Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 490: Snake News

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

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Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is a moat full of snakes this is maybe this is episode 490 of cognitive distance you don't know that that's

true there you know what cecil i don't know what's true anymore i'm not that's the rub isn't it because i live in a post-truth world. There can be alternative snakes. That's the rub. Alternative snakes. It's snake noose. I don't even know where to stop. Snake noose.

Oh, no. Snake noose. Oh, Jesus. Well, you're not supposed to step on them. That's for sure. God damn it. You know, it'd be amazing if we had just, like, we surrounded the country with a don't step on

me snake just all over. Just all over. Like, one big striped don't step on me. Is it, like, in pieces, though? So, like, the migrants just sneak in through the little pieces. Just make it concrete. Oh, shit. We'll get to that.

We'll get to this week in Trump later. We have been having, we think, a good balance of shoving Trump toward near the end of the show and just talking about him as briefly as we can. Right. You can't ignore it. You can't ignore it.

But we could easily, I mean, we could right now spend the entire episode talking about this Ukraine thing. We could easily do it. Oh, for sure. Easily, easily. We could probably spend the next three months

talking about the Ukraine thing. But it turns out it's better if we just force ourselves to get through it quickly. And then I feel better about the show after it's over because we've talked about other stuff. I do too. It's sort of like any unpleasant thing,

like ripping off a bandaid or like jumping in the pool or like having sex with me. Like just get it over quick. Get it over fast. And just like close your eyes and think of the queen. Whatever you can do to weather this storm. All right. So let's start with this story from Right Wing Watch.

Betsy DeVos slams union bullies. Also known as teachers. What is this world? Union bullies. What is this world? I'm thinking of my third grade teacher. What is this world? I'm thinking of like my third grade teacher. She's like, my third grade teacher was a woman named Mrs. Winky.

I'm not even kidding. She's a bully. Here's the thing though. Here's the thing though. I know a couple of public school teachers in Chicago and they are straight up thugs. Oh, they'll fuck you up. They are straight up thugs. Right, yeah.

So I get, I get like, like don't bring that weak shit here to boss. Don't come, don't come try to cross some picket line in Chicago because you'll get fucking owned, right? But, but you could say that shit about, you know, but you're right. Like I grew up with Mr. Garrity.

Mr. Garrity was the sweetest old man in the world. I had the same first grade teacher as my dad. Did you really? I did. Yeah, I went to the same school. So I had the same first grade teacher as my dad. She's a million years old. Right.

And she was so nice. Yeah. And the idea that she's a bully. She's like some sort of thug. Not happening. Not happening. Not happening. Betsy DeVos slams union bullies for opposing her plan to send federal tax dollars to private and religious schools. So this is a reference to the voucher system.

Exactly. Right. And so we've talked about the voucher system before. So here's how public schools work in America. If you happen to be one of our overseas listeners, right? Typically, you pay a bunch of money in property taxes. A portion of that money then is a school tax. It goes to fund the local public school. And then all the kids that live

within a district, and again, not every area works exactly like this, but all the kids within a certain district then have access to the resources, the educational resources of that district as funded by the taxes from that school there's always a shortfall and for some fucking reason your kids have to sell fucking world's finest chocolate or wrapping paper or man fucking whatever nonsense they have to in order for them to have like a pencil or a computer or like yeah i've never figured that out yeah and then you also have to pay registration fees for your kids, which are hundreds of dollars. But nonetheless-

The other thing too is- It's supposed to be funded by tax. As a kid, I remember if I wanted to be on like, I remember the cheerleaders used to always sell chocolate too because it would defer the costs or defray. I don't know. I don't know the difference between two words, but it would do,

it would somehow mitigate those charges that they would have to pay, you know, some immense amount of money for all the stuff that they have to have. Well, pom-poms are not inexpensive. Pom-poms and plan B, that shit is not cheap. Pleated skirts. Bloomers.

That was a shot at the cheerleaders, Tom. Out of nowhere. Out of nowhere. Were you snubbed, Tom? What's going on, buddy? Sour grapes, cheerleaders. I don't give a shit about cheerleading

well you know what what this is and this is what we've talked about a hundred times is a way to channel federal money into

religious schools into private institutions if you have a private institution that is trying to do something that the public sector already provides you either need to do one of two things. You need to offer a unique offering, something that the public does not have.

Religious schools happen to have that, right? It's a unique offering. Or you need to do it a fuck ton better, right? need to do it better because if i'm a public school kid and i'm my all my mom's taxes are going to all this this funding of these schools that i'm already in it to win it right i'm already i'm already you know if i'm in some suburb somewhere i'm already in the public school system so you better offer a like you know some sort of interesting structure like montessori right or some sort of uh you know, like advanced placement Juilliard fucking rocket scientist bullshit that's going to get the kid into a very high

level school because they're going to be well, well prepared for that. Right. Right. So you either got to do it real fucking good or you got to have a unique offering. Those are the ways that your school can stay in business. Right. Unique offering happens to be religion. Well, religion, as we know, is starting to go down and down and down. That's one of those things that's just like, as time goes on, religion is starting to phase itself out. There's less religious people now than there were 20 years ago. That's just a true thing. And it's going to continue down that path. So the only way that they're going to keep these fucking schools afloat is by funneling public fucking money into these goddamn schools and making it so that the public money that would normally go to teach all your kids in your area is now going to be able to be funding these Catholic, Christian, Baptist,

evangelical fucking madrasas, whatever. Although madrasas, probably not. Probably less madrasas. Probably not. Probably not. Maybe Dearborn. Who knows? Yeah. But seriously, here? Yeah. You know, like, and so that's what's happening. You know, you could do it by just having a better school.

Yeah. Well, you know. And people will pay to go there. Right. Yeah. Like, if you've, and I know that in some areas, the public schools are shitty, right? Yeah. And so that sucks. The public schools are shitty.

And so people send their kids to private school and there's a sense of like, well, why should I have to, you know, why should I have to make a choice between sending my kid to a shitty school when there's a really good school right down the street that just happens to be a religious school? And I get that.

And I'm genuinely sympathetic to that. But the solution, the public policy solution to that is to do better with the public schools. Because when we ship money into the private school system, what I don't know that everybody understands is the private schools don't have standards, right? If I ship money to the public school, it has a lot of standards. So they have standards about educational time. They have standards about how many days your kids have to attend school, how many school days there are in a year, what subject matter is taught, how the testing is done. There's a lot, a lot of standards in a public school system because they receive federal funds. I don't know that the receipt of federal funds will obligate a private

religious institution to have the same kind of oversight. We haven't seen that in other places in the world where religious institutions provide some kind of public good, like education. Yeah. And the problem is like, you can go get a job to teach at a private religious school without a degree. They don't have to require you to have a degree in education. They can just do whatever they want. My kid went to a Montessori school. As an example, it's not religious, but it is literally a one-to-one example. My kid went to a Montessori school. The Montessori school does not track his attendance,

for example. So, like, if you go to a public school and you miss a certain number of days, it gets reported to the state and the state

knocks on your door. Why isn't your kid going to school? And you have to have doctor's notes. Private school, they don't track it. They don't report it

to anybody. That's it. Because they're not under the same oversight sure they don't have the same oversight and that oversight is even less well not even less but it's it's similarly less for education religious schools and if you think about it like religious schools if they're also teaching religion and your kids going to school the same number of hours that's educational curriculum time they're not getting they're not getting in core subjects right they're instead being taught like you know somebody died and that made them sad and then magic happened and and you're all forgiven yeah like that's they're not learning other things during that same time important stuff it's necessarily less. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, it's, it is one of those things that, that just blows me away that a woman like Betsy DeVos, a person who would never ever use the public school system, would never have a need to use the public school system is in charge of the public school system. Now I know you can't like,

yeah, you shouldn't have fucking, you know, a fucking farmer be the fucking secretary of agriculture, right? Like it doesn't need, it doesn't need to be fucking like a, like a shit kicking farmer with like fucking one bib overall off with a

fucking piece of grass in his mouth. You know, you know, if it's a fucking secretary of the interior, they shouldn't be getting cum shots in them all the time or whatever. I don't know what the secretary,

to be honest. Is that what that's about? I don't know what the interior does. So I'm just, that's what I think they do. Cum shots? Yeah, I think so. Cream pies, maybe?

