Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 487: Spring Sword Sale

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

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If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 487 of Cognitive Dissonance. And Cecil, I can't remember, are there tickets still available to Citation Needed Live? Would you tell me? Gosh, they're just flying off the shelves, though. Literally flying off the shelf. There's no shelf. Gosh, they're just flying off the shelves though. Literally flying off the shelf. There's no shelf. They're like flying toasters off the shelf. They're just, they're very relevant. You should buy some. That's what I'm saying. We'll be talking about something archaic like a flying toaster. We have a couple of the essays done already and they are going to be great. Like there's a couple of things that we're doing that are going to be really funny. So you want to go, it's two full shows, two episodes a piece that are different. So it's going to be

two episodes, different episodes for the first show and two different episodes for the second. So it's a total of four new Citation Needed episodes. Four new Citation Needed, you could see live? In one night. And there's a lot of tickets for the late show what value we should put the best essays on the late show so all right i'll do my two on the late show and then we'll have a slam against noah take that noah damn noah's not even here to defend himself that's the best time to go after him because he's not here he's like hidden in a hurricane one of the witches of the west just flipping around in that thing.

To be fair, if it's going to happen to anyone, Noah's the right person to be in a flood, right? Oh, absolutely. Noah's just got, all he's got is two cats. He's like,

I filled it with everything I still love. He's just standing around all the carcasses laughing. God's like, all right, you're going to have to bring two of every good, I haven't filled. It's like, all right, you're going to have to bring two of every good.

I haven't filled. It's empty. I haven't filled. He's got two cartons of cigarettes. Oh, the dove comes back. He just shoots it out of the air. Just like, I was happy in the boat.

Because I guess, I guess Noah sounds like a, like a woman. I don't even know. When I do his voice, I do it like, what? He doesn't sound like that at all. Because I guess Noah sounds like a woman who smokes 100 packs of cigarettes. When I do his voice, I do it like... What? He doesn't sound like that at all. He doesn't sound like that at all, really. He doesn't sound like that at all.

No. He sounds more emaciated. In any case, there are tickets available. So you can go and buy them. Go to citationpod.com and there's a link on that website for tickets. But catch us in New York. It's going to be great. October 12th.

All right. So the first story we're going to be great. October 12th. All right. So the first story we're going to talk about, now Cecil, you actually brought this topic up and I was a little surprised because slavery is over and doesn't matter anymore.

And there's no effects of it after it was over. There's no effects whatsoever. So, but I mean, I guess there are still some people who are talking about slavery. Like it's something we still have to contend with

as if racism wasn't over. Right. But I mean, don't we? Well, we solved that, guys. Just dust your hands off. We're done with that now. Okay. And emancipated.

Boom. God, amazing. Free and free. Woo. Glad you don't have any kind of uphill battle. You know, this is important stuff to talk about. So the New York Times has an ongoing series, a 1619 project.

And there's a couple of articles and then there's podcasts they've released on the subject. And I will say that the podcasts they released on the subject are very powerful. So if you have an opportunity to read it and to listen to the podcasts on it, I thought they were incredible. They were very, very impactful.

This is, the 1619 is the 400th anniversary of what they're saying is the 400th anniversary of slavery in the United States. Oh, slavery ending. 400 years ago, it ended in 1619, right? Well, it's 400 years ago, so I'm sure Trump's going to send us a card that says, congratulations on your slavery. Congratulations, Africa. We have some very good Africans. Some of my favorite people are Africans. Oh, Jesus.

I also want to talk, can we talk just for a second before we get into the meat of the article? Because the meat of the article is about slavery and capitalism. Right. But the one thing I noticed, especially listening to the podcast and reading the article too, is that they make reference. They don't say slaves. They say enslaved people, and they say it throughout. And it's the softening of language to sort of not make, like, to not discriminate against people that are their descendants, right?

That's why they're doing it, right? Right. But for me, it feels like a softening of the thing, right? It feels like, you know, if you want to just keep it feels like a softening of the thing. Right. It feels like, you know, if you want to just keep it, if you, and I, and I'm willing to be correct, I'm totally willing to be corrected on this thing to talk about. Right. But, but semantically, it feels like we're saying, well, let's soften the whole thing up. And I don't want to soften the whole thing up. Now I, I know for sure my, my, uh, this, uh, what is it? I'm not descendants.

I'm descendant of them. Whatever the previous is. What is that? My ancestors. My ancestors. So yeah, my predecessors, my ancestors, they didn't get here until well after slavery was over, right? First, I'm second generation. Are you? Like whatever. My dad was born here. My mom was born here, but their

parents were not. Okay. So, you know, and we're talking in the 1900s-ish is when most and all of my family came to the United States. Right. So, so, you know, and we're talking in the 1900s ish is when most and all of my family came to the United States. Right. So it's after slavery is over now, don't get me wrong. I know I benefited from slavery and after the fact, but in any case, the, the, the softening of it, I don't want to hear, like, I don't want to feel like I'm softening it down to be like, like, I want to, I want people to recognize the brutality of it, right? And to say, to sort of soften the language around it feels, there's that old Carlin skit. Do you remember

this Carlin skit where George Carlin's talking about how they used to call it shell shock, and now they call it post-traumatic stress disorder. And he goes through all the naming conventions of what we used to call it. And he said, well, when you soften it up, sometimes you don't take it as seriously. Shell shock means something. It means, you know, and it's a powerful word and it tells you sort of exactly what the thing is. Yeah, right. And then he works his way down and it's funny,

you know, he's doing a joke. So it's a joke. Right. But at the same time, he's making a statement to say like, we shouldn't soften some words because it takes the sting out of them and we should keep that there. So we remind ourselves that, you know, this is a bad thing.

So counterpoint to it. Counterpoint. Because I understand what you're saying. And I think I agree, but I feel it differently. Okay. So moving from slave to me, slave is a kind of people. Like slave creates a category and a certain kind of people are slaves. And so if you're prone to racism, you can put a category of people into the slave category. Okay. And that makes them less people. I see. I see. You know what I mean? Sure. So I can understand that enslaved people emphasizes the peoplehood of them, the personhood of them. Exactly. So it's a temporary state of a person rather than a category of a type. They don't say, don't call it, you shouldn't say poor person. You should say a person in poverty, right?

That's how it, that's how it works. You shouldn't just, because a poor person means that defines you. So I get it. I understand it. I understand what you're saying. Yeah. I don't know which has the bigger impact, right?

Because to your point, like you don't, you want to call rape, rape, right? We don't want to call rape some smaller thing, right? We want to make sure that we're using words when we describe tragedy and when we describe abuse and we describe, we want to use words that have the most impact to be descriptive about the horror of that condition. I don't know of any word outside of that word slavery, but I don't know that we use slavery. You know what I mean? I don't know that answer. I genuinely don't know that we use slave. You know what I mean?

I don't know that answer. Maybe you're right. Maybe when we talk about the people, you talk about enslaved people, but you still use the word slavery as a way to say, you know, yeah. So I think you're probably right. And maybe I'm overreacting.

Just another way to think. It definitely feels like, it just feels like you're softening it a little. And I just want to remember, like, you know, this was a horrible fucking time in our country. It's a giant black eye on our history. It's awful.

It's like the worst thing you could possibly do. And it's not just that they enslaved a few people. And it's not just that they made a little bit of money. This article goes on to talk about the immense amount of money. And there's huge parallels to that in the housing industry that we'll get into. But like the idea is, is like one of the, one of the quotes from, I think one of the podcasts was that there was more money in enslaved people than there was in all the warehouses and all the railroads at the current

time. Like there was more money there. And it's And it's insane to think like how much value there, and I know we'll talk about that. Well, maybe we'll just talk about it now so we don't just keep alluding to it. Like one of the things that I found most impactful about this, there were two things that jump out at me right now. And the one is that we're celebrating

the 400 year anniversary of the beginning of slavery being brought to the United States, brought to America, right? African slavery being brought to the United States, brought to America. African slavery being brought to the United States. Because there was the slavery of the indigenous peoples began immediately on the arrival of the Europeans. So let's not, let's set that aside because we're talking about African slavery.

So a very specific kind of slavery. It's 400 years. We were connoisseurs. Oh no. And there's an argument sometimes that gets made that like, oh, slavery ended such a long time ago. You know, slavery ended such a long time ago. We're 400 year anniversary. We're not 200 years away from it.

We have had slavery here longer than we have not had slavery here. Right. Never forget that part. Like, it's not like something that happened in the super ultra ancient past. Right. There are people from this podcast who are relaying stories that are,

that in their lives are, yeah, my grandfather was a slave. Yeah, yeah. Like, we are that close. We are that close. Two long lives away is what they said. Yeah. That's, like, when you think about how impactful that close. Two long lives away is what they said. Yeah. That's like when you think about how impactful,

like two long lives away, it's great. Like, like when I can tell a story, when I can listen to somebody alive, tell a story. And in that story, it's,

well, my grandfather's experience as a slave was this. And I don't want to hear any conversation ever about how that was then. And this is now it's still the now. It's still so now that we have contemporaneous people who've had relatives' experiences as actual fucking slaves. And then it's not like slavery ended. Yeah. And then everybody was like, well, welcome in, guys.

