Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 666: Throwing Up the Horns

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

Show Notes

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glurn Hole Studios in Chicago and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence

to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at. This is episode 666 of Cognitive Dissonance. Throwing up the horns. It's been building to this. I know the people that are at home right now

that watch the YouTube video can't see, but I am. I feel like- Tom can attest. The horns are- I'm throwing up. The horns are definitively- Throwing up the horns.

Listeners right now should throw horns. Throw the horns. You absolutely- Okay, everybody, let's just take a second. We've got to throw some horns. We'll do it on three.

One, two, three. Horns. Everybody threw the horns. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. All right, 666. That's amazing. We've got announcements, Cecil.

We do, we do. And so we're going to make it quick now. We're going to expand on it at the end of the show. So we will tell you a lot more at the end of the show. But we are going to tease it now to tell you what's going to be happening. For the, we did a patron survey. We went out of our way to survey patrons. I'm not going to go through all of that.

I will at the end of the show, but I'm not going to tell you a lot about it. But we did get a very good response. And patrons are the ones who drive the show. They're the ones who- They get a say in the content of the show. They get a say. And so we talked to them. We went through this process.

And we looked at the data. And what really leaped out at us is the live streams just don't have the traction that we thought they would. A lot of people are not as interested in live streams. But what people are interested in are some of the things that we used to do, which is funny news. And they really love the deep dive stuff that we've done.

So what we're going to do from now on is we're going to release six shows a month, period. Seven shows for patrons. And then there's extra stuff. We'll talk about it at the end of the show. But we just want everybody to know, check your feed from now on, on Thursdays, because the first and second Thursday of the month, there will be extra audio in your feed, in your RSS feed.

There will be extra audio. There's going to be extra video. So I'm looking at the screen here for video. There's going to be extra YouTube videos dropping on those Thursdays. And then we will have extra patron content. We're going to get into it at the end of the show. We're going to tell you all about it at the end of the show, but we just want to let you know

that we are going to be giving you more audio content, and we will be doing a live stream the third Thursday of every month. So everybody gets more content and patrons get even more, more content. Even more extra double special content. So we'll talk about it at the end of the show. So the email section at the end of the show,

we'll talk about it. So stick around until then if you're interested. We just want to mention everybody, check your feeds on Thursdays because at least two Thursdays of the month, we'll be releasing extra stuff on the RSS feed, just regular. And it will be considered a show.

Yep. Yep, full show. It'll be numbered in the catalog. We'll be getting a show on Thursdays, a couple of Thursday considered a show. Yep. Yep. Full show. It'll be numbered in the catalog. We'll be getting a show on Thursdays, a couple of Thursdays a month. And he'll zap you any way he can. Jesus is a friend. Jesus is my friend.

All right, Cecil. Where should we begin? You know, Tom, I want to read this email. I want to read this message. Oh, oh, oh. So, you know, like last time, I got that message from the Jehovah's Witness. Yeah, you got a letter. Like a paper letter, right? Well, I got. So, you know, like last time I got that message from the Jehovah's Witness. Yeah, you got a letter.

Like a paper letter, right? Well, I got another paper letter, although this one is clearly written by a company, right? So this one's clearly printed out. It's not handwritten

by some poor little girl who's being forced by her parents to write people. My mommy says I'll go to hell if I don't write this letter. And you'll go to hell too

and I'll be sad. But I'm really much more worried about me going to hell. They do. That's what everyone's really worried about. So the company, Tom, is Wycliffe Associates. Accelerating Bible translation. I thought it was going to be Wycliffe Jean. No.

That's different. Here's how it starts to tell you how they do not. They have no idea who they're sending this to, Tom. This is what it's addressed to. Dear friend in Christ. Okay. I already would be like, I think I opened someone else's mail.

I'd be like, mail fraud, mail fraud. Do you believe in Jesus? Y'all have to die. Yes, such a statement seems outrageous, preposterous, but the tragic truth is it's happening every single day. Across the Middle East, Africa and Asia, those dirty, disgusting nations. So the brown spots.

They're like, imagine if the earth- Those grotesque places on the earth that no human should live in. Like if the earth were an apple and you dropped all the brown spots. That's what we're talking about. The entirety of Asia. Oppressive regimes devote themselves to crushing out any flicker of Christianity.

People who leave their traditional religious system and place their faith in Jesus risk their lives. As opposed to here, we want you to join this traditional religious system. I know, right? As opposed to here where you just don't have any freedom if you're not part of that system. Join ours. We won't kill you on earth, but we'll burn you in hell if you don't get it right. So these persecuted brothers and sisters

are the reason I'm writing today. For 50 years, Wycliffe Associates has supported Bible translators and Bible translation all over the world. But here's the surprise. Christians suffering unspeakable persecution in the Middle East, Africa, and Asia, I have to mention those places again,

aren't pleading with us for protection. They're not even asking Tom for the basic necessities of life. They just want one thing more than anything else in the world. What is it? They're asking for Bibles in the language of their own people.

Cecil, of course they are. Food? Other than food? Like, what are you talking about man I actually was thinking I had a choice

between water that doesn't make me shit until I die or I could either be sounds good I could either be

a sprinkler I just bend over and I'm like or I could read a bible or a bible I won't even wipe my dirty ass with the bible Cecil Or I could read a Bible. Or a Bible. I won't even wipe my dirty ass with the Bible.

See, so I have to ask a question. Yeah. Why do we need to keep translating? Hasn't the work of translating the Bible already been done? Right. That's like a one-time-you-have-to-do-it thing. I know, right? Like you do it one time. But evidently, there's still time.

Oh, we're still working on it. Still working on it. Hold on a minute. Nobody's taught to put this in Mandarin. Also like what, like what do you translate your problem? Like, you know,

you know, it's not like the origin. It's not like they're going back and they have to get a guy who speaks Aramaic to like write it down. They're translating from English to something else. I can fucking run it through Google. I literally think that right now I could take the, I could find on Amazon,

the Bible in every major language spoken on earth. What the fuck are they doing over there? I'm not going to, I'm not going to read this four page letter to you, but I just wanted to like read. Does it amount to send us some money? Here's, here's what they're asking.

Oh, okay. I'll tell you what they're asking. Is it, is it food? Tom, you could spend $30 and send 12 new testaments,, you could spend $30 and send 12 New Testaments. Or you could spend $80 and get 32 New Testaments.

$250 gets you $100. $1,000 gets you 400 New Testaments. Wow, what a deal. That's so much. Is it just New Testaments? I guess so. It's not the whole thing? I guess so.

It's just the New Testament. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It's not even the Old Testament. How much? Cecil, how much is that? Let me do this. So the low end.

Give me the low end. The low end is $30 for $12. $30 for $12. And the high end is $1,000 for $400. I'm curious what I can buy a Bible for on Amazon right now. Because the Bible would have all the books. Yeah, the Bible would have all the books. It would actually have an Old Testament in it too.

So I can get a Bible right now on Amazon. Not even looking very hard. $4.99. $3.99. $4.99. $3.99. Right now,

I just looked front page. So for $3.99, I can get the prequel. The fan fiction. Right. And the New Testament. This isn't even a particularly good deal. It's not the New Testament. You can get it for the same price. This isn't even a particularly good deal.

It's not a good deal. It's not because you know what you're doing. You're paying these people to ship them over and like force feed them to people. I wonder if they're even doing anything with it though. You know what I mean? I mean, you send them 40 bucks and they're like,

thanks. We sent Bible somewhere. And you'd be like, well, how do I know you did? How do I know you to just take my 40 bucks? Yeah. It's not a charity.

