Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 529: Momentum

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

Stories from the Week

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago. From wherever we're located, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in the way, gets in our way. Huh.

We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome at this is episode 529 of cognitive dissonance and cecil buddy we are just about halfway through 2020 right now. Oh, yeah. We are close at this point. We have made some progress in not having any more 2020. You know, the idea that it's going to all stop after 2020 so far seems very naive and optimistic at this point.

You know, Cecil, some of us, some of us still dare to dream impossible dreams, Cecil. Tell you what, man. I- Oh, they're talking about, they're saying it was, we're six weeks into the, no, more than that. Six months into the coronavirus at this point.

Six months thereabouts, because it sort of came up on shore- In January. Sometime around in January, and now we're six months thereabouts because it sort of came up on shore sometime around in January and now we're six months in and they're still expecting over a year plus of this still to be the case. People have essentially given up

where I'm at. They basically tapped out full. It's so funny because in one of the things that they have, I was driving around yesterday and you just see entire parking lots filled with tables and chairs now, just entire parking lots with tables and chairs. No umbrellas.

It's 90 degrees out, and there's full parking lots with tables and chairs where they're just like, fuck it. If we can't have it inside, we're going to have it outside. And they don't even have comfortable conditions for you to sit and eat in. And they're just like, fuck it, bring it outside. There's going to be people eating in a fucking thunderstorm outside. Just like hail pelting you on your polenta.

It's just like, ah, fuck. You fucking know it. Yeah. I read something that said like, you know, America's done with the coronavirus, but the coronavirus isn't done with America. You know, I was like, yeah. Yeah, like, I'm surprised we had six months in us, to be honest with you. And we didn't because we didn't really know about it in January

like as it being an American thing. No, we didn't really do anything until late March really is when we did it. I will say. Three months, three-ish. 90 days. Bravo, America. I never would have given us 90 days i would have been like look 48 hours and we're done 48 hours to be like like america's so fucking short-sighted i think

a goddamn bomb like a nuclear bomb could go off outside you'd be like is the radiation over and the blast wave still hasn't hit the house can we go out yeah? I'm going to order Grubhub. Hang on. Yeah. It's funny because, man, like fucking, it was like two or three days after everything, masks were the most

ultimate oppression immediately in. Right. You know, as soon as masks actually, because they got, they didn't tell us the truth initially when they said that you shouldn't wear masks

because they initially said no masks. And then they rolled that back and said, no, actually masks are pretty good. But then there's a whole new group of people that are saying masks, how dare you infringe upon my liberties of my face. And then there was these huge fucking rallies about that. So now we're stuck in this position right now where there's a group of people out there that are wearing masks because they want to protect other people because the mask is for you to protect other people, not so you are protected. And so there's a few people, I would say maybe about 25% of the people I see are wearing masks. Then there's a group of people who don't give a shit, right? So those are the people who just don't care. They won't wear them because

they don't care. And then there's a group of people who actively hate other people wearing masks and themselves wearing masks. Some of those are cops who pull it down and spray you in the face when you wear it. Yeah, man. Yeah, no. So we're in a good position. I think at this point, we've lost a bunch of jobs and we're still going to die. So there's a lot going for us right now in America. We really did manage to get the best of all worlds out of this scenario, right? We really squoze all the worst parts of the juice in this one. It is so amazing. You could not actually have mismanaged this pandemic more aggressively.

And to your point about like they lied to us about the masks, like you're not even kidding. I saw an article this week that said the CDC always knew masks would be helpful, but they didn't have enough to give to healthcare workers.

So they were like, well, we don't want people going to buy them. We need to give them to first responders and healthcare workers, frontline guys. So they changed the narrative on us as if it was like new information and like everybody in japan's like look man we just wear masks when we have a cold because we're a collectivist society and that's how we roll and like yeah japan has been largely spared from the

coronavirus epidemic even with immense population density cities like Tokyo, right? Because they're just like, yeah, we just always do this. We just, this is what we do. But like here in the States, like this is not what we do. Like it's not part of our culture. We don't have a collectivist culture. But like in the beginning, I think we would have rode that, right? We would have been like, all right. But when you flip that script on America,

it's like we didn't read the first script all the way through. We thumbed through it. We got through the prologue. We jerked off and fell asleep. That's America. Well, I mean, genuinely, one of the problems is that I don't think that they trusted us from the beginning.

They didn't trust us from the beginning. They didn't trust the American people from the beginning. And well, I will say, we've given you no reason to until this point we've given you no reason to, but, uh, but yeah, so, yeah. So we're in this position now where, uh, where they're going to open stuff back up and they are, and they're getting flare ups in different places, but you will see even more flare ups, especially even in Illinois, because they just opened Illinois back up. You're going to see even more flare-ups in Illinois. And as the summer goes on, I have heard that it is less spreadable in the summer, mainly because you're just not in a restaurant.

If they do this open-air thing, it's a lot easier for it not to be – like, if you're outside, it's a lot harder to get than if you are in a closed room with someone else. Right. It's just a lot harder to get. And so, but once that stops and, you know, in November or whatever, and it's not going to be November in here, it'll be a fucking like the 3rd of August, it's going to be 40 below. So, you know, so once it stops in late August, you're just not going to be able to like, it's going to be another surge again up here, especially. Yeah. Well, it had to be a surge. It'll feel like a lockdown, right? Because like, if you can't go to a restaurant unless it's outside and the restaurant's like, you want to come outside and sit in the freezings, you'll be like, well, fuck it's effectively closed. Like it's essentially a lockdown. It's not, it's not much different. The other thing that cracks

me up and by cracks me up, I mean, it makes me cry until I can't stop. My eyes are red is like Trump's narrative that he like had his little lapdog Pence go out and try to sell, which is like he told the governors, remember, tell your people that the surge in cases is because of all the testing. And it's like, no, the surge in cases outpaces the rate of testing change, which means like if it was one to one, you could make that argument and be like, yeah, all right. That makes sense. Like we test more people. We find more cases. Like if you test no one, you find none. Like so. But the rate of cases far outpaces the rate of additional testing, which means like that's just not true. But they're trying to sell to America. Don't worry. Be happy. Even as this is like, because like we can't be trusted, but motherfucking they can't be trusted at all.

Oh no, they've been, they've been lying since the beginning. Yeah. And they're continuing to lie to us. And what kills me is like, we know it. And some people are like, I just liked that lie. That one's good. They just like the lie better. They like the lie better. I mean, Trump told a great one this week, which was, if we stop testing, we wouldn't know any cases. We wouldn't have any cases. And that's like, it's 100% true. We wouldn't have any cases that we could point to

and say, that's coronavirus. If we stop testing, you're absolutely right. 100% put a gold star on his test. Let him sit in the front of the room and get his chocolate milk first. He won. He won the internet that day. That was probably I don't know if that was a flub.

I don't know if it was because it sounds I think it's in context and he's basically saying that other places aren't reporting their numbers correctly, but he doesn't know how to say that, right? What he wants to say is, look, other places aren't testing as much as we are, and there's a very good chance

that other countries right now who are not testing as much as we are or as thoroughly as we are are experiencing way more coronavirus numbers, but they're not reported because they're not testing as well as we are. It's easy to say, right? I'm not a fucking politician,

but you understood what I meant, right? There's plenty of, you understood. I'm not a fucking, I'm certainly not somebody who got a scholarship to college, right? But you could understand it. He just couldn't say that out loud without actually trying to fluff himself up. And when he did, he sounded like an idiot because he basically said, look, if we stopped testing, there wouldn't be any cases. You're like, yeah, no shit. And like, also like in the middle of a pandemic i'm not real concerned like how like if other people are lying to their country i don't care right like at this point i'm uniquely concerned with myself right like i like i don't

want the entire world to get sick and die so please don't misunderstand i do care but like but at the same time i don't care whether fucking merkle is fucking lying like people figure that if merkle wants to murky the water is like let her figure that shit out right like that's not my deal but like you can't be like here's why we're doing a good job because other people aren't doing a good job too that doesn't mean you're doing a good job right it's It's like, that's not how good jobs happen. It is such classic blame game bullshit that that guy plays every moment of his life.