Everything is fine. It still took decades of Jim Crow laws and you have- Generations. Lynchings throughout the entire South. You have the entire racist South that just tried to subjugate people after they were slaves, just try to subjugate that group of people.

And then people will say, well, what's the big deal? You guys have the same foothold that everybody else does and it's just not true. It's just genuinely not true. It's never been true in all the history. Like we got the we've got like you said we've got jim crow you have the the um reconstruction which lasted about an hour and a half when we tried to figure

out yeah well how do we make it right um and then you know you've got the sharecropping um i mean fucking sharecropping was basically like slavery the sequel it was like yeah 2.0 yeah you know and yeah like it wasn't all africans but you can't take a hundreds of thousands hundreds of thousands of people significant percentages of the population and say like okay well you're just free now so go go what go what you have nothing you. You have no identification of who you are as a person. You have no education because it's been withheld from you generationally. You have no money, no resources, no

one to call upon in times of need. You have no family that's doing better whose couch you can crash on. You've got nothing. Turning people loose into the world and saying, well, to your point, is like, that is another kind of injustice,

perhaps even a bigger injustice to heap upon the generations that follow slavery. Yeah. Well, you know, this whole article really highlights not just how badly we treated the enslaved people, but it also highlights how those practices have become sort of our capitalist mantra. Yeah, I had no idea. This was so interesting. All of the things, like all these crazy things that like currently are in our system.

One of the things that really shot out at me was they talk about metrics for how productive you are. And there's plenty of metrics nowadays to make sure that we're productive, right? They were talking about watching your computer at work, like key clicks, watching how long you spend on certain sites and things like that, like all the different metrics and ways in which you can pay attention to how your workers are working. But they had the same thing back then. And another thing that really struck me too, they didn't have key clicks, but they definitely, they made sure to pay attention

to how much they did, right? They measured how much they did. They tried to make sure that that was the, that they kept that as the baseline. And they wouldn't do more than that because they were afraid that they were going to be getting a new baseline. And that continues even to this day where people are like, well, I don't want to overwork because I don't want to have to do this every day. Like, I want to make sure that I kind of dick it a little so that at the end of the day, I'm not like killing myself every single day.

Even if I have a good day, I kind of want to slow it down a little. Yeah. There was a correlation that is that the economy equals brutality to some degree, right? So when overseas, one of the examples that was great was when overseas the price of cotton changed

and that created economic pressures here, then that created a one-to-one correlation to the brutality and violence that slave overseers visited upon their slaves because they were required to produce more in order to gain, you know, to get that money, right? So to some degree, like the capitalist society says, like when certain market conditions are like this, then the requirements of the working

people, whether those working people be slaves or wage slaves, right? Which are, you know, I don't want to say it's an equivalent, but you know, what we're working on now, it creates economic conditions that are more brutal. Right. And that is a world that I had never thought to consider. Sure. But that you can see. Yeah. And there is a sense that like measuring productivity in these sorts of microscopically metric ways, that's an inhuman way to look at it. Because what it

does is it treats every person as a output unit. Sure. You're just a cog. Right. Yeah. You're not a human anymore. Right. You're just a thing that does work for me. You might as well be one of Andrew Yang's army of robots that they're talking about, right? Right. And I think that's why there's a comfort level

with replacing people with robots because we've already treated people like robots. For years. Yeah. And it started here. Like when you read this article, there's just like so many parallels to how badly we treat workers.

One of the things that they talk about that carries on, I want to read part of this. It says, it says, or consider workers' rights in different capitalist nations. In Iceland, 90% of wage salary workers belong to trade unions authorized to fight for living wages and fair working conditions. 34% of Italian workers are unionized. 26% of Canadian workers, only 10% of American wage and salaried workers carry union cards. Only 10%. I mean, I, when I grew up, unions were very strong. They were like, like I know my dad was part of a union.

He was a teamster, you know, like there was a lot of, I always, like almost everybody that my family interacted with, they weren't in the same union, but they were in a union. Right. And just look at how that's plummeted since then. And that's all just, you know, unions started getting big. You know, they weren't big during this time. They started getting big after the industrial revolution, right? That's when they started getting big. And now they're in decline again, especially in our country. Not in other, clearly not in Iceland, right? But in our country, they're absolutely on a decline. And they were the one thing that helped protect you from being that cog that you were just talking about.

Part of the reason I think that they're on the decline is that the American capitalist system creates a complete lack of compassion around the workforce. So I think that the American union work, the American union as a rule was able to kind of become a thing and become powerful because the work that those people were doing was a required work, right? It was work that would be difficult to find other people to do. And so that was the leverage. It's like, look, if we all band together, we all do this kind of work, we will be difficult to replace en masse. we will be difficult to replace en masse. But now with the hyper-specialization of the economy,

there are very few workers that can band together that all kind of have the same skillset. We're so much more dispersed now. We don't work in the same way in these massive factories where 10,000 people go to the fucking widget factory. And now it's like, well, 100 workers work at this office and 60 workers work at this office and I don't do the same thing that you do. So why would I be in the same kind of union that you're in?

Because I'm an administrative guy and you're a coder and you're this and you're that. The dispersal of the workforce and the hyper-specialization of the workforce, I think has helped to foster the breakdown of the union because we don't have groups of people that can kind of be specialized in the same big bucket. So we don't wield the same kind of power anymore.

You just don't, no matter what you can do, you can't push back against that power. And one of the things, two other statistics that they came up with, one of them was how countries regulate temporary work assignments. America is second to last out of 71 countries. And we're the last out of how easy it is to fire workers.

We're the very last one. We are, you know, basically there's, we live in a no, what is it? What do they call it? At will. At will state. So you basically just fucking fire anybody for no fucking reason whatsoever. Just be like, get out of my fucking office, period. just fucking fire anybody for no fucking reason whatsoever. Just be like, get out of my fucking office, period. And there's a lot of, clearly every other country has something other than that,

right? Something other than that. And it just shows you the dehumanization of the worker, right? And unions help stop both of those things. Unions help prevent that sort of thing. There's been some podcasts I've listened to where the women have miscarried when they work for like these big box places that are like shipping places or whatever. It wasn't Amazon, but it was a company that was like a fulfillment company like for Amazon.

And they work these people to absolute, like just exhaustion every day. And this woman, she just, like there's been like a series of miscarriages at one of these places where they just, they make these women work like crazy hours and make them work like like absolute dogs while they're very pregnant and it causes these women to get miscarriages and it's and that's just that's just a common thing that we do um and it and i i want to bring it back to the 1619 thing because it all stems from how,

like you said, how we treated these people, how we, how we sort of inflicted violence on them to make them more, more productive. Right. And one thing that again, really struck me too, is I've always sort of looked at England as a country that sort of got out of

it. Right. They, they stopped doing this long before we did. Right. They, they got out of it. They, they washed, they long before we did, right? They got out of it. They washed, what I thought,

sort of washed their hands of it, right? Like they didn't do this anymore. They stopped being the slaver. But when they talk in this podcast, they talk about all these, the money that they spent. So while they weren't doing it directly. They were outsourcing. And they were still making a shit ton of money off of it.

They were making money, doing exactly what they did during the housing industry. People would put up slaves as collateral. This was crazy. Enslaved people as collateral. I said slaves, sorry. Enslaved people as collateral, right? So these enslaved people as collateral, they put them up as collateral. And just like we did with the houses, they'd take these giant, all these loans and they'd put them together in a big bundle. And then they would spread out the risk among a bunch of other people. And then they would all just sort of get the money from the loans, little bits of money from the loans as time went on. And so the collateral was the enslaved people and it eventually collapsed just like the housing market. And it sounded like, I mean, just sounded exactly like it.

The parallels are creepy, right? The parallels were totally creepy. The idea too, that like we would use human beings and mortgage them. You can get you, they were, the economy,

just to give it, just to give it a sense of scale. Again, because there is a, there is a bullshit narrative that persists in this country that we're done with that. So why do we have to continue contending with it?

The sense of scale is that, you know, they're at the height of, of human enslavement in America, the value of human slaves as a kind of collateralized property was greater than the value, like you said, of actual land of actual property.

So if you were going to take out a loan, it made more sense for you as a slave owner to collateralize other human beings who, if you default, they take your people, they take your humans, and now they own your humans. The same way the bank forecloses on your house, they would literally foreclose upon your men and women and children that you fucking owned. Yeah. Because the value of human slavery was the largest economic real estate in this country.

That's how big the institution of fucking slavery was. The crazy thing is- I had no idea. I had no idea either. And I know that there's going to be people be like, how could you not know this, right? How could you not? Well, because we're not taught it in school, right?

And it's not something that I, it's not a thing that I've ever really thought to dig into. It's not something that, now don't get me wrong. This is going to make me change that path. And I will almost certainly dig into some more of this, but you know, you can't know everything, right? Isn't it true that if you're imperfect, you're not good at all? I think that's pretty true. I hate myself. I hate myself.

