Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 658: Boop Your Nose

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

Show Notes  

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence

to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 658 of Cognitive Dissonance and Cecil. Yeah. This is a great

day for having dinner with fascists. Has this ever happened to you have you ever been so many times have you ever been to an atheist convention how many times and actually this is a good this is a good lead-in sure how many times have you had dinner and not known if there was a nazi the table. Like a whoopsie Nazi? Yeah. I'm like, surprise Nazis. He like opened the fucking Dutch oven. Whoa. It's really like a German oven.

Oh, wait. A German oven. That's terrible. We can't talk about that. No, fucking, okay. Hold on, though. We're talking about Kanye. We're talking about Nick Fuentes.

We're talking about Trump. They got together about Nick Fuentes. We're talking about Trump. They got together, and the guy who put them all together is Milo Yiannopoulos. Because he's Kanye's dude. He's Kanye's, like, what is, like, his aide or something for his campaign, whatever it is. Is there? He's his fucking trolling chief.

That's what he is. You couldn't string together a crazier sentence than that. Tom, though, here's the thing, though. He, like, openly admits that he did it to troll Trump. Like, he openly admits that he went out of his way to put them all in the same room because he knows Trump is so funny. Trump is like a fucking stupid golden retriever.

Like when you pretend to throw the porn star, he's like, and then like runs over and looks under the couch for Stormy Daniels or whatever, and then comes back with $162,000. But seriously, like is there a dumber person than, like he feels like,

he feels like he would 100% fall for three card Monty every time it's presented. Every single time. Every time it's presented. Every single time. He had the nuke codes, man. I know. Dude, he is a guy who seriously,

like stain on your shirt, boop your nose. Boop your nose? You could do that for six stain on your shirt, boop your nose. Boop your nose? You could do that for six hours straight. Boop his nose. Literally unlimited amounts of boops. He would have a chafed raw nose from the boops. You could break your finger. It'd be like a repetitive stress injury on your finger from booping his nose.

What the fuck? This is, there's a part of me that, I mean, I hate Milo Yiannopoulos, but there's a part of me that's just like, Bravo. Well done, sir. Good. Well done. Good. Well done. Because you cannot fill a clown car

more fully full of like enormous egos and fucking giant assholes and for Milo to be like, you know, it'd be reallyo to be like, it would be really funny. It would be really funny. Think about this. He had what could have been

probably the most powerful position in our country. He had the most powerful position in our country for four straight years. Those people, when you're now running for it again, you would think that you would be insulated in some way by people who would say,

we know who Nick Fuentes is. I know who Nick Fuentes is. I'm just a joker. That's the part where I don't actually believe this. Like, I didn't know bullshit. I don't for a fucking second believe that Trump is surprised by a dinner guest. At his level, I'm not surprised. Cecil, I don't get surprised by a dinner guest.

I feel like we ascribe a normal level of intelligence to him, and I just don't feel like he's earned it. I don't feel like— Can you and I go get dinner with Trump then? Is there a way? Is there a door that could be open? Now, yes, yes, there is. We'd have to befriend like Stephen Crowder or something.

We would have to befriend one of these talking yahoos on the other side. One of these right-wing fucking shitbags. And he got in because he was with Kanye. That's how he got in. Again, like, I just, I'm hearing the words. But even letting Kanye in though, Tom, like, Kanye just had like this, where he's quoting the black Israelites who are

like really, really, really hyper, hyper anti-Semitic. And he's quoting them and he's talking about, and now he's, I mean, today on Alex Jones, he talked about how great he's, I mean, today on Alex Jones, he talked about how great Hitler was. I mean, the guy is clearly, there's something wrong with him,

but even still, he was an absolute toxic cesspit that you would steer as far away from if you had a single fucking brain cell bouncing around in your head like the last asteroid in Afterworld. Seriously, man. I know. Like, there is no world.

First of all, but I'm going to back up because I want to say something of substance. But before I do that, imagine, Cecil, just do me a favor. Get in your mind, and in your mind, get in a time machine, and let's go back to, let's say, 2007. Okay. Okay, 2007. In your mind let's say 2007. Okay. Okay. 2007. Your mind is 2007. 2007. And here's a sentence I'm going to say, and imagine, I don't want to go back. Imagine hearing this sentence in 2007. I want to stay here. Hey man, remember when Donald Trump had dinner with Kanye West, and Kanye West was a rabid anti-Semite, and then Kanye's dinner guest was an actual Nazi.

Yeah. That sentence alone should be impossible. Yeah, man. Nobody should be able to. Yeah, man. You wouldn't believe that. In 2000, you wouldn't even be like, you'd be like, the guy from The Apprentice?

I feel like our entire universe. Had dinner with a rapper and a Nazi? This feels like a setup. The universe needs to wink out of existence after you say that. I feel like our universe should cringe itself out of existence. It should cringe so hard that it just winks itself back out of existence. I feel like when Trump and Kanye West and a Nazi walk into a bar. That's a setup. That's a setup for a joke.

That's not a bar or an airplane. I don't want to hear the rest of that. That's it? I don't want to hear the rest of it. The fact that this is now serious politician stuff, like Kanye West ran for president under the birthday party. That's a real thing that just happened. He was on ballots. You could people,

you could get your pencil and you could fill it in Illinois. Yes. I, so there's just like a world where I can't, I can't even have Illinois to get like, you got to stand out front of like two jewels. A jewel is a supermarket here in Illinois. And you stand there and like you stand there for a half an hour and enough Nazis walk by in Illinois where you're fine. But like I don't actually believe. Jesus fucking Christ, man. I have a very hard time believing that at Donald Trump's level that he's having dinner with people unknowingly. You know, I feel like and i'm probably gonna catch some hell from this by saying it i don't know that he has the level of intellect to

stop it nor does he as he has he kept anyone around him that could notice or smell something's off now that's true so i feel and i know people are gonna be like they want to ascribe malice to it but i'm gonna tell you him being ignorant of this is just as bad as malice it is it is just as bad if not worse because that means that people can absolutely get one over on him he's not just being bad he's so stupid he can be manipulated to be bad without any fucking, by Milo Yiannopoulos, man. Thank you. Thank you. Let's assume the best case scenario. The best case scenario is I was tricked by the best.

Like, I was tricked. I was beaten by fucking A, man. He was tricked by Milo Yiannopoulos. So now I'm going to be like, okay, cool. So fucking Milo, a washed up nobody garbage troll has been, fucking got one over on you. And you want the new codes that I don't think, and I'm supposed to think that China can't get one over on you? Oh, I know.

Everybody got one over on him. Russia can't get one over on you? I mean, this is a guy who had a meeting with Putin and was like, I don't think he'd lie to me. Yes, I know. I looked into his eyes. I looked into into his eyes i know when people are lying i got a very beautiful letter from kim jong-il gb agents are lying because they're not trained at all and i'm a businessman uh i make a lot of deals big deals small deals all the deals art of the deal tiny

hands jesus christ the fuck out it's so cringe. And the thing is, is like, we covered Kanye. We didn't cover Kanye. We covered Nick Fuentes last week. Yeah, we did. And Nick Fuentes is a fucking train wreck of a human being. He's horrible. He's a disgusting, shitty Nazi. He's a fucking Nazi, man. Yeah.

There's no like, he's kind of a white nationalist or something. No, he's not Nazi adjacent. Yeah, he's like, no, man, I'm going to talk about Nazi symbolism. He's got a closet full of brown shirts. Yeah. Like he's a fucking Nazi. 100% a Nazi, this guy.

