Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 685: LGBTQIA + CIA

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

Show Notes  

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago and beyond. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 685.

I've not yet rewritten that part. I don't know. I was thinking about it this week. You know, though, coincidentally, $685,000. Wasn't that the amount that Clarence Thomas said that he didn't receive and then said he received? Oh, yeah. Ginny's fucking income? Ginny's income?

Yeah. Was it that much money, $685,000? I think it was $685,000. I don't know. Was it $685,000 for Ginny's undisclosed income that he oopsied on his financial disclosures? Or was that the value of his mom's house that a fucking billionaire bought? That she still lives in. That she still lives in.

She still lives in, Tom. This is the most corrupt motherfucker. Look, I'm not in his pocket. Here's the thing, guys. I want you to believe me. I'm not in his pocket. Now, he owns my mom's house. No. And he owns the property you to believe me. I'm not in his pocket. Now, he owns my mom's house. No.

And he owns the property adjacent to my mom. Because he was going to make a Clarence Thomas Museum. A historical museum. Historical museum. And he also renovated his mom's house. He renovated my mom's house. That's because it's going to be a museum ground. Don't be ridiculous to him.

I know I feel stupid. You're making me feel stupid. You know what? You are digging too deep. What a motherfucker this guy is. All right, look, I went on an ultra unbelievably luxury vacation paid for entirely by my billionaire political activist friend who is the landlord to my actual mother.

But everyone's like, oh, undue political influence. What are you talking about? They're all political activists. They're all. We covered this last week. They're all political activists. And the thing is like, if you're a billionaire,

one, you're unethical, right? One, you're not like, you're an awful person. You can't be a billionaire. You're a terrible person,

yeah. And there's no ethical billionaires. There's no. You know, it's so funny because, I don't remember where I saw it, but I saw, I think it was like at some gym Facebook page or something,

but it was like some dumb ass question. It was like, hey, if you won a billion dollars, would you give any of your money to your family and friends? No, absolutely not. I'd make them beg. I would fuck, I would piss on them from an open window as they wept beneath me.

I would take them hunting like fucking Dick Cheney. Are you kidding me? But I chimed in. I was like, because a bunch of people were like, no, I wouldn't do that. Or maybe just for like my, you know, super close family or, you know, my family's never appreciated me or whatever. You could pay off everyone you know and never fucking even notice. So I just did a quick math real quick.

And then I went on Facebook, I went on that page and I was like, hey, just so you guys know, if you gave a hundred friends and family a million dollars each and you had a billion dollars, you would have $900 million left. And if all you did was stick that in a high earning savings account, which would make you an idiot,

you would recoup that money in less than 24 months. So if you gave a million dollars to 100 people as a billionaire, you're a billionaire again in less than two years. It's an amount of money that doesn't even make sense. So you can't be an ethical billionaire because you can't hoard an amount of wealth that intense. I know. It't hoard an amount of wealth that intense. I know. It's an amazing amount of wealth. Right.

And so like the idea that there's this billionaire right-wing political activist who has bought your mother's house that she still – he didn't buy her house, by the way, and she moved out. Yeah, no. She still lives in the house. He's the landlord. That's mom's landlord. Rent-free. Rent-free. She still lives in the house. He's the landlord. That's mom's landlord. Rent free. Rent free. He's living rent free.

Holy shit. What a corrupt piece of shit. And like we said last time, it's all those luxury vacations. And these are just unbelievable. He's been taking this. And I read a story where it talked about a whole bunch of

people, a whole bunch of these justices getting big gifts from people. I read a story that was like, Ginsburg got some big gifts from this guy. Kennedy got some big gifts from this guy. Alito got big gifts from this person. Scalia got a bunch of stuff from this other person. And I'm just like, why is this happening? Why do we allow this to happen? Fuck Ginsburg for doing it. Like, fuck that. You shouldn't have this. This is not a fucking, this isn't your get rich quick scheme. If you love the law, we pay you a good sum of money to do it. Go love the fucking law and go beat, go beat the law or whatever. You know, go beat Judge Dredd. Dredd it up. Go be Judge Dredd and shoot people and make them explode. Talk to your gun.

This isn't a job you should dread. Whatever it is, ride your fucking flying motorcycle home. But man, you definitely like fucking, you have to love this.

And I want to, I just want to go back to you love this shit and you're not corrupt. That's what I want. I don't want fucking corrupt people. There needs to be

something there that stops them from doing this. It's so obscene that these people, and the thing is, is like you just don't understand, you know, fucking, a law can get overturned. A president can come in and out of office

and someone else can come in and change like budgetary stuff. The fucking Supreme Court is generational, man. Yeah, man. It's generational. They changed this. They changed the Roe v. Wade decision came out in 1973, I think it was.

It's now it was a generation that it was in and now it's gone. And now we're going to have this one for a generation. Yep. And then they got enriched by it yep and there's no recourse yeah that's your that's your point right there is no recourse it's not like

yeah we're all mad at clarence thomas and clarence thomas is like do something yeah do something right you can't like he like he's fucking vin diesel in that fucking, like, Dark Stuff movie. Dark Stuff. The Dark Stuff. You know what I'm talking about. What fucking movie am I thinking of? It's exactly the movie. God damn it.

What's the name of the movie? Pitch Black. Pitch Black. Thank you. The Dark Stuff movie. I couldn't remember it. I couldn't remember where he's just like. That's racist.

I'm sorry. Racist. Like, but also, don't, like, I don't know where you, like, at your work, but at my work, we have a corporate gift policy. So I can't accept gifts from vendors or from prospective clients that are over a certain amount. I can't go out to a dinner that's too extravagant with a client. I can't. And I'm meaning not only, and it's strict enough that let's say you're my client and you say, hey, we should

continue this or a vendor. And you say, we should continue this over dinner. I can go out to dinner with you to a reasonable restaurant, right? So we can go someplace. Like a Gibson's or something. I can go to someplace fairly decent, like a Gibson's, right? But which is a nice restaurant. A steakhouse in Chicago for people who don't know. It's like, it's like, you know, be probably paying about a hundred dollars a person. Yeah. So I can go out to that dinner, but I can't even take you out to a dinner nicer than that. So it's not just that

I can't even accept gifts that are work-related over a certain amount. You can't give gifts. I can't give a gift that I might also be enriched by, right? Because I would also,

let's say I went out to a $400 dinner. Well, like maybe I'm just juicing the company then for 400 bucks on a client that's never going to sign. So corporations have gift policies to prevent ethical violations. But the fucking Supreme Court doesn't seem to have a gift policy? Every November, I work for a university. Every November, every single university employee,

that includes student workers, right? So when you're in college, you sometimes go work for the university, right? They pay for part of your tuition and you work for the university. I did this through my whole time when I was in college. I worked a full-time job and then also worked at the university as well.

