Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 65: We're gonna need more fairy dust

Episode Date: September 18, 2012

Inkredulous episode with us on it: Visit our Website at for more info.

Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. You know, time and time again, we have sent our prayer network a certain place, and terrorists were exposed after that. I mean, God will give us dreams, visions. You know, we harvest the intercessor's meanings.

If we get like five dreams coming to us about whatever, I mean, we have our intercessors there on the ground. We'll call that state or whatever, get over to this place. And I mean, we can't tell you, but we have been able to avert a number of different potential bombings. Well, let me tell you one that happened in our office. Our head of accounting had a dream that a building, you know, got bombed and just crashed. People were dying.

And so I called the staff and I said, and God gave us times what floor it was on, you know, the bomb that hit. And so we began interceding. God showed us in Dallas, Texas, right where we live, that there was a bomb attack being planned. And we began to intercede for the police that they would do a sting operation. Well, in one of our big buildings downtown Dallas, there was a guy planning to blow it up, put explosives in his car,

and it was exposed in the next days. Wow. Yeah. So we know, we know that God used that prayer. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical, it's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 65, if you can believe that shit, of Cognitive Dissonance. Wow. And, you know, if it's a little low energy today, I apologize. I know we're getting this show out a little late. Cecil and I were getting together with all of our Republican friends to go shooting. all of our Republican friends to go shooting. We spent the weekend up in the nether fucking regions of Michigan shooting clay pigeons into pieces of dust like good godless liberals that we are.

Yeah, absolutely. If we're a little tired, we just got back today. So I apologize for the low energy and late program. I also believe the administration was wrong to stand by a statement sympathizing with those who had breached our embassy in Egypt instead of condemning their actions. It's never too early for the United States government to condemn attacks on Americans and to defend our values. The White House distanced itself last night from the statement, saying it wasn't cleared by Washington. That reflects the mixed signals they're sending to the world.

The attacks in Libya and Egypt underscore that the world remains a dangerous place and that American leadership is still sorely needed. In the face of this violence, America cannot shrink from the responsibility to lead. American leadership is necessary to ensure that events in the region don't spin out of control. We cannot hesitate to use our influence in the region to support those who share our values and our interests. Let's go ahead and lead it off with a story that almost needs no introduction at this point. The movie that evidently was so incredibly offensive

that Egyptians stormed an embassy over it and killed at least four people. I think actually the total death toll is now higher. This is a story from the Atlantic or Earth. You can pretty much find this anywhere. I mean, this is like absolutely the easiest story to find. Evidently some dipshit...

When they say they made a movie, that's kind of a grandiose term for the cinematic turd. It's very generous. It's a very generous way of saying like it's like if you were to fall on a fucking keyboard, like a fucking you know, like on a piano. Let's say you tripped Jack Tripper style over

your couch and fell on a fucking piano and somebody's like, that's a beautiful symphony you just composed. That's amazing. This thing is, I mean to call this thing poorly produced and poorly acted is an insult to the poor. You know, like this is almost not, it's so bad it's almost not even made.

Like my computer was like, are you really sure? I've made fucking flip books, stick figure flip books with more nuance of character than this piece of shit. This is fucking unbelievable. The idea that this thing, which basically resembles a fucking fourth graders overzealous Monty Python remake. This is what got people so upset. This is what people were like, oh, man, I saw that. Now I need to kill somebody because you have offended my god it's like your god didn't even your god wouldn't fucking watch this on amazon instant video

yeah you know and that's the thing that you got to think about when these people are flipping the fuck out they're freaking out and and and you okay, well, you're freaking out because some really, really poorly made joke of a movie is saying that you flip out pretty easy. Right. And you just flipped out pretty easy, it turns out. That'd be like if somebody took me to an all-you-can-eat buffet and I was like, I'm going to prove I'm not fat. I'm eating all the food. Like, what? That doesn't.

You're like fucking opening. You're like unhinging your jaw and putting the entire buffet table in your mouth. Exactly. It's like, sir, you ate seven pounds of mashed potatoes and gravy in one sitting to prove you're not fat. Really? That's not a thing to do. Like you're on a fucking truck scale, sir. And you're breaking it. You're actually

damaging this machine. You have fucking warning sounds when you back up, sir. How dare you say we are easily upset? I am very upset. And it was very easy for you to make me this way. Behead all those who do not think the Muslims are

peaceful people, you know? Look, man, I didn't like wedding crashers. Yeah. I didn't storm Vince Vaughn's house, right? You should have, though. I should have. That thing sucked. I wasn't like, I didn't enjoy your movie.

I shall torch your home and destroy your body. What? You're like killing Vince Vaughn's children because your movie was bad. No, it doesn't work out that way. What? You're like killing Vince Vaughn's children because your movie was bad? No. It doesn't work out that way. Can you imagine a God so fucking ridiculously impotent that he's just like, They made a movie and it hurt all my feelings. Why won't somebody stick up for me? You actually have all the power.

Yeah. Did you not notice that? You created, you know, all matter. So you're saying you don't love me then? Why don't you be nice if your god is offended by this movie your god is a three-year-old right your god is a fucking a mental equivalent of a three-year-old but let's talk a little bit tom because i mean this movie is ridiculous being upset over this movie is ridiculous but the the outrage is still real. It doesn't stop the outrage from not being real.

And the president came out and did exactly what you're supposed to do in one of those situations where you're trying to do conflict resolution, right? You come out and you say, look, I know you're upset. We're sorry you're upset. Let's see if we can fix the problems why you're upset. You know what I mean? It's a fucking textbook. It's how you deal with someone who's like flipping the fuck out is you just try to calm them down by recognizing they're upset. And he got – he like fucking – Mitt Romney was like, oh my god, that's the wrong thing to do.

