Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 469: Chicken Pox Van

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

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This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in redacted. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and to every topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome.

This is episode 469 of Cognitive Dissonance, and I will probably be held by Congress for contempt for that opening, Cecil. And do you know how much fucking difference it's going to make when they hold me for contempt? The same as when they held Barr for contempt. It's funny because I looked it up. I was like, well, has this ever happened before? Yeah. Happened to Obama. Eric Holder was held in contempt to Congress. It literally means nothing. I read an interesting article. They're like, his life goes on

as if this did not happen. This is just a way for Congress to hold, and it was funny because I read this article. It was like, they're holding his feet to the fire. I'm like, you don't hold somebody's feet to the fire if there's no fire. If it doesn't do anything, then there's nothing. You're not taking anything away from me.

You're not grounding me. It's of no effect. It does nothing. It's like your dad being like, well, I'm not even going to, I'm going to be angry and disappointed, but I'm not even going to mention it. Right.

Okay. Well, then it didn't happen, man. Yeah. Who cares? Who cares? Bart is just like, I can't even imagine something of less consequence i remember when i was a kid and my dad would start with the he all the kids would be like oh no don't give us a

lecture because the lecture would take forever uh-huh and we'd much rather get beat than get and i remember i remember being like being like oh god i don't i, I just hope he just hits me. Like I hope he just physically abuses me rather than talks to me. Rather than emotionally abuse you. Yeah, well, I don't know if it wasn't even emotional abuse because I didn't care what he had to say. When I was a kid, my dad worked as a single parent.

Yeah. And so like I was watched by different families when I was growing up. And one of the families that watched me, like they would, they would, when I would get in trouble, they'd be like, all right, you can, you know, write a hundred times or whatever, you know, I will not lie, whatever fucking was, you know, or I can give you like three or four swats. Right. Oh. And the guy that would do it, um, Norm, he's a big guy with these fucking mailman. He has enormous calloused anger hands, like fucking hammocks.

Yeah. You know, ham hocks, I should say, not actually hammocks. That would be different. That was very comfortable spanking you gave me. Oh, look at that. I like that. Actually, it's really nice. I could nap in those mitts of yours.

It's really nice. If it was a sunny day and I had a book, I could really enjoy this. You know, if it's a fall day, give me a blanket and I'll stay out here all night. But like, and every single time I'll stay out here all night. But like, and every single time I'd be like, same reasoning. Be like,

you fucking, he'd hit you hard but you'd be like, that sucked. Yeah. But that's over in 40 seconds. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, 100% of the time I want the SWAT. Did you have a beating in your school, in your high school? No,

they never did beatings in school. They did it in our school that you were allowed to take the paddle over detention. I would have taken the paddle every time. I did have taken the paddle every time.

I did it all the time. I did it all the time. What was the dumbest thing you ever got detention for? Was your school real strict on that shit? I would get it. I was always late. So like I would smoke in the, I never got caught smoking, but I was always late to class because I was smoking.

So I would get a detention regardless of whether they caught me smoking or not because I was late because I wanted to finish the cigarette. I love the idea that like, because you're late, you have to stay late. Like that's just doubling the late. Like I feel like that's two negatives. It's not good at all. Saturday detention, I got a couple of times too. I never had a Saturday detention. Saturday detention. Internal detention, I got many times too. What's an internal detention? Internal detention was they put you in a little room with a bunch of other miscreants and you just sat there all day. Oh, the internal suspension

is what they called that. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what I meant. I'm sorry. I messed up. All right. Our school was super, like, crazy strict.

So, like, you would get everything. The minimum number of detentions was three. Really? Yeah. So, like, if you got caught chewing gum, you got three detentions.

And, like, our school was so strict. Like, we had a kid. This is was so strict. Like we had a kid, this is a terrible story, but we had a kid get run over by a car playing soccer. Jesus.

Right? So this, this, this woman. Did you guys build a field after that instead of playing on the streets? There's like a,

there's like a ref on the side. He's like, game on! Game on! Gotta give it to him. Hit the hell out of that ball. No, like they put guardrails up

I'll tell you that's what they did somebody drove onto your soccer field yeah the woman had like a the driver had a fit she had like an epileptic fit

oh no and she like passed out and she drove through the soccer field and hit a couple of them and killed this kid Jesus Christ

are you kidding me no no and people were did she get a detention this is the best part this is the best part so but my school was like everything was like kid. Jesus Christ. Are you kidding me? No, no. And people were, did she get a detention? This is the best part. So, but my school was like, everything was like a zero tolerance policy, which actually, cause my dad is a zero tolerance guy. I thrived. I was like, okay, you're not allowed to, so you don't get caught doing it. It doesn't mean you don't do it. You never,

never, never do it in front of somebody. Right. So like I was mostly fine. Occasionally like chewing gum or some stupid shit, you know, but like you couldn't do any public displays of affection. So no hugging, no handholding, no kissing, nothing that they would call a PDA. This kid gets fucking run over and people are in the hallway and they're sad and they're crying and they're hugging. Shut up. And they're fucking writing them up. Grief hugging. Grief hugging. You can't get it right up. Do you get detention for grief hugging? Grief hugging. You can't get, you got it right up. You got detention for grief hugging? For grief hugging. I wasn't even sad,

but some girl I knew wanted a hug and I was like, yeah, I'll give you a hug. Like, I'm a freshman. I will. I'm touching a girl in any way.

I will capitalize on this person's death. I don't know the girl. I'm fucking, you know what I like? The people are just sad. I'm like, hugs all around. I'm a fat kid.

I'm jolly as fuck. Rotovirus, rubella, smallpox, tetanus, chickenpox. So even if vaccination did cause autism, which it fucking doesn't, anti-vaccination would still be bullshit. This story comes from cron.com. I love that. Houston Chronicle from Kron.com. I love that. Houston Chronicle.

Kron. It sounds like something out of like the Avengers Endgame. Like they have to fight Kron in order to make sure that they could get the Soul Stone or whatever. Like when they were just buying this website, they were like, should we call it Houston Kron? Just call it Kron. Kron lives here now. Isn't that a movie where people could see in the future like little

centaurs or something? And the guy, no, that's Kron. It's a different movie. Isn't that the one where they live inside a computer and they shoot like laser frisbees at each other? And they drive around on space bikes and they cut each other off and they explode?

We also call that the Dan Ryan. That's a Chicago joke. Oh, Jesus Christ. God, that expressway is scary. Oh my God. I drove by it today. I drove by it today. The on-ramp was stopped for three and a half

minutes. And I got in the other lane and just kept going. I was like, I guess I can't get off here. I don't know. I'm just going to keep driving. They did all this crazy construction this winter and like I would come into the city

for a thing and then you'd go to leave and you'd have to get on to like, so Chicago, Chicago did this great thing with all their expressways. So they, there's like four expressways

that all like mushed together. Yeah, in the circle. It's the circle. Yeah. And it's utter madness. It's the nuttiest. Yeah, in the circle. It's the circle. And it's utter madness. It's the nuttiest fucking way to do it too. It's just like, hey, can we get everybody downtown and then intermingle? What do you say?

It'll be like a big party. So what if we had one expressway? Well, that's a lot of people. What if we had two? No, it's a lot. What if we had four and we put them all in the same place? We made them go circle. It's like one of those awkward dances

where the Eisenhower asked the Dan Ryan for a dance. So like they did all this construction. Everything's all fucked up. And so like I wanted to get from like 90-94 to 290. And like where it have me merge, you have to get over like four leg. You merge in like

a 15 foot merge. You have to essentially turn your car perpendicular to the lanes and drive across. And then you get on it. Like, 290 is like no merge zone. There's no merge at all. So you just close your eyes,

hit the gas, and wince. Like, that's all that you do. Right. They're like, oh, God! It's so funny

because Eisenhower, when you merge there, there's an on-ramp for it that's all blocked. So it's all blocks. It's like you're basically in the pit area for like a stock car, right?

It's like a pit area. There's nowhere to go. And then the merge entrance is 25 feet yield side. And you're like, 25 feet yield side? What?'re like, 25 feet yield sign? What? Yield,

how would I do that? I don't even know how to do it. I don't like, I feel like that's a command I can't follow. Like it feels like, it feels like I'm murdering Jews for the Nazi army.

Like I can't follow that command. Well, you can't. Okay, nevermind. We had a whole Nuremberg thing about that. We really can't. Okay, never mind. We had to hold Nuremberg. Think about that. We really can't. Kron says. I don't even know how we got here. I don't either. I don't care. Alright, Texas lawmaker calls

vaccines sorcery. Shut up. Verbally attacks prominent advocate. Shut up. Oh my god. Sorcery? Okay, you gotta scroll up because you gotta look at this guy real quick. So this is Representative Jonathan Strickland. Shock, guys. Hold your fucking horses.

He's a Republican. What? Oh my God. Who would have thought? Anyway, he looks like he should have gotten the obesity vaccine like a long time ago. He needs to go back to Men's Warehouse

because that thing doesn't look like it fits very well. It doesn't look like it would fit anything. I tell you right now, if they sold that to me, I would not like it. I guarantee it. All right. So what happened is

this vaccine advocate, doctor, by the way, doctor, Peter Hotez, maybe mispronouncing that, he posted some stuff online. And as a result,

a Texas legislature, this fucking Jonathan Strickland guy, tweets back to him. He says, you are bought and paid for by the biggest special interest in politics. What? Do our state a favor and mind your own business. Parental rights mean more to us than your self-enriching, in quotes here, science. We got to take that one apart okay all right the biggest special interest in politics is the vaccine lobby like the positive thing about the special interest in politics i think we can go from the top right so i was thinking about this okay russia number one

i wish i were kidding i want to laugh but it's like true at this point okay all right russia yeah china's behind the scenes yeah china yeah saudi arabia but okay fine outside of foreign national interests which really control our destiny so outside of those guys yeah yeah no it's that's it's literally happening and we're we're doomed. Oil, like we're saying that vaccines are bigger than oil. I know, right? Like oil is. Oil. Yeah.

Yeah. Oil is smaller. Oil is just, it's grassroots. Jesus Christ. Media companies. Yeah. Huh. Yeah.