That fucking, everybody at the university has to take the same quiz and the quiz is like really obvious sexual harassment stuff really obvious like what do you do during a fire stuff and then really obvious don't be corrupt on the job stuff. Yeah, yeah. Where it's, hey, your uncle runs a graphic design company. You know you need some stuff done to some signs printed. So you call him on the phone and you order 500 signs through the university. You need them done. Is this okay? What should you have done instead?

And it's like, you need to like run it past like people in our, like, because there's like, you're not allowed to just nepotistically hire your cousin who has a thing. It has to go through like this big, long chain of like everything in triplicate in order for it to even get past. I work at like a university, man. Like I work at, I'm a nobody at a nobody institution. And you're, you're signing off on it. And I have to go through this every year. The people who report to me, the student workers who report to me have to do the same thing. They don't even care. And they have to go through it. And Clarence Thomas doesn't. Isn't there like a November, November, they got to click,

at least click through something? I know. That's what I mean. Come on, man. Where's your fucking snooze, snooze compliance training? I want to fire every single person on the Supreme Court Human Resources Department. I want to fire every one of them. Isn't it wild that we have no way to recall them? Nothing. We have no way as citizens to do anything. Well, you can't recall them. We can impeach them, but it's an impossible task.

There's never going to be a time, because I'm pretty sure, and I'm sure we'll get emails about it, but I'm pretty sure the impeachment is going to be the same impeachment it would be for a president, which is two-thirds of the Senate. You're never going to get there. Two-thirds of the Senate? When was the last time that fucking happened? The Civil War?

What are we talking about here? We can't get two-thirds of the Senate to agree to take a piss in a 48-hour window. Are talking about here? We can't get two thirds of the Senate to agree to take a piss in a 48 hour window. Like, are you kidding me? They won't agree on anything. It's impossible. There's no way it's going to work.

So he's in there. So he's in there until he dies. You know, I was just thinking, Congress, before they swear Congress in, Congress should be required to order pizza together. And if they can't figure out how to order fucking pizza together, everybody's fired. You're all fired. You're

all fired. We're going to just start all over. Look, you're going to work together. The test is the pizza test. You've got one hour, 500 people. It's going to be a bitch. We're going to order pizzas. If you guys can't figure out how to order fucking pizzas, how are you going to decide on the budget? You're all fired. I know you're kidding, but I would say not only is that a brilliant plan, but I also think too, you mentioned it a few seconds ago, there should genuinely be brought up in every place, in every single office, high office in the land, a recall process. Yeah, man. Yes. Every single one should have a, there should be a no confidence vote. That's democracy, dude. You should have a no confidence vote. Be like,, dude. You should have a no confidence vote.

Be like, I don't have any confidence in you. We're going to call a no confidence vote. And then the president, president, sorry, we're going to recall your shit. And then, you know, the party that we elected, they get to pick a new one or whatever, like the prime minister in fucking the UK or whatever, when they were in Canada,

when they fucking get removed. If you lose the faith of your constituency, you should not be able to write out your term, especially if your term is my whole life. Well, yeah, that's even worse.

My whole actual life. It's outrageous. I am the creator of a television show that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions. So this story comes to the New York Times.

Fox will pay $787.5 million to settle defamation suit with Dominion Voting Systems. So now, let's say you're on Facebook and they say, if I give you $785 million, would you share it with your friends? Tom, Tom,

you know, there's a lot of reasons you settle. Yes. there's a lot of reasons you settle. Yes. There's a lot of reasons you settle. Yeah, sure. You got married too early. Whatever. Low self-esteem. What I mean is like, yeah, there's a lot.

There's a lot that goes into that. Your foundation sinks into the ground a little. No, but there's a lot of reasons that a court case would settle. There's a lot that goes into that. Your foundation sinks into the ground a little. Termites. There's a lot of reasons that a court case would settle. There's a lot of reasons. Sometimes, sometimes it's because it's too much effort and it would cost too much to run this trial, say for lawyers fees or things like that,

or it would just be too much work to do any of that. So instead you'll just settle before the actual court case. Cheaper to settle than fight. Sometimes it's cheaper to settle when that number is in the thousands. Yes. Not when that number is three quarter billion dollars. It's never when that number is in the hundreds of millions.

It is so much. And the only reason you settle, the only reason I think you settle this is because they already started bringing out the sort of antagonistic comments that the hosts have towards the viewers on those shows. And they recognize that their brand would be dragged through the mud if they did this.

I think the sad thing is, is that they only had to say, I think like some really weak sauce, sort of the election was false. Yeah, they had to like, they had to, they had to like, there was some blandishments.

They didn't have to actually admit any fault. Yeah. But if you're paying attention at all, even the slightest bit, by accident from your fucking left eye only, you know three quarters of a billion dollars didn't get shelled out because they thought they'd win.

Yeah. You know? Oh, no, they didn't think they were going to win. They knew they were going to get fucking stomped. They not only thought they were going to win, they thought they were going to lose more than that. Yeah. Or they wouldn't have fucking paid that much. Exactly. The lawsuit that Dominion brought, they were seeking

$1.6 billion. So they got about half of what they... I originally thought it was only a billion, but it's $1.6. They got about half of what they were asking for. And just straight up... And by the way, that represents about a little less than a quarter of all of Fox's cash reserves. So Fox is worth in cash reserves right now, about $4.1 billion. So they're worth just a fucking metric shit ton of money, but this is still an enormous blow. Like this is a huge amount of money. And I'm super disappointed to be honest. I really, really wish that Dominion had taken this all the way through trial. You know, they got to day one of the trial. They both played chicken. They got to day one and Fox blinked,

right? And Fox said, all right, here's your check for $787.5 million. But I wish they hadn't done that because I really think the transparency of a trial is what we needed. That's what America needed. Right. And I know that's not what Dominion had a responsibility to do.

But it is what I think the social consciousness needed. Yes. It's what our dialogue needed. Yeah. It needed, because now when you go to the in-law's house or whatever

on whatever holidays coming up, Memorial Day or Fourth of July or whatever, and you show up, you can have a conversation about this, but I think there still is plausible deniability on their part to be like, no, those courts are rigged. Right, yeah, it's still weak, insane, conspiratorial. But you don't understand how a settlement works because the court didn't do anything. Court didn't. Yeah.

The courts don't do anything. It wasn't like the guy. And you can't appeal this. It's not like, like if it's a decision, you can appeal it. Right. But a settlement is just an agreement.

So it's not like you can be like, well, now that I gave you all that money, I would like to take this to an appeals court. No, sorry. That's not how this works. I'm curious,

and maybe a listener will know because I'm not a law talkie guy, but let's say they do the same thing because they're going to go after everybody. So they're going to go after Newsmax. They're going to go after OAN.

