Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 691: Fit to be Tied

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

Show Notes    

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, It's political.

And there is no welcome at. Today is Thursday, May 18th. This is my favorite way to- This is how we're doing it now. That's my favorite way. It's just, that's the date. It's my favorite way. Ian will not insert the date.

No, he's not gonna. Because, you know, here's the thing. I don't know how we employ Ian because when we put the call out on the show that we were looking to hire somebody, somehow Ian, clearly not a listener. He applied somehow. Got wind of it somehow.

And I don't know how, Cecil. You know what's funny is we had, when we put that call out, we had both Sarah and Ian apply. We did. And we picked Ian. We wound up hiring them both eventually. What had both Sarah and Ian apply. We did. And we picked Ian. We wound up hiring them both eventually. What a mistake to pick Ian first.

I know, man. Yikes. Wow. It doesn't matter. He doesn't listen, so it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Say whatever we want.

This is a safe place. That's an Ian-free zone. That's every one of our shows. I wanted to talk to you, Tom, because I, I, I've recently, I've been getting a lot of texts lately. Have you been getting a lot of texts from just randos? Okay. So I occasionally will get a text that just says, hello. And every time I get it, I reply, is it me you're looking for? Reply, is it me you're looking for? That's so great. And they never reply back. They never reply back?

They never reply back. See, that could be the start of a beautiful friendship, man. It's clearly not me they're looking for. I feel sad. You're like a sad Lionel Richie. I know. I thought I saw it in their eyes. But no.

I thought I saw it in their smile. There no. I thought I saw it in their smile. There's that blind girl just finds some other dude and you're like, fuck. There's a video, by the way. I'm an old man, so I remember the video. That is an old video. Yeah, it's an old, old video. But it had like a whole story.

Like that whole video, that video had like a whole storyline that had stop and like dialogue and then they kept going like it was but cecil i'm about to yell at a cloud okay because i haven't let's start this show all right first of all all right i haven't seen a music video and i don't even what was the last fucking music video uh for a current song? WAP. Okay, I saw that too. I saw that too. Wet Ass Pussy.

It's a fucking million years. I saw that one. I saw, let's see. That's the one I remember is Wet Ass Pussy. But I used to sit and just fucking watch. I used to watch so many videos. I don't even think about it anymore. And now the idea of just sitting around and watching music videos.

But it's not like I don sitting around and watching music videos. But it's not like I don't listen to new music either. I do. I listen to new music all the time. I listen to new music all the time. I just don't watch the video for it. I don't watch. But there was something about, there was a time, there was a whole time. Yeah.

Podcasts will be this too. There was a whole time. I remember when, so I used to be having onion on my belt. There was a whole time whole time man where people were like i i need to see what the artistic representation of this song and visual media means dude i used to i remember when like tool came out with this box set of dvds yeah and i was and it was fucking so expensive and i was so broke and i'm like everyone care man i'm buying it oh watch that stop motion weird, weird, like meat puppet

to a thing or whatever. And like, now I'm just saying, but I was going to say, music videos used to have a story. They did.

Back in my day, the music told a story. It's so funny because like, there's like a whole, there's like a whole, especially in that video,

there's like a whole thing and it's, it'll be funny. It'll be even funnier if it's not Lionel Richie. And I'm remembering it wrong. That would be even funnier if it's not. It'll be even funnier. I'm not 99% sure it is. I'm not going to look it up. Because I, when I got the hello and I did the, is it me you're looking for? I then searched the lyrics because if they responded, I was going to only respond in lyrics. This is our life now. I was going to have a scam lyrics. This is our life now.

This is it. Yeah. I was going to have a scam exchange that was exclusively Lyle or Richie based. So back to the scam stuff. Yeah.

So last fall, I get a text on my phone and it says, hey, Joe, I can't make it into work tonight. And I just sent back like, hey,

you got the wrong number. This is, I'm not Joe. I'm not Joe. And they're like, Hey, uh, you got the wrong number. This is, I'm not, I'm not Joe. And, and they're like, Oh, I'm so sorry. No problem. I'm like, no problem happens to anybody. Like, so who are you? Like, they're like trying to ask me questions. And I was like, okay, hard pass. So I forgot about it. Oh, I have gotten one of these. And then I start getting, I forgot about it. Oh, I have gotten one of these. And then I start getting, Dave, will you be able to take me to the doctor tomorrow? I just got one today that says, and I get these like two times a week.

I got one today that says, hey, Amy. You get them two times a week? I'm going to Florida in 10 days. Can you pick me up? And I was very tempted to be like, as long as you bring the drugs, but I didn't. I didn't, because here's what they are. They're just,

they're essentially, they skip the I'm a prince from Nigeria. Right. Which used to be like, I'm a prince from, you know, somewhere, and it was Nigeria because that's where they were all sending it from, but it could be anywhere. I'm a prince and I have a million dollars and all I have to do is pay a $50 fee and you could get a bond that'll open a key and then there'll be a guy

and then you're going to stab a girl and then you get the money or whatever. But there's like a whole thing, right? They got a whole thing, but they just want to keep luring you in. Well, they skipped that. Now they make it seem like you got an urgent text from someone. And then if you, like a normal person say, hey, wrong number, they will then find that a way to interact with you and push it to the next level. Now, a lot of people like me, I just block them. As soon as I get the text, I just block the number. I'm like, no, I'm done.

We're not, I don't even respond. I just block the number. But some people will respond, say wrong number and then block the number. And then other people will just like, there's other people out there who are just like friendly and they're just, and they don't realize. And they start off with, there's a crisis. I'm reaching out to a friend and then they can't reach their friend, but they've reached you. And there will be some non-zero number of people that will be like, oh, I can send you money. I can help somebody in need. I got a scam. This just reminded me, I've forgotten about it. It was one of my favorite things I've ever done. I got a scam bot phishing text message that was like, oh, hey, you know, like I'm in town just for a few days or whatever. I went jogging and it was like a sexy one. Right. So it was like, yeah, they do this too. And so then like, I was like sitting next

to Haley and I'm like, what the hell is this? So she's like, oh, let's, let's mess it. So I started messing with it back. And so like, I started saying increasingly filthy things to this thing. And it's clearly a bot. There's no one on the other end. This is all programmed, you know, so there's nothing. And I did the whole thing just to get screen grabs of an insanely raunchy conversation that I was able to create with this thing before finally getting bored and then just deleting it and blocking the number.