That's weird. You know, vaccines definitely. Vaccines shoot right up to the top. Do you remember, I'm curious, Cecil, do you remember the last vaccine that you had? How long ago was it? It was a while ago. I mean, it was because I was traveling somewhere

and I don't remember where it was, but I was traveling and they needed to give me a vaccine. I got a host of vaccines after I got meningitis because they're like, you should try not to get that again. It's like, they gave me a bunch of booster vaccines and stuff. And I had a tetanus vaccine.

I caught myself. They're like fucking free, by the way. Yeah. They're free. You don't pay for them as a person. Your insurance company picks them up. Yeah. And your insurance company doesn't pick them up

because they're expensive and the insurance company feels real good about doing that. Yeah. It's because they're fucking cheap and preventative. Yeah. It's crazy to me. Like, I love their stance of like, follow the money. It's like, all right, I'll follow it and see who pays for it.

Well, typically private insurers pay for it. Well, what do private insurers pay for? They pay for cheap things with high returns. Yeah. Right? A cheap thing with a high return is a vaccine. Makes sense, right? It's fucking cheap and the return is,

I don't have to pay for your fucking measles. Yeah. Measles, your possible hospital stay. Right. You know, we got a message from somebody this week that said that measles, when you get it, it fucks with your immune system for up to three years. Right.

Like it can basically make you immunocompromised for three years. Yeah. Do you think the health insurance company's like, oh yeah, that sounds like a good idea. It seems like we want a bunch of people that are going to go run around, get super sick and charge us.

Like you're basically giving me a credit card at that point. I'm going to be like, go bug wild. There you go. It's your first week of college. Take daddy's black Amex card. Have a good time. But it's ridiculous. And this guy,

this guy is, when he says it's parental rights and you're just like, yeah, say that to the kid who's immunocompromised who can't get the vaccines. Like you, when you were young, you were allergic to eggs.

You couldn't get the vaccines because there was, you know, they put them in an omelet back then or whatever. But in any case, you couldn't get them. Right.

Well, say that to, say that to Tom's dad. Yeah, right. Say that to Tom's dad. It's my parental right that your fucking shitty kid got measles.

Like, are you kidding me? To be fair, I would have deserved it. I would have deserved it. And it might have rendered me sterile, which would have changed my life. I'm just saying. Changed your life? But I won't say that out loud,

but actually I just did. But anyway, so, but the thing is, is like, like it's, it's, it's the stupid idea that somehow it's your right

to, to let your kid be a fucking plague rat like that's not your right are you kidding me well you know if i if my kid i have a right as i have the idea that as a parent you have like an ownership right to your kid yeah no you're not a puppy let me let me like like let's just lay this out. You have no right at all. What you have is a set of responsibilities, which are yours to discharge, to care for these human beings, right?

In a way that not only reflects the responsibility you have to that individual, but also reflects the responsibility that that individual has to society, which you have to discharge for them until they're of an age that they can discharge that responsibility themselves. You have no rights to your kids. you have to discharge for them until they're of an age that they can discharge their responsibility themselves. You have no rights to your kids. You have no rights.

You have a responsibility. It's a bad way to think about it. It's a bad way to think about it. I love, too, this other part of this same tweet because it's wrong on every sentence. Do your state of favor and mind your own business.

Says this guy to a doctor. This guy to a doctor is like, hey, doctor. Hey. That does this. Guy whose business this is. Literally your business. There's no way that providing medical advice

is not the business of a doctor. Not telling you how to fix your TV. Right. Yeah. Exactly. He's telling you how to keep your kids not sick. Badroom beeswax. What are you kidding me?

It's crazy. And I love that he puts science in quotes. Oh, I know. Oh, it's so good. It's so good. Science. The whole thing is just num, num, num, num. Like, it's all just like, you are a fool.

Do you remember when we were having a conversation about qualifications for office? And you're just like, you see this guy, and he's like, you and your science. And later on, he's going to call it sorcery. And you're just like, we've gone in under 60 years from amazing vaccine that can prevent hundreds of thousands of illnesses to what's with that little book of shit? I know. This is our reality, man.

This is the now. I know. How is that possible? Qualifications for office, you shouldn't look at science and be like, throw a bone at the monolith. Like, what the fuck is happening, man? You shouldn't be just like a little bit up on the times and be like, oh, you know what? We figured out vaccine, what, 60 years ago? Oh, okay. Yeah. I think it's okay. Yeah. You know, what's crazy is that you kind of, you alluded to this last time we recorded. And by alluded,

I mean you fucking said it, but I'll just iterate your much better stated point. But it's amazing how like back when the diseases we had vaccines, we were creating vaccines for were rampant.

Yeah. People were literally standing in massive lines to get it. Desperate to get it. To get this, yeah. It's like, I don't want to get that

because my neighbor got that and now their house has got an estate sale sign. Yeah, exactly. Right. And now it's like, I don't want to get that because my neighbor got that. And now their house has got an estate sale sign. Yeah, exactly right. And now it's like, well, nobody know has it. So it's not real. And magic is a thing. And anyway, Jenny McCarthy.

And you're just like, oh my fucking God. You want to take this guy and just carve a horcrux into his face. You're talking about a disease that is rampant in the world. That is an awful, shitty thing to get that can put you in the hospital. They're saying 9% of the people who contract it go to the hospital. It's 90% virulent, meaning you go into a room and there's a 90% chance if you've never had it before, you're going to get it.

And somehow this twat thinks, Oh, it's like sorcery. This is the guy. This is the fucking guy from Waterboy. It's like, well, mama said gators are ornery because they have all those teeth and no toothbrush. She's like, you're an idiot. You're an idiot. Why are you a legislator? How does that work? Well, admittedly, the bar is lower in Texas.

Like, let's just be honest. How does he fit under it, though? You see the size of him? You can't get under that bar. Let's just be honest. How does he fit under it though? You see the size of him? You can't get under that bar. So the doctor who I want to emphasize is a doctor,

also a PhD, by the way. He's got an MD and a PhD. He says he doesn't take a dime from the vaccine industry, that he's a Texas pediatrician and scientist who develops neglected disease vaccines for the world's poorest people. Oh my God. Like he's not even just a regular like.

Yeah, no. MD. He's like, hold on. Just a cotton picking moment here. Like if this is anybody's job. Right. It's this guy's job. It's this guy's job.

This guy is like the poster child for that's my fucking job. This is the guy who they call in and be like, can you defuse this bomb? He's like, I built that bomb. Yeah, right. I made that bomb. I invented that bomb. I wrote the wiring schematic for that bomb. I know exactly what's happening. That's the guy who they call in and be like, can you defuse this bomb? He's like, I built that bomb. Yeah, right. I made that bomb. I invented that bomb. I wrote the wiring schematic for that bomb. I know exactly what's happening.

That's the guy who walks up to the bomb and is like, cut it out. And it just stops. It's just the bomb's like, fuck. Heal. Go lay down. So here's the Twitter exchange because that's the world we live in now.

This is great. This is your favorite part of the show. We get to retweet. Wow, that's impressive. This is great. This is your favorite part of the show. We get to retweet. Wow, that's impressive. This is from the doctor and PhD, which is the same thing, but you know what I mean. Wow, that's impressive

from a member of the Texas House of Representatives. Sir, as you know, I don't take a dime from the vaccine industry. I develop neglected disease vaccines for the world's poorest people. And as a Texas pediatrician scientist, it's most certainly my business. And this fucking

This is amazing. Yawky doc This is amazing. Texas says make the case for your sorcery to consumers on your own dime. Make the case for your sorcery to consumers on your own dime. Sorcery! It's a vaccine!

They don't wave a wand in front of your face and be like you don't get measles now. They inject you with something. So I love every part of this sentence. Make the case for your sorcery to consumers on your own time. It's Twitter. It's everybody's dime. It's nobody's dime.

What about your own dime? Like, am I using public funds to tweet this to you? Is he at an internet cafe or something? What's going on? Then he has a full period. Yeah, full period.

Then he has this sentence and I want to read this sentence just on its own. Sure. Like every other business. And I read that because that's not a sentence. That's a fragment

which they teach you in fourth grade not to write like that. I don't know what that means. Yeah, you don't because it doesn't have a subject. We got to sent it back to fifth grade

diagramming his tweet. And it's just like, I suck at this. I shouldn't have gotten to a talkie job. Quit using the heavy hand of government to make your business profitable

through mandates and immunity. It's disgusting. No, if you get immunity out of the deal, that's why we have the vaccines. Mandates and immunity sounds like a pretty good idea. Yeah, I will mandate immunity. If somebody said,

Tom, I am going to mandate that you are immune to diseases, I'd be like, that's my favorite mandate. That sounds like the best. I've been waiting for that one. Unreal. This guy believes storks bring babies to people. This is like the best. I've been waiting for that one. Unreal. This guy believes storks bring babies to people. This is a fucking idiot.

Oh, Jesus Christ. That guy's in politics. How is that possible? He's a decision maker for the people. How is that possible? I love the idea, too, that he's a representative, which means that there are people that are like, that's my guy. Yeah. Oh, man.

I love the way he stood up to big pediatrics. which means that there are people that are like, that's my guy. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. I love the way he stood up to big pediatrics. Investigate 311. All right. So this is kind of a two-parter. First one's from Right Wing Watch. Falwell urges Barr to prosecute those who launched a Mueller investigation.

So Jerry Falwell Jr., he is the monstrous adult son of Jerry Falwell Sr. Yeah, the apple didn't fall far from the tree when it comes to monsters here. It turns out incest makes that tree smaller. It gets the branches. The branches just merge together in this weird super branch. It turns out incest makes that tree smaller. It gets the branches. The branches just merge together in this weird super branch.

It's very strange. It's all stunty and low to the ground. So Jerry Falwell Jr., he appeared on the Breitbart News and he said he's doing everything to help the middle class, the average American. Trump is, right? Trump is?

This is what he's saying Trump is doing. That's why he got elected. That's why evangelicals support him. Because most evangelicals are average Americans and not part of the elitist establishment. I'd like to read this between the lines. That's why he got elected.