All the networks that were out there that were blabbing their mouth. And this is not a good look now that you beat the big one. Oh, no. And you beat the one that was saying the less crazy stuff. And this is not a good look now that you beat the big one. Oh, no. And you beat the one that was saying

the less crazy stuff. Yeah, if you're OAN and Newsmax, I mean, you're selling the fucking stapler. I would sell every screw in your desk right now for scrap at this point. Sharpen your resume. But here's the thing. They'll sue them out of existence

and they'll take all their assets and whatever. But then you get somebody like Sidney Powell, who is, one, either an absolute troll or a crazy person or three. Yeah. I was going to say, she's whatever she's. Yeah. Right. In any case, she can, if she gets sued, let's say they sue her for a billion dollars and they win. Let's say they win. What stops her after they've already sued her for a billion dollars from just saying that stuff in perpetuity? Is there a thing that can stop someone, even after you've sued them, from saying something that is false publicly? I think they could sue her again. But what would it do? I mean, you didn't get a billion dollars already. Let's say they sue her for a hundred million dollars. And from now on, I know for the rest

of my life, my checks are garnished. I'll never earn more than X amount of dollars. Cause there's, I'll never. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And they can't garnish past a certain point. At this point, you can't squeeze blood. So can she just in perpetuity be like, they're a Ponzi scheme, they're a fraud, whatever she wants. I don't know. Is there anything in the law? Because I don't know. I wonder if she could be held in contempt of court. Oh, I don't know. I don't know either.

I genuinely have no idea. It's a good question. I'm curious. It's a really good question. Can you just like, can you just like fucking scorched earth? Yeah. Is Alex Jones free now? Yeah.

Is he free now? Can we take the leash off of him? Yeah. I'm curious. Can you just keep saying stuff from this point on forever now? Because there's no more blood you can get in this stone. Right, that's true,

because it's all civil penalties. Yeah. So at some point, the civil penalties reach a level where they're just, they don't matter anymore. Yeah, it's like- Yeah, right.

It's like fucking, whose line is it anyway? The points don't matter. Yeah, exactly. You know, one other thing that I think is fun is that, yeah, this is Dominion suing Fox, but Smartmatic is also suing Fox for a billion dollars.

Are they really? Yeah. Smartmatic and Smartmatic's lawyers were like, yeah, there's fucking blood in the water and we're coming to get it, basically, is what they said. They're like, they said something to the effect of, you know, Dominion showed America, you know, just the tip of what we will show that Fox has said. So they're basically like, awesome. We'll finish the fucking job. We'll come with Fox. You got receipts.

We'll take your receipts. We'll bring more receipts. Please don't settle. Because I really want to see like what I want to see is all this stuff keep continue getting set in court because it's not leaked. Right. It's just it's discovery. So they found this stuff.

And then now they're saying like, here's a text from Tucker Carlson to his assistant who's saying, fuck all these mouth-breathing fucking junkies who watch me every day. I hope they burn in a fire or something. And then you'd be like, and then there's a million texts like that.

And there's a million texts back and forth where they're like, I know he didn't steal the election. Like, I want to see all of it. All of it. I want to see them all. I know, all of it. And we can if they don't settle. Yeah, 100%. So my strong, because there's a bunch of folks suing Fox. And I think Fox right now by settling this lawsuit, and now we know all this, we've got all these crazy amount of receipts, they're weaker than they were before. Every time this happens, they're weaker.

If Smartmatic comes after them and they have to give Smartmatic three quarters of a billion dollars, where now they're down to from 4 billion, now they're down to a little over 2 billion. That's a massive devaluation of your overall corporate asset. And then are people going to be excited to buy your stock? Yeah. I don't know. I think it would hurt your stock. So they could have an accelerating effect that damages the overall viability of their business model. I just want to get Tucker Carlson's bow tie collection.

Dude, yes. God, that would be so amazing. Here are my fucking dream goals in life. I want the InfoWars desk. InfoWars desk. And I want Tucker Carlson's fucking bow tie collection in a display box behind me at the InfoWars desk. And I want Tucker Carlson's fucking bow tie collection in a display box behind me at the InfoWars desk. And here's what I want. I want someone to shave Laura Ingram's head.

And I want to wear her hair as a wig. That's what I want. That's what I want. Someone make that, well, no, okay. Don't make that happen. I want to wear it as a mullet is what I want to wear it as. I want to sue her so bad that she has to shave her hair for money. She has to shave her hair because she's working in a glue factory

and it's getting caught up in there or whatever. God. That's what I want. The greatest day on earth would be to see the collapse of Fox. Oh, God. I mean, I remember Cecil

in the 90s when you and I, well, at least when I first became sort of like politically aware in a significant way and socially aware in a significant way. And I remember like watching like Michael Moore documentaries and like learning about Fox and learning and just, and then you start seeing how slanted that news was. And like during the George W. Bush era, seeing how they became, you know, really a bullhorn of the right and that expansion of Fox into that space. And really,

everybody was calling it out 30 years ago, three decades ago. People were like, Fox is one of the most dangerous things that's out there right now. And they weren't wrong. No.

Like none of those lamentations of the 90s were wrong. It wasn't an overreaction. No. The only thing that got wrong was the scale and scope. Yeah. And they underestimated it. Yeah.

You're right. And that's it. It's such a good thing to see fall. Yes. Because it's one of those things that is a, it's a driver of misinformation. And it's also still one of those things that people think

is a trusted source. Right, which is insane. So, I think that's the tough part is that you won't recognize that it's all just commentary. Right?

Like, when I watch MSNBC, I know it's all just commentary. Right. There's nothing, there's no news. It's not hard news. They're not telling me news,

they're telling me commentary. So, you take that as it is. You just like, it's all commentary. This isn't investigative reporting, that as it is. You just like, is this kind of, it's all commentary. This is an investigative reporting. It's just, it's just fucking, it's just them repeating some other story that someone else did all the hard work on. Just like what we do. I mean, this is not hard news. This is all opinion. So I recognize what it is,

but I think like the problem is, is that, is that I think a lot of people think that Fox is, is better. Yeah. And you're like, no, it's the same thing. It's the same trash thing. When you go, I'm curious if you encounter this, when you go to sort of like public commercial spaces that have television. So thinking of like, not the dentist's office, the dentist's office always has HGTV on, no matter what dentist you go to. But like, you know, when you go to like a gym or when you go to like the doctor's office. It's

Fox. It's HGTV. When I go to the barber, she's always watching this dumbass impractical Joker show. Oh my God. And I'm just like, I'll fucking punch myself in the balls. Watch this. But so I don't ever really encounter Fox in the, or peenally to not watch this. But, so, I don't ever really

encounter Fox in the, the only time I encounter it is like, if I go out to a restaurant and I'm eating and there's a bunch of screens, there almost,

invariably is one that is on Fox. And then there's a bunch of others that are on like, tennis or something. Yeah. Yeah. There's like,

Fox and sports in places. When I go to like, when I go to the gym in the locker room, there's TVs in the locker room at the gym I go to. And one of them is always tuned to Fox. The other one is tuned to sports. I see it if you get your car repaired and you're in the waiting room for like the Jiffy Lube. Yeah. It's on Fox.

