Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 688: Puzzled

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago and beyond This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. It is May 4th, 2023, and that's the new way we're introing the show, motherfuckers. Ian, please insert
Starting point is 00:01:10 Did he not do it? Insert the show number, you What he did last time was like today is 6-8- He fucking totally didn't know. Ian, goddammit! I don't know what's going on either.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Guys. He did a homina homina for the fucking show number. It was amazing. Goddammit. That's what I was doing. It's in the late sixes. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:01:35 It's in the late sixes. We're okay. Good. We're good. God. Shows what I know. I haven't even listened to the last episode. What I love is like how fucking just,
Starting point is 00:01:46 he's the guy who just is like, I don't give a shit either. I know. He's the perfect employee. It's just like none of us care. What are we doing? You know, when you're hiring at the glory hole. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:03 All right. It might get the job done, but asking for enthusiasm is a little much. Enthusiasm's a little much, right? Depends on the tip. It's just the tip. All right. So this story comes from NPR.
Starting point is 00:02:17 Deliciously, ironically, this story comes from NPR. I love right now, Cecil, that this story comes from NPR because the story is Elon Musk threatens to reassign at NPR on Twitter to another company. So if you recall, Elon Musk, who has just decided that the way to take over a major media company is to micromanage it down to the fucking tweet. It's amazing. Down to the tweet. What the fuck is wrong with you,
Starting point is 00:02:46 spaceman? God, he feels like he's counting pubic hair or something. For fucking real. he is so into the whole thing and doing these, and it's, and it's all clearly shitty things he's doing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:59 To be a fucking asshole. Yeah. This in particular. He's a piece of shit. NPR is, is, has at NPR and they've decided
Starting point is 00:03:08 because he, he said in the past he was going to label them as state-sponsored media. State-sponsored media. And then they said, okay,
Starting point is 00:03:17 how about eat a bag of dicks? Yeah. And they just said, we're not going to go to Stop fucking tweeting. And he said, okay,
Starting point is 00:03:23 well, I'll change it back. And they were like, yeah, if, if it's fucking like on your whim, then we're just not coming back. Like this is clearly just a whim of yours and we have no guarantee that you don't change your mind. So we're just not going to do it. And then he says, well, fine.
Starting point is 00:03:43 I'm going to give away at NPR if you're not using it. But their terms of service clearly state that it's just if you log in. So if you want to be a lurker on Twitter, all you have to do is log in every 30 days and they won't get, according to their own terms of service, they won't get rid of your handle and give it to somebody else. Now, if you leave your account in, you know, If you just don't log into it for years. If you just don't log in,
Starting point is 00:04:09 if it's like basically just abandoned for a long time, they can take your handle. Right. But it has to be under their terms of service and he's willing to break the terms of service and then the major negatives of this is like some fucking random troll out there can have the ad to NPR because he got mad one day.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Yeah. And then tweets are going to go out that look like they are from NPR. Yeah. Right? It's like it's threatening identity crisis. Right? It's essentially like some kind of weird Twitter identity theft blackmail. He runs this company, Cecil, like an abusive boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:04:48 He really does, man. Like a manipulative, abusive boyfriend. If you leave me, I'm going to do this, that, and the other thing. He runs this like he's a fucking manipulative, abusive boyfriend. He runs it like a bad custody battle. Yes, man. That's exactly it. It's fucking unreal.
Starting point is 00:05:03 It is unreal. This is a major... I know, listen, man, I know you lost something like $100 billion in total market cap and dollars in this acquisition. And you're probably a little salty about that. But you're not helping your cause, man. You're not helping your cause, Space Man.
Starting point is 00:05:22 What the fuck are you doing? Go back to blowing up rockets and calling it a success. You are 100% right that he's not helping your cause, Space Man. What the fuck are you doing? Go back to blowing up rockets and calling it a success. You are 100% right that he's not helping his cause. And continuing to double down on stuff like this makes it so that other news organizations make it look like you're unstable enough to go after them too. And so other news organizations have left because of this.
Starting point is 00:05:45 And this will continue to happen until there are no more serious people on Twitter. All you're going to have are the people who just basically make their money off tweets. You know, they make their popularity and their money off tweets. And then the other people
Starting point is 00:06:00 who just bought a check mark. That's who's going to be on it. It's going to be a troll void. It's going to be 4chan. They really will. It is because the one thing Twitter was kind of I guess I've read useful for is journalism.
Starting point is 00:06:16 It was a good place to source journalism and find journalism and follow journalists. Especially up to the minute stuff, too, that they were finding out. But if they're going to do this to NPR, then you're absolutely right.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Other journalistic organizations that have credibility are going to be like, this isn't a place we want to be. Bounce the fuck out of there. So if they all just leave, who's left? A bunch of right-wing trolls screaming into the fucking void? How is that not 4chan? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:42 That's fucking 4chan. And the problem is that these trolls that are on there are just going to keep amplifying that shitty signal. I mean, we're seeing it now with the blue checkmark stuff that he's done is that it doesn't matter who you are. You'll go on there now. When I go on there now,
Starting point is 00:07:01 and here's the thing, I want to mention this too to people who listen. Tom and I almost never see your tweet at us. Oh no. So like if you tweeted us, and I know sometimes,
Starting point is 00:07:12 don't get me wrong, sometimes people just want to shout into the void because they're mad at us. Right. So they want to say, this is a great void if you're interested in voids.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Hey, cognitive dissonance, I didn't like your take on New York style pizza or whatever. And then they want to shout it in the void. That's fine. You can do that.
Starting point is 00:07:28 And I'm not stopping. I can't stop you clearly. And I won't. I encourage you, shout as much as you want into the void. Well, voids are four. If you're hoping
Starting point is 00:07:37 that that shout somehow echoes back to us, that is definitely not going to happen. I remember one time, not that, maybe six, eight months ago. I don't remember what it was, but I was like, oh, I should look at this thing on our Twitter.
Starting point is 00:07:50 I don't have a personal Twitter. So I was like, oh, I should look at this thing on Twitter. So I went into our password manager for the show and I got our Twitter password and I went into Twitter and I put it in. And then it was like, you need a two-step verification, right? Because I had never logged in on that device before you need a two-step verification, right? Because I had never logged in on that device before. And that two-step verification went to you.