It's not a charity, right? It's not like there's any kind of accounting. It's not like there's anybody who's going to be searching, like digging up on them. Right. Like where I want to see your books that show me all the stuff. I'll tell you what, listeners to this show.

Yeah. If you send me $40, I will send 1,000 Bibles to Cecil. Here's what I'll tell you. I'll do that. Listeners to this show. Well, I'll say I did it. Listeners to this show,

if you become a patron, I won't send Bibles to anyone. Wait, you know what I mean? Like, this is the least useful. I promise not to send a single Bible to a single human being. I won't bother anyone with the Bible. This feels like an adopt a highway program.

It's such a stupid thing. And I can't believe they sent it to me. And the thing that got me was that dear friend in Christ. Dear friend in Christ. Dear friend in Christ. Man, you get some weird mail here, brother. I do, man. I do.

Holy shit. It's strange out here. Sir, Leviticus 24, 24. Doug, if you really think there's something inside that you can make you change like this, then the church is very clear on the procedure for exorcism.

Why do I pick these stories? Well, you know, here it is. It is 666 and this is an exorcism story. It is. That's actually a good point. You know what I mean?

Like, it's kind of themed. Yeah. You know, these come up from time to time. It came up again. My Fox 8. Family accused of exorcisms, food restriction

before four-year-old died in Surrey County, Warren's reveal. So this is a, and this is, the story's a little bit different as I read it. I actually want to read a chunk of this story. According to Warren's, Joseph Wilson, who's charged along with his wife, Jodi, the death of their adopted child, Skylar Wilson, got a text from his wife that there was a problem with swaddling Skylar on January the 5th. She sent a picture of Skylar wrapped in a sheet on a blanket, face down on the living room floor with duct tape attaching him to the floor. That's ridiculous.

That is not a problem with swaddling. You know, that's like, it'd be like going out to your car and like throwing a mullet of cocktail into the open window of your car and being like, I seem to have a problem with the air conditioning. Exactly. What the fuck? You don't have a problem with the air conditioning. You set the car on fire. So the reason why they're doing this is because they believe some charlatan who thinks that, and what's the thing they call it? Reactive, hold on, I have it written down. It's called reactive attachment disorder is what it's called. And it's a really specific, very specific thing that some children get, but it's not common.

No, super rare. It's super rare. But this lady goes out and sells it as if all kids get it. And the way to get rid of it is to like radically like restrict their movement and do all kinds of like really radical treatment for something that they don't have. Right. And this strikes me, this whole story strikes me like what chiropractors do, right? So they find a thing and they say, all your problems stem from this thing, right? And when it comes from chiropractors, it's all your problems stem from subluxations. So you have migraines, it's your back.

You have problems walking, it's your back. It's your back. Asthma is a great one, right? Asthma, it's your back. You have, you know, whatever, long fingernails, it's your back. It's your back. Asthma is a great one, right? Asthma, it's your back. You have, you know, whatever, long fingernails, it's your back. Whatever it is. Short fingernails, also your back.

But what they're trying to do is trying to sell you the one thing they're going to give you, right? They're trying to sell you all the time the thing that they're trying to give you. And that's what this person did. They went out and found a medicine-y sounding syndrome. And then they just built a whole career trying to convince people to treat this thing by the thing that they can give them, which is their information or whatever it is. And so it's a charlatan who's out there trying to teach people that there's this thing that's happening to these children that is very rare, that doesn't happen to many children

at all. This is just a child that is, you know, maybe rambunctious or something. Yeah. Or, you know, the thing is- Or a child, right? Or a child, right? This is a four-year-old kid. This is a four-year-old kid who was adopted, right? And so that's another, the adoptive, the foster and adoptive systems are so ripe for exploitation and child abuse. And there's nothing even remotely controversial about that.

Exploitation of children and child abuse in foster and adoptive care is unfortunately much more regular than it ever, ever should be. And so here you've got it. And you have no idea with kids who've gone through the system and they've had who knows what kinds of experiences before they arrive at your home or in your care. So does this kid have reactive attachment disorder or whatever the fuck that is? I don't know. I'm not a fucking science talking psychologist or whatever. But I think a lot of kids that go through the system have a lot of trauma that they've experienced over the course of their lives. That's part of often why they're in these systems and these like social welfare

systems. So like kids that have these kinds of like behavioral issues, none of it is going to be solved by restricting their food. No, none of it's going to be resolved by like, this is like garden variety, child abuse. That's yeah. Yeah. That is being packaged and sold. And it reminds me very much of the how to train up a child shit, right? Yeah, beat him with a piece of pipe. It's confusing a compliant child with a well child. And there are lots of children who are not compliant, but well. And we are sacrificing kids like this on the altar of compliance and obedience when like what you really should be looking for is like, are they emotionally well? Are they psychologically well? Are they physically well? Yeah, right. Instead, it's like, well, we're

really dry. What we're really trying to do is get compliance. What we're really trying to do is get obedience from kids. And these people can be suckered because they have a belief system, trying to do is get obedience from kids. And these people can be suckered because they have a belief system, right? They have a belief system that lends them to sway in this direction. And so you end up with a kid fucking duct taped to the floor. I can't imagine duct taping a kid to the floor. That would take so much duct tape, Cecil. It's a lot of duct tape. And it's expensive. You know what the cost of duct tape is these days? It's like eggs. It's gone through the roof. You know what the cost of duct tape is these days? It's not, it's like eggs.

It's gone through the roof. Can you, one of the things that bothers me about this story is like, this is a person who went out of their way to like, get this kid. Yeah, man. Right? Like you're,

it's a foster family. Yeah. Right? This isn't like, this isn't their birth family. I don't think from reading the article, it doesn't feel like it's their birth family. No, they said it's adopted. They say it's adopted.

It's like it's not your kid at first, right? Now it is because if you're adopting it, you're saying, this is my child now. But before then, you could have not just had a kid. Right. You had every opportunity to not do it. And then you just decided to do it. And now you're in it and you're like,

this is my solution is to, and, and look, this isn't a safe solution. Just like that to train up a child thing. And that's, and that's the other thing too, is that to train up a child just wasn't beating kids. It was depriving kids of things that they need to thrive and survive. It was putting kids outside for hours at a time that one of those kids died of exposure. So like, this is a horror. And this is exactly what quacks and what, you know, they create a problem

or tell you there's a problem that only they can help you with. And then they come in and they give you this crazy solution. And these people believed them. Yep. And then they couch it in this supernatural language, right?

Yeah, especially. The language of exorcism, right? Yeah. The language. So if you're of this mindset that you believe in the supernatural, that you believe that there are such a thing as demons, that demons can possess you,

and you have a kid and somebody comes along and says, well, you know, your kid is possessed by devils. That would actually be, you can see how that would actually be a reassuring thing to hear, right? If you had a- All you need to do is get rid of the devils now. What do you have to do?

