Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 48: I Made You This Drought

Episode Date: May 19, 2012

Female Genital Mutilation might be illegal, but it still takes place in the UK Four Iranian men sentenced to death by hanging for sodomy JC Penney Features Same-Sex Couple in May Catalogue Church sues woman for $500,000 after negative Google review Faith healers’ found not guilty on second degree murder charges How Prayer Ended the Drought in Texas and Stopped the BP Oil Spill Paul Cameron suggests Obama is gay, demands gays be imprisoned before they rape kids Cops: Pastor Hid Cameras In Church Bathroom Beginning clip: Christopher Hitchens Clips: Jesus Camp, Allahu Akbar, Ellen vs 1,000,000 Moms, Three Stooges, Right Wing Watch on Prayer in Texas, The Simpsons A Few Good Men. Visit our Website at http://dissonancepod.com for all the links.

Do you want to get cognitive dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at stitcher.com. There are things that no morally normal person would think of doing if it wasn't that they believed in religion or in divine instruction. Take a transcendent experience that I'm sure a lot of you have had. I've had three times. Hold a newborn baby in your hand. I'm a pretty leathery old cynic this must be a real to you all nonetheless if

you're ever going to feel that a little miracle has occurred in your life that the free gift has been given by nature by the it's probably the moment likeliest to feel it also means you absolutely know by the way you're going to die and that you have to in order to make way interesting Interesting point. I'm quite resigned to my own death because I know my children don't want me to live forever. And I have to get out of the way. That's just the way it is. And I also make, I also highly resolve, I want them to be at my funeral. I don't want to be at theirs. Now I know what I'm doing. So here's this bundle. Look at the little indentations and the earlobes. It's impressed with the chambers my funeral i didn't want to be embarrassed now i know what i'm doing so here's this bundle

look at the little indentations and the ear lobes it's impressed with the chambers and all that and then you should be getting on with parenting but no first let's find a sharp stone or a knife and start hacking at the genitalia because after it turns out the design isn't that great. And in a crucial feature, too. It needs to be sworn away. A lot of it needs to be sworn away. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance.

Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome, Matt. And I really mean it this time because we actually do not have a guest. And you're not going to welcome Matt at this point. And I am not welcoming Matt with our welcome, Matt. This is episode 48 of Cognitive Dissonance, the episode that almost wasn't. Cecil records this show from his office in downtown Chicago, which is where the NATO summit is happening this weekend. So they have the whole city on fucking lockdown.

It's fucking amazing. They totally do. And the other buildings downtown, there's people standing out like with fucking posted guards i i kind of hope that in the end it's like 25 people walk by with pickets holding hands like that's what i hope happens but i don't know what i mean i don't know they actually took the fucking bike racks out from downtown because they were afraid that fucking ne'er-do-wells were gonna throw them through windows we can take our bike racks but you'll never take our freedom we lord we just asked it to be covered with the blood of jesus open hearts lord open hearts female genital mutilation might be illegal but it still takes place in the uk this story is awful

it's awful and it's particularly Cecil, because it has a picture that accompanies the story. What is that? Some fucking medieval torture device looking shit. It's Exhibit E7 of the prosecution. It also does not look ribbed for her pleasure. It is definitely not a French tickler. That, I mean, you know, these Although with one of these

you could probably hit the G spot. I'm looking at one of these right now and I guarantee you could hit the G spot with one of those. Old curvy there? Old Gonzo? Old McGonzo there? Yeah, absolutely. You could fucking really roll it right in there. Now, I don't profess to be

an expert on anatomy, but I doubt that these tools are really necessary for the horrific, horrific job. Who manufactures these specific tools? Can you imagine going into the female genital mutilation shop? You're just like, what do you have

in the way of something to really damage a woman? I mean, really just something awful, something horrifying, something to just like, yeah, we've got these clitoris removers here in aisle seven. Oh, no. Do you have anything that's barbed with razor wire and spring-loaded? Do you have anything with those three attributes? Because it really looks like the top one looks like one of those jacks you throw down when you're playing fucking jacks as a kid.

Except for much larger and it goes somewhere else that you don't want it to go. It's either that or these are custom made, right? You know, that there's somebody who's like, oh, only the finest custom made female genital mutilation equipment available. I actually think it's more like you know like the made for TV sham wow sort of sale like heck no $29.95 will get you the gonzo we'll throw in not one but two

like wait that's awful I don't need two there's no reason I'm going to take good care of this one so I'm going to be fine wait this is the general mutilation thing you know this only comes from a mystical religious world view So I'm going to be fine. Wait, this is the genital mutilation thing. You know, this is only comes from like a mystical religious worldview because there's no rational reason to cut off your fucking genitalia. There just doesn't fucking exist.

So this sort of thing happening is is is based on religion. And one of the things, too, is that the place that's actually against it is the Daughters of Eve. Why are they choosing a religious way to battle it? I have no idea why you would want to decide that you are a Daughter of Eve when it's the religious nuts that are. Yeah, why don't you just be the Daughters of We Still Have our clitorises, for example. Why is this happening in the UK? That's the thing that is. What's particularly egregious to me about this is this is happening in not some international backwater of the world. But this is happening in the fucking UK.

This is such a grossly unacceptable practice to have something like this happen to just maim these girls you know like oh well yeah we want to make sure that you i mean here in the states i'm sure that it's happening to to some degree as well it's just not reported in this particular article. But, you know, there's there's the shame that's done by religious organizations that try to make women feel ashamed of their sexuality, ashamed of their bodies. But to actually take that a step further and just be like, whoa, whoa, maybe the indoctrination won't work. So we'll just cut that shit off.'s horrifying yeah and this is this is done by prudish peoples to uh to make sure that women don't enjoy sex right to stop them from having sex

before specifically before they get married right before you and it's not before they get married it's before you give them away to some dude. Because even in most cultures where this sort of thing is popular, that's how it's done. It's, hey, I want your daughter. Oh, cool. I happen to have a daughter. Do you have a money or a fucking basket or a fucking, you know, a fucking handful of snakes and a trainer? Where can I get a handful of snakes if only I had a daughter yeah but the thing is is like you know maybe it's a

cultural context right I said earlier that it can only be done in a religious context but it can be a cultural context but again it's such a backwards fucking cultural concept I don't even buy cultural relativism on this bullshit where you're just like, you know, oh, you can't, you've got to respect all kinds of cultures and cultural beliefs. No, you don't. You don't have to respect the ones that damage people. You don't have to respect those. And I do tend to think that

has to come from some basis in fucking witch doctory or fucking or religion or some of that shit it's got to be laced in there two things first of all if you want to make sure your women don't enjoy sex just let me have sex with them I'll take care you know yeah no woman ever enjoys it when I but it's terrible but it's seriously like how much are these women

gonna enjoy sex anyway when their husbands are part of a culture that clearly doesn't respect or, you know. Sure. It doesn't like women or women's sexuality. Like you're not really going to be, you know, getting in and doing that thing. Right. So it's what the fuck. But you look at something like this and you think, what is what is an analog? You know, what if we weren't removing genitals? What if we were saying, oh, well, we're just going to pluck the eye. We're going to pluck the left eye out of every girl.

