Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 567: De-Radicalizers

Episode Date: March 8, 2021

Show Notes

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Gl Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence

to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 567 of Cognitive Dissonance, Cecil. And here we go, buddy. Here we go, 2 million vaccinations a day. That's the number we're up to. We're up to 2 million, and they're going to have enough vaccination product to have every adult

vaccinated or to have enough, not to have us all vaccinated, enough product for vaccinations by May. It'll still take longer to get those all in arms. That's generally pretty good news. I saw this week that Cook County, which is the county that I live

in, they have they're going to be opening the United Center for mass vaccination starting with 65 or older. And then if those are not taken up, they will send out a message during the day and you could just text a number.

And if those aren't all taken, you can get in earlier. Oh, that's awesome. You have to have underlying conditions. So they're really trying to make sure that they get the people who need it the most, get it sooner. So they're doing their best to make sure that the people who are, you know, the people who are older, the people who are, they're- Diabetic.

Diabetic. They have underlying conditions. You know, they have heart disease or whatever. Whatever it is that makes you more vulnerable to this disease, they are allowing those people to jump in line as quickly as possible. I'm not able to get in that line yet. I'm not at an age where I'm at risk, and I'm also not at a health position where I'm at risk.

So I'm going to be one of the last people. I'm in group two, which is, group two is not anybody. They're just like, whatever. They're not even looking at group two yet. It's group one B they're still on. When it's not even all to your point, like it's, it's not even all of group one B because technically group one B is 65 and over and people with comorbid conditions. Yeah. But cause they expanded that definition of group one B, but then they don't have in Illinois the shots for all of 1B. So it's actually like group 1B part one. It's almost like reading a fucking obscenely difficult legal document. I'll refer you to paragraph three, subsection two, line seven. We are fucking six levels deep

inception style trying to get a goddamn vaccine right now. Absolutely. But I will say I'm, I'm, I'm encouraged by the, by the push that we have. I mean, we, I'm encouraged by it all. I feel good about it. I feel like we are in a position right now where, uh, where the, there's more and more people getting it. I'm a little worried about places like Texas. I will say Texas is making a huge fucking mistake by just throwing the doors open. You know, here's what I want to say about this too, because people don't get this, right? The reason why we have variants is because people got it.

That's why. You have variants because someone got it and it mutated. That's why we have dangerous variants out there. So encouraging people to get it or taking restrictions out where more people are definitely going to get it is a bad idea because you just create more variants that we have to fight against. You know, I was going to say, I don't want to rain on your parade, but I do want to point out there is an irrational exuberance right now, to borrow a Greenspan term, that I think is not based on reality. So, right now, we are still at 60,000 cases a day. Yeah, it's not a terrible. Yeah. But it's worse than it was all summer. That's the same as it was at the trailing end or middle of

October. That number is not going down anymore. That number has stabilized at 60,000 over the past six days. So that number is not continuing its downward trend. It's still 9-11 every other day in terms of body count. So it's still 3,000 every two days. That number, again, on the infection side isn't going down. There's at least three variants out there that have given people real cause for concern. And the Brazil variant, P1, is present in the United States and is not as responsive to the vaccines. And the South African variant is not as responsive. The South African variant is so not responsive to the current vaccines that the vaccines that they had from AstraZeneca,

they gave back because they were not effective. South Africa gave them back. It's not relax the fucking social distancing and mask time. It's such a stupid thing to do. It's exactly the opposite. To fuck ourselves in the ass at the finish line is the dumbest fucking thing we can do. We are not tapering off. This is as bad as it was in October in every statistical measure. And there is reason to be concerned. There is also reason to be optimistic for the first time. But we have to balance our fucking optimism

with some goddamn reality. And the thing is like, even if we got everybody in America vaccinated tomorrow, variants, because the rest of the world isn't vaccinated, most of the third world is not going to be vaccinated, according to most things I've read, till 2025. So sub-Saharan Africa and big parts of South America and, like, places where poverty is endemic,

those places aren't getting vaccinated till maybe 2025, which means more variants are going to continue to pop up because they're really fucking populous places. And there are no COVID controls. Yep. So like pretending that you can just

like fucking whip your mask off and fucking French kiss everybody at the bar tomorrow. What the fuck? Like read a book, read an anything. Read a single line of a newspaper article. Like what the fuck? Like read a book, read an anything. Read a single line of a newspaper article. Like what the fuck?

And Texas just, Texas has currently, Texas has the second highest body count currently. Yeah. Second only to California. And they're just like, ah, we're Alaska. And fucking Governor Abbott or whatever. He's like, yeah, well, we don't have to have a mandate because Texans know what they're supposed to do.

Really? If everybody just knew what they were supposed to do, you wouldn't have to mandate anything. You wouldn't have to make murder illegal if everybody just knew not to murder people. Everything would just be a kind suggestion. Right. Hey, you know what? We told you guys don't steal stuff. So, you more cops like what the fuck it just makes me crazy to do such silly nonsensical irrational shit right now like right now like we don't need another fucking january surge did you see the fucking idiots there wasn't fucking i don't know if you know who keith olbermann is yeah yeah he fucking said like we should withhold where he's Serge. Did you see the fucking idiots? There wasn't fucking, I don't know if you know who Keith Olbermann is. Yeah, yeah.

He fucking said like we should withhold the fucking vaccine from Texas if they don't follow the rules. Like, what are you a fucking- Yeah, Michael Moore said the same thing. Are you a fucking idiot?

Are you fucking stupid? You think you're gonna fuck, you're gonna punish all those people down there? You're no better than fucking Jared Kushner if you say something that stupid. I know.

Jared Kushner wanted to fucking punish people because he didn't vote for his fucking daddy-in-law. You're going to be like, oh yeah, I'm going to fucking punish all those fucking people down there? You're an asshole. Fuck you. Also like Texas is this close to blue.

Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's not like it's a state where it's like 99% of the people are walking around rooting, tooting, not mask wearing, right? So you're punishing at least 50% of the people are walking around rooting, tooting, not mask wearing, right? So you're punishing at least 50% of that population or damn near 50% of that population

for a governmental decision that they don't have any control over. Right. That's fucking crazy. That's like beating a kid because his fucking dad stole from you. And it's also too, even in the rooting, tooting states,

it's better to get them the vaccine because then there's less chance we're going to get these variants. It's better for us. It's better for selfish reasons. It's better for everybody. Right. It's better for everybody.

If they're so stupid, they're not going to wear a mask. Chances are they probably need a vaccine before I do. Yeah. I mean, like, I don't even get it. Well,

we'd have to build fucking border walls around all of those states. Ugh. That's what we would have to do. It's so stupid. The border's non-existent. States are a fucking imaginary thing. And it's such a shitty, unempathetic hot take.

It is so fucking, I'm like, oh, when I saw it this week, I was like, fuck you. I immediately unfollowed that guy on Twitter. I'm like, get the fuck out of here. Fuck you, asshole. That was a really fucking stupid thing. Do you think he meant it or do you think it was just hyperbole for the point?