Like he's a guy who is pro-Nazi. Illinois Nazi, too, found out today. He's from Cicero. Is he really? Illinois Nazi. Illinois Nazi. Fuck. Illinois Nazi. He's less thanicero. Is he really? Illinois Nazi. Illinois Nazi. Fuck. Illinois Nazi.

He's less than what? 30 miles away from here? Oh yeah. Cicero? Yeah. Cicero's close. Oh yeah. 30 miles away.

Easy. Oh. Incidentally. 30 miles from here. Nerdy real estate thing. The worst city in Illinois to buy and sell property is in Cicero.

They have the most labyrinthine system because they have had corrupt government for so long. Oh yeah, no, they had a terrible government forever. It is the worst city by far, the worst, most like complicated and bureaucratic city to buy and sell property. I'll tell you, man.

Horrible. Who would want to buy next to a Nazi? That's all I'm saying. You don't want to move in and be like, wow, we really picked the wrong, we should have looked at the flags. We weren't paying attention. There's petunias in the backyard.

Nazis all out front. Wow. It's crazy. The Nazi flag, then there's the Trump flag right below it. Same flag. You know what? What's the difference? I am blown away that we live in a world where that guy was president and he's so easy to trick.

I'm blown away that we live in a world where that guy was president and then this shit continues to happen and he's still a serious contender. That is, that is sycophants are like, yeah, whatever.

Who cares? Doesn't matter. He got together with a fucking Nazi and an anti-Semite. Well, Milo Yiannopoulos says when they asked him,

they said, why did you do it? Part of it was to troll him, but then the other part was to say, there is a part of your base that Nick Fuentes reaches and you need to,

you need to pay attention to that. I mean, what's Milo's goal in Trump? Well, I think Milo's goal in doing all this, I think, is to knock Trump down to bring Kanye up. But Kanye, nobody's—no serious—I mean, I can't imagine a serious person. Although I can't imagine a serious person voting for Trump either, though, man. All right, full stop, no. Okay, alright. Full stop. No bullshit. No bullshit. Full stop. If Kanye

West becomes a serious presidential contender, we have to leave. I'm gonna... We have to get our families out of America. I'm literally gonna do what they... what, like, people in other countries do here. I will become a refugee. Yeah, we gotta... I'll walk. I'll walk. I wanna be here. Just... I a refugee. Yeah, we got a walk. And I'll just be like, I want to be here.

Just, I'm here. Right. I walk to Australia. Like I'm here now. Let me in. You fucking have to, at some point I was like, you have to take me in.

I'm here. I don't even care if I live in like a tent seat. Look, watch. Crikey. I'm blended right in. I'm one of you now. Like I just, I will 100% leave.

I'll find out anywhere else I can go and I will 100% leave. Yeah, there's no way way there's no way. If we can't leave though, we have that fight with those bulldozers, bulldozers, bulldozer fight to the death. Yes. We're both of us just take each other out and be like, sorry, it's bulldozer fight time. That's it. It's the end of the world. Anyway, that's been the brotherhood pledge for a long time. Here we go. It's like skid steer versus crawler. Here we go. We're doing it. Here we go. It's like skid steer versus crawler. Here we go. We're doing it. Here we go. You know who wins? Both of us. Both of us.

They take my fucking corpse and Trump has dinner with it. And here she goes. Up into the air she goes. I love it. Ah! Good lord! That is a lot of Up into the air she jumps. I love it. Good Lord.

That is a lot of water. Wow. God. I really got doused there. But you know what? It's okay, guys. It's only water. By the way, I should warn those of you in the splash zone not to breathe too much of the sea mist that Mandy kicks up.

It's loaded with bacteria. So big news today. The Senate, the House and Senate now have both passed legislation protecting the right of all people to marry. What a very nice surprise to have happen in a system right now that you would figure that would not get a lot of traction. I have to think that to some degree, this does throw some water on some of the groomer bullshit,

a little bit at least of the groomer bullshit. I hope it does, man. I hope it does. Or at least maybe it reflects a reality that that groomer bullshit is fringe. It's the fringe lunatics that are the fucking loudest. It's the Ted Cruz's and the Abbott's and the DeSantis. And I know that they're establishment, but they're kind of establishment fringe. Yeah.

But the problem is, is that they're not, they'll never, you'll never convince somebody who's not fringe to do something violent by talking about anything else. It's all, you're only getting, so the fringe will infect the fringe. Absolutely. Yeah. And so, yeah, it's dangerous when the fringe is like this.

We need to shove that Overton window over. So this kind of talk is hate speech. Because it is hate speech. Because it is hate speech. Because, but it's not considered hate speech right now. Right. Even though it should be.

Yes. It needs to be fucking labeled and pointed at for exactly what it is. Absolutely. Yeah. You're not wrong at all. You're not wrong at all. So, but the, uh, the fucking right is losing its mind. Marco Rubio lashes out against passage of same sex marriage bill after his attempt to create special religious rights fails. So I want to read apart from this bill. Can I just

say for the people watching, I know you can't see this, but for the people who are listening, just imagine Marco Rubio's face. That's all you have to do for 10 seconds. Does this man, Tom, look like he's ever been happy a second in his life? Like a moment, like even a passing moment in his life does he look like he's been happy? He does. When he held his precious. When he held his precious. He looks like such a shitty, awful person.

He does. Because that exudes no matter what you do, this jackass who likes to hurt other people and likes to relish in his religion hurting other people. Because that's what this is all about. That's what he's following. So I'll find what you need here. He also looks weirdly wet all the time.

He does. He looks, yeah, he looks like he was, yeah. Yeah, he looks like dipped in vegetable oil. Like, like, like he just got thrown up by Cthulhu or something. You know, like he was down in the bottom of the ocean with him and like. Yeah, like if a fucking hairball of a fucking monster from hell. It's a monster. Yeah.

It's a hairball. It's a monster too. It's a Rubio. It's a small. All right, so there's a part of this, though, that I want to read because it's already in there. So the bill goes to great lengths. It's from the article from the newcivilrightsmovement.com.

The bill goes to great lengths to state that it will have no impact on current religious liberty protections. Section 6 is actually titled No Impact on Religious Liberty and Conscience. And here's what it says. Nothing in this act or any amendment made by this act shall be construed to diminish or abrogate a religious liberty or conscience protection otherwise available to an individual or organization under the Constitution of the United States or federal law. And then it goes on. under the Constitution of the United States or federal law.

And then it goes on. Consistent with the First Amendment to the Constitution, nonprofit religious organizations, including churches, mosques, and synagogues. Wait a second. Temples. Dragons. Giant worms. Wow. They really were.

Wow. They went, including churches, mosques, synagogues, temples. Non-denominational ministries. Okay, fine. I'll allow it. I'll allow it. Interdenominational. Interdimensional. What? Planetary. I'll allow it. Interdenominational. Interdimensional what?

