Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 572: TGIA Interview

Episode Date: April 12, 2021

It was great to have TGIA with us this week! Make sure to subscribe, follow, and support them at:             Show Notes  

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical, It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 572. And Cecil, we got guests at the glory hole, man. Virtual. We have guests. Usually it's just, you know, the thing is when it's just two people who are always at the glory hole, it's not a surprise anymore.

You know, some of the magic is gone. I love you, buddy. I get it. I get it. It takes a little bit of the magic out. I get it. We are joined by Dan and Frank from Thank God I'm Atheist. Guys, welcome to the show.

It's been a long time. Hey, thanks for having us. Yeah, it has been a minute, hasn't it? It's good to be here. It's been a, for, because we have It's good to be here. Yeah, it's been a... Because we have had the uncles on before. That's right. Maybe recently, but not...

Thank God I'm atheist. Not for a good long while. So welcome back, gentlemen. I blame Frank. I think it's his fault. We all blame Frank. It's just a normal thing. Oh, no.

So real quick, and it's okay if you haven't, did you guys happen to see the executive order that Biden signed on guns today? The whole lot of nothing? Yeah. If you're wondering about power creep through the executive order and its intersection with the Second Amendment, I think you can breathe a sigh of relief there. Yeah. Holy shit.

can breathe the sigh of relief yeah yeah yeah holy shit that is i i was so excited when i read the headline and then when i read the article i was like okay so uh if you you can still buy a kit to make your own gun at home because america but now it has to have a serial number like there there was a moment where i was like all right so that's crazy but i guess it's not as crazy that's like limiting the number of extra voices in your head to seven yeah you're still fucking crazy i i i kept reading through all of the different things that they were doing waiting for the thing where i was like yeah yeah, finally, we're controlling guns here. And I just kept looking at it going, wait, did you do anything?

Exactly. Is there a thing in here? And he's standing up there, and wrist rockets are now illegal. Like, I don't know that anybody was asking about wrist rockets. None of us were. Yeah, so, yeah, it was very. It's now illegal to throw your gun when you run out of bullets.

I read it because I only heard about it because I saw some posts where people are like, I can't believe they're now executive orders to regulate the Second Amendment. And I was like, oh, that sounds really exciting. And I read it. I was like, whoa, man. I can still buy a flamethrower. I just want to say. In fairness, though, he did instruct the ATF

to suggest other laws to the Congress. So, boy, I mean, that's got some teeth right there. That is some intimidating shit. That one for sure. I did look it up just before I wanted to, because I wanted to bring this up. Just an interesting point for our international listeners. Here in America, in almost every state,

flamethrowers and silencers are legal. Can you put a silencer on a flamethrower? Oh, silent flamethrower. Silent but deadly. Yeah, but all it does is like, it just sort of disinfects the silencer. It doesn't actually do anything. You guys are both, are you guys both in Utah?

We are, yeah. Yeah. We're Salt Lakers, baby. Tell me a little bit about what it's like, because I can tell you what it's like from two different perspectives here in Illinois, from both a very rural perspective, because I just went to a very rural part of Illinois, and from a city perspective of Chicago, of what it's like to live in a pandemic. We asked our listeners recently what it feels like to go out with a mask on. Do they feel like they're being accosted or stared at or whatever if they go out with a mask on, if they go in a

rural area? What is Utah like with the pandemic? Is it just like nobody gives a shit or are there people masking up? No, I mean, the masks, people are mad about it. But for the most part, especially in the urban areas, people are, you know, they know that they just have to wear their masks when they go into a business. The state did just pass a law that the governor doesn't like. But he signed. But the legislature passed a law that said that this Saturday, the statewide mask mandate ends, which is premature, I would say. But, you know, the mayor of Salt Lake City then said, okay, well, it ends in the state, but not in this city.

So Salt Lake is going to continue a mask mandate. If you go into the more rural areas, they know what a mask is. They know what you're doing when you walk in with a mask. But they're laughing at you, and you can see that they're laughing at you because they're not wearing it. If they mandate them in Salt Lake City, though, that's got to cover like 90% of the population of Utah. I mean, most of Utah is empty. Yeah. Yeah. We got a lot of, there's a lot of space in between. Yeah. Right. So if you,

it's sort of like, you know, if in Illinois, if you get the Chicago metropolitan area, you're like, I kind of got this mostly sewn up. You know, it's the vast majority for sure. There's some stragglers out in the corn somewhere, but nah. We didn't get the suburbs with this. So it was just the city. And it's doubtful that she actually has the authority to do it, but nobody's fighting her yet at this point. But yeah, I'm out in the suburbs all day long for work. And it depends on which suburb.

Like if you go really into the Mormon suburbs, there's not a lot of masks going on. I mean, do you think masks are even all that necessary anymore? There were only 73,000 cases of COVID nationally yesterday. So, I mean, we've pretty much got this thing right. Yeah. It's, you know, actually, you know, Utah's doing okay with the vaccine. So, I, you know, it won't be too long before all of the people who would choose to get vaccinated will be vaccinated.

At which point, I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying really hard not to care about all of the assholes that surround me. But it's an uphill battle. Yeah, they're opening things up out here, again, because people are just done, right? You're not doing it because of public health policy, because we're clearly showing a new surge. You're doing it because people are bored

and everybody is done after a whole year of sitting inside. I know I just scrolled past my recent Facebook posts where I was like baking bread last year and shit, because it's just, you know, it's the first weekend and you're like, I'm going to make the best out of this pandemic. And then two weeks later,

you're just sitting with like an empty bag of chips and a video game in your lap. And you're just fucking whiling away the hours waiting for the pandemic. Yeah. Just making, just making some delivery driver, bring you a Slurpee. I ordered just ice cream the other day.

I think I paid like with tax and tip and delivery fees. It was probably the fucking most expensive ice cream. It's probably like $35. And it was just for me. It wasn't for the kids. It wasn't for my wife. It was just me. Did you make them rub it on their nipples when they showed up?

Like when they opened the door? I make them rub it on my nipples no matter what they bring. So why else do you have a delivery drive? You got to do the social distancing thing. You have to stand 15 feet back and throw it at my nipples no matter what they bring so why else do you have a delivery drive you got you got to do the social distancing thing you have to stand 15 feet back and throw it at your nipples another thing we definitely wanted to talk to you guys about specifically talk to you about we saw you know the insurrection happen earlier this year and we have been covering the evangelical sort of you know the evangelicals and what they've been talking about it. And initially some of the pundits, the far right pundits were against it, but now even Tucker Carlson is like, come on, what is it? It's just trespassing. Come on. So we used to break into

the, into the County pool at night. It was the same thing. They call it the people's house. Come on. It's the people's house. Yeah. So anyway, Tucker, you know, and other people are, are now starting to backtrack a little.