You know, so like I see Fox all the time in these sort of like commercial public spaces. Doctors and dentist offices, for whatever reason, I think they're actually required by law to have HGTV on. I think they have to have dream home makeovers. We're going to flip this house! We will flip it! One day, one day,

I want to see them actually pick the house and fucking flip that thing. I want to watch like fucking, like an ex-drill sergeant do that. He just screams at people the whole time. That's what I want. Mix that together. Yes. Mix that together. Some sort of like hazing and flipping a house.

That's what I want to see. I want to see that. I want to see that. I want to see that drill sergeant in the foreground of the shot. In the background of the shot, I want to see the actual house. And behind that, invisible in the first shot, is an excavator. Right? And I want him

to be like, we're going to flip this house! And then that excavator fucking picks that pig up and fucking tosses it. It's like, boom! I would watch the shit. That was the show every day. They just literally flipped every house. I would watch. That would be the best show in the world. I would love the shit. That was the show every day. Yeah. Where they just literally flipped every house. I would watch that.

That would be the best show in the world. I would love to watch a combination of the impractical jokers and a flip this house. Like, can we just like peanut butter and chocolate

that shit together where somebody's like, oh, they're going to make, oh, the HGTV guys are going to come like make my house all pretty. It's lit on fire. And they come in

and like fucking wrecking ball that shit. It's like two guys with flame throws. And they come in and fucking wrecking ball that shit. It's like two guys in flamethrowers. And then they show up and they're like, move that bus! And they move the bus! And then they run right into the house!

Move that bus! Move that bus! And they light a fuse and the bus explodes. And then a Sarah McLachlan song comes on and it's the end of the show. And you see their drapes slowly fall to the ground.

The drapes. And then the camera slow pans to the drapes which settle and then one... I will remember you. And one family photo flutters to the top of it. Amazing.

Why am I not a TV producer? We could make the best shows. Who wouldn't watch that show? I know a lot of people would sign up to be on it after the first guy. You know, come to think of it, my grandmother was kind of a racist. Dude, this is beyond upsetting. This story comes, we have to talk about it though. It's in the New York Times.

It's also everywhere. Shooting of teen who rang doorbell at wrong house unsettles Kansas City. Also unsettles everybody with a conscience. Yeah, yeah. Everybody with a conscience. This is here, like the facts of this story are so absurdly simple.

A 16 year old kid was running an errand for his mom. His mom's like, hey, can you go pick up your younger siblings? And he went to the wrong house. He just got mixed up. Yeah. And he was streets with similar names. Yeah. Yeah. A court and like a place or something. And I have 16-year-old kids and then I have younger kids. And Haley and I were talking like, it's an entirely plausible scenario that like the younger kids could be at a friend's house and i could be like hey finn can you go you know here's the keys can you go grab your brother real quick and drive him home sure dad and then he gets fucking shot by a bigot who like an 84 year old

fucking bigot who shoots the guy and the police said this thing had a racial motive like the police have come out and been like yeah race, race was absolutely a motive here. This 16 year old, they said they didn't even exchange words. Yeah. He, he rung the doorbell and then the guy came to the door and just started blasting. Just shot him twice, shot him in the head and then shot him again while he was on the ground. This kid's going to make a full recovery. That is the most amazing thing. When they said he shot him in the head, I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, oh no. And then they're like, no, he's going to make a full recovery. He walked out of the hospital.

Unbelievably lucky. I was like, oh, that's great news. But I will say, you know, this is always, we can always go back to the place where the reason why I think people fear in their homes. And I think the reason why people have, it's why people have guns, is because they're afraid of guns. Sure, yeah, right. You know, like we start taking guns out of the equation.

How often does something like this happen in the UK? Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't happen. Structurally can't happen. It can't happen, right? Somebody can knock on a door over there, and then they're like, okay, well, I just won't answer the door. Right. And then that's the end of the, that's the end of the

entire conversation. But like, if I'm afraid of guns, I like, this is like such a, this is such a sticking point problem for me with this story is that, and here's, and here's why I have absolutely no mercy for this guy. And I know you don't either, and that's not what you're going at, but like, if you're afraid, you don't have to go And I know you don't either. I know that's not what you're going at. But like, if you're afraid, you don't have to go to the confrontation. Yeah, you could just stay back. You could like, no, this guy,

this guy's looking for a reason to pull out his gun. Exactly. Yeah. And like, that is something that guns give people. They give people a false sense

of like, I'm not afraid of that confrontation. Because if you're really afraid in your house and you're unarmed, you don't go to the door. You peek through the window. Oh, I don't feel comfortable.

You don't answer the door. Problem fucking solved. You pick up the phone if you're real scared and you call the cops and you wait and you barricade yourself in another room.

There's a hundred things you do if you really think you're afraid. You can be non-confrontational and still survive. Right. A guy knocking on your door. But these motherfuckers with their fucking

32 caliber muscles that walk to the goddamn door with their fucking flex strength of their fucking gun that they've got. They're walking in. They're feeling in the power position. That gun gives them a feeling. Absolutely. And like, we got to get rid of that shit. We got to get rid of these dirty, hairy ass motherfuckers who feel like they're something. We've got to get rid of these dirty, hairy-ass motherfuckers who feel like they're something.

This is the scenario, though, that the NRA talks about all the time. Protecting your house with a gun, right? From what, right? If there was no guns out there, what do you need to protect your house from? Right, I know. I don't need to protect my house from anybody with a gun if guns aren't wildly available in the country. So what do I need to protect? I'm literally stacking guns on guns to prevent guns from firing against guns against guns. I know.

Like, it's just, it's a dumb equation. It's a stupid equation. It's a semi-automatic Ouroboros. Over and over and over and over. and we keep doing it. It's a semi-automatic Ouroboros. Over and over and over and over

and it's really frustrating because people lose their life for no reason. I mean, like, it's not the old west. There's no reason to have this anymore. No.