Yeah, and plus Mitt's timing was so bad, right? You know, Obama comes out and is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's everybody just take a fucking deep breath and calm down. Nobody wants to affect, you know. And then, you know, people get killed. And then Mitt Romney comes out and says that that statement was conciliatory and was made after the storming of the embassy when, in fact, it was made and he fucking knew it was made well prior to the to the violence. It's it's exactly what you said. It's like some like there's a fire and like you can see there's a fire starting.

You're like, I threw a bucket of water on that. It's like you love fire. What? I don't. I was trying to put out the fire. As you can clearly see, Obama is the devil and lives in fire. Right. You shouldn't be putting up with fire.

I wasn't trying to put up with fire. I was trying to put out the fire before it got worse. Why do you love wildfires? Why are you saying this? It's like, what is happening here? Do you not understand that the fucking order of events is an important thing to consider? Right. Like you can't get to cause and effect if you're always starting with effect.

It's like effect. OK. Well, what about effect again? What? What? No. You don't get to do that. And I'm with everybody who says that these people are being ridiculous for being outraged.

You're ridiculous for attacking a fucking embassy. You're ridiculous for, you know, and there's questions on whether or not that was the cause of the death, right? Because they're saying like, well, there was anti-American sentiment and they could have instead, with the sentiment that they had, like they could have killed someone and blamed it on this outrage. But instead it was really just anti-American standpoint, you know,

that sort of thing I get, but you know, it, it started somewhere. The fucking smoke screen was there because these people were flipping the fuck out and you've just got to denounce their flipping out. I mean, I get,

I get, I understand being like, wait, you know, calm down, whatever. But at the same time, like fucking stop being fucking children.

Right. Wake the fuck up. You shouldn't fucking injure someone. You shouldn't light things on fire. You shouldn't freak the fuck out when somebody says, somebody makes fun of you or somebody freaks out about you. Somebody makes a movie about you that's mocking you.

In this case, I don't even know what this movie is about because I can't even fucking discern what this movie is about. No, even fucking discern what this movie is about. No. And the thing is that from what I was reading, most of the people who were – they had asked a lot of those things. Have you seen the movie? And like nobody had seen the movie. The only way that the smoke screen works is if you know that everybody is always on a hair trigger, right?

You can only use the bum as a cover when you're sitting on a powder keg. Yeah. And these idiots are just a constant fucking powder keg. And so they can be easily exploited because it's like, oh, we can just fucking throw a match in the general direction of these fucking dimwits and watch them go off. Because they're primed to get upset over nothing yeah over abso-fucking-lutely nothing it's like you know if somebody insulted

my wife or my kid they're just like i think your kid is ugly and your wife is fat your face is stupid you're like don't hang out with me i guess like you know go play somewhere else like good for you i'm glad you have an opinion. Who cares? You know, that's an absurd. It would be like, I fucking disagree with you, so I'm going to get a hundred of my closest friends and destroy you physically. We're going to light your house on fire. No, it doesn't happen.

There was somebody on our webpage, on our Facebook page who was like basically saying, you know, these guys are flipping over – flipping out over a book. We basically need to turn their country into glass. That's a stupid position. That is a dumb position. I'm sorry. That's fucking stupid. You don't fucking, you know, basically – even if it's – and I'm not saying nuclear bomb or whatever. That's obviously what that's referring to.

But that's not – you can't be serious. First off, you cannot be serious about that. But even if you were serious about a military occupation or a surgical strike even, I think that's just equally ridiculous. What are you going – who are you going to strike? Who are you going to kill? Are you just going to roll in and just be like, well, you killed some innocents. Sorry, got to kill all your innocents now. Yeah, right. And how are you going to accomplish that?

You're upset about a book. We would prefer that you weren't. Here's a missile. That didn't change my mind at all. It's a stupid thing to say. It's just violence and retribution. It's a total intolerance, which I'm sympathetic to an intolerance

of violent standpoints. I'm sympathetic to an intolerance that that you know of violent standpoints i'm sympathetic to intolerance of religious nonsense that results in the death of other people absolutely but the solution to that is dialogue like the solution to that is education the solution to that is is not like fucking cruise missiles sure very few problems are ever actually solved. Like that's a really short list of problems that get solved like that. It's like, oh, well, we really got some work to do over there. Have we thought about maybe using a cruise missile?

Oh, no, that's a terrible idea. I like the way you think. Promote that, man. Yeah, and really anybody who looks upon the world with an eye for an eye standpoint, you're a fucking Bronze Age thinker. Whether or not you call yourself an atheist, you're still a Bronze Age thinker if you think like that. I would say that you're not much of a thinker. You're a reactor. Yeah.

Like you're just a reactionary. You're just like, well, I am angry. I am angry that you got angry. You got angry so I'm angry. View my anger. Let's clash anger together. Yeah, no kidding. Like, what are you, fucking dimwit?

You're not solving any problems. Right, right. Let's sit down. We've got to have a dialogue. You've got to have education. You've got to do the things that will bring stability and the open trade of ideas to a group of people and a nation of people and really a region of the world that does not have that you know and that's the way that you're going to have you know a more moderate and accepting culture i mean you can't change the shit overnight it's not going to change

cecil while you and i are alive no i'll go to my fucking grave and this will still be a fucking powder keg right and it's because it's because they hate freedom tom right they do it's the freedom they're freedom haters freedom haters it's because they hate the freedom that's why they're gonna flip no what you need to do is exactly what you say you know be educated be over here and not be offended when somebody makes fun of you know god you, nobody has threatened my life because of hillbilly God, not a single, I've never received a single fucking death threat because I fucking do a fucking hick voice with God at the end of it. You know what I mean? Where I'm pretending to be God almighty, the dumb fuck hillbilly that he is. Nobody's ever

fucking sent me a death threat. So, you know, look at that. Look at that and say, OK, well, why can't I be like those people who just brush this dumb fuck, you know, off? You should be able to brush off dumb fucks. Right. Exactly. Wouldn't you be able to look at somebody and be like, that is an ill-considered position. So I've ignored it. Right. If you get upset over that position, you are not a – you haven't thought it through yourself or you're so worried.

