Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 57: Do Not Take Part in Skull and Bones

Episode Date: July 22, 2012

Texas Rep. Gohmert on Aurora shooting: We’ve told God ‘we don’t want him around’ Muslim cleric's letter to the Sun about preventing sex assault Argentine Rx: Take 70 Beetles And Call Me in the Morning Fox News not pleased with St. Paul Saints’ Atheist Night, calls for ‘All good Christians to pray for rain’ Egypt sentences “swingers” couple to 7 years in jail The horror! The horror! A TV channel for faceless women. Boy Scouts: Our 'anti-gay' policy stands 10-year-old gives birth to baby boy Parents: Neighborhood watch death not God's plan Global outrage over QLD's 'gay panic defence' Clips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PezlFNTGWv4, BBC newswipe episode, allahu akbar, Quack PSA, Fox and Friends, Jesus Camp, Michelle Bachman on Gays, A Few Good Men.Visit our Website at http://dissonancepod.com for more info. APPARENTLY IF YOU ENJOY ANY OF THESE ACTIVITIES ‘THEY ARE DOORWAYS TO DEMONIC POSSESSION’

Do you want to get cognitive dissonance streamed to your iPhone or Blackberry? If so, download Stitcher free today at Stitcher.com. Tonight at 10, a mass shooting at a school in Germany leaves 16 people dead. Yes, because on the same day as the peace demonstration, a lone maniac in Germany went berserk with a gun, killing 16 people. This senseless tragedy provided material for news reports for days to follow. First, there were the initial dramatic breakdowns detailing precisely how the carnage unfolded.

There was grim, voyeuristic mobile phone footage of the gunman's last moments and a chilling reconstruction of a warning he apparently posted on the internet. He typed these words, ''Everybody's laughing at me. ''No-one sees my potential. I'm serious.'' Which later turned out to be almost certainly false, incidentally.

Two days later, even footage from an old ping pong tournament in which the back of the gunman's head was vaguely visible was still considered news. The latest pictures of Kretschmer show him playing table tennis, his favourite sport. And three days later, even worse footage pixelated to the point where it looked like a broadcast from the f***ing Lego dimension. dimension well that was considered news too in the video kretschmer is shown taking part in an arm wrestling contest in rottenberg last year yeah i think if i squint i could just about make out the face of a killer isn't the news brilliant repeatedly showing us a killer's face isn't news it's just rubbernecking and what's more this sort of coverage only serves to turn this murdering little twat into a sort of nihilistic

pin-up boy. One thing the news kept plaintively asking was why this had happened. Why? What had triggered in the mind of a seemingly normal teenager such fury and alienation? Well, if you want to know why, why not ask a forensic psychiatrist? We've had 20 years of mass murders, throughout which I have repeatedly told CNN and our other media, if you don't want to propagate more mass murders, don't start the story with sirens blaring.

The school day had only just begun when the attacker struck. Don't have photographs of the killer. The 17-year-old's three-hour rampage ended in his own death. just begun when the attacker struck. Don't have photographs of the killer. The 17 year old's three-hour rampage ended in his own death. Don't make this 24-7 coverage. The German Chancellor is about to give her reaction, we'll bring that to you live. Do everything you can not to make the body count the lead story. Carnage in the classroom, 16 people are dead. Not to make the killer some kind of anti-hero. Dressed in black combat gear, the gunman opened fire at random.

Do localize this story to the affected community and make it as boring as possible in every other market. Because every time we have intense saturation coverage of a mass murder, we expect to see one or two more within a week be advised that this show is not for children the faint of heart or the easily offended the explicit tag is there for a reason This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 57 of Cognitive Dissonance.

This is the we didn't really get Greta Christina on episode of Cognitive Dissonance. This is the We Didn't Really Get Greta Christina On episode of Cognitive Dissonance. So we'll try a little harder, I guess. Next time. Next time? Next time, soon, we hope. So you're just going to have to suffer through an episode of us with no guest.

Now, Cecil, we would be remiss if we didn't talk about the recent shooting in Colorado. As everybody, I'm sure, is aware, a gunman shot up a theater. It was holding an advance midnight screening of the new Batman movie. And what's particularly of note for our show is Texas Representative Gohmert on the Aurora shooting. And he had some pretty insightful comments about it. Oh, yeah.

In response to the mass shooting, he told I Stuck Live, whatever that is, that he believed the country's move away from its Judeo-Christian beliefs was responsible for God withdrawing his protective hand from the country. God withdrawing his protective hand from the country. So bad things didn't happen during the mythical time period that never occurred. Right. When America had deeper Judeo-Christian roots. When God was protecting us.

Right. And he says here, he says, he says, where, where, what have we done with God? We've told him that we don't want him around. I kind of like that protective hand being present. And what I wonder is, is when he's saying, we told him we don't want him around, so either God is fucking super weak and has to fucking

obey our commands. We're like, get away. And he's like, okay, I gotta go away now. Or he's so fucking stubborn and childish that he's like, you know, I'm not gonna go help. I'm not gonna save any of those people from dying. Or he's so fucking stubborn and childish that he's like, you know, I'm not going to go help. I'm not going to save any of those people from dying. I'm just going to fucking let them die. So either he's fucking

A or B and either one, Tom, either the former or the latter isn't worth worship. Right. Yeah. No kidding. It makes God sound like a petulant teenager, right? It always does. Like a slumber party. They didn't invite me. I'm leaving.

I'm not going to protect them from bad things. Like what? And when was the time period when God's fucking protective hand, when was that? Give me a 10-year period where God's protective hand was over this great nation and protected us from horrible fucking shit. Because there is no time period there was no period in history that you're going to point to and say you know hey remember the 1950s oh that's when we disenfranchised women and blacks yeah god's protective hand but only for only for white men white dudes like when like because that's the famed period right that's

the fucking leave it to beaverism nonsense that these republitards are always referring back to. And it's fucking maddening. Yeah, they sit at home at night and fucking jerk off to leave it to beaver. You know what I mean? Like you could tell that these people love fucking leave it to beaver. They fucking, that's the fucking

perfect ideal of America. The problem is, is that's a television show. You know what I mean? That's a fucking fictionalized account of what it was really like. Go be a black man on a bus in 1950. Right. Hell, go be a black man in the

fucking armed services in 1950. The idea that there's some sort of mythical period is stupid, but this guy has got his own head up his ass, and this is another fucking you know, I see these guys, Tom I see all these fucking politicians

that like to glom onto tragedies as like ambulance chasers like they're so fucking gleeful when something bad happens and they can fucking slap, you know, their Judeo-Christian beliefs on that fucking thing, they could say i have fucking placed how this happened in this fucking grand universe that we live in i am fucking prescient

enough to know exactly the fucking mind of my creator and why this happened like you're just so arrogant of a fuck i just i can't stand people like this. So you're having him over for dinner. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's coming over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. So we started the show, Tom, with a clip, a clip from from a BBC broadcast. And it talks about these mass shootings, I think, in a really interesting way, specifically the media coverage about those things. Yeah. I'm really glad you showed me this clip earlier today. This is an interesting clip. It's a, you know, we have obviously, obviously a 24 hour news cycle.

And that leads to a tremendous amount of sensationalism. And there are certain stories that lend themselves so beautifully to this level of just voyeuristic pandering that the media is constantly engaged in in order to fill time. And that's got to be a tough thing to do. I will put that out there. It has got to be a tough thing to try to seem relevant 24 hours a day, seven days a week, nonstop, because there's not 24 hours, seven days a week, nonstop worth of shit to report on and do it well. So what the media ends up doing, I think, is they take one or two stories, they try to make them as sexy as possible, and they just cover the living bejesus out of them. And, you know, these mass shootings, I think it works to our tremendous disadvantage. Yeah, absolutely. I

think it does too. And I think what we see more and more is this glamorization of what happened. They show the person's face. Think about how many times you saw the West Virginia Tech guy's face. You saw the person who killed somebody in our state. There was somebody who went crazy and shot some people at Northern Illinois University. The Columbine kids is a perfect example of that. They're all over the place. They get their face shown on TV, and there's this, you know, and then there's the follow-up.