Um, but, but really, um, Q, we were covering a lot of Q and stuff like that. And so I was curious since you guys do have your finger up a lot of Mormons or the pulse of a lot of Mormons, what, uh,

what has, what has sort of been the Mormon take on the insurrection? I know that one of the leaders who looks like, I don't know, undead Ross Perot, he came out

and sort of shamed it very recently. Well, there's a big difference between what the leadership of the church is saying and what the on-the-ground Mormons are believing. And that, I have to tell you, is a new phenomenon.

Really? Like, when we grew up, if the old man said it, the people believed it. It was like, if it comes through that microphone, they're done. That's the answer. through that microphone, they're done. That's the answer. And now there's this new weird thing happening where, I mean, look, Trump cultism is a cult.

And we see this with the evangelicals, but man, that's their new religion, and Mormonism has become the second religion. Like, it has taken second position for a lot of these people. It used to be if, quote, the church said a thing. Mormons are top-down believers. It is a, you know, their top guy, the prophet, is just that. Like, he has direct line to God for these people. And so if, quote unquote, the church says X, then X.

That's how we grew up. Now, unless the prophet himself says it in his voice, in general conference, which is a twice a year thing that they do, people are fine with not believing it. If they don't hear it from his voice, then it's just like, Oh, that's not doctrine. That's not gospel. That's just a hint. They're just guessing. They're just, they're just providing a, it's weird, man. I have never seen anything like it. Is that, is that a break then, do you think, toward more independent thinking, or is it just the replacement

of one cult with a bigger, more beheaded cult? No, it is much more cult-y. It is more cult-y than Mormonism, which is crazy talk to me. That's so nuts, man. It'd be like if all the Moonies became whatever is other than the Moonies,

you know what I mean? Just like, it's like they just become Rajneeshies or something. It's bonkers. It is bonkers. These guys, look, it is already a high intensity cult religion. And so for them to, but like, you know, you saw, there was an article that you saw in

Raw Story about, because they just barely had their general conference just this last weekend. And all of the leaders of the church are like, hey, everybody, remember when we were a little bit reasonable? Maybe that. What if that?

Which is like the fact that they would have to say that, that they're like trying to rain, like pull the rains back on these nut balls is scary. Like they are like, literally when I, you know, I follow the Mormon, there's a newspaper in town. There's, there's one that's like the independent, like real newspaper. And then there's the one that's just like the arm of the church. It's like the news wing of the Mormon church called the Deseret news. And I can't believe what i see they found out recently that one of their leaders one of their big dog leaders not the top guy but in the top 12 uh this guy named dieter uchtdorf when they found out that he donated to biden and to warnock and Ossoff down in Georgia, they, like, literally, I think there were explosions all over Utah where people's heads popped.

Because growing up, yes, a lot of people, like most Mormons were conservative, but there was room. Everybody understood that there was room for liberally minded Mormons. You think that? Not everybody understands that anymore. No, liberally minded Mormons. You think that? Not everybody understands that anymore. No, I want to back up.

That was not my experience. Oh, really? Oh, that's right. Because I grew up outside of Utah. And also, Dan grew up in kind of a liberal part of corner of Mormonism in Salt Lake City, right? That's true. And so, like, there was no space in my church experience. In fact, Democrats were outwardly just mocked.

I think that now there's actually kind of like this weird liberal Mormon thing that's happening. And then you have this talk that we've been, what was it, Oaks got up and did at general conference that we're referencing, where he won't take a position, right? He won't take a political position. It's only this like backtrack thing that Dan's talking about. He's only trying to pull it back to some reasonable space, but he's unwilling to define what that space is. They refuse to be the church as an entity won't project any political stance.

They'll pick issues. They're decidedly anti-gay marriage. But as far as who you should vote for, I think they're making a stronger push now for from the leadership. You know? At least in that talk. That talk was clear. It was, you can,

you make up your mind and if you need to change political affiliation, do it. Right. I thought that was a powerful statement from, from Oaks actually. Yeah. For Mormons at least. Now, are you a hundred percent sure it was from Oaks and not James Carville because they look exactly alike. It's either that or the old man puppet that Jeff Dunham does. He looks like the old boxing referee. Do you remember that guy who used to, Tyson's boxing referee. He was a judge for a while on TV. He was a TV judge for a bit. I know exactly who you're talking about. We're going to get a message. Somebody's going to say, oh yeah, I know that guy.

He's my uncle or whatever. So we're going to- Every single one of them to a man, all of the sort of the 12 apostles, I like to call them the top 12. They all basically look like somebody just rubbed as much moisturizer as they could on the cryptkeeper. Can I ask though, do you think that the, you know, you're saying that the, that the boots on the ground Mormon, the one who's, the one who's, who is sort of looking at the cult of Trumpism

and saying, that's kind of where I want to be instead of the Mormon church. saying that's kind of where I want to be instead of the Mormon church. That feels to you like more of a common stance. Is this a bad look for this guy to say these things out loud? No, no. If you go to a Mormon church and you say, I'm really glad about what Biden's doing, people will be shocked. Like it is commonly understood that like like among most mormons trumpism is the it is their new religion like they they don't think of it as an either or

thing they still think of themselves as mormons but if you but if push comes to shove between mormonism and trumpism if at conference, somebody got up and said, by the way, Trump was bad. I don't know where people would land on that. I mean, hold on, though. The one Mormon I know is Mitt Romney. Okay. That's the one Mormon I know. And that dude two times voted to impeach the president.

He gave an impassioned speech the day after the insurrection. And he had said it was basically Trump's fault. It was a wonderful speech. You know, it wasn't, it was, it was even better than, than Mitch McConnell's,

which kind of put the blame on the Democrats. He was specifically throwing the blame right on Trump's lap. And two times he's done that. I've seen him accosted in videos and TikToks where people come up to him and accost him. Is he, I mean, he's like, is he, I don't understand what the, what's the balance there? Does he hate him there now?

Try to imagine. So Mitt Romney, 12 years ago or whenever it was, was going to be the candidate. He was the candidate. He was the candidate. He lost, yeah. He was the Republican candidate for president, and he was the great white knight of Mormonism.

Yeah, because he was going to fulfill the prophecy or whatever, right? He was going to fulfill the white horse prophecy. He was going to, yeah, he's going to save the Republic. Well, you've got to describe the white horse prophecy for anybody that might not know. He was going to do a rail of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's the white horse prophecy. That's the white horse prophecy. That's right.

No, it's horse, so it's heroin. Anyway, the thought that that man could ever be anything but a demigod to Mormons. If you had told me that he could do anything to sour Mormons on him eight years ago, I would not have believed you. They hate him now. A fucking fuck ton of them are livid with him. Wow. Because he actually took a principled stand.