You're so like afraid maybe you're wrong. I don't know. I mean I don't know what's going through your head that you would react to something like this. And this is not a fucking – this is not an isolated case of them flipping out over shit that's stupid. You write a Danish cartoon and you kill somebody for it. You fucking – you murder a producer of, of a movie in, in, in Denmark. Right. I mean, Salman Rushdie had, you know,

fought with it declared against him. You know, it's ridiculous. It's this idea that, you know, again, like you've got to stand up for your impotent God is absurd to me. Which leads me to another theory. Ladies and gentlemen, just wild wild theory picking it off the wall all it is is a theory what if what if eamon al-zawahiri and other al-Qaeda leaders gave up Osama bin Laden for the express purpose of making Obama look good, giving Obama stature, political capital.

So Cecil, this story is from Salon.com. Unreal. Rush Limbaugh, al-Qaeda gave up Osama bin Laden, gave up Obama. Wait. That's what he wants you to think. He wants you to think it's Obama-Osama. He wants that link.

He wants that link. He said the terrorist group wanted to make Obama look good so that he would remain in the White House. So they gave up Osama bin Laden. What fucking hole did this fucking piece of shit, I mean, it had to be a large hole. Yeah, oh yeah. Like a hole dug by some sort of massive machinery. It's like an impact crater from a meteor or something.

You know? What caldera did this idiot climb? This oozing pile of shit. Really? This is the sort of nonsensical vitriol that you spew into the airwaves? You should come on cognitive dissonance. Yeah, it's kind of scary that somebody would say something that's so blatantly false just to try to convince people of his point of view, right? You're basically lying to try to get people to dislike someone.

And I think it's real easy to motivate the people that hate President Obama, Barack Hussein Obama. I think it's very easy to motivate people to dislike him. He's been fighting. How long, Tom, has he been fighting the birther thing? I mean, he's still fighting it. Why he was continuing that nonsense. You can't look less credible. You know, but it comes from that playbook, right?

Just keep saying it. Yeah. Just keep repeating it. You know, at some point, you'll fucking drum it into people's heads through repetition. It comes from that playbook, right? Just keep saying it. Yeah. Just keep repeating it. You know, at some point you'll fucking drum it into people's heads through repetition. If you can't get there by evidence, get there by repetition. And it's the same thing with there's so many different Republican pundits that are that are so they're just so off the wall and just saying complete blatant untruths and then also being inflammatory and mean and lying. And, you know, you get Michael Savage, you get Rush Limbaugh, you get Mark Levin, you've got Ian Coulter, Sean Hannity. They all live in a world that is not real. They all live in a, I mean,

if they believe the things they say, which I do not believe they believe the things they say. But if they believe these things, they live in a world that is so divorced from reality. It's fucking – it's like Never Never Land. It's not even a fucking real thing. They are consistently like this though and I think this is just par for the course. I wasn't even surprised when I heard he said it. I was like, oh, yeah, of course he would say that. Well, this is the fucking gaping blueberry-filled pie hole that this sort of nonsense would spew forth from.

You know, I mean, you're right. It does seem like some Never Never Land bullshit, except for that there's a fucking truckload of pixie dust required to lift this fucker up off his feet. It's. You know, if he's doing the play, they need a really strong fly system. Right. You know what I mean? They're not even trying to hold him up with like the half invisible strings. They just got like a fucking three inch chain and a winch.

And like six boys and a man on the end of it trying to lift him in the air they're like hit like slapping stampy the elephant pull you see the joke is funny because he's fat yeah i see we're making fun of his fatness that's what we're saying the idea that he would just feel free to espouse what he even himself calls a wild theory. But it's like, well, I'm going to call it a wild theory. That way nobody will come out and say that you're making shit up because I'm just clearly fucking making shit up. But I'll repeat it again and again and again and again until my wild theory loses its veil of I'm just spitballing here, guys, and comes to be accepted by a certain segment of the population as fact. Yeah.

And these guys, these idiots fucking change opinion. Like, people intentionally tune a radio dial to this guy. He reaches millions of people a week. You know what I mean? I would sell my car if I got in it and Rush Limbaugh was playing on it. I'd be like, it's fucking irredeemably damaged. I would rather it were on fire or in a flood. I'd be like, fucking, it's gone.

I wouldn't even turn off the car. I would just leave it wherever it was at for thieves to steal. The thief would walk in, get down, be like, cool car, and then his ears start bleeding, his nose starts bleeding, he starts going in convulsions. You kill more thieves that way. Their head just blows up like in scanners.

Yeah, but this guy is just – this is par for the course though. I mean this is not even like – I wasn't even surprised when I heard him say it. I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, because he says dumb shit. And people believe it or people buy it or people give it, you know, maybe they're saying the same thing here. They're like, well, you know, I can't be sure, but I think. I can't be sure, but I think. I can't be sure, but I think, you know, Barack Obama's really working with, you know, the blacks and the gays in this country to take over, you know, the everyday working man.

I can't be sure, but I think that he's working with, you know, the terrorists. I can't be sure, but I don't think he was actually born in this country. I can't be sure, but I think that he's working with, you know, the terrorists. I can't be sure, but I don't think he was actually born in this country. I can't be sure, but I think he was probably involved in 9-11 somehow. You know what I mean? Exactly. Why do you even give credence to anything anybody says when they say something like, when they start a sentence that way? Yeah, exactly. It's like, well, here's

just some crazy outlandish bullshit. Maybe Obama, Sasquatch, and the Loch Ness Monster all had a gay sex party on the moon. It's very unlikely. I don't think that that occurred. It's very unlikely. It's like as unlikely as Obama going back in time and going to Mars.