Maybe, but, you know, fuck you. You know, because there's people who believe you, right? There's enough fucking millions of people who listen to you, right? You know, it's not just a stupid joke on our show where we're laughing. Because Twitter is totally different, right? I can't tell if he's laughing. I don't know if he's laughing or maniacally laughing. I don't know. You know?

That's the problem with Twitter, man. There's no fucking context. It's like, that gives everybody the ability to say shit and then walk it back and then, oh, I didn't mean, you know. Fuck that guy. fuck michael morton what the fuck is wrong with you man i know i mean that dude made like a fucking heartbreaking movie about people who are fucking on the edge of poverty their entire fucking way of life is ruined

by some rich fat cat and you're like man that guy really understands you know the empathy that it goes in no fuck it he doesn't care he doesn't give a fuck. It is an incredibly stupid fucking thing to say. It's a fucking. Thankfully, it's not something we're going to do because the current administration doesn't make fucking states beg at the fucking foot of the king in order to get fucking favors granted. Right. You don't have to like fucking lick the goddamn ring

and offer a little bit of in order to get something done because the current administration recognizes that he has a goddamn responsibility to the entire country and all 370 million or however 320 million people whatever yeah yeah right absolutely you have a fucking you have a you have a duty to all those people even the dumb ones yep even the stupid ones even the bad ones we have a duty to people in prison. Right? We have a duty to each other. Lots of those people aren't even bad.

Lots of those people, we just decided they were bad. And we threw them away. That's true. That's true. Maybe prison is exactly the wrong example, actually. Prison is a bad example, yeah. Oh, prisoners. They must have annoyed a cop sometime.

Okay, well, you're... Stop being modest. You're one of the funniest people in the cult. Thank you. In the club. What? I found this story fascinating. This story is from NPR.org.

This is a great story. Exit counselors. Exit counselors. Let me say this third time. Exit counselors. Strain to pull Americans out of a web of false conspiracies. I want to get somebody like this on the show so bad. Oh, we should try.

Ian, if you're listening to the show, you should. Ian, you should be because we pay you to listen to the show. Yeah, I don't expect you to do it for free, Ian. Yeah. Go to the notes and get somebody from this story. Get somebody from this story to come on our show. I would love to talk to somebody who does this for a living. Seriously, it'd be amazing.

It'd be amazing. So the thrust of this story is there are interventionists who work to, and we used to call it like deprogramming, but they don't call it that as much anymore, who work to pull people out of cultist organizations, right? So you used to be, you know, with the fucking Rajneeshis or the fucking Moonies or whatever. And there are people who specialize in helping you untangle that thinking. So there are people who specialize in really helping people come back to reality from these cultist ways of thinking. And this article points out that 40%, cultist ways of thinking. And this article points out that 40%, 40% of Americans right now, according to an Ipsos poll, 40% of Americans believe one of the major QAnon or election related conspiracies. 40%. And that is a 40% of Americans have a fundamental break with reality. With reality, yeah. And there is more work

than these people can possibly do right now. These interventionists whose job it is, and they describe the process, and it is a labor-intensive, long, laborious process to slowly build trust and to build connection and to create empathy in order for people, in order for you to kind of pull apart and untangle this fucking web. Because one of the problems they describe in the cultist way of thinking is the cultist way of thinking and the QAnon shit and the fucking election fraud shit, that's all cult shit. It meets a psychological need. And so just trying to argue your way out of something is not going to work because you have to disengage somebody's

need, right? They're filling a need right now, emotional, psychological, or social. And the needs include camaraderie, right? That's one of the needs, right? They're camaraderie. When they connect with other people who believe the same thing the righteousness that they feel when they when they think about how right they are and how wrong you are that's a need that they're filling right they're calling in life do you remember this when we were when we were kids we used to talk about this all the time you and i used to talk about this quite a bit when we first met about how we didn't feel like we were going to do anything great with our lives. And we felt cheated out of that, right? This is that. This is that

writ large, right? It's this big, I mean, it's the whole message of that Fight Club movie, which is, you know, which is, you're not going to do anything. It's a message of a lot of movies that were around that time. Fight Club, The Matrix, and American Beauty are all the same. They're all the same movie in really fundamental ways because they speak to that desire for something to matter, for your life to matter. And that whole concept, this changes that. And we talked about this before, Tom, many times with religion, right? So let's stop talking about conspiracy theories because they're all connected, right? We're talking about religion now. It's the same type of thinking. There's a intergalactic, inter-time, inter-dimensional war going on,

and I'm a pawn or a piece in that war. I am a God warrior. I am protecting the world and this particular realm from Satan, right? I'm fucking in a world of Warcraft. Like I, you suddenly give grand meaning to your life when you start thinking like this and thinking, think how hard it is. How hard is it to get your kid to stop playing Fortnite for Christ's sakes? Think about how hard it is to break somebody in this. You know what I mean? Like, this is your life. This is what you're thinking about all the time. This is, you're embedded in this. And this is just,

I'm just talking about a few little touchy topics. There are so many hard tethers to these people that are so hard to break and they are so defensive of. And you have to really be careful and weave your way in and hopefully you can break them. But it's very difficult.

It is. It's crazy difficult. And one of the things you said just struck me. In order to break those tethers, you can't just walk up and just chop them right in half. That's why internet fights don't work. Right. That's the pointlessness of that whole thing. There is a fragility to people

when these things are shattered in front of them. And that's not good. And people will work really hard to avoid that kind of mental trauma and vulnerability and emotional distress. So that's not, even if you could do that, that wouldn't be a good thing. You wouldn't not, that wouldn't, even if you could do that, that

wouldn't be a good thing. You wouldn't be doing that person any fucking favors. You really have to do a, do the work of finding and empathizing and coming to, to a mutual, coming to some common ground and then slowly moving that common ground and slowly moving that common ground. And so, and it's this laborious process, but it's a fucking essential. The problem is we can't do it at scale. The problem is, and this article does a good job of pointing it out. Part of the problem is that you can poison people

because you're feeding them something they want. We live, let's call it out. We live in a society that doesn't have good answers, right? We live in a society where for many of us, you wake up and you don't know why. And you go to work because it's the next thing you got to do. And you grind for fucking 10 years and it doesn't fucking matter. And it doesn't fucking mean anything. And nothing seems to give your life real purpose. And something like this, I know that sounds nihilistic as fuck, but it is true. For many, many people, we don't have lives or jobs that are implicitly and inherently fulfilling. Something like this comes along and it offers you the ability to know something, right? that there is an evil and that you can fight it and that there is a good and you're on that side.

It really contextualizes the world in ways that we build our whole lives. We build fairy tales and narratives our whole life telling us that there's a big dragon at the end of the castle. And I think it's very upsetting for a lot of people to get to the end of the castle and realize there's just more castle. Yeah, yeah.