Why do you should? You should have known this before you knew to know this, asshole. But I will say this. I will say it was a shock to me. It was a shock to me to find this out. I had always thought, because I'd always thought like, oh, they're just farmers and it really wasn't a giant part of the economy. But when you hear this story, you're just like, holy shit. It was like literally the one leg the economy was standing on at one point, just like the housing market. They had to bail out this institution because it was too big to fail. They use those words in this article. It's too big to fail. And the other huge parallel, and I know you know this because you worked in the housing industry during this big, during the housing crisis, it exploited people of color just the

same way as back when it was slaves. Horribly. I mean, all those people, all those people were, you know, the people of color that they just went up to and they had the NENA loans and all that stuff. And then they just. You know, the craziest story from that time period when I was working in that business, like I used to do loan closing. So I wasn't the loan officer. I was in the middle at a title company. And at this point in my life, I was a closer. And so one of my responsibilities was to go out, get signatures

on the paperwork and take it back. And then you deal with all the money, right? So just to, the simplest terms. So I remember going to a closing at a woman's house on the west side of Chicago. And I pulled up and it's a very rough neighborhood. Like it's a poor, poor neighborhood. And you know, this very, very elderly lady, she's in her late 80s at least, very frail, very elderly. She lets me into her home and her home had caught on fire. And it was at least a two flat. It may have been a little bigger. I don't know. We're in the first floor of it. And her home had caught on fire and the fire had been put out and the damage had never been repaired. So I'm in her home and it's in a

very rough neighborhood and the walls are blackened. And then coming down the walls is water damage. Jesus Christ. And climbing up the walls is mold. Oh, good God. And so her home is damaged by fire, ravaged by water. Mold is climbing down the ceilings. She's 80 some years old. She got a $417,000 loan, which is the maximum loan value before you move into the jumbo. So that's an intentional loan amount. She took out a $417,000 loan. She barely understood anything that she was signing. She understood it like, I think she understood it in very basic terms, but in terms of like, this loan doesn't make sense.

She's on a fixed income. She's living on the, like none of that shit made any sense. And you could walk, and we did hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of those things. It was not an anomalous transaction. And it was a predatory transaction.

There's no institution in the world. There's no reasonable person in the world who could hear that story and say like, well, that's a lady who's going to pay that loan back. Yeah. Like that's a lady who can pay a $417,000 mortgage. That's a home that was ever worth $417,000. It was never worth that much.

The borrower wasn't worth that much. Thousands and thousands. And that was predatory. It was absolutely predatory. And what happens when the markets collapse is those neighborhoods collapse first and thousands. And that was predatory. It was absolutely predatory. And what happens when the markets collapse is those neighborhoods collapse first and fastest. Yep. Because there was never a hope that they were going to pay that back. The only thing that mattered was that the bank made a quick buck, securitized the property, sold that loan off in a tranche with thousands and thousands of other loans, buried the risk, buried high-risk loans with better-risk loans.

I mean, or bundled bad-risk loans together as high-interest-rate return properties. All of that shit was intended to fail because it was intended to create short-term profits on the backs of people who are poverty-stricken people. I will say, you used to live in a neighborhood and you moved out of the neighborhood. It's like four houses back now.

Yeah. But you moved, I helped you with this house. You moved into this neighborhood. It was a diverse neighborhood. It was. There was, you know, white folks living alongside black folks, like throughout this whole neighborhood,

very diverse neighborhood. You go into the neighborhood, I'd come over, I'd help you work. You really enjoyed your neighborhood. You liked it. You liked the diversity. You liked the people there. It was a quiet, pretty neighborhood, big, big trees, nice old brick houses, brick, the bungalow style houses, very typical Chicago houses, really beautiful neighborhood. You bought that house for a lot of money and you fix the house up. You put a ton of sweat equity into it. And that neighborhood now on the backs of these loans is worth nothing. Nothing. Everything. All the business is closed. All those people are probably mortgaged to their

eyeballs or they were foreclosed on. Every home value in that neighborhood has plummeted well, well, well past what you could have even close to bought it for when you first were looking at that neighborhood. Basically, they ruined that entire neighborhood. And they ruined a neighborhood that was mostly, now almost certainly is mostly African-American. Oh, yeah. The demographic absolutely changed. And that's an important, that's an important part of that whole story, right? Is that when those events occur, when those big structural poverty creating events occur, they grow grossly impact people of color more than people who are white. Right. So there was white flight from that neighborhood. Now all the white

people pieced out of that neighborhood or almost all of them. And the people that were left by and large in that neighborhood, um, are all the black people. Like it's just true. And that neighborhood's worth about 28% of what I bought that house for. So it lost about 75, 70, 72 to 75% of its value from 2008. That was your first home. That was my first, that was your first home, your first home. And it was, it was a, it was a wonderful memory to go over there and do that stuff. I love that house. I love that house too. I love going over there and working on it.

And it's just like, and that whole neighborhood has changed immensely. And it's all like, you know, we have this bullshit narrative in this country about like how they're, at least this is a boomer narrative that your real wealth is in your real estate, in your home. That's the real wealth. That's where you gather all your real wealth. Well, what did you say and what did you guys do to everybody

in the housing crisis? The boomers basically just took all that wealth away. They said, yeah, put it all in your home. Go ahead and put it all in your home and then mortgage the shit out of it and we'll take it from you. And we'll fucking, and even the people who didn't,

you know, there's a lot of people in your neighborhood, in your old neighborhood, that probably didn't mortgage their home, didn't do any of that stuff. And they suffered just alongside everybody else because like you said, their housing prices just fell through the floor because of this.

Now they're stuck. You know, like that's the thing too is like, okay, so you didn't mortgage your house to the hilt, but your house went from being worth 170, 180,000 to 25, 30,000, which are real numbers in that neighborhood. Yeah. So, okay, now you can't sell your house to the hilt, but your house went from being worth $170,000, $180,000 to $25,000, $30,000, which are real numbers in that neighborhood. So, okay, now you can't sell your house. Your house isn't worth enough to sell. Even if you don't have a mortgage on it, what are you going to get out of it? By the time you pay all the fees associated with selling a house, you're not walking out with anything at all. Your house is worth less than a car.

That's a crazy world to live in. And that's what happened. And there's, that's just one example of thousands and thousands of neighborhoods all over the country where the impacts of segregated, racially segregated neighborhoods and valuing these disproportionate values grotesquely affect one group of people or minority groups of people. Yeah. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. This is Rick Joyner. Christians need to establish militias in preparation for the coming Civil War. All right, well, here we go. Okay, this is Rick Joyner.

This is not going to be crazy. Rick is joining the Bakers, so you will hear the bobblehead make one or two comments, but it's mostly Rick. The Second Amendment is linked to malicious. It's linked to malicious? I thought he said it's milky and delicious. Is that what?

Some could say that the second amendment is linked to malicious. Several malicious acts have happened because of the second amendment. I would say the most malicious acts certainly rely upon it in order to happen, right? And now when you say that word, everybody thinks white supremacist or all these weird,

but no, we were- Okay, and I think that we think that because the militias that have formed in this country have been almost exclusively white supremacists. Like, are you aware of any militias, genuinely, that are like racially diverse militias? It's not like the Boy Scouts has a militia. It's not like the Boy Scouts is like, okay, go home.

No, the Mormons don't need one. The Girl Scouts don't have a militia. Pick a group. Pick any group. When you start arming people, yeah, it starts looking a little crazy. And why do you have to be armed? Right. What's the purpose of being armed?

Why would you need to be armed? And that's when you start thinking about it in those terms, you're like, yeah, well, the reason why they want to be armed is because everybody hates them because they're assholes. That's why I have to protect myself from rational people that hate me. Meant to have militias throughout the country to defend our communities. From other militias. You see, the world is better

when it's broken up into a series of warlords. I mean, look, everybody knows that the world we want to have is like a late 90s Mogadishu warlord run society. Exactly, right? Obviously. I want to be the Lord of Naperville. like a late 90s Mogadishu warlord run society. Exactly, right? Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, I want to be

the lord of Naperville. Like the king of Naperville. Just standing on the river walk, all the people coming towards you, throwing out gold coins to your people. You just, I definitely want to live

in a world where we have like Toyotas with machine guns mounted in the back of them, like the pickup trucks. What you got to have is got to have a war between like Downers Grove

and Naperville. The two Downers Grove militia fights the Naperville militia for, I don't know, like power over the Burlington Northern train line or something.

I don't even know. I will protect my pills and wine from you. This is such a Chicago-centric fight too. And all that are not racist or anything else just want to defend their families. From what? Well, from the government.

Because the government's going to show up and take your family. Oh, yeah. Wait, no, that's not. Well, yeah. The government's going to show up. It depends. The government will show up and take your family. Oh, yeah. Wait, no, that's not. Well, yeah. The government's going to show up. It depends. The government will show up and take your family

if you are brown. Yeah, right. If you speak Espanol. And they don't care at this point. They'll take them, and then they'll be like, oh, okay, I guess we found your birth certificate. You can go. Okay, you proved with paperwork

that you should not have been illegally arrested and detained and essentially kidnapped even though you're a citizen of the United States. Yeah, sure. Do us a favor and join the army.

