Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 530: Boomy McWhaleface

Episode Date: June 29, 2020

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This is episode 530 of Cognitive Dissonance, Cecil. How's the working from home going? It's all right. You know, it's not bad. I'm up earlier, at my desk longer, but other other than that it's all right you know on occasion for lunch I'll take a nap so that's nice oh that is nice an hour you know you're just like yeah it's it's an hour I'm not doing anything I'll take a nap you know what about you that is a good idea uh yeah I it's it's it's okay it's I'm starting to kind of find a rhythm between balancing the

going to the office and working from home piece so I think I could find a way to like doing it part time you know what I mean like it has I will say like some days it has it's perks that's for sure a huge part of my job is being

on the phone and I have found that I can be on the phone in a hamm have found that I can be on the phone in a hammock nice for example that's super awesome I can be on the phone driving somewhere

that I want like I can be like oh I got an appointment like oh I'm just on the phone I can go make that appointment yeah I'm just on the phone yeah

right yeah so if I'm gonna be on the phone four hours a day I can I'm a lot more mobile when I don't feel chained to a room

that I have to stand in. And the hammock is the fucking money. That's how you do it. Dude, the hammock is terrific. That's how you fucking do it. Yeah. That's, that's where it's at. Yeah.

So, um, and I do like not having a commute. I will say like. Not, no commute. I don't have a commute normally. I mean, my commute's small-ish. It's like 20 minutes walk to work. Um, so it's not terrible, but, but it still is totally different than getting ready to go to the office, which is all the things you have to do in the morning to get all your

clean clothes on and get a food in you and all the things you have to do to get to leave, which is where you don't have to do that. You could just get in a shower, get into your work pajamas and come on here and do your work pajamas. And I can eat at my desk. I can decide I'm not hungry now. I'll eat at 10 instead of eight or whatever. There's a lot of freedom that comes with it, which is nice. But I do notice that there's some annoyances, especially on teams. I'll catch some annoyances where someone will send a message and be like, I expected you to answer this momentarily. Motherfucker, I was up cooking myself some lunch or I was away. I was reading something that she wanted me to read. And I came back to my computer

and I wasn't there the second you, everybody expects instant communication now, which is, I think, tiresome. And I was like, I want to roll that back. Like, I'd like to roll that back. Because before people would send me an email and I would be like, I'll get to it when I get to it. And now it's, well, I sent you a team's message. You should respond to me in nanoseconds or else I'm going to be furious about it. You should have anticipated that I was going to send it to you and had the answer before I asked the question. I don't even know why, why are you even here? You know, I, you didn't put this in the notes Tom, but I would like to talk for a second before we get started about NASCAR. Have you heard about the NASCAR stuff that's going on?

Yeah, about how they banned the Confederate flag. Yeah, the Confederate. Yeah, I want to talk about the flag for a second. I fucking hate that loser flag and I've hated that loser flag my whole life. I don't remember a single moment in my life where I thought, there's a great flag. I always thought, God, what a loser, shitty, garbage flag. And it's not that I'm a patriot, an American

patriot, where I'm like, oh, you went after again against the American government. We're never going to fly your flag. I don't care. You're a traitor, but you're a traitor to humanity if you fly that flag. You're a traitor to humanity because you think slavery is okay. And if you don't think that's true, look at the fucking articles of Confederation where they say you can't outlaw slavery in the Articles of Confederation, right? Well, like, read what the guy who designed the flag said. Yeah. Like, read what, like, Jefferson Davis, the fucking president of the Confederacy, said the Confederacy was all about. Like, I know we talked about this when we did the Lost Cause episode

of the Citation Needed. But it's like, these guys, when they try to like, oh, it's about Southern pride. It's like, first of all, name three things you have to be proud about in the South. You know, like seriously, like you should be proud.

I teach my boys this all the time. You should only be proud of things that you have accomplished or influenced, right? You shouldn't be proud of happenstance. Right, right. You should be grateful for happenstance. If you're proud of happenstance, you're a fucking idiot and you're doing pride wrong.

Sure, sure. So you're in the South. Yeah. What do you have? Yeah. Look around and you're like proud of the South's heritage. Everything you did was a mistake. Somebody had to teach you not to do yeah that's like a dog shitting on the floor and being proud that it gets whacked in the nose with a newspaper god it's so true about that it's so true too and

it's and it's what is with racist and loser flags the fucking naz Nazi flag is a loser flag. Like you lost. Like you definitively lost. Like that flag. Boom. Remember there's a fucking great shot of them exploding that fucking flag off of the fucking building.

There's a reason why everybody rejoices for that. And now these fucking inbred idiots run around like our country with that dumb fucking Nazi flag walking around with a Nazi flag all over the place. You're like, the Nazi flag? Like we didn't even know. The only

stake we ever had in the Nazi flag was trying to tear it down. Like that's the only stake the United States ever had in that. But now they're, it's like they're waving it and trying to show people that that's what they support. And then the fucking, the other dumb racist Confederate flag, get rid of it. And I'm so glad that there are certain institutions, which I thought were never going to pay attention to that flag as a symbol of hate and looking at it and saying, get rid of that fucking thing. We don't need that thing anymore. Good for them. NASCAR has come out as more progressive than the NFL. And you're just like, how is that possible? They stood behind, they have one black driver. They stood behind the one black driver NASCAR has come out as more progressive than the NFL. And you're just like, how is that possible?

They stood behind, they have one black driver. They stood behind the one black driver, did the Confederate flag thing. They marched with him when they thought they found a noose in his garage, which turned out to not be directed at him, but it was still a noose. I mean, it was still a noose. It was still the only noose, but it just, there was no way to know that it was, he wasose. I mean, it was still a noose. It was still the only noose, but it just, it was, there was no way to know

that it was, he was going to be assigned that garage. It was just tied that way. Can we touch on that real quick? Yeah. I know, because I read about the story

just like, and like, I know that like, that noose was not put in the garage in order to like, intimidate Bubba. Yeah.

Right? I get that. The second half of that is, why did you put a noose somewhere? Yeah. Right. You know, like I,

I don't, I'm not even saying that it's for racist shit, but I'm just like, man, take a long, hard look at yourself when you're like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to tie a noose.

Yeah. Cause that's hilarious. And I'm just going to leave it there for like a year. Because like the FBI was like, yeah, we found footage and pictures and it's credible. And like this noose has been hanging in this garage as like an engine pole or whatever for like, but they said it's clearly a noose. The knot was tied. It's different than any other pole, they said.

But yeah, but it's not. Yeah. Well, you're just, okay. You know, maybe that's not the knot that you tie. Like maybe go back to boy scouts and check your fucking badge. Figure out a different, figure out a different one. You know, maybe you're tying it to be edgy, whatever. I don't even know.

But the thing, the good thing is, is that they all came out in support of him. Right. So like, they think even, even though they, they thought it was some kind of, of way that someone was attacking him or trying to intimidate him. And all those people walked with him and said, fuck you. No, we're not going to do that. That's not what we are. And I was like, they were calling the fucking people who kneeled during the national anthem for the NFL, sons of bitches. You know, the president called them sons of bitches, you know? Yeah. And you can talk about like just an awful reaction on one sport versus the other one, which has been so welcoming.