Right. I remember that story. Fucking Rush Limbaugh. Just go back to the Oxycontin. He was more cogent, that's for sure. Right, right. There are 47% of the people who have voted for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47% who are with him, who are dependent upon government,

who believe that they are victims, who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it. But that's an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what. And I mean, the president starts off with 48, 49, 40, 30.

He starts off with a huge number. These are people who pay no income tax. 47% of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn't connect. And you'll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean, that's what they sell every four years. And so my job is not to worry about those people. I'll never convince them that they should take first-hand responsibility and care for their lives.

What I have to do is convince the 5% to 10% in the Senate that are independent, that are thoughtful, that look at voting one way or the other, So this story comes from HuffingtonPost.com. This is a relatively new story. It just came out today. Mitt Romney video, Barack Obama voters dependent on government. Kind of unbelievable. You take a look at some of the transcript of this video. This is Mitt, you know, finally being a little candid, speaking off the

cuff, being relaxed, you know, in front of people that he sees as safe, probably did not know that he was being videotaped at the time, because I will quote him if he thought if he knew he was being videotaped at the time, he is a spectacularly stupid individual. Quote, there are 47% of the people who will vote for the president no matter what, Romney says in one clip. All right, there are 47% who are with him, who are dependent on government, who believe that they are victims, who believe that government has the responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care to food to housing my job is not to worry about those people i'll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives says mitt romney one of the richest men in the world he said as he shot a poor person in the face.

Because he brought his tuna sandwich to him 30 seconds late. My Rolex is off by a minute. I could reset it or just buy seven new ones. Yeah. Fucking ridiculous. He makes Rolexes out of like poor people's bones, you know.

Bones? He gets such a nice sweep of the second hand. Yeah, people's bones, you know? Bones? He gets such a nice sweep of the second hand, though. Yeah, it's really – there's no way to recreate it. You know what I mean? Like you really just got to – this guy – here's the thing. You know, like before there was this moment in American history here very recently where it was the 99 percent versus the 1 percent, right? where it was the 99% versus the 1%, right? We had this moment where it's like,

you know, the really super ultra rich of the country, there's, you know, they're in their own little world. This guy, he's basically saying 47% of the population he doesn't give a rat's ass about. That's what, that's the guy you want to elect? The guy who's going to say, yeah, I only care about 53% of the population and you better get that 53% of the population. I'll vote for you, bro. You know what I mean? Like because it's fucking polling numbers show that fucking 53% of the people in the country

don't even vote. So you better really fucking motivate that base really well. But then the very fact that he's like, I don't give a fuck. I would fucking dump on their fucking face if they were in front of me, you know, because they can't take it. They can't fucking, they're not fucking responsible for their lives. Yeah, that's because they didn't grow up fucking son of a governor, able to go to Harvard, you know, fucking, yeah, not all of us got to grow up that way. This is the same asshole that a couple weeks ago was just like, yeah, fucking median income is like $200,000, right? Like, that's a poor person. It's like John McCain being like, well, you know, $50 an hour isn't a lot of money.

Right. Exactly. $50. I don't know how much you get paid for picking a $50 an hour. $50 an hour. This kind of nonsense is, you're right. What it does is this is a megaphone that broadcasts how out of touch the ultra wealthy are with the all of the other people. You know, there is a gap there that I just I genuinely don't think that it can be crossed. You know, you compare like Mitt Romney or Mitt Romney's kids, right?

Mitt Romney's kids wake up in the morning and they have to worry about, you know, I mean, in an ideal world, like they would wake up in the morning as children, as teenagers, as people in their 20s at realizing their potential. don't mean to take that away from them. But what they don't have to worry about is, you know, I am the child of a single parent living on a fixed income with no education in an area where my schools are unsafe and underfunded. Like they don't have to worry about that shit. They don't have to, they don't have to worry that when they have a day off of school like the teacher strike in Chicago. There is real concerns that a lot of those kids that end up out of school for a week, their best meal of the week, their best meal of the day, I should say, comes from the school system. People were genuinely concerned about how are we going to feed these kids because their parents don't have enough fucking money to feed them. And you want to tell me that everybody's success is individualized. To such a large degree, we are the product of our environment, of our context, of the social and environmental situations that we find ourselves in. And there are people who pull themselves up by their bootstraps. There are people who climb

themselves out of the fucking living hells from which they've been born, but they are the exception. They are absolutely not the norm. And to, to pretend that there's not a difference there and to say like, well, they just, they think of themselves as victims. So fucking tra la la back to my fucking Wally world bullshit where everything is, you know, beautiful and pretty. And I have enough money to buy Lamborghinis every Wednesday. Fuck you, dude. Yeah. You're showing people that you are so divorced from reality that you have no idea how an actual human being that doesn't have millions of dollars lives. I mean, you know, he's saying in here, he says

they expect half of their needs to be supplied by the government that, uh, that they believe they're entitled to healthcare, to food, to housing. You know what? Like if they didn't get any of that help, we would have people dying because of that. You know, like, I mean, we're talking about, you know, public housing here. Have you ever lived in public housing, Matt? Do you know what that's like to live in public housing? Do you have any fucking idea? Do you think these people are happy that they're living in public housing? You think this is what they choose?

They're like, fuck, man, I fucking love public housing. Holy fuck, dude, that is fucking balls to the wall awesome. I love my fucking government cheese. I love my fucking, I love living in public housing I love going to fucking wait 17 hours at the emergency room just to see somebody because I fucking I'm a little sick you know what I mean like I love

having to fucking eat powdered milk instead of real milk I love having to fucking have the shame of walking up and be like you know what I'm gonna have to fucking get food stamps I'm gonna have to get you know a credit card that's fucking only allowed to buy me food I'm going to have to fucking get food stamps. I'm going to have to get a credit card that's fucking only allowed to buy me food supplied by the government. I'm happy that I go through the line at school where they give me my free lunch so everybody can laugh at me. You have no idea what it's like to be poor.