It's like text GPT or whatever. Yeah, it is. Well, and that's the thing, Cecil, is that I was literally just today reading an article about nefarious uses, like on like Wired. Yeah. Like potential nefarious uses for GPT. And one like potential nefarious uses for gpt and one of the

things is they'll be able to create essentially unlimited very realistic bots that can interact with people through messenger through text messages and you won't be able to tell the difference it won't feel like a bot these things things, at least, these scam messages, if you push them and say weird stuff to them, they don't know what to do and they feel like a bot. Yeah, yeah. I think, I don't know how body these are. I don't know. But I know for sure, after I got enough of these,

I looked it up to see like, what the fuck this is all about. And it really is about trying to get to know you to figure out something about you to then try to get to the next level, which is either getting money off you or stealing your identity. Jesus Christ. So those are the ways in which they do it.

So now I don't even make it so it looks like I have my phone number. Because one of the things too is, and I don't know how close we are to this, but one of the things, I have a lot of things locked behind my phone. Require a second level layer of verification that requires my phone in my hand, whether that's the face ID, whether it's an app in there that I have to type the number or it's a text message, right? It's one of those three things. And, uh, they can, uh, with, you know, there's technology out there that allows people to like steal people's numbers. And so that's something that can, that can be a very, it can, it can eventually really fuck you over if they think they can find

a number that's associated with me. So I'm like, I don't even answer anymore. I just, I just let it go. I'm like, well, if they show up at the airport and Amy ain't there, that ain't my problem. Like, I don't know. I think you should just be like, yep, be right there. I had considered pretending to be the people that they've texted. Yeah, that's what I mean. I had considered to be like, yeah, sure. No problem. As long as you bring that 46 inch dildo, I'm down or whatever, you know, like, you know, just something, but I didn't, I've never done it yet.

Mainly because I just don't want to keep, I know there's people out there that like doing that, but I don't, I also like, I don't know all the back end stuff that could happen. Makes you nervous. So I'm nervous. I'm like, if it was a burner phone, no problem. But it's my personal phone. With all your life on it. Exactly.

There's almost nothing that I can think of that is more intimate than yourself. Yeah, really, truly. Yeah. Like it's a crazy intimate. It's your finances are on there. It's like, you know, text to your wife. It's just, it's everything. Like, it's like this intensely,

it's like everybody is walking around with their fucking deer diary and their fucking checkbook and like so much else in their pocket. It's just like, what if I took every really deeply personal thing and I put it in my pocket

and every day I walk around with it. It's like, does that, that doesn't seem crazy. It's, that's crazy. It's only protected by a small amount of security. I mean,

it's, it's right. It is, it is, it's fairly robust, fairly robust because the police can't get into it. Well, you know what I mean?

So I thought that too, until I listened to a, either it was the Daily or the Journal like this week that like there's a there's a spy technology that like Israel made and is being sold around.

Oh, I saw that. I saw that on Nova. It breaks open like iPhone encryptions and shit. It breaks it open and steals shit. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that.

Yeah. So it's like, yeah, like the police can't get in there. It's like, yeah, but there's technology out there that exists. There's technology that gets out there and can get in there. Yeah, for sure. So you're like, all right, well, I saw that, yeah. So it's like, yeah, like the police can't get in there. It's like, yeah, but there's technology out there that exists. There is technology that gets out there and can get in there. Yeah, for sure.

So you're like, all right, well, if it exists, some bad actor is going to get it. If they want a folder full of three gigabytes of dick pics from me, they can get it. They can have my photos, right? You can go in there and take my photos. The photos are huge. The dick nuts. Right. The size of the photo, though.

It's like a full meg. You know what? I don't need a megapixel. That's all I'm saying. The size of the photo, though. It's like a full meg. You know what? I don't need a megapixel. That's all I'm saying. I don't need megapixels. I need mini pixels. Am I a man? Or am I a muppet?

Am I a muppet? If I'm a muppet, then I'm a very manly muppet. Very manly muppet. Am I a muppet? Muppet, then I'm a very manly Muppet. Very manly Muppet. Am I a Muppet? Muppet. Or am I a man? Am I a man?

If I'm a man, that makes me a Muppet of a man. A Muppet of a man. This story comes from Jezebel. Josh Hawley explains how the Bible can solve our country's masculinity crisis. And I like Cecil to begin with the idea that there is even a masculinity crisis. And that someone that looks like him and acts like him could tell me what that is. What it is. Right. Yeah. Absolutely. You know, he does lead off with saying, all is not well with men in this country. And like, just like the Jezebel article,

I do tend to agree. Like, okay, I agree. I don't think it's a masculinity crisis though. Yeah, no. Like, I don't know what a masculinity crisis could possibly even entail. Like, is it sunning your asshole like Tucker Carlson wanted us to do

in order to like, oh no, he wanted us to put red lights on our nuts. That's what he wanted. No, it was sunning your asshole. Yeah, there was a sunning your asshole for him too. Yeah, there was a, there was a people standing on their hands and shooting the moon to the, to the stars or whatever. A moon for the moon. Moon for the stars. And then there's sun in their own asshole. Cause it like increased, there was whatever. Their testosterone or what have you. You know, when I hear people say this dumb shit, it reminds me that like,

look, these guys, every one of these guys wants to just basically have what a very, very thin idea, very small, very narrow idea of what they consider masculine. And there's a, I think there's something to be said

and I actually think it's more masculine, right. To have a wider range and a more accepting range of what masculine can be. Right. You know, there's, there's a lot of these people out there that are like, this is it. It's like trucks and boobies and like strip clubs and, um, you know, drinking Bud Light or whatever it is, you know, like this, these like seven things are masculine. And then the rest of it's like, well, it might be a little gay. I don't know, buddy. It might be a little gay.

Right. You might not want to do that. It's a little gay. And that's, and it's just, I just think I'm like, dude, you're so fragile. Holy shit, are you fragile? So fucking fragile.

Yeah. And it occurs to me, like it occurs to me that like, this like constant grasping for masculinity feels like the last gasps of trying to hold on to patriarchal male power, right? Yeah, I think you're right, yeah. It's like, well, I gotta exude this certain,

very narrow definition of what manliness is. And really what I want is the power that men used to have over women and minorities. They want specifically the kind of power that traditionally men have wielded like a weapon. Yeah. And they're bemoaning. What they're bemoaning is not a lack of masculinity. What they're bemoaning is they don't feel as powerful in difference, in comparison to

other groups. That masculinity does not confer the same power. Right. I don't have all the, I'm losing out on some of these privileges. Well, maybe if I get abs, you know, because that's what those grifters are selling, right? These fucking masculinity grifters are selling shit like, well, you got to get abs. You got to do gym bro shit. You got to learn to fight.