I'm like super happy that they're getting rid of that shitty flag. And I hope they make it so that it's one of those things that when you see, you look at the person, you're like, and it's like a Nazi flag now where you look at it and you're like, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? Don't fucking, what are you waving that thing for? Yeah, I really hope it does achieve the same because i think like in the north and i think like among like honestly i think among like educated people it does have the same cachet like there's no way if i saw somebody waving a confederate there's no way i would let my kids play at a house that had a confederate absolutely not yeah you know what i mean like there's no world where, like, I'm going to be like, oh, that, like, truck with the fucking Confederate flag on it.

Like, you can't go over there. Like, those aren't people. Like, we only associate with people. Yeah, man. That's scum. Yeah. So, like, I do think that, like, it's becoming more and more of that. I also kind of love that we're tearing down all these statues.

Yeah, fuck those statues. And, like, I know that, like, the counterargument is like, well, that's our history. It's like, no, no, statues. And like, I know that like the counter argument is like, well, that's our history. It's like, no, no, no. That's not what a statue is. A statue is not a nuanced conversation about the place that someone had in shaping our national narrative. That's not what a fucking statue is. Right. A statue is a celebration of somebody. That's what a statue is. It just fucking is. Like you put up statues of people that you think are fucking baller, right?

And then like when people swoop in and they're like, hey, we don't like Saddam Hussein. They tear that statue down, right? Like if you go to fucking North Korea, there's nothing but fucking statues of the fucking great leader everywhere. Who did you just say?

What's his name? Saddam Hussein? I've never heard of him. They tore his statue down. I didn't know who he was. Oh, yeah. You can't learn the history of somebody without a statue. I forgot about it.

The moment his statue fell, Tom, it was wiped from my memory. I didn't realize that there was a guy named Saddam. Can you tell me about him? What did he do? I can't. I don't know. I tried to Google him. It just said, no results found.

It's just sort of statue on its side. It to google him it just said no results found it's just sort of statue on its side it actually says it says no results found it just has a crying statue yeah it's just a statue crying you know the other thing too is when people say well it's just to tell the history say okay cool well then why is that fucker on his fucking horse all fucking pompous ass

horse with his sword up instead of like lynching 40 black people you know what I mean right like if you're. If you're going to tell history through statues, why are you telling the heroic version of that fucking douchebag? Fuck that guy. Fuck all those guys. Every single one of them was not, and I'm not saying they're a traitor to the United States because I don't care, right? I don't care about that. They were traitors to humanity and i don't fucking want to ever see a slaver statue exist the end the end did you see they're taking down the statue of uh teddy roosevelt in front of the natural history museum in new york yeah yeah and i i didn't know

so this was this was interesting so there's a statue of teddy roosevelt um in front of the natural history museum in new New York and has Teddy Roosevelt mounted on a horse, you know, very proudly and gallant and all that shit. And then walking next to him in a clearly hierarchical fashion, there's a black guy and an Indian, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. I did see that. I've seen that in New York. Yeah. And they're taking that away. Like, that's going away now because the statue clearly represents the hierarchy of imperialism over those people that have been colonized and used by imperialists. Right. And I think it's fucking terrific.

I think it's fucking terrific. Like maybe that's not something like that's not a subtle message. Right. Yeah. It's not a subtle message. Like, hey, what's that white guy on the horse with a gun doing like lording over the black guy in the Indian? Oh, I don't know. America definitely doesn't have a troublesome history of that shit.

The fuck? And people are up in arms about it. Fuck that. All their arguments are fucking liar's arguments. Yeah. You know what I mean? They're like, oh, man, you're taking away our history. Now we're never going to know anything about Teddy Roosevelt.

You're never going to hear the name Roosevelt anymore. If the statue isn't there to remind you that it was a thing, you'll never hear it again. You're like, what do you just walk around and look at statues all day? Are you three? What is wrong with you? I couldn't even tell you, Tom. I know there's a statue three blocks west of me in Chicago.

I literally cannot tell you what it's a statue of. I know it's a statue three blocks west of me in Chicago. I literally cannot tell you what it's a statue of. I know it's a dude on a horse. I've run up that hill working out with my gym hundreds of times. I literally could not tell you who it is. Can't tell you. I don't know. Maybe Van Buren. I don't even know who that is.

I'll give it a second. Maybe. I know for sure in Chicago, they have Christopher Columbus statues, and they also have Balbo statues and so other stuff. So it might be one of those, but I literally never even looked at it. I've run up that hill hundreds of times and never once looked at it. And that's, I can think about my whole life like that. Yeah. See, I'm exactly the opposite. I only learn from statues. Like I actually will refuse to learn anything if it's not presented to me

in statue form. In statue form. Yeah, no, that's solid. That's the way to do it. So like, if you wanted to say, teach me a recipe, you would have to make a statue

of each step. That's perfect. Of the recipe. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. And then etch a plaque of all of the things I'm supposed to. Otherwise, how would I know anything?

How on earth could you learn? Without a statue, what would I know? It's impossible. You know what? The only way to actually listen to the lion, the witch and the wardrobe is to sit in front of the art museum downtown

and sit in front of one of those lions and then have the lion read it to you. That's the only actual way that you can do it. So that's the only statue I really know of in Chicago, to be honest. That and like the Picasso, which is just an abstract statue. It's like a piece of art.

I remember being a little kid and going to the Natural History Museum and going to that, like to the lion statue. And I want to do what all the kids did was like climb on it, you know? And I remember walking up to the statue and being like,

it has balls! Like making like a great thing. I was like, I was like blown away that it wasn't like, it has balls! Like, making like a creepy thing. I was like, I was like blown away that it wasn't like all of the toys that you have. All the toys you have as a kid are fucking neutered. They're all gender neutral. They're just like fucking smooth down there. They're all smooth.

I remember I walked up to the thing and I was like, what's got balls? Magic Mouth inserts comfortably between the cheeks of the buttons where Gats normally escapes. So instead of this, you hear this. No one knows more about politics than Bill Maher. 200 polished expressions supplied by the editorial staff of the New Yorker magazine. Well, Mr. Harris, we've got your number and we'll give you a call.

Did you see Charlie Rose last night? Why, Mr. Harris, we've got your number and we'll give you a call. Did you see Charlie Rose last night? Why, yes. Magic, man. It's like having a professor up your butt. So this story comes from the Phoenix New Times. Phoenix megachurch hosting Trump rally says it has special coronavirus killing air system. Nice. That's cool.

The best part about this article is how bitchy it's written. Oh, yeah. So I want to read. There's a part of it that is just like one of my favorite things. Can we play them saying it out loud first? Because I can play them. I'll play them saying it and then we'll talk about it. So let me play it. There's two, they're going to talk about it twice.

