Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 616: Gazpacho Police

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

And listen to Citation Needed     Show Notes

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This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago and beyond. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence. Too many topics that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. It's's political and there is no welcome at this is episode cecil 6 16 6 16 50 away i was thinking about that when i when i put the show notes together we are just about a year away you're away so we gotta play from the big 666 buddy think of something we gotta think of We got to have a fucking blowout. We got to have a fundraiser. I mean, by this time next year, my sincerest hope is that COVID is under control. People can gather together again.

We'll be celebrating the fucking greatest number of all time. The one that triggers the most Christians. How do we not have, I mean, I'm being serious though. Like, how do we not have the fucking bash

to end all bashes? I know. Right. That sounds like a great idea. We didn't have shit last year. Two years. Fucking two years. Two years.

Last thing we did was a pizza party. Citation needed. And then that same year we did, cause we did a citation needed in the, in the, in New York.

In New York. And then right after we did a citation needed in the- In New York. In New York. Yes. And then right after we did a pizza party. We- Was that in 19? I think it had to be in 19. Could it have been 18? No.

Fuck, dude. When was it? No, there's no way it was 18. It had to be 19. It had to be 19. I think it was 19. Because that's our 500th? 500.

Yeah, two years ago. We were, oh, two and change ago. Two and change ago. That makes sense. Yeah, so. Yeah, two years ago. Oh, two and change ago. Two and change ago. That makes sense. Yeah, so, yeah, 19. Yeah. Yeah, man, we got to, I mean, we have to just fucking blow it out.

Yeah. Just the biggest fucking bash we can throw. We'll have a good bash. It'll be fun. It'll be a great time. Yeah, it'll be good. You know what we should serve? You know what we should serve, Cecil?

I think I know. Gazpacho! Yeah, baby! Yeah! I love that people are making soup Nazi jokes. It's the best. It's genuinely the best. I posted on Twitter today. I posted this. I quote tweeted it and I said

all of your boula base belongs to us. This is the best. Can we play the audio? This is Marjorie Taylor green guys, Marjorie Taylor green. This is, and here I just have to be,

I know you're going to play, but I have to say, this is one of those things that is perfect because it's not like she was speaking quickly or she mumbled her words. No, no. She just says, she just says,

so here we go. Not only do we have the dc jail which is the dc gulag but now we have nancy pelosi's gazpacho police spying on members of congress spying on the legislative work that we do on our staff and spying on american citizens that want to come talk to their representatives this government has turned into something it was never meant to be, and it's time to make it end. Okay, I'm going to let it run one more time. Hold on a second. So this is on Real America. I don't know what it is,

but the best part is when she says she's like talking about gulags. I'm like goulash? Not only do we have the D.C. jail, which is the D.C. gulag, but now we have Nancy Pelosi's gazpacho police. That's 100. There's no way.

There's no way. It's 100 percent gazpacho. She thinks that the Nazis had gazpacho. Which is a it's a really nice cold soup. It's refreshing. It's a great summer soup. Delicious soup. And if Nancy Pelosi served me gazpacho, I'd probably eat it.

Holy shit. delicious soup and if nancy pelosi served me a gazpacho i'd probably eat holy shit we we should if you ever write a cookbook you've got to have a nancy pelosi inspired gazpacho yeah i i wrote a couple other puns here down let's see if we can get a couple of them here manhattan project clam chowder that's another one bloody kool ash oh that's another one. Nice. So this is a more Nazi-themed one. Zy Kronzame. Oh! Those are the ones I came up with. Okay.

So, yeah. I fucking love Marjorie Taylor Greene. Thank you. She's a treasure. She is a national treasure. So, as always, I'm going to be the guy to bring it down a little. So, how sad is it?

How sad is it, Tom, that like we could be in a fascism in a couple years and this lady could be in charge a part of it. Hey, and she's the... We were having good spot show fun. She's like the dumbest person you've ever met, right? Like she's like

somebody who you feel like you have to walk up with those defibrillators to get a thought in her head where you just walk up and be like shock her face and her eyeballs and they're spinning around that her fucking hand she spits out a bunch of quarters or whatever but that's what you got i mean she is not she is a genuinely stupid fucking person yeah and's in, she's in the house and she could easily be part of somebody else's like these kind of assignments that they give to like the people who normally come out and like, like have these,

uh, they hold court after they come out of these assignments, right? They have, they, they are part of these groups of people that are considered important congressmen and Congresswomen who get these on these assignments that are of these groups of people that are considered important congressmen and congresswomen who get on these assignments

that are of these committees. And then when they get done, they come out and they meet the reporters and they hold court for a minute. And she could easily be one of those people in a couple of years if there's a Republican leadership because she's popular, because she's willing to push even as stupid as she is.

Yes, I was having this conversation with a friend of ours, Rob, just last week. There is a stupidity contingent of the Republican Party now where it's not just like one or two people. Off the top of my head, Madison Cawthorn, genuinely stupid fucking person. Gates. Gates, genuinely stupid fucking person. Gates. Gates, genuinely stupid person. Boebert, genuinely stupid person. Marjorie Taylor Greene, astonishingly stupid person. Michelle Bachman, who laughed. Michelle Bachman, outrageously stupid human being. Sarah Palin, not a bright woman. There are many of these people that are just by, by any reasonable measure, they're just stupid fucking people.

Stupid people. And then you've also got the Craven contingent, which is like your Ted Cruz and your Lindsey Graham. And you, I mean, it is a, it is an entire party that is full of dysfunctional fucking garbage people. It's not, it's not like, you know, we've got these warring factions of big brains, you know, that are like, oh, I've got this idea about how America could be best,

and this policy is better, and that policy will yield more. And then somebody else is like, no, my vision for America will yield the greatest possible happiness. That's not the battle we're running. The battle we're running now is like, i'm dumb as a bag of hammers and somehow i'm in charge of stuff or well i'm afraid of people i'm a sycophant right and so but the thing the worst part about all this is that you would hope that the sycophants and the people who are dumb as a box of rocks and then the craven people and then the mean people, you would hope that once in a while they wouldn't all just line up like ducks in a row and agree 100% on every single thing. Right. But they do have a way to just be

unified. And I think it's easier to be unified on the left. I genuinely do. Or on the right. I think it's easier to be unified on the right. I think if you're just looking to stop everything, stopping is easy, right? Stopping is easy. Any kind of progress is the antithesis of what you want. So it's easy to be that guy to be like, I don't want anything to happen.

I want everything to stop. I want everything to stop. I want less stuff. I want less social safety nets. I want less of everything. I want you to cut back. All that stuff is pretty easy. The tough stuff is, you know, changing policies at the border and things like that. Fixing problems. Fixing problems. Fixing problems. Those are tough. Yeah. But the other stuff is easy. And so I think, and we always get into fights on the speed at which we want to see things happen. They don't, you know, and rightfully so.

Rightfully so. You know, we're in, there's a lot of people in this country in a very bad position. They're, you know, they're in very difficult, they don't have good wages, they have high rents, they have high food costs, they, you know, things continue to go up, their wages continue to stagnate, they don't have any money. There's no real future for a lot of people, even though they've gone to college, they're under crushing student loan debt. There's a million things that can hold a person down. And so they want to get out of that quickly. They want to see change quickly. Of course they do. They want to get on with their life. Because they're dying now. Because tomorrow might be too late for some people. And so I do understand it,

but I also recognize that change doesn't happen quickly in government, especially when there's somebody who has constantly got their foot on the brake. Yeah, well, I mean, the easiest thing in the world to do is to be a Republican because the easiest kind of person to be is a critic. Exactly. The easiest thing, the least useful and easiest thing to do is to offer criticism without solution. No solution.