You have no fucking clue, man. You are fucking so ultra rich. You don't even know what it's like to be regular rich. I know. That's exactly right, man. There's such a difference even between him and the just unbelievably wealthy, right? Like just the, like just the Lexus rich, right? You know what I mean? Like just the, the casually rich, like they're there, that golf to, to get to the middle class is insurmountable, but to get to the, you to get to the folks who are genuinely and truly in need.

And I got to tell you, if you ask me like, well, people believe they're entitled to health care, to food, and to housing, yeah. Yeah. You know what? I think people are entitled to health care, food, and housing. I want to live in a world where people don't. healthcare, food, and housing. I want to live in a world where people don't, I want to structure a society that provides, that makes sure that people have those basic needs. Because when people don't have access to healthcare, they're fucking sick. And I don't want people to be sick because I'm not a terrible fucking human being. And I want people to have a nice meal in their belly. And I

want people to have a roof over their head. Because that is, if we're going to look at ourselves as a nation and we're going to say, well, we are a tribe writ large, right? We are a society as one, we are a community and we have a responsibility to each other as a nation that means something. Then don't I want everybody to have it the very least the fucking basics for human survival i mean we're talking about food and housing and medicine we're not talking about you know plasma tv we're not saying everybody has a right to a fucking plasma tv or or a uh a new harley davidson you know like it's not nobody's suggesting that but people like, hey, you know what would be great? When it rains, maybe you should be dry.

Yeah. When it's cold, maybe you should have a warm place to go. When you're hungry, you know, maybe you shouldn't have to just fucking wait till tomorrow's school day to eat. You know, maybe that shouldn't be the best meal you get during the day. And the idea is the idea that he's saying is like basically the government is giving away, you know, 40 like to all these people giving away these food stamps and things and making people think, oh, hey, you know, the Democratic Party, you know, that's that's who we need to back because they're giving all this money away to these people. It's like they would much rather have a job. You don't understand. You don't get that. Everybody, everybody thinks that they believe this myth that fucking that

the far right has has propagated for years and years and years that people are happy on welfare, that people are are happy to get, you know, government checks. You know, I'm sure there are a few people out there that think that they're gaming the system that like, you know, have a, have a, wind up getting government money and are okay with it. But there is a vast majority of those people who would fucking do anything to get a job, a regular job to be able to work and earn money and to, you know, pull the, have the opportunity to pull themselves up by a bootstrap, you know, but at this point they can't do that. They can't do it because they're stuck in this, you know, this cycle of poverty that,

that really is hard to break. And, and, you know, for people to come by and thumb their nose from their fucking, you know, from like their Bentley, you know, you're an idiot, you're an asshole and you have no idea what it's like to be a real person. Have my driver take me around to the mission so I can thumb my nose at them. God.

Think about it this way, Tom. If this guy gave up all but 1% of his wealth, he would be ultra rich. Yeah. I mean, you're very, very right. If he was down to 1% of his assets, he'd be richer than almost – than everybody I've ever met. Yeah. He would actually be wealthier than twice the income of the wealthiest person I've ever met in my life on 1 percent of his assets.

Yeah. It's $2.3 million. Your net worth would be $2.3 million. You would never have to worry about anything. Right. You're like, oh, I'm worth $2.3 million. I invested it at 6%. Oh, okay, great. Well, off of my investments alone, I'm making more money than most people make. Off my investment alone at 6% on $2.3 million, not even touching the base asset, you're making, you know, $140,000, $145,000 a year.

Vastly more than most people make. So we're going to take a quick break, give you some information to contact us, and we'll be right back after this. Want to contact Cognitive Dissonance? Visit them on Facebook. You can find the link at the website, dissonancepod.com, or type it in the Facebook search bar. Be sure to follow the guys on Facebook. You can find the link at the website dissonancepod.com or type it in the Facebook search bar. Be sure to follow the guys on Twitter. Their handle is at dissonance underscore pod.

The guys also post to Google Plus now, too, so check them out there. And if you'd like to email them, you can do so at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. You can also leave a comment on the blog at their webpage or give them a call at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Long distance rates apply. And to everyone who listens, shares, retweets, or rates the show, Cognitive Dissonance would like to cordially thank you for all of your fucking support. dissonance would like to cordially thank you for all of your fucking support. So Cecil, this story is from AddictingInfo.org.

Republican delegate says children with disabilities are punishment for past abortions. What a crazy thing to say. Bob Marshall, a Republican delegate from Virginia, said that, quote, the number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the firstborn of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children. I think the evil laugh was inserted by me. Nature. Nature does, right?

I like that nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children, not the parent. Yeah. Like nature's just like, ha, ha, ha, I will visit the sins of the mother on the children who were innocent of the crime. Because I'm an asshole. I am nature. What does he mean by nature? What do you think he means? God.

Maybe this is code. Maybe this is code. Maybe this is code. Yeah, no kidding. Fucking asshole. Yeah, what an insult to people who are raising children with disabilities. Like, to say, like, oh, well, you know, your kid's basically

punishment. Maybe it wasn't abortion, but clearly it was something. Maybe you shouldn't piss off nature next time. Maybe you should use fluorescent light bulbs. You made an Indian cry a single tear. Yeah, I think that's true. That's really just a shitty thing to say about, you know, you're basically getting punished by some outside force for your child with disabilities. You're like, oh, you sure it isn't just, you know, like fucking random luck of the draw of just regular genetics? Oh, no, it's something you did.