He would be the worst boss in the world if he was just above you on the chain and there was somebody above and he threw you under the bus and threw all the people around him under the bus all the time. He'd be the worst boss in the world. Did you see the clip of him talking about the AIDS vaccine that the scientists made? Oh, dude, you got to Google this. This is amazing. Google Trump AIDS vaccine and then we just got to play it because he's just such a fucking incoherent twat of a human being we will have a very

successful vaccine therapeutic and cure we're making tremendous progress i deal with these credible scientists doctors credible very very closely have great respect for their minds very, very closely, have great respect for their minds, and they have come up with things. And they've come up with many other cures and therapeutics over the years. These are the people, the best, the smartest, the most brilliant anywhere.

And they've come up with the AIDS vaccine. Hold on, hold on. Does anybody react in the audience? Does anybody react? I got to hear this. Hold on. Does anybody react in the audience? Does anybody react? I got to hear this. Hold on. They've come up with or the AIDS and as you know there's various things and now various companies are involved.

What did he just say? Hold on now. What does that even mean? Hold on. I can play that again. You know there's various things and now various companies are involved. You know, there's various things and now various companies are involved. What does that mean, Tom?

Thanks for the clarity. Hold on, there's still a minute left. Hold on, we're not done yet. It's amazing. AIDS was a death sentence. AIDS was a death sentence. And now people live a life with a pill. Is that a vaccine?

It's an incredible thing. Is that a vaccine, though? It's not a vaccine. It's not a vaccine. That's a, yeah. Okay. Did he just say Ebola? It's an anti-retroviral.

Did he say Ebola? Hold on. Ebola vaccine and others. These are the people that have done it. Or these are the people that have been around it and they're all competing. It's an incredible thing. All of these brilliant firms, labs, companies are competing. And I will tell you, we're very far advanced. We've already started tests and trials. So I think we're going to have a very, very good answer to that very, very soon. Oh my God, will you stop

saying very? Even without it, it goes away. But if we had the vaccine, and we will, if we had therapeutic or cure, one thing sort of blends into the other, it will be a fantastic day. What does that mean? And I think that's going to happen.

He's so just like the least smart person you've ever heard speak. Honestly. Honestly. Unbelievable. And he just lies. Like, he just like makes shit up. He doesn't know what he's talking about.

He uses as examples things which never happened all the time because his view of the world is just like, you know, when you're shitting in a golden toilet like you do and you have like, you know, your manservant comes to bring you another peeled grape and a, you know, wine spritzer.

And you're just like, we don't live like that. Nobody lives like that. There's no cure for, there's no, you can't cure AIDS. There's no cure for AIDS. There's some very good treatments now, thankfully for AIDS. There's no you can't cure aids there's no cure for aids there's some very good treatments now thankfully for aids there's no vaccine for aids various things with various companies does little to inspire confidence in the middle of a devastating economic and pandemic downturn

like what are you talking about what's crazy to me and it's you talking about? What's crazy to me is he could just say out loud, you know, he could have made that 15 seconds long. That entire long, big thing that he said could have been 15 or 20 seconds long where he said,

look, we're working on it. It's our plan to have both something that you could take that could combat the symptoms of the illness and a vaccine that would eventually, hopefully prevent the illness. As we speak right now, there's plenty of companies that are producing trials and these trials are moving forward at a rapid pace.

And we are very hopeful to have something very soon that will help combat this in a real and meaningful way. You could say that it's over. It's done. I mean, how hard is that? Instead I did, but I didn't mention unicorns when I said that. I didn't stop to, I didn't stop to mention something that didn't exist. I just said, I just said what you could easily say and, and would not be construed as a lie or fantasy. I mean, I heard today that they're actually producing vaccines that haven't even made it through the trials in hopes that they do make it through the trials.

That's intense. So they're actually producing- First to the gate. Yeah. So they're trying to make sure that the moment they say, yep, it works, that there's millions of doses already made. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. Well, like the other comment that he just throws out there, which is, I think one of the most dangerous comments he throws out there is, you know, but even if we don't cure it or get a vaccine,

it'll just go away. Yeah. Why would that happen? Yeah. Like, honestly, Cecil, why like stop and think about like, why would it just go away? Measles didn't go away. Even when measles had no vaccine, right? And measles is incredibly contagious. Measles, because the thing is, like, there's also no guarantee that you will reach

a place of total infection rate to reach herd immunity. Like, that's also, like, that's a pie-in-the the sky thing that might not happen. Might not actually happen. You're right. Because it doesn't happen for lots of other viruses that are really like dangerous. Smallpox, it didn't happen.

Smallpox was a virus that existed for hundreds and hundreds of years and continued to infect and kill people for hundreds and hundreds of years. That's the case for most viruses. for hundreds and hundreds of years. That's the case for most viruses. Most viruses don't rise up to a level to where they are no longer infectious because that's just not how that has historically ever fucking happened.

Most viruses, once they infect the human population, stick around for a really long time until they either become less dangerous because viruses tend to become less dangerous because they spread better evolutionarily, or occasionally we work out a goddamn vaccine. What doesn't happen very often at the very least is like, well, it just got its fucking books and went home.

Like, why would we think that that would happen? Someone wrapped it on the nose of the newspaper and it went to go lay down. It went to go lay down away from us. Oh, yeah, look, nobody gets colds anymore because, you know, everybody got a cold already. So now nobody gets a cold.

Like, what the fuck? Why the fuck would anybody think that? what's going on here what's garbage well what do you expect they're Canadian so this story comes from the CBC I saw this everywhere by the way and I fucking love this story because it's so fucking crazy. In a world, Cecil, where in America, our rights seem to be hanging on by a tenuous grasp. Here's this. Man fined 500 euros for farting with full intent at the Vienna police. So the police walked up to this dude

sitting on a bench and they start talking to this guy and he locks eyes with the cops and he lets one fucking rip. And they're just like, did Stow fart at me? They wrote this guy a 500 euro ticket. I wonder if the guy pulled the ripcord.

Do you think he pulled the ripcord when he did it? Do you think he did one of the, he looked at somebody? Or do you think when they were trying to help him up, they pulled his finger and he let one go? Pulled his finger? Yeah, he just let one go. They tried to put him in finger cuffs and they pull his finger. He just rips one out.

What is it? What do they charge for a shart? Like, what's the, you know what I mean? Like, a fart is $1,000. Is it like $1,500 a shart? You're just like, you lock eyes with a cop and you squeeze one out. You're like, all right, that backfired. And then you're just like, hold on, that bubbled. There was a bubble in there.

That shouldn't have happened. I'm going to wipe my ass with this ticket because now I need to. I really need to. That's it. I hope. Jesus Christ. Write that fucker on Charmin

because I got a problem. What is going on? It'd be awesome if the police come up to you and they have one of those like, like deli chalkboards with the numbers next to it on what each farting type costs you so like silent but deadly is only 25 euros but if you let out like a like a fucking california ripper that one's worth x amount california ripper it smells like broccoli and you're just like what is that

you're like why is is this strangely hot meat? What is happening? Why do I even know what hot meat smells like? And why is it spicy? Why is it, when I inhale it, it has a spice to it. It makes my eyes water. What is with it that makes that happen? What are you curing salami in there?