You know, sometimes that's necessary. We do need people who are willing to stand up and say, that's wrong. I don't know what the solution is, but that's wrong. Yeah. But if that's the stopping point, then like, I mean, really like you're fucking valueless.

Right. But that is what, that is really what conservatism is all about. Conservatism is about saying, that's not the right answer. Sure. Let's go back in time. I don't have a right answer. Yeah, right.

I don't know. You know what the right answer is? The right answer is, we all live in a fictional Mayberry. Sure. They all want to live in fictional fucking Mayberry. Right now, I'm watching for Godawful Movies, and by the way, I've been on the last two Godawful Movies. I'll be on the next Godawful Movies that releases, I think, after this.

It will release after this show releases. So you can catch the previous two that I was on, Godawful Movies, Atlas Shrugged 1, 2, and 3. But their beat-off fantasy of Ayn Rand is the dumbest thing in the world. It's genuinely stupid because what it is, is I'm going to quit and take my ball and go home. That's all it is. It's like, I'm the,

the, the whole conceit of the whole movies are that there are C once the CEOs go, all the rest of the people in the world are just like, well, we don't know what to do anymore. Right. Like what the fuck does the CEO, the CEO, the CEO, they don't, they to do anymore. Right. Like, what the fuck does the COO, the CEO,

they don't, they manage some big picture projects, but there's a million people who could just literally step right up into their job. There would be another CEO the next day. It takes no, and it's not like one guy goes and then the whole thing crumbles. It's a stupid conceit to an entire, like the entire concept of the book is a stupid conceit.

They're ultimately unbelievably replaceable. Well, and it's so funny because like what that supposes is that there is a level of intellect and expertise which exists only at the top. Yeah. And then there's a vast gulf then between the intellect and expertise at the very top

and people one, two, three, four steps below. And we know that's not true. There are many good, smart, hardworking, capable people at every level of any organization. It's a fantasy. It's just a fantasy. People don't usually pay to work for somebody else. I think you'll get a lot more people if they just think it's a workout and we don't tell them that they're actually doing free labor. I mean, that's just my opinion as someone who knows a lot about marketing. This story, I remember when this started happening. This is an interesting story. This is from BuzzFeed News. Fitness turned Christianity influencer, Brittany

Dawn has been sued by the state of Texas over her fitness programs. So this influencer was selling fitness stuff, fitness advice mostly, and fitness programs. Fitness programs. Tailored fitness programs. And they were supposed to be, yeah, they were supposed to be like, hey, Tom,

tell me about you and I will create a fitness program that is for you. I'll create a diet and exercise and a whole program just for you and what they found out is that she was fucking control fucking pasting control being control v the whole fucking control c control v one of the best parts about this though too is control pasting control she one of the best parts about this is that she takes she's the one who put all the same people in the same room by like a Facebook group. Right. She didn't think they were going to compare notes.

They were all just gonna be like, this lady is amazing. Nobody was going to be like, Hey man. Uh, yeah. She told me to eat a bag of Wheaties. You know,

she said, she said, eat your peas and get it, girl. Really? I'm on the get it, girl program too. Even her like motivational fucking pablum was copy pasted. Was copy pasted, yeah.

And then she gets caught, right? So she gets caught. She's bilking people. Here's the thing. Like for Tom and I, this wouldn't even be a blip on our radar. Some scammer on there, it wouldn't matter, right?

What comes next is the important part. The next part is she gets caught. She apologizes in that bullshit way. People apologize. They're like, mistakes were made. Mistakes were made. Actually, it's kind of really your fault. Yeah.

Mistakes were, you did this intentional. What were you wearing? You were wearing fitness clothes. Right. I think this is on you. Mistakes. When I intentionally grifted, mistakes were made. Mistakes were made.

The only mistake that's made when you intentionally grift is when you got caught. That's it. Nothing else was a mistake. That's the only thing you come out with. Big, sad, crying eyes is when you get caught. How is it a mistake when you purposefully grifted people for years? That's not a mistake. Mistakes are, oh, you know what?

I turned around too quickly and I didn't notice you were behind me and I bumped into you. That's a mistake. A mistake is I didn't check my mirror and I fucking smashed my car into your garage, Cecil. That's a mistake. That's a mistake. That is a mistake. Absolutely. Yeah. So, but what you have is you have, you have like,

uh, uh, Jim Baker only cried when he got caught. He's not crying when he's not making it. Like he didn't make a mistake. Yeah. He didn't expose it. He didn't come to.

The thing is like these guys never just say, okay, I got to hold a press conference. I've been waiting heavy on my heart. You know what? No one caught me. Yeah. But I'm bad.

But I have, you know, my conscience is called to me. I'm a genuinely bad person. And I did these things and they were fucked up and I've got some

of the money left and I spent some, but I'm going to give what I have left back and then I'll work real hard to pay it back. Like I would respect that a little.

I would respect that. Sure. I'd be like, all right. Yeah, that was a mistake. You did a stupid thing. You had a crisis of

conscience. You decided that, you know, you couldn't live with yourself and you wanted to fix it. Fine. Okay. okay instead what she's doing is pivoting to selling christianity-based bullshit yeah she's just switching the grift from fitness and it's so funny because having been involved in the fitness world a little bit and like kind of knowing a little bit about it there's it's a fucking grift world the same way as christianity is a grift

world man yeah it's got this community structure. It's got a lot of stuff built into it that like has no evidence behind it. That is kind of cult of personality based. So many of those different types of systems out there, whether they be diet or exercise systems that are all cult of personality. All cult of personality, all word of mouth, no evidence based behind any of it. It's a great switch to a different because this is the thing all fucking grifts rhyme yeah they all fucking rhyme they all rhyme so to pivot from one this is no different than like being like oh i gotta run a different fucking carnival

game today yeah i can run another carnival game it's called take your money you failed the rigged game and then you know i took your money again yeah try again you'll eventually win that giant bear for your girl right no you won't no you won't ever do that some catholics around the country are claiming religious exemption to the covid vaccine because there's nothing more catholic than letting someone else die for your sins sister it comes from newsweek air force denies 3,200 religious exemption appeals for the COVID vaccine. So this is awesome news. This is great. And part of what I love about this is they basically said, oh, you've got a strongly

held conviction. Where was that conviction when you got your initial set of vaccines when you entered the military? And people are like, I just developed that strongly held religious conviction to this one specific. No. No. No.

Looks like you're getting a vaccine or you're getting kicked out of the fucking Air Force. I got to say, man, if you were having a shitty time in the Air Force, this would be how you'd do it. To get out? To get out. This is what you do.

Yeah, but you lose all your bennies. Okay. But if that's the thing, it didn't matter Yeah, but you lose all your bennies. Okay. But if that's the thing, it didn't matter to you. your bennies. But if it doesn't matter to you, right? Like you're just like,

I just got to get out of here in some way. Right. Then, then this is your out. This is your out. This is your out for sure. Right.

Yeah. Because you can't just walk away. You can't just quit. No, you could probably, I don't know how, I don't even know how you quit.

I don't think you can just quit. At least I've always heard you can't quit. I don't know. I mean, who am I? And I don't know either. Like, I know that there's multiple ways to be discharged. Like, you can be dishonorably discharged. You can be discharged, like, neutrally.