It's certainly something you did. Because, you know, all children are perfect except for, you know, unless their parents, you know, did something bad. Yeah. What a kick in the junk. I mean, there's just no other way around it, right? It's just like, oh, you know, you could have had a beautiful baby. You could have had a perfect, healthy, but, you know, I'm not only telling you that your

child with disabilities is less than, so I'm not only denigrating your child. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, yeah. don't forget about that right but then i'm also blaming you for it so like i'm fucking i'm exacerbating the problem and then fucking pinning it on you like a fucking tail on a donkey no kidding what a shithead this man is How does this guy get elected to be a delegate? How is this guy like, you know, I think I've got something to say. People, when they hear me speak, they follow me. So I'm just going to stand here and insult them.

Because it doesn't matter who you are. I mean, you're not less likely to have children with disabilities disabilities because you're republican so you'd be insulting your own base if the ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities we could really bust some heads in a spiritual sense of course see so this next story is just fucking weird yeah it's from arizona's abc15.com on On July 21st, the body of a 24-year-old was found on the floor of a house in Congress, Arizona. Now, it wasn't so much found as it was called in by living beings. Living beings, yes. Living beings. This is so strange.

This guy evidently had gone to a spiritual retreat, and his spirit retreated right out of his body. It just, like, part of him retreated. It just forgot to take his physicality. Right, right. Right? He's just like, I gotta go, guys. So is he no longer a living being? He is no longer a living being.

He is fucking dead as a goddamn doornail. And when they called it in, it's just insane. So they call it in. The person refuses to identify themselves. They hang up before they can get an address. They call in and when they get the dispatcher on the line, the person says,

am I speaking with a living human being? Which is a bizarre question, unless you have a corpse on your floor that maybe you've been chatting with for a while. Maybe at some point you're just like, man, I have spent the better part of two days talking to that

corpse. I'm getting nowhere. I'm making a phone call. I'm trying to get a fucking live person on the phone. It's like when you call and you get stuck in voicemail hell and you're like, can't I just get a phone call I'm trying to get a fucking live person on the phone It's like when you call and you get stuck in voicemail hell and you're like, can't I just get a live person You're slamming zero, you're like, zero, zero, zero Maybe she was just pressing his navel

You know Zero, zero, I want to talk to the operator Yeah, I like the part of this article that you pointed out to me earlier where the dispatcher asked the woman if she would like to talk to medical personnel for CPR or anything. And the woman chuckled, no, no, not really. I think that's unnecessary.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. See, because they're dead. You know, how fucking macabre is that? Like, what a fucking morbid fucking spiritual retreat. Come to our spiritual retreat. Experience the calming waters. Enjoy the flameless candles. And if you fucking die, we'll chuckle over your fucking corpse and not try to get your medical attention.

We'll talk to you for two days beforehand and then try to get you, well not medical attention coroner attention we'll get you that fucking we'll get you medical examiner we'll call fucking quincy and csi and they'll come over and check this shit out and when the police do come by um when they interview all the people but said none of them would identify themselves with a name they all just referred to themselves as living beings which is great that they were at least able to differentiate themselves from the lifeless body that caused the deputies to arrive in the first place. Awesome, man. Yeah. Like these are people if there was a comet, they would kill themselves.

Right? I know. That's the first thing I thought of. Like, were they into Nike sneakers? Were they really into Nike sneakers? Because these people make me worry a little bit. Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

These are people. These spiritual retreats are bad for your health. Totally hail pops. You know what's so funny, though? Like, when your spiritual retreat or your cult is so crazy that the fucking the scientologist looks sane you really need to fucking reevaluate when you're like fucking xenu makes sense compared to living being you really need to rethink we're not one of those rationality cults like scientology

oh way to be dead of those rationality cults like Scientology. Oh, way to be dead. You want answers? I think I'm entitled to them. You want answers! I want the truth! You can't handle the truth! So this next story is from HuffingtonPost.com, and this is low-hanging Pat Robertson fruit again. I love it pat robertson

says he managed to say say something crazy on a nearly weekly basis at this point the uh the senility has completely set in and he's just saying what he means absolutely he has no more filter he's like your fucking crotchety old fucking senile grandpa who grew up in the racist South who just fucking anytime he sees a black person, he just outwardly calls him a nigger and doesn't care. Exactly. And you're just like, oh, yeah, we need to put grandpa back in the house. We need to make sure that he gets taken care of in a place away from other people. Yeah. No kidding.

It's like, oh, whoa, whoa. That's not a we don't live in that world anymore. We got rid of that world because it was shit. That's what we – we don't live in it anymore. And only rappers use that word now, Grandpa. Stop it. That's right. Unless you're going to grab a mic and bust a sack, then, you know, Pops, you need to kind of relax.

Shut the fuck up. But, you know, Pat Robertson was hanging out with Romney not too long ago. Like he's still a reasonably influential figure. That's crazy to me that they would hang out because I think their religions are like diametrically opposed. One would think so, but I've never – I've not understood since day one how Romney could possibly have any traction in the Republican Party as a member of a, at best, fringe … Yeah, splinter group. Right. Christian sect.

I mean how do you motivate the evangelicals by being like, yeah, also we have all these other books. Yeah. Wait, what? You motivate them by saying there's going to be a thousand years of darkness. Right. A thousand years of darkness. Back to fucking Pat Robertson. What a dick.

Yeah. Pat Robertson recently said he was responding to a call. First of all, the call or the letter that he was responding to was so fucking misguided and misogynist as to beggar belief. Yeah. The guy basically wrote in. You're totally right. As I recall, I was just like – when they were reading it's how my mouth was open i was like what he says my wife has become a real problem she has no respect for me as the head of the house

she insults me and she's even went as far as stretching her hand to beat me i've lost my self-confidence her words hurt so much and she refuses to talk through our problems. Please tell me what I can do. I remember like the beginning. I'm like, wait, she's because no respect for me as the head of the house. Like, wait a minute. That's fucking ridiculous. But, you know, look, go to fucking counseling if your wife's raising her hand to beat you, bro.