Starting point is 00:08:09 And you were like, hey, are you trying to get into Twitter? By then I was like, no, I don't care anymore. I don't care. You were really willing. When I say it was seven minutes later that I texted him,
Starting point is 00:08:19 I'm not lying. It was like seven minutes later. I had lost interest. Tom had already lost interest and wandered away from Twitter. But I do want to say to people, if you ever want us to see the thing you want to say to us, you need to send it via email or something. Cause I won't, we won't ever see it. I will never see it on Twitter. So like if you're, if you're mad at us and want to correct us on something,
Starting point is 00:08:41 send us an email. Email's going to be it because I'm never going to see the correction that you send on Twitter. But anyway, the Twitter is now when I, when I have gone on there and I haven't gone on in a while, cause it's so frustrating. They have a three sort of tabs on the navigation. One's for you. And then one is follows. Well, it defaults for you. And for you happens to be now just a ton of shitty people with a blue check mark but they're all just random people and they have like 70 followers and they're just random check mark okay i don't know who you are and you're also a giant troll and an asshole right anti-trans why are you in my feed and what he's trying to do is amp people up when they come in for you. So he's putting things in there that are supposed to tune me up. That's what I'm seeing
Starting point is 00:09:31 when I go in. I'm seeing like Nazi shit and I'm seeing racist stuff and I'm seeing like big Fox news hosts in there. And I'm just like, and what he's trying to do is he's, he's tweaking the algorithm. So I come in and I'm angry, but instead I come in and I'm disgusted and I leave. I know, right? So I'm just like, okay, you just fatigued me out with one view. Yeah. Like I didn't even have to doom scroll. It's literally a doom screen and I'm done. And I'm out. Yep. The thing is, I think that for many of us, I'll raise my hand, but I know many other people that raise their hand too, is that there was definitely a time in our social media sort of growing up where, and it wasn't that long ago, where, you know, we would log in and we'd see something that tuned us
Starting point is 00:10:16 up and we'd spend some time having our backs and forths, you know, we'd go back and forth and we'd have these exchanges and we'd talk about them amongst ourselves in real life. And that was like part of what social media did for all of us. And then I think the last five years happened and everybody saw the damage that social media did and the exhaustion of just being constantly on edge like that. And now I think there's a real backlash where that sort of like angrification process that social media uses to keep people engaged is starting to like create a real backlash. Instead of keeping people connected to these sites, I think it's just turning people off of using them entirely. How can you say I'm a bad mother? I'm not saying that. Mom, you know that money can't buy happiness. Oh, grow up. Yes, it can.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Holy shit, dude. The Clarence Thomas shit gets worse. Seriously, there is no level of more corruption. Yeah. And that's what I thought last time. I know, right? That's what I thought. So when it found out that Clarence Thomas was going on ultra luxe vacations sponsored by his mega donor buddy that he made friends with while he was a sitting Supreme Court justice.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Right. When I thought that was the height of corruption, I was wrong because then I came to find out that same mega donor happens to own his fucking mom's house where he had renovated it, where his mom gets to live fucking rent free. And I was like, now that, that's the height of corruption. That's the cherry on top. And then this story. Yeah. From the Hill, also everywhere now,
Starting point is 00:11:53 GOP mega donor covered tuition for child that Clarence Thomas was raising as a son. This is his grandnephew, I think, or grandniece, I'm not sure. I don't remember. I know it's either niece or nephew. Yeah, it's one of those, yeah. It's some kid that he basically
Starting point is 00:12:06 is a father figure to that he is deeply close to. The kid goes to a very expensive, like $6,000 a month expensive private school. Oh my God, dude. That is so expensive for a year. Yeah, like what is school?
Starting point is 00:12:21 Probably nine months. Yeah. So you're looking at big dollars here. Big, big months. Yeah. So you're looking at big dollars here. Big, big, big dollars. You know, so you're looking at what? $72,000? Yeah. Something like that?
Starting point is 00:12:30 Yeah. No, not that much. That's for a year. That's for a year. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I forgot that six times nine is 54. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Yeah. So you're looking at like $54,000. $54,000 American dollars. That's per year. A year. That's very expensive school. That's a very expensive private school. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:48 That's insane. And then like this fucking mega donor is like, yeah, you know, I pay for a lot of educations and it's like, look, man, maybe that's true.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Maybe you're just a philanthropist all the time. Maybe you got fucking Michael Scott's kids or whatever, you know, that you're just like, everybody graduates and I'll pay for your college. Maybe. one this one's on clarence thomas he should have said fucking no yeah like even if i grant the absurd proposition that is just like hey you know what that's just i was paying for random kids and one of them happened to be essentially the child of a sitting supreme court justice you gotta god just fold it into the mix, you know? Like you're making muffins
Starting point is 00:13:25 and you're folding every blueberry and I didn't notice that was one of them. Like, oopsie. Like Clarence Thomas can't be like, actually, you know, it'd be wildly inappropriate for me to accept fucking $50,000 tuition gifts. I know, for a kid you're essentially raising, right?
Starting point is 00:13:41 This isn't someone else's words. This is Claren someone else's words. Right. This is Clarence Thomas's words. Right. About his relationship with this young person. Right. Okay? So this isn't someone else who's saying,
Starting point is 00:13:52 oh, well, you know, like someone ancillary to you. Right. Receives something. This isn't your fucking seventh cousin six times removed. You know, like that's like some random person far away that's like deep, deep far away from you like deep, deep, far away from you, but still somehow kind of related
Starting point is 00:14:09 gets a brand new car from this guy. And suddenly everybody's up in your shit. That's not how it works. Like you said, this person is very close to you. And you know, this guy says what you said, you know, there's how dare the liberals go after us helping vulnerable people go to college is basically what they said. And it's like, look, the thing is, is like the vulnerable community, like I'm not coming after you because a single mother needed help to send her kid to college.
Starting point is 00:14:38 There's nothing you can get from the single mother. It's not like she's offering you to like look the other way on your court case at the Supreme Court for Christ's sakes. Like, are you kidding me right now? Like fucking understand that there's like a quid pro quo there that you can't get with anybody else.
Starting point is 00:14:58 The idea that we are even playing at anything other than outrage. Yeah. Is like, If this is not an ethical violation, then we just need to decide that there's literally no such thing.
Starting point is 00:15:12 There's nothing they could do. There's nothing. Somebody could walk up with bags of money with dollar signs on the bags. You know what? One of those stripper guns
Starting point is 00:15:20 that shoots the bills, they could just run by everybody in the Supreme Court. Make it rain. Like smacking Clarence Thomas' ass and like fucking shooting dollar bills in his face and fucking, like I took a fucking facial
Starting point is 00:15:34 with dollar bills, $100 bills as they flap on his face and he's just fucking twerking up there. Because that's what's happening, man. That's it. This is the Clarence Thomas twerk. That's what it is. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Dude, a thousand percent. This is judicial prostitution. It is a hundred percent. Fuck it. This is judicial prostitution. There is no rational person would believe that, oh, well, I buy a lot of houses from the elderly. Oh, I sent a lot of kids to college.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Look, when you're a philanthropist, you don't just randomly pay for individual people's school. Right. You set up foundations. You make systemic changes. Scott's tots, like you said earlier.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Yeah, Scott's tots. Like you said earlier. That's how that works. Yeah. We know that because that's how we've donated money. When you and I
Starting point is 00:16:22 have donated money, we don't just find somebody on the street and hand them dollar dollar bills, y'all. We did the abortion thing. We were just like, abortions! We're going to pay for your abortion over here. Here you go.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Oh, I kind of want to stand outside of Planned Parenthood and beg for everyone's abortion for a day. That would be so funny. Can we do that? Like a carnival barker? Can we hand people- Abortions! We're giving away abortions today!