You got to be this kind of guy. Like you got to, you got to hype your masculinity. You got to do gym bro shit. You got to learn to fight. You got to be this kind of guy. Like you got to, you got to hype your masculinity. You got to like boost it. You got to get a faster car, a bigger, better watch. You got to get, you know, flashier clothes because if you do, you'll get back the privileges of the 1950s. Right. And like, that's all nonsense. And they're selling that to impressionable young people who are entering a world where they're afraid of parity. They're afraid of equality because they're leaving a world where their fathers didn't have to emulate it. And that's the thing, right?

Is that they're seeing a world that their fathers had that they don't get to inherit. Right. And they're like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Yeah. I should inherit. That should be mine too. Right.

Yeah. And I will say, if I'm going to be at all generous, and I think it's right to be generous, that all social transitional moments are hard for everybody. Sure. Right. Because a lot of the definitions, good and bad definitions, and everything in between, when they all get kind of reconsidered, a lot of people are left without good guidance. And so they end up with guides through this, a lot of people are left without good guidance. And so they end up with guides through this, like Jordan Peterson. And they end up with guides through this, like Andrew Tate. So if they end up with bad guides through a big social transition, and they feel ill-equipped to manage themselves through that transition, at the ground level, I don't want to blame those individual young people at the ground level. I don't want to blame that those individual young

people at the ground. No, no, no. What I blame are the people who are grifting and selling and reinforcing. And that includes preachers. Like how much of this like masculinity shit do you see coming from these fucking hate preachers, traditional family, that guy in the basement. Yeah. That guy in the basement. Like when you hear him talk about women, you can tell how much he has, how much contempt he has for women. Absolutely. You can just tell.

And there's women in the audience who nod along and agree with him. Yeah, man. Because they're indoctrinated in that stuff. I don't, I treat the people that you're talking about, these young impressionable men, I treat them in the same way that I would somebody who's seeking a quack cancer cure.

Right. They are in a position where they're, they're, they're in a difficult spot. They're feeling vulnerable. They're in a difficult spot. Their brain is in a different, a difficult place. And, and I think like, you know, the best thing for them is for people to try to reach out to them, right. Not to shun them, to try to reach out to them. I don't feel like this is something that we should tax with anybody but dudes. I think dudes need to do this. Dudes need to do this.

Dudes need to do this for other guys to be like, this is not, you need to be more accepting about what masculine is. You need better role models than these three jokers. 100%, man. You need way better role models. And, you know, I think like this sort of thing sells to our generation really well

and to the boomer generation really well. So like Gen X and boomer, I think really that masculinity streak of like this is masculine really was ingrained like fucking crazy into us. I don't know that millennials and younger have as deep a steep a hill to climb. And that what worries me is that, you know, these older people that are like the older millennials, the Gen Xers and the boomers or whatever are influencing these young people to get bad ideas, right? You know what I mean? Where they could have been in a society with like, was like, oh man, this is like old person shit.

Shut the fuck up. That's old person shit. And that's the worry that I share, right? Is that, you know, I've read a number of articles and I've talked to my 16-year-old kids. And like my 16-year-old boys in high school, they know who Andrew Tate is and their peers fucking love Andrew Tate.

They fucking love that guy. They revere, not my kids' friends. My kids aren't shitheads. But like, we've talked about it like openly. Like there's a streak where these guys are, these, these grifters are being successful. They're making inroads. It feels like, and like the incel movement is part of that. And the red pill stuff is part of that. And the manosphere rise is part of it. And it's like, it is people our age seeing this social transition and recognizing they can cash in on insecurities that young people have.

All young people are vulnerable because they're insecure. Insecurity is a hallmark of adolescence and youth. And so I think there's a really craven and cynical recognition that they can get in there. They can build a brand that really kind of like sells them these bad ideas. These Jordan Peterson-esque nonsense ideas about manliness

and like roles and what men are for and what women are for and all this stuff. If they get them at the right time, that message can be very compelling. And I worry about that message because I think you're right.

If they were left to their own devices, they wouldn't give a shit. They wouldn't give a shit. They would move past it. But no one's leaving them to their own devices. Yeah, society would move past it. It would.

I feel like, you know, like we saw some of these big progressive changes in our lifetime that, you know, where there were these push progressive changes where to the point where

now we're seeing stuff snap back and we're shocked by it. We're just shocked. Because we thought we made that progress. And so that's why I feel like it genuinely would be a, you know, it wouldn't even be probably much of an issue. Sure. You'd have some people, but I don't think you'd have the same level. But yeah, that Andrew Tate and the rest of them, you know, and it's being echoed by senators. This is not something that there's just like, this is not a podcaster movement. No.

This is a movement of the people on the right. I mean, look at what DeSantis is doing. 100%. Look at what DeSantis is doing down. I mean, he just passed a law or recently signed a bill into law that said that he can take away kids. Oh my God, I know.

If they're like, you know, involved in a family where the family cuts their hair in a certain way, you know, to let them express their gender. Yep. It's fucking insane. I mean- It's a different country. Florida's a different country.

And in the same last two years, he was the one who was saying, how dare the federal government come in here and tell us what we should do with our kids if we don't want them to wear masks. And you're like, come on, man. It's one way, but it's not. They don't, they can bend and they can twist in any way that they want. And he has made this, this fight against woke politics down there. But you talk about, if you want to talk about like the cesspitpit of garbage masculinity, it's Florida.

It is. It's Florida. And you're absolutely right. And I want to be really clear. There are power brokers that are very, very powerful working against progress. And that is what the right wing is. It is a power brokerage to fight progress. And the churches, like to Josh Hawley's point, the churches are instrumental in that work. The churches have a

vested thousands plus year old interest in keeping women as a second-class citizenry. And they've got a whole book and a whole ideology and a whole theology based around not in our clubhouse. The Catholic church doesn't allow women as priests. They don't allow women at any of the high levels. There are no power positions that women can hold in the Catholic church. Most other churches are the similar. There are some churches that will allow women to be preachers or reverends or what have you, but they are fewer and farther between. These churches preach a Bible-based way to discriminate against women, right? They're using this theology. And then the Congress people

are like, oh, well, American right is a christian coalition all we have to do is pander to that we can couch any of our misogyny and any of this bible shit you can eat your own poop but if you eat the poop that you poop out after eating the first poop it's so toxic you'll die this is a fast one this is a good a quick story cecil and i almost put this in with the silly stuff but i didn't on purpose because it's great. This is from local12.com. Court doc, woman charged with felony after desecrating altar

in hospital chapel. The very best part of this story, like many of these short stories, is just the very end of it. It's like two parrots, less than two parrots. It's two sentences. Cincinnati. Unsurprising. It's two sentences. Cincinnati. Unsurprising.

Of all the places. She probably has some of that Skyline. It's WKRC. It is WKRC. In Cincinnati. I didn't know that was a real thing. Is this a joke? I don't think this is a joke.