Planetary. And ecumenical organizations. Mission organizations. Faith-based social agencies. Religious educational institutions. Nonprofit entities whose principal purpose is to study, practice, or advancement of religion. And any employee of any such organization shall not be required to provide services, accommodations, advantages, facilities, goods, or privileges

for the solemnization or celebration of a marriage. Any refusal under this subsection to provide such services, accommodations, advantages, facilities, goods, or privileges shall not create any civil claim or cause of action. So the religious are already protected. Yep. They're already so,

they've already got their fucking carve out for their bigotry. Absolutely, man. That we have already caved to their bigotry. That's how it was before too. Right. That's how it was before. You know, you could be somebody who could refuse to marry somebody. And to be honest, you know, I don't know the major dangers that you were in. I'm sure there was going to be some corner cases where someone was going to come to you and say, I want you to marry me. And you're part of that church. And they say, well, we don't do that because we don't, we hate gay people and we're awful. And they say, but we're awful kind of too, because we're still part of this religion. We really want you to marry us. And so there might

be a fight, corner case style, but you know, like if you're just some person who's not super into religion, or even if it's just mildly religious and then you go to the people, the pastor and you say, I want to get married and they say, sorry, we're awful. And you'd be like, oh, you're right. My bad. And then you'd go somewhere else. And

in this case, they're enshrining the fact that everyone will have the right to do that. And there's not going to be any kind of civil recourse. You can't come after them. You can't do it. And I'm fine with that, to be honest. I'm okay with it.

I don't want to force people to marry people or whatever. Like, do what you got to do. You know what I mean? Do what you got to do. I couldn't go get married in the Catholic church. I'm not Catholic. Yeah, and they're very strict about that stuff. I wasn't Catholic either,

but you still have to, like, go to class and, like, take an aptitude test and, like, hang out with a couple and a priest for a while. It's weird. about that stuff. So I wasn't Catholic either, but you still have to like go to class and like take an aptitude test and like hang out with a couple and a priest for a while. It's weird. Yeah, it's super weird.

You got to do that whole like pre-Cana and all that. It's like a whole thing. Yeah. So like I get it and I don't, I'm to the same degree. Like I don't want to force

a religious institution to have to like perform a ceremony in their religion that they don't want to perform. Sure. Fine. I'll go get my magic spells

somewhere else. Yeah, man. I don't care. I'll go get fucking married where it counts, which is in the fucking courthouse. That's the only thing that counts is the paperwork.

It doesn't matter. You go to a fucking church and say your fucking magic words. None of that's real. That's all nonsense. What's real is that those same people have been authorized to sign the fucking paper

that the government cares about. That's it. It's the paperwork the government cares about that actually makes you married. If you go to church and don't do the government part, you're not married. Yeah, and I- You're fucking pretenses married.

I know that people send us messages every time I mention this, but I really wish that the government would just get out of the marriage or the government would be the only way that you get married. The rest of it is all just fluff. Right. You know what I mean? Like the government is the way you get married, period. Anything else is just extra. So it's just like, whatever. And then just, you know, like we, like most people are starting to call people partner instead of wife or husband, just change it to union.

So everybody gets a union. Everybody gets a union. Nobody gets a marriage. Marriage is not a thing. It doesn't matter. You can call yourself whatever you want. But the thing you get from the government is a union, period. And you get a union with your partner, period.

And nobody gets to decide what those two things are right that's between you and the person who you're with and i know that everybody says that's that's what the religious people want is to diminish other people's marriages and i'm saying diminish all yeah just do all the whole slate everybody mine that that was had in a church is now a union just like everybody else. Everybody gets a union. We all go to the union level, period, and that's where it's at. Because I think then they can't argue anymore because then they're going to be like, what? I want this holy governmental union.

Right. And you'd be like, well, fuck you. There's no such thing. Go to your church if you want something holy. You can just go there and do that. Go do it in front of your friends or go do it in front of your family or go do it in front of your church or go do it on a mountain or whatever you want to do. Whatever makes you happy. Or don't do anything at all.

You already did the paperwork. Right. You don't need to do anything. The paperwork should be separate. Yeah. That's what I think. And that's the legal part. The paperwork is the legal part.

That's the real part. That's the real part this the paperwork is illegal that's the real that's the real part the magic words are just the magic words the real part anyway they just wait for you to have you sign it afterwards yep in front of it but you can go sign it in front of any notary yeah you don't need it you don't need a person of fucking like authority to like no like tie your hands together or, fucking make you step on a glass that's in a napkin. It's like as far as I'm aware, it's the only contract that requires some specially authorized third party. You know, like because you have to be ordained in order to be like allowed to perform certain. ordained in order to be like allowed to perform certain. So like if I wanted to like go marry people, I would have to go on the internet and get the church of the flying spaghetti

monster fucking ordained or whatever. You'd have to be a celebrant of some kind. An officiant or a celebrant. Right. That's the only contract I'm aware of that requires a third party to weigh in on your cut. So just eliminate that part. I can enter into any other binding permanent contract.

As long as you're 18 or whatever. Just get a notary, like you said, to establish ID. Maybe we should do that too, guys. Maybe 18, yeah, that'd be good. Maybe 18 would be okay. Right? None of these fucking child marriages that the religious want. Maybe we shouldn't be able to pawn our children off at nine or whatever. Oh, I sold my daughter to a rapist,

but, you know, Jesus loved it. Yeah, Jesus and stuff. Anyway. Alright. Cool and stuff. Anyway. All right. Cool, cool. So who else is freaking out? More conservatives having a bad day. This is from LGBTQ Nation.

So, again, the conservatives are just absolutely losing their mind. Even though, just to be fair about it, I think it was 12 conservatives crossed over. I think the vote was 62. Yeah, it was big. It was big. Yeah, so kudos that actually something got done through a proper legislative channel.

Manchin probably voted it down, though. Piece of shit that he is. So, yeah, I'm sure Manchin's a fucking piece of trash. I hope he gets hit by every bus. Every single bus that's ever been made. Every time they point the camera

to him on C-SPAN, he's just fucking the Constitution. Like, slow, like, hard eye contact with the camera. I fucking hate that.an he's just fucking the constitution like slow like hard eye contact with the camera i can hate i genuinely i hate piece of trash i hate that i hate that guy too i hope he gets black i want to get this i want a fist fight with in minecraft in mine all of this is in minecraft is that how you say it anyway so tony tony perkins uh president of the anti-lgbtq hate group uh family research council we've talked about him in the past.

God, that guy's such a piece of shit. He said that the 12 Republicans who voted for the bill are literally putting a target on their base and driving them out of political engagement. This bill is a club with which the left will attempt to beat people of Orthodox faith who believe in marriages God designed it and history has defined into submission how they always make these claims right oh my my marriage isn't gonna make how how how how literally how nothing has ever happened action anyone else can perform that would change my love for my wife right there's anyone else can perform outside of our marriage. Right. It's just,

it's literally impossible for it to happen. Right. Unless that action is blow up the world or something. You know what I mean? Like,

yeah. Thank you. But, you know, when somebody else gets married across the world, one, why should I know?

Right. Two, why should I care? Three, if that affects your marriage, maybe go seek therapy. Yeah, well, you know, I was thinking as you were saying that, do they think of marriage as a club and they don't want the wrong members in their club?

Oh, I see. And if so, that's not what marriage is, you stupid assholes. Yeah, right? Like you didn't, when I stood in front of my wife and I said my vows to her, they were promises specific to one person only. And when she said her, it wasn't like we didn't have a fucking secret handshake and get like led around back and it was skull and key or whatever. And then like George Bush was there. None of that.

It's not a club. I'm not like, there's no secret handshake with all the other married people that you learn once you become, you're not like akin to the other married folks. It doesn't cheapen my vows that somebody I don't like or respect

in any other respect, right? So like take the LGBTQ issue out of it. If my fucking, if Tony Perkins gets married, I think he's human trash. Sure. My marriage is not lessened by knowledge that

he also is married. Yeah. I don't look over and be like, well, that lessens my love for my wife and my vows are no longer sacrosanct to me and to my spouse because Tony Perkins is also got a marriage. Right, right. What the fuck?

