Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 535: Blended Or Single Malt

Episode Date: August 3, 2020

Stories form the week

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios, wherever the fuck we find ourselves, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. 20 topic that makes the news, makes it big or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 535 of Cognitive Dissonance. It's like three away. We're like three away from 538, Tom. Three away. 538.

That's going to be, that's going to, that's going to be the. Wouldn't it have been amazingly auspicious if 538 was our election show. That would be amazing. We should just stop recording until we go on pause. Can we just go on pause for a little while? Just so we don't, we should do, we should do 537.1.

Yeah, we got it. Let's cheat it. Let's cheat it. We got to cheat it, but we'll just cheat it till we get there. Oh, Tom, man, tragic news today. I don there oh Tom oh man tragic news today

I don't know if you saw tragic news the president announced that he was he was gonna suspend elections which is what he can't do so he mentioned it today

so tragic news and everybody's if he doesn't suspend elections then voting by mail will cause massive electoral fraud something which we've been able to do since like

the civil war and something which Trump has voted himself by mail. Along with many people in his cabinet. Sure. Right. Like I have voted by mail. Like John Oliver did a really good piece about the vote by mail thing. And like the, it's like one of those crimes where if you just pause and think about why, like there would not be massive amounts of electoral fraud and like voting fraud, you personally gain nothing, but the risks are enormous. Like they're like,

like if I go rob a liquor store, let's say I want to rob a liquor store. The gain that I get out of that is somebody hands me money. And then I have, I Tom have that money and I put it in something. And then I have, I, Tom, have that money and I put it in my pocket. And then I go, ta-da-da!

And I go outside and I get arrested. But for a moment, I had some money. And that's why I robbed the liquor store. So the risk-reward thing, at least,

but the reward is like, maybe I will incrementally affect the election. I am definitely willing to risk jail time to incrementally affect the election. There was 125 million people who voted in the last election. So Cecil, I just thought it'd be fun.

Let's say you wanted to swing the election. Yeah. You know, you wanted to significantly impact the election through your voter fraud. It's the only thing that would make that risk-reward balance make sense. You'd have to collect a lot of ballots and send a lot of ballots. All right, well, let's just think. 125 million.

And let's say I need to only— I can swing this fucking thing if I can just swing a tenth of a percent of it. I have to go out and steal 125,000 ballots. Okay. Yeah. And then mail all those in. Admittedly, if you were to do it in a state, some states were swung by 10,000, 15,000 votes.

Yeah. In some places, even in- That's true. 10,000, 15,000 votes in some places, even in, even in, even in, uh, uh, Florida in the Bush v. Gore, it was a couple hundred, right? So a couple hundred worth, but that would mean you would need to have some of that foresight to know exactly where they're going to be neck and neck. And even, even in places where we have statistical analysis and people who know what they're talking about, even those people don't get it right 100% of the time. So you may

waste a shit ton of time trying to find ballots in fucking Michigan that you never really needed. So Cecil, guess how much time you would have to waste just for funsies. If you wanted 10,000, I have a system and it'll only take me three minutes per ballot and I'm going to do 10,000 ballots.

This is the fun thing about large numbers, right? So yeah, that's 500 hours of work. 500 hours of work that you would have to do. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's, what is that? It's almost like it's not even a real thing, Cecil. It's almost like it's nothing to worry about.

Is it five weeks worth of time or something like that? Is that what that is? 500 hours? Well, let's say- No, that's a little less. It's less than that, right? If they're work weeks and you put in 10 hours of overtime,

it would be 10 weeks. Right? Is it work weeks, though? It'd be 10 weeks of working 50-hour weeks of doing nothing all day, but stealing ballots at three minutes per ballot. Three minutes per ballot. Which I don't know who's got the three minutes per ballot machine that they have.

Like, so, you know, it's the fun thing about large numbers is they don't, as soon as you like do the math, you're like, that's not a true thing. Even a 10 grand, it's a lot of time. It's a massive amount of time. But it's an asinine thing anyway, because we in Illinois, I guess they're trying to shift to vote by mail if you want. And I got applications, I think, for it in the mail.

I have to double check and look. But I don't want to go vote this time if I can avoid it. I did it in the primary. And it was shitty. I had to stand outside in the cold because nobody wanted to stand next to each other. It was in the first days of the fucking coronavirus. Nobody's wearing a mask back then.

So back then it was fucking weird, man. Because it was like literally in the first couple days, it was when the first two weeks of the coronavirus, at least in Illinois, it was insane. And all the polling stations were closed down because people didn't want to fucking be there to go run the goddamn thing. How backwards is that too?

Like, I'm sorry, but like, like the thing to do would be to have more places to do it so less people go to each place. Instead, like we make decisions that create more density. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's a silly way to fix the problem. It's a silly way to fix the problem. It's a dumb way to fix the problem. And then they, and, but it's, it's a necessity though,

Tom, because people weren't signing up for volunteer slots. So they're stuck in this weird position where they're, they're creating larger density. Nobody wants to be there. The people don't want to actually go and sign up as to be election judges anymore. And it's so easy to fix. It's so fucking easy to fix. And you know who gets a chance to vote? And this is why they don't want to do it. The people who get the chance to vote when it's fucking vote by mail are people who can't leave their job during the day because they're busy all day and they can't ever get to the ballot. It's the elderly, people who can't leave their houses easily. It's people who have to take care of their children who can't leave their children

or take their children with them to the ballot station. People without vehicles, people who are still deep in poverty, they don't have transportation. So who are those people who I mentioned that are affected? Oh, it's the poor

and the disaffected in this country. Yeah, you don't want to give those people votes because they'll vote your fucking fat cat ass out of there. That's why. Every time. That's why. Every time. Like, there is a reason that the GOP does not want to turn out.

They've shown again and again. They've taken it to court. They're not even trying to hide it. They've come out and said it out loud. So this isn't like Tom's conspiracy hour. Like, the right does not want to enfranchise the whole country. Like we could, if we really wanted to say, we want to have a system where everybody in the country decides who its leaders are, we would just say, okay, well, let's get rid of Columbus day. Cause that guy was a monster. And instead we'll'll have Voting Tuesday. And it would be a national holiday.

And we would say, okay, you have to get paid for it, right? And so people would be able to take the day off and they would get paid for that day off. And maybe you'd stagger it over two days so that not everything in the whole world closed, right? So you could have some toggle. You would have a, or I don't know, Cecil, like vote by fucking mail. We're talking about all kinds of different documents travel through the mail as it is. So the idea that this document in particular is different than all the rest is silly. Right.

And like you said, the amount of work that would have to go in to handle this and do this seems like just such a, it's such an amazing amount of work to do the littlest push but but beyond that fact trump can't actually change the day no he can't say and even if he did right even if he did it doesn't matter because the way the constitution is written pelosi would become the fucking president on june on january 20th right so he has no idea that's the case that he still would have to vacate yeah because he has no he doesn't know how things work he doesn't know how any of that he didn't know how any of it worked before he took the job we hired a guy who had no idea how any of it worked he had no idea he's a guy who you hire for like in tesla he walks in he's like so you make electric cars here huh like

that's how fucking stupid a person we hired. Yeah. Well, it is amazing how little, like, he must have paid attention in civics class. You find that out all the time. He's just like, I'm the president. I have absolute control. It's like, no. But I will say, like, he's pushing those boundaries because the checks and balances refuse to check him. Exactly. No, you're absolutely right.