Yeah, that won't work. Dude, I read this fucking story. Did you read this fucking story about deporting veterans? Yep. Okay, so I'll express. This is like the ignorance show. So like,

I had no idea, first of all, that you could join the US military without being a citizen. I guess I just didn't know that. But if you're a legal permanent resident, you can join the military. And I read this fucking story and it was so fucking sad.

It was crazy about this guy who was, he came to the United States from El Salvador when he was three, right? So no volition of his own. He just was here. He's three. He doesn't make decisions yet. So he lived here his whole life. At the age of 18, he joined the Marines. He fought in the first desert storm. He fought a second tour. I don't remember where, but he's a combat veteran, like a Marine combat veteran. He got out and basically

had shitty access to resources, was fucked up. He had a traumatic brain injury. He got out and basically like had shitty access to resources, was fucked up. He had a traumatic brain injury. He got into some trouble with the law. Now they're going to deport that fucking guy to El Salvador because now he has a criminal history. So he's getting deported

to fucking El Salvador. This is a guy with a Statue of Liberty tattoo and fucking two tours with the Marines and a fucking USMC. Like this guy is American. Yeah, we fucked this guy up and now we're just going to send him somewhere else. We Marines and a fucking USMC. Like, this guy's American. Yeah, we fucked this guy up and now we're just going to send him somewhere else. We're going to throw him away. I had no idea.

This is so foolish of me and I'll beg forgiveness for it, but I had no idea that you could join the United States military as a not citizen and then when you come out, that's not a good enough citizen test. Like that's not a good enough citizen test.

That's what DACA is for. That's what DACA is for. The French have the foreign legion. I mean, like the DACA is for, right, it's a perfect example, right? That's a perfect example of a country doing something like that. That's what DACA is for.

It's for the people who want to go to college, who get into college, because you can go to college here too and not be a citizen. And when they graduate, we still can deport them and we still might deport them, right? And then we do the same thing for people who do military service. That is

specifically what DACA is all about. It's all about saying, people who went to college here, guess what? You went to college, you can just become a citizen. Here you go. You just want to be a citizen, just be a citizen. Same thing with people who are, who wind up going through military service. Did you tour military service? Thank you so much.

You're a citizen of the United States now. I literally don't know what the problem is. And the president was the one who took that off. He took it off. He took it off because it was never really put on the books correctly. Obama made a mistake by not putting that on the books the right way. Through legislation. Through legislation. Through legislation. He did it through executive order. And Trump hates everything Obama ever did.

That's number one. But two, he wanted to use it as a bargaining chip. He wanted to use it as a chip to try to say, you're going to do what I say or I'm going to get rid of this. And the Democrats didn't blink and he fucking removed it. He got rid of it. And it's fucking, sorry, that's all gone now. And there's, you know, could you imagine being involved in that program under President Obama and thinking, oh my, all I got to do is just get to the end of this program, right? And then suddenly this asshole gets in there and with this one fucking signature gets rid of it. I'm amazed that like we even have executive action. Yeah. I mean, like that's some King stuff.

Yeah. Like, I thought we didn't have King stuff anymore, right? I think the next president has to start limiting executive power in a serious way. And they have to start putting in teeth to all the things that we look back on what this president did. They have to start really paying attention to gaining money while you're in office. They have to really start paying attention to all the things that this president has exploited and shown that there's no teeth whatsoever and he can basically do whatever he wants and he's 100% free from, they need to get rid of that memo that says you can't indict a sitting president.

They need to fucking get rid of all that shit and say, nope, guess what? Congress says, if you're a president and you fuck up, we can indict you, period. End of story. Yeah, because you know what I want, Cecil? I'm right there with you, man. I want the America that I understood I had from civics class. Right. That's what we were told, right? It was a fucking lie. It was a big fucking lie. This guy has basically taken a fucking dump. He pulled the fucking constitution out of its fucking hermetically sealed case. And he fucking, he backed up like a fucking dog on it. And he's like, and he fucking shat right on it. And then he fucking smeared it all over.

And he's like, what are you going to do, bitches? Boom. And then he walked out to go piss on the fucking Lincoln statue. Just right on his leg. Yeah, give a fuck. And he's done it.

And it's not just one thing. It's dozens of things he's done where you just like, any other person would immediately just be ejected and it doesn't matter.

It doesn't make any difference. I was listening to a podcast I think yesterday or today and it was like, it had a quote, like remember when Howard Dean was like,

Oh yeah, yeah. Ah! You know, and like that ruined his whole career. That was amazing. Like this was a guy who was, he was smart and he was charismatic and he was doing really well.

And then he got excited and was like, like burped or something made a horrible, weird sound. To be fair, it was awesome. It was awesome. Okay. Super weird.

That ruined his career. Now we've got a guy who like, doesn't like, it doesn't make any difference what happens. Literally does not matter what happens. Nothing ruins his career. We're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico.

We're going to California and Texas and New York. And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House. Yeah! That little nothing thing. That little nothing thing.

Ruined his career. Yeah. What happened to him? I think he's at Starbucks now. He gave me like a pumpkin spice latte yesterday. He's bagging groceries at Kroger right now. Because he's like, rah!

Yeah, he one time said, rah! And that's the end of your career. This guy is just like, he's a marshmallow. He does, he's made so many more serious gaps than that just speaking out loud.

And you're just like, and it doesn't matter. He's 100, they're right when they say he's Teflon. 100% Teflon. Nothing sticks to him. And I think it's because of just the, like, this is the one time Howard Dean messed up.

And so everybody sees it and they're like, okay, yeah, one time he messes up and you focus on it. But I guess if you're just a giant fuck up, people don't pay attention to every little fuck up. Dude, that's true. It's like the shitty brother principle, right? Like everybody's shitty brother is like, well, that's all we expect out of him.

Yeah, we don't expect anything else out of him. Jerry's doing crack and he stole my wallet. But you're like, okay, but he didn't light the house on fire. And then he lights the house on fire like, all right, but it didn't spread to the neighbors yet. Yeah, he's on his eighth marriage and he's asking for a bridal shower gift.

I think you're going to see the right kind of militias. What's the wrong kind of militias? Black ones. Maybe it's what you're talking about. Black. Black Panthers. That's true. These guys want all the white people to be armed, right?

Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, that is the wrong kind. But like, sorry, you're congregating. There's more than two of you. Yeah. I'll tell you what. If a bunch of black people have guns, it's a gang. Yep. what, if a bunch of black people have guns, it's a gang. Yep.

Right? If a bunch of white people have guns, it's a militia. It's a militia. Wow, that's different. Huh. In unity with law enforcement, the good law enforcement would- The good law- That's a nice qualifier though.

Admittedly, you're going to need to say that pretty soon. The good law enforcement. Because sometimes we just choke fucking guys to death. Right. For selling cigarettes. We're just like, yeah, we're going to just murder this guy. You know, I read a thing about that. Like, I don't even think he was just trying to break up a fight.

He was a good, like, that Eric Garner guy was just trying to break up a fight. Yeah. Like, that's all that happened. Like, two other people were behaving stupid. Yeah. And he was like breaking up a fight and he got killed for it. That trial, there's a trial for that guy who was just sitting

in his own house doing nothing and got shot and murdered. That's starting very soon. I want to say in the next week. The one that happened, I was in Texas,

I don't know. There's so many police killings nowadays. I don't know. I don't know where they're at. But there was, I mean, he's like literally

just at home. He's just like, could you imagine you're just sitting at home, you're like b just at home. He's just like, could you imagine? You're just sitting at home. You're like binging on fucking Netflix and you're covered in popcorn grease. And you're just like sitting there and you're just like, oh man, I can't wait to watch the new Dave Chappelle. And then boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Like literally out of nowhere, you're just sitting at home, man.

I don't understand why there's a trial around this. I know, right? What's the trial? Because if it's not a cop that kicks your door in. I don't understand why there's a trial around this. I know, right? What's the trial? Because if it's not a cop that kicks your door in, if I just kick somebody's door in and shoot them, I can't be like, well, okay, but it was an oopsie shooting. It's so funny because you're

just like, it's like, okay, well, isn't that, if it's not guilty, isn't that just an indictment in general on how police do their work, period? If it's not guilty, right? If you say, oh, he's not guilty because you're just doing it. Well, then your whole system's fucked. Right? Your whole system is fucked

if it allows a human being to walk into another human being's home just because he had the fucking wrong paperwork and shoot him in the face. What the fuck is wrong with your system? Oh my God, this isn't 863 Main Street? Because I was going to just shoot that guy. There's egg on my face and a little blood.

There's brain on my face. I think our law enforcement are an incredible source of bullets to poor people. They're just... They're a source. They're an overflowing well

of bullets onto people who don't deserve to die. Yeah. You look at those guys in the recent shootings. As soon as the shooting starts, everybody's running for their lives. They're running right into the gunfight. That's right. That's right.