Sure. Cut off their hand. That would be, oh, that's ridiculous. Who would do such a thing? that they can get away with it is because you know, these cultures have such, as you pointed out, prudish, ridiculous unnecessary sensibilities about sex, sexuality and specifically women's sexuality. You know, if it was any other

body part, it wouldn't even be a conversation. You wouldn't, there would be no defenders of, we pluck out the left eye of every girl within our culture. There's no defender of that. And we genuinely, I mean, we mut out the left eye of every girl within our culture. There's no defender of that. And we – I mean we mutilate the genitals of a ton of males in this country. We constantly mutilate them.

I don't know about constantly mutilate them at some point. Yeah, I mean I eventually just get a stop. Please stop mutilating my genitals. Please stop. They're like 10. It's like, oh, I haven't been able to sit down for years. But, like, the idea is that when you do it to a woman, you absolutely, like, remove all pleasure from the sexual experience. As a dude, I have a circumcision.

The old junkular region has been circumcised on me when I was a little wee tot. And as it stands right now, I can still have sexual pleasure. But women don't have that. It's not the same thing. When they get it done, it's fucking way more severe than when males get it done. So it's way worse. I mean, I understand that I'm lessening my sexual pleasure because I have, I have been circumcised, but yeah, I mean, come on. Yeah. I can still, I can still,

you know, produce. Yeah. I, I, it was the norm, I think for everybody. I mean, for, for most males in our generation, you know, in the States, you know, I'm circumcised as well, but it doesn't, males in our generation, you know, in the States, you know, I'm circumcised as well, but it doesn't, you know, I don't feel less than because they didn't fucking cut my dick off. You know, they didn't cut the glands of my penis off. You know, I still got the junk. It's just different than it was when I was born. They're lopping the tip off of that thing.

It's just like, hey, you know, we're going to clip it like a fingernail. This is... You know, we're going to clip it like a fingernail. This is. So this next story is from LGBTQ Nation. Nation. Nation. I like it. I cannot speak. Speaking is from LGBTQ Nation. Nation. Nation. I like it. I cannot speak.

Speaking is not a thing for me. Four Iranian men sentenced to death by hanging for sodomy. That seems impossible to me. Why would that be impossible? Well, I remember when that nut hut, what was his name? Ahmadinejad. Ahmadinejad. Yeah, he came to the States and they asked him about homosexuality in Iran.

And he said, there is no homosexual in Iran. Iran is homosexual free. So it strikes me as odd that they would be hanging four of them. Well, hold on now. Okay, I think I can explain this. Okay. My house is very similar to Iran. Okay.

My house is very similar to Iran. But instead of it being a homosexual-free zone, my house is a cupcake-free zone. Whenever cupcakes come into my house, they are immediately destroyed. They are immediately taken out, completely taken out. So my house is technically a cupcake-free zone. However, there have been cupcakes in my house. I see. Do you see how, you know, basically. Right, right.

So, but you know, these cupcakes. First of all, I've been to your home. I've been offered very few cupcakes. Admittedly, because they're gone. So we're going to have to talk about this all day. They're gone immediately as soon as they come in. It's like a revolving very few cupcakes. Yeah, admittedly. So we're going to have to talk about this all day. They're gone immediately as soon as they come in. It's like a revolving door for cupcakes.

For fuck's sake, you're hanging them for being gay? You don't want to talk about cupcakes anymore? No, man. What am I? You know, you fucking vanquish those cupcakes. I never get a cupcake. I fucking damage those cupcakes. That's all I'm saying. I laid the hurt on them.

No, I don't understand, you know, a country where you're so afraid of homosexuality that you're just going to murder somebody. I mean, that's so outrageous. It's almost that you cannot believe it happens. You know what? I can understand not believing it happens because from the article, quote, although being gay is not a crime based on Iranian criminal law, but this is the most clear statement against same-sex acts in past months. It's not a crime? It's not a crime? What would happen to you if you committed a crime?

Jeez. What would you do? What do they do if they fucking hang you? Genital mutilation. For having the sexy times with a dude? Genital mutilation. That's in the UK. You know what?

I guess I wonder, too. Like, what do you – I was just on my way to the store. Oh, well, they hung you. You know, like nothing – if certain things aren't a crime, you're just like, well, I was standing outside smoking a cigarette. Well, they hung you for that. It's just random acts that are not – they just – they're not crimes, but they're just – they're worthy of a hanging. And that's the problem. What was the other nation we were talking about a few weeks ago that didn't even have?

It was Egypt, right? Was it Egypt that didn't even have? It was Egypt, right? Was it Egypt that didn't even have a written set of laws? Do you remember that? No, it was Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia didn't even have a written set of laws. It's just like, yeah, we'll just figure that out. We'll just wing it. We're going to wing it.

They're winging it, and these four dudes are dead. These guys wish they had wings, actually, when they dropped. No shit. Because then they could hover at least for a moment before they died. How do you go to court and appeal your conviction? While you've been convicted, we're going to hang you. For what? Well, sodomy.

Well, it's not against the law. Listen, we're just going to hang you. I don't know what to tell you. We're just really, we're hankering for a hang in here. What a brutal fucking pitcher, too, huh? Oh, it's terrible. Oh, man. I don't know what to tell you. We're just really, we're hankering for a hang in here. What a brutal fucking picture, too, huh? Oh, it's terrible. Oh, man. That's not a safe.