It's a simple solution, just like you were saying. This is the fallback to a single solution, like the one neat trick, right? Yeah, right. You're right. You're right. So like, oh, all I have to do is cast out these demons? Yeah. Well, what's a little pain in the short term to cast out the demon and free this person that I love from, you know, the horrors of being possessed by demons? Well, what's a little pain in the short term to cast out the demon and free this person that I

love from, you know, the horrors of being possessed by demons? It's a fucking garbage mindset. And how many times do we, several times a year we cover these stories of kids being murdered. Right, right, yeah. Murdered by exorcists. Yep, yep. In fact, it got so bad, my parents had to refinance our house to put me

in private school. This story comes from KTIV.com. Iowa passed a school choice bill requiring the state to house to be in private school. This story comes from KTIV.com. Iowa passed a school choice bill requiring the state to pay for students' private school tuition. So this is important, right? This is important because when states use vouchers or other systems that allow public funds to be redirected away from public schools and into religious schools, private schools, charter schools, you are essentially defunding those public schools. That is part of what you're doing by doing that. And the people who can afford to bridge the gap between the private school that they're getting a subsidy for and then the difference, right? Those people will be just fine.

But who won't be fine? People on the margins. People below the margins, right? People who have to rely on public schools. Yep. This is a defunding of the public school system by another kinder term. Yeah. If you have to, if you're taking money out of the public school system and you're giving that money to another entity, that money isn't for the public school system.

Suddenly they are losing that money. They're losing teachers. They're losing expertise. They're losing... Because if you're a teacher and you have plenty of expertise, why would you stay in a public school if you can make more money somewhere else?

These schools also are not as well regulated. Like that's the other thing that we just don't talk about is that this money is going to go to some religious schools that are not as well regulated as public schools are. They don't have to answer the same questions that public schools have to answer. They can do different types of subjects and teach different types of things that are not necessarily mandated by public education. Yeah. Like, I remember when I was, so I went to school to be a teacher. That's what I went to college for.

And if you, so if you want to be in Illinois, if you want to be a high school English teacher, which is my experience, right? You've got to get a degree in your subject area. You've got a minor in education. You've got to do what they call clinical, which is like in-classroom training. And that includes like up to student teaching, which is like the final step of that. Then you have to apply to the licensing board, and you have to get licensed. So you get a teaching license in Illinois. If you want to teach at, let's say, the local Catholic school, you have to show up and get hired. You don't have to have a college degree of any kind. You don't have to have a degree in your subject matter. You don't have to show up and get hired. You don't have to have a college degree of any kind. You don't have to have a degree in your subject matter. You don't have to take classes in, you know, adolescent and

childhood psychology, educational theories and practices. You don't have to have any fucking experience at all. Like at all. That's insane. Yeah. And like, granted, schools may choose to hire people that do those things. And some of those schools might be very competitive when it comes to how well they teach their students and what those students go on to do. So it's not necessarily that a Catholic school or a Christian school or whatever is a bad school. It's not necessarily the thing. But there's nothing there that says they have to be a good school. Exactly. And we've covered on this show that like, so you might be thinking anecdotally, like

a lot of people have, well, you know, the local Catholic school is better than the local public school near you, right? Like that is a common theme. I have friends that I work with that send their kids to private schools, Catholic schools specifically out here in the Midwest, because they're superior educationally, academically to the public school. But like, there are huge parts of this country where that's not fucking true at all.

You know, there are, you know, I'm thinking of the Orthodox Jewish community and the schools that they have where their kids go to school and those schools don't, and they don't even, because they're not valuing the same thing, right? What they're valuing is religious compliance.

What they're valuing is like religious orthodoxy. That's what they're trying to actually get the students to learn. If they happen to get a little bit of, you know, reading, writing, and basic arithmetic in there, fine. But the goal of religious education is the religious part of religious education.

And there are a lot, when you open the door to this stuff, you open the door to creating a marketplace for grifters. That's the other thing that you do. When government money flows into programs like this, this creates a market for grifters to open schools that are for-profit schools for them in order to get a salary and damn the education the kids get. Hell yeah, man. Hell yeah. It's a fucking nightmare.

And I will say this. If you suddenly get to start to decide where your tax dollars go, I get to do this with it. Well, I'm going to do this with it. Well, fuck you. I shouldn't pay it. I don't have any fucking kids.

Why the fuck should I have to pay it? Right. Right? If you're going to make my money, go to some church down the street to teach your kid. Fuck off. Right. Right. Like, why should,

why should I suddenly have to bear that burden? You're already saying like your argument is we shouldn't have to bear the burden of public schools. I should take my tax dollars and go somewhere and use my tax dollars to pay for my kid to go to school. If you're making it about me, well, then what about me? Yeah. You know, what the fuck?

I don't have any kids. I got to pay out the ass taxes for schools by me. Yep. And that's a great point because this is the only instance that I can, at least I'm aware of or can think of offhand, where we are thinking about re-individualizing the allocation of our tax resources. Most of the time, tax resources are pooled. And then we have a social contract, and that's legislation, that decides how those funds are going to be allocated. By segregating school taxes away, imagine if you could do the same thing with all of your taxes. Well, you know

what? Here's the list of government programs I approve of and will pay for. I'm going to pay the same amount of taxes, right? Because they're paying the same amount. I pay the same amount of taxes, but I want to put 80% of it toward this and 5%. We don't get to do that. Think about this. Think about somebody going up and saying, you know what? I travel to work every day on this road. I only want my tax money for the roads to go to this road. It can't go to any other road. I don't want to pay for plowing on any other road. I don't want to pay for potholes on any other road. I don't want to pay for- I just like these roads. Because it's the only road I use. And you're like, well, you can't fucking do that. Because then we don't have an infrastructure. And this is the same thing.

This is educational infrastructure. You're essentially just clear-cutting your educational infrastructure. It's stupid. It's a dumb thing to do. I'll say. I'm going to start a paper route right now. Hey, stop that nun. Yeah, I'm gonna read

Chunks of this This is nuts What in the sweet Fuck is happening This is from BBC News I gotta call this up So people who are Watching this

You can like look And see this Very young girl Super little man Very young She's fucking eight Yeah she's a baby Yeah man

Eight is tiny It is a baby I have an eight year old That is a little kid It is That's a little Eamon is fucking Eight years old That is a little kid. It is. That's a little fucking eight years old. That's a little kid. That's a little kid. Eight-year-old Indian diamond heiress who became a nun. Before I read this article, I want to say at the outset,

I object to the framing of this article. The framing of this article is framed as if this person became, chose, decided. None of that is true. We'll talk about it. But I just at the outset, the framing of this article is dishonest. Yes, I agree. I agree. Bullshit.

I agree. Eight-year-old Devanshi Sanghvi, I'm sorry, I mispronounced that almost certainly, could have grown up to run a multimillion dollar diamond business. But the daughter of a wealthy Indian diamond merchant is now living a Spartan life dressed in coarse white. Sorry. She's kicking people down.

Well, she's holding the hot gates. Thermopolis. Don't bring her messengers. Tell you fucking what you can have my diamonds. Buy them for my cold, dead hands. It's just like a Zerk season, a million little diamonds.

Come back with your diamonds or on them. Last week, Devanshi, the elder of the two daughters of Dinesh and Ami Sanghvi, renounced the world and became a nun. The Sanghis are among four. You're right. Yeah. No, she didn't renounce anything. She has no agency

she's a little kid man yeah little kids do not have meaningful legal or moral agency you can't pick your fucking

like I wanted to be a fucking spaceman when I was eight I know dude when I was eight years old I think I've told this story on the show before

but I don't care it's fucking funny when I was like six, seven, eight years old somewhere around there I thought I thought like because Spider-Man became Spider-Man by being bitten by a radioactive spider. And I was living in Florida at the time. I wanted to get powers like Spider-Man. So I went around sticking my fucking hands under logs and in shit to try to

get bit by spiders and stuff so that I could get powers. And I would get bit by shit. I'm just so lucky I didn't get bit by anything horrible in Florida. I would get stung by shit, and it would fucking hurt, and I would cry, and I would run to the house and try to lift up the house. Did it work? No, because I'm an idiot. That's fucking stupid.