And things like this fill that void. And it's essential that we understand that like many of us also feel that void. Yeah. You know? I want to say too, you know, I've always said that I think, you know, Marsh is an excellent skeptic and I do mean it.

And we had him on the show. I want to say it was the last time or the previous time we talked to him, Tom. And we were talking to him about these conspiracy theories and we were talking to him about anti-vaccination. And I remember him saying, you've got to find that common ground with that person to say, we both care about kids.

Right. You know, do you remember him? I remember him saying this and it's so meaningful. And when you hear, if you listen to say, we both care about kids. Right. You know, do you remember him? I remember him saying this and it's so meaningful. And when you hear, if you listen to this article, go to this, just go to this website, go to our show notes, go to the NPR. It's 11 minutes, right? It's worth listening to this woman

talk to this other person on the phone and have a conversation with this person who's a QAnon believer. She's a ex-Mooney and she's trying to have this conversation and look at all the ways she tries to plug herself into this other person to say, we are alike.

We are alike. We are more alike than we are different. And we need to focus on the more alike than we need to focus on the different. We want things to be true. We want things to be, you know, we want justice. We want these things, but we've got to find ways to quantify those things and to make sure that they're quality, to qualify those things, to qualify whether or not the election was stolen. How would you prove that to me? You know what I mean? Like, that's an important thing

to ask because people just take it on faith that the election was stolen. And you say, well, how would you, if you were trying to convince me, how would you prove that to me? And that's an important step. This is also Anthony Magna Bosco. We had him on the show. We, you know, trying to figure out how you believe what you believe is a very important thing for somebody who thinks, for somebody who tries to, you know, who just tries to come to terms with their self. You've got to figure out why you think what you think.

And you've got to think about that all the time because, you know, epistemology is important. It's important to know the things you know, and it's important to know why you think those things are true. That's all so important. And if you lose sight of that,

you get QAnon. You get people storming into the fucking Capitol. You get them rifling through Nancy Pelosi's fucking lectern looking for secrets. Man, and that's a great point because I guarantee, Cecil, every motherfucker who stormed the Capitol got into a fucking internet fight with somebody that had more facts. Yep. And it didn't fucking work.

It didn't work. It did not matter. That's not how you do it because you can't strip something from someone without offering them something in return. If all you do is take away something that, that fills an emotional and psychological need for somebody, if all you do is offer to hurt them, don't be surprised when they don't fucking take you up on that offer. Yeah. That's not, and it's not a tempting fucking offer. You have to offer to give something back. And if part of what you give back is a, I've been there too. I feel you. Yeah. That's, it's, that's, what's so interesting about like the Mooney, right. And that's a religious, that's a religious cult. And this other cult,

they have a lot in common. They have more in common than they have differences. The detail is where they differ. The fundamentals is where they connect. What I also think too is really interesting is that they are pointing out that disinformation doesn't have to infect the entire populace. Disinformation only has to gum up the works, right? So you'll get people, you gum up

enough works and now look at what's happening with the voting decisions across the country now. You gummed it up enough with enough chatter about how the election was stolen. You did enough work to gum it up. So now there's real conversations on the table all across the country about whether or not they're going to allow people to vote by mail in the future, whether or not they're going to be allowing for absentee voting, if they're going to be, you know, extending voting hours, allowing, you know, I mean, there's all this crazy shit that they're talking about all over the country now. Voter ID laws that we never had before. They're looking to implement all this stuff because they created a lie narrative

that made it seem like there was voter fraud, rampant voter fraud. Well, you didn't have to get everybody in America to believe in it. You just had to get the right, you just had to throw the right wrench in the right cog. You didn't have to get everybody to do it. And then they're talking about these people who come to the town hall meetings where the people come to a town hall meeting before the meeting would be an hour long.

Now it's six hours long with people reading big, long diatribes about how it's a plandemic. It's like an army of Karens have marched into your fucking meeting and they are now gumming up the whole works and people are quitting. I genuinely, as time has gone on, especially with this QAnon thing, it has gone from, holy shit, that's David Icke level crazy. Look at this Liz Crokin. How many fingers does she have again? Anyway, you know, like you go, you go through this stuff where you're laughing. You're like, Oh God, this is so stupid. Oh my gosh. And now we're getting to a point where, you know, these people genuinely think it's real and it's not just a couple of people.

It's a lot of people. It's so many people. And you know, they're saying that one of the statistics they spouted out, you said 40% of the people or whatever. But the reason why is because only 26% of Republicans think Joe Biden actually won legitimately. Oh my, you just... The benefit we have right now... I don't even know what to say about that.

The benefit we have right now is that they... I keep seeing articles that talk about how much Trump was a super spreader of these things. And again, we're going back to another guest, but Dan and Jordan said it might not have been him. It might have been his mentions, right? It might have been things, the sort of orbit of shit that fucking circles him, all the cesspool of misinformation that orbited him like a fucking diseased moon when he was in office. The same thing. It's the same idea, whether it's him or whether it's the garbage that's attracted to him. It's not getting the same fucking megaphone it had before. That's good. But we need to, we need to build off that and see that and say, no, that's something we need to build off of. We need to look at this and see that and say, no, that's something we need to build off of.

We need to look at this and say there needs to be absolute, something has to happen to you. If you are a fucking political official and you say something like that, you should fucking lose your job. Sorry, you just lose your job. You know, I mean, you hit on something that I do want to talk about too,

that ever since Trump got kicked off of the major social media platforms, he got kicked off of Facebook, he got kicked off of Twitter, it turned the volume way the fuck down on that nonsense. Right, right. And to your point, in numerically measurable, huge, quantitatively valuable ways. It turned the narrative down on that. And I do want to point out that that was always possible.

It was, you're 100% right, Tom. You're 100% right. I know this is my fucking high horse, but I have to fucking say it because that was always fucking possible. And it is possible about vaccine disinformation. It's possible. Absolutely.

It's a fucking, like, if you don't think that that's a fucking flip of a fucking switch, you're just wrong. You're just wrong. It is possible. They're getting too much data.

They're getting too much data. They don't want to, they don't want to give up the money from the data, Tom. We are at a place where, to your point, 26% of Republicans don't believe that the

peaceful transition of democratic power happened the way it was supposed to happen. That's a big fucking deal. 40% of Americans, 40% of Americans believe in one of the major QAnon or election-based theories. That's almost every other person in America. And that shit spreads because we allow, and there's a handful of individual people. We allow that shit to spread unchecked through these social media platforms. That's just what it is. And if you want to know that that's not true, post a fucking picture of a nipple on Facebook and watch how fast that comes down. Comes down like that because they're fucking looking for it. And they could

look for the other shit. They could look for blatantly untrue, poisonous fucking shit. They could look for it tomorrow and they could turn that off. They could look for the people that are super spreaders. And there's nobody that's going to sell me that they don't know who those people are. They could look for the super spreaders of disinformation about vaccines. They could turn them off and they don't. They could look for the super spreaders of disinformation about vaccines. They could turn them off and they don't. They could look for the super spreaders of disinformation about election integrity, turn that shit off. They could do that tomorrow and the world would get better and lives would be saved. More people would be alive. Objectively, if you found the super spreaders talking about

the fucking bullshit mask stuff and you just turned them off, they could have done it six months ago. They could have done it three months ago. They could have done it nine months ago. They could do it tomorrow and they're not doing it. They're not. And people are going to die because of those decisions. That's a big fucking deal. And you ought to be fucking aware of it because it's happening. And it's not just social media because the social media makes these people popular. And then they get brought on to major media networks.