Don't click on this link if you don't want to see people that have been hung. Yeah. And if you do want to see people that have been hung, examine your motives. What the fuck? I would like to read just a few comments from the Million Moms Facebook page. This is on their page. And not that there's anyone counting, but for a group that calls themselves the Million Moms, they only have 40,000 members on their page. So they're rounding to the nearest million,

and I get that. So although Iran is hanging same-sex couples, they would be much better off being in the JCPenney catalog. Be alive, at least. Segwayed. This is from ABC News. JCPenney features same-sex couple in May catalog. And I know that the million moms who are nearly one million moms short of that number, by the way. They've not yet reached their goal of one million. They're still short over 900,000.

Yeah, they need a lot more moms. They need many, many more moms. They're a little upset about it. It is, to be fair, after clicking from the story of the four men hanged for homosexuality, to click away from that picture and to see a picture of two smiling women with their arms around each other and what appears to be their child and to get fucking outraged about that. Yeah. I mean, you're just doing your life wrong. Oh, I know. I know.

Your sense of moral outrage is in the wrong spot. You should be outraged that people are dying because they're just expressing the sexuality that they were born with. And in this case, I really think that this is a great image. think that this is a great image. I do want to say, though, and we have in the past said that, you know, places that are LGBT friendly, you know, you should go there because, you know, they're looking to make money off of off of off of existing. And, you know, they're not going to get any money from the moms, the million of moms that are like forty six moms that are fucking banging away on their computer. They're not going to get any money from those people or the people that those people convince.

So, you know, we should support these things. But clearly, clearly, clearly, this is an advertising ploy. I mean, let's not forget that this is an advertising ploy. They are looking for, and they even say it in here, they're looking for to change their customer base to a more progressive group. They've lost a lot of money in the past past and they're looking to get with people that are more progressive. So, you know, this is we're not missing that point. I just want to let people know that we're not missing the fact that JCPenney is trying

to market to people that would be LGBT friendly. But I do think that it's a great step in the right direction and it's something that has to happen. I'm sure that the first magazine that put out a black and a white person in the hugging or something on the magazine cover

or inside the magazine got a lot of shit for it. And they were probably trying to reach the younger generation back then. But now it's a commonplace and it's got to start somewhere. And if it starts in ads, great. It starts in ads. One of the things that's interesting about this is that when Ellen DeGeneres came out, you know, it says right in the article when she came out. Yeah.

You know, JCPenney was one of the advertisers that pulled out of her, you know, pulled out from from advertising on her show. But this is how cultures change. Absolutely. And this is a sign of a change in your culture. And this is a positive thing. And it just feels good. I mean, it fucking feels good to click over from that fucking horror show in Iran. Yeah.

And to click over to this thing and to be like, wow. I hate to shop for things but it makes me want to go to jc penny and just buy a thing absolutely yeah you know just to be like good you know change change make it in everybody's face i mean advertising if you you can't you can't go anywhere without being bombarded by advertising you know i think it's a great way to uh to spread the message that you that we're not going to put up with this shit. And there had to be a day when that didn't exist. And now there's a day where it did exist.

There has to be that transitional period. Yeah, and I think they did the right thing here, putting lesbians in the JCPenney catalog. Because I don't know about you as a kid, but I would definitely take the Sears or the JCPenney catalog. And you don't really have any access to anything else. You just examine your circumcision. It's the, yeah, exactly. Examine it very closely.

And you turn to the lingerie section and be like, hmm, what's going on back here in the bra section? Thank you, JCPenney. You devil you. Do you solemnly swear to tell truth all truth and nothing but the truth? Why don't you answer him? You devil, you. So this next story is from The Raw Story. Should cook one of these. Church sues woman for $500,000 after negative Google review.

That's insane. How could she have done $500,000 worth of damage? You know, our whole internet culture is based on reviews. I don't know about you, Cecil. I don't, I don't buy anything anymore without checking out reviews. Right. Anything. I review, I mean, like, my wife makes fun of me because I will review, I will read reviews of fucking, if I'm spending $20, like, my wife makes fun of me because I will read reviews of fucking,

if I'm spending $20, let's read reviews first. I'm not sure. We can't make this impulse buy without reading reviews. I don't see any reason why churches can't get reviewed and then sue for a half a million dollars. How many people read her review? How much tithing do they really think they lost? Yeah. $500,000.

You were a churchgoer, right, Cecil, when you were a kid? Yeah, when I was a kid, yeah. I remember my dad went to church, and he would tithe, and they would pass the plate, and he put $10 in the plate. So that's $40 a week, if my math is right. You went to church four times a week? Oh no, I went to church twice a week. So that'd be $20. You're bad at math. Sorry, I can't

do the maths. No, but still, okay, $20 a week. $20 a week? Even if it's just like you convinced one parishioner to go away. How many years? That's like a fucking – like that's from the beginning of time until now.

Right. It's like, well, it's 6,000 years. That's like we could have dinosaurs live and die within that time span. Yeah. You know, we don't have the same rules here in the states that they do in other countries with libel laws and whatever. You can fucking start a blog and be like, this church sucks. You're allowed to do that. You don't have to read the blog.

People don't have to listen to you. But you have the right to say, this church sucks. And I hope the judge finds these people for bringing up a frivolous lawsuit. I do, too. That would be spectacular. That would be awesome. Because it's really just egregious. What about turning the other cheek?

Yeah. Well, you didn't turn the other cheek. You filed a 54 page defamation suit. Yeah. The only people that get mad when you call them a cult are cults, okay? That's the only people who get mad because everybody else is like, we're not a cult. That's stupid. But if you're a real cult, you're like,

did you just call us a cult? I'm going to sue you. I'm going to sue the fuck out of you. You know what I mean? Like they're fucking boiling. You're going to get their blood boiling by fucking calling a spade a spade. All right, wait. Hang on.

I'm going to test this theory you've got. Cecil, your home is a cult. That's it. I'm suing you. Your family is a cult. I'm suing you. I'm hiring a lawyer to sue you for $500,000. So we're going to take a break.

We're going to give you all the information that you need to find us on Facebook, to find us on Twitter, on Google, to leave us Google voicemail. Although nobody does that. Yeah, nobody actually leaves us Google voicemail. We still give you the number every week. We do. We give it every time. Nobody calls us. I think they're afraid to hear their voice or they're actually, I think more importantly, afraid to get Google

Translated. I don't know why Google Translate does such an excellent job. Does not actually do an excellent job. We'll return in just a few minutes if Cecil doesn't get his home or his office rather raided by NATO protesters. He'll be fucking helicoptering it. I can hear the glass breaking in the background as people fucking swoop in. Oh god, here they come!