So they're going to talk about it, I think on two different days and this is edited. So it's been, because they took it down from their Instagram or wherever it was, but the paper had gotten a hold of it ahead of time. And so there's going to be two edits in here, one piece, uh, and then a silence. And then the other piece. Hey gang, we have some exciting information about what we're doing to fight COVID-19, uh, here at Dream City Church. So they're talking about what they did is they flashed on the screen that they're going to talk about their heating and cooling system. So that's what flashed on the screen. It's a clean air EXP system based on technology developed by church members. And it kills 99.9% of COVID within 10 minutes from independent testing. It's ionization. It's ionization of the air what did you call it hold on it's so good

it's so good listen they say isization and then the other guy's like no no it's actually pronounced there we go this is awesome let's do it again here we go ionization it's ionization of the air. Ah, ionization. These guys can't pronounce it. It's amazing. So let me play it out. Let me play the rest of it. I do want to hear that one more time. It's from independent testing.

It's ionization. Ionization. It's ionization of the air and it takes particulates out and COVID cannot live in that environment. So when you come into our auditorium, 99% of COVID is gone, killed if it was there in the first place. So you can know when you come here,

you'll be safe and protected. Thank God for great technology and thank God for being proactive. Yeah, I love that God didn't, first off, God's not figuring it out. One, God doesn't exist.'t, God's not, first off, God's not figuring it out. One, God doesn't exist. Two, God is not an engineer. Okay.

What I love about this is that, first of all, the guys explaining it clearly don't understand how it works. Oh, yeah, no. Yet, they're the ones explaining it. Yeah. So, that's always my favorite. It's like, it works by. It's ionization. Reads card.

Ionization. Ironically. It's ironic. Like I love that shit, but then I also love like everything is wrong with what they're saying. Okay. Let's imagine Cecil just for the sake of fucking giggles that you had in your building, something that could suck up all of the air and clean all of the air.

And it would take 10 minutes to do that, right? Okay. So I would turn that on before anybody came in. And then all the air in that room would have no COVID-19, which is probably the amount of fucking COVID-19 in an empty building anyway. Sure. Then I would pack it full of 3,000 people who are breathing next to each other. No, Tom, don't you realize that all your air has its marching orders? It needs to go through the

recirculator before it goes into another person. It's not allowed to go person to person. It only can go up to the cold air return through the filter and then come out that's how air works yeah like you know what lots of things are sterile until you interact with them yeah yeah like yeah what what what are you fucking even saying like you know like if you go to vegas they have spared no expense to suck the fucking air out of that place and treat every one of those casinos. And every fucking casino in Vegas smells like it fucking got ashed on. Like, because you can smoke in them. No amount of sucking that air out.

No amount of money. And Vegas shits money at problems like no place else on earth, right? Way more than the fucking phoenix ultra mega church exp.com yeah and it's still all it has to do is take this the particulates of smoke out which are not even nanoparticles like a virus yeah and it still smells like a fucking homeless person threw up cigarette butts everywhere are you you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, man. No, they don't.

Just to say it out loud, to say the room is safe. It's like, yeah, well, that girl was a virgin until I fucked her. Like you're like, okay. But someone's inside now. That's exactly right. Like, do they think that

COVID just like hangs out in places waiting for people like a like a fucking virus tiger and you have to like

give a special rock that keeps virus tigers away do you have one of those do you have one though I do because if you do you do

we might be able to to figure out a way to sell them the thing is it's up Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina right now. Hey guys, there's Patreon goal, COVID rock. Well, in this article, they talk about bipolar ionization and how they're using it in certain places.

And I guess that it is sometimes effective or whatever, but they never once said it was bipolar ionization. They just said it was ionization or whatever they said. They didn't even say it right. You can do a lot of things if you have some ionization. But they never say out loud. And what I love too is on the website for this particular brand of air conditioner

or air filter system that they have. They had initially said that it kills COVID-19 and then they had to go back and put a new thing on there that said, no, it kills something like COVID-19,

basically the cough, the common cold. It kills that, but it never said that it kills COVID-19. It kills something close to it. And it's like, that's genuine Rolex. I mean, that's a genuine fake Rolex.

I had to roll that shit back. I think that shit is great. Can you imagine, like think about like how big a place is that holds 3000 people. Yeah. Just imagine, picture in your head the size of a space that holds 3,000 people. And then picture in your head how much air would you have to suck into this unit?

How fast to change all the air in 10 minutes? Right, right. It would be like a fucking wind tunnel in that place. You're just like, everybody's just arms are waving in the air like the wacky waving inflatable arm-failing tomb man just so i i love i love that the guy who wrote this article um says the system achieves this bit of magic with air ionization a word that the pair mangle as they try to pronounce it i just fucking love this all right like whoever wrote this was like okay that's some fucking bullshit you know what larry assign me to the fucking church people again i'm gonna

write this fucking article the way i want to write this article larry that was totally uncalled for for what she did like to pay attention pay attention, like, who is she? Is she God? No. So don't ever tell me to pay attention. I am paying attention. Obviously, there has to be something else. It does not mean changed and arrested. There has to be something else.

While you were stripping, you were stripping. I was arrested. Prostitution whore. You were engaged 19 times. You putitution whore! You are f***ing gay! 19 times! You f***ing f***ing dick! F***ing house! You're coming

to my trap! You f***ing whore! You f***ing f***ing a guy in my f***ing house! You f***ing whore! Wow.

So this story comes from CNBC. This is just, it's one of those examples of just really amazing leadership by example. There should be a textbook written after Trump steps down for the next person to follow to not do. Just everybody should study these moments in history and be like that. Don't. This is like a big international no symbol over everything he's ever done. God.

Trump will not follow New Jersey coronavirus quarantine order. He's not a civilian, White House says. Yeah, you don't have to do that if you have bone spurs. You don't have to. You have bone spurs, you do not have to wear a mask. It impedes the mask. So, yeah, they'll get no, they'll poke a hole through. Yeah, absolutely.

So it's going to be useless. They'll essentially be useless. They'll poke a hole right through the mask. Yeah. So what's particularly galling about this is that it's not only like a do as I say, not as I do. Right. And it's also like, yeah, I know you're the commander in chief, but like, don't get too

fucking big for your britches. You are a fucking civilian. Like we are actually very specifically a country which was established not to have military-style leadership. Yeah. That's actually part and parcel of our whole democratic system

is that we choose someone from among the people rather than being like, you know who should be in charge? Bloodthirsty generals. That's not... Right, right. It's written into our whole history so yeah you actually are a civilian but like also like the only reason he's going to new

jersey is to go to his fucking golfing house like there's no reason for him to go so he's flaunting this fucking order and this is an order that like when he flaunts it other people follow suit yeah because he's basically like that's not important and then lots of people are like unimportant things are by definition not important to me yeah yeah and then they don't do it absolutely all this shit is voluntary because nobody knows when you cross the imaginary border of a state yep because states are imaginary garbage yeah fictions that we just invented to jerk off and say we're libertarians. But I will say that you know when he gets there because he's the president, right? So you do know with him, but him not following it, the reason why he has to go into

this quarantine or should go into this quarantine is because he's coming back from a hotbed of Tulsa, which is where he was just at when he had his rally. And we should talk for a second a little bit about that rally that happened. Last week, we were talking about this on the show and we were talking about the TikTok people and I wasn't sure how it was handled. It turns out I was right. They did issue first come first serve tickets to everybody.