And I forgot what that's fucking called. I think that's what they're doing for these guys. I don't think you're dishonorably discharging them. I think they're discharging them. Yeah. But you lose your benefits. Yeah. There's another way.

If they walk across the carpet, they could static discharge you too. That's another way to do it. They just shake your hand. You're like, oh, okay, fine. I'm out then. Well, now that they allow women in the military, they can vaginally discharge. Oh, come on, Tom.

That's sexist. Yeah, probably. I want to read part of this because I like this piece. He says, the article says, military officials have said that religious exemptions

are rarely granted for the up to 17 other vaccines service members are required to get and therefore the COVID vaccine exemptions should be treated the same way. Yeah. And I love that. It's like,

because there are people who treat this vaccine very differently. Yes. They're willing to get the other ones, but they don't want to get this one. This one was made too quick or whatever, you know, and very often it's, it's, it's by party line, but they don't want to get this one. Well, this one is full of microchips. Yeah. Well, I mean, that does change. It's actually mostly microchips. Just shake the day. It's's why there's a chip shortage fucking plandemic guys the worst part about it too is you can't microwave yourself because you just spark the whole time it's the worst it's the worst try to go through the tsa line you're just honestly there's a guy like you're standing there buck-ass naked with your cheeks out and the fucking thing still going off

rubbing it all over your cock and you're like you know he's a metal thing in there get an MRI your body just shreds itself it's just it's like Ricochet Rabbit

in there like ping ping ping just a minute brother Ernest I've been wanting to talk to you about all the money you make on your television show well what about it you stole one of my ideas faith healers bubble gum cards yes i cleared over five million dollars on that one but stealing is a sin

and you call yourself a faith healer all i am i heal my bank account this is fucked up i just got to read the story yes it's from the daily beast uh because the end of this story is really important faith healer convinced pregnant woman that hammering a nail in her skull would result in a baby boy doctor's the worst fucking photo too because it's a it's a photo of the x-ray of the person who got fucking hammered. The pregnant

woman was so desperate not to give birth to a fourth daughter that she consulted a faith healer who said he knew just what to do. Hammer a two-inch nail into her skull. Can we stop there for a second? Yeah. What is... I'm not a dad. Right? What is with the fucking like the the reproduction of a son thing like that is it's massage it's so weird and i'm asking

the wrong guy because you had two boys but like i'm like like but seriously the the concept is just so weird to me to just be like i gotta have a got to have a son. You're like, okay, but why? Like, you're, you're still going to pass your DNA down the line. Your DNA is still going somewhere. Yeah. It's actually, it's, it's more, it's even more stupid than that because if you have like women are more biologically valuable than men are. So like you need, you need more women and less men overall to have a society function. I mean, so it's actually even more stupid, but it's all based on the patriarchy. It's like, I got to have a son because the things that are valuable that I'm going to pass down, I would only pass down to a son in a patriarchy, right?

So, and in a very strict patriarchy, you're only going to pass down your wealth to your son. You're only going to pass down your wealth to your son. You're only going to pass that. So like here in the States, I think it's probably less common. You know, it's still certainly common. People, you know, there are certainly people that have preferences when they have kids. And they're, you know, they're like, oh, I would like to have a boy. I'd like to have a girl, like for whatever reason. But in heavily misogynist cultures,

the patriarchy is like, yeah, I gotta have a son because my son is gonna be the only person that can inherit my business. My daughter can't inherit my business. Yeah, yeah. I guess maybe- Or own property.

So I'm reminded of, I don't know where I stumbled across these, but there's like these TikTok videos of women who had a baby, right? And so these TikTok videos of women, and they very often, I know you're not familiar with TikTok, Tom,

and I'm not really either, to be perfectly frank. I've only seen maybe a handful of videos. My wife shows me videos sometimes. But I understand it sometimes. But they'll sometimes point to places on the screen, and then they very often will have a meme song that they will lip sync, you know what I mean? So they'll do a lip sync thing. And so there was a song that was going around where a woman, a rapper was saying something about understanding the assignment. I understood the assignment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a common,

yeah. It's a common trope on TikTok. And so the thing that would come on would be a woman who would say, the thing would say something like, when my husband said he wanted a son, and then the woman shows the boy. Right. It's like, I understood the assignment. And the first thing that pops in my head is like, you don't decide the gender.

Right. I always reflect on the guy who's sort of asked, God, I really, I just gotta have a son. I gotta have a son. And I always see that as just like so weak.

Man. It's just, toxic masculinity is one of these things that just has this, this inherent, everything I see that it produces

feels so fucking weak. Yeah, there's no strength behind any of it. It feels so weak. Once in a while, you'll see an image of, of a guy having a tea party with his daughter. And I always think like,

that's a guy who's assured in his masculine masculinity. Right. He's sitting at a table. That's four sizes too small. He's got his, his daughter has made up his face with makeup and he's sitting there and he's, it doesn't phase him at all. Right.

But then there's the other guy who's like one screaming from that room because he wanted a boy. Right. The exact opposite. I see the exact, I think you're the one who's not, the one who's run screaming from that is the one who's not, not centered in their own,

their own skin. Yeah. Their own sense of their own self and their own. Yeah. There's nothing. I agree with you. There's nothing weaker than toxic masculinity. Every element of toxic masculinity is really a like it's an exaggeration of male insecurity.

Right. Exactly. That's every like in every circumstance that I've ever seen. It's an exaggerated sense of male insecurity. But like a lot of the language, too, that we use around like the idea of somebody getting pregnant pregnant, like you said, like I'm going to give him a son. Yeah. Like that's a fuck, there's a lot of problems with that language, right? There's a lot of, even just the language is terrible.

Or like the language, like other language you'll hear is, you know, like I had his baby. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of language. Sure. And if you think about the language, language is often, I think language is extremely telling about like what our values are. Sure. And it can, it can inform a lot of the sort of more subtle conversations about what we

believe that we aren't necessarily saying out loud. And there's a tremendous amount of the language around like pregnancy specifically that is really fucking toxic and really patriarchal yeah and displays really fucking unsettling power dynamics you know where like women are vessels for a man's absolutely yeah and that's not accurate and it's not true and it's not it's not it's not biologically true it's not in like a culture like America. It should not be socially true. It's a fucked up thing to say. But what's crazy is like when I read this story, and yeah, this story is happening in Pakistan,

but I also could see someone being very upset that they didn't produce a son here in the States. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, it happens here. Don't get me wrong. The reason why I'm telling you about these TikTok videos is because those happen in the United States. Absolutely.

Where all that misogyny that's happening around that entire thing is happening here. Yeah, and so just to be like, I understand like that language that I was citing is, that's typically Americanized language, you know? There's a tremendous amount of misogyny and patriarchal bullshit that's built into how we think about women's roles and men's roles with respect to pregnancy and reproduction. It's fucked up.

It's insane. And when you start off that way, you build a basis for relating as a family in a way that creates a power dynamic with women at the bottom. Yeah, it values the men in the family. It values the men in the family. I mean, hell, I remember growing up with the idea of the man of the family. Yeah, the man of the house. The man of the house.