Oh, they're going to circumcise you again. I don't want that to happen. I don't have anything really to give anymore. I already gave. I gave at the office. Fuck. No thanks. All of your foreskin are belong to us. You can email these assholes at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com.

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So this story is from krem.com. Krem. Faith healers found not guilty on second degree murder charges. A jury found an Okanagawan county couple not guilty of second degree murder. Their son, their 17 year old-old son's appendix burst. Oh. Which they prayed about. Sure.

You know. And then he died because his appendix burst. Isn't that thing filled with, like, all kinds of nasty, too? And when it blows up, it just fucking makes you septic? I think the appendix, i'm no i'm no medical professional but i think that's just like a time bomb of hate inside your body it's a time bomb of vestigial hate right it's just like hey you know what maybe i'll do yeah blow up and kill you you know i'm totally useless did you know that the only use i have is killing you right

you could do without me no problem problem. But if I blow up, you're gonna die! Yeah, if I could take you with me, motherfucker. I'm useless, now you're useless, motherfucker. It's like, wait, but will it hurt? Oh, yeah. Oh, God, yeah, it's gonna hurt. Yeah, it's gonna hurt real bad, too. You're gonna die so bad.

Man, that's a good deal. The appendix is a good deal. That's proof of intelligent design. Yeah, right there. Yeah. That's you want to have a time bomb in your gut. And these people are praying over their son. It says, too, this is another group. It says they belong to the church of the firstborn.

You said change it to the church of the secondborn. I say change it to the church of the empty nesters. That's what I change it to. Oh, my God. You may as well call Jack Bauer when that thing blows up. Where's the bomb? Sorry, I had to go back to that Jack Bauer joke. I don't know how you find him not guilty.

How do you find somebody not guilty? Here's how you find him not guilty. If the faith worked. Right. You know, but it didn't work god came down with a fucking magic fucking prayer vacuum cleaner and sucked fucking appendix out of him and then he's fucking fine after that yeah then that would work but it's not it's fucking clear neglect it is clear neglect you would not if somebody was if a child died of starvation you would not take those

people to court and then they say well you know you didn't feed your kid food and be like well i fucking prayed about it i fucking prayed motherfucker and they'd be like oh fucking get the cuffs off of them send those fuckers back out into the world wouldn't fucking happen same thing if you beat your kid to death And they'd be like oh you beat your kid to death I was fucking praying the whole time Oh cool Let him go

Any other kind of abuse Any other kind of neglect We will fucking send you to pound me in the ass prison But you know take a moment To fucking pray instead of Dialing 911 Which you can do both at the to fucking pray instead of take fucking dialing 9-1-1 which you can do both at the same fucking time no it's fucking cool we'll let him out send him back to church at first born can you imagine that your appendix burst you're like oh god that is really

hurting mom can we i'm not kidding oh this is real bad actually quite yeah quite painful yeah we'll just we'll go ahead and pray about that. You probably got a bad case of not praying enough. That's probably what you have. God will take his fucking spirit, Flobie, and cram it up your ass and suck out all the demons. And you'll be just fine. Or that won't happen because it's not real. And you'll die horribly.

What if a kid cut his fucking leg off? And they're like, oh, well, we gave him some Imodium, but he didn't pull through. You know, like, you're fucking... We cauterized it with love. We put a tourniquet of faith on there. It's fucking gushy. Oh, yeah. That's fucking the blood of the holy right there.

You know, when I fall and get hurt, sometimes I'll still reflect and be like, Jesus Christ. You know, that's not praying. That didn't help. Right, right. Not guilty. Not guilty. Where is this at? Washington.

Yeah. Take a clue from Oregon. I'm going to say fucking guilty. Church is this at? Washington. Take a clue from Oregon. I'm going to say fucking guilty. Church of the Firstborn. Because you have to give your firstborn. They're all like fucking playing at Abraham, like sacrificing their fucking kids. There's not going to be a second generation in the Church of the Firstborn, okay? Just not going to happen.

You've got a terrible long-term business model. Yeah. Really? It's just not going to happen. You've got a terrible long-term business model. Yeah. Really? Although I have to say if you survive, you're fucking made of some robust material. You are because, I mean, you know, how many kids go through one real traumatic thing in their life?

Probably many really traumatic things. I know when I was a kid, I was fucking falling the fuck down everywhere getting stitches. Like I got fucking stitches five or six times when I was a kid, I was fucking falling the fuck down everywhere getting stitches. Like, I got fucking stitches five or six times when I was a kid. Because I was just a fucking klutzy kid. And I'd fucking smack my fucking head off something. And I'd have to go to the emergency room.

That explains so much. It really does, turns out. But, you know, I'd fucking wind up with stitches. But, you know, those are for, you know, I think those are really made to make parents feel better than anything else because I think it will probably close up mostly on its own unless it's like fucking 45 stitches or something. That's why I use super glue. Oh, yeah. I just wrap the kid's head in a fucking towel.

I don't fucking deal with it. I'll take the towel off later. I use super prayer. Yeah, super prayer doesn't work it turns out. That's the church of the firstborn. But I use super prayer. Super prayer doesn't work. Turns out that's the church of the first born. But, you know, you know, how many kids have one or two or three traumas growing up? They have to go to the emergency room for. I mean, I don't know how many times your kids gone to the emergency room.

But I know when I was a kid and I was probably your son's age, I had probably been in the emergency room four or five times. We have a standing reservation. We just show up. They're like, oh, it's you guys again. Bring him on in. Welcome. We got your room. Nice candlelit area in the back over there. That's yours. My son's middle name is actually Danger.

He is in the emergency room. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's right now. He's either in bed sleeping or in the emergency room. I'm not sure which. It's the second place I look. We'll pray and then you'll know.

That's how I figured out. I am a terrible human being. Our governor here in the state of Texas called for a day of prayer and fasting last May. We were in the height of a drought that meteorologists were telling us was a part of a cycle that would last perhaps for a number of years and that it would take us years to get our lake levels back up and so forth. It occurs to me that not immediately, but after that prayer event that 30,000 people participated in, we started getting rain, and in less than a a year our lakes are full, our fields are brimming. A lot of people seem not to connect the dots on that, but we've got a fresh illustration

of how God honors prayer. Yeah, that's one of those many things that historians will look back upon and say, look at the correlation. But I look back over the last few years at Sonny Perdue of Georgia, who called in the middle of their drought. That was unprecedented. It was a sensory drought they had there. He called for prayer, and within three days, they had rain falling in Georgia again. They're back in good condition.