But that's their job. That's why you get a gun on your hip. Like firefighters run at fires. We don't expect civilians to run into a fire, right? Look, I run, I run into work and I run right at that video that I have to edit.

That's what I do, right? It's like, like what the fuck? Like you just do your job. That's your job. You signed up for it. Nobody, that's not fucking, nobody conscripted you

to be a fucking cop. You said, you went to a school. You said, yes, you signed a thing. You get compensated and then you eventually get a pension. Like, if you ever decide you don't want to do it, you can quit. It's not like a lifelong fucking appointment. Yeah.

We have this like thing where we take these people that do difficult work that requires them to put themselves in harm's way. And then we pretend like everything involving that job is heroic, that every single action is heroic because at some point they may do something heroic possibly. But like this, that's a, that's nonsense. That's,

that's this sort of like get out of responsibility free card because your life is harder than my life. But you made your life that way because that is attractive to you. That's something that like, let's be honest, like you do that work because you kind of get off on it. That's okay that you kind of get off on it. Somebody needs to do that work. But like, don't pretend that there's nothing in it for you, that you're some reluctant hero conscripted, like you said, against your will into, oh, I can't believe they put the battle helmet on me and what am I going to do? I know, right?

You look at those, I mean, they are incredible. But I think there's going to be a militia movement that unites. White people. There almost certainly is already, buddy. Is open about what they're doing and all, but they're going to be trained and prepared to defend their communities. And if Christians don't get involved in things like that, wrong people will get in.

Yeah, that's right. Like Jews. Who are the wrong people in America where 70% identify as Christian? And he's talking about it being like fucking white supremacists, right? He's saying, oh, white supremacists, you want to know white supremacists are a majority Christian. You know what I mean? Like,

and they use that, they use the Bible as a fucking tool to propagate the bullshit hate that they have like that. Like you think about, you think about these, you know, don't get me wrong. There's plenty of atheists,

racists out there. Don't get me wrong. I'm not, I mean, fucking racist coming. Absolutely. Right. I mean, fucking. Racists come in every religion. Absolutely. Right. But, but you want to talk about somebody who can use a fucking imaginary fucking book to, to wield their fucking hate against other people. It's the Christians when it comes to white supremacy. If you're organized around racism, you're Christian. I don't think there are any

exceptions to that that I've ever seen. Yeah, right. I think you're probably right. And I could be wrong, but if there are exceptions, they're exceptions that still prove the rule because the vast majority, if you're an organized racist group, that's a Christian group. At least a religious group. I think there's also some organized Muslim. Sure. I think

you're probably right. Christians need to get in to set the court. No, we're not going to just attack other racist or other racists. Play it again. Did we just say that aloud? Did we just say that aloud? We're not this. We're not going to just attack other racist or

we're not going to attack other racist. We're going to be racist on ourself. We're going to join forces with other racists. That's the militia movement. He just said it. We're not going to attack just other racists. Yeah, no. Yeah.

Why would we do that? We like limiting ourselves to other. We'll attack. There's no limit to the people we'll attack. Just keep attacking people. Not just the other racists. As a group of racists. I love when these guys accidentally say the truth it's

so great you know races or things like that where we're we're here to defend and uh defend who against what that's the thing is like you just leaves it vague right and that's and that's the power of this bullshit religion is that you can because the fucking book is a choose your own adventure book and the fucking, every fucking sermon they've ever given is a choose your own adventure sermon.

It's like, it's like the people who get afraid when they read H.P. Lovecraft because it's using your own imagination because he doesn't explain anything. He's like,

it was the most horrible thing I'd ever seen. And you're just like, okay, but what was it? It was so horrible, your eyes bled when you saw it. You forgot what geometry was

and you're just like I don't know what that means like that doesn't mean anything but it's one of those things where it's just like oh it's gonna leave your own imagination and it's like

oh they're gonna defend it's like oh yeah yes whatever you said yes and you're just like yeah well let's if you're a fucking idiot

yeah sure I guess you could follow that around but if you're just like defend us from what Bill what are we talking about Dave or whatever your name is Phil Rick Antonio I don't know your name I guess you could follow that around. But if you're just like, defend us from what, Bill? What are we talking about? Dave or whatever your name is? Phil?

Rick? Antonio? I don't know your name. Like how many brigands attacked you today? We always go back to this. Like there has not been a pirate sighting. When there is one, when there is one, I'm going to text you. Thank you.

I can't wait. Oh, dude. I found a pilot. I'm going to fucking, even if I'm driving, I'm still sending a photo. Get a selfie with your fucking highway robbers. I'm sending a photo to you for sure. The guy takes over my car. He's like,

I'm the captain now. But if Christians have to get engaged in this, Jesus himself said, there's a time to sell your coat and buy a sword. Yeah, it's during the spring sword sale because you don't need your coat anymore. Swords are cheap and you want to sell it coat and buy a sword. Yeah, it's during the spring sword sale because you don't need your coat anymore.

Swords are cheap and you want to sell it for that. That's a lot of coats on Poshmark. Should I have a sword? Just like, what's going on right now?

You walk in, you walk in and to the Goodwill and you're just like, hey, you got any swords? No, we're all out.

We got a lot of fucking coats. Got a shit ton of coats over here. the swords just went out the door. God. You know what? The world would be better if we had swords again, though.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, if we could get rid of the guns, but everybody had swords instead. Like, because now that shit's for real. Yeah. Now it's like, I'm serious, though.

I've heard this before. I've heard that a bladed armed society is a polite society. I think it's a lot. If Cecil, if you and I are going to get into it, and I can't stand 30 yards away from you, and be like, surprise, boom, you're dead. I got you faster.

If you got a sword and I have a sword, I have to look at you and be like, well, maybe I'll get stabbed. Well, that doesn't seem good to me. There's an amazing movie called The Duelists. And it's the biggest guy movie out there. It's basically these two guys get into a fight and then they fight multiple times throughout the movie.

Neither of them kills the other. And they fight each other throughout this movie. Once they fight with a small sword, they fight with saber at the end. And they also duel with pistols at one point. So they duel three times. I think it's three times in the movie.

Why are they so mad at each other? I don't even remember, to be honest with you. Jesus, hug and hug. Probably a girl. I don't know. But in any case,

my favorite part of the whole movie is the small sword fight. The small sword fight's a minute long. They stand there. They fight. And it's Harvey Keitel.

And I don't know who the other actor is. So it's Harvey Keitel versus another guy. And they're fighting ting, ting, ting. And Harvey Keitel hits him don't know who the other actor is so it's Harvey Keitel versus another guy and they're fighting ting ting ting and Harvey Keitel hits him

pierces his lung it's like a fucking one move it's like boom boom boom and he pierces the guy's lung and he steps away and the guy starts spitting up blood

and then they walk up and he's like and the guy can't he clearly can't continue right he's got a fucking hole through his lung and Harvey Keitel's like

can he continue and his second is like no he can't continue he hopes that we can just call this Harvey Keitel's like, can he continue? And his second is like, no, he can't continue. He hopes that we can just call this off. And he's like, one little touch and he can't continue. And he stomps off. The guy's coughing a blood. And you're just like, and it's a perfect example of how nobody, if you saw that one time

happen, you would just be like, man, I don't care what you do. You can do whatever you want. I don't care. You'd be like, be mean. I'll be like, that's fine. I'm just going to go over here and let you be mean. You just go ahead and be mean. Cause man, you would never want to get in one of those fights.

One of those fights where you're just like, yeah, my hanky is full of blood. Cause my lung is pierced. Nobody wants that. No. Yeah. Everybody's a tough guy.

When the, when the, when the violence is from me to you. Right. Right. Right. But when the violence is equal and reciprocal, all of a sudden,

it's the same, it's literally the same reason that like everybody's a tough guy in their car. Yeah. Right? Right. Flipping everybody off

and it's like, I got 3,000 pounds of steel around me. But you stand in line next to people and people are afraid to tap you on the shoulder to tell you

that you cut in line. Yep. Right? We're way more polite when the possibility of violence is reciprocal and immediate. We don't need more guns.

Maybe we need to trade our fucking jackets in for swords. Let's have a buyback for assault weapons. Tradesies. And we'll just get rapiers. No, that's the Me Too movement. I said rapiers,

not rapers you name your sword Harvey Weinstein I carry a Harvey Weinstein over here on my side there's somebody out there Cecil who named his penis Harvey and is like oh I regret that my other sword is Bill Cosby that was the weapon of their day.

And there's a time. There's a time in Ecclesiastes 3. There's a time for everything. There's a time for pink jelly beans. There's a time for dandelions popping the heads off. Yeah, there's a time for everything. Yeah, that's great. I hope that they listed all the everything too. There's a time for everything. So that includes, of up, Daniel. Like, yeah, there's a time for everything. Yeah, that's great. I hope that they listed all the everything too.

Like there's a time for everything. So that includes, of course, malicious, whatever he wants. That includes like drowning babies. Really? Just think of something awful. That's included in everything. Well, they already did that in Noah.

We don't want to come back to that. There's a time for war and there's a time for peace. Listen, we're entering a time for war and we need to mobilize appropriately, rightly, not in darkness, not in fear, but in faith.