I'm not sure. In any case. I have some Googling to do. I'll be back in about six minutes. In any case, if you want to get a cream pie, no, in any case,

but, you know, I don't know, but here's pie, no, in any case, but, you know, I don't know, but here's an example and I'm not saying that, you know, like you need someone who's like, you know,

a fucking stay-at-home mom. Not even, you don't need somebody on the PTA to be the secretary of education. Right. So I'm not saying that. Right.

But I am saying like, we live in a country now where we're appointing people that are in charge of really important shit that have no business being in charge of that stuff and have no relation to it no qualifications yeah uh betsy devos rick perry those are three right now that i can name and i would cut all three of those just like rick perry forgot to do in his he's in charge of the of the department he forgot he forgot about yeah that he was going to cut he's got a degree in animal husbandry and he's in charge of of energy yeah like ben carson was a brain surgeon and he's

fucking in charge of housing and urban development yeah what what why because urban and black go together must be what the fuck is that and then betsy devos is a lady who literally has no experience whatsoever she was grilled on capitol hill constantly but she has no experience whatsoever none and she's in charge of this stuff and she's doing what everybody else is doing, which is just making sure their friends can line their pockets. This entire administration,

and I'm not saying that old administrations didn't do this too, right? I don't know enough about all the previous administrations. I do know that a previous secretary of energy had a PhD in fucking nuclear physics and was like a Nobel Prize laureate or something. That is a little different than how's something. That is a little different than

how cows fuck. It's a little different than I put on glasses, I'm smarter now. Yeah, it's a little different than that. At this point, it's so far removed from the people who actually know what's going on. I mean, these people that we're appointing, that he's appointing, these are not the best people that he has promised us over and over and over again. This is an oligarchy of, you know, shitty, awful people that are just trying to line the pockets all their friends. Yeah. And like, let's be clear, like this is a way for the government to pay for religious indoctrination for your kids.

And it's not that way all the time. So I want to be clear, like it's not that way all the time. I'm sure there are plenty of religious schools that are only sort of marginally religious, right? But think about like those insulated communities in New York, right? Like the Jewish communities in New York, right? That is 100% going to be publicly funded religious indoctrination without the kind of federal oversight that is required of the rest of the school system. That's a problem. That breaks down the separation of church and state and is problematic. And it's a disservice to those kids. Yeah. If you support the Catholic

church, isn't that like the same thing as being an R. Kelly fan? I don't really see the difference. Only like one's music is significantly better. This is disgusting. This is from USA Today. The Catholic Church and Boy Scouts are lobbying against child abuse statutes. This is their playbook. So, you know, this actually, this issue has come up a number of times. So there is a movement to extend the statute of limitations around child abuse allegations. They want to stop it from being the five second rule.

Okay. If I drop the semen in the altar boy, it's still, it's only good for five seconds. Five seconds. And then I'm Scott free or whatever. Seriously though, like they, it was, you know, I want to say 25 years or something like that. It was a lowish number. And lots of these people that are abused, you don't hear about it until they're in their 50s, when they can finally contend with it and things like that. And I think too, for a lot of people that have been through something like this, especially when it comes to speaking their experience as it relates to a

powerful institution that's part of their community, there has to be enough of a groundswell that they can kind of join enough of a movement to where they are not the outlier that will be singled out and personally fucking destroyed. Sure. So until that swells enough in your area, kind of like the priest's pants, it's not something that's reasonable to ask somebody to say, hey, you know what? You should have stood alone against the entire Catholic church, your community,

the Catholic church's influence upon the leaders within your community. Like that's too much to ask somebody. That's not a reasonable request. And then you also have to consider too, like they probably didn't start with the law. So they probably tried to figure out some way to like, you know, work through the church system. And there was either a stone wall

or they said they'd do something and they just shift the priest over to another place. And you know what I mean? So, so there's a possibility that they even tried to work outside the structure of the law. And instead now they wasted several years doing that instead of actually going after them like you should with, you know, regular, you know, just through the regular legal system. And I'm also sure that like, again, until you have a groundswell of other people that you can kind of say, hey, that was me too. Right, right, yeah, yeah. It's sort of like, fuck, why would I do that?

It's my word against somebody who is a moral leader in the community. An authority figure, yeah. Why the fuck am I going to run myself through the, now, no one's going to believe me. They'll believe me when there's 30 of me or 40 of me or 60 of me. Sure, sure. Yeah, there has to be that groundswell or it's not going to work me. They'll believe me when there's 30 of me or 40 of me or 60 of me. Sure, sure.

Yeah, there has to be that groundswell or it's not going to work. But they've been trying to stop this because people in different jurisdictions have been saying, we need to extend this statute of limitations past, make it longer, make it longer, so that there's no way to come back at the church in the future. And both the Boy Scouts and the Catholic Church are both doing the same thing, which is trying to stop these laws from coming into play. Yeah, it's like if somebody said like,

Tom, we want there to be no statute of limitations on child sex abuse against you yeah i'd be like yeah okay yeah because it's not it's not something i do yeah like that's never gonna be so you know what i mean like you're only like well i want to i want to get out of jail free if you didn't it doesn't count if it happened yeah now yeah like come the like like literally stop coming the fuck up yeah like that's the problem yeah you have a problem and you're saying we are an organization we are an institution of rapists there's no getting around that yeah if you were not an institution of rapists trying to protect the institution at the expense of those you raped, then you would be for this.

You'd be like, yeah, you know what? I want to find out every bad apple in my organization. I want to find them. I want to punish them. I want justice to be served. Every bad apple in my organization. And I want an opportunity to make amends as a moral institution, the Boy Scouts in the church, as a moral institution. I feel it's incumbent upon me

to find out who these people are and to make amends to them for the ways that my organization, my institution have damaged them. I don't want there to be a statute of limitations because I have a responsibility to do right. Fighting it is like, you know, it's more important. because I have a responsibility to do right. Fighting it is like, you know what's more important? It's not the raped kids. Yeah, no.