I recall what happened with the oil spill in the Gulf, how all the Gulf governors except for Charlie Christ of Florida got together and called for a time of prayer that God would mitigate the damage of that and cause that thing to be sealed. Guess what? All the expected damage along the shorelines to all the

wildlife, it didn't happen. So this next story is from Right Wing Watch. This is pretty spectacular. So you guys will remember during the Rick Perry debacle candidacy, Rick Perry had decided, and we sort of lambasted and made fun of him, Rick Perry decided that the best way to end the drought in Texas would be to have a statewide day of prayer and fasting.

Because evidently God hates when you eat food. I don't know why he wants you to not eat a food to convince him to do things. I actually got to talk about that for a second. Can you imagine if the strength of somebody's argument was ever bolstered with, well, I'm not sure if I believe that. Well, hold on a minute because you didn't hear the clincher. I skipped lunch. Well, hold on a minute because you didn't hear the clincher. I skipped lunch.

Fuck! What? Well, and like I guess in God's eyes it's showing devotion, right? But I would think that ignoring all reason is devotion enough. Right? Just wasting all of your Sundays. Wasting your Sundays. Yeah, exactly.

Like why do I have to give up fucking lunch, too? It's a ridiculous idea. So they're saying it worked. Yeah, oh, yeah. These these nut huts, David Barton discussed Scarborough and David Barton. They discussed the importance of prayer, prayer and fasting. And they basically said, like, well, hey, look, you know, we have this drought and we had our day of prayer and fasting.

And then eventually, not right away, but eventually the drought ended. Well, yeah, droughts end. Droughts start. Yeah. That's the thing about them. They're not permanent. Well, and then all you have to do, Tom, is here, look. I'm not even going to say it, prayer or God.

I'm just going to say to you, Tom, things are going to get better. Thanks. Okay? Things are going to get better. Now, I'm not fucking being very specific on what the things are, and I'm not giving those things a time frame in which to get better, nor am I saying the quantity or quality of how much they will get better or how great better is. None of those things. But if I say things will get better and then they get better, I can claim that as a hit.

That's a it's just a ridiculous way in which to look at the universe. Things will fluctuate. They will get better and worse and they will do things randomly. So if it gets better, you're suddenly going to claim it. The idea, too, that you're claiming that there's no fucking, no problems with the Gulf spill and wildlife, are you fucking clinically stupid to think? I mean, there is fucking six-legged fish down there now.

Are you fucking serious? Like, the stuff they are pulling out of there is from hell. There is fucking six-legged fish down there now. Are you fucking serious? Like, the stuff they are pulling out of there is from hell. It's like fucking right out of a fucking Cthulhu fucking mystery. I'm always baffled that, like, you have to have a tragic event, like an oil spill or a drought, and then you have to pray for that thing to get better. I just don't understand why, like, is God that stupid? Yeah.

God is so stupid. He's like, I made a drought. And everybody's like, we didn't want it. Oh, you did want a drought. What? I made an oil spill. I know. Yeah, could you have proved? I made a dookie.

Right. He's like a particularly, like, spoiled and inobservant child. I made a drought. Ridiculous. Oh, look at my drought. We didn't want a drought. It's actually killing us. Okay.

Geez. I don't know why you guys didn't put it on the list of shit you didn't fucking want to have happen. Look, I made this tornado for you. I made the wind swirls again. Oh, man. Oh, I love the idea of fucking,

I don't know, of fucking God coming from the south, you know, from somewhere. Like a fucking Aryan man shot. I'm somewhere and fuck had a stand down there, from somewhere. Like a fucking Aryan man shot. From somewhere and fuck had a stand down there. You know, just some fucking like complete backwards dullard who just doesn't fucking know. He just is so clueless. I thought I made you something you'd like.

I fucking love that idea. I know that I'm all knowing and all powerful, but I didn't know you didn't want that. It's like a mixture of, like, fucking Gomer Pyle and fucking Forrest Gump. Like, that's what I see. God in his big old fucking bib overalls with the fucking wheat hanging out of his mouth or whatever, the piece of grass. Oh, I'll make you something you're going to like. Like, I fucking love it. I like, too, that he never, like, God in these stories never fixes the problem.

He just mitigates the damage. And after the fact. It's like, it's almost like you look up and you're like, whoa, whoa, fucking little help here? He's like, just a little. What? What? I got fucking regular people scraping birds with Dawn.

Yeah. You know? I got like Joe Sixpacks out there with like a scrub brush and some fucking degreaser. Yeah, no kidding. Trying to like save a fucking turtle. Yeah. And God is up there like, hmm. Oh, you didn't mark greasy turtles?

Oh, I'm sorry. I could have fixed that. But I thought you wanted a damaged environment. Gabriel, why didn't you tell me? This isn't on the board. Why didn't anybody put this on the board?

Thank that God, you douchebag. My God is stupid. It's a stupid, stupid deity. Oh, man. But yeah, you prayed and that's what fixed the fucking problem. Yeah, yeah. Well, and there's no reason to not take credit for it now. And then also just to make shit up.

Like, that's how this stuff works. That's why this is on right-wing watch, right? It's on there because fucking, because they're just making fucking something up out of nowhere and saying, oh, you know, everything's better now in the Gulf. I don't know if you heard. Everything's better in the Gulf. Now that everything's better, we don't have to worry about it. We don't have to send money down there. We don't have to volunteer to fucking scrub a duck down there.

We don't have to do any of that shit. You know, it's all just fucking, it's all just better. Have a fucking giant crawdad. Here's a fucking, here's a crawdad pie. Enjoy it. Ducks here. Scrub a duck here. Gotcha, scrubbing ducks.

Hey, what do you got? Any scrubbing ducks? Wasn't it Rush you got? Are you scrubbing ducks? Wasn't it Rush Limbaugh a few years back who said that about the Valdez? He's like, oh, yeah, that's all fine. Oh, yeah. Nature just turns it into blueberries or something. Yeah, that's what he said. He's like, oh, yeah, you can't mess up the ocean with oil.

Come on now. He's like, yeah, what he said was like nature just eats that shit. Yeah, it just eats it right up. He's like, ah, what he said was like, nature just eats that shit. it just eats it right up. Yeah. He's like, ah, nature. Nature is not Rush Limbaugh,

okay? And oil is not Oxycontin. You're all dead. Oh, be nice. Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay.