But the greatest part about that is, is that even though they issued all those tickets to everybody. But the greatest part about that is, is that even though they issued all those tickets to everybody, they still were all mostly done by trolls. So there were probably some people with tickets who didn't show up who probably wanted to be there, but that was not a majority of the people. Turns out there was only 6,000 people that showed up. And so he was supposed to have a public address system outside for the overflow. And they were talking. The best part, Tom, was last week when they,

even though they knew the TikTok thing had already happened, they were still talking up the numbers, saying, oh, it's incredible. People's never seen numbers like this before. And you just see it. You just see it happening. You're like, num, num, num, num. Oh, num, it's incredible. People's never seen numbers like this before. And you just see it. You just see it happening. You're like, num, num, num, num. Oh, num, num, num.

You watch it. And I want to actually play. Let me play a clip of him talking about it because it's kind of amazing. Let me play a clip of it. This is Trump talking about the rally that's going to be happening. They have a new, a pretty new, magnificent arena, as you probably have heard.

And we're getting exact numbers out, but we're either close to or over one million people wanting to go. We have a 22,000 seat arena, but I think we're going to also take the convention hall next door and that's going to hold 40,000. So we'll have 22,000 plus 40,000, which would mean that would have over 900,000 people that won't be able to go, but hopefully they'll be watching. But it's an amazing, nobody's ever heard of numbers like this. And we expect to have, you know, it's like a record setting crowd. We've never had an empty seat. an empty seat. I love that part where he's like,

I've never had an empty seat. First of all, that's demonstrably untrue. Other rallies that he's had have been less well attended than he bragged about. But this one is a third. Dude, it's a fucking third full. That, by my estimation, means two thirds not full.

There was so many great things this week. I saw, I don't know if it was Nickelback or whatever, but somebody tweeted and said, Nickelback sold that place out twice. And then there was somebody who posted an image of the Wiggles live and it was sold out. And I was like, the Wiggles live was lit in that motherfucker and you couldn't even get,

and it was the most, it was the, it was a terrible, you know, it's just him just talking about, and that nobody in there is wearing a fucking,

a mask at all. It was just him just being, at one point, he grabs water with his one hand and people pointed out, I don't know. I don't do this with water. Maybe other people do. He's holding his pinky under the water as he's drinking, which I don't do,

but it looked like he was maybe trying to steady it. I can't say. Not only am I not a doctor or a physical therapist or understand that, like if someone had a stroke, if that's what they do, it's just speculation by people. But I will say it's weird. I don't drink. I never, when I pick a glass up, put my pinky underneath the bottom of it to hold it in place. I just grab the glass and just drink out of it. But anyway, that's what he was doing.

And at one point he drinks a glass and then he doesn't set it down. He just throws it off to the side. And the crowd literally cheers. They just, like, it's as if he said, and you get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car. They cheered like you never heard anyone cheer for anything in their life. Yeah, but, like, when I watched that video,

even, like, the cheering at the idea of being vindicated that your leader can drink a glass of water. Yeah. Like, that's the excitement. The excitement here was like, boy, didn't I show you I can drink a glass of water. Yeah. And you're like, woo, we knew he could drink water. And you're like, what the fuck has the world come to?

But also, like, when you watch that video, he brings his head down to the water. And you're like, what the fuck has the world come to? But also like, when you watch that video, he brings his head down to the water. Sure. He still doesn't drink water like normal people. Yeah.

Like, your like, big fucking gotcha moment is like, ah, I'll show those fucking snowflake liberals

that I can drink water like people that hydrate. And then he still does it weird. He still does it wrong and weird. You're so weird. Yeah. Well, so that's what happened there.

He also, at one point, he's talking about it being the Chinese virus. He called it the Kung Flu while he was there on stage. Two wild applause. People went fucking ape shit at that racist shit. Yeah, it's just a, you know,

it's just a jingoistic, shitty, fucking circle jerk. And that's all it is just a, you know, it's just a jingoistic, shitty fucking circle jerk. And that's all it is. And, you know, I don't, what we're seeing right now is the way it looks to us during COVID, it looks like there's a small crowd there. It looks bad for him, but it's COVID. And I have no doubt that that arena would have been full if it were, or close to full probably, if there was no pandemic going on right now. So I don't want

people to think, oh, there was a low turnout of his voters or his base, and that shows that his base is shrinking. I don't want you to think that. I don't want you to think his base is shrinking. I don't want you to think that at all. You want you to think his base is shrinking. I don't want you to think that at all. You've got to keep your pedal on the pedal on the gas the whole way. At this point, you cannot pull up and get complacent and think, Oh, it's no big deal.

His base is shrinking because I'm hearing people are more. There's, there's some people out there that are more behind him than they ever were, which is, that's insane. Like, because then like, and I insane. Like, because then, like,

and I know that like, like the whole like right does not require any internal consistency, but like, it does mean that like two simultaneous things, Cecil,

have to be true. One, that people are afraid of COVID and so they did not attend his rally. And that also, they still support Trump who is telling people not to be afraid of covid it's very true right like so the people who are at the rally are actually more like consistent sure in terms of following the president's this kung flu will pass right yeah

like the people who stay home and still support they're like oh i'm not gonna go because i don't want to get sick from that virus that the president who I support says won't make me sick. Like what the fuck is like, how does your brain wake you up in the morning the, it was a pretty much a flop for him, much smaller than he thought it was going to be. They had said, and you heard the clip where he's talking about how it's going to be outside. We're going to have a public address system. They had to, they had to take the whole,

the whole thing down. Cause they were going to have an outside crowd too. They had to take it all down during his speech. They took it down. Cause there wasn't anybody there. Um, so yeah, so that's,

that's why I just wanted to preface the story by saying, that's why he was there. And that's why he's coming from a place that he should be quarantined from. But now, he's not going to follow those orders because he thinks he's above the law. Another perfect example is this week, when he, by Twitter decree,

said, we're going to be sentencing people who tear down monuments to 10 years in prison or something. And you're like, you don't understand what position you have in the government. Like, it's not your job to make a law. Like, you're not a prince. You don't get to wave your arm and say, it's now a law, you can't do this.

That's not how your job works, man. You can go to Congress and say, hey, I really like this law. And then the legislators could, if they thought so, make that a law. Then they could give it back to you and you could sign it into law. But the process of the making of the law isn't up to you. That's not your job. Yeah, but like, I mean, I'm not 100% sure he understands that. I guarantee he doesn't. I guarantee. Yeah.

I don't think, but here's what scares me about that. I'm not sure how wrong he is because of how powerful executive orders are. Yeah, that's true too. Yeah. You know? And he has said, I'm the president and the president has absolute authority. Do you remember when he said that? Oh, yeah. He said that.

Yeah, yeah. And a lot of people were like, wow, I know you don't. And that? Oh, yeah, he said that. Yeah, yeah. And like, and like a lot of people were like, wow, I know you don't. And it's like, well, you know what? As long as we still have

such a thing as executive order, Yeah. an executive order seems to be this entirely unchecked like version

of power that like was not a thing for most of Sure. American history. Like, that's a Dick Cheney invention. Dick Cheney fucking invented that shit. That's like, we didn't

have that before that. So like, that's gotten out of control. So like I do wonder like, how wrong is he? Because somebody has to challenge him. You know what I mean? Somebody has to stop doing it. There has to be somebody who says, we're not doing this anymore.