And the only point is you're not allowed to take a principled stand when you're principled against their actual God who is that bloated cheeto or just conservative politics in general like they'll be happy to transfer their trump love to mitch or to whomever it's just now they're now their religion is hating the dems it It's pwning the libs. Wow. So what explains that shift, though?

I mean, it's one thing to have political affiliation, but this attachment, this belovedness of a specific candidate, is it candidate over party? Because you have the same party. Romney's still very much a Republican. They're calling him a rhino. They're calling him a Republican in name only. They don't believe he's a Republican. But that's because he's not Trump. So is it, right? Because he's Republican in all policy stances. I think just like with the rest of the country, Trump is just a symptom. Trump was the logical conclusion

of the crazy directions that that party has gone in the last 20 years. So I don't think it's about Trump himself. Trump was just, they, you know, there was a guy that was willing to say nasty things about people and they loved that. They ate that up, but it's not about him i look i don't have any explanations i just like with the uh evangelicals i cannot explain the hateful awful things that are going on in our country and mormonism is just sort of a one offshoot of that it's other than like you know the pendulum i guess every hundred years or so has to swing towards Nazism before we all just remember. Oh, yeah. We didn't like that.

And we swing back maybe. I did. But yeah, I don't know how to explain it. Frank, do you have any explanation? For Mormons? Yeah. Yeah, specifically. Yeah, you grew up with like rural Oklahoma Mormons.

I don't know, my take on Mormons, I think I'm slightly more hopeful than you are, Dan. Because like if you compare them to the evangelicals, like the evangelicals, like the clips I see of preachers up spewing politics and hate, you services, that's not happening in Mormonism. This is a sideshow in Mormonism, if you ask me. They're not getting it preached to them over the pulpit because they don't have preachers, for one. And so, I think there's still the official stance of the church. They're trying to pull people back. I don't think they'll be successful for the ones who are already lost, but I don't know that it's the problem. You know what? You might be right. The thing about Mormonism is that it is the most passive aggression you will ever encounter.

There is no aggressive aggression. Well, I mean, you know, some of them. It's like Canada's army. Yeah, exactly. You've got the Ammon Bundys of the world who are definitely aggressive, aggressive, but they're the outliers. And yeah, I think, Frank, you're right that they don't preach it over the pulpit. I think, Frank, you're right that they don't preach it over the pulpit. So it's not quite as aggressive as it is in the South or whatever with the evangelicals.

I guess I just... And here's a real world example that I can give. My mother-in-law was... We have been trying to convince her to get the vaccine this whole time. And it's not like she's a QAnon follower at all, but the shit gets filtered to her. You know what I mean? It goes through eight layers.

It starts on 8chan as just like, fuck the vaccine! And then by the time it gets to her, it's like some old lady doctor who's like, I have good reason to believe that this is not a good thing for you or whatever. And then, you know, we're fighting all of this deep misinformation with, you know, real doctors attached to it or whatever. And it has been a battle. And, you know, she just, and the problem with Mormons is that they believe in personal revelation from God.

So with things like this, if it doesn't feel right, if they don't have sort of a glowing bosom about it, and boy, the use of the word bosom in this kind of conversation is, uh, is it's overwhelming. If they don't have a burning in their bosom about it, or if, or if they have, and this is a, this is a common phrase in Mormonism, a bad feeling about it or if or if they have and this is a this is a common phrase in mormonism a bad feeling about it a dark feeling about it oh my god then they won't do it because god hasn't god is talking to them they're listening for god so my god you spend your whole life fucking like a dowsing rod on your feelings oh my god wander between things based on how your tum-tum feels for real?

A hundred percent. It is just like that. And interestingly, most of the time, God tells you to do the thing that you really wanted to do in the first place. Right. I was just going to say like personal revelation is whimsy. Yeah. It's like, how is it different than whimsy and like irrational fears of things? Because you pray about it first and then you get your whimsy.

Good Lord. But after this general conference, I think somebody during general conference said something in one of the boring talks, which by the way, if you ever, I challenge you to go and watch one of the talks of Mormon general conference. I don't think you'll make it more than a minute. But if you have a lot of stamina, you might get in three minutes. I've never been accused of that either. So, yeah. But yeah. So, my Mormon mother-in-law has now texted my wife and was like,

okay, I think I feel good about it now. I think I'm going to get it. And we were like, holy shit, make her an appointment right now. We've got to lock her into this thing. But she, but you know, the Lord confirmed it to her. So that's good. So how do the Mormons feel generally about science? Like, are they, are they pro-science in general or are they pro-science when it matches their revelation? pro-science in general or are they pro-science when it matches their revelation? They're mostly pro-science. They believe in medicine. The current prophet was a doctor in his life. That was his job. So they believe in science for the most part. I do want to ask before we jump into something else. So I want to ask about QAnon because you brought it up as sort of a sort of fringe belief. We've seen that it's

really interwoven with a lot of evangelicals and especially with a lot of people that are on some of the major pundits on some of the right wing stations and some of these new up and coming stations like Newsmax and stuff are giving a lot of QAnon ideas time on their show. QAnon Ideas time on their show. Have you seen anything that makes you think that it's interwoven with Mormonism more deeply recently? Especially the parts of QAnon that are, anything essential oil related is going to hit hard with the Mormonism.

Does QAnon have a multi-level marketing element to it? Because I feel like that's... Mormonism is awesome for that. And I feel like that's how it's making its way around. Mormonism is such a bad idea as long as you get, like, your downline signed up.

I mean, to really get... It's why there are prominent Mormon families, because they got in on the ground floor. They're at the top of the pyramid, baby. So they have so many kids who are just trying to make a human pyramid. They misunderstood how the system works.

They're just, I got 13 of them. We can make a, no, that's not how. I mean, the way that QAnon perpetuates itself is the same as like multi-level marketing so yeah

it's like it has kind of really infiltrated there's a lot of weird there's a lot of crossover between Mormon

mommy blogs and QAnon weird ass conspiracy shit it's it's weird though because most most cults are like

they're like two poles of a magnet. They won't approach each other, right? So the cults are sort of separate. But Mormonism I would think would try to repel it, but in some ways QAnon is this weird thing. It's like a virus cult.

It infiltrates all other cults and then they just take it in and they all are just like, yeah, no, QAnon's cool. Everybody seems cool with it and I'm baffled because it feels like it goes against pretty much everything they're talking about, especially when you get into the

weird shit about Hillary Clinton sucking kids' eyes out or whatever. It just feels so different than what Mormons would normally believe. I don't know. Maybe, maybe they do believe she sucks people's eyes out. Do Mormons do Satan? Is Satan like a big deal in Mormonism?

Oh. Yeah. No. The adversary. Yeah. The adversary. It's basically just, yeah, he's, he's around.