You're absolutely right. And I saw people upset about that today. And I will say, the checks and balances in this country, one of the massive problems we have is with a two-party system, and we've got this bullshit filibuster nonsense, you can have a small majority in the Senate, for example, I don't know, you can have a small majority in the Senate that basically cock blocks any attempts to restrain executive power. And that is antithetical to the system of checks and balances that we have. Because if the president is supported by the Senate and the Senate is supported by the president, you effectively have one monolith rather than two independent branches of government. And that's what we've been building for years and years.

We've been building these monoliths instead of independent branches that seek to check each other. And since the Senate won't hold the president accountable, the president can, with great impunity, just act unilaterally. Yeah, do whatever he wants. And he has.

He has shown time and time and time again. Today, he tweeted out a fucking promotion for a pizza place in New York. On his Twitter feed. What? He's just saying, you should go eat pizza at this place in New York. It's a great place. Literally on his

Twitter feed. You literally cannot do that. And it does not matter that he did that. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter at all. And that's just one thing. Yeah. It's just one thing. Did you see his tweet about the suburbs?

No, I didn't see that one. Oh, hold on, Cecil. I got to read this to you, buddy. So here's the tweet, Cecil. I am happy to inform all of the people living their suburban lifestyle dream

that you will no longer be bothered or financially hurt by having low-income housing built in your neighborhood. And what he's referring to specifically is he rescinded AFFH, which is an extension of the Fair Housing Act. I forgot exactly what it stands for. I always forget what it stands for. But the goal of it was basically to create incentives, financial incentives to allow people

to have affordable housing. I think it's like the Affordable Housing Fairness Shenanigans Act or something like that. But the idea was to create affordable housing that was spread out in geographically diverse areas and in economically diverse areas so that you didn't create these ghettos, right? One of the problems that we had in the 80s and 90s was that we took all the poor people and we stuck them physically in one place. And we created this

ghettoization of American cities. And we saw very quickly that that leads to multi-generational cycles of poverty because all these people become nested into one place. And those places have bad schools and low job opportunities and shitty access to public transportation and bad access to food. They're thank. And like, they're just a nightmare. And so people that are born into that nightmare have no opportunity to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and thunk around in the American dream. So it was understood that we had to do something

to break that apart. AFFH was part of that process. It's an extension of the Fair Housing Act. So the idea was to create incentives so that you could get affordable housing in communities that were were safer with better schools and better job opportunities and to move people around so that you don't have these cycles of poverty. He fucking rescinded it. And then when he rescinded it, he tweets this thing out saying, hey, white people, this is exactly what this reads.

Hey, white people, don't worry. We'll keep the blacks in their place. That's the dog whistle. It's not even a dog whistle. It's not even a dog whistle. I'm happy to inform all the people living their suburban lifestyle dream, which is capitalized, like that's a brand name, that you will no longer be bothered or financially hurt

by having low-income housing built in your neighborhood. And then he just fucks over the poor because he knows that the poor is not his base. Yep. And he's trying to stop him from voting. Yeah. It's fucking outrageous. Yeah. Well, it's less than 100 days now until he's

until we see what happens. But he's trailing, but a shot is still a shot, right? Just like we learned with Hillary, trailing doesn't mean anything. So, I mean, it's, you know, a one in six chance is still a one in six chance. So, you know, it's certainly not a one in 35 chance.

Yeah. It's certainly not a one in a hundred chance. It's a lot better odds than that. So, I encourage everybody to get registered, get voting and make sure that they are ready to go. Not only vote in this election, but also vote just in general. Even if you're going to, and I know there's a bunch of people who are going to protest, not protest, vote or whatever,

not vote, I'm not going to fucking argue with you. I'm not going to beg you. You should know what's a moral choice. It's up to you. And there's just tons of money pouring in for certain people, very famous, infamous, if you will, senators against them in their campaign. So Lindsey Graham's going to have an uphill race. Mitch McConnell's got a lot of money coming into his opponent and Susan Collins, a lot of money coming into their opponent. So there's a lot of

money that's flowing in to push up some Democrats. And right now they're saying, if things go the way they go, it may be that it might be a blue Senate. And that's huge. That would be amazing. If it's blue, blue, blue, you get some serious stuff

done. So that would be pretty great. You're taking over. I mean, seriously, though, you leave. Trump drives away in a beautiful car. He's driving down the road. And then four years later, he returns it, tosses the keys to Biden and all the wheels fall off. It's like that old Victory Auto record. Right. The door falls off. That's what happens when they return to it. Cause it's, cause he's fucked this nation in a huge way. And in one way you can already see Tom is the GDP. What are you talking about? See, so the GDP is the GDP charts are, if they weren't so absolutely

terrifyingly bleak, they would be comical because like, it's like the charts of the GDP. It's like, oh, here's some peaks and some valleys and some dips and some drops. And then there's the current drop, which like extends off the page and like spills onto your desk. And like, you have to wipe it up with fucking paper towels. It's the old Bugs Bunny thing where it just pours, it's the ink just pouring down on the desk. Oh, it's amazing. Oh my God. Our economy took a wrong turn at Albuquerque, Tom. You know, I took that chart earlier today. It totally did, man. I took that chart earlier today

and I sort of just like did the enlarged shrink thing. And what I wanted to see is like, how much do you have to shrink it? Like shrink the peaks to make that valley appear sort of normalized. And you have to make it so small you can't even see it. You can't even like see anything

meaningful out of it anymore. I have to say though, when you look at how bad the economy's doing, you can certainly blame some of that. Actually, you blame all of it on the coronavirus, but it's Trump's giant mismanagement of the coronavirus

that caused the problem. Thank you, yeah. It's not that it's the coronavirus's fault. Sure, it's the coronavirus's fault, but it's also the fact that he's mismanagement so bad. Do you remember the first day we heard about it and he was trying to hot potato that shit to Pence? Do you remember the first day we heard about it and he was trying to hot potato that shit to Pence? Do you remember that? Yeah, but like Cecil, give me an honest answer now.

Who's in charge of it federally now? No, nobody is. Nobody is. Because like he appointed Pence to be in charge and Pence was like, mother, I have a job. And like with no qualifications whatsoever, by like to lead that yeah no he's he's he's had a bad track record with viruses that's for sure yeah and then like he like continues to undermine his own expert like fauci absolutely constantly like he's just like he has a hate on for that guy because he's jealous of him like he he's like weirdly crazy jealous of him? God, he's so fucking ugly, petty, gross, grade school jealous of him.

It's just pathetic. It's just pathetic. Yep. Could you seriously think about a person in your life that's a grown ass person being that pathetic? No. Wouldn't you just cut that toxicity out of your life if someone was that fucking petty

and that fucking pathetic? And if you felt that way, like if I felt that jealous, like I have felt jealous. Like I'm not going to pretend I haven't. I have seen it. And I've been like, oh man, I'm kind of fucking jealous of that.

But then, you know, there's that moment where you're like, this is a natural jealousy. This is like aspirational jealousy where it's like, I'd like to have that. What do I need to do to work for it? Like to achieve that thing that this person there's this aspirational jealousy. Then there's sort of just sort of like FOMO

jealousy. And then there's just like this sort of like desperate, childish, insecure jealousy where like you just have to like destroy the other person. There's never an attempt to be like, oh man, I guess I should step up. It's not that. It's like, I absolutely must crush this person

because I will then be the only other choice in the room. It's like wanting like the pretty girl at the party and being like, all right, here's what I'll do. I'll kill every other person at this party, and then she'll have to choose me. When I open fire, she will fall on her knees and beg me to marry her. Seriously, it's that fucking cracked out. It's like, if I'm your only choice, I'm still your choice.

