Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 525: Fatty Boom Batty

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago And also not Chicago This is Cognitive Dissonance Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way

We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence To any topic that makes the news, makes it big or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 524. Yeah, 24, I think. You already know it's 525, right?

I don't need to say it. Okay. Um, yeah. We are continuing our socially distant recording. Yeah. Cecil, how's your social distancing? Are you still fully socially distant? I am still fully socially distant.

Yeah. I haven't run into anybody or seen anybody. Are you still emotionally distant? I've been emotionally distant since I was a kid. So yeah. How about you? Are you still, you're, you're still in the workforce though. You're doing stuff.

Still in the workforce, buddy. Yeah. I'm, I'm one of those heroes. Are you one of those heroes out in the workforce, though. You're doing stuff. Still in the workforce, buddy. I'm out and about at least. Are you one of those heroes out in the workforce, the essential workers? Yeah, me and the fucking lady at Starbucks who hands me my... You know what?

I'm just going to... And I know I actually enjoy the let's bitch about things that are first world segment. So they've opened up some of the Starbucks stores, right? Yeah. So I'm at work a couple of days. It's been a little more the last few weeks. Like it's two, three days a week.

I got to wake up and go to the office at some point, right? And that means I got to go to Starbucks because I have got to get some goddamn coffee or I'm not going to make it. And they keep fucking playing with my emotions, Cecil, because they're opening and closing the goddamn stores with no rhyme or reason. And no, like, like a store is open one day and then I go to the same store the next day and they're like, we're closed till June 1st. And they're open and they're just like, they're just doing this.

It's like the fucking worst on again, off again. I love you. No, I don't. Relationship you've ever had. It's the hokey pokey of fucking starbucks like are you gonna let me put it in or not what are you doing it's like i i literally like you know like you know i'm not a morning person i'm up early the other day like we're moving stuff around i'm just busting my ass and i wake up and i'm like

fucking groggy. And I'm like, the only thing I care about is getting this fucking Starbucks. And then, then I'll be okay. Yeah. I'll be all right. I'll drive to work. It'll kick in and the world will seem right again. The, you know, the birds will sing and I will not want to kill them for their joy. And like, I get there and it's the fucking paper sign on the goddamn drive-thru and it's like we're closed because fuck you and i i seriously and i'm not even making this up i i put my car in park and i just stared and i wanted to actually cry i was like i you don't know how much i need this guy it's like i can't you know what was my my first world uh annoyance was the other day we were at home because that's what you do now. And the power went out for a couple hours.

And I mean, it's kind of boring just being at home all the time. It's real boring when the power goes out. It's super duper boring. Now we had devices, you know, we were sitting on our devices or whatever, but it was also dark. So we had to like, you know, you're just sitting in the dark, essentially in the dark, waiting for the lights to come on. Just like, like literally counting the seconds of your life waiting inside. And that's what I've been doing since March anyway. But it's just this, you're just like, oh God. You're like a caveman without a candle at that point.

God, it's the worst. It's the worst. So did you see this week? I want to talk a little bit about Trump before we get started. All right. Did you see a couple of things this week? Did you see Nancy Pelosi call Trump morbidly obese on Anderson Cooper? Was she saying absolutely objectively

true things? I should play it. I'm just going to play it. I'm going to play it because it's so good. As far as the president is concerned, he's our president and I would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists,

especially in his age group and in his, shall we say, weight group, what is morbidly obese, let's say. I love it. She's like his weight group. And then she's like, that's not enough. Yeah, no. Morbidly obese. And I, you know, I want to, I want to, I want to talk a little bit about this because there was a pushback from people saying, is this what discourse has come to in our politics? And then there was pushback saying, you shouldn't weight shame people.

And I would agree for normally any other human being. But look at how awful Trump is to everybody else talking about their mental acuity, talking about their weight, talking about who they've had sex with and who they haven't had sex with. I mean- Whether you're bleeding down theirs and- I mean, he has been absolutely the worst person in the world to talk about other people. And so when it comes time for him to get a little bit of his own medicine, we shouldn't go run screaming and saying, we need to make sure everybody is is uh you know protected here dude that's also a clinical term that's accurate it's accurate for his fucking height and weight there's no way that if you run a bmi on fucking donald trump that he's not in the morbidly obese

category that's a fucking actual so like i don't think that's name calling he calls people fucking fat pigs like is that like the idea that like is that what discourses comes like this discourse is there already we have nothing to gain by like sitting back and being like let's all be civilized while the other guy's fucking trouncing mud through our fucking mansion and shitting on fucking laying upper deckers in our toilet yeah well one of the one of the things that, that you're absolutely right. She is calling him out for using hydrochloroquine, which is what he said to everybody. I don't even know if he's using it, right? Like there's no way to know he's, he's lying or not. You don't know. I fucking hope he is. You don't know, but he said he's using hydrochloroquine prophylactically to prevent coronavirus. So he said this on TV when

he was questioned and a bunch of people started asking questions and immediately he's like, I use it, I use it. He started pushing back. And so he said that he's using it. Well, with that comes a lot of crazy side effects. Paranoia was one of them. Huh, that's weird. And then how would you know?

If he was paranoid. Exactly. That's exactly it. What would you change? I mean, like if somebody was like, well, side effects include, you'll be fat. I'll be like, well, I'm already paranoid. Exactly. That's exactly it. What would you change? I mean, like, if somebody was like, side effects include, you'll be fat. I'll be like, well, I'm already fat. Side effects include.

Like, how would I know the difference? Side effects include, it looks like someone killed a pelt and put it on your head. Oh my God. He's got the craziest side effects. No, but seriously, like, that's why is that, you know,

there's serious side effects to come with it. And he shouldn't be, you know, he is in a class of people that, you know, through no fault of their own are more susceptible to this disease. Right. So, you know, so, so there's a, you're right. She called out an absolutely clinical term on him. Now it's funny. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's funny, but it's funny. Cause you know, he's going to be sensitive about it and he's mean to everybody. It's funny, but it's funny because, you know, he's going to be sensitive about it and he's mean to everybody.

It's funny the same way, like beating up the schoolyard bully is funny. Sorry. That's funny. Like when somebody like makes their day beating people up and then later they get beat up. That's just hilarious because ha ha. You know, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like comeuppance is fair

it's like why there's like a justice porn subreddit yeah cause that shit is mmm delicious there was a lot of pushback this week

and I just don't get it I think you're right I think you're you know it's something I hadn't considered with the with the correct terminology

but then also even if it's not correct if she was like yeah cause he's a fucking lard ass it doesn't matter right because he's

you know like he's a shit all the time to everybody. He's like, he makes up pejoratives and fucking mean-spirited nicknames for all of his enemies, right? He mocked a disabled person. He uses racist, what do you call it, Elizabeth Warren, Pocahontas. Yes.

Like, he's like openly, like, racistly calling people out. Like, the idea that somebody would like categorize him with a medically accurate description of his height and weight ratio. And that's like, well, we really don't want to say mean things about the meanies. Yeah.

Like I wouldn't mind if she was like, well, he's probably going to die because he is a fatty boom baddie. I'd have been like, yeah, he's a fatty boom baddie. Fatty, fatty boom baddie. I would have been on board with that. Oh man. If she would have been on board with that.

Oh, man. If she would have jumped up to him just like that guy in fucking airplane was like, and Trump is getting larger and then jumped off and she grabbed his belly. That'd be amazing. Amazing. Do you think he's taking hydroxychloroquine? I don't know.