Oh, my God. What's happening now? We work hard. We play hard. Well, we're back to LGBTQ nation. Nation. Nation. Paul Cameron suggests Obama is gay, demands gays be imprisoned before they rape kids.

This is the best story ever. The picture. I love this. Paul Cameron of the Family Research Institute is an expert. No, he is not. He's cited by a whole bunch of other family research councils and concerned individuals for America and basically any of the fucking we don't like sex hate groups. Right. And this guy is about as crazy as they come.

Just just about as crazy as they come. There's a terrific picture of him, though, like staring up at the clouds. Oh, yeah. The picture on the on the YouTube video. Yes. I love that picture. It's like he's wearing the white suit, like, you know, the Southern evangelical. His hands are covering up his boner, too.

I don't know. That's exactly what they do. Well, that's because he's feeling a little hot because he knows this is going to be on LGBTQ Watch or Nation. And he says, and actually, while I'm not sure about the claims by the various people who have reported that Obama has at least participated at times with them in homosexual acts, this certainly lends some credence. Mark my words clearly, the long-term goal of the homosexual movement is to get every little boy to grab his ankles and every little girl to give it a try. Grab his ankles and every little girl to give it a try. They will not rest until every one of our children at least gets to try, has the opportunity, and maybe is forced to at least experience homosexual acts. There is no retreating from that.

They made it very clear earlier on. Now they don't take about it. I think he means to say talk about it. But that's what they want. They will not be happy until they get it. Marriage is just a step along the way. Give me a break, dude. What a fucking dimwit. You know, here's the thing.

If you don't want people to be gay, stop having gay kids. You know? Because you're the one who's fucking procreating and these kids are gay. It's your fault because you're just so straight. You're just so hyper straight that you're having gay kids. That's the way it works. It's not fault because you're just so straight. You're just so hyper straight that you're having gay kids. That's the way it works. That's how that's not.

It's not a learned trait. It's a fucking natural trait. It's not coming from behavior. It's not coming from the parents teaching them. The idea that all they want to do is make sure that everybody tries it once. Like there's nothing in me that wants to try anything gay. I just don't want to do it. I know.

Like, it's not for me. And it's the same thing for the gay people that are listening. They're like, there's nothing in me that wants to do anything straight. Awesome. Looks like we can live in the universe together. Right, exactly. You know, I think about that, and they talk about, well, you know, they just need to avoid temptation.

You know, you'll hear that all the time. Well, you know that there's a difference between, you know, how a person acts and what a person is tempted by. And they make it sound like it's very natural for straight people to be tempted by homosexual offers or the idea of homosexual activity. But that's not the case. That's not the case. Straight. That's not the case. Straight people are by and large straight. I mean, there's a continuum. Sexuality, of course, is a continuum.

There are people who are, you know, curious or, you know, bi or what have you. And I don't discount that for a moment. I know that that's the case. But, you know, if you identify primarily as straight, it's not like you're straight, but every day, you know, just got it primarily as straight, it's not like you're straight, but every day, you know, just got it. You know, I'm really straight, but man, I'm also just trying not to have gay sex all the time. Yeah, sure. What? That's not a thing.

Right. It's like, you know, if you don't like pizza, you don't walk past a pizza parlor and think, I do not like pizza. But I'm having a very hard time not buying some pizza right now. I'm having a very hard time not fucking this pizza. That's all great. No, but, but, you know, this, look, I understand. And I, and I will admit, you know, I'm attracted to lesbians, but that's just because it's

a two for one sale. You know what I mean? But, but it doesn't necessarily, I mean, I – I mean I'm not attracted to men at all. But look, if somebody is, what's the big fucking deal? The thing is like these people that are so rabidly anti-homosexual, first off, I think they are repressing something. Because nobody would say this if they didn't have some sort of feelings I think that reflect this. Nobody is going to say the goal of all gays is to make all the boys try it. You know what I mean?

Why would anybody care? And really, you know, when you think about that, when you just think about that in your head, you're like, OK, well, the goal of all gays is to make somebody try it. Like, wait, so you're saying that somebody would be susceptible to wanting to try it even if they weren't gay. What are you saying about yourself? Right. Well, that's exactly what I mean.

When they talk about, you know, temptation, I think they're really just externalizing their own feelings of being tempted. Because I'm not worried about temptation in homosexual activities. Right. I just don't have homosexual feelings. Right. You want answers? I think I'm entitled.

You want answers. I want the truth you can't handle the truth so cecil this next story is so weird dude some of the smoking gun cops pastor hidden cameras in church bathroom indiana pastors facing a voyeurism charge. I've never even heard of a voyeurism charge. For placing hidden cameras disguised as air fresheners in the women's bathroom. This is fucking gross, man. This is like, you know, we were talking earlier about like when you were a kid and like you took the, you know, Sears catalog and you open it up to the fucking maiden form section you're so desperate to see a skin and a shape i mean if you're so desperate that you're like you know it'd be awesome watching that chick poop that'd be cool that's not hot

yeah like there's nothing less sexy than watching somebody squeeze out a deuce like really really i can't think of a single, like, I cannot think of a single thing that I would, I mean, I would want to see less than somebody being like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to take a fat juicy dump. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to know about your dumps.

And you know, like, most girls, at least the girls that I've always dated, you don't even know they farted until like six months into the relationship. You have no idea that they shit until a year into the relationship. You're just've always dated, you don't even know they farted until like six months into the relationship. You have no idea that they shit until a year into the relationship. You're just like, wait, you go poo? Oh, yeah, I poo. Yeah, I poo.

But really, this whole thing is the most, it's like gross out humor. Like, I can't believe that somebody would possibly do this. And what do you, what could you possibly see? Because this thing's got to be, you know, even if it's, you know, ground level or whatever or somehow, the best you're going to see is like an ass. Like the best you're going to see is somebody come in. Because most of the time when you sit on the toilet, like you're kind of sitting there and you're like, okay, well, I'm sitting there and my hands are on my legs. My pants might be like around my ankles or around my knees. So really you can't see any cooter.