And we're going to put a law in that says, you can't do this anymore. Because at this point, it's as if not more powerful than like a line item veto, which we don't allow. Right. You know, it's as if not more powerful because you just exempt yourself from the law.

You just exempt yourself from pieces of law. Yeah, you just decide that the process doesn't matter. Like, yeah, instead of you guys going through all that effort of passing a bill and then I'll be the executive, you know what I'll do is I'll just do a king thing. Yeah. Where's my scepter? I write with a scepter. It's seriously how he treats the presidency.

And it's how he's treated the presidency since the very beginning. And what's crazy to me is the people who still follow him and still think he's like a, I don't know, like a good dude. And you're just like, are you fucking crazy? Do you not see how he's eroding our entire system all the time? And the people will say things like, well, you just have Trump derangement syndrome.

I don't know how many times you've heard this. The TDS, have you seen this? Trump derangement syndrome. I don't know how many times you've heard this. The TDS, have you seen this? Trump derangement syndrome. What they're doing is they're saying, I don't want you to make me feel bad that I supported him. So what I'll do is I'll pass that off onto you. It's now your fault. It's your fault that this is happening.

You have Trump derangement syndrome. Not that Trump has fucking corrupted the office in general, just all the different things that he's done that have changed the office of the presidency for the worse. And people will say things like, oh, that's on you. No, you're just not willing to recognize it because you might've supported him and it makes you feel bad when people point it out. Yeah. I can't think that you're wrong at all about that because it's, it is just a conversation stopper. Yeah. Right. All that kind of shit is, is just a, it's a hundred percent just a conversation stopper. It's like, I no longer have to deal with the merits of your, of your concerns. Yeah. Do you know someone who stands too close, doesn't wear a mask or tells

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finally go fuck themselves by going to adamandeve.com. Remind them you use that offer code GLORY. It's their American civil duty. And rights. And it makes the world a better place. Go fuck yourself, Uncle Carl. Come on, Benny. I know you have this whole I hate dolphins thing. They're the rats of the sea.

But we can't just let it die in the net. Okay. Okay. You can't just let it die in the net. Okay. Oh, you're right! Dolphins are insane! Why did I help this dolphin? You let us die dead!

You let us die dead! This story comes from Vice. You can now swim with robot dolphins to save the real ones from captivity. Wow. All right. Can you swim with robotic giant worms too or no? I read this and I was like, of all the fucking problems we're solving. You know, like, like i love that like there's a part of me that just loves humanity for how fucking like unwilling to let something go oh we are it's amazing so like like the article

kind of suggests that like we're getting to a place where people are starting to wonder if maybe captivity is good for animals like maybe using animals particularly really fucking smart animals and like making them perform for our amusement you know there's some conversation here that's been going on and you could i think people being in isolation yeah yeah saying like yeah yeah i don't like being in. That's a great way to think about it. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe animals also don't like that. And like the dolphin isn't on a Zoom call

with all his freeze dolphin buddies. Like, all right, let's have our happy hour. You know, I wish I could be with you guys. You know how it is. They're not doing that. Yeah. Like, so in the middle of this controversy about like, should you or shouldn't

you be able to like swim with the dolphins there's a guy who's like what if i make a 60 million dollar robot dolphin i'm not even kidding and you could swim with it and it'll seem like you're swimming with a dolphin because it's a really real robot and And it's like, everything is amazing about that. Not only are we unwilling to just say, well, we just don't swim a dolphin. It's like, no, no, no. How about we just don't do that? Yeah, yeah.

What are you saying? No, no, no, no. But then it's also saying like, you know what? Genuine and authentic experiences do not matter. You could just clone one and be like,

I swam with a dolphin. You swam with a robot. Fuck you, Greg. I swam with a dolphin. I swam with a robot dolphin. It's very realistic. It is. I watch this.

It is hyper realistic. The only thing is, is when it squeaks, it sounds like a dial-up modem. So it's different than a normal dolphin, but just by a little, just by a touch. It calls to the mothership.

It's like, beer, beer. It's like, it's like, it's like with the dolphin. All of a sudden it just stops. It's like, dad, did you pick up the phone? You stopped my dolphin. Jesus. I was in the middle of dolphin-ing.

The dolphin's just floating there and then it slowly starts to go on its side. It's just slowly, like the Titanic just slowly starting to tilt.

And it's like, Dad, hook up the phone. Dad. Who the fuck is spending 60 million dollars to have a simulated dolphin swimming why don't you just say like

maybe that's something we don't do you don't have anything better to do with 60 million dollars there's there's 600,000

homeless people right now that are looking at you just shaking their head. What the fuck is wrong with you? You don't have anything better to do with that money. The only thing that would make this just a tiny touch more appalling is if Elon Musk flew it up into the air and shot it into space with fucking SpaceX.

That'd be the only thing. Swimming in space. Swimming in space. It's like, so long. Thanks for all the only thing. Swimming in space. It's swimming in space. It's like, so long, thanks for all the fish. It's just fucking swimming away.

Thanks, Elon. That's the only thing. Yeah. This is like if somebody sold you space tourism and instead they just like

gave you a drug that made you think that you were in space. Or a really nice VR. In your ear. Like a really nice VR experience because it's $60 million. Right.

So let's say it's an amazing VR experience with a, a haptech suit where the whole time you're being touched, it feels like you're being touched. You can move around and you're in fucking 2001, a space odyssey and hell won't let you go there and all that stuff. It's going on, but you're not in space. You paid $60 million for a real

thing. You paid $60 million for a real doll. Yeah, exactly. Right. That's exactly it. Like, no matter how many times, like, no matter how convincing the VR is and how, like, lifelike the fucking sex doll is, you're still a virgin

until you have sex with another human being. Yeah, right. Like, there are some things that are just honestly authentic experiences. And it's okay that not everybody is going to have every experience. And I think it's also okay to have like simulated experiences. But this strikes me as a particularly weird one to invest dozens of millions of dollars. It's amazing. It's amazing. You better tell a captain we've got to land as soon millions of dollars. That's amazing. That's amazing. You better tell a captain

we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital. A hospital? What is it? It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now. I fucking love this story. This comes from the Daytona Beach News Journal.

DeBerry man tried to steal NSB plane to fly marijuana to California. The fuck? Well, okay. man tried to steal nsb plane to fly marijuana to california the fuck well okay well the steel here should be in air quotes steel steel turning knobs on and not knowing how to fly an airplane is not stealing an airplane so i've got to read just parts of this because it's just so fucking great so this guy he tried to take a 2008 Sakata TBM 700 aircraft. That's a fixed wing, single engine plane. Costs about a million dollars, right? So the cops get called to this place where planes are kept, right?

According to the news. They call it an airport. Is that where they do it? A hangar. The, you know, airplane parking lot. It's the airplane keepy place. That's what it's called. According to the New Smyrna Beach Police,

an officer was at the airport. Okay, smart guy. Looking for a stolen vehicle taken by this guy at Daytona Beach. The officer was flagged down by a man who told him that the suspect had offered him $1,000 to give him a ride. Sure.

When Stenster got out, he left behind his cell phone, a grinder, and a scale. You left your cell phone behind? And your paraphernalia. This guy's so high. Fucking numbskull. Are you fucking kidding me?