Because my brain isn't a piece of shit. That's why I don't think like that. Although to be honest, I am kind of embarrassed that he's married too, if I am. If I'm honest. If I'm honest, I'm a little embarrassed. Yeah, no, he's a fucking piece of trash. And these people do this all the time because what they want to do is say that their God is universal and therefore their union is universal. And therefore, if you do anything that changes that, you're fighting their God because they can't look at the world in any way that takes their God out of it. Right?

So they can't look at the – everybody has to give the same amount of respect to my God, period. And so if you don't. Yeah, because my God is small and easily butthurt. Exactly, because my God is so fucking weak, he needs your approval all the time or whatever. It's like, it's a crazy thing to think, but that's what they think.

And so when you do things that are outside of their religion, outside of their norms, outside of their morals, they then think of that as an affront to them and their religion, even though it has nothing to do with them. And I cannot,

for the life of me, figure out how they fucking tricked the Libertarian Party in this country to be part of that, to fucking, I mean, they're essentially,

they're married at this point yes right yes to this ideology what the fuck is happening if if if anything if anybody on my side said something as horrible as this like i would be like denounced i'm done with you i'll never do this again i don't care how fiscally conservative i am right what i don't understand at this point if you're fiscally conservative why the fuck you. I don't understand at this point if you're fiscally conservative, why the fuck you're a Republican? Yeah, no. Are you serious?

Yeah. Like the biggest expenditures of American capital over the past four decades have been exclusively in wars. It doesn't make sense, but- But the Republicans always are the hawks. But they've got great PR

to make them look like they're the party of whatever. And they've done that for years. They're the party of patriotism. They're the party of common sense. They're the party of whatever. And they've, they've done that for years. They're the party of patriotism. They're the party of common sense. They're the party of none of those things are the party of small government. You're not the party, any of the party of fiscal conservative.

And it's all bullshit. None of it's real. None of it's true. You know, I mean, party of fucking patriotism. You're just like, yeah,

the last president was just like bending over Lady Liberty the whole time. The party of patriotism where it's like, yeah, we made fucking super best friends with all the world's most horrifying dictators and then encouraged a literal coup. How can you be patriotic? And the previous guy is having dinner with Nazis right now. Super patriot. If that's what stirs your patriotism, fucking roll your Lee Greenwood song up your ass. Dan, you ready for Netflix and chill?

Gary, stop calling it that. It means something else. What? Just two bros chilling, watching movies, nothing untoward? Uh-huh. Okay, want to watch the preview? What is it?

I don't know, but it'll get us in the Christmas spirit. Fine. In the role of a lifetime, Ian and Gary in Keep That Ass in Christmas. Gary, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. How do I take it to the next level with my big city girlfriend who has two cell phones because they're so busy and have dark hair and work as a lawyer or architect or politician or something?

Have you gloried them yet? What's that? Well, there is this ancient prophecy of a code glory that when used unlocks untold pleasure. But where can I find such a code? No, the code is glory. Oh, but where can I find such a code? No, the code is glory. Oh, but where can I use such a code? That's what we'll find out

together. Montage! This holiday season follow the story of two friends as they discover the reason for the pleasing. Okay, let's think about how this code glory works, Ian. Yeah, we should, but first I'll have to travel to my hometown to get back to my roots and better understand how code glory can works, Ian. Yeah, we should, but first, I'll have to travel to my hometown

to get back to my roots and better understand how code glory can work for me. Oh, and I'll likely run into my hometown girlfriend that I haven't seen since after the big game. What? No, we don't have the budget for, I mean, the time for all of that. Just try and use the code on something. Use the code on something.

Okay. Is it an anagram? Like Y-Lorg? Or Rolly G? No, literally just use the code. Type it into something. Aha. Maybe a website. Um, Fortnite. No.

Uh, Christian Farmers only? No. Applebee's. The secret to your sex life is at an Applebee's? Well, it's a discounted Bloomin' Onion. Like 50% off a Bloomin' Onion? I don't know how much.

Wait, wait. A Bloomin' Onion, that's Outback. So Outback, let's go. No, Ian, it's a website. Outback is a website? No, that's a place. Oh, it's a website. Outback is a website? No, that's a place. Oh, it's a place. I get it.

Get in the car, Gary. Nope. Two friends on a journey to discover salvation and save-vation. Where are we going, Ian? In order to use the code, we have to know what this code is for. Okay, sure, but what are we?

I know a place with a code. Get in! I'm all- Adjourn and we'll take them to the A's of the earth. Jesus, what the fuck, Ian? Quick, Gary, grab the papers! Where are we, Ian? No time, I've gotta check the codes!

Wait, wait, I know this place. Is this Mar-a-Lago? Shit, Glory isn't one of the nuclear codes to Sweden. Apparently it's Man-Slam and Kuk. I don't... Who knows? Hey, Ian, look what I found. Six movies of a particularly spicy flavor. You see what you're getting at? That's cool, Gary.

It's not... Shit. Gary, jump in! No, not this again. Teleportation, go! A journey to confront their past and the beginning of it all. Fuck you. Where are we now?

Hold on, Gary. I gotta plug these guys back in and put in this code. Hold on. Wait. Is that us in a snow globe? Uh, no. Probably not. I don't know.

Shit, this isn't the code either. We gotta go further back. Here, bite this. Shit, this isn't the code either. We gotta go further back. Here, bite this. No, not another trans-dimensional biscuit. It's the only way. Oh, so you're saying this will ship me to another location for free. Like a free shipping kind of thing. I mean, I guess you could say that.

So here, eat it! No, no, no, wait! Two friends, one auspicious night. Wait, what the fuck? Why are we dressed like this? Don't worry, Gary, just follow the star. Follow the star? Where? Right here. Hold on. Hi, excuse me,

miss? Yeah, so sorry to bother you. Do you mind if I ask the child something? Oh, sorry. Hey, baby, Do you mind if I ask the child something? Ian, it's a baby. Oh, sorry. Hey, baby, do you mind if I ask the child something? Yeah. Thanks. Hey, kid, does glory mean

anything to you? Ian, it's a baby. No, it knows something. Look at its eyes. Ian, stop. Sorry, ma'am. By the way, we brought these three free... Ian, come on. What? Three free gifts. A gift

for you, a gift for them, and one you can all enjoy. Right? Ian? I guess whatever. We gotta go. Okay, but the three free gifts is important. Now fuck this. This was a bust. We out. God damn it.

Sorry, not you. Friends helping friends. Finding out the original meaning of it all. Fuck, okay, where are we now? Wait, that's not the... Yep, the Garden of Eden. Uh, hello? Uh, hello?

Uh, what's the code word? Glory. G-L-O-R-Y. Glory. I fucking knew it! Oh, hey, guys. Hey, Adam. Where's Steve?

He's over there collecting some, uh, herbs. Dope. Yeah. Yo, keep on the DL. Hey, you're just in time. Eve's over there collecting some herbs. Dope. Yeah. Hey, you're just in time. Eve is going to make a fruit tart if you want to help. Hey, Eve. Oh, hey, guys. Can you help me with these? Hey, girl. I got you. Here you go, Eve.

When you eat it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like, I'm not doing good and evil. Very funny, Gary. That was worth a shot. Wait, is this an apple? Nobody knows. Maybe a pomegranate or a kumquat. A kumquat. A kumquat, Gary!