I hope to God that he's taking it. I love the idea that he's taking something unproven to treat a disease in order to also prevent a disease. But it's prophylaxis. It doesn't even make any sense. He doesn't understand the difference between prophylaxis and treatment. And like, it's not good for either one. But it hasn't even been like preliminarily studied as a prophylaxis. So like, I love that idea because it's just like, he's just like, I don't know how any of this

works. I'd take a bite. Like I saw the one thing, he's like, it's just a little pill. It's like, well, most medicines are just a little pill. That's how pills work. What do you think? Like the bigger pills are more much serious-er? Newsflash, it's also a little

virus too. Right. Yeah, right. Exactly. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Like, the virus is even smaller than the pill, you dumb motherfucker. Like, oh, I can't get coronavirus. I didn't swallow any coronas. Yeah. The virus is small.

The pill is small. And it turns out that's the only correlation between those two things. God. Because it certainly isn't curing or preventing anything. Yeah. Here's the cyanide capsule, you dumb motherfucker. Oh, gosh. Well, and then also this week,

it came out that he is not going to be unveiling Obama's portrait. It's a tradition that they've had since Carter. So 40 years, they've been having- They also used to show off their IRS statements for a long time. I know, yeah. We break with tradition sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes, yeah, I guess the previous administrations also didn't get foreign government's help either. So there's some things that we've changed along the way. It's a new world. It's been a weird road. But yeah, they're not going to be unveiling it. And one of the things that just,

and it's because he doesn't like Obama and maybe because he's racist too, but it's certainly because he doesn't like Obama. That's probably why he doesn't like Obama. I would imagine both of those things dip heavily into each other. But one of the things that just blows me away about this is the idea that I know people that voted for Trump and still like Trump, right? I know people who do. And I see how he acts petulant, childish, just bitchy, and just in such a way that is so unpresidential and so worthy of contempt. And I see how he acts. And I know that those people who voted for him don't act like that, right?

They're not like that. But they see this guy do this and then they somehow think that he's still their guy. And I got to say, if there was any of that sort of thing coming from my side, I would hope that I would be the first person to say, no, what is wrong with you? Why are you, why you're doing that? I mean, I hated George W. Bush. I hated him, but Obama still had him at the white house and did his portrait and said,

the presidency transcends our differences, right? You know, he, he had a conversation and a dialogue with him and, and honored him at the white house. Instead, you have Trump, with him and honored him at the White House. Instead, you have Trump who's so childish that he won't do this. And I wonder how those people out in the world can still be like, this is my guy. He's like, you have to excuse a level of just pettiness. Yeah. Just like, just pointless, non-policy related, mean-spirited pettiness. You just have to excuse that. Or, Cecil, you have to genuinely believe that Obamagate, which is an ill-defined term, which means,

ah, I don't want to lose the next election. Like, you have to believe that Obamagate is a thing. Like, you have to believe that Obama was this horrifying monster of a human being. I think that's the only... Yeah, I guess maybe that's it. I guess that's the other, because if Obama's really a villain, fuck them. Yeah. And also today, by the way, Trump visited the Ford plant. This is, we're recording this on Thursday. He visited the Ford plant where they're building ventilators and he wouldn't wear a, uh, a mask on camera, but he said he wore one earlier. And he's not wearing those masks because of the optics.

And that's why Pence wasn't wearing those masks. Because I'll tell you what, if I was a fucking Democrat and I was running against him, there's no picture I wouldn't show of Trump without that mask on. And there's no picture I wouldn't show of Pence without that mask on.

And they recognize, there's that same, for the same reason the Democrats right now want him to lower the flags to half-mask. And he said, I preliminarily agreed to do this, but they want a picture of those

flags at half-mask with nobody around those flags during the quarantine so they can use that during the election season. Because they're going to use that for optics to say, look at the fucking, look at what happened. What's amazing though is like, it's working. Like not wearing the mask is working optically. Like I was, I had a doctor's appointment today. I was, I was in the waiting room. There's two other guys in the waiting room, right? And we're all standing, you know, 12 fucking feet apart and we're all wearing masks

except for one fucking knucklehead. And there's MSNBC is on, which granted MSNBC is far left-leaning news, right? For sure. So MSNBC is on on TV. And there's this fucking knucklehead Cecil. And he's got his mask. And he's got it like it's a paper mask. And he's got to pull down all the way to his top lip.

His nose totally exposed. And he's just sitting there. And he's fucking yammering at the TV. And like, he's like, oh, MSNBC. All right. Well, if it's on MSNBC, you know, it must be true. And nobody's talking to this guy. Like he's just, he's just baiting people. Right. And so like, I don't say anything. And this other guy stands there and doesn't say anything. And then like the reporter comes on and the reporter's talking into the camera and the reporter's wearing a fucking mask. Right. And the reporter is

clearly like out and about. And he's like, oh, wearing a mask. I'm sure he's got to be wearing that mask. He's not six feet. Like he's, he's, he's can't be like with the six feet of somebody. His masks are just bullshit. These masks don't do anything. This is all just overblown. This is all just made up. And this is a guy sitting in the fucking doctor's office, like, with a mask because he knows he has to have one or they won't let him in, you know, but he's just like wearing it just barely, just the fucking

littlest bit he can. There are still, like, so many people that don't believe this is happening. Like, that don't believe, like, that 94,000 people in Illinois are sick. Like, confirmed. Yeah. There are still people that don't believe 100,000 people

have died just in America alone. Like, there are people that don't think this is happening right now. And, like, I don't get it. Like, do, like, do they think that, like, every governor across 50 states shut the economy down and put 40 million people out of work just on a whimsy? Yeah.

Like, it's amazing. It's amazing to think, like, that the CDC and the WHO and, like, every reputable news source, every single reputable news source is reporting almost exclusively every day just on this pandemic and its effects locally and worldwide. And then you still have people who look at the leader. And if the leader's not wearing a mask, then Cecil, the mask is bullshit. And if it's bullshit, then the guy in charge is saying it's bullshit. Then you know who's to blame when I'm out of work. It's not that guy who's also not wearing a mask. It's my governor. Yeah. It's the Democrats. It's the, you know, it's the deep state CDC, right? The CDC is now lumped into the deep state, Cecil. The fucking CDC is now lumped into

the deep state conspiracy shit. Yeah. It's like, it's just, like what's blowing my mind is like, it's working. Yeah. I can't, it shouldn't work, man. Like it shouldn't work. Like we should be smart enough to see through this. We sell sex dolls, female dolls, male dolls, and then smaller toys as well.

We have feet that you can also, they have like vaginas in the, where the ankles would be. So imagine you cut them off at the ankles and then there's vaginas in that part. Do you think of someday expanding your business to have other body parts with vaginas that you can f*** in them?

So this story comes from the LA Times. South Korean soccer team fined for using sex dolls in place of fans in empty stadium. This story is exactly what it sounds like, guys. Like, lest you think that there is like a lot more nuance to this story. There is not much more nuance to this story. Like, they put sex dolls in the stands to make it look like there was like

fans blow up sex dolls and they're like holding up signs. Like, I fucking love it because they're like

holding up signs and shit. They got sides. They have fucking, these ones have hair. Like, these are, these are high-end

sex dolls. These are not. These are, you're right, Cecil. I was mistaken. These are not shitty blow up like, you know, novelty store sex dolls. These are not. These are, you're right, Cecil. I was mistaken. These are not shitty blow up, like, you know, novelty store sex dolls. These are like Heath Enright reproductive mates.

These are absolutely really expensive sex dolls. And if some people are making fun of, I'm making fun of sex dolls here. I mean, fuck, your hand is a crudely drawn sex doll. I mean, let's be real honest. Like, okay. I draw those little Ziploc guys on my fingers before I go to town. I draw a little hand like the old-timey ones where you move your...

You know what I'm talking about, Tom, where you hold your hand with a fist and then you paint lips. Oh, big boy. You paint lips on your thumb and your index finger. And then, hello. Looks like somebody's lonely.