You're like, what the fuck? Oh my gosh. This week, one of the things that happened was he had said that he was going to throw out the first pitch of the Yankees game

because Fauci got asked to throw out the first pitch of the game and nobody asked Trump and he just announced that he was going to do it. And then he said, no, I can't.

I'm sorry. Everybody at the Yankees is looking at each other saying, did you call him? I didn't call. Did you call? Nobody knew it. He literally just announced it by Fiat. It's amazing. I love that he like, he invited himself to the Yankees to throw the first pitch and then

canceled on them. He's like, I can't make it. They're just like, okay. Cool. Has Trump ever invited himself? I don't know. Has he invited himself to give a eulogy to somebody?

I wonder. He'd go to John Lewis and say, hey, John Lewis' family and say, hey, just so you know, I'm going to be the one giving. I'm going to give the eulogy. I'm going to give the second eulogy after Obama. And it just doesn't do it. He just walks in and just, hey guys, I'm here.

I'm here to do the eulogy. It's going to be a great eulogy. Bigly eulogy. You're going to love it. I can't do it. I got other things to do. Fuck your eulogy. Your eulogy is small. It's sad. I'm not doing your eulogy. There's like this crazy, desperate insecurity to the whole thing.

That's just, it's absolutely wild to watch. How is that? How is that attractive to anyone who sees it? Because it's obvious, right? It's obvious to anyone who sees it. So I can't imagine somebody

looking at that person and thinking, gosh, that's my guy. Well, they don't believe it. He's so insecure. They just believe, the thing is like, gosh, that's my guy. Well, they don't believe it. He's so insecure. They just believe. The thing is, like, they think that didn't happen.

Like, the people that are rabidly pro-Trump, they think that that story where, like, he's going to throw the first pitch and then he canceled, they think that, like, he really was invited and that he canceled

because he was too busy working on the coronavirus like he said they just believe what he says even when the things he says don't match the other things he says then what they believe after that is that he's working some crazy angle right oh now he's just screwing with the media just to screw with the media and it's like well you know i mean the media does report stuff to the people. Like, doesn't he have a responsibility to be consistent and not to just play games with like our lives? Well, the way he put, the way they say it though,

is they'll say he's throwing a curve ball to somebody. He's throwing a curve ball through the media to us. But you're like, you're the recipient of that curve ball. Yeah, well, also just stop manipulating me fucking media is just the fucking mouthpiece. You're the one who's getting the curve ball. You're the eventual person. He beans. Yeah.

Why you should be just as upset as I am. I don't understand at all. And like, we got to talk about like the, the, the, um, John Lewis funeral. Yeah. So how classy is that to just not attend that? You know, he didn't go to McCain's either. Yeah. And that guy was in his own party. And like, it's not necessary that he goes, but like, it would be classy. Yeah. Right. Like it would be a classy thing to do. Be like, Oh, this guy was an important figure in American life. It would actually because he was a civil rights leader, like it would be a bridge building piece at a time when I don't know the country is suffering through like some of the worst like racial tension in its history. Yeah. But it's just it's just that he does not give a shit about that. He's not going to go to John Lewis's funeral because it doesn't play the right message to the base, right?

Will he go to Herman Cain's funeral, you think? I don't know. I bet not. I bet he's one of those guys that secretly just doesn't go to many funerals. Oh. Well, now openly doesn't go to many funerals. It's not secretly anymore.

Big switch. Turning Point USA and Herman Cain really came out pro-mask this week which I thought was great you know that's a big shift for Republicans Tom it's a huge shift for them to push and come out pro-mask like that I think

it's a bold stance I think it's a bold lay down is what it is I want to say too you know, I don't care that Herman Cain died because I didn't care when Herman Cain lived,

by the way. I just want to point that out because nobody cared because he was the $5 foot long SimCity tax plan guy. So nobody cared about him. But I just want to point out one thing that I will say,

you know, while I don't care that he died, I will say that there is some definite justice behind it because he, he has a Twitter account that has 550,000 people that follow it. And he was anti-mask, at least his fucking Twitter person was anti-mask on the tweet feed. So, you know, when, when people say, oh, you know, you shouldn't, you shouldn't, you know't go so low and make fun. I'm not making fun of the guy dying, but the fucking guy was tweeting a couple of weeks ago, at least his manager or whatever was tweeting a couple of weeks ago about how masks were bullshit. And there was a deleted tweet from him that specifically said something like, I'm glad that today's Trump rally is mask free.

Enough is enough or something like that. Yeah, I saw the same thing. And it was deleted from his feed, but it happened and they took pictures of him while he's there, a big smile on his face. And he contracted COVID a couple of days after got hospitalized a couple days after that. So, you know, you could probably put two and two together. I don't know if there was a contact tracer deep in the case here,

but I think we could all suspect that maybe he either brought it with him there or he got it while he was there. And so, you know, if somebody is going to be upset that we made a joke at his expense or whatever, you know, that guy's hurting people. That guy's out there spreading bullshit. He's hurting human beings. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy is right, man. And same thing is true. Like the turning point guy that died, who's who was virulently publicly in writing, going out of his way to cast doubt on like what the health experts are saying to do to stop this this pandemic. And there is a whole like power structure of people. Like Herman Cain's not unpopular. He's not unpowerful because of that popularity. Anyone with 550,000 Twitter followers

has some pull with people, right? And he might not have individual pull. But what is true is that when you take a guy like him and a guy like the state senator in Tennessee who just got it recently, and the talking point guy guy or the turning point guy, I'm sorry. And like you take all these messages and you add them up and you aggregate them. If those are the messages that you see repeated time and time and time again, it's not the individual effect of one person. It's the accumulated effect of the same message over and over. Yeah, it's an aggregate.

These motherfuckers, like to your point, like these motherfuckers are part of the reason that huge numbers of people just don't think this is a real thing. And that's why the economy is down 33%, right? That's why the GDP is down 32.9%. It's all connected. If you're out of work, this is why you're out of work. You're out of work because people aren't supporting masks.

There's a one-to-one correlation here, right? It's not, this is not tough shit to figure out. Like if you're struggling, if you like lost your like, you know, a loved one to this, if you're wondering if like your schools are going to be allowed to reopen and if our kids are going to get an education this year or if they're going to slip further and further behind,

like all of that, the reason we have this fucking problem this many months into the game, when so many other countries have this much better under control, it's because these assholes aggregate together to spread a false narrative that counters the advice of the health experts. The only people we should be allowed to listen to, the only people should be allowed to weigh in on this are people that are the fucking health experts. There's a reason we hired those motherfuckers. So like to filter their message through the fucking mouths of these numbskulls,

of these idiots, of these people who have like, they have a fucking agenda and that agenda is not to keep you safe. It's wrong. That's the reason you're unemployed. If you're unemployed, that right there, fuckers like Herman Cain. Fuck that guy. If I get it, it's because someone else

made a mistake, right? Because I'm really careful. I sanitize my hands all the time when I'm out. I wash my hands whenever I can when I'm out. I wear a mask whenever I can around anyone else. I am very cautious and very conscious of how I bring things into my house and make sure that I am staying as germ-free as possible, right? I'm doing my best. So if I get it, it's somebody else. Somebody else really fucked up, right? They fucking snotted on something and they touched something or they coughed in my face or they did. You know what I mean? If I get it right it's because someone made a mistake the thing is when Herman Cain got this it's because of his own stupidity yep that's