And the follow-up consists of all the time gun control fucking chatter. It's just constant gun control chatter. And then it's how do we prevent this stuff from happening again? Why are they doing it? Why is the kid going out and killing all these other people? Well, they're fucking imbalanced, or it's the drugs, or it's the video games, or it's the violent movies. Okay, well, what do we do about guns?

And this comes up, and this this comes up and then you get these two talking heads fucking yelling at each other for ten minutes while they're waiting to fill up another segment. And the thing is, is that it's all the same goddamn coverage. Like, if you saw it one time, you don't even have to watch what

happened with this latest shooting because you know exactly what's going to happen. And they end up reporting nothing. Yeah. Because they don't want to navigate away from the story because this is the story, right? This is the story that's going to keep people glued to CNN, glued to MSNBC, glued to Fox News, glued to whatever their 24-hour news channel of choice is. glued to Fox News, glued to whatever their 24-hour news channel of choice is.

And if they're glued to it, if they think that at any moment they could be fed the latest and greatest development on a story that, I'm just going to say some shit, isn't relevant to most people. Yeah, no, it's true. You know, most of these stories, you know, my life is not affected by the shooting in Colorado. It's not. It's an isolated incident. It's an incident that was horrible, deplorable. That is a tragedy for the families and the people that were involved. But it is a local tragedy.

It doesn't affect the economy. It doesn't affect me here sitting in Illinois. It is, for me, if I sit and stare at this thing, it's voyeurism. That's all it is. And I'm no better than a fucking rubbernecker at a car accident when I sit and I stare.

But the idea is to get people glued, to get people staring, because the more they watch that fucking thing, the more commercials they're going to see. The more ad space CNN sells, the more market share they're going to see. The more commercials. The more ad space CNN sells. The more market share they're going to get. How well we do. That story was, you know there's people sitting in a boardroom happy right now.

The people are glued to their fucking TVs watching for the latest development. What do I need to know the latest development on stories like these for? And it's ghoulish, too. I mean, it really is ghoulish. Because it's what they show. I mean, think about just, just, you know, go back to any of this coverage in your head and think about what they show you. They show you the emotion that these people that have been shot, their parents or their family or whatever are weeping and crying and wailing. And, you know, they are having a very private moment in a very public way.

And it's a fucking horrifying thing to see. But people love it. People want to see it. And it gets ratings. And, you know, it's just as—the thing is it's just as vapid as what fucking shoes Paris Hilton was wearing. It's just as vapid. It doesn't have anything to do with, you know, there's no policy going to be made about this.

You can't make overarching policy based on one shooting. You just can't do it. So, you know, nothing's going to change because of it. All we're going to do is just, you know, hold our signs up that say guns or no guns, and nobody's going to be any better off for it. And, you know,

you might as well have watched, you know, what fucking Paris Hilton's dog choked on this week. You know, I think you hit the nail on the head when you were talking about, like, this very private moment in this very public setting. I can't imagine how much aggravation and grief and insult would be added to somebody's loss. You know, if my wife was in that theater and got killed, aggravation and grief and insult would be added to somebody's loss. You know, if my wife was in that theater and got killed,

to everywhere I go to be bombarded by news, and to see it for what it is, to be a person with, you know, the ability to see through this shit and see that this is not really news, that this is just sensationalism. and see that this is not really news, that this is just sensationalism. This is just – and to these people using the deaths of these people in this theater, the death of their loved ones, their brothers and their sisters and their wives and their husbands, and these people are being fucking used for free. Yeah. It's like a reality show you don't have to pay the actors for.

Right. You know, and I think what he's saying, too, like the forensic psychologist at the end of this clip that you played, he makes a very good point. He's like, you want to stop these things, stop sensationalizing them. Yeah. And, you know, I can't help but think about natural born killers. Yeah. You know, and the sensationalization of violence and murder and how that shit just naturally begets more violence and murder. So Cecil, we've got to talk about this story from the Toronto Sun. Oh, what the fuck?

So Cecil, we've got to talk about this story from the Toronto Sun. This is a story, Muslim clerics letter to the Sun about preventing sex assault. And I just have to point out real quick that if you go to this website and you click on it, the still image that leads the video, because there's a little video clip here, has this woman like in the full ninja Muslim burqa thing, you know? And she's throwing a peace sign, but she's throwing it all sideways, so she's like a

Muslim homie from Toronto? Yeah, yeah. She's got fucking sexy hands, Tom. Look at those hands. She really shouldn't be showing those hands. Man. Them's raping hands. Gosh, sexy. That's the worst.

That is the worst joke you've ever told. This is all about, this fucking, this nutcase though is all about fucking preventing women from being provocative, right? Right, like that's his whole thing is he wrote this open letter to the Toronto Sun staff and writers basically saying, hey, there's been a bunch of sexual assaults that occurred at York University.

And he's basically saying it's because women are walking around dressed in provocative ways. So, of course, if a woman is dressed provocatively, that means that the men have been provoked. They've been provoked. They're just bulls. They're just waving red in front of them. At any moment, I know as a man, at any moment, if you wave a boob in front of me or something, I just immediately fuck whatever

I see because I'm not a human being with impulse control. Right. And as a man, I can attest that this is true. I mean, I can't walk past any holes without fucking them. And that includes, Tom, yesterday I was walking by a picnic table and it had the hole for the umbrella, and I

fucked that. Now, I will admit that that hole was pretty big. So, hey, it really wasn't all that satisfying. And those umbrellas are pretty darn thick, you know what I mean? There's a lot of girth on those umbrellas. So it wasn't that. Who are you kidding? It was one of those little those umbrellas are pretty darn thick. You know what I mean? There's a lot of girth on those umbrellas. So it wasn't that. Who are you kidding? It was one of those little cocktail umbrellas in your drink.

It was fucking a drink. You know what? The problem is like somebody's like rec room with like a knotty pine siding is just so – you can't – you get stuck down there for hours. Oh, my gosh. You just can't stop. You can't stop. And it brings – it gives a whole new meaning to time to make the donuts. You know what I mean?

Just a whole new meaning to that. That's actually how they get the donut holes out. That's how they punch them right out. What do you think the cream filling in a Boston cream is? Absolutely. It's a cock punch, I understand. Yeah, absolutely. This is terrible.

What an asshole this guy is. Well, you know what he says later on? He says you should take example from the way Muslim women dress. Why does Muslim women who wear—Tom, that doesn't sound grammatically correct to me, but I'm just going to say it. This gentleman is not a writer. I'm just throwing that out there. Why does Muslim women who wear long dress and covers her head aren't targeted. There's so many different. So it's read so bad.

I can't read it. It's like basically saying, why aren't Muslim women who I'm going to fucking paraphrase? Cause the guy's fucking barely literate, but why aren't Muslim women, uh, targeted in their own countries? And what you want to say is you want to say like,

are fucking Muslim countries rape free are they rape free and the answer is fucking clearly no because we talk about it all the time this guy is offensive on every level but he's also just an incredibly poor thinker just incredibly poor

he says the reason why a woman gets raped is because of the way she dress. Women dress so provocatively, so much. So if you dress provocatively just a little, probably okay. So much that they receive too much attention for themselves, and that attention at times leads to death. That is not true. Attention never leads to death.

