. So how did we get it? Did we get it from her phone after she was arrested? No. Chances are she probably tweeted that photo out. So she was willing saving the photo. So how did we get it? Did we get it from her phone after she was arrested? No. Chances are she probably tweeted that photo out. So she was willing to show people ahead of time that she was doing this stuff.

And she was an operative? Yeah. A lot about her story doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Like, I really don't understand. I'll be perfectly blunt. I've read a number of articles and I can't really make heads or tails over exactly what it is her job was as a Russian

operative. What was that mission? I'm very curious to see how all of this plays out. I'm not even sure 100% how the NRA was used in terms of that money funnel that's been described. What I know is I hate the nra yeah

it's an awful toxic evil organization it just it just is and anything that causes them to spend any huge amounts of money in a legal defense sure is just like i just i'm not it's just joy oh it's so good it's just joy it's so good yeah you want to see them crumble because of the the the horrible policies that they put forth the things that they fight for yeah you know just it's just joy. It's so good. Yeah. You want to see them crumble because of the horrible policies that they put forth, the things that they fight for. Yeah. You know, it's just, I just want to see them go away. Yeah.

And it's not that I'm, you know, 100% anti-gun. I'm not. Yeah. You and I, we all own guns. So I'm not 100% anti-gun, but I will say, you know, like that organization, the stuff that they fight for, where they plant their flag, you can't get me to. Well, you and I wanted to join a couple of gun clubs years back because we wanted to

do some competitive shooting, some trap and skeet shooting we thought would be fun to try. And, like, you can't join them if you don't join the NRA. Most of them wouldn't allow us to join. They require an NRA subscription. I'm not going to give you a question. You are fake news. Sir, can you state categorically that nobody...

No, Mr. President-elect, that's not appropriate. This story is fucking unsettling. It's from the New York Times. Secret experiment in Alabama Senate race imitated Russian tactics. So this is specifically in reference to the Doug Jones-Roy Moore race down in Alabama. down in Alabama. And what it alleges is that the Democratic side used the same tactics of manipulating social media and creating divisiveness to drive people away from the polls that were demonstrated by the Russians. And they gave it a whirl. According to this, they gave it a whirl to see how effective it would be. They said it wasn't very effective, but they tried it. And what occurs to me is like, one of the things that's so

insidious about what's happening to our election cycle and how social media is being used to manipulate people's attitudes is that if you look at it and you know that it works, people's attitudes is that if you look at it and you know that it works, it's not like only the Russians are going to do it, right? And if we have a desire to have autonomy, personal autonomy, and feel like we are making our own decisions, anything that attempts to manipulate that without your consent, without your knowledge, is problematic. And these groups that are going to say, oh, you know, it's an effective way to modify the behaviors of groups of people and change the thought processes of people and create divisiveness, it's not going to be relied upon only by Russians. Anybody who wants to change the behaviors of large groups of people will employ

these same tactics if they're effective. So weaponizing divisiveness, weaponizing social media, and using that in order to manipulate how you think and how you behave, that's the world we are currently in right now. We know that that is not happened past tense, but happening actively. That's unsettling to me. It is and it isn't for me. And I think the reason why it isn't is I definitely feel violated when it's a foreign group doing it. But when it's a group that's inside the country, my thought is they're going to try to manipulate me anyway. I don't know that there's any difference in what they're trying to do through this or through an ad or through a stump speech or through any other way in which they were trying to get me to vote for them anyway. If something comes on my screen, something pops up on my screen and it says, you know, it's, it's a hot button issue, right?

And I fall on one way or the other on that issue. Pick any issue. I don't care. Gun control, right? Let's say gun control. And I fall on the, I think we should control guns more side. on the, I think we should control guns more side. I already know I fall on that side anyway. What is seeing that thing, how does that demonstrably change? It doesn't change my view on it

because what they're trying to do, how they're trying to manipulate them is by trying to reinforce these things that they already believed. They're not trying to change anybody's mind. They're not trying to say, like, suddenly there was a good old boy, now he's a Black Lives Matter guy, believed. They're not trying to change anybody's mind. They're not trying to say, like, suddenly there was a good old boy, now he's a Black Lives Matter guy. Right? They're just, they're

trying to, they're not trying to change your mind. They're just trying to amplify what you already feel. So, how bad is that in comparison to what we always kind of do anyway with these campaigns? Well, I guess, like, my thought is from this article

and from other things I've read is, you know, like for example here, they said that they, Protest operators created a Facebook page on which they posed as conservative Alabamians. So they're posing as a group

that they are not. Posing as the other side. Posing as the other side. Using it to try to divide Republicans and to endorse a right-wing candidate to draw votes away from Mr. Moore. So they're trying to push votes to an inoperable third party.

Sure. Right? To weaken their opponent's side. So not trying to change your mind to get your vote. Yeah. You know what I mean? They're trying to change your mind.

It's actively deceptive. They're trying to change your mind to split your vote. Right. So that you'll vote for Jill Stein instead of Hillary Clinton. Or to be like, you know what, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, I'm going to give you all these,

I'm going to push all these issues to your attention that are Bernie issues, right? And I'm going to get you to be hot on these Bernie issues. And I'm going to do that because I know that a certain percentage of you, if Bernie doesn't win the primary, are just going to

stay home. Yeah. You're going to stop. You're not going to do anything. So I didn't change your mind. Yeah. What I did is I just influenced your behavior. You amplified my behavior. Right. Yeah. You amplified my apathy in that case. And I think that the deceptiveness of that is different than a stump speech.

A stump speech is, I am a candidate. Here's why you should vote for me. Here's why my candidate, my opponent is a piece of shit. I think this, I'm going to talk to you about other things. I'm not talking to you necessarily about the election or the candidates.

I'm talking to you about other issues that I know will just cause these reactions. And then I'm going to manipulate the way those reactions make certain percentages of the population behave. Like there is a level of dishonesty and deception to that, that, you know,

while I think it's clumsy today, I worry that it will become sophisticated. Sure. And as it becomes more sophisticated, we will be more prone to it and we will see it less openly. Well, I don't know what you do, though. I don't know how you stop it. Yeah, I don't know either. I don't know how you stop it. I don't know how you stop people from pretending they're on the other side. Right. I don't know how you stop that. That's not a thing I can I can even fathom.