What is going on? He's got a saucy sawn in his fucking lower intestine. He's just fucking fermenting in there. You're supposed to cut away the outside of the salami. It's not good for your gut. I love that. This is a great story. They're just like, yeah, no.

Yeah, here's the thing, guys. this is a great story. They're just like, yeah, no. Yeah. Here's the thing, guys,

please over, please, please power and, uh, overrun is, is, is evident all over the globe. If they can arrest you. No kidding.

Right. Offending the public decency is what they got. 500 euros for farting. I would be fucking bankrupt. I would be, by the time I was like 14, I would have been like all right i'm in i'm a fucking indentured servant to the state oh that's great ever been in a cockpit

before no sir i've never been up in a plane before you ever seen a grown man naked do you want me to check the weather clarence no why don't you take care of it? Joey, do you ever hang around the gymnasium? We better get back now, Joey. So this story is just fucking nuts, and I kind of love it. It's from the Idaho Statesman. And I love this mostly because there's a picture. So if you get a chance to head over to the show notes and look at the picture that accompanies this story, it's worth it. Oh, no.

Naked. You see the picture? Where is the X going? Like, what is... Like, X marks the spot here, Tom. X marks the G spot. What's going on? They had to get him prostate on the ground.

I mean, tell you, they sure did. Naked rock thrower evades arrest for 12 hours by perching on railroad genuinely perching too at this point so this guy evidently was was exposing himself to bystanders and throwing rocks at people um and you know like they called the cops on him because he's chucking rocks naked at people all right fine so the crisis negotiation team rolls out there, right? And they engage with this guy. For 12 hours, they engage with this guy. He climbs up the fucking-

Okay, hold on. Hold on. Uh-huh. They engage with this guy for 12 hours. How long would they have engaged with him if he was a black guy? That's a- 12 seconds. That's a legitimate question.

We should be asking is how quickly would he have been shot if he was a black dude? Anyway, a naked black man hurling rocks. I mean, you could be a, would not be given the, you'd be a white dude with like juggling and throwing maliciously at people, six machetes and you get tackled to the ground by cops. You're a black guy who happens to have

a fucking corkscrew on him and you get fucking murdered. Anyway. You're like, and you're a Somali. I thought he said he was a Somali. That's why I killed him.

So there's a picture of this guy just like chilling 12 hours to not get arrested. This looks so fucking uncomfortable. Then like the best part of the whole story is while he's up there. Hold on. But let me describe. He's on the other.

So there's a fucking railroad crossing. Right. And you know, the sign in America with the railroad crossing is a big, it's a big X. It's an X, not a cross. So it's the X on its side. His, what looks like his ass crack is right on that fucking, on the X using it like a fucking chair back and his feet are on the lower part of that same X. You've got to see this picture because it looks like he has an X up his ass i mean i'm not kidding right he looks like he is definitely marking the spot right like absolutely he's got this thing right on his

treasure trail he's sitting he is sitting on this fucking uh thing for 12 hours at some point it starts to rain on him so he's sitting on this thing for a fucking half a full day while the cops are just like, oh my God, please come down. At no point did they shoot beanbags at him or like fucking rubber bullets or tear gas in the face.

They didn't load a dog into a trebuchet and throw it at him. What an unbelief. You guys got to see this picture though. It's something else, man. God. It's fucking great. I see why you wouldn't want to get that got to see this picture though. It's something else, man. God. It's fucking great. I can see why you wouldn't want to get that close to take that photo though.

Cause he's a rock thrower. And gosh, you know, there has to be that moment where you like called the cops and you're like, this isn't how I expected this would go. You got to call the cops and say, wait, now what'd you say?

Yeah. No. Who's the poor sap who's got to disinfect that X? That's what I want to know. Does it work? That depends on who you ask and whether or not they understand science. But don't take it from me. Take it from this jingle.

Dr. Clean gets stuff on viruses and does it in a minute. Dr. Clean will clean your body and every organ in it. Lungs, throat, heart, spleen, and all the stuff that's in between. So take a squirt. It won't hurt. Be sure to sign our waiver first. All right, so this story comes from ArsTechnica.com. Homeopaths sell injections containing strychnine, lead, and mercury.

So, Cecil, a couple of things about this. The first thing that occurred to me after I read this article is like, who the fuck is getting anything that is not from the goddamn pharmacy and injecting it into themselves? You know what I mean? Like, I don't inject shit into my body. Like my body, I'm not just like, huh, maybe that'll work. And just injecting it into myself. Like, and then the other thing that occurred to me is like, homeopaths are selling bullshit, right? And homeopathic cures

are bullshit, which means you have to go out of your way to put dangerous things in there. You could just be putting saline in there. It could just be nothing. And what I wondered, what the first thing that popped in my head is, what are they doing? Because I know they sell those homeopathic tablets. Are they like crushing those and melting those in a spoon and then shooting those?

What is happening? Because you can't light those on fire. Those will turn into caramel. They're all sugar pills for Christ's sakes. You can drizzle them on a Sunday after you're done. I was going to say, this pill best consumed over ice cream. Yeah, you could maybe like drop some nuts in there and make pralines, but you sure as fuck are going to be like,

it's not anything. I want to read, Tom, because I was trying to remember what a homeopathic stuff has to go through. And so I want to read the production of what you have to do to make something homeopathic. So the first potency, you mix the ingredients and you add water. So this would be if you're doing, say, mercury. You would mix a certain amount of mercury with water and you'd shake the bottle violently for some time. And they recommend equal force up to three kilograms falling 40 centimeters onto a firm book. That is, if you dash the bottle, which you hold in a rubber

gloved hand, I don't know why that's important. What is even happening right now? To something firm, you do it 30 times. So basically what they do is they take, fill up a bottle, half as water, pour in the whatever amount of mercury they want, and then they shake it, and then they beat it

on something 30 times. Because that has to, evidently, the chemicals don't fucking, they're very sleepy. And you need to wake the chemicals up. Because if you don't,

they won't activate. So then what do they do? This is a, now this is a bottle, Tom. If you drank that shit, you'd be fucked up because it's full of fucking mercury, right? That's fucked up. Yeah. So what they do is they drain the bottle down to three drops and then they fill it back up halfway with water, beat it again.

Like it's fucking, like it's, it's a fucking foster child for a while. And then they stop and then they do that again. So that third potency is when they let three drops remain and they add the bottle again until half full. They do that a total and then they beat the shit out of it again 30 times. They do that a total of six times where they drop it all the way down to three drops and then fill the bottle halfway back up again, beat it, do it again. They do that six times in a row. So the first potency, very strong,

could probably hurt you. But after you get to the last one, there's literally nothing left in there. There's nothing left in there at all. They have removed it all. And what they say is that there's now sort of this aura of the chemical.

I don't even know what it is. That somehow. There's chemical ghosts in there. That ghost chemical then heals you. Yeah.

And the ghosts of the chemicals scare away the other chemicals. What I love is like, it's based on that idea that like, like cures like.

So I guess like, the, even if that were true it like it's only valuable if i have a mercury problem right like i have too much mercury hang on we'll give you a little bit more mercury um maybe you oh yeah i have too much mercury there's no world where just a little bit more of something i do i you know i got cancer you know we got a great cure for that it's uh more aggressive a little more cancer a little more cancer we're gonna give you a little more cancer make sure it's more aggressive though this

time and it eats the other cancer yum yum yum seriously that's like if like a cocker spaniel bites you and won't let you go and then you're like fuck what do i do and it's like why don't i get bitten by a german shepherd you're like you won't even notice the cocker spaniel it's a stupid thing what the fuck what are you even talking about like you don't need to get and then so like these people are buying this and then injecting it into themselves and like there's no world where again you should buy anything and inject it into themselves. And like, there's no world where, again, you should buy anything and inject it into your fucking body unless like a doctor wrote you a very special note.