No. I don't think this is a joke. Okay. WKRP is the fake one. So one letter off. I forgot. I was like, well, it got me off. I forgot. I was like, well, it got me there

for a second. I was like, oh. A woman was charged with a felony after allegedly desecrating a place of worship on Saturday. Okay.

According to a court document, Laura Miniard defecated on the altar in the Good Samaritan Hospital Chapel then used the fabric runner on the altar to wipe herself.

Oh, no. It's probably Skyline Chili Day. How could you tell the difference between it and Skyline Chili? You can't blame a lady after eating Cincinnati Chili for having

to shit where you have to shit. Don't they serve that on spaghetti noodles? They do. You can get it on noodles. And it has like cinnamon in it or something. Get the fuck out of here. I did like a work thing in Cincinnati for like three weeks.

I had to live and work down in Cincinnati for three weeks many, many years ago. You have to walk around with a fucking priest altar runner with you all day just in case you shit your pants like you were on a Lester or whatever. You should be.

Yeah, absolutely. It's like, I may as well get a Starbucks coffee with olive oil in it. Inside the fucking runner up on you like a diaper and you guys look at it.

Like one of those sumo diapers just like walk in and skyline like, I'm ready for my chili. It's got a big cross on the front of it. It smells like incense. Jesus Christ.

You don't want to light anything. You'll fucking be a flamethrower in the rear. Are you kidding me? Are you aware that around Greece, they light kids in diapers? Have you had that chili? So I took a single bite of it.

So bad. A single bite of it. And I was like, that is the rest of my life. I will never eat this. That is two bites too many. And here's the thing, right? I'm not saying that cinnamon can't be savory. I've had many dishes where cinnamon can be savory.

It's just used in a way there that I think is unpleasant. It's unpleasant. Super bad. It's unpleasant. And the noodles add nothing. It's unpleasant. Super bad. It's unpleasant. And the noodles add nothing. It's like, the noodles add nothing. Why would you want noodles

underneath your chili? Chili should be robust enough to be its own meal. Why the fuck do I need to add noodles? And it's because like, you want to actually, you want to taste something

that isn't this chili. That's the reason. As you're eating it, you're desperate. You're trying to, you're trying to, desperate. And that's why you want it to be long so that it it cleans everything slurp it down jesus christ oh yeah it's like a pipe cleaner you're like eating pipe cleaners i had a

i had a buddy who was down in cincinnati when i was worried oh you gotta try it it's so good it's like a local and i was like okay yeah sounds good and you know me like i'll eat food even if i don't like it if i'm hungry uh-uh not with that chili i was like, okay, yeah, sounds good. And you know me, like, I'll eat food even if I don't like it, if I'm hungry. Uh-uh, not with that chili. And I love chili, man. Yeah. Like, I'll eat Wendy's chili. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, I'm not like, it's got to be great. You're not discerning, right? I'm not a snob about it. The only chili I'll eat is off of like a food truck in Texas or something. Right, yeah. Horrible. Yeah.

It is so bad. So again, if she shit herself, first of all, it explains her beingrible. Yeah. It is so bad. So again, if she shit herself, first of all, it explains her being in the hospital. It really does. It explains her being in the hospital. This whole thing,

it can be explained by Skyline Chili. By one local dish. I want the overseas listeners to look up a picture of Skyline Chili on the spaghetti noodles and tell me that it doesn't look like

someone desaturated that photo of all color. Tell me that that's not what it looks like. It looks like a reddish gray mass. Yes. If you see it, you'll bang the side of your monitor like something went wrong. You'll think you're like, no, clearly there's something wrong with this photo. No, you think it might've been taken in like the 1940s when the restaurant opened and then they kept it up for 60 years. Indirect sunlight. Indirect sunlight with a fluorescent light behind it on the board or whatever. And you're like, that's gotta be what it is.

No, that's the actual color of that food. Yeah. It's unreal. Yeah. It's a real, it's a genuine. And I know a couple of things are going to happen. One is people are going to yell at me because I said Texas had the best chili.

So we're going to get messages that are going to be like, no, you got to have this type of chili or this type of chili. Same thing happens when you mentioned barbecue or barbecue sauce. Oh yeah, oh yeah. They're like, no, no, no, it's very regional. This one is the best one. No, this one is the best one.

It's like, okay. There's no best barbecue sauce. Most barbecue sauces are excellent. Yeah, I love barbecue sauce. Most barbecue sauces are really good. Yeah, yeah. There's no best barbecue sauce. Most barbecue sauces are excellent. Yeah. I love barbecue sauce. Most barbecue sauces are really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're absolutely right. Like whether it's vinegar based or tomato based or whatever, it's good. If it's a good version of those, give me. Yeah. Give me. Mustard based. There's a place that we used to go to where they had a couple of them that I was just like, this one is outstanding.

Yeah, man. Two or three of them that I was like, these ones. And I would take them and mix them together and they were just oh so good but uh you know chili is one of those things too that you know people get really upset when you talk about how different chili is and how like you know this if it has beans in it there's a huge uproar people don't like it with beans and like no they can't have any beans people fight about ground beef versus cube meat. God forbid you put corn or potato in there. Oh. Holy shit.

Get ready for a fight. But corn is so good in chili. It's delicious. I love corn in my chili. I like all kinds of weird additives in there. I think it's fun. Yeah. So I've had it with different kinds,

like pushing the bean envelope where I'm fucking around. And people will be so mad at some of the chili I've made. Dude, it's a very versatile stew. I will say this. I've never made skyline chili. No, because you're a classically trained chef. I do also real quick, like I love hyper local dishes. Yeah, yeah.

When you're traveling. Yeah. When we went hunting, when we were down in Southern Illinois, they had that horseshoe. Oh, I was going to say, I thought it was something else. A shoe horn. It's called a horseshoe. Oh, I was going to say, I thought it was something else. A shoehorn. It's called a horseshoe. And I'm trying to remember what it was. It was fries on a sandwich or something, right? It was fries on something. It was a sauce over the whole thing. It was a sauce and a fries and a thing.

There was like a gravy and a sauce and a fries. You didn't get it because you were like, no, I'm hungry and I want to eat a food. I don't want to like- Did you get one? No, none of us got one. Yeah. I think, I'm trying to remember. Someone else at another table came by and I think you wiped the sweat off your head. You're like, no, thank goodness I don't want to like, did you get one? No, none of us got one. Yeah. I think I'm trying to remember someone else at another table came by and I think you wiped the sweat off your head. You're like, no, thank goodness. I didn't get that. Cause it's like a fucking, like, it's like a whole loaf of bologna or something. It was crazy. French fries stuffed into it. I remember reading it being like, I can't burn that many calories in a year. I can't, I could run a marathon every single day. And I'd be like, I still gained six pounds eating a fucking horseshoe.