Starting point is 00:16:44 Seriously, I want to take a day and instead of protesting a Planned Parenthood, seriously stand there with like $800 cash and give every person money to pay for their abortion cash.
Starting point is 00:16:53 That'd be great. And you know, I think, Oh my God, that would be fun. You need a crier for every hour and then you change
Starting point is 00:16:59 time periods. So at one point you get like the old timey Harold who's like, hear ye, hear ye. And then at one point you're getting the old timey Harold, who's like, and then at one point you're getting the old timey carnival barter.
Starting point is 00:17:10 And you just change it throughout the, and you get somebody in a brand new outfit. And then we, we have costume changes throughout the day. Yes. So at a certain point, we could be dressed like Henry the eighth. I love it. Henry.
Starting point is 00:17:20 And then later on, can I have a drumstick? We're dressed like guys with like the big top hats. Yes. And then we, you know, dot, dot, Henry. And then later on in the day. Can I have a drumstick? We're dressed like guys with like the big top hats. Yes. And then we, you know, dot, dot, dot. We'll have somebody play that thing out of a. Oh, yeah. We've got a whole.
Starting point is 00:17:31 We've got a whole thing. We can't get a whole production. And if you're listening, which you're probably not, motherfucker. He's not. Like, order some costumes. We need costumes. We need a lot of costumes, I think. It would be such a hoot.
Starting point is 00:17:41 That would be so fucking funny. That would get a lot of bad press. We got to do it somewhere where it's just barely legal too. Yes, right over a border. Right over a border. Or where they're, you know, they're considering getting rid of it.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Yes. We got to. That might be the one thing that pushes them over. Yeah, it's not that I think about it. I don't know about that. I want to almost get shot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:02 You know what I mean? Like, don't make me wrong. I don't want to get shot. Well, the good thing is that it's already illegal in Texas. It actually would be really fun to pay for abortions for a day in front of those protesters. It would be really funny. It would be really funny to be like, I'm going to follow
Starting point is 00:18:21 you in and then I'll just take care of it. It's just on me. Let it be on me today. Yep. And then be like, sir, what's your name? It's Harold's paying for this. And then go inside and do it that way. A hundred. I'll pay everybody a hundred dollars for every protester that's out here.
Starting point is 00:18:37 Oh man. A board is 10 protesters, thousand bucks. Oh, so good. It just looks like a border crossing. It says Mexico. Oh Lord. Gosh. What? there's a thousand bucks oh so good it just looks like a border crossing it says mexico oh lord what this story comes from mediaite media itty trump 2024 ad claiming u.s decline under biden uses images taken during trump's presidency so i put this on the big screen for us tom um so we can look at the ad that they used. So here's the ad that they used,
Starting point is 00:19:06 Tom. They used an ad that, first of all, it has Joe Biden just making kind of a weird expression, right? Because that's what you do. He kind of looks like Skeletor there. He does. It's a terrible picture of Joe Biden. Then they've got a Chicago PD picture, by the way. I do. It's Chicago.
Starting point is 00:19:21 It is clearly taken from the protests in the summer of 2020. George Floyd. The George Floyd got murdered protests. My favorite picture is the immigrants that are crossing.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Those immigrants were actually going south. They were actually heading in Mexico, heading south. They were going to another border. They're just like,
Starting point is 00:19:41 fuck this. They weren't actually coming to America at all. I actually wish though, Cecil, that they had used images of the many, many, many, many Americans every day who crossed the border into Mexico for health
Starting point is 00:19:55 care. Because that's a fucking real actual thing. It's a real thing. People do it for health and dental care. It would have been amazing if they actually showed the American immigration into Mexico to gain access to fucking affordable health care. But even still, these people are not doing what they're saying they're doing, and they're not doing it in the time frame that they're doing.
Starting point is 00:20:20 Instead, they're doing it during Trump's presidency. The image is not an honest image of what it's being purported to be at all. And it's not taken during when it was. It's there's nothing about it that's true. Right. Like, this is such bullshit. If you feed this image after midnight, it turns into a gremlin. That is how fucking nonsense it is.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Actually, maybe Joe Biden got fed after. And then I just like that. There's just like a Chinese flag symbol, you know, like China. And you're supposed to be like China. And you're just like, if Joe Biden becomes president, China. I love
Starting point is 00:20:55 that they're going out of their way to make it look like Joe Biden's presidency is such a train wreck. Oh my God, it's the worst. I mean, there was a train wreck during Joe Biden's presidency. such a train wreck. Oh my God. It's the, it's the worst speaking. I mean, there was a train wreck during Joe Biden's presidency. I should have used a different term.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Maybe I should have used a different term. Maybe it was Joe Biden. Yeah. I think it's funny though. I like, I like this story because like, like Trump is so dishonest. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:21:19 It's not like, it's not like if I say, if I sent this to a Trump supporter, it would be like, fuck you, man. Joe Biden and the Chinas. Also, immigration sucks. I hate cop cars that are on fire.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Anyone want to see my NFT collection? I'm going to go storm the Capitol. So hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon, madam. So I love this story. This story comes from Fox News. Christian evangelists at Boston's SatanCon claim about a hundred people converted. Quote, we're in a battle. Now, what I love about this is not what's in the article, Cecil. What I love about this article is what's not in the article. What's not in the article, what's in the article is a nonsensical
Starting point is 00:22:03 story self-reported by a bunch of lunatic evangelists who said that they converted 100 plus people over to Christianity because Satanists are really actually mad at God and you just have to show them the light and the love and they'll all become Christians. And all you had to do is go to their con to stand outside and go hubba jubba jubba and they immediately ran outside and said, oh God, we made a huge mistake. I want to love the Lord. So,
Starting point is 00:22:26 they interview a number of evangelicals. Do you know who they do not interview, Cecil? Not a single Satanist. Not a single converted Satanist. You had a hundred
Starting point is 00:22:36 plus of them. Yeah. Supposedly. And you would think if they're that willing to discard Satanism, like the snake skin that it is. Not a single interview.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Not a single one of them. So it's almost like you have to take it on faith from these Christians. Made it up. Made it up. Made it up. Made it up. The whole thing is made up. And I love the idea.
Starting point is 00:23:00 And I know I've said this on the show before. And it's not an original thought probably. But I do. I'm tickled. I'm constantly just tickled at how much it is necessarily theologically true that Satanists are Christians. You literally cannot worship Satan unless you believe Bible stuff. You can't do it. There wouldn't be a Satan if you don't believe Bible stuff. It's just repackaged Protestantism in a different format.