why he got it he got it because he was stubborn because he was he was too too into his own fuck it's his head so far up his own ass that he didn't fucking realize that it could kill you. Right. And this is a cancer survivor, right? He's a, he's fucking immunocompromised and he's going to a Trump rally with a bunch of other people. It's amazing to me. Like I have no sympathy for any of these motherfuckers. The thing that's amazing to me is then like when people very rightfully point out like the, the not just a schadenfreude, but, but honestly the fucking, the kind of karmic justice that is not actual karma, but you know, the, the karmic social justice. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Like they get, there's this, it's like these, these tweets,

like, oh, you know, this is not a time to politicize. Motherfuckers have been politicizing the deaths of 150,000 people. Every time you stand up and you say like, let's not wear a mask. Let's not do this. You are politicizing a health issue for your fucking benefit. So I have no patience for that. Like, oh, now that, now that somebody I love died now, it's now don't politicize it. But when it's your fucking loved one, who's dead or out of work or kids can't go back to school. Like, I'll politicize that all fucking day. Go to hell with that nonsense.

It's inherently political. The death is inherently political. So fuck you. And I'm so tired of the moralizing that goes on because it and the reason why they do it is because they're playing the victim card right now. They want to be, they don't want to hear that they were fucking wrong. They just want to play

the fucking victim card right now. And what you need to hear is that you were wrong and everybody around you was wrong and that you, if you wear a fucking mask, you are going to save somebody, period.

The end of the story. Yep. And use this death not as a fucking springboard for you to fucking hide your fucking head in the sand more deeply. Instead, use it as a way to say for you to fucking hide your fucking head in the sand more deeply. Instead, use it as a way to say, you know what?

Those people were wrong. The end. We should all just fucking pitch in and do this shit. Those people were wrong and now I'm going to use the platform that I have to correct the record. To correct it. And to drive home the point. Because now the thing is, Cecil, like they have an opportunity now to say I was wrong and here are the consequences of being wrong. Don't let it happen to you.

now to say I was wrong and here are the consequences of being wrong. Don't let it happen to you. Like there's an opportunity now to correct the record in a meaningful way and their refusal to do that in order to like avoid the shame of having been so wrong about something so important is just going to cause more people to die. Absolutely. It's just going to compound the tragedy out of their own fucking fear, out of their own like, like they don't want to admit I'm wrong. I'm a fucking giant pussy and I'm not able to admit I'm wrong. Just be wrong. I'm wrong about all kinds of shit. And the weird thing is, is the crazy thing is, is like, I don't know if you saw this week when they had Barr up there in front of everybody.

Did you see this? I saw some of it. So they had Barr up there. did you see this? I saw some of it, yeah. So they had Barr up there, and I really feel like the Democrats fucking squandered that in a huge way, because they didn't try to catch him on any kind of real major problems, which is what they should have been doing, is try to, you know, try to fucking stick it to him, make him lie under oath. Instead, they just stood up there and grandstanded, and then they would, they would, they're pointing out the right's hypocrisy, and you just want to slap the left and just say, fucking,

the right doesn't care if they're hypocrites. They've never cared. So you're using this big giant platform to point out hypocrisy. And nobody on the other side gives a fuck. Use it to try to fucking get this guy to tie himself into knots and maybe fucking, I don't know,

lie under oath. And then maybe you have something, but the bullshit about, well, you're a hypocrite. Who fucking, no, nobody cares. Everybody knows he's a hypocrite. Being hypocritical, if like, that's only a problem if you have a problem with hypocrisy. It's like, it's like telling somebody in open marriage, like, hey man, your wife is cheating on you. It's like, yeah, we're all, we're all okay with that over here. Hey man, your side is hypocritical. Like, yeah, that's a strategy. Like, we're okay with it.

Like, we don't, it literally does not have any moral compunction. Yeah, it's less baggage. I move faster into the world without my sense of hypocrisy. I move through the world like a cat.

Are you kidding me? It makes them sleek. It makes them aerodynamic. Are you, are you, fucking A, man. The one thing I will say though, and this will end our talk about coronavirus. I will say,

I will forgive 2020 all its transgressions if Louie Gohmert takes a turn for the horse. Oh, I know. Oh, because yeah, Gohmert's got the fucking COVIDs and I'm just like, oh, oh, oh. That's a good one.

That's a bad person. That's a genuinely bad person. Yeah. Like, I don't, I know Herman Cain is yes and no, kind of bad, but also kind of forgettable. Louie Gohmert's a bad dude. Yeah. And Louie Gohmert getting COVID, especially after keeping his, like opening his fucking mouth in the hearings and then not wearing a mask the whole time. So I have no idea who else in that room

got sick. But, you know, fucking A. If Louie Gohmert gets it, and Louie Gohmert has it, but if Louie Gohmert gets worse, that's... I'm ready to... I am ready to drunk text 2020. I am ready to late night

you up 2020. 2020. I am ready to late night you up 2020. Eggplant, eggplant, eggplant. Eggplant, eggplant, sploosh. You got it. Hey, has this ever happened to you? Honey, where did you

get these sex toys from? Uh, local sex shop? I didn't think Reeboks made sex toys. I don't know how I'm going to peg with this. Are you sure this is legit? Well, I went to a place called Dick's. Honey, that's a sporting goods store. Have you or a loved one accidentally gone to a sporting goods store when you should have been shopping at AdamandEve.com?

Who are you? Yes, with AdamandEve.com, you can explore thousands of products that'll make you glad you're staying home. And now, Adam & Eve is offering an exclusive discount to our listeners. That's neat. Choose almost any one item at 50% off. When you do, you'll also get free shipping, delivered discreetly, right to your door.

Just remember to use offer code GLORY. That's G-L-O-R-Y at checkout. Now this is what I'm talking about. Give me that ass. There is no what if. I am pregnant. And it is Jesus. So this story is from the progressive secular

humanist blogs over at Patheos. Bishop, daughters should be uneducated so they're not smarter than husbands. What I want to do is I want to read out loud what this guy said. This is a sermon from evangelical Bishop Adir Macedo, right? He's a Bishop of the universal church of the kingdom of God. And so here's what he said. He's talking about his daughters. When they went out, I said they would just go to high school and they wouldn't go to daughters. When they went out, I said they would just go to high school and they wouldn't go to college.

My wife supported me, but the relatives found it absurd. Why don't you go to college? Because if you graduate from a particular profession, you will serve yourself. You will work for yourself. But I don't want that. You came to serve God.

Because if she was a doctor and had a high degree of knowledge and found a boy who had a low degree of knowledge, he would not be the head. She would be the head. And if it were the head, it would not serve God's will. Quick, quick aside, two quick things. One, he is absolutely obsessed with head. He is absolutely obsessed with head. I'm telling you this, doctors get head too. Doctors get head, doctors give head. Like, you could have any job

and it's not off the table. You know who could suck the fucking chrome off a trailer hitch was Dr. Ruth. I'm telling you right now. Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Yeah, she could suck a golf ball through 50 foot of garden hose. I'm telling you, man. Unreal.