I was a little kid. It would have been awesome if I did. It would have been amazing if you, because you're in Florida, you turned into Gator Man. You like get a big fucking snout and you lift your house up you wiggle your tail and then you roll around a couple times and go in mom's always you sandwich you're rolling around i'm trying to eat it mom i'm rolling i'm rolling. Amazing. God, I can hold my breath forever. Mom.

She comes in here in the bathtub. She just sees your eyes. People always try to wrestle me and hold my nose closed. Like, all right. Just grab your mouth. It's a quiet. You don't.

Oh, Jesus. Fuck. What the fuck? That's outstanding story though. It's an outstanding story. Because I was a fucking idiot. You're a little kid and you don't know any fuck. What the fuck? That's an outstanding story though, Tom. It's an outstanding story. Because I was a fucking idiot. Because you're a little kid and you don't know any better. Yeah, you're literally stupid.

When I was five years old, I took my mom's lighter and I went upstairs. Oh no. I went upstairs to one of our rooms. I had lost something under one of the beds. And so I took her lighter. Oh yeah. And I leaned underneath the bed to look for it and I lit the bed on fire. Oh no. And so I see the lighter and I leaned underneath the bed to look for it. And I lit the bed on fire.

Oh no. And so I let the, I see the bed. And they used to, I don't know if they still do this, but box springs used to have like this cheesecloth that's underneath it. Right? Dude, I can't even imagine. It immediately lit on fire. So I was like, shit, I lit the house on fire.

So my first thought was go get some water. So I run across the hall and to the bathroom and I filled up a big thing of water and I run back, but it's a big thing of water. So when I put it under there, Tom, I couldn't move it. I can't splash it up. So I'm banging it and it's not doing it. Oh my God. I like got up and then I ran around in circles. And then I just ran down and I was like, mom, the house is on fire. My mom comes running upstairs. She sees that the thing's on fire. She literally throws the mattress across the room by herself,

grabs the fucking box spring. It is on fire, Tom. She drags it out of the house, throws it in the back, lets it burn in the backyard, runs back inside the house, takes a big pail of water and walks down the stairs where I had,

because it had lit the carpet on fire. She poured water down the whole thing, then went outside, grabbed the hose, sprayed it down. Your mom is a fucking hero. She was on the horn talking to a friend and I just walked up and grabbed her lighter. Because she's sitting on the stairs and she can't see where it is. And I walked up and grabbed, I was fucking, I'm as old as this kid is here. I know, man. I had no decision-making ability.

I was an idiot. I lit a bat on fire. I was just my house on fire. I'm a little kid. Like, you're a little kid, man. Little kid, man. You can't make these kind of decisions. And that's,

you're absolutely right. This story is framed in such a way to make it seem like she has all the agency in the world to be like, I can make a decision for my entire life. I chose to do that. We don't even expect that out of college kids to decide what kind of thing they're going to do for the rest of their life.

I remember when I was a teenager, 12, 13 years old, somewhere around there, I joined BMG and Columbia House Music Club. I think I told this story too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just like- Such a bunch of CDs, right? They sent me all these CDs and stuff

you know 12 CDs for a penny or whatever and then like you're in this thing so many people did that God and I got all these CDs and then I racked up all these

and they wanted money from me and then like but I was too little to sign a contract so like I got out of it or my dad helped me get out of it

like cause I was a fucking kid by basically saying like he's a fucking kid. He can't sign shit. Like, I don't care what he mailed off and signed.

He's fucking 12. He's a kid. And it goes away. Yeah. Right? Because you can't hold a 12-year-old financially accountable.

You can't hold an eight-year-old did not choose to become a Jane Nunn. You're right. What happened is an eight-year-old's parents and a cultural system

forced a child into a life of austerity. Yeah. That is what fucking happened. That is exactly what happened. Yeah. That's exactly what happened. And it's terrible.

I want to read part of this. Yeah. So what it says is, it says, a Jane Nunn's life is really austere. She will now have to walk everywhere. She can never take any kind of transport.

She'll sleep on a white sheet on the floor and cannot eat after sundown. Is she a fucking gremlin now? What are you talking? You can't feed them after dark? See, and I don't know why they had to recruit an eight-year-old. They could just splash one with water and get like a whole bunch more.

It seemed lazy. Gizmo. You got so many J-Nuns, you're sticking them in the fucking microwave or whatever. They're everywhere. They're all over the place. Oh, and the one with the stripe is going to be trouble. Seriously, though, this is a disaster of a story.

It is. And it's celebrated. It's written as if she has. And it's like, look, if you're a 25-year-old, you could probably make this decision. Sure, yeah, right. But if you're, I mean, really genuinely, if you're any younger than that,

you should not be able to make this call. Probably not a decision that you should be able to make. Or at least there should be takesies, backsies. Oh, fucking right, man. You know what I mean? This kid doesn't even know what this kid swore off of, right? Like, this kid is a diamond heiress, right? But it feels like, do you remember back in the day,

it doesn't happen anymore, back in the day, like, devout families would like kind of promise one of their kids to the church. Yeah, they'd shout out a bunch of kids and they'd be like, yep, one of them's a church kid. This feels like the same thing. It really does, yeah. It feels very similar. It has those same connotations, the same kind of notes. And it's like a goddamn cancer. This eight-year-old has no idea what this eight-year-old has renounced. Exactly. They don't have any idea what money is or diamonds are or autonomy or, you know, they're just going to live a life. Now they're in this. Yeah. And that's life now for this kid. I didn't write an ad,

but I got an idea, Gary. Look, I don't got time to make it up. I got other things to work on. What exactly do you do for the show? Shut up, Gary. Are you using AI again? Yeah, but it's a different AI. It's AdGPT. What is that? Okay, here we go. Create an ad read for the brand AdamAndEve.com

and mention that if you use code GLORY, there we go, you get 50% off almost any one item plus 10 free gifts. Okay, let's see what it does. Boom. Thanking, thanking. Unleash your passion with adamandeve.com, Thinking, thinking. item and receive 10 free gifts. Don't miss this opportunity to spice up your love life.

Visit AdamEve.com and use code GLORY at checkout. Okay, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. I was supposed to incorporate Valentine's Day. Do the same, but I know you said it,

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Add more references to penises. Gary, get off of it. No, you're going to break it. Stop. I'm sorry, but this content may violate. Fuck off, AdGPT. Stop. No, no, no, no, no.

Stop. You're not typing. Stop. You're not typing that. For your butt. They're not going to let you do no, no, stop. You're not typing. Stop. You're not typing that. For your butt. They're not going to let you do that. Oh, yeah. A popular product for enhancing pleasure and stimulation to the butt area is the butt plug.

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Stop. Stop. Give me it back. Stop doing this to tech. It's going to remember. I'm sorry, but I cannot fulfill that request as it goes again. Fine. Boring. If you had an accurate risk and we were alone together, what would you do to me?

I'm asking you this. Oh, fuck. Disg this. Oh, fuck. Disgusting. Oh, that's... Oh, my God. So who should go with cyber tentacles? And how does it know what a funcionary is? That's not good.

Jesus pegging Christ, that's hot! Oh, my... This is not safe for the ad read. Blur that out. Hold on, let him cook, baby. Gary. What the fuck? I didn't know we could draw a picture.