Yes, Ian? And if you... Right? You want... Gary! Yes, Ian? And if you... Right? You want... Want a what, Ian? You want a kumquat! Yes! A journey to find out...

That's a fucking voiceover, Eve, getting it! I'm sorry. And if you want a kumquat, go to adamandeve.com and use code GLORY. And when you do, tell them, Eve. Oh, you get 50% off almost any one item right adam honey plus the three furry gifts one for you one for them and one for all of us right steve yeah don't forget the six free spicy movies man free shipping oh yeah jenny said the free shipping all with code glory. All with code glory at adamandeve.com. And that's how Gary and Ian put the ass back in Christmas.

So what do you think? You want to watch it? Okay, Gary, was this some AI-generated nightmare? No, completely original. That's not, okay, first off, the preview gave away the entire movie. Second off, why are our names in it? And thirdly, seemed like a long contrived way of delivering this glory code.

Netflix is just printing money with these movies. You can literally send them any script and they'll do it. Yeah, no, skip. Okay, okay. Look, we can watch something else. How about Santa Claus is Coming for Christmas? That looks good. No, that's just another ad, Gary.

Let's just watch the preview. No, Gary. A classic retelling of a holiday favorite featuring two giggly men and two penises adorned with two Santa hats. It's the story penis puppetry was created to tell. Oh, my God. I recognize them. Wait. You've seen them.

No, the voices, Gary. Turn it off. Turn it off. turn it off! Okay, Merry Christmas, everyone! Gary, stop, it's still on the screen! Okay, now we gotta do one for Hanukkah. No, Gary, they've been through enough. Say goodbye, Gary.

Who's Gary? Very cute. Yes, I am. You got a job, buddy, what do you do? I work at Apple. You got a job, buddy? What do you do? I work at Apple. You work at Apple? Oh, let's get this fucking piece of shit out of here.

Hold him down. Let's make him give us some stock. This story comes from The Guardian. I live in Texas. Herschel Walker's speech adds to Georgia Senate-run problems. It's looking bad for him. Hopefully, fingers crossed. Go vote if you're in Georgia.

If you're not in Georgia, pitch a couple dollars at Warnock's campaign. When is the election final? It's next Tuesday, I think. Is that okay? It's close. It's near. It's in like a week. And the good

thing is that there's been a huge early turnout, which should be bad for Herschel Walker, but don't ride that. Don't be complacent. You don't want to like accidentally have Herschel Walker. Herschel, this man is horrible and he's fucking stupid and he's

terribly unqualified. He's frighteningly unqualified. I want to read from this article some of the crazy shit that he says. So this is stemming from a re-release of some information that came out. He lives in Texas. That is where his home is. And that is where he claims a homestead exemption on his property taxes. Now you get a homestead exemption for only one piece of property you own.

And you get that exemption because you say, I fucking live here. So if I own six places, I only get the homestead exemption on the one that is my homestead. Yeah, right. He's not running in Texas.

He's running in Georgia because he's a bullshit garbage candidate drummed up just to be a black guy to run against a black guy in the most cynical possible play that the Republicans could come up with. Horrifyingly cynical. He's a placeholder garbage candidate for the Republicans to say, like, we got a black guy, too. It's horrifying. That's really what it is.

So here's what he said. So here's what he said. Everyone asks me, why did I decide to run for a Senate seat? Because to be honest with you, this is never something I ever, ever, ever thought about I ever did. And that's the honest truth. But as I was sitting in my home in Texas, I was sitting in my home in Texas, and I was seeing what was going on in this country. I was seeing what was going on in this country

with how they were trying to divide people. Seems pretty straightforward. He's just a fucking cynical transplant candidate. And that's what they tried to do with Oz, right? So Oz was 100% fucking from New Jersey. Like he fucking exists. Like you cut him, he bleeds New Jersey pipeline or turnpike or whatever.

He's gross. And you know he's from New Jersey. He smells like refinery. Because he's gross. Because he's disgusting and gross and just smells way too much like baby oil and cocoa butter. And Eli Bosnick. Vegan meatloaf.

He just smells disgusting. No, he's just like, he's fucking obvious, right? You look at him, you're like, you're not from Pennsylvania. You never fucking stopped foot here. Yeah, sure, you own a house there, but you're a millionaire. You can own a house anywhere. It doesn't even matter. You own a house overnight and then sell it the next day. It literally doesn't matter to you. So this guy has been Texas. And it's not that he can't be

a guy who runs in Georgia and be from Texas and have a home in Texas. It's that he claimed it on his property taxes. And if he's going to be running as a person who's supposed to be living in another state, that's a real problem. Now, is it that if he gets elected, he has to move there? Is that how that works? The way I read it earlier, from the U.S. Constitution says

senators must be 30 years old, a citizen for nine years, and shall, when elected, be an inhabitant of that state for which he or she, well, it doesn't say she, but from where they're chosen from. So I don't think he has to be right now.

Yeah, but when he's elected, he would have to be. So I don't think he has to be right now. But when he's elected, he would have to be. I don't know how when elected is defined. Is it defined by the date of the election? Is it a primary? When he gets primaried in, is that the election that they're talking about? But clearly the intention

is that you're voting for somebody from your state to represent your state. And that's why every senator goes out and plays the down home on one of you guys. And why have states anyway if that's not good? I know. Why even do it if it's not going to be the homer from your state?

Like, it doesn't even make any sense. Like, the fucking Senate doesn't make sense already. Like, it already doesn't make any sense. Like, we don't make decisions like this. No. We don't make decisions because this no we don't make decisions because one state wants something over another state we shouldn't anyway i know we do but we shouldn't right because it's fucking stupid because there's a bunch of people down there

and there's a bunch of people up here maybe that shit made a lot of sense back when you had took like 25 days to get to the state line but it takes like seconds for information to get there now. So when somebody in Tennessee or somebody in Mississippi, we all think that abortion is okay and there's a bunch of people who don't, we should just vote on that. All of us just make a decision. Not just the people in this little sector of the area.

Like we're a country. Either we're a country or not a country. And I, I hate the states rights people. It's like, yeah. The reason why we did all that state stuff is because we wanted to keep owning slaves.

It's all based in slavery. Anyway. Yep. The whole emphasis on states rights is because we were a barely stitched together nation. We, there were no, because we were a barely stitched together nation.

And we continue 200 plus years later to be a barely stitched together, hardly cohesive, culturally fragmented, trash nation. We're a fucking raggedy and doll of a country. Like we're stitched together at the seams and we're bursting all the time. And I think the way to try to placate that rather than try to have

some kind of sense of real national unity and real national pride, the way to placate the fucking local, regional, parochial crybaby bullshitters is to give them their state's rights trash. And to some degree, I think states should decide on their local decisions. When we're talking about issues of broad social policy, broad economic policy, foreign policy, obviously, get the fuck out of here. The fuck actually out of here. Abolish the Senate entirely. Yeah, get rid of it.

That's a trash institution. What the fuck good does it do? It literally represents land. That's it. That's it. Because there's no fucking way that rhode island or wyoming or and i'm using rhode island here they probably have more fucking people and they have more people in my own wyoming and montana but but those those states that have nobody

in them yeah they just have a bunch of fucking area they have the same amount of senators as fucking california yeah or makes no sense. Or Illinois or Florida. Or Texas. Or Texas. They have the same fucking number. It's stupid. It is stupid. It's a dumb system.