That's why dumbasses supported him because most evangelicals are dumbasses and they're most evangelicals are dumbasses and they're not educated. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Because you're just saying like, they're not part of the elitist establishment. What they're saying is like, they're not a bunch of book learning guys. They don't know them fancy words you're using. They didn't go to one of them colleges or universities. And again, we've shown many, many times on this show that these people are too,

they vote against their own interests all the time. We talk about, you know, talk about Trump's, you know, this amazing thing he's doing for the middle class, right? First off, they didn't tell anybody that how they were doing this tax cut. Tons of people got fucked because they treat income tax

like their own personal bank account. And so tons of people got fucked because of the income tax. Oh my God. Chad, that was fucking a disaster buckle, right? Then you talk about the tax cuts that he's making, right? So if he makes a bunch of tax cuts, are there more jobs? Is the economy doing a little better? Yeah, sure. When you shit, basically shit a ton of money into the economy, it gets better, right? So like there are, there has been more jobs that are being created. Now, does that mean that those jobs are worth having? I don't know, right? And that's, and there's other, other metrics that you can use to determine that. But you know,

if you're looking at raw jobs, yes, it is absolutely true. There are more jobs and there are jobs being created and the unemployment rate is lower. That's absolutely true. Now, does that mean that those people that are employed are off of public assistance, that those people are thriving, that they have time in their day to do other things? You know, is it eight hours of work, eight hours of leisure, eight hours of sleep, or is it 16 hours of work and try to sleep when you can? You know, we don't know. I don't know what metrics you would be looking for. But I do want to say that when you shit money into the economy, it does for a while get better. But there is going to be a reckoning.

What's amazing to me that W did the same thing. Everybody gets $300. Here's $300. $300 for everybody. Go out and buy one of those flat screen monitors. You can take this $300 and we'll take probably some of the poor kids

and send them to Afghanistan. Anyway, $300. Oh yeah. We're going to send them all over. They're going to find those weapons of mass destruction eventually. And if they don't, then we'll just keep invading things.

Anyway, whatever. Pay no attention. So like he shits money into the economy, which is a big government. That's big government intervention into the economy. That's not free market. Then the Trump tax cut. It's a pathetic tax cut.

It's a tax cut primarily for the wealthy. The tax cut for the middle class was virtually non-existent. Most people didn't feel the effect on a two-week bi-weekly paycheck basis. They felt the effect for sure when they filed their refund. At the end of the year. And they were like, well, I normally get a refund. They're like, well, instead you got 12 more dollars every two year. And they were like, well, I normally get a refund. And like one said, you got 12 more dollars every two weeks.

And like, I didn't even notice that. So like, people are not thrilled about that. The deficit, which they scream about under Democrat spending plans, the deficit is soaring,

soaring, absolutely fucking going through the roof. They only care when it's the other side that does it. Right, right. It's all bullshit. The whole thing is complete bullshit.

The Trump tax cuts were a fucking disaster and nobody likes them. Yeah. Like nobody feels like, except for the ultra wealthy. There's a few people that like them, I'm sure. Yeah. The ultra wealthy is who they were designed to embedder. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It says here, it says, speaking of the two-year investigation that yielded the Mueller report, Falwell said that he hoped Attorney General William Barr would go after people responsible for, quote, probably the greatest scandal

and abuse of power in American history, end quote. Go after them, right? To go after them. And I don't know why this would, this would, first off, I don't know why this would surprise anyone because when we were watching the debates

and we were live tweeting the debates, there was one or two times where he specifically said, I would investigate you, you'd be in prison. Right. Yeah, I remember that.

They were big crowd moments. Everybody loved it. They're still chanting lock her up. Right? I don't know how this surprises him. Right.

Right? I don't know how this is a shock. This is not a shock. This is, this is just business as usual. This is exactly what he was hoping to have happen. He wasn't looking for anything else.

And Falwell is just like one of the rest of the guys that follow Trump. They all think that, you know, when somebody investigates you, you can just go after them. They don't realize that there's already a mechanism in there, right? For example, if Manafort,

it turns out all the evidence was fabricated against Manafort. We find this out in a year. Manafort leaves jail, gets exonerated. Now he can sue the government because they wrongfully convicted him, right? This happens to people when they're exonerated from murders or other crimes

that they clearly, like DNA evidence clears them, and we force them to spend many years in jail. Those people sometimes have compensation that they get after the fact. Sometimes that compensation's offered. Sometimes they have to sue for more compensation because they're like, we'll give you a buck a year or else, you know?

But some of those people get windfalls because they spent 20, 30 years of their life in jail that they're never getting back. And now the government has to pony up. There's already an avenue to try to make things right afterwards. Nobody was, like Trump, Trump's going to go after who? What? They didn't do anything.

They just talked to people. What are you going to go after them for? They talked to people. They did an investigation. How are you damaged by that? Yeah, it's like if every time the police investigated somebody and didn't convict them, it'd be like if that person got to go and be like, well, you know, now because I was a suspect in a crime until you found out it was the other guy.

Now for the inconvenience of being a suspect in a crime until you found out it was the other guy. Now, for the inconvenience of being a suspect in that crime, now I get to file suit against the guy. Get the fuck out of here. It's fucking stupid. How the fuck are you going to... Otherwise, what you're asking for is arrive at a conclusion and back it up.

And if you were 100% scot-free and didn't do anything, then everybody who started the investigation that was calling for it in the media, called the Democrats, they'd look like idiots. They'd be like, that would be the best comeuppance ever.

But instead you were shady. And there was a lot of shady shit that happened. And there's a lot of shady shit in that report. And there's a lot of bombshells in that report. And you know what? If you're going to go after them for pointing that shit out, that's bad shit you did.

It's not like anybody forced you to do that shit. That's shit you did. And if you're mad at the fucking fbi you're pissed off at the fbi you know what you do why don't we just put them on administrative leave for a week that's what we do when they shoot somebody i know so why don't we just do that right to be paid administrative let's do paid administrative leave you shot that guy go on vacation exactly you know what i'm so mad you get a free week's vacation you need to go to the Cancun. That's where you need to go. You know, you go to Punta Cana and think about what you've done. Can you go get your groove back?

I have a photograph of Falwell having fellatio with the sheep. And Mr. Fartwell is a liar, a glutton, and a sheep of fire. My client's name is Jerry Falwell. Jerry Falwell. Jerry Falwell. That's what I said, Jerry Falwell. So the story comes from CNBC. Trump fixer Michael Cohen

says he helped evangelical leader Jerry Falwell Jr. handle racy photos. So he just covered a story. Handle them? Like he just stood there and he's like,

okay, I'll hold them for you while you jerk off. Like what is it? He's got to handle them. I can't see them and I need both hands for the job I'm about to do. I got to stick. I got to fist my own

ass. Not because my dick's that big. And squish my own balls. Actually, I'm going to need a hand of yours if you don't mind. Can you come in here? Can we phone a friend? I'm going to need that chick from that Mars Attacks movie with the three tits. It wasn't Mars Attacks.

Whatever that Mars movie is. Total recall. Total recall. Totalits. It wasn't Mars Attacks. It was whatever that Mars movie. Total Recall. Total Recall. I need her in here too. Very specific. My kink is very specific. So this story is pretty much what it says. Like Michael Cohen says

that he helped Jerry Falwell Jr. deal with some racy photos. Photos that were described as the kinds of photos that a husband and wife may exchange. And I thought like, I've seen Jerry Falwell Jr. There is no photo that man should ever be taking. How long has he been married to his wife?

Do you know? I don't know. 1987. You know, I was married in 2000. Yeah. Before the advent of sending people photos that were racy. Right. Before that was a thing that you really did.

Right. I don't know that I've ever exchanged a racy photo with my wife. Because like, I'll just see her later and we'll have sex. Like, I don't need it. I'm like, I'm good. You know what I mean? Like, I can understand if like you met recently or something. Like, I get it. I don't need it. I'm like, I'm good. You know what I mean? Like, I can understand if like you, you met recently or something.

Like, I get it. It makes sense, right? Like there was a time. It's part of the flirting process. And maybe that, maybe that continues on. Right. But I'm telling you right now, I was married 13 years after this dude.

Right. And there's, you could look through all of my phone. You can look at all our messages. I'm like, are you going to pick up milk? It's not. It ain't like, are you going to put it in my butt? Here's a picture of my butt. It's not that.

I mean, it's not. Are you going to put milk and put it in my butt? That feels weird. The carton is... Milk. It's what's for dinner. It doesn't body good. But, you know, like, the thing is, is like, like, I have a hard time believing that is

all I'm saying. I have a hard time believing it. Now, I'm not saying... Oh, that's his wife. Yeah, I'm not saying... Yeah. I'm not saying it's ubiquitous that this somehow maybe... Right.

Maybe they've embraced technology, Tom. Maybe they spend so much time apart that technology helps them get together. That's a possibility. That's a possibility. For sure. I'm dubious. That's all I'm saying.

I think that they were not his wife. I will say this. I think if it's your spouse and somebody gets a hold of those pictures and then you somehow need a high-powered attorney. What do you need an attorney for? Unless it's like a cease and desist or something. The worst case somebody's going to do is

on a porn site or something. Right. Like somebody's going to embarrass you, be like, I got a naked picture of your wife. Be like, first of all, we fight now. I don't know how that happens. Also, we saw a picture of his wife and I don't know. I certainly wouldn't be embarrassed. I'd be like, I've been married to her since 1987. She looks like she's just out of high school.

So I must've married her as a zygote. I don't even know. I'm gonna marry a baby. Yeah. What do you need an attorney for? I don't even know what you need an attorney for. What moral upstanding thing is happening? What do you have?

And the thing is like, oh my you have? And the thing is, we're like, oh my God, I need an attorney. The thing I hate about this story is Michael Cohen. I hate Michael Cohen.

Do you? I just hate that guy. Why? I don't know. Like, I just feel like, I feel like, you know,

I understand, you know, if he's going to, if he's going to turn state's evidence or whatever to get himself out of trouble.

But I just look back at all the time that he was complicit. And I'm like, fuck you, dude. You were complicit in a lot of shit that fucked the American people over. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. I don't fucking care about you.

You were shitty before you got caught. Then you got caught. And now you're like, I'm real sorry. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you. I don't like you. I don't care.