Right. Stopping people from, you know, be pretending to be Republicans. You know, I don't know how you do that. I don't know what you do to stop people from creating a Facebook page that that says that they're Republicans and they're not actually Republicans. Yeah, I don't have an answer for how to stop it. I just yeah, but that doesn't change that I'm worried about. And they're like, it makes me fearful about what that means for our democracy. And I think I whether democracy is even a viable. Well, I think that the solution is to not pay attention to that, right? That's the solution, is that we need to get to a place where we say that's not, like we need to get to the place where I think we were initially, which is online isn't real, right? Online isn't useful.

Online isn't good information unless you're getting it from a certain source. And so you just don't pay attention to it. I think that's how you get past it. Is that you need to convince people that being in a message group doesn't help you. Yeah, I do agree with that. Right. Like I think I think that I think that the only way to do that is to recognize the why. And this is part of why. Because it's dangerous and it subverts our democracy and it changes the way you think and behave without your knowledge, without your consent that you even wanted to think about these issues.

It does it in sneaky, deceptive, shitty ways that are insidious. And then like if you then go through and you say like, okay, well, I'm only going to look at baby pictures and family photos and, you know, vacation pics. And you change the way you behave so that you're less exposed to that. I think that's a net plus. I think that is part of the solution. Yeah. But you only get to that solution when you convince people there's a problem. Sure.

Sure. You know? Yeah. And like, if we don't do that. Yeah. I think we're in a lot of, I genuinely think that we're in a lot of trouble. Yeah. I don't think you need a lot of high technology or, you know, like.

No, you got to be. I just think they're doing it to themselves. But these social media companies have eroded the trust that people have put in them over the course of the last 18 months

to such a high degree look at Facebook's coming out with all these other things that are coming out about Facebook that they lied about scandal after scandal they lied about

and then you know you see Mark Zuckerberg's initial do you see him saying he's gonna fuck everybody who he gave him his gave information to him no what hold on a second let me pull it up what Zuckerberg's initial, did you see him saying he's going to fuck everybody who he gave information to him? No, what?

Hold on a second, let me pull it up. What? Zuckerberg said, so yeah, if you ever need any info about anyone at Harvard, just ask.

I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses. He says, what? How'd you manage that one? People just submitted it. I don't know why. They quote, quote, trust me, dumb fucks.

Yeah, it's great. It's from his IMs. ims now he's saying you know he was in college at the time you know he's a kid whatever right you know it's a long time ago but like do am i supposed to believe that that guy changed his mind after so long am i supposed to believe that that guy had such a change of heart that he's now super conscious of all these people's privacy no because none of his actions fucking show that. I was going to say, like, yeah, we I think I think it'd be a little crazy to think that he's behaved because behavior now is not good. But I think ultimately, to be perfectly honest, think ultimately all of this is a good thing. Yeah, no, it's great. Because it's eroded trust in that in that medium.

And I think people will start to say, oh, it's a good place for me to put pictures of my vacation. But not a good place for discourse, right? This is a toxic, insecure place. And so if I come here and I attempt to use this the way that I think we sort of thought we could use it before 2016, 17. Sure. use it before 2016, 17. Sure. You know, I think like now that's, that's a very fairy tale, purposely head in the sand, pretend this isn't happening kind of worldview. Like, yeah, if you take that view now, like you're just not paying attention, you know,

it's true in some cases, but they aren't all valedictorians. They weren't all brought in by their parents. Uh, for everyone who's a valedictorian, there's another a hundred out there that, um, they weigh 130 pounds and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert. This story is from Right Wing Watch. Josh Bernstein of the Bernstein Bears, Obama and Clinton should be arrested and forced to build Trump's border wall. That doesn't sound crazy at all. He probably meant something a little more subtle and more nuanced. Let's listen to it clearly.

And you know what we should do when President Trump builds the wall? Here's what he should do. Number one, we should have the new Senate Judiciary Committee chairman, Lindsey Graham. Hopefully he's he's grown some balls here. What would how would having bigger balls help you find a judge easier? How would that, would that, would that aid in the process, Tom? I'm not sure that the size of the testicles actually makes any difference in

the judiciary. What if, what if he actually grew butter balls? He's got giant, giant turkey skinned butter balls down there. I think at his age, he does have turkey skin balls. Here's the thing. I think a lot of us have turkey skin balls, Tom, and I'd be, it'd his age, he does have turkey skin balls. Here's the thing.

I think a lot of us have turkey skin balls, Tom. And I'd be nice to you not to judge. Yeah. Here's the other thing, man. Like, I don't care what your balls look like. They're ugly. Yeah. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Yeah. Your balls are... You look down, you're like... They're a sack of... Do we have to have these? They're a sack of reproduction. That's what they are.

Yeah. They're a sack of half a reproduction. Nobody's ever been like, God, what great balls he has. Man, look at the nuts on this guy. Jesus. And they're just sagging. Like, you know, like nuts do. There's like leg men and ass men.

Yeah, are there ball girls? I know there's ball gags. And if you'd like a ball gag, you can go to adamandeve.com. You can type in Gloria Checkout, get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing and free shipping. I wonder, are there ball women?

Are there women out there who are just like, God, I love a good set of nuts. I can't get enough of gently touching those balls. Gently, ladies, gently. Roll them around like those Chinese relaxation balls. Gently, ladies. Gently. Roll them around like those Chinese relaxation balls. Yeah, when you

spin them the right way, they sing. They make the sound. And he's actually going to be a good Senate Judiciary Chairman. He needs to subpoena all the players in the deep state, all of them.

Comey, Mueller, McCabe, Stroke. The guy who gave me a wedgie in fourth grade. That girl has said she'd go on me, but she gave me a bad number at that bar that one time. You know who you are, you bitch. The guy who gave me a bad Yelp review.

I don't even have an establishment and you gave me a bad yelp review page nelly or bruce or weissman rosenstein loretta lynn marcia marcia marcia and a partridge in a pear tree christmas you know how you you know how you actually arrest all those people? If they do crimes? With five golden stings. Real quick, like, the deep state is pretty fucking surface people.

It really is. It's all the people. It's the deepest of the states. Right. The deep state is supposed to be like these secret operatives who power from like behind the curtains, right? It's like super public figures. Oh, yeah. These are deep state operatives. I think Obama's in a deep state operative. The president.

The ex-president. What? Who went this week to hand out presents at a children's war. Seriously, I saw that. I saw that story. Yeah. And I was like, I miss the old world we lived in. You know? I had a sploosh moment.