The problem isn't attention. The problem is that sexual predators prey on women. That is the problem. The problem isn't that women happen to be dressing in a provocative way. The problem isn't that men are some fucking unchained beast who wander the streetsling, slack jawed and drooling, hoping for somebody to be showing some skin to fuck. Right, right. Like that's not the world. That's not a thing.

And it's not attention. No. And, you know, if it is attention, I'm glad I have attention deficit disorder. You'll live forever. Yeah. I'm never going to die. I'm immortal at this point. Yeah, you're totally right.

You know, like guys aren't walking down the street jagging off. You know what I mean? Well, I mean, there might be one, but he gets arrested. And the other thing he says here, speaking of arrested, he says, however, by arresting sexual predators. Gosh, this guy is so fucking. Oh, my God. I can't even read. My brain is like, oh, I can't read that.

Okay, so I'm going to try to read it. You're so much better at reading non-grammatical things than I am. Why don't you read where it starts with however? However, by arresting sexual predators is not going to solve the problem because as long as women continue to dress like this, there will always be perverts and rapists who will continue to remain on the loose. That is the sloppiest thinking I've ever heard. Don't arrest people that rape because there's always going to be more. Yeah. I want to point out there wasn't even a comma in that whole sentence.

There was not a semicolon to be found. Nothing. This guy is. And we're not making fun of a guy who doesn't know the language either because he's a Canadian-born Muslim. Oh, my God. Ridiculous. This idea like, you know, oh, well, we don't want the men to get in trouble when they rape women.

Like that's not the – the problem isn't the rapists in our society or a society that – you know, like there's a whole controversy. I don't know if you heard the whole controversy about like the Tosh. Oh, yeah, yeah, like there's a whole controversy. I don't know if you heard the whole controversy about like the Tosh. Oh, yeah, yeah. With the rape jokes. Yeah. And there's a legitimate conversation and controversy that's going on there. Like, you know, I mean, how much a conversation about rape is funny or is meant to be funny and how seriously do men versus women take the issue? And there's a real conversation that's to be had there.

But no, no, none of that is the problem. None of that is, there's no social, it's just that women dress too provocatively. What I'm seeing here is a guy who's turned on by a lot of women. Yeah. Right? And barely scrawling a letter to the Toronto Sun.

It's because his other hand is busy. Do you wonder if this was like written in crayon on that paper that's like got the dotted lines in the middle of it? It absolutely was. And don't ask what the envelope was sealed with, okay? Just do not ask. I'm Raymond Massey, and I have a special message for senior citizens. Today's doctors, drugs, and medical devices truly work medical miracles for young and old alike.

But there are some as phony as a $3 bill. Investigate before you invest in health services or products. Help stamp out quackery. So Cecil, this story is from the Wall Street Journal. Because the Wall Street Journal, when I think of Beatles... Wait.

I'm not sure that that's the case. The Wall Street Journal Argentine prescription. Take 70 Beatles and call me in the morning. This is a story about people eating bugs prophylactically to keep themselves free of cancer and other ailments? What? What? You know, the worst part about this is they ruined yogurt for me. They've basically ruined yogurt now.

Because at one point he says people generally consume the beetles by dropping them in a glass of water, mixing them in the yogurt, or placing them in capsules. Why would you even bother with the capsules? Why wouldn't you just fucking kill them? I don't have any idea. I don't have any idea. I don't have any idea. At what point did somebody say, man, I haven't been feeling so hot. Yeah, what's wrong?

Cancer. Whoa. Have you tried beetles? No, I hadn't tried any beetles. Oh, I've got to eat like 70 beetles. Yeah. You've got to have like. You've got to eat like 70 of them, man. Well, I've only been eating like 50 beetles. You've got to have like 70 of them, man.

Well, I've only been eating like 50 beetles. Well, there's your problem. Fucking A, man. You're not eating enough beetles. Are you some kind of asshole? Don't you realize how many beetles you should be? You know, the other thing too is that eating them alive, at one point somebody says, this woman, I'm reading from this Wall Street Journal article, At one point, somebody says, this woman, I'm reading from this Wall Street Journal article, says, this woman takes beetles as part of cancer treatment, said that swallowing the bugs with water made her feel nauseated at first, but she got over the queasiness later on in the story or maybe earlier, I'm not sure exactly where it occurs.

Somebody gets like basically they take a fucking shit ton of these beetles, stuff them in a blender and then pour them down some dude's gullet and he gets free of like throat cancer. And I wonder, I'm like, well, obviously eating them alive is fucking useless because if you're going to fucking just blend them up and pour them down somebody's fucking throat and they fixed them, what does eating it alive have to do with anything? I have no fucking – can you imagine the horror of eating a blended beetle milkshake? Dude, no, I can't actually. Will it blend? Let me tell you, yes, it will blend. Absolutely, it will blend. The horror show of this thing.

Yeah. It's, clearly, it's, how would it work? I mean, how would it work? Yeah, well, you know, look, maybe, you know, there's nothing saying that this couldn't be something. Or, you know, there could be something in there that we don't know about, whatever the fuck. But seriously, the way in which there's no control here, there's no control group, it's all just fucking hearsay and placebo, you know, that's all it is, yeah, do I feel better, sure, I feel better, or people are fucking in, you know, when they're in denial about their own cancer, they've even admit in this article that

they're fucking, the Argentinian medical field has dropped immensely in the past couple years because people are leaving the country. So the idea that this is, this would even, how do you even take this to clinical trial, Tom? Well, you know, what you would do is you would say, okay, we've got to isolate the various chemical compounds in the beetle. In the beetle.

And try to isolate which of the compounds are, you know, having the beneficial effect. But they're just, look, people all over the world eat bugs. Bug eating is, people eat bugs, fine. You know, people think, everybody in every culture thinks the next culture's, you know, dietary and culinary practices are outrageous. So I don't have a problem with eating bugs.

I don't give no fuck about eating bugs. Right, right. But you're eating live beetles to cure yourself of cancer and AIDS and asthma. Some of these people are going to eat bugs instead of taking medicine. Absolutely. You're absolutely right. I don't think that's going to work. Yeah, I mean, well, you know, you'll still have your cancer.

You just have some beetles in your gullet, you know? The trick is to imagine the beetles eating the cancer. No, imagine the beetles ninja fighting the cancer with their little legs. That's what I like to think. You know, I have asthma, and I can tell you that if I was struggling to breathe and somebody's like, quick, eat a beetle, I'd be like, fucking quick, get me an inhaler. The problem isn't something I ate or didn't eat. The problem is my lungs don't be working.

Give me a lung help. You could just inhale the beetle. I can feel the beetle fighting my asthma. All right, let's talk a little bit about this uh the saint paul saints saint paul saints a minor league baseball team up in saint paul minnesota they have in the past hosted christian nights and jewish heritage nights and so one of the bosses there said it was hypocritical if we did not host an atheist night and so the saint pa Paul Saints St. Paul Saints will become for one night the mr. Paul ain't says they take the s off of st. so here is the quote from August

Berkshire of the Minnesota atheists we thought everybody ain't got a belief in something so it was a word everybody could relate to obviously we ain't got a belief in God and you ain't got to go to that ballpark. And you ain't got it. You know what you can do? You can pray for rain that day, which all of us good Christians will be praying for. Come on, really? Baseball, American, all American, apple pie. Stay out of the ballpark. Don't bring the religion into the ballpark. Let these people have a good time. By the way, St. Paul ain't ain't ain't. Didn't they do that with the New Orleans Saints when it was the scab team? Remember that?

