Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 503: Cow College

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

Stories from the Week Make sure to check out our livestreams on Thursdays around 9pm CT/10pm ET.  ‪ ‪ ‪  

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at this episode 503. Only 497 short episodes away from episode 1000, Cecil. Working our way up. Anyway, Cecil, today we are recording the day after

Christmas. Day after Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, bitches. Right before the new year. Yeah. So, I guess Merry after Christmas. Day after Christmas. We are releasing. Ho, ho, ho, bitches. Right before the new year. Yeah. So, I guess, Merry fucking Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. 2019 is almost over. Oh.

It feels like it's not quite as bad as 2016 because the trauma isn't just as fresh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's been a hell of a year, buddy. I will say, too, like, it's also pins and needles till November. will say too, like it's also pins and needles till November. It is scary, right? It's pins and needles till November. There's a terror to 2019, which is different. 2018 had this like, okay, we're going to have an election and like we could do good things

and we did some good things. And you're like, all right, they weren't as good as we hoped. They're still pretty good. They're still pretty good. 2019, you're just like, I don't know what to do, but be afraid all the time. It's like a weird. It's pretty crazy. And you're like, well, okay,

well, who's going to be on the Democratic side? It's like everybody. You're like, it can't be the Trump. Everybody, always. We're still at everybody. Every time you think you narrow it down, like three more people. It's crazy.

You couldn't even get all these people to one place in an Uber. I'm talking like an Uber black six-seater wouldn't be able to fit everybody. At some point, don't we have to settle on just a solid two of them? Man, I think that there's clearly some fat that can be cut,

but I'm going to be happy with whoever it is. I know that we're going to always get that email and people are like, hey man, you're going to be happy with it. Yes, I will be happy with whoever it is. That's that we're going to always get that email and people are like, hey man, you're going to be happy with it. Yes, I will be happy with whoever it is. That's bullshit. If somebody's not perfect, they're wrong entirely.

Let me explain how this works. Okay, tell me how it works. So first of all, and you probably don't know this, but there's a test. Okay, what's the test? It's a purity test. Okay, is it a democratic purity test?

It's very hard to pass. It's very, very hard to pass. Flint, Michigan does it best. That's for sure. Their water would not pass hard to pass. Flint, Michigan does it best. That's for sure. Their water would not pass a purity test. They don't pass any test. Well, they pass the lead test, but they're too much.

That's bad. You want a lower score? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Sure. Yeah. Fewer strokes. Yes.

Oh, my God. You know what's amazing is like, if you have too much lead in your system yes oh my god you know what's amazing is like if you have if you have too much lead in your system it increases aggression like it lowers IQ

but also increases aggression so lead water leads to lead pipes being swung around like it's just like it's a vicious cycle of this more lead

weird lead or a Boris more bullets flying around exactly yeah you get lead poisoning a couple different ways More bullets flying around. Yeah. You get lead poisoning a couple different ways,

for sure. You know, it's like rock beats scissors. It's just like lead just, it's like, ah, just lead's more lead. It's like, ah, lead,

fuck you. Don't bring scissors to a lead fight, my friend. Whatever you do. But 2019's wrapping up. 2019 is wrapping up. I'm beginning to process the trauma

from 2019 and begin the fresh trauma of 2020 you know what I am not going to do what's that I am not going to make bold prognostications

of victory because I do still recall the horror of that day oh my gosh and I'm also going to get a car to drive me home so I can I'll tell you it has, it has been a ride up until now. And there's no way to trust

any kind of polling, right? Even, even as we're coming up on it, because you've been burned so bad, when you look up on it in the future, you're going to be like, even if whoever it is, he or she is ahead of Trump by 20 points, you're still going to be like, no, no, no. You're exactly right. You've been burned so bad at this point, it's like,

well, I'm not going to cheat again. It's like, you know what? I can't trust you. I'm done. Dad, wake up. You're not a a robot you're just possessed by the devil the power of christ compels thee i'll call work and tell him he can't make it all right so let's talk about some stories i love the way this one is written i actually picked this because of how wonderfully true and snarky it is yeah it's from the friendly atheist blog representative for known child sex abuse ring warns about the dangers of satanism

and this is actually it's a representative of the catholic church right so that's the representative for known child sex abuse ring. And I think that that's the way we need to like talk about the Catholic Church now. So when somebody brings up the Catholic Church, you should be like. That is amazing. Wait a minute. Are you talking about the child sex abuse ring? God, it is such a great opening line.

Just read the opening line. All right. A representative for the Catholic Church, an organization known for covering up for priests who sexually abuse young children. That's the thing. It's amazing. That is literally part of what... The only defense, if you're the Catholic Church, would be to say,

what's the all we're known for? We have nice rosaries. Have you seen the stained glass? Look at the candles that we put out. You can just walk in and light any one of those. Those things aren't free. They're buying themselves. The fuck?

We're in this beautiful stained glass house. Now, don't throw stones. Okay? We learned that lesson. We didn't learn that lesson. We should have learned that lesson. It's a shitty drafty building with uncomfortable furniture. We get it. We learned that lesson. We didn't learn that lesson. We understand. It's a shitty drafty building with uncomfortable furniture.

We get it. We get it. But it smells nice. I did read something interestingly about Notre Dame Cathedral. 50% chance it's still going to fall.

Really? After that fire. No shit. Yeah, they're like, yeah, that scaffolding in there. Oh, I thought that cross that fell or whatever was going to keep it up.

That was going to prevent any damage for the future. Huh. That's weird. It's so funny. It's crazy. It's almost like. Totally thought God was going to save that one. Huh.

So weird. Guess he didn't like that one. You know, fire still wins. Hey, Catholics, Protestants were right. Oh, anyway. Anyway. All right. So this guy says,

Dominican Father Francois de Terminé or whatever. De Terminé. De Terminé. De Terminé. De Terminé. De Terminé. I love that he's described this as

an exorcist from Italy. And I'm just thinking like, no shit. Huh. You could have just written an exorcist. Exactly. Do you want to read what he says here?

Yeah. So here's what he says. There are many groups of Satanism. He said, knowing that internet has exposure has also increased.

I don't know what that means. Internet exposure has also, from when? Yeah, sure. From before there was an internet? Yeah, I mean like now

I have internet on my phone and I didn't in 2003. Right. So, okay. Internet exposure. You know, I see the internet every day now. Oh. And references to the demonic are increasingly prevalent in video games and school games such as the Charlie Charlie

Challenge. What is this, fucking 2015 or whatever? It's so funny because like Cecil and I were talking about what stories to cover. He's like, we did a Charlie Charlie one. And I looked at him blankly. Even though I read the story, I picked the fucking story. In my mind, this is the sex abuse story. Like that's the funny line.

Yeah. The Charlie Charlie thing is so fucking stupid that I fucking can't even remember what it is. Well, it's like the Charlie Charlie thing. I can't remember exactly how it works either. but, but I always just equate it to like the candy man, right? It's like a candy man. It's a book. Like if, if you are a thinking person who believes in Catholicism at this point, you

have to look at all these fuckers that are priests and high fucking exorcists and fucking grand inquisitors or whatever the fuck these people are. You got to look at them as boogeyman peddlers. That's what they are. I mean, like seriously, they are trying to scare the fuck out of you so you believe this shit. How the fuck can you, a thinking person,

look at the Catholic church and look at this guy and be like, oh yeah, the Charlie Charlie challenge. That's definitely a threat to America or to fucking faith as it is. I mean, seriously but when you when you look at the charlie charlie challenge like to your point like do you think they're just threatened like well we're supposed to use magic to come up with answers right yeah yeah you can't use you can't use two pencils balanced on each other for answers and sped you're supposed to think at the sky until you get an answer you're right it's uh it's a uh ou an answer. Oh, you're right. It's a Ouija

board type thing. Yeah. Yeah, okay. And you have to ask the demon, Charlie. Charlie Brown. Wah, wah, wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. I can't understand you. You gotta just do yes or no. Wah, wah, wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

Get Snoopy. God damn it. You know what? I can't understand anything these adults are saying. That's why I surround myself with kids. Wait. No, that was a bad call. I shouldn't have. Fuck. All right.