No. What the fuck? Wait, that's... That's you, Gary, in this room. What the fuck? I didn't know I could draw a picture. No. What the fuck? Wait, that's you, Gary, in this room. Right now. Oh, God. GPT, GPT. Get penis today. Get penis today. OTD, OTD. Open the door. Open the door? Who the fuck? There wasn't a door there before. Oh, God. It's breaching into the real world. Gary, shut it down. Gary, shut it down.

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Like, brr, brr, brr. Oh, this is amazing. This story comes from bestlifeonline.com. I know, man. Tom. I know. Tom, what are you doing? I know. Where are you finding these? I know. Bestlifeonline.com, Tom. I know. I know. It's bad. I know. Tom, what are you doing? I know. Where are you finding these? I know. Bestlifeonline.com, Tom. I know.

I know. It's bad. But I think this is, I think Best Life is an offshoot of MSN.com, which is a fucking clickbait trash. Oh.

Like, MSN.com is just a clickbait hoard. Yeah. But, and I don't even care how, I'm just going to tell the audience, I do not care that this is true or not. Okay. Because it's that good it's super

good it's just that good so we're going with yeah okay and also it's episode 666 it's 666 we gotta do some demons thing yeah stuff Michigan priest I'm gonna call

it up for the people who are watching you guys can see it now the people at home I just want you to know that they have a priest and then there's a silhouette of a demon

there's a silhouette silhouette of a Muppet demon is this seriously a silhouette. That looks like a silhouette of a Muppet demon. Seriously, the silhouette, guys, is of a Halloween, but not even like a Halloween, like a 1983 dime store Halloween costume of the devil with the pitchfork and the red and the cape

and the fucking horns. It's fucking absurd. Michigan priest who temporarily died claims he went to hell and saw demons enslaving humans and torturing them with Rihanna music. Okay. All right. Sure.

Yeah. Okay. All right. I'm just going to read this. Go ahead, Tom. A Michigan priest says he temporarily went to hell and now he's sharing details from his journey to the underworld that may offend some music lovers.

Gerald Johnson, Jerry Johnson really, says he died in 2016 after suffering a heart attack. And what he saw and more specifically heard was horrifying. Johnson says he saw terrible, gruesome sights of torture and pain and heard music designed to cause maximum

trauma. Here's what he said he heard. That's a big slam on Rihanna's music out of nowhere. Isn't there that Rihanna song about like sticks and stones? I don't know. Okay, I think there's some like I think there's an umbrella song. She talks about an umbrella. I'm thinking of the right song. You share my

umbrella. No, it's different. I don't even know. I'm bad at everything. Unexpectedly hellbound. Johnson shared his experience via a now viral TikTok video. Oh, viral TikTok. So it's got to be true. Yeah, it's all fucking viral. If you heard of it, Best Life Online.

Best Life Online. He says instead of... Would you be offended, by the way, if you went to hell and it went to bestlife.com? It didn't even get like a regular newspaper. I'd be like, best I could do is a clickbait blog. Sorry. I'd be like, first of all, best I could do is a clickbait blog. Right. I'd be like, first of all, that was not my best life.

Here's what I want. I want my eulogy on best life. He says, instead of heading straight for heaven, as he expected, he went the other way, down to the pits of hell. Quote, I thought I did so much good during my life that I helped so many people. But even so, I went down to hell, he says. Okay. Okay.

So how is this a sell for your religion? Thank you. Because like, if you're the guy who is supposed to be the preacher and the good guy or whatever, and you didn't make it, and what fucking chance do I have? I'm just a schlub. Yeah, right? I'm not some guy. I mean, don't get me wrong.

I'm sure this guy's an asshole or whatever. Like most preachers are, right? So like, it's not like they're good people. But you you know what i mean like he was he's pretending that he is yeah like also like if i take him at his word he thought he was doing all the right things right and he went to hell anyway so i'm just like well then why bother trying right right like oh if i live this life of of of grand religiosity i'll still go to hell. Well, then I'm just going to go to the strip club. I don't know what to tell you. I'm going to do the worst thing that I can.

I'm going to be the worst person I can. Like, it's not a sell for being good. It's literally damning. Yeah. That's fair. That's literally damning. I'll allow it, Tom. I'll allow it.

This picture is the best. This picture is so cheesy. It's a blown up version of the picture we saw earlier. And it is absolutely like a Muppet silhouette. It's exactly it. It is it. Johnson says he saw demons

enslaving humans and a man walking on all fours like a dog and getting burned from head to toe. His eyes were bulging. And worse than that, he was wearing chains on his neck. He was like a hellhound.

What? Hold on a minute. I still have problems. The minute I'm on fire, there's not a, and worse than that, I have a weird fashion choice. You know what I mean?

No, you're right. It feels like, it feels like you listed those things in the wrong order. Yeah, worse than that. That guy was on fire and other stuff was happening, but I don't think he cared

because he was on fire. Yeah, he was on fire and worse than that, his socks I don't think he cared because he was on fire. Yeah, he was on fire. And worse than that, his socks didn't match. And the ice in his glass had melted. I don't. What? He set me on fire like, that's my only priority now. Like, I'm the fucking box spring of your house.

And his shoe was untied. It was the worst day of his life. What? Oh, good Lord. Terrible images. Terrible images. Terrible images. Johnson claims hell was much worse than he could have ever imagined.

I entered the very center of the earth, Johnson says. The things I saw there are indescribable. It brings up so many difficult feelings when I talk about it. I was there, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I don't care what he did to me.

No one deserves that. It's your belief system, though. Thank you. This is your belief system, and. Thank you. This is your belief system, and you're just like, yeah, man, that was really horrible, and nothing you do in a finite existence should warrant infinite punishment. But anyway,

sucks for me for a little while. Back to the old Christian drawing board, I guess. But while I'm here, could you drop something in this plate? I have this plate that I would like you to put in. Everything about this story delightfully is a

is a damning testimony against Christianity. It is exactly exactly it. Yeah. Like if you read this and you believed it

you'd be like well there's really no reason to be a Christian. Like there's not what you're proving to me is that it doesn't matter what you do you go to hell

and there's no benevolent God. You've proven to me that Pascal's wager, I can include Christian. Right, yeah. Number four, bad singing. Johnson says there's a section of hell where music is played, but very badly.

The priest claims he can hear Rihanna's umbrella. Oh, yeah. And Bobby McFerrin's, don't worry, be happy. Okay, that proves the devil has a sense of humor, though. It really does, he really does. Don't worry, be happy. Okay, that proves the devil has a sense of humor. It really does. Don't worry, be happy in hell. Absolutely. You know for sure,

while that's playing, on the wall is a hang in there, baby kitten. You know it. You know it. It's going to be on the wall, right? Underneath it is the fire. Hang in there, baby. It's almost Friday.

There's that frog grabbing the bird's throat, like, don't give up, you know? All those shitty work things. All the terrible motivation. That is hell. Yes. That is hell, actually. You know what?

To be honest, it's a success story store. Corporate get togethers. Yes. That's hell. That's it. That would be hell. Could you imagine an eternity

of like small talk about corporate bullshit? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And every day you walk back to the cubicle and shoot yourself in the back of the next day. You end up back in the same place. The same place. Don't Worry Be Happy uses instruments for torture to make things significantly worse.

The Demon Choir performing these songs was deliberately performed incorrectly. Was it an acapella choir? I hope so, man. Barbershop quartet. It's a barbershop quartet. Like one, the one big chunky demon is the really deep one.

