Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 491: Gigantic Demon Possession

Episode Date: October 14, 2019

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Today's show is brought to you by adamandeve.com. Go to adamandeve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y at checkout. L-O-R-Y at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from gloryhole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence

to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 491 of Cognitive Dissonance.

Cecil, you know what's an amazing thing to be able to do? What's that? It's an amazing thing to be able to record on a Thursday. And then two and a half days later, record and be like, oh man, it's only been two days. I wonder if enough crazy shit has happened for us to condense our recording schedule. And it'd be like, yeah,

turns out that's not a significant concern. We're good. Yeah. We're going to be all right. Do you know what the world I want to live in? What's that? I want to live in a world where we say, oh, man, we've got this shit going on.

We're going to have to record on Thursday and then on Sunday. And then on Saturday, when it's like, okay, well, let's see what happened. From Thursday evening to Saturday mid-afternoon, it is not possible to fill a show worth of crazy shit. Yeah, crazy, horrible shit.

Right, yeah. We should just be able to be like, so the Bulls beat the Knicks or whatever. Yeah. Like, I don't know. You should be able to be like, it was a nice day today. Some, some sun,

did you hear about the big snowstorm in Montana? When we first started talking, started doing this show. I know where you're going. And we were talking about, oh yeah, one day we won't even have to do this show anymore.

Everybody's going to be atheists and everybody's going to be smart. Reasonable. And not treasonous. You know, here's a fun game to play, Cecil. Here's a fun game to play. I do. I find myself doing that a lot, though. I find myself doing that a lot. That sigh. Sort of wistful.

Wistful sigh. No, no. Smalley's was a disdainful sigh that's true let me try Smalley yeah yeah that's a that's a that's a different

yeah okay yeah here's a fun game to play what's that think back you ever hear like the term five year plan what's your five year plan

oh yeah yeah I've heard that before yeah so it's always fun to be like well you know I'm curious if I were to like take a snapshot of the world today and then bring it back in time to say i don't know 2014 five be like hey man do you recognize

the world you're living in i bet you were wrong about everything you're wrong about everything everything everything like seriously it's like it cracks me up to think like, would I have predicted any, like five years out? Like we can't get the weather good five days out? Yeah. To think of like the geopolitical situation? I saw a hilarious tweet the other day. You ever watch Quantum Leap when you were a kid? Oh, yeah, yeah.

The tweet went something like, you know, the guy, the star of the show walks in and he says, he says, what, I haven't jumped yet? And he says, I've done like 60 things. And then Sam comes in.

He's like, well, I don't know. You're just going to have to keep doing stuff. It says here, you're supposed to get him impeached. Oh, man. You think it's going to happen? You think he'll get he'll get him i mean he'll get impeached here's what i hope happens yeah i don't care about the impeachment i really hope that he loses really badly in the next election i care about too i want him to lose so badly like so so badly like like one of those like the exact opposite of what he was saying when he was like

oh it's probably the best victory ever I would love to see the exact opposite happen to him right yeah so to see how he spins

like a crushing FDR style I would love I would love to see a Nixon second term loss against him because what isn't it like one state

was like no and everybody else was like Nixon it is. Right, they were like, I'm going to pee on you

like this Calvin poster. Yeah, there's like one person, one person in one, or one state had like two electoral votes and the rest of them were all just like,

Nixon it is. I'll tell you what would happen if he loses. If he loses, his concession speech will show up on Pornhub and be the most widely fucking masturbated to his speech. Oh my God, yeah. Cause like,ub and be the most widely fucking masturbated to speech.

Oh my God, yeah. Because like, that would be just for me jerking off to it. Like I will change the statistics in sport. Like I will chafe myself raw like a teenager. I will tell you right now, if and we probably will record election night next year. Oh God. And if he loses,

we're going to turn it to adults only. We're just going to, whoever's in studio with us, it's a circle jerk now, baby. For election night, can we not record in studio? Can we rent a hotel where we could just

thrash the shit out of it? Because I feel like I don't know that I can take it again. God, that last time was rough. That last time was rough. I am serious. I'm not driving that day. I'm going last time was rough. That last time was rough. I am serious. Like, I'm not driving that day. Like, I'm going to get a car.

You're going to get a car. Because if it happens, I'm just going to curl up in the bottom of the car and weep and hug my knees and hold a fucking Me Too because I have been bad touched at that point. And I will say this, if it doesn't happen,

if the impeachment doesn't happen and he wins the next election, then you're really fucked. Then you're really, now strap in, baby. Oh, I know. Because you ain't seen nothing yet.

You ain't seen nothing yet. That's a world where you're like, wait a minute. How bad was I in the past life? Exactly. Was I like, were we all that bad?

Man. Yep. We have done some shit. Yep. Jesus, not like we're boomers. Yeah. All right.

Well, we can do shit. We just can't fund shit. Jesus, not like we're boomers. All right. Well, we can do shit. We just can't fund it. Well, we can call everybody entitled when it doesn't work. Everyone, we have an announcement to make. Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. All right, so this story comes from a friendly atheist blog. Bishop, girls should skip college so they're not smarter than their husbands.

Oh. Oh, okay. Huh. Oh, my God. So this is this guy. He's a Brazilian billionaire and a bishop from the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God. Get a longer name for your church. Right.

Jesus. You would think with everybody getting a Brazilian like he'd be a little more open-minded. You know? They could take a little off the top is what you're saying. Just a slicker presentation. Universal church seems like a fucking redundant, right?

God's just like, no, sorry. It's just the galactic church of God. We're not doing the whole universe. We tried that. This is the church of this area, generally. This is the church of the six corners. In this speech, this guy reportedly suggested, according to a translation,

that woman's happiness is only possible through according to a translation, that woman's happiness is only possible through submission to a man. Sending his daughters to college does not help them to submit. I think this is really telling. This is something that you see a lot. It's not funny, but it's one of those... There's not a mention of equality. One person in this relationship has to be in power over the other. There's never like, we're partners, right? Or, hey, we both chip in sort of thing. There's never any of that. It's all just like, well, one person's got to be in power.

There can't be a dynamic of a relationship where one person is in power. And if she's wearing pants, what are you going to do? Okay, all right. But what you're not seeing is that there's a division of labor and it divides up like this. Okay. Everything I want to do that creates economic power social power and respect that's on my side and then all the isolated bits that make you you know count on me for your very survival well that's your side. And we've just divided up the labor equal schmeekle.

That's what we've done. What I- It's the vision of labor, Schmeekle. Exactly. I mean, it's efficient. That's why Henry Ford fucking invented doing this. Before this,

everybody made the whole baby all at once. They just hugged until the baby fell out. The dad is like a penguin. He's putting it over his feet or whatever, sticking his belly over it to fucking incubate it. But,

but seriously though, like, like I think we've come a long way in the past, you know, 150 years to thinking about the family unit as a partnership. But what keeps bringing this back over and over and over again is religion. What keeps bringing it back into and over and over again is religion. What keeps bringing it back into people's mindsets is that religion that keeps saying,

one person has to be in charge and it's got to be the man. Right. Well, religion does a great job of saying like, well, all right, it could be. Like the rest of the world is like, well, hey, we all should be a partnership, but there's these systemic, you know, economic structural issues.

You're standing in the way of creating that last step toward equality. And religion's like, what about if we step back away from equality? Because we're really just a handful of big structural economic steps away from creating

real structural institutional equality for the sexes. And I think we can get there, probably not in my lifetime, maybe the next generation or the one after. A couple of big steps. If a Democrat gets in and does the pre-K, a couple of big steps there.

I think universal childcare is the thing that like tips us over the edge and gets us so much closer, right? Pre-K is huge. It's massive. It's massive, massive. So it can get us so much closer and I think it's absolutely necessary.

