Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 516: I Know a Pandemic When I See One

Episode Date: March 23, 2020

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Starting point is 00:00:23 Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live kind of half from half the epicenter of the apocalypse gloryhole studios this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad there's a lot that's gonna happen that's gonna make us skeptical it's political and this is the first horseman of the apocalypse which one is that this is pestilence pestilence okay all right so i think i think what if anything what we have now this episode 516 guys uh there may be a 517
Starting point is 00:01:53 um i think what we know now i just shrugged the order of operations for the horses yeah right you get pestilence yeah i think famine is pretty heavy pretty hot on the heels of pestilence absolutely uh war and then war i think death just has to be the last one right that's what i mean like i mean death is sort of like okay otherwise he just like parties with the other three yeah actually i think what he does is it's it's like the footsteps in the sand thing where he's walking with all of them as he's walking. And at the end, it's just him. I saw a pair of skeletal footprints in the sand and new depth had come for me.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Oh, man. Holy shit. Things are getting weird by the week. Hilariously, last week on Thursday, my office was like, yeah, we're probably going to be working from home from this point on. People can come in and sort of collect their shit tomorrow. And it feels like literally a lifetime ago, like a week ago feels like, and I mean, just like a lifetime ago. Yeah. It is, it is amazing because like like our date night right is like on wednesday so
Starting point is 00:03:08 like last wednesday we were like maybe we'll go to the movies and like this wednesday we're just like i can't believe we've ever gone anywhere ever where other people have ever been like i'm like spritzing myself with like Lysol in my eyes. It's so true. I was watching a movie the other day. I just happened to turn on the TV, watching a movie. And as I look over at the movie,
Starting point is 00:03:33 I see them all crowded around one document. And I'm just like, social distancing people. What is wrong with you? Social distancing. I was just like, get away from each other. Don't breathe down her neck.
Starting point is 00:03:46 How dare you, sir? It's been a week. It's been one week and I've already got so much PTSD drilled into me that I see another person, I cross my fingers, hiss and run away.
Starting point is 00:04:02 That's literally my defense mechanism is like and then i run and i hide underneath my car until they leave it's been one week since you coughed on me one week since i got covet 19 oh man well i you know guys if you're tired of coronavirus covet 19 news fucking i can't help you because that's really really it really isn't anything else you can talk about i mean wait for right now all about the election anymore yeah well and i do want you know to be honest i do want to talk a little bit about the election. But again, it comes in, it also is sort of, it's about the election, but it's also about the election and how they talked about this crisis, right?
Starting point is 00:04:52 If we talk about it at all, the primary that they just had, the primary debate and the primary in Illinois, it's going to be based around how this is affecting it because there's nothing else really to talk about there. Yeah. It's like, it's like if a bomb went off in New York city and you're like, well, I know, you know, I just, we haven't revisited this, uh, pineapple on pizza question. This is, are you fucking for real right now? Yes. That was an important issue, but now it's like, nah, you know, we're, we're at a place where I woke up in the morning yesterday and I read the news and it's like, there's a floating, there's a naval ship in New York
Starting point is 00:05:35 Harbor with a thousand bed hospital. Yeah. And I'm like, what fucking alternate reality bullshit universe is this that we are living in? Yeah. Yeah. Right now, every day you're just like, this couldn't get weirder.
Starting point is 00:05:49 It's like stocks are non-existent. Companies are absolutely worthless. Like, you're just like, what? Like all your money is essentially kindling. You're just like, all I spent the whole week learning to tie hobo sacks so I could ride the rails.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Good, good. I spent the whole week with my hand on my sack doing nothing from home. Working from home is weird. I will say that. I want to point out too, working from home and the stuff that they're mostly telling people to do, it feels like there's so much privilege involved in this disease. One, look at all the celebrities
Starting point is 00:06:30 versus all the regular people getting tested. If you're a celebrity, you essentially just get a fast track to a test. You know, one person on the NBA, in the NBA gets it, and all the NBA stars gets it. You're finding out about all these movie stars that are getting it because they're the ones
Starting point is 00:06:46 who have access to tests. Other people don't have any access to tests. And so that's one method of privilege. The other thing is working from home. There's so many people who just don't have the privilege of being able to work from home, period. Many people, so many people already have lost their jobs because their job just is non-existent if there aren't people there. It just doesn't work. So look at that. Look at how much privilege is involved in that. But you know, there's just, and it's a stocking up on food. That's another giant privilege that were that people are able to do. Anybody who's able to do it, it's just, oh yeah, well, I have the privilege to be able to go to the store and get stock up on food. And I have a place to put it. There's so many people out there who just don't have that ability right now. This is literally showing us
Starting point is 00:07:26 how fucked our society is. It's so funny because this has been going on for essentially no time. It's a blink of an eye since this whole thing really started, right? And everything is already, everything's unraveling because the system is so fucking fragile
Starting point is 00:07:43 because it has always been balancing on a goddamn knife's edge it's like it's like looking around and being like man ponzi schemes really do come true you know like the whole thing yeah but it's it's it is and it's not it's that like as a service-driven economy 70 percent of jobs are service-related jobs or service churn-related jobs. So it's like, yeah, if all of a sudden people just don't go buy shit, that's 70% of the transactions in the United States that are either directly or indirectly supported by that or damaged by that. It's a massive, almost impossible amount of change. And to have that much change happen that quickly is like, there's no plan for this.
Starting point is 00:08:28 There's no tools in the toolbox. The tools we do have, like lowering rates, it's not working. It's not working. Now they're going to give money directly to people. And while that's generally or has been a good idea in the past, the problem is like, if you just give money directly to citizens, but they can't go out into the world and spend it, what they're going to do is pay their bills with it. If they pay their bills with it,
Starting point is 00:08:54 that doesn't create the same kind of demand churn. So as a stimulus package, I'm really doubtful about its ability to be impactful as a stimulus, what would be much more beneficial would be to extend unemployment benefits, to lengthen and deepen unemployment benefits. Today, one of the, I think it was Schumer, he criticized the $1,000. And people are, you know, the $1,000 that they're giving out, there was Romney who had said there was a thousand bucks that he was looking to give out and and a couple of these Republicans, and then they sent Munchkin over to the Senate or whatever to talk about it. And the thousand dollars is a one-time payment.
Starting point is 00:09:34 It's a stimulus, right? And people are saying that, wow, look at these Republicans. They're coming in left of these Democrats who the Democrats are saying, what we should really do is extend unemployment benefits because that'll help stimulate the economy because the unemployment benefits come per week, right? So it's, I get that money per week and it's 50, about 50% of my salary
Starting point is 00:09:55 every week. So if I get 50% of my salary every week, that's a hell of a lot better than a one-time payment of a thousand dollars. It's just natural. Unless you're making an absolute pittance, right? I get it. And if you're not making any money, yeah, they should be sending out checks and money to people who don't have money, period. That should happen anyway. That should be happening through public assistance anyway. But when you're talking about unemployment, if people lost their jobs, they should be extending those benefits. I don't mind that the $1,000 goes out, but also extend those benefits. Do what Bernie says, which is basically until this is over, give everybody a 2K UBI. Do something like that that changes the game. That's a big deal. But
Starting point is 00:10:34 everybody keeps on saying, oh, they're coming in left of these Democratic senators. And I'm just shaking my head like, do you not understand that recurring payments are always going to outpace a single payment payment period? It doesn't even make any sense. And it's not that I don't think that they're doing enough. I don't think that they're doing enough and I want to see them do more.
Starting point is 00:10:52 But I also realize that it's a false argument. We gave everybody a stimulus. George W. Bush gave everybody $300. Yep. What'd you do with that? What'd you do with it? I bought a bicycle.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Did you really? I paid off the credit card debt. I had credit card debt and I paid it down. I went out and bought myself something because I was like, well, the purpose of it is to buy something, like to create churn, you know, like, and I wanted a bicycle. So I bought a bicycle. I was like, yeah, I'll get myself something nice. Sure.
Starting point is 00:11:22 So I bought myself a bicycle. Nice. I still have that bicycle. But he didn't, he didn't, that didn't do anything. I mean, really for the economy.