In faith. I'm totally not afraid of anything, which is why I have all these guns. And that's why I surrounded myself with other people with guns, because I'm not afraid. Hey, boys, look what I got here. Hey, where are the white women at? This is from the BBC, but it's also from fucking everywhere, because it hit the white women at this is from the BBC but it's also from fucking everywhere

because it hit the all of it this last week or so and this and this story has resolved since then so it initially blew up and then it resolved

right after the tweet went out well didn't it well hold on let's read the story so Mississippi wedding venue refuses interracial pair over owner's Christian faith

and I think what the person says it's captured on video and what the person actually says it's captured on video, and what the person actually says is important because you don't want to mistake what they actually said. So what they said is, first of all,

we don't do gay weddings or mixed race. You remember that meme with Robin Williams? He's like, what year is it? When I hear that, I'm just like, what year is it? What happened? Did I hear that, I'm just like, what year is it? What happened? Did I go back in time? Mixed race.

Are you serious right now? It's fucking incredible. Like, it's like we've talked about. You can use that book. And that book has been used. Anti-miscegenation laws. Unbelievable. Been justified by that fucking nonsense forever.

Oh, God. And then she says, why not? And she says, because of our Christian, I love this, because of our Christian race. I mean, our Christian beliefs. Because of our Christian race? Because of our Christian race. And what she's saying is, well, because white people. Yeah.

And I'm one of those. And you're not all one of those when you're marrying one of them black folks or whatever. Yeah. one of those when you're marrying one of them black folks or whatever. And then she rolls it back because she says she comes back and says in a post the owner said this person had said that she had been taught as a child that people were meant to stay

within your own race. But after consulting with her pastor, she now realized that nothing in the Bible prohibited interracial marriages. She continued, to all those I offended, hurt, or felt condemn, I guess it'd be condemned, by my statement, I truly apologize to you for my ignorance and not knowing the truth about this. My intent was never racism, but to stand firm on what I assumed was right concerning marriage. And, you know, this is, in my opinion, this is a huge indictment against religion in general

right because she was taught this there's two things one she's taught this as a religious tenant right

she's taught this as a child as a religious tenant like we don't mix race because that's what the bible says yeah you know so clearly you're fucking

you're using your religion for racism right but then also just the idea that you would you would be okay with hurting another people

because your religion says so is also another indictment on religion, how bad it is. No, like, what it does is it makes her beliefs not subject

to her own personal criticism about whether they match her internal moral structure. Right, right, right. So it's like, and it also makes them just inflexible. Sure.

It's like, well, that's a thing I know is true and I don't think about it. And it's not something I can look somebody in the eye and feel about to decide if, like, it's just, and then also like you have a world now where it's like, well, I thought it was part of the religion. I don't even know my own fucking faith well enough.

Yeah. I don't even, like, I just, and part of the thing is that we've conflated a whole bunch of ideas about how the world works. We've conflated racism with religious ideas. If you bundle it under that umbrella, you can take whatever worldview you want to continue generationally and say like, okay, I want this to never be questioned. Make it a religious idea. Bound it, bind it up with a bunch of religious prescriptions. And now that's a set of ideas that will generationally move forward.

And then most people are never going to talk about or criticize or ask questions about. Yeah, absolutely. Let me say something about Harry Potter. Warlocks are enemies of God. And I don't care what kind of hero they are. They're an enemy of God. And had it been in the Old Testament, Harry Potter would have been put to death. You don't make heroes out of warlocks.

This is fucking amazing. Holy shit. Cecil, this story is from The Guardian. And I seriously had to check the timestamp on this article twice. It's 2008 again, kids. Harry Potter books. Yeah, these books are old, right? These books are super, super old.

Like you could have birthed a kid and the kid could be reading these books right now. Yeah, the last book, 2007. The first, so the movie came out, for the first book came out in 2001. Yeah, the last book came out in 2007. Yeah, the first one was published in 2001. Yeah. The last book came out in 2007. Yeah. The first one was published in 1997. Yeah. So the first one's published in 1997. You could have like a 20-year-old kid. Right. 20-year-olds could have this. Some of they're just now getting around to this. Here's

the story. Harry Potter books removed from Catholic school on exorcist advice. Exorcists are giving educational advice. I love this so much. Was the exorcist removed from these schools? Well, this is what I love. I want to read some of these because I don't know anything about Harry Potter. I don't know too much. I did watch six of the movies. And so I know that much, but I never read any of the books, but I want to read. So I found a couple of spells and I want to read these and I want you to pay attention because sort of of the roots of these spells. So I don't know if I'm gonna pronounce these right, but a CEO, I guess, or Accio, The summoning charm is a direct translation from the Latin meaning I summon. Avada Kavara is an ancient spell in Aramaic. It's the original of abracadabra.

That's another spell they use. Expelliarmus, Rowling took liberty on this one, combining the Latin words expello, meaning I drive away or banish, and arma, meaning weapons. Lumos is taken from Latin with lumen, which means light or lamp. Nox is Latin for night. Obliviate, this spell is used to erase memories in the victim and has roots in medieval Latin. I forget. Petrificius totalis. That's

awesome, by the way. That's fucking amazing. A combination of three words, Greek, petros, meaning rock and stone, Latin, facio or facio, meaning to make or to cause to happen and medieval Latin, totalis, meaning the entire. Stupify has its roots in Latin as well to be stunned or astonished. And wingardium leviosa. Wingardium leviosa.

God, these are amazing, by the way. The second part comes from the Latin or levis, light. It means, meaning lightweight. So that's what the second part comes from. I just want the Catholics to realize something. The reason why we have Protestants is Latin. I know. That's why we have Protestants, right?

You guys should be embracing Latin. That's why we have Protestants, right? You guys should be embracing Latin. That's what caused the Protestants in the first place is embracing Latin. I love that like, so this exorcist was worried that these books contained real spells? Yeah. Real fucking spells. First of all,

as if there's real magic spells. Yeah. Like that you could say words that are going to cause somebody to levitate. I love that you can say things in an order and cause a fucking magic thing to happen. We believe that magic's so important. That's fucking amazing. There's still a school which is like,

well, that's a good point. We hadn't considered whether or not that word would make spells happen. Also, your fucking god is weak sauce because you have to actually go to him as sort of a middleman to make spells happen. Also, your fucking God is weak sauce because you have to actually go to him as sort of a middleman to make shit happen. All I have to do is just say fucking out of a car of fucking wing arm

or whatever the fuck. And I can fucking fly and shoot shit out of my ass or whatever the fuck happens in these books. Like all I have to do is say words in order and I get powers. That's way better than being like, mother, may I please? Fuck that.

Why do we have technology at all? I know, right? If magic was real. If magic works. You'd be like, well, we could fly. Well, shit, we'd have to invent an airplane

and then build upon all the, or we could just Wingardium Leviosa ourselves around. There's a reason we don't do that. That's because it's not real, but I love your point

that the Catholics are scared of the one thing they fought so hard to protect, which is Latin. Fucking Latin. Didn't they do the masses in Latin exclusively for many hundreds and hundreds of years? And Martin Luther translated the Bible, not from Latin, I think he did it from Greek, into German. And that's what the big deal was. He was like, no, I want the regular people to be able to understand it, not just people who can read Latin, the priests who can read Latin.

I want the regular person to be able to understand it. And so that was the big controversy. And then he fucking nailed a bunch of shit to a wall and he fucking said, Expleliarmus, and he walked away.

I love this. I also, like, I just wonder if this exorcist is just now getting around. Like, okay, I haven't watched, this wasn't, Harry Potter and the Hunger Games were both on my list of things to do. I've been a little behind in my fucking reading. Next week, he's going to ban the Blair Witch Project.

What else is on your list? Are people watching Three's Company? Are you kidding me? We don't like Mr. Furley around here. This sister here has an amazing testimony. She owed some money for taxes, and she wrote you, and you told her to anoint her house with the miracle spring water, and what happened?

We got over $35,000 in miracle money. You got over $35,000 in miracle money? Just like you told her. Just like you told her. Call now for a personal prophetic word and the powerful miracle spring water. All right, so this story is

fucking everything. It's from the Daily Mail. Grandfather, who believes the inoperable cancer that left him unable to walk was cured by holy water at Lourdes, will have his claim of a miracle tested by doctors.

That is... Can we do air quotes around doctors, though? Doctors. Can we do that? Can we do air quotes around headlines? That was a fucking paragraph.

Let's do air quotes around, let's see, miracle and doctors for sure. And holy. Yeah, let's do air quotes around, let's see, miracle and doctors for sure. And holy. Yeah, let's do that too. We probably have to do air quotes around cancer. And cured. Right.

We'll have to do it around a lot of things here. Just the whole thing. Let's just do it all. I'm not even sure if he's a grandfather. Did we get paternity testing involved? I have, okay, so Lords, if you're unfamiliar with Lords is, they've got that great song, Royals.

I like that song. Solid song. I know it's popular, but I like it. It's a good song. It's a good, she does a little acapella thing going on there. It's very nice. But no, Lords is a place in France, I want to say.