But I don't want to hold my breath for things that might not happen because I keep waiting for good things to happen, and then they don't. And then nothing happens. Go home, Cardinal Pell. I've got a nice spot in hell with your name on it. And so I suggest you toughen up and go home, Cardinal Pell. All right, I found this on a bunch of different sites. I'm going to grab this one from Business Insider. 1,700 Catholic priests accused of child sexual abuse

are reportedly living freely in the U.S. with no oversight, working in schools, and failing to register as sex offenders. They use the same image, by the way. I found this at like three different sites, right? They use the same image of a guy who couldn't look more like a pedophile if he was jerking off two little kids right in this moment.

I mean, seriously, they chose the very best photo. He looks like... It is... I mean, it's hard to tell because there's no background, so you can't tell if he's looking up or he's just hunched shouldered looking forward. You can't tell. It's astonishingly pedophilic somehow. Like this guy, like this is like somebody who got caught in his ice cream truck.

Oh my gosh. Chris Hansen had this guy sit down. Like he absolutely had this guy sit down. Have you ever actually watched that show? Yeah, a couple of times. I have never seen that. Yeah, a couple of times. I've only seen clips from it actually watched that show? Yeah, a couple of times. I have never seen that show. I've only seen clips from it. Yeah, I've seen it a couple of times.

Like, you know, the thing is, is like, it's just gross. Yeah. Right? So I may have watched it once or twice. And then you just get to the point where you're like, this is super depressing. I don't want to see this. And it's, you know, they catfish, or I don't know what you call it. I guess it's not catfishing.

Catfishing is something else. Yeah. I don't know. They pretend to be somebody else online or I don't know what you call it. I guess it's not catfishing. Catfishing is something else. Yeah. I don't know. They pretend to be somebody else online. I don't know what you call that. I don't know why. There's a thing, there's a name for that, where they pretend to be someone else online,

and they dupe the people into showing up at the place. For a sexual rendezvous, right? For a sexual rendezvous. For what is clearly, from the chat, a sexual, I's, there's no way to misinterpret it. Right. You're not going to Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party. I will see you at three o'clock for the my penis in your vagina party. I mean, it's really, it's really, it's no, it's no less explicit. I will ejaculate by 3.15. I cannot wait. Guaranteed. I cannot wait to plug you up. I mean, like seriously, there's no way to mistake it.

And then what happens is, is the guy comes out and then every time the guy's just like, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done, I'm sorry. And he leaves and he just gets tackled by the police and that's the end of it. And it's just sort of like this, like you feel like you're kind of watching porn.

You feel like complicit. Like in some weird way, it's like you're watching of watching porn you feel like complicit like in some weird way it's like you're watching somebody you know and don't get me wrong i'm fucking 100 get rid of those guys like yeah fucking catch them do what you got to do to catch them yeah you don't have to tell them you're a police officer that's okay like i don't i don't care how you catch those guys um they're scumbags if you're not 13 you, you have to tell me. You have to tell me. But seriously, like I don't give a shit

how you catch them. But at the same time, I also don't want to watch it. It does seem weird to turn that into entertainment. Yeah. But it seems like a revenge porn kind of a thing.

Right. Exactly. Exactly. You know, like I hate these people too. I want to see. Sure. And I guess like part of me is like,

I mean, I do want to see bad things. I guess what I want to know, do want to see bad things i want i guess what i want to know i want to know that they are caught yeah i don't know that i necessarily want to revel in their in you know what i mean like yeah well i don't want somebody to like tell me about like the gross shit leading up and i know we're already off on a tangent but i do want to say like one thing that i think though that shit like that does and shit like, and don't get me wrong, I like murder shows, right?

I like those shows. But I think that those shows and like shows about rape and shows about like this make it seem like that shit's more common than it actually is. You know what I mean? And that's a bad thing, right?

Because constantly you hear over and over and it also makes us want to hate those people and really severely punish them more so than I think we probably, that's probably good for society because- The sexual predators? Not, sexual predators, murders, you know, criminals in general. I think it hardens us to them and helps us fit into this vengeance culture that we've built. And I think that it is, it can be sometimes damaging. It makes us harden our heart towards those people. Instead of paying attention to any of the circumstances that might've gotten them into that position, we remove

all that and say, they're just evil and they're horrible people because we're only paying attention to a snippet of their life. And like a lot of those murder shows and things like that. You're only paying to a certain, and you focus on the most horrible thing ever. And we judge them by that most horrible minute of their life. So this is 1700 Catholic priests accused of child abuse. I want to be clear about a couple of things. Many, in many of these cases, these are people who have been accused, but who have not been tried and convicted. And there's a vast difference, right? Because of obvious reasons, like there's a huge difference. But what struck me about this article is that if you're an institution like the Catholic Church, and you know that you have a problem in your organization related to the sexual abuse of

children, and you know somebody has been credibly accused of sexual abuse of children. Sure. And you know somebody has been credibly accused of sexual abuse of kids. And you've got a massive organization, but they've just been accused. And if you're the organization giving the benefit of the doubt, wouldn't the easy thing to do be to remove them from the parts of their lives

within your organization that are going to allow them to fucking intersect with kids? Like, some of these people still are working in schools. Some of these people still work in unsupervised ways in and among parishes. Like, you know you have a problem. Even if you didn't believe in the problem from just a purely, like, self-defense standpoint, it seems like just remove those people.

Like, have a mechanism. Like, all right, so-and-so has been accused seems like just remove those people. Have a mechanism. Like, alright, so-and-so has been accused. The accusation seems credible. We're going to take that person. We're going to put them with a minder. We're going to move them to an administrative role. They no longer have a parish-related position. Their constant refusal

to do what seems to be, to me, like, common-sense measures to protect the public. They should muzzle these guys. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Whenever they get an opportunity and they don't.

They don't do shit. And they basically put them in like, okay, well, you got to choose a sex offending. All right, well, you know what we really need in Sacramento? We need a judge for a child beauty pageant. That's what we need. So is there any way that you could do that for us? Okay.

It turns out Tulsa needs a child's underwear fitter. That's a weird job for us. Why do we have that job? Weird job in general. Don't ask questions. Just go ahead to the kids' underwear factory. So here's the people. They've got some statistics in here.

65 have been charged with a variety of crimes since they left the church. Of those, 50% relate to sexual assault, child pornography, and fail to register as a sex offender. 76 are licensed to work in schools as counselors or in medical establishments. Of the 310 previously charged with sex crimes,

only 85 are now on state sex offender registers. More than 400 live within 610 meters or 2,000 feet of a school, playground, or childcare facility, and 64 have been jailed, and 13 others are facing criminal charges since leaving the church. Like, the whole way that the church treats this just denies the reality of the problem

that they so obviously fucking have. And if these people would have been punished in the first place and, you know, then also watched and also gone through some sort of rehabilitation, maybe those numbers would be dropped. Yeah. Even if, even if all that happened was that they were accused and even if the accusations were never proven up, right? It just would be the smartest thing for just your own self-defense to say, all right, well, you know, so-and-so has been accused.

We haven't been able to verify it, but we know institutionally we don't want to look bad. The optics are bad. Yeah. So we're going to remove that person from public interaction. And they're always, anytime they're in public, there's going to be a two adult system. Yeah. Like. It's not hard.

It's not hard. It's not hard. Most schools now have a two adult system when it comes to kids. Right? Yeah. So most of the time, like you can't be alone in the fucking changing room as the only grown up in the changing room. Smart.