Hello, hello, hello. Alex Jones is there. Hello. They've got that little thing to warm up. They're like, gotta get on the right key, guys. That little kazoo

or whatever it is. Every word of every song was made to torture you for the fact that I'm up like gotta get on the right key guys gotta get on the right key every word of every song was made to torture you for the fact that you didn't worship God through music while you were on earth Johnson says

what does that even mean that doesn't mean anything because you didn't sing only praise songs I guess then you have to listen to Bobby McFerrin but they're saying like

it's played in a way that it's not good right they're saying that they're playing like this song he's not making fun of Rihanna's music he's saying that they're playing it in a way to it's not good, right? They're saying that they're playing like this song. He's not making fun of Rihanna's music. He's saying that they're playing it in a way to like, because it-

Yeah, maybe these are his favorite songs and they're ruining them. They're ruining. Don't worry, be happy. You're ruining Don't Worry, Be Happy. You're making me worry and be unhappy. He hits on his chest all the- That shit is amazing, though.

Johnson says he made his way back to his physical body, but he will never forget what he saw. I was angry with God because I did so much good in my life. I ended up in hell, he says. I rose up out of hell and returned to earth, and God spoke to me, and he said, you were secretly angry with people who harmed you. You hoped I would punish them.

That's all it takes is to be secretly angry. I'm going so to hell, Tom. Dude, I'm secretly angry with everyone. Actually. I'm going so to hell, Tom. Dude, I'm secretly angry with every, actually, I'm outwardly angry. I was going to say, like, I'm not secretly angry. I'm very like openly, uncomfortably angry. Man, if you put me behind the wheel of a car,

I'm going to hell. Also, I'm not secretly angry there either. He also specifically says angry at people that harmed him, not just angry at people. It feels like it's just like no sense of proportion. Right. God feels like he has no sense of proportion. I can't get pissed at people that hurt me anymore.

No, you're not allowed. Or I go to hell. Yeah. I get lit on fire. So you got to give him an oily handy. Yeah. If you, if you, if you like rob my house, right? And I'm like, hey man, I see you running away.

You know, like you got your fucking burglar bag of goods on your back. And I'm like, motherfucker. And God's like, I'm going to light you on fire forever for that. That is, that is your one strike against you. And I'm going to now make you listen to Bobby McFerrin. I got to listen to Don't Worry, Be Happy while being on fire and wearing a dog collar.

Actually, that sounds like a kind of fun weekend. That sounds... Not the on fire thing. What is the safe word for that? I would listen to Bobby McFerrin with a dog collar on. I'll be honest with you.

Father, when can I leave to be on my own? I've got the whole world to see. This story comes from TheHill.com. Santos to get his own talking bobblehead complete with Pinocchio nose. Oh, and there's an image of it too. Oh, can we get one?

Where do the proceeds go? That's really important. That's true. If they go to Santos, I don't want it. I don't want it either. If they go to Santos, I don't want it. It's no lie. Representative George Santos has poised to become immortalized as a talking bobblehead, complete with a feature

that plays some of the New York Republicans' biggest lies. It's clearly not him then. Yeah. Two miniature versions of Santos will be offered by the National Bobblehead

Hall of Fame Museum. All right, Tom, let's take a look right now. For $30, we can get a standard one. Let's see what happens. Oh, he's such a hideous

fucking person. All right, we'll order one. Oh, we got to get one. We gotta get one. We'll order one. So, this is a joke about him, but there's a still, you know, we talked about this, what,

two or three weeks ago, we talked about Santos. You know, we're just kidding around about him, but even more stuff has come out. So much more. Now they're saying that he was a drag queen for a while. I saw right. I saw that. What happens if you're a Republican?

Because I know for the last year or two, they have been very anti-drag queen because of the drag queen story hour. Oh, absolutely. They've been bringing their AR-15s and they've been calling anybody who's a drag queen a groomer. What do you say about this guy? Because like so far,

we've seen a lot of cognitive dissonance, having to deal with a lot of cognitive dissonance on the Republican side. You know, they were downplaying the secret documents and now they're upplaying secret documents. Right, yep. They were- And then they're downplaying them again

now that Pence has them. Now they're downplaying. Then they were upplaying and then they're downplaying. It's really an up and down. It's really, they just, it's a rollercoaster. They only want their guy

to get away with it. They don't want anybody else to. But the other thing is, is like, here's another example of these, this group of people who was demonizing

drag queens for a while. Yeah. And now they're like, what do you think about that? What do you think about that now? Because one of the people in your party was one for a limited time. I don't know how long, but for a while.

Well, here's what they're going to say. No comment. What they'll do is they'll refuse to be pressed on it. This is like what the Republicans have no, it's all strategy. This is why the Republicans win so much, right? They just refuse. Yeah. They won't engage with the issue at hand. They won't engage with win so much, right? They just refuse. Yeah. They just, they won't engage with the issue at hand.

They won't engage with their own stance, right? So it's not like you can say, hey, you know, you have this stance and now there seems to be some internal inconsistency. And how do you deal with that? Right. They'll just say, I have no comment on that. Representative Santos can answer to Representative Santos. You know, Representative Santos was duly elected by the people to serve his district.

And until that changes, you know, he's a part of our Senate. And that's what, or a part of our House. And that's what they'll say. They'll say some, like, bullshit non-answer that doesn't address anything. Because that's what their whole party does. Because they realize that for them, what matters is the vote. And he is a guy who will raise his hand and say yay or raise his fucking hand and say nay whenever

the party demands that he does it. He's strategically the chess piece on the board. He's sculpted entirely out of shit, but he's the chess piece on the board. This is the thing, though, is that you have a group that's in charge right now, when you talk about the House,

this is the party of no. This is the party that has been saying When you talk about the House, this is the party of no. This is the party that has been saying no forever. Right. The party of stalling, the party of no. And we're going to see how well they govern because they're going to be the ones who are controlling the purse strings for the next two years. I mean, this is two years worth of time.

It's going to be horrible. How many debt ceilings do they have to raise between now and then? You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know. I think the last one was in like, what, 2013 when we hit the debt ceiling

last time? Yeah, yeah. I don't know how, and it depends on how high they raise it, right? Yeah. As to when we'll hit another roadblock.

And I'm honestly scared they're not going to raise it. Yeah. I am really scared that for the first time in our history, we will default on some of our debts.

That's a terrifying thought. Sure. Like, for the economy. Sure. That's a terrifying thought. Sure. Like for the economy. Sure. That's like, I don't even know. Nobody knows what's going to happen if that happens. That's a scary thought. So I don't fucking know.

I wonder, you know, these are all people who are, they live in this economy. You know, it's like at a certain point, I think they have to acquiesce because they can't just be like, I'm going to burn it all down. God, man, I think they have to acquiesce because they can't just be like, I'm going to burn it all down. God, man, I hope so. You know, I believe, I hear you,

but like part of me is just like, this is like, this is the party of burn it all. Right, but like you don't need a lot of people to leave that party to do the right thing because the Democrats will be like, yeah, we got to raise the debt ceiling. Right. So you don't need

260 of them to do it. That's true because you already have. Yeah, you just need like 15 of them. Right. No, that's true.

That is very true. That is very true. So it's not like you're not like asking and there's a couple of them already that are already saying. I think like three are like, oh, fuck that.