I know people who don't ever turn social media on ever. I know a couple people that are older that don't turn on social media ever, or maybe one of them doesn't, that sort of thing. But they're watching Fox News who brings on somebody like fucking whoever the fuck. I mean, fucking Dave Rubin's a Twitter star. He got his start on YouTube.

He's on fucking Tucker Carlson, man. See, it's not like these people who get their start on YouTube don't fucking wind up. I've seen Sam Seder on fucking MSNBC. So I know like you get on these, you get enough following on these places. They will pull you up. It's like the minor leagues out here, man.

They'll pull you up into the majors and put you on in front of a million or a half a million people at a time. They'll do it all the time. But how many major news stories have you seen, read and heard about something Trump tweeted? Exactly. And that goes away if he can't fucking tweet. Same thing. So one reinforces the other. If you pull the megaphone back from the individual,

the individual is no longer able to spread that poisonous bullshit. And that could be done. no longer able to spread that poisonous bullshit. Yep. And that could be done. It could be, it could have always been done. And again, like if you want proof of how easy it is, post a nipple. Yep.

Post one fucking nipple on Facebook and try to share it around and see how fast that shit gets taken down because they have fucking systems in place to make sure nobody sees a fucking titty. Yep. But post something about how masks aren't effective. That'll move. Yep. Post post something about how masks aren't effective. That'll move. Yep.

Post some shit about how the vaccine, you know, poisons your blood. And you're like, I've seen this shit. Like, I'm sure you've seen this shit. Like, people are worried that, like, people are going to get the vaccine and then they're going to go give blood. And then people who didn't get the vaccine are going to get tainted DNA altered blood when they go get this. Shut your fucking mouth. That shit is all over the internet right now. But the thing is, like, it doesn't have to be.

That could just get, they could turn the volume, they can't turn the spigot off, but you can turn it way the fuck down. Yeah. And they don't. And that's on purpose. And that's the reason we need fucking exit counselors. Yep. To come all the way back. That's the reason we need exit counselors, man.

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I will tell them. I don't know what that means. That's not a thing, unless people want it to be, in which case I will do that. Okay, fine. Ian's stream is... I said it oh no you said it go to adamandeve.com use code glory everybody please for the love of gods that don't exist but just get some sex toys please for me or for anybody, for you, for everybody. Just do a sex with yourself

or someone. You know, a bunch of someone. Okay, bye. I'm Dr. Nicholas Van Helsing, professor of proctology and other related tendencies. Graduate of the University of Rangoon and assorted night classes

at the Knoxville, Tennessee College of Faith Healing. You may be a little overqualified for this job. Oh my God, this story is exactly what you think it is. KMOV 4, St. Louis Archdiocese calls Johnson & Johnson vaccine morally compromised. Urges Catholics to seek alternatives. So just in case there was any doubt in your mind about whether or not the Catholic Church was not a consummately selfish and evil organization,

because there is an aborted fetal cell line somewhere in the manufacture and research process of the fucking Johnson and Johnson vaccine. By the way, those cells have just been reproduced and reproduced and reproduced and reproduced and reproduced and reproduced and reproduced

and reproduced. It's not like they have to go out and fucking kill a baby for every fucking vaccine that they fucking need, right? Harvest the fetus every time. It's fucking ridiculous. They have to say a spell

to their dark lord every time they do it. That work is already done. Like, you don't have to fucking call in the fucking dementors. Yeah, no, it's fine. You just say it one time and then you control C, control V. It's no problem.

The fucking Death Eaters do not have to show up every time you want to create a vaccine. God. You know, don't get the J&J vaccine. There's not enough. There's not enough people who are already fucking crazy worried about vaccines because they don't understand how they work. Let's show some religious-based ignorance around it.

Yeah, you should throw some more of that in it. And by the same logic, if a kid was hurt in that situation, shouldn't your whole organization be defunct? I mean, if a kid was hurt with a vaccine, creating a vaccine, how many kids were hurt by you? I mean, if a kid was hurt with a vaccine, creating a vaccine, like how many kids were hurt by you? I mean, Jesus Christ. Dude, I'm so fucking pro-life, I'll kill your grandma. Wait, what? Yeah. I'm so fucking pro-life, your uncle with diabetes is

going to cough himself to death because I love babies. You know, babies are just the initial stage of people, right? No, fuck that. We don't understand that. Somehow we don't understand that. Do you know, Tom, that there are 500,000 Catholics in the St. Louis archdiocese? I had no idea. 500,000 Catholics in their archdiocese. It's a big megaphone to teach them some fucking nonsense, buddy. I mean, dude, here's the thing, It's a big megaphone to teach them some fucking nonsense, buddy. I mean, dude, here's the thing, right? What if there wasn't another vaccine, Tom?

What if there wasn't anything available but the Janssen and Johnson vaccine? What would you do then? What would your message be then, right? Would it be okay if there wasn't anything else? If there wasn't an option out there? Because you know it wouldn't be. You know it wouldn't be. You know they would be telling people that they need to die if they're older, if they're older and sickly and whatever they should just die sorry you just we're just gonna we're willing to fucking we're willing to fucking vote

you off the island sorry that's how our morals work here right in the catholic church yeah well cecil we wouldn't want to take advantage of cells which have already been derived from a death. Like, you know, if you said like, Tom, we have to kill you, but 500,000 lives will be saved. I'd be like, that sucks for me. Yeah. But that's the trolley problem, man. Yeah, it really is. And like, that's an easy problem for Tom. Like, I'll say my goodbyes, and I might run away at the end. You might have to catch me because I'm a big pussy. You got to catch him and hold him down.

But still, I ain't all that fast. They get you. They're like shooting rumps around you like the fucking Jurassic Park thing. You need one fast friend and four strong friends. That's all you need. It's fine. I'm saying, but you know what I mean?

Like tomorrow, tomorrow, Cecil, literally tomorrow, if I had to sacrifice my life for a half a million other people to live, who wouldn't do that? I wouldn't, but that's fine. Yes.