I was sad. I was like, I was like, I miss you so much. I was like, President Obama impregnate me right now. I want to have your baby. Just be gentle with my balls.

He's like got a Santa hat on. He's got a thing. He's not even photo-opping. He's just there. He's just hanging out. I'm just like, remember when the president was a good person? Our president would go to a

children's hospital and throw paper rolls of bounty at kids like he did with the guys down in puerto rico remember when he was throwing the bounty to the crowd that's what he would do it's a fucking mess down here it's hillary clinton barack obama i'm sure i'm forgetting a few get them down there and when they come down all at once padlock the door door. And then, just like at the beginning of Braveheart, stab them and then light the building on fire.

That's what you need to do. The guard's just like, the padlocks are really inefficient locks. Every time, can't we just use regular jail locks? There's just one padlock on there. And it's like a padlock you put on the bridge in Paris to show.

It's like, you didn't sew it so. Hillary and Obama forever. The combination's our anniversary. It's a heart. It's a heart. It's actually like a little. Padlock the door and instruct the Sergeant

of Arms of the Senate and the Capitol Police to zip tie these scumbags and put handcuffs on them the senate and the capitol police to zip tie these scumbags and put handcuffs on them why do we need the zip ties are they on his balls right just did you zip tie his turkey gobblers zip tie where you know where oh he's got his giant butter ball like sized balls and they just got a zip tie on them and he's begging for Mistress Hillary to not hit him in the ball sack anymore. Can't I just get regular arrested? This is terrible.

And yes, I am keistering something. And drag them into a tribunal. And you can set up the tribunal. Here, down here at the Chicago Tribune. This is my favorite tribunal. And you can set up the tribunal. Here, down here at the Chicago Tribune. This is like, this is my favorite tribune. It's my favorite part because like, he suggests a total perversion of justice.

His suggestion is a bullshit kangaroo court. Like a Mugabe-style kangaroo court. Through executive action. That is something the president can do. So therefore, you could have a trial on the same day that you arrest these creeps and put them in Guantanamo Bay. Or better yet, when you build the wall, force them like in North Korea to have to build it.

And why is North Korea a good thing? That's the part of the story that I thought was like, we are at a place where there are certain pundits who are like, you know, we should look to for moral guidance. Absolutely. North Korea. North Korea, we're just like... It was a bastion of liberty. Let them wear their three and four and five thousand dollar suits. Wouldn't you love to see

Hillary Clinton in an orange pantsuit? Wouldn't that be... Oh, God. Could you imagine Hillary Clinton? She's got her orange jumpsuit on and she's walking to the prison yard and she shoulders Liz Warren and then they start wrestling on the ground and maybe one of their tops

comes off. What do you mean, maybe? And then they're sort of like pulling each other's hair and like weakly, barely able to tear a little bit. So you see a little more cleave on Elizabeth Warren. Come on, guys. You know that's hot. That's super hot. So you see a little more cleave on Elizabeth Warren. Come on, guys. You know that's hot. That's super hot. Do you need a minute, Cecil?

Do you want some time alone in the studio, buddy? I'll give you some time alone in the studio. We have that agreement. You can put the sock on the door. It's your time, big guy. I know I'm casting my ballot for her. I won't finish till my chat is hanging.

It's going to be hanging right next to my turkey gobblers. A shovel in her hand. I know I would. We ought to do that. These people need to go down for the. Hey, wait a minute. Go down. Yeah.

Hillary and an orange jumpsuit going down. You guys are so sick with your zip ties and handcuffs. Go down? Yeah. Yeah, Hillary in an orange jumpsuit. Going down? You guys are so sick with your minds. With your zip ties and handcuffs. Perverts! You're all perverts! We need to go down for the count. These people are seditious.

They are treasonous. And they need to be held accountable. And we will break our government in order to hold them accountable. And we need to not only punish them, we need to torture them. That's what we need to do. We need to send them to Guantanamo and torture them, waterboard them. And then when that doesn't work, we need to send them back here and have them do hard labor outside and build a wall. You know, again, you got to look to the moral states in this country, like North Korea, for our examples of how we should treat people. I also love the idea that somehow like unskilled labor is going to build that

wall, right? Like, like it's not going to be like labor was going to build a wall. The Mexicans would have built it for us. I love the idea. I love the idea that there's going to be like, they're not going to have like a fucking giant concrete truck.

That's going to have to pour that wall out and you're going to have to build forms and build it just like you would build any other major building. Instead. They're just like brick by brick building the wall. Here's a shovel, build a wall. That's not how building walls works, sir.

Yo science. What is it all about? Technology. What is that all about? Is it good? Or is it all about technology what is that all about is it good or is it whack all right this story is also from right wing watch and how's hearing google ceo wrestles with right wing conspiracy theory and questions about why my phone does that thing this is seriously fucking amazing so the google ce CEO is in front of Congress and they are asking him questions revolving around

why the perception is that there's a... Truth has a left-wing bias, I guess, but the perception that the right is unfairly shadow-banned or shadow-censored by Google. And they're saying, that the right is unfairly sort of shadow banned or shadow censored by,

by Google. Right. And they're saying, you know, we're real, real fucking mad about this, but some of the best parts of this whole thing are the fucking ancient fucking garbage.

Grandpa dinosaur people that can't understand at all how their world works. And they've got the CEO, the Google CEO. And they're just like, anyway, at one point, one of the guys like, why is it one point, one of the guys is like, why is it that when I do this thing

on my iPhone? It was Steve King. So Representative Steve King demanded from Pichet the names of Google employees who write the algorithms that King contends demonstrate a bias against conservatives

in internet searches so that Congress could inspect the coders' own social media accounts presumably to determine whether or not the coders themselves are liberals. Then he goes on this rant about how California is full of liberals and the coders are probably from California. And so they're probably coding this thing so that it's totally liberal. It has its bias, yeah. And then he says, he also demanded that Pichet tell him how King's seven-year-old granddaughter wound up

seeing a photograph of her grandfather accompanied by inappropriate language pop up on her iPhone during the midterm campaign. And he replies by saying, Congressman, the iPhone is made by a different company. These guys don't know how

any of this shit works. And the grilling, the hard-hitting questions that they were coming at this guy with were just evidence of exactly what you and I talked about before, which is why is it a problem that there are no standards for this job? That you can have congresspeople asking somebody questions related to technology that do not understand how technology works

and who will later go on to make decisions about how our laws interface with technology they don't know how it works we need standards we need people in charge who know how this i shouldn't i shouldn't be on this board either i should not be on this i don't know how this works i have no idea how this works experts to experts right experts to experts these fucking? Experts to experts. These fucking ridiculous dinosaur people with their absurdest questions. It's grandstanding in theater. It means nothing.