Also, I will point this out. Like there are very few lady doctors out there who are like, I'm going to find a man with no knowledge. Like that's just not generally how shit works. Generally speaking, people like are attracted to and attract other people who are like education, not generally speaking, educationally similar. Well, and mostly you find rats in the same cage, right? You find someone who's around you in some particular way. That's why there's so many people who are in PhD programs who marry someone

else in their PhD program or something, right? That's this, you're around that person all the time. And then you, you eventually become's who you're around all day. You're around that person all the time, and then you eventually become friends, and maybe you eventually become married. And the same thing happens with doctors and nurses. They're all in the same place all the time.

So the nurse marries the doctor, or the doctor marries the nurse, or whatever. Doctors marry each other. Yeah, doctors marry each other. Nurses marry each other. Nurse marries somebody else who's in the physical therapist. Those people see each other all the time. and the same thing happens in a fucking the reason when my mom and dad met the reason why my mom and dad met my mom was working as the as the like assistant dispatcher at a trucking company and my dad was a truck driver right that's how they met okay so the

same thing happens a lot of people meet the people you're around. It turns out, yeah. I know that changes now a little bit with the internet, but it's not, for a long time, that's how it was. Yeah, I also don't think there's a lot of people who are going through med school and are like, yeah, I would date a custodian. Not that there's anything wrong with a custodian. It's just that generally speaking,

people are looking for somebody that they can engage with on an intellectual level. That's very frequently something people look for. So his concern is like, well, what if this is not going to happen? It's just not going to happen. I want my daughters to marry a male, a man who has to be head. They have to be head because if they are not head, their marriage is doomed to failure. I will say, I agree.

If you don't go down, that thing's not going to last. That's just temporary at best. We get these stories all the time and a religious misogynist. At this point, I literally cannot even reach up to clutch my pearls anymore.

I just... How dare you? How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault? It's not right. It's utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain? This story comes from Al Jazeera, man shot dead for blasphemy in Pakistan courtroom.

So this, they just didn't even wait for court to happen. Like this is some guy who like, he claimed he was a prophet. And so they accused him of blasphemy because like, I guess you can only do that once and then your time is up. Like I'm not sure. Didn't they have this guy in custody for a long time?

Yeah, they had this guy in custody and they finally, like, brought him into court. And some dude just shot this fucking guy six times. He's been in police custody since 2018. Yeah. That's like the American system of justice. It is. It is. Yeah, if you're poor, absolutely it is.

Yeah. I'll tell you what, like I was doing some reading about that the other day because like I do watch some crime shows and I, you know, and it is not at all unfrequent, infrequent for there to be a two or three year gap from the time that you're arrested to the time that you're tried. And I was like, wait a minute, don't we have a constitutional right to a speedy trial? Like it's in there. You have it for exactly this reason so that people don't get like thrown in jail for indeterminate lengths of time awaiting trial. And I did some reading and you know what I discovered Cecil? You don't really have much of a right to a speedy trial. You don't, you effectively do not have that right. Yeah. It is so difficult to make a case

that because the courts are basically like, look, we're just bogged down. It takes this long for the state to put their case together. It is what it is. Holy shit. And basically, we have all agreed to shrug and say, it is what it is. And so like, if you're accused of murder, they don't

let you out, right? You're just stuck there. A lot of people spend literally years in a county jail before they're even convicted of anything, if they're ever convicted. What happens if you're not convicted? Then you go free. But do they give you any compensation for the time that you spent? No, they ruin your life.

No, they ruin your life. You get nothing, Cecil, you get nothing because you were not, because that's how the system works. Fuck you is how it works. Jesus. You do not have, and you don't. Like I've been doing some, I did a bunch of reading. It's like, you effectively do not have a right to anything approaching a speedy trial. I actually, one of the things I've been reading this book, The New Jim Crow, which is a very interesting book if people haven't read it I was turned on to it by someone I was trying to find books on black history

and I'm actually reading another one now called The Assassination of Fred Hampton which happened here in Chicago the FBI assassinated a black leader here in Chicago but the book New Jim Crow is crazy in the sense that they talk about how

many people don't get through trial because they plea bargain right away. So it never actually gets to that point because they plea bargain. And then the amount of problems that felons have in this country after they become felons have in this country after they become felons. I know that some people will say, oh yeah, well, they get to vote. Yeah, sometimes they do get to vote. They get to vote after they pay all their fines.

Well, these people are poor. They can't pay their fines. So essentially fucked. Even if you're in a position where you can pay the fucking fine, you can't actually fucking pay the fine because you can't afford it. And then you can't get a job. It's just like the worst. It's literally the worst. And it's

essentially, and then they police way, way, way more heavily in black areas than they do in white areas. Even though black people and white people have the same amount of chance of committing crimes, they still police more heavily there and then they commit more felonies. And so they essentially create a permanent felon underclass that will never be able to get all the benefits of real society. They've essentially created a brand new slavery. That's insane. Yeah, it's insane. I mean, the amount of, and the amount of numbers that when you hear this, when you hear the numbers that happen in this, it's just absolutely disgusting. But, but, you know, the speedy trial thing gets, gets taken away because

a lot of these people plea. Even if they're not guilty, they'll plea. Well, there was a story we didn't cover from last week that was like one of these protesters got like roughed up and they were contesting the reason that they were arrested at the protest.

And the prosecution said no shit. Like we don't have to produce the body cam footage. So there was body cam footage of the arrest and like what led up to the arrest. And so the defense was like, well, oh yeah, yeah. They said we would like to do it. Yeah. And they're just like, well, look, this is supposed to go fast.

Yeah. This is supposed to be this other kind of case that goes fast. So we are just not going to produce the evidence that is available for the viewing of the court because we just don't, we don't have to do it because it's too much work. It would take too long. The case doesn't merit it. These things plea out. Why isn't he just pleading out?

And that was essentially what the prosecution said. Yeah. And they, I don't think that it resolved. I don't think that they got access. Like, I don't think the defense got access to the evidence. Feels like the legal system is a polite fiction. It genuinely feels like a polite fiction.

How much worse is it than you thought? Like on a scale from one to holy shit. It's so much worse, man. I thought, you know, I thought for my whole life, I thought,

ah, there's, there's this, this thing we have called the legal system. And there's just so many layers of shit in this country where you think that you're, you're protected of certain things and you're not, man. You're just not, you're just not. And the, and the, the way the system works, it's just made to fuck you. It's just made to fuck you. Um, I want to talk real quickly about this guy though, cause this guy is in the court and they shot him dead while he's in the court.

And I can't help but think that this is the blasphemy guy rolling back all the way to the blasphemy story. We actually started covering. But you go back to the blasphemy story. This guy is in court. I just like to think that the defense stood up or that actually the prosecution stood up and said, sir, we have one question.

Blah, blah, blah. The prosecution rests, your honor. Your witness. It's like a little more liquidy than human jizz. Okay, so you want me to make eye contact with the horse? Oh my God. Oh, it was on me to make eye contact with the horse? Oh, my God. Oh, it was on my finger. It got on my lip.

Gas leak from horse semen containers sparks hazmat alert at Havant Delivery Center. Fire crews have been called to a Havant parcel delivery center after a 30-liter vessel containing horse semen began to leak coolant gas. In other news, guys, there's 30 liters of horse semen. I have so many questions. I do too.

I have a lot of questions. Is it blended or is it a single malt? That's my question. That's my question. I need to know. 30 liters. That is a workout 30 liters are you serious they're like how okay all right 30 liters one teaspoon at a time baby so like does the farmer or whatever just have like a really weird Thursday? Is it like all?