I mean, Ian wouldn't do it, but like real, like good people. Good people would. Who wouldn't do that? Oh, well,

this baby died. Well, it's fucking already dead. Let's fucking have lunch and not just that but like you said it's not like they're killing a baby every time they have to make it's not like one baby one vaccine you don't squeeze the baby into a thing

and then shoot it into your arm this giant fucking plunger with a baby in it it's a fucking couple cells or something it's not a baby you have a huge baby sticking out of your arm. You're like, um, is there going to be any side effects? After a couple days,

you just pull the umbilical cord and it comes out. It's like a party popper on your arm. Just poof. And it shoots out. Fucking English Christmas crackers. It pops out of there. Holy shit! Look at that! I squeezed it like a zit and I popped that fucking baby out.

You unscrew it and a bunch of snakes come out. They'll shoot out. The baby was like a whole can full of snakes. That was weird. It's just full of air.

You pull it out. Is this your card? Actually, the problem is you pull it out and it's just more babies and more handkerchiefs. You know? You just keep

pulling them out. What's this? What's going on? You need a baby? Gets to the end, there's a whole glass of water. You're like, how does that even work? And there's a dove in the water. Why is the guy giving me a vaccine wearing an absurd top hat and has a wand? It doesn't seem.

Eli is just delivering every vaccine. He's making a tiger jump through a hoop before he does it. Okay, we're going to give you a vaccine, and we're going to need a volunteer from the audience. It turns out we're going to need a volunteer. This lovely lady in the front's all about you. Okay, we actually saw her legs off.

That trick went bad. Guy's on the stage and he's in a straight jacket. He's got to get out to get the vaccine. Struggling. You show up to the vaccination center and inexplicably David Blaine is just in a chunk of ice. It's like, what is that? Why is that even over there? He's making weird faces at you

like that weird... Okay. This vaccination was brought to you by Mind Freak. The government totally sucks, you government totally sucks. Ben Franklin was a rebel

indeed. He liked to get naked while he smoked on the weed. He was a genius, but if he was here today, the government would f*** his right to say. Now let me tell you something about the government. He's f***ing up the environment. They're taking all the f***ing beautiful animals, yeah, and making them f***ing extinct. Oh no, oh yeah, the government totally

sucks, you f***. The government totally sucks. The government totally sucks the government totally sucks this story comes from vox.com the house has passed the george floyd justice and policing act which sounds like great news i don't think it's gonna get past the senate oh but it's still great news um in the sense that at least somebody is it gonna get stomped under Manchin's heel again? Oh, God, I know. The guy's made himself important. I know. I know.

But, you know, I read this, and I was really actually encouraged that at least it got past the House. Of course, party line vote, because here are the things, and I want to go through these things. Here's the place where we are divided as a country. It's unbelievable. This is such a no-brainer of an argument. This is bipartisan. here's the place where we are divided as a country. It's unbelievable.

This is such a, it's such a no brainer. This is bipartisan. No brainer of a bill. It's such a no brainer. Yeah. So I want to read some of the, some of the items on here that have suddenly become partisan issues.

One provision in the bill addresses qualified immunity. Now what qualified immunity is, is a legal precedent that gives government officials, including police officers, broad protections against lawsuits. So that means when a cop kicks the shit out of you, or as I saw, I saw a video yesterday about some poor guy who was just harassed for seemingly doing nothing. They sicked a dog on him and they told the dog to bite him for three fucking minutes. this dog savaged this poor fucking guy so when that happens and even if they find the cop did something wrong you still can't sue that fucking guy because they have qualified

dog has to give up its bed to you it's just like I like that bed here's that old shoe here's my knotted rope you can have that you're just like I'm taking all your fucking slobbery tennis balls fuck you I'll take your half-eaten pig's ear you get a sheriff to lift

the couch up so you can get everything out alright You get a sheriff to lift the couch up so you can get everything out. All right. And no humping legs for three weeks. That's yeah. No humping legs are not a good boy. You can have a Kong, but we're not putting peanut butter in it. Peanut butter.

That's it. Peanut butter. That's it. You have to take your pills without any peanut butter. That's how this works. No, but seriously, you're right. You can't sue a fucking... That guy could fuck you up and you

can't sue them because they have immunity from there. It's like that fucking movie, that fucking Lethal Weapon, where the guy could do whatever he wanted. Remember? You've probably never seen it. I never saw Lethal Weapon 2. Lethal Weapon 2, they were from South America and they were, they were

from South America and they were dignitaries and so they had immunity from diplomatic immunity. They kept saying it over and over.

Every time he, he's just like, look somebody in the face and shoot them in the face and be like, diplomatic immunity and then walk away. I know it doesn't work like that

but still, that's what it feels like when you hear these stories about this awful, this guy who did this terrible thing. Well, too bad. Diplomatic immunity, whatever. I have qualified immunity. I can do what I want.

And again, qualified immunity protects police officers, broadly speaking, even when they have been found guilty of wrongdoing. Yep, yep. That's insane. That's fucking insane. So, you know, it would kind of get rid of that piece. And then police officers might be like, wow, I've got some fucking skin

in this game right now. Right. So that evidently is a partisan fucking issue. The bill would also create a national database of police misconduct and require federal law enforcement officials to use body and dash cameras. Okay. Why would you not want a national database of policemen? The reason you want that, and we talked about this on the last episode, the reason you want that is because these guys get fired from one job for like excessive force or whatever, and then

they just call their buddy one precinct over because everybody's fucking jerk each other off all the time, and they get a fucking job in the neighboring fucking precinct or district or state or city. That's it. We can't do that if there get a fucking job in the neighboring fucking precinct or district or state or city that's it well you can't do that if there's a fucking national database you'd be like i'd like a job it's like well you you kind of beat a lot of people so we're gonna pass on that hard pass well we do it with sex offenders right we have a national database of them

where we we have a database for your credit history man man. Yeah. We care if you didn't, we care more about whether or not you were late paying your fucking discover bill than whether a cop beat a woman on the side of the road. And all the arguments I've ever heard against body cams are all, oh yeah, they don't do anything and they're not going to change their behavior or whatever.

But that's bullshit because look at how many of these cops tamper with their shit or they think that it's bullshit because look at how many of these cops tamper with their shit or they think that it's off and they beat the shit out of somebody. And then they find out that it's on later. And we've had a couple of things come through even recently. I mean, Laquan McDonald,

you know, with that body cam and other body cams that have come out after the fact where these people have been, they've been horrible. And we've found out through those body cams, I think that that's an absolutely 100%. It's a nonsense. You need that 100%.

And no, it's not going to stop these people from being awful. It's just not. I'm not saying it's going to do that. But what it's going to allow is for you to go after those people who have been awful a little easier. It might not do anything, but if it puts them on a database that they're across the United States and they lose their job,

that might change things, right? A couple of these things in conjunction can really change the game and make it so that it's safer for more people in the United States. Why wouldn't you want that? It's not like the body cam is somehow going to get in their way

of capturing someone. Oh, the body cam is too heavy and I couldn't run after that guy. You're not running after him anyway. Who are you kidding? Come on. Well, they don't seem to object to another weapon on their fucking belt. No, absolutely not. They don't object to another fucking, you know, weapon on their goddamn bat utility belt.