The Aints. Now, that's funny. This is not so funny for me. And one atheist blogger wondered if the seventh inning stretch would include the singing of Dog, Bless America. Eh, might be taking it a little too far. So, Cecil, this story comes from NBCSports.com, although it kind of doesn't have anything to do with sports. No, it really doesn't at all. Fox News not pleased with St. Paul Saints Atheist Night.

The St. Paul Saints are a minor league team and they are having they had a like a Christian night and then they had like a Jewish heritage night. And then they, you know, they had a they had an atheist night. Right. You know, and I thought it was kind of stupid, you know, to have a Christian night. Why would you do that? Yeah, I don't know why you would do that either. But fine. So they were kind of, you know, it was kind of clever.

Like, they were the saints and they called themselves the ain'ts. I thought that was kind of funny. You know? It's obviously lighthearted. I'll be honest, Tom. As soon as I heard that, I kind of wanted to get a jersey. I actually would love to have an ain'ts jersey. Yeah. Anyway. I'm going to look for one when we hang up the show

But Fox News didn't appreciate it, Cecil Fox News didn't appreciate it at all Thing is, these Fox and Friends guys have their head up each other's asses So it's like this fucking human centipede of fucking journalism Human centipede of journalism? Of course they don't fucking get it or understand it. But, you know, the guy at one point says, you know what we should do as all good Christians? Basically, I'm paraphrasing.

I mean, the guy can't even speak when he's talking. So he kind of gets all flustered and then at one point says we should all pray for rain. You notice, Tom, that he's praying for something that actually has a good possibility of being a hit, right? He's not praying for a fucking meteor shower or blizzard or he's not praying for a fucking earthquake. He's praying for rain. That's an easy one. That's because, I don't know if you knew this, but hillbilly God actually can't work outside of normal weather patterns. He is completely stifled by weather patterns.

You tell him, you're like, God, look, I understand that, you know, it's summer. But what I'd really love is to miss school for a blizzard tomorrow. Can you fucking make a blizzard happen? I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I just can't do it. There's no way. But it's summertime. I can't do it. I just can't do it. There's no way. But it's summertime.

I can't make it snow. You look outside. It's hot outside. My hands are tied. I may be all powerful, but I cannot make it snow in August. I just can't. That would be something to pray for, right? That would be something to pray for.

But instead, you're praying for rain. That's awesome. The other thing, too, is that this douchebag didn't react like this when they had the fucking Christian night there. Right, right. Didn't fucking flip off the handle and talk about apple pie. Evidently, atheists hate apple pie, too. They've never seen me eat an apple pie. Yeah.

I will eat the whole pie. The whole fucking pie, Cecil. If somebody videotaped me eating an apple pie, they would have to put not safe for work on the video. He appears to be making love to the pie with his face. What did I say earlier? I fuck everything with a hole in it. Well, an apple pie is vented. Yeah, exactly. That's why you make sure to vent it early.

Oh, God, cool it down first. Oh, no. Oh, you don't fuck Pop-Tarts either for the same reason. That's lava, dude. You can't fuck lava. You can't fuck lava. That's crazy. Yeah, the Fox and Friends, you know, they weren't even worked up when it was Jewish night, right?

It was Jewish heritage night. No, no, no. Okay. Hey, whatever. But when the atheists come to town, not so happy about that. And I just, you know, the thing is, Tom, I feel like there's this backward sort of way of saying atheism is a religion because they're somehow comparing it with these other two. You know what I mean?

Like, doesn't it feel like that to you a little bit? Yeah, it definitely does. It's silly. Like, atheists and I should just be people like not believing in baseball. You're just like, oh, we didn't, you know, we didn't go. I got to actually read some of this transcript in case you guys think that we're blowing this guy's incompetence at speech out of proportion because i i do want to point out that his job is to say things right like that's his job remember that

he's a commentator his job he doesn't produce goods he doesn't fucking smell iron ore he's not even he's not sitting at a computer like programming shit This guy's job is to say words in the right order. He is a commentator. And I quote, And you ain't, ain't, got to go to that ballpark and you ain't gotta, you know what you can do. You can pray for rain that day, which all of us good Christians will be praying for rain. Come on, really. Baseball, American, all American, apple pie.

Stay out of the ballpark. Don't bring the religion into the ballpark. Let these people have a good time. What does that even mean? It doesn't mean a thing. It doesn't mean anything.

This is a sentence. American, all American, apple pie. Stay out of the ballpark. What is this? You've got to be fucking kidding me. Tom, that would be some awesome beat poetry.

It sounds like that. It's just like, here's a series of randomly disconnected words that form a general impression. Oh, I love it. Allow me to vomit them out of my face hole at you. I love this guy so much. He's so colossally stupid, though. Like, you watch this show. Watch this show. Watch any clip from Fox and Friends in the morning, and you can just see their little fucking hamster fucking brains are trying to process what's happening in front of them.

And they are failing every moment. It is the fucking—that show is epic fail. And even the name, Fox and Friends. Yeah, fucking— Doesn't it make you wonder where the fox is? Who's the friends? It's like only the friends show up. There's no lead singer to the band.

They just all show up like, we're all rhythm. We're just a rhythm section. We can't do it. Quick, sing some backup songs i really do expect them at some point to all kind of turn each other be like have you met fox yeah because i've never met him who's this mysterious fox who keeps inviting us here every day Cecil, this story is from Bic Yasmer. I don't know how to say that. You just said it perfectly.

I learned to read phonetically. That did not work out for me for Bic Yasmer. Bic Yasmer. Egypt sentences swingers couple to seven years of jail. That's awesome. Sexy times are not so sexy in Egypt. Oh, no. I love, you know, the couple, they were arrested for trading spouses.

They haven't seen that TV show, evidently. They haven't seen the trading spouses TV show over there where we trade spouses weekly over here. What are you kidding me? On national television. Wouldn't it be funny if they were just confused with the show Trading Places? No, we were interior decorating. What the fuck? No, no.

Seven years later, fucking. I also like this is a Giza misdemeanors court. What? Misdemeanors court. What? Misdemeanor? You got seven years in jail. I miss that so bad, but that's awful, man. Could you imagine a felony? Well, I guess a felony over there is death.

I mean, really, it's no other reason, right, for this to be this, you know, for people to be so against this other than the Koran. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Like this is just part of like a like a ridiculously conservative sexual religious culture. Because who cares who's fucking who? Should that be should that be an issue? I mean, who in the world would care if, you know, swingers exist? Who would I mean, who would really care? And, you know, like, look, I understand that swingers exist.

I try not to pay attention to them because they're all I mean, they're all fat. I mean, they're all just fat people. I've never seen a swinger that you're like, hey, hey. Yeah, they just don't exist. You're like, you know, because they're the ones that everybody wants to do it with. They're probably so busy, you know, because they're the ones that everybody wants to do it with. They're probably so busy. You know what I mean? Because everybody else is fat and fugly and just like, hey man,

yeah, just fucking, I just kind of half shit my pants. I don't know if you want to bang or not. Like, they're all just fugly people. A pretty swinger is like a Bigfoot to me. You know, it's like they have the same level of believability.

But this sort of thing is just stupid. Who cares who they're fucking? Why do you care so much? Yeah, I have no idea. I agree with you, man. It's like a hot chick at a comic convention. Yeah, no kidding. There's one or two of them, but they're busy, right?

They're not hanging out with you. Well, and you always see the pictures. The thing is, is people go to Comic-Con, and you always see the pictures the thing is is people go to comic-con and you always see the pictures the hot chicks because they're the ones that people take pictures of one and they're the ones that are paid to be there yeah well like somebody's stocking the fucking pond at that point yeah well you know and there's a lot of you know fat dudes in their underoos there too. Right. But this couple was arrested for sexual trading with three other couples.