Yeah, I had the exact same thought, which was, you know, when we had this conversation about people being qualified to ask these questions. These aren't the smartest people in the room. These are dumb fucks. These are dumb fucks

who don't know how this technology works. They, this guy is holding up an iPhone and asking the Google guy about it. Right. He doesn't know that it's a different company. He doesn't, and he's, and he's furious. He's like, well, clearly it's something you did. Right. Well, he didn't do anything. You know, he just thinks he controls the internet. That's, that's, and he really doesn't know how anything works. He doesn't know how anything works he doesn't know how anything works and i think the problem is it's like that dunning-kerger effect right where it's like yeah they think they're the smartest person in the room and they're the dumbest person in the room and they're so limited that they think they're the smartest person in the room even when they are clearly not and that's a fucking perfect example of our president right

that's an absolutely perfect example of you president, right? That's an absolutely perfect example of, you know, Trump, because he has proven many, many times that he thinks he's the smartest guy ever. And he does the dumbest shit you could possibly imagine. You know, people that recognize their own limitations are only smarter than people who don't recognize their own limitations. And this guy, this guy, he, he has no idea he and you know like that's the argument that we got from people that pushed back was like well you know maybe they'll have experts to help him well where's this guy's expert where's the you know this guy isn't listening to anybody this guy's basically saying the internet's not a big truck it's a series of tubes yeah this is a guy

like should be like what they should do is be like i cede my time to ian yeah i need my ian here sure i don't know how this works i hired a guy to know how this works can you just fucking write up a report explain like i'm five what i should do next and i'll try to give it the problem too is that like even if they had that guy back there let's say they got a guy to ask all the right questions that guy's not out here to ask the follow-up question. Right? So, like, I ask a question, maybe he could ask a fucking killer question. A question that's absolutely amazing.

But once the game starts, you can only have so many plays scripted, right? I can't have every play scripted, and I need to be able to react to how you're acting. So if they ask her a question that I want to then fire back and be like, oh, well, what about this? Well, if I don't know what the fucking answer means, well then I'm just as fucking lost as the

guy before the guy even wrote the question for me. But like, it's even worse than that because like during the Kavanaugh hearings, we saw that the Republicans were more than willing to cede their time to an expert, that attorney, right? Yes. But this is like politics is such a cult of personality that rather than saying i cede my time to my ian who will ask all the questions start and follow yeah what they they need to be the one with the face on c-span they need to be the one with the soundbite and the gotchas and the whatever because if their face isn't attached to it they can't sell themselves as the product as the next as the next product, as having, I really held their feet to the fire for my constituents.

I literally don't know what he said or what any of it meant. Also, he pointed out he chose the wrong phone. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, one other thing I wanted to ask you about or talk to you about. Like, what if Google had said, yeah. Yeah, we filter results by our

we here at Google are, you know, by and large, we think that these, these, these issues have a left-wing bias for truth and we're, we're left-wingers over here. And so, yeah, your results are more left-wing. Okay. Well, because we haven't designated it a public service. That's exactly my point, right? Like they say it as if it as if there's some obligation toward objectivity that Google has. Let's pause and remember for just a second

that there is no obligation to you at all. Google has no obligation to return. They're an advertising company that has a great search engine. There's no obligation to return to you any result whatsoever that is objective or true or more true than another thing, etc., etc. None of that is their obligation at all.

They don't owe you shit. You're not a consumer. You don't pay for it. It's free. They don't have an obligation to you to do anything. So if they called you in front of Congress and said, well, you know, what's the deal, Google? You're not returning objective results. Even if the result was, even if Google came out and said, no, we're not. Yeah. Never thought. I don't know why. I literally don't know why you thought we

would. What we're doing is returning what people want to get them to return to Google to give me their data so I can sell their data. Well, and that's the thing is... What the fuck is wrong with you? That's the thing is that it's not objective. They're not objective results. No, no.

These are not... It's just this thing is an objective search engine. Yeah. I mean, you know, there might be if you could, you know, erase yourself from the equation,

right? Maybe DuckDuckGo is close, you know? I don't know. How would it be objective in terms of like, what does objective mean? More, most popular? Oh, no, that's true. I'm saying objective to like taking the human out of the, like me out of the equation, right? Not, not catering your results to me, which is what, which is what Google's doing. It's catering its results to me. Look, it thinks it knows what I

want. Right. Thinks it knows what my account wants. Right. And so, you know, that's not subject. That's not an objective point of view. That's a very subjective point of view. And so, you know, this idea that,

that, that they're catering right wings are left wing stuff. They're probably catering left wing stuff to me. You know what I mean? The thing is like, it's not even a matter either of returning what, what if, if I'm Google, I'm going to return results that I mean? The thing is like, it's not even a matter either of returning. What, what if, if I'm Google,

I'm going to return results that are going to make you happiest, that are going to be confirmation bias related because you're going to want to use my, me as a resource more often when you're most emotionally satisfied with the results that you get from your search. Right. Has nothing to do with anything else. And I do that because then you'll enter more data into my fucking

search bar and I can turn around and sell that shit when you fill out forms and I remember all your answers to it. And none of that is necessarily right or wrong. But this idea that we as the public should have some transparency or faith

in these organizations and that we can call them in front of Congress and demand that they behave a certain way. That's an absurdity. If you guys want a free market, the free market says, no, I just give you what I think you'll buy. If not,

then the government should just start its own search engine with hookers and cocaine and do it on its own. You know what I mean? You just do your own thing then. And that's the government one. You type in google.gov and you go to a government site that runs its own servers and gives you its own very unbiased return on every single thing that you post into it. And yeah, go ahead and do that. Do that work. Put all that work in. Hire all those people right do all that work but instead what you're doing is you're relying on a company to do all that work for you and now you're going to

dictate how they need to do it without making it a public right without making a public resource right yeah we we pretend that we all want to be jerked off by the fucking invisible hand right right that we pretend that that's the one we want wrapped around our fucking cock all the time and it's bullshit yeah it's bullshit because I do think that there's some, like what this belies is a certain amount of distrust. And I think that there's reasons to be distrustful. Absolutely. But like, you got to fix the underlying problem that like we've handed off trust and faith in corporations and free markets. And you can't have it both ways. Right. This is not a cake and eat it too moment. This is cake or.