It's definitely not the raped kids. It's this fucking swingy incense burner in my big fancy building. Yeah. That's more important than the asshole of an eight-year-old. Well, I'll tell you this. They have, they've sort of paint,

in my opinion, you paint yourself in a corner in this case because you're basically, like you say, you're saying, look, I think that it's important that we let these statutes run out. I understand that, you know, they want to make sure that they save money because that's what this is all about. Yeah. It's about money. It's about money. I don't even, I don't even think it's about the people that did the thing or protecting or some sort of brotherhood as much as it is about the money. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think that those things are, you know, that's not a non-zero,

but I don't think that that's the main factor. I think the main factor is the cash. I want to read part of this article. It says, in one year alone, from July 2017 to June 30th, 2018, so a fiscal year worth of time, the Catholic Church spent more than $239 million related to sexual abuse allegations

according to the June report for the United States Conference of the Catholic Bishops. More than three quarters of that went towards settlements and other payments to survivors. So three quarters. That's in one year. That's a quarter billion dollars. A quarter billion dollars in one year. This isn't an isolated case.

This isn't one little case we talked about it on the show that one time when we were just scrolling through fucking sex offenders in the catholic church hundreds it's hundreds i couldn't stop i was like scrolling and scrolling and scrolling for minutes you're still scrolling fucking like like especially on names that were like a's or b's or whatever, where they're like a common last name. You're just like, holy shit, the L's. We got to the Irish surname. Yeah, we got to the R-L-S-T-N-E or whatever. And it's just like fucking ridiculous.

We got to the O apostrophe name. Oh my God. Yeah, exactly. O apostrophe, my God. But it just blows me away that this is something that they keep that, that you could be a person sitting in the pew and you hear your church say, yeah,

we want to make sure we extend these, uh, these statute of limitations. We want to make sure we extend these past. What for? If, if only to protect the people in your organization, to only protect what's in your coffers,

there's no other reason. It's not about the victims. It can't be about the victims. It can't be because that's how you make amends at this point, right? Like when we talk about like making amends to those that have been victimized, that's at this point, the best you can do is to say, we fucked up when we fucked you. And like, we'll try to prosecute or not, but we are available to be sued because we hurt you, we damaged you. Here is some small measure of recompense for that damage. The church should be like,

yeah, we should go out of business if we're evil because we are a moral institution. Yeah. You should be willing to go out of business. Right. Yeah. And who's drunk enough to get nailed to wood? I can see maybe one nail, but then you think he'd move.

But no, we got to revere him for his slow reaction time. All right, so this story is fucking sad. And I actually, I found this story on a site, and I was like, I don't want it to be true. And I found it on another site. I was like, maybe it's still not true. All right, so it's true. It's from 12news.com. Tucson man accused in son's death

during attempted exorcism. So evidently this guy thought his kid had demons in him. And so now a lot of people don't know this, but it turns out the way that you get demons out is the same way that you elicit confessions from Muslims. You waterboard them

it is what he did you could you could say here that the poison is worse than the disease because he killed his kid killed his kid you would imagine you know like like it's crazy to me that demons are basically as as frail as the human body. You know what I mean? Like, they're never not as frail as the human body. There's never a moment where the demon's like, you know, cool, you drowned me, but I totally survived that. I'm fine now. No, no.

You know, if you do enough to kill the human, you do enough to get rid of the demon, it turns out, every single time. It's like curing cancer by shooting someone in the face. Exactly. The cancer stopped growing. Like, man, the cancer stopped growing. Tell you what, it's 100% in remission right now.

How's the cancer? It's in remission by ammunition. That's how... It's funny because it rhymes. Oh. What he did is he like...

That's how puns work, Tom. He drowned... It is funny because it rhymes. That's right. Like, he forced drown his son by pouring hot water down his throat and then he held him under the water for 10 minutes that is more minutes than you can hold your breath

turns out that's a lot that's a whole lot yeah because you know the thing is like people probably only hold their breath about a minute and a half without like some training on holding their breath. Yeah, yeah.

But demons. Oh, yeah. A good, well-trained, free-diving demon. And there's a lot of them. Free-diving. A lot of people. It's a very common hobby in hell. So you got to hold them under longer.

Yeah. Because otherwise they'll reanimate the corpse of your dead child. What a horror. You know, and here's the thing. of your dead child. What a horror. You know, and here's the thing,

like, like, when you have a culture that reinforces this good and evil, this, there's a monster under your bed, you know,

all this fucking scared of the dark bullshit that they push, it's enough to make someone do this. Now, I don't know if this person's insane or not, right? I don't know the mental state. It's a fucking, it's a five paragraph article. Now, I don't know if this person's insane or not, right?

I don't know the mental state. It's a fucking, it's a five paragraph article. Yeah, it's a short, blurby thing. It's a five paragraph. I don't know anything about this guy. But I will say like, that's a danger when we have stories or you have churches that are basically like, you know,

like they're like a Sunday like a Saturday evening horror movie. Right. Yeah. You know, every week it's a horror movie you go to where they say, oh, there's demons all around you and there's constantly evil and you've got to fight against this evil and anybody can have this demon in them. And the only way to get them out of there is to beat the ever-loving fucking shit out of them or drown them or choke them or whatever, electrocute them.

How many stories have we covered where exorcisms have gone too far and people have died? An exorcism has gone too far as soon as it's begun. Right, yeah, sure. Right, right, yeah. You're like, well, that went well. I also have always wondered

like, couldn't you kill the demon with kindness? You know, it's a a demon i bet it doesn't like that probably doesn't like kindness you're like wouldn't like wouldn't like wouldn't the thing to be like well i come from hell will we torture and evil and roar and you'd be like well what about if i simulated your home so you were felt more welcome in the body that's okay like what if you're just like you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna give you a hug and make you some fucking fresh baked cookies demon you know what i'm gonna do demon knitting club that's what we're doing knitting

club we're gonna pet our cat for an hour it's gonna be great yeah like what we're gonna cuddle and watch downton abbey so exactly demon's like i actually liked out quite a bit what's going on with mr bates do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like news week christian school principal sends newsletter saying greta Thunberg has mental problems. I love this part. This is why I included the story accuses her of promoting doomsday waffle talk. Doomsday waffle talk sounds kind of amazing to be honest. That's the best band name ever.

We are doomsday waffle talk. Like I would see that band every day. Every day I would see doomsday Waffle talk. Yeah. There's an IHOP joke in here somewhere. I don't know where it is, but there's an IHOP joke in there somewhere. I just imagine like the end of like Ghostbusters

where you're like, I try to think of something. I thought of Waffle. I thought of a Doomsday Waffle. There's just like a waffle. One waffle. Or it's just a waffle with like really thin arms and legs. There's just like a waffle, like an egg rolling down New York. Or it's just a waffle

with like really thin arms and legs and it's just dancing, you know. I can't support my own weight. I'm falling over. It just hits a building and just kind of leans. Somebody help me. It's crying syrup.

Cause it can't get. Help me. I can't move. Oh man, we need to redo it. You know what I love about this too is like, like all the fucking religious people right now, Tom,

all the crazy evangelicals are just like, you can't talk about doomsday. I talk about doomsday. You can't do it. We do it every week in the pews. You're not allowed. It's not your doomsday. It's my doomsday.

Because like this guy says, I think what you're getting at, it says like, my life experience has taught me that the doomsday predictors are this guy says, I think what you're getting at, it says like, my life experience has taught me that the doomsday predictors are just attention getters. Yeah. Okay.

Jim Baker. Right. Yeah. Okay. The book of revelation. Yeah. No kidding. Well,

it's in your thing. One 16th of your book or whatever. Yeah. A lot of people have been, been bagging on this girl all week. We talked about it all week. Um, we talked about it last week, Trump tweeting things out.