Starting point is 00:23:33 That's all it is. It's a different, bigger protest. But it is if you were to really be Satanist, which none of these guys are, right? None of them are. None of these guys are
Starting point is 00:23:41 theologically Satanic. That's important to mention. So I understand that the Satanists are really more of a political force. Satan is a literary figure in Satanism that represents a pushback or rejection of authoritarianism. There are going to be some people who send us messages and say, well, there are some people. And you're like, yeah, those people are like fringe and weird. And there's only a few of them. And like most of the people that we've come across, that we've talked about on the show, they are not people who are like fucking holding a black mass
Starting point is 00:24:12 and rolling their eyes in the back of their head and dancing around a Ouija board or whatever. They're people who are like, hey man, I'm going to go to this school board and fuck with them and show them that religion in every form, if it's forced, is bad. Right. Yeah. It's seriously just an obvious tool for a political cause. Right.
Starting point is 00:24:33 And it's a clever and funny tool for political cause. But what I just am always amused by is that the Christians can't get out of their own fucking heads. They can't get out of their own fucking way. So they see this stuff and they immediately are like, Satan? Well, let's go meet a Satanist. And you're like, oh, you fucking chucklehead. You don't even know who they are. And then they think all, and it's like,
Starting point is 00:24:54 hey man, even if you were right, they'd already be Christians. They would already be, even have to be. I can't be a Satanist. I don't think Satan's real. I don't think God's real. I don't think Satan's real I don't think God's real I don't think Jesus it's like being a Satan
Starting point is 00:25:07 a Santa Clausist right you're like okay I'm an Easter Bunnyist right it's fucking nonsense man Uncle Samist I fucking love this shit
Starting point is 00:25:16 I love Uncle Samist I also enjoyed this article too because of their fervency in which they tell us how the people basically ran from inside to go be converted because they're ex Christians and they're mad at God. And then all they had to do was hear that God really,
Starting point is 00:25:36 really, really loves them. And they felt really good about it. Although they didn't feel good enough about it to do an interview, but they definitely felt good about good enough about it to pray with them outside of this thing that was happening, this big con. And also, funny enough, in that same article, by their own telling.
Starting point is 00:25:55 So by their, and it's an obvious lie, right? It's a made up story. Sure. So what amuses me about the story they chose to make up is exactly what you said, is that there's all these ex-Christians who were just waiting to be loved by the church. And all they needed to do is be shown the love. But what they also say is the ex-Christians are mad because they had horrible, terrible things done to them by the church.
Starting point is 00:26:27 thought well hey man why don't you just build a church that doesn't do horrible yeah terrible things such that people abandon their actual like entire ethical rubric you know what i mean sure like you're already being like all right look uh obviously the church has done some horrible shit and you're just like well isn't that kind of like where you should start? Shouldn't you be like, yeah, you know what? That really kind of changed my mind on this. Yeah. But since they're all made up and the points don't matter, it's like, like, it's like buying your, your girlfriend from Niagara Falls, a fucking engagement ring. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Right. I'm not fixing anything because there isn't anything to fix because they're not here. They're not going to be lining the pews because they don't exist. Very true. They don't exist. So there's no pressure to change. I just wouldn't tell a story where I was the bad guy. You know what I mean? If I'm
Starting point is 00:27:12 telling a made-up story of heroism, it'd be like, here's the deal. I slayed that monster, but first, I fucked your wife. He'd be like, can we live? You didn't slay a monster. Why'd you do that first detail? What? And maybe I didn't slay him. Maybe I shit my pants while my friends slay him.
Starting point is 00:27:29 This was a vision. I'm telling you, these people are Satanists. As I sit here, they are Satanists. Look, look, the world is full of these kinds of things. Look at this. Black masses, mutilations, mutilations. The incubus, the succubus. So I grabbed this because
Starting point is 00:27:45 I just thought of Tucker Carlson yeah and I thought like where is Tucker Carlson gonna land right and it is probably one of these like
Starting point is 00:27:53 ultra credible sources like Newsmax or OAN you got okay so I'm gonna play this and I'm gonna let it go
Starting point is 00:28:02 right I'll let it go I'll shut up but I wanna, listen to, every fourth week or so, fourth or fifth week, I have to do a citation needed, right? So every fifth week of the year is my turn to do a citation needed.
Starting point is 00:28:19 And so I have to be the one who writes the basis of what we're going to talk about. Not just interjections, not just like skits, but actually a full-on thing that I'm going to read aloud. And in that episode, I will be the one who speaks aloud the most, right? I'll be reading from my text and speaking aloud more than anyone else.
Starting point is 00:28:43 I, even to this day at my advanced age and many years practicing, I'm still bad at reading things aloud. I'm not good at it. My brain doesn't like to do it. My brain likes to add things and subtract words and mispronounce everything. And I'm really bad at it.
Starting point is 00:28:59 And even that, I recognize my own faults. But what I do is I try to read it a couple times ahead of time to try to minimize the damage that I do to my co faults, but what I do is I try to read it a couple times ahead of time to try to minimize the damage that I do to my co-hosts, right? Listen to this man read off a teleprompter. Here's the thing, man. If this was my job, like it is when I do Citation Needed, I know I'm edited, so I'm okay, right? But if this was my job and I was, I would read this script a dozen times before I got on camera. It would be memorized into your fucking muscle memory. I want you to
Starting point is 00:29:30 listen to this guy read this script. Oh God, yeah. He looks a little like William Shatner. He looks, he's got all the tanner on, by the way. He is wearing literally all of the, if you went out to buy tanner this weekend. Emphasis on Shatner. If you couldn't buy Tanner,
Starting point is 00:29:47 it's because he put all of it on. Yeah, 100%. So here we go. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I gotta, I'm begging you. Arguably serious, a very serious spiritual war going on in America. The battle between good versus evil, freedom versus oppression,
Starting point is 00:30:01 the individual versus tyranny of the collective. And arguably this war is far more important than any cultural war or political conflict, as salvation of mankind is at stake. And as of those with faith are ridiculed and forced to be private about their beliefs, the secular left is doing everything to wither down the Judeo-Christian values of this country. everything to wither down the Judeo-Christian values of this country. And what better place for them to radically transform the nation, obviously, than to start with your children. It's a trend, if you haven't noticed. The federal judge ruling this week that a Pennsylvania school district must allow a satanic club to meet. And guess what he based it upon? Yep, free speech,
Starting point is 00:30:43 the First Amendment. Our founding fathers must be rolling in their graves. And as you love, I got to stop it here just to say, like, I love that they're like, we should be selective with the rights that we have in this country. Right. How dare they use the rights that we want? We reserve these for ourselves. We get to use the rights that are given to this country. For real. Like, we fought a whole civil war about how that's a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Are you kidding me? Do you not even understand what you're saying? Also, very quickly, his entire cadence and delivery feels exactly Tucker Carlson. It does. It very much does. Like, I wonder if he watched Carlson. He might be. He has the same cadence of delivery. Yeah. It could be a Fox thing because he was a Fox host, too. God does. Like, I wonder if he watched Carl's. He might be. He has the same cadence of delivery.