Starting point is 00:11:29 It didn't change shit in the economy. It was pointless. And like the, the economic problems that we faced when George W. Bush gave everybody $300 were vastly smaller than the great depression. That's coming down the pipe. Sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:42 This is three times as much stimulus, but like the, the, the problem is far greater than three times as deep. Sure. So I have no idea how we get out of this. It's marked for inflation, but not the situation, you know? Right. So it basically feels like, yeah, $300 feels about like a thousand dollars back then, something like that, maybe a little more, but still maybe twice as much, but still it's like, it's still an immense amount. It's still immense immense amount. It's still immense amount of, of problems that we're in when it comes to it. You know, the other thing too, that people are saying when they're talking about, um, I saw online and this is something
Starting point is 00:12:12 that I've been seeing a lot of people are posting the same thing. And it's a dumb, it's a dumb meme or whatever that the right has come up with, which is a bet. She won't cash that thousand dollar check. Cause he's not your president is what I'm seeing a lot of, that basic idea of not your president. One, it's not his fucking money. It's my money. It's your money. It's always been your money.
Starting point is 00:12:36 It's never once been his money. That's number one. Two, he doesn't even control the purse strings. So it's not even him who offers the check to us. It's a whole different body of government him who offers the check to us. It's a whole different body of government that writes the fucking check to us. So that's also another thing. So the idea that it's the idea that you're going to, you're going to gloat and say, oh, well now he's your president because he's going to give you money. No, it's always been my money. And that's
Starting point is 00:12:59 what you need to understand. Not me. You need to understand that it's always been your money too. It's always been all of our money. And we've always that it's always been your money too. It's always been all of our money. And we've always said there's better ways to spend it than how he's doing it. And right now he's spending in a way that I approve of instead of before when he's just like, yeah, I think I'm just going to give tax cuts to billionaires. Right. Well, and like, don't get me wrong. Tax cuts are a part of the stimulus package. Yeah. The trillion dollar stimulus package includes to corporate tax cuts and you know
Starting point is 00:13:25 maybe it should this time i don't know i don't have an answer for like i'm not gonna even pretend to armchair quarterback how to fix this fucking problem i have literally no idea like how in the world you fix a problem as massive as this what i do know is that like we literally have the worst possible leadership through one of the most important periods in American history. Yeah. And that is literally terrifying. That is.
Starting point is 00:13:50 And it's a hundred percent true. There is, there's, there's another group of people either saying you can't blame this virus on Trump. And it's like, you're right. I can't,
Starting point is 00:13:58 but I can blame the sluggish response. I can absolutely blame that on him because that one, you know, I'm going to play a super cut of this Republican. It was a GOP commercial. It came out. It was a GOP group that did it. And the GOP group put together a super cut of him denying the coronavirus for the last X amount of time and then talking about how great a job he's doing while the body count racks up i mean it's terrifying yeah it's terrifying the complete lack of leadership and like he just
Starting point is 00:14:31 kicks the cans to the governors and like what i will say is there are some governors there are some governors that are stepping up like cuomo is stepping up and they're just like right you guys need leadership i am your leader that's what you've elected me to do. Boom, decisions, boom, decisions, boom, decisions. And like, I'm looking at this and I'm like, God damn, we have some real fucking leadership in this country and it's not in Congress and it's not at the federal level. I will say I was upset at Pritzker's choice to run the primary election this last week. I thought it was a bad call. I was really surprised.
Starting point is 00:15:07 I was surprised. And I was surprised because other places seemed to want to push it off. And it doesn't make a lot of sense. What he should have done is set it up so that there was a bunch of different places that you could go vote. Instead, my voting place was shoved with four other voting places because they didn't have enough election judges, right? Right.
Starting point is 00:15:28 So I waited an hour and a half to vote that morning. And I was waiting outside because I'm not going to stand inside with a bunch of other people waiting to go. I waited until the line started moving because the line wasn't moving. And then when I went in and voted, but it was over an hour and a half.
Starting point is 00:15:46 And I got there early and the polls weren't even open when I got there. And I was there at 730 and they weren't even open yet. So that tells you how long it took. By the time I got out of work, they'd already called it for Biden. Yeah. Like the polls were still open and they're like, Biden wins Illinois. And I'm like, well, I haven't voted yet. Maybe I'm going to. I'm flipping, well, I haven't voted yet. Maybe I'm going to-
Starting point is 00:16:06 Wait, I'm flipping the switch. I'm flipping the switch. But yeah, like they're basically just fucking the- They're just like numerically, you can't change this result. Yeah. But you know, he wound up winning every state that night, but it was one of those things that, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:21 I think they probably should have closed it down. They didn't. And that was the one thing. There's been a couple of things that, you know, I think they probably should have closed it down. They didn't. And that was the one thing. There's been a couple things that have been like, we're sluggish and we're doing some bad stuff. But for the most part, Illinois has been leading the pack of a lot of these blue states in closing stuff down.
Starting point is 00:16:37 I mean, Florida couldn't find its ass with two hands with keeping those beaches open and all the stuff that they're doing. How insane is that? Yeah. How insane is that to just like spring break and yeah i like i don't mean it this way as i don't because what i would love to have is that nobody gets sick so please know that but like you know there was a the first news story about coronavirus was januaryth, right? So the first major news story that broke was January 8th.
Starting point is 00:17:07 It's the middle of March. So essentially no time has passed, right? A tiny amount of time has passed. Which means that like what we know about this virus is very little. It's constantly changing because the facts on the ground
Starting point is 00:17:22 are constantly changing. The science is still emerging around how it works. A giant't been a giant sample of people that have gotten it. You know, yeah. And so like initially, like the conversation was like, oh, young people are fine. They barely get it. They're generally asymptomatic. And like the detailed reports that have been coming out this week, it's like, no, that's actually not true at all. So like there's this, there was this sense like around among young people that like, well, whatever, like, I don't care if I'm a vector for dozens or thousands of other people, I'm young and dumb and I'm going to go party and I won't get it. Or if I get it, it'll be like,
Starting point is 00:17:58 hachoo, I don't care. And like, that's so incredibly selfish and irresponsible that I will admit that there's a part of me that was like when the news stories came out that like yeah you know what actually a lot of young people are getting it and it's pretty fucking miserable and it's occasionally even fatal for people you know in a demographic we weren't previously worried about
Starting point is 00:18:18 I'm like yeah maybe you shouldn't like bank your life on emerging fucking research I want to talk about what happened in Italy for a second, because in Italy, they did pretty much the same thing. They heard about it and then they're, you know, they wound up going out and partying and doing stuff. And, you know, they, they, they came home and, and they got people sick around them. So some of the people might not have gotten ill though. Some of those young people might not have gotten ill. And I saw
Starting point is 00:18:42 a graph that showed that many people in the, in that age range are asymptomatic. Now, there's some that are dying and they're really getting, but there's a lot of people in that age range, especially because Korea did a side-by-side test with Italy. And Korea's numbers, based on those tests, showed that those people had very, very mild symptoms in that age group, had very mild symptoms, or they were asymptomatic, but they had a huge number of people who had it. And then in Italy, they didn't really show that because they're not testing enough. They're just not testing as much as South Korea was.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Oh, that sounds familiar. Yeah. Well, and testing saves lives. Testing is the thing that's going to save lives. Testing is the one thing that's going to save everybody's life. That and social you know, social distancing, quarantine,
Starting point is 00:19:28 that sort of thing is going to, that's going to save people's lives. The rest of the stuff that's happening, that's all long-term. That's all long down the road.
Starting point is 00:19:34 They're going to find something that'll probably give us a vaccine. They'll find something that can treat it. That's all long-term stuff. That's not now. Now,
Starting point is 00:19:41 in order to counteract it now, you need to know who has it and you have to keep those people away from each other. That's simple. It Now, in order to counteract it now, you need to know who has it and you have to keep those people away from each other. That's simple. It's literally that simple. It's almost like you can't solve a problem that you do not understand, quantify, and isolate.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Right? Right. Yeah, like, well, what are we going to do about it? Well, I don't know. I mean, we're just going to hope in the general direction of positivity. We're going to have a national day of fucking prayer around us. They did that.