Yeah, exactly. That's it. I want to read this tweet, this last tweet. This is from Luke Ball, who tweeted, he was tweeting throughout and Right Wing Watch quotes it here. Google hearing so far. Representative, does the Googles know

when I FaceTube my email messages? And then Pichai is, what is his name? Pichai, I don't know. Pichai, yeah. Pichai says, do you mean, and the representative goes, it's a yes or no question. Man, there's times that I say things that I know are true, and this is one of them.

This is amazing. It's a right-wing watch. David Seaman, praise God, will destroy Google with an earthquake. I had never heard of this guy before this david seaman is uh evidently a pizza gates conspiracy theorist so he was one of the people who talked about pizza gate um and he's uh he says seaman who we also last saw standing outside the white house screaming john podesta rapes children. Jesus Christ. He's currently suing Google and YouTube for supposedly censoring and defaming him.

So this is what this YouTube video is about. I like that he shot this video in a dark room. Oh, I know. He shot this video in a dark room with no lights. He's got a dark beard, so you only see like his mouth feels like it's floating. I've been driven down by legal expenses and the 10 months of not having a YouTube channel and therefore not having all the traffic that came from that YouTube channel.

It's been a death blow to our startup. We tried our best here in Washington, and I was hopeful that a lawsuit against Google would progress. Oh, he's hopeful for his lawsuit against Google. Yeah. Yeah, Google's only like a multi-billion dollar company and has in-house counsel that is so fucking high up there in the lawyer chain that all the other lawyers look at and be like,

I wish I could have that job. I don't care how much money you make. I know. Like outside of that, like that in-house counsel is probably a fucking rock star in-house counsel. Oh my God, Are you kidding me? It's Google.

It's Google. They can hire the best and all of them. And just have them forever. They just work here now. Yeah. What do you do? Well, I come to work for Google, and then little pissant motherfuckers sue me, and I laugh.

Ha-ha. Tra-la. And then I crush them. But first, I devastate them financially over the course of as much time as it takes me to jerk off over their corpses. Absolutely. That's exactly what it is. And they do it in between sessions of foosball in the Google room in their giant open workspace.

Look at me. I'm super progressive. I have like a movie theater or whatever the fuck. Do some work, Google. I'm playing ping pong while I fill out this deposition or whatever. I love to the, like, he's going to sue.

Like, how does that lawsuit go? Like, well, it's free and I want it. And you wouldn't give it to me. And I want it. And I want it.

It's free. And I didn't get what I wanted. And I didn't earn it or deserve it or pay for it, but I want it. That's exactly. I can't make any money. If you don't let me use your free it. That's exactly it. I can't make any money if you don't let me use your free service. That's it too, right?

Yeah, unless you let me amplify my voice on your free service, I can't. Can I borrow your bullhorn? No. I'll sue you! I was hopeful a lawsuit against Google would progress, but it did not. They've asked for a delay from the court

and the court has granted it. Which is so funny because they're not even bringing it to trial. they've asked for a delay from the court and the court has granted, which is, which is, which is so funny because they're not even, they're not even bringing it to trial. They're just going to let you exhaust your funds. That's all they're doing. They're that asshole. You're playing poker with.

He's like, check. Yeah. Just every time. Check. Just every time. Every time. No,

no, no. What I love too, is this guy doesn't have any, he doesn't have the money to withstand the storm. And they know it. So they're just like, yeah, we're just going to wait. We'll just wait it out.

Because we can wait it out and you can't. And it's not like a bunch of pro bono attorneys are like, oh, let me go ahead and I want to go ahead and have the Google over your fucking hate speech. Yeah. Right. Because there are certainly there are attorneys that are like, oh, a settlement with Google?

Deep pockets if I can win it. But they're not taking fucking Beardy McStupid faces fucking account here. Hell no. Because what's to win with the fucking Podesta emails? Well, like what are his damages going to be, right? Like the case, the settlement of the case. You're going to let me call somebody a child rapist? Yeah. Fuck you, Google.

Well, here's what I wanted to say. And the judge would be like, out loud? You wanted to say that out loud? Out loud. Google can I ask you a question? Why didn't you delay this until he was out of money? You know what I'm going to grant you a continuance. We didn't ask for one. I'm giving you one anyway. Crush him.

The delay. So the fight's not over but we're not going to hear an answer. It's over. No it's so over. It's over but we're not going to hear an answer over no it's it's so over it's over buddy it's over yeah yeah check your fucking couch cushions it's given up you should just give up like you did on your own face years ago on your own beard or until well into the new year well into 2019 amazing that even the court system cannot be our salvation. The courts aren't our salvation because nobody seems to care. Because you're wrong.

The courts are not your salvation, especially when you're wrong. Especially when you slander people. Right. Yeah. Especially when you slander people on a giant platform and that platform says, you couldn't, shouldn't slander people. What are you doing here? I wanted to come in your house and scream at your mother. I'd to ask you to leave you can't ask me to leave america not here

it's not buddy she raped people in that comment pizza gate i'm telling you that i've been censored that i've been censored and deplatformed and demonetized and i am out of money and i'm also out of steam why do this for people who are so... And I am actually coal-powered, so that's why I'm out of steam. I've been trying to run a creek. I'll just take the coal. Please, can I have

some coal? Anything. I like that he's making a video about how he's exhausted, like too exhausted to continue to make videos and we're watching it on YouTube I think he's too exhausted to he's too exhausted to continue on with his suit

yeah this is like one of those people that's like you know what I'm into I'm gonna write a Facebook post about how I'm leaving Facebook huh anyone that's true right there's so many people. And then the next week they're like, hashtag

a bad bitches who miss me. So ungrateful. We want that channel back. Without it, we're starving. We're reaching the same small audience, not the large audience from before. Well, maybe just everybody just got tired of your shit. I love that too. It's like,

my fucking fans who love me so much are unwilling to do the fucking three clicks it would take to get to me. Yeah, to figure out how to see this. Nobody cared about you. Nobody gave a shit. Nobody will ever care about you. Your fucking mom doesn't care about you. Not the large audience from

before. And now I'm a poor person. Right? I don't understand. And now I'm a poor person. I didn't do this to become a poor person. I love that he's fucking asking for sympathy. Yeah. Like these fucking hate-filled assholes. He slandered

someone. Right. And he's asking for sympathy. Don't you feel bad for me? Aren't I pathetic? Aren't I a victim? Yeah. A shitty, pathetic, shitty victim. I'm shitty. So shitty. I propagated a rumor that allowed a guy to walk into an establishment with a fucking semi-automatic rifle.