Open wide. I fucking love this. Like, one of the things that is entertaining as hell about the pandemic is like, all the like half-ass, and we're going to talk about a bunch of is like all the like half-ass, we're going to talk about a bunch of them, like the crazy half-ass solutions to like, well,

we want the world to look like it's not a pandemic. So put like seven sex dolls in a stadium that holds like 30,000 people. But like, cause he would like, if there were seven people there, you would be like, well, that's just sad.

But seven sex dolls, that's just sad. But seven sextiles? Seven sextiles, that's a party. There is actually nothing. Sextiles are one of the only things that actually is lonelier the more of them there are. Like, it's just. The one thing I wonder about this is, like, why they put masks on them. Like, it's either A, to show solidarity with the people at home, or it's to

cover their O face. It's one or the other, and I don't know which one it is. But there's masks on each one. It's like, well, we don't want them to look like what they are. I like that they couldn't even use mannequins, because mannequins don't bend into the seat, right? Yeah, mannequins don't bend into the seat. You know, it occurs to me, Tom,

with their face in sort of an O position is that they could be screaming, goal! So that would make sense. That would actually fit. You know what I would love more than anything in the world

to see, Cecil? I would love to see an entire stadium filled with Gary. Just all, just standing there, open mouth, screaming in silence.

Gary's whole family because that's a line of mannequins. A line of manne in silence. Gary's whole family because that's a line of mannequins. A line of mannequins is Gary's whole family. Is there any better mascot for the pandemic

than a silent scream into the void? Yeah, you know, what's funny is Gary is scary as he is. Gary's a terrifying individual. But Gary would be a thousand times scarier if he was poseable.

Like, he would be a thousand times scarier. Because right now, he's well, actually, Gary had an accident this week. I went to move him. I picked him up to move him. And he literally fell apart. I have to figure out how to put him back together. But his torso

is 100% not connected to the rest of him anymore. And so now I have to figure out, I have to figure out how to fix Gary. I'm actually, it's going to be one or two things.

Either we fix Gary completely or we just use his torso from now on. I don't know what it's going to be. But Gary's- All I care about is that we never

get a new Gary. Yeah. That we just keep- Like I want him to have a fucking eye patch and duct tape. If you don't know who Gary is, you have to go to our website DissidencePod.com. Actually, the front

picture on our website, the hero image, when you load up our website, you will see Gary as our mannequin. He stands in between us. DissidencePod.com. You can see him if you're not familiar with who Gary is, but that's who it is. Did you see the UFC the other day? Did you watch the UFC? No, I did not. No, I read about it. Free UFC the other day. Nobody in the audience. They did three of them already down in Jacksonville because Jacksonville's allowing these things to happen.

And they did three in a row where there's nobody in the audience, but the sport still happens. where there's nobody in the audience, but the sports still happens. And I got to say, I fucking sat here the other night, watched the UFC. I haven't seen a lot of sports recently. Yeah. I watched the Michael Jordan documentary,

the Bulls documentary, and that was great. But then I haven't had a chance to watch anything really sports related. And I'm a sports fan. And this was on. And I had a great time just watching it. It's really weird for them to be in a completely silent ring. And then all the announcers are all six feet

away from each other and they're all, but they all do a split screen. So they look like they're next to each other. And so it's, but it was great. Like, but I think that that we're going to see more sports do that. Cause they're going to want to fire up a couple of these sports that took breaks that just decided to take a break. They're going to fire those back up. And they're going to figure out a way to make it. Yeah, they're going to quarantine all the players. Yeah, they're going to figure out a way to either quarantine the players

or they're going to figure out a way to just be like, well, you get tested every game. And, you know, hopefully we don't see a giant spike of this go through our athletes. It's different with players in the NBA than it is with the UFC, because UFC, you don't fight every day. You fight every six months. So with them, you could feasibly show up, get the coronavirus and not infect anybody else around you, essentially. But if you played every day, then you could then infect the next team and the next team and the next team. So there's definitely some thought that needs to go into that

that's different from how the UFC handles stuff. What is 5G? It's a super fast network that runs through the air. You know what else goes through the air? Coronavirus. What else goes through the air? Superman. And what burger did I eat

while watching the last Superman movie? Five guys, five guys, 5G. I rest my case. All right, so this story comes from Ars Technica. Cell tower attacks by idiots who claim 5G spreads COVID-19 reportedly hit US. So we had covered this a while back when this was happening in the UK. And this is based on a bullshit internet conspiracy theory that like 5G is a kind of special radiation that makes you particularly susceptible to the coronavirus and that if we have 5g cell towers that we will have like clusters of

like we'll just have more susceptibility to coronavirus but would you that's just that's what's gonna happen would you have four fifths of it with 4G like that's the it's like that's a Trump thing right it's like 5 is more than 4 5 is to more G's you need more G's the problem with your phone see is there's not enough G's when you start up your phone maybe you had 3 that was years ago

good not great better is 4 I don't know if you heard the song but it's nothing but a G thing baby that was about coronavirus. You get the first cell phone. That was OG. That was good. Not great. Not going to lie. Put it in a bag. Very big. Zach Morris and I both had them. Loved them. Yeah, no, man. This is so stupid. These people are now they're like actually like going after. I saw stories where they're going after people that are, that are on the towers too. And like servicing them. Yeah, man. You're, you know, we're, we're in this, in this weird place where there's so much disinformation out there where people who are even people who are, you would think thinking people I'm seeing on my

Facebook feed, people that have friended me from the show and I'm seeing, you know, RFID stuff where they're talking about vaccines and RFIDs. And I'm just like, what is RFID? I don't know, but it has to do with Bill Gates, RFID and vaccines. And one of the things that just blows me away with that idea is just like, motherfucker, do you carry a cell phone? Because let me tell you, you don't need anything in your blood to be an RFID chip for you

if you carry a cell phone. If you voluntarily carry a cell phone places, they know where you're at. They know what you like. They know what you look at. They know what, I mean,

there's so many times that I will see something on my, I will see something on my, I will type something on my fucking computer. Like I'm looking for, I saw a guy recently on this TV show, a cooking show I watch, have a knife. And it was an interesting looking knife.

It was like a half cleaver. And I was wondering what the kind of knife that was. So I typed in half cleaver and did some searching and I came up with it. It's a Japanese style knife that has a blunted end for vegetables. So it has a blunted, no point, but it's a sharp knife with bevels in it and you use it to cut vegetables. So it's like a Santoku, but it's a little different. And I had never seen one before. And so I found out the name of the knife and I typed it in and I typed it into the browser. Within seconds, my Facebook feed,

when I went to look at my phone, was all knife ads. Every single one of them was knife ads. So they don't need to go in my blood to know what's going on in my mind. They just need to know all I have to do is type five things in a computer and it will fucking tailor my ads for months now. Yeah. You, we tell them what's going on in our mind every day, every single day we tell our phone exam and then our phone does not keep it to itself. No, our phone is like, this is what Tom is interested in. Like, can you think of anything more intimate at this point than your search history. Right. Your search history tells like, like I would, like you could have, you could read every text,

but like the most intimate thing you can have from somebody is their search history. You know what they're worried about. You know, their fucking medical, like curiosities, you know,

like, like you will, you'll know, you'll know everything about somebody. Sure. From a download and a reference. I mean, if you looked at mine, you would know, is somebody. Sure. From a download and a reference of their fucking search history. I mean, if you looked at mine, you would know, is pus leaking out of your penis bad?

I type that in a lot. Soft yes. I haven't gotten a good answer from an MD yet. Not one that I like. And when I get one that I like and I pull it from the head, I'll use that one. Yeah, you're absolutely right, though. You're 100% right.