It was a thing that I grew up with. As a joke when I leave the house, I always tell the cat, like my cat Rupert, I'll be like, you're the man of the house, buddy. Good for Rupert. Like, you're the man of the house. Because it's an absurd idea. So if I'm going to hand off

the fucking man of the house mantle as if that's a thing, I give it to a cat because it's silly and nobody has it and it's nonsense. So I'm going to read a little more from this because really the end of this article is something else. The pregnant woman was so desperate not to give birth to a fourth daughter that she consulted a faith healer who said he knew just what to do, hammer a two inch nail nail into her skull the woman who's not yet been identified by police showed up at the lady reading hospital in pakistan this week with extensive bleeding from her skull from the nail in it she had first told the peshawar city medical staff she had been advised to recite chants and hammer the nail into her own skull to guarantee the gender of her unborn child would be male upon further investigation.

How does that work? Like when you press something in, something pops out somehow. Oh yeah. It's like an Indian and Audi. You know what I mean? Right. That's exactly it.

It's like, it's like one of those stress balls that when you squeeze it, like the eyes pop out when you hammer a nail and the dick pops out. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, what you're, what you're really,

you're, you're just, if you blew hard in her mouth, would it work? He does like squeeze her tummy real fast and just no

that's not gonna work that turns out no that's different that solves a different problem guy walks in with an air compressor no gender at all holds her

blows up a little inflates oh you got a wacky waving inflatable arm filling tube baby she's up to 5 PSI. What's going on? Upon further investigation, doctors became convinced that it would be impossible for such a self-inflicted wound

and determined that someone else had done the hammering. So she couldn't reach back there with a hammer and effectively hammer well in your own head? So that means when I read that, I thought the same thing. And I was like, okay, so somebody not only told her to hammer a fucking nail into her skull, but they also outlined where on the skull

because she needed help. I hope they use like a laser level to like really lay out the place where you're going to put it. I know it's, I know this story is terrible

and this woman is a terrible victim of a horrible crime, but I would fucking hang a picture on that thing. You know you have to. It does bring a whole new meaning to hang your head. 100% does. 100% does. You've got a picture of a

sailboat and you're just, you know, put your coat on. Okay. This is tragic, but she's very convenient. You gotta get it. She walks outside, she's getting struck by lightning. It's the worst. There's two of them.

You like fucking tie a string and you got a clothesline. They talk and can hear each other. All right. The doctors did not go to police, but rather posted images of the unusual head injury online. What? Why? What?

What do you mean you posted it online? That's weird. Okay, so somebody comes in. The doctors went online? Somebody comes in, the doctors see it, and they see it and they say, there's no way this person could have done this to themselves. Yeah.

They had to have had somebody basically like straddle their shoulders and bang a fucking nail into their head. And then they just think, you know what? Instead of telling someone who could do something about it, why don't we just post these online? Yeah, let's make this woman's personal fucking medical issue my Instagram. That's what I'm saying. Let's make it my Instagram.

You, what? Fuck. So they're searching for help, blah, blah, blah. Peshawar police tweeted a photo of the pregnant woman's skull with the nail intact. Say they're using CCTV footage to try to retrace the woman's steps from the hospital to find the culprit. She left the facility immediately after the nail was removed. The process of identifying the victim from the CCTV footage

as well as from the computer data entry is underway. The local police captain said a special team had been assembled to bring justice. The woman, I'm going to skip down to the bottom. I hope there are a whole team of people with crowbars. Oh my God. That would be the best. They just walk up to her

with the fucking claw end of a hammer. Just pop it right out. They all have different ways to get hammer and nail out of stuff. That would be exciting. Look, if every problem is a nail. I was going to say it.

There was some faith healer who was like, man, all I have is a hammer. Every problem is a nail. I'm really bad at problems. Like this guy's just like, God,

I wish somebody had given me a different tool, my toolbox, but hammer it is. I can't believe that he would, he would somehow convince someone that this would do a thing. Like, and I, I'm not trying to blame the victim here because somebody was like,

like, this is one of those moments too where you know so much is riding on it. We're talking about earlier the, you know, that sort of, you know, patriarchy stuff is all riding on it. You know, she's delivered three girls that the guy has chosen before. Yeah.

But now she's in this position where she's backed into a corner. Yeah, well, she's in a terrible spot. The end of the article, well, two things I want to point out. She said a woman in her locality did the same, hammered a nail and gave birth to a boy even though the ultrasound had shown

her unborn child to be a girl. They tried to remove it at home but could not. Doctors removed it after surgery. She fucking hammered a nail into her skull deep enough that they're like, ah, we can't get that out. Can you imagine what that would feel like when somebody's trying to get

a fucking nail out of your skull? First off, just one, like, you ever just like accidentally bump your head and get irrationally angry? Yes, thank you. I get so mad. So mad. My brain just immediately turns my,

like, I get so mad. My brain just immediately turns my bike. I get, I can turn into like an absolute raving madman. Yep. And all I did was I, I stood up too quick and I hit my head on my own cabinet man. Cause I'm an idiot. I, the other day, like a few weeks ago, the cab, the cabinet door was open. I didn't know the cabinet door was open. I leaned down for something. I stood up and I, I nailed the top of my head with the open cabinet door. It made me so mad. I didn't know the cabinet door was open. I leaned down for something. I stood up and I nailed the top of my head with the open cabinet door. It made me so mad. I had to leave the room. I get irrationally

angry. Right, and I don't know why. I'm not mad at anyone, but I'm just fucking immediately furious. A nail in my skull? Yeah. What the fuck? I'm also a giant headache baby. Yeah. Like, if I get a headache, I'm just like, I don't want it. Yeah. The rest of my body can fucking fall apart. I get a headache, I'm just like, I don't want it. Yeah. Like I know the rest of my body can fucking fall apart. I get a headache.

I'm like, I don't like it. Yeah. A fucking hammer. Jesus Christ. That's got, it's got to be so unbelievably painful to have that happen to you.

And that shows you how much she wanted this to be true. You know, the faith healer that they're looking for does beg the question. Oh, here we go. What is MC Hammer up to these days?

Because I think like Hammer Time Faith Healers. Hammer Time Faith Healers. Come on. Stop. It writes itself. Oh my God. Oh my God. That video does not age well. That Hammer Time video.

His clothes are amazing. His clothes are so amazing. I will hand it to him, though. He looks like, he genuinely looks like a Star Trek member. He looks like a Star Trek member, and I will say, his dance looks like TikTok dances.

It very much does. It looks like it's that, here's a thing that's real clever with my feet dancing. Yeah, yeah. Where you're like, well, I kind of can't tell how you did that. Yeah.

TikTok. TikTok. The woman who had not had an ultrasound to determine the child's gender told police that her husband threatened to leave her if she had a fourth daughter so two things about that one she didn't even have the ultrasound maybe it was already a boy you could have avoided the nail the whole thing holy shit yeah. Yeah. If somebody's like Tom. Again, it tells you how desperate she is. Right. Absolutely. And then how fucking predatory someone is to try to convince her of that.

Yes, absolutely. There, there are people that are preying on this. And the, the, the thing is like a woman in Pakistan with four fucking kids who's been divorced.

Yeah. That's dire straits, man. Yeah. That's dire, dire, like, holy shit, might not survive it. Dire stra divorced? Yeah. That's dire straits, man. Yeah. That's dire, dire, like, holy shit, might not survive it. Dire straits.

So the threat of that divorce is a massive, that is an existential threat. Absolutely. A nail to the head? That's a real life solution, man. I just want to set the record straight. It is not hodl. That sounds really stupid.