Like in a real doctor. A real doctor. Yeah, 100% should never do that. It's unbelievable. What the fuck? It's unbelievable. And they're saying that people, like babies have died because people have given their babies these things.

And also what's crazy is, is that you would expect that this stuff wouldn't be toxic. You would expect that because it's, because I explained the process, there's no way it can physically be toxic anymore, but it's toxic and they're injecting it into people and they can like hurt them.

It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. And if like cured like, how on earth could Trump ever be well? Because he's the most unlikable person in the world. I don't know what you give him. Well, you can't drink a glass of water.

Let's shift gears to that story let's shift gears to that story so this story comes from independent.co.uk and it has there is an ad

from the fucking Lincoln Project people which is like Republicans that just like aren't insane I guess that are like

oh my god have you seen this guy I think you know what I think it is I think it's Republicans who recognize that more and more presidential power is a bad thing even for them and that I think they just recognize I think it's Republicans who recognize that more and more presidential

power is a bad thing even for them. And that I think they just recognize that and they're like, fuck it. We need to definitely make sure that this doesn't happen to us because it is looking like it's going to happen to you and you're going to get fucked. And they are like more like old guard Republicans, like much more strictly old guard kind of, they're the Republicans like your grandparents would have identified with as Republicans. Sure. You know, like they're not like the crazy, like whatever we have now, like post-Neocon, lunacy, anti-factual, but they have this ad and the ad is just fucking amazing. It's like, there's something wrong with them. They just show them like doddering about trying to drink water. He drinks water like a fucking otter holding a clam.

He totally does. Just like two hands. A hundred percent. He looks like a baby cradling a teat. He is fucking a hundred. It's the craziest shit you've ever seen. And I don't know what the problem is. People were saying that maybe his shoulder got thrown out

and he can't lift. Because he tries to lift it with his right hand and it only goes up so high. And then he has to press it. He has to like use the other hand to lift the rest of the glass of water into his mouth. And like, here's the thing, right? It shouldn't be an issue.

We shouldn't be looking at it and saying, well, that's not an issue. He's just an old guy and he shouldn't be an issue. The problem is, is that he's a liar and says he's the most healthy president in the history of mankind. And you're just like, okay, well then why do you struggle lifting eight ounces? If you're the healthiest president, you should be able to fucking, I don't know, fucking, you should at least be able to fucking maybe do a kettlebell swing with a gallon of milk not struggle with a fucking a tiny amount of water in a glass and these aren't even full-size bottles these are little but these are like these are like mini bottles these are like these are

like i i go in diapers all the time so i can't drink a full bottle a bottle that's what it is it's insanity it is and like it does kind of matter if our president is likely to die before he finishes working absolutely and like did you see him try to walk down the stairs momentum like he's he tweeted about it like when momentum is the thing you're counting on to get you down something. That means you fell. That's what momentum does in the downward direction. What is so funny is the way, like, I read, and it's a very great analysis, that nobody really would have said anything that it said,

oh, he looks like he was having, struggling on that thing, and then he jogged to the bottom, right? That's what it looks like. He looks like he's kind of not really sure how to walk. At a certain point, he looks like he's going to grab that general's hand on the way down. And then he struggles inside and then eventually just trucks down, right? He just goes down. He just sort of runs a little faster than normal. I'm not saying running because I don't think he can run, but he trots down it. And I think, you know, people would have said, oh, that's weird or whatever, but he's the one

who mentioned it, right? So he's the one who's saying, I did it very strongly, right? He's going out of his way to be like, look at how powerful I was on this moment where I was super weak. And you're just like, you're just such a fucking narcissist and you're so afraid of how you look that you've got to go out of your way

to explain to everybody how fucking powerful you are all the time. Really, truly powerful people don't have to do that. Yeah, right, because it's self-evident that they're powerful. They don't have to fucking swing dick all the time. George Clooney doesn't have to tell you he's attractive, right? He doesn't have to look at you and be like, I'm a very attractive man. Yes, of course

you are. No shit, George Clooney. You're very attractive. So what? Brad Pitt doesn't have to do it, right? They don't have to say, I'm one of the world's most sexiest men. They just fucking are. That's just how it works. Did you see the Biden ad? I don't know if it's real or not.

Where he's jogging around. He's just jogging at the end of it. And Trump is drinking from the thing all weird. The end tagline is, Biden, he can run and drink water. The end tagline is Biden. He can run and drink water. Because these are two things the other guy can't do.

It's not even impressive. This is where we're at, man. This is where we're at. It's so, so crazy. There's no way. There's no way you go back in time. There's no way you go back in time to 2012 Cecil. And you say, 2012 Cecil, I want to talk to you about 2020 president.

I want you to answer this question. He can drink a glass of water with less than two hands. And I would say, are you fucking insane right now? What the fuck is, he can walk down an incline of 28 degrees. And I would say, what the fuck are you talking, is Stephen Hawking our president in 2020?

What is happening? I will share something with you though, Cecil. It could be, it could be a flexibility issue. Like I'm just, I was just watching him drink that water and like, I have to use two hands

to put on my seatbelt in my car. Because you're not flexible enough. Because I'm not flexible enough to take my right hand and reach over my left shoulder. So I have to take my other hand and push it. Because I'm not flexible enough.

Yeah. Admittedly, I have to ask, I have to ask somebody else to Hitachi Wan my ass while I jerk off. So, so I'm not flexible enough for that either. So, yeah.

And if you want a Hitachi Wan your ass, you can go to adamandeve.com, type in Gloria Checkout. Ian will probably tell you exactly what you'll get on that. But you get a bunch of free stuff. All you need to do is type in Gloria Checkout and you get free shipping and 50% off almost any item. That's exactly right.

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That's G-L-O-R-Y offer code glory at checkout. All right. Jim, your daughter just said that my underwear are horrible.

That is not good for my self-esteem. Since when is she my daughter all of a sudden? Oh, God. We got to, can we play the clip? Because it's fucking solid gold what this guy

is saying it's amazing so the story comes from wkrn.com uh police 58 year old arrested on child porn charges after purchasing and eating soiled underwear okay okay okay tom yeah tom yeah why would you how you doing buddy why would you paste this into the fucking notes? What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Jesus Christ. Here's why. Because like this police captain or whatever that is talking about this is absolutely solid gold. Because he absolutely cannot believe what has happened on his day at the work today. Let's listen.

Yeah. Admittedly, this is one of those work days that goes down in the anals of history for sure. Here we go. He's 58 years of age. His name is Jose Ariza. We charged him with distributing child porn and attempting to purchase child porn.

Well, here's the newsflash. You look at this guy, Jose. You know what else he was doing online? He was purchasing sold underwear. Did you hear me?

He's so appalled. Did you hear you hear me? He's so appalled. Did you hear what I said? There's a market out there. You can go online, and if you're a deviant. This has nothing to do with the charges. You're into sold underwear, and you know what? All kinds of things get in sold underwear, right? Sometimes you think you're passing gas and you're not you can't you can't trust a fart when you

this is at a press conference this is at a press at this press conference he is basically standing there be like we've all shat our pants right guys not if you're in switzerland or whatever the fuck we talked about earlier they'd find the shit out of you over there. Are you kidding me? There's somebody out there who's just like, oh, I'm going to sell that one. What are you doing over there? It stinks. Oh, I'm just making some money.

Yeah, that's the scent of us getting rich, babe. Jesus Christ. This is the most disgusting story I've ever heard in my entire life. The best thing has nothing to do with this guy's criminal activity. It's just this guy is so fucking appalled by it. He just can't even believe it.