And you type that willingly into a computer. So the idea that you're absolutely right, though. You're 100% right. And you type that willingly into a computer. So the idea that you're so fucking terrified that someone's going to put an RFID chip in it. Do you remember when they fucking first came out with the iPass? For people who don't know what the iPass is, iPass is a way to pay for your fucking tolls in Illinois because we fucking can't pay for our own roads. You got to keep paying.

It's like a fucking, we have a fucking rent-to-buy system with roads. It's a fucking rent-a-center of roads in Illinois. There's like five fucking tollways. It is because you never pay it off. Yeah, you never pay it off. It's rent-a-center. It's fucking rent-a-center. We, nobody could afford the TV, but we all wanted the TV.

And so we went to rent-a-center. We got the stupid TV and now we're paying it off until the end of time. Yeah, we'll be buried in the TV. Exactly. And that's exactly what's happening. These fucking roads. And there's so many of them. And they're a fucking arm and a leg to travel down, right? They're not cheap at all. And so the fucking...

We have this thing that makes it easier. And basically what they did was they... And I don't know how many states have. I know the multi-Midwest state area all takes ours, our version of this RFID chip to pay for the toll, but I don't know how far it goes in all directions. And I don't know what states have and don't have it. But I will say that this little chip allows you to drive through the toll rather than stop at the toll right so you normally have to stop and pay either credit card or um or change or dollars or whatever talk to a human

being imagine throwing enough change into that they don't even have them now just be like hucking handfuls of quarters they don't even have those people now because they said it because of covid like they just they just bill you now so they don't even have the, all the big scare back in the day of like they know where I'm going to be is 100% because they take a photo of your license plate as you go through and they keep that data to know where you're at. But I remember everybody was saying,

oh man, they're going to know where I'm at. And I was wondering, I'm like, well, who cares? So what? So I drove. They're not going to mine that data for you. Like who cares if they know where you're at? Like, what are you doing that requires,

I should know what's happening in your life if that's going to scare you. We should be a little more open with each other to know why you're afraid that people know where you're at. I never understood it. It's funny though, because like, there's like a, there definitely is a trade-off where we sacrifice little amounts of privacy and liberty in order to have different conveniences. Sure, absolutely.

And like, and like, I think, I think what you're, what you're pointing out with the iPass thing was like, that was kind of like, ah, you know, like, eh, we're going to give it to them. They're going to know where we were. Oh, Tom was on I-88 at like 8.42 a.m. And it's like, all right, that's not that is not useful information for anyone. That's an alibi if somebody

accuses me of murder, maybe. That could work in my favor, right? Like, okay, all right. And it's funny because like there was this fucking giant uproar about that right and then like then we all got cell phones and we really like our phone and our phone does so much more data mining of like vastly more intimate information and we and we give it away for free and we know that bad actors use it and we're all just like for free and we know that bad actors use it and we're all just

like yeah but I like words with friends I like yeah we're just like well I like that part and then it's like well the vaccines are gonna have RFID chips it's like well you just you're just mad because you're not getting enough for your money

yeah that's what you're but like you're not getting enough for your money you're getting a vaccine yeah and the vaccines will not have RFID chips because it's stupid there's no reason to put them in you you'll carry one willingly around with you exactly it's just like we're just so we are so fucking stupid like we're gonna have a hard time building better technology because idiots are afraid and it's like the only thing that's going to get us out of this mess is technology.

Yep. That's going to be the thing that saves you. There's no world where it's going to be like, well, maybe if we didn't innovate, we would have a solution. If these fucking people won't even wear a mask,

do you think that they'll do anything technological? Oh my God. That's true. That's true. Because like right now, we're doing the same thing they did in 1918.

Yeah. We're literally engaging we're literally engaging until a vaccine comes along. We are literally engaging in the exact same methodologies that we did 102 years ago. We're, we're wearing masks, we're practicing social distancing and we're, you know, putting the poor into poverty even further. That's like what we do. That's our pandemic plan. What about poor people? I don't know. Fuck them. That's pandemic time. Pandemic. That's it. I tried to clean my ass in the middle of the night with the hose in the driveway and I went

viral. Okay. Let's call it. Henriette and Nan, we don't need you to be on any Zoom calls. Thank God. Thank God. Oh, wonderful. Thank God. Hey, does anybody know where I can find Nan's hoes video?

Yeah, I'll send it to everybody. Cecil, been on a lot of Zoom and teleconference calls recently? I think everybody has. Who am I? I think everybody has. You know, it's amazing how ubiquitous this has become. This next story is like, this is some fucking 1984 shit.

It so is. Because the level of like... It so is. Disconnect from humanity is so deep. Yeah. Man sentenced to death in Singapore on Zoom call.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Yeah, they said that they're going to hang him because he was he was dealing drugs once they deliver the verdict David Caruso puts on his glasses he's like looks like they just hung up

yeah oh man on a zoom call it's like look me in the fucking eye like, look me in the fucking eye. Okay. Just look me in the webcam. All right, Tom. Tom, question for you.

What's worse? Getting broken up with over text or being sentenced to death via Zoom call? Which is worse? You know, being broken up with over instant messenger or losing your life. Do they put you in a... Now, I got to ask, too. In Zoom, do they put you in a breakout room when they kill you?

Do they, like... Do they put you on the side? Oh, my God. It would be kind of amazing if they just killed the guy with a drone. They just, like... It's just everything the guy with a drone. They just like, just everything about it. Like it's just everything. His computer just slaps,

just snaps on his head like a bear trap and kills him. Like that's what we have nowadays. Just sentient beasts that sit in front of you. And the moment someone decides, they're like, sorry, you've been sentenced to death via zoom call it just comes to life and bites their face off

chop chop chop chop chop chop chop or like another like if they'd be like okay um we got him on a trap door that just like drops him into like the fucking pit like the sarlacc pit or whatever it's just

oh my god I hit the wrong button. I trapped Orton. I trapped Orton. I meant to mute him. Oh man. Why did they put those two buttons next to each other? Doesn't even make any sense. I didn't need that button for this call. They should have put one button on one side

and one on the other for both of those. Don't put the mute next to the trap door. That's stupid. Singapore is not fucking around, man. Here in Illinois, our courthouses aren't even open. Our courthouses are closed. You can't... We're just like, eh.

We'll get to you. I'll tell you what, though. They're just still moving on. They're like, no, we're going to do it. We're going to keep going. I wonder too. We're not going to not kill somebody because of a pandemic. Come on, guys.

That would be... We're going to have UFC. I wonder too. We're not going to not kill somebody because of a pandemic. Come on, guys. That would be. We're going to have UFC with nobody in the crowd and we're going to kill people over Zoom. We are not stopping things for this virus. That's all I'm saying. Well, I love that we're not stopping the violent thing.

Yeah, exactly. Like we're just like, we will have our pound of flesh. God damn it. I wonder if they, I wonder if they had like a paid copy or if they had to use the free trial. Trial version.

Trial. Because it's a court. Anyway. Wouldn't it be great if he got sentenced to death because he just didn't read the terms and conditions page when he downloaded Zoom? He said yes. He checked yes to getting hanged.

Oh, I never should have agreed to that without reading it. Oh my God. This is so stupid. I just thought it was another pop-up. What the fuck? Now they're going to know exactly where I'm hanged because I have an RFID chip inside my vaccines. Whatever street she's walking down,

everybody turns around and says, so this story comes from the new york post and may or may not even be real it's just fucking absurd so i thought it was great um i'm gonna read it hot nurse discipline for wearing bra and panties under see-through ppe. And I just love the way they wrote this. Oh yeah. This naughty nurse is going viral. This is such an old man's paper. Like when you read this, it is such an old man. Like I almost expect to see a fucking gif

of this nurse getting chased by Benny Hill with yackety sacks in the background. Like, I mean, dead serious. It is, the way this is mean, dead serious. The way this is written, hot nurse disciplined. You're just like, okay. Okay. Calm down. Somebody's clicking on a banner ad. Calm down, buddy.