Starting point is 00:20:06 They did that this week. They had a national day of prayer and didn't work, turns out, because it was four days ago. Yeah, right. So four days ago, well, I don't know. Four days ago and now there's 4,000 infected in New York alone. Maybe what God needed was he set his snooze alarm. So they called him and then he snoozed it and he snoozed it a couple of times,
Starting point is 00:20:30 but he won't snooze it eventually. Eventually he'll work through all the scientists to fix the problem. That's what's going to happen. Well, I'm going to fix it, but first you have to fix it. And then I will have fixed it. All you have to do is think up the solution.
Starting point is 00:20:47 That's on you, boy. That's on you. I would be more, I would be more inclined to give some kind of like credence to the idea of like, if all of a sudden, if every problem scientifically was solved when somebody woke up from a dream,
Starting point is 00:21:03 you know, and they're like, Eureka, I've got it, you know? And they're just like, and then instead it's just like, I slogged my way through tedious amounts of database research. You know, there's a lot of things to be hopeful about when it comes to this. I don't want to come down as somebody who's, you know, a hundred percent doom and gloom when it comes to this. There's a lot of things to be hopeful about. There's people all over the world all trying to solve this problem, and they're all really smart. And so we have a lot going for us when it comes to that. I saw today GM wants to turn their shop into making ventilators.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Yeah, the big three are all doing it. Yeah. It's hilarious though. Elon Musk comes onto Twitter and says, we'll switch over if there's a need. And someone says, yeah, there's a need. And he said, show me where there's a need. Show me one hospital that needs something. And one person said, just read one newspaper, Elon, just one newspaper. But he's just doing it as a show. And all the rest of them are actually saying, let's do this thing. They open sourced one of those things on the internet. They were talking about open source designing a respirator that can be 3D printed. So there's a bunch of people working on that. That's going to be open
Starting point is 00:22:14 source, open to anybody. A bunch of people are chipping in like carnivals saying, we'll turn our cruise ships into hospitals. So we'll just pull them up to port in places and there'll be a hospital for you right there. So there's, you know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of doers out there. There's a lot of people doing good things, right? And there's a lot of people researching. They're already into human testing
Starting point is 00:22:36 in several places all around the globe. Trump wanted to buy the vaccine from one of these places in Germany. In Germany, he, according to the Germans, he said, I'll give you, and it's unclear whether he said, I'll give you lots of money for the vaccine or I'll give you lots of money
Starting point is 00:22:52 if you develop it in the United States. But both of them are just shady. Yeah, both of them are like, okay, here's the deal. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Yep. And you're like, we're all in this thing together. it doesn't do any good in a global world to solve you can't solve the problem for the u.s right we have to solve this problem for everybody because if you don't solve the problem for
Starting point is 00:23:16 everybody somebody's gonna get on an airplane and just come over here and reinfect and start the wheel again yep like it's that's not. Like it's, it's not how that works. Like it's just not how that works. Safe sex. Then took on a whole new face. Now you got to have sex now with a gas mask and a condom. That's way too much protection. How are you going to have sex like this?
Starting point is 00:23:41 He looking at me like, actually, I like that. I like it. It do sound good when you speak whose stuff is this that ain't bad that ain't bad sister it comes from the new york times uh it's totally ad hoc why america's virus response looks like a patchwork for centuries the united states has resisted a centralized public health policy this week as protective measures against the coronavirus varied country to country americans saw the cost so this is an interesting article because it dovetails with what we've already talked about
Starting point is 00:24:14 on this show like we've we've lamented how many times that we don't have a public a central public health care system and a central public health healthcare system in times of crisis like this is just vastly easier to communicate with, to mobilize, to resource, to train. When you have this patchwork system, you get a patchwork response. You get a response that varies area by area, doctor by doctor, hospital by hospital by hospital county by county city by city
Starting point is 00:24:47 state by state so that means that like but we're not we're not a series of counties like the borders don't matter the county border doesn't change anything right your city border doesn't change anything right so like just because your city does a good job and the city won over doesn't do a good job that all that means is that the city did a great job and the city won over doesn't do a good job, all that means is that the cities that did a great job and the cities that did a bad job that border each other, you're going to have bleed over problems back and forth. Without any kind of centralized system, you're not going to have any response. The response is going to be slow. It's going to be ad hoc.
Starting point is 00:25:21 It's going to be voluntary at times. It's a goddamn nightmare. It's a goddamn nightmare. Yeah. It's a goddamn nightmare. Yeah, absolutely. And they talk in this article about how it's really county-based in the United States. That's how it's set up. It's by counties. So, and you know, I mean, yeah, you probably know what your county is. I know what my county is, but could you name five counties? You probably can't, right? That's the wrong person. Wrong person to ask because you're in the real estate. But seriously,
Starting point is 00:25:50 I would be hard-pressed to name 10 counties in Illinois. I would be hard-pressed to name 10 counties. You just don't know. And the thing is that the idea is that they don't communicate in the same way that a national healthcare system would. National healthcare system can look how many things are in certain places and they can reallocate resources based on that because if I'm a hospital in the middle of fucking
Starting point is 00:26:16 bumfuck Georgia and I don't have any cases of coronavirus but I have a fucking a ton of cases of masks, I can get those masks to somebody else because I don't have anybody who has this shit down here. But I can get them over to New York. But if I don't have any communication or any kind of way to track any of that stuff, I'm just a hospital in Georgia and you're a hospital in New York. How the fuck do we communicate? What do we do to each other? How do I reallocate resources to you other than by knowing that you need them, right? Yeah. And like
Starting point is 00:26:42 the way that the way that hospitals know that other hospitals need shit is the same way we know. They look at the news. Sure. They're literally looking at the same media that we're looking at. They put on Facebook marketplace. That's right. Yeah, right. You know, there are hospitals right now that are asking for people to bring them masks.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Yeah. Like hospitals that are like, if you have gloves and like bleach wipes and masks, please bring them to the hospital. Like we don't have, they don't have a way to, like you said, to like look outside their own geography. I know people that work in county government and like different counties have wildly different governments. Wildly different in terms of the corruption in those governments, in terms of the efficiencies, in terms of the money that flows into those governments, and then the resources that they allocate. And we're talking about counties that abut one another. So out here, like I have, I know people that work in DuPage County government. I know people that work in Cook County government.
Starting point is 00:27:42 I know people that work in Will County government. And those three governments couldn't be any more different. They literally could not function more differently than one another. They have different departments. They have different organizational structures. This is not an ideal way to have a system. It's not really much of a system because it's not interconnected in meaningful ways. The reason why the oceans are salty is that's what's needed to hold the water onto the earth. If that didn't happen, the water would levitate right off the earth. That'd be the end of it.
Starting point is 00:28:15 The salt holds it on in the same way it holds it into our body. This story comes from scmp.com. Coronavirus saltwater spray infects 46 churchgoers in South Korea. So there is a church I'm going to mispronounce this and I'm sorry. There's a church in Gyeonggi I don't know. There's a church somewhere that sprayed saltwater
Starting point is 00:28:36 into the mouths of its followers out of the belief that the saltwater would kill the virus. Instead they just transmitted the virus. Instead, they just transmitted the virus by spraying shit into each other's mouths. We are at a time
Starting point is 00:28:52 where we're like, let's stand six feet away, not like, hey, here's an open mucus membrane, spray something in it. What world does that seem like a good idea? If you're going to tithe to have somebody put a salty substance
Starting point is 00:29:08 into your mouth, just go to a glory hole. It's free. You don't even have to tithe. You just go there. They will put a salty substance into your mouth. Guaranteed. This is like stopping HIV by just mouth-fucking everybody. What are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:29:27 Well, you know, I mean, i mean i tried mouth fucking them but now they all have now they all have they all have aids too anyway i gotta try something new when i'm done mouth fucking everyone thinking about it but then i was like well you know this is so much fun well what i don't get what i don't get is off, don't you think everybody tried salt water already? Of all the things you try, you think maybe salt water would try that quick. See if that works. Nope. Still dying. Those people are still dying.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Nope. Salt water. Hey, Bill, cross salt water off the list. Totally didn't work on any of these human beings that are in here. Also, hasn't worked for thousands of years. Right. Hey, what's next on the list? Rub some dirt on it and walk it off.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Okay, let's try walk it off. What the fuck? Get that guy up. Make him walk. Come on. We got to get him up. I don't care if he's got a ventilator. Walk him around.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Okay, those are not working. How about I'll give you something to cry about? Hey, Tony, stop rubbing dirt on those guys and come over here and give these people something to cry about. That's what you need. We are sciencing so hard right now.