He can't stop himself from talking about it. He's like, no, I'm really grossed out by this. I need to share this with you. It's nasty as shit. Let me tell you something. He seriously was like, oh man, call a press conference. David,

get the press here. Now, is he talking about so he's just talking about soiled underwear in general. He's not talking about like child underwear. It literally has nothing to do. It doesn't appear from the child porn. And he spends like no time on the child porn thing. And he just like i can't even believe what else this guy was up to

which isn't even illegal he's just grossed out and he has a whole press conference to tell america that he's grossed out i want to see if there's any more give me a sec this guy will buy it. He was buying these things and ingesting them. Did you hear me? He was munching on them. This guy's got problems. I don't know if he realizes it or not, but the rest of the world does. Why do I do that?

You'd think it was for some levity. It's not for levity. I want you to understand what deviants these people really are. He's married. He's got two adult children. He was an IT specialist in communication for Lockheed Martin with a master's degree from Florida International University. What are they teaching these kids? And a culinary degree from Fruit of the Loom.

What are they teaching these kids in college nowadays? Goddamn liberal arts colleges. Dad, what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? When she what? When she got to the ball when she got to the ball i don't know so this is from cnn i grabbed this story because it's just a great idea and everybody should be doing this tiktok users are trying to troll trump's campaign by reserving tickets for tulsa rally that they're never going to use the whole Tulsa rally thing has like blown the fuck up.

Right. Because like that shouldn't be happening. We should not be getting 19,000 people together screaming in a stadium. There was that study like that came out with like the, that choir, I think like there was a choir and there was like 60 people got it. Yeah. And like 57 out of 60 people,

because being in an enclosed space and singing is basically like spitting viruses at your body. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to put 19,000 people all in a room yelling and hooting and hollering, and you know they're not going to be fucking wearing masks and shit at this fucking Tulsa rally. And Tulsa's in the middle of its biggest surge since the beginning of the epidemic right

now. And like Trump wants to have this rally. And next to the 19,000 people is another space that holds, I think, 20,000 people. So now you got like, I don't know if my math is right, about 39,000 new vectors that were created. And so you got 40,000 tickets though. And about a million people have asked for tickets to this rally. But the difference is you can ask for these tickets online and TikTok users are like, let's just all get fucking tickets. Sure. Let's just all get a bunch of fucking tickets. And I have to wonder how many other

fucking fake tickets are out there. And then nothing in the entire world would make me happier than for him to spend all this time and energy and money and like have the cameras rolling and just have one of those stadiums fucking half empty, like filled with like Korean sex dolls. That would be awesome. I got to ask though, and this is just a logistic question that I don't know the answer to. Is there any negatives to that campaign not just issuing tickets

to every single million person who joined? Because if people are waiting outside, they're waiting outside. That's just, it's standing room only guys. Sorry, we got as many as we could. That's, you know, we gave them all. If you give a million tickets away, even to people who are lying, right?

Let's say you're lying and you're not going to show up. And let's say 950,000 people aren't going to show up. Let's say that that many people signed up for tickets. Yeah. And if 50,000 people do, and there's 10,000 people standing outside, does it matter to that campaign? Wouldn't that be good press for them

if they had a 10,000 person waiting limit outside? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, maybe. You might really piss off a lot of people. That's true. Yeah. Because if I got a ticket for something, I presume that I'm going.

Yeah. I mean, if you say it's first come, first serve, then you can easily change it. Yeah, if it's first come, first serve, you can easily change it. Right. And then you could say then, too, after the fact,

over a million people wanted tickets, only X amount could get in. So while I think it's great if you can know for sure you can take these tickets away from somebody who might go and if they're designating a seat or something like that. But if it's general admission, first might, you know, if they're designating a seat or something like that.

But if it's general admission, first come, first serve, might not be in our best interest to pump those numbers. Do you know what I mean? I do. I wonder if it's first come, first serve, though, why have tickets at all?

Other than to count them, maybe to brag about them? To collect their information so you could send them messages about reminding them to vote, to donate to your campaign. You have to sign up for these tickets and you have to give them an email address and things like that. And so, you know, that marketing date is important. Right. That's true. It seems like Tulsa would like,

but I know like Tulsa's like basically said, like, we really don't want you to do that. They also didn't want him to do it on Juneteenth. Like, did you see? He's like, yeah, no, I've done a lot for blacks. I'm going to do it on a black holiday. How's that? Oh my God. I know. Did you see that? He said like, he's done more for blacks than Abraham, except for, for any president, except maybe Abraham Lincoln. And we're not sure how that went. And then the black reporter said, we're free now, Mr. President. This is what he actually said. now, Mr. President. This is what he actually said. This is like the actual crazy, unbelievable transcript of his conversation. He said, Trump told Fox News anchor Harris Faulkner he believes he's done the most good for black Americans with the exception of Lincoln, saying that while, quote, Lincoln did good, although that's always questionable. What the fuck? Faulkner,

a black woman, stopped the president to point out that black Americans, quote, are free now. To which Trump replied, you understand what I mean, so I'm going to take a pass on honest Abe, as we call him. And did not appear to clarify what was questionable about Lincoln. What was... I did... What?

Yeah, back that thing up. Hey, you mind if I pound on that, Joe? What? I like having sex with chicks yeah yeah i think everybody does frito not like i do like when you get it like this sideways that's real good oh yeah stop you're gonna get us caught this story comes from the daily mirror married couple waiting for children didn't realize they needed to have sex first. So this is actually a part of a longer interview

with a woman that's like a midwife. And she's talking about like all this stuff that she's done in her life as a midwife. And then, you know, she later relays this story. And I want to relay the same story because like this is just kind of unreal. And if you didn't think sex education was really fucking vitally important like in the school system you know they had an abstinence only marriage right yeah one married couple she assisted early on in

her career before the internet came along needed the facts of life explained to them. Quote, they had been married for some years. Years. But children hadn't come along. The GP just deduced they didn't know how to make babies, and it was my job to ensure that they did. They genuinely thought babies arrived as a result of simply being married and had no clue.

Jesus Christ. Teaching someone about sex. What kind of fucking hellscape do you live in where babies are delivered to you? Where you just get babies. What kind of fucking hellscape do you live in where babies are delivered to you? Where you just get babies? What kind of fucking nightmare is that? Like the woman just wake, like does the woman just wake up like, oh, I'm pregnant.

Jesus Christ. The marriage worked. Jesus Christ. I need a gun tomorrow. Are you kidding me? Fuck that. Good Lord. Are you kidding me? Fuck that. Good Lord. Are you kidding?

What a terrifying, like that is my hell. That is absolutely my hell. Is that one day we find out, nope, you guys, the vasectomy failed and I'll be like,

oh my God, I'm going to kill myself. That's it. Anyway, you're saying, so they didn't know they thought they were that thought the stork brought him, Tom. Yeah. Just teaching people teaching someone about sex is quite a responsibility. But within a couple of visits, the pair couldn't keep their hands off each other. And I love that part, too, because it assumes like there's this couple that has been married for years.

And they're like attracted to each other, but they don't even know like how to just fumble at each other. They're just like, I don't know what these feelings are. I got to stop. I'm going to, you know, I'm gonna go take another cold shower. Get out of the cold shower, honey. It's my turn in the cold shower. You know though, like, like, I mean, all you have to do is one time look down and be like, there's got to be a hole

this fits in. You know? You look down and you think, there's got to be a hole for this, right? I mean, there wouldn't just be a dangly bit and no hole receptacle type thing out there, right? There's got to be some hole.