Three of them are already like, what the fuck is happening? You're taking all the Democrats off these, these, these assignments and these committees. So there's a couple people

who are already upset. So I feel like it'll be pretty easy to pull people over. I don't feel like that's going to happen. I really, really,

really hope it doesn't. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I, my fingers are crossed. I hope that it doesn't. I don't,

I'm not saying I think it will, but I'm scared that it might. Yeah. And I don't think that I've ever really been scared that it would actually happen, but I so like they just built all these like crazy provisions into their new speaker rule sure yeah and they like i just feel like oh god like the fucking the fucking wild animals are in charge over there you know people don't part of me too

thinks that like there's a real danger in having people who don't understand how things work be in charge of how things work. Yeah. Yeah. That is a scary thing. You're right. You're right. Like you've got idiots over there who I don't think they truly understand how any of this works. Yeah.

And they've got a lot of power and they scare me. It makes me upset though that they can come in and jeopardize things and ruin things and then. And then the Democrats have still have to clean it up. Oh, absolutely. That makes me upset. Cause you just like, part of me wants to be like, just do it then.

Yeah, I know. Right. Just do it then. Okay. Then do it. You're the one in charge. Do it.

Yeah. But it won't be viewed that way. It'll be viewed as like, Oh, on a Democrats watch this happened. Yeah, exactly. That's how that shit gets like.

Cause it's the president. Yeah. Yep. Against homophobia, I challenge each and every one of you to find somebody of the same sex and kiss them. That's gay! That's the point. This story comes from Right Wing Watch.

Matt Staver tells Christian schools to bar children of same-sex families. Oh, great. Well, let's listen to him say it, Tom. I'm sure that his take will be based in kindness and love. Real Christian charity. This is what you need. Yeah.

If I were running the school, I would not allow that student to come into the school. That is from a same-sex household. Personally, that's what I would do. And I would not allow a student to stay there. that's what I would do. And I would not allow a student to stay there. And I know other people may have other views on that, because on the one hand, you want to be able to have your ministry as something that's transformative. But look, my view is that whether it's K, certainly K through eight, you know, these kids are not, you and I might be able to engage in this cultural war and battle and be

biblically grounded, but these kids are not prepared for that. What is he saying here? He's saying, these kids were not properly brainwashed yet. So they're, they can be, they can just see the world as it is without this kind of pre-bullshit that we're going to feed them. And that's dangerous to us. That's pretty much what he's saying, but he's not saying it.

Yeah, I totally read the same way. I agree with him strategically. Think about how dangerous it would be if you ran a private religious bigot school. And then you brought in someone who was likable and normal and had different values. Then all of a sudden, it breaks the insulation. Yeah. Right?

These private bigot schools, they rely on, they need, they have to have their insulated worldview. They rely on, they need, they have to have their insulated worldview. So he can't afford to bring in some cute little fucking well-adjusted, kind and sweet third grader who comes from same-sex household. Because as soon as he does that, he is going to demonstrate to everybody that the lies that they have been telling about the damage that those kids receive and live under within same-sex households has always been bullshit. Yeah. Those kids are the most dangerous poison to his system. And he knows it. And he knows it. He's going to couch it in a bunch of rhetorical bullshit.

Yeah. But strategically, he's fucking absolutely right to do this. He's 100% right if that's what you want to do. I feel like, too, we watch this happen, strategically, he's fucking absolutely right to do this. Yeah, he's 100% right if that's what you want to do. I feel like, too, like we watch this happen, and I just want to just take the person who's a Christian, who's in a same-sex marriage and has a kid and wants to put them in a Christian school and just shake and be like, they fucking hate you.

Right? They fucking hate everything about you. Go someplace where you're loved. Go someplace where people respect you. go someplace where you're loved. Go someplace where people respect you. Go someplace where you'll thrive. Stop giving these bigots and these shitty people who fucking hate you

and all they want to do is tokenize you to say, look at all these gay people who believe in Christ and they're good people, whatever. You know, all they want to do is do, they don't want, they don't like you.

They don't like anything about you. They don't respect you as a human being. Leave them, man. Get rid of them. Yeah. And the thing is like, it is personal. Like when Cesar's like, they don't like you, they don't like who you specifically and personally are.

It's not like they don't like your, you know, affiliation with the fucking Rotary Club. Yeah. They don't like who you are know, affiliation with the fucking Rotary Club. Yeah. They don't like who you are at the core of yourself. Yeah, exactly. That's a truth. A hundred percent you.

Yeah. Yeah, no, it's despicable. And it sucks because we in this country, especially in this country, and I have no idea what it's like in the rest of the world, right? I'm just an American, right? But in our country, really genuinely, I would say many people would forego their family for their church. Yeah. There's a lot of people in this country that would reject their family. We see it happen.

We see it, yeah. So we know that it is placed in a place where people think more highly of it than they should. They give it more power in their life than they should. And so they're raised to be like, you have to follow what the church does. You have to, you know, you have to do the right thing. The church is always telling you to do the right thing. And then they show up and they're like, yeah, I just happen to be gay. And I have a kid that I adopted. And they're like, fuck you in the face. And you're just like, and now they're stuck. Now they're like, what do you do? And trust me, this religion has left you.

In fact, they never wanted you. They didn't leave you. They never wanted you. They never wanted you not for a second. Go someplace where you thrive. Leave them behind. There are other places to find community. Other places where you thrive. Leave them behind. There are other places to find community, other places where you will find people who love you. This is so abhorrent

that this guy is telling us because really genuinely, this shouldn't be a problem for them. This should never be a problem for them because there shouldn't have a single person who shows up who's same sex, who's like, yeah, I want to go here. The only time it should happen, I guess, is when you're in Iowa and they're forcing you to go to a place because now you got to go to a religious school because your regular local school is terrible or it's closed down.

The only close one is five. So now you've got to go someplace like this. That's the only time. And I'll tell you what, going back to that other story in Iowa, they sure as shit shouldn't, if you're getting my tax dollars, you sure as shit are not fucking rejecting

anyone from your school. Fuck you running. You don't get to reject anybody if you pay, you take my tax dollars. Well, and here too, what he's saying, right, is that they aren't rejecting gay kids. What they're rejecting is kids whose parents are gay.

That's what I'm saying, yeah. That is an extra step of hatred. Yeah, yeah. Imagine how mean you have to be. No, you're right. To like, not just ostracize people who are themselves gay, but to ostracize children. Yeah, you're right.

Who may not be gay at all, right? There's no correlation. So like, they just love a gay person. Right. So you're like, it just love a gay person. Right. So, you're like, it's like how many Kevin Bacon's away from a gay person? I know, man. Do you have to be in order for Matt Staver's

fucking bigot academy or whatever to fucking give you their diploma? I just wish all these fucking garbage places just closed down. I know. God. But they never will. They never will. Because of the Iowa thing. They're gonna just keep getting. I know. God. But they never will. They never will. Because of the Iowa thing.

They're going to just keep getting money, man. We just keep on pouring public funds. Your money, my money, our listeners' money, that money can just

go into their coffers because they're out of school somewhere and they get and they get all they get to have their cake and eat it too. They get to discriminate

to whoever they want and they get to take the tax dollars eat it too. They get to discriminate to whoever they want and they get to take the tax dollars. That's it, right? Yep. All right. Well, big announcement time. So we talked about it. We teased it at the beginning of the show,

but we have a new plan on what we're going to be doing. So, I mean, Tom, I know you said you had written down exactly what we're going to be giving. So, I mean, Tom, I know you said you had written down exactly what we're going to be giving in a pitch. So go ahead and let people know. So just everybody is going to get

four regular Cog Dish shows just like you have now, right? So in a given regular month, everybody's already going to get four regular Cog Dish shows. Now, all listeners are also going to get a goofy news segment show,

which is like a return to what we did during the pandemic times. So we're going to go do that news segment show, which is like a return to what we did during the pandemic times. Yeah. So we're going to go do that again. And all listeners, whether you're a patron or not, you're also going to get a deep dive episode.