It's hodl. You buy on the dip and hodl. Okay. We call traders, traders. This story is from Business Insider. Senator Tommy Tuberville. Tuberville. Tuberville. It's not Tuberville. Tuberville would be too cool. That would be a potato man. Is it really Tuberville? It's Tuberville. Wait a minute. Are you serious? Yeah. Let me just double check. I thought it was Tubertown.

I thought it was Potato Town. Tommy's Potato Town. It's spelled that way, but I think it's Tuberville. Tuberville. Oh, you're saying Tuberville. Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right.

They're saying it's Tuberville. Hold on a second. 2020 elections. Next year will be a big one for voters with several key offices appearing on Alabama ballots. That includes a U.S. Senate seat. Today, Republican candidate Tommy Tuberville submitted his paperwork to qualify for the.

See, Tuberville. OK. So that guy called him Tuberville. But but Google itself. Right. Google itself. Master Google. Master Google says Tuberville.

So which is which is it which is it is it tuberville or is it tuberville i don't know now i don't know i gotta hear him say it in any case look at this guy all right first of all first of all so much to say first of all okay so tuberville finish this finish the headline then we'll go okay i said one more quote why don't you just why don't you just do both one more about his name. Why don't you just do both? One more about his name. Sure. Who the fuck goes by Tommy? You're a grown-ass man. That's so true, man.

That's so true. My name is Tom. Thomas is my surname. Like, my full name. Right? Not my surname. Thomas is my full name. I go by Tom.

My mom called me Tommy when I was, like, six years old. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Who calls me Tommy? I was lucky I didn't have a name that ended with Y when I was growing up. Because that's a girl's name. What's that. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I was lucky. I was lucky. I didn't have a name that ended with Y when I was growing up. Because that's a girl's name.

What the fuck? Yeah. So. What fucking serious person is named Tommy? You're not a serious person named Tommy fucking Potato Town. Yeah.

It's super. You sound like a fucking cartoon. Also, by the way way this guy looks like the villain in a movie where like they're the the plot is somebody's gonna like foreclose on a pumpkin patch he does he looks like an evil bank manager he looks like an evil banker in a movie that's that's like waiting for the pumpkin patch to fail part of that is because he's got the evil gray. So when your hair goes gray only on the side patches, that means you're evil.

You look like Jonah Jameson from Spider-Man. Yes! It's like the end of the movie, he's going to be in a corn maze trying to work his way out, like the end of Shining, where he's working his ways out of the maze. Yeah.

And then he dies, and everybody's happy. Nobody out of the maze. Yeah. And then he dies. And everybody's happy. Nobody's upset. No one's upset. Nobody's upset. Let me change that. Nobody's upset. Right.

And he's dead and nobody cares. Yeah. Right? You know, that's even worse. Because when the world is indifferent at your passing, they're just like, eh. It's like, whatever. Okay. You had no effect.

There's another southerner. There's another rich white southerner that'll take your place. But Tom, Tuberville is doing what? Senator Tommy Tuberville Tuberville, who violated stock trading rules 132 times last year. Last year, one year. Says it is ridiculous to ban lawmakers from trading stocks. 132 times? I want to read what he said.

On Wednesday, he rejected the proposals to ban members of Congress from trading stocks, calling the idea ridiculous. Quote, they might as well start sending robots up here. You can't do anything. I think it would really cut back on the amount of people that would want to come up here and serve. I really do. We don't need that. It will cut down on the amount of people looking to grift.

It's 100% true. We do need that. 100% true. It says Tuberville was one of the worst violators of the Stock Act in 2021, disclosing 132 stock trades weeks or months late with transactions totaling at least $894,000. That's just his trades, dude. That's just his trades. And that's what he disclosed. Yeah. That's what he disclosed.

He disclosed 132 times. Motherfuck, Cecil. There's only about 256 working days in a year. Yeah. That means every other day, he didn't disclose on time a major stock trade to the tune of nearly a million. Of course he doesn't want this. No shit, Sherlock.

You're part of the fucking problem. I love the idea like, oh, we wouldn't get people to show up and play Congress. Fuck you, we wouldn't. Fuck you. People want that job. Yeah.

I'll tell you what, man. I think that we should, they should make it so it's not as easy to get into industry and lobbying afterwards. There should be a moratorium on lobbyists that for 20 years or something afterwards. So all these old fucks don't immediately become lobbyists right afterwards. Same thing with when it comes to like certain types of businesses that are, that you're in league with where you could just walk away and be a rich person, just walk out

and just be absolutely, like unbelievably rich because of the decisions you made while you were in office. Yeah. That is one of those. It's fucked up because you're basically

just paving your way ahead of you. Yep. And it's on our backs. It's on, it's lying to the American people. It's basically saying, look, I want this stuff to happen. Not because I care about any of my constituents. I only care about what's going to happen after I leave office. Right. Because you're exactly right. You're,

you're paving the way you're making decisions that you're, and you're having meetings and saying like, all right, well, look, here's what I'll do. But you know, in a couple of years, I'm not going to be in Congress anymore and I'm going to need some place to, you know, land. And I don't really like to come in. What I like to do is I like to golf Monday, Wednesday, Friday

and I like to take a schvitz on Tuesday, Thursday, you know? But I like a fucking paycheck every other Friday. I'll tell you what, these guys and this guy here, he's trading a hundred, he's trading nine,

almost a million dollars with the stocks in the time that he's been doing that. In a year. Almost a million dollars with the stocks in the time that he's been doing that. In a year. Almost a million dollars with the stocks. And that's just the money he's trading in and out of stocks. Yep. That's just extra money he's just gaming with right now.

That's what he brought to the roulette table. Right. Yeah. Well, that's exactly because if you're trading individual stocks like that. But if you kind of know where that roulette wheel's going to land, I know what, you know, maybe I don't know the exact number, but these committee meetings certainly tell me that I should definitely not bet on black next week. Well, it's so funny because like all of the conventional wisdom around financial analysis

says like buying and trading individual stocks is always a loser's bet. Like if you and I just try to always time and game the market and buy and trade individual stocks, we over time are not going to outperform if we just bought a high quality index fund, an S&P index fund, right? So we are unlikely to do that well. Now, if these guys are outperforming the market total with their individualized trades, either they're all fucking stable geniuses or they're gaming the system by leveraging fucking public or private information that only they know. Well, which do we think is really more accurate? Why are they so opposed to this? I'll tell you what. Can't walk into a casino and count cards.

Right. They'll chuck you right out the fucking door. The moment they find that you're winning too much at the thing, they don't need to serve you. They'll throw you right out. Why are we doing what they won't? Why are we letting them do what they won't? And there's

backing for this all. I think there's bipartisan backing for this because Mitch is now starting to think about it. This might happen. I think there's bipartisan backing. I hope they fucking pass something like this. Dude, I do too. Get rid of these people that are in there that that's all they're in there for. Because maybe, just maybe you'll find public servants that want to do the public good.

That's exactly it. Here, like the translation to what I read that he said, the translation to his quote is, why would I get into public service if there wasn't anything in it for me? Yeah, yeah. That's literally what he said the translation to his quote is why would I get into public service? If there wasn't anything in it for me. Yeah. That's literally what he said. Nobody else is going to do this job. If there's nothing in it for them, asshole,

that's not fucking civil servancy. That's not what being a public service is about. Being of service is not about how this fucking serves you. Holy shit. Again, with the quiet part out loud. I know. Rod, is the quiet part out loud. I know. Rod, is your worksheet done?