We don't need this anymore. We don't fucking need them. There was another story and I didn't put it in the notes because it didn't have the racial component to it, but there was another story same day that this happened

where in upstate New York, I saw a girl got shot. Some girl just was turning around in someone's driveway. She was leaving their driveway. And they came out and shot them. Could you imagine? I've turned around in people's driveway a bunch. I can't even tell you how many times. I do it all the time. Like I'm like, oh, I messed up. I messed up. I got to turn around. Could you imagine getting shot, just pulling into somebody's driveway? Like, what do we think? What is happening with our consciousness,

our collective consciousness, where we think that's okay? Where we think somebody came near me and I didn't even bother to find out what was happening, but I'm allowed to kill them. Yeah, and why are we so afraid? Yeah. We don't live in the purge. Yeah. We don't, but we're being sold. In fact, I'm going to, I'm going to grab my

phone a second, read something. We are being sold an idea that we live in a hostile, dangerous, unfriendly world, but the people who are making it hostile and dangerous and unfriendly are the motherfuckers who are trying to protect themselves from a world they don't live in. Yeah. So, and I think this, like, there's this like little statement that popped up in a Facebook feed. So I'm in this like home gym community thing on Facebook, which is super weird. I'm on it to get like tips on how to build a home gym, but there's a whole culture that's built around this that like, I am not the target market for, right? But somebody posted a thing on their home gym wall.

I'm going to read it. And it had 500-some comments on it. And I don't even know how many likes, like a couple thousand likes. Your enemies can take a day off. As the protector of your family, you are not allowed that luxury. Hashtag get some. What? Your enemies can take a day off.

As the protector of your family, you are not allowed that luxury. And I read that. Here's the thing though. Admittedly, somebody breaks into my house, I am faster than Sarah. I will get up.

I will push her to the ground. I will check her into the boards and continue running. I'll throw a cat at them and I will continue running off into the distance. You don't have to be faster than the bear. I don't.

You just have to be faster than your friend. I just have to be faster than Sarah to get out of this house. I don't ever take a day off by checking Sarah into the board. What is that? Well, like,

I take exception to the your enemies. I don't have enemies. What are you talking about? What are you talking about enemies? You're not John Wick, motherfuckers.

What are you talking about enemies? You're not fucking Liam Neeson. No one's breaking into your house and stealing your daughter. Somebody breaks

into their house and shoots their kettlebell. Right? I'm mad about it. What is wrong with you? But there's this, but it is like part of that like right wing.

It's a Charlie Bronson culture. But they all, they believe there's enemies. They believe that the world is divided and good and bad and evil too though. Right. Like, like, you know, when you simplify, I mean, this goes back to religion. We talk about how religion simplifies people's worldview to make them idiots. Right. Right. This is exactly, this is perfect. Exactly how religion simplifies your worldview to turn you into an absolute blithering fool. Right.

Because there's, one, there's no enemy. Like, what's your enemy? Like, I don't, can you think through your life, like your whole life? An enemy? I have an enemy.

I have like an arch nemesis. Right. I'm not a superhero. What am I? I'm not getting dressed. I don't have a fucking utility belt. I'm arch nemesis. Right. I'm not a superhero. What? I'm not getting dressed. I don't have a fucking utility belt. I'm not the punisher. Like,

get the fuck out of here. What are you talking? It's such a tool thing to say. But you know what? Like, all those guys in your circle jerk thing, they're going to jerk off

each other and be like, yeah, man. They love it. You're a badass, bro. They love it, dude. They love it. Do more burpees. It's exactly right yeah they fucking love it

and i saw i stumbled across it i'm like god i just want out of here i just want to learn like your gym stuff yeah like i just tell me your gym stuff and give me your gym secrets yeah for real it's like all right like i got some good tips out of this i'm about to bail yeah fucking your enemies what the fuck enemies do you have you're unimportant speaking of bail this guy was this guy was initially the guy who shot this this young black kid he was not arrested which is insane but then they eventually did arrest him and they charged him with like aggravated assault um you know because the kid's still alive so you know it carries a penalty of life yeah it carries a potential penalty of life he's 84 he's, it carries a penalty of life. Yeah. It carries a potential penalty of life. He's 84. He's 84. Everything's a penalty of life. He could spend, he could spend one night in the jail and it could be a penalty of life. And I do want to talk about that real quick,

because this is the part of me that like, is just like, I don't care that he's old. Yeah. You know, I don't care that he's old. There's like, I, you know, I read comments and stuff and people are like, oh, you got to like take into account his age. I'm like, no, you don't. No, you don't. Because he had a goddamn gun. The guy was like, he is an 84-year-old adult. He is not, like, unless he has straight-up dementia, unless they can prove that he is not of sound mind, as long as he has sound mind, that's it.

I don't give a fuck that he's 84. That's not different than him being 45. If he's got dementia, fine. But if he doesn't have dementia, that guy is 100% culpable. No like, like old man sympathy. Like, fuck that. I don't mean that. No, I mean, but I also want to point out too, and I think this is important. You know, a lot of people seem to think that you can just shoot people if they're near your property or on your property. That's not true. Okay. You can't just pull your gun out and start blasting. Hell, I can't even, if somebody breaks into my house and I see them and I say something, I can't just in Illinois, just pull my gun out and shoot them because they're in my house. I'm not allowed to do that. If they like came at me and I was fearing for my life,

maybe I could and maybe I could get away with it. But any other situation where somebody is like rattling my, my shutter outside and I walk outside and plug them. No, like that's not allowed. Like you're not allowed to do that in, in a lot of places in most states, you're not allowed to do that. And the thing is, is like, we've, we've played up the NRA of course of places in this country. In most states. You're not allowed to do that.

And the thing is, is like, we've played up, the NRA, of course, has played up this stuff and a bunch of people like in, you know, like clearly in like movies and all kinds of other stuff have played up this idea that like, you can just start blasting at any point. And it's like, there's like, I, we've talked about this before.

We got our concealed carries. Yeah. And we don't carry because we're afraid of the fact that if we did use it, we'd be terrified that we would get, like, thrown away in jail. Oh, yeah. Because the decision-making process and actually using it is more scary than actually, like, not having the gun on you. Right, yeah. having the gun on you. Right. The decision-making process, the things I have to do in the flow chart in my head to make sure I'm okay to even shoot the gun, let alone pull it out or whatever, is enough for me to say, I don't want it on me. I don't want to have to go through that. My option should always just be like, let me go away from this problem. 100%. That should be

always, I just don't want to go, I just want to go away. And so, you know, like the, the, the problem is, is that there's this, there's this whole slew of people out there who have this, like that Charlie Bronson mentality. And then it's reinforced by places, by things like the NRA that make people think like, you can just be fucking Yosemite Sam, as long as you can prove that like somebody came near you once. Yep. Well, and again, like, I, and you hit on it again, like I think the gun gives a lot of people the, it sort of reduces in their mind the validity of the option of fleeing when fleeing a conflict is always the safest thing to do. Not being in the conflict is always the safest thing to do, but you put a gun in someone's

hands and all of a sudden they don't really want to flee. They're not as anxious to get the fuck out of Dodge. I watched this video of this guy and I followed him on Spotify. He's got a podcast. I can't remember his name. I stopped following him about a year or two back, but he's a former Navy SEAL,

like a SEAL Team Six guy. And he now does like a whole bunch of like corporate speaking. And he's actually a Navy SEAL, like a, you know, SEAL Team 6 guy. And he now does like a whole bunch of like corporate speaking. And he's actually a really an interesting speaker. I don't always agree with everything he says, but he's actually like a really interesting, thoughtful guy. And like, he's got this thing where like people are like, they find out that he's like this Navy SEAL and he's done all this like, you know, quote unquote, bad-ass stuff. And they ask him like, you know, what tips would you give to survive a street fight? And he's like, run away from it. Run away from it. He's like, he's like, run away from it. Run away from it.