Cause like, or does it like keep for a while? Is he just like, Oh my God, I got to jerk off so many horses today. I, I got to milk my stallion. I'll be back in a second.

I got to go outside and milk them. I hate jerk off Thursday. They got to put it in the, you got to put the fucking jerk off thing on the horse. And it's, it's like a milking machine. It sucks it out. Puts it on ice. Oh, hump day is the worst.

Oh, gosh. The horse is bored. You're bored. Everyone's just like oh, God. They just go to where they have to get it to and they're like ladling it into where it needs to go. It's like, Jimmy, Jimmy, bring over that big vat of horse semen. Actually, it's a little soupy. Bring the immersion blender.

I want to spin it up a little. I just want to get it a little thicker so I could use the spatula rather than pour it. There's some cornstarch in there. That'll work. You put it in an icing bag and you're piping out a rose with the semen i'm sorry i've just i i know i know that like horse semen is like harvested and like

transferred and sold but like sure again it's a volume issue that i am struggling with right now i am just wow It's just one horse who's prodigious as fuck, though. Hell yeah. That's what I like to think. I like to think there's one horse that just shoots the other horse out on like a slip and slide,

just shoots it across the room when it's finished. 30 liters? Yeah. Think of a two liter bottle. Now think of 15 two liter bottles. You could fill a water bed with that much steam. Are you kidding me?

Yeah, I fill this water bed myself. It is slightly warm. Absolutely. Yeah, it's a little warm for sure. A fire engine from Koshim Fire Station and two from Waterloo Fire Station were called to the DPD. DP.

I know. Wait a second. Parcel Delivery Center. I'm 15 again. I love this so much. I've been 15 my whole life. This is the best. This is my favorite.

The call was made after staff at the depot found, quote, a white smoky mist coming from a package. Was it sublimating? The semen was just trying to be seductive. It was like setting a mood. Hey, it's what we do. What's that smell?

Is that semen incense you have burning? Oh, God. That's so good. How disgusting is that? That's awful. There's trees in downtown Chicago that smell like jizz. I've heard of that.

There's a specific tree. I don't know what it is, but whenever I walk by it, I'm always like, is somebody fucking spunk up in this? It just smells like somebody fucking came in a bucket. It's just like somebody had a fucking spill of 30 liters of horse semen as you walk by. I don't know what kind of tree it is, but man, it smells like fucking jizz. Also too, one of the things that happened in this story is it just feels like one of those things, happened in this story is it just feels like

one of those things like you probably transport a lot of things throughout the year as a transportation company, but the one time the cops get called, it's because you were

transporting semen, right? It's like, it would be as if you went to the drugstore and they make that breathy announcement over the intercom, I need a price check

on slim fit condoms. God damn it. I like them. I like using the finger cots. What do you want from me? It's the only thing that fits in. It's like a raincoat. It's very nice.

These are the big ones. I feel like I'm flopping all over the place in there. I am flopping. God damn, it's like putting a fucking galosh on my cock. I don't want to use the big one, then I got to have a rubber band at the bottom and everything. Exactly, yeah. I got to tie another condom around the first one.

A series of condoms. I'm wearing like 14 of these things. I shared him with three other horses. There were times where I could accept it. There were times when I resented it because I wanted him there for me. Overall, you stand a pretty woman in a pretty mirror. I'll take the mirror.

So in related maybe news. It's in related news. Absolutely. I don't know. But it's just that kind of week. I guess last week was bird week. Last week was emu week. Yeah. This week.

So this is horse week. There is an emu story in our. There is. They're popping up all over the place. When. Yeah. So. So stories from K-Gab.

It's a Wyoming thing. I don't know. It's the only thing in Wyoming. Wyoming authorities investigate alleged sexual abuse of horses. So that's pretty much what that sounds like. They arrested a dude who was fucking horses. That's pretty much what it sounds like.

Well, yeah. He was breaking into places. He sexually assaulted one horse, but then they said he digitally penetrated a fall. And I was thinking, what did he put his cell phone up there? What are we talking about here? 0011

0001. I look. I know people are feeling a little lonely because the coronavirus brings the worst part of it. And I know like you got to be socially distant, you know, from other people, but like

I'm just saying like, maybe get like, maybe get like a horse magazine right now. Just like, this is not your time. Like, what the fuck? Like maybe rent Black Stallion alone. Like whatever you got to do. There's also no way you're satisfying a horse that's used to 30 liters of cum. That's all I'm saying. There's no way.

No way. a horse that's used to 30 liters of cum. That's all I'm saying. There's no way. No way. I also want to say too, in the article, it said the founders of Wyoming did not have,

there's never been anything on the books about bestiality. It's never come up. And so they don't have, they said it's actually a difficult situation there because they don't have any real laws against it because they never brought it up. And I'm thinking,

come on. People in Wyoming never thought about bestiality. Not a single time in the past. Come on. Maybe that story is in reverse. So yeah, that's not against

the law. Can we just skip over that? Because my brother-in-law, I don't want to put him away. Okay, all those in favor of making fucking animals illegal, no takers? No takers. Everyone's abstaining. All abstained. Everyone in favor of

making fucking animals illegal, go to Colorado. I think I'm having an overdose of my wife. Okay, you and your wife? Yes. Overdose of what? Marijuana. I don't know if an overdose of my wife. Okay, you and your wife? Yes. Overdose of what? Marijuana. I don't know if it had something in it.

Did you guys have fever or anything? No, I'm just, I think we're dying. Okay, how much did you guys have? I don't know. We made brownies and I think we're dead. I really do. So this story comes from WWMT, which by the way is real confusing because the W's and the M's right next to each other just looks, it looks like a mess. Kalamazoo County Sheriff directs detectives.

Well, that's a mouthful. Kalamazoo County Sheriff directs detectives to investigate message calling him fat. Okay, so I just got to read this thing. A West Michigan sheriff sent detectives to investigate a Facebook message he received calling him fat. Here's what the message says. You are a fat ass who needs to go on a diet.

Stop us from living. Come get me if you want, tubby ass fat bitch. I love it. Somebody messaged the sheriff. What was he playing Xbox Live? I know. What was happening?

Was there a nine-year-old somewhere? A nine-year-old somewhere furiously typing away on their keyboard? Like if somebody like crushes you in Call of Duty and he's the cops, you can't swat him. What are you supposed to do? You can't swat the cops. God, I wish that worked. So like, oh God,

wouldn't that be hilarious? So like, so what this guy did is he sent his detectives to go find the guy and go talk to the guy. And he claimed to like send him a threatening message.

There's nothing threatening here. Police resources. Yeah. Come and get me if you want me. T's nothing threatening here. Police resources. Come and get me if you want me, tubby ass fat bitch. I still have to come to you in order to have a physical confrontation. That's not threatening.

You're just mad that you're fat. Incidentally, he's fat. I love this story so much. He's fucking set up the police helicopter to go find a guy who said he was a duty head. It's my favorite shit.