Calm down. A nurse in Russia was suspended from the hospital where she worked in Tula, 100 miles south of Moscow when she arrived at her shift in the all-male coronavirus patient wing with no clothing save for her skivvies under her transparent PPE. Those guys are having a hard enough time breathing. Like, you don't need to get them all excited and worked up.

They're all fanning themselves trying to get more oxygen. The unidentified staffer told her managers at Tula Regional Clinical Hospital that she was too hot to wear clothing underneath the head to toe vinyl gown. That does not work for me, by the way, when I go out in public naked. Sorry, I was warm. I'm like, that's a little warm. Yeah, whatever. Look, I know I'm at the grocery store, sir.

Whatever. Why do you think I'm standing in the freezer aisle? It was hot. Air conditioner broke. I'm standing in the freezer aisle? It was hot, air conditioner broke, I'm just airing out the junk. The incident was first reported by a local news outlet that I don't care about. While there were reportedly, quote, no complaints from her patients, hospital...

No complaints. It's like, if you're gonna die, it's like, eh, you know what, like, maybe the view should be improved. I'm saying like maybe all right hospital chiefs punished the nearly nude nurse for non-compliance i love the alliteration with the requirements for medical clothing the nurse claimed she did not realize that her underwear was showing through the PPE. Oh, come on. Come the fuck on. She's basically not dressed any more scantily clad than

every Halloween costume ever. Oh, right. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, yeah. The naughty nurse Halloween costume at Spirit Halloween is far more revealing than this. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I've seen many Halloween costumes that are more revealing than this. It looks like she's,

it looks like, you know, like she's wearing what looks like maybe swimsuit bottoms or, you can't see the back so you don't know what's going on in the back there, but it looked like swimsuit bottoms

and maybe a sports bra. That's kind of, it's not that risque at all. It doesn't really look that risque. I mean, you know, you could probably easily see this level of skin at any CrossFit.

Yeah. Yeah. Actually, that's, that's a hundred percent true. Yeah. Go to of skin at any CrossFit. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, that's 100% true. Yeah. Go to any CrossFit gym. This is like more than they're wearing and working out for sure. This is more than you'd see at the beach. Yeah, absolutely.

Also, she's wearing a giant fucking raincoat over it. Like the PPE. Who's like, yeah, yeah baby take it off then put on a tarp that's what I like to see a shapeless colorless tarp I love it when they take off they put on their little lingerie

and then they put the tarp over the tarp is called the sleaze guard actually it's convenient that she wears the pee because then you can just lay that down oil the whole thing up and you got your it's like a fucking mattress protector you're carrying with you squirting right out of there just point it right out of there well welcome back to the last part of our online worship experience from St. Buda Parish Church. The last section we call Waiting. And it's a great thing to pause in the presence of God and to ask the question,

Lord God, what are you saying to us? And then, of course, to wait for an answer. I've just been pausing between these... Oh, dear, I've just caught fire. Oh, my word. This story comes from... Hmm. I found another one from HuffPo underneath.

Okay, the story comes from HuffPo. Yeah, because I saw that one and I was like, is that true? Well, at least HuffPo is going to kind of be true. I don't know. Right. Well, at least HuffPo is going to kind of be true. I don't know. Right.

Pastor who claimed to cure coronavirus with faith dies of coronavirus. He gave all his faith to other people, Tom. That's what happened is he gave it all away and then he died. I should have saved some of that faith. Damn it. I should have taken prophylactic faith. I should have kept the faith.

Yeah. Well, have kept the faith. Yeah. Well, George Michael's safe. God damn it. I know he's not. No, he's not. No, he's not. He's definitely not. That joke didn't land.

Yeah. A pastor and former presidential candidate, McCameroon, who claimed he had cured coronavirus via laying hands, has reportedly died of the infection. It might not have been a good idea to touch people. He should have laid hands through Zoom calls.

It would have been so much more safe. He should have been like, can you imagine how great this would be right now to be a fucking bullshit artist Reiki healer? Oh my gosh. You're like, oh. Like, I know you can't go to like the regular doctor or the movies or get a massage or enjoy your life. But I can get on Zoom and touch your fucking Zoom energy. Oogity boogity boogity boo.

Oh my gosh. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see this last week? One of the pastors or priests in New York was shooting holy water with a squirt gun at people. Did you see this last week? One of the pastors or priests in New York was shooting holy water with a squirt gun at people.

Did you see this? I did not. That's amazing. He was in a mask and his full-on like, mawage is what brings us together today, Garb. And he's like, pew, pew, pew, shooting fucking. It was amazing. So I want to read part of this.

It says, according to the BBC, this guy's family and followers had planned to contest the death ruling and keep his body for his resurrection. You could just do that? You could just say, you know what? He's just a little bit dead. Could I trade it in for,

maybe get a couple of dead ones and trade it for a live one? Like, is that, could I just, is it like trading ones with the cashier for a $2 bill for your crappy $1 bill? Is that what that's like? What is it, son? I don't know, sir. But it looks like a giant dick. Yeah.

Take a look at a starboard. Oh, my God. It looks like a huge pecker oh wow wait that's not a wood peckery looks like someone's private we have reports of an unidentified flying object it is a long smooth shaft complete with two balls this story just makes me happy cecil this is from the county gazette yeah if you can't have fun now, then forget it. You know, police discovered giant penis moan into West Cornwall Field. Cornhole Field?

What's that? It's a... Police hunting a suspect with a drone were shocked to capture images of a giant penis plowed into a field. Like... were shocked to capture images of a giant penis plowed into a field. Like, you got to just, you know, more than anything else, I don't want to be a journalist, but what I do want to do is have journalists give me their stories to write the color for them. No kidding, right?

I was surprised they didn't put in here, well, there's grass on the field, play ball. You know, I figured that would have made its way in here somewhere. Officers stumbled across the rude,allus shaped design which they say caught them completely by surprise it's crude but not rude come on and i well i read that i thought like that's because and and guys listen up a surprise dick pic is always rude it doesn't matter how you send it that's true true. Nobody wants that. So true, man. The Devon and Cornwall

Police drone team shared the image on social media, which has since gone viral. I love it. Like, oh my. Take a picture and share it on social media.

Take a picture and share it on Facebook. And it is what it is. It's just a giant fucking dong that somebody mowed into the field. Like, if I had a field

and didn't mow a giant dong into it, I feel like that would be irresponsible. Right? Exactly. Like you feel like you would almost have to do that at least once. And now's a perfect time to do it. You got plenty of time on your hands. There's no chance that if you give me harvesting equipment,

that I am not drawing fucking rude shapes with harvest gear. I think it would be hilarious. You know how those guys did all those, they faked all those circles, the crop circles or whatever? Oh my God. I think it would be awesome if you went into fields

and faked this with big giant dicks where you crop circled giant dicks in there, but instead of using planks, you got to use those big monster dildos from adamandeve.com

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Okay, back to the show. Pinch of a hut! Buy off of Code Gloria. Check out at AdamandEve.com. Okay, back to the show. Picture the hut. Well, if it isn't Lone Star and his sidekick, Puke. That's barf. Barf, Puke, whatever. Where's my money? So this is just weird. This is from foodandwine.com.

And I've actually seen this and versions of this in a couple of different places. Trying to support a local pizza joint just to make sure it isn't actually Chuck E. Cheese. So like, here's the thing.

Like, there are giant chain and like in this case, like literally the worst chain possible. The lowest quality pizza. Can you actually think of a lower quality pizza than Chuck E. Cheese? My kids fucking love. CeCe is so funny that you say that.

My kids, that's our ordering pizza place. Shut up. No way. Really? Yeah. It's so funny that you say that. Yeah. We order pizza from CeCe's and I love CeCe's because I can order a pizza for both of the boys.