The reason they don't want a body cam is they don't want to be held accountable. They don't want, if you have a body cam, you can create standards, train to those standards, and hold people accountable when they don't meet those standards. And that's it. Why the fuck does Comcast record every call? Your call can be recorded for quality purposes, but I can't record

a fucking police arrest for quality purposes? Why the fuck not, man? And the thing is, like you said, it works hand-in-hand with the others, right? So if you get rid of qualified immunity and a cop beats the shit out of me, I can subpoena his fucking dash cam footage, and then I can bring it into court. Yeah.

You know, the Laquan McDonald thing, they falsified the police record. Without the camera footage, if you read the police record, it says he was doing things that might have justified that shooting. But then when you watch it, he was walking away. Yeah. Which is a lot different than what they wrote down, which he was charging them with a knife. And then they shot him like a million times while he was walking away. Yeah. Which is a lot different than what they wrote down, which he was charging them with a knife. Yeah. And then they shot him

like a million times while he was walking away. Yeah, absolutely. You read that report and you hear that report and you think, oh my gosh, that sounds like a terrible thing.

Wow. And then the reporters who find that report and report on it in the story, they don't have that footage so they just say, oh, there was a police,

what do they call those? Officer involved shooting, they'll say. Right, yeah. And it was a lie. It was a fucking lie. They straight up lied. They all just got together and were like, hey man, we all cool with him running at me. Yep. Okay. He ran a bill. Okay. Well, I'll say bill. He ran a bill. Cool. And that's what they did. And you're right. It works in conjunction with all these other things too. Man, think about how much, if you had to pay for your own insurance as a police officer, right? Let's think about it this way.

Let's say that there's none of this stuff happens, but you have to pay insurance to insure you to make sure that you don't do anything wrongful. And if you're wrongful, just like a doctor has to have malpractice insurance, you have to have this kind of insurance, police insurance, whatever it does, right? And it protects you, the person, from this stuff. Because if you get rid of a qualified immunity, you're liable. So you have to get this insurance. Well, guess what, man? You only get

one chance at that because the moment those insurance people start finding out that you're fucking up, yoink, make it so they have to do that. Suddenly, put a business in there. Put the business interests in there and it'll get fixed. It'll get fixed instantly. You're not at all wrong. And even if the individual police officer didn't have to pay the premium,

even if the municipality or the county or the state paid the premium, what that would mean is that they would have skin in the game to hire right, to train right, to screen and eliminate people who are, because there'd be a ton of money on the line, a ton of money on the line. So it doesn't even entirely matter who pays for it. In fact, it might be better if the person that paid for it was a larger organization, right?

Because they can nip the problem in the bud. They make X amount of dollars a year. If you're making, if you're earning only X and you're, they're having to pay almost as much as your salary

to make sure that you don't, you don't hurt anybody because your insurance is so high. They're not going to hire you. That's twice the money.

That's twice the benefits. They're not going to hire you for that job and you're not going to get hired from any place across the country. They're not going to hire you. That's twice the money. That's twice the benefits. They're not going to hire you for that job. And you're not going to get hired from any place across the country. They're not going to do it because your insurance is going to follow you around because a good insurance agent isn't going to just, he's going to do the background search. Just like if I want to get car insurance, man.

They're going to look at my record because that's kept. And they'll find out. And they'll, they'll, and they're, because their money's in the game now. Yep. And if you lie to them, if you do any of that stuff, then you're off. Now you're liable for it. Yeah. We can just create, that's a great point. Create financial incentives. Yeah. The other thing this bill does is it prevents, it bans the use of chokeholds. Oh gosh. I mean, do we have to go there? It bans the use of chokeholds. Oh, gosh.

I mean, do we have to go there? Seriously. We ban the use of chokeholds. Maybe you should just, if you're a cop, maybe you should be like, fuck, I don't want to accidentally kill a guy. I'm just not going to fucking choke people. I mean, we have to say out loud, don't choke people.

That's something we have to say out loud is maybe no choking. Really? What is it? Is this like a first date? I know you've watched MMA with me before, so you know MMA. How fast do those referees have to act when a guy is getting choked? Within seconds.

It's seconds. As soon as they see a guy getting choked, they're immediately watching him being choked. And it's not you're losing air, you're losing blood to your brain, right? So it's not that I'm losing air. It's not like, because I can hold my breath for a couple minutes,

you know what I mean? Before I finally get knocked out. But the blood to your brain is seconds. It's seconds and it's damaging. The longer they hold that hold, the worse off you're going to be. And so there's highly trained people who watch people who do this for a living in a giant cage. And so these there there's highly trained people who watch people who do

this for a living in a giant cage. And that's all over the country. They watch them like a hawk to make sure that they don't spend a second more being choked, but we're okay with somebody who may or may not be guilty of something, right? They're not guilty yet. They're just being apprehended. So that possibly they haven't done anything wrong. And we've seen that plenty of times where they haven't done anything wrong and they're getting apprehended, right? That's happened a bunch of times. So they could be being apprehended for literally nothing and they could be choked to death.

Yeah. Well, and the MMA is a great example because that's an incredibly controlled environment. The chaos of the fight in MMA is an incredibly controlled environment. You take a choke hold, which is as dangerous as you describe, and you move it out of a controlled environment, and then you put it in the hands of somebody who is much less trained than an MMA fighter to perform that same move. And the likelihood and the chance for risk is through the roof. These guys already have guns and tasers and batons and radios that call lots of your buddies.

And friends. Like, are you fucking kidding? Now you also need, well, I got to be able to choke a dude. What else do you want to do? Yeah. Like, you know, I want to be able to choke him and poke out his eyes. I think I should be able to poke his eyes out. I think I should be able to use this thing

to stop his heart, this gun. You know what? I think I should be able to Civil War amputate one of his legs. I think that should be out there. Just to slow him down just for a minute. It's a hobbling. We're doing it to hobbling.

It's a great movie, the hobbling. We see police forces all over the world that don't have these same things that they're doing they're not using chokeholds they're not shooting people when they run away they're not fucking running them over with their car they're not sicking the dog on them for six minutes you see this from different police

officers all over the world and it's because you know one it's because we have guns we allow normal citizens to just have guns in this country. And so police have to be ultra careful because anybody could just

like have guns, 60 fucking guns on them at any point. But the fact is, is that they just don't, I mean, we also don't, they're not necessarily

have to be trained at all. And the last thing that this bill would do is it would prevent the issuance of no-knock warrants in drug cases. Oh, no, there's one more.

Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. I'm going to get one more after this. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that was the last one. No, criminalizing sexual misconduct is another one. Oh, I must have skipped over that. Wait a minute.

That's not already criminalized? How did I even miss that? Wait, wait a minute. You're a cop and you could... You could have sex with the person. I mean, it's not a criminal for them to have sex with somebody who is, like, in their custody. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm going to scroll.