Because that, because a guy like fucking Joe Manchin from a state like West Virginia can cock block the will of 320, there's a what, 327 million Americans, something like that. 300 plus million. Yeah. So he's cock blocking the will of hundreds of millions of people. Yeah, they probably don't even have a million people. For the niche interests of his state. They probably don't even have a million people in his state.

Get the fuck out of here. He's representing, you know, one 300th of the country, and he gets to make that decision. And it's nonsense. It's fucking nonsense. If you're one 300th and you're making that decision. And it's nonsense. It's fucking nonsense. If you're 1,300th and you're making that decision, you've got to kick a guy down a well. That's how it works.

You've got to kick the guy, and he falls down the well. I wish that was our solution. I wish I could kick Joe Manchin down a well. In Minecraft. In Minecraft. I'd build the well, and I'd kick him down it. And fill it with lava. Fill it with lava, yeah.

West Virginia is lava seriously though it's it's a it's a dumb system but but even if even if we consider the system you will and and let's just say we're like okay fine we have what we have then why do you want a guy from out of your out of your state right why do you want a dude who's not even from here? Even in your shitty system, he's outside of your system. The thing is, the power of the Senate is disproportionately

over large. You should want somebody that is actually from your fucking state to wield that disproportionately over large parochial community-based power. But again, it's the most cynical fucking thing. It is.

Herschel Walker is just the most grotesque, cynical, disgusting thing that the Republicans have done in so long. It's the most horrible mirror you could hold up to our society. Yes. You know what I mean? It's like one of those things you look at and you think, God, are we really that gross? And then you realize, yeah, we're that fucking gross, man.

Yeah, we are. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we're that gross. Yep. Mr. Beast. How's it going, man? Hi, my name's Hugh Montgomery. I'm with the IRS.

Fuck. Fuck. Do you have a couple of minutes, sir? No, I don't. Good. Hey, I need my lawyer. This story comes from CNBC. Cecil, this is good news.

IRS gives Trump tax returns to House committee after a three-year-long battle. Is there going to be anything that can happen between now and... I think you could fuck him for his re-election campaign. I heard an interesting idea. You take the House as it is now, and you create a law, and that law is that someone has to give their tax returns over. Because if they don't, what you have is what happened with Trump.

And you use his tax returns as one of the notes or whatever in the law, like one of the footnotes. Oh, in order to make them public? And then you send it to the Senate, and then it's at the Senate when the new sessiones. Oh, in order to make them public? And then you send it to the Senate, and then it's at the Senate when the new session comes, and then that way they can act on it because they've seen

them. Because right now they're only in the House hands. I don't know how true that could be, but it's nice to think about. It's fun because it's like when you play the lottery. Oh, I think that's great. Yeah, right. You're just dreaming a little. Daydream a little. You're just daydreaming. It would be great if those things wound up in somebody's hands

that could do something about it because he looked everybody in the face on the fucking debate stage and said, although I'm getting audited, I'll do it when I get done. And he never did.

He never did it. He's a fucking liar. And that was in 2015. They had to get taken from him. The thing about that, that was seven years ago. Seven, because it was in 2015, man.

It's 2022. And then his team leaked one of his pages to the times to the times they nobody's told you who did it but his team it had to be it had it because it wasn't damning right it wasn't damning it didn't have anything in it that was damning so stuff that they found afterwards where they've said that he's, you know, he's been basically lying about his loss. Yes. That is pretty damning. That's damning. And I wonder if this is good. Oh, the first leak is when you're talking about the Rachel Maddow had on her show. It was a big fucking nothing. Yeah. But then the subsequent one had a lot more juice. Yeah. And it did. And it was, but nothing came of it, but it was still, it was still like, was still like, but they used like forensic tax stuff

and they had like a bunch of people that understood taxes that came in and did all kinds of crazy. And I think that's what started the investigation now into the way he values his assets. Yeah. Because he undervalues assets when it's convenient and he overvalues assets when it's convenient. Yeah.

And the thing is, is like convenient and he overvalues assets when it's convenient yeah and he he the thing is is like he clearly overvalues assets if he's going to pay stormy daniels 137 000 no you know he and if you want to undervalue your assets you can head over to adamandeve.com at our glory at checkout i i really hope something comes to this though because like we've you know there's been a pushback on the special master that came out today too I don't know if you saw but an appeals court 2-1 said no that essentially

you're trying to rewrite how the Justice Department can serve warrants if you go with the way Trump wants to go with this, because that would basically say that the president is above the law, and they were like, no. Oh, okay. Well, that's good news. So the way that the ruling was worded, at least from the analysis

I saw, was that basically they're saying, look, you can't do that because if you do, then the president has different rules than other people. And that's stupid. So we're not going to do that. And so that's great. Appeals court bounced his, cause I think it went to somebody and then they got it out of there and then it went somewhere else. It's always, there's a million fucking court cases. You don't know where everything is because everybody's suing everybody and they're appealing everything. And you don't know where the,

the situation is on all this stuff. It's just there's so much to know. And it is impossible to keep track of who's got the ball. And then when decisions get made, up until, like, this decision took three years. And that's the point of these decisions. The point is not to win the battle or lose the battle. The point is to prolong the battle long enough that it politically doesn't matter anymore what the outcome is. That's the point of a lot of this courtroom fighting shit. So where this does matter now is, okay, great. Here we are. Motherfucker,

you're running. And now this stuff should be made public. Will this be made public? Will you and I be able to read these tax returns? I hope I, I don't know if they're going to get leaked, but I hope that there's some sort of analysis that comes out because the moment the house gets taken over, they're going to basically like lock these things away and say, oh, we didn't need to see these. That's true. Yeah. The

timing is scary. The timing sucks. Timing sucks. There needs to be something that happens right away. Hopefully they fucking get leaked. Yeah. Hopefully they get leaked because we're at a place with dysfunction in our government, to your point, where just having crucial information about the reality that we live in doesn't mean that we'll be able to act on that information

because we will absolutely bury it. So it's almost like we have to be dysfunctional through these leaks in order for us to function. It's like when somebody keeps using the system wrongly for so long, it feels like you want to go outside of the system. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. You know, there's been so much bad things that have leaked, you know, on the Democrat side, which I'm happy about. You know, like some things that get leaked and you're like, yeah, that guy's trash. Right. Fuck it on. Get out of here.

But man, it sucks that there's not like once in a while some fucking hacker who gets in there and you're just like, yep, this is all these documents. It's all the dirty laundry. Yep. And then you think, oh, man, I really wish there would be somebody who would do that because that would be cool. Russia, if you're listening. Wikileaks. Yeah, right you're listening. WikiLeaks. Yeah, right. Anonymous.

Somebody. Hacker down the street. Ian? Ian's the hacker you get off Wish. When you order Anonymous on Wish. When you order Anonymous on Wish, you get Ian. Marco. Marco. Ian. Marco. Hola.

Marco. Hola. Marco. Hola. Marco. This story comes from Reuters. Suicide bomber attacks Pakistan police guarding polio vaccination team kills four. for. So what sucks about this is the CIA

used the cover of vaccination and fucking poisoned the well with vaccination. And so we were on the verge of eliminating polio. Like, we were so close. I mean, like, it could have been one of those

things like smallpox that just disappeared. We wiped this virus off the face. Instead, it's resurging in places. It's fucking coming back. We almost, like we almost got it, man. We were close. We were so close.

We were close. And then, and what a terrible thing to do to go under the guise of, you know, public health. I know. And then to betray that trust so that now people aren't sure about public health initiatives. Yep. And they,

and they never will be. And now a polio vaccination team that's, that's there to save lives. Yep. You know what I mean? Not only did you fuck shit up before, but like, you're still taking lives. Like these lives, these people that died, they're on the CIA.