We talked about people attacking her, specifically ad hom attacks directly right at her. Yeah. But she has handled it like a champ. Um, and I think, I think a lot of people just don't know what to do with her. Right. Because they,

they just want to pass this off as nothing. They want to keep passing it off as nothing. They want to pass off what she did as hysteria rather than actually try to change. And this is another example here. I want to talk about an article in conjunction with this. This is from the Smithsonian mag, and it talks about the money behind climate denial movement.

And this is crazy. It shows a nice graph in this article about where all that money comes from. You see Coke, the Coke Industries, or Coke is a nice chunk. I want to say it's this chunk or one of these chunks is the Coke. This one, the purple. Yeah. It's a big chunk. Yeah. It's a big chunk. What is it? 14% or something like that. But this group, these groups have been trying to discredit this movement through money and disinformation for years.

They've been trying to discredit this movement because they're the ones that are making a shit ton of money off of this. And they're convincing people, all the rest of these people, most of the boots on the ground when it comes here are all dupes. They're all just duped into thinking it's not a real thing. They're all just fucking just regular people who are like you're a crazy person there's no such thing as climate change and you're just like yeah there's a like thousands tens of thousands of studies that show that it's real and the only thing you're quoting are these anti um propaganda pieces that

are coming out that want to say like, that are essentially propaganda pieces and that are just lying to you. But there's a lot of money behind this. Billionaire oil men told me that climate change wasn't real. That's literally what's happening here. Yeah, exactly. Is that billionaire,

a small, relatively small handful of ultra wealthy billionaires who are deeply invested in current fossil fuel related technologies or technologies that will be severely impacted by having to move to a greener economy. They are tricking the fucking voting population, like you're saying, into voting against all of our best interests. Yeah. So they can maximize today's profits and not lose anything. This is like, you know, we are a country increasingly run by oligarchs.

Yeah. That is what's fucking happening right now. Yeah, this is true. Yeah. We are a plutocracy. Yeah. We are a plutocracy. And any illusion that we might have that we are not at least trending heavily toward plutocracy and away from a real democracy is bullshit. million people that go into a booth and press a button. It's the people, it's the small number of people that convinced the 63 million what their worldview looks like. Those are the people that matter. That's a tiny, tiny group of people. And they've got all the money and they control

the narrative. Whoever controls the narrative controls the people reading that narrative, exposed to that narrative. We are an oligarchy at this point, and it's terrifying. I will say this too. This is not like, when you look at this article, this is a study, a sociology study.

Look at this article. There's a study that's linked to the Smithsonian article. There's an actual study here. And this is not the only time that this has happened, right? When it comes to big money trying to convince us of something that this has happened, right? When it comes to big money, trying to convince us of something that's not true, right? Look at what they did with opioids.

Look at behind the scenes, what happened with those memos and things. They knew, they knew from the very start what was happening. They knew from the moment it started happening, what was happening, but they knew that they were going to make a shit ton of money off of it. So they wanted to suppress that as quickly and as efficiently as they possibly could. So they found all those people out there and paid them big salaries to write papers and write studies and put things out there to make it look like their product isn't as addictive as it actually is. They did the same thing with cigarettes. Look at all that stuff that got shredded back in the day with cigarettes. They had plenty of stuff where they constantly

came out. For how many years did they go out and say, cigarettes don't cause cancer? I mean, they'll look you in the face and be like, I do not believe. There's a famous congressional hearing where they go down the line and they ask each one, do you think cigarettes cause cancer? And every single one, I do not believe they cause cancer. I do not believe they cause cancer. They knew. And then they knew they knew it because that Mr. Whatever the fuck had already leaked all the documents. They already knew that they knew that.

They knew that those individuals who looked right at the camera and right in the faces of Congress and said, our products do not cause cancer. Those are the same people who wrote memos like, our product causes a whole lot of cancer. Oh, I'm talking out the hole in my neck right now. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like Mr. Ashtray or whatever that guy's name is. Our products are safe products.

Yeah, whatever that Mr. Ashtray or whatever his name was. I don't know what his name was. But like whoever supposedly leaked those documents is the one who helped expose all that. But think of that uphill battle, even still with cigarettes that you're going to run into, right? That you're going to run into if you don't have those documents, those internal documents. If we weren't able to get those internal documents from the opioid stuff, you know, this is another example. You know,

if you were able to crack in here, I guarantee you're going to find a ton of articles. And, you know, if there's some sort of whistleblower that can get in there, you're going to find a ton of stuff where they admit, absolutely, that there's climate change. They know there's climate change. They know there is. There was a famous, the Koch brothers hired some relative,

I can't remember the name of the guy, but they hired somebody who was a climate change skeptic and they hired the guy and they paid him to come up with a study debunking climate change. And he came and did the fucking research and he was like, no, even though I was funded by the Koch brothers, I came away a fucking convert

because it's fucking definitive. The thing is like, if you shit enough money at it, you change the story around it. And when you change the story around it, you get people dubious of the truth. When we're dubious of the truth, they show up and they vote dubiously. And then we keep those people in power long enough for them to maximize the profits on the backs of the lives of the next generation.

And we are fucking ourselves over in the process. And we know it. The thing that makes me crazy is we know it's happening. We're watching. It's like we're nationally locking our keys in the car in slow motion why am i doing that fuck yep yep we're all watching this this car accident happen from the back seat yeah we can't steer the wheel we're not allowed it's terrifying so tom right now our sponsor adamandeEve.com and AdamandEve.com I just want to mention if you like to fuck if you don't but if you like to fuck and you like to get fucked AdamandEve.com is a great sponsor for this show

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The anti-abortion doctor who believes ectopic pregnancies can be re-implanted. So I'm sure everybody knows, but an ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy where the egg implants and is fertilizing implants somewhere in the wrong place, typically the fallopian tubes, right? And they are-

And then the baby comes out Filipino. That's how it works. Well, that's- I got you. I got Tom. All right. There you go. All right.

Like- It does. So it is just, it is the leading cause of maternal mortality though. Like it's a big fucking, it is, it is the baby. The baby winds up in the tube or whatever.

And then like, eventually like chest bursts woman, like fucking John hurt an alien. Like, it's just like, boom, boom, boom,

boom. And like looks around and like scurries off a table. Like it like, and it's like, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a death sentence. Yeah. If you get this,

you, this happens to you. Is it, it's not a thing you live. There's not a good live through rate. The lifter rate is that pregnancy has to be immediately medically terminated. Right. Because that's a fucking building of fucking parasite against the wrong organs.

You have one organ made to host that parasite. Yeah, yeah. The rest of your organs do not want to host that parasite. You don't want it anywhere else. Right, yeah. So, like, you have to medically terminate an ectopic pregnancy. That's the highest likelihood for survival for the mother, right? This guy's like, we could just, like, replant right this guy's like we could just like

replant it it's like it doesn't work you can't do that this anti-abortion message is so rooted in like bad science there's so much bad science attached to an ideology yeah rather than a reality and this is just such a great example about how the reality of how people's fucking bodies work and the limitations around science clash with what they just want to be. Yeah, they really want it to happen. You know, this guy tells a story in this about an anecdote yeah and the anecdote is woman goes in has a uh one of these ectopic pregnancies she realizes you know gosh i've just gotta i've gotta terminate this so she starts taking some sort of uh something to get rid of it it's a it's a pill form of a way to abort.