You can't make fun of me anymore. I'm a police officer now. I'm a police officer. You got to stop bullying me. You know what's so funny is we were just talking about that one case where they won't release the data because they don't want to. But in this case, you can fucking reappropriate police fucking resources whenever somebody

hurts your fee fees. It's so amazing. It's so funny. You hear they found that. There was a person this week. I found a story where one of the people who lit fire to a car,

a police car in Seattle, they found them through Etsy. Really? They had a unique shirt on and they did some back searches and stuff like that. And they found that an Etsy store was like the only place I think that carried it. And they went through the people's who bought it

and they found the person who bought it. They found the person through backwards. It's hilarious. When they want to find somebody to burn a cop car, they certainly can. But tell you what, they certainly do move pretty slowly when it comes to cops killing unarmed citizens. They move a little slower than that. I was going to say the same thing. Like, all of a sudden, like, we're fucking all CSI Miami on this shit when it's like,

when the cops have some fucking skin in the game. But like, when somebody reports a rape, they're like, eh, what were you wearing? You know? Exactly.

What the fuck? And it turns out in this case, it mattered what she was wearing. Right. So we want to thank our patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank our patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank our newest patrons for the last several weeks, Ian.

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So we want to thank you for keeping this show going. This show is listener funded, right? I know when we hear on PBS all the time, they'll say, you know, we're listener funded. We are literally listener funded. Absolutely. We don't have a John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation

to give us a funding for our shows. So the show is made by you. And that's what's great about this show is that we can do what we want because we know that you love it. So we thank you very much for being patrons and we thank you for chipping in and making sure this show is possible.

We do this for you guys and we're so happy that you allow us to do it. So thank you so much. That means the world to us to have patrons to be able to continue to support us, especially through the pandemic, which has just been an absolutely wild ride. So we certainly would not have been able to make

all the changes we made to keep the show going without the patrons. It costs a lot to basically create two different glory holes. Yeah. That's more than just a hole saw. Yeah, no. I mean, you need a lot more. There's a pillow there that you need on either side.

Yeah, absolutely. Got to get some fucking rubber around the gasket area. Yeah, and now there's hand sanitizer that you need. Well, that's just polite. Yeah. I mean, let's not. I mean, we already had the lube, but the hand sanitizer is a new touch. Yeah.

Yeah. So we got a message from Elvis and he said that we talked last week, Tom had mentioned about Facebook saying, look, you can work from home, but wherever you fucking move, we're going to charge you that. We're going to basically cut your pay

based on your cost of living. And he said, federal civil service has been doing that for about 30 years. He said, in fact, it's a fact of life of the industry. And he said, for federal employees, it's called locality pay. For the military, it's called variable housing allowance. Yeah. And, you know, I guess I would just note that like the difference here is that like Facebook's already operating with a certain expense line on their personnel budget, right? Like, so they already, they're already spending X dollars and they've already

negotiated that like employee A is worth Y dollars and they produce a certain product and it's worth it and that's their line. And now like, it's not like, like the military is like, okay, if we station you in San Diego, we have to pay you more because housing is more expensive in San Diego. But that's because they chose to station you there. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah.

It has to do with who's giving you your marching orders. And who's making the, yeah. Who's making these choices. But Facebook has already, Facebook already is spending a certain amount for its people. And they've already said these people are worth a certain amount. That's what we negotiated.

This is just capricious. Yeah. Because like this, like this is saying, if you make a choice that betters your life, not if I make a choice to station you in San Diego and that's expensive, but instead it's like, if I, if you make a choice to go live, you know, in North Carolina, I just want to save some money too. Yeah. Fuck that. It's just awful. We got an interesting image. So funny. I'm just going to post, Jack sent it in. Jack, I love this image.

We got a message from Kelly and Kelly said, I listened to your latest podcast. You're talking about superstitions. I don't actually believe in ghosts, but in nursing homes after dark, they are creepy places. They'll definitely,

I will definitely have you seeing things and hearing shit. And I will say this, you're kind of primed for all that stuff through our media and through the stories that we hear and all that stuff. And so the human brain makes you freak out when that, when you're in those situations. I mean, one of the, one, once there was, used to be this MTV show where you had to go spend the night in a scary place. Oh yeah, I remember that show.

And they had made people go spend the night in some creepy place and they had no lights. It was literally pitch dark. I could be in here and if it's pitch dark, it's a little unnerving, right? Yeah, right. Even if I know my surroundings, the only place that I feel really, really, really comfortable is at home in the pitch dark, but many other

places, I don't feel comfortable in the pitch dark. I feel a little on edge. And so, you know, you have, you just, you just have, your body just does this thing where it's, you know, where when you're not in a natural habitat, it doesn't feel good. And your body is also primed to get that sensory information from other places and bring it along with it. So while you, you know, you might know, you might be a skeptic and an atheist, you might've watched ghost stories on TV and it gets your brain thinking. And like your point, Cecil, I think is exactly right too too about like your body will tell your mind you're scared. Like it's a feedback loop. It's like if you turn off all the

lights and you're just sitting someplace or you're like in a space that's late at night, it's mostly deserted. Like, yeah, like your body, your body is going to be primed for that response for a reason because that response keeps people safer. Like that is a response that like is evolutionarily advantageous to kick your senses up and make you more keyed up to danger. So like your body's just teaching your mind like this is scary. Avoid that shit. Cause maybe there's a lion. Like,

yeah, absolutely. It's not, it's not a bad thing. I don't think you're a bad skeptic for it. Got a message from John and he said, you know, I was listening to you guys last week and you're talking about your disbelief on decorum

on the Senate floor. And he said, I want to bring your attention back to 2004 when Dick Cheney said he could not be prouder of that time that he told Pat Leahy to go fuck himself on the Senate floor. Yeah. That was Dick Cheney's a fucking monster though he is and yeah he did say but when he was asked about that he did say it's sort of the best thing i ever did and i have to say yeah but dick cheney that's a low fucking bar yeah like i mean you know killing a hundred thousand iraqis is is probably second on the list right yeah shooting your buddy in the face and making him apologize like like when Dick Cheney is like your bar for like ethical behavior,

you gotta re-fucking calibrate. Got a message from Jay and he said, you know, have you ever noticed a lot of people who hate the proverbial burger flipper are also the ones that bemoan the loss of manufacturing jobs? You know, when we talk about labor,

just labor in general, there's a lot of people that are unskilled labor that hate other unskilled labor. Yeah. It's weird. And then there's, and then,

and then there's also the, the people who want to, you've heard the argument about, you want to pay a burger flipper $15 an hour, but, but an EMT makes $15 an hour. And the problem is, is that the people on the top want to want us to fight each other.

Yes. They want us to fight. They want us to fight each other over who's getting you can't pay that person that much I'm making that much. Instead of turning to the person above them and saying, yeah, they should be making that much and I should be making more. That's not how it works for them.

I've heard that so many times and it's like the counter is always like, well, then we criminally underpay EMT workers, which is by the way, fucking true. We like criminally underpay EMT workers, which is by the way, fucking true. We like criminally underpay certain people. Like being judgy about a hard day's work is a shitty thing to do. Like, yeah, I don't care what you, some of the, like we were talking before last episode, man, I remember like working at Burger King and like after a lunch shift, like, and I was a fucking robust, energetic, like 17

year old man. And like, yeah, I would come home and be like, that was a lot of work. I worked super, like I'd be sweating, like pouring sweat, moving fast, lifting heavy fucking boxes of shit, running as fast, like as you could over greasy floors to like run to get another box of this thing and that thing. And you're like hustling, hustling, hustling. And you would do it for hours on end. I mean, I fucking busted my ass at that job. I busted my ass. I used to work at an industrial kitchen, industrial cafeteria, and the lunch service there was fucking disaster every day. We were understaffed because they don't need you there all day.