Yes. But I can't hand it in right now. Because? Donald Trump ate my homework. This story comes from USA Today. The But Hillary's emails crowd goes silent about Trump's document destruction. So

Trump fucking trashes documents man he trashes he shreds shit he did fucking burn bags and then he just took 15 boxes of documents including some shit that was classified to mar-a-lago i saw a report today from rolling stone that said that he also flushed documents down the toilet So he would tear documents up and throw them down the toilet. And they found out through independent staffers who had reached out or they had talked to

that had to unclog the toilet and found documents in the toilet. What? And that, they say in the article, and I got to agree, that really does shed a new light on that low-foil toilet thing that he was talking about before.

Right, right. He's like, you got to flush a toilet 25 times before something goes down. Yeah, you weren't trying to flush 40-page documents down a toilet. I knew that his policies were shit.

Yeah, absolutely. But my God. I mean, you can wipe your ass with them, that's for sure. But that was one of the things I learned today.

I was like, I couldn't, and again, it's reported through Rolling Stone from some old staffer. I don't know how true it is. Right. But they said they fucking essentially

had to get a coat hanger. Right. And shove it in there and pull stuff out. And there's pulped up paper in there. Here's why that's believable. Because the National Archive, which is fucking a nonpartisan organization, the fucking National Archive is like,

yeah, we've never seen a president do this before. He tore shit up all the time. He had shit burned. We have no idea what was burned. The only thing that they're supposed to burn in the incinerator are classified materials that cannot be shared and cannot be saved. That's a relatively small amount of shit. But he just routinely, and staffers were the ones that helped decide what materials got

fucking burned in these burn bags and then he took 15 boxes yeah cecil and it's it's correspondence a lot of it was correspondence that he thought was his that he that he claims he thought was his yeah including the love letters the love letters from kim jong-un jesus they're stuck together now what a fucking here's the thing even if it all was just personal correspondence that he thought was his

one what a fucking buffoon yeah what a buffoon two what a narcissist yeah right what the fuck is wrong

with you man yeah make a fucking snap a pic on your phone make a photocopy of your weird love letters

from the fucking North Korean evil dictator. One of the biggest takeaways from his entire presidency should be how detached from reality rich people are from the real world. I think that that should be the one thing that you should take away is whenever you hear some of these senators talk, you realize that some of these people, like I remember when John McCain was talking about making $50 an hour picking vegetables.

Remember when they were asking him like, what do you think like grocery shopping is like? Yeah, and he always talking about how you need an ID to get groceries. He doesn't understand. He didn't know. He's never bought his own groceries. He's never driven his own cars.

He doesn't do things like you or I do. I come home from work and I have to load the dishwasher. I have to, I have to, you know, carry laundry upstairs or I have to scoop the cat box or whatever it is I have to do. Right. I have to do these chores. He doesn't have to do anything. Right. So his life is literally pampered day and night. And since he doesn't have to do those things, he also thinks like, like the world kind of revolves around him because in his own world, it does. It very much does. He has a staff that takes care of him. He has a whole crew of people that are constantly waiting on him, hand and foot butlers and waiters. And, and he's got chefs and, and cleaners and maids

and whatever. I mean, you got, he's got a whole sle and cleaners and maids and whatever. I mean, you got, he's got a whole slew of people, chauffeurs and bodyguards and you name it. Right. People, a whole staff of people have to take care of him day and night. He's literally a modern day king. He's essentially a modern day king that walks around with a whole retinue of people who follow him around and just fan him and carrying him on a, what they call a leader. Is that what it is? Lighter? I don't know how to say it. A leader. Yeah him and carrying him on a, what I call a leader. Is that what it is? Lighter? I don't know how to say it.

A leader. Yeah. Leader. He's a, a litter. He's a two liter. Wait, now I don't know.

Is it a leader or lighter? He's a two liter for sure. But in any case, uh, we'll get a correction in any case. Uh, you know, the palaquin palaquin,

but here's the thing. Like he, you should recognize that that man doesn't know what reality is like. He doesn't know what it's like to be a regular person and not even just a regular person. Not just like, Oh, like,

Oh, he doesn't even know what it's like to be a regular rich guy. No, right. Yep. No, he has no idea. This is a man who's got,

I don't know, three, four kids. I fucking can't remember. I guarantee a man's never changed a shitty diaper. Yeah. There's no way he's changed a shitty diaper. Right. He's not, he's not done the things that you think this guy's never changed a shitty diaper. Yeah. There's no way he's changed a shitty diaper.

Right. He's not done the things. You think this guy's plunged a toilet? No. You think this guy is... That's why his staffer had to get the pulp out of him. Yeah, right. Because he doesn't know that's going to fucking... I would never...

Yeah. Cecil, if you were trying to get rid of documents, would you flush them down the toilet? I would not do that. But I think that that also shows you how detached he is from reality because it doesn't matter. To him, it doesn't matter. That's not a thing that he needs to worry about. Whether it's going to go down the toilet and be gone or it's going to get burned or it's

going to be gone, he doesn't care how it gets gone. Yeah. Well, and that's the other thing too, is that part of the reason I wouldn't do that, you know, if I was in the same position, let's say I was trying to get rid of a secret document that was going to get me in trouble. Yeah. I wouldn't flush it on the toilet because I would be afraid that it would come bubbling back up. Right. So I would find another way to destroy that document. Right. The thing is that a guy like this has never gotten in trouble before. Yeah. That's the other thing. So nobody's told him no. Right. Nobody's told him he's in trouble. Right. He'll flush it down the toilet. Yeah. And then if someone else finds it, it kind of doesn't toilet. Yeah. And then if someone else finds it,

it kind of doesn't matter. Yeah. Like the whole thing, I think is a fucking game to a guy like that. And the never being told no thing is also he was told many times not to destroy documents.

Like, right. He was told many times throughout his presidency. He just doesn't anyway. We heard that from people who were on his staff previously. He was told, please don't do this.

And they still did it because he doesn't care because he's not a person who cares about things that are outside of him. Well, the rules don't apply to him. They don't apply to him because those are unimportant rules.

The thing is that to a guy like this, I mean, he's kind of right though. The rules don't apply because rules only apply when they have consequences. Yeah, and there's no consequences to something like this.

And the article puts a good spin on this in the sense like, look, these people in the past were very upset that Hillary had deleted emails and claimed that that was government property and she shouldn't have done it. And maybe that's right and maybe that's wrong. But the fact is, is he walked away with physical documents and destroyed physical documents.

Take it from me. You'll never know where you'll end up. That's freedom. I'll raise a glass to that any day. P.S. Ted Cruz, go f*** yourself. This is some rhetoric I think we need to talk about

on a more large scale. Because this is some troubling stuff that some of these people are talking about. And it's troubling because Mitch McConnell feels like he's on our side, and that's troubling to me. Yeah, this is a weird week for this sort of stuff. This story comes from Business Insider.

I grabbed this. This story is all over the place. Ted Cruz breaks with Mitch McConnell and says it's a mistake for Republicans to call January 6th an insurrection. So what he's referring to is the Republican National Committee is seeking to censure the two Republican members of their party that are on the January 6th investigative committee.

And that would be Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger, I believe. Right? the January 6th committee is seeking to punish these people, these people being the insurrectionists, for engaging in, and this is a quote, legitimate political discourse. That guy's from Rockford.