You know, I mean, I do care that you've come, you brought truth out into the world, at least. You know, like, stuff that's been verified, truthful. You've brought, but there's other stuff that he said that hasn't come to fruition. So I don't even know what to believe that he has to say, that somebody doesn't vet for me. Yeah, I guess I understand what you're saying.

Like, if any change in conscience only comes about after you've been caught, you never care. You didn't give a fuck. What you didn't want is to get caught. Yeah, you didn't care. Right. You can't tell me that the cathartic moment just happens to coincide with the moment of getting caught, right? This guy is following Trump around on his knees waiting for Trump to finish on his face. Right.

That whole career, that's all he's doing. Yeah. And then, finally, he gets busted and he's like, you had me enthralled. Fuck off.

He didn't have you enthralled. You just like to fucking, you like the power it gave you and you like the fucking paycheck. And he does come off too. Like, I kind of agree with you now that I'm getting mad

and talking with you. Because he does come, because he comes across in the press as this sort of like, sad fucking droopy dog victim guy yeah exactly

but he was like he does he's got this he won't like me when I'm angry but he was I'm getting very mad he was the badass

conciliary heavy guy yeah right that's what he was he was the guy that intimidated other people he was the guy that swung his fucking dick around

so this idea that he's like, I just felt like, no, no, no, no. Because when you had power, you used it and you abused it and you intimidated the shit out of other people. Yeah. So I have a hard time being like,

but then I got intimidated too. Right, yeah. And I feel so bad now. What the left fails to understand is that vaccinations are a personal liberty issue. Okay, great. Let him go extinct. Okay, can you let me finish?

Can you let me talk? Well, can you let me finish? Can I punch you in the face? No, no, no. Oh, the justice. Oh, the justice. This is from Raw Story. Anti-vax Kentucky teen who's sued over unvaccinated chicken pox van.

Nope. Nope. Nope. A chicken pox van, though, it's like a pedophile van. You just get off easy. There's no mystery in this mystery machine. Chicken pox van.

It's driving around. It's polka dotted. It's like an ice cream truck where you just give the kids come up and just spritz them in the face with chicken pox. What the fuck?

What? Every single every single ice cream you give out it has sprinkles on it and then you dip it in feathers. You get the chicken pox

later. That's for you. Oh my God. All right. Try it again. Not stupid. All right, let's try it again. Not stupid. All right. Anti-vax Kentucky teen

who sued over unvaccinated chicken pox ban now has chicken pox. Now I love this so much. Oh God. And get it when you're a teen sucks. You had it when you were a teen. You were sick as a dog. I was definitely.

And they're saying like, it can really fuck you up. Like it's not a thing that like, it can really fuck you up. Like, it's not a thing that like you can, it can really fuck you up. But here's, here's where I want to, I want to land on this story. All right.

Some people are just too fucking stupid. And this sort of thing, when it happens to them, they will a never know. And B think it's okay that they got the chicken pot. Oh yeah. Yeah. Right.

So there's, there's no real justice here because all we can do is look at it from afar and be like, you're a fucking idiot. You'd be like, but I always wanted it. And you're like, but you realize that makes you stupid, right? He's like, but I always wanted the chicken pox. And then he fucking clucks like a chicken for a while,

dies. Does the chicken dance? From fucking, because his fucking brain swells in his head. Fucking idiots. You had a chicken pox as a teenager. I did. I did.

And it was brutal. It's fucking brutal the older you get. It's brutal. It's not only, and it's not the itching part. The itching part you can deal, I think you actually can deal with the itching part better as an adult or a young adult than you can as a child. The children itching is a pain in the ass because

they don't listen. They're just going to scratch the fuck out of themselves, right? They don't care. They're going to do what they got to do. The itching part you can cope with as an adult. It's the fucking, oh my God, I think my brain is leaking out of my ear sickness that you get. And it's days of sickness. It's days of of it at least that's what i experienced it was awful i had chicken pox when i was a kid and i was a pretty young kid but i had it real bad like i had it bad enough that when i went the doctor took pictures of me to show his colleagues yeah he was like laughing like this one of the worst cases and like i remember like my mom like marveled over that i think she was kind of proud of it, weirdly.

She was super proud of it. Yeah. I was scarred. I fed him four or five chickens. I had scars all over my person from chicken pox that lasted until I was an adult. Like I did not, the last of those scars did not fade away until my 30s.

Holy shit, really? I had dozens of scars on my chest and my back. I had scars on my legs and my shoulders. Really? I had chicken pox so bad. Like I remember, I have very few memories from when I was, when I was that age, but I remember being in Florida. It was the winter time. We went out in the pool to cool my fever, swimming in the pool in like the winter time. It was horrible. Like I had chicken, the effect of

those fucking chicken pox, they like the scars literally the the literal scars lasted until my adult life amazing it's not a minor thing no it's not like it's like we have so many there's so many things we're just like ah but it's not fatal and it's like yeah but it's a it's a fucking it's all like things can be awful and not be fatal they can have repercussions and not be fatal. They can have repercussions and not be fatal. It's such a stupid barometer, but nobody should be getting chicken pox. Nobody should be getting all the things that we have. We could eradicate these things. We could, you look at the world and it's like, we don't, nobody needs to have polio anymore. Nobody needs to get that. That's, we can be done with that. There's so many things though, fit into that bucket that we could feed

everybody on the planet. We could. We could. We don't. We could. There's plenty of food waste in the United States that could go to feed tons of people in the rest of the world if we could manage how we consume food better. We could feed way more people in the world. We just

don't. We want to have plenty. We want to be able to throw food out at the end of the week. There are so many problems that we look at as intractable and they're not intractable. It's just that nobody's in charge. Yeah. And nobody wants to do them.

There's no incentive. Yeah. There's no incentive. There's no incentive to feed those people. There's no incentive here to feed those people. Sure, they're suffering. That's the only incentive is to be empathetic.

That's your only incentive because the rest of it doesn't matter. Well, I, for one, am looking forward to real globalism. Like real, like I know like all the crazy right wing is like, oh, the globalists. Yeah.

You know what? Maybe that's what we need. Maybe this breakdown of the tribalism. Yeah. Maybe the breakdown of the hyper nationalism. Maybe the complete destruction of the communityism that maybe the breakdown of the hyper-nationalism, maybe the complete destruction of the communityism that we have now, maybe that needs to happen.

Maybe we need to have a globalist movement that's real, that's based on empathy, that's based on saying like, you know what? Maybe if somebody was in charge and somebody was willing to say, yeah, you know what? We don't have to have anybody, polio. No, we don't have to have anybody. Nobody has. Yeah. No, we don't have to have anybody.

Nobody has to get mumps anymore. Nobody has to get measles. Put it in the fucking bin with smallpox. Yeah. Put it all over there in the bucket and kill it all. Yeah. But nobody's in charge. Yeah.

So it sounds like Adam and Eve has changed and they are not swinging for the fences anymore. They are not. See, so they have other offers, bigger, girthier offers. Bigger, wider. You know, the thing is what you want is more so you can put

them in different places. That's what I hear a lot. I want more. You need more. I can't do that. And here's the thing. Adam and Eve will plug you up airtight. I will tell you that right now. First off, you're going to get 50% off almost any item. You're going to get 10 free gifts from them,

a sexy item for him, special gift for her, and a third item you're both going to enjoy, and six spicy movies. Just in case you're in an Echo's Town one day and you really, really need to see some porn they will send you six movies on physical format you can't lose them you really you can't there's a thing yeah this is apocalypse porn it is right this is exactly when the shit hits the fan and you've got like your fucking exercise bike you're using to power your fucking personal grid right

you know yeah at least you'll have some spank material. You got it. Like, yeah, you can go out like that guy in Pompeii who jerked it, and he's the ash of the guy who died. Just the ash of the dude holding his own cock. That's epic as fuck. That dude is, that dude just fucking, he just owned that shit. He's like, fuck you, world.

Jerking him. Go now. But if you want to jerk it and go out. You always tell when somebody finishes by looking at the ash. All you have to do is type in Gloria Checkout. That's G-L-O-R-Y. And you'll get all of that free stuff. 50% off any item and free shipping.

The only reason I like this story, Cecil, this is from Dead State, is I actually have to admit I like the quip that's involved. So an Inside Edition reporter was trying to ask Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis why they needed a $54 million jet. Can we stop just here real quick? Yeah. This timeline that has all the scandals and Trump winning the election and all this stuff, also has in-depth hard-hitting reporting from Inside Edition. That's what this timeline has. Did you know that Inside Edition is still around?

Yeah. Because I found out today. It was as surprising to me when I read this. I would have been just as surprised to read like a hard-hitting expose by a current affair. I'd have been like, huh, well, look at that. I was blown away by it. Inside Edition. What's hilarious was in this video

at the very end of it, if you watch the whole video, you get to the end, it'll be like, Inside Edition's next scoop is them going to confront rude people on public transportation. And she's like,

yeah, that's the Inside Edition I know and love. Yeah, there we go, that's the inside edition I know and love. Yeah, there we go. That's the inside edition I know and love. So these are just like these, these two guys are super mega wealthy prosperity gospel.

Prosperity gospel. Thank you. So they're probably, and they have fucking billion dollar jets and you know, all this nonsense, right? The amount of money, millions of dollars,

54 million was the cheap one. And I want to say, I'm not on their side, right? Like amount of money, millions of dollars. $54 million was the cheap one. Or the expensive one. And I want to say, I'm not on their side. I think these are awful people to prey on the disadvantage. They had this inside audition lady thrown out physically manhandled. So she goes to ask some questions and security drags her ass out.

And I have to admit, though, that this made me laugh. And I'm a bad person. And I'm okay with it. So, like, inside audition chief investigative correspondent Lisa Guerrero attempted to question Duplantis about his need for a jet, but she was quickly grabbed and pulled away by security. Later, during a service the day after the incident, Duplantis joked about the scuffle.

I'm sorry. He says, I heard her holler. He said, I come back and said, what'd you do with her? And the security guy said, I heard her holler. He said, I come back and said, what'd you do with her? And the security guy said, I made her outside edition. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'll give that one.

I'll concede the point. There's a part of me that's like, if you beat me up, but you're real funny about it, you know, I'd be like, all right, you got me. You got me. When you were in school, were you a class clown at all?