I don't know. No, he's around. Here's the trick. The trick is Mormons don't have hell, really. Mormons have just less heaven. Like if you're really bad, if you're bad, you have like

a little bit worse heaven. And if you're really shitty, you got like the worst of the heavens. So where did Lil Nas X slide to on that poll? If that's the case. Well where did Lil Nas X slide to on that pole, if that's the case? Well, there is a thing called outer darkness, which I'm pretty sure

that's where they think Lil Nas X is going. Caliente. But it's, yeah, I mean, Mormonism doesn't focus a lot on the fire and brimstone stuff. It just seems like

Satan worshiping would be difficult if you're not like that invested in the whole Satan issue. Yeah. I mean, it just strikes me as problematic. The thing about Q is that it doesn't actually like talk about beliefs, right?

Here are the things that took hold with Mormons with the Q thing. They are, they believe in sex trafficking. Like Mormons. That's because they do it. Like they're pro. They seem like pro believe in sex trafficking. Like Mormons. That's because they do it. Like they're pro. They seem like pro, pro sex trafficking. For sure. They're fine when it's like, when it's them trafficking like indigenous kids into white households.

Because that's just saving them from, you know, from the barbarian raising that they were going to get or whatever, and making them white and delights them. There was literally back in the 60s, there was a talk given by one of the Mormon leaders talking about how two Native American kids being raised in a Mormon household were becoming more white as they grew up. I'm very uncomfortable right now.

Like physically more white? Yeah, they became whiter. I'm very uncomfortable right now. Like physically more white? Yeah, they became whiter. I'm very uncomfortable. Their skin, literally, he was talking specifically about their skin. So this is a common belief. It's what happens when your founding document has a whole, like, multiple times it covers the thread of the bad guys are the dark-skinned ones who are cursed and the good guys are the light-skinned ones it it kind of permeates that way and that's because of bad ham right that's where that it can be that's one of the that's part of the thing so what what do

the mormons do about the whole blm and like george floyd Floyd situation over the summer. Like the, well, okay. So more, most of the Mormons focused heavily as, you know, as they were told to by their Fox, uh, news overlords, they focused heavily on how black lives matter is just a terrorist organization that's out there, you know, burning buildings and whatever they, They really ignore the whole part about any actual desire, any goals that Black Lives Matter might have had. So standard right-wing bullshit.

Yeah, it's the standard. But you should know that Mormonism very, very, very quietly released an essay on their website to say, by the way, we renounce all of the racism of the past. Oh. Yeah, because if you're going to

renounce racism, you want to whisper it? That's actually the best way to renounce. You don't want to piss off all of the good racists. There are good people on both sides. I don't know if you know this, but... Jesus Christ. We renounce the racism, but they can keep their statues. That's what we're... Right? No, but they can keep their statues.

That's what we're going to have the rent. No, that's not renouncing. What about like, so they, they would not be, the Mormons wouldn't be that worried about like COVID passport, mark of the beast analogies,

right? Cause the mark of the beast wouldn't be something they'd be real worked up about. So COVID passports, yay, nay for the Mormons. Uh, the, the nay would be not about anything uh you know that it's it the the nay would be about it's government overreach or something like that it would not be about uh satan or anything like that

they're yeah they're not worried about the mark of the beast at all i don't think they've read that far in the Bible yet. So, gentlemen, if people were going to find your podcast, where would they look? Oh, no, we're hiding it. Everybody knows where to find podcasts because they're listening to one. But, yeah, go to... You can find

Thank God I'm Atheist anywhere on your iTunes, your Stitchers, or whatever you got. Or you can go to our website, thankgodimatheist.com, and you can find us there. And you know, we got groups on the Facebooks and all the things, so track us down.

We're fun. We have a good time. Well, gentlemen, thank you so much for joining us. We had a great time talking to you. We hope to talk to you guys again soon. Oh, thanks for having us. Thanks so much. Welcome, everyone. Take a seat. Release into the comfort of that seat.

Allow yourself to go deeper. Begin inhaling and exhaling slowly. Slowly. Become more aware of the natural rhythms of your body. You're feeling very good. Good. You're feeling very good. You're feeling very sexy. You're feeling hot. Hot.

You're feeling glorified as you listen to my voice you start to focus your attention on opening your laptop or mobile device. How would it feel to be completely satisfied? satisfied. Find yourself typing in adamandeve.com in your browser and hitting enter. Realize that by selecting almost any one item, you receive 50% off when you use code GLORY.

GLORY. Can you remember a time when you were happily receiving free gifts? What would it be like if Adam and Eve loaded on even more free stuff? Remember that good feeling. good feeling. Imagine finding a sexy item for you in your left hand. Envision a special item for them in your right hand. And materialize a third item between your legs that you'll both enjoy. The more you remember code glory, the more free stuff materializes around you. Notice you're enveloped by six free spicy movies. Become aware of the savings from free shipping.

When I say code glory, you will awaken and go to adamandeve.com and enter G-L-O-R-Y at checkout. You will also look up hashtag puppy play on TikTok. Glory. Enjoy. You found a hitman online. Yeah. And they don't write hitman, right? Because that's dumb. Enjoy. was important to me when i saw that i thought okay this is a good i still feel like we should have got a cheese plate or something for this guy just to make this 2020 hindsight so this story is is nothing to do with anything except that i found it cecil and it needs a home this is like this is like the cute puppy that like followed you and you're not really like looking for a dog right now but man you know 15 years goes by and it's your best friend. This story is from The Independent. Five hitmen jailed after each hired the other to carry out a murder that was never convicted. This is so amazing.

Intended victim agreed to fake his own death. This is so good. This should be a movie. This should be a movie. This is so good. This is so good. This is so good. I've got to read this thing.

There's nothing else for it. Six people have been jailed after they each hired another hitman to carry out a murder that was never convicted. Tianya Hury, a real estate developer, hired a hitman to kill a business rival for 220,000 pounds, a court in somewhere China said.

However, the hitman then subcontracted the work to another hitman. Whoed the work to another Hitman who passed it on to another Hitman how much was it diminishing return sheets time Tom? so it had to be that each of them was trying to pocket

half of it and not do any work is that how that worked? because that's how this podcast works so I would just it's like a Russian nesting doll of hit men. Each one of them getting successively less money. The last guy's like,

all right, I'll give you a 75 cents and a gum wrapper. It's literally, it's literally like Amway of assassination. It is so good. You get them in the room and you, you psych them up. You do one of those talks where you say

you are going to sell so many hits today so many they're like getting ready for the hit and they're like cleaning their gun I will kill this man today I will kill this man today oh man it's so good

over the hitman so they subcontracted out like they're fucking like swallowing flies and catching spiders like they have a whole i have a whole chain so they engage another one but instead of carrying out the hit the final hitman met the ultimate intended victim known by his last name of way and then offered that guy to help him fake his death. That's so amazing. The guy thought it was worthwhile to fake his own death. Well, admittedly, he had four other people search. Well, not really searching for him,

but still, you know what I mean? Right. This is a guy who's like, I'm just like, yeah, that's actually the better option. I gotta ask though, did the guy at the bottom know about the other four larger fish above him, or did he just know about the one?