Is he really? Kinzinger is from Rockford suburbs. Fucking shit. District covers East Rockford, most of Rockford suburbs, and a swath of ex-urban territory around Chicago. And he's from the Republican Party. Well, you know, he has said some things like,

you know, he's not a guy I agree with, but at least he's one of those guys who has not lost his grip on fucking reality. He was one of the few people who immediately denounced everything that was happening. He denounced it and has not moved from that denouncement. A lot of guys denounced it and moved from it right away. You know, Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell, they denounced it and they came back. And now all of a sudden,

so the Republican National Committee is trying to censure Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger and saying like, look, you know, these guys are being censured because the January 6th commission is trying to punish people for legitimate political discourse. Legitimate. That's fucking insane. To rebrand the mob that attacked the Capitol and murdered people as legitimate political discourse? That's so fucking problematic on every level, man. Here's what I want to see then. I want to see Mitch McConnell in a door

being squozed by 700 people trying to give a speech. Yeah, right. Because that's legitimate political discourse. That's how it is now. That's legitimate. Right. If they brand that as legitimate political discourse, then every single time people storm the Capitol from now on, as long as it's legitimate, that's a legitimate political discourse.

If that becomes legitimate political discourse. If that becomes political, legitimate political discourse, where is the line? Yeah. Where is the line? What level of violence in mass is, can just be labeled legitimate political discourse and is thus off limits for investigation even? Can I threaten the vice president's life? And if I were to find him, maybe hang him. Yeah, i can i can i storm the capitol with violence and force and then like teasingly call for nancy pelosi while hunting people with fucking maps of the capitol yeah that's legitimate political discourse when does zip ties enter into the equation for legitimate political discourse yeah Holy fucking shit. When do white nationalists

helping to organize and motivate this? When do I, when is that legitimate political? When do I get to beat somebody to death with a fire extinguisher on the floor, on the house floor? When does that happen? Legitimate political discourse. And McConnell is, is one of the few people who's come out and said, and this is a, this is a hardcore Republican. Oh, the hardest core. On the farthest right people that we have. And he said,

no, those people are, they're insurrectionists, period. Yep. Full stop. Yep. That's a weird place right now. And Ted Cruz is like, don't do that.

Don't do it. Because I got spanked the other day. A couple of weeks ago, he got spanked when he went on some- Carlson, Tucker Carlson show. And he got spanked and dismissed. Tucker Carlson treated Ted Cruz like a little bitch, like an app. But the thing is that that would never happen to Mitch McConnell. Yeah.

Because Mitch McConnell wouldn't allow himself to be treated like a bitch. Yeah. Ted Cruz goes on a tucker carlson show and that guy is just the fucking biggest lapdog sycophant yeah bullshit craven spineless worm of a human being that's ever crawled this earth right mitch mcconnell's got jolly jolly nerve man so say what you will he's gonna he's gonna and and this is this is a weird place this is what I was hoping for happening right afterwards and making a huge rift in that party. This is what I was hoping for.

And even Susan Collins comes out and says, she says in this article at the end, Susan Collins says, every moment that is spent relitigating a lost election or defending those who have been convicted of criminal behavior moves us farther away from the goal of victory this fall. Yep. She's saying this is not good for us. She's smart. She knows. But the problem is, is like, this should literally tear that party apart. This is something I think that's big enough that should tear that party apart

because there should be people who are staunchly against this type of thing. You know, you can't run for 36 months as the law and order party and then have something like this happen and not have a giant rift. It just shocks the shit out of me that even still there's many Republicans all in the same ferry together. They're all still crossing on the same boat. They still have this unity that keeps them together, which is terrifying because I'm like, this should be the thing that makes you wake up and say, okay, no, that was too, that was a bridge too far. And the day of, many, many right-wing pundits, big name right-wing pundits, were saying,

this is a bridge too far. I really thought, I really thought January 7th, I really thought from the speeches on the floor, et cetera, I really thought, I was like, okay, this is going to be the thing

where people abandon Trumpism and see the fucking emperor is naked, right? I really thought that was going to be the thing. But turns out, weirdly, a huge number of those people, like fairly quickly, went back on all of their condemnations and went back on the word.

Many never left. Right, yeah. Many never left. A lot of people didn't denounce. A lot of people didn't denounce. Many just stayed, but there was some, you know, there's a few that stuck around and that have held onto this for the whole time.

Admittedly, Mitch McConnell's wavered, but Liz Cheney has been stoutly in this position the whole way. Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney from day one. Mitt Romney hated Trump anyway, but, you know, still. The thing is, like, Mitt Romney called out exactly what was going to happen if they elected him, though. Yep. Like, there was a speech that was goddamn prescient where he's like, fuck, guys, we can't let this happen. Here's all the shit that's going to happen if they elected him though yep like there was a speech that was goddamn prescient where he's like fuck guys we can't let this happen here's all the shit that's going to happen

and then like all that shit happened and he the whole time he's been stomping his foot being like guys dudes and but but you know i i'd be curious if he wins his next election romney yeah i don't know how popular romney is i don't know i will say i will say i've seen him i have seen him heckled many times but i don't know if that will say, I will say I've seen him. I have seen him heckled many times, but I don't know if that's happening in Utah or not. Right. Yeah. It only matters where he's from. It only matters in Utah. Yep. Well, real quick, I do want to say too, like what motivates Ted Cruz is not the truth. And that's, what's really interesting. So Ted Cruz isn't saying, look, this was legitimate political discourse and here's why. What Ted Cruz says is, I think it is

a mistake for Republicans to repeat the political propaganda of Democrats and the corporate media. What he's saying is, this isn't politically useful. That guy could give a fuck about what's true, what's good for the country, what's accurate. Be really clear about who that guy is. That guy cares only about one thing. That guy only cares about winning elections.

Moving the political needle, that's all he cares about. That guy's a piece of shit. That guy only cares about winning elections. Moving the political needle. That's all he cares about. That guy's a piece of shit. God, he's the worst. Fucking hate that guy so much. I hate him more than I hate Mitch McConnell. Yeah. I really do.

I do too. I do too. And I hate Mitch McConnell. I am anxious to see what happens because you'll start to see in the, after next year. So in the, in February,

maybe even I'm thinking it's going to be it normally takes about a year worth of primaries before they so in 23 we're going to start seeing the primaries for 24 that'll be and so we'll get a chance to see who's going to be running and the last time they had 16 or something like that so and the democrats had a million it's fucking now that's i think that's the new thing. That's clown cars. So I'm interested to see who's going to start running in that 23. What a fucking

shit show that's going to be. Yikes. How much worse is a Ted Cruz presidency? A Ted Cruz presidency would be the actual worst. It would be terrible. I think a Ted Cruz presidency would honestly be worse than a Trump presidency because he has no, like, Trump's a horrible, horrible fucking person. Ted is just as bad. Ted is not in any way better than

Trump, but he's also more spineless. Yeah, he's a noodle. So, like, a guy like that is is just insanely dangerous it's just dangerous yeah fuck i mean like you think it's like george w bush was a fucking dullard yeah he was a complete fucking dullard and it was really a cheney presidency yeah but i would worry that a cruise presidency would be a whoever's in front of him presidency yeah whoever says something like whatever the last thing he heard presidency. You know? You ring a bell and he starts salivating. I declare this

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We couldn't have done this book. If we didn't have patrons, we could not have afforded to do this. And that's 100% true. We paid money for an editor. We paid money for an editor. We paid money for an formatter. Tom and I, we worked on it. Our time was our time,

but the people that we paid ahead of time to work on this book, we would have never been able to do it if we didn't have patrons. So the reason why this book even exists, you're 100% right. Without patrons, it wouldn't have worked. There's no way we could have afforded to do this book.