Starting point is 00:31:26 It could be a Fox thing because he was a Fox host, too. Goddamn. Yeah, maybe. And as you can see, all of a sudden, the left loves the Bill of Rights. But just take a look at their flyer. Luring children with puzzles, games, snacks at their meetings. They even have a friendly looking cartoon of their devil. All of it, very creepy. Folks, this is Satan worshipers, and they're doing everything they
Starting point is 00:31:50 can to not only make Lucifer your child's friend and mentor, but they're actually recruiting to build their dark army from within. Our school system mistakes couldn't be higher. And what's worse, they're using our own constitution to justify it. Ironically, if the left ever seizes total control, certainly they'll throw out the very constitution they used to protect themselves
Starting point is 00:32:12 in the first place. It's nothing more. What are you talking about? They're just using the rule that you want to use. Like, what are you talking? What the fuck is in your head, man? I don't understand
Starting point is 00:32:25 what you're saying these rules are for my benefit though they'll just throw them out it's like no they're using them right now why like why would they throw them out they like them yeah we're literally taking advantage like you won't use that when it's yours what are you talking look it's like if i borrow your car and i'm driving around your car and you're like well if you ever get a car you won't drive it i'm like yeah i what i'm driving right now i clearly like doing this what are you talking about than a document of convenience to them this is where we are in America. Our children are being sexually groomed by radicals. By priests?
Starting point is 00:33:07 By priests, teachers. Oh, okay. And if it's not that, they're being indoctrinated by actual devil worshipers. You better keep a close eye on your kids, folks, because schools are becoming a very, very dangerous place. But you know, this nonsense is intentionally written. Remember we were talking weeks back about how the right is infiltrating school boards and local elections. You watch this, it galvanizes lunatics who believe in devil worshipers and all that other made up nonsense to go be on the school board. I guarantee there are people going on school boards trying to get onto school boards because they believe
Starting point is 00:33:47 messages like this that the schools, I gotta get involved I gotta get involved these schools are not in my town Cecil not in my backyard and we talked about maybe sometimes satire isn't a good idea
Starting point is 00:34:02 the birds are a real thing because it makes, it turns people against your cause because they think you're genuine. Yeah. Right? This good news club or happy fun time club
Starting point is 00:34:14 or whatever it's called. It's not good news. Good news is the Bible one. Yeah. But this is like this happy fun time club or whatever that it's called that they're putting on.
Starting point is 00:34:22 They are doing it very specifically to point out, we will make a Satan club if you make a God club. Let's all agree not to have religious clubs. That's the real message. That's the entirety of the message. And they're doing it because they're saying, look, we can be cute.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Do you want us to be cute and adorable and get your kids to come to the satan club because we'll do it we will do it but what we want is no one to do it yeah when when the satanists like that's exactly right when the satanists win in quotes the right to have a satan club in the school they lost they technically lost they lost because that's not the goal yeah the goal to your exact point, was to get none of this shit into schools. So keeping it,
Starting point is 00:35:09 now, once they do that, they can't blink, right? No, you gotta- And they have to court the controversy. It's chicken, right? It's like, we're gonna do this, so- But I'll tell you what, man. I absolutely agree.
Starting point is 00:35:20 I think that the internet has destroyed satire. Yeah. I think if you were to take something like Jonathan Swift's modest proposal and you were to write it today, it would be taken up as a serious proposition. Siri, remind me to have ChatGPT rewrite Jonathan Swift's proposal.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Thank you. Terrifying. Terrifying. I actually proposal. Thank you. Terrifying. Terrifying. I actually do. I agree. I think we need to stop with the fucking satire because we're in a culture
Starting point is 00:35:53 so awash in irony that we are completely unable to tell who's a poet and who's for real. Sure. And so if we want to do serious things, we can't do the birds aren't real stuff. And I'll tell you why you can't do the birds aren't real type stuff anymore. Literally, we had a story that we think we're going to cover maybe this week on our silly news show, or next time you hear a silly news show of actual taxidermied robot bird drones. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:20 So you're going to have crossover where someone's going to create an obvious poe. They're going to create an obvious satire. And then there's going to be some tangentially related pseudo-truth. And those things will get conflated. And within six months, you'll have a real movement of lunatics. We're too primed for bullshit now. The internet has made our bullshit detector worse. Way worse.
Starting point is 00:36:48 I still, when I look at things on the internet I almost never think they're real. I don't care what it is. My first thought is I doubt that. I don't think that's real. Whatever it is. And then I'm willing to be proven wrong after that. But my first thought is always to
Starting point is 00:37:04 doubt it. If I see somebody who posts a meme, like somebody posts a meme. For instance, this last week I mentioned earlier in the show, I posted an image an infographic. My first comment was a link to that story. I didn't just make that infographic up. I didn't just say, because let me
Starting point is 00:37:20 tell you, it's not hard to just make a Photoshop of the CBS News thing and then just make a graph and then make it all up. That's not hard. That's a perfectly reasonable and easy thing to do. So I could easily jump in and do that and no problem. But I went out of my way to tell people, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to do that. So what I think is the default, though, is that when people see stuff, they immediately think like, oh, I saw this meme, it must be true. And my first default is, oh, I saw this meme, it's just a meme.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Until there's something there that backs it up, I don't want to believe it. Now, if I see an article or a news story or something that does back it up, maybe I'll research it more. But more often than not, things that are posted like that, they are done for outrage immediately. They take things completely out of context, or they pull the most salacious piece out to try to tune you up, not give you the entire story. And so you've got to approach, I think the internet on nowadays in a way that's just like, I doubt that. I don't believe that. I doubt even this man. And cable news, man. Yeah. All of it. Like, cause it's all playing now the same angles. Yeah. The thing is like, this has now become a technique that everybody in media has learned works. So we have to be so
Starting point is 00:38:40 fucking careful. I like what, like Haley and I all sometimes be sitting and like watching, like, you know, the little short videos, like reels or stuff, like funny stuff, like hayley and i'll sometimes be sitting and like watching like you know the little short videos like reels or stuff like funny stuff you know and we'll watch something and like i just comment all the time be like i don't know if that happened but it's funny yeah you know like i don't care and i'll be like i don't even care if that's true but i liked it it was funny you know because i'm the same way i'm like yeah i don't know man like i watch a video i'm not sure that video happened like we should just approach everything with a degree of real dubiousness but then that also means that as people trying to be serious about the world satire is not our tool anymore yeah because it's not an appropriate tool anymore it's not a good one and and i do believe that the worst part about it is is that there's
Starting point is 00:39:22 it's not that that that someone else will believe it's not that someone else will believe it. It's that someone else will then weaponize it because they know that other people will believe it. And so that guy that we just saw, he is going to weaponize this, even if he doesn't believe that the Satanists care about a good news or a happy fun club or whatever, he doesn't care.