Yeah, I was. Yeah. So was I. And like, I almost never got in trouble because I realized very early on, I remember realizing it, that if I can make the teacher laugh,

I never got in trouble. So my goal wasn't to make the other kids laugh. I figured if I get the teacher to laugh, I'm never going to get in trouble. And if the teacher's laughing, everybody else laughs too. Sure. Right?

So you always win over the authority figure first. So I sort of feel like this falls under that category. Right? Like, you know, if you beat the shit out of me, but I'm laughing about it, it's like,

all right. Okay. All right. I'm not thrilled, but that was a good one. You got me. Made it outside edition. These guys, the outside edition is great. I will say right. I'm not thrilled, but that was a good one. You got me. Made an outside edition. These guys,

the outside edition is great. I will say this though. Like, like I don't know how you go to this church and these guys, when you watch this video, these guys are all like, Oh, need that money.

And they're like screaming and people like cheering. And they're talking about how they definitely need that. That, uh, I mean, he's talking about how he definitely needs this jet in the middle of the thing. And he's like, Jesus told me I need this jet. And everybody's just cheering for him. And I'm like, I don't know how you get there in your life to get to a point

where you're just like, where you hear somebody say this stuff and then you write a check to them. I think because in your mind, you've got to believe the next jet is yours. In your mind, it's not, maybe it's not this jet. That's got to be it. But it's the next jet. It's got to be it.

I'm going to win that big prosperity lottery. Yeah. No matter what, like eventually it's going to be you, but you got to, but just the law of averages, look around the room, count the suckers,

count the guy who's winning. Oh yeah. But that, that assumes these guys can count. That's true. Like, they clearly can't count their money, or they wouldn't be handing it to a guy who has a $54 million check. That's very true.

Are you listening, Al Gore? You do not need to worry about the planet being destroyed by floodwaters. Why? Because God has put his rainbow in the sky to let you and everybody else on planet Earth know, I'm never going to do that again. I did it once. It served its purpose. I'm not going to do it again. This is Brian Fisher.

We haven't had him on the show in a long time. Brian's been busy. Most of the stuff that he's been saying has just been so repetitive and so boring. A lot of First Amendment misunderstandings. A lot of personal beef with right wing watch. Yeah, but there's a lot of people who do that too. Pissy with them.

But here he goes. He's going to talk a little bit about climate change. Yeah, the solution to climate change is to repent for our sin, evidently. I didn't know that. So we're talking here about what our environmentalist friends would call extreme weather. Remember, they're saying everything's the fault of global warming to them.

We're going to have more droughts because of global warming. We're going to have more extreme weather because of global warming. That's going to happen when the climate shifts. As the climate shifts. Yeah. It's not we're going to.

Stop using that language. That language, you're right. We are having. Use present no, it's not we're not. Stop using that language. We are having. That language, you're right. It's future language. Yeah, we are having. Yeah, use present tense, not future tense. Or cyclones because of global warming. We're going to have more tornadoes because of global warming. And cyclones?

We're going to have more tornadoes and cyclones? I wonder if they're going to fight. Man, just shoot a cyclone. We get a cyclone gun to shoot at the tornadoes to slow them down. One goes the other direction. What if you accidentally, you put the spin on the wrong way and it speeds it up really fast? It opens like a wormhole. Oh, man.

I doubled up my cyclone. Or I doubled up my tornado. I don't even know. Your cyclone's in my tornado. Your tornado's in my cyclone. And so this is the kind of thing that Solomon is talking about here. Oh, yeah. Solomon's talking about global warming.

When his nation, when his people were affected by extreme weather events. And now what we discover here from Solomon's record is the problem is not global warming. The problem is the sin of man. And the sin of man, not pumping CO2 into the air, but the sin of man, as he goes on to say, is... Well, admittedly, some sin can pump CO2 into the air.

I just want to... I'm saying if the sin's any fun, kick some CO2 into the air. Is there some CO2 that gets expelled into the air? I love it in his mind, like these are mutually exclusive. Why couldn't one just be like, kick some CO2 into the air. Is there some CO2 that gets expelled into the air? Yeah. I love it in his mind like these are mutually exclusive. Right.

Why couldn't one just be like, yeah, and then the mechanism is the other. Like he's just, he's so fucking literal. Yeah. It's like,

wow, it can't be pumping CO2 in here. There's no way it could be this. No. Yeah. No. All right. I guess nothing has an effect

on the world at all. Just nothing. Nothing. You could do anything at all. Just nothing, nothing. You could do anything at all and nothing will be affected. I love that somehow we're talking about the sins of man, right? We're saying the sins of man are what powers global warming. Why didn't we burn to a cinder during the Holocaust? Like right now, we're more evil right now than we were, say, during, I don't know.

World War II. Yeah, like World War II, World War I. more evil right now than we were say during i don't know yeah like world war ii world war one other times like all of say slavery for instance we're more evil now than we were then yeah that's smart right well i yeah but there's probably more people having gay sex and talking about probably the same number of people having gay sex it But now people share stories online. It's not following the rules and the statutes of God. That's the sin. In time, the penalty for that sin is the heavens are shut up. There's no rain. There's a drought. Animals are dying. Crops are not growing. What's the solution? my people who are called by my name

in the face of this environmental catastrophe, the solution is not to go to Congress and get them to crack down on carbon emissions. That's not the solution. That's not the solution. We wouldn't want to crack. Look, here's the thing. We can do both. You can

have your crazy, fanciful, shitty worldview, and we can also crack down on have your crazy fanciful shitty worldview and we can also crack down on carbon emissions yeah what if one doesn't preclude

the other you know it's not like you gotta it's like well we can't pray and shut down on carbon emissions it's the only way

I can fuck this guy in the ass is if a lot of cows fart that's the only way I can get this done guys alright but you do not fart during this

that's weird actually no it's fine it's like an inny outy thing going on here I can feel this done, guys. All right, but you do not fart during this. That's weird. Actually, no, it's fine. It's like an Inny Outty thing going on here. I can feel it flapping. That's all right. The solution is to go before God on our faces and repent. Well, then he wouldn't even see who we were. And if God is going on your face, then I don't know.

Look, it sounds like he's into the gay stuff, too, if he's going to my beard. If I'm going to prostrate myself in front of God, I want the credit for it. You know what I mean? Exactly. Look, it sounds like he's into the gay stuff too, if he's going to my beard. If I'm going to prostrate myself in front of God, I want the credit for it. You know what I mean? Exactly. Like, please. And of our sin. That's what Solomon says.

And if we do that, if, he says, we humble ourselves and pray and seek God's face and turn from our wicked ways. So the wicked ways would say, be leaving the Paris Accords? Is that a wicked way or no? That's definitely, yeah. And cutting all international ties

with any reasonable hope of solving this problem at all. Such that like states in the union had to be like, all right, we'll just do it on our own. Can we just do this on our own? Can we just, all right, we got states' rights and we would like the right to not be on fire the wicked ways that cause the extreme weather the drought is caused by our wicked ways so you're not going to get back to healthy weather patterns until you repent of the sin and you got to go talk you got to go talk to a talking donkey too that's another thing

that has to happen is you have to go talk to a talking donkey. You have to bring your angel friends down to your city so they can get raped or rape someone. I'm not sure exactly what works. Don't you have to offer your daughter? Somebody has to turn- Lot's wife. Yeah. No, Lot.

Lot. Lot has to be like, don't rape the angels, rape my kids. Rape my kids. Take my wife, please. But don't worry, if one of them sees my balls later-

Yeah, then they can- then they'll go to hell. They'll go to hell if you see my nuts. Was that Noah or was that Lot? Whose nuts got so... I thought Noah's got his balls. It's such a confusing bunch of people.

I'm not quite sure. You know what? Here's the thing. None of that happened. Literally, not one of those things has ever happened. I think we just cleared it up.

I think we cleared it all up. It's so funny when people argue about the Bible. It cracks me up. It's like, well, that's not exactly what happened. You want to be like, let's just pause and reconsider. Yeah. You can rewrite that however you want. None of that happened.

You can't be right about what never happened. You know what we're going to do? We're going to make a shirt that just has the Bible on it and say none of that happened. Yes, absolutely. That's what we're going to do? We're going to make a shirt that just has a Bible on it and say none of that happened. Yes, absolutely. That's what's making the planet hotter. Yeah, but how are the ice caps melting? Because it keeps getting hotter.

But how is it getting hotter in the first place? Because human beings are using a lot of resources and producing fires and producing electricity and getting rid of water. This is not true at all.

This is true. No. Yeah, we're producing greenhouse gases and therefore the planet... No one else is doing this. Freaking aliens. This is amazing. This is Right Wing Watch. No one else is doing this. Freaking aliens. This is amazing. This is right wing watch.

This is a firefighter prophet, Mark Taylor. Hurricane Maria was created to generate refugees who will turn Florida blue. Now, this is not to be confused with those Puerto Ricans that turned blue from cardiac arrest. Jesus Christ. From not having access to medical care because we don't care about brown people blue people

for like a year after this blue lives matter you know don't you think that that whole like blue lives matter thing was vindicating

to the smurfs do you think that they were just finally like fucking finally finally like somebody recognizes the evils of Gargamel

that guy was trying to like put us in a fucking meat grinder and turn us into a smoothie or whatever exactly yeah that cat was his cat's name azrael azrael that's right gargamel and azrael yeah yeah azrael was the cat's name yeah that's kind of a cool cat name they were kind of badass names yeah actually gargamel and i didn't really like get it until like later that he was trying to eat those fucking guys yeah i don't remember the smurfs very much it wasn't a show that i watched i think a lot of And I didn't really get it until later that he was trying to eat those fucking guys. Yeah, I don't remember the Smurfs very much. It wasn't a show that I watched, I think, a lot of. What was your favorite childhood cartoon? My favorite childhood cartoon, I had two of them.

G.I. Joe and Transformers were my absolute favorites. Oh, my God. G.I. Joe cracks me up to like, have you seen it at all? Not recently, no. Not as an adult. They have these laser gun fights. Oh, and they miss everybody. All it is is like a stream of lasers

shooting through the air. Nobody gets anything. Granted, they don't hit anything. But I love the idea that the lasers go slow enough that you can see them going. Yeah, well. It's a laser. That's like all of the Star Wars movies, too.