Right. Exactly. Like if my wife is like, I'm going to beat you up. I'm not going gonna stick around here yeah we're not gonna have a conversation about head of the household what do you i'm not filing my fucking taxes right now kidding right head of the household yeah what the maybe she's fucking smacking you around because you're a fucking troglodyte maybe that's why you're like i am the head of the household be like fucking are you insane it is not 1949 yeah head of the household. Are you insane? It is not 1949.

Head of the household fucking bullshit. Pat Robertson's response was, well, you could become a Muslim and you could beat her. He gets crazier as he goes. Was he kidding? I think so. I think that's a joke to him. I think that that is something that he would think would be funny. So he says it. I personally think what he should do is look a little closer inward because there's plenty of references to you beating your wife in the Bible. You could just do it. Right. So, you know, you don't have to be a Muslim. You could just be somebody who follows the Bible to the letter. You know, like a

creationist or a promise keeper or something. Yeah, it's, you know, you don't have to become a Muslim to be a religious misogynist dipshit. I mean, you already are. Right, exactly. Like, you're living proof. Like, sir, you are proof of concept here.

Yeah, no kidding, right? Like, this is not, this is no longer experimental. Yeah, you're not a fucking artist rendering, bro. No, but it's totally true. Like, look, I understand that there's people out there that are upset that he's, like, saying, you know, oh, you could become a Muslim. I mean, I think he's telling the truth because there is a high rate of people that do do some really shitty stuff to women in other parts of the world. And those places happen to have Sharia law and things like that. So I'm fucking – I'm down.

But at the same time, it's like the fact is, is that all the same stuff occurs in the same book that you seem to hold on high. The only difference is, is that it's a social faux pas over here to hit your wife, and the patriarchy has been broken down a little more over here, so it's not socially acceptable to go home and fucking blacken her eye. But the fact of the matter is that all the same justifications come from the same text that you guys are both fucking buddy-buddy on. Exactly. That's exactly true.

This idea that, you know, this is a way for him to be both misogynist and to vilify Muslims at the same time. Absolutely, yeah. Like, he saw this one coming, he's like, I got a fucking hate-filled bat of bullshit to knock this one out of Rationality Park and right into the stands of insanity. Like this thing is going to land plunked down into a crowd of dipshits who will gobble this up. That was the only baseball metaphor you will ever hear out of me. It's awesome because like again, I think – it's so funny because the women that are on this show, they just like fucking roll with the punches so to speak.

You know what I mean? They're just always kind of like giggling and like, oh, Pat. Oh, Pat. Oh, I got to move on because I'm in trouble sort of thing. You know, like there's this almost this sort of – it's like a bigotry reverence they have for him they're just like oh pat you're just so antiquated you just really just just hate women don't you you're just so cute in the way you hate women you're just so cute in the way you hate islam right they're basically just like i'm just glad i have a job yeah no kidding that's really what it is right it's like i'm just my job is to

sit here and nod my fucking empty vacuous head in the direction of this crinkled up fucking newspaper of an old man. And doesn't that lady look like the church lady from SNL? Doesn't she seem like she's just like, you know, like that fucking church lady bit like totally seems like it to me. It like totally seems like it to me. So, Tom, you know, we're doing really well with the Apocalypse Without Borders. And when I say we, I mean the listeners have been awesome. We haven't done anything. We just told people, you know, this is going to be a good charity to donate to.

Doctors Without Borders. Our charity drive is called Apocalypse Without Borders. As of this moment, we have $1,528. We're still hoping to get more money between now and December 22nd. So if you haven't put in any money, we really encourage you to do so. Tom and I, at the beginning of October, we're going to throw in our $200. And remember, the person who donates the most is going to get a brand-new T-shirt. We are hopefully by then, we'll see, see gonna have a different vendor for t-shirts because one of our listeners contacted us so we're gonna hopefully have a different vendor

for t-shirts by then and they won't suck so that'll be good so we'll be able to delete the other stores that we have and we'll be able to uh to actually get people shirts that are not gonna fucking you don't have to like you don't look like you't look like you're at a wet t-shirt contest with a dry t-shirt. Yeah. You know, at some point the t-shirts are so bad it's like you could win a t-shirt? Yeah. You can't give it away to anybody ever? You got to wear a shirt underneath your t-shirt.

Like what do you wear underneath a t-shirt? It's already a t-shirt. And this week we had said that we were on the t-shirt. It's already a t-shirt. And this week, we had said that we were on the Incredulous podcast. Last time we had Andy from the Incredulous podcast and the Merseyside Skeptics came on to our show. Did a great job. Was a lot of fun. Really smart guy. Glad he came along. But this week, Tom, we were featured on the Incredulous podcast and that's available now too. It absolutely is i think it's a uh it was an interesting show it was a lot of fun to do so head over there and take a listen

i i think we acquitted ourselves nice yeah we you know we we really did i think uh have a lot of fun i wish um that the that dean's mic was better because dean i think was the funniest thing about that show fucking hilarious the other guest that was. He's a neuroscientist and a blogger and I think somebody who works for The Guardian. And he is fucking hilarious. He was quick and funny and he's really worth listening to. His microphone wasn't great, but if you can catch what he has to say, I thought he was outstanding. So we had a blast on that show. It was a great time. We hope to be asked again eventually, but it was really a good time. We thank them. So go ahead and head on over to the Merseyside Skeptics page and listen to Incredulous. I'll link to the episode on this episode of Cognitive Dissonance. We got an email from Mark and Mark sent us some

wonderful pictures, Tom. Fucking spectacular pictures. He was inspired, I think, Cecil, inspired by your spot on interpretations of hillbilly God. And he sent us some fucking hillbilly pictures he took with his buddy. Yeah, I guess he had taken them before. And he was just like, wait a second. These these things are fucking, you know, he said a photo uh shoot uh dressed as a hillbilly and the pictures turned out really well and it looks hilarious well today i was thinking of your hillbilly god and suddenly thought of

these photos and i'd send him shares so he had them before but some of these are so funny we are actually going to link to one of these for the episode. And it's our favorite. It's the one with Hillbilly. This Hillbilly has a knife. And it just says, if you don't love Jesus, I'm going to kill you. It's all spilt all crazy. It's totally spilt all crazy. And the eyes are crossed. And he's wearing a trucker cap and torn up bib overalls.