Starting point is 00:39:42 What he's going to do is weaponize his audience because he knows they're gullible. And so he's going to do is weaponize his audience because he knows they're gullible. And so he's going to take this salacious thing that he knows tunes them up and whether he believes it
Starting point is 00:39:51 or not is irrelevant. Yeah, absolutely. He's going to make his audience believe it. That's right. That son of a bitch Tucker built the damn thing. So this story comes from
Starting point is 00:40:01 Insider, businessinsider.com. Tucker Carlson helped broker the deal that made Kevin McCarthy House Speaker after 14 failed votes, according to text messages. I saw an article today that the text message that likely got him fired. I don't know if you saw this or not, was a text message referring to people in January 6th,
Starting point is 00:40:31 the January 6th riots, referring to somebody beating up a cop or something. And Tucker Carlson texted somebody, that's dishonorable. It's not how white people fight. Jesus Christ. I'm paraphrasing only the littlest bit because I don't remember the exact words, but it's like, he he said like that's dishonorable
Starting point is 00:40:46 it's not how white people fight and it was like that is going to escape and like that's the worst right like it's just straight up not hiding at all blunt racism sweet Jesus right
Starting point is 00:41:01 but beyond that Tucker Carlson and I grabbed this story because I thought it was interesting because there's like Sweet Jesus. power broker, not just in terms of his media influence and his audience influence, but his direct access. Yeah, we talked about their access. As a member of the fourth estate. We talked about the access though of many of these people. Sean Hannity was texting people, Laura Ingraham was texting people while this all was happening, right? While the January 6th was all happening. But after the fact, two years after the fact, when McCarthy was trying to get his seat of power as the House Speaker, and it took him 14 times to eventually become the Speaker of the House, he had to reach out, or Tucker Carlson had to sort of broker this deal to try to get certain people on committee assignments
Starting point is 00:42:06 and whatnot to try to get him his final vote to get him as part of the, as the Speaker of the House. And I think, you know, you're absolutely right to call into question the fact that these people should be separate. There should be a separation of them away from the people in power. So they're not friends. So they're not buddies. And so there can be that check and balance, right? We have supposedly a check and balance between three different layers of government
Starting point is 00:42:38 in our government, right? There's the judicial, there's the executive, and there's the legislative, right? Those are the three things that check each other's power. Although fucking judicial trumps everything and there's the executive, and there's the legislative, right? Those are the three things that check each other's power, although fucking judicial trumps everything and there's no oversight. But in any case, the judicial is supposed to check in on
Starting point is 00:42:53 each one, and they're supposed to check and balance, and there's vetoes, and there's a way to sort of fuck with each other, etc., and keep it balanced. But the fourth estate is there to make sure that they don't fuck around, right? They don't, and they're the ones that sort of report to us. But when you start to become friendly with them, then we have this system where there's a guy who's basically friendly with the people who are in power. And he's going to say the things that
Starting point is 00:43:20 he wants because it helps those people and it helps himself. And beyond friendly, you know, this isn't, this is, this is a new level beyond just, I have, I'm Sean Hannity, I have access. You're right. There it is. This is, this is influence. This is, I will help you behind the scenes, get what you want. And am I supposed to believe that there's no quid pro quo? You know what? I so know that that's not true that the article specifically mentions the quid pro quo.
Starting point is 00:43:51 The quid pro quo in this case was I'll help you become House Speaker. You give me the January 6th footage. Yeah. And that's what happened. That's what happened. That's an actual thing that happened. And then he took like
Starting point is 00:44:02 a picture of a duck that someone took and he's like, see, it was a very peaceful day. Anyway. Yeah, I know. Ignoring thousands of hours of it. So like, you know, this this is this is not just a violation of the transparency that journalism owes to the American people in order to, as you said, to keep our government in check. But this is a clear violation. Like when the press is influencing and dictating who the, listen, the reason that the Speaker of the House right now is the Speaker of the House is because of fucking Tucker Carlson, is because of a fucking
Starting point is 00:44:39 talking head, racist journalist. That's who selected your Speaker of the House. That's who got that deal done. That's who got that deal done. And understand the reason why that deal wasn't going to happen without Tucker was we have 14 times that it failed before Tucker stepped in. So you know that deal wasn't going to work
Starting point is 00:44:59 before then. He needed his help to fix it. Exactly, dude. I don't know what the name of this kind of collusion or whatever. I don't know what this kind of... There's got to be a name, Cecil, that I don't know because I don't even like...
Starting point is 00:45:16 I don't even have a way to understand how inappropriate this is. Yeah. I literally lack the vocabulary to call out what this is. This is some kind of collusive fraud or something i don't even know yeah what the fuck is wrong with you it's this man sister it comes
Starting point is 00:45:33 from vanity fair texas's solution to school shootings training eight-year-olds in battlefield trauma care so that's for real the tex. Texas representatives are really floating the proposition that, you know, one of the solutions to school shootings to keep our kids safe in schools is not, of course, to reduce the weapons of violence and death that so easily flow into the hands of mass murderers. It is instead to stock classrooms and train kids like seventh grade and on up. I thought it was, yeah, I thought it was- Is it even younger?
Starting point is 00:46:11 Eight years. Yeah, eight years. I'm sorry. Yeah, eight years. I have an eight-year-old. Eight years and up in how to like dress a fucking bullet wound. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:21 And I thought, there's a part of me that remembers is we can't open the article right now because it's weird like beyond timed out. We have to pay $30 for fucking vanity fairs or whatever. But I thought when I read this earlier that the person who proposed this was doing it as sort of in the same
Starting point is 00:46:38 vein as the Satanists. Yeah, I think so too. I think the person was a Democrat who was proposing this to say, you won't solve this problem, so we're going to do this instead. And this should wake you up to how horrible the solutions you have are. And instead, people have sort of said,
Starting point is 00:46:56 no, that sounds great. That sounds like a great idea. Let's do it. Let's go. Let's run with that. It's crazy to me. It's like we have a problem, Tom, in this country
Starting point is 00:47:04 with like wood chippers and people falling into wood chippers, right? So like, let's say there's like a really bad problem. It's an epidemic across the country. Unmanned, live running wood chippers are just out there. And on occasion, someone just gets tossed in there. Right in front of a grease slick. Like, yeah. And just like the end of fucking Fargo
Starting point is 00:47:27 where there's just a fucking bread mist coming out of the thing, whatever. So instead of putting a railing around each one or making sure that they're manned and someone's there to warn people with flags or there's like a line you can't cross. Or taking away the wood chippers. Or you figure some way out.
Starting point is 00:47:45 You're not going to, let's say there's no way to get rid of those wood chippers, but you have to have the wood chippers. But there's a way to like make it so there's something we could do to make it so that the wood chippers are less accessible, right? Less accessible to some random person falling in.