Starting point is 00:30:40 It's like, what is my dad in charge? Do we spray Windex on it like my big fat Greek wedding. People just, they can't even breathe. And you're just shooting Windex. Don't worry. You'll get better.
Starting point is 00:30:58 It's going to be great. Don't worry. You're going to be fine. Oh God. But it's, you know, but the problem is, is that this, and there's another story too, but the problem is, is that this,
Starting point is 00:31:05 and there's another story too, that we might not get to. Actually, let's just get to it now where they're talking about, um, they're licking, uh, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:16 what do you have to say next? What in the world are you going to say? Something sensible. You know, the only thing I could think about is licking balls, I guess would be the only thing that would be dead. But they're licking stuff to show that they're not, like, that they're
Starting point is 00:31:29 immune to it, that they can't get it. Yeah, that's in Iran, I think, where that was happening. It's in Iran where, like, the death toll is staggeringly high, where they're just like, look, we're not real good at this transparency with the world, but you can see the burial pits from space.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Yeah, man. Can we pause for one second? Do you know what I don't want to see anymore, though? I don't want to see any more headlines about what we can see from space. You can read a license plate from space now. Like, that's not the thing anymore. It's like, you could see it from from space and you're like, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:07 All right. But I can read a wristwatch on somebody commuting from space with Google Earth. That is a very low bar. It is true because you could see my house from space pretty easily. The plot of my land pretty easily. Right. So from Google Earth, like you can zoom all the way in and be like,
Starting point is 00:32:25 yeah, look, I should mow the lawn before the Google Earth car drives by. And you're like, oh, I can see the burial mounds from space. Google Earth satellite
Starting point is 00:32:34 that spins around. Maybe it's just a big drone and it doesn't actually get that high. Maybe it's just a big Google drone. We were fooled the whole time. We were all fooled by it because it actually doesn't have to go around anything, Tom,
Starting point is 00:32:46 because it's flat. So it just goes on one big... It's like a big Roomba in the sky. It just knows where the... It just bumps into clouds and switches directions. Bumps into clouds
Starting point is 00:32:55 and moves direction. There you go. There you go. Lovely to see you, of course, but why are we reaching across the aisle in public? On account of our clashing philosophical views.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Philosophical implies thinking, Robert. You know what John Stuart Mill said? That conservative people aren't necessarily stupid, but stupid people do tend to be conservative? That was then. Nowadays, stupid and stupid's mutant cousins, crazy and evil, are all that's left of your party. I'll see you in committee. So this story comes from Newsweek. Mitch McConnell criticized for calling Corona spill urgent priority after leaving D.C. for the weekend.
Starting point is 00:33:34 This story, like, feels almost quaint because it's from the 16th of March, by the way. Like, and we're recording this on the 19th of March. And the 16th of March was, according to my calendar, about 400 years ago. Yeah, it feels like about a decade ago. So what was happening is they were trying to pass an emergency coronavirus aid package, right? Because holy shit, coronavirus. People were losing jobs in the stock market. You check your 401k and it's now like a, Oh,
Starting point is 00:34:05 one K like you just lost a whole digit off of it. You check your 401k, you look at it on an app and then you hear a knock at the door and you see a guy like in a fucking trench coat with a fucking crowbar ready to break your legs. And you're just like, what the fuck? What is happening here?
Starting point is 00:34:23 Be ashamed of something were to happen to your 401k. You know what I mean? I can't afford to pay the VIG on my 401k anymore. It's fucking John Travolta from Get Sure. He's like, look at me. Look at me. Look at what I'm saying to you. You owe me fucking money over here.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Jesus Christ. But, you know, this came out like you said about a week ago. And then the other thing that happened today they found out, a leaked tape came out of someone on the security defense, some big muckety-muck. It was a senator
Starting point is 00:34:59 in one of the sort of closed-door committees they have, like the National Security Committee or something like that. 15 days ago, he was telling all his people at this big fundraiser, it's going to get real bad. I'm just letting you know ahead of time,
Starting point is 00:35:16 it's going to get real bad. You know, there's going to be, and he basically named all the shit that's already happened. Stock market's going to go down. People are going to lose their jobs. And he started naming a bunch of shit that was gonna happen and he basically told people 15 days ago but they didn't tell us any of that stuff no yeah right yeah they're just and mitch mcconnell's calling this shit urgent and then the house was voting on it and he sent the goddamn senate home for the weekend so the senate couldn't vote on the
Starting point is 00:35:42 fucking aid package over the weekend. Yeah. I mean like I don't know how we get to the fucking to the to the election this upcoming time and these people still have jobs. I mean they are sluggish and stupid and still fighting over shit. You know, do you remember
Starting point is 00:35:59 fucking when 9-11 happened and there was just this like amazing sort of cross the aisle group of shit that was going on because people were all in the exact same mode, which was, let's see what we can do to help people that had this problem, right? That, you know, the people that they were funding shit for 9-11 almost immediately. And there was cross the aisle, you know, there really was never any partisan back and forth. There wasn't any of this. Instead, this time they're just, they're all these, all these Republicans are just saying, yeah, well, what I want to do is I want to do it my way.
Starting point is 00:36:32 And I don't want to, I, and I'm going to block anything that you guys bring up. Yeah. Well, how, what the fuck, how was that helpful? It's not, but there was 9-11 was like good guy, bad guy, enemy shit, right? And like we're a sucker for easy narratives. We're just – and viruses are like invisible and complicated to understand. I mean they're not actually, but like they're more complicated to understand than like a bunch of dudes with box cutters. Like it's more complicated than that. And like flattening the curve is more complicated than like,
Starting point is 00:37:05 you know, flattening Afghanistan. It just is. You're absolutely right. You know, right. Yeah. And so like in nine 11,
Starting point is 00:37:12 we could all mobilize against a common enemy. And now we're just like, there are people that aren't even sure. Like there's still people see. So that I talk to that are like, nah, I think this whole thing's blown out of proportion. What?
Starting point is 00:37:24 I'm still talking to people. I am still talking to people regularly today, all the time. I'm talking to people every day that are like, well, when everything's back to normal in a couple of weeks, we're going to do this. And I'm just like, nothing's going back to normal. Yeah. Like, that's like, get that out of your fucking head. Like, normal is over now. Like, normal will reset to something new
Starting point is 00:37:45 and different and it won't be in two weeks and everything we do now defines what the world looks like in six or eight months when we finally come out of something like if we come out of something in six or eight months we could be we could be in this shit for 18 months or longer financially yeah like for sure i'm making plans 18 months down the road. Like I am trying to shore up my life on an 18 month cycle because I'm, I'm pretty sure we're going to end up in a massive recession, possibly a depression. Yeah. So like I'm trying to get 18 months ahead of it and I, I would get further along, but I don't know that I can. Yeah. But like, I'm still talking to people that think this is going to be over
Starting point is 00:38:26 in two weeks. Oh yeah, I know, I know. You know, it's funny because I knew some people who were, a couple of weeks ago, were very much, oh, come on.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Come on, really? Are you really that afraid of that? What the fuck? What are you guys doing? And then, now they've flipped their tune because Trump has changed his tune. Trump has changed his tune this week. And I want to play a clip, Tom,
Starting point is 00:38:49 I'm going to let it play all the way through without you interrupting. Cause I want you to hear exactly what, because you got to hear the whole thing. You got to hear the whole thing. Now I'm going to put a link to this on the, on our website. This is a link to a tweet, a tweet. Well, you'll hear a clicking sound of sort of tallying numbers. And that's the death count going up and the cases going up. So when you hear that, that's what you're hearing. This is a real, this is a pandemic. I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Are you worried about a pandemic at this point? No, we're not at all. And we have it totally under control. We're now up to our eighth case in the United States. How concerned are you? Well, we pretty much shut it down. A lot of people think that goes away in April. We have contained this.