Feel sorry for me? You should feel sorry. Why doesn't everyone feel sorry? You should feel sorry. Why doesn't everyone feel sorry for me? Yeah. That's what I want. I want people to fucking look at me with pity. I understand why the public

would do that to me. Attack me constantly as a liar. No, Pizzagate's real. We didn't self-enrich off of it. I'm poor.

You're bitching because you can't continue to enrich off of it. Exactly, right. You would keep doing this if that was the case. Right. He's basically saying, I'm not making money

anymore. I can't keep exploiting this problem. People eventually get wise to it. I love that he said that out loud. Let's see a big earthquake in California. Big earthquake to wipe out

Google and YouTube. Wouldn't that be beautiful? Wouldn't that be... But then you couldn't get access to them, which is what you want. What would that do? That would just take their platform completely offline and you wouldn't be able to use it. Right. I want to get back onto YouTube, but if I can't get back on it,

nobody can. You're like a weird dude, like a weird possessive dude who's like, girl is dating a hotter guy. An affirmation that God is still out there somewhere. Obviously a pretty autistic God. Autistic? What did he just say? What did he just say?

An autistic God? Is he slamming autistic people? I guess out of nowhere. You know what else I don't like? The autistic people. Anyway, I can't figure out why America doesn't like me. People love me. All I do is hate on autistic people all day.

Hey, who else needs help that I can shit on? Hey, guys, how about these blacks? Anyone got a puppy with one leg? Jesus. How about an elephant with two? Jesus, man. We can get his attention for a few minutes. Wouldn't a massive earthquake in California

to wipe these pieces of shit out, wouldn't that be beautiful? Wouldn't it be great if there was an earthquake so massive that it devastated Google and therefore also devastated the lives of literally millions of other people? But that would make me feel good. Because I'm so selfish. That would make me feel good, though, guys.

Here's the thing. Your lives don't matter when it comes to my feelings. Why don't more people like me? Oh, wait. It's because I'm unlikable. As I say, horrible shit. Like, I hope the entirety of California falls into the ocean. And for the collateral damage, it's all of California.

And I destroyed three square acres that I actually wanted to destroy. That's that's the reason, dude. Absolutely beautiful because Because they don't fear the court system, right? Google doesn't fear the courts. For me, that was an enormous amount of money to put that up, to file that. For them, it was nothing. Just the course of business. Yeah, because they have in-house counsel and you don't.

Yeah, it was literally nothing. It was literally nothing. You're not even a line item on a budget that anyone even reads. Like, that's just true. It would be awesome, though, if they had his name on one line of the budget and it said zero. But for me, you know, being pushed off till next year, till, you know, January of 2019. That is next, technically next year.

It's technically next year, I guess. Before we even get an initial reply from Google. Every is next, technically next year. It's technically next year, I guess. Before we even get an initial reply from Google. Every day matters, right? To me, every day matters because I've been silenced from my own channel for now 10 months.

But hey, enjoy the quake. It's not yours. You don't own anything. And start it on fucking BitChute or whatever. Go to fucking Gab or whatever. Go to BitChute, man.

What's BitChute? Is that the racist one? That's the YouTube one that allows the fucking Stormer Stormtrooper or whatever. Racist, yeah. Racist YouTube. Bitchute. Okay. Remember where that one person was like, Bitchute's getting larger than YouTube. And then like,

you're just like, what is it? And I just had to remind you what it is just now. It's that one, Tom. Oh, yeah. It's that one. That I wouldn't go to no matter what. I accidentally went to it recently. Did you? Because somebody had linked to one of those hate speech guys. Like an actual, like, we went to it together.

You forgot. It was those people who did the racist robocalls. Yeah. Those people. Those people are on BitChute. That was BitChute? Yeah. And we started watching on that beginning portion where they're just like

shooting like Jews or whatever. We watched like, like five minutes of it. And their whole intro is them. Like, like it's like Holocaust violence towards people. And it's mostly Holocaust imagery. And we started listening to it and it was just a shitty show of some

shitty fucking troglodyte in his shitty place wherever he lives in Montana or whatever. Idaho or whatever. Do you think that these services like YouTube, like Google, like Twitter will become public resources? I don't know. If they do, this guy wouldn't. If they did, then this guy would have an argument. This guy has an argument. This guy has an argument if they become public resources.

Absolutely. If we look at them the same way we look at the national parks. Absolutely. You can't deny a racist a phone. Right. You know what I mean? Like a telephone, right? Like that's a public resource.

It's one of those things that like everybody should have a phone. You know, you should be able to get a phone. So I wonder if that's happening. I wonder if that will happen. Yeah. Unless until it happens, he's got, he's just, just he's just he's stomping in the in the sand he's pissed off right he's pissed off yeah but he can't do anything about it but but if they did decide to do that if they did decide to change their policies yeah yeah like we would have to buy

a piece of that the american people have to buy a piece of that in order to own a piece of it i would assume i don't think you can do it with like, so like YouTube's part of Google, right? And Google makes its money off of ads. How do you turn that into a public resource and still run ads? I don't know. I don't know how you do it, right? It'd have to get publicly funded. I don't know. I'm not smart enough to know this. Ask Steve King

of Iowa. He'll know. You know what? I'll get him and Gohmert in the same room. See if they can both ask some really great questions about how this works. Hey, enjoy the quakes. Enjoy the quakes, Googlers. Big ones, right? It can still be a glorious 2018.

We got enough time. Big fucking quake. That's what I want for Christmas. That's all I want. I want to see Googlers I want to see Googlers deep under the surface of the earth. All Googlers? Anybody who uses Google as a search engine? All people.

Literally, there's like one guy. I think of my dad. Are we all chuds? We're all under the surface. Where'd everybody go? You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers! I want the truth entitled to them. You want answers.