And then one day, maybe years into your marriage, you just turn and be like you know i got this thing it's like a dangly bit and it's like a you know kind of just it's like a dongle is there a receptacle somewhere on you that that fits into because it's the only piece of me that i could think would go into that like i like, you didn't even talk that through? Because primitive people, Tom, learned to fuck. Yeah, this is not a function of

we didn't have the internet or nobody told us. Like, nobody tells a dog how to fuck. There's not a dog midwife that needs to come by and coach Rover on how to hump your leg. He just knows how to hump your leg he just knows you actually have to like teach people how to not know exactly like you actually do you have to teach people how

to not know this people with like like just take people out of it like every animal species all of them even pandas will figure it out if coaxed by a zookeeper. Like, it is outrageous. I mean, you got to massage the panda's prostate the whole time. You have to hamstring somebody's sexual expression and imagination so badly. Yeah, you're absolutely right. That they are like, I'm scared of my bits. You're absolutely right. That they are like, I'm scared of my bits. You're absolutely right. You have to put them

in a position where they're so afraid of their own body and think it's so evil that they won't explore anything about it or anyone else's, right? Right.

You have to basically make them live in fear of their own life and their own existence. And you have to make them fear it so much that they wouldn't even with the person who they're the closest to in the fear it so much that they wouldn't even with the person

who they're the closest to in the world explore any of that yeah and like at some point like didn't they see each other naked and be like i don't know why but i want to give you like a real tight hug right now not sure i don't even know what's going on i just know that your body and my body my hips are doing this thing i'm doing this thing and I don't know why. I feel all thrusty. I don't know. I feel like, what is happening? And she's like, and I just have this feeling

like I want to throw my legs up over my ears. There's so many feelings in this room right now. What the hell? India? Can you zoom in on the exhaust vent? Enhance! Enhance! That's not how it works in real life.

You can't create information from nothing. I can increase the contrast. Yeah. Oh, that's a Pegasus fin system. So this story is just some fucking bullshit. This is from the Seattle Times. And this is actually like, this story really worries me. It worries me a lot.

Fox News runs digitally altered images and coverage of Seattle's protests, Capitol Hill, Autonomous Zone. So what fucking Fox did, and let's be super clear, So what fucking Fox did, and let's be super clear, really fucking intentionally in order to be a propaganda arm of the right wing rather than a goddamn news outlet. Because there is no other explanation. No, absolutely not. There is no other. You're absolutely right. I'm unwilling to even consider anything.

What they did is they took three separate images and they photoshopped them all together to, and they did this in more than one place actually, and they took, or mislabeled images in another place, but they took three separate images so that you have a picture of like a fucked up, like smashed out window of a retail shop. And then like somebody who is supposedly like an armed protester standing there with a big giant ass gun standing in front of it and then they label that thing like a picture with a date on it from inside seattle's autonomous right except for that like that picture of the guy with the gun was taken like on may 30th or something. The picture of the smashed out window was taken sometime in mid June.

Those two things never happened contemporaneously. And then the fucking underlying credit for it is all just made up. It's a goddamn fiction because that event never fucking occurred. So you can't label a photo which never fucking happened with anything other than a goddamn lie.

It is an impossibility to do. You're not even editorially choosing a photo that is the most unflattering, right? Because you could easily work your way through a Getty image slew of photos to choose the most unflattering images. And this happens all the time in the press where they constantly choose the worst image. I remember seeing on Twitter a few times where they show somebody who gets arrested for something and they show the worst image of them and like pointing their gun at a camera on Facebook or something instead of just their mugshot or something. You know what I mean? Like they'll go out of their way to depict this person as a dangerous person or, you know, you could have easily, I'm sure, gone bad, right? But might be minuscule in comparison to the rest of the things that were happening, right?

So that you could have millions of peaceful protesters, but five people burn a fucking lunchbox and you got to like take a picture of that. That could color the entire thing. At least in that case, that's a real thing that happened at the protest, right? This is 100% fabricated. This is not anything that really happened.

This is you laying multiple layers of scary onto each other to try to make and instill fear in your viewers. And it's just as bad as a deep fake. It's just as bad as all that other stuff. It's just as bad as lying to your audience and pretending that something's real when it's not. I interacted with somebody recently who was absolutely terrified about what was going on at the Seattle protests. So I know that this stuff is effective. for us as a democracy, right?

We rely, because you have no choice is why, we rely on media to present to us information we did not see firsthand. And the most, up until relatively recently, like the most reliable way of knowing something was true was to see pictures and video of things, right? And there was some kind of editorial responsibility that media has always understood that it had to the democracy. And to your point, have they always made biased editorial decisions? Abso-fucking-lutely. But it is a new and more

terrifying world when you create a truth, when you create new facts and report them as if they're true. Images are new facts reported as truth, right? You don't have to write words that are untrue under an image. The image is the most powerful thing that we sell, which is why a picture is worth a thousand words, right? We know that. As people, we are visual creatures. Like most of our fucking brain is like seeing stuff. Seeing is believing, all this.

It's built into how we know and what we trust. And when you as the media manipulate what we see in order to change what we think, in order to misrepresent reality, that is like, that company should be put out of business. That company should be disbanded. There should be, like, there should be legal consequences

where it's like, you don't get to be on air anymore. You're gone. You have a responsibility to the American people not to fucking lie to them about what's happening. And when you create a new reality

through the use of this editorialized imaging and then you sell it to me as a true thing that never fucking happened. Get the fuck out of here. And that's, and that's the thing is that it's, it's, we're at a point right now where even this same week, um,

Tucker Carlson, uh, there was, there was people saying that he doesn't have any, uh, he doesn't have any, uh, he shouldn't,

he shouldn't feel like he needs to have to tell the truth all the time. That he can be, that he's doing an editorial and he's not, he's not necessarily conveying to you the truth. And you're like, this entire network has since, and you know, look, there's, there was a time I think maybe five or 10 years ago where I would have said, yeah, well, it came from Fox News. It's clearly biased, but at least I know it's true. Now I can't say that anymore. Now I can't say, well, I know it's biased, but I don't know if it's true. I don't know if it's a genuine thing anymore. And I don't know that I can say that anymore. And I think, you know, we've got to make sure that there's some kind of safeguards in our future. I think

that the future of legislators and other people that get into office need to look forward and say, we need to protect the information that comes out of this country. And we need to make sure that there are valuable places where people can trust that the information is coming from. And if they can't get it from that place and that place has proven to be false, then they need to have certain things stripped away. I think that's what the FCC should be doing. Man, like, I think if you are working for a news organization

and you manipulate an image, like, you should go to prison. Yeah. Like, that should be a criminal offense. It should be, and it should be a personal criminal offense.

You should not be able to hide behind the, I was just working for the company. Like, you should be afraid to do that. Your boss tells you to do that, you should be like, fuck. Because I'll tell you what, like, if I find out a bunch of, because we protect our money better.

Yeah, we do. If I find out information and I use that to go buy stocks, that's insider trade, right? Unless you're a senator. You know what I mean? Right, exactly, right? So, like, we protect money. We protect our financial systems. Well, I mean, you know what I mean? Right, exactly, right? So like we protect money. We protect our financial systems.

We don't protect our information systems in the same way. And like if one thing is criminal, then the other fucking thing should be criminal because one thing is like, you know, like what are some of, like there are typically big key events that push us into wars as a nation, right? Like the Gulf of Tonkin incident led to the Vietnam War. The burning of the Reichstag led to the rise of power for the Nazis, right?

Like there are key incidents which kick things off. And they kick things off because when people hear that they happened, it galvanizes them to act. What if they never fucking happened? Right. You can be manipulated. We can be manipulated into going to act. What if they never fucking happened? You can be manipulated. We can be manipulated into going to war. We can be manipulated into not

going to war by shit that never even happened because you can't know. Because you can't know what's happened. You're absolutely right. And that's... But the thing is, why would you do it? It's so easy to find out if that's real. I mean...