Like all three boys eat pizza, right? And I do it frequently every other Friday. So I order pizza and you can get two large pizzas from CeCe's for like $11 or something. It's so cheap. It's like, you can't afford not to buy it. It's so fucking cheap. And it arrives and the kids have no palate.

So they have no idea that they're eating like cardboard and grease and ketchup. That is the- And like plumber's cock. So I used to hang out. It's the worst tub. It's so bad. Every Tuesday night we game, right? So we're gaming.

It's my gaming group. And they decide- We used to go to a restaurant before this. Someone would come home and then we like, cause you'd always waiting for somebody to get home to open a door so that you could go into somebody's house. Right. So that's where, cause we'd always congregate at somebody's house. And so beforehand we used to get together at like five o'clock in the evening and we'd have dinner and then we'd go game for a couple hours and then we'd all leave. Well, we were doing it at this local restaurant in a town called Plainfield. And the restaurant was a greasy spoon, you know, golden pancake or something it was called.

Something like that. You know, just one of those. It's like a basic, very simple restaurant. And everybody was fine with it. And then one week somebody said, hey, let's try CC's next week. And I remember being, I remember saying, I don't want to go to CC's because I'd never been to CC's before, but it did not look like a thing I wanted to do. And he said, look, it's like a buffet. You could, it's everything you want. At least the one by there was a buffet, I guess. I guess

they have a buffet there. I don't know, but it was a buffet. You paid, I think it was $5 and as much pizza you could eat. And so I show up next week and I got a piece of pizza. Because you're counting on that being pretty low. I got a piece of pizza and I took one bite of it. And I looked across the table at the guy who said, he's like, it's pretty good, right? And I said, no, this is the worst pizza I've ever eaten in my entire goddamn life.

It was seriously worse than when I was growing up and there was like pizza in the cafeteria at school. It was worse than that. And that pizza, you're not sure was actually cooked in an oven. You think maybe it was always this warm. It's just like, you're not sure if it was actually cooked at all. It's just, it was warmed up in the arm of a lunch lady. Exactly.

It's the worst. And that pizza was better. It had the little rabbit turd sausage on it back in the day. Like it's the worst. It's genuinely the worst and that pizza was better it had the little rabbit turd sausage on it back in the day like it's the worst it's genuinely the worst and I and I

I took a bite of this pizza and I said I cannot believe how bad this pizza is I literally I am incredulous to how bad this pizza was and the guy said

well it's only $5 and I said it's $5 that's overpaid I was like that's a full $5 overpaid for this pizza so here's the deal in the story.

Like, oh, I got to read you a tweet. I got to read you a tweet before we move on. Chuck E. Cheese. I got to read you a tweet. This is my favorite tweet. This was about Chuck E. Cheese. Hi, welcome to Chuck E. Cheese. Everything is visibly dirty and our mascot is a rat. Eat some pizza near a sneezing

child. Eat some pizza near a sneezing child. That is, if that isn't their fucking tagline. You have a giant rat. It's a giant rat. It's a rat though. Like nobody thought that through. Nobody was like, no, a mouse is bad for fucking a food service industry.

Well, it's funny because I never have thought of Chuck E. Cheese. I always thought of the food as like an ancillary afterthought to the game. And I've always thought of Chuck E. Cheese actually as like the child version of off-the-strip bad casinos in Vegas. Oh, perfect. That's a perfect analogy. Absolutely. It's like everything, just like it's dirty fucking, you know, one-armed bandits everywhere. Absolutely. That's it. It's where people like go to chain

smoke and die. Yep. Yep. Absolutely. So I've always thought of like the food is like the consolation prize like you're there you gotta eat something it may like they were gonna force fit the idea that somebody would order in chucky cheese literally has never occurred to me until like you start looking at grub hub and like these other deliveries you're like you would order that on purpose yeah yeah like on purpose you have other choices like going hungry

tonight or like slamming your head in a fucking van door until you were rendered unconscious like you could do that or you could eat chuckie cheese jesus well that they but the problem is that they tricked people that's why this is that's why this is crazy is because they called the the the uh the name of the restaurant pasquale's i guess but it turns out like that's the rat's middle name or something it's just it's it's like chucky pasquale cheese or something and they just took they're like yeah it's pasquale's and then they they did a reverse search to find out because somebody was like, this pizza tastes like Chuck E. Cheese. It's the worst. I thought I was

fucking paying for a fucking local restaurant and it's fucking Chuck E. Cheese. You open the box and start shitting yourself. You're like, that's Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah, it's just full of those fucking gross balls with boogers on them in there or whatever. You know what it's like?

The fucking ball pit. Jesus Christ. Nasty little fucks. Sneezing all over the place. God damn it. This is happening more and more. I've seen a bunch of articles where like big chain businesses are not being patronized as much.

And so they're, they're putting themselves up on these delivery services as different business names. Fuck that though. That's bullshit. You know, I don't want to, I don't want to fucking, if I want to get like support a local business, I want to order from, you know, like Henry the Ace delicious sandwiches. And I don't want to find out it's fucking Burger King.

You know what I mean? Like what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's a total bullshit, sneaky ass way to like prey on people's better instincts to support the little guy yeah it's a really fucking kind of shitty evil thing to do and then when it's all over the worst part is you ended up with chuck e cheese's pizza that you paid actual money for do i have proof no do i have articles no your mind is made up without any information. My mind is made up.

Good enough for me. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. Oregon Republicans nominate QAnon believer for U.S. Senate. Oh my God, is this Michelle Bachman's cousin or is this Michelle Bachman's cousin? Holy shit, I didn't notice it until you just said so. It's totally Michelle Bachman's cousin. It is Michelle O'Bachman.

That's who this is. It is Michelle O'Bachman's That's who this is. It is Michelle O'Bachman's cousin. Oh my God, look at that. Actually, like her name is actually kind of worse because like, not only do I not want to live in a world where Republicans are in charge. Right, sure. Nor do I want to live in a world

where like conspiracy theorists are in charge, but I don't want to live in a world where we unironically elect somebody named Joe Ray Perkins. Nobody named Joe Ray is ever going to be in charge of me for anything. If you named a business Joe Ray Perkins, it would be

a handy massage with hash browns. That's what it would be. Hash browns and a happy ending at Joe Ray Perkins. Come on down to joe ray perkins get some jerky and a jerk and biscuits and you provide the gravy but if it's lumpy we're kicking you out jesus christ god damn it safety standards you gotta run it through a sieve that That's why you do that. Get rid of all those lumps.

The thing that's crazy to me is that, do you think 15 years ago, I don't know if it's true or not, because like the Tea Party, now that I think back, the Tea Party was just as crazy as some of these people. As the QAnon? Yeah.

The Tea Party was just as crazy as some of these people. So I was going to say, how could this happen? right as a q and i oh the tea party was just as crazy as some of these people so i you know i was gonna say how could this happen and would this happen 15 years ago but yeah it would yeah it did yeah i think like the tea party really like 15 years ago but still like that's that's that's 12 years ago right yeah the tea party really like well i don't know isn't it 15 because it was well no you're probably right we had the tea party really like set the stage I don't know, isn't it 15? Because it was, well, no, you're probably right. The Tea Party really set the stage and primed the pump for all this crap.

The Tea Party, what the Tea Party really did, I think, is it let the crazy right-wing nutjob lunatics have a significant political voice because they proved that they could band together over a series

of like half-heartedly collected poor ideas and somehow coalesce into a political powerhouse. And none of those, none of those things that they were criticizing Barack Obama for were true or useful. A lot of them were racist. They had racist undertones or they were just patently false. I mean, you know, calling Barack Obama a communist is one of the funniest fucking things anybody could do. You're just like, he's not a communist. Holy shit. Communist. Are you crazy? People on the left don't even like Barack Obama. Right. Yeah. True communists are like, that man is a capitalist pig. Exactly. Everybody that's like far, far left is like, fuck Barack Obama.