He's like, I have run away from more fights than I've gotten into. He's like, I would run away from a fight. He's like, why do you fight two guys? You run twice as fast. And this is a guy. He's like, you don't know what's going to go wrong. He's like, you run. He's like, run, run, run.

That is the thing. But, like, you put a gun in people's hands, they stop. They don't run. Yeah. He's like, you run. Yeah. He's like, run, run, run. That is the thing. But like you put a gun in people's hands, they stop, they don't run. Yeah. No, I, there's a, I'll tell a later, very quick story. When I first got my concealed carry, I had my gun on me in my car.

And I, for a couple of weeks, I was carrying it to see what it felt like, just to see what, you know. And Chicago traffic's always crazy. And somebody cut me off and I honked at it. And what it felt like, just to see what, you know. And Chicago traffic's always crazy. And somebody cut me off and I honked at it. And I did not like crazy. I just honked at him. And the guy started flipping me off.

And I'm just sitting there. I'm not doing anything. And then the guy got out of his car. Right. And he started to turn and come towards me. And I, like my first thought was like a panic thought because I'm like, I have a gun on me. Yeah.

What's going to happen if I have my gun on me and we get into a fight or whatever? The guy got into his car. But if the gun wasn't in that equation, my thought would have been, I'll just drive away. Right. Like I'll just drive, I'll drive out of the sidewalk and I'll get away from you.

Like I'll just go away from like, I can always get away from you. Yep. And like, the thing is that the gun just adds to your anxiety. At least it did for me. Well, I think that gun objectively made you less safe, right? Yeah. If that guy had walked up to your car and you had that gun,

and even if you hadn't, what if he looked in your car and he saw your gun, he pulled out his gun? Absolutely. Because, but maybe he wouldn't have until he saw your gun. Yeah. But your gun made him pull out his gun. Now you guys are in a fucking gunfight.

A gunfight because somebody honked at somebody. Right. For what? Yeah. For what? You know, a fistfight can turn into a gunfight like that. Like that. For no reason.

Or a no fight can turn into a gunfight. Yeah. And it can always be de-escalated with me getting away. Right. You know what I mean? Yep. All right, well, burn him alive or drown him as long as he's on hell ground.

This story comes from Jezebel. Top MAGA organizer says, this is too gay when asked about having solicited nudes from teen boys. So this is that Ali Alexander guy. Yeah, Ali Alexander. He was a big Stop the Steal organizer.

He was a big personality in Stop the Steal. He was one of the people, like literally one of the people who they were building that entire event around. Yep. Yep.

So, um, and I, what I want to read parts of this article, pro Trump Stop the Steal organizer, Ali Alexander, who was accused of soliciting nude photos from at least two teenage boys has denied anything unlawful in a statement straight out of 2007. This is too gay. Alexander said on Telegram. I don't even understand that response. I don't even understand it either. Thank you.

I read this article twice and I was like, what? Here's the thing. He admits to having, they always do this thing where they make it, they treat it kind of like drug use, where they're like, oh, I was weak and I succumbed to my wily ways. And I was just for a little while,

just wanted to be a little gay. But now I prayed real hard about it and I'm not gay anymore. But I was for a few minutes. I was totally gay for a minute. And then I wasn't anymore. I'm only gay when I'm horny. And here's the thing, right?

Like he even says like, you know, I've been battling this. Like they think it's a battle. I know. Like they battle against their own sexuality. Like they battle against this stuff because they wouldn't be taken seriously by that realm of people, by that political sphere if they were gay.

They wouldn't be taken seriously and they know it. So they hide it. But then this guy is like, he's, he's a gay guy. Right. Yeah.

And so like, he's having all these problems, but also genuinely a creep. Right. Because he's going out of his way. You know, when we talk about, they talk about groomers.

They're like, they just keep on saying the fucking, like they keep on like, like telling on themselves. Yes. Absolutely. Over and over telling on themselves. We're just like this, this guy is soliciting nudes from a person who's an, uh, like a sophomore in high school. Yeah. How in the world is that not? When he says he didn't do anything unlawful, it's like, yeah, you did, man! You're soliciting a minor for sexual material. That's

fucking, that's gross. That is fucking as illegal as it gets. Soliciting, like, soliciting dick pics or whatever it is you're asking for, that's child sexual abuse material. That's what they're soliciting. They are, like, that's a felony. What do you mean you didn't

do anything unlawful? And I want to read like exactly the language you were referring to. While my audience is familiar with me battling same-sex attractions, others aren't as familiar. I apologize for any inappropriate messages sent over the years. Forgive me. And then he gets super weird about it, guys. Like even weirder. While having repented before God and confessed at church, I want my supporters and those involved to hear my apology today when I've flirted or others have flirted with me, I've flexed my credentials or dropped corny picket pickup lines. Other times I've been careless and should have qualified those coming up to

me as identities during flirtatious banter at the start. Dude, it just be gay. Just be gay and hit on people your own age. I want to just say too, like, like I'm not sure he's gay. Just be gay and hit on people your own age. I want to just say, too, like, I'm not sure he's gay. I think he might be a pedophile. Oh, that's very possible. I'm not sure he's gay.

I have no idea if he's gay, right? He says he's gay. But to be honest, gay people like people who are of age. Appropriately aged. They're appropriately aged. I'm a heterosexual. I like women that are of an age. I don't like young women. I don't like little kids. So here's the thing, man. I'm not sure he's gay. I have no idea if he's gay. What I know is he, he, and I said it earlier when I said, when I was talking about Gabe, but that's because that's what he said. Right.

But I don't, I have no idea. Right. No, you're right. And you're exactly right about the groomer shit because this keeps coming up. Yeah. Only with the right wing figures. It comes up with their church leaders. It comes up with their political leaders.

It comes up with people in their inner circles. Fucking look at Matt Gaetz. Matt Gaetz, man. Look at fucking Matt Gaetz. What is even happening with that, by the way? Nothing. It got dropped. It got dropped? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it got dropped. God damn it.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it got dropped. God damn it. I was hoping he'd go to fucking prison for that. I was hoping he would too. But you're not wrong. This is them basically just projecting. They're just projecting the things that they're doing on other people. This guy, huge big deal and on the right, he used his

right wing sort of power to flex and tell this young boy that he could introduce him to Milo Yiannopoulos. Which, by the way, Milo's the guy that

leaked all of this material because evidently they're in some weird we're not gay, I promise fight with each other. Milo and Ali Alexander are in some kind of weird fucking rap battle with each other. It's weird to me too

because I thought Milo was 100% down with pedophilia. Well, yeah, because that's why he got kicked off of Twitter was for basically defending pedophilia during certain exchanges. I have no idea what's going on with either of that. I don't know what's going on with either of them at all. But I'm watching them fucking self-destruct. Yeah. Watching these fucking monsters blow themselves up.