Because it has the effect before it gets debunked. Right, that's absolutely it. You know, the million people will see the original article and 10,000 people will see the correction. So we want to thank our patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank our newest patrons. Bruinescindy, Bruinescindy, I don't know how to say that. I'm mispronouncing it. Miriam, Phil, and it's Phil McCracken. Thank you very much. That's pretty great. Lord Elpis. I got fisted by Jesus and the people who up their pledges, David, Kathy, Katie, Emmanuel, Active Reason.

Of course, I'm anti-fascist, and Steven. Thank you so much for your generous donations. We really do truly appreciate it. In these trying, troubling, and confusing, and sometimes uncertain times, it is very nice to know that we have a bunch of people who are willing to make sure that this show continues.

So if you want to become a patron, you go to dissonancepod.com, click on the Patreon link, or you can go to patreon.com slash dissonancepod. Become a patron on a per-episode basis. We will love you forever for it. If not forever, at least for a long time. Yeah, I mean, and I long for Tom and I. An adequate

amount of time. A perfectly serviceable amount of time. So I want to mention a few emails we got. We got a message from Chad, who told us to keep it up. He said he listened to 528 and he said, you read an email about appreciating you talking about more heavy topics. I want to get my feedback. I know you guys did some funny stories a couple weeks ago and I'm okay with shows like that now and again, but I'd really like you guys to talk

about this anger and rage that you guys are dealing with. Here's the thing. I am happy to talk about the police situation in the world. I'm also happy to talk about the police situation in the world I'm also happy to talk about Black Lives Matter and things like that where Tom and I drew the line was every week we were talking about COVID for hours and hours

like five episodes in a row where we just talked about COVID stuff and it started getting boring to talk about so we just gave up so if the news cycle shifts back to 24 hours of COVID coverage, Tom and I are going to keep doing goofy stories. And actually, to be honest, we've added goofy stories regardless of what the political climate is because they're just fun to do. So we are having fun putting in some goofy stories,

but we are also peppering it with some important stuff that's happening, some political stuff, as well as some current events know, current events stuff. We're just trying, like today there was more COVID stuff than normal, but we are trying to stay a little bit away from the COVID stuff because it just gets to the point where it's the same conversation over and over again.

Yeah. Got a message from Marissa. It was a very nice long message. We hope you're doing okay in Minnesota, Marissa. We know it's difficult to live up there right now with all the unrest that's happening. And we hope that you are surviving with you and your family.

So best of luck to you. Stay safe up there, Marissa. Absolutely. Got a message from, this is from, and now I don't know how in the world this is pronounced Neve, by the way. I have no idea how N-I-A-M-H is pronounced Neve. No, you just look at it, spell it randomly,

and say, this is how it's pronounced. That's not, no. No. Anyway, I said last time that you needed to buy a fucking Val, and Neve says, 40% of my name is Vals, just like yours. That's true, but mine are all scrunched up against the wall like yours, okay? So it's different. Mine are spaced out. Yours are all scrunched up against the wall like yours, okay? So it's different. Mine are spaced out.

Yours are all scrunchy. But anyway, Neve asks, what the fuck's the deal with giant worms, Tom? Yeah, so that actually is from an old, old episode. I think of Everyone's a Critic where a bunch of researchers funded a trip or an expedition into the Mongolian desert to find Mongolian death worms. I remember this, yeah. Which are a cryptozoological nonsense creature. Yeah.

Yeah. So that is an old reference throwing back to the Mongolian death worm, which I think like shits fire or something and has like acid brains or something. It spits fire. It lives underground. It livesits fire. It can like, it can like lives underground. It has like, it like lives in the fucking fire swamp. It's the dumbest shit you've ever seen.

It's like dune worms. Yeah, exactly. They're like dune worms that attack people. It's the dumbest shit. Right. And they funded a thing for it. And Tom thought it was so stupid.

He wrote a poem about it. Yeah. And it's one of the highlights of that poem. Giant worms. It really is. Just yelling giant worms. Giant worms. Everyone asks about that and the dolphins. like if you don't know like yeah the dolphins is also that's the dolphin people who like to shit out babies around dolphins right birth babies birth

babies are dolphins yeah that that comes from like the people that think that dolphins are fucking mystical goddamn like sea creatures of love and not like apex predators of the ocean yeah and there are people that will go into the sea where dolphins are present in order to have a water birth in the ocean surrounded bleeding by fucking yeah like by apex pride. Like, fucking... Chumming the water with your baby. That's good shit. That's good shit. That is a real thing.

Yeah. So we got a message from Matt who said, my experience almost becoming a cop. This person was going through sort of trying to figure it out and they wound up going on a ride along and the person,

the officer who's riding in the car, they pull up to the car that's a little bit beat up. They specifically were targeting cars that were beat up. And they said, even before he left the car, he told me he was going to ask if they had weed in the car because he smelled it. And so he already made up a story about how he opens the door and is going to say, is there weed in this car? I smell it. This guy went to high school with, started to become a police officer. He was planning to become a police officer. And he went to where Tom and I met. We met at a junior college. Tom and I met at Joliet Junior College. And this guy was going to the

Joliet Junior College Law Enforcement Associates degree. That's what he was getting. And so he was going through those classes. And I remember him telling me when he came out of class, because we used to drive back and forth to school on occasion together. And he was like a childhood friend of mine. And I remember him telling me, yeah, we talked about today, we talked about the high-speed chases. And he said, one of the cops in the room that was teaching the class said, if you pull over somebody after a high-speed chase, everybody that was chasing them gets a lick, is what he said. And now I know that he didn't make that up

because that's not how my friend talked. My friend would never say, gets a lick. That doesn't, that's not a thing. That's like a boomer thing, right? That's not a thing that he would ever consider. I would have never heard him say that. He's clearly parroting what this other police officer said but this police officer was like everybody gets to beat the shit out of this guy because there was contempt to cop

this guy wasn't pulling over and we get to all take a lick on him and this was this was i think before rodney king so or right around that time so there was no real danger of a you know someone filming you so they back in those days, they'd beat the shit out of you. And, and he, he so much as admitted it to me while we were talking. So, you know, that's the kind of training that you can expect to happen in some of these. And I'm not saying all the trainings like that, but, but that's, that's two examples. And I'm sure we've got a bunch of other ones in the email where they, that's just, that's how it happens. That's it. They just train you badly. Yeah.

And you train that and like, that's the culture. You said it from the get go. Like you said it from like, from the jump. That's the expectation. Got a message from Christian and Christian said, hey guys, it's worth talking about that politics inherently involves compromise, presuming that the Democrats had at least enough spine to fight for the 50-50 split to get a moderate policy, you would have to ask for an extreme one. That's why Bernie's platform was inherently better. He would have never gotten most of those things

passed into law, but he would have got a 50-50 compromise, which would have been more moderate. If we didn't get Medicare for all, he would have gotten price controls on medications. We probably wouldn't have gotten total student loan forgiveness, but we probably would have compromised

down to Warren's plan, et cetera. Now, first off, I don't believe that for a second, okay? So that's number one. I do not believe that that's the case at all. I remember all the things that people had planned to do for all the years that any person was a president, and they said that they were going to try to do out loud, and almost none of it comes to fruition. Yeah. First of all, I think that's making an assumption on the 50-50 scale, which I don't

know is historically based in anything. What I do know is that every single thing that every president on either side of the aisle tries to get done is part of their agenda. They maybe get one big thing every four years, maybe if they're lucky. That's what you get. We are a country in crisis. We're in stasis, actually. We're in a crisis of stasis. So this idea that, well, Bernie's platform is better because he would have gotten parts.