But here's the thing. Like the people from that area will tell you how great it is. They will. They love it. And it's because you grew up with it. It's like, okay, the same thing happens with this New York pizza. Like I've never, like I never ever bring a pizza to anybody. I never bring it up.

I'm never like, oh, your pizza. I've never, I'm always like, I'm a pizza. I'm a, I'm like, I like all kinds. I like so many kinds of pizza. Bring all the different types of kinds of pizza. I love it. But what, what happens is, is every single New Yorker's got to gaslight me into thinking Sbarro's is good. And I'm just like, no, it's not. It's fucking sat out for 45 minutes. And then they put it back in the oven to burn the food poisoning off of it. And then they're giving it to you.

Look, man, I get it. When you're hungry and you just want a slice of pizza, I'll eat, I'll choke down a piece of Sbarro's too. But don't tell me it's the best pizza in the world. You cannot gaslight me that much. It's impossible to gaslight me that much. I will say like some local specialty foods are absolutely fucking killer.

Yeah. Right. Like Chicago style. And I'm not going to only say Chicago, but like Chicago style Giardiniera. Yeah. When I realized that that's something you can't get in the rest of the world. Yeah. That's no, that is the rest of the world is bereft.

It is a smaller place. And Italian beef is nothing you can get. I mean, you'll get something like it in other places, but it's not like here. It's not. It's not like here. Not. So like there are some like local specialty foods

that are just fucking crushing it. And it's such a joy to go to places and have their local thing that for some reason- Like a Philly cheesesteak, Tom. No, no, no, no. Outrage. That's an outrage cecil that's terrible but there's some stuff that should stay local four hours out of your way for four hours for that sandwich i was primed to like it yeah i wanted so i was like i am still me dude i just love to eat i I was fucking hungry.

I was already sunk cost into that goddamn sandwich. I was ready to love that. If that sandwich had been five out of ten good, in my mind, I'd have made it an eight and a half. I'd have sung its fucking praises, Cecil. It's a one. It was disgusting. It was genuinely bad. I still ate the whole thing it was genuinely i did i was

so hungry it was so bad oh man like i was it was like 2016 and i was working out a lot my metabolism was through the roof and so when i would get hungry i would get like shaky yeah and so we drove like four hours and i was like i have got to eat this sandwich. And so think about like, you're in that place in your life where you're like, dude, I'll eat a bird. If a bird flies by, I'll pull it out of the air, bite its head off. And I'll be like, good bird. This thing was still bad tasting, dude. Let's play a game. This is another version of Ted from last week with one subtle difference. Can you spot it? Listen closely. Hey, everybody. We just got done recording our AMA and boy, was it a doozy. So be sure to listen to it coming up right now, or it already happened. I don't know where this is going,

but you know what? I'm sad. Not just sad, but disappointed. Why, you ask? Thanks for asking. Because no one asked about how they could save 50% or more on any one item when they went to adamandeve.com. I mean, this seems an obvious, if not easily, and therefore welcomed question. You, of course, would use code glory at adamandeve.com. You know what you might not have known about when you use code glory? Wet ass P word. However, that sentence is supposed to be formatted, you get 10 free gifts. What gifts, I hear you exclaim? How about a gift for you?

That's cool, you say. And you know what? How about I throw in another gift for them? For them too, you ask incredulously. Ah, yes. And guess what? Here's another gift for you both. What?

You didn't think I'd say that, did you? Well, how about you ask me anything about the rest of the gifts so long as you're asking about getting those six free spicy movies? Oh, and how's about you get some discreet free shipping? And double how's about you get some rushed processing? Oh my gosh, if only some of you asked about how you could get this by using code glory at adamandeve.com, then you would have known about the savings and free gifts you would have received at adamandeve.com when you used code glory. Oh well, maybe next time. Please use code glory at adamandeve.com.

Thanks. Did you hear it? Did you see? Will you please use code glory look i was tired back to the episode don't you have a church to desecrate or something all right this story comes from outsports.com which i've never heard of but still i liked it uh catholic league and senator marco rubio launched holy war against dodgers pride night and the sisters of perpetual indulgence. I only grabbed this because I never heard of the sisters. I'm going to put this on the big screen. I fucking love this so much. This is a group of people, um, that basically care for people who are, you know, on the margins that the church won't care for. Right. Especially talking

about people that they reject like LGBT group. And in the 1980s, care for, right? Especially talking about people that they reject, like the LGBT group. And in the 1980s, AIDS patients. And the AIDS patients, when they wouldn't deal with AIDS patients. They were ministering to AIDS patients in the 1980s. And so they did a lot of great work and the Dodgers, good for them,

are like, hey, you know what? We want to honor you. We're in recognition. And then evidently all across the country in a place very, very far away from where the Dodgers are, there's a lot of people who are very upset because they're saying they're mocking, oh, you're mocking Catholicism.

You're mocking nuns, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And basically they just, what they want is, here's what they want without saying it. I want you to let those people die. That's what I want you to do. Anybody who you're helping, anybody who you're ministering to, anybody, I want you to let them die and stop doing good work because I hate those people. And I want those people to, but they can't say that. That's what they mean, right?

That's what they want. That's what they say. That's what they want. They hate those people to go, but they can't say that. That's what they mean, right? That's what they want. That's what they say. That's what they want. They hate those people. But what they have to say is, well, you're being very disrespectful with how you're treating. So I want you to stop. And I don't want the Dodgers not to spread the word of this organization. I think as you're like, what they want is for their hate to be held sacred. Yeah, exactly. They want to take their hate and to enshrine it as religiously sacred. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, all right, but no.

Yeah. But no. And I'm saying like, you can't dress up in a way, also just as an aside, you cannot dress up in a way that is more inherently ridiculous than the Catholic outfits.

The Catholic outfits. They already look insane. Yeah. So they're like, oh, this is a making a mockery. And it's like, have you seen you? Yeah. Look at you. Compared to the rest of the modern world, you look fucking nuts.

I know you don't watch this stuff, Cecil, but it was hilarious. I watched just like clips on the New York Times when Charles was coronated. That's amazing. And I watched these like 15 second, like clippy clips. I'm a guy who, who I, until I don't know that I still belong.

Cause I haven't really been in a while, but I used to belong to a medieval recreation society. Yeah. So I, I've been involved in these types of like ceremonies and like outfits. Right. So here's the thing though. Pretending.

When you're, when it's pretend, it looks like a shit. Right. So here's the thing though. Pretending. When it's pretend, it looks like a costume. Yeah. And there's nothing like weird to me about a costume, right? Like people show up and they wear a costume

and they're playing a game and like, that's cool. Everybody go do your thing. Wear a costume, play a game. That's your, but what was crazy Cecil is like, this is the real thing.