So then they find the guy and he's sitting in the airplane, right? And the airplane is still in the airplane right and the airplane is still in the air in the airport apron i don't know what that means when they contact him the man asked whether the officer knew how to fly the aircraft so like you just got a picture of this he's this fucking guy as high as balls he's fucking so high the cop shows up he's like yo man i don't know do you know how to fly away these things you show me how to fly these airplanes wasted as i'm in florida i'm trying to get to california in a small airplane

that almost certainly doesn't hold enough fuel to go see my girlfriend that must be one hell of a booty call that's all i'm saying man it better be damn good oh yeah i, I gotta go. Cause she asked me, you up? And I was. So I gotta go. It's like right now, I'm asking you. She sent me the eggplant and the peach and I know what that means. She said, you up? And you have to go. It's like when I say, are you a cop? You have to tell me that's how this works.

That's how it works, man. Yeah, dude. This guy is awesome. He's just like so fucking high and he's just flipping switches hoping. And what's just like so fucking high and he's just, he's just flipping switches, hoping he's just, and what, what's your next plan, right?

It's not that it's not that flying is fucking easy. It's fucking hard. I mean, if anybody's ever played any of the flying simulating games where you're just like, you know, fucking, I can't land this plane.

Are you kidding me? I can't first off. I can't even take it off. But if I do get it up in the air, suddenly I'm like this and I'm screaming and I'm me? I can't, first off, I can't even take it off. But if I do get it up in the air, suddenly I'm like this and I'm screaming and I'm hoping that I don't crash. It's fucking unreal.

I love, so like this guy is just going to like hit switches until he was what? In California? It's just like computer. Yeah, he talks. Fly me to California.

He's talking to Alexalexa start the motor so then when they asked him about it he says um he says he purchased the aircraft for twenty thousand dollars cash recently and then he said he was gonna fly to california meet his girlfriend the suspect said he didn't have the paperwork and didn't know who the person was that he bought the airplane from. Yeah. I routinely give $20,000 in cash to people I don't know

in order for them to hand over what, like, the keys to their airplane? Yeah. This is amazing. Oh, it's so great. It's so fucking great.

Like, this airplane was so not in danger of being stolen. Oh, I know. I know. Nothing has ever been in less danger of being taken. Hot food. We sit down to eat and the potato's a bit hot. So I only put a little bit on my fork and I blow. Till it's cool.

Just cool. Then into the mouth. Nice. I love this so cool. Then into the mouth. Nice. I love this so much. This is so great. I hope they do, man. Oh my God. So great.

This is from CNN. Thousands signed petition to rename Columbus, Ohio to Flavortown after native son Guy Fieri. I love that so much. That's so good. it's so fucking terrific so they're trying like and part of it is like oh like we're named after christopher columbus and like that is problematic absolutely yeah yeah you know we should address that like that's legit but like naming it flavor town that's some bBoatface shit. Like, this is a moment

where you're like, where like, something like really fucking serious and like, like kind of historically important combines with the internet.

Right? And the internet's like, all right, all right, here's what we'll do. We'll do the right thing, but then we are going to fuck it up.

What they did was, they did exactly what the internet does, which is they found a B-lister to make it seem like this is the guy you should, because I guarantee that there's other famous people that have come from Columbus, right? Right. That you could easily name it after or whatever, but they found a B-lister that they thought it

would be funny if you named it after him, right? And the internet does that where they want to prank everybody. They want to prank everybody to make it seem like it's funny. But I'll be perfectly honest. I kind of respect Guy Fieri. I'll be perfectly frank. I genuinely do. He's a throwback to an earlier era, right? And there's always these people out there that are just throwbacks. He's a throwback to an early 2000s era. That's what he is. He found his style in 2000 and he never gave it up. He never gave up that style and the way he talks and the way he acts and the way he dresses. It's all that.

He's just a throwback. It's like a guy in the 80s or something who still dresses like he did in the 50s. My dad, my whole life, my dad had one of those Fonzie haircuts. His whole life, he dad had one of those Fonzie haircuts. His whole life, he always had one of those.

His hair was, till he died, his hair was a Fonzie haircut. It was that pompadour, whatever they call it. I don't know what they call it, but he always had that little roll

of hair that came out. It was a brittle cream, like hard gel that would hold his hair in one place and he would always comb his hair like that his whole life. So he just found his style and he's like, nope, that's it. That's why this is my style. This is what I got. And I, you know, there's something charming about that. Like,

it's like, this guy doesn't care what other people think. Cause he knows people make fun of him, right? He knows that people are making fun of the flavor town and all this stuff. But at the same time, he's so secure in who he is. He's just, he's just being himself. And I think that he's either found a niche that he knows that he can fill or he's just being himself. And I like to think of it like the latter, you know? I, and I agree that I actually read an article about Guy Fieri

about a year or so ago. And like, he's actually a really good person. Like he does like a lot of charity work. He just recently did some. With a million, raised a million plus dollars for people that are, I think more than that, actually.

I don't know exactly what the numbers were, but he raised a lot of money for people who were out of work in the restaurant industry because of COVID. Yeah. And like his job is to drive around in a nice car and eat food.

Like that's his job. That's a fucking baller job. I think people are just fucking jealous. That's a fucking baller job, dude. people are just fucking jealous, right? That's a fucking baller job, dude. It's like, oh, Guy Fieri sucks. I'm going to go back to my fucking wage slave

garbage job sitting in a cubicle. Yeah. Let me do another pivot table on this Excel sheet. Right. You know what, though? While I'm fucking working overtime

and not eating food while driving a fucking baller convertible, I'm just glad I'm not Guy Fieri. Yeah, yeah. I would be Guy Fieri right now. Like, I would be that guy right now.

I think it's, I actually love the idea. I hope that they do change the name of the city. And there's part of me that would love it to see it called Flavor Time. I think that's hilarious. It's terrific. Don't you understand? This pool is our bootstraps and it's lifting us up into the middle class, dude.

Well, just accept the fact that you're white trash, all right? Take a look at yourself. You can't do backflips. You don't know karate. You're white trash. You're white trash, too, dude. Look at those shorts are white trash. Do not call those shorts white trash.

Look at this. Look at this. Look what I can do. What is white trash about that? So the story comes from usa today philly shuts down dumpster pool saying we are not screwing around so i grabbed this story cecil because like philadelphia knows it has to throw itself away like the people living in philly you hate philadelphia so much it's amazing philly they understand like first all, the only way they're going to

take a fucking bath is in a fucking garbage can. Oh my God. This is so good. And two, like the people living in Philly understand that they are recreational garbage. That's it. You're trash for fun. That's what you are in Philly, understand that they are recreational garbage. That's it. You're trash for fun. That's what you are in Philly. You are trash for fun.

All right. All right, Tom. A or B. A or B. Fort Wayne, Indiana. Philadelphia. Okay, no. Philadelphia.

I can get other places places i'd rather be quicker you have to smell like meth to do it uh dinner in gary indiana or dinner in philadelphia gary i'll probably get killed oh Oh, gosh, that's amazing. The pause that you have to make is so good. I don't even know Gary, Indiana. Do they have food in Gary, Indiana? I thought it was just fireworks and strippers.