It's not like they got to keep the other couple. Sexual trading. I love it. They were just trading. It was like, hey. I love it. I like the look of your wife. Hey, I like the look of your husband. Let's swap.

No. Seven years in jail. That's a misdemeanor. What? See, so this story comes from freethoughtblogs.com. This is a story about a tv channel also in egypt um the the islamists are of course now in charge the muslim brotherhood has won the election the islamists are in charge and they're launching a new tv show and uh they've got some women in front of some some talents some female talent in front of the camera yeah either that or ghosts are they female? Sarah watches this. This is Celebrity Ghost Stories, right?

Like, this is Celebrity. This is fucking terrifying. That one looks like fucking Cobra Commander. They all look like Cobra Commander. They all look identical. How would you even reference this show? Yeah. Remember that one girl?

I forgot her name. Oh, the one wearing all black, black head to toe where her entire fucking body was covered so she was fucking nearly invisible and faceless? Yeah, her. Oh, no. No, the one next to her. And you know what happens during these shows is every time a woman comes on, they have to say their name aloud because if they don't, you have no idea if it's a mother, it's the daughter, it's the sister, you know, they could walk in the room and they could be having a conversation that any one of those people could have. So they have to announce out loud who they are every time they come on screen. Right.

Right. This is, um, and you just have to see the picture of this. Yeah. You just to, to see how crazy it is that, that, that these, these poor just have to see the picture of this. Yeah. To see how crazy it is that these poor women have to dress like this. They're wearing bed sheets. It looks like bed sheets. Top to bottom, they are covered up like they're not even fucking real. They look like they got caught in a net.

They look like snuffleupagus. They look like they got caught in a net. Yeah. They look like snuffleupagus. You know, what I want to say, though, too, Tom, is you look at this. Look at the person who's filming. I think that's a girl. Holy shit.

I think you're right. And that person's wearing just, you know, clothes. That person's wearing, like, a flannel and fucking skinny jeans. If I lived in Egypt, my understanding is, and correct me if I'm fucking wrong, my understanding is that Egypt is generally pretty warm. No kidding, right? I cannot imagine being covered up in fucking 45 yards of cotton all the time. I would be fucking naked if I lived in Egypt. I would be naked. The only clothes I would wear would be air conditioners. I would just be wearing air conditioners. Tom, but they are naked underneath

all those clothes. That's so hot. I'm actually beating off to this photo right now. So did you get to tempt that crazy guy from Toronto? It is like at some point that guy's going to realize, wait a minute, there Women are naked under their clothes. The craziest thing, too, Tom, is look at their hands. Like they're wearing gloves, too. Oh, that's terrible. They're wearing gloves. You can't.

I think they're wearing like. I mean, they fucking look like Destro. They got the fucking, you know, they got the fucking little eye slot thing. And they look pretty terrifying. Dude, they look like Snake Eyes, the ninja from G.I. Joe. That's it. Snake Eyes. That's it.

He was the coolest one. He was. Where's their sword? Who knows? There's so many hiding places. Yeah, hey, you don't want to attack those women. We're going to take a quick break here. We're going to give you all the information to contact us on Facebook, Twitter, Google+,

blog, all that other stuff. Find ways in which you can download the show and things like that. And we'll be back right after this. Want to contact Cognitive Dissonance? Visit them on Facebook. You can find the link at the website dissonancepod.com or type it in the Facebook search bar. Be sure to follow the guys on Twitter.

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for all of your fucking support. Well, Cecil, after much deliberation, the Boy Scouts have thoroughly rejected their opportunity to launch themselves into the 21st century and be decent. As reported by the New York Daily News, Boy Scouts are anti-gay policy stans. Yeah. Oh, wait. No, I guess that's bad. Yeah, that's not. Yeah, that's a bad thing. Not good. Yeah. You know, here's here's the one thing I want to say about this. The very last paragraph of this article.

So they're quoting Darren Smith, who's the Boy Scouts national spokesperson, okay? And he says, with different opinions with courtesy and respect at all times and to adamantly oppose the mistreatment of others based on any perceived difference including sexual orientation now you oppose the mistreatment of others you oppose the mistreatment of others based on sexual preference now does that include the way you're treating people now the mistreatment that you're treating people now. The mistreatment that you're treating these homosexuals with, does that include now? If you're a Boy Scout leader, you've got to think the Boy Scouts are valuable, right? And if you think the Boy Scouts are valuable

and you deny a valuable experience to these people because of their sexual preference, how can you not see that as mistreatment? Right. It's insanity. You know, and the thing is that the Boy Scouts were created by a special law passed by Congress. They're exempt from, they're a quasi-governmental institution. They're exempt from paying any taxes.

They're not like the Girl Scouts. The Girl Scouts are all privately funded. The Girl Scouts are, you know, That's why they have such delicious cookies. But the Boy Scouts are created by a special law passed by the United States. They get to exist as an organization, as a special kind of an organization that does not have to pay any taxes

on any of its income and dues. They get to have the use of federal lands. When the Boy Scouts go to state and national parks, they don't have to rent them out. So they get privileges. They get privileges that come out of your tax dollars. And yet they're discriminating based on religion. You can't be an atheist and be a Boy Scout. And they're discriminating based on sexual preference. And you're supporting that with your tax dollars. Well, Cecil, if you're going to pick one story out of the week that is just kind of heartbreaking and awful, it would be this story. It's from the New York Daily News. Ten-year-old Mexican girl has given birth to a baby boy after a 31-week pregnancy.

Mexico has laws which say that you cannot have an abortion in this particular state in Mexico unless you can prove that you are a victim of rape. Now, the state's minimum age of consent is 12. This individual gave birth at 10, so was probably raped at 9, considering you're pregnant for, you know, in this case, 31 weeks. How could they possibly deny this person? I mean, it's not even controversial. This age of consent is 12. Tom, Tom, the age of consent is 12 years old. The age of, when I was fucking 12 years old, I was fucking playing with G.I. Joe guys.

Yep. I was fucking walking around in a fucking creek up to my knees, pretending I was fucking playing with swords when they were sticks. You are not, at 12 years old, ready to make an adult decision about reproduction. Can you imagine? This woman is 10 years old. She's a fifth grader. Yeah. And a child is going to toddle up to her and say, mom.

Yeah. That's a fucking fifth grader. I mean, this poor girl was very obviously raped. There's no question about this. There's no... You can't possibly say, well, you know, maybe she was...

You know, maybe she was. Maybe it was consensual sex with a nine or ten year old girl. You can't consent at that age. Right, they're even saying, even on their barbaric standards about consent, you're still

lower than the consent age. The thing is, if she has a daughter and her daughter gets raped at 10, she could be a grandma at 20. Can you imagine that? You can't even buy a beer.

She's seriously, though, if the age of consent is 12, she could easily be a grandma at 22. Yes. Yeah. Without breaking another law. Right. Without having another law. I shouldn't say break because I don't want to imply that she broke a law but we got without any other law having been brought the idea that you could live in a state that has an age of consent that low and then you to put a barrier in place

where you have to in order to have an abortion you have to prove that you were raped i mean that's that's outrageous that is how absolutely outrageous and i think it's, you know, I think it comes from, you know, Mexico is a very religious Catholic culture. And abortion is fucking anathema to that culture. And so you know that prudish sexual barbarity comes from that sort of nonsense. And really putting an age of consent at 12 is, is basically just the state acknowledging that it's okay to rape little girls. Yeah. And you know,

Tom, here's the thing. Age of consent consent is 12 perfectly legal for a 12 year old to have sex. So before they get to 13, they could have a child. How are you supposed to fucking care for a child at 13 years old? How are you and your,

you know, possibly 13 year old husband, presuming you stayed together are supposed to start a new family, a new life with, you know, being able to take care of this new life. How is that possible? How is that even possible at 12?