I hear it now. All right, kids. Put your clothes back on. Gig is up. I see all your little pencils standing straight up. Jesus Christ. This weekend, speaking of the boogeyman, this weekend. Um,

speaking of the boogeyman this weekend, I was talking to some people and they were sharing some ghost stories that they were like, that they grew up with. Sure. But these weren't ghost stories that they heard. These were ghost stories that they've experienced. Okay. Right.

So everybody around the table was talking about ghost stories that they experienced, things that they experienced. And one of them was clearly sleep paralysis, right? Clearly sleep paralysis. But they were saying it was, there was a demon on my desk or whatever that I saw. It was on a game and I saw its face come on. I was terrified. And I'm like, yeah, you just woke up. Like- Did you say this to these people? Of course not. I would never say that.

I know that you did. I was just kidding. Because it's just rude. It's rude because also I'm super outnumbered here. So it's like, I'm just quiet. I'm on my phone, actually. I was not paying. I was pretending not to pay attention to the conversation. And then there was a lot of like lights in the forest. I saw these lights in the forest this one time.

And like they floated for a little bit and then they moved away and then they floated. And I like, I couldn't figure it out. And I got freaked out. And then another person went to an old abandoned place, like a warehouse type place and there was a pentagram there and they got freaked out

because there was a pentagram there. And I'm just like, yeah, that's a perfectly natural reaction. Some kid was being a little shitty kid and being like, ah, let's paint a pentagram. And then they painted a pentagram. So wait a minute,

just so I can recap that last story. They went to a scary place. They went to a place that scared them. And they said that it was, they immediately felt afraid. And I'm like, yeah, because there's a pentagram on the ground. And you're afraid of pentagrams.

I mean, you associate that with fear because you probably watched a hundred movies with pentagrams in. Right. But like, I would feel the same way if I went like under a viaduct and there were like swastikas. Sure. And Right. But like, I would feel the same way if I went like under a viaduct

and there were like swastikas spray painted. I'd be like, fuck, there could be like fucking skinheads around here. There's like a Nazi around here. Yeah.

Like, so like I would have, but like there wouldn't be anything supernatural about that. I would just, you know. Because it's, because it's,

there's a perfectly rational explanation. A kid did it. Right. Also like, somebody literally spray painted a marker of fear and you're like, well, I was afraid of that

thing that is meant to inspire fear. 100%. But I have a story, a ghost story. I want to hear it. So I'm going to tell you. I'm drinking with friends. We're hanging out and there's three of us and we're in a tent. So the three guys were out in this place where there's a bunch

of other tents. We're hanging out and we're drinking and we start drinking as dust hits and we start putting it back. And the three of us are laughing and we're kidding around. We're all, it was coldish outside. It was, and it was drizzling. So we were like, let's just stay in the tent. And we had a light on and none of us smoked or anything. So we're just sitting there drinking and hammering, right? So just hammering away. And I'm pretty lit at this point, not super lit and certainly stand up and walk around and whatever, but definitely lit. Yeah. I'm going to go piss guys. I get up and I go outside. I start to piss. And as I'm pissing, I look to my right and I see a floating light. I see a floating light.

It's 150 feet away maybe, but it is chest high floating. And it's moving. It's kind of moving around. Okay. And I'm looking at it. And the good thing is, is that I'm drunk.

So I'm not immediately terrified because I'm drunk. So I'm just like, the fuck is that? You like want to fight it? Yeah, exactly. Oh, fight that light. What the fuck are you you like want to fight yeah exactly like oh fight that light what the fuck are you looking at down there huh don't make me come down there i will fuck you up you're a drunk italian are you kidding me so i you looking at me light you flashing at me

huh um you yeah you fucking came light that's the problem bitch who are you looking at I'm the one that's lit here so I'm peeing I finish peeing and that's a very male thing buddy of mine I was scared but I finished peeing buddy of mine comes out of the tent good friend of our circle

comes out of the tent and I was like do you see that down there and he's gonna piss he's like what the fuck is that and I don't know I can't figure it out I'm like it's

it's floating though right and he's like yeah man that's fucking floating what the fuck is that? And I don't know. I can't figure it out. I'm like, it's floating though, right? And he's like, yeah, man, that's fucking floating. What the fuck is that? And so buddy ours, James comes out and he's like, and he's drunk too. So we're all having this drunk conversation about what the fuck it is. And so I'm like, I'm going to go down there.

And so Jamie starts to piss and he's like, he makes a joke about like, he's like, I wouldn't go down there. And so Jamie starts to piss, and he's like, he makes a joke about like, he's like, I wouldn't go down there. He's like, you heard the stories about the will of the wisp. They follow that in the forest, and then they die. Like, you don't do that. And I was like, ah, fuck it. I'm like, I'm angry.

Oh, whatever. I'm a fucking angry drunk. Let's do this. So I start walking. It starts moving away from me. It's moving away from me, moving away from me, moving away from me. Bobbing, moving around, bobbing. Bobbing away from me. Bobbing is moving away from me bobbing moving around bobbing

bobbing away from me it's tiring you out I get 25 feet from it what do you think it was? it's another camper with a lantern or headlights from a car it was a puddle and the moon was reflecting perfectly off that puddle

I got close enough where the puddle was big enough and reflected all of the moon right and it made and I saw the moon in the puddle was big enough and reflected all of the moon. And it made, and I saw the moon in the puddle. And I was like, oh, it's a fucking puddle. But because my head is moving, makes it look like it's floating. Right. It looks like it's chest high because I can't see the horizon.

Can't see the contour of the land. Can't see the contour of the land. So I saw a floating light in the woods too. It was a goddamn puddle because I went to look at it, right? Well, wait a minute. Was it a ghost puddle? Was it ectoplasm? Did you put your finger in the puddle

and see if it was Slimer? I know. There's people out there. I'm not even going to address that. I know there's people out there. I put my finger in some things that got some ectoplasm on it. And I'm not proud of that, Tom.

You just got to sniff it out and make sure you sniff it. You're like, smell my fingers. Is this a ghost? Does this smell like VD to you? Does this smell dead? Holy shit,

this smells dead. So anyway, I know that there's unexplained shit out there, right? I know that people can't explain some things. I get that. I feel like there's probably

a rational explanation. We just can't get to it. You didn't get to it because you didn't have enough information. In fact, I'm 99.9% sure there's an absolute rational explanation for many of these, you know, these ghost stories or whatever.

But I am curious if the audience has any of these like- Christmas ghost stories. Unexplainable things that have happened to them that, you know, that just, because I had another experience when I was a kid. I was going to the bathroom in my house. I'm going to the bathroom. I come home from school. This happens a lot. Start to go to the bathroom. I, it turns out I pee or poop a lot during these. But anyway, I'm going to the bathroom and the sink comes on, the sink shoots on.

And so I run out of the bathroom with my pants on my ankles, freaked the fuck out. It turns out that they were working on the water that day and the sink was already on. It just turned, the thing didn't turn on, just the water turned on because they just turned the water back on. Right.

But when in the moment, it was absolutely terrifying. I was scared shitless because I was sure it was a ghost. And then I came back in, I was like, oh, you know what? It did sputter a little bit when it started.

And you just talk, but I would be curious if there's any of these moments that you just can't explain. back in, I was like, oh, you know what? It did sputter a little bit when it started. I would be curious if there's any of these moments that you just can't explain. That would be a terrifying moment, but it would also be like the world's most weak sauce superpower for a ghost to have. Oh, God, wouldn't it be? I love the idea that ghosts have superpowers to just do like... Mundane

shit? Yeah, mundane shit. I moved your pencil a little. I made your egg yolk break. Right. Right. What a weird, weak-ass mutant power you have. Sometimes like the ghosts

seem to have enough power to move something like big, but just a little bit. And I'm always like, couldn't you move something smaller, but like longer? Like how does this force equation for ghost movement work? I mean, is it like, do you have like a PR?