Criminalizing... Why don't you just read it? Just read it, Tom. It's in the article. It's maybe three quarters of the way down. Criminalizing sexual misconduct. The Justice and Policing Act works to decrease sexual assaults by making any sexual contact between a federal officer and someone they are detaining illegal and punishable by a fine as well as up to 15 years imprisonment.

How is that not already illegal? Wait a minute. How is that not? You just fucking arrest somebody and you're like, well, I mean, I should be able to fuck them yeah and it says down here many police sexual assaults aren't reported you can I can't even believe that that's not something

you can go to jail for are you fucking kidding me I mean I you can't and there's and there's stories of these people

these predators that get on the force and they will they'll they'll coerce so many people into and sexually assault so many people because it's so easy to coerce somebody when you have power. Well, I guess, Cecil, I guess I knew that that sort of thing would go on for exactly the reason. But I thought that it was illegal if you got caught.

I didn't think it was like you got caught and you just got fired from your job. And then, by the way, then nobody knows you got fired. So you just get a job fucking people in the next, literally fucking over the community. The next community over. What is this, the Catholic Church? I was just going to say, it's when you have to say out loud that you're criminalizing sexual assault and that wasn't criminal before. You're just like, what fucking planet am I living on? I like all sexual assault should be criminal.

I don't get it. I thought it was, I don't get it. I don't get it. Well, yeah, she totally, I arrested her and that got her hot and she totally wanted to.

I do too. I know, man, it's so ridiculous. I do too. I do want to mention the military equipment before you, before you wrap this up because the military equipment is one of those things like,

I know this as a cook in my kitchen. I know I have five or six gadgets that I would never use if I didn't own them. I would never seek out. And the same thing goes for all different kinds of stuff. These people go out and they get all these brand new toys and then they want to use them. That's why they bring in SWAT teams to drug busts. They don't even need it, right? You don't even need it. There's just, you probably wouldn't

even need anything like that, but they'll bring an entire armed paramilitary unit to bust some drug bust. And so, because they want to play the game. dude did you did you happen to watch the uh last week tonight about police raids that just came out last week i i didn't get a chance to watch it yet but but i'm gonna watch it it's yeah there's a scene in it where the police raid the wrong house right so they fucking like kick this dude's door in and they fucking pile into this guy's house police police and they fucking you know hands up and traumatize everybody who lives there. And then later, the guy turns out has like security cameras in his house.

And when they figure out that this guy wasn't the right guy, they're like, oh, you know, we're sorry. Hey, you have cameras. Can we watch ourselves? And they watch themselves like, oh, we look so cool. I'm not even kidding, Cecil. They're like, oh, play it over again. I want to watch me kick that door in.

It's that guy's door. And he's just like replaying the trauma for their enjoyment. They're fucking, they're like, don't, seriously, they're watching it like, oh, that's awesome, man. We look cool. And they're laughing. And then one guy turns to him and is like, oh, don't worry, we're not laughing at you.

But they're very clearly laughing. This is so cruel. It's so unbelievably cruel. Dude, we fucked that dude's house. We did a good job raiding the wrong fucking house. But seriously though, isn't that the same thing as these military vehicles, right? Where you just, I got a thing, I want to use it.

Oh man, don't I look like a badass with this fucking gun? Don't I look like a kick-ass dude with this fucking tank that I'm driving down the street? I'm going to get a selfie with this tank. Look at how badass I am. Dude, it's like playing Call of Duty and getting a cool skin and being like, I'm going to wear this cool skin. I'm going to put a battering ram on my fucking Dodge Ram and it's a battering Dodge Ram. We need, we seriously need so much more than this. And the fact is, is that some of these things

were bipartisan before. Some of these things were bipartisan. And now they're not. And it's because we live in this, there's no more, we just don't live in a place

where people want to work together anymore. I mean, like, we could make, you could make the world better. You could make America arguably better by putting in reform. And it's not even the defund the police, which I'm 100% behind. Hell, I'm behind repurposing the police. Almost 100%. I'm almost 100% behind taking them and saying,

there is a very strict group of things that you're allowed to do. The rest of it, just stay out of it. Don't do any of it. You aren't good at it. Don't do it. Just stay back. I wouldn't, I say the same thing to my wife when she comes into the kitchen. Can I help? No, you cannot help. There's nothing you can do. You cannot, I don't want you to do a single thing. I want you to sit there and drink your wine and smile that's it don't touch anything every time you touch a knife

I feel like you're gonna cut your own arm off okay put it away don't touch it and so the same thing here it's just like there's shit you're not good at man

you're just bad at it you'll go to have somebody who's having a fucking mental breakdown who's like having just like a bad day and you will kill that person I know

it happened there's no reason for that you are day and you will kill that person. There's no reason for that. You are bad at your job, man. That's not your day. And you know, it's maybe you're not even bad at your job. You're just bad because we're asking you to do something you shouldn't do. Don't ask me to fix a fucking, uh, uh, an internet server. Cause I don't know what I'm doing. I would be like, I don't know. There's a pasta going here. I wouldn't have any idea. Don't ask these people to do something they can't fucking handle that they are not trained to do. And then we ask them to do it all the time. They should be the ones telling us we're not trained to do this. Help us. They should be the

ones. I don't know why that doesn't happen. Like in so many other instances, people in jobs that have had work creep like this, raise their hand and say, this was never the intended mission of our organization. Right. And for some, the cops are just like, well, yeah, but if I get a tank out of it. Yeah. Yeah. I'll shoot a guy who's having a bad day. I mean, I got to shoot somebody. Otherwise, why do I have a gun? Heck, I'm just a simple fella some folks call a Cartesian, follower of Rene Descartes. And without immediate sensory proof, how am I to take government existence as a prima facie assumption?

But if we're all just brains in a jar, I gotta pay you for grazing my imaginary brain jar cattle? Who do you take me for, John Locke? brain jar cattle. Who do you take me for, f***ing John Locke? Right now, somewhere, a junior philosophy major just f***ed his pants. This story comes from CNN.com. Cows are sacred in India. Critics say a new national exam politicizes the animal. Man, this is fucking weird. All right, so India's introduced a nationwide cow science exam. Cow science. The exam, it's optional.

It's for primary school and university students. It's an optional exam. The general public can also take it. university students an optional exam. The general public can also take it. And they want to do this because they want people to really like know how magical their cows are. Indian cows, I got to go through some of the, Indian cows have more better magic, by the way, than your local Jersey cow. So if you are an American listener, we don't have a lot of Indian listeners. If you're an American listener and you've got cows, I want you to know

your cow is not as good as magic. No. Your cow is bad at magic. Not as much magic. You should have an Indian cow. There probably is a little magic in there. I don't think, it's not zero magic.

Yeah, I would say that cheese is magical. So, I mean, like that's a magic. And if they produce cheese, that's a magic. Ice cream's magic, sure. Ben and Jerry would argue that they can turn dairy into gold. I mean, good beef brisket is magic, too. I mean, the cows do have a lot of magic in them.