Because in his eyes, he thinks, well, there's only one jackass searching for him, not four. He doesn't know. This reminds me of that NPR story where a guy outsourced his life to India. You're a hit man. You're like,

I'm going to have my executive assistant do it. That's it. I need you to have my executive assistant do it. That's it. I'm not. I need you to pick up my dry cleaning and I'm going to need you to kill my business rival. That would be awesome. You could just do that. It's essentially what a building contractor does, right?

Like what they do. General contractor doesn't actually swing a hammer. He just hires a bunch of dudes to do it for him. Every single one of these guys. The problem was he kept on hiring general contractors all the way down. It's general contractors the whole way down, right? This is a classic too

many chiefs problem, you know? This is such a great story. Oh, man. And they all got caught too i love that they all what happened to the guy who faked his own death did he get what is he in trouble or no i don't know if that guy got in trouble it says all six men were convicted so i think they're just like you know what this is ridiculous all you fuckers go to prison that's's amazing. That's the best. Dear tiny Jesus, in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny little fat balled up fist pawing. He was a man. He had a beard. Look, I like the baby version the best. Do you hear me? I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt because it

says like, I want to be formal, but I'm here to party too. Because like to party so I like my Jesus to party. So this story comes from Fox News with all the attendant outrage. Biden White House Easter remarks included zero mentions of Jesus. Oh no. Oh no. President Biden, a Roman Catholic, did not mention Jesus Christ or Christ

a single time in his Easter remarks on Sunday. I don't know, maybe because he recognizes we have a secular fucking government. Even recognizing Easter. Isn't that enough for you people? Isn't Easter like a fucking pagan ceremony you stole anyway?

Like, what the fuck? They didn't mention Ishtar or whatever the fuck, the god of Easter. Fucking didn't mean it. If he doesn't, again, it's the same thing as the hitmen. It's like Jesus subcontracted Easter down from Ishtar or whatever the fuck.

They're just subcontracting it all the way down. Easter. Cause rabbits fuck good. What? Wait, what? Why are we doing that with Jesus again? I don't know. It's spring.

We didn't know what else to do. I never got the whole Easter thing. And it's such a weird thing because it's a fucking lunar holiday. It's not, it floats every year because of the fucking moon. I mean, it's a fucking lunar holiday, man. You're fucking basing anything off the fucking where the moon is. You need to reevaluate your life, man. Nothing I do fucking is, it has anything to do with the moon ever.

I never once in my life put a thing in my calendar. Not one thing in my calendar that had anything to do with the moon. Not one time. I mean, seriously. Yeah, I mean, ask any regular person, hey, man, when's Christmas? Oh, that's a date? Ask any regular person, like even like some shit like Father's Day.

Oh, well, that's the fucking whatever sunday or thanksgiving which shifts itself on days but you know what day ask anybody when easter is 2024 the only one who would answer that the only person who might know that answer would be noah and he only knows it to be annoying neil degrasse tyson knows because he knows where the moon is every day like all the rest of the people are just like, I don't fucking know. Why would I know where the fucking moon is? And then it's a weird holiday too because it's got those 40 days before where you have that fat Tuesday.

Your sadness days, your deprivation days. Yeah, you have the fat Tuesday, and then you have the I have shit on my forehead day, and then the rest of those days that lead up to it, which are deprivation days. And then finally you have Easter and there's good Friday in there and you're not supposed to eat meat on Friday. There's all these fucking weird rules that are so strange.

And even as a kid, I remember being a Catholic and asking my mom, I don't get it. Like, I just don't get it. And they would say, well, Jesus died and then he rose again. I'm like, shouldn't it be sad? Shouldn't we be sad? I don't understand it. Like, I just don't get it. And they would say, well, Jesus died and then he rose again. I'm like, shouldn't it be sad? Shouldn't we be sad?

I don't understand why we're happy. Why are you giving me a chocolate bunny? At the very least, Good Friday is rather poorly named. Right? Good Friday? What happened Good Friday? Oh, we killed Jesus. Yeah.

Well, maybe you guys need a new adjective in front of that one maybe you kind of right fuck that up a little bit yeah but biden not mentioning it this whole article tom just going on and on about well he didn't mention jesus jesus is the reason for the season he didn't mention jesus and you're just like who fucking cares why on earth would you care he brings up he brings up points that people should care about not fucking some dude who died 2 000 years ago well but he also he does a first of all any celebration or mentioning of easter is specifically a christian mention exactly and then he does talk about, he says, Easter is a day of joy when we celebrate resurrection. What are you talking about?

That's Jesus. Who else would be resurrected? If anybody else gets resurrected, that's a bad thing. That's Pet Sematary. That's no good. That's the new Jesus. You have to give him the crown. He's like a homecoming queen now.

What? He didn't mention Jesus. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He did celebrate your fucking weird ultra-Christian holiday. He just didn't do it like the Fox News way. And I'm certain, Cecil, that if Trump had like fucking said the exact same remarks, they'd be like, yeah, we love him.

And then they would go out of their way to say how secular he is. Yeah, right. Because if he said the same thing, they'd be like, yeah, we love him. And then they would go out of their way to say how secular he is. Because if he said the same thing, they'd be like, see, all you people who think he's all about Jesus, look at what he did. He went out there and did this thing, and they would 100% It doesn't matter, because no matter what he says, it doesn't matter. It does not matter. No. I wish Biden would just skip

the fucking holiday fucking completely. I know he's religious, right? He's a religious guy. So he's going to. But but I wish there was somebody in there who would just not even acknowledge it, who would just they would go through the day and be like, we have any thoughts. I don't have any Easter thoughts. I have regular day thoughts because I'm the president of the United States. Now, the liberal media won't tell you this, but a normal iced coffee and a mocha frappuccino tastes quite different.

I suspect there was some foul play given the fact that I'm a supporter of President Trump. And I'm sad to see that Starbucks has been converted to a liberal media prop. So this story comes from Business Insider. Tucker Carlson defended a man accused of storming the castle. No, wait. Storming the capital. That's better. With zip tie handcuffs asking for perspective in how he's treated.