You can only lift heavy shit one time. Then you're like, fuck, I'm gassed for the day, bro. Bruh. Bruh. Sorry, man. My Fitbit beeped. Done for the day. I got like ghost rhabdo, man. My Fitbit beeped. Done for the day. I got like ghost rhabdo, man.

Like, I'm pissing like ghost Coca-Cola. You know what I mean? Jesus Christ. I blew up my ghost kidneys. Oh, okay. We got off on a tangent here. We got off on a tangent.

Let's talk about people fucking kids. He says, Satanism is getting more aggressive and also diffused. And I read that. I thought like, is getting more aggressive and also diffused. And I read that. I thought like, it's more aggressive. It's sensy. Satanism is basically just shitty multi-level marketing channels.

That's it. There's no difference. There is. You know what? I'm right there with you. That's almost as bad as fucking kids. Do you ever get any multi-level marketing gifts from anybody? Oh, I'm trying to think if I have.

I don't think that I have. Yeah. I'm trying to think if I have. I know that Haley's gotten some. Yeah. You know, my wife's got them too. But that makes sense because it's like, you know, you're buying it from a friend rather than a company,

even though it's the company's product that you're buying through the friend that they're paying a remarkable upcharge for to sell you. I love that shit. It's like, I don't want a storefront. If you'll be my storefront. Yeah. If you'll be my storefront and that you don't get nearly as much money as

the storefront. Here's all, here's how my business works. You're the store and the employee of the store and the consumer in the store. Yeah. In many ways, it's so funny because, yeah, they do that. We should do a deep dive on that.

We should. We should do a deep dive on that. Maybe in a month or so, we'll do a deep dive episode on multi-level marketing. We'll see if we can find good stuff. Good expertise. Good expertise and see if we can do something with it. If anybody has any suggestions for experts that would be good in multi-level marketing,

send us a message. Worse than Satanism? Worse than Satanism? Do you think? Worse than Satanism? Multi-level marketing? Satanism just puts up fucking Ba'al statues. I know, right?

Like, at least pigeons have a place to go. Jeez, you don't go bankrupt because of a Ba'al statue. It's so much worse than Satanism. Like at least pigeons have a place to go. Jeez. You don't go bankrupt because of a bought all statue. It's so much worse than Satan. It's so much worse. Girl, I'm so glad you came backstage. If anybody asks, lie about your ass. You're my princess.

I'm your prince. I'm taking one box of Thin Mints to show I'm the greatest statutory raven So this story is actually related to the larger overall story

about the Kentucky governor. Can you scroll down a little bit so I can get his name? I forgot it. Kentucky, it's Colonel Sanders time. It's Colonel Sanders,

Governor Colonel Sanders from Kentucky. Governor Colonel Sanders would actually be a better governor than former Governor Matt Bevin. Like seriously, if you had a-

He's more trustworthy, right? A cartoon racist cook. At this point, we're looking to cartoon racism as a way to be in America. As an upgrade in Kentucky? As an upgrade in leadership. That's what we're looking for.

It's amazing that Kentucky has only ever like exported two things, right? They've exported the Derby, which is like, our horses run real fast and we'll let you watch that. Yeah, yeah.

And then somehow the world's most mediocre fried chicken franchise. I think you're forgetting about a very sublime alcohol too. Oh, bourbon. Yeah. Nevermind, I love Kentucky. So easily swayed.

Oh yeah. I love this guy. I like this. I don't care. Matt Bevin, as he was leaving, and this is not unusual. So governors on their last days in office, they will often issue their partners, right?

Presidents do the same thing. Fucking Carpe Diem, that shit. Yeah, right? If you ever wonder if this process isn't poisonously political, look at the fact that they wait until they're leaving. Because if they were really trying to serve justice, these are people who are like,

look, people are in... Think about what this says says people are in jail and that's not fair but i don't want to lose i don't care enough that i'm willing to lose my job right i don't want to lose my job over it but i'll wait until i don't have a job like so you're basically looking at somebody saying like look i know you can get raped in prison tomorrow but I don't care enough to lose my job over that. That's a hundred percent true. But when I'm, when I'm about to like quit my job or I got fired, then all of a sudden there are miscarriages of justice.

Oh yeah. That have to. I am compelled. They can't wait another day. I am morally compelled. I will say, you know, to be honest,

our car, our system normally has way more, way more punishment and way more vengeance than it needs. Right. And so many times when they're doing these things, like in our state, when the governor was getting ready to go, one of our governors was getting ready to go to jail. I don't know. I don't know. No, one of them was getting ready to go to jail, Tom, along with several of the senators and like the fucking council people

and like the Cook County board and all these people were getting ready to go to jail. Right. And he did that thing where he was like, no more death sentence in Illinois. Right. And it was again, right near the end of the thing. He did the moratorium on the death sentence.

I'm happy for that. Like, you know, like, and so like, there's probably, I would say some of the, some of the people that he let out, there's a possibility I would be like, oh, cool. But sometimes their reasoning is truly bizarre. Yeah.

Well, and this guy let out like 400 people. Yeah. Like, like 400. Like, and some of these people committed like really egregious, horrifying acts. There was a guy who like killed a woman and like put her head on her lap and then stuffed her into a barrel. And I'm like, his family gave a bunch of money. A bunch of money.

A barrel of money with a head in it. Yeah. And they're just, now all of a sudden it's like, well, you know who might be innocent now? They give him a barrel of money with a head in it. It's like, is there a prize inside? It's like a giant cracker jack. You're digging through the bottom of the barrel. Like, oh, man.

Someone scooped the head out. Well, this one's nothing but heads. Oh, man. It's about the ratio, guys. It's about ratio. Is that even enough crowns? The barrel of crowns? Yeah.

Is that even enough crowns? The barrel of crowns? But one person in this victimized a nine-year-old and they were released. And the reason why he did it was because at quote, he's talking about two young ladies, right? A nine-year-old victim.

He's saying both their hymens were intact. This is perhaps more specific than people would want, but trust me, if you have been repeatedly sexually violated as a small child by an adult, there are going to be repercussions from that physically and medically. And that actually goes against science.

And the very next line in this Slate article is this assertion, as medical experts have pointed out, is false. In one study in the Courier Journal, a survey of pediatric child rape cases found only 2.1% of the victims had visible

damage to their hymen. The whole, right? They are obsessed with the fucking hymen with no understanding of what the hymen is. They have no understanding of that fucking rappermen is. They have no understanding. Is that fucking rapper? T.I. He was like, he takes his daughter to go get her hymen checked.

He has like a dipstick or whatever. He tests the thing. Like, you're so weird, dude. You're so weird. You know, I never got, I never understood this weird obsession with fathers and their virginal daughters. It just doesn't make any sense to me. It's creepy, weird, incestuous. It's nearing incestuous. It's so creepy and weird to be like, you know, I got to make sure she's not... So what the fuck is wrong with you?

I have no idea. Like, look at yourself in the mirror. What the fuck is wrong with... How could you obsess so much about that? Maybe they just don't want to pay for another kid. Maybe they're just like, Jesus Christ, just I can't, I'm almost done paying for you. Can I just be done paying? And you know what's crazy too?

Maybe that's just me. I could be projecting. I think you might be projecting that. I don't know that that feeling is ubiquitous among all parents in the world. Paying so much. But, you know, it's also these people who are hyper worried about the vag

that never tell anybody about sex either. You know, and then like the kid comes home pregnant anyway. Well, that's definitely, I'm kind of glad that people who are obsessed with the hymen aren't giving fucking sex ed classes. I guess that's true too. Guess what you don't know much about? Right.

Fucking anatomy. So maybe like you just barely impregnated somebody by accident. So it's like when you got that pocket in the front, you got to cut the seam. It's like a suit pocket that's sewed closed, right? So the vagina is all sewn tight as a drum. That's why, okay, y'all don't know nothing about nothing. Y'all don't know how this works.