I can't even imagine. I have no idea. You can't drive a car. You're like, oh, I'm off to work. Oh, it looks like I'm walking because I'm too young to drive a car. Kiss my kid goodbye. It's just a sentence to poverty. That's all it is.

That's really what it is. You're sentencing them to poverty absolutely you're you're basically ensuring that this this girl and her child have fucking awful shitty lives forever yes absolutely that's that's really what and that's what that law does it basically says hey you know there's a certain segment of our population wants to have sex with little girls and we don't want to stop them. And if that means that their lives are ruined, well, then fucking so be it. Yeah, we don't want to protect the girls. We're not interested.

They're just girls. But that problem is, is the Muslim guy, the 10-year-olds are dressing too provocatively down there, evidently. That's very true. Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord.

Open hearts. So, Cecil, this story I found everywhere. But this is from AP.org. So Zimmerman, now I'm not going to get into whether or not you guys think or we think that Zimmerman justifiably killed Trayvon Martin or not. But Zimmerman was interviewed. And in an interview, he said that it was God's plan that Trayvon Martin be killed, but Zimmerman was interviewed, and in an interview, he said that it was God's plan that Trayvon Martin be killed and that he had no regrets. How do you have no regrets when somebody died at your hand?

I mean, really, no regrets at all? Yeah. And it's God's plan? I'm not fucking responsible. I washed my hands of that shit. It was God's plan. Well, he obviously knows the hillbilly God.

He obviously knows incompetent God who's up there. He's got all of his cards in his hand. It happens to have Trevon Martin's card in his hand. He's like, oh, Butterfingers accidentally dropped it. Whoopsie. Gonna have to kill him. It's my plan.

I planned it all along. It's like the whole world is like a crazy Rube Goldberg contraption. Kidding. Right? It's so much easier. Like, your guy's just like, well, I want him to die. I'll give him a heart attack. I'll give lots of folks a heart attack.

No, I ain't gonna give him no heart attack. You know what I'll do? I'll send him out for Skittles. And then I'll send out Zimmerman, and then he'll have a gun, and he'll be kind of suspicious, and then I'll make it rain a send him out for Skittles. And then I'll send out Zimmerman and then he'll have a gun and he'll be kind of suspicious and then I'll make it rain a little so it's hard to see and then, I mean, like, what the fuck? It's God's plan? God wanted to break the Guinness Book of

World Records. He just wanted to make the first person die of Skittles. You know, let's take Trevon Martin completely out of this because this is a fucking common thing for people to say, okay? Let's just stop the, you know, let's just fucking pull Martin completely out of this because this is a fucking common thing for people to say. Let's just fucking pull it directly out of here and say this is an asshole thing to say. If you fucking drive over your fucking next-door neighbor's kid's head in your fucking driveway,

the first thing you say is like, oh, it was God's plan. Oh, God's plan. Fuck you. Take some fucking responsibility. Be like, oh, it was God's plan. Oh, God's plan. You know, fuck you. Take some fucking responsibility. Be like, oh my gosh, I wish I would have checked. I wish I wouldn't have, you know, done this. I wish I would have done this differently. I feel bad for what happened.

Someone lost a loved one. You know, this is a difficult time for everybody. There's no way I could fully sympathize with this other person's loss, but I want to try as hard as I can to empathize with that person. You know, be a fucking decent person at least instead of just fucking wiping your hands and being like, God's plan. This is just a way to just not take responsibility. And, you know, why can't we accept the idea that there's coincidence

and that there's just shit just happens because we live in a world of complex interactions with other people and other things and you know if you fucking run over the neighbor kid yeah you ran over the neighbor kid and it's not because there's some grand design to all this bullshit and i you know i get it like i get the idea that you you want these events in your life and in other people's lives to have some kind of meaning right and and and it's probably a little hard for some people to say hey that shit just happened and now i just have to feel about it i have to say it has to suck and it has to suck for

everybody but that's that's also true it's like i know that that sucks but that's also true. It's like, I know that that sucks, but that's also true. Yeah, exactly. And I also like how insulting that is to the family. Oh, yeah. You know, in this case, getting it back to Trayvon, they're like, well, fucking, we don't think it was God's plan. If you're involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle,

it's bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair, and personal enslavement. And that's why this is so dangerous. It's a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think, to say that this is gay. It's anything but gay.

See, I couldn't even believe this when I saw this. I really couldn't. I still am having a hard time. Like, this is almost, this is our, you know, for the moment of the week, this is the you can't handle the truth almost. But there's another crazier one. There's a crazier one that we're going to use for that week, this is the you can't handle the truth almost. But there's another crazier one. There's a crazier one that we're going to use for that. But this is close.

This is from same same.com. How clever. Ha ha. Shut up. Same same.com. Global outrage over Queensland's gay panic defense. Gay panic defense. Gay panic defense is a legal defense which mitigates the legal damage when somebody kills someone because of an unwanted, nonviolent homosexual advance.

So a homosexual walks up to you and is like, hey, can I buy you and you're like i think i'll bash your fucking skull in well tom you have to first panic so you have to be like oh my god holy shit well they're fucking gay oh my god and then you have to kill them that's what you have to so the panic there has to be visible panic in order for you to actually murder another person because they're gay and they think maybe you might be gay. How do they uphold this law? I don't know. Wouldn't at some point, wouldn't you just have to say out loud what you were talking

about and then everybody would say, whoa, fucking that's really crazy. We have that law? I would think this would be one of those laws like, you know, no singing in a bathtub on Tuesdays, you know, no singing in a bathtub on Tuesdays. You know, like crazy laws. Oh, no spitting on the sidewalk. No sodomy Mondays. Well, you know what this is going to do, what I would do if I was a homosexual living there is I would walk into every place that I go and proclaim my gayness as loud as I could,

like a fucking herald in the fucking courts of old. We're just like, or yay, or yay, all in attendance, understand that I am gay. And then just walk in because there's no way, Tom, that they can be surprised. There's no panic response then because they know I'm gay at that point. So I can't startle them. I can't sidle up to them and be like, hey, buddy. And then he jumps in the air and then stabs me in the face six times. You're like, hey, I got next game. Like trying to play pool.

What? I wanted to play pool. I thought you were gay. Yeah, I thought you were gay. And that's what I, you know,. Yeah, I thought you were gay. And that's what I, you know, to be honest, if you're a murderer down there, this is the best thing ever that ever happened to you. Exactly. Because you just start killing people randomly and be like, I thought they were hitting on

me. Everybody hits on me. I'm so fucking sexy. I thought they were hitting on me. Yeah, I mean, fucking, this is the sixth guy this week that has hit on me and I had to kill. Well, that's the thing. I dress provocatively.

Yeah. Yeah, it's the banana warmer, Tom. That's the thing. The most provocatively I could dress would be a parka. Like that's the height of my sexual attractiveness. Oh, that's. Yeah. The idea that you could just have a law that ensconces bigotry like this and fear and homophobia and hatred.

It's so... In Australia? I know, man. You want answers? I think I'm entitled to them. You want answers! I want the truth! You can't handle the truth!

So, Cecil, this isn't so much of a story as it is an awesome list. This comes from DangerousMinds.net. And you can backtrack all over the fucking intra tubes to try to find where this originally came from but i'm not gonna do that i'm just fucking not if you want to fine i don't care right but this is a list this is a list uh it says beloved which i like do not take part in any of these components of satan's spiritual scripture they are doorways to demonic possession and then it has a list of awesomeness yeah it does so cecil this is a rather lengthy list but i want to point out that i won't i on this list of things not to do. One of them is lycanthropy,

which is turning into a werewolf. Right, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, in case you were wondering, if you're supposed to be turning into a werewolf, and if you were a werewolf, would you be like, oh, it's fucking volunteer werewolf?