Starting point is 00:39:38 I won't say airtight, but pretty close to airtight. In a couple of days, it's going to be down to close to zero. There's a chance that it won't spread. It's going to disappear one day. It's like a miracle. Almost everybody that we see is getting better. And it could be everybody. They're going to have vaccines, I think, relatively soon.
Starting point is 00:39:57 And they're going to have something that makes you better. And that's going to actually take place, we think, even sooner. We have thousands or hundreds of thousands of people that get better just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work. Some of them go to work, but they get better. As of right now and yesterday, anybody that needs a test, that's the important thing. And the tests are all perfect. Like, the letter is perfect. I'm not happy about the lack of the appropriate number of test kits, that's for sure.
Starting point is 00:40:28 I'm just concerned that you're not taking this seriously enough and that some of your statements don't match what your health experts are saying. Let's see you then. The president's saying, for example, he's going to continue with political rallies in the face of this. Is this sending the right message? Going to a rally, there's no reason that you shouldn't go. It's really working out, and a lot of good things are going to happen. On this sign up here, it says you should stop handshaking.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Well, look, as the president has said, in our line of work, you shake hands. When someone wants to shake your hand, I expect the president will continue to do that. I'll continue to do it. No, I don't take responsibility at all. You just hear I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic. You just hear every moment of that is him downplaying it, downplaying it, downplaying it. Look at what he wanted to do. He wanted to make sure that there weren't the people coming off the boat because they were going to raise the numbers. I mean, he said it out loud. He said it out loud. That was unbelievable. And then all the different times,
Starting point is 00:41:46 oh, it's just going to go away. Don't worry. In a couple of weeks, it's probably going to be down to zero. He was downplaying this forever. And just recently, he said that last bit, which was,
Starting point is 00:41:56 I knew it was a pandemic from the start. It's been a pandemic for a long time. I pandemic, pandemic, pandemic, pandemic, pandemic, pandemic. I'm a pandemic guy. Look at me. I know a pandemic when I see one. I sit around with all these doctors and they look at me and they say, you really know a pandemic when you see one. And I say, yeah, I know a pandemic when I see one and they all agree. And then we all high five each other, but then we sanitize their hands
Starting point is 00:42:20 because you're not allowed to high five anymore. And then we left. It's seriously, it's the most ridiculous thing you ever heard. But there are people now, because he changed his tune, Tom, they have changed their tune. They were not before worried about it. Now they are. That's unreal. And not only is that unreal,
Starting point is 00:42:38 it's unsurprising, right? It's entirely unsurprising. But the goddamn tragic part of that is they haven't then done anything to prepare themselves and they have spent precious time not socially distancing. They have not accumulated supplies. If somebody in their home gets sick and needs to be quarantined, they have not all that time that they should have spent. they should have spent if we had competent fucking leadership that was transparent about the scope of the problem and that took things fucking seriously again like so many of our governors have done yeah like if we had real this is a moment where like we don't need a personality in chief that's
Starting point is 00:43:16 bullshit we hired a fucking bullshit personality in chief who wants to stand in front of a fucking podium with a really cool seal on it and you know take his picture in front of a goddamn marine helicopter and look like a billy badass motherfucker and skate through four or eight years intimidating a bunch of sycophants that was his fucking goal but we have a real problem we have like a problem that we have not faced since 1918 we haven't had a problem this fucking big and it is like a test of any leader to lead you through this, to make decisions, to be transparent, to find resources,
Starting point is 00:43:50 to be innovative with solutions, to do the things that like real leaders do on a minute by minute basis. And then like, that's what inspires people to be able to act on their own and to do the right thing. Cause they understand what the right thing is. Cause they understand the problem. And instead we have this fucking buffoon. It's the worst.
Starting point is 00:44:08 We have a guy who has literally no idea what he's doing. Literally no idea. I mean, and when he, you know, he seems like he's trying to finally ask people what to do and they're telling him how to handle it. And I think there's certainly smart people in government that are probably giving him good advice and hopefully he's following it. But really, there is a good path to follow in a couple of places. And they've roadmapped some of this out. And like you said, it's different everywhere. It's going to be different everywhere. It's going to be different here in the States because we're fucking huge. We have this enormous population. We don't have borders. We're not like Italy where we could just say, well, we're just going to close our borders off.
Starting point is 00:44:48 And then we're this little area is just, that's it. That's all we got is just us. We can't do that. We can't close off Illinois. You know, it's not a real thing. It's not a real thing. It's just a fucking, it's just a line, a surveyor drew and a river, right? Those are your two borders.
Starting point is 00:45:03 So, you know, what the fuck? You just look at it and you say, well, that's a fucking imaginary place. Now, granted, the river isn't an imaginary place, but there's plenty of bridges. What are you going to do? Put the National Guard up and all around every single road that leads in and out of Illinois. That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever said in my life right now. That's the dumbest thing I've ever uttered. You can't do it. So you're going to basically have an entire country that's going to have to work together and figure out these things. You know, we can, we could, you know, you could get rid of it almost completely in one state, but people from other states are just going to wander in and give it to everybody. So unless
Starting point is 00:45:37 the entire country acts like one, you're the one state that's really acting really well, isn't going to benefit. Well, and like one of the craziest things that happened with this goddamn pandemic is like at the very outset, there have been tests. The WHO had a test. And like for reasons that nobody can find an explanation for. I seriously cannot find an explanation. The United States said, no, we don't want the WHO approved test. We're going to make our own test. And it put us weeks and weeks behind.
Starting point is 00:46:08 We're still nowhere near where we need to be. And you can't do the essential work of finding people and isolating them to stop the spread of this fucking thing if you don't have testing. Yep. It's 100% true. And that's the one thing that will save us is tests. The more tests we have, the better off we'll be. The more testing we do, the better off we'll be. I know people are nervous about the National Guard rolling in, but I welcome the National Guard if they're going to
Starting point is 00:46:35 put up drive-through testing centers. Oh my God, yeah. If they're going to put drive-through testing centers all over, I welcome the fact that the National Guard will be here to make sure that those things run efficiently and smoothly. And I get to find out, just like they did in South Korea, where you drive up, you give them your phone number, they do whatever they have to do, and then they throw whatever they do and they let you go. And then they take your phone number and they text you later whether or not you have it. You know within a couple hours whether or not you have it. The president got tested this last week. Tested. I got to say that they specifically asked him a question in the next briefing, right?
Starting point is 00:47:09 So he got tested. He said he got tested, came back negative. They asked him a question in the next briefing and he said something like, yeah, they said, what was the test like, your majesty? What was the test like? And he said, and he's like, well, here's the thing. It was one of those, it was the test like and he said and he's like well here's the thing it was one of those it was a test it was a it was a you know it's like a medical test and it was a one of those
Starting point is 00:47:31 tests i'll tell you it wasn't pleasant wasn't a pleasant test tell you that and it's like the guy and fucking 40 year old virgin explaining how the dude feels you're just like you are such a liar that never happened because if you told me, hey Cecil, you just went to the doctor and you got yourself a shot for tetanus. What happened? I could tell you the entire process. I know what happened
Starting point is 00:47:56 because I was in it. It happened to me. I know. But he's just like, oh yeah. It was a test. It was a beautiful test. You're just like, you're a fucking liar, man. Such a test. You didn't get tested. What a great test.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Love that test. Let me tell you, the doctors who administer the test, the best. Such good doctors. Beautiful test. Very fast, efficient. What a test. People say, you're so good at these tests. You don't even study for this test.
Starting point is 00:48:19 How could you be such a good test taker? And I say, look, I don't know. My uncle, he once had a friend who said this guy look at him take this test he's so good at testing and i just the natural ability i have for this test avanka isn't she beautiful i'd fuck avanka everybody raise your hand if you'd fuck avanka yeah yeah yeah uh i mean uh hey everybody uh uh welcome to this next part where there's a clip. No, don't. Don't.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Go to the floor. This next thing is a clip from the live stream from last Thursday. Oh, that guy got gibbed. Oh, okay. From the last Thursday, if you want to watch the live streams, it's every Thursday, 9 p.m. Central, even in quarantine times is that the BFG? BFG 9000? yeah sorry I'm playing Doom Eternal
Starting point is 00:49:10 right now so I'm a little preoccupied but listen to the live stream and join us every Thursday and maybe gaming live stream? I don't know okay thanks bye oh god the chainsaw.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Well, I know they don't want us to do this, but just turn around and greet two or three people. Tell them you love them. Jesus loves them. Amen. Just go ahead and spit in their mouths. Yeah, yeah. Just go ahead.