Let me actually read exactly what he said so that we don't misquote. He said, neither Lisa Eisenhardt or her son damaged any property in the Capitol or committed any violence. They just walked into what we used to refer to as the people's house. And yet somehow Joe Biden's Justice Department convinced a federal judge that Lisa Eisenhardt was, quote, a threat to our republic. And her son was a, quote, would-be martyr. Keep in mind, these are people whose crime was trespassing in the Capitol. We're not endorsing that, but some perspective, please. If somebody went to my house and then they grabbed a flagpole and busted my

fucking door down and then grabbed my son and beat the shit out of him when he was trying to like stop them from coming into my house and then they stormed it and they had you know like a fucking gallows in my front yard and they were like hang hang Tom, hang Tom. And then I was like, that's pretty much just trespassing. If someone did that in your house, that's a home invasion. Right. How in the fuck is this? Oh, they're just trespassing. These, you didn't, if somebody broke the, Cecil, if I break a door down and then you run into the door, but you didn't actually kick the door down. Did you not break any property? So you're just dressed.

Get the fuck out of here with that. Well, it only counts if you are one of the people who actively punched a cop, not one of the people who was literally right behind pressing in the mob with the other people punching cops. I know it's par for the course, but genuinely, have you ever seen anybody fucking backstep from responsibility

as much as the people who fucking stormed the Capitol that day? I know that it's par for the course with Republicans. These guys always want to blame everybody else for everything, right? They know that nobody on that fucking side, it's so rare you see one of them

stand up and say, no, we fucked up. It's so rare, right? It's such a rare thing. We mentioned it earlier. We were talking, maybe Mitt Romney was one of those people, even though he's pointing at somebody else still, but it's somebody on his side, but still, he's still pointing at, you know, he's still kind of pointing near him and the guy next to him, you know? But man, the people initially the day of there was sort of that rejoicing that was going on and then within hours there was this

lie that came out that said oh it's QAnon oh no it's Antifa that broke in and did everything it was in us and then now that all these people are being arrested and they're clearly not fucking Antifa these are people are fucking these and they're clearly not fucking Antifa.

These are people are fucking just, these are just normal fucking QAnon followers and hardcore Republicans that marched on the Capitol. Now they're starting to say, well, come on, is it that big a deal? Is it that big a deal? Yeah, it wasn't that bad. They keep on sidestepping. They keep changing it to, well, all right.

Yay. No, wait, that wasn't us. That was us, but it wasn't bad. No bad no it was horrible what are you fucking kidding me right watch that fucking footage man this guy had fucking zip tie handcuffs what are you gonna do with her like just they weren't for show the guy was wearing a fucking bulletproof vest he was gonna fix a leaky dyson with him you know what i mean like he was gonna he going to fucking handcuff somebody. And they had every intent to kidnap and hurt people. They said as much in previous,

in previous communications during that day, when they were shouting things out, they had, they, they, they at least said out loud that they intended to harm people. These aren't, these aren't just,

these people weren't, they weren't lost on a tour, man. Yeah, trespassing is like, oh man, the building's closed, but we're going in anyway. Or, you know, no one, no one passed this line. I'm going to go in it anyway. You know, like that's trespassing. Trespassing is not, look, a violent mob. Well, let me throw on my fucking bulletproof vest

and grab these zip tie handcuffs and gather together with this violent mob. Cecil, if you were in a situation, you saw a mob, let's say you were part of an organization or a protest, and then the protest turned rabidly violent. And that was something you didn't support because you weren't a, you would leave. By staying with that mob, you are part of the mob now. That's just it. You don't have to go,

you don't have to run in there with them when you watch people like grab the fences and beat the cops back with the fucking fence. Get the fuck out of here. They're pretending it didn't happen. You weren't an innocent bystander. Right. Yeah, you weren't. But then when you hear the way they're talking about it too, Tom, when you hear them talk about

it, especially when they're being accused and then they're putting up their sort of, I shouldn't be charged or you should let me out on bail. And all of them are, are basically saying I was, it's the president's fault. He tuned me up. He's the one who tuned me up. And while I don't disagree that he should face something for it, you should also be responsible for your own actions. Because it's not like there should be somebody out there who can somehow fucking mind control me to fucking smash

a door. Yeah, I think the just following orders defense has been, you know, it would kind of kick that one to the curb when the offenses are big enough. Until one Republican decided enough was enough. A patriot who put country over party. Who finally stood up for his nation's founding values.

A man by the name of... TBD. Aren't you scared? Brave response, TBD. Wow, what a brave response. This story's from the New York Times. GOP group warns of defector list if donors uncheck recurring box. The National Republican Congressional Committee says to donors who opt out of recurring monthly donations, we will have to tell Trump you're a defector. So here's what it says in the thing.

We need to know if we haven't lost you to the radical left. If you uncheck, I'm yelling where they randomly capitalize. Yeah, they put capitalizations. Like, I don't know, like it's a tweet. If you uncheck this box, we will have to tell Trump you're a defector and sided with the Dems. Check this box. We will have to tell Trump you're a defector and sided with the Dems. Check this box and we can win back the House to get Trump to run in 2024.

Make this a monthly recurring donation. And this is a page. Who is running this? Is this Trump's thing or National Republican Congressional Committee? Wow. And this actually dovetails nicely, nicely too with the story that Trump, throughout his campaign, he raised a bunch of fucking money from people. And then he later had to give a bunch of that money back because the way that he raised that money was illegal or unethical. So he basically borrowed a whole bunch of money from people. And then after the

election was lost, he raised a different set of money from his stop the steal donations to pay back the money. The guy is a fucking walking Ponzi scheme. He's bilking the American people. All he cares about is the fucking donations. That's all these fucking people care about. And I know, again, this is just kind of bouncing around a little bit, but if you don't think this is all they care about, look at just what happened this week with Mitch McConnell. Mitch McConnell this week was upset because in Georgia, a handful of major corporations, which are huge employers in Georgia, came out and vociferously spoke out against the voter suppression laws.