Like it's voluntary werewolf ism? Yeah, it's do not take part in any of these components. Do not take part in, Tom, skull and bones. Marijuana, which is spelled wrong. Yeah. Well, I like this one, too. Do not take part in, Tom, post-modernism.

This is like one of those. you know what this reminds me of? You know what this reminds me of, Thomas, is when you get the fortune cookie at the fucking Chinese restaurant and you're like, duh, fucking fortune smells upon you and you're supposed to say in bed afterwards. Like this reminds me of that. It's like, do not take part in back masking. me that it's like do not take part in back masking how could i possibly take part in back masking anything the only way i mean seriously why would i ever think that i would want to take part in back masking i don't have any idea what it is. Bag masking is when you, I think it's when you put something in some sort of recording that is played backwards.

And you listen to that shit backwards? Yeah, you listen to it backwards and your brain subliminally tells you to go rape women or fucking murder somebody because they're gay or something. I don't know. What if Satan's components is something. I don't know. One of Satan's components is vegetarianism. Vegetables in exclusion to the meat. The other one here, Sam, one of my favorites out here is do not take part in necromancy. Grandma, get back in the grave.

How am I supposed to take part in that? What can I do? What fucking vials do I have to fucking wave around in the air in order to make the fucking dead wake up? Can you imagine as if you need this list? You're like a werewolf that's raising the dead and somebody comes up to you like, wait, wait. Before you're a werewolf that's raising the dead, here's a list of shit. Oh, fuck. I should not have raised.

Get back in the graves. It sucks that I'm such a werewolf that. Oh, fuck. I should not have raised. Get back in the graves. It sucks that I'm such a werewolf that's raising the dead. Gosh, it's the worst job ever. Now I'll never get into heaven. I have no idea. I shouldn't be doing this. You know, there's a few of these things on here that I agree with.

I mean, Burning Man, come on. You know, what the fuck? I like that it's alt comics and they spell it with an X. This is the greatest list ever. This is really awesome. Some of these are just hilarious. And, you know, some of them are so obvious, though, right?

Video games, Harry Potter, Dungeons and Dragons, Halloween, you know, all that stuff. But the one time, you know, there's so many of these that are just so weird because you're like, do not take part in astral projection. Motherfucker, how the fuck do I take part in that? Because I totally want to. And how is that different than remote viewing? I don't know. I mean. Well, I remote view every night when I sit on the fucking couch.

Hey, can you change the channel? Not with that devil's remote. Well, the Ouija boards, Tom, I think Ouija boards, tarot cards, all that stuff seems like it should fit in here. What's trilateralism? You try it. It's three laterals. Three lateralisms. Wait, are they talking about football?

Like you're going to throw a lateral and then another lateral and then another lateral? You know, the thing is that one lateralism is okay. You know, two lateralisms, you're kind of pushing shit. Yeah, yeah. Jesus is miffed, but he's not going to send you right to hell. And I got to be honest, Tom, that they are absolutely right on with one of these, and it's the Twilight films.

So we got a couple voicemails, Tom. I want to play them for you. We got a voicemail from Desiree. We got a voicemail from someone. I'm not sure who it is. And we got a voicemail from Timothy. We're going to play them for you, and then we're going to talk about Timothy's, Desiree's,

and then, Tom, you're going to read the one that we can't identify. Hey, Tom and Cecil. This is Desiree from Simi Valley, California. I was calling as your number one black, atheist, female fan. Of course, that's your token black person for the show. You know, now you're cool with all the black people. I just want to say your show is awesome. Every month, first podcast to ever download.

If I don't get it, I get the domes like I'm coming off a crack, you know? That's saying something. So I just want to say keep up with the great show, and I'll be listening. Bye. Hello, this is George from La Charcha, Louisiana. Hello, this is George from Love Church, Louisiana. And I was going to burn you, destroy you for your blasphemous podcast. And after he's done with the homosexual roles and the feminazis and the Democrats,

he's going to destroy you and burn you in hell. And I'm going to watch as he burns you because I love you and I hate you because you're unregenerate people and you don't understand the words that I'm saying. But God is going to judge you, and he knows. I curse you right now in the name of Jesus. I curse your podcast. I curse the sound equipment and the voices that you're speaking out of that platform, the podcast. And the voices that you're speaking out of that platform of the podcast, and I tell you by the name of Jesus that this time next week,

you are not going to be proclaiming over the airwaves of this podcast. Because I curse you in Jesus' name, I can feel his prayer. Hallelujah. I can feel him all over me right now. He's going to burn you in hell, and I'm going to watch as he burns you in hell. So God bless you. You know Jesus loves you, even though I know you don't understand that. But Jesus loves you. I want you to know that he loves you while he's burning you.

And, oh, God, I feel his presence all over. Glory to Jesus. That's all. Hi, Tom. Hi, I feel his presence all over. Glory to Jesus. That's all. Hi, Tom. Hi, Cecil. Timothy here. I'm calling with a partial answer to one of your questions, a comment, and a question that I'd like answered. The first is the comment.

In the last show, you talked about the calls for the destruction of the Giza pyramids. the calls for the destruction of the Giza pyramids. That is a UNESCO heritage site, meaning that it's part of the cultural property of the entire world, not just Egypt. It's actually protected by treaty, and I would hope that they wouldn't violate that. The second is a partial answer to your question. You asked, what would happen if everyone decided to write in Jesus on the ballot? I say it's a partial answer because in the United States, we have more than 50 different election laws, one for every state and then territories, which don't vote for presidential electors but have their own elections nonetheless. It's a partial answer because I can tell you what would

happen in Illinois. In Illinois, the votes simply would not be counted. You're required to file a declaration of intent to be a write-in candidate with every election authority, meaning every county and some cities like the city of Chicago. Otherwise, your votes simply aren't counted. They can write in whatever they want. So I don't think Jesus will be filing that form and his votes will not be counted. The third is a question. You mentioned that you don't mind if people would like to parody your show or use some of your material for parody purposes. And you talked about Creative Commons

in the last show. I looked on your website. At the bottom, it simply says copyright 2012. I was wondering, is your show offered under a Creative Commons license? And if so, which one? Thanks, guys. Look forward to hearing your answers and looking forward to the next podcast. Tom, why don't you read the Google voice from the middle voicemail? Hello, this is George from Loud loud charge always anna hey there yeah and i was gonna bother you think just throw at you for your bull last almost podcast

ed after he's done with the home of sexual wells and i spam or not he's at a democrat he said it best for you about when you're a panel and i'm i'm gonna walk to he burns and because i love you and i hate to because because you're and redirect people that you don't understand the words that i'm saying but i was gonna try to see you i didn't if you know we should i proceed right now in the name of Jesus. I cursor Apollo past. I've cars, the sound equipment and voices that yours.

If you get out of that black from the ball caps and I tell you by the name of Teacher's Day this time next week, you're not going to be pro. Oh, claiming over the airwaves of this punk ass. Because I car sewage. Jesus name.

I think there is no. I don't know how to lose. I could feel game all over me right now. He's going to bar and you inhale. And I'm going to walk to the parts you inhale so god bless you you know jesus loves you hey don't know i know you don't want to stay in there but jesus loves you you don't want to know that he loves you want any part and you you know you know after the presence all over. Sorry, Jesus, that's all.

Awesome. So I want to talk about Timothy's voicemail here. So Timothy talks about the pyramids being a UNESCO heritage site. That's something I, you know, I guess I hadn't considered, Tom, that it's kind of protected. You know. There's really no way for it to happen. And we found out earlier this week that that was based off of bogus tweets anyway. So thanks for pointing out that it's a UNESCO heritage site. The other thing that he talks about is what it would take in our state to actually get a write-in. And that's a pretty difficult process. our state to actually get a write-in. And that's a pretty difficult process.