Nobody is thinking, well, he was a centrist in their opinion. In a lot of ways, he was a centrist. He was a centrist in everybody's opinion. In a lot of opinions. So it's like, he's a centrist. It's like, yeah, of course he was farther left than your crazy right wing people. But that's easy. That's easy to be.

I am amazed. Not amazed. That's the wrong word. I'm not surprised. And amazed, like amazed, the word amazed sort of denotes that there is some amount of like shock and surprise. And I'm not there anymore. But I am like disheartened to a degree,

which I find astonishing. That like the fact that somebody holds like wildly, like horrifyingly, tragically, provably untrue information close to their heart is not in any way disqualified. Like the QAnon shit is so... It's not even like...

It's not like, oh, we have a difference of opinion and I think, you know, money should go to the middle class and they'll spend it and that'll create economic churn which will, you know, raise the boats for everybody. And you think if we give rich people money, they won't buy boats and stick it in the stock market like they do

every fucking year. Like, that's a difference. You can't even give credence to one side. I can't buy boats and stick it in the stock market like they do every fucking year. Like that's a difference. You can't even give credence to one side of the argument. I can't because it's a bullshit side. You can't even give them a boat. You can't even give them a, you're just like, no, your arm is stupid. It's stupid. That trickle down economics has been tried and tested. It doesn't work. It never was going to. It's so amazing. It was always a lie to give money to rich people. Exactly. Exactly. It was always a work. It never was going to. It's so amazing. It was always a lie to give money to rich people. Exactly. It was always a lie. You're never going to get either of us to be like, no, I can't. I can't. No, we can't. But anyway, I get

what you mean, though. I get what you mean, right? But QAnon, and she's not like maybe a little like, you know, like I'm kind of giving it some time. Like, here's some things that this woman has said. Quote, we're in this together. It's all for one.

So let's make it happen. As all of us Q people like to say, where we go one, we go all. I stand with President Trump. I stand with Q and the team. The squad. Thank you, Anons. And thank you, Patriots. And together we can save our republic.

There's only 100 senators. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. She's like, she could be 100. One of the most powerful people. She's not even in the House, man, where there's 432 of them. Like, she's in the fucking, she's potentially going to be in the house man where there's 432 of them like she's in the fucking she's

potentially going to be in the senate a more significantly more powerful and august body oregon senate seat either this is a united states senate seat right this isn't just a it isn't even that right this is a united states senator one in a hundred people in the United States. And, you know, what I hate about Q's marketing is, you know, you could say, I stand with Q and the squad, squad has a Q in it, team doesn't. What are you, an idiot?

What is wrong with you? Oh God. This makes me crazy though, that these people, they exist. That they exist and that they thrive in our political system. I mean, in fucking Illinois, you got a goddamn Nazi running. And don't get me wrong, all across the country, there's some Nazis running. I mean, let's be fucking real honest. But, you know, fucking Steve King is running in Iowa.

There's a fucking Nazi for you. Nazi, yeah. But, you know, you've got crazy people. You've got fucking blatant racists. Like, I mean, I just cannot believe at this point we're stuck with what we have. That somehow that is the best that we have to rule this nation. It's not. It's just a bunch of weirdos and racists.

How is that possible? And like, how did you get through this strainer? I don't even get it. I, they should like, like the thing is like the world is full of like incredible, bright, talented, multi-talented people. Like, like there's, there are, there's like, if you only need to five, 532 unbelievably talented people, that's actually, and you've, you have more than one generation of people to pick from. That's not even a difficult thing to do. Like the world is full of people who like, like Pete Buttigieg, right? Like, like him or lump him.

Like, you can't say he's not bright. Like, the guy speaks like eight languages and is like incredibly well-educated and is well-spoken. And like, you don't have to like him. You don't have to ever want to have voted for him. But you can't deny that like, okay, that's a guy who's real fucking smart. Just real fucking smart.

The thing is like, we created a democracy and I'm going to say like, I've become convinced that democracy is a bullshit system when democracy has no prerequisites for its leadership. Maybe the people should get to vote, but they shouldn't get to vote on just any old schmuck who raises their hand and says, well, golly, I'd like to be in charge. Let me tell you, their hand and says, well, golly, I'd like to be in charge. Man, let me tell you, like, maybe you should have to have a fucking degree in not being a goddamn idiot. I'd be way more happy right now if we were just doing it where everybody took a month

on, where it's like jury duty and you just got randomly selected. I'd be happier than the fucking leadership we currently have. At least then you'd at least feel some sort of gravity. Wouldn't you feel some gravity if they called on you and said, Tom, you're a Senator next month. And you'd be like, well, what the fuck? Oh my God. Yeah. Wouldn't you dedicate every moment of your life to that one month project? I know I would. I know I wouldn't want to be the guy in Wikipedia that was like, holy shit, that Cecil, what a terrible Senator he was for a month. holy shit, that's Cecil.

What a terrible senator he was for a month. I don't want to be that guy. Yeah, but you know, like, Cecil, like, first of all, like, I think a lot of people wouldn't do what you would do. Like, most people are just, I've just come around to the idea that, like, most people are just no fucking good, man.

And, like, maybe we shouldn't have built a system that, like, implicitly tries to pretend that all people are really equal, because it's not true. We're equal in terms of rights and respect, but we're not equally talented. We're just not. And we're not equally like, we don't all have the same level of intellect and experience and education. And maybe there needs to be some prerequisites. Maybe I'd rather live in an elitist world that's an actual meritocracy rather than a democracy. Because if this is what I get when you could just raise your hand and all the local yokels raise their hand and they're like, I'll take that Q supporter.

That's a person that shouldn't be immediately disqualified. What makes me crazy is like, I know I couldn't run because I have a studio called Glory Hole Studios, right? I know I could never run. I could never run because of the stuff I've said on the air where I'm joking around, clearly joking around, but I made a joke that was off color

and they would clip that and they would play that and they would ruin me. But somehow this lady could be like, I'm with Team Q and that's fine. Yeah. On the right, the thing is like, and this is just true, on the right, you can be a fucking crazy racist. You can be a conspiracy theorist. You can be a Nazi. You can be all of that crazy, horrible, mean-spirited, small-minded bullshit. There's room for it, man. It's a fucking bigger tent for worse people. So we want to thank our patrons.

Of course, we want to thank all our patrons, but we want to thank our new patrons today. Sarah, Clay, Georgia, Squintzel B, Scott, Martin, Destiny, Maisiel, Gary,

Simon, Salamala Ding Dong, Dick, Dick C. Normus. That's a good one. That's really great. Figuratively the Devil, Pepper Moo, Devin,

Emrah, vote for the biggest D you can find. I'm listening to Cog Dis more now because opening arguments is just depressing me too much. That's probably true. That's probably true. Ron,

Jay Burley 66, Mel from Hell, Jeff, Atheist Mortician, No True Straw Man. I like that one. That's a good one. Darius, Christopher, Leah, Maxwell, Bart, people who upped their patronage, Chris, Joshua, All Hail Hospital and Grocery Store Workers, Alex, Rick, Jacob, Andrew, Katrina, Alex, Rick, Jacob, Andrew, Katrina, Travel Nurse in Boston, Jason, Cleopatra Smith, I Wish I Was Brian Blessed, Scott, Alice, and the Foundation Beyond Belief donate today. Weston, Tanner, Peter, Etienne, Captain Argus Firecrotch, Danny, and Authentic Frontier Gibberish. Thank you so much for your patronage.