And she's taking this thing and then they find that the cell either moved down to the uterine area where it would normally stay

or there was a twin. They weren't sure but it was found in the uterine wall where it should have, I guess, sort of implanted. And she was devastated by it

because if they'd have just waited, it would have been fine because it would have done her, you know, like this, but, or it would have had a twin and they should have checked better

and they, you know, like a gosh, she wound up aborting something that was, that probably would have lived and she was crushed by it. Right.

But the fact is that just because something happened one time doesn't mean you should be, and especially something like this, where you are genuinely in mortal danger. Yeah, yeah. You shouldn't be banking on the fact that the anomaly is going to happen to you. The same thing goes for cancer.

Cancers, you know, people get misdiagnosed with cancer. They don't actually have cancer. People get spontaneous remissions from cancer, right? Those things happen, but you can't bank on that. You know, the moment they say, bruh, you got the cancers, you got to fix as best you can what's happening, whether that's surgery or whether it's chemotherapy or radiotherapy or any of those things. Or buying a black turtle and not getting a lot of eggs. You could do that too. Right, that works. If you're really rich, you could do that, I guess.

Does it work? Nope, turns out. Well, I mean, you'll live for a little while but you know you gotta do you gotta do something about that don't bank on the fact that it's one of those things one of those anomalies one of those one of those anecdotes

that someone's gonna tell you stop stop just using anecdotes as a way to say that's how that's how the world works because I saw it work

that one time it's a terrible and and this is also a weird that's how the world works because I saw it work that one time. It's a terrible, and this is also a weird, really testable claim, right? I know. It's also one of those really, like, where you're just like, couldn't you have just picked

like a pregnancy that like, like only 1% of the time kills the person rather than, you know, I don't think there is one, but I'm just saying like, couldn't you pick one with a lower percentage than holy shit, you're almost going to die nearly every time.

Rather than klaxons. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like instead of like, yeah, some fucking crazy, like 10 AM on a Tuesday fucking wailing siren instead it's yeah. You know, you could probably live through that. And even if I fake it, it'll be okay. Right. Yeah. You know, these are like, through that. And even if I fake it, it'll be okay. Right. Yeah. You know, these are like, there's like a, there's a, there's a host of anti-abortion medical activists who also, not a host, but there are some who also claim that an abortion can be reversed. Have you seen this? Abortion can be reversed. Yeah. There, there, there are people out there claiming, I'm not even kidding, that like, you can take the medication that that causes an abortion that causes the miscarriage of the abortion right and they're saying like oh but

if you take this other medication in 38 hours or something then it's like the antidote yeah like the antidote to an and it's there's no evidence at all. There's zero evidence that that works at all ever. And it's like we are losing sight of the reality of how our biologies work because our ideology isn't matching up to a worldview. And I think religious people have to constantly face this, right? It's like they want the world to look like this story, this set of stories. And it doesn't look that way. And increasingly,

every day, we find ways that it doesn't look like that. It doesn't match it. It doesn't conform to those ideas. And they're just, so they just rewrite reality. Yeah.

And then they try to sell it. Like, well, you could take vitamin D and then you'll grow a baby back or whatever. here's a homeopathic baby and you're just like looking around like yeah have you met a woman before like i don't know how all this shit works but i know that's not no that's not the truth china has total respect for donald trump's very very large a. They call her Pocahontas. I am the chosen one.

You are fake news. Okay. I am the least racist person. Look at my African-American over here. Look at him. It's a camera. Grab him by the pussy. Stop it. All right, Tom, this week in Trump, it looks like Trump initially in a meeting in May said to his advisors and the lady he eventually fired, is there any way we can shoot migrants in the legs, build an alligator moat, and fill it with snakes? I can't even believe this is happening. Then this week, the New York Times released a statement from Trump that was where he basically denied considering a border moat, which I love, a border moat.

Trump publicly urges China to investigate the Bidens and this was in the wake of them asking him about the conversation he had with the leader of Ukraine. Twitter takes down a Trump tweet

because he used a Nickelback meme and Nickelback or someone related to Nickelback or Warner Music said, you can't use that. They took it down. And then probably my favorite, Lance Wallen, who impeaching Trump would overturn

the will of 600 million Americans. Let's start there because that's my favorite. The best is so good. You don't have to listen to this whole thing because it's not good. But he does say out loud, he says it was an interpretation of the transcript, an interpretation, a precedent setting interpretation from an intelligence committee member in order to set up the president for impeachment to overturn the will of 600 million

Americans. I know we've gotten that number wrong here, but never that wrong. I feel like I've been like, there's 370 million, and I've been like, there's 320 million, but I've never been like, there's an extra70 million. And I've been like, there's 320 million, but I've never been like, there's an extra 300 million.

Did we just adopt all of Mexico recently? Yeah. I was going to say, have we had a mass immigration? Some immigration of 270 million people. Yeah. Well, I love that. Like 270 million Republicans

all immigrated here. I know. And that would love that. Like 270 million Republicans all immigrated here. I know. And it's, that would assume that 600 million Americans want Trump to succeed. But like assuming it's about 50, 50, even though it's not 50, 50. It's 1.2 billion. Like, is it like,

we're just like. He fucked it up by, he fucked it up by an order of magnitude is what he did. He did, right. He fucked it up because what he meant to say is 60. And he said 600. It's too delicious to let go. You can't let it go.

We'll overturn the will of 600 million Americans. Get out of here. 600 million Americans. It's amazing. Alright, so, what's the Nickelback meme? So, the Nickelback meme is from a video, and the video is called Photograph, and the video begins with one of the

guys from Nickelback holding up a photograph. And in the photograph, someone has after effects, an image of Biden. Okay. And, and Trump had put on his Twitter, look at this photograph. his Twitter, look at this photograph. And it's basically a short video that shows all Biden just doing bad shit. Furthering his financial station in life through politics is what he's accusing Biden of doing, right? Right? Right? Pot, kettle, pot, kettle, pot. The craziest thing about this entire thing, first off, there's no real proof. There's been major news outlets who have looked into this.

And there's no proof whatsoever that any of this actually happened. No, it's all conspiracy theory gibberish. But all he keeps doing is saying, this is an abuse of power. It's an abuse of power because he's trying to fill his pockets and his son's pockets by manipulating the system. And I'm just like, have you met you?

I know. Like they're talking about currently, Tom, did you see this week when they're like, yeah, there's entire blocks of your hotel are sitting empty, but they're still rented out by other people in other countries. By like foreign countries trying to curry favor with the president are lining his actual personal pockets by renting hotel rooms they never intend to stay at. And he's like, what if somebody did something dubious? And don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to do whataboutism here because I don't, to be honest, I don't think that those two things aren't connected, right?

They're not connected. Whether or not Biden didn't doesn't mean that whether or not Trump did it. So I don't want to give the illusion that I'm saying that, but I am saying like, you're a giant fucking hypocrite because it's been proven over and over and over again that you've been lining your pockets and you've fucking essentially fucking ejaculated

on the mulluments clause. You're just like, fucking whatever. Mulluments clause, I'll get it in your beard, Santa. Fuck you. He doesn't give no fucks about any of that shit. So he's like, he cares so little about that, all he wants to do. And I mean, look, you could even say that all the shit he's been doing with Russia and Saudi Arabia is literally a play for his children. And after he gets out of office, it's I mean, it's so transparent. You know, any idiot can see that's what he's trying to set up for for the future. Is it possible that he is just that tragically unselfaware? Maybe like that. He's just like, well, you're doing a bad thing when I do a bad thing. It's different because I'm Trump. You did, like, I can't even understand how. Yeah.