Both of those can be eaten, Tom. About the same consequences. It's burning. That's so funny. I love this story. It's so funny. It's so gross and disgusting. I know that they put like a garbage bag in there

and then jumped in it, but it's still gross as fuck to be in a fucking dumpster. Dumpster? Dumpster full of water and swimming around. And they did it because they wanted to, they wanted to sort of show, because they did a, they wanted to sort of show, because they did a,

they do a block party every year and they wanted to show that they could up it every year and do something different and crazy and quirky. And so it's a crazy quirky thing that they're doing, but it's also gross. You're just, it's, it's just nasty. It's so fucking gross.

God, you got- The guys, like, we power washed it, you know? And then, and then we put we put like you said garbage bags. And I was like, I just thought you guys came in garbage. I just assume. So mean to Philadelphia because you got a bad cheese steak. Well, I got a bad sandwich. I hate your whole town.

So mean to it. So mean to it. I love it. It's the best. I would go back. I know. I know. You're just fucking around. It's the best. I would go back. I know. I know. You're just fucking around.

It's so fun to do though. I'd go back to Oklahoma City, right? I'll make fun of Oklahoma City all day, but I'd go back. I had a fun time there. You know, I would definitely go back. Yeah, I would go back. It's quiet. It's walking dead. It's crazy. Cause you just walked down the street,

even pre COVID it was walking dead. So I can't imagine what it's like after COVID, but, uh, but I had a great time there. So I would go back and actually a cute little downtown area. I would totally go back to Oklahoma city. Um, so, you know, I, we always talk bad about some of these places that we've, you know, we've been or we make fun of. But, yeah, the places, a lot of those places

I have fun at. I have fun in New York every time I go, you know, even though I make fun of it. You know, it's disgusting. I just love to trash places. It's disgusting.

Well, I mean, and New York trashes itself. So, it's just, they throw it right on the street. Right on the front stoop. Yeah. Did you miss last Thursday's live stream? Well, you missed out It's just they throw it right on the street. Right on the front stoop. Did you miss last Thursday's live stream?

Well, you missed out on the chance to see Cecil eating spam. And if you want to see that clip, you can head on over to our live stream clips channel on YouTube. Check the show notes for a direct link. It had to be said, the Oregon State Highway Division not only had a whale of a problem on its hands, it had a stinking whale of a problem. What to do with one 45-foot, 8-ton whale dead on arrival on the beach near Florence? The sand dunes there were covered with spectators and landlubber newsmen, shortly to become landblubber newsmen,

with a blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds. All right, so this story comes from Fox News. Oregon town renames park after whale it blew up 50 years ago. There's a lot of renaming going on in the United States right now. A lot of these towns are thinking, you know, we're bored. Let's rename ourselves.

Let's rebrand, guys. So good. So I got to read some parts of this because some parts of this will absolutely like just hold on to your stomach for a second.

Exploding Whale Memorial Park in Florence opened last week taking its name from a massive rotting sperm whale that officials dynamited in 1970

after it was determined there was no safe way to remove it. in the world. So good. I'm going to put it on this week's show it. The craziest video in the world. So good. Seriously. I'm going to put it on this week's show notes. It's such a good video. You just find this story. It's actually linked inside this story. So go to our show

notes. Find this story. It's linked in the story. Let's just watch the fucking goddamn fucking whale blow up. Fucking explode in eight. So imagine what you think would happen if you packed a whale full of dynamite. And then there's no surprises in this video.

That's what happens. It's like pieces of whale. Like anybody who's ever had a firecracker and put a firecracker in something and then be like, ew, stuff everywhere. Yes, that's exact. What else would happen? It's amazing. Yeah. But the crazy thing is, is if you watch the video, part of the whale falls straight down faster than gravity. So there's a weirdness to this video. So you need to see it

just to make sure. What about whale building seven? What about that one? You know, I heard that whale died on poipus. So it's a conspiracy. You could sear some good whale meat in jet fuel, I hear. I bet you it tastes really good that way. So the whale washed up on the banks of Seusslaw River and was too big to bury. As it started to rot, it turned into a public health risk.

Too big to bury? This is amazing. This next line, imagine this. This is amazing. This next line, imagine this. This is how boring Oregon is. People had been touching, climbing, or falling in the carcass.

What now? What now? Falling in a... Just... Falling in it. Suddenly, you're the alien from Aliens popping out of the stomach of this thing.

You're the chest burster. You fall into it and then you have to burst out the stomach. That's a weird game to play as a kid. So they got to get rid of this thing because I guess like they're losing toddlers in it or whatever. Hey, can you shake the kids out of the whale? Can we go play on the whale, dad? Oh, Jesus. Only if you wear this rope.

Blowing it up sent chunks of blubber raining down across the area. One piece was large enough to crush a nearby car. Jesus. I'll tell you, the way they handled this, they should have called that whale 2020. You know what I mean? Oh my God.

The video is fucking amazing. It honestly is just spectacular. What did they call the park? Exploding Whale Memorial Park. That's better than Exploding McWhale McWhale Face or whatever, which they could have easily done. Exploding Whale Memorial Park. That's better than Exploding McWhale McWhale Face

or whatever, which they could have easily done. Exploding Whale Park. Boomy McWhale. Yeah, Boomy McWhale Face or something. They could have easily done something like that. But instead they just chose Exploding Whale Park. There's no way. There is no way.

So I have a plan in a couple of years to travel across the northern part of the country. I did a southern, southwest sort of drive from South Dakota to Las Vegas through some nice area out there. And I plan to do a very similar drive again, but this time going through Montana and Idaho and then Washington, Oregon, maybe Northern California. I'm not sure exactly where we're going to go up there, but you know, the Northern part,

Northwestern part of the United States. And there's no way I'm not stopping in fucking exploding whale park. There's no way. There's no way. You guys just got me. You just got, you just got a tourist. There's no way I would, I would avoid going there.

And they had a fucking, the best part is the picture with the guy in the whale suit. It's fucking amazing. It's amazing. You know how to bring this in. You are doing the right things to rebrand your city.

Hats off. There was a public poll. It wasn't even really close. Like the public polls, 439 of 856 votes. There weren't two choices. There were multiple choices. And they were just like, no, it's this one.

It's like, no, we want exploding whale. And I love that it's a memorial park. It's like, you have like that somber moment where you're like, I remember that whale. What if they had- She was beautiful. What if they had like, for the memorial, they just have chunks and it's a mobile

and it just goes through. It's just chunks of whale floating in the air james i have to ask you one serious question here i understand you already have started divorce proceedings does that mean that you're now eligible oh no yes i'm out i'm singing i want to mingle you want to mingle yeah now the women love you when you get out there why do you think that is why is that ladies well i'm asking, I'm asking you. Because I look good. What do you think that is? You look good.

I smell good. I feel good. And you sing good. And make love good. Oh. Well, there we are. We don't have to ask anybody else. We got that from the source.