We really do appreciate it. Both Tom and I are still up in the air when it comes to whether or not we're going to be employed. I know that they're going to be making decisions July 1 where I work, so I do have a job until July 1, but projections are not great for enrollment, and I work in a higher ed

institution. So there almost certainly will be layoffs. I may or may not be one of those people. And so the patronage really does give me personally some peace of mind to know that if fucking shit does go tits up, I at least can podcast for a little while or maybe permanently as a job. And that really does give me peace of mind. So if you're not a patron and you've been thinking about it, we really do appreciate all our patrons and we really do encourage you to become a patron. You can go to patreon.com slash dissonance pod or dissonancepod.com and become a patron on a per episode basis. We put out a ton of content for our patrons and we would love it if you would become one of their number.

So we got an image this time from Aaron and it's about getting your hair cut. And so we're going to put it on this show notes. It's pretty funny. We got a message from Jeff and Jeff says long time listener and he's a patron. And he said he just wanted to let us know we got a message from Jeff and Jeff says longtime listener and, uh, and he's a patron and he said,

he just wanted to let us know that on, he's listening to episode five 22 and he nearly shot soda on his nose when he heard, had you heard you pronounce a Tusca Darrell. Cause you remember you were reading, I think you were reading off your phone and you couldn't see it and you, you tried to read it and it's, you read it something else.

And I'm sure it was just, it just looks like tobacco soy sauce. And you're looking at like tiny letters. That was awesome. Yeah. So he, he just wanted to let us know that he shot something out of his nose. And then you, if you want to shoot something out of your body, you can go to adamandeve.com, type in Gloria Chekhov. I can mix that into anything really. It's like, oh, that's what she said. You know what I mean? Like, it's so easy just to, yeah. Just to throw it in there. And if you want to throw it in there,

you can go to adamandeve.com. So the next one is, this one is from Carl. And Carl says, he's from Manchester. And he says, wow, I just listened to the advert and I actually understood it for the first time in my native English. Last week was Ian's geo-targeted ad. So some of you may have heard an English version, a proper English version where Ian, of course,

donned a British accent. I will say this. Our shows on Patreon will get, you know, a few likes, a few comments. Ian's commercials on Patreon. Dozens. Dozens of comments. And everybody hearts it and everybody likes it.

And I just got to say, pretty soon our whole show is just going to be Ian's commercials. And then once in a while, he's going to put us on for a minute clip. We'll just chime in to introduce Ian for an hour. I also want to say too that Ian, we never give him any direction on those

those are 100% his ideas we don't send him a message and be like oh you should do it this week or you should do it this way this week

I don't think I ever really gave him any direction on any of those those have all been him 100% he's a very clever funny guy

and we're very happy to have him on the team we got a message from Mel from Hell they said long time listener, first time patron. Y'all are my first atheist podcast and you helped me transition

out of religion. So, wow. One person. That's awesome. That's great that we helped somebody transition out of religion. I like that a lot. That's great. Welcome to atheism. There's not a lot of rules. So, we got a message from Christian who sent us a big long message. This is like a whole chapter in a book that he sent us. But I do want to mention

one part. Talking about voter apathy with Marsh last week, we had a long conversation about this and he said that voter turnout was actually up in a lot of places for younger people, but they did close a lot of polling places. And this is absolutely true. There has been a lot of, in some ways, voter suppression in the ways to cut voting off for people that are in different groups that don't have a really easy opportunity to vote. So college students is one of those people, one of those groups of people that will, they'll cut off voting on campus. In Chicago, voting this last time was very difficult. They closed down a ton of places because one, because it was COVID. So there wasn't a lot of people that were volunteering to sit around all day and a room

full of other people. And then they also closed down a bunch of different polling places. So I had to go to a different polling place much farther away, wait for an hour and a half to vote in the primaries. It was a hectic long time to do it. And I know a lot of other people were terribly inconvenienced. My normal polling place is across the street and it was closed down. So I understand that level of that and I get it. But there is also some apathy on that side. And not just a tiny bit either. There's a lot of apathy on that side, especially when it comes to the primary.

And they are showing that there's, while more people are voting, there's still a large percentage of people that are not voting at all. The thing is, it's like, it's not like 40% aren't voting. It's like 86% aren't voting. It's like 86% aren't voting. That's so, it's overwhelmingly most, you know, and that's just, that's a problem that's got to get solved. It's a level of unacceptable. The other thing too, that I'm seeing a lot more of, and I saw

a bunch of people talking about this and it's been talking about this forever, that somehow now that Bernie Sanders is out, and don't get me wrong, man, I wanted Bernie Sanders. I fucking wanted Bernie Sanders. And I'm so not interested in fucking Joe Biden, right? Not interested at all. Joe Biden is a level of problematic I don't even want to have to deal with, to be perfectly honest. There's a whole bunch of shit, you know, with those sexual assault allegations that are coming out. And just think,

he's not a good candidate at all. I hate that he's the nominee, right? Or is the presumptive nominee at this point. I hate it. He's a weak candidate. I hate it. Say what you will about Joe Biden, but I'll tell you this.

Everybody on that stage pulled that fucker to the left. stage pulled that fucker to the left. They pulled that fucker to the left hard as they could. And yeah, is he as fucking far left as the rest of the group? No, he's not. He was the centrist candidate. He was the rightest leaning person on that stage, right? He was the rightest leaning person on that stage going in. He was the rightest leaning person on that stage going out. But I'll tell you what, the Joe Biden that went in, I feel is a different Joe Biden than today. And I think he's farther left. Now, is he as far left as I want him to be? No, he's not as far left as I want him to be. But I tell you what, he's farther left than he was going in. And he's way

farther left than President Trump, way farther left. That's, that's the only thing that matters. Like he's farther left than Trump. That's it. You have two choices. It doesn't matter whether you, like the two bad choices are not two equally bad choices. Right. Right. So like, we're going to get one or the other. You're not getting the third guy. You're not getting the thing you wanted. It's like, you know, like if I want pizza for dinner but the only thing in the house is spaghetti or hamburgers I gotta choose spaghetti or hamburgers well and people are saying

you're choosing between two shit sandwiches well I'll tell you what if I have to eat a shit sandwich no matter what and on one shit sandwich I eat the shit sandwich and that's it or on the other shit sandwich my mom gets COVID and dies. I'm going to eat the one that my mom didn't get COVID and died from.

Okay. So I'm going to eat the one that doesn't cause a national disaster. That's what I'm going to do. So there's, I don't understand why that's hard to think about. Yeah. Does it suck? Yeah.

Fucking sucks. And I fucking hate it too. But you know what? I'll tell you what. It's not the same fucking thing. It's not the same. A hundred percent not the same. Yeah, and it's like,

I'm kind of tired of that shit. Like sometimes you're going to have to do things you don't like to do. Wah, wah. That's it. That's it. So what? So be mad about it.

I'm mad about it too. But like still do the work, still make the choice, still behave responsibly. You don't get like the, anything less is unacceptable. Anyway. Well, we had a great time at our live stream tonight. You should come join us on our live stream, 9 p.m. Central Time. There should be, hopefully next week we'll be up a little early on, I think YouTube, where you can go in and chat with people. So if you want to show up a little early on YouTube,

early on, I think YouTube, where you can go in and chat with people. So if you want to show up a little early on YouTube, it'll be live. We won't be in there, but there'll be a place for you, sort of a placeholder, which we hope will make it easier for people to find and show up and hang out. We had a lot of fun. So if you want to come hang out with us, we'd love to see you on 9 p.m. Central time for our live stream. We normally cover a couple of stories and chit chat. So come and show up, hang out. Love to see you. But that is going to wrap it up for this week. We hopefully will have a guest next week, so we're excited about that, and we're not going to tell you who because we don't

want to ruin it, so we will catch you next time, but we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead,

pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cars psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards vaccine nuts shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential.

Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you.