It comes out God, put his seal of approval on it. Now, the first boy comes along. Now, he's got to get a pair of shears out, right? He got to make himself a hole. There ain't no hole before the first man comes along. Now, you be a man, you eat your way through that. You know what? First time would be a lot better

for a lot more ladies if they had heeded that advice. Jesus Christ. You're going to eat your way to the goddamn center, you son of a bitch. Hands behind your back. Hands behind your back.

All right, we're having a pie eating contest. Pie eating contest. Oh, yeah. Fuck this contest. Oh, yeah. Fuck this guy. Yeah, and you know, like, this is another reason why, I mean, it's clear why Kentucky was like, get this guy out of here. Oh, yeah.

Like, and after Kentucky flipped blue this last year, there was a moment of hope when I was like, oh, because it's election year for Moscow Mitch. Yep. And I was like, oh, but after I started reading,

I was like, no, even the Republicans hated this guy. Nobody liked this guy. Yeah. It's amazing that he was elected in the first place. It was one of those things

where it's like, oh. Nobody liked this guy. So Tom, right now, our sponsor, adamandeve.com and adamandeve.com, I just want to mention, if you like to fuck.

If you don't. Really? Yeah. But if you like to fuck and you like to get fucked, AdamandEve.com is a great sponsor for this show because they provide oils and lubes and things to fuck with and things to get fucked with and things to put on stuff and things to put under stuff. Things to put around stuff. I mean, you basically could pack that shit in airtight wherever you want. And the nice thing is with the code glory at checkout, you won't get fucked on the price.

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Instead, you get free. All you have to do is enter Gloria Checkout. You'll get all that stuff. And fucking has never been so fun. This story comes from TheAge.com. This is an Australian thing. Barnaby Joyce suggests God is the solution to climate change

in a Christmas video. Oh, motherfuckers. Alright, do we want to listen to him? We do. Well, you probably wonder what politicians do on... He's got a piece of straw stuck to his head. Okay, alright. So we all, we, I know we just started the video, but guys,

if you get an opportunity to navigate over- What an unpleasant looking guy. This man, he looks like he spent a lot of time at Fukushima. Jesus Christ. He looks like a radiation victim. You know what he looks like?

He looks like a fat Schmeagle. He looks like if Schmeagle was like a human being, but still loved his precious a lot. He's just going to grab one of those kites like, I like them wriggling. Bites into it. Potatoes.

He also has straw on his fucking head. He's feeding his cattle. It seriously looks like bird shit. Yeah, it does. It looks like it's dripping down his face. But he's got straw in his hair and he just looks fucked up. I love the idea too that he's like, alright, let's start the video. Let me make sure my shirt is appropriately unbuttoned

to show my graying chest hair. Oh, nobody wants to see. You don't even want to see that when you look in the mirror. Jesus Christ. I like avert my eyes now. I don't even look at myself. A Christmas Eve. Well, when it's drought,

big cattle. Now, you don't have to convince me that the climate's not changing. It is changing. My problem has always been whether you believe a new tax is going to change it back. Well, a new tax, they're talking about a carbon tax here. And you're talking about carbon tax. Carbon taxes are made to slow carbon. They're made to make you realize what you're doing is harmful

and to slow the amount of carbon that you put into the atmosphere. That's what they're made for. They're punitive tax. Yeah, well, there's, I mean, like, if we buy into the economist view of the world, which is that people operate based on a series of incentives and disincentives, and we want to spur people toward more carbon neutral or carbon negative technologies, then one of the ways that we do that is we use the principles of economics

to create incentives toward green energy and disincentives toward carbon related energies. Like that's, nobody thinks that passing a tax, the tax itself is not what fixes it. The tax is the thing that helps to move human behavior. And it's not the one thing you're doing, right? So like, you're not just like, okay, guys, we passed our carbon tax. Let's just do what we were doing before. It's not the one, it's like,

like there's a lot of things that you have to do in conjunction to try to slow it as much as you can. So if you can slow it as much as possible, you do a multitude of things and hopefully all those things have an effect, and that changes it. Right. Well, and also, like, one of those things that you're – like, one of those things is, like, the money from the carbon tax then gets reinvested into green energy.

Yeah. So it not only changes people's behaviors by providing incentives and disincentives, which affect how we act and don't act. Yeah. But then that money has to be used for something. What it's used for is technology and research and like to ship money into green energy.

Like, nobody thinks that signing a piece of paper is going to be like, well, I wrote my name at the bottom of the paper that says tax and now there's no carbon dioxide.

Nobody's suggesting that. fucking voips into the fucking atmosphere. There's nothing left the moment you sign it. It's like fucking, if only there was a piece of paper I could sign that would fix cancer.

Well, I wrote no cancer on his notebook card and wrote Tom on the bottom of it. I just don't want the government anymore in my life. I'm sick of the government

being in my life. Yeah, and the other thing is... You work for the government. You literally work for the government. He legit works for the government. I could see this argument if you're... But like, if you wake up and you go to work and that for the government. He legit works for the government. I could see this argument if you're,

but like if you wake up and you go to work and that's the government. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Maybe you got a lot more government in your life than I do. You got about 40 hours a week of the government in your fucking life.

Yeah, he's a congressman. He's got about six, six hours a week. I think we've got to acknowledge is, you know, there's a higher authority that's beyond our comprehension. It's the prime minister, right? Is that what you're saying? And right up there in the sky,

unless we understand- The clouds? Are we talking about the clouds? Oh my God. Like we are really looking up and saying that God lives in the sky. Oh yeah. God lives just beyond that cloud.

If you go take a right at the cloud, can't see him in a plane though. Or, you know, Felix Baumgartner didn't see him when he was way above the clouds. And we also didn't see him when we were like looking back at the earth

from, you know, from the moon, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn. When we were looking back at the moon, just as we left the solar system, we didn't see it. We're looking back at the earth. We left the solar system. We didn't see him any of those times, but don't worry. I'm going to point my camera upstairs. We've talked about this before. Like, I'm curious when you were a kid, did you think that God, like that, that physically there was another place that a physical place that

God lived. No, I didn't. Did you think it was a metaphysical place? I thought it was like a ghost or something. It was incorporeal, outside of our realm. Yeah. I never figured he was like a dude.

Yeah. We had somebody on the show once. I'm trying to remember when it was. We had this conversation. They had a view. And I think there's a widely held view that, like, heaven is a physically real place. Sure, yeah. Like, it's Mount Olympus.

Right. Like, if you had the right directions, you could get there. Yeah. Like, if you, like, if you mapped it on fucking Google Maps, you could be like, take a right at making good decisions or something. And like you can drive. Bypass the highway to hell. Do not get on there. Avoid highways. Also known as 55

Dan Ryan. I'll just name all the roads in Chicago. All of them. The Eisenhower. God, so he just points the fucking camera at the sky. It's a place. It's a place. It's a place. It's a real place. You can fucking put it in fucking MapQuest.

That's where he lives, up. No matter where on earth you're at, he lives up. Understand that that's got to be respected. Then we're just fools. We're going to get nailed. Like Jesus. He got nailed. You know what they say.

If at first you don't succeed, quit and blame it on God. I mean, they are having a really rough go of it in Australia right now. And you know, like this guy's like, this guy is on the front lines of making some decisions that can really, you know, hopefully,

I mean, it's not just Australia, right? The world's got to change for Australia to keep going. You know what I mean? Like they're at this point, they are in a real, real bad place. Australia's on fire. It is crazy hot there right now. Yeah.