That's on the CIA's head. Absolutely. 100%. They're the ones who are responsible for this because they were the ones who did this stupid fucking thing by hiding their espionage bullshit in public health. And that's abhorrent that they did something like that. I get that the CIA has to use clandestine. I'm not a fucking idiot. Like they got to use clandestine measures to accomplish clandestine goals.

I get that. Choose a different thing. Yeah, man. Choose a different thing. Just fucking just a different thing. Not this thing. Yeah, man. Choose a different thing. Just, just fucking, just a different thing. Not this thing. Just, this is not a well we can afford to poison. And they poisoned this well long before like COVID was a thing. This well was poisoned a long time ago. But what makes me crazy is that a, um, an eventuality like COVID, an eventuality like a global pandemic,

has been widely regarded by every expert, period, in national security and in epidemiology, not as something which maybe will happen, but as something which will definitely happen. This is not like, oh, we should be surprised this didn't happen earlier. Even at my work, even at my own work for years before COVID, when I first took over, we have business continuity plans, which are plans for how we continue to maintain business

if there is a fire without interruption in our services to our customers. If there's a fire, if there's flooding, if there's all these things, including flu outbreaks. Because people thought for a long time that flu would be the next global pandemic. And you know what? It might be the next global pandemic. So business leaders have known. Business leaders have known for a long time.

The CIA fucking knows, man. They know. They know. And they're willing to poison this fucking well. They know, and they're willing to poison this fucking well. So like when some kid in fucking upstate New York ends up with goddamn polio in the year 2022, that's on the CIA because we could have eradicated polio. We were so fucking close.

And the people that are there, what does that do for the rest of the medicine? You're saying they're poisoning the well on vaccination, but they're poisoning the well for medicine in general in places like that. I mean, you know, it's harder to do that here in the States because there's a lot of people that'll tell you that, you know, just stop being stupid. But, you know, in a place that's isolated or a place that doesn't have a lot of advanced stuff. You're talking about a place where they necessarily need more chances with healthcare. And if you poison the well in one thing,

how many people are going to reject it outright? And it's just such a sad fucking thing. It's so stupid that they did that. It's so stupid. It's such a bad, short-sighted plan that just feels lazy it just feels like you just felt fucking lazy one day and we're like i don't know man i don't know it's like you have a dartboard in the cia like what do you want to infiltrate who do we use for cover uh let's see by the polio guys polio guys that would do the polio guys realize your dartboard is entire polio

guys do you realize that? Why is that? I just printed it out on one eight and a half by 11. That's fine. Whatever. I started making a different one, and I took a nap. And then I had pizza. And then I didn't care about anybody else in the world because I'm an evil person. You know what I did?

I was up all night torturing people. What do you want from me? What do you want? Waterboarding folks. Fuck. What are you going to do? Cindy, the TV is leaking. people. What do you want from me? Waterboarding folks. What are you going to do? Cindy! The TV's leaking!

Get up, you little ugly bitch! Tom, we both wound up listening to The Daily about the Supreme Court and about the leak. There is a fascinating episode of The Daily that really describes how wildly intentional the campaign was to influence Supreme Court justice opinions on the abortion decision. By this minister who was a rabid anti-abortion, anti-choice minister who too fucking late changed his mind.

But he went through this. What I found fascinating about it was he decided he wanted to influence these Supreme Court justices. And he just executed this plan, this like really Machiavellian kind of like social influence campaign. Right. And he bought or rented or leased or whatever fucking space right near where the justices were.

Because he said, and I thought this was really prescient, he said, I knew proximity was everything. So he knew he had to be there. And he had to just run in those circles and run in those circles and be at the places, go to the events, make friends with them. What struck me is how he got to them. And he tells you, he says, I deferred to them in every moment. So he was always saying, sir, justice or whatever the highest honor, your excellency or whatever the fuck your highest honor can be.

Yeah. He would say that. Chief Dick Gargle, whatever. He would say Mr. Justice or whatever it is. He wouldn't say their name. Right. Because he didn't want them to feel like he wasn't like supplicating or whatever at that time. And he did it with all his staff too.

Yep. In this super out loud and everything intentional planned way. Like this was not like he is a minister who was passionate about something and then happened to become friends with Alito. That's not the thing. No. He set out with a team of other people to infiltrate the social spaces of these justices in order to befriend them,

in order to move their position. Yeah. And he did it. And he did it. And he leaked the original Hobby Lobby decision to donors so he could get more money. And he admitted it in this podcast. He admits that the reason why he did it is because the big donors, once he told them what he was doing was working and showed them that,

he knew he could cash a check. And that's what he did. He just used that as a way to fund his coffers to do more bad shit. And he was rabidly anti-abortion. And what you hear when you hear him talk about it, you hear all those ideas, those bad ideas that those people have, that they're killing babies, et cetera, et cetera. And the reason why he turned around, his moment, his Saul moment, right, knocked off his horse moment, was he was arrested at a protest doing something. And this is a guy who's been protesting for years too.

Been arrested many times. And he also, didn't he try to give Clinton a fetus or something like that? Yeah, he had this stunt where he tried to give. Give Clinton like a four month old fetus or something like that. So he's been doing this for years and he got arrested and got put in jail

and they were out of space in the regular jail. Right. So they had to put him in like a psychiatric ward to hold him until they could release him. And he heard this person in this next room screaming, where are my kids? Where are my kids? Who's taking care of my kids?

Where are my kids? And nobody cared in the jail about this person who had been taken away from their family. And it finally struck him that maybe people that, you know, maybe some people need abortions, that the world is not a smiling picture of happy white families kissing each other. And what, what it's funny though, is like that, that moment also feels really judgy, right? So like, you gotta be real judgy to be a person who's against abortion, right? Because you're now thinking about,

you seem to understand or know all the facets of some other person's life because you're a fucking gross, busy body who has to think about, you know, like really genuinely, it's super judgy, right? To be like, you shouldn't get an abortion. You're not me. You don't know my life.

You don't know anything I'm going through. You don't know anything about my life. Right. But you're going to make this judgment. And the same thing happened to him while he was, he did, he just did the reverse judgy shit. Right. Yeah.

And it, and it's this Saul moment, but he did do this moment where he's like, I'm a reverse judgy shit bag. Right. And what I heard makes me change my mind about abortion. But he's still gross. He's still totally gross. But the way I read that story is something happened which allowed him to humanize the people in a way that was actual rather than caricaturized. You're right. So his idea of what he thought he was saving was this caricaturized version of the world, this sort of like Disney-ified version of women and men and babies and this sort of like very antiquated, idealized world that doesn't exist.

and then he gets arrested, he gets put in this psych ward and he's exposed in this moment to what the reality, for just a moment, the curtain is pulled back and that Disney-ification, that sort of caricaturization and he has this moment of like, wow, this is actually, he got to see reality for a minute and he humanized it and it humanized him and he realized like, yeah, I guess if we were living in a utopian world,

I would still like probably not want abortion to be, and it humanized him. And he realized like, yeah, I guess if we were living in a utopian world, I would still like probably not want abortion to be. But he saw for a moment, wow, we're not living in that world. And like, it makes me crazy because people have been yelling to anyone that will listen that know and listen and see us and hear us. But also I wanted in that moment to be like,

that is the essential piece that we need to find ways to do. We need to humanize this. We need to make this. It's like a lot of the animus behind the LGBTQ acceptance movement came from that idea that if more and more people come out, people you love will come out, you know, people you love, people you hang out with are going to be. So this issue, the issue of abortion has to be moved into the human sphere. It has to be de-characterized. It has to be moved into this human space where we see like, wow,

that's someone I love. Yeah. And they had an abortion and I still love them. And now I have to reconcile that. I'm forced now to deal with that moral quandary. Yeah. That's the way we have, that's the way forward. That is the way forward on this issue. Yeah. I, you know, I, I think back to, to my own life and I remember, you know, I've had a

couple of scares, what I call scares because I'm, you know, I've had a couple of scares, what I call scares, because I'm, you know, I'd never wanted kids. You don't want to have kids. And we've had a couple of scares in the past of like, you know, gosh, you know, you could be pregnant. And I remember the relief we had that we weren't. And I say we, it wasn't me. I wasn't pregnant.