Starting point is 00:49:41 If you're the receiver, you have to lean your head back and open your mouth like it's a Bukkake video. And the other person's got to stand on the chair and just spit right in your fucking gaping maw. What they do is they, like down the aisles, you spit and then they spit in the other guy. Then they spit and they just transfer it one to the other to the other. And then at the end, it's all just in a giant collection plate. All right, Tom, stop. You're getting me turned on by Tom.
Starting point is 00:50:10 It's getting a little warm in here. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Oh, that's so amazing. You should just, what they should do is they should all just hold out their fingers and one row should just suck on each of their fingers
Starting point is 00:50:20 and walk down. There's just some guy with like four people just sucking on his hands. Just like... He's like a weird cow. He's just like, what is happening? What's going on? It's his first day at this church.
Starting point is 00:50:40 He's just like, I don't even know you people. What the fuck? But it started off right though some other guy just you're just i love church oh man workers young people lime scooter bird scooter our seniors locally sourced organic scooter cooperatives like we have in vermont burn scooter this is locally sourced organic scooter cooperatives like we have in vermont burn scooter this is locally sourced yes organic yes non-gmo right sage exactly rick i just filibustered in
Starting point is 00:51:15 my pants sister comes from the washington post shut this president up right now sanders lashes out at trump's blabbering response to coronavirus. I got to say, like, one of my favorite things about Bernie Sanders is how fucking irascible he is. Oh, I love it. I love it so much. He's just he's been mad since the fucking 40s. Like, he came out of the womb just, like, yelling at people and shaking his finger. Angry as fuck. Absolutely you know right well he absolutely is the bumbling stupid response he's been having and
Starting point is 00:51:52 this was see again this he said this several days ago because this came out on the 16th but he said this over the weekend right so again this was before trump had came out and said oh i think it's a pandemic i think it's a pandemic Trump at this point was still downplaying it kind of. So the president was kind of, was being an idiot, being a frumpy asshole, crossing his arms in the meetings. Oh my God. He was just being a douchebag. And so they, he specifically called them out for it. Did you watch this debate that happened on that Saturday night? I did not, no. Yeah, I watched it and I gotta say, I don't think either of them looked
Starting point is 00:52:29 super sharp. I know you're in the middle of a crisis. I know you're in the middle of campaigning, but at one point, Bernie's calling it Ebola? And then Biden is also having some senior moments up there. I'm just like, what the fuck is happening?
Starting point is 00:52:46 How did we get to a point where the two oldest guys in the room are like, yeah, I'll take the job. What about all those young people that were in the room? What about all the women who were in the room? Like, no, we're checking out. Let's leave it to the old guys again. Dude, 2020, something, something. Pick any 70-year-old white man you want yep yep any 70 year old white man going on that's what you get sorry you don't get anything else and don't get me wrong
Starting point is 00:53:11 i like bernie sanders i voted for bernie sanders in the primary like bernie sanders a lot i'm a fan of bernie sanders i think bernie sanders plans and ideas and how he's talking about this particularly was really good it was a really good way to talk about it. I don't think Joe Biden talked about it in a way that was alarming. He had very similar ideas to how Bernie Sanders was talking about it. It wasn't that Joe Biden was saying, no, what we need to do is cut everybody's head off and stick them in a fucking furnace. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:53:37 He's basically saying, you know, we need to handle it basically in the exact same way. He's saying that we need to make sure that nobody has to pay anything for anything that happens with this disease. You know, on and on. I mean, it was, you know, I agree with Bernie Sanders way more than I agree with Biden.
Starting point is 00:53:52 But at the same time, I didn't think Biden was saying things that were so alarming that I needed to throw up the red flag. The problem was, is that, you know, a couple of days later, you know, and this has been the trend. After that first Super Tuesday,
Starting point is 00:54:04 it has been a downward slump for Bernie Sanders and an uphill climb. You just, I mean, just unbelievable for what's happening to him. You would think how well he did in the, in, in 2016, you would think that he would come back and be the favorite this time around, especially after what, how well he ran against Clinton, but he is struggling so hard against Biden. The Bernie shine is gone for me, right? Like I like him as a person. I want to live in Bernie's world. But at this point, like,
Starting point is 00:54:33 I don't think Bernie's world is the world that we're going to get. I don't think Bernie's world is the world that America as a whole is motivated. The important part of this is motivated to create. And that's the only thing that matters. You have to get people on board motivated to help create this revolution,
Starting point is 00:54:52 right? Otherwise it's just a bunch of fucking internet warrior bullshit. It's a bunch of echo chamber nonsense. It's not going to happen unless people do the one thing that matters and show up to vote. They're not doing it. Young people are not present. They have sat this thing out. So if they're going to sit out the primary, which is where they get to choose whether or not their guy even gets a chance to play, they were never going to show up to the general. They were never going to show up to the general.
Starting point is 00:55:20 And like what that means is that the people that matter in America, the doers, to use your word, the doers, those are the people that vote. If you're not a voter, you're not a doer. You don't matter politically. You are an irrelevance politically. So like what matters in America are the people who decide to choose. And like if you don't decide to choose you're just making noise it's farts in the wind it means nothing don't do it like so i look at bernie and i'm like that is not gonna
Starting point is 00:55:52 happen that's just not like america has spoken silently and we have squeaked our way back into the fucking mouse hole that's not the world that the doers have decided that they want to build and maybe next time we get it, but we don't get it this time. Well, you don't get it this time. And it upsets me that the idealists miss out again, but you've got to understand it's a big goddamn country and the Democratic Party is a big goddamn tent. It's not just you. It's not just Reddit. It's not just Sanders for president on Reddit. It's not just your Facebook group. It's not just our Facebook group, which is heavily Bernie, Bernie. I mean, there are some people who are Biden minded and I, you know, but there's some
Starting point is 00:56:36 people who are Bernie centric, many people. It's not just you. There's a lot of people out there who don't have faith that Bernie can, Bernie can lead this country. They don't agree with Bernie's policies. Look, that's just the way it is. He didn't do a good enough job convincing them. He didn't do a good enough job doing that. Now, would they ever believe him?
Starting point is 00:56:55 I don't know. I don't know if that, I don't know if I, I don't have that answer whether or not they would or not, but I will say this. He, Biden came out. What,
Starting point is 00:57:03 what I thought was a joke of the campaign early on and has absolutely run the fucking, just ran through everybody. Now, I think Biden's a weak candidate to be perfectly frank. I think Biden has a lot of problems, but he's going to have more problems if people don't vote for him.
Starting point is 00:57:20 If people just sit this one out, if the idealists like me sit it out because they're mad, you don't want this fucking dipshit in chief trying to figure out how to fix things that he can't fix now. You need somebody in there who's going to have some kind of solid plan and somebody who's going to listen to the fucking science. You want somebody who's going to listen to the science? You want somebody that's going to listen to the economists? You know, one thing that Trump does too is he plays at economist and he is not an economist he's a businessman and there's a big fucking difference between businessman and economist and he doesn't listen to the
Starting point is 00:57:54 economist when they give him advice like he is the fucking literal worst person to have in charge this because he doesn't listen to anybody because he doesn't respect anybody as much as he believes his own opinion and like like if you like i don't care about biden winning what i care about is trump losing that is more important right now you gotta have me absolutely i'm a hundred percent i have that guy out of the fucking office you gotta have somebody like gonna who's gonna appoint a decent fucking judge the other thing is like yeah we got covet 19 but if you like read anything ever like all the scientists have been warning look with climate change with deforestation we are just gonna see more of these viruses enter our world you could have covet 20 we could you know, like, there's nothing that says this is the only pandemic we'll have. You could have overlapping
Starting point is 00:58:48 pandemics. That's not an impossibility. If you look at what the scientists have been warning about for years and years and years, we could have a huge flu season on top of the COVID issue. Like, you gotta have effective fucking leadership. And we have nothing. We have nothing.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Like, a broom with a hat on would have been better. It would have nothing we have nothing nothing like a broom with a hat on would have been better it would have been better because it wouldn't have lied a hand puppet controlled by a child molester would have been better i know a lot of you come here you watch tv you wait every night for somebody to come on here and give you an answer for your lives waiting for someone that'll come and say, hey, this is it. I don't have to settle for defeat anymore. I can rise up out of my routine. I can get a hold of myself.