Yeah. And Mitch McConnell came out and he said, you know, these corporations have no place in choosing sides in politics. And then like the same day, later that day, he's like, well, I kind of didn't mean that. And the reason he didn't mean that is because he wants their political donations, right? Yeah. Corporations always have a side and always have a voice in politics. That's what Citizens United literally means. Citizens United was a Supreme Court ruling that said that corporations have a first amendment right. They have a right to speech and that money is that speech. They don't like it when it shifts, when the tide shifts,

right? But they want the money and they're backed into this weird corner now. But it's always about the money, Cecil. It's never about anything but the fucking money. It's not about an ideology. It's not about a vision for America. It's not about anything but fucking money in these old fuckers pockets. They don't care about abortion. They just want money. No, no, they want to, they want to make sure that you donate because it's the reason, the only reason they care about abortion is because they can exploit an unborn child as a, as an image in your brain. That's the only reason they care about it. They have a, they have a, a, a very easy way to exploit your emotions. That's the only reason they care about it. They have a very easy way to exploit your emotions. And that's literally the only reason they care about it. It's the same reason

that they care about guns because fear and the taking of innocent lives in their sense, that idea of the innocent life, those two things will motivate so many people. And that's why they use those two wedge issues all the time, because they can easily twist both of them. Second Amendment has nothing to do with fear, but they could certainly play it up. And the same thing goes when it comes to abortion. The killing of innocent life is that they can easily flip it to make it sound like that. And it will convince so many people. There was a person, I saw a news story, and it might even be in here somewhere, where some poor guy donated to Trump's campaign. And then they kept, for months, they kept bouncing at it. They kept on taking money

out of his account. He said, I only wanted to give him X amount of dollars. I didn't want to give him X amount of dollars in perpetuity monthly. I wasn't planning on that. And the same thing, actually, to be honest, the same thing happened to me this last year. I didn't read closely enough. And there was one of these monthly boxes in there. And I paid what I thought was a one-time donation to something, right? I saw something and there was a person running for office. And I said, you know what? I'm going to give a one-time donation of X amount of dollars. And I gave a one-time donation. And then I got a message that said, confirming that I was going to be doing that on a monthly basis. And I sent a message back to the company that was collecting those donations. I said, that's super shady that you have that box checked like that. And I said,

I don't want my box checked. And they actually returned my entire donation. And I did not donate again. They took it. They gave it all back. And I said, cool, I'm keeping that. You don't get that anymore. I will donate it another way. I'm not going to donate it through this one corporation that collects money for politicians because it's shady. It's super shady. Who the fuck? Look, man, fucking an election happens in a certain amount of time. I'm not not gonna in perpetuity give you money every month you're not fucking netflix what the fuck do you think you are yeah right i do i get streaming content from you what the fuck are you kidding do you have do you have an original host of shows that i can yeah fuck out of here yeah one guy one time one election go fuck yourself

this box plays exactly on that cult of personality, right? Like this box, the language is so incendiary. We will tell Trump. Yeah. We are going to tell the guy that you fucking idiots revere. Like Trump is like, who's on the defector list? I want to know. Oh, Jim.

Not Jim. He calls a herald into his court to read the roll. You know, he's going to read it off. Here today, good Sir Trump, all the defectors. Bill Jones. May his name never reign in this kingdom. Seriously? This is the saddest fucking naughty and nice list.

Like, this is the most depressing Santa Claus. Trump's Santa Claus. It's so pathetic, dude. It's so pathetic. Oh, did we check that twice? Are we really sure? I genuinely am just blown away by how pathetic it is.

But, you know, it's trashy and it's bilking someone out of money and it's tricking people and it's everything you expect from Trump. So, we want to thank our patrons. Of. So we want to thank our patrons.

Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank our newest patrons. Cecil said Tom would officiate my wedding, I'm pretty sure. Why aren't we calling January 6th insurrection an act of treason? I don't know why. That's a very good question.

Kevin, the sexy, secular officiant, Andy, and Jennifer, and the people up there, Pledges, Dave, thank you so much for your generous donations. We really do truly appreciate it. I just want to ask people, if you like the show, if you're a fan of the show, if you've been listening to the show for a while

or just started out, and you enjoy the show and you enjoy this content, understand that we put a lot of time and effort into making this content every week. And we've been very, we were very consistent with it. We don't, we make sure we don't miss a week. We, we, we, we, we, a lot, a lot of time in our lives to prep and to create this content and then to post this content. So if that's worth anything to you, we'd really very much appreciate it. If you became a patron,

becoming a patron is super easy you can go to dissonancepod.com or you can go to patreon.com slash dissonancepod and you can become a patron on a per episode basis we really do love our patrons because our patrons make sure this show happens they essentially pay us for the hard work that we put into the show

and it is a lot of hard work so we just want to ask you if you're a listener and you like the show please join us on Patreon we also give you a lot of extra stuff too on Patreon. We take the audio from the live streams every week and you get that directly on your podcast player so you don't have to go to those places. You can, of course, go and watch, but you get it as an extra. And then Ian's got you to get a commercial-free version of

the show as well as Ian then posts his commercial. If you want to listen to it, you can listen to it. So you get a lot of extras as a patron and it's our hope in the future to start adding a few more of those as time goes on. We do want to mention before we get into the email though that we just were on the Thinking Atheist podcast. So if you check out the Thinking Atheist podcast, you can find us.

Seth covered a large range of topics with us and we of course love Seth. We've had Seth in studio once and we've been of topics with us. And we, of course, love Seth. We've had Seth in studio once and we've been to conferences with him. He's a wonderful guy. And we've gotten a chance to talk to him many times. We really do enjoy talking to Seth and you can check that show out.

It's on the Thinking Atheist YouTube page as well as on Thinking Atheist podcast. Great guy. Always a good conversation with Seth. Got a message. This one is from Kyle. And Kyle says, hey, Camp Quest is starting up soon.

It is going to be the camp. They're going to try to do some COVID procedures to keep campers safe. Camp is going to be, this is Camp Quest in Texas. The camp is going to be on June 13th to 19th at YMCA Camp Ray Bean at Possum Kingdom Lake. Oh my God. That is the most fucking hick ass sentence you've ever read in your life. I feel like I almost have to have underneath that a banjo and a jug when I say that out loud. Holy shit,

that is a Texas sentence. But registration right now is open for campers eight to 17, and more information can be found at campquesttexas.org. That's all one word. We're going to post a link on this week's show notes if Ian remembers, but you can sign up for Camp Quest. And Tom and I, one of the things that we encourage parents to do is to teach their kids about, this is a good way to get your kids socialized with other kids that are non-believers. And this is a great way to do it. You know, there's a lot of really exciting and slick and well-run camps for the religious. And Camp Quest is one of the few options that the secular community has to send their kids to camp

that does not have any religious proselytizing that is part of that. So they're a great organization. If you want to send your kids to camp, there's CampQuest scattered all around the country. CampQuest Texas specifically is looking now to fill up their roster. We got a message from Neve and Neve sent in an image and we're going to post it on this week's show notes. It's in honor of Easter. And it looks delicious, Nev. Delicious. It's dead guy on a stick. I love it.

Very good. I want to mention that last week, our episode on YouTube got taken down. Yeah, weird. And it got taken down because we used the words child trafficking. And so we used it in the title. And that was the only reason.

It was not taken down for any other reason as near as I can tell. They told us that they took it down for cyberbullying, but then they wouldn't. When I told them we were against the idea and we think it's absurd that people are trafficking kids through the Suez Canal, it didn't matter. They still took it down.