He would have gotten these compromised parts. Yeah, you don't know that. And there's no historical analog which should inform you otherwise. Like, most presidents can get one signature thing achieved in their entire eight-year two-term presidency. That's it. George W. Bush got one thing accomplished. His second thing he tried to get accomplished in his second term was to privatize

social security, if you remember. It failed miserably. It never got off the ground. He invaded countries instead. Well, I mean, look, President Trump has gotten his tax cut. President Trump got his tax cut? And then you start looking at the other stuff.

I mean, he had for two straight years, House and Senate, he had enough votes to get things done and he didn't. And so, I mean, the only thing he did do was get Supreme Court appointees and federal court appointees. And those are very important, right? Those are, you cannot stress enough

how important those things are. Well, and could anything tell us how important that is more than this week when three major decisions were handed down and two of them were shocking? Shocking. Absolutely shocking. Yeah. Like if you cannot see any, this is legitimate, if you cannot see any difference between Biden and Trump, one, I don't think you're being honest or looking very hard, but if you literally can't see any difference, you still have to vote Biden and you still have to vote because the Supreme court is still going to be filled up. It is still like federal judges are still going to be appointed.

Like those jobs, maybe the president is going to be a lame duck asswipe. Maybe. Fine. But part of the job of president is to appoint other people who have jobs, powerful, important, influential jobs that will last a generation. And you have a responsibility to make sure you do the best job you can in getting the right people in those positions of power and authority because that will affect your life. I got to ask the audience though, and this is for the people who are not planning on voting Biden, right? These are the people who specifically planned to vote for Bernie or whoever. I want to ask you, how much, and I want a genuine answer. I don't want you to,

and I don't want any kind of bullshit speculation or some kind of pie in the sky answer. I want a real answer from you. How much of his platform did you think he was going to get done? How much do you think Bernie was going to be able to walk into the presidency and say, I want the, I think the biggest thing he was talking about was money, the school money, you know, people getting, you know, money, you know, abolishing student debt, and then also talking about Medicare for all. How much of that other stuff do you think he'd get done? Now, I will say one thing I know for sure he would have gotten done because he would have done it by executive order was the environmental stuff he was planning on doing. And that's why I liked him more than I liked Biden because Biden plans to do that through Congress. And while that is probably a better

long-term solution, we need short-term solutions for the environment. The environment needs short-term solutions. So I was 100% behind Bernie when it came to that. And to be perfectly honest, I was 100% behind a lot of Bernie's policies. So don't get me wrong. I am not picking on those policies. I liked those policies. I wanted those policies to come fruition. But I also think I was realistic in the idea that I didn't think they were going to happen. It's nice to think about, and it's a nice pie in the sky thing to be like, man, we elect this guy. Maybe he can get something done. But if I'm realistically talking to you, I never thought for sure he was going to be able to pass any of the things that he had said he was going to do. But I am very curious to find out how much of that you're saying that people, that someone

would have done. Because there's, I think there's a better chance for Biden to pass things because he is more center, centrist, middle of the road. Yeah. I think in terms of like actually accomplishing things, like a centrist is more likely to accomplish it. Yeah. See, so I want to address like to the idea when it comes to voting and we won't, we won't go too far down this road, but I've seen it a bunch of times this last week where people say things like, you know, I'm not going to vote because I don't like the candidates. A candidate has to earn my vote. Yeah. And I've seen that so many times and I want to address that a little bit. Like that's so selfish. Yeah. That is an incredibly, incredibly narcissistic, selfish way to think about the civic responsibility that is voting. You have a civic responsibility to be a member, a citizen member of this nation.

And you have a civic responsibility to look out for other people. And one of the ways that you can look out for other people is through your vote. Yeah. That is your responsibility to do. That's not some thing somebody owes you and then you grant it to them. Look, these choices are being made whether you engage the choices or not.

Yeah, they're going to be made, yeah. Your responsibility to yourself and to other groups and minorities and disempowered people and future generations is to engage the civic process. That is your responsibility. It's not some entitlement you can choose to accept or reject. I don't think that that's ethical. I just don't. I think it is an unethical action to not vote. I think that is a shrugging off of a civic responsibility that we all then have to shoulder the burden of when those responsibilities come to fruition. Got a message from, this is from John from California, and he

said, change defund the police. He started using defang the police. I like that. That's a good little slogan. Got an image from Casey. We're going to put it on this week's show notes. It's about teachers and police officers. This episode is 529. We also got another image. This is from Ulfie, and Ulfie sent in an image of grandma. We're going to put that on 529. Check it out

on the show notes, dissonancepod.com. We got a message from Joseph, and he was talking about spiders, and he said that one time there was a brown recluse that crawled under his patio door. He stomped on it and then he saw tiny dots spill out of it. There were hundreds of baby spiders running around.

And so he had to squash them by jabbing his index finger onto the ground, smashing the little spiders. That's so disgusting. Nope, nope. God damn. Nope. Yeah, that's a hard nope, man. That's so disgusting. Nope. Nope. God damn. Nope. Yeah, that's a hard nope, man. That's just a fucking hard nope. No, you get a new house

when that happens. Yeah, you just burn that shit down. You just leave. That's the spider's house now. Yeah. We got a message from Kaya and Kaya said that their husband was a prison guard and basically that drummed out of the profession because they

wound up going to superiors when people would cut corners and be, uh, be violent and be shitty. And so they went to superiors and they got drummed out of the profession. They wound up getting replaced because they were just too much trouble to have around. And that's why you don't follow the rules. Yep.

You write down the rules. Then you do a totally different thing when no one's looking. Exactly. Right. Yeah. Got a message from Paul and Paul says, he's saying, what the fuck? One bad apple spoils the barrel is the correct phrase. A few bad apples is the shittiest defense for police ever. It's so true. People always forget the spoils the barrel part of that equation. It's funny because when that started kind of popping up,

my wife said the same thing. It's like, that's not the saying. And so then I actually Googled it. It's interesting because that saying has this really long history of meaning one thing and being used for another. And in the 1970s, it changed. And now a more common telling of that proverb is actually don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch.

Don't do it. And that changes it, right? Yep. So, but yeah, the original proverb prior to this shift in usage in the 70s was one bad apple spoils the bunch. Ben Franklin actually has said it. Like proverbs were a much bigger deal

in the past than they are now. Yeah. Did he fly one on a kite? He did. Fly a spoiled apple on a kite? Spoiled the whole fucking thing. Spoiled the whole fucking bunch.

So we are going to be doing a live stream next week. We do live stream every 9 p.m. Central on YouTube, Mixer, Twitch, Facebook, etc. Next week, it's our great hope that I'm going to be doing the spam. So I have a spam video

that I'm going to produce this weekend and we will show the spam video, me trying spam for the first time. We can't live stream it, but I will record a video of me trying it for the first time. We can't live stream it, but I will record a video of me trying it for the first time, and then we will play it on next week's live stream. So you're going to want to join us. Check it out. We'll probably show it mid-stream.

So we won't show it right when the stream starts, but we will show it maybe after the first story or something. So come check it out if you want to see me try spam for the first time. 9 p.m. Central. A lot of fun. We have a good time on these streams. You're going to want to check it out. That's 9 p.m. Central, a lot of fun. We have a good time on these streams. You're going to want to check it out. That's 9 p.m. Central every Thursday

on Twitch, Mixer, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. That's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal

free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cars psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards vaccine nuts shaman healers evangelistsists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive.

Doubt even this. the opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only all opinions are solely that of glory hole studios llc cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy completeness current, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local Dairy council and viewers like you.