Starting point is 00:59:33 I don't have to lose. I can win. There's something inside me that's not going to let me go down anymore. But I'm not the guy. So this story comes from the joe my god blog trump's spiritual advisor seeks 91 faith seed for the soul sick during her coronavirus prayer speech so this is fucking paula white like paula white is not nobody paula white is yeah the white house spiritual advisor to Trump.
Starting point is 01:00:06 And so I think it would be good to read what she actually is saying, just so there's like no fucking confusion. Many churches have health centers, et cetera, but we are a hospital for those who are soul sick, those who are spiritually sick, because we bring forth the word of God. We bring for truth that gets down deep in your soul, the way you think and you feel about things
Starting point is 01:00:25 what does that mean what the fuck what kind of fucking word salad gibberish ass bullshit is that dumbest shit i've ever heard seriously we bring forth the word of god okay and we bring forth truth that gets deep down in your soul in the way you think and you feel about things so there's true what the fuck all right just fucking what why can't you like you can't speak you cannot do it you're bad at this maybe you'd like to sew a 91 seed and that's just putting your faith with psalm. Notice she didn't pick Psalm 12. Yeah, she definitely didn't pick Psalm Finn or Psalm Sawbuck
Starting point is 01:01:11 or Psalm, yeah. She fucking picked Psalm 91. Yeah, right. You know, hey, anyway, maybe you'd like to give me about $100. Yep. Probably you would like that. Or maybe $9 or whatever God tells you to do yeah suggested 91 exactly right
Starting point is 01:01:32 you wouldn't you know when you go to the fucking art institute in chicago they expect you to pay the suggested donation they don't expect you to walk up and not pay anything they they ask for your credit card they don't say well you could go in but we'd really like you to walk up and not pay anything. They ask for your credit card. They don't say, well, you could go in, but we'd really like you to get some money. They'd be like, can I have your credit card, sir? That's the first thing they ask for. They're like, oh no, yeah, well, if you could spare it, we'd really like it. No, no, no. They give you a bill and then you have to be the asshole and refuse it. If you want to be a blessing to paula white ministry or city of destiny you can go to
Starting point is 01:02:07 website at paulawhite.com now i'm not saying that this is an egotistical narcissistic bitch out for her own ends but she named it after herself yeah it's not caught it's not it'sChangeYourLife.com. Right. It's not like JesusIsSuperNito.org or whatever. It's not SeedDonations.org. Right. Yeah, it's Paula White. It's not like ChangeYourLife.com. Instead, it's like me, me, me.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Give me money. Guess who's spending it? Me. Look at all my plastic surgery. Well, it's hard not to look at it, though, because it's like a protruding. Dude, she looks like a goddamn Frankenstein monster. She looks so crazy to me. In some pictures, she looks
Starting point is 01:02:49 normal. In other pictures, she looks terrifying. And I just imagine she's like one of those, you know, like when they have those sculptures that turn and as they turn, they change and they get different. They turn into different things. She looks like one of those. She looks like she's constantly trying to morph into a new form.
Starting point is 01:03:09 She's like, seriously, she's full uncanny valley. You know what I mean? At this point, absolutely. I can't put my finger on what looks wrong. A hundred percent. But it's just, it all adds up to a picture that you're just like, if you were in my house late at night, I'd fucking stab you. Yeah, 100%.
Starting point is 01:03:29 We would love for you to help us and stand with us. We'd love for you to stand with your church. Implied here, if you don't, what kind of person are you? Yep, yep. Not standing with your church. Exactly, exactly. Don't forget, now is not the time to abandon your covenant with God. It's a time that you go deeper. Hey, now. All right. You know what? That's as deep as it goes.
Starting point is 01:03:53 That's it. Look, that's Jen. It's all in. It's like one of those cars that you buy and they say as is that's what this is. it's an as is as this transaction emotionally invested exactly emotionally invested and you like cuddling i hope those two things will save this whole thing but what i want to say though is tom this is all about the grift man that's what this is all it's all about the grift and she is constantly know, every single one of these fuckers is utilizing this epidemic, this pandemic as a way to try to gain more people, to give more money. They're constantly doing it. And it's, this is a horrible thing.
Starting point is 01:04:39 And they're saying, you know, they're basically, this is God's protection racket. What God's doing is God is coming down and being like, hey, that's a nice lung you got there. It sure would be a shame if coronavirus were happening to it. That would be real tough. And so they're basically paying protection money. But it's useless. You might as well just fucking make it rain on a fucking sewer rat.
Starting point is 01:05:01 It would be the exact same fucking difference. Well, like, Paula White, I just looked it exact same fucking difference. Well, like Paula White, I just looked it up a second ago. Paula White's net worth is $5 million. $5 million. She doesn't need, she doesn't need your $91,
Starting point is 01:05:13 but guess how she got her $5 million? Yeah. Because people gave her $91. A lot, a whole lot. And she's asked for your money a lot of times. And the problem is, is that people are going to give more now
Starting point is 01:05:24 because they're afraid. Yeah, they think it's going to protect them. She's asked for your money a lot of times. And the problem is that people are going to give more now because they're afraid. Yeah, they think it's going to protect them. She's saying like, don't abandon your covenant with God. That's literally a threat. Yep. That is literally an actual threat. Like, it is the thing that keeps you safe. This is the thing that keeps you safe.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Why would you walk away from that now? Yep. Yeah, absolutely. It's the one thing that you're, you know, it's sort of your, it's your guidebook right now. It's what's going to get you through this whole thing. And if you reject it now, where will you be? You'll be lost. You'll be lost without it. And there's going to be a ton of people that are going to be chucking their money at her because, and this is not an isolated incident. This is, and this is, it's not an isolated
Starting point is 01:06:02 incident. And it's also a lady who also has a lot of power, a lot of power in this country and a lot of publicity in her name because she's connected to the president. This is somebody who looked at this crisis and thought, I can make a buck on that. How do I make money off of this? Right.
Starting point is 01:06:17 This is like, this is, she is the spiritual equivalent to that asshole that like hoarded hand sanitizer. Yeah, fucking A, it absolutely is. Speaking of making money off of Crisis, we'd like to thank all our patrons. Of course,
Starting point is 01:06:35 we'd like to thank every patron we have, but we'd like to thank our newest patrons, Adria, Joshua, Dart Goblin, Alex,
Starting point is 01:06:43 Marvin, Sean, Stacy, Steven, Luke, Colin, Joshua, Sherrylin Alex, Marvin, Sean Stacy, Steven, Luke, Colin Joshua, Sherry, Jeff Andrew, Eric, Steven Daniel, another Steven this one with a PH Mike, Chris Peter in Korea, Houdini
Starting point is 01:06:58 Steven Karen, Corey Michael and Galen thank you so much for your generous donations. We are going to be sending mugs to Marvin, to Jeff, and to Galen. So we'll be sending out those mugs this week, hopefully if there's still a post office.
Starting point is 01:07:21 So if that still happens, we will be doing our best. We may be locked down here in Illinois. They just locked down California, we will be doing our best. We may be locked down here in Illinois. They just locked down California while we were on the air tonight. So that happened. So we have no idea what's going to happen in Illinois, but we will try to get these mugs to you. Just understand that there is a pandemic right now and you may not get your mug right away. Yeah. Your patron mug may be delayed due to global crisis. Yeah, exactly. But send us a message with your snail mail address and we will ship it out to you.
Starting point is 01:07:48 Dissonance.podcast.gmail.com or ian.dissonancepod.com and we will ship those out to you when we can. So we got a message from Michael and Michael says, hey guys, there's definitely a case from the left for gun ownership. I agree.