Like Charles was getting coronated and it's the real thing. And it looks as like, this is the real thing. Like Charles was getting coronated and it's the real thing. And it looks as like put upon as a costume. As a costume, sure. It looks the same. It looks like the SCA. It looks crazy. It looks like the SCA.

Because it's supposed to be a solemn thing. It's supposed to be real. It's supposed to be this like, like I said, like this solid, this is an ancient orb. And it's just like, it looks like a weird egg you're holding, dude. And he's like, and now I'll say these weird magic words and hand you this ring. And it's this giant, ugly ass.

It all looks like costume jewelry and silliness. And it's like, yeah, when it's actually silliness and costume jewelry, it is somehow less absurd than when you take it all for fucking serious. Yeah, because nobody's saying this is a real thing. I'm actually the king. Everybody around it is like, cool, and I'm going to go to work on Monday. Right, it's like, I'm the king. It's like, dude, you drive a Hyundai.

Yeah. You're like, are you serious? You're not a king. King of what? Yeah, you're not a king. But for real though, that guy is very powerful. He is. And he has a ton of,

I mean, influence. Powerful in a way that like, he's not like, like physically powerful. He's like, Oh no, his little sausage fingers.

Absolutely not. His weird little sausage fingers. Big hands. And he's, he's a weird looking dude, but he's, and he's also oldest. Dude,

he's so old. He's the oldest. It's gotta be 70, right? Oh, he's in his mid to late 70s. No kidding. Yeah, dude, he's, and he's also oldest. Dude, he's so old. He's the oldest. It's gotta be 70, right? Something like that? he's in his mid to late 70s. No kidding. Yeah,

dude, he's old as fuck. Fuck, mom was old. Yeah, dude. She was like a million, man.

She was 90 something. God damn. Anyway, but he's like, he's like a, you know, he's kind of a joke to all of us. Right.

We see that and we're like, what the fuck is that? You know? Yeah. But yeah, it's, it's's it is a lot of fucking it's just so weird to see a guy like hold a mace now i know man he's like he's got a sector that's weird i know dude it looks it looked so fucking unbelievably and then it gets in like a carriage yeah and i And I'm just like, are you serious? Was it a pumpkin? Right. If it was a pumpkin,

it would have been less silly. It would have been less silly, Cecil. Was it pulled by corgis? That would have been the best. A pumpkin pulled by corgis? A pumpkin pulled by corgis. Yes. Someone make this happen.

Nothing else in the world matters more than that. I know that the point you were trying to make was that nothing, like that's a serious person. That's a serious person. You can't make fun of things like this.

Like, it's impossible. I know that's the point you're trying to make, right? So, like, I see a nun and I'm like, you look ridiculous. Yes, you look ridiculous. It's fine that you want to do this thing with your life. I actually think, like, nuns actually are, nuns in general do a hell of a lot more good than priests. Sure. Right?

So, like, I don't even want to make fun of them. I mean, they bury some kids on occasion, but yeah. I don't say they all do good. Like, there's a lot of, they're part of an organization that is an inherently evil organization, but there are also a lot of nuns, I think,

that do a lot of real good in the world. Right. But like, you can't look at the outfit and be like, no, you made fun of my outfit. It's like,

no, you're wearing that outfit. Yeah. You look absurd. You made fun of you long before I made fun of you. This person wearing makeup and like fucking sparkle face doesn't look less silly.

I think I look dope. Right. You actually look fucking cool. I think I want to go back to it. I love the guy. So I'm going to explain it to people at home. Basically, they look like if you cast a spell on a Mardi Gras float. Yes.

And it came to life. Like that's what they look like the guy on the left uh on their our right their left has a has a rainbow glitter all over their face that their face is white but then rainbow glitter in a pattern that looks like a blue beard and then like kind of like some things going up over their eyes it looks amazing and then the other one there the other person on the far left which would be their right, looks awesome too. Almost looks like a almost like a Sphinx or something. You know what I mean?

Like that sort of face. Right. Really cool. Amazing makeup and they look like they're just out having a good time. You know what I mean? They're having a good time and they're doing good work. And they're being recognized by the Dodgers of all things. But cool. Like whatever. Like whatever recognition. But like this fucking Bill Dowling work and they're being recognized by the dodgers of all things but cool like whatever like whatever

recognition but like this fucking bill dowling and the rest of the fucking catholic panty bunchers and fucking pearl grabbers they're the worst get out of here yeah maybe if we had our independence sooner we'd have no gun control not believe in evolution and i'll be morbidly obese without health care sister it comes from boing boing.net, Christian medical cost-sharing ministry accused of stealing $4 million from members. So we've talked about cost-sharing ministries before. So what this is is liar's insurance sold by churches. Yeah.

That's what it is. Sure. They pretend to you that it's not insurance because insurance is evil and you've been taught that insurance is evil. So instead they've come up with this unique scam or this unique take or scheme. All the people that are Christian and like-minded will pool their resources by paying some kind of a monthly due. And then when you need money—

Sounds suspiciously like insurance. Keep going. Yeah, and then when you need money, you submit a request with evidence, and then somebody looks at your request and supposedly will take some of the pooled money, the pooled resources, and they will use the pooled resources to pay your request for medical care. Now, if that sounds exactly like medical insurance, it does differ in one important way. It's entirely unregulated. They deny all claims and steal your money. I guess that's three important ones. Sure. So, but other than that, very similar. And it's similar in the way to like the CEOs get rich off of it. They do. You know what I mean? Like it's similar in that sense. That is true. You know what I mean? Like, you know, when they started saying like there's $4 million in their bank account, I'm like, I have something

really important to tell you about insurance CEOs right now. Cause there's a lot4 million in their bank account. I'm like, I have something really important to tell you about insurance CEOs right now because there's a lot of money in their bank account as well. Oh yeah, for sure. But the difference is, I think, is that, and also denying claims too. I'm not going to say that they don't deny claims because they do.

Oh, insurance companies deny claims. We are lucky in the sense that we work for companies that are big enough where they can swing dick if they deny our claim. They could be like, I can go talk to my human resources person who could then talk to somebody else who could then maybe talk to this insurance company and be like, you got to pay this thing. It's not a pre-existing condition. You got to pay it. And there could be some sort of conversation because that's thousands of people on the line you know, on the line for this, which is a big deal for them. And they'll just, they would just fucking pay it.