And in order for them to stay living on that island, things have to change all over the world. And you got to be part of that. And you got to be part of that. You just got to be part of that. I can't imagine being in one of the places in the world that is the forefront of experiencing these terrible effects and still being like, all right, now I can't deny that there's climate change,

but I can deny trying to fix it. We have it the worst in the Midwest because our climate is really cold sometimes. And like today it's unseasonably warm out right now. It's like 60 degrees. I had short sleeves on today, but it's also been recently cold and it will get like,

like recently it was below zero less than a month ago. And so we'll catch polar vortexes. So it'll be like unseasonably cold. And that could be the worst thing for us because people around here are just like, yep, cold snap, can't be any global warming. You know, and like, I saw a meme this week

with Greta Thunberg in it. And it was her talking, it was a meme about her like screaming about the environment. And someone was like, record lows in these places. And I'm just like, yeah, record lows don't mean anything. Like when you're talking about, you know, record highs for years on end, a singular record low doesn't do that. Like that's not, that's not climate.

And it's also like, look, just they're saying like extreme temperature fluctuations and changes are part of the changes in the global climate. And people are like, cold someplace means never hot ever. Yeah, that's right. You shouldn't be allowed to have thoughts. You're not good at them. I can't have any thoughts anymore.

You can't be a decision maker. Hey, everybody. This next clip comes from our live stream from Thursday, December 26th. If you haven't checked out our live streams yet, in 2020, every Thursday, before and or after the guys record the episode, we're going to be doing live streams on Twitch and Facebook and Periscope and Mixer and YouTube.

And that's it. Pornhub, maybe? No. So check us out there. Not the last one, but all the other places on Thursdays. We'll keep you posted on social media. Okay, thanks. They'll promise free taxpayer funded healthcare for illegal immigrants and while they're at it

and you and you it's even forget you it's not like it's like fuck you and then the immigrants get all you know what they're gonna have to pay they come over the immigrants come over here's my wallet my credit card

you can just have that just like, here's my wallet, my credit card, you can just have that, just take it. Here's just my phone, too. They're going to let illegal immigrants come over, fuck your wife. Come out there, banging on the door, but I'm hurt. And there's an illegal immigrant, and they're like, fuck you. Tell me, illegal immigrants, it's my third Botox this week i don't even give a shit the girl's got like 60 titties on her and she's like implanting titties everywhere just like titties all up and down the arms come get me uh get the fuck out of here i don't even need this leg reset

i broke it just for funsies they He got like different appendages added in. I got three appendix now. I don't even care. I put a stomach outside of my body. I don't even give a shit. I got a colostomy bag just like I'm throwing at liberals. They'll embrace the extreme environmentalist agenda of the Green New Deal and the war on energy that goes with it

that means an attack the war on energy i was gonna fight that but i got too tired i had to like a power bar but they took all my power bars no it's just a bar yes there's no power in it it's like I pulled it out and it just went... I'd give it a Viagra, but all the illegal immigrants have my goddamn boner pills. I don't want this limpy bar. Stupid limp bar. This used to be a real country for real men. This used to be inedible granola. And now it's oatmeal.

Now it's just grown-up Chinese newspapers and apple cores. So make sure to join us on those Thursdays in 2020. The guys have also been doing food tasting challenges and other things that we're thinking of. And if you have any ideas, let us know, because we'd love to hear from you all. TikTok videos, maybe? No. Private Snapchat?

Just give us ideas in Discord or in email. Or the Facebook group that's super secret. One that you should join, please. Okay, thanks. Now back to the show. China has total respect for Donald Trump's very, very large brain. They call her Pocahontas. I am the chosen one. You are fake news. Okay. I am the least racist person. Look at my African American over here. Look at him. It's a camera. Grab him by the pussy. Stop it. So this week in Trump, Christianity Today slams Trump, raises issue of unconditional loyalty.

They printed a piece recently that said that you shouldn't have unconditional loyalty to Trump. And then there was a backlash. Evangelical leaders closed ranks with Trump after scathing editorial. Jerry Falwell Jr. attacked Christianity Today.

Trump attacks windmills in speech. I never understood wind. And he's trying to make a joke, but he's an absolute buffoon. And then there's, this was from a little earlier in the month. We missed it. Here are the Russia probe conspiracy theories

debunked by the DOJ inspector general report. And then finally, uh, representative Barry louder, louder milk, louder milk claims Trump has been treated worse than Jesus. So let's start with the Christianity today thing, Tom. Um, it's basically just them saying like they, they, they put out an editorial, they have about 4.3 million monthly website viewers, 130,000 print circulation magazine, Christianity Today said Trump's profoundly immoral conduct in office was troublesome. It says, with profound love and respect, we ask our brothers and sisters in Christ to consider whether they have given Caesar, given to Caesar what belongs only to God, their unconditional loyalty.

And they're saying, basically, look, that another quote is rampant immorality, greed and corruption, his divisiveness and race baiting, his cruelty and hostility to immigrants and refugees. So they're calling out Trump and saying, look, we, this is not us guys. Yeah. And you know what I thought was really interesting is that even amongst all of that, they acknowledge what I think is the central like crux that the evangelicals are facing, right? Which is they're saying like, look, we like a lot of his policies, but you can't allow your liking some of these policies and the appointment of these

judges and his pro-abortion, anti-abortion stance. Sorry. Pro-abortion, not a pro-abortion judge among them. But like, you can't, they're basically saying like, we have a choice here. Like, do we want what they think of as the right things given to us the wrong way? Right. We lose our moral high ground. And they're, they're actually coming out and saying it. And like, if you are a person who is concerned with larger moral truths, and if larger moral truths are the reason that you're anti-abortion, right? Like if the way that you arrive at your conclusions about how you see the world and what is through these larger moral truths, you cannot arrive at the right thing the wrong way. And they're just coming out and saying it.

Yeah. And they got fucking attacked, man. It's a small portion of people. And there's an article from the New York Times that basically says, yeah, that's a small group. The rest of the evangelicals are still 100% behind them.

Well, and it's so funny because they're like, yeah, you know what? We will take the pragmatic practical wins despite the fact that like they come at a moral cost yeah and we how many times have we seen that where they're like oh you might not like him he might not be your guy but like he's getting it done for us and it's like well they can let that go but like the the part of that that's like so, like I arrive at my conclusions about the world I want to see

in part because I have a set of moral principles that guide me into like what I think is right and wrong. I can't imagine if somebody said, Tom, we can give you all of your wishlist, but we are going to arrive at your wishlist through this series of deeply immoral actions. Are you okay with that? God, I don't know how I could get my moral wishlist by selling out my morals. I'm not sure how I could sync with that. Yeah. And there's a bunch of these people have gone out of their way to say,

we disagree with this Christianity Today article. So Jerry Falwell Jr. comes out and says this weird thing on Fox and Friends. He says, it's not that weird actually. I think if Jesus lived today on earth, that they would call him a smelly Walmart shopper. And just like the Pharisees did 2000 years ago. Were the Pharisees calling a lot of people

smelly Walmart shoppers? I don't think so. You know what, man? If they did, that would be a prophecy. I'd be like, okay, you got me on that one. No, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, all right. I'm with you on that. Wow. Yeah. Didn't see that coming. Especially because it's in the Bible and

it says Walmart right there with one L. Man. Crazy. I was just here. We were trying to decide what money was 2000 years ago. So I wanted to talk just about two of these points in the DOJ article. This is from Politico. And this is the DOJ basically released a report about all the Russia probe conspiracies. They investigated all of these. And the couple that I want to talk about, the Steele dossier did not play a role in opening the Russia probe. And Obama never wiretapped Trump Tower. Both of those things came out as 100% false, like that shit's not true.

Those two things didn't. And those have been Republican talking points since Trump got elected. This won't matter. Yeah. Because like that damage is already done. You know what I mean? Like the minds of these people who are pro-Trump, it's already fucking made up.

And the fact that this wasn't true, even for the people that will now accept this as not true, they'll just move on to other things. It won't bother them at all that the president made this shit up and lied to them and told them this to motivate them and manipulated them. None of that's going to matter.