So they took down the episode for that reason. I think they would not clarify, but they did say that they stood by their decision. So that episode is not available on YouTube. You can find it on other places, but it is not available there. I don't know what the deal is. We didn't do anything different last episode than we do any of the other 570 plus episodes that we put out there. But clearly that one ticked somebody off and they wound up taking it down.

clearly that one ticked somebody off and they wound up taking it down. I can't believe we couldn't get that resolved through the robust and imminently fair arbitration process that YouTube has in place. No? No? Nothing like that, Cecil? I love that Steven Crowder can hold his fingers up to his eyes

and make Asian racial slurs, or he can do a terrible black voice, make jokes about cognac. And we can't do, but we can't even just put out a show that we normally put out. They leave him up there. That's fine.

That's awesome. It's cool to be a racist. It's a great world. That's awesome. Yep. Yeah. Glad that that happens all the time. We got an image.

This is from Martin and he sent in an image of Beavis and Matt Gatz and they look exactly alike. Perfect. Beavis and Matt Gatz. This is definitely Martin and he sent in an image of Beavis and Matt Gatz and they look exactly alike. Perfect. Beavis and Matt Gatz. This is definitely Beavis. 100% Beavis.

Beavis here. Absolutely Beavis. Certainly not the other guy. So yeah, there we go. We'll put a link on this week's show notes. We'll actually put the picture on this week's show notes. Thanks for sending it, Martin. We got from Take an EV.

They said, this is, we get this on occasion. We're going to post that this week. Show notes. It's a glory hole recreation area. One quarter mile. That's a long quarter mile to wait. It really is. Cause you know, you're, you know, you got to tap your foot when you got to go to the

bathroom. I wonder what you're tapping when you're waiting to go to the glory hole. You know, it's always recreating at the glory wall. Like, yeah. Bunch of people want Tom to officiate their wedding. You guys all have to fight in the Thunderdome to figure this out. So we're going to have you guys figure it out. We're going to put a patron level.

That's just, there's going to be an obscene patron level on it. We should put one up there Cecil and I'll officiate like three weddings a year. U S contiguous or something, you know, got a message from Christopher and Christopher says, Hey,

Robinson is Michelle's maiden name. We mentioned it last week. We were talking about the different code names. And I said, I'm not sure who this person is. Evidently it was a Barack Obama's mother-in-law who was also had a code name by the Secret Service. Sarah sent in a message and said,

you can become a humanist celebrant. And they said that AmericanHumanist.org has a way to become a celebrant. So if anybody was listening and was interested in maybe becoming a celebrant, a secular celebrant, you can go check it out, AmericanHumanist.org. A couple people wanted to send in messages and maybe I wasn't as clear about my union's comment last time, civil union's comment. I don't want to see any more marriages. So I don't want to see a

marriage. I want to actually make it so a marriage is not a legal thing anymore. The word marriage doesn't mean anything legally. Everybody that had a marriage before now is converted to a union and everybody in the future, no matter what, gets a union. And so we basically remove the idea and the concept of marriage from the government. Everybody gets a union. They're all 100% equal. And then if a, if a, if a, if a person wants to go to their place to do a marriage afterwards, they could certainly do that, but it doesn't do anything for you. You have to go to their place to do a marriage afterwards, they could certainly do that, but it doesn't do anything for you. You have to go to the government to get a union.

And then if you want to go do extra stuff with your religion or whatever, go do it. Or if you want to go have like, Tom had an atheist wedding a couple of years ago and it was great. And it was a person who didn't read anything from the Bible and people gave their vows and it was very nice, but it was not religious. And you could go do that too, but it doesn't mean anything.

It's not governmental. And that's what I was talking about. Got a message from an Icelandic volcano. I crushed it. I totally- Nailed that. I crushed it. How did you practice? Were you practicing? That's where Noah crushes it. He's so good at it. He's so good at it. Maybe. How would we know if he made that up? How would we know if it wasn't different every time? I've been to Iceland. I know he's right. Oh, okay. Yeah. I remember writing, this person says, I remember writing a paper about suicides for one of my college classes. I used this paper that talks about how British people in the 60s and

70s would use gas ovens to commit suicide for some reason. There was carbon monoxide in the gas. Gas companies just took that out. And to quote the paper, in 1963, domestic gas accounted for more than 40% of all suicide deaths. By 1975, bi-domestic gas was all but eliminated.

So suicide by domestic gas was gone at that point. And he says, the method used in suicide attempts matter. And so it's absolutely true. It's a hundred percent true. Yep. And so, and that, and the messages that we got really show that. Yeah. Barriers make a huge difference. Yeah. They make a huge, huge difference. Got a message from Diego and Diego says in Chile, you turn 18, you can vote. So basically you're registered day one. Then that does not happen here. And they also vote on a weekend day and they close all commerce. So it's like a holiday. Yeah. This is an interesting message from John. He says, why should a marriage require an officiant at all? Officiants are religious leaders. When I got

married, we used a Pennsylvania license that only required our signatures and two witnesses. So yeah, I think that's what happens in most places. You're right. I think, you know, you shouldn't, you don't, you don't have to. And that's what I'm saying. You shouldn't have to at all. I think that they should just, you should just all, everybody should just have to go. Cause when you go to, at least when I got married, I had to go actually get the fucking certificate first. And then the guy signed it when they, like the priest signed it later.

So I just say like, just take the middleman out of the process. You're married when you leave the office and then you go do what you want afterwards. You want to go have a party?

Have a party. You want to go to a church and do a church thing? Go do a church thing. Yeah, just get, I mean, the point of that is well taken.

Treat it like any other contract. If you need a notary and witnesses, have a notary and witnesses. Yeah, just do it that way. We got a message. This is well taken. Treat it like any other contract. If you need a notary and witnesses, have a notary and witnesses. Yeah, just do it that way. We got a message. This is from Seth and it's an image for Easter

that we're going to put on this week's show notes. We like it quite a bit. It's a great picture. That's a very, very great picture. So that is going to wrap it up for this week. I want to thank the Thank God I'm Atheist guys, Dan and Frank, for joining us today. We very much appreciate them coming on, hanging out with us, talking Mormon stuff, talking

Utah stuff. Great guys. Check out their podcast. Thank God I'm atheist. You can find it all over the place. We will link it in this week's show notes. That is going to wrap it up for this week. We are going to leave you like we always do with Skeptic's Creed.

Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Brain dead pan sales pitch. Late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces. Cancer cures.

Detox. Reflex. Foot massage. Death in towers. Tarot cards. Psychic healing. Crystal balls. Bigfoot.

Yeti. Aliens. Churches. Mosques and synagogues. Temples. Dragons. Giant worms. Atlantis.

Dolphins. Truthers. Birthers. Witches. Wizards. Vaccine nuts. Shaman healers. Evangelists. Cons, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides.

Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you.