Good. Good. Good. Bye. It's going to happen to a nicer group of assholes. Bye. They look like they're from the CIA or something. All right,

this story comes from The Independent. I just have to read chunks of it because it's fucking amazing. Conservatives push wild conspiracy theory that Bud Light is being run by the CIA

in secret woke warfare. It's woke-fair. Thank you very much. This, I do want to mention. The backflips. I do want to mention, though,ips. I do want to mention though because Anheuser-Busch

I think quietly reminded a bunch of big, big Republicans that they donate a lot of money to the Republican Party. Yeah, like so much. It's like a lot that Donald Trump Jr. came out and was like,

hey guys, maybe we shouldn't be public canceling Bud Light because they sometimes give money to us oh god did he really he got fucking trashed for it

he got thumped for it yeah but but he was one of these people who's like come on they're not a woke organization come on guys

no they just did something and it's it's fucking money talks none of these people guys none of these people believe any of this stuff. They don't believe a second of this stuff. And also, Anheuser-Busch

doesn't believe any of it either. The only reason why they want Republicans, the only reason why they want to give money to Republicans is so they give money to all the parties so they know that they're fucking, they can grease any palm. That's exactly it. It doesn't matter. These people don't care. None of these people care.

They keep manipulating everybody involved in this whole equation by convincing them that they care about gay people or trans people. No corporation is your ally. And none of these people either that are on the other side that are attacking this corporation

believe it either. No, this is all liars lying to whip up idiots and and that's all it is and you recognize the moment they have to roll that back because they recognize where their fucking bread is buttered yeah yeah you know then you're fucking then this isn't a values thing no this was never a value it was only it was always an outrage thing for you you know what always an outrage here. Here's what I'll believe that corporations have values. When I can interview not a person from,

but when I can interview the corporation itself. Yeah. When Anheuser-Busch can sit in a chair across from me and have a conversation. No, that's not possible.

Not yet. Because it's not a person. AI will make that happen. Yeah, I was going to say Anheuser-Busch GPT. Yeah. It's all fucking drunk on fucking GPT light.

It basically, my dad, when I was growing up, was just yelling at me from the couch the whole time. Turn the TV! I want to watch TV.

Why is that fucking GPT? Whale of Fortune is on! Why is that GPT walking around in the middle of the day and it's tighty-whities? What the fuck? Just hanging off his ass.

Walking around. Some conservatives upset with Anheuser-Busch over a minor ad campaign featuring a trans influencer now believes the company's CEO was put in charge of the company in order to make the company woke.

It was a small ad, too. It was on, it was on, like, Instagram or something. It was a nothing ad. It was a nothing ad. It wasn't like, this isn't like,

this isn't like one of these, you know, when all those people got mad because there was like an interracial couple on a Cheerios commercial. Yeah, right. It wasn't even that big.

It wasn't even that, yeah. What I am enjoying very much. It's just as embarrassing, by the way. I don't want to say it's just as embarrassing. It is embarrassing. It is embarrassing

because we're a fucking trash country. So this, like the idea that this is a wedge issue just is embarrassing. Like we shouldn't, this shouldn't be possible for that this is a wedge issue just is embarrassing. Like we shouldn't, this shouldn't be possible for this to be a wedge issue, but it also feels,

and I'm kind of enjoying too, when like Ron DeSantis is like, I'm going to get in a fist fight with Disney. And Disney's like, we're Disney. Yeah. We're a cultural icon for like a hundred years. Fucking drop my nuts in your mouth when I want to drop my nuts in your mouth.

He's trying to build a prison around them, he said. Yeah. Well, and he said, what'd he say? He said, I'm going to build a theme park next to Disney to compete with it. It's like, you're going to build, you're going to out-compete Disney. You're going to out, people are going to be like, oh, I guess I'm not going to Disney. I'm going to go to Ron DeSantis. I'm going to Ron DeSantis' unhappy world or whatever.

His carnival. The company CEO, Brendan Whitworth has become the target of a conservative conspiracy theory that his prior employment is influencing the brand's current direction. He joined Anheuser-Busch in 2013, became CEO in 21. When commentators found out that his LinkedIn page listed the CIA as one of his past employers, they worked up a theory that he's part of a wide-ranging PSYOP intended to launder woke ideas to the masses. Jesus Christ.

Just the fucking mental backflip gymnastic insanity worldview that you have to have to be like, alright, it's either. Here are two options, guys. Either corporations want everyone to buy beers so they're willing to leverage any influential personality

whenever possible to create ad space. That's one of them. Or the new CEO is ex-CIA, and the CIA is running a PSYOP within multinational Fortune 500 companies to try to change the minds of Americans to a liberal woke agenda. It's one of those two.

It's one of those two. One of those two. I think the former is slightly more fucking plausible than the latter. You know what's also so funny is because it's a small commercial. Right. It's a small commercial to a very targeted audience.

Right. It's a Bud Light commercial on Instagram to someone's Instagram followers. Right. Right. It's a Bud Light commercial on Instagram to someone's Instagram followers. Right. Right. So it's a small, it's a small targeted ad to somebody.

Like our Adam and Eve ads. But it shows you, it also shows you that like Bud Light doesn't care about trans at all because their main advertising isn't, didn't include that.

Didn't include that. You're not seeing that on like, and when they, when they cut the commercial for the Bud Light during the NBA, You're not seeing that on like... When they cut the commercial for the Bud Light during the NBA, you're not seeing that. Right. Right?

During the playoffs. Playoffs are happening now. There's plenty of commercials. You don't see that there because they know it's not going to sell to a mass audience. Right. That's the only reason they would do that.

Yeah, they're just trying to make money. They're trying to leverage anyone... They want to sell fucking cans of Bud Light, man. That's it. And so they didn't put it on the mask. So that should tell these people, like, they should be rejoicing because Bud Light isn't woke. Right. Yes, 100%.

They're reading this message wrong. It's the wrong message. You're reading this message right. Yeah. And also, like, you have to be a little sympathetic to Anheuser-Busch because how hard would it be to convince people to drink Bud Light? I know, gotta pay him how much money that is swimming upstream to convince people have you when was the last time you drank a bud light that's a bad beer whenever i whenever i'm at a place like that doesn't serve regular like beer that tastes good

right is that is that what you'll do i almost almost always, if I'm out, I will drink a High Life. Yeah. A Miller High Life is what I will drink. A Miller High Life is a thousand times better than a Bud Light. If I can avoid it.