You know what I mean? Super smart. That's not. And it's not hard. room. Smart. You know what I mean? Super smart. That's not... And it's not hard. Right. Yeah. That's the problem is it gets hard

when you have only fucking one adult in the fucking changing room and they're a fucking creepoid. Yeah. Yeah. Had to be your mom. They cannot arrest

a husband and wife for the same crime. Yeah, I don't think that that's true, Dad. Really? I got the worst of f***ing attorneys. This story is sad. This is a really sad story.

It's from LGBTQ Nation. The case of an outed teen who died of suicide is in the hands of an anti-gay prosecutor. So, I mean, there is a kid in Tennessee who is being outed based on Snapchat. So he had whatever. It doesn't even matter. It makes no difference.

That's the part of it. Like, he got outed, right? And he got outed and he sent his brother a message and said, you know, I got to leave social media for a while. I'm scared. You know, I got outed by all this stuff. And not too long after that, he committed suicide. Not too long after that, he committed suicide. And the prosecutor in charge of making sure that this kid got some semblance of justice as a result

is on the record as basically disqualifying domestic abuse incidences as domestic abuse. Yeah. If they did not occur, or if they occurred as part of a homosexual relationship, saying like, I don't recognize the relationship. Therefore, the specific protections that are given as part of domestic abuse, I'm not going to apply.

This is a guy who selectively applies the law based on his complete dismissal of the validity of homosexual relationships. And that's the guy prosecuting and trying to get justice for this fucking teenager whose life was tragically cut short because of this terrible incident. Like, we have to have a moment where we realize, I think, that public office is incompatible with bigotry. Yeah. If you have bigoted views, those are your right to hold.

Yeah. If you have bigoted views, those are your right to hold. Yeah. But the moment that your actions and your bigotry intersect, you should be immediately removed from office. Except for in Tennessee, this isn't bigotry, this is normal. Yeah. You know, it's sad that this kid is in both life and in death being discriminated against. Yeah. Right? Like that's the horror is that even though he killed himself, he's still being discriminated against and can't be a proper victim. One of the things that they say in here is like,

this guy, he does not treat LGBTQ victims as the same as straight victims. Well, let me tell you, this guy died just as much as a straight guy would have. Yeah, right. You know, and the thing is, is he was bullied too. Like, this is all bullying. Like, why he was outed as a, you know, and they're saying it's because of bullying. Right. And he doesn't choose to be out.

He gets outed and then there's no reason to do this. There's plenty of, there's a lot of helplines out there that you can call. I know for sure that there's charities out there like It Gets Better and things like that that help people out in this situation. But he committed suicide and that's a horror. And then to have this guy just be like, yeah, I don't even treat those things the same. I don't even consider it the same. You can't expect that he's going to follow the same channels he would if somebody was bullied because they were something else, whatever other things that someone gets bullied for. Yeah, how can he have like, as the prosecutor,

he is working on behalf of the victim for whom he has clearly no compassion. Yeah, he doesn't care about him. So like without empathy for the prosecutor, he is working on behalf of the victim. Yeah. For whom he has clearly no compassion. Yeah, he doesn't care about him. So like without empathy for the victim, how can he work to be their advocate? Sure. It's horrible. It's fucking Tennessee. Yeah.

So like, don't get me wrong. It's not surprising. Yeah. But it is one of those things that, you know, when it pops up, you're just like, God, what the fuck is happening? Yeah. So backward. It's so backward.

Sometimes I think like, oh, you know what? We're in a world where like we're in a post give a shit about homosexuality world. And I have to sometimes pause and read stories like this and remember that like that's true in the major population centers. That's true for most numerically, most of the people living in the world because they live in places that are decent where other people live and have an education. Yeah. But in the garbage parts of the country, in all the red parts of the country, the little shithole, shit stain counties across America where like nine people get together, that's like the whole southeast of this country. Yeah. Like. It is still, it's 35 years behind where we're at today. Absolutely.

Take whatever the date is and roll it back 35, 40 years, and that's what you get when you fucking drive south. You go, this kid gets outed anywhere up north, there's a support group for him.

I'll be cutting your hair today. This story made me laugh. It's just crazy. News18.com. Four barbers detained and packed for styling customers' beards in an un-Islamic way. The un-Islamic way, by the way, is trimming them. Yeah. In this story, because they say, it says, un-Islamic is stylish. Because they say they trimmed it in a stylish way.

So Islamic is frumpy, I guess is what. Yeah, right. Like that's the. Can you imagine? Your face just shits out hair everywhere. Just unruly, just poking out like the fucking crack and exploding from your skin. Cecil, you have a pretty righteous beard.

If you didn't style it, if you didn't get it like... You got to comb it a lot. It would be wild. Yeah. It gets nuts. It gets nuts. It gets nuts on my own.

I mean, without any... I mean, I'd be sticking out all weird. It doesn't all grow at the same rate. No, no. Like, if you want to look crazy homeless, like, that's the best way to do it. Absolutely. I love the idea that they're like,

all right, you got to have a beard. You got to have a beard and it can't be a stylish beard. We are so afraid of the modern world that like, we'll let you,

we will let you have a beard as long as it is an unstylish beard. They should have covered up the beards with hijabs. Like a little beard cut or something.

Oh, I like it. It just covers it up and it's like like when they go swimming in their little burkinis or whatever they get like a little thing that wraps around and i think it would be amazing if like women had to wear like the head covering and the men had to wear the opposite version so it's like just the thing across your eyes. Yeah. The rest of your fucking skin exposed. So it's just like if you put them together

it's one fully covered person. You know what you need to do though. Instead make it the rule that nobody can shave but everybody's got to wear something

over the hair. So women are walking around with like big things on their legs and on their arms and covering their head but guys have this big giant thing things on their legs and their arms and covering their head. But guys have this big giant thing on their face. And I got the bike. My back is completely I've just got like things on my nipples. What is that? What is that?

Tom's making him go in two different directions. You got to go left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm. If you don't, you're never going to get him flowing otherwise. Opposite directions. I don't even know if that's true. And then they go the other way.

Yes, I do. I wear tassels all the time. Oh, gosh. Oh, these are my work nipple tassels. It's like cufflinks for your nips. It's like pocket squares. So, Tom tom right now our sponsor adamandeve.com and adamandeve.com i just want to mention if you like to fuck if you don't really yeah but if you like to fuck and you like to get fucked

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This story's from a friendly atheist. This is Rick Wiles. Can't even tell if he's kidding. Hillary Clinton looks good because she's drinking a lot of blood. Here we go. A lot of blood. All right, so let's play it. Do you think he's kidding?

I don't know. This is short, so let's hear. We'll listen to it, and then we'll talk. Physically, she's looking much better. She must be drinking a lot of blood. On the vampirism side.

Yeah. I mean, because she's definitely getting transfusions because she's stronger. Yeah, she was pretty weak back there in 2016.

She was, that woman was falling apart. But they've, obviously, they've been taking her to a lot of spirit cooking events and she's that woman was falling apart but they've obviously they've been taking her to a lot of spirit cooking events and she's she's been revived or alternatively she's not on the campaign trail anymore yeah like and working 20 hours a day all right hey she's looking better than when she had walking pneumonia yeah oh wow yeah Sometimes when people are sick,

they look sick. Yeah. Or when they get worked. Yeah. Yeah. Like just being, I mean, just being on the campaign trail has got to be so grueling.

Yeah. And you're constantly weighing everything you have to say. And you're constantly contrary concentrating to try to figure out, to make sure you don't fucking fuck up. Yeah. How exhausting would that be for how long did she do it? Yeah. And then,

like, now she looks better? No shit, dude. She's resting. Are you serious? Right. Right.