Yeah, we got a couple of different emails from people who commented on the write-in thing. And some people were adamantly in favor. They say, you know, write-ins are an important part of our democratic tradition and they have significant value. And then Tim points out that write-ins in Illinois just wouldn't be counted. It just wouldn't matter. It would be literally throwing your vote away. So I guess it matters state by state and region by region. Sure, yeah. And, you know, I guess for local things, it might matter even more. But for federal things, it doesn't, you know, there's no way to even get on the ballot. And I think that's another way.

Somebody else was pointing out that's how they disenfranchise some people that want to run but can't because they don't fit into those parties or can't get the backing from that big money. And there are many, many problems with a two-party system. Absolutely. There's nothing – but when we were saying writing in Jesus, like that just doesn't seem like a fucking useful vote at all. You would think you would go with the lesser of two evils. I mean at this point, Jesus is – Jesus I think is the most evil because you're basically allowing other people to choose for you. Yeah. You know, the funny thing about Jesus is he can't be any less effective. Yeah. Than our current politicians, despite his being fictional. Totally true. And the last comment that Tim made, Timothy made, he said, he said, you know,

if you guys are talking about Creative Commons, by the way, your site isn't Creative Commons. It's got a copyright on the bottom. I do want to point out that you can actually, under fair use, do the things that I had suggested. And that's perfectly within copyright law. You can make comments on other people's stuff using their work and then commenting on it. And you can also do parody. In fact, in this country, there was a Supreme Court case where you could do parody for profit. So there's actually an ability for somebody to do that.

So what I was talking about for them to parody our picture or comment on our picture, that's perfectly fine with the copyright that we currently have. So nobody would have to stop. I wouldn't have any legal power to stop anybody with the current copyright that we have. But the reason why, Tim, it is copyright at the bottom is because I am too lazy to change it and I have no idea how it got there. It must just be part with the blog. I never fiddled with it, so I have no idea why it's even there. But I'll tell you, when I come home from a long day of working on web stuff, I don't open up my browser to work on web stuff for this show. It just doesn't happen. So the

chances of it getting changed anytime soon are pretty low. And I would point out that the precedent established for the parody was People vs versus weird Al. That's awesome. So we got Tom excitingly excited. I'm very excited. We got two people who responded to the disclaimer idea, dumb ass and Andrew both sent in, uh, their own little recordings. Um, I think they're both podcasters, so they're kind of cheating, right? But it's still awesome that they did. So thank you very much, guys. We're going to play Dumbasses this week, and next week we'll play Andrews.

Remember, if you want to make a disclaimer for our show, all you have to do is record it. Record it. You can use Audacity or some other free program. Maybe use the microphone in your computer or another cheap microphone. You can record it and then send in a disclaimer. If we think it's funny, we'll use it. And it'd be great. But we got to and we're really happy about it. Tom, we got an email from Gardner, who is very hooked on our podcast and we think it's great.

Yeah, that's that's fantastic. Gardner, we're glad to have you listening. He got listening on his uncle's recommendation. Tell your uncle we're very sorry. Yeah. We apologize to your uncle. And we, you know, in turn, apologize to you, too. We got an email from Kathy all the way up in Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan's awesome because

I had to Google where it fucking was. I mean, I know it's in Canada. Don't get me wrong. And she mentioned it's in Canada. But I'm like, where is fucking was. I mean, I know it's in Canada. Don't get me wrong. And she mentions it's in Canada. But I'm like, where is Saskatchewan? And she mentions, too, that she's in northern Saskatchewan. I'm surprised she has electricity. They're polar bear powered up there, right?

Is Saskatchewan above Montana? Yeah, it's above Montana. And it's, I mean, it goes, it's like all the province. It goes way the fuck north. She's in northern Saskatchewan. My God, that's remote. There's only like, I looked on Wikipedia, there's only like a million people in the whole of Saskatchewan. Well, thank you for the email. We're happy to have one listener in Saskatchewan. We got a couple of emails. We mentioned it earlier about write-ins. But we also got a couple of emails and posts about Egypt and how the pyramids were not made with slave labor. slave labor. I want to thank everybody for glomming on to the non-salient

point of that and sort of telling us that it was not in slave labor. I appreciate the corrections, although I don't know that it was technically the most important part of that story. Well, it wouldn't be the internet if people weren't nitpicking.

This is so true. We got an email from Kate saying that Dearborn, Michigan is not the Mecca that it used to be. No, it is number two. It's the Medina. It's been sort of reshuffled a little bit over. But Kate also says that she ranks our podcast with Richard Dawkins, Bill Maher, Sam Harrison, Stephen Colbert as something that keeps her sane. I'm so sorry.

Dearborn must be a fucking dreadful place. Okay, so we got an email from Spoonie. And Spoonie looks like she had a great time at TAM. She went out there and went buck wild, so to speak. So congratulations on your conquests out there, Spoonie. We're very happy. I did want to say, though, that Spoonie this week, when she sent this email, sent her sex, race, and love to us.

And I just want to say, Spoonie, I didn't appreciate that because I was in the middle of a meeting when that happened, and I couldn't stand up afterwards. I had to do that whole, you know, where you stand with your book in front of you. You know, just like flexing your thigh, like go down, go down, go down, go down. If only algebra wasn't so sexy all the time. Math class was tough. Spooty, I didn't know your sex race could reach that far. Yeah.

That's impressive. Anyway, we move on to to one who who who did not get his shirt, Tom. Yeah, it didn't happen. What are you going to do? You know, it turns out when you ship shit online to South Korea, sometimes it just doesn't arrive. And, you know, the thing that sucks is— That we paid for it? Yeah, we're out $30 for it.

But, you know, the thing is, is like when I look online, all the other ones that were delivered in the States, you could fucking track. But that one, I click on the tracking and it just fucking goes blank. So I'm going to send him an email this week and see if we can maybe see if we can get you one or another one shipped out to you. Sorry about that. Did you accidentally hit North Korea? Maybe

that's the problem. Maybe Kim Jong-un is like walking around with the fucking cognitive dissonance shirt. It'd be the only piece of clothing he has that doesn't have a hole in it. This is the warmest thing in North Korea. Fucking thin-ass T-shirt. It's a thin fucking T-shirt too, man. You see the pictures of Mark on there?

He's wearing like a fucking wife beater underneath it. You could totally see right through Mark's shirt. And, you know, for the record, we did, by we, I mean Cecil, did try to find a better source for shirts. Yeah. Because the shirt's quality was not up to our standards, really. But we couldn't find one in time. I feel like such a shit, too, because you're like, I just spent, you know, like 30 or

so dollars on this shirt, and it's a shitty fucking shirt you're giving away. It's a shirt that no one should wear. I feel so bad. I'm going to see if I can find a different fucking site, but it's so, I just, I'm so fucking lazy. I just don't want to do it. And I'm not going to pitch it.

Yeah, fucking hey, it ain't going to happen. Fucking Tom's not going to do it. And I'm not going to pitch in. Yeah, fucking A. It ain't going to happen. Fucking Tom's not going to do it. All right. So that ends another wonderful, hilarious, and kind of painful episode of Cognitive Dissonance. We're going to end the show with the skeptic's creed. But stay tuned afterwards for Dumbass's disclaimer. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issueno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble

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Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The statements made on this program do not express the views or opinions of anybody, not even the hosts. Any resemblance to coherent thoughts or ideas is purely accidental. Cecil and Tom are committed to minimizing all such misunderstandings. you