The people that they need there all day, they have the perfect amount of staff for, and everybody's all hands on deck for lunch. And so sometimes I was the guy who would be the one who would handle certain parts of refilling certain things on the buffet and whatnot. But there were other days when I had to run that grill and that was just, it was just a line of people out the door every day, just constantly for, for three straight hours, you're just making people's food straight away. Just you're, you're basically a line cook. They come up, I want a double burger. Okay. Boom, boom, boom. You know, you're just constantly cooking the whole time. And then you're, you're the only one there. So you're constantly figuring out what they want. What do they want on it? You know what I mean? It's so much work. People throw it out there as

if it's nothing. It's a lot of work and we expect a lot out of those people and we pay them very, very little. What was the worst of your early job experience? What was the worst job you ever had? UPS. UPS. I quit. I walked off UPS. After how long? I never quit a job. I was sick. I had started working there and I was there for maybe three weeks. And the job was hard. They yelled at you all the time to hurry up. Constantly, I would be unloading a truck and they would constantly walk up and say, you got to move faster. And I'm literally moving as fast as I can. I'm pouring sweat. I'm going as fast as I possibly can. And they're yelling at you to go faster constantly. And then I remember I was on the truck and sick and I was moving a little slow that day. And the

guy yelled at me too many times. I said, fuck you. And I walked right off the job. And the guy said, you can't leave. And I said, fuck you. I can't fucking leave. Watch me leave. He's like, you can't, you can't quit. I said, fucking watch me, dude. What are you, kidding me? The fuck out of here. I walked the fuck off that job. What about you? It's a tie.

Boston Market was horrible. I worked at a Boston Market for a few months. And that job was like, there's only one person in the back making all the food. So one guy's job is to come in in the morning early and prep all the chickens and do the rotisserie. And all the rest of that food was made by one person. So the whole back kitchen is staffed by one person. And you're just all day just like schlepping stuff in and out of like ovens and these big steamers and like making enormous, ginormous vats of like gravy and shit. And it was just like,

it was not only difficult work, but like, like this is going to sound, but it was very, very lonely work because you're hustling all day. And I think a lot of those jobs are like that too, that you're hustling all day and you're like alone. Your, your job isolates you from other people. You don't have any meaningful interaction with anybody else. Those jobs are difficult on the soul too. They're difficult on the body, but they're just difficult for people. I'm a people person. It was not my job at all. It was ridiculous. The other job I had, the very first job I ever had was at a car wash. My dad got me a job at a car wash

and the job was to like, you know, like dry the cars with towels and like detail cars and, you know, do that kind of shit. And it was an absolute criminal enterprise. The car wash was a front. There was a guy at the car wash who sold drugs out of the car wash. So like you're supposed to get out of your car, but if you stayed in your car and like flashed your lights or honked your horn, I don't remember what it was, this dude like would come up and like your car would come out of the wash and still surrounded. And like, he'd sell drugs out of the car wash. And like a huge number of the people working at the car wash were like ex-cons and like people like right out of like, you know, troublesome. And then there's me and I'm like 15

and like people would fight for money in the detail bay. So they'd push into detail bay and like you'd get in a fight and people would be betting on who was going to win at the detail bay. It was fucking insane. And then the manager

and the assistant manager eventually robbed the place, stole all the money and all the pagers. They stole all the money and all the pagers. They stole all the money and all the pagers and shit and like tried to drive to Mexico. And so I just like rode my bike because I didn't even have a fucking car. I like rode my bike like four fucking miles to get to the stupid car wash. And I'm like, the rest of my idiot clothes. It was closed. There was a sign on the door. It was just like, fuck off. You're closed now. And I was like, oh, thank God.

I hated that job, but my dad got me that job, and I was so afraid to tell him how bad it was. So I'd come home, and I'd have all these bruises and shit. I'd be like, ah, one of the fucking whopper things hit me instead of the car. It was like some dude in the detail bay. It was like, we're fighting for money now. I'm like, I don't want

that at all. Like, what the fuck? It was the worst. But even that is still a tie for fucking Boston Market. Got a message from Aaron and he sent an image. It was very appropriate. So we're going to post it on this week's show notes. Got a message from Mary, another job. She was saying that she took a second job at McDonald's.

She was already working 40 hours a week. She wanted to work 20 hours a week. She came in after the second week. They literally scheduled her for 38.5 hours. Worked that shift and never came back. That's what happens with a second job. That's what that UPS was for me. It was just a second job.

I was just like, fuck you. I probably would not have walked off that job sick if that was my only job, but it just happened to be a second job. So I took it. I had a job like that at borders books that I would, I tried, I had a second job,

but I was so tired. I had like a newborn and a full-time job that was more than 40 hours. And like, I just needed the money. And so like, I would go to borders from like 6am to 8am and I was supposed to like alphabetize the books and I would sit on one of those little stools and I would just fall asleep because I was so tired. I would just, and the manager would come by and I'd be like fucking dreaming of sleep. Just sitting. Are you serious? Oh yeah. I wasn't

like dozing. I would sit and I'd start alphabetizing, but it's so fucking boring. And you're like, ABC. And I would just fucking fall just dead ass asleep sitting, leaned up against the shelves like just dead. That's awesome. What did they do? Did they yell at you? No, she was okay. She'd be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, you're supposed to be, she was kind of, she'd be like, you gotta

be working here. And I'm like, oh yeah, I got you. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I was just resting my brain because I was fucking asleep, bitch. And I just quit after a while because I just was like, I'm not doing good here. I'm not built for that shit.

Yeah, I'm doing a bad job. Tom, we got a message from, this is from Regina. Yeah, observation of why we're in this dumpster fire. The problem we have now is a scientifically illiterate public watching science happen in real time

and expecting the right answers right away. And that's not how science works. Your test hypotheses with tightly controlled methodology and discard the ones that the resulting data does not support. That takes time and that takes errors. Instead, we have a nation drunk on religion, which claims to have all the right answers from the beginning and doubles down when their answers are refuted by actual data. So they expect science to pick one answer and stick with it because that's what religion does. They want consistency because that provides certainty and reassurance even when it's wrong. And they care more about the comfort of answers

that never change rather than if the answers are correct. I think that absolutely nails a certain segment of society. Absolutely nails it. Well stated. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely does. I think you're absolutely right. I think it's, it's one of those things that, uh, that, um, that we are dealing with right now. And I said this before, and I think, I think it really matters. Stupid doesn't hurt as much as it used to being stupid and being anti-science should hurt. And you're seeing some people right now reaping the benefits of that, right? We talked about Herman Cain earlier. Stupid hurt him a lot, right? Stupid hurt people. It can kill you. And right now, it definitely can hurt you.

The problem is that stupid is a collateral damage on other people now, right? So we're in a position now where if you do something stupid, you could damage your family, people around you. The more pigheaded you are about whether or not you're going to wear this mask, the more people around you that get stuck in this collateral damage because of your stubbornness. So, you know, it's not just that stupid hurts you, stupid hurts other people too.

All right, well, that's going to wrap it up for this week. We are going to, we'll see, we're going to have a guest within a week or two. We're not sure exactly when, we're hoping soon. We're looking forward to that. And we're going to hopefully have a Bulgarian for charity soon because we got to really get on these. But we'll keep you posted.

We are going to leave you like we always do though with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble,

toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing,

water, downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches

wizards vaccine nuts shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only.

All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you.