Where you're just like, that's a laser. You wouldn't see it. Yeah, it cracks. You wouldn't see it. Makes me laugh every time. It's like, I saw that laser. The Lord talked to me about this.

He said, Mark, they're going to try and turn because California, I believe at some point will probably go red. What the fuck? The only way it's going to go red

is if it all lights on fire. California's going to go red. It'll be an orangish glow more than red. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That might be the goofiest fucking thing he red. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

That might be the goofiest fucking thing he's ever said. I know, right? Like this guy's full of the goof, but California going red is fucking hilarious. California, all of it.

But Orange County fell into the ocean. I just got to look. I just looked it up. Hillary Clinton got 8.7 million and Trump got 4.4 million. I mean, it could turn at any moment. At any moment.

It's on a razor's edge, Trump. It's on a razor's edge. God, two to one is not a clear margin of victory. Tell you what, if Trump, if those people wouldn't have voted for Jill Stein, Trump would have been in there. I believe it's already read, honestly. It was stolen.

That's the bottom line. They're stealing these elections, period. This is, I mean, you can go on and on about how they're doing this, but Florida and Texas are the next highest number of electoral college votes other than California. Right. What the Lord showed me is that-

Okay, wait. So is he saying that the Democrats want states to be blue? Like, is that a some kind of like revelation? Like we're like the Democrats here. Hear me out here. The Democrats want your vote. I heard the Lord told me the Democrats looking for large electoral wins.

You know, these guys who get their job by popularity contest. They want to be popular. They want to be Instagram famous. That's what they want. They want to be influencers. Instagram influencers. That there are,

there's a plan in place to try to steal Florida and Texas over to blue. Now, it's not coincidence that... That Democrats want votes. It's not coincidence. I can see that happening for both states. There are giant population centers in Texas,

which are already blue. Like when you look at the county maps in Texas, Texas is an interesting state because most of the major metropolitan areas are blue. And that would usually make a state turn blue. But because of the sheer size of Texas, the rural outnumbers the urban, and that's unusual. Right. But when you look at the, and this is a closer margin, 4.6 million for Trump, 3.8 million to Hillary Clinton. It's 800,000. Right. It's still a wide

margin. But if you zoom in on the electoral map, it, it's, yeah, you can just see like, like especially the Southern border of Mexico. That's interesting. Mexico is almost all a blue. And then the big centers, Houston, Dallas, for all the Fort Worth is still is pink. Fort Worth is pink by a little,

but Austin, San Antonio, El Paso, El Paso is really fucking blue. Yep. Like El Paso is like ridiculously blue. Austin, San Antonio, El Paso. El Paso's really fucking blue. Yep. Like El Paso's like- 70%. Ridiculously blue.

Austin, pretty blue, 65%. So you're talking about, and this is, I'm talking only specifically about this particular election, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton. I'm not talking about historic, anything, anything like that.

Florida's a very close margin. Florida was a couple hundred thousand votes or something like that. I want to say it was relatively small. So Florida's a close margin, but you're right. They're smart states. Although I thought for some reason, I thought Pennsylvania was closer to, I'm going to look it up. And Florida is interesting because the demographic of Florida, the reason it turns partially red is because it has that older people demographic. It's the old people. Yeah. So God, look how close that is.

Yeah, Pennsylvania. You know, like, yeah, it looks all red, right? And that's the illusion that they all try to show you is this giant illusion where if you look, if you just look at Texas,

if you just look at Pennsylvania and you look at those counties and you say, oh my God, it's all red. Holy shit, it's all red. But then you look at the numbers. The popular vote in Pennsylvania was 2.97 million for Trump, 2.92 million for Hillary. Yeah. That's not- Separated by 50,000. 50,000 votes. Yeah, nothing. There's nothing. You could flip

Pennsylvania. You could flip Florida. Without a lot of real, real, real effort. You could flip Pennsylvania. You could flip Florida. You know, without a lot of real, real, real effort, you could flip these places. And they should. And they should. And there's nothing wrong with trying to flip your state to your color. I literally don't even know what he's talking about.

That's the game. That's how you win. That's a thing that you have to win to get the job. Here's the thing, Mark Taylor, Patton6966 on Twitter. Here's the thing, Mark Taylor, Patton6966 on Twitter. Here's the thing, Mark. If you are for taking away all that bullshit that goes to electoral college,

we don't ever have to worry about red and blue states again. I'm perfectly happy with it because it's fuck Democrats more than it's fuck the Republicans. Right. Right after Trump got in, Texas got hit with Harvey, and we got hit with Irma. Probably the largest hurricane in history right there was Irma. Now, why am I bringing all this up?

Because, again, it was retaliation. Because I asked the Lord, I said, Lord, why did the enemy send this to Harvey to Texas and Irma to Florida? And he said, it was because we backed out of the Paris Climate Accord. Because the second Trump did that, he legitimized climate control

all over the world at that point because as America goes... No, everybody's laughing at us. Everybody's laughing at us. That's a ridiculous argument. Everybody is like, how the fuck are you that stupid? I don't even understand what he's saying the enemy he asked the he asked the lord why did the enemy let this happen and the lord said the enemy let this happen because we backed out of the paris accords yeah so satan sent

no because trump because trump backed out of him right right? As punishment for, or God did. No, because he asked God, why did you let the enemy send it? Oh, so the enemy did it. So he's saying that Satan sent hurricanes to Florida. To prove climate change? No, no, no. As retaliation, he said.

I can't, I can't. But doesn't Satan winter in Florida? That doesn't make any sense. Why would you send It's like a snowbird down there. He's driving his old car real slow. Motherfucker.

Get out of my way, Satan. He's got a huge like 88 Lincoln Continental. He doesn't have anywhere to go. White. It's got fucking beige interior. He's wearing he's wearing clam diggers

and flip flops. Motherfucker. The rest of the world follows pretty much. Right. And that was right after that that they sent those hurricanes and people can-

Wait, they? Is he still talking about the devil? The devil sent the hurricanes to Republican states because the Trump pulled out of the climate accords. Uh-huh. What did they do when he pulled out of the climate accords.

What did they do when he pulled out of Stormy Daniels? What did they send? Send her a check. The problem is they blinked. They missed the whole event. So did she. She called it the other day the worst 90 seconds of her life.

Admittedly, though, I know there's several women that could say the same thing about me. Trash me all they want to. Yes, we control the weather. A lot of times, guys, they can generate these storms. You know, all this stuff. I think he's shifted, though. Now he's saying that.. You can go to... Yeah, I think he's shifted, though. Now he's saying that... Now he was saying it was the enemy, but is the enemy the Democrats?

Oh, I don't know. Oh, it didn't even occur to me. Because I thought he shifted and was saying, like, look, it's people. No, but it's... Yeah. Okay. Trash me all they want to. Yes, we control the weather. A lot of times, guys, they can generate these storms. You know, all this stuff.

You can go to geoengineering watch.org and listen to a guy named Dane Wigington. He's got enough information on that website to keep you going for the next six months. I would rather end my own life than go to geoengineering. You know what we should do? What? We should get

George Rabbon to come and talk about geoengineering. We'll call it the to come and talk about Geo Engineering Watch. Geo on Geo. We'll call it the Geo on Geo show. Geo on geoengineeringwatch.org. We should get a, we should also get like a climate scientist on.

We could get Geo on Geo and have a climate, that'd be great. Find a climate scientist who would talk to us. I don't think there is one. I don't think there's one either. Period. And the proof to show it.

It was right after that, Chris. If you'll notice, right after the hurricane hit down in Puerto Rico and they had that big scandal with the mayor down there and they released all this stuff, they were trying to move a half a million Puerto Ricans into Florida as a humanitarian effort. It just gave me a break.

You could also call them Americans. You can call them Americans. But. You know, you can. You can. You can call them Americans. But I guess if you're just referring to people from their states, they're Puerto Ricans

moving in with Floridians, I guess is what we're saying. It's so funny that we almost never say it that way. No, no, no. But they're definitely always Puerto Ricans. Puerto Ricans can come

co-mingle with the Illinoisians. Oh, we don't have one of those words? Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. It was not a humanitarian effort, guys. That's why they were holding the food up.

That's why the mayor was holding the food up, so they could justify sending them to Florida. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

You want to take this? I actually, actually, so I had to write down an order of operations for all of this to be true. So here we go. Okay. I want to hear it. Number one, invent hurricane-making machine.

So that's number one. Number two, send hurricane to Texas for practice. That's number two. Number three, send a hurricane to Florida for profit? We're not sure. Oh, number four, actually. Oh, the real target was Puerto Rico because that was Irma.

Five, hit Puerto Rico with really bad hurricane. Six, go back in time and never really give Puerto Rico a solid infrastructure. Seven, send lots of aid and never give it to Puerto Rico. Eight, tell them it's like an Easter egg hunt for supplies and that you can go and stay in Florida if you find it. And then number nine, of course,

tell all Puerto Ricans that move here to vote blue. Right. Because that's what has to happen in order for all of that to be true. You know, what they're also missing, which I love, is like you can only move to Florida and vote if you're a citizen. Right. And you should already have the right to vote.

And Puerto Rico should already have the right to vote. They should be a state. Right. I don't know why we don't do that. They're grossly disenfranchised already. We do treat them like Mexicans. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what we're like. You're just Caribbean Mexicans. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're like. You're just Caribbean Mexican. That's what you are. You're like an island Mexican. Yeah, you're like an island Mexico. You're like a rum Mexican not a tequila Mexican.

You're like one of those many other island Mexicos. It's rum Mexican. You're a blow the man down Mexican. Not a, I don't even know. Lord. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic Stand down, Mexican. Not a, I don't even know. So, a little hard. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. God have mercy on your soul. I only want to talk about this story, Tom, because of the way he uses the periodic table. All right. This is again, Mark Taylor. Satan uses chemtrails to block God's frequency.

And I'm going to preface this by saying that Mark Taylor is going to say frequency so many times it will lose meaning. Everything in life gives off frequency. Okay. All right. Okay. I have no idea.