And really, it does. I mean, this is Hillbilly Jesus. Oh, yeah. You know, the best part is, like, no matter how fucking filthy, disgusting, dirty you make yourself, you still look cleaner than the actual hillbilly God would be. Oh, yeah, absolutely. But we're going to use the picture for our episode this time, so thank you very much for sending them in. We're happy that you did that.

Thanks a lot. Corey sends us an email and asks Tom if we've ever touched on the River Ganges and how massively polluted and disgusting it is. And we haven't. You know, if what we try to cover is current events, something that pops into the news, a story, general sort of like general interest items. We don't usually cover because they don't have like a current event context. If you see something, though, that pops up that strikes your fancy, if this is something that you're interested in, if it comes up in the news, send it to us. We'll absolutely think about covering it if we think we can make hay on it. I can make a lot of dead livestock jokes.

There's a lot. I mean, dead livestock, it's just a fucking veritable joke farm. Yeah. So no worries. Send that in. There goes another god. There goes another god. There goes another god.

Instead of counting sheep, you're counting cows. Counting cows. So we got an email from Simon. Simon asks a question. Simon says – Simon is from – a Kiwi from NZ, by the way. I don't know. I don't really have a joke about that. I just thought I'd say it. But anyway, Simon says, OK, so here's what puzzles Simon. If God looks like us, then he also has to function like us, right? And basically asks, OK, so how does he shit and what kind of parts does he have? Or she have, right?

Because he even says, is it a penis or a fanny? A fanny. I love that. A fanny. That sounds so dirty, doesn't it? Like when you call a pussy a fanny. I love that, a fanny. That sounds so dirty, doesn't it? Like when you call a pussy a fanny. I always thought that was the arse. It is in the American context, but I don't think it is.

I think fanny in the other context is the old. The bajingo. Yeah, the bajingo. Snuffle up a pussy. Yeah, there's f. The snuffle-up-a-puss. Yeah, there's fanny shrinking cream out there that you could put on. Yeah, you know, Simon, you got a point. Yeah. But, you know, what I imagine is really the case is that God just isn't. Yeah.

And I think you do too. Yeah. And here's the other thing too is that you have this – you can never ask these questions because they just explain it away as magic. They're like, yeah, we're created in his image, but that's like something metaphorical. And you're like, well, wait. You're treating the fucking Bible as literal. You're saying we're fucking 6,000 years old. Why is this particular thing a metaphor and the other stuff isn't or whatever?

You can never corner these people and fucking get them to give you a straight answer right because at some point you'd be like because i'm just picking and choosing to make this bullshit make sense why don't you understand we got another letter from auric uh auric uh actually uh the only reason i can pronounce your name is because you say – pronounce it like R, like a pirate. So you're Arik. Thank you, Arik, for sending us a mail. Thank you very much, sir. Here there be emails.

And here there be corrections. Yeah, and here there be gays. Right. Be gays. Right. He did say that Tel Aviv is much more liberal and accepting of homosexuals than we certainly joked about or let on or were aware of. No, we're aware – seriously aware of I think is where you're at. Yeah, because neither of us have been or will ever be to Tel Aviv. Nope.

Not going to happen. Very unlikely. So, yeah. So we wouldn't know. Tel Aviv. Nope. Not going to happen. Very unlikely. So, yeah. So we wouldn't know. But, but yeah, I, I, I imagine that there is, you know, some progressive, you know, obviously it's, it's more progressive than we had thought it would be. But, you know, when we get, when we get stories of, of that, the ultra Orthodox community yelling at women for sitting in the front of the bus, you know, part of us thinks like, how the fuck could you possibly be a gay person over

there if you can't even be a woman over there? The only way I'm going to Tel Aviv is if I'm kidnapped by a shipping container. No kidding, right? Like, that's it. Yeah. We got an email from Javier, I guess. I don't know. It's actually pronounced JVR.

JVR. A lot of people don't pronounce that right. JVC sent us an email. But Javier sent us an email and said – because we talked about that Colombian witch burning that was going on. And it said – Javier said that while they're from Norway, we talked about this witch burning in Colombia and they were born there. And so they knew that the place was full of superstition. They went in the local newspapers. I'm going to read directly from email, trying to find some more about the case. Sadly, they had to inform us that everything was true. And the police explained the case by saying

the following. This lady was accused of being a witch just because three girls of about 18-year-old told their parents that this witch appeared to them in their dreams. Fucking dream crimes. Dude, fuck, man. Dream crimes. That is outstanding. I mean, do they kill all the people the boys have wet dreams about too?

I was going to say the same thing. Like everybody's an adulterer. Yeah. Like everybody. You like wake up. You're like, oh, no. Oh, this is not going to go well. Yeah.

The 363rd night in a row. They're going to find out about this. Yeah. find out about this. So this week, it's a relatively short show this week and we are probably going to do another short show next week because I'm going to be out of town again.

We're a little late this week. We should be publishing again, we hope, on Monday next week and we're going to be jumping back into a normal schedule. So as usual, we're going to leave you with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue.

It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead pan dead pan sales pitch late night info doc attainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides.

Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. We'll see you next time. you