I also, like, I can't understand a world where the president is tweeting memes now. I know. Like, we are. I know. Like, this is not a world

I want to live in. That the president is tweeting memes. We should have never did that live stream because we jumped into the wrong universe that night.

We jumped into the wrong universe. And we're in a new universe now. And it's into the wrong universe. And we're in a new universe now. And it's not the same universe. It's not. And it sucks. The president is tweeting memes. It sucks. I want to talk about Trump basically coming out, out loud, and saying, I hope they do look into Biden, not just Ukraine, but also China. He's saying, I hope China looks into it too. This is exactly what everybody said was wrong with the call. But, and I think this is the important distinction, the Republicans never said that it was wrong. And so him coming out and doing this, I think is actually kind of a smart thing to do because he's going out of his way to say,

there's nothing wrong with me asking for a foreign power to do this. There's nothing wrong. Everybody else is saying, no, that's a horrible abuse of power, but he's saying, no, that's not. And so are all the Republicans because he's not asking for anything in return

because all they care about is the quid pro quo. All they care about is an exchange. He's saying, I don't want anything from China. I just want them to look into it. I don't understand how the lack of a quid pro quo, although with the transcript of

the conversation with Ukraine's president, it does seem to be a very heavily implied quid pro quo. It seems heavily implied, yeah. When he says though, he uses the word though. And that's a big word. Okay, but even if you go past It seems heavily implied. Yeah. When he says though, he uses the word though. And that's a big word. It's a big word. Big word. So, okay.

But like, even if you, even if you go past that, we are at a place where the president is reaching out to hostile for, we're in a trade war. His trade war with China. Yeah. China.

Yeah. And he is reaching out, asking a hostile foreign power to interfere in our politics to damage his political rival. That is a true thing no matter how you spin this. All those words in that order are true. And we're looking around like everything's fine. Well, everything's on fire. We're the dog in the fire room.

He's going to tweet that out. This is fine. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, and I think the reason, so what they're saying is, is that this is not an issue. The Republicans, all the Republicans are saying this is not an issue. But what you have to remember is, is that a few weeks ago he denied it. Right? Right. So a few weeks ago he was denying that he did this.

Then he released a transcript that literally showed him. And I want to make sure that people understand this. They're the ones that provided the transcript. He's been talking about it as if someone else wrote this thing. You gave it to us, man. Like, have you heard his comments about this since? Yeah. Where he's just like, yeah, well, they just wrote this other transcript here.

Like wrote other what transcript? What are you talking? You gave it to me. I know. I know. It's like this dude is gaslighting America so bad. Like so bad. We are blinking twice.

We do not feel safe at home. This is, we are gaslighted so hard. This is you slipping a note to the veterinarian to call the police that your husband beats you. You know what I mean? It genuinely is awful. And, and, and, you know, the, the Republicans, like I said, they have said from the beginning that this is not an issue, that this isn't an issue, but I'll tell you what, tell me that in 2014 or no, even early, let's go to 2000. Let's go to 2011 before the 2012 election. You know, he was elected in 08 Obama. Tell me what they would have said if they, if, if Obama

would have reached out to any foreign power to ask for aid in the next election. Tell me, tell me what you would have said about that. You know, there's a constant, you know, hypocrisy in this particular government that is so appalling that you just can't, you just can't anymore. You're just like, I just cannot anymore. Well, I worry that like the game is changing to where this is now all acceptable. I worry about, I don't know that that's going to happen. I just worry about it. Because if he proves that it's an effective way.

To just say, I don't care. Because at this point it's, I don't care. Right at this point, it's I don't care, right? I don't care. I'm going to do what I want. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, and I'm going to do it. And there's nothing that you can do to stop me. And both of you and I listened to a thing on impeachment this week. It was on the Daily.

You should listen to it. The Daily podcast did a whole episode that talked about the Clinton impeachment as well as the possible Trump impeachment that's coming up, right? That there's at least going to be an impeachment hearing, right, that they're working on right now. But there's a possibility that he may get, and a very good possibility that the House will impeach him, right?

There's a very good possibility. It seems reasonable. It seems very reasonable. But he could just ignore it. He could just say, I don't care. Yeah. And he could still get elected afterwards. Yep.

Absolutely, 100% get elected. It takes a good deal of people. What is it? Two thirds. Two thirds of the Senate. Of the Senate to remove him from office. That's never going to happen. Not in our current political climate,

because the Senate has been tradesies, onesies, twosies for the past dozen years. Right's not been 66 there hasn't been 66 democrats or 66 republicans in the senate yeah for that many years margin it's a slim margin every time yeah it's it's crazy because the highest likelihood is that you know there was i think you heard the same art like there's. There's a reason to think too that Mitch McConnell will take up the issue of the impeachment and immediately call for the dismissal. Yeah, go for a dismissal. And then get one. You only need a 50%. Get one. He'll get one. And they'll just dismiss it. They'll never actually vote in the Senate on the impeachment.

Yeah. He can take it up, immediately vote to dismiss it on a 50% or 51% win. And they've got the votes for that. It's not going to get, he's not going to get kicked out of office through impeachment. Yeah. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. What could happen though,

is it could motivate his base. Yeah. Scarily enough. I think, I think that there has been some people that have sort of shifted. I know that they've never, there's not, they're not never Trumpers, but there's certainly not people that have been in shifted. I know that they've never, they're not never Trumpers,

but they're certainly not people that have been in his camp that were like, what the fuck? Yeah. So I know that there's some people in his base that are not cool with this shit, but there needs to be a lot more people in his base that need to be not cool with this shit. Stay home.

He's a giant cult of personality and they believe everything he says and he can't do wrong in their eyes and it's absolutely terrifying. It awful it's terrifying um we gotta talk about the snake genuinely amazingly the shoot migrants in the legs and build an alligator moat filled with snakes is fucking i mean i hope piranhas were in there too i sent this to you like normally what i do guys i put the notes in a in a google doc and i don't usually send cecil stories just like one to one i found this story and i was just like what the fuck i can't yeah yeah and it was amazing so here is here is supposedly what was actually suggested

privately the president often talked about fortifying a border wall with a water-filled trench stocked with snakes or alligators why not both why not get that little kid for the fucking who does the like like whatever stove top or whatever he's like why not both why not get that kid in here i just picture these knuckleheads just throwing like non-water living snakes just like most snakes don't just like live in the water. It's not like, it's not fucking Beowulf. There's not just like. It's like, yeah, right. The snake has to live on land.