What does that even mean? I think we're just talking about BO at this point. Everything in life gives off. Just gives off. Everything is just giving off frequencies all the time. The clothes I'm wearing, you know, whatever. The carpet in the room, the trees, the grass. That's why the Bible

says when no one else will, the rocks will cry out to me. Because all of creation cries out. And in the Quran it says that if a Jew hides behind a rock, the rock will be like, here's the Jew! Hey guys! And then they can kill that Jew. Are you looking for free Jew?

It's almost like none of that's true. It's weird. Literally nothing he said was true. I already love it. I love that Carpet's giving off a frequency. What frequency does Carpet... Why do they think that there's a frequency given all... Also, what is the

frequency? Like how often you replace it? Like what's the frequency? Like what are we talking about? Well, most of the time it's just Kenneth. Okay. That's an REM joke, isn't it? It is. It's so bad.

To God and that frequency. They're actually worshiping. I believe it's actually worshiping God. Creation worships God. Creation itself. Yeah. Creation itself. I mean, you know, the trees, the rocks,

whatever the case may be, everything he's created because we're created to worship, you know? That's why Satan creates a new frequency to try to control us. To combat that, to block that, and to problem- What?

Satan creates a new- Do they all have this- Okay, you go. Well, I was just going to say, like, what are they- Okay, first off, I think we've reached the point where frequency doesn't mean anything.

I think this is where he's... His frequency has jumped the shark, so to speak. But what do we... Like, when we talk about frequency, you're talking about, like, an oscillation of some kind? Like, what are we talking about?

I am... Okay, the only thing I can imagine is like he's referring maybe to the fact that like all molecules vibrate, you know, like that in different phases of matter, molecules vibrate at a higher

or slower rate. Is he depocking us? And that like maybe that creates, but they would, in order for them to create a frequency, they would have to vibrate in a way that then

affects the air. I'm going to need you to stop. Is what I'm going to need. I need you to stop. I need you to stop. Never ever speak of this again. Problem is that once we come so far generationally, we've got so many things going on,

whether it's the foods we eat, the chemtrails, all the spraying. Oh my God. I love it when somebody just throws out a conspiracy theory willy-nilly. They're just like, you know, Bigfoot. I love when they just are like, believe in all of them just to cover my bases. I believe in every conspiracy theory. The food we eat that's conspiracy.

I love it. It's not even specific anymore just the food. That's the conspiracy. It's the food. Then the chemtrails. We all know it's not contrails it's chemtrails. I love the idea that somehow someone in charge is pollils, it's chemtrails. I love the idea that somehow someone in charge is polluting the air with chemtrails

and they're somehow not susceptible to the air. Like the thing that all of us need, you're polluting in some way to control people, but then you have to get out of the plane eventually. Is to detract us from hearing God's frequency. Because when you think about it, there's- Detract us, not distract us. Detract us.

But to detract us. Detract us from God's frequency. I've been detracted from it. Okay, keep talking, firefighter. Because when you think about it, they're spraying aluminum and barium in the chemtrails. And if you look on the periodic table, barium and aluminum,

barium is B-A, aluminum is A-L, spells B-A-L. Counterpoint, it also spells Elba. So, it makes us all think of Jessica Elba.

So, that's why they're spraying aluminum and barium. So I went to the periodic table today because I was like, this is amazing. This is amazing. And so here's a couple of chemical concoctions that I made. All right.

Leucian, carbon, iodine, fluorine, erybium. It's too many. Leucian, go LU. And then it's carbon iodine fluorine. Lucifer. You can spell Lucifer! So instead of doing

ball or whatever, you keep talking about your balls all the time. This guy's got a ball fetish even worse than the guys who get their nuts stepped on. Instead, you could just literally spell Lucifer. Because guess what? You're making up the chemicals anyway.

So you can just make it up. Here's another one for you, Tom. All right. Here's another one. All right. Iron, titanium, sulfur, hydrogen. Iron, F-E, titanium. F-E, fetish?

Fetish. And if you have an iron, titanium, sulfur, hydrogen, you can go to adamandeve.com. adamandeve.com has all kinds of things

to cater to any fetish you have. You're going to get a bunch of free DVDs. You're going to get something for him, her, a little special gift.

You're going to get free shipping, 50% off on almost any item. No more swing, but you could sit in your swing that you bought before and watch your hard copy DVDs, if you like.

You don't get Netflix and chill, but you can swing and DVD, I guess. All you have to do is go type in Gloria at checkout and you can feed the need for your fetish. I have one more for you, Tom. Bravo. This is a long one. Okay.

This is a long one. Here we go. I'm trying here. Molybendium, thorium, erybium, fluorine, uranium, carbon, potassium, erybium. No, I, no. Motherfucker. We, I had so much fun looking at the, looking at the periodic table and just being like, you could literally make anything. You can spell anything. You can make anything up. No coincidence.

Wow. No coincidence. That's deep. That's deep. That's no coincidence. Yeah. So when you look at this. Well, the thing I made up

then correlates to another made up thing. That's my favorite. But there's no coincidences. Like I would, like I would not buy this even if I thought there were chemtrails. And I wouldn't buy this even if I thought that he knew the chemtrails contained these two chemicals.

I wouldn't buy it if he knew Bale and Bale visited him on Wednesdays. Rick, we are literally walking antennas. Because we've been breathing the aluminum. We've been breathing the barium. It's saturated. That makes us antennas? I guess. I don't know.

That's not how it makes antennas happen. That's not. That makes us antennas? I guess. I don't know. That's not how makes antennas happen. That's not how makes antennas happen, Cecil! How many antennas are you like, that's a barium antenna? Or you're just sitting at home and you're like, honey, I can't tune the TV. Can you shoot more

barium around the room? I want to tune in the football game. We need to fill this whole room with barium and aluminum gases. You could hold an antenna and it won't matter. Yeah. Because you're not the rest of the parts.

That's what I love so much. It's like, let's say you were just an antenna you would just be just an antenna to rated all the foliage this is why you had the fires out there california was they said these these guys out there were saying these fires were literally exploding they couldn't control them that's why is because aluminum itself will burn at 1200 degrees aluminum doesn't burn that hot i just want you to know. All right, Terrence.

Bob in D.C., a Republican. Bob, what'd you think of last night's forum? I'm a big supporter of Donald Trump because he's outside of the Washington bureaucracy. And I'm also a huge fan of the squirrel that died on his head. All right, we're going to go on, move on from there. So I want to take a couple seconds here, Tom, on the show to talk a little bit about the Democratic primary that we're sort of coming into the season about. I want to talk to you about some of the stuff that we got recently, some of the messages we got, and then also invite people to follow us on to Patreon to hear the rest of what we're going to be talking about.

So we're going to start by talking about some of the messages that we've received. One of the things that happens during primary season is that people get real butt hurt real easily. Like that's just one of those things that happens. People have real thin skins. It's idealistic time. Yeah, people have real thin skins too.

They can't look at their candidate and think about any negatives. And one of the things that happened this week is i got into an argument with somebody on twitter about um barry sanders age we had mentioned i said barry sanders did barry sanders is running back from the lions running back barry sanders is still young he's still young man probably a very good running back if he were to come back in the league he probably wouldn't make it but i'm sure he's a better running back than i am. Bernie Sanders.

Bernie Sanders, different guy. Yep. Bernie Sanders is, well, Bernie Sanders is really old, it turns out. How old is he? So he's 78 now. If he took office, he'd be 79. He would finish his term at 82. How old do men usually live?

77, 76. That's not. So he's over the average lifespan of a male in the United States. And here's the thing. Like, I definitely don't think that age is a disqualifier in the sense that I, like, I don't think that he shouldn't be allowed to run. Like, I absolutely feel like, yeah, he should be able to run. Absolutely. But we, we make a decision on the young end of this and it's not because of physical ability, right? It's not because of that. It's not because of how strong they are,

physical ability, right? It's not because of that. It's not because of how strong they are because I guarantee, what's the cutoff age? 35 is the cutoff? So 35, I guarantee a 22-year-old is in better physical condition,

male 22-year-olds, probably better than the average 35-year-old. So it's not physical ability. It's age and wisdom and experience, right? So we say you can't be- It's a minimum threat. Yeah, you can't be a 30-year-old. You got to be a 35-year-old.

But we're talking about their mind here. We're not talking about their body. We're not talking about their physical ability. We're talking about their mind. Well, we've got to come to grips with the fact that when you get older, things start to go. That is just how things work. Now, can you be a whip-sm-year-old? Yes, you can.

You absolutely can. But the odds are no longer in your favor. That's number one. The odds aren't in your favor. You're past the actuarial table where you should have died already, right? So everything up from here, the percentages just go up. They don't go down when you're in that position. They never go down. It's not like they're going to continue to go down. So when people are upset about whether or not Bernie Sanders is too old, I will also point you to the fact that look at any young man that goes in there

and when they come out two years later, they look like they were in that machine in Princess Bride where they suck one year of your life away. Like these people look like they are absolutely run to the ringer. Like they look horrifying. They look, you know, look at Obama's pictures before and after office.

And so one of the people I was arguing with was saying, it's a desk job. It's the most stressful job in the world. It, it's a desk job. It's the most stressful job in the world. It's not just a desk job. You sound silly when you say it's just a desk job. It's the most stressful job in the world. I had a nowhere near as stressful as the President of the United States desk job that I worked a lot of hours for, for a lot of years. desk job that I worked a lot of hours for, for a lot of years. And it did not do good things for my body. I remember that time very clearly. I remember getting sick and not being able to get unsick for months and months at a time. For months. And you were a young man.

I was a young man. And I was a wreck. When you're working 14, 15, 16 hours a day all the time, Like when you're working, you know, 14, 15, 16 hours a day all the time, when you're under a lot of stress all the time, desk job or no, desk job does not help. Yeah. That means you're not getting up. You're not getting circulation. You're not getting exercise. You're not eating well. It's not a, it's not a. Good things are not happening in the machine.

And, and, and look, I don't care if other people vote for Bernie Sanders. No. I don't care what you do. I don't care what you do. I don't care what makes your decision process. I don't think he should be barred from running. I'm just telling you, I'm probably not voting for Bernie Sanders because he's going to be 82 when he steps down.