I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This is right-wing watch. Rick Wiles. The Democrats and Russia worked together to take down the NRA. Oh, the Democrats did that. The Democrats. The Democrats did that.

This is a spin of logic so amazing. The Democrats did that. You is, huh? This is a spin of logic so amazing. The Democrats did that. This is, you cannot possibly love this enough. What if, what if the real conspiracy here is a carefully made Russian plan? Now this, this gets, you gotta What? What do we gotta do? I gotta put my finger in my own ass? Because I'm willing, Rick. I'm willing to do this.

And if you'd like to put your finger in your own ass, get some lube over at adamandeve.com. Adamandeve.com. Enter Gloria at checkout. Get 50% almost any item. A free sex swing and free shipping. Lube up your ass and stick whatever you want up there. AdamandEve.com. If you've got enough lube,

you could stick Rick Wild's up there. You gotta listen to this one. Because I'm making it up as I go, guys. Exactly. Here we go, guys. Hold on tight. All aboard. I'm going to tell you something completely untrue that I just literally thought of.

What if the Russians are working with the leftist Democrats and the news media? What about the rightist Democrats? No, Democrats can't be right. They're always wrong. In this country, who hate conservatives, who hate gun owners, who hate Christians, who hate everything the old America stood for? What if the Russians are working with the far left in America to bring about a collapse of our society? What about if instead the Russians are working with the Republicans? Or what if the Russians were working with the Russians? Yeah, that's the other thing, right?

Is that the Russians are working for the Russians, right? So the Russians don't care which side. That's why they're playing both sides. It's the same thing as like, look at like any major company and look at who they donate to. They donate to both parties. Yeah. Right. They hedged every bet.

They donate to both parties. Yeah. Right. They hedged every bet. They donate to both parties. The Russian disinformation campaign is aimed at achieving certain goals that are good for Russia. Yeah. They don't give a shit about what's good for America or not good for America. It's not. It was whatever makes us weak makes them strong. Yeah. That's it.

Yeah. That's the whole thing. Yeah. So they'll do whatever they need to do on any particular issue to accomplish their goals. And a civil war. Like a real life perestroika? So, yes, like a real life perestroika where you infiltrate not a left wing group, but you infiltrate a right wing group, compromise them, and then use your allies in America to investigate them and accuse them and prosecute them. And I thought perestroika, it's the ending of central planning in the beginning of

introducing market concepts to the Soviet economy. Why would that be a relevant thing to say? I don't know. Let's listen to it one more time. A collapse of our society and a civil war. Like a real-life perestroika? So, yes, like a real-life perestroika where you infiltrate not a left-wing group, but you infiltrate a right-wing group, compromise them, and then use your... Okay, so you infiltrate a right-wing group and then compromise them. How? What does that mean to compromise them?

I don't know. What does it mean to infiltrate? I'm not even asking you to be quiet. I don't know what it means. So you pretend you're one of them. I'm presuming that's what it means by infiltrate it. Like Maria Butina? And then you compromise them by making them look bad, maybe?

I guess. I genuinely am asking the question. That's being generous. Sure, yeah. Okay. Okay. I guess. I didn't.

I genuinely am asking a question. That's being generous. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Compromise them and then use your allies in America to investigate them and accuse them and prosecute them. Oh, so you make them misbehave.

So here's what I think he's saying. Okay. Is that you're the Russians. That's what I think. I'm not sure. I think you're the Russians. Okay. I'm not the Russians. But anyway, go ahead. I think you are. I'm not. You probably are. I'm not sure. I think you're the Russians. Okay. I'm not the Russians, but anyway, go ahead.

I think you are. I'm not. You probably are. I'm probably the Russians. A Russian would say they weren't. I'm Russian. Okay. Yeah.

Damn it. My name's Maria. So you infiltrate a right-wing group like the NRA or whatever, and then you get them to behave illegally or immorally or unethically. That's how they become compromised. Then, once they've done something wrong, then you expose

their wrongdoing in order to make them look bad. How do you get President Trump to pay off a porn star? How do you do that? You're like, you're such a chicken. You're never going to pay off a porn star? How do you do that? You're like, you're such a chicken. You're never going to pay off a porn star.

You'll never do it. You'll never pay her off. You'll never pay her off. You're just a big chicken face. Bok, bok, bok. Chicken, chicken, chicken. I don't know. Bok, bok, bok, bok, bok. But also, like, you have to be compromisable. Like, even in that scenario, right? Like, you have to be somebody. I mean, yeah, like,

somebody's got to get his dick hard to fuck her. Right. I mean, like, I don't know if you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I don't know. Like, you know, if you compromise somebody, they will, like you said, they were compromisable. There's, there's been all this talk since the very beginning of when Trump came in

about how he was compromised, right? He's compromised in some way. They're talking about like in some way that they had something on him, whatever, et cetera. Peeing on a girl or something, you know, they sucked about that in one of those reports. You got, like you said, you got to be compromisable though, right?

Like that means you went somewhere and acted badly. That means they got something on you because you acted badly. Right, yeah, exactly. It's not that somebody held a gun to your head and said, you're going to let this hooker pee on you and we're going to film it. Right. It's, I really want to have a hooker pee on me. Right.

You know, like that's, so you went somewhere and did something that people might find, you know. Right. Well, you know, I've talked about this before. It's like, I feel very confident that like everything I've ever done could be exposed and I would not be damaged. Right. I'd be like, yeah, okay. Like it might be embarrassed. The worst I could ever be is like a little like, ah, embarrassed.

And like, that would be it. Like I, but like, it's only if you have behaved in ways that are egregious to you, right? In ways that you're like, I should not have. I don't want people to know about. That's the only, so like, just don't be that. Literally, like, just don't be that. Don't break the law. Right.

And you should be okay. Yeah. Because that's going to be the thing that's going to get you, you get you kicked out of office or whatever. Otherwise, how do they compromise? Yeah. You know, it's interesting. Speaking of this... They can't bribe you if you won't take a bribe. Right. You know, one of the interesting things that I heard this week, there's

been a lot of talk about whether or not we can indict a sitting president. A lot of people have gone back and forth. Can you do it? Can you not do it? And I heard an interesting take this week. And the take was in this particular instance, it's not that you can't indict a sitting president because maybe you can't indict a sitting president. But in this particular instance, he wouldn't have been president if not for those actions in which we wish to indict him for. Right. And so you can't just

break all the rules to get the job and let the job insulate you, right? Yeah, exactly. Could be compromised allies too because we've got the Uranium One story that at any time Russia could drop a dime on any one involved in that. The Russians have the goods on Hillary Clinton. Right. All they have to do is say,

here's the receipt for the money we gave the Clintons. And so if you really stop to think about this, this fits into that Hegelian dialectic, Rick, that delta principle working both sides in order to achieve what's the goal? The collapse of the USA. So what happens if the left in America is able to make a case that the NRA received money from the Russians? And the demand is on for the shutdown of the NRA. And then the money trail leads to the religious right. And religious right starts falling like dominoes.