And then you can't see any ass anymore Cause it's all plastered against the seat. So what are you actually seeing? You're not seeing anything. Like I understand the concept of putting that in like a fucking dressing room. Right. I understand when they're like, Oh, they got caught fucking somebody had a fucking hidden camera in a dressing room. Cause people get down, they take lots of clothes off and change into bras or panties or whatever in there and you can see most of the body. But here you can't even really see anything. It's just like if fucking watching somebody piss and shit gets you off, then great. I'm sure there's plenty of websites that will let you do that.

Well, that's the thing. It's like have you not heard of the internets? It's a newfangled thing. If you're into the poop, like, if that's your thing, I mean, I get it. Three girls, one cup, bro. I mean, go for it, you know? There are ways to satisfy that urge. You do not need to put air freshener cameras in the crapper of the church.

I know. Pastor. Pastor of the church pastor pastor of the church he was just trying to get to know his flock you know so we got a couple of emails here no voicemails as we mentioned earlier uh but we're gonna start out with jake jake sent an sent an email saying that he enjoys the podcast. He calls Tom Jerry Seinfeld, which couldn't be further from the truth. Jerry Seinfeld's occasionally funny. And rich. And rich.

I'm not Jerry Seinfeld at all. He also says that. What's with these Jerry Seinfeld jokes? What's the deal with cognitive dissonance? What's with these Jerry Seinfeld jokes? What's the deal with cognitive dissonance? So he also says at the bottom here, he says that he knows everyone's a critic is over, but you two should still watch Antichrist and Lo. I have no idea what Lo is, but Tom, you've seen Antichrist.

Yeah, I've seen Antichrist. I had no idea what I was getting into at all. I randomly found it on Netflix and thought, this will be a hoot. Yeah, you didn't think. Anybody who's seen Antichrist right now is probably laughing their asses off knowing the fucking horror show of the psychosexual drama that is that movie. It involves...

Genital mutilation. Fucking genital mutilation with scissors. Hey, it goes full circle. That's all I'm saying. Full circle. It is a vital mutilation with scissors. Hey, it goes full circle. That's all I'm saying. Full circle. It is a deeply unpleasant movie. Yeah, I'm not interested in watching somebody clip their fucking pee-pee. That's not a thing I want to see.

No, it's her. I don't want to know. Yeah. Don't want to know. Yeah. Dot org. I'm not even comfortable saying the lady bit parts, man. She cuts that shit off.

So we got an email from Narnia. We did. We're supposed to keep this hush hush. Yeah. Well, I don't know that matters anymore. I think they got her. It looks like the centaurs have came. It sounds like at the end of this email that they may have found her.

Emily, we hope that you're still alive and that the centaurs didn't find you in the wardrobe. But please keep us up to date on what's happening in Narnia. And we appreciate an email from such a faraway land. I was just pleased they have an internet connection. We got an email. We got a Google Plus message from Denis from France who said that he was happy that he was our listener du jour. And I go to the French iTunes page here, Denis,

and it says something in French. But it also doesn't have any people that have rated us. But we trust that you will eventually. Please don't put on the je déteste. Instead do j'adore, if you will. That's five stars in French. I don't know. I guess it means instead do j'adore if you will. That's five stars in French. I don't know. I guess it means five.

J'adore means five. I have no idea. I just learned that j'adore means five. Fantastic. You have to say it that way too. I just did twice and I'm not going to say it again. We got an email from Anthony

and Anthony's a young lad in high school. His stepmom got him to listen because he bitches about religion, and she said, hey, you know, if you're going to bitch about religion, here's some assholes who bitch about religion too. So we're glad that you're listening, and also don't introduce any of your friends without a parental fucking slip, okay? That's all I'm saying. Christy sent an email, and she said, Tom, that she likes my laugh, but she thinks I sound like salacious crumb. Now, if you don't know who that is, that's the little cackling thing that sits next to Jabba the Hutt in the Return of the Jedi movies. So the person you sound exactly like.

I sound exact. I actually look like salacious crumb, too. I don person you sound exactly like. I sound exactly. I actually look like salacious crumb too. I don't know if you do, but I'm that size and I sit next to a very large fat man, also known as Tom. Feed me another frog. Oh, thank you very much, Christy. We appreciate you listening. And we kind of misrepresented an email last time, and we want to get it right. John sent us an email last time, and we were talking about being converted, but he says, no, I think you guys missed my point. And his point was – Tom, why don't you read it for us? Rather, I was making the observation that how the often smug superiority from a lot of atheists slash skeptics in debates will turn people away from more openly examining that worldview because of the fashion in which it was delivered. I was more interested in your view on this.

Ironic, given your guests today actually addressed such in passing. I'm sorry if we misrepresented your email. We certainly didn't intend to misrepresent your email. The problem is that my smug superiority as an atheist and skeptic naturally got in the way. Right, sure. No, I hear what you're saying. Do I

think that there's a general attitude of smugness and superiority that atheists lord over the non-religious and that keeps them at distance? You know, no, I actually don't think so. I think some people are assholes and most people aren't. And I think that goes for atheists just like it goes for the religious.

And some people are smug and some people aren't. And I think different people have different audiences. I think our audience is people who are already entrenched in the, in this system. They're not, they're not believers. They're people who don't believe in their skeptics or their, their atheists. I think that those are the people that we're, we're already talking to. I don't think that if you played our podcast for somebody who was on the fence, that they would switch over, that they would be like, oh, I totally believe what they had to say because we're not very convinced. What great points they've raised.

Exactly. They're not going to do that. But we're not trying to do that. And I think you can't lump everybody together and say, well, some of the people are jerks because I don't think that some of those people are really trying to get people to to shed religion. I think the people that are really actively trying to do it and that are successful at it are the people that are willing to have debates and not step on people's beliefs like a Shermer or a Sagan. We got a couple of emails from Tiffany. It seems like Tiffany was listening while she was drinking some wine. We got three emails in the same day. The last one was just

like drinky, drinky, drinky. I am drinky. Thank you for listening, Tiffany. And we're glad that you're listening. We want to finish up with an email from Lana now Lana sends us an email that is two parts the first one, now Lana's from Calgary which is in America's hat up there

Lana says the first thing is that there's a sort of a punch in the gut about atheism is that when we die, there's nothing. What about that kind of? And then there's also the idea that we don't really have a community. There's a lot of loneliness. We don't have the same, especially the way religious people get together and that sort of thing.