Yeah. It's like, it could be that she's getting blood transfusions. Yeah. Which would be really helpful if she were low on blood. Yeah. Like, blood transfusions aren't,

like, you have have as a regular walk-in person the right amount of blood yeah like unless something happens a blood transfusion just gives you more blood doesn't help yeah and the other thing too is that it's if you give somebody blood of like you know like a younger person it doesn't do anything it's not like it's not like your blood's just like, oh, we got an influx of young blood in here. Otherwise, it would be publicly, it would be available as a fucking anti-aging

and beauty treatment. Absolutely. Right? Absolutely. And they do for scammers, but it's not like a major thing. Right. And, you know, they say they're talking about how this blood is taken off, you know, it makes her look younger or whatever. Well, if that's the case, well, then when fucking

AOC steps down, she's going to be a zygote. Make it lose 25 years. She's getting pushed around in a stroller afterwards. Does it make any sense? And then, of course, they bring up spirit cooking, which is

what they want to talk about. She's been eating a lot of semen lately, is really what they want to say about she's been eating a lot of semen lately is really what they want to say here like semen bakery goods isn't that what they want to talk about they're just mad someone else is eating cum yeah i'm super mad about it i wanted to eat it and i can't because it's not socially acceptable in my group of friends it's perfectly fine rick everywhere else outside outside of your weird little group. Yeah, right. If you want to just fucking bake with it, bake with your own.

Although I think that's probably a circular. It's like an Ouroboros problem. I was old and then I ate old people cum and now, God damn it. My balls are prunes right now. I can only blow people

that are younger than me or I age every time. What's wrong with these people? He's got a whole stable full of young kids that he's... I shall milk these children. Okay.

Did you see the thing that happened this week with two of the candidates? Two of the candidates. One, Bernie Sanders, of course. Had a heart attack. Had a heart attack. What I read immediately after was like, yeah, two of the candidates. One, Bernie Sanders, of course. Had a heart attack. What I read immediately after was like, yeah, it's totally normal. It's cool. He'll be fine in a couple of days. And he was. So I didn't really look that deeply into it. The other one was that Jacob Wall and Liz Warren. Did you see this? No. So Jacob

Wall this week, I remember that guy who's like, Mueller totally had a sexual assault thing that happened to him a while back. Do you know who that guy was? So Jacob Wall said, I found out that Liz Warren is into BDSM and I found a guy who had BDSM sex with her and she's a cougar, yada, yada, yada. And they bring this guy out and he's like a buff, like ex-military guy. He takes his shirt off. He shows the scar that Elizabeth Warren gave him. But then 10 minutes later, somebody's like, yeah, on his Instagram, he doesn't say that that's where the scar came from. And he's showing the scar off on his Instagram, right? So he's clearly a fucking liar. And so is Jacob Wall. But one of the best parts is, but I don't know how long later,

Liz Warren tweets out, I just want to say thank you so much to the University of Houston because they gave me an opportunity that I was not able to get anywhere else. I paid $50 a credit hour and got a great degree and I went on to get my law degree,

et cetera, et cetera. Thank you so much. And then she put at the bottom, go Cougars. And it was the bottom, go Cougars. And it was- It was the- Oh, that's amazing. It was like a fucking mic drop moment.

And she totally got him. It was amazing. That's fucking outstanding. But it's one of those things that like, you know, here's a guy who's literally making his career on just fucking going out and slandering peace slandered um uh robert muller yeah he slandered he's slandering her you know if you're saying fly up or down if you're saying if you're saying she is out having extramarital affairs that i i i mean i don't i

don't know a lot i'm not a a law-talking guy. Right. But I'll tell you what, I sure as fuck would do everything I could to make sure that that guy heard from my lawyer. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You know, if somebody was out there spreading a lie that you were having an extramarital affair. You know, like, part of me would be like,

well, it's not true, but like super flattering that a 70-year-old lady can fucking pull in some fucking 30-year-old man meat like that. Yeah, some fucking like hunk-a-lunk over there just fucking like pull that shit in. Cool 30 year old man meat like that. Some fucking like hunkalunk over there. Just fucking like pull that shit in. Cool. Let's be real. Like if you just like reverse the genders on that and it was like some dude, like some

70 year old dude was having sex with some like super hot young chick or whatever. People would be like, yeah, that's our current president. Yeah. And he pays $130,000 to shut her up. Yep. Right. Yeah. That's pays $130,000 to shut her up. Yep. Right? Yeah. That's literally what we have

right now. How is that a scandal? I don't know. If you go reverse these on the gender. Yeah. And in this case too, it's just so unbelievable.

Right. When you talk about fucking Liz Warren, you're just like, are you serious? Come on. Like part of me is like, yeah, all right,

well, good for you. Yeah. And I don't fucking pull in some fucking premium dick. Don't get me wrong. I know. I absolutely don't care. And I may have thought about it a few times since then. But, you know, I rudely had to pull my pants down during her tweet or whatever.

No, but seriously, like I don't give a shit at all but what I do think is that it's super shitty for somebody to just be able to get away with just saying anything they want and I get what I don't want is the English system of libel where it's just like you say one little tiny thing and you're fucking paying forever because

I know that there's been a lot of shit that we've talked about where the English system of libel is way worse than the United States. It's crazy over there. It's like, you can't fucking sneeze near somebody without getting sued. But I would like some sort of recourse if somebody's, like, telling an obvious lie on a huge platform. Right.

Yeah, no, I agree with you. I don't know why it would be a big deal if she was into, like, BDSM sex. I don't know why either. Part of it's like, it's 2019. Yeah, nobody gives a shit. Fucking Fifty Shades of Grey was, like, five years ago. Yeah. Like, why either. Part of it's like, it's 2019. Yeah, nobody gives a shit. Fucking Fifty Shades of Grey was like five years ago. Yeah. Like the world has moved on from like, I like to get tied up.

Yeah. Everybody's like, nobody cares. That's your private business. Kimmy Schmidt wasn't just running away from our beloved town. She was heading east to Ohio. Ohio's stupid. This starts from the Daily Mail. Scandal of young Iraqi girls sold for sex in

temporary pleasure marriages. Pleasure in quotes here. That can last as little as an hour as one Shia cleric claims it is no problem at all to wed a nine-year-old girl. Shia clerics were filmed offering brief marriages in a BBC documentary in Iraq. One claimed there's no problem

at all with marrying girls as young as nine. We've talked about this before. Prostitution is illegal within the Sharia system. But the Sharia system has all these ways to trick God with the paperwork. They do, yeah.

It's crazy. They're just like, well, we can't have prostitutes. What we can do is have marriages, and you can fuck anybody in a marriage, and anybody can submit in a marriage, and you fucking damn well better because this is Sharia. Yeah. And, like, there's no rules on the age, so all we have to do is just do this sham marriage paperwork bullshit,

and God is like some fucking bureaucrat who's like, well, it's in triplicate. What did you want me to do? Declare raping a nine-year-old immoral? There's paperwork. This survey checks out. Yeah, right. Exactly.

Yeah, like a party is like, do you think the almighty omniscient, omnipotent being that created all matter and the idea of matter and life itself is like, well, I don't know. They have it notarized. They somehow tricked me into this. God.

I am so stupid sometimes. I guess I should have thought of that. No temporary marriages. And this is a horror too. This is not just like a way to get around prostitution. This is a way to get around child rape. It is. I mean, like,

we're talking about little kids at a certain point. They're talking nine, 13 years old in this documentary. And they're saying, hey, you know, I want to get the kids. Is it okay if I get a nine-year-old?

They're like, yeah, just don't fucking, you got to do other shit with her because you don't want to take her virginity is what they say. You got to do other shit with her. And the amount of, some of these kids,

some of these children are saying that that's how they get by is by basically, basically, you know. Yeah, because there's nobody taking care of them. Yeah.