It's fucking amazing how this won't matter. This won't matter so hard. Yeah, exactly. But it's one of those pieces of evidence that you can point to and say, no, that's not true. But like you say, the damage is already done. It's already, there's no way to tell the jury, forget that. I think that might be like Trump's primary legacy is in his manipulation of the media, his ability to understand that it doesn't matter if it's true, if it's first and if it's loud. So if it's first and if it's loud, enough people will hear it and pass it along and play telephone with it. And if you say it enough and you say it loud, but you say it first, it doesn't matter if

you're later proven to be wrong because you just say a different thing and you say it loud, but you say it first, it doesn't matter if you're later proven to be wrong. Because you just say a different thing. And you just say a different thing. And that manipulation of the people through the media, he's fucking genius at. We get asked a question a lot that whether or not Trump has changed the game. Whether or not politics will ever be the same. And I wonder, especially when you bring that up, I wonder if it ever ever be the same. Yeah. And I wonder, especially when you bring that up, I wonder if it ever will be the same.

I wonder, I certainly wonder what's going to happen. You know, even if Trump wins, I don't think he's got four years in him. To be honest, four years left on this earth. Like I don't think his body can take that kind of stress for another four. I think I would be, I think we'd be hard pressed to see an eight, him, eight, eight, eight years term.

But, but I wonder what the next Republican thing is going to look like. You know, like I wonder what it's going to be. It's probably going to be Thunderdome because at that point it's going to be, you know, we're Mad Max times. But I'm curious what the next Republican looks like. If he looks more like Trump

or if he looks more like traditional politicians. I don't know. You know, I'm worried about the lessons we're going to learn from this. I really am. or if he looks more like traditional politicians? I don't know. I'm worried about the lessons we're going to learn from this. I really am. Because political strategists are looking at not what's good for the country, but what wins for their candidate. And they'll sell the idea that the end justifies the means.

And the problem is that this is the end. This is the means. They're all the same now, there's no difference it's not like we did a bunch of crazy shit to win and now that we're here you know, instead this is the new way to

win, the new way to get what you want the new way to spin the narrative, the new way to define what truth is and that really worries me Loudermilk claimed Trump had been treated worse than Jesus. And in his letter to Nancy Pelosi, didn't he compare himself to like he's been treated worse than anybody

ever? Yeah, worse than any president in all the history of all of us. Worse than Lincoln. Shot and killed. Tom, do you want to read what he said on the floor? We're not reading his tweets. We're to read what he said on the floor? We're not reading his tweets. We're just reading what he said on the floor.

Here's what he said. He said, before you take this historic vote today, one week before Christmas, I want you to keep this in mind. When Jesus was falsely accused of treason, Pontius Pilate gave Jesus the opportunity to face his accusers. Loudermilk said during brief remarks on the House floor,

during that sham trial, Pontius Pilate afforded more rights to Jesus than the Democrats have afforded this president in this process. Hold on a second. Hold on.

That's me slapping my head in disbelief because there was senators or the congressmen during that entire thing were saying, I'd love to have the president here right now.

Yeah. Multiple times. Multiple times they asked. They said they would love to have him president here right now. Yeah. Multiple times. Multiple times they asked. They said they would love to have him. Hang out? No? You're not coming? Yeah.

All right. It's also like, it's also a misunderstanding, just a procedural misunderstanding. Like the trial hasn't happened yet. Yeah. So to say that he hasn't had his day in court

is like, yeah, well you haven't, the court date hasn't been set yet. Yeah. It's like, you got arrested, a grand jury was't, like the court date hasn't been set yet. It's like you got arrested, a grand jury was convened,

the grand jury gets together to decide if there's enough evidence to present to trial in order for there to be a trial. That's the stage rat yet. Throughout that whole process, you don't get an opportunity to face your accuser. And they even said they would though, right? Like even still, even still, even still out of character,

they were like, yeah, no, bring him in. Right, bring him in. And again, like the stakes here are not the same as if I get arrested. I know, I know.

Like the stakes are I lose my liberty. The stake here is he loses his job. That's all that's at stake here. Yeah. He's not like going to be found guilty

of a crime. I think people understand that. Like if he's found guilty through the Senate, he's not guilty of anything. He's not criminally guilty of anything at all. If he's found guilty of high crimes and misdemeanors, it doesn't fucking matter. It's not like he got found guilty of a felony. He doesn't go to jail. Yeah. He doesn't have to pay a big fine to anybody he doesn't have a blemish on his criminal record none of that none of that happens all that happens is he gets fired he has to go home yeah to be rich somewhere yeah like oh tom you know what you don't have to go to work

anymore but you can still be rich well okay okay that's literally all i want out of my life be honest that's all trump wanted too. Right. Trump didn't want to win. He wanted to push his brand. Like people can't feel fucking sorry for this guy though. So this is from Mediaite. Trump attacks windmills in speech to conservative group. I never understood the wind.

I don't know that I want to play it because we're going to stop it too much. But he basically says, I never understood the wind. I know windmills very much. I have studied it better than anybody. I know it's expensive. They are made in China and Germany mostly. Very few made here, almost none.

But they're manufactured. Tremendous. If you're into this. Tremendous fumes and gases are spewing into the atmosphere. You know we have a world, right? Now the whole time, no, no, you know, it, it, it transcribes very badly, but it's him joking around with an audience. Right. And this always transcribes terribly. Um, but it's him basically saying like, yeah. And then later he's talking about birds, how many birds get killed. He's like, oh, there's so many birds. He's like, you know, you can't kill a bald eagle,

but they die like crazy from these things. PolitiFact has found that he has, he's completely inflating all the figures about birds. Yeah, birds die in those things. That's true. That's just a true statement. Birds die because we put in windows in our houses. Yeah, right.

That's the thing is like, you know, birds die. I walk down the streets of Chicago, I see dead birds all the time because they fucking ran into a goddamn window. Birds die because we have cats. Yeah. Like cats kill more birds than wind turbines. Yeah.

Like the Bush, the Trump administration rather, recently stripped an EPA law that would have required that animal sanctuaries or places that are breeding grounds for migratory birds, that animal sanctuaries are places that are breeding grounds for migratory birds, that if you're going to build something on one of these migratory breeding or hatching grounds, that they have to basically relocate that somewhere else. So they stripped that away and made it voluntary, which means nobody does it, which means that birds, by that one decree making that voluntary, birds are killed by the tens of millions. We have a president who's literally tilting at windmills. We are like, that's a phrase for a reason.

And it's not a good one. You don't want to be known for tilting at windmills. What is going on right now? Oh God. Don Quixote for president. I will say this. I will say this. First off, he's no Don Quixote.

Okay, let's just get that out of the way. But I will say that, you know, like, yeah, are the environmental effects that are not, you know, the atmosphere an important part of what happens with these things that we create? Yeah, absolutely. Should that stuff be looked into?

Yeah, absolutely. But should we be like, yeah, you know, a couple thousand bald eagles die a year or whatever, and that's going to stack, then we should just scrap it all. Who cares? Because here's the thing. All the bald eagles die if we don't do anything.

Right. Right? So every bald eagle is now a fucking crispy fucking KFC special if we don't do anything. Right. But if we do do something and it kills some bald eagles, I think we're all going to be okay with that

if it saves all the rest of the bald eagles. Well, we all know that like, we've never had to play scrub a duck from oil. Right, exactly, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, oil is the alternative. How many times have we been like, oh, anyway,

break out a lot of dawn. Yeah, and then like, look Yeah. How many times have we been like, oh, anyway, break out a lot of dawn. Yeah. And then like, look out in the ocean, there's like, well, killed all that. What was it?

Remember when the fucking deep water horizon thing was like, just like shitting water, just shitting water into the fucking Gulf. It just like, it was like a fucking guy

who got some fucking bad pad thai and you just can't stop shitting he's just shitting and shitting and shitting and it's coming out liquid you're just like i didn't eat anything for 30 hours how can i still be shitting and it's just going and going that's deep water horizon deep Water Horizon food poisoning edition. Do you remember years and years and years ago when that guy was talking

about the Exxon Belt and he's just like, the ocean has a way of eating that shit. Like a blueberry. That was fucking Rush Limbaugh. It eats it up.

It drinks your milkshake. These people are in charge. Oh, God. So which character are you in the road? Here's the thing. Here's the thing, folks. We're all going to die soon. So pledge to the show while you still can.