It can swim in the water. I mean, there are some sea snakes, but I'm presuming the trench will not be full of like. A moray eel. Yeah, right. So just like throwing just like rattlesnakes

and just like. There's sharks in there. Shelly fish. It's sharks in there. Jelly fish. It's like, this is a solution drawn with crayons by a seven-year-old. That is amazing. I'm going to make a moat around my house once I get my house. And you won't be able to come in because you didn't share your capri sun with me. And inside the moat, there's going to be a lion with a fish tail

and he's going to swim around and eat you. Oh, it's a liger. Pretty much my favorite animal. The idea here is

is not just the thing that's crazy about this Tom is it's not it's not just one thing. It's not just this. He's like talking about like I want concrete

and they're like concrete is stupid. We already talked about concrete. Give me concrete this. He's like talking about like, I want concrete. And they're like, concrete is stupid. We already talked about it. He's like, concrete, give me concrete. And then he's like, they're like, we don't have the land. Just take the land, sue him after. It's just like, and I want to say like, that is absolutely how a business person would say. You know, like that's absolutely. And that's why everybody fucked up and everybody was wrong. And I was wrong years ago when I voted for Perot, when I thought a businessman could a businessman, unless you have political experience. No, you can't do it. No, you because you're used to a dictatorship. You're used to everything rolls up to you and you make all the decisions and everybody fucking when you say jump, they say how high every single thing. It's either a military guy or a fucking, or a business guy. They're not going to do great in that position. No, the people that are going to do great are the people who can, who can work within the system and, and, and, you know, ease things in and out politicians. They're going to do the best at this job. He is not fucking good at this job. Everything he wants to do is basically

like, he's like fucking annex America. Just take it all over. Just run a fucking big fucking line through it. All I want at all. I don't care. Put all the migrants in Greenland. Do we own Greenland? Buy Greenland.

Can we just shoot them? I just want to shoot everybody. You can't shoot people. Just shoot them once. I know. See what happens. Can we just, can I bargain with how many times I want to shoot them?

Yeah. He's just like, if the migrants throw rocks that we shoot them and they're See what happens? Can we just, can I bargain with how many times I want to shoot him? Yeah. He's just like, if the migrants throw rocks that we shoot them and they're like, you can't do that. And he's like, well, what about if they're running? Can't we just shoot them in the legs? He wants to have sharp poles on the top that like impale. It's not a zombie attack. You asshole.

I watched The Walking Dead last night. I have some great ideas. What we'll do is we'll get a migrant on a chain that walks behind us. I'll have two swords. We'll take his lower jaw off like Roger Ebert. It'll be amazing. Roger Ebert.

You have Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert following you around. Two thumbs down. Lost my thumb. But I want to give Trump the definitive out. I want to say Trump said,

he said they're trying to, I'm going to quote here. He says, now the press is trying to sell the fact. This is another article where Trump denies it. Okay. So I'm going to read directly from this New York times article. Now the press is trying to sell the fact that I wanted to moat stuff with alligators and snakes and electric rod fence with sharp spikes on top of our Southern border. I may be tough on border security, but I'm not that tough. The press has gone crazy, fake news. Then he said, it's written by the Washington Post people. So, you know, it's inaccurate. You know,

it's probably a fraud. The article I'm reading directly here, quote, the article, which appeared in Wednesday's newspaper was written by the Times reporters, uh, sheer and hair Hirschfield Davis, and was excerpted from their forthcoming book, border Wars, Inside Trump's Assault on Immigration, to be published on Tuesday by Simon & Schuster. The Washington Post had no role in either the article or the book. So that's my favorite part, is that he didn't even know who did it.

He just said it was fake news. He didn't know who did it, but he said he did. Yeah, but he blamed it on somebody. He blamed it on somebody who didn't even have it. I don't know who killed that guy, but it was Cecil. But I will say that the Times even says, yeah, we talked to our reporters and they're standing by it. They say, we are confident in the accuracy of the reporting.

So they're confident in it. So you take that way. Here's what you do. Look at all the Times retractions over the year and then look at how many times Trump has lied. Put that on a scale and then see who you do. Yeah. Look at all the times retractions over the year and then look at how many times Trump has lied. Put that on a scale and then see who you believe.

Yeah. I just, I want to also point out that we are at a place where we're trying to decide whether it's believable that the president of the United States

wants a moat full of snakes. Totally believable. 100% believable. Whether that's 100% believable. It's 100%. Fuck you if you don't think that's 100%

believable that guy abs a fucking loony no way there's a fucking no way that's not real there is no way he was not eating a bowl of cereal in his pajamas sitting at the fucking resolute desk

talking to all the rest of those people saying, you would be cool if we had a moat with sharp spikes and snakes all over and it sounded like fucking Metallica

on the wall. Wouldn't it be fucking awesome? And the Border Patrol agents they'll play a guitar and every time they hit a big note, flames shoot out

of the skulls of our enemies. Yeah! He turns the wall into the fucking into Furiosa's semi from fucking

Mad Max get the fuck out of here where is the craziest world we're living in the worst timeline sometimes it's the worst timeline

this may be the best part of the timeline it's amazing so we want we want to thank our patrons of so we want we want to thank our patrons of course we want to thank all our patrons we want to thank our

most recent patrons and we think a lot of people are signing up because we have a a pizza party that's happening where 30 patrons

we can't we can't of course we can't invite all our patrons to come out how cool is that can you imagine a massive game of heads up seven up you could play at that pizza party? Duck, duck, goose. Could you imagine?

It'd be killer. You have to give all the patrons tokens so they could go play at Showbiz Pizza. But, but we can't invite everybody. We have to keep it to a limit. So we're keeping it to a limit of 30. But if this goes over well, I suspect we're probably going to do this more often.

Because we really did have a great time several years ago when we had a picnic. We had a great time. We're going to do this. We're doing this in December and we'll see maybe we might do it again. But right now we have over 100 people have applied for tickets.

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David, Nathieboy, Memphis, John, Rebecca, Michael, Bobby, ImposingBeam,

and Ariel. Thanks so much for your generous donations. Now, we are giving away mugs to new patrons when they sign up. Jamie, the Oxford comma

is useless. And Rebecca, please contact Ian at DissonancePod.com. Send him your home address and we will ship you a mug. A citation needed mug, but you have to promise to download at least

one episode and listen to one episode. But we want to thank everybody who becomes patrons. You guys are the reason that we're even able to have a hosting party to host the patrons and enjoy our company. So much of what we've been able to do over the last few years, it's just because of the patrons. You guys have literally changed

our lives. Yeah. And you've helped us change a lot of other lives too. Yeah. Through our ability to be philanthropic. Yeah. Our ability to have Glory Hole Studios, to do things where we meet you guys in person. Like if we didn't have the patrons,

we couldn't have the show in the same way that it exists today. So to say that I'm grateful for that is an underestimation. Like it's just been awesome. We wouldn't have an employee. And you know, like employee and to be perfectly frank, our employee is one of

our largest expenses. It could be the largest expense we have is to have an employee. But to have somebody who's as skilled and as useful as Ian around, it's nearly invaluable to us and it makes the show 200% better.

Ian brings so much that he makes the show so much better. And so, you know, the reason why the show has a quality that it does is because the patrons are able to contribute. So we thank you so much. You guys are awesome. And we're happy to host as many as we can for this upcoming event. So like we say, sign up and we're going to be like,

we're going to be selecting those people. If it starts to slow down, we're probably going to select them sooner rather than later. But the plan currently is to keep it up for a couple of weeks, at least maybe three, four weeks. So you'll have plenty of time, but you want to sign up as soon as you can. And just a point of clarification, because we did get some questions on this. We can't pay for you to get here. You got to make your way to Chicago. We're paying for the pizza party. We can't fly you from Australia or wherever you live. As much as I would like to. That would be amazing.