Like these are the most at-risk people in this community, in this culture. These are the least safe, most at-risk young people. Like nine years old, that's a fucking fourth grader.

Yeah. That's a third or fourth grader. God damn. That is a little, little kid. It's a little child. It's a child. Yeah. Yeah.

That's like a kid who might cry this week. Yeah. Like it's reasonable to think that a nine-year-old is going to cry once a week. Yeah. It's reasonable to think that the nine-year-old will be upset about what's for dinner. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like in particular, they're talking about in this article, they're talking about the

two different cultures. It's Shia and Sunni. And I guess in one group, the Shia, and I may be misremembering, but I thought it was in Shia. They allow this, but the other one was under Saddam Hussein

and they didn't allow it. But now that he's gone and there's this other form of Islam came in, now it's starting to come back. Yeah. And they were able to get these guys to say horrible shit on camera.

Crazy shit. Horrible shit. And, you know, basically they're selling children. Into sex slavery. Into sex slavery. Yeah. And like the one guy,

like one of the things that stood out is like the one guy posing like in the documentary things that stood out is like the, the one guy posing like in the, in the documentary where the film or the undercover investigation, whatever, he's like, I don't want to commit to a long-term marriage. Yeah.

And I was like, that's what a marriage is. Yeah. I don't want a long-term marriage. I don't want a permanent one. Yeah. Is there any way we can get a semi-permanent one? I want one that washes off in the washing machine.

Like a temporary tattoo? Yeah. Like, okay, here's the thing. We'll put on put on the wedding ring yeah and it's made of wet paper yeah and when it falls off we're not married anymore we'll get we'll get henna that says i love you yeah and then when that washes away in a couple weeks it's over how's that yeah i drew my wedding ring on with a mr. Stink marker or whatever. Mr. Stinky markers. Mr. Stink would be a good idea. Mr. Stink is better. Mr. Stink is better.

Smell my finger. Smell my finger. Mr. Stink markers. Does this smell right to you? I find the defendant not guilty. As for science versus religion, I'm issuing a restraining order. Religion must stay 500 yards from science at all times.

All right, this story comes from fox4news.com. Freedom from Religion Foundation files complaint against judge after giving Bible to Amber Geiger counter. So Amber Geiger, Geiger, Guger, she doesn't have to count that high. That's for sure. They didn't give her that much time. So let's talk about that bullshit for a second.

Like I know, I think you and I have some different thoughts sometimes on the criminal justice system in terms of like incarceration. Sure. This is a woman who was a police officer and she barged into the wrong house. And there was a dude sitting in his fucking chair

eating vanilla ice cream. And she pulled out her service weapon and she shot him in the chest and killed him. And she said, oopsie daisy, totally thought that was my house. Apartment, sorry, apartment.

Is absolute unmitigated bullshit. It is impossible for me to fathom a world where that could possibly be a true set of circumstances, right? And even if it were, it's impossible for me to imagine a world where I am sympathetic to that excuse for why you pulled out your gun and shot a man eating vanilla ice cream.

Sure. If it was Neapolitan... Oh, I get it. I get it. I'd be right there with him. So she was convicted of murder. Yeah. In Texas. The other thing, too, and I do want to point this out. I read this somewhere that one of the things that happened right afterwards was her

worried about losing her job. Yes. And so that, to me, says that's not a level of remorse that I would like to see in someone who just took another human being's life. Right. Yeah. I can't, like, I remember I was in my apartment one time.

And I was sitting, just sitting in my chair watching TV. And some dude opened the door. And he got my apartment mixed up. He was visiting a friend. I don't know how he got my apartment mixed up because it's a very end unit. Like, it seems like hard to do, actually. But he opened the door. And I stood up. I'm like, hey. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa do, actually. But he opened the door, and I stood up, and I'm like, hey!

And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wrong apartment. He closed the door, and he walked away. And I thought, well, I should keep my door locked. That was foolish, right? But, like, he didn't shoot me. Right. But if somebody was supposed to shoot somebody, and nobody should,

because, like, that problem solved itself in, like, a half a second right right we have a problem in america where everybody's carrying a if you're carrying a gun around you solve a problem with guns i got scared i shot him yeah and like we had we we had a moment here nationally where maybe that was going to be okay well she was scared she shot him that was her defense yeah her defense was everybody i got scared that's every one of their cop defenses though is always i was afraid i don't think being afraid is enough to kill somebody i don't think i got scared so i get to kill you is something i should be able to say out loud yeah unless you're running at me with a knife like getting like with stabby motions yeah like it's crazy

yeah to say out loud that that's what happened. So she gets convicted of murder. And Texas doesn't have first degree, second degree, third degree. Texas has like murder. Texas is fucked. And then they have capital murder, which means that you're eligible for the death penalty. Otherwise, they have murder and capital murder. So she gets convicted of murder.

And she gets 10 years. The amount of latitude, by the way, that the judge has is between two years and life. She gets 10 years, five with parole. Five with parole for shooting a guy eating ice cream in his own home. I think that's insane. That's insane to me. We send people away, like, and I don't think that's right either. We send people away for vast amounts of time for for crimes that are tiny and i think that's wrong i think we should not do that but i think it's like equally wrong that somebody like

uses the excuse of i carry a deadly weapon on my hip at all times and when i get scared i shoot people and that's five years incarcerated? Of all the people. That's wrong. Of all the people who should be more judicious in how they use it is someone who has to carry it every day. Right.

At this point, you're like, you carry it around with you every day. You make a decision. Every single person you meet, you make a decision not to shoot them. Every single person, every single interaction in your day while you're wearing that gun, you make a decision not to shoot them. Every single person, every single interaction in your day while you're wearing that gun, you make a decision not to

shoot that person. And in this particular situation, you make the decision to shoot that person? Here's the other thing I don't understand. Why the fuck does a cop have to carry a gun when they're off-duty? I don't think there's any reason for them to carry the fucking gun when they're off-duty. If you're in the military, you get

a gun, you check it in and out of the armory yeah right like if i'm a cop why can't i like go to work and check my gun out of the fucking armory yeah why do i have to walk around with a fucking gun on my hip all the time and i know people say like well what if i run into a criminal that i arrested last week and he's mad at me give me a fucking break on that shit show me some instances where that's statistically likely to cause a problem and maybe I'll change my mind, but I don't buy that for a fucking second otherwise.

Like we have no reason for people to strap a fucking gun on their hip and walk around. All it does is escalate a situation that I've been in. Yeah. Where somebody walked into my house and I stood up scared.

I was like, what the fuck are you in my house for? And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And it resolved without violence. There's a reason I don't walk around the house with my fucking gun on my hip. Right. I was like, what the fuck are you in my house for? And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And it resolved without violence. There's a reason I don't walk around the house with my fucking gun on my head. I do own a pistol, but I just don't.

It's unloaded all the time. I remember recently in the last maybe five years, I had just gotten my concealed carry and I was carrying my gun and I was in a car and I was driving and this guy, we got into like a stupid argument honking. He cut me off really badly. We drove into the bike lane and literally drove down the pylons

to get in front of me for no reason. And because I was going a little slow waiting for the light to go, you know? Yeah. And so he got in front of me. So I just, I literally just tapped my horn. He starts flipping me off. He starts freaking out. He starts to get out of his car.

He's a big dude. Yeah. He's a big guy. I was legitimately afraid. Yeah. But I didn't pull my gun out and shoot him. You know what I mean? Like I was legitimately afraid, probably more afraid than she was walking into a strange apartment, but I didn't do it. Right. I didn't do it because I was like, well, that's fucking stupid. Why would I shoot somebody for cutting me off? Like that's fucking dumb. And, and. And the problem is, is that we forgive. This isn't a fucking isolated case, right?