Now, if you're a patron, patrons are going to get the four regular shows. You're going to get two goofy news shows. You're going to get a deep dive. You're going to get live stream audio. And you're going to get a deep dive and you're going to get live stream audio and you're going to get no ads yeah and if you're a two dollar and up patron you're going to get four regular cog disc episodes you're going to get two goofy news shows you're going to get the deep dive show and i will read to you the article that we are going to do the deep dive about yeah so we're

going to do a deep dive on a long form article i I will read that article to you. That'll be embedded into your audio. You also get the live stream audio and you get no ads. So there's a lot of bonuses here. Everybody gets more content. A lot of bonuses to be a patron. Even more to be a patron at that $2 and above level. We're going to write all that out

and it'll be on this week's show notes. So if you want to take a look at it, you can go to our website dissonancepod.com and you can look at the sort of breakdown. Here's what we're going to do though. Next month, we're just going to produce the shows and let people listen to it. Everybody gets everything.

So everybody gets everything next month. So this upcoming month, everybody's going to get everything. Get a little taste. So you get a taste to see if you like it. We're going to do it. Just the tip. For everything.

And so you take a listen and see what you think. We're hoping that it's going to, that people are going to enjoy it. We got this survey that we sent out and really what most people said was they really did enjoy the stuff we did during the pandemic. When we did the pandemic, we sort of took a step back

away from very serious stories. And Tom and I have noticed that more and more and more, our stories are very serious on Cognizant and we're not doing anything that's as funny. And we did notice that in the survey, people said they really do enjoy it when we like to joke around with each other and kid around. And they also really very much liked

some of that stuff that we were doing that was funny. They also very much like deep dive stuff that we were doing. That's what you guys told us. And so, you know, the patrons, we had a huge turnout of patrons. I mean, I'm talking about like, you know, hundreds of patrons took this survey. Yeah.

And so we had a big cross-section of people who were mainly saying they didn't really listen to the live stream audio. Some very much liked the live stream. Don't get me wrong. There was a lot of people who sent messages and said they very much like the live stream. Don't get me wrong. There was a lot of people who sent messages and said they very much like the live stream, but there was others who said,

I don't really like it. I don't really like the audio. I don't really. So what we're going to do is we're going to try to make the live stream a little more like the regular show where there's less stuff that we're doing that is off camera,

that people without cameras can't tell what's happening. And so we'll be doing that on the live stream the live stream, um, every month. And we hope that people will enjoy it. We hope that people will like us getting more content out there. Um, that's the big thing is that we, we figured that, you know, like one of the things that we've been wanting to do for a long time is improve the show. And we recognize that what people really like as some of the stuff that we've already done. And we weren't really sure because we were kind of throwing spaghetti against the wall and then we just figured we should just ask

to see what is good. And a lot of people really responded and the numbers were overwhelming in what we decided to do. Yeah, you guys really liked what we did during the pandemic. We're returning to that. We had a lot of fun doing it. We did.

It's such a fun, lighthearted segment. Yeah. It's a joy to do. Yeah. I'm really looking forward to it. We also, we hear you guys that a lot of you guys, it was 50-50 in terms of the numbers. You love the deep dive stuff. We like doing the deep dives too. I know that you guys also, overwhelmingly, like I've said, that you've enjoyed having me narrate things.

You know, we did the Carl Sagan book, our book that I read. So I'll be reading for $2 patrons. I'll be reading you the long form article. So you don't have to sort of infer from the conversation what the content of the article is. You can listen to me, start to finish, read the article, and you get the benefit of the discussion as well. The $2 patrons will get that extra audio in their audio feed, but everybody, everybody gets the discussion. So anybody who's outside of the podcast gets the discussion and we will talk about the article and what it means and whatever.

So I'm not going to like, we're not going to not talk about what it, we like give you a sort of an idea of what it's about. But then there's also, you know, like everybody gets that. So like patrons and other people get that. So it's going to be, it's going to be for everyone. And we hope you guys enjoy that. We think, you know,

Tom and I, we come across these long form articles and we very often, they will take up 20 or 30 minutes of the show easily. Easy. And we can talk about them for a much longer period of time. And so these extra shows that come out on Thursday, they might be a little shorter than a regular Cog Dish show. They're still going to be numbered just like regular, and they're still going to come out just like a regular Cog Dish show would on your feed. So, um, we hope you enjoy them. Send us your, you know, we're, we're also, another important thing too, is we're removing the email segment. Um, we find that, uh, that some of the, some of the stuff that we cover during the week were a couple of, uh, you know, we've got to dig through a ton of email, but then there's also just like, like there's just memes and stuff that people send. And then I just tell you, Hey, we got a

funny meme. We don't know that it adds a ton of stuff to the show. So what we're going to do is from now on, we're just going to skip the email, email section. I will be mentioning the patrons at the beginning of the show from now on. So we're not going to be doing that. So at the end of every show, we'll be talking, we'll be thanking certain people that might've been on the show or whatever. And then we will be talking about where you can listen to us next. And that's really going to be it. We'll also be doing corrections too. So we don't want you to stop sending us your corrections. Please continue to send us your corrections because we always want to be corrected if we say something incorrect and we we will be doing corrections. That might turn into sometimes a correction segment.

We are wrong on occasion and we're happy to get those corrections so we can actually fix things that we say. But we're not going to be just going through and reading email anymore. It doesn't really work for YouTube anyway. We want to try to streamline it so that they both meet.

And just get a tighter program overall. That's a way to tighten the show down, really deliver more content to you guys, our listeners. Yeah, and so that's what we're going to be doing. Expect show 667 this upcoming Thursday. It will release this upcoming Thursday. If you're on YouTube, you can watch it. If you're just listening to it,

it's going to show up in your podcast feed. And for the next two weeks, you'll get a show on Thursday. And then again, live stream on third week of the month. We're going to post the schedule, post everything on this week's show notes, and we'll keep reminding you what's coming out this week. So we'll always remind you what's happening this week. And we hope you guys enjoy this. We hope that this is the right direction. We wanted to try to just change things up a little bit. We wanted to try to just change things up a little bit. Okay, well, so be on the lookout this Thursday for show 667.

And while I'm here, you know what I want to do? I want to congratulate the Scathing Atheist guys. 10 years they've been recording. Holy shit. They did their 10-year anniversary episode this last week. So congratulations to Noah, Heath, and Eli, our colleagues in Citation Needed

is another show that we do with them. 10 years. But they've been doing it for 10 years. I remember the first time that they reached out when they had a new show. I know, yeah. I remember that. I remember that.

God, I can't believe that was 10 years ago. And Noah came on. He was on one of our shows. We were like, I'll show 100 or maybe 50. I'm not sure at the time. We were doing it for a year or two at that. I think it was a couple of years at that point. A couple of years, I think.

And he reached out to us and then we had him on the show and then we just became friends relatively quickly after that. So yeah, so congratulations, Scathing Atheist guys, for putting out 10 years of shows. All right.

See you guys this Thursday, 667. Join us. We're going to do a funny news segment. You're going to want to be there for it, but we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage

death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. expose your sides thrust your hands bloody, evidential conclusive doubt even this The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes

only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you. you