I would love to. Don't get me wrong. If I had Bezos money, I would be doing that for you. Yeah. So I would love to do that, but that's just not something that we can do. So we get a lot of messages all the time. And a person by the name of Tyler contacted us. And we of messages all the time and a person by the name of tyler contacted us and we

get these all the time people will say hey i'm going to be in chicago this weekend is there any way we can meet up i was gone last weekend tom doesn't live in the city there's very little chance that tom can make it out without months in advance on his calendar i mean tom's calendar is absurd mine is too i have i have other i have other hobbies and other things that I'm doing. And I'm, you know, very often I'm outside of Chicago. You know, I do live in downtown Chicago, but I travel a lot. And so we always, we appreciate it

when people reach out to us, but we can really only set up like meetup stuff because we just don't have time in our schedules normally to meet. I don't even have time to meet up with people that I'm very close to. But we really do appreciate people reaching out to us

and it's really nice, but most of the time we just can't. So don't think we're rude. Yeah, like Cecil and I made plans to hang out socially outside the show sometime at the end of the month. Yeah, yeah. We decided tonight

that we were going to do something, but we had to call a friend of ours who we wanted to hang out with, and we had to set it up for five weeks from now. So that tells you how fucking tight our schedules are all the time. Very spontaneous. Yeah, yeah.

Very little spontaneity in my schedule anymore. We got a message from Rick, and Rick says, love the show. I was listening to your latest show. We're talking about drinking baking soda and vinegar and something that Rick's dad

used to make for the kids was called the super duper. When their stomachs were upset, he would take a glass, put in mostly water, add a third vinegar and then a heaping spoonful of baking soda,

mix it up and you drank it. Call that the volcano. And you always drank it as much as you could and as fast as you can and it actually worked. Call that the volcano. And you always drank it as much as you could and as fast as you can. And it actually worked. Generally, your stomach would settle. Yeah, you know, you throw a base in there.

Very often that helps. Very often that helps fix things. I used to, it's funny. Like when I was a kid, my dad used to give me bromo seltzer, which is just Alka-Seltzer and aspirin. And you're not supposed to give little kids aspirin. No.

But it worked a charm. Sure. I had Reye syndrome. Anyway. I had since. So this is great. This is an image sent to us by Aaron, who hasn't sent an image in a while.

I haven't, Aaron, you dropped off the map. Missed you, Aaron. But this is a great image, Aaron. Thanks for sending it in. We're going to post it on this week's show notes. It's 490. We got a message from Peter, and Peter says,

I dissolve hydrogen in water at work all the time. I work in nuclear energy research. My company is spending more than $100,000 on my building alone just to improve the safety around the use of hydrogen. I wouldn't recommend it for personal use. What's good for nuclear reactors isn't the same as what's good for your body.

That is great words to live by, Peter. Thanks so much for sending the message in. Bip, bip, bip, Peter. Got a message from Tony, and Tony said, by the way, and this is something I didn't even know, Billie Eilish recorded all the stuff

on their debut album in a bedroom studio. So that bullshit that he was saying, does she do it in her basement? Yes, she did, Dave. Yeah, Dave, she did, you asshole. And she's so much better than you. You fucker. Here's the thing.

Everything she's ever done is better than the best thing you'll ever do. A sent a message in and A's talking about Chick-fil-A and their gay friends going to eat at Chick-fil-A. And A was like,

why are you doing that? Right. And they said, well, look, basically that matter's settled. So it doesn't really matter that if I eat there or not, that money goes there, who cares? It's not a big deal. And so again, this is another moment.

We've been talking about these for the past several weeks. It's a victim of its own success. And some would say it's not even that successful because there's still plenty of discrimination out there against gay people. I think most states have a, I could fire you if you're gay clause. It's not a big deal.

It doesn't matter. And so we have this thing in this country where we think things are settled. Yeah. And it's not settled. And that money going to that corporation that can then give that money to something like an activism that can take your rights away is a fucking big deal still.

Yeah, I would argue like shit is never settled, right? Like a fight is always worth fighting if it's right. We got a message from Devin and Devin wanted us to know that, you know, like a lot of families force their kids to go to religious schools. And that is true. It's not something that we talked about and it's absolutely true.

And I know for sure, many, many students get their college paid for it. I'm sure the parents have a big say in where that happens. You know what I mean? It's not always, you know, daddy, I want to go to BSU, you know? And like, they're just like, fuck you. You're going to fucking where I want you to go. Yeah, like my dad convinced me to go to BSU you know and like they're just like fuck you you're going to fucking where I want you to go yeah like my dad convinced me to go to

a certain school rather than another because he was like look if you don't go to the school like you can't basically I wasn't sure I'd have somewhere to come home during the summer like it was like if you go away to school you're going away and enjoy that now I don't know if

you would have followed up on it, but like, so it's not even just people that are going to pay for it. It's just like, yeah, all right. You can do what I say. You left the house. Or you can be denied my support. Sure. Absolutely. And that's hard for kids that are seniors in high school. Absolutely. That's a big deal. Right. Yeah. A couple of people sent this in. Aaron and Rosalie both sent this in. We're going to post it on this week's show notes. It's a death metal version of Greta Thunberg. I don't know. I guess I've been pronouncing it.

Somebody corrected me. It's Dun-Thunberg or Thunberg. I don't know how I'm saying. I'm saying it wrong. But in any case, it's Greta. I'm just going to say Greta. Okay. Greta's speech, they turned it into a death metal video.

They made, they, they distorted her voice and they put a, like a, like a crazy guitar or whatever underneath her. So you can check it out in this week's show notes. We're going to post it. Thank you for sending in Aaron and Rosalie. Well, we will be next, what is it? Next Monday. Is it next Monday? No, the following Monday.

So this upcoming weekend. Yeah. So this upcoming weekend, we will be in New York City. We will be doing Citation Needed at the People's Improv Theater. Those tickets are, I think, still available. I think there's one or two couple

left, general admission. So if you're interested in coming, it's this upcoming weekend. We're going to be doing four total shows, four total different episodes, two shows a piece. If you buy a ticket, you get to see two of them. You can buy two tickets, one to the early show and one to the late show

and see four totally different episodes. But those tickets are still available. You can go to citationpod.com and pick those up. But we are going to be recording a little early this week, specifically. Yep. And we're also going to be releasing either this week or next,

we're not sure when, an episode on The Family. Tom and I are watching The Family on Netflix. Wait a minute, I've been watching Family Guy. Oh. Did I do that wrong?

I've been watching all on The Family. That's racist. So, but we're doing The Family and we're going to watch it. So if you want to watch us on Netflix, it's only five episodes. So it's a shortish, it's not very long. It's not like super invested. I want to say maybe a total of like three hours worth of time. You have to invest. It's not bad. It's really not. And there's, uh, there's five episodes. We're going to be watching it. We're going to be talking about it this upcoming weekend, and we'll post it in the

next two weeks sometime. It's going to be on our main feed, but it'll be a Thursday release. So we are planning, at least that's how we're planning it now. If Tom and I can't get a whole hour out of it, then we're probably, we might just, I don't know. Give it to patrons. We're not sure yet. We're hoping we can get at least a whole hour out of it. And then what we'll do is release that to people as a Thursday release as just an extra show. I mean, it'll still count

as like one of our numbered shows, but it won't be like a Monday release. But that's coming up soon. But if you want to see us or meet us, come out to New York People's Improv Theater this upcoming weekend.

But until next time, when we come back to beautiful Illinois from the garbage-filled streets of New York City, we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie

cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing

crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. expose your sides thrust your hands bloody evidential conclusive doubt even this the opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any

information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you.