Starting point is 00:48:01 But instead their idea, the thing that they decide to do is like, okay, well, we can't, there's nothing we can do from stopping people to falling in wood chippers, but what we can do is we can train really hard on jigsaw puzzles on how to put people back together. And so we'll do this.
Starting point is 00:48:20 We'll send a ton of really, really hard jigsaw puzzles to kids. And then when the guy inevitably falls out the end in pieces, the kid will just be like, I know. I've been training my whole life for this. We'll get that kid in your class who was really good at the Rubik's Cube to just stand at the end collecting the bits. And the guy just goes like, oh, I'm moving my nose.
Starting point is 00:48:42 I got to turn the noses around. The nose is upside down. All the ears on his face. It looks like a Picasso. He's got ears for eyes. Oh, my God. It's like a Mr. Potato at Picasso in here. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:48:56 For fuck's sake, dude, I have an eight-year-old. I wouldn't, I don't trust. Look, every eight-year-old's different. Every eight-year-old's different. I have an eight-year-old. I would not trust my eight-year-old to dress a battlefield wound.year-old's different. I have an eight-year-old. I would not trust my eight-year-old to dress a battlefield wound. Would you trust him to cut an onion on his own?
Starting point is 00:49:09 I would, no. Yeah. No. Okay. No. That should be a litmus test for a lot of things in life. I don't trust my wife to cut an onion.
Starting point is 00:49:19 I will do it for her. I will see her precariously looking at it and then she's got the knife and she's like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, give me the fucking onion.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Just give it to me. Don't, give me the fucking onion. And I'm a step away from the cutting board. It's like, I, there's,
Starting point is 00:49:37 there's a lot of things that it's like, I don't trust you to do this. And it's like, that's not a hard, it's not a hard thing, but you do need to know what you're doing. Dude, you got to know what you're doing. Also, I wouldn't trust you to do this. And it's like, that's not a hard, it's not a hard thing, but you do need to know what you're doing. Dude,
Starting point is 00:49:46 you got to know what you're doing. And also, I wouldn't want to trust the kids. I will. I wouldn't trust a kid to put a fucking bandaid cleanly on my boo boo. No, man. I,
Starting point is 00:49:57 if I got a, if I was at home, I've got kids. My kids are eight, 12, 16, 16. If I was at home,
Starting point is 00:50:05 Jesus Christ. There's so many kids, dude. There's so many of them, Cecil. I have one less cat. I have three cats. I have one less cat than you have kids. It's so many kids. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:16 If I got wounded and they were like, can we help? I'd be like, absolutely not. I don't even want you to call anybody. All right. You would fuck that up. Seriously.
Starting point is 00:50:24 I'd be like, hand me my phone. They'd be like, hand me my phone. They'd be like, Tom, your arms are gone. I'll dial with my nose. You're going to dial 311 and a tow truck's going to show up. All I would do is I would just call out to Siri at that point. Yeah, right. None of them. I want none of them to help me.
Starting point is 00:50:40 I'm moving. And like, I will credit where it's due. The 16-year- olds are packing their rooms and I will let them pack their rooms with supervision and oversight when it's done. Right. That's fine. Any more help. And they're like, can we pack other rooms? Like, no, my shit's in the other room. Like if you pack your shit and it breaks, you broke your stuff. And I'm just like, well, guess your stuff is broken. Like, I don't know what to tell you.
Starting point is 00:51:07 I told you how to pack. Like, they're like, can I help you pack? I'm like, no, are you kidding me? Like I wouldn't let you.
Starting point is 00:51:13 No, absolutely not. Sarah does the same thing when I clean stuff. I'll be like, can I clean that? She's like, no, I'll just have to redo it.
Starting point is 00:51:20 No, you can't clean it. No, I won't let you go away. Go do something else. Take the garbage out. Right. I won't let you. Go away. Go do something else. Take the garbage out. Right. This is not for you.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Cut a fucking onion. That's what you should do. Can you imagine how traumatic it would be to tell a third grader? That's an eight-year-old, a third-grade kid. Think about you when you were in third grade. So here's the deal. Somebody might break into this room and shoot you or your friends or your teacher or some combination.
Starting point is 00:51:47 And you might survive, though. Yeah. And if that happens and you're one of the survivors, you should know how to stem the bleeding from your buddy, from your playmate, from your friend, from your teacher. Oh, that's something I should be responsible for at eight years old? And since you have the tools in class, if one of your friends has appendicitis, I expect you before the end of the day
Starting point is 00:52:12 to take his appendix out. Take his appendix out. You better be able to. And in fact, like that surgeon in the Arctic or whatever that had to do it to himself, I expect you to do it for yourself. For yourself. You have to do it for yourself too.
Starting point is 00:52:23 Also, if you can rebalance my mutual fund portfolio. And rebalance my tires. Holy shit. It's not out of the realm of possibility, though, because there is a story that I don't know that we're going to get to today where the Republicans are like, hey, you're 10 years old. Do you want to work a midnight shift?
Starting point is 00:52:39 Yeah, man. So I don't, the thing I think that, I really do think that liberals and conservatives look at kids very differently yeah I think that they're like these are workers
Starting point is 00:52:50 and we're like no those are kids and I think that that's the fundamental difference that's the fundamental difference that's it like let's just kind of transition softly
Starting point is 00:52:58 into that story because the Republicans are so out of ideas and they are so dead set against the idea of paying living wages to adults
Starting point is 00:53:08 that their literal solution to these problems is let's have the kids do it. Oh, we don't want to get rid of the guns. Let's have kids patch up the bloody disfigured remains of their friends and their loved ones.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Oh, we don't want to pay adults a living wage to wake up and do grueling, difficult, thankless, shitty work. Let's instead hire kids because they're less likely to complain and they're powerless. We don't want to get rid of the guns.
Starting point is 00:53:34 So we're going to fix the problem in a really grotesque way. We don't want to get rid of the wage. Right. We're going to fix the problem in a really grotesque way. You're exactly right. And so I think that it's just a,
Starting point is 00:53:45 it's a great reflection. You're absolutely right that those two things are perfect for each other. And, you know, this is one of those moments too, that I really am very depressed and down on the Democrats because they had an opportunity. I know that there was blockage in the, in the Senate because of it, but they very much had an opportunity to fix this problem on a national level. They had a nationwide ability to fix it. Now, I have no idea if that would have changed with the next president, right? For the minimum wage thing.
Starting point is 00:54:14 They had an opportunity to fix this on a national level. I mean, an opportunity in the sense that there was political will, a lot of political will to fix it, but there was definitely some people there that were fighting it, right? The mansion and cinema were never going to do it.