They don't even want to get in that fight. They didn't want to get to that first part of that. They would just be like, who is this? Oh, it's that, it's that group. Yeah, no, we just pay that. We don't, I am absolutely positive. I have no idea how the internal structures of these things work, but I guarantee the bigger, the bigger the place, there's like a group number that just gets bypassed all the people and goes, if the doctor said it, it's

probably good. You call an insurer, like if your company was unhappy with, if your employees were unhappy with the insurance provided through the company, then they just wouldn't re-up the next year with that insurance. That's what I'm saying, yeah. And so the insurance broker has an incentive to provide coverage that doesn't deny claims as often. Exactly. And we're very often at all, but like a lot of people get substandard insurance. And the thing is that like insurance and I, insurance is by definition, a substandard way to pay for it. It is absolutely. Yeah. So no matter how great your insurance is, your insurance is shit by comparison to what we should have. So even if you have the best insurance in the world,

it's a fucking garbage plan compared to what we should have, which is you shouldn't have to have medical insurance. Yeah, and think about it this way. All these people who are now pissing their money away and giving it essentially to a person who's just treating it like their own personal slush fund. They just took it.

They just took it. Yeah, and it's not even their own slush fund where they're keeping it in a bank for the company. They just took it and put it in their own bank. They're just like, thank you. They're like, no, I'm just going to go on my app now and transfer $3 million or whatever. And they're going to move it between banks

and they're going to call it a day. But these people are, you know, it's so funny because all they had to do was say one thing about the insurance and they could convince these people to give them their money in this grift. You know, it's the same thing I see when they talk about, you know, the evils of socialism, transgender people, et cetera, et cetera. All they have to do is name like one thing to hit their trigger button, you know, and they can easily flip so many people over to this other system that is less use. I mean, and think about us. We're saying it's less useful than insurance. And we hate insurance.

And we hate insurance. Like think about that. Insurance is not good. Yeah. Yeah. But insurance is regulated. Yeah. That's the thing is that every single state

has a department of insurance that requires and then there are federal regulations around insurance. There's a lot of regulation around health insurance. Yeah.

So as bad as it is, there are limits to how awful it can be. But, you know, Cecil, you make a good point and that is that, you know, the reason this works,

the reason these Christian ministries are able to grift using insurance, because this was never a thing until politicians laid the groundwork during the Obamacare negotiations to poison the public well against the idea of insurance. Yeah. Because, you know, Obamacare was like, everybody's got to get insurance. And then there were politicians who were out there saying, that's un-American, nobody should have to get insurance. And then there was a backlash, right?

There's those reactionary people. Well, now I'm not going to get insurance. I'm not going to get insurance because no government is going to tell me I have to go out and buy a policy. And that is built into Obamacare was the initially it got thrown out. Initially, it was the requirement that everybody have some kind of coverage. And that was the reaction.

Well, now I'm not going to get any coverage. And then these Christian grifters, they come along and say, oh, there's a pool of people that are right wing reactionaries that don't have any insurance coverage and won't buy any. So what we have to do is create a product that looks and smells like insurance, doesn't get regulated, lives in this weird religious space that nobody's like, yeah.

So it all just happened and politicians made this happen. They created this grift. They birthed this grift. And you're right. There was the people that were saying, I don't want to get any insurance. But then there was also

that whole group of people who were like, I love my insurance. Oh, I love my insurance every night. I love my insurance. I, I,

I like sexting with my insurance agent. Are you kidding me? Jake from State Farm comes on my asshole every night. I love him every night 11 30 you up cucumber squirt squirt every night is being gay an illness yes it is how come every time i kiss a girl my stomach hurts those are butterflies well they're gay too sister it comes from lgbtq nation preacher says teachers turn kids transgender to make them

hate god teachers turn kids transgender to make it don't try don't do this i'm sorry thank you i was just trying to parse it out i appreciate you not making my i actually really do thank you for letting me move on dot my fucking org bro jesus christ that helps okay here we go i'm gonna put this on the big screen okay so what i love about this is that he's in a clearly in like a hand-painted mural place all right here we go so i'm gonna this. This is about a minute long of this fucking degenerate shit bag telling us some stuff that is going to make me very

angry. Here we go. They want to get these children. They want to pump them. First of all, they put them into the wicked school system. Hold on a second. Did he say they want to pump them? Did he say they want to pump them? They're not priests. Come on. Hold on a second. Let me see what he says. They want to get these children say they want to pump them? Did he say they want to pump them? They're not priests. Come on.

Hold on a second. Let me see what he says. They want to get these children. They want to pump them. They want to... First of all, they put them into the wicked school. I think he's going to try to say... Pump them full of...

Pump them full of hormones or something. I think that's what he meant to say. He's talking about himself. He's talking about himself. I didn't know they meant that. Also, he's got a fucking second graders haircut guys I love

he has a second grader flowy haircut you are missing you are missing the length of his tie he could wipe his ass like it's an altar with that thing

he's got one of those he's got one of of those runners for an altar he wrapped around his neck. Holy shit. This is a tie you have to literally throw over your shoulder. It's so long. That's a dick obscuring tie. It's so long. What the fuck? This is a tie you would wear to play sexy times with nothing else on.

It's really, really obscenely long. I'm sorry. You're right. I was focused on his floppy haircut. No, no, no. It's definitely the tie. Oh, my God. And they require that children are taught sexual education at an extremely young age,

and they want to teach them a perverted sexual education where they teach them all about the LGBTQ, which stands for let God burn them quickly. What? That's not what that stands for at all. Also, it's dumb. You're just like, wouldn't you want to burn them slowly? That's stupid. That's stupid.

You're a stupid person. Yeah, it's just a hate joke. And the thing is like hate jokes are like never funny yeah and it's just like so boring when was the last time and i'm not even really kidding when was the last time you saw a right-wing comedian and thought okay not my taste but fucking funny tom i saw this guy who i guess was he used to do a bunch of stuff. I don't know him. So I can't tell you what his name is, but he was doing this whole bit where he was pretending to be like a parrot. And he was, and he was walking across. I know what you're talking about. Like COVID-19.

And he's like walking across. He's like, gotta wear a mask! I remember this. It was the least funny thing I've ever seen in my life. I was watching it with my mouth open. And the audience could not stop fucking laughing. And I was like, what is funny about this? They're not even jokes. It's not even funny. Like, you force yourself to laugh

when your three-year-old does that. Like, you force to laugh when your three-year-old does that. You force yourself to encourage your three-year-old. But when that guy's on the stage, I'm just like, that is not funny. That's not, like, how in the sweet fuck did you think, did you write that down after you got out of the shower? Right. And think, this is going to kill. This is my tight spot.

This is going to kill. Right. shower and think this is going to kill. This is my type. This is going to kill. Right. And it's just him. No shit. Walking across a fucking stage. I know exactly the things out loud. And I was just like, this is not, I can't imagine. But yeah, you're right. There's not, I don't think there are good. I don't think you can be, I don't think you can. I've never seen it because the reason why funny stuff happens in this space, I'm not saying we're funny, but I'm saying like people can be funny with the same ideology.