The problem is, is that this isn't one of those things that we can just all pretend nothing else happened previous to this with black people and the police. We can't all just be like, oh, well, this is an isolated incident and nothing ever bad ever happens, et cetera.

One of the people that fucking testified in this was murdered. Did you see this? I did yesterday. So like, and again, et cetera. One of the people that fucking testified in this was murdered. Did you see this? I did yesterday. So like, and again, I don't want to say like that where he was killed by the police officers. I don't know. You know what I mean?

Like, I don't know. I don't know enough about the case. But again, like we are in a position right now where we have a very long history of law enforcement mistreating black people. It's evident and it's open and it happens all the time. Watch a dozen of those shootings that happen and you can see while they're in the line of duty,

people are begging for their life, getting shot. People are like complying and getting shot. People are sometimes fighting back minor, in a minor way and getting killed, getting choked out. Some people never even get an opportunity to respond and comply. Exactly. They just get murdered right there. So let's not, I mean, this is, this is not happening in a vacuum.

This, this, this case is not happening in a vacuum. So I get that. In this particular instance, there's this weird moment where the judge walks up and gives her a hug and like gives her a Bible. What is happening here? Like this is somebody who murdered another person. Yeah. Here, what makes me crazy is like, there's no way the judge would give a hug

to the fucking sentenced murderer if this was some black guy. Yeah. There's no way. But because it's a white woman, I think she's treated differently. I just do. I think that that's 100% the case.

And she's like, oh, you know, I hope you learned a lesson from this and you got to read the Bible. And the woman's like, I don't have my fucking Bible. She's like, oh, let me go get you mine. And she goes and gets a Bible

and gives it to her. And she has this like moment. This thing doesn't, this doesn't happen with like some dude, like some fucking random black dude from the fucking West side. Do you think he gets a fucking snuggle from the judge? No, God, no.

Absolutely not. No, it says here, this is your job for the next month. You read right here, John 3, 16. Hold on a second. It's not going to take me a whole month. Let me read it out loud real quick. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son

that whosoever believeth on him, ooh, I believeth on him, should not perish, but have eternal life. For God loved the world so much that he gave his only son so that everyone who believes in him may not die,

but have eternal life. It's like 30 words long. Yeah. What are you going to fucking read one word a day? Is that what's going to happen? But they filed a complaint, the Freedom From Religion Foundation

filed a complaint against this. They did. They didn't say that it was, you know, they did say that they respected her or whatever, but they just don't like the idea of a judge getting off the fucking bench

and going to get their fucking Bible. And preach to somebody, basically. Couldn't you just do this? Like, the other thing that pisses me off too is like, if you really wanted to do this, you're the judge to be like, yeah, can you bring her to my chambers?

Like, can't you just do this in private? You know, if you want to do this, if that's something that you feel absolutely called to do, okay, go visit her while she's in the fucking jail. You can do that on your off time. The problem I have isn't that she decided to share her religious belief with somebody, right? It's that she did it on my dime as a duly appointed representative of the government. That's the time she chose. To your point, like she didn't do it on her off time. She didn't go visit this woman on a Saturday. And you know what?

I don't think she ever would because I don't think these people care enough to burn up half their Saturday visiting some murderer in jail. I think what they want is, oh, you know what? It felt good for me in the moment. It cost me virtually nothing.

A Bible is basically free. You can check in at a fucking Motel 6 and replace it. Yeah. You know what? You know what also pisses me off though too is that like here's a judge who their job is to give out punishment for us. They do it for us, right?

They work for us. They give out this punishment for us. And part of this punishment for us. And part of this punishment is religious based. Part of this punishment is right on the board, a hundred times, John 3, 16. Fuck you. How about fuck you judge? How about no? How about we don't do that? How about we put her in fucking jail, which is what we all fucking agreed to. Instead, you're saying that this is part of her punishment. You're a fucking figure that doles out punishment. And to say that this is something

that you should do to, and I gotta say the word, repent is bullshit because not everybody agrees with that shit. China has total respect for Donald Trump's very, very large brain.

They call her Pocahontas. I am the chosen one. You are fakehontas. I am the chosen one. You are fake news. Okay. I am the least racist person. Oh, look at my African-American over here. Look at him. It's a camera.

Grab him by the pussy. Stop it. So, Tom, this week in Trump, there's a Raw Story article. It says Trump went absolutely nuts in front of reporters. Here are the craziest highlights. I'm just going to read the highlights.

Trump blatantly lies about Democrats' reaction to his phone call with the president of Ukraine, in which he repeatedly pressed the Ukrainian government to investigate Joe Biden. He also, Trump gets called out for lying about his interests in having the Bidens investigated. And then he says, I mean, basically it's just like he gets called out

and then his response is, you know, we have to look. Trump delivers bizarre monologue about how he's electrifying Christianity. And then Trump tries distancing himself from the State Department texts that came out. Trump falsely blames the American allies

for the Russia investigation. And then also today, legal team says it represents a second whistleblower over Trump and Ukraine. So the second whistleblower came forward and there's another one, not just one, but it's also a CIA, from what I read, it's also a CIA operative as well.

And they are firsthand, not secondhand information. Yeah, this is firsthand. That's a big, that's potentially a big deal, right? Because one of the potential defenses, which I don't understand because their White House released their own transcript, but one of the defenses is, look, this is secondhand information.

Secondhand information we gave you. That we provided to you that was part of our record of the conversation. Anyway, that doesn't make any sense. But the secondhand information, now they're like, ah, cool. you that we provided to you that was part of our record of the yeah conversation anyway we that doesn't make any sense but the secondhand information now they're like ah cool well now there's firsthand information so there goes that yeah i i love i love too on the on the whistleblower thing that trump's like ah we're working so hard to find out who the whistleblower is he was clearly a partisan whistleblower like you don't even know who he, you don't even know who he was? Yeah, you don't even know who he is.

But we know his politics? Yeah, you know his politics because he's against you, right? Whoever's not with me is against me, is his real message there. One thing that bothers me about the whistleblower things, and this is two in a row that are coming forward, the right has genuinely poisoned the well by talking so much about deep state for so long.

And it's not just fringes. This is not just the fringe that talks about the deep state now. It's everybody who talks about the deep state. And they have poisoned this well to the point now where you can't even believe a CIA operative. I watched a guy, one of the representatives in Congress today,

being interviewed by the Meet the Press guy. And he said he does not believe the FBI and the CIA. He said out loud, he's a congressman, and he said out loud he doesn't believe the FBI and the CIA anymore. You know, we're at a crisis point,

genuinely. Like, we're at a crisis point where it's like, if you can't believe, here are the following institutions that if you're on the right, you don't believe. So I want you to tell me, honestly, where do you get information about what's going on? Yeah, right. So we don't believe the FBI. We don't believe the CAA. We don't believe the NCAA. We don't believe the NSA. We don't believe any media corporation that publishes a paper publication of any kind or is broadcast on the radio or is broadcast on television.

So we don't trust major media outlets. We don't trust any member of the intelligence community. Okay, so where do we get information from? We don't trust any... You can only get it from Trump. You can only get it from the people in power who it's in their best interest

to lie to you, right? It's in their best interest to deceive you. Those are the only people that you can absolutely get information from. That's an insane way to think about the world.

It's crazy to me. How do I even know what Trump says if I don't rely on media? Yeah. You have to watch him give a- I have to watch him somewhere. You have to watch him

give a shouty interview outside of a helicopter, which is what he does now all the time. But honestly, and I'm not being crazy, where do I watch that at if not through some media source?