Chances, he's already lived past the average life expectancy. He and Biden are very close in age. There's no way I would vote for either one of them. Because I'm voting for them. Because I'm voting for their vice president. Right. That's who I'm voting for.

And here's the thing when it comes to vice presidents, I'm going to stop talking about Bernie Sanders after this. But when it comes to vice presidents, there's a chance, this happens frequently. Not, I mean, not all the time. I don't know how often it happens, but it's happened a couple of times in my lifetime where someone who lost the primary becomes somebody else's vice president. Why the fuck would I vote for a vice president if he's going to pick somebody from the 20 people

that are already in here? Why wouldn't I just fucking vote for that person? There's no reason to vote for a fucking vice president. But I want to point out that people do get a little butthurt when it comes to this I get it, right? You like your guy you don't want your guy to get anybody to say anything bad about your guy, right? I get it. I get it But I don't know a lot about what's going on in this primary I don't know what's gonna you know, there's a lot of people 20 people in this primary That's a lot of people So what we're gonna do is we're gonna take this this, we're going to talk about each one of these people. I'm going to read a little bit about who

they are. I'm going to give you their age, and then I'm going to read some of their positions because some of these people, they're hard to find things out about. So let's start out with Pete Buttigieg. So he's an American former Naval intelligence officer who has been the mayor of South Bend, Indiana since 2012. So not federal government experience, local government experience. He graduated from Harvard. And also, you know, we're talking about an intelligence officer for, you know, for the armed services. So when I think of intelligence officer, I think at least he's going to be taking briefings more seriously than Trump. Right.

He speaks eight Right. Yeah. You know, so speaks eight languages. Yeah. He's, there's a lot of things about this guy that are really, that's really interesting. So let me read a couple of his stances for you,

Tom. Climate change. He thinks climate change is a national security threat, supports the Paris climate accord. Economy supports labor, thinks NAFTA resulted in significant job losses. Foreign policy supports pulling troops out of Afghanistan. Healthcare supports single-payer system. And this is interesting.

He says he's all for single-payer healthcare system, but has said he wouldn't immediately jump to a single payer from the current system. Instead, he would first implement an all-payer rate setting, a system that would not eliminate private insurance companies. What does that mean, an all-payer rate setting? I don't know what that means. Oh, so everybody pays the same rate?

Everybody pays the same rate. That would be interesting because there's a lot of finagling going on, right? There's a contract for Aetna that's different than the contract for Blue Cross. Well, yeah, it's one price for all the medical procedures are just one price across the board.

And you know, they're more expensive if you don't have insurance and you pay cash. Yeah. That's crazy. Well, can't you negotiate, though, if you have cash, too?

Isn't there a way, like I've heard people say that they can negotiate, you can actually negotiate. Some, if they are willing to. It's like any other negotiation. Yeah. You got to be good at negotiating

to get a good deal. Yeah. Immigration supports a pathway to citizenship for undocumented immigrants and supports a federal non-discrimination amendment. This federal non-discrimination amendment would be for LGBTQ people.

Nice. Which is, again, What he is. when you come across somebody who is LGBTQ, they're going to be fighting for those rights more than anybody else is. Okay, you know, that should be true. But so many LGBTQ people on the Republican side pretend that they're not. I guess that's true.

And they fight against those issues until they get caught. I guess that's true. What is your impressions with Buttigieg? So I read an article about him recently, and I did not have real high impressions of him until I read this article. I'm still not sure I want him as president. Right. I think he's a genuinely impressive human being.

Yeah. I think the work that he's done in South Bend has been, by and large, really forward-thinking. Really forward-thinking. It's got a population of about 102,000 people. So it's a small, medium-sized kind of city-ish thing, you know?

He's clearly very, very, very smart. Like he's just clearly very, and I'm, I'm pro just that. Yeah, I know. I know. You know what I mean?

Me too. Like there's just that raw. He doesn't have any of that federal government experience, right? Nope, none of it. And you know, his website doesn't have any policy positions. It doesn't have any policy positions.

I had to search for this. One of the things I was going to do was go to the policy pages of each one of these people. But then I realized I could go find this. This is a PBS article I'll link to in the show notes. But this is a PBS article and they list several of his policies.

I would expect a lot of these people to have I don't agree with Trump on immigration, right? Like, I think that that's an easy thing for these people to come across as. Right now, the press is picking out little stuff. They're picking out little things that make them different from the other candidates and they're running with them.

And this week, somebody was exasperated with me because I had said that they only had one policy. I was being, I wasn't saying had said that they only had one policy. I was being, I wasn't saying that literally that they only had one policy, but I was saying that they're sort of pimping one policy right now. They're showcasing one. And the person came and said they were exasperated with me that I was so stupid that I didn't know that they had all these other policies. Well, I know they have all these other policies. The media doesn't choose these policies. The media isn't choosing which policy to go. These people hire marketers to market the best

policy for them to feed press releases out to the press. It isn't the other way around. It's them feeding press releases out. You're sending me exasperated letters like I'm an idiot. You don't even know how it works. What do you think of Buttigieg? You know, I want to hear what he has to say in conjunction with someone else. There was a negative thing that I heard about him that he was sort of buddying up to Gwyneth Paltrow. And I was like, oh, that's a huge negative for me. If he's going to go the new wave route, he's right out. He's right out. And, you know, there's a couple other things too, like we're going to Elizabeth Warren later, but there was something she said about GMOs

that really turned me off too. And I'm just like, don't do this. Don't try to reach outside of your area of expertise right now. You know, don't try to be a foreign policy expert if you're not right now. It's okay to have somebody else who handles that stuff for you, you know? Be smart expert if you're not right now. It's okay to have somebody else who handles that stuff for you.

Be smart about what you're real smart about. My worry with Buttigieg is he's got the intelligence and he's got the ambition, but he doesn't have the experience or the specificity. Yeah, yeah. No, that's a great analysis. And I think that's going to be really interesting to see where it goes from here.

I know that he's gotten a lot of real interesting ground support early. Yeah. And his name has gotten out there. So he's got really good PR people that are getting his name everywhere. He does not have a lot of support among the black and Hispanic community at all. Yeah. So that he's not playing well. Yeah,

not playing well there. And I don't know that he's going to have a lot of support in the black community as an LGBTQ guy. Same with the Hispanic community. We know traditionally that the black community is not receptive. I know that they're not receptive

to LGBTQ. So you're going to run into some real problems. I think it would be a very difficult candidacy. Yep. So if you're interested

in hearing more about all the other 19 candidates, you can go visit us on patreon.com. There's going to be a patron extra here for patrons.

And you can hear the rest of all of the 19 candidates there. So we want to thank our patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank our newest patrons, Laurel, Sebastian, Charlotte, John, Lana, Mateusz, Mateusz, Z? There's a Z.

Mateusz! Tony and James, thanks so very much for your generous donations. We really do appreciate it. Got a message from Sterling, and Sterling let us know that on Audible, there is the full Mueller report is available in audiobook format for free, I guess? That's impressive, but can you imagine being the guy who had to read it? Yeah. free, I guess. That's impressive. But can you imagine being the guy who had to read it? Yeah.

Like, I got a great job for you. Oh, I get to narrate a book. That's awesome. It's my favorite. It's the Mueller Report. But in any case, we will post a link to this. Sterling, thank you for sending it in. We got an image from Aaron,

and it's a great throwback 50s movie poster that features a current administration and it's very, very funny. So check it out. It's on this week's show notes. This is episode 469. This is crazy. Tom, we got a message about the Israeli elections from Michael. Yeah, this is nuts. Like I guess in Israel, you can win an election and not become the prime minister. So the election is for seats in the parliament. And then after the election,

the parliament votes for the prime minister. So, I don't know how that works. So you can win a plurality in the parliament, but you can't,

if you can't secure a supporting majority in the parliament, you can win the election but won't be the prime minister. I don't really understand that. I don't get it either. That's crazy. Your country is crazy. We got a message from Christine and Christine was letting us know that you probably don't want to keep dentures in your pocket.

Not only would you be, you know, first off, it's a lot, it's a, it's a lot of money to have dentures, fitted dentures, but dentures are built. This is from are built, this is from the email directly, dentures are built with a polymer material that must remain wet at all times and dry. If it dries out, dentures will degrade and can snap very easily. And since this is part of degradation, it includes pitting on the surface of

the denture. It creates a perfect place for bacteria to collect and grow. Dentures do not sound like a good place in your pocket. It sounds like you want to put them in a thing and then maybe in your pocket, but definitely not in your pocket. We got a YouTube video. This is from Josh,

and he sent in a YouTube video, this fucking idiot who thinks his Bible's leaking oil. We're going to post it on this week's show notes. 469. Go check it out. I mean, it literally looks like somebody spilled canola on their Bible. Watch it just for the beard.

Right. Oh, yeah. Watch it just for the beard. The beard's amazing. The beard is amazing. We got a message from Aaron again. He sent us, Baby Shark is a death metal song. We're going to post this video on this week's show notes. Listen to as much or as little of it as you'd like. I like this idea. Yeah, this is a great idea.

Tom, we got a message from Marshall. Marshall says he plans to pledge $5, donate $5 to Planned Parenthood every time he sees an anti-choice protest out in front of his clinic. So far, he's donated $15 to Planned Parenthood, and he's challenging anybody out there, if you see a protest happening

at a Planned Parenthood facility, go ahead and donate. Make a donation. Pick a dollar amount, donate, and then every time you see it, that's a reinforcement for you to remind you

to donate to that organization to help that organization out. And if you don't have any money, what you can also do is go up and get the name

of any one of the protesters that's there and then go get somebody pregnant and when you abort it, name it after the person that was protesting.

Just so you know, be like, here we go. I'm going to abort Mark. That's who I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to get you pregnant. I'm going to name it Mark.

And then we're going to abort it in honor of that protester. And then when you meet that protester, you're going to be like, I named my abortion after you. Definitely get your ultrasound first and show him, show him the baby you could have named after him. I'd be like, I named my abortion after you, Mark. Show him the ultrasound

and be like, do you see anything? Yeah, exactly, fucker! Alright, well that is going to wrap it up for this week. We'll be back next week, but before we leave we're going to leave you like we always do with The Skeptic's Creed. leave we're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double

bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive.

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