Starting point is 00:54:30 But, you know, I really feel like that is such a big, big problem that they could have done something about. And the arguments against the minimum wage are the stupidest arguments in the world. I mean, they're the dumbest arguments. They talk about, you know, what happens with this minimum wage at McDonald's
Starting point is 00:54:50 and like, yeah, you don't pay that much more. It's like the lot of that money, guys, rolls up to the top. It's not like this money that they're paying these people is not rolling, is going to immediately increase everything. The only way it would increase everything if they want to keep the same margins, right? That's the only way.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Exactly. Yeah. The problem is that we've created a system. And by a system, I mean the stock market, which I'll just be saying, I don't think stock markets should exist at all because they create a grotesque series of incentives, which have really nothing at all to do with what's good for the people that actually wake up and go to work in the world. The stock markets are gross because they just are. There's a hundred reasons why they are.
Starting point is 00:55:36 The stock market system is a bad system. But when you have publicly traded companies like a McDonald's, for example, they can't say, hey, we're going to make $100 million this year instead of $125 million this year. They can't say it. If they say that to investors, investors pull their money out. And then not only do they make $25 million less, but now the total market cap of their company has also decreased. So they stand to lose another
Starting point is 00:56:01 $100 million. So instead, they always have to make at least the same or more, at least the same or more in order to keep investors at that stock level happy. And that means that they're disincentivized all the time, constantly disincentivized from doing the right thing. We've built systems that make it structurally impossible for companies to do the right thing and still maintain their share price. That's gross. That's just a gross, gross system. We're not willing to give up those margins. The companies are simply unwilling to hand any of that back.
Starting point is 00:56:38 And so the solution that the Republicans have come up with is let's let kids do that work. Let's let them keep their margin. And we will keep saying the same thing we've been saying over and over again, that these are starter jobs and you shouldn't be able to live on them because that's their line, right? When they say things like, you know, McDonald's or whatever, whatever job, because they're always going to talk about, talk bad about some job. That's why I was using the same example, right? Because it's their example. It's their example, but they'll always talk about bad about some job. That's why I was using the same example, right? Because it's their example. It's their example. But they'll always talk bad about some job. And so let's just say it's McDonald's or let's say it's a greenskeeper or whatever it is. And they will say, this person deserves to make a minimum wage because it's not a real job that someone would consider a career. Instead, this is
Starting point is 00:57:19 a job that anybody can do. And it's unskilled labor. They'll use those terminology all the time. And then they'll be like, so you just we shouldn't pay that person what we would consider a living wage, meaning a career type wage, a wage that would be able to support a family or whatever. And so what they're going to do is they're going to
Starting point is 00:57:39 make those jobs jobs that wouldn't be able to support them. And then they're going to find a way to reverse engineer it. This is intelligent design for wages. Yeah, this is intelligent design for late stage capitalism. They basically figured out a way. They're like, we need to figure out a way to make this so this wage stays the same. And so it remains a job that you can't live off of. How do we do that? Well, we give it to people who just don't have to have the same type of expenses, little
Starting point is 00:58:07 kids, because they live supposedly with their parents. Well, the thing is that other countries have figured out that you can have a juvenile wage for workers that are, say, 14 to 16, and then you can have a living wage for adults. And I think that that's a perfectly
Starting point is 00:58:23 fair thing to do, right? I do think that it is a reasonable and fair thing to say. Just work the shit out of kids. That's all I'm saying. Just work the shit out of them. But I think if you're, I worked at a Burger King. You worked at a- Yeah, man, I worked as a, I worked, as soon as I got, as soon as I was able to, I worked. So I worked my whole life. So as early as I could, I worked. Dude, I worked physically hard. Yeah. I worked in the kitchen and I worked,
Starting point is 00:58:48 I fucking sweat my ass off busting hump. Why is that not worth a living? Why should I not be able to live on that? Busting your ass? Why is the sweat of my brow
Starting point is 00:59:00 worth less than the sweat of someone else's brow? Why should you be, why should you bust your ass and then make a lot less money? I don't know. I mean, I don't know why. I mean, I feel like, and, and, and this is, this is a way that they get waged workers to fight amongst themselves because they go out of their way to point out, well, if we give the McDonald's worker $15 an hour, that's what a paramedic makes. And do you think they're as important as a paramedic?
Starting point is 00:59:24 And the answer to that question is it's, they're not. The paramedics should make more. Right. Period. They should make more. That's the answer to that question. It's not that this is the limit. It's that the paramedic is being underpaid too. They're also being underpaid. The people that they're going to pit you up against are also being underpaid. They're also being underpaid. Yep. The people that they're going to put, pit you up against are also being underpaid. They're all being underpaid. And you're, you're a thousand percent right. That that is that line,
Starting point is 00:59:52 that whole line of, of reasoning is disingenuous and it is absolutely aimed in order to get the masses to tear each other's throats out. They fight each other. That's it. So as long as we're busy ripping out McDonald's people. Exactly. And let's, let's all rip each other's throats out. They fight each other. That's it. Because as long as we're busy ripping out our own- Paramedics hate McDonald's people. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:00:07 And let's all rip each other's throats out. And that way we don't notice the fucking boot on our fucking neck. And like, let me be clear. There's no boot on my neck. Yeah. Right? Like I'm not trying to say me, Tom. There's no boot on my neck.
Starting point is 01:00:19 I'm old enough and fucking white enough and privileged enough that there's no boot on my neck. Sure, yeah. So I don't want to pretend to the audience that there is. Yeah, I don't work at McDonald's. I don't work a minimum wage job. So I don't want to make clear with my language. But I'm 100% with every person who's ever made minimum wage. Yep.
Starting point is 01:00:36 I'm 100% with them. I'm 100% saying, just like you are, that the minimum wage needs to be a living wage the way it used to be. Period. Because there was a time in American history where the minimum wage was enough to live on. Yeah. That's what it was. We did not have a starvation wage
Starting point is 01:00:52 as the American minimum. Why is the minimum we will accept poverty line and less? Yeah, man. Why is starvation wages, literally starvation wages, something that we've established as I won't go any lower than killing you. That's what I'll do. That's fucking unacceptable.
Starting point is 01:01:11 And then the taxes thing, the reason why we look, this is also tied to the tax rate of very wealthy people. They've not only increased their amount of money that they can get, but they've also decreased the amount of taxes that they are taxed since the 70s. So, you know, you look back then, there's 90% tax rate on certain amount of money. On the ultra-wealthy. They're paying a ridiculous amount of money in taxes after this certain point.
Starting point is 01:01:39 And now it's like, yeah, that's not a thing. And now they essentially structure their pay so that their pay is built in ways that they don't pay hardly any taxes. Right, yeah. All right, so that's going to wrap it up for this week. Be sure to check out our long form episode that we'll be releasing this Thursday.
Starting point is 01:02:02 long form episode that will be releasing this Thursday in it we covered a story about how Christian is Christian nationalism so it's kind of very deeply ingrained with a lot of the things that we talk about in the show really interesting articles
Starting point is 01:02:18 so this upcoming week that will release for the patrons Tom's going to read it for them and then we're going to release to everybody and the patrons an analysis of that article for this Thursday. All right, so that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi Thank you. Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense.
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