It's really not – there's not really a solidified sort of feeling between atheists. We don't have – you don't have a support structure. I mean I'm obviously pulling this out of your email. But I feel like the death question we've never really addressed on this show, existential anxiety sucks. I mean I'm going to say right, right now, it sucks. Uh, the, I, you know, existence on its own is, is it, is its own, um, sort of thing you have to contend with. And then the idea that one day you won't exist is just, uh, at least when you finally realize it, it's, it's kind of a horrifying prospect. But there's ways in which I think that people deal with it.

Tom, you recently had some death for somebody close to you. How did you deal with it? You know, I certainly didn't feel an urge to escape in any kind of religious or spiritual thinking. You know, what I did is, you know, I think what people tend to do cross-culturally is I very much looked forward to, if it can be said that that's the case, to a memorial service where I could gather along with other people who are grieving the loss of this person and we could, you know, spend time together, you know, having, you know, talking about this person and remembering the things that they did.

I will say though, that in the grieving process, you know, there were several times where I sort of caught myself having this internal conversation, which, you know, I think if a person was religious, that conversation could be thought to be real, you know, where you're sitting there and you're sort of speaking in your head to the person that's now deceased. But I recognized pretty immediately, you know, as I'm doing it, that what I'm really doing is having a conversation internally, not with the deceased and the spirit of the deceased, but I'm having a conversation with myself. And that's, that's part of the grieving process where you work out, you know, your, your thoughts and your feelings about the event and about the death and about how you're

going to deal with the loss of this person in your life. And, you know, does it suck to realize that this person who was once, you know, a part of your life is essentially worm food? Yeah, I mean, that sucks. But, you know, things suck. Like some things just suck. And you can't gain, you're not gaining anything by taking a false comfort. Yeah, I don't think there's anything to gain. You know, it's not a real comfort. And I did that thing that everybody, I think, does, where you have the conversation with the deceased in your head and, you know, that's a conversation with yourself. That's all that is.

And if you just recognize that, you're OK. It's like a psychological process. It's like a conversation with the memory of that person. Exactly. When I think about, now this is dealing with the death of another person. But when I think about my death, when I think about what's going to happen when I die, there's a lot of people that get soulless in the idea of, well, you didn't exist before you were born for the entirety of the 13 billion years that the universe has been around. And, you know, this tiny little bit of time that you're going to be here, you're not going

to exist afterwards either. So they get solace in that. The one thing I do get a little solace from is I think that all good things have an ending. If things didn't have an ending, then there, it doesn't feel like there'd be a lot of a point to it. So I, I really do feel like, uh, when I do go, whether it's tomorrow or, you know, at this rate with this body 25 years from now, um, I'm, I'm hoping that, uh, that I've lived a life that I can look back and be somewhat proud of. And that's all I can really hope for. I do obviously I think a lot of people that are atheists will have those moments where they're just sitting there thinking, fuck.

You know, time's running out. Eventually I'm going to go. And it's not a good feeling. Time's running out. Eventually I'm going to go. And it's not a good feeling. But I don't think that there's anything to be gained, like we said earlier, in false – in feeling like, oh, well, there's some sort of false sense of I'm going to live forever. I also think that living forever is terrifying. I actually think living forever is more terrifying than dying.

The idea of living on and on and on and on forever is a really kind of terrifying concept to me. It actually scares me more than if I were just to die. In the second part of this email, Lana says, and I'm not going to read it, but basically our viewpoints are very intense. But what if something happened with, say, acupuncture that proved it was the case. And it says, because I got to say, I can't picture listening to a podcast where you say, hey, guess what? We were wrong about that shit on acupuncture. Turns out there's more to it.

I would like to think that I'm be willing to say, hey, you know, we were bagging on chiropractors a couple weeks ago. Turns out I was wrong. Hey, we were bagging on chiropractors a couple weeks ago. Turns out I was wrong. Hey, we were fucking wrong about Bigfoot. He came and fucking rode to work with me the other day or whatever. I think I would, you know, I would. Bigfoot's fucking in the carpool lane. I needed a ride. But I feel like I would like to think that I would be honest enough with myself

that I would say, hey, you know what? I was wrong. And I'm willing to hear anybody's anybody's evidence as long as there's really evidence. The thing is, is that a lot of people have brought forth. Let's just talk about, you know, for example, crop circles. I think crop circles are made by people. That's what I think. I have a lot of evidence to support this because many people have come forth. I've seen people create the same exact diagrams in the snow with just their shoes. I've seen people show other people how they've done the crop circles, really intricate designs, et cetera, et cetera. So I know it can be done with just a fucking simple stick and a rope.

So I'm not convinced that it's anything supernatural at all. Now, if somebody films something with, you know, inconclusive truth or I go out and I see there's a fucking gremlin out there making the fucking crowd circles, I'll change my mind. Yeah, I think the other thing, too, is that I like to think that I would change my mind, but I'll be honest, you would meet some resistance from me. And the reason you would meet some resistance from me on a lot of these topics is you carry a heavy burden of proof when you talk about the supernatural. A very heavy burden. And I'm not going to help you lift it.

The supernatural is supernatural. It's outside the realm of naturalistic explanations. You know, something like acupuncture, if a study came out in the New England Journal of Medicine tomorrow that said that acupuncture cures tinnitus, and I had tinnitus, I'd go get acupuncture. And I would revise the skeptic's creed. I would do it happily. I don't have a dog in that fight. If you're going to tell me that it's Little Green Men or it's, you know, magic of any kind.

If the explanation involves magic in any way. Well, you got some heavy lifting to do before. If it's little green men and little green men show up and there's fucking little green men on my TV and there's little green men walking down my street. Then I'm going to be like, well, fuck little green men. I was wrong. Look at that. Well, here's the thing. So I wouldn't have been wrong then, but if I said there weren't aliens now, I'd be wrong.

You know, if I say right now there's no evidence for aliens and thus I don't believe that aliens are visiting Earth, I'm not wrong. No, because there isn't any good evidence. When I wake up tomorrow, if there's a fucking alien driving my car, I'd be like, wow, now I would be wrong to say the opposite. Well, we thank you, Lana from Calgary. Thank you for sending in your email. We appreciate it. And we love to get email. We love to get voicemail.

So make sure you send us those things so we can talk to you via the podcast. So that wraps it up for this week. We're actually going to be recording. This is coming out quickly. But next time we're going to try to get back on the Monday schedule. So it's actually being released either Sunday or Monday. Not this week, but during Memorial Day that's coming up next week. So to hold you over

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temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. friends, families, or of the local dairy council. you