And Tom and I, this week, we just got copies of The Grand Unified Theory of Bullshit, which is right now just print copies that we are looking over to see if the print proof looks good. And if it does, within a couple of weeks, we figure this book's going to be for sale. I know people have been asking us about it. It is not for sale yet. It will be for sale in a couple of weeks, but as it stands, it's still in the proof stage where we still have to look through it and make sure every page looks good. We do have the printed proofs though. And so very soon we will have an audio book, a soft cover book ready to sell, and also ale version but we want to thank our patrons that's what i started out talking about was our patrons and so i want to thank our patrons and our newest

patrons here are our newest patrons cory that one trans demon bio lapse chukawuma ted james travis hunter rob charlie joe philip anna wishing my wife a happy birthday and my friend's daughter Travis, Hunter, Rob, Charlie, Joe, Phillip, Anna, wishing my wife a happy birthday and my friend's daughter a happy just birthday. That's very sweet. Sapien, Derpity, Arcane, Thomas. Okay. Now, it's the longest town name in the world.

It's that la-fa yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to play it really quick so we can hear what it sounds like. All right. Now we'll take it slowly. Are you ready, children? Let's teach the world. Llanfair.

Llanfair. Pwll Gwyngydd. Pwll Gwyngydd. Gogerich Wyrndrobwll. Gogerich Wyrndrobwll. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. Llanfair. okay that's it so that's that's how i say your name i play a youtube video on how to say your name damn i never heard that before my mouth doesn't work like that i just can't do it i'm sorry that's insane i apologize but anyway that's your name on Patreon. And I just played it for you.

Don, Allison, Patricia, another Patricia, David, Christian, Andrea, Maxwell, Sammy, Legend of Gary, John, Stormy Decisis. I think I said that correctly. I'm not sure. Stormy Decisis. Let's begin. um decisis i think i said that correctly i'm not sure stormy decisis again scotus makes learning con law feel like a joke jesus christ that's that's probably a little too upsetting that's

a little too real emily celeste ashley charge that clown with manslaughter anita matthew taylor Slaughter, Anita, Matthew, Taylor, Mal, Victoria, Mel, Heather, John, and Fred, and people who upped their pledges, Rain, Jason, and Legend of Gary. And we'd also like to thank Danielle, who left a very large patron donation. So thank you very much.

Very much for your generous donations. You guys make this show run. So please go to patreon.com slash dissonancepod or dissonancepod.com and click on the Patreon link and become a patron on a per episode basis. We got a nice message. This is from Ted. And Ted said,

you know, I've been listening to the show for 10 years. Wow. Started listening to you guys when I was first getting into college. Didn't know what they wanted to do with their life. And then he says, now I have a fledgling podcast production business and I owe a great majority of my passion for podcasting to you guys. So thank you so much for listening for so long, Ted.

We appreciate it. 10 years. Wow. Message from Frederick. He says, in regards to the forensic investigation thingy, I don't think he did a market survey. I have a background in archaeology

and we've been using ground penetrating radar for a while. And to some extent, you can also use specially trained cadaver dogs, also caliente, to find skeletal remains. I would choose the cadaver dogs.

Which would you rather use? Some boring old ping-ping radar or a dog to play with all day? Like a dog in like a little cadaver vest. He's got a little skull and bones vest on and he's running around sniffing stuff. That's a fucking weird job. It is a weird job.

Like if you're the dog, you're just like, you're happy because they train those dogs to get all excited when they find, it's like they're happy when they smell corpses. So when you die at home,

Yeah, they're just thrilled. They're just thrilled. They just run around wagging their tail for an hour a little enjoy around your core yeah uh we got a message from jay and jay says he was thinking about that pro-life guy we were talking about last episode and this was uh we were talking about the guy who basically was from michigan who said that women who are raped should be thankful and like, thank God that they were raped. And he said,

he mentioned adoption, but I wonder how long it will take for those assholes to start encouraging women to keep their rape babies once they outlaw abortion. And that's the truth too, is like, like, you know, they don't care about the baby at all.

No, they don't care about women. They don't care about babies. They don't care about babies and women. They don't care about the baby at all. What they care about is forcing women to have babies. That's the only thing. It's an act. They only care about that one thing. This is a great message. And this is from Katie. And Katie says, thank you for covering the BS comments made by the Michigan GOP governor candidate. I went to Catholic school and I've

heard many iterations of the same argument. It's basically garbage. From my experience, there is also one other strikingly sexist thing about this line of reasoning. The hypothetical fetus is always a boy who becomes the future's next great man. Maybe the young woman who was raped would have become the president of the United States if she hadn't been prevented from doing so by being forced to have a baby against her will. Maybe she's the one who's destined for greatness and it's this asshole's choices are the ones who are preventing her

from that coming to fruition. That is a great point and that is something I hadn't considered before. It really is a great point. The only issue I would take with it is we're never going to have a woman president. I mean, okay. We will say, what we'll say, Katie, is we're never going to have a woman president. I mean, okay. We will say, what we'll say, Katie, is we'll amend

it to vice president. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. God, it's distressing. This is so good. This is good. We should have named the last episode for the Human Remains Finder and Brendan says it should be called the Abracadabra. That's so good.

That's brilliant. And he copyrighted. So if you do choose that, Brendan has copyright, so you have to pay him. Okay, so we got a message. This is from Seth. And Seth sent an image of the utterance robot and he also put on it Adam and Eve and Gloria.

Check out, we're going to put it on this week's show notes so check it out. Yeah, terrifying. All right, so we want to let you guys know that we will be doing another stream next week on Thursday night. So come check us out on Facebook. You can come check us out on YouTube and you can come check us out on Twitch.

We will have a book in a couple weeks that we will tell you all about and we are super excited about. But the book is not available yet. It will be available in a couple weeks, we think. We'll have Kindle version of Piperback and a audio book hopefully ready to go for you. We will tell you all about it the moment it releases.

It is not released yet, but we have the proof copies and we're super excited to get through this and then eventually release the book. So keep your eyes out for that. Also, I mentioned it earlier, but I'm on GAM. I was on GAM, Godawful Movies with the skating guys for the last three weeks. This is the last one this week. We did Atlas Shrugged one, two, and three. Wow. And Tom and I are also

on this week's Skeptocrat. So check out the Skeptocrat this week. Check out the Godawful Movies this week. And if you've never checked out our other show, our sister show, Citation Needed. You should. You really should. It's really good. It's fun. It's really good.

We just did, the one that released this week was Death Penalty Exonerations. Next week's a fun one that Noah did. A couple of weeks we got, we always take turns at essays and they're always fun. So if you haven't checked it out in a while, maybe you should go check it out uh it's a really great show all right so that's gonna wrap it up for this week we're gonna leave it like we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon

bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble, pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing, water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch, late night info doc attainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox

reflex foot massage, death and towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls Bigfoot, yeti, aliens Churches, mosques, and synagogues Temples, dragons, giant worms Atlantis, dolphins, truthers Birthers, witches, wizards

Vaccine nuts Shaman healers, evangelists Conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata Nonsense Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential.

Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information, and will not be liable for any errors damages or butthurt arising from consumption all information is provided on an as-is basis no refunds produced in association with the local Dairy Council and viewers like you We'll see you next time.