High Life, if you're drinking bad beer, like you've got, I've got to get real far down the train before Bud Light. Like real, real far down the train

before it's Bud Light. I drink a regular Bud before I drink a Bud Light in a second. Budweiser? Budweiser is just a stomachache for me. I can drink one Budweiser and my stomach just cramps up. My body's just like,

oh, Budweiser? That has a lot of rice in it. And it turns out we don't like fermented rice. And what you're going to do is blow up like a balloon inside and hurt for a week. I had a good friend of mine that every time I'd hang out with him, he'd always had Budweiser. And I'd be like, God, I get sick every

time I hang out with Kevin. And I'm like, oh, dumbass. It's because Budweiser's got all that fucking rice in it. I was like, I drink beer all the time. Why am I getting sick every time I drink just Budweiser? It's because it's fucking rice bill. Because it's Budweiser. Because it's Budweiser. time I drink just Budweiser. It's because it's fucking rice bill. Because it's Budweiser. Because it's Budweiser. Hanging, firing squad, or a new invention, the guillotine. Guillotine?

Sounds French. Alright, so this story is not in good taste. So, you know, if you guys wanted to just turn off the show now, I don't blame you. Trigger warning, we're going to be talking about decapitation. CBS News. CBS News, guys. Couple beheaded themselves with homemade guillotine

in ritual sacrifice. Police in India say. Now, I'm going to read this whole article because the last part of the article. I don't think you can glean the story from the article. I read it twice. So go ahead. All right.

The last part of the article is what blew my fucking mind. Like the last sentence or two. In New Delhi, an Indian couple has allegedly died by suicide using a guillotine-like mechanism to decapitate themselves in a sacrificial ritual, police said Sunday.

I'm sorry, I'm gonna mispronounce the names. Hemubhai Makwana, 38, and his wife Hansabam, 35, both died by decapitation after using a homemade bladed mechanism in a hut on their farm in the western state of Gujarat, police said. The couple first prepared a fire altar before putting their heads under a guillotine-like mechanism held by a rope. I'm not even going to try to pronounce the police sub-inspector's name.

I'm sorry. I'll just get it wrong. I don't want to insult anyone. Saying, as soon as they released the rope, an iron blade fell on them, severing their heads, which then rolled into the fire. The blade of the heads. Fire

is considered sacred in Hinduism and plays a significant role in several worship rituals. The couple apparently designed the device used in their beheading in such a way that their heads would roll into the fire altar, completing their sacrificial ritual. Heads will roll, Cecil. Heads will roll.

Police have said they found a suicide note addressed to family members who have lost in an investigation. The couple survived by two children and their parents. The incident took place sometime between Saturday and Sunday when police were alerted. Family members reportedly told police that the pair had offered prayers in the hut every day for the last year.

This last part blew me mind. Blew my mind. I did not know this. Ritual human sacrifices are not unknown in India, where official data show that there were more than 100 reported cases between 2014 and 21. But almost all known cases of human sacrifice

involve people killing others to please their gods rather than themselves earlier this month the indian police arrested five men for murdering a woman in 2019 inside a hindu temple in guahati um in what they said was a case of ritual human sacrifice i had no idea i had no idea they were still like kalima shakti day that shit man that shit there is a level of engineering planning yes that you have to do in order to figure all this out like really this is this is this is a suicide that requires blueprints yeah man you know real like did yeah like did they have to like tip over a domino

for it to like hit a boot to like light a candle like Like there's like a whole fucking Rube Goldberg esque nature to this thing. And like, I read this and like Haley and I were talking and it's like, what happens if that thing where you're like head is alive for a little while after you get beheaded. Yeah. And you're just like, Oh God,

it hurts worse than I thought. Oh, the fire, the fire is a terrible idea. The fire was a terrible idea. This is bad. Or maybe they're just like, that smells good.

Yeah. Smells good. The last thing you're like, your last thought is like barbecue. I can go for barbecue. Maybe they roll through a little bit of ghee on the way down and they get a nice brown. Maybe that's it.

It's a yard. It's a guillotine. There you go. It feels like a lot of like, I mean, genuinely though, there are some ways where you're just like, okay, I'm going to do this, but like, this feels so plan-y. Super plan-y. And I'm like, I don't know, man. I kind of admire it a little bit. Like part of me is like,

if I kill myself, I want it to be complicated. Like I want it to be like really, really overly complicated. I want to do it like with, with a bungee jump, though. Like, where you bungee jump and then, like, as you, like, at the very apex, like, that's when the guillotine comes. Yes!

Like, I want to time it like that. Yeah. Like a fucking Fast and the Furious movie. Where it's, like, it's timed beyond, like, where you just can't even explain it. That's what I want. What, what, what, it's like,

what the fuck is going on in your religion that you're so enamored of it that you're like, well, I got to build this guillotine now. And then you got to tell your wife, like, or your wife is telling you, you guys are like, all right, well, I guess. Yeah, you don't build this in a day, I presume. No.

Right? This isn't a hot-blooded thing. You didn't do it for the moment. You know? So there's also got to be moments where you're like going to bed at night and the guillotine is partially built. Yeah. And then you're laying in bed with your wife and you're like talking

about your day. And you're like, oh, my back is a little sore from building a guillotine we're using to kill ourselves by chopping our heads off so they roll into a fire. Here's the other thing too is like this is a family with like little kids

man. I know. How do you get to religion where you're just like you know what I'm gonna go and then because it must be super important for you to do it. What do you get out of the... I presume that and I don't know but like I have to presume typically Because it must be super important for you to do it. What do you get out of that? I presume that, and I don't know, but like I have to presume,

typically like at least in ancient times from what I've read from like the Aztecs, etc., like human sacrifice was used to appease the gods for the gods to do something for you. I see. Right? So like in the Aztecs, like they would kill, you know, the human sacrifice was part and parcel of that culture, but it was to ensure that the sun would continue to come up. Oh, okay. Right? So like in the Aztecs, like they would kill, you know, the human sacrifice was part and parcel of that culture. But it was to ensure that the sun would continue to come up. Oh, okay. Right?

And that like the crops would continue to grow. So you had to like have this sort of like blood bargain with your God. But I'm just like, yeah, but what do I get out of it if I'm dead? You know what I mean? Like it's like, well, the sun won't come up tomorrow. Well, it's not coming up for me anyway. I'm dead. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, well, the sun won't come up tomorrow. Well, it's not coming up for me anyway. I'm dead. I don't give a shit.

Maybe I'm just too selfish. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Maybe they must have really loved their kids, I guess. Right? Their kids, it's like,

well, all right. Obviously, the cost of college education is really... Well, it used to be an arm and a leg, now it's two heads. Two heads are better than one.

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that we put together. We are going to wrap it up though. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. damages, or butt hurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local Dairy Council and viewers like you. you