Yeah, sure. Like, unless I am the president, like, unless I am that person. Or I'm part of the crowd that he's talking to. Right. Those are your two options. Like, because I can't count on, I can't turn on the news and be like,

oh, because you know how it's going to work. It's like, oh, that was out of context, right? That's big media, you know, not showing you the full story, not spinning it, not getting, so all that's discounted. Yeah. So i don't even know that it's necessarily like if i have to discount everything i see and hear and read what the fuck like what other source of information am i supposed to have my supposed like rub a shocker in my asshole supposed to get all your information through

flipping over tarot cards or something yeah really genuinely i don't know where you get your information from. We're out of options. Like just the internet in general, just like I went online randomly. Yeah. Well, Liz Crokin told me. And so therefore I'm going to believe it.

That's well, and right now, like I said before, the well has been so poisoned about this deep state thing. It's to the point now where I genuinely don't believe that if things really seriously progress with a whistleblower and they get a ton of stuff, that there's going to be, I have a feeling

that there's going to be a genuine group of people in this country and not a small group that will reject that information because they will call it deep state. I think that there's going to be a lot of people that will reject that information. I think they already are. There's a congressman

that I saw today that literally rejected the information. I know. How much does, you know, like part of me was going to say, like, how much does it matter what the public thinks in a circumstance like this? You know, and how much does it matter what the power brokers think, right? Because like, is it a matter? It's not a matter. We don't, we're not having a referendum on the impeachment. Like we're having. But what you do have is a bunch of people who are easily moved. And so he's talking about civil war. He's talking about, you know, a coup. He's using those words, Tom. He's not saying, he's saying civil war in his tweets. He's saying coup in his tweets. Right. If you say those things, suddenly people may act. They may start to do shit, like go after high ups, may start to do some horrible shit around the country.

This could lead into some really terrible stuff. And I got to imagine that Russia is just tenting their fucking fingers right now. This is what they wanted. Excited as hell because they were able to manipulate our government into not only complete inaction, but also devouring itself. Yeah.

They are 100% successful in all of that. They've done everything. They're ecstatic with what they've done. Oh, yeah. And every major despot in the world is also enjoying this like there's no tomorrow. If we don't return to normalcy soon, it's going to be real, real scary in 2021, 2022. Yeah, I don't disagree. I think at this point, what we can say without hyperbole is that the disinformation warfare

that was waged by Russia against the United States was a complete and unmitigated success. Sure. We are, like you said, we're devouring ourselves, which is exactly, you know, that's, by doing this, we are not concentrating on anything else. And so, you know, every week, every month, every year that goes by that we do this, we are not concentrating on anything else. And so, every week, every month, every year that goes by that we do this,

we aren't doing all the other things that are necessary for a state to act in its best interest. Just think about the inaction that comes from climate change. Just there. We were talking a couple weeks ago, it was like eight years or whatever for the end times, like no more

takesies-backsies. You're looking at, you know, if Trump gets in there times, like no more golden, no takesies, backsies, you're looking at, you know, if Trump gets in there, that's six more years, man. It's over. Two years. You're going to turn everything around in two years. Literally impossible. No, you're not. No, you're not. Don't get beachfront property, millennials. Even if a boomer dies and it's for sale,

don't buy it. Yeah. Buy property about 30 yards inland. Yeah. No matter what you do. That's your beach. Yeah. Let's talk a little bit about the shit that he's doing, that he did this last week.

We'll read a couple of these things to sort of figure out. I want to read this out loud. He's like, this is him talking about the talk, the conversation he had, the call with the president of Ukraine. If you notice, they don't mention the call I had with the president of the conversation he had, the call with the president of Ukraine. If you notice, they don't mention the call I had with the president of the Ukraine. They don't mention that because it was so good.

They only mentioned it was Adam Schiff made it up, but he gave everybody the, I don't understand that at all. Do you understand that? Does that make sense? What he's saying is they don't talk about it. They never talked about it before they found out that it contained. No, I can't make sense of it at all. No, there's no way to make sense of it, Cecil. It's word salad. It's more fucking

gobbledygookity word salad. This one's great. This is my favorite one is number two. Number two. Yeah. Number two. So the president claimed he wasn't interested in going after Biden, but was interested in tackling corruption. And this reporter, and this reporter actually got thrown out. The reporter said, you know, hey, how come this whole corruption thing is a new thing? Have you ever pressed another foreign country to crack down on corruption? And he's like, oh, I'm going to have to get back to you on that one. I'm going to have to get back to you.

Because it's not standard practice. Because he says it like it's a normal thing. Like I just call all these world leaders and say, root out corruption in your country. Yeah. What? What?

Hey, have you ever thought about getting rid of the corruption? I am corruption, man. What? I never thought of getting rid of corruption. Actually, he kind of is corruption, man.

He is corruption, man. I like this one too. Trump delivers bizarre monologue about how he's electrifying Christianity. Quote, I got a call the other night from pastors, the biggest pastors, evangelical Christians.

They said, we never seen our religion or any religion so electrified. They see they've never seen anything like it. No religion has ever been as electrified as... Really? Because I feel like in 2001, there was one particular religion, which was

very electrified. And I feel like ISIS, they've been pretty on fire for a while now. Maybe it's not electrified. Maybe they're just on fire fire is what it is. But this is absolutely him screaming

to his base saying, don't forget about me because I didn't forget about you. This is him telling the evangelicals, don't fucking flip on me. My favorite thing that he does is when he makes up stories of people praising him that never happened. Yeah, like michigan praises himself by

saying you wouldn't believe this woman was like i never had such a great orgasm such an orgasm her arms and legs they shook all akimbo such a good that's what she said to me from my penis that i did yeah anyway that's. He kept saying over and over that he was Michigan man of the year and that's like not a thing. No, Michigan man of the year. It's like that's not a thing.

Like Michigan doesn't like rate their men for whatever. Can you imagine if they did? You're like the last one because somebody is and you're just like, oh, man.

You know, we gave you a wreath because you got Michigan Man of the Year, but we gave this other guy a tuba to follow him around. Burner, burner, burner. Come down, putting face. Shove it, Satan. Oh, thou should not speak to master in such a manner. They call me master.

Wait till you see what I'm gonna call you. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. This is Jim Baker. The left is under massive demon possession. All right, so this is Jim Baker

from his show. He's interviewing a guy and you will hear the guy throughout. He's talking to another person. So you will hear him. It's Rick Renner, who's Baker's guest,

but Baker's talking mostly in this. Your book, your book answers the questions I've been asking and about, here's the title, how to keep your head on straight in a world gone crazy. He is really just genuinely like, like really electrified with this book title. Isn't he? Just like, how to keep your head on straight.

Also, first off, it's a terrible book title. I mean, like, let's just be real, real frank here, but isn't he like so excited about it? Like he's like almost like barking it at the people. Yeah, either that Cecil,

or he reads like somebody who just learned how. You know? One word, one word at a time. Like he's sounding it out. Oh, so that makes sense with the John 316

for a month thing. That makes sense. There you go, right. Yes. And I want to tell you people today, America has gone crazy. Yes. I love that woman so much.

She just can't, she never says anything. She just agrees with whoever says anything on the show. I agree that that's what she does. It has. And Rick, I don't know if you'll agree with me or not.

But I know my wife will. And if not, you're getting kicked out of the fucking audience of the Jim Baker show. Do we think we have a lot of trolls in the Jim Baker show? I believe much of politics today, especially those that have gone out on an extreme. Extreme what, Tom?

Extreme what? Left or right? Which way is he going to go? Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Wait, I know this one. Oh, poll the audience. Oh, the audience, poll the audience. Oh, the audience is all the same.