As animals go, they are the gift that keeps on giving. There's a lot of magic in them. I mean, so P.K. R.K.A.. There's a lot of magic in it. I mean, so PKRKA chairman, I'm not going to pronounce it. No way I'm going to pronounce it. He said, I love this statement. The science in cows must be

explored. I am a cancer surgeon myself, so I can attest to that. I don't have any idea how any of those sentences co-relate in any way. What's amazing is when he's a cancer surgeon, he turns and he goes scalpel and you hear

and then the cow's pushing it over with its horn on the cherry, just sort of pushing it over at him. It turns out you're going to need some chemo therapy. it over Adam. It turns out you're going to need some chemo therapy.

Don't worry, this doctor wouldn't steer you wrong. He went to Bovine University. That's a Simpsons deep cut. Then he follows up that line of nonsense by saying, even if a cow doesn't give milk, cow dung and cow urine is so precious.

Oh, come on now. That's so gross. That's so nasty. What? What? What the actual, what are you, what, what? My precious. What? What are you saying?

Well, look, I don't get any milk out of this cow, but I mean, it shits everywhere, and that's a real joy. So disgusting. Then they go on and say some other crazy shit about cows. They talk about the religious and medical significance of cows. They never say anything. The cow is a living heritage, not just of Hindus, but of humanity. In the world traditions, the cow stands for fertility,

prosperity in life, and is often called the mother ancestor, perhaps for being the first mammal to be domesticated by man. I looked that up. It's not the first mammal to be domesticated by man. It's goats. So, no, you didn't do that. Yeah, goats are smaller. It just makes sense. Like, do the one that's not going to run you over and kill you.

Like, it's super easy. Yeah. one that's not going to run you over and kill you. Like, it's super easy. Yeah. The document also claims that large-scale slaughterhouses lead to major earthquakes, a claim that suggests that the pain emitted by mass slaughter can generate enough stress to trigger a seismic reaction. Huh.

So the reason that there are earthquakes is beef brisket. And I'm saying that's a price i'm willing to pay me too man yeah a hundred percent absolutely i like my cows shaken not stirred i mean come on let's do this if you said to me man no more steak or every once in a while there's a little shimmy shake people weren't expecting i'd be like fucking shake it off bitch i know i know you're not a fan of those of those fake meats, right? Like so far you haven't. I've only tried them once and it didn't hit you.

You didn't like the thing. I eat that Beyond meat all the time. I eat the different Beyond meats all the time. And I don't dislike Impossible either. But I tried this chicken, this Commander Cluck. It's called or something. That's a great name. It's awesome.

And I'll tell you what, I didn't hate it. Now I'm not saying it tastes like chicken because I don't think it tastes like chicken, right? It doesn't have the same flavor. It's not the same texture, but it's firm and it's sort of what you would expect if you're eating chunks of chicken. And I thought it was really good. So I was really on this high for a while. I was, oh man, this is all great. And so I saw breakfast sausage and I know you don't even like breakfast sausage. So I, you know, for you, it's a non-starter.

That's a non-starter. But I'm a huge fan of breakfast sausage. My wife is too. So we ordered it and I tasted it. It's just immediately, I was like, that is not for me. Like, holy shit. They can make a burger. They, I can make stroganoff and some other things out of this fake meat that are, that's passable.

The taco meat is okay too. When you do it that way, I can make this commander cluck and I can chop it up and, and make a quick pasta sauce with it. And it tastes pretty good. But that fucking breakfast sausage is a fucking crime against humanity. Tom, this is the worst thing I've tasted. I put it, I had made it too. Like, you know, one of those days when you get up and you're hungry and you're like, man, I'm hungry. You know, I slept, you know, six hours and I'm just like, oh man, I didn't eat anything from like five o'clock in the afternoon yesterday.

And I'm hungry now. And it's, it's Saturday morning. So I'm going to make a couple of nice over medium eggs. I'm going to make a bagel. I'm going to put a couple of nice over medium eggs. I'm going to make a bagel. I'm going to put a couple of these sausage patties on there and bite into it and all the yolk's going to splurt all over it. It's going to be glorious and amazing. And it's like a delicious, thick, everything bagel.

And you're just so excited. And I've been to that. It was just like gag reflex immediately. It was an immediate, it was so bad. I literally cannot even place the flavor. It didn't taste like anything I've ever had in my life. It tasted like

hurting and sadness. That's the closest I could get. It was the worst thing I've ever eaten. It was so bad. And the thing is sometimes these things vaguely taste like the thing that you're supposed to be. It didn't even vaguely taste like breakfast sausage. It just tasted like a hurting.

It was the worst. I've never, like I will, I would punch a cow to death before I eat that again. You'd get all like fucking hearted darkness on a cow. It's just like, yeah, chop its head off.

Oh, ridiculous. Oh my God. Did you see the tweet though in this one? They're talking about the guy drinking the urine? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He says, does the chairman drink cow urine every day?

What now? Wait, what now? And do you have to, do you have to, do you have to like pump the tail to get it to come out? Is that how it works? I don't know. Well, do you remember that video we saw

where they were literally collecting the urine from standing cows and drinking it on the spot? Oh, God, that's so disgusting. And they were trying to propose drinking cow urine to cure the rona for a hot minute. And I think some people still are. They still are. Cow is full of science. It needs to be explored, man. are they still are cow is full of science it needs to

be explored man it sure does full of science you can open a cow and it's not primal cuts it's just uh oh that's this one's full of science oh you know this one's full of history oh this is full of uh language arts huh oh that one's uh it's mostly what's inside easter eggs inside this one it's just it's uh jelly beans and some of that grass. You open it up and there's a Kinder egg in there and it hurts you. It's like painful. Wow. Bite into it and it like sticks in your mouth.

You have to sue the Kinder egg company. That's why we have to kill so many cows. You never know what's inside them. It could be science. You know, it could be art history. It's like earlier, you open it up and snakes shoot out. So we want to thank our patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank our newest patrons, Tiffany,

JP, Drew, and Chris, and the people who upped their patronage, Christian. Thank you so much for your generous donations. We really do truly appreciate it. Patrons get an ad free show. And so some of you, especially after some recent ads might be more interested in that.

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That would also be helpful. We are going to skip email this week. We did a short stream. If you were upset by last week's commercial, you could go check the stream out. Ian gave a short presentation this week on the stream, which was basically an apology to talk about some certain things. So if you're interested in that,

you can check that out on this week's stream. Next week's stream should be at a regular time, 9 p.m. Central on Thursday night. So come check us out then. And that's going to be it for this week. Tom and I did join in with the Godawful Movie crew. Noah had the night off.

And so Tom and I joined Eli and Heath for a Godawful Movies of Drive Angry, which I believe will be out the week that this releases. So you can go check us out on Godawful Movies. We had a lot of fun. We talked about Nicolas Cage

and Amber Heard and it was a good time. So come check it out. Godawful Movies, we joined them this week. That is going to wrap it up for this week though. We are going to leave you

like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons

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