Yeah, if you were funny and you had the same ideology as us. But, you know, the reason why is because I think pushing that line is funnier than stepping over it. It's way funnier than stepping over. Just pushing that line is, there's a tension. Right. But if you just pushing that line is there's a tension right but if you just step over it there's no tension it's not funny that's exactly what i mean it's not funny it's like okay yeah that's gross yeah no that's gross but if you touch it and you kind of it's like they're they're like the people who like foreplay what do you mean do you mean? Do you know what it is, Cecil? It's the kind of- Totally two of us.

It's the kind of funny that you grew out of in fifth grade. Yeah, no, absolutely, sure. When you're in fifth grade, there's a part of most people that go through some kind of young, early adolescent period where you really kind of get a kick on breaking rules for the sake of breaking them. Sure, sure. It feels rebellious to just have broken a rule or defied a convention. And you're just like, I just enjoy the thrill of defying a convention with no real regard for

whether or not it mattered to you, whether it's a principle you hold. It's just, there's a boundary pushing rebelliousness as part of youth. And most people grow out of that shit. Right. And then the best way to grow out of that is to say, look, I am not going to have a overreactive, overblown sense of responsibility to tradition. If they're good, great. If they're bad, fine.

Same thing with rules of convention. If they're good rules, I'll take them. If they're bad rules, I don't need to observe them. But you sort of stop getting hard at the idea of just breaking a rule for the sake of breaking a rule and sort of thumbing your nose at the man, right? Everyone's kind of over that, except for the people that aren't. And the people that aren't

are like, LGBTQ, doesn't that mean this hate shit? And you're just like, that's not, you just want to like break a rule in front of me and be like, come on everybody, come on, everybody. Come on. Mrs. Wilkins is not laughing. Laugh with me. It's fucking fifth grade or shit. It is fifth grade shit. And you know, the other thing I think, you know, it just occurred to me

too, that another thing that comedy needs is a turn. So they've got to expect that you're a good person if you're going to turn to that bad thing and say that thing out loud that's bad, right? But if you're always just a bad person, there's no, there's nothing funny. So you're like, okay, that's not funny. There's a lot of great bits in Seinfeld because you expect them to be good people and they're really genuinely terrible people. But you expect them to be good because for a lot of them, they're good. And then they just turn and they say something and you're just like, holy shit. And that's the turn, right? that's the funny thing but there's i don't think you can have that in the in the conservative comedy because there's nothing

there's no turn like what's the turn there's nothing you're always bad and you're always projecting these bad values right yeah all right let's watch more of this very long tie i want to teach them all about that. And maybe, Johnny, maybe you just want to be Sally. Maybe we want to put a dress on you. Maybe we want to put lipstick on you. And Sally, we want to give you a butch haircut. We want to see if we can get you to have an

Adam's apple. And maybe you just really want to be a boy. Maybe you're a boy stuck in a girl's body. So we need to perform surgery on you. And we want to give you these chemicals that are going to make you feel good. We're going to give you testosterone so you stuck in a girl's body. So we need to perform surgery on you. And we want to give you these chemicals that are going to make you feel good. We're going to give you testosterone so you can have a mustache and you can be an abomination. And they want to target these children and destroy them. Okay. What they want to do is create a deep seated hatred for God in

their hearts. Why would teachers want that? Let me tell you what teachers want. Because I went to school to be a teacher. They want to wake up, go to work, teach kids, and go the fuck home. It's just a job. That's what they want. They want Christmas break. They want summer break.

They want spring break. They want to teach kids the subject matter they're interested in. They don't want to indoctrinate matter they're interested in. They don't want to indoctrinate your kid into, they got another group of, here's a fucking newsflash. They forget about your kid, right? Because next year they don't have your kid again. They got a whole new group of kids. No, they're not that fucking long-term invested, right? They can't be. It's just true. Maybe you'll remember this one or that one. Maybe you've

got a great memory and you remember most of the kids, but you have them for nine fucking months and that's it. And then you got a new crop of fucking kids and you fucking help them learn to read or teach them a fucking math or like do a science or whatever with them. And then they move on. Teachers just want to wake up and go to work. They are not like deeply invested in indoctrinating kids into some fucking ideology. That's insane. They're just going to work, man. That's it. It's like

saying, it'd be as crazy as being like, oh, you know who really wants to really change your mind is the mailman. When the mailman comes along with his pamphlets and leaflets, oh, is he dropping off the New Yorker at your house is he trying to swing he's just a fucking mailman it's it's yeah man it's just a person with a job

i will say you know like i know for sure there's teachers who listen i'm sure and they're gonna they're gonna they might disagree with you know how passionate they are about i'm sure they're passionate they're very passionate about their job but i i do think i understand too where you're coming from where you're saying like look know, they do have a lot of people that they care for and the idea that they're going to try to change who your kid is, that requires a level of understanding

of that child that is so deep, right? To understand even who they are, like in more than just like a surface level. I'm sure that they do get, build some relationships with children. They do and I'm not trying to say they're not. It's not going to be like to the level where someone would think enough to be like,

I got to change who you are. It's just a stupid thing to think. Like it's a dumb thing to think. And I think too, one of the things that they want to, they want to try to like, it's when they tell on themselves all the time, they tell on themselves.

And this is a perfect example because they indoctrinate children into church all the fucking time. They teach them at a very young age to fear God. They teach them at a very young age to, you know, to, to follow these rules that they've given them, that their parents give them. They teach them and they send them to Sunday school to learn these rules. They do this all the time. But then when they see their kids in another place, whether or not any of that's happening, they immediately expect that it's happening so that they want to

attack it right away. Yeah. And like, it's so funny because which would work better? The church that you go to for years and years and years and years and years and years and years, or, oh, that one teacher who's got you for nine months. Yeah, I know you're right. That's what I mean is it doesn't make sense. You don't have the time. You don't have the time. If a teacher wanted to indoctrinate their students into some kind of agenda and like change who they are fundamentally

at the gender level, how the fuck are they going to do that in a 50 minute block teaching social studies? Even if you have the, even if you're like super young kids and you have the same cohort of kids all day, start in the morning to it, you still only get nine months out of it.

And you have to spend some of that time not indoctrinating them. Church gets to do it for years unending and it's all they have to do. There's no distraction. There's no like, oh shit, they get to spend the full hour of church indoctrinating you.

They're not trying to like teach you social studies and then maybe wiggle away and try to convince you to wear a dress. It doesn't even make sense. Also, a lot of the things that they have to