Starting point is 01:08:01 I'm a gun owner. Tom, you're a gun owner, right? I'm a gun owner. So there's a case. We just, Tom and I are just the two guys who think that gun ownership. I agree. I'm a gun owner. Tom, you're a gun owner, right? I'm a gun owner. So there's a case. Tom and I are just the two guys who think that gun ownership is okay as long as it is heavily regulated. It is currently not. So it's not regulated really at all. As opposed to virtually unregulated. Yeah, it's virtually unregulated. So we're on the other side of that. He says, though, when I say left, I mean the country. I mean what this country considers for our left, socialists and such.
Starting point is 01:08:26 It comes down to a belief in mutual community defense that minorities and marginalized folks should not disarm. I agree. And that it's for many, it's safer to be able to defend oneself against, defend oneself than call the police. And he says that, that said, the Black Guns Matter shirt, the guy definitely wasn't a lefty. The shirt is making fun of Black Lives Matter. I don't, it was a black guy. I have no idea. I didn't realize
Starting point is 01:08:54 that. I thought that he was not making fun of Black Lives Matter. I thought maybe he was, it was also just a play on that, but maybe you're right. I have no idea. You're probably right, actually, but it's probably people who are far more in the know than this than I am. But I thought maybe he was someone on the left. But I know for sure that there was, I had read that there was people who came across the aisle in that to go protest at that Virginia thing. This was what we were talking about last
Starting point is 01:09:17 week. So I had heard that there was people from across the aisle. I did choose that guy as a way to say, oh, that clearly there's people here that are left, but maybe he's not. You're probably right, Michael. So we got a message from Ian. Now, this is not Ian that mixes the show, different Ian on Patreon. He says, anyone else realize how quickly the, if we ever meet, we will hug your reward, went from a reward to a threat really quick. That's true. It's a different world now. Tom and I were talking about it earlier on the show,
Starting point is 01:09:50 but it's so true. You know, you're going to be watching movies in the future and you're going to be thinking, wow, those people are way too close to each other. It's guaranteed. Guaranteed. Somebody's going to drink out of the same bottle as someone else and you're going to literally fall over on the ground
Starting point is 01:10:03 and start crying. So we got a message from Tucker and Tucker was saying that Alex Jones is silver stuff. While Alex Jones's stuff is a joke, silver is a very valuable thing in the medical profession. It's antimicrobial and it sort of helps. There's a lot of people who do some, like they basically have used silver in the medical industry a lot of people who do, um, who do some, uh, like they basically have, uh, uh, use silver in the medical industry a lot. We recognize that, but we know that the stuff that Alex Jones is hawking is absolute garbage. There's nothing. And we know the reason why he's doing it is exactly why Tucker says is to give his product an air of legitimacy that makes it look like it's some
Starting point is 01:10:42 sort of legitimate medical product and it's not. Yeah, absolutely. And like most of the, most of the legitimate medical uses for silver are topical. They're in bandages. Yeah. There are salves and ointments and there's a huge difference between things that work topically and things that work systemically. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. That's, that's absolutely true. So we got a, we got a message from Christine and Christine sent a tweet and I'm just going to read it. I'm actually going to sing it. If you're a Nazi and you're fired, it's your fault. You're a Nazi and you're fired.
Starting point is 01:11:14 It's your fault. If you were spotted in the mob and you lost your fucking job, you're a Nazi and you're fired. It's your fault. Love it. Love it. Love it so much. That's so great and it's fucking true. It's your fault. Love it. It's great. Love it so much. That's so great. And it's fucking true. It's fucking true as fuck.
Starting point is 01:11:27 Absolutely. And I got to say to the fucking president calling it the Chinese virus. What a fucking racist dog whistle that is. Right. And he's still saying it. He's still defending it. Even when people call him out and they're like, come the fuck on. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:44 And he's just like man man i never back down down is not where i back yep and there was people calling it uh to a an asian reporter said that someone in the in the administration called it the kung flu this week to her face to her face fucking outrageous unbelievable i mean he's just he's an unabashed racist he's just an unabashed, like we're not, we're not even pretending anymore. It's not racist to say that the, that the, uh, that the virus originated in China. That's not racist to say. No, it's just a true place that it started. It's a racist to call it a Chinese virus. And if you don't know the difference
Starting point is 01:12:22 between those two things, you're an asshole. So we got a message from someone who's in the Netherlands and they said that our government declared yesterday that employers of at-home employees, like restaurant workers, are going to be compensated 90% of their employees' salaries. Wow.
Starting point is 01:12:39 Can you imagine a country that utilizes the funds they get from the people to help the people, Tom? How the fuck would that work? To be fair, there's only nine people in the Netherlands. Yeah, it's true. They all chipped in. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:53 So they're just like, hey, can we help Greg? Yeah. Greg is at home right now. We got a message from Mary and Mary said that basically at the university that they're at, a few departments at the university are in the process of producing tests to distribute and they have the manpower to process
Starting point is 01:13:13 the tests. They are mostly made up of grad student volunteers that have lined up to help. Last I heard, the university lawyers are processing their quest. We have already started on creating the tests. Underpaid scientists to the rescue. Our average stipend is around $30,000. We have already started on creating the tests. Underpaid scientists to the rescue. Our average stipend is around 30K. We're totally doing this to profit,
Starting point is 01:13:31 but we are totally doing this to profit off the world and create bio threats for petty political reasons. I think that's amazing. But I want to point out too, someone was quoted this week and I just saw the text, so I don't know how true it is, I just saw the text. So I don't know how true it is, but I saw the text over someone's face. So I think it might've been a meme or whatever,
Starting point is 01:13:50 but some Spanish scientist was quoted this week and said, yeah, you pay footballers a million dollars a day and you pay us $1,800 a month. Why don't you go ask the footballers to fix this? You know, it's like, and I think genuinely, genuinely, we need to look at, not only, you got to start looking at all these people right now, especially the people in like the service industry
Starting point is 01:14:10 that are still doing stuff. We should be paying them hazard pay. It is absolutely a hazard for them to be on the job right now. And anybody who's getting paid and has to go to work and has to leave their house and doesn't have the privilege
Starting point is 01:14:21 of being at home should absolutely be getting hazard pay. Somehow, there should absolutely be something, some extra compensation there because you shouldn't have to just go there and be like, oh, well, I guess I'm fucked. I guess I'm just going to have to fucking, you know, go to work and get the same shitty. And these are a lot of these people are the same fucking people were saying, yeah, they got to pay that person 15 to $15 an hour is too much to pay that person. A lot of these people are not making that much. Yeah. We rely so heavily on the service workers
Starting point is 01:14:45 and they rely on their goddamn income. Like they can't afford not to go to work. It's just taking advantage of them to be like, I'm not going outside. You take my risks for me. Yep, exactly.
Starting point is 01:14:56 So that is going to wrap it up for this week. We hope we'll be back next week if there's still a show and still a place to record and all that stuff. Still a world. We hope that you take care of each other. Be
Starting point is 01:15:07 kind to people. Be kind specifically to people that are in the service industry right now. They're having a real tough time and a little kindness goes a long way. I said this on the stream last week, but I'm going to repeat it to
Starting point is 01:15:23 everybody here. People deal with anxiety in different ways and give people space to deal with their own anxiety in a way that is helpful to them. This is a very anxious time. People all over are feeling very anxious right now. And so however you deal with it and however the people around you deal with it, help them deal with it in a very healthy, positive way. And so if they need space, give them space. If they're a crier, let them cry. If they're a laugher, laugh with them. But make sure you give people space and don't be the person who shits on someone else's anxiety, especially right now. That's the worst thing you can do to somebody is to not help them through this part. And you should be there for other people right now
Starting point is 01:16:12 to help them through this part. Hopefully, Tom and I kidding around and being a little angry today, we're there for you. Hopefully, you can be there for somebody else, but be kind to each other. This is the time to do it. So that is going to wrap it up for this week. We are going to be back next week, but we is going to wrap it up for this week uh we are
Starting point is 01:16:25 going to be back next week but we're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment, Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms,
Starting point is 01:17:08 Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands.
Starting point is 01:17:24 Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis.
Starting point is 01:18:08 No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you. Bye.

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