It's all old people buying buckets. You know what makes me nuts too is when people try to equate the extreme right and extreme left and I'm just like, the extreme left, really truly extreme left people are like communists who want to like take down,

you know, they're like the proletariat who want to take the means of production, right? There's nobody in this country who's screaming about the means of production, right? You never, once in a great while, you'll hear some rando say something like that, but that's not a huge movement in this country at all. If you look across the spectrum, across the world, we are center at our left. Like our far left is like center in some of these places. By comparison to most of the world. Yeah, in comparison especially to some of these other European

countries. They're just like far left. Like that dude's conservative. You know what I mean? And they look at Andrew Yang and like get the fuck out of here. That's because like what we're asking for they've had for 30 years. Exactly. Our like extreme left is like maybe we should be able to go to

school and not get sick. And the rest of the world's like, well, fucking duh. When are you going to have an idea? Everybody's like, you don't have that? And I'll say left. There was way left. What did I say?

I thought he was going to go right, but he zigged. He zigged when he should have zagged. Yeah, he was going to zag. Took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. He's old enough to remember the zag nut, I guess, that guy. I don't think I've ever had a Zagnut.

Have you had a Zagnut? Nobody under 60 has had a Zagnut. Now I kind of want to buy a Zagnut if you can find one. I don't think they make them anymore. You have to go back in time. I'm going to get a time machine. You got to go back in time. And instead of killing Hitler, you got to go buy a Zagnut.

Do you know what would be amazing, Cecil? Is to invent a time machine just to do like irrelevant shit. Like small, petty shit. Like you invent a fucking time machine. Like I could do so much good with it. You're like, try that Zagnut. Like I haven't had a Zagnut. Right, exactly.

Just like you change all the scope of the world going forward and fuck with the time dimension. You just do like a culinary thing so you're going out through history. You're like, you know, we haven't made garum in 2,000 years. Let me go eat some garum or whatever.

Yeah, I'm going to go on a culinary tour of the past. You're just doing it of the past of shit that doesn't exist anymore. You're just like, I want to eat a fucking condor

for the rest of my life. I'm going to eat a dodo salad. I'm going to eat dodos. God, it'd be so good. Just to do like mean, petty shit. Just like I invented this thing to make the world so much better. But I'm going to eat a dodo salad. I'm going to eat dodos. God, it'd be so good. Just to do like mean, petty shit. Just like I invented this thing to make the world so much better.

But I'm basically just going to be an irresponsible tourist on spring break forever. But my Instagram is going to rock. I believe there is a massive demon possession in the political realm today. There's a massive so this is like one shabby demon he's like i don't believe hell because every time i do jim baker makes fun of how big i am god damn it i've been trying to lose weight i'm cutting down on souls i'm just a massive

demon i have feelings too i can't even scratch myself. My 600 pound demon. There's just like some other demons like, just keep eating, honey. You're beautiful. They have to take down the wall of the cave just to get them out. There's all these people body shaming this demon. Every time he leaves,

Jim Baker's like, look at that fat ass. Oh, the demon's backing, look at that fat ass. Oh, the demon's backing up. Beep. Beep. Demon's got to shop at big and tall.

Got to get the right size pitchfork for his body. Look so small in my enormous hands. Do you have anything in size XXL? Am I wrong? I believe it's like hell found a voice.

Yes. Say that. Hell found a voice. Yes. And hell is speaking through the political system today and through the media. Yes. It is amazing. Isn't that great?

Hell found a voice in the left. That's it. I mean, that's exactly what he's saying. It's been their message forever, but once in a while, when you hear them say it out loud, it's really just appalling. Well, I mean, like, think about like the, like what the left wants right now. You know, they want women to be equal with men. Well, that's, that's anti-biblical, right?

Like the, any kind of like a gender parity. Sure. Is anti, to their point, education for everybody. Like that's not... Many of the things that the left would say, like, hey, these are our key talking points, are anti-biblical. I don't think they're

wrong. I just think that they're wrong about everything. We are essentially flipping that table over like Jesus. All their tenets get flipped up and thrown into the air because we're saying, no, women should be equal. No, we don't care about gay people. Yeah, you know, women should work in the workplace. We should listen to what they have to say. We shouldn't

judge people based on, you know, whether or not they identify as X or Y or Z. All these things are anathema. Immigration, healthcare, economic policy, all of these things. All the key tenets of the left. Abortion. Yeah. Abortion's huge for these guys. No, we don't want any of that.

Not really. What's happening through the media, it's just wicked. It is wicked. Yes. I'll agree with anyone. God, she just can't shut up, can she? She'll agree with anyone.

Like, if there's a man talking, I agree with that. That, if there's a man talking, I agree with that. That's what Jim said to do. She said, when a man talks, that I agree with that. Oh, God. That's what I do. I agree with a man talk. It's demonic.

It should not be permitted. It just should be permitted. We shouldn't allow dissenting voices here in this democracy. We shouldn't allow the media? Like, what are we talking about here? We can't have dissent from my view. That's what makes a democracy a democracy. You know, I think about Jesus.

Jesus told the demons to shut up. Yes, he did. And I thought, we need to take authority over all these voices and just command them to be still. Amen. Yeah, great. Command them to be still. That's going to work out great for you.

I would love it if somewhere in the Bible, Jesus actually told the demons, shut up! Stupid demons! I'm trying to sleep at 7.30 in the morning! Oh my gosh. So this week on Thursday, it's our plan to release a show.

We don't know how long the show is going to be because we haven't recorded it yet, but Tom and I watched the four-ish hours of The Family, something like that. They're 45-minute episodes. Five of them. Five of them. So it's a little over four hours. It was a little under four hours.

It was interesting, not great. And when you tune in, you'll find out whether or not what we really think about it. It's going to be a Thursday release. So if you don't care about the family on Netflix, you can skip it. It's going to be a Thursday release.

It will be 4.92, but it is going to be a Thursday release. So we'll be back next week on Monday with a full show for everyone, just like we normally would be. But we are doing an extra show this week. And again, we're not sure it's going to be full episode length or not,

but it is going to be releasing into our feed. So check out Thursday when we review The Family. And we, this is releasing, but we are recorded our citation needed in New York this last weekend. Hopefully, everybody, the band's still together. But it should be a lot of fun. We hope it's a lot of fun. We'll be back, like we say, next week with a brand new show. We had to record this one a little early so we could get out to New York and do our Citation Needed show. If you haven't listened

to Citation Needed yet, you should. We have a lot of fun producing it and we are planning right now, hopefully there's a crossing of the fingers that we'll be doing our 150th show of Citation Needed here in Chicago Live, which will be in February sometime. We'll keep you posted on when that's gonna happen. But we are excited for that to happen.

And we will read out patrons next week when we come back. Remember to keep signing up for the pizza party. We're taking 30 lucky people to do the pizza party with us here in Chicago on December 7th and 30 patrons. So look down on the patron feed patrons. You can sign up for the pizza party.

I'm going to delete you if you sign up twice on accident. I'm going to delete you. I'm going to delete you if you sign up twice on accident. I'm going to delete you. I'm going to delete one of your entries anyway. And we'll be selecting at random 30 people who sign up right now. It's a one in three chance. It's about a hundred people who signed up, a little over. It's about a one in three chance that you're going to get in.

That's pretty good chances. So it's a pretty good chance, but we're going to have 30 people sign up. We're going to have 30 people that we pick, and we're going to be having a fun time here in Chicago on the 7th, eating pizza, hanging out. So that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed.

Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble. Pseudo-quasi-alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing. Water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch. Late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces cancer cures. Detox reflex foot massage.

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