Yeah. Pledge to the show. You should do that. Yeah. If you think about the breakdown of Osama bin laden he's very similar to donald trump he's he's the spoiled brat's billionaire son of a developer who's fucking mad at everybody you know what i mean this story comes from Right Wing Watch. This is John Guandolo.

Isn't that Bat Poop Guandolo? Isn't that? He is Bat Poop. Bat Poop. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Man, it's just like, like it's the 1960s version of that show. Oh, yeah.

It's just like, instead of like, bam, pow, whip. It's just like fart noises. Oh, yeah. It's just like, instead of like, bam, pow, whip. It's just like fart noises. Boom, boom. The U.S. should bomb Mecca in retaliation for Pensacola shooting. So Pensacola shooting

happened early in December. There was a shooting where there was an attack. Was it an Air Force base or something like that in the United States? Yeah, it was the Air Force base in Pensacola, Florida. And, you know, I do want to talk a little bit about that because it's fucking crazy. We don't know what the motivations, I don't think, get the motivation. They don't come out yet.

I looked today. I see if I can find it. I couldn't find any. But I will say this, and I know that this is jumping a little bit, but, you know, we're at a place where we are such good friends with Saudi Arabia that when this happened, the motivations of the killings was not yet known. Trump tweeted out something like, you know, we stand with our Saudi brother. He, like, tweeted out this thing. Solidarity with the Saudis, basically, was what it was.

basically was what it was. But I fucking absolutely guarantee that if somebody of descent from a Muslim country other than Saudi Arabia shot and killed a bunch of people at, let's say, a Walmart or any other location, he would tweet out some shit

about terrorism, some shit about, like, you know, protecting our borders. You know what I mean? It's like everything is so politicized and when it's the Saudis that I don't know get 19 guys on airplanes

and fly those things into the trade towers we invade two different countries instead when it's a preferred class of person if that's a white person they were a lone wolf

they were a troubled person when it's a Saudi we stand with the Saudis yeah yeah yeah haven't figured out what happened to Khashoggi just yet the black guy he's a Saudi, we stand with the Saudis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Haven't figured out what happened to Khashoggi just yet. The black guy, he's a thug. Right. Holy shit, man. Let's talk about that for a second. I'm sure you saw the news where there was a

shooting, like 13 or 19 people in the teens of people shot at an anti-gun party. There was a party in Chicago, and somebody came in and shot a dozen plus people. It was either 13 or 19. I don't remember how many people.

Because it was a blurb buried in nowhere in the fucking news. I read the news a couple times a day. This little blurb of a story. But it was like more than a dozen people shot in Chicago on the west side. And they were at like an anti-violence party and somebody went in the bed in a backyard and somebody went in

and shot up a fucking bunch of people there. And it's like, dude, it's a fucking blurb. It's not even national news. It's three lines. It's three lines. There's no,

it's, there's so nothing to the story that you can't even read about it. And there's no follow up. There's no, wow. That was like last week. It's insanity. It's insanity. I didn That was like last week. It's insanity.

It's insanity. I didn't even hear about it. That's fucking crazy. I didn't even hear about it. I live in Chicago. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like an ironic story.

Yeah. Like even, even to cover it for its irony alone. Even just its irony would be enough. Yeah. But it's like if the wrong people get killed, it doesn't fucking count. Yeah.

And if it's, and if it's, and when it's the wrong people who do it, they're the terrorists. They're the, yeah. Yeah. But you never say anything about a white nationalist terrorist. That's never come out of anybody's mouth. Mentally ill. Those guys are mentally ill. Those guys are mentally ill. All right. So this is, um, this is John Guano. Uh, he's talking about, uh, some stuff here. Even an attack on a U.S. military base isn't enough to smack. Jesus Christ.

Buy a pop filter. What the fuck? What is he fucking deep throating a love? The fuck is he doing? He's like banging his forehead against the thing. We didn't know our fucking ass. We couldn't grab our ass with two hands when we first started podcasting. We didn't know.

Fuck all. But we knew you had to have a pop filter. We knew for sure you better damn well have a pop filter on your thing because if you don't, you're going to be, I can't even do it on my mic. I can't even make that. I'm going to pull, hold on. I'm going to pull the condom off

just so I can make the sound. Seriously like a fucking foamy pop filter is like $4. Yeah. It's the cheapest fucking thing you can buy. I talk into this thing all the time. There's never a problem. Problem.

We have our leaders on the side of the head like a two by four to wake them the heck up. Folks, this is why those of you spending more than 5% or 10% of your time worried about the impeachment hearings, worried about your congressman. What a weird way to spend your time, 5% of your time. And also, how do you calculate? Do you have an Excel spreadsheet where you decide how much time you spend on something? You don't log all of your thoughts in a... I log all... A thought log. how do you calculate? Do you have an Excel spreadsheet where you decide how much time you spend on something?

You don't log all of your thoughts in a... I log... A thought log? I have a... Yeah. Well, that way, that way I know, like,

I was thinking about working out with Tobin and Squeak. So... Yeah, I was a douchebag when I was a kid, too. I used to write my thoughts down when I thought people cared about them. You are wasting your time.

Wasting your time. We win this war at the local level. The federal government is completely and utterly incapable of fixing this. They're incompetent. Fixing what? What is this? He's talking about the fucking, this guy. He wants, he doesn't, he doesn't, he's pissed off at the Saudis and he should be mad at his president.

Who's who can't fucking, he can't like get his nose out of the Saudi ass. Hold on a second for real, right? He's suggesting that the problem to solve the problem that we're going to solve on the local level is an, that happened at a naval air base? Yeah. Who are you going to elect at the local level that influences what happens on a federal air base? What in the world are you even talking about? Look, I know all politics are local, except the ones that are federal. Those are federal.

It kind of is right in the name there, isn't it? What the fuck are you talking about? We got to elect a guy. To what? To go to the fucking federal air base? And be like, well, I'm the dog catcher and I think there's some Saudis here. What the fuck are you talking about?

Woo! Woo! He just got a dog on the top that he pulls their tail like the Flintstones. Unbelievable. I'm a city cop troller. I'm damn angry. Get the fuck out of here. Maybe a sandwich motherfucker. You know, I got it. I do want to talk about federal and state for a second because I read an article this week about the college tuition that is being bandied about by the Democrats right now, paying for college tuition. And the article was in, I think it was the Post or the Times, and it was a pretty centrist piece. And it's talking about how if you get college in Wyoming, super fucking cheap.

Okay. State colleges are fucking cheap as fuck. You get college in Vermont, super fucking expensive. Wait, are colleges in Wyoming accredited in the United States? Do those credits transfer to the US? There's like a steer teaching something. I don't even know what. Hello.

Welcome to Cal College. I thought I even know what. Hello. Welcome to Cal College. I thought I was going to Cloud College. God damn it. Everybody's got to wear those stupid hordes. Unless you're a girl. Oh, Jesus. But in any case, the problem is that

colleges in some parts of the country are super fucking cheap. And colleges in other parts of the country is that colleges in some parts of the country are super fucking cheap and colleges in other parts of the country, state colleges in other parts of the country are super fucking expensive. And their plans, according to this article, would just subsidize what they don't pay. So if

you don't pay, like if you're paying like the state is only, you know, like those colleges in Wyoming, they don't pay a lot of you're paying like the state is only, you know, like those colleges in Wyoming, they don't pay a lot of money, so they won't get a lot. Those states won't get a lot of money. Right, so they have to raise their price. So they're worried that everybody's

going to raise their price to a standard rate. And I was thinking to myself, that's the problem with states. Like, isn't that just the problem with states in general? What you need to do is just then be like, okay, well then it's not run by the state anymore right you know you're just like okay well then that that money doesn't come from there like we we need to figure out a way to make sure that it's possible right but like like the the the state thing causes lots of problems yeah i i agree with you i wonder how much like this like constant fucking hand job to states' rights is useful in a global economy. Like as the world gets bigger, the idea of shielding ourselves by these artificial state borders rather than like coming together as a country, which is like got to compete against other countries in ways we've never had to. Yeah, right. Because like globalization means like,

yeah, America is just like a state. It's like one great big state. It's one big state. Amongst a nation. Sure. And I think it made some sense before, but I think like maybe the usefulness of governance through states' rights has really kind of had its time.