It's maybe it's, I don't know, whatever. It's probably in France. It sounds like it's in France. Sounds like French. But in any case, it's a place where there's a, like a spring and they said that it cures people. It's a in France. It sounds like it's in France. Sounds like French. But in any case, it's a place where there's like a spring and they said that it cures people. It's a miracle spring. And they've said that, you know,

a bunch of people have been cured. It said, I think it said around a hundred, I'm going to read directly from the article, around a hundred people claim to be miraculously healed from the water at Lourdes every year. Although the Catholic church has only certified 70 miracles linked to this. Only 70 miracles total linked to the site.

Well, it's 70 certified. Some of them were pre-owned. They were pre-owned. So they weren't. Do you have to have like a fucking Vatican body wizard check you out to make sure? He's like, yep, that's real. That's a real miracle. So I've worked with

Catholic religious people, priests and nuns. And I will say this. I don't know that I've met with Catholic religious people, priests and nuns. And I will say this, I don't know that I've met any that have not rolled their eyes when someone says Lords. When somebody says, they just roll their eyes.

They know it's just a money grab. They know it's just, they're just, they'll sell fucking tchotchkes and fucking like water. And it's just a total money grab. Just desperate people. That's all it is. It's just, you get desperate people up there and every, I don't know anybody. Just desperate people. That's all it is.

It's just, you get desperate people up there and every, I don't know anybody. And I know, don't get me wrong. I know there are true believers out there. And when I worked with religious people, they were very liberal religious people, right? So they worked in a higher ed. So they're very religious, liberal religious people.

So I'm not saying that everybody, every Catholic rolls their eyes at it, but I am going to say the ones that I've encountered have. And they just, they don't believe, they're just like, that's bullshit. And you know, it's funny because they'll be given lectures or whatever, and the fun, the other part when everybody rolls their eyes is when someone in the audience will ask like, so what were the

saints' miracles? And you're just like, everybody's just like, oh my God. But you know, there's a couple people who care about that, right? They're like, oh, so what do they do? Oh, one time they fucking made somebody stand up and fucking act like a marionette or whatever the fuck. They fucking all this weird shit.

But one of the things that they do to canonize people a lot is- Which always sounds like it's going to hurt. It does. You got it. You're like Super Dave Osborne

canonized to a big bed of mattresses. But when they canonize somebody, they have to have three miracles for them to be canonized. That's so random. I know, isn't it? Like you have two miracles,

you're like, fuck. I'm sorry, you can only be beatified. You can't be canonized. But in any case, that's what they do. And so this is another thing where they go to the lords

and then they check these people out. And this guy is saying that his cancer has spontaneously gone away because he fucking drank some water from a fucking spring.

But like, the thing is like, he went to lords when he was a teenager. Yeah. So like, and he's 71 right now. Yeah.

So 50 some years, like at least 52 years Right, right. after he went to lords. Yeah. So what the fucking, either that's like a miracle that happened and then like he just sat on for five decades or it's a miracle that percolated for

five decades like i don't what the fuck is happening he had it and then the the stuff just sort of was in his system and the moment he got the cancer it's like oh cancer is here it didn't prevent it but it allowed it to happen so it could cure it. So he would know. Right. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. It's like smart water. You were smart. You'd get a different fucking water than going to Southwestern. Actually, I want to take that back because that's mean. And the only thing I want to be mean about are the fucking predators who are selling to sick people a false hope, which is just mean. It's so mean. It's the meanest. Like, if you want any evidence

that the Catholic Church is just a bunch of cruel motherfuckers, like, think about what they're doing. They've created a market. It's not like they're giving this shit away. Like you said, it's tchotchkes. No, it's this fucking get out of death free water. Right.

It's not get out of debt. It's get out of death. When you are like, when you're looking at somebody who is desperate and you're saying like, I bet I could sell him something. There's some way to exploit this person. Yeah.

And they're doing it. They're fine. They found a way to do it. You know, it says here, the doctors confirm Mr. Steffen's claim. If the doctors confirm Mr. Steffen's claim or Steppen's claim, he will be the first Briton to have his cure verified.

And this means that God's rewarding us for Brexit. I think that's the case. The no deal Brexit. Although that was voted down recently. It was voted down. Boris lost that. Boris Yeltsin or whatever the guy's name is. What is going on over there?

I don't even know. Brexit is never going to happen. Brexit is so crazy. It was like, when I saw they were going to do that no deal Brexit, my feed just blew up because I have a bunch of people from the UK on my Facebook feed and it just blew up and people would just be like, what the fuck is happening?

But they finally got their shit together and said no, you can't even do that. We're not even going to do that. We're not even going to let you do that shit. Whose fault was it? Her fault. Whose fault was it? Her fault. Her fault. Who led them on? Her fault. Her fault. Her fault. Her fault. Who led them on?

She did. She did. She did. She did. She did. She did. Why did God allow such a terrible thing to happen? Teach us a lesson. Let's hear it.

Teach us a lesson. Teach us a lesson. What is she? She's a whore. She's a whore. Whore. Whore. She's a whore! She's a whore! Whore! Whore! Whore!

Whore! Whore! Whore! Whore! All right, from Right Wing Watch, this is fucking unbelievable. It would be unbelievable if it wasn't Josh Bernstein Bears.

Christine Blossie Ford was a man-crazy, soon-to-be whore who assaulted Brett Kavanaugh. Well, that's anavanaugh. Well, that's an interesting claim. Okay, guys, sorry. Let's take a look at what he's talking about here. This is Josh Berenstain

from his show. Christine Blasey Ford, I said at the time that she was likely the aggressor. Here's what probably happened. Brett Kavanaugh and her knew each other when they were younger. I like this as a probably happened thing.

Like he's just like, okay, so this is what I wrote down in my fantasy book. Right, yeah, this is fan fiction. This is total fan fiction. This is Brett Kavanaugh fucking fan fiction. This is Chuck Tingle does Brett Kavanaugh. She liked Brett Kavanaugh.

She had a crush on him, whatever, right? He said, not a chance, pimple face. Ain't gonna happen. And she... That he's... Okay. So, I just think,

I just personally, when you call somebody pimple face, I think it's one of those projection things. I think he's jealous because he looks like a naked mole rat. He does.

He looks... He's the smoothest human being I've ever seen. He's like somebody took a shit and took all the pigment out of it. Like that's what he looks like. And he's, and he would beg for any kind of feature, a single feature. It doesn't matter what it is. If it's a pimple, great.

An eyebrow? Doesn't, yeah. He would take any, any feature. He would take it. This is a guy who like, he comes up with this, this uh this fantasy world where like because he's projecting a world where like so many women are attracted to him that he's pushing them away like playing pixies choosies and only selecting the most attractive the most beautiful women right because that's the world he wants to be real yeah and he wants to live in never mind that he's a skinny

bald guy who still has a double chin. Yeah. Right? Nobody has, he's never turned anybody down because nobody's ever expressed a proactive sexual interest in Josh Bernstein.

He genuinely looks like a face carved in a rotten apple. Like of all the people we've ever seen, he looks like, he looks like a melty jack-o'-lantern. He's an ugly, ugly, and I love the fact, I love the fact that he's calling other people ugly. You're just like, no, you're a hideous dude.

You're a hideous, horrible looking dude. And it's fucking 100% amplified by the fact that you're an absolutely monstrous human being. She didn't like that. So she got mad. She never got a revenge. She went and did her own thing, academia, whatever. And then- Oh, yeah. She went and did her own thing, academia, whatever. And then-

Oh, yeah. She went and did her own thing, academia. Got like a PhD and then became a fucking professor. Not like me. I've got a YouTube channel. She's not a big success like me. And you know what she did is she had this career and then she was just like, you know what I want to do?

I want assholes like this to fucking talk about me for the rest of my life. So I went out and, and, and put myself on the line for this. Cause you know, that's exactly what fucking happened. Right. Death threats, assholes like this can't get her fucking name out of their mouth. That's what happened. Well, this is a guy too that like he, I think he comes up with a story like this because you know, in his mind, the idea that you would be rejected by somebody would be so hurtful that you would still nurse that wound decades later. Right. Yeah. Because that's a world he understands. He's an insult. You, right. You only write a story like this because you're like, this is how I understand the world to be. Right. Right. Well, yeah, man,

like maybe for you being rejected would be a cause for fucking the big feels for fucking 40 years. And you would harbor that resentment and plot your revenge for 40 years. Who wants revenge when somebody's not into them? I mean, like, people have been not into me. And I've been like, all right, well, I'll be into somebody else. Like, even there's been times where I've been like, that kind of sucks. But like, all right, move on.org. You're never plotting revenge

because somebody doesn't want your dick. Absolutely. I remember, I remember when I was, when I was younger, I had, there was a couple of girls I know for sure

that I was totally into and I became friends with them and I knew that they weren't going to be into me and I just, I couldn't, it was hard to remove those feelings, but I never pursued them after that.