And before you know it. But what if they did all those things? Yeah. Like, you're worried that, like, that you don't like the result of being exposed for the corruption. But, like, what if they were corrupt? Yeah. What if you did the wrong thing? Yeah.

Well, and he's saying, saying like the religious right will fall. Well, if the religious right did something wrong, it should fall. Shouldn't they fall? I don't get it. I, I am unsure what,

what the controversy here is. What's interesting is that like constantly I've said on this show, like if there's any corruption on my side, I want to know about it. I want to know about it. I want to know about it. I want to know what I want to expose. I don't want to get rid of it. You know, when there was a big pushback and Anthony Weiner, you know, got exposed.

Great. Great. Somebody exposed his Weiner. Get rid of him. He's gone. Same thing happened. Happened with. What's that guy's name?

The Al Franken. When Al Franken. When Al Franken, when that thing happened with Al Franken and he got, and he got kicked out, right? He got kicked out. He didn't get kicked out. He resigned from the Senate or whatever.

He resigned because he was embarrassed by something that happened that where he, you know, had some compromise, took inappropriate photos. And he, he resigned. Good. He resigned.

He thought, you know what? I can't do the things that I was doing and still feel like I was, you know, and still be in the moral right by doing them. And by doing this sort of thing, I'm just going to step down. And he did. And he just fucking stepped down. And I was happy. I was good. You know what? He wanted to step down. He stepped down. Great. You know, I don't, I don't see what the problem is. It feels like what they want is they want this person to do wrong and then just be able time. And then I want him to stay in power. Even after it's found out that he was,

I was acting badly. No, I don't want that guy in power anymore. He's acting badly. Yeah, man. But like, I feel like I totally agree with you,

but I feel like the disconnect you and I have is that like, we care if the people that, that like represent us are bad people. Because if you're a bad person, you can't represent. I cannot represent you if I have no moral credibility. I don't think they feel that way.

I feel like a lack of moral credibility does not prevent somebody from representing them. As long as that person is a pragmatic answer to the policies that they want. Yeah, as long as it, it's the end justifies the means.

Yeah. I literally don't, it's a way better way of saying it. I literally don't care. Yeah. I literally don't care of who's in the office. Yeah.

It can be, you know, a fucking, they could fucking, they could fucking fart in a Ziploc bag. And if it voted for me every time, I don't care that it's an animate fart in a Ziploc bag that votes. How long would that stay fresh?

What's the freshness data of fart? I don't know. If, if what happens if you freeze it? Well, what happens if you fart in a bag and you freeze it? I had a friend. Science needs to answer this question. I had a friend in high school who used to, when he'd go to people's houses, he would fart in the refrigerator and shut the door. Like all the time.

And it worked. They'd open it up and be like, why it went bad in here? Who brought home White Castle? He did it all the time. He farted in the fridge. What an idiot. His high school's terrible people.

And now he's president. And that man was Donald Trump. Donald Trump. And now you know Donald Trump. Donald Trump. And now you know. It's funny because Trump means fart. Did you know that? No.

In like Britain or whatever. That's the slang for farts. I don't know how true that is. It could have been Andy fucking with me or something. But I thought I heard him say that Chubby's fart. He farted. He smelled like a fart in the fridge. Oh, God.

Oh, that's so stupid. What an asshole. Oh, God. People are throwing away their Jell-O molds. Like, what happened in here? Oh, man. You have chaos in the society. You have open civil war.

And you have NRA patriots being accused of being Russian agents. Yes. Well, no, in your circumstance, you filed the money from Russia to the NRA in your own admission. I know. Oh, yeah. I need a Hegelian dialectic to better understand that. Yeah, but was it a Paris was it a Paris striker? That's how I'm like a real

and they're being accused by far left communists. Yes. Far left communists are going to be accusing patriots of being traitors to Russia. And they would have a case. And they have because they

you're admitting you would have a case. And they have a case they plotted. You're admitting he would have a case. And they have a case. Why though? Why? Because there's proof. Because there's proof that they're collaborating with the Russians when they do that thing. Isn't it crazy that they somehow found a way to blame the Democrats? Democrats like they somehow found a way that rock that the AB line from Russia to fucking the Republican Party, you know, NRA somehow bypassed not in Willoughby. It would bypass

it bypassed in Democrat land somehow. Unbelievable. Yeah, but how does that work when viewed through a Hegelian dialectic? I gotta get my Paris strikeout. Because they plotted together. Yes. That's the point I'm trying to make. They plotted together. I'm not saying that that's what's happened.

I'm just saying, consider the possibility that this is what happened. So this week, we're not going to mention our patrons. We're not going to do our email because the show is recorded prior. So we could have a short week off before we started in earnest the new year. But I did want to mention that on the third, this Thursday, we are going to be releasing our 2018 Toaster Shaken's Best and Worst of Cognitive Dissonance. So if you want to catch that, it's going to be releasing this Thursday.

Quick question. What's the difference between the best and the worst? Not a lot. I didn't think so. Turns out, not a lot. Some would say it's the same thing. I was just curious what the metrics were, my friend. Just trying to get my rubric ready. But that will be ready for you on Thursday of this week.

So be sure to check your iPodulator at around Thursday morning, and it will be releasing. But we're going to be back with a fresh show next week, and we thank you for joining us, but we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in

scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces,

cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Pisces, Cancer Cures, Detox, Reflex, Foot Massage Death in Towers, Tarot Cards, Psychic Healing, Crystal Balls Bigfoot, Yeti, Aliens, Churches, Mosques and Synagogues Temples, Dragons, Giant Worms Atlantis, Dolphins, Truthers, Birthers, Witches, Wizards Vaccine Nuts Shaman Healers, Evangelists, Conspiracy Double Speak Stigmata, nonsense.

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