There you are. This story comes from the Brussels Times. Man smuggling cocaine in artificial penis caught at Brussels airport. And actually, Cecil, the reason I grabbed this story, although it's absurd, is because I want to talk about what it would mean if you believed his excuse, right? I'm going to read this story. A British man who was caught at Brussels airport while trying to smuggle cocaine into Belgium by hiding it in an artificial penis had been sentenced to 38 months in prison. The man was arrested on the 8th of February when

he landed at Brussels airport on a flight from Jamaica. He tested positive for cocaine, after which the man was transferred to the University Hospital of JET in Brussels for a more in-depth investigation. At the hospital, doctors and police officers established the man had been equipped with an artificial penis in which 127 grams of white powder, later identified as cocaine, was hidden. This is my favorite. The man stated that he had visited his mother in Jamaica

and an acquaintance there had offered him cocaine. He said he took it with him to use for himself once at home. Okay. Alright. That in no way explains the enormous artificial penis that you already have in no way that only explains the cocaine in no way does that address or so and give me any explanatory power to why you have an enormous artificial penis. I did some digging on this and I know why he has it.

Okay. So you know how there's like Coke spoons out there where you can do Coke? Think of it like a Flonase bottle. You just put the head of the penis up your nose and then you squeeze it and it shoots the cocaine straight up your nose. So you don't have to inhale it anymore.

It's like whatever, Zitan or whatever. What is that stuff called? Zican or whatever you shoot up your nose so you don't have to inhale it anymore it's like it's like whatever zitan or whatever what is that stuff for zican or whatever you shoot up your nose like that it's an it's a nasal spray type thing like is this maybe somebody also who's just thinking like like doing lines off that guy's dick like just took it like way too literally just be like all right i'm gonna i'm actually gonna pre-line my dick with cocaine in the hopes that somebody is going to be like, I would snort coke off that. Really? You would? Yeah, you would. We can make that happen. I have been waiting for someone to say that for a long time.

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They can just listen to us. And so they get that every week. And there's a lot of extra content just for patrons. So we hope that you join and we hope that you contribute. We thank you so much. So we got a message. This one is from Aaron

and he sent an image about Republicans, which I fucking love. It's pretty great. It's absolutely awesome. So we're going to post it on this week's show notes. This is episode 530.

We got a bunch of messages about Bernie and why people decided to vote for him and why they thought that, what they thought he was going to accomplish. And one person commented on our blog, this is Sue, and they said, there's an aspect of Bernie presidency I think

some people miss, and that's, I believe, what his candidacy both times has succeeded in, in a way, and that is his presidency would have further advanced a narrative. He got people talking about things and discussing possibilities that we barely brought up before. And I think that that happens a lot in the primaries. I mean, Tom and I, I remember coming in this primary season last year and walking into the office

after both of us had done some research because both of us were going to be talking that day about a debate. And a debate had just, was going to happen. I think we're going to watch it live and then talk about it directly after. But we had come in previously doing some research on the candidates.

And I remember walking in and saying to Tom, wow, this universal basic income. And Tom and I were laughing about it. We were just like, no, that's never going to happen. Yeah, I was way more dismissive of it than you were. You were like much more interested. I remember I was like, I was wrong. I was like, that's fucking crazy.

Yeah, it was like it was never going to happen. And it was because of the way in which we've seen welfare treated in this country over and over and over again as a shitty entitlement for bad people. And it is now starting to be viewed, I think, especially now after COVID, it's my great hope that it's going to be viewed in a much more forgiving, useful light that people will see it and say, no, that's a necessary good that we have to produce

for people to make sure that they don't fall, that they don't slip below the margin. You know, and I think that we're going to have to, we're going to, I hope that COVID has changed people's mind on that because I know a lot of people lost their job. And I hope that it's changed people's mind because it's been one of those things

that you see happen and you think, gosh, the universal basic income changes everything. If universal basic income was a thing and then you could, you know, that was sort of the lowest rung of the ladder, but everybody got it no matter what. It could really change the whole perspective of how people view work in this country. It could really change everything. three or four times before they really make their way into practice. And so something like UBI and something like healthcare for all, it is important that people are having those conversations. So I agree in the sense that having these hardcore progressives who I would love to see their

policies enacted, but I don't think that they will be. But I do think that every time those conversations come up and gain traction, they gain a little more traction. And that is fucking essential if we're going to have progress because there's a tipping point to every idea. Absolutely. And what's great about the UBI thing is that it tipped so quickly. I think that you or I both would have thought maybe UBI is something in the future that could eventually be gotten in a progressive country. It's just that going from zero to really seriously talking about UBI in eight months was a shock. It was a shock. And it's one of those things that even after COVID started, people were talking UBI is what you shift to now.

You do this now so that we can move forward with a policy that always has it. So it's always there as a safety net for everyone. Got a message from Pete and Pete talked about journalism and Pete said, since you talked about edited photos, when I was a professional photo journalist, it was pounded into my head that the only editing you do is a 5% crop color correction and dust and spot removal. That's it. I saw a guy fired and blacklisted by the AP for an 11% crop of an image. Man, I fucking wish that, what I, what I, I hear that. And like, I think that's amazing. But what I find upsetting is that that's not required. Yeah. You know, that's all voluntary.

If the APs fire somebody, that's a voluntary act. I think like lying with images to the public intentionally as a news organization. I know that the First Amendment covers that, but like, you know, maybe it just shouldn't. Yeah. You know, maybe it just shouldn't. And maybe that's something that should be revisited in new ways because technology like this has never been available. And it is going to require, the technology will require us to think through the ramifications of that technology on our culture. Yeah.

And if we don't do that, we're going to chase this and we're going to be manipulated in the process. So there's a politician from Australia who's got a new hashtag. They are, this message is from Will. And Will was talking about this. This is a politician named Fiona Pattern for a member of parliament. And this person has, they have a fucking hashtag right now called fight stupid and that's amazing they have fucking posters that say 5g does not cause

coronavirus fight stupid wash hands don't drink bleach fight stupid it's fucking amazing i mean it's genuinely amazing fight stupid is my favorite shit I've ever fucking heard. She's the leader of a political party in Australia that used to be called the Australian Sex Party, which had great science-based and left-leaning policies. And then they changed their name to the Reason Party. And it's fucking awesome. I want to be part of the fucking Reason Party. Fight Stupid. Man, I just find it amazing that we're in a place right now where you have to put up a sign

that says, don't drink bleach. I know, right? And wash your hands. God. You know, I'm just saying. Unreal.

Maybe that's not something we should be proud we have to do. So next week, we are not doing a live stream next Thursday, but we hope that you tune in to our old live streams. Go check them out.

If you haven't gone to YouTube or Twitch or Facebook, be sure to like our social pages and then you'll get notifications when we do our live stream. Live streams are growing slowly and they're actually becoming a lot of fun. We're having a great time. We're having a lot of fun with those live streams. Some really funny stories happen in these live streams and we interact with chat. So come check us out 9 p.m. Central. And we'd love to have you there. That's every Thursday night, except for next Thursday, we're not going to be. So the second we will not be doing it, we're going to be taking a long weekend, Tom and I, but the following week on the 9th, we will be back. Hopefully I will be in Glory Hole Studios. Tom will still be recording locally, but we will be recording back from Glory Hole Studios again. We hope to see you for the live stream on the 9th.

We hope everybody has a fun Independence Day. Enjoy yourselves. We'll be back next week, hopefully with a vulgarity for charity next week. So tune in for that. And we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue.

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