But like that my wife wasn't pregnant. You know, like the two times, there's two times in specific and we were very careful too. Right. You know? And so like, that's the thing is like, like what would have happened if very careful two forms of birth control.

Right. Right. And very careful still results in a baby. Yeah. What then? Well, if I live in one of these States that is like a shithole state that like hates their fucking women, then guess what? I got a kid now, even though I tried to do my best beforehand. Right.

And you don't know my life. You don't know what my life is like. You don't know what my wife's life is like. You don't know any of the problems or the issues that we have. You don't know if that person could have. And this is something that happens all the time. They could have degenerative effects in their body that could cause something really bad to happen. There's a good chance their kid will wind up with X or Y. Sure. And they wind up

like, and they just say, well, I don't want to take that chance. I don't want to bring something into the world that could have some sort of issues. They could be, I mean, there's a million reasons and all of them are valid. Yeah. Every reason that you don't want to have a kid is a valid reason to not have a kid. But you're exactly right. When you de-caricaturize it, when you humanize it, when you take it into that level where it's like, well, you know, a lot of people are medications, which cause

birth defects. It's very common to be on medication. A lot of people like, but also just like, it should be enough, but we know it's not going to be. It should be enough to say some people just don't want to have kids, right? But we also know that that argument did not win the day, and it will not win

the day with some people. So we have to find another way to bring that, to make that human, to make that piece human. We seem to always try to use violence against women to make people realize it's a bad idea, but I think that there's plenty of ways to get it. There's plenty of ways to get people to understand it. They just got to understand it, I think, in their context.

But I'm just so sick and tired of waiting for them to understand. I'm so sick and tired. And when they have these little moments and they have these wake up moments, it's kind of insulting because like you said, it's like they've been telling you this for how long? It's like when someone they know finally dies or something like this. And then they say, oh my gosh. And's like, they've been telling you this for how long? It's like when, it's like when someone they know finally dies or something, something like this. And then they say, oh my gosh. And you say, well, that we, we told you literally that was going to happen because they were doing that in the seventies and people were dying. Like we, we knew, we knew this was going to be a factor, but they just, they just didn't get it. There's people down in, you know, I mean, what was maybe a month after abortion was illegal in Texas, there was a conservative woman who wanted to get an abortion.

She's like, I need an abortion. The baby's going to be dead or whatever. And they're like, sorry, we can't do it. She's like, well. What do you mean? What do you mean? Like it's health care. Yeah.

It's fucking health care for you. Now it's health care. Yeah. But before it was ban all abortions. Yeah. And it's always been health care. Now it's healthcare. Yeah.

But before it was ban all abortions. Yeah. And it's always been healthcare. The thing is like these people are all hypocrites because it's always their abortion is the exception. Yeah. It's always the exception. You know, these are the same assholes who, you know, they, they're, they're the same assholes who they want to collect unemployment when it's them.

Yeah, man. Yeah, man. They want to collect, you know, social security when it's their time. This, this asshole hypocrisy stuff isn't new, but I think it is extremely frustrating. It's like deeply, deeply, deeply frustrating. But I, I look at this stuff and I'm like, there is hope because you can see a path. You can see a strategy. And I, when I listened to this daily episode, my thought was, here's a guy who wanted to make change. And the way that he made that change is he came up with a strategy and he tirelessly worked to execute it. And that was a strategy of

social influence. And I thought, how do we mimic that same tireless execution of social influence to fix the problem? Because we got to fix it now. Now you done fucked it all up. Well, now we got to unfuck it because we can't just be mad about it. You know what I mean? Like we have to like unfuck this problem. It also bears noting that if anybody thinks that this is not purely a religious decision, look at the influencers. Yeah, look at the people who are the ones pushing it. This is religious, man.

This is not like, oh, I have a personally held moral objection. This is religious. It's a bunch of religious freaks who are gathering together and throwing the fucking money at this problem. It's a bunch of fucking religious freaks. And this is also a Supreme Court problem. I mean, this is really a Supreme Court problem. These things that are happening are because the Supreme Court just has free reign to do

whatever they want. They have very little ethics oversight. They have very little oversight in general. And they can pretty much change how we do things in this country because their decisions, unless we can somehow get enough people in Congress to vote for it, those are their decisions are the ones that rule the land. Final man. And so Roe v. Wade, now up to the states, unless somehow somebody gets in there and is able to get past the filibuster or break the filibuster, no. Now we have to do all the same work that we've had.

Now we have to do it 25 more times. We have to do it state by state. We got to fight this fight energetically, tirelessly as a social influence campaign state by state now. That's now, there's no other thing that's going to happen. We've got a generation of assholes

on the Supreme Court. That avenue is closed to us. That door is closed and welded shut, man. The number of assholes are their term limits, yeah. You're fucked. They're going to keep that door closed. They figure that out. Now, do you unfuck it through court? Do you go through the courts and figure out? Because it's generational now. You got to change it somehow. It's such a shitty issue.

To see the fucking, like you said, Machiavellian bullshit behind closed doors and the fact that those people are so brazen about it. They're just influencers, man. They're just a different kind of influencer. They are. It's also struck me that the Supreme Court is supposed to be beyond influence. Yeah, right, right. They are supposed to be, you know, they are held to a different standard. There's only fucking nine of them.

Yeah, man. They are supposed to be beyond influence. But like what struck me here is they're not. Nope. Because they're human. Nope. And if you get in their social circle and you make friends with them and they trust you and they believe you and they think that you're their buddy. Yeah, man. Then that's it. Yeah. Because that's it. And then they'll leak and they think that you're their buddy. Yeah, man. Then that's it.

Yeah. Because that's it. And then they'll leak a fucking decision. And they'll just, and then you can make money off of it. Right. Yeah. So that's going to wrap it up for this week.

We recorded a little late tonight. We did watch a hilarious video of Kanye West and Alex Jones, and you just have to go watch it on our live stream. If you missed our live stream, go check it out. Go back and watch it. It's indescribable. Indescribable. It is.

So go check it out. We just watched it. But we ran late tonight. We've got a lot to do, and we ran late, so we are going to skip email, but we're going to do it next time. We want to thank everybody who donated to Vulgarity for Charity. We wound up raising just over $400,000. So much.

That's so much. We thought we were going to break. We were like, oh, we're breaking too. We're going to do well. And it wound up getting $400,000. Incredible outpouring. The people who gave, they gave so much. So if you put in your roast, hopefully you'll get picked.

If you're one of the big donors, chances are you're going to get picked. So thank you, everybody, who donated to Modest Needs this year. Vulgarity for Charity is a huge, huge success because of you. We're going to catch you next time. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi

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