And, you know, those taxes still get collected to get paid to those schools or whatever. Right. But they just, now it's just federal money. And you're like But they just, now it's just federal money. And you're like, okay, well, now it's just federal money. And now that money just goes into a big kitty

and we pay all the schools. And that's how it works. You know, because the other thing that would happen is the federal government would say, okay, there's a certain allotment. Yeah. Of federal dollars, which is to be used as a subsidy

against a certain education at university. And then people getting, let's say, $10,000 a year are going to say, well, it doesn't go very far in Vermont. I'm going to move to Wyoming. Yeah. And then that would push the student population into those cheaper areas. Yeah.

Which might be a different kind of boon for those. Sure. Might change things. Yeah. Yeah. Right. We have an impeachment where there are no charges leveled to the point where they've actually made the accusation and put facts behind it, which our founders in the Federalist Papers discussed.

So the president should simply send the solicitor general to the Supreme Court and say, hey, how about we shut this thing down because there are no facts and evidence? Well, they're going to do that in the Senate anyway. They're not even going to listen to any of the evidence. We don't have to go through that exercise. We're not doing that because we think this is, we don't understand the federal government does not understand that the Democrat leadership in line with Marxists and jihadis are all about a coup and taking down this country and an attack, an organized attack, where people are filming a Saudi Air Force officer killing Americans on a naval air station. And we're like, hey, the Saudi president, the Saudi king said he's really sorry, deeply disturbed. Look, I agree with him right there.

I think our reaction to that event was really fucking lackluster. Yeah. Like, I think our reaction to that event was out of proportion to our typical reaction to those events. I think that's, like we talked about, I think we give the Saudi government just, they get a fucking free pass all the time. It's like, nah, fucking put it in your butt. You're like, oh, well, I wasn't expecting that, but hey, hey. Don't worry,

you brought a lot of oil, so we're good. And if you'd like to get a lot of oil, you can head over to adamandeve.com, enter Gloria Checkout, get 50% almost any oil or item. Item. Get free shipping,

a host of other free stuff. Whether you're Saudi or not, I think it still works. I think it can go anywhere I think it can go anywhere. And it can go anywhere. With enough oil, there's no stopping you. Gloria, check out adamneve.com.

How about a cruise missile right down Mecca, right on the Kaaba? Maybe that would send them a message that we're done playing in this. That would rock the Kaaba. Rock the Kaaba. Rock the Kaaba.

Rock the Kaaba. Terrible. Sheree, don't like it. You know what it would be? Saudis, don't like it. It would be a really plosive event. So I want to thank our patrons.

Christmas is the season of giving. So I want to name the two patrons that joined up this week. Thank you, two patrons. Jim and Corey. Tell you what, Jim and Corey, I'm going to send you both a mug. Both mugs. You guys both get a mug this week.

You get a citation mug. Remember, we're giving away mugs to some of our new patrons. Yes. But since there's only two of you're giving away mugs to some of our new patrons. Yes. But since there's only two of you, I'll give them to both of you guys. So, Jim, Corey, send a message to

ianatdissonancepod.com and you will get a citation-needed mug. All you have to do is promise to listen to one episode of Citation Needed. And we can't check on that. Yeah, we literally can't check.

We just have to trust you. Trust you on that. We got a message from Rich about nuclear power. And this is about how there's very different new nuclear reactors now that

are very much different from the old stuff. They produce far less waste and the waste is nowhere near as dangerous and they can reuse existing waste. And it can't be used to make bombs. And the effect, they are in effect impossible, basically

impossible to melt down. So they're doing so much better with nuclear fuel nowadays. Both Tom and I are blown away by everybody who's just like throwing nuclear out the window. I don't understand that. Like the rest of the world,

like a huge part of the developed world uses nuclear as one of their options. They produce a huge amount of power. They don't produce carbon. There's new technologies, which are good. According to this, one researcher was quoted about a test reactor, quote,

we gave it several opportunities to melt down. It politely refused. I think that's great. We don't have to live in fear of nuclear power. I think, you know, they do take a long time to create. Now this question, by the way, is coming to us,

I think because we talked about something on a live stream. So if you missed the live stream, this is last week's live stream. We talked about the Democratic debate and in the Democratic debate, they were talking about nuclear as an option. And some of the people were sort of poo-pooing it. And Tom and I were just blown away by why they would do that. Because it's a great source of power that is not creating a lot of carbon, which is what we need right now. We need

a lot of power, not a lot of carbon. And it's really doing, you know, it's doing a lot of carbon. And, uh, and it's really doing, you know, it's doing a lot of great stuff, but it turns out that they are, they do take a long time to make. Some of that time is based on all the permits and all the fighting with all the people nearby that you have to do to actually get the damn thing built. But there is just also just, they're very complicated. So it takes a long time to create them. So you can't, I mean, we can't run 100% into green right away, but we can start with transitioning to nuclear as fast as we can to a lot of places in the United States, and that would take a huge burden.

It would cut down carbon emissions by a lot if we started replacing a lot of the power plants with these nuclear power plants, and then we shift to green eventually. You know, if we look at everything as a magic bullet society where there's one answer that fixes everything, we're never fixing anything. Yeah, right, right.

It's just a tool in the toolbox. So Ron sends a message in and he says, please consider doing a focus on hideous state of voting systems in the United States. And there's a push for 100% unverifiable touchscreen voting systems by greedy companies. I had no idea that there's a push for that. I know that there was some push for paper ballot stuff too. But it's clear that people want to make money off these

machines. And so they're trying to push for these machines and these machines can be overridden and things like that. They're getting

dangerous. They're super insecure and they can't be audited properly. Yeah. It's one of the huge issues with them is that paper, you can

just pull the paper. Yep. And these things don't create the same kind of trail. Yeah. Yeah. So we got a message

from Russell. Russell's from Texas. And Russell was telling us about how he's just happy to listen to some like-minded people because he's in the middle of Texas and that's got to be hellish. And we're really sorry, Russell. God damn. And he's been listening since we were in the double digits. Wow.

That's a long time, Russell. That's awesome. Thank you so much for listening. I really do appreciate it. So we did a live stream tonight. You heard part of that in this show. You heard part of the live stream in this show. You're missing out on a lot of fun

if you're missing these live streams. Thursday night, nine o'clock. That's going to be our regular time. We're trying to do them every week when we can. We're going to be missing a week here and there and we'll let you know when that's going to happen. But we're trying to do them every week and they're a great time.

We'd like to see more people come, hang out with us on those nights. And if you miss them, please go to YouTube and watch them because they are actually a lot of fun and they are visually interesting. They look nice. We do stuff on chat

and we do stuff with the cameras here and with the TV. We watch clips and they're a lot of fun. So go check them out. If you haven't checked out our YouTube page, go check it out. Go subscribe if you can. And watch our streams.

Even if you can't watch it in the moment, come check it out afterwards. They're available in perpetuity on places like Facebook and YouTube. They stay up for a couple weeks on Twitch before they get deleted. But go check them out if you can. If you're waiting for your roast

next week, we will be recording a roast script and we will be recording our roasts for the early part of January. So we're going to have one on this show and one on Scathing. So come check out both of our shows and listen to the roasts that are coming up. If you're waiting for your roast, there's a good chance

it's going to be played in there and we're going to keep going until we're all done. So check it out next week's show. That is going to wrap it up for this week. We are going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram

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psychic healing crystal balls bigfootfoot, yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double speak, stigmata, nonsense. doublespeak stigmata nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands, bloody, evidential, conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, or butthurt arising from consumption all information is provided on an as-is basis no refunds produced in association with the local Dairy Council and viewers like you you