I was like, you know what? They're not into me. That's it. That's the way it works. And you know, that's how never pursued them after that. I was like, you know what? They're not an enemy. That's it. That's the way it works. And you know, that's how, that's, I'm not going to go, but I still was friends with them after the fact

and like knew them after the fact. Because that's what fucking reasonable people do. It's not like, it's not like I was just like, immediately the moment I was rejected, be like, oh man, you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to spend my whole life not paying attention to my life, but paying attention to their life.

And then I'm going to work myself up into some kind of area so I could actually hurt them in the future. I'm going to plan like what kind of shitty, awful person do you have to be to be like, you know what? 20 years after the fact, I want to go back and really, really hurt this person. What is this like count of Monte Cristo? I know shit. It really is. Like some crazy revenge fantasy. I'm like in high school and you're like, I'm kind of into you. Yeah, I'm not into it. I'm going to practice every day of my life sword fighting or whatever. Yeah, whatever it is.

I'm going to practice staring into a camera like a naked mole rat for 20 years. And then I'll get back at you. That's so crazy. He went to the highest court in the land and she wanted revenge. And if anything happened, which I highly doubt it ever did, she- But if it did,

let me tell this crazy story about it. But if it did, it definitely happened the way I'm going to tell you with no evidence whatsoever. So just so you know, I'm going to preface it that way. I wasn't there,

but my imagination is. I astrally projected into the room was the aggressor. Now, right wing watch attacked me back then saying that Josh Bernstein says that Christine Blasey Ford was the aggressor. Well, guess what? Here we are a year later and I stand by that statement. I stand by that lie. God damn it.

I stand by the fiction I created. I lied about it a year ago. I stand by that lie. God damn it. I stand by the fiction I created. I lied about it a year ago and by gum, I'm lying about it now. I'm going to keep lying about it. I'm just going to keep going. Guys, you can't stop me from lying about this. I could double down on my imaginary world. She's the one that was the floozy. She's the one that went to that all girls school that literally were man crazy little soon to be whores. This guy is starting his penthouse letter right now. That's what this is. This is, so she went to this, I knew this young lady who went to this man, crazy whore, Christian girl school, whore school, whore school. I don't think whoring takes a whole lot of extra edge. It doesn't. Post-secondary ed.

Really, you could probably do it with like a one-day course. You get certified pretty quickly. You could take a twerk shop on that. Yeah, twerk shop. Sorry, that's so bad. Okay, you can see the yearbook, all the pictures, all the parties. All the pictures

of these slutty girls with their faces, their portraits just staring at you, just looking at you saying best wishes on your fucking college career. K-I-T. You're like, what? All these girls at their parties. I like when Brett Kavanaugh goes to these parties,

it's a boys will be boys, right? Brett Kavanaugh goes to parties and gets drunk and drinks beer, does all this shit and everybody's like, Whoa! Lift weights. My bros.

Lift the weights of my bros. I wrote in my calendar like all cool people do. I had a really extensive calendar and I handed it over to all of you and it clearly was a doctor. I say it's like

when he goes to parties, it's like, that's cool. Boys will be boys. If girls have a party, it's slut times. We're in a whore college? Yeah.

They're having a squirting competition. And then they all had their pillow fights at their sorority house. And if you would like to have a squirting competition, you can go to adamandeve.com, type in Gloria at checkout,

get 50% off almost any item, a bunch of free stuff and free shipping. Gloria at checkout. All the disgusting things that they were doing and saying and dressing like. So they were the aggressors. It was those horny girls. Because that's how the world works. Yeah, because everybody knows women's libido is way worse than men. Well, yeah, there's a bunch of fucking college-age girls who are like,

we just want to fuck. And all these guys are like, oh, no, not us. Heaven forbid. I don't want to have sex with those college girls. I'm just a chaste young man. I don't even want to put my finger in it. What world do you live in? All these guys are fanning themselves off around the girls like,

whatever will I do? Someone save me. Save me from these brutish women. It's just because nobody would fuck him. Oh my God. Are you serious right now? It's just all because nobody would fuck him. Every single one of these guys, the moment a girl winks at him, they drop trow God. Are you serious right now? Nobody would fuck him. Every single one of these guys,

the moment a girl winks at him, they drop trowel. Are you kidding me? The moment, I mean, seriously, there is nobody more ready than a teenage boy.

Right. Like at any moment, like you could fucking play fucking ring toss. All you got to do is just look and be like, ring toss the bag. Ba-dum!

Jesus. At that girl's school that were the aggressors against the males, and in particular Brett Kavanaugh. And I'll go back on record a year later and I'll say the same thing and I'll double, triple, and quadruple

down. How do you like that? He said the same thing! He actually two-upped you, though. Because you just said double down. He triple and quadruple downtown. If he double dog dares me, my tongue is going to be stuck in his pole. Motels, models.

How do you find them loyal? Hey, Jared, you ever seen one? What do you mean? That wasn't... Yeah. No, you? Yeah. What'd you think? I had no face, no personality.

This story's also from the Daily Mail. This is fucked up, man. This is a crazy story. So, pharmacist 70 is spared jail after posing as mother of 11-month-old boy so he could be circumcised without his parents' consent. This story's fucking crazy. Like, parents leave their kid their baby not even 11 month old yeah you know with this woman and this woman's like cool well the kid's not circumcised so here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna drive this kid across to fucking north london or whatever

i'm gonna pretend to be this kid's mother i'm gonna bring somebody with who's gonna pretend to be the father i'm gonna take the kid to bring somebody with who's going to pretend to be the father. I'm going to take the kid to a Jewish mohel and I'm going to sign the paperwork and have the kid circumcised because I'm religious and it's important to my religion that my not my kid

has part of his body cut off for Jesus. Jesus Christ. Could you imagine coming home to that? You're just like, look, I left you with a full fridge. I left you with a full penis. I come home, the fridge is empty. The kid's dick is gone. What's going on? What's going on here? I seriously, though, when I read the story, I was just blown away. My mouth just wide open. Like, I can't believe that someone would be like, well, checked his dick,

still got a foreskin. Need to get rid of that or I can't watch him. What? Who thinks this is going to go well? Like, oh man, those parents are going to be so happy when they get home and see how well the weekend went. Could you imagine if you went away and you had a Doberman Pinscher and you came home

and its tail was docked? Right. Right? I mean, like, and this is, and that's just a dog, right? That's just a dog. It's just a tail, right? It's not the fucking,

the thing that's going to possibly give that person pleasure when they get older, right? It's just a dog. It's just a tail, right? It's not the fucking, the thing that's going to possibly give that person pleasure when they get older, right? It's just a tail. But how furious would you be if somebody did that to your dog, right? If they docked your dog's tail or they did the thing with the ears or whatever. I think you have to do that when that's a puppy. But anyway, you know what I mean? Like if they did something cosmetically to your dog or your cat, you'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's the parents. If anyone has a right to make a decision around that, it is not the fucking babysitter.

The babysitter does not have carte blanche to make cosmetic medical procedures like decisions. Right. You're not going to be like, oh, I came back and you got my like

14-year-old breast implants while we were out. Yeah. That's a crazy thing to think. Yeah. And the thing is like this woman who did this, she got away with it. Yeah. That's a crazy thing to think. Yeah. And the thing is like, this woman who did this, she got away with it.

Yeah. She got 18 months suspended sentence. Suspended, yeah. And the judge was like, well, obviously this was really religiously important to you. That makes me crazy

that the fucking, they could do that. That they would be like, yeah, well just, yeah, that'll be fine. You know, it's religious. That's happened many times with these judges in the UK.

Right. Where they're just like, yeah, it's super religious for you and that's okay. And that feels like where you're just like, what the fuck, man? That person had their fucking cut part of the kid's dick off because they didn't like it. Yep. The family had already made the decision. The family had already made the decision two or three days. Like you said, two or three days after, they've already made that decision

to say no. Right. It's not going to be circumcised. And now you're like, yeah, no, what I'm going to do is I'm going to fucking circumcise this kid.

And you're like, well, fucking the family already fucking, they've already closed that book. Right. And also, the reason we do it that early is because it's the least,

if you're going to do it, it's the least traumatizing time to do it. Sure. Like, 11 months old, it's not the same thing anymore. It's like, if I get a fucking operation, like, I'm going to remember that Sure. Like, 11 months old, it's not the same thing anymore. It's like if I get a fucking operation,

like, I'm going to remember that shit. Yeah, yeah. Like, as you go on in your life, it's not the same thing. Like, babies are born, they're fucking still

little potato things. They don't form memories yet. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's less traumatizing. As we go on further in our life, it's more traumatizing when shit happens to us.

Yeah, yeah. The whole thing is terrible. Yeah, and I just, to get away with it because of religion is just a horror. So, we are not going to do email this week. We're recording a little early. I think next time we're going to have a guest. I'm not sure 100%, but I'm pretty sure next time we're going to

have a guest, and it should be a lot of fun. We're hoping, you know, fingers crossed we'll keep the guest and it'll be a good time. But until then, we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Couched in Scientician Double bubble Toil and trouble Pseudo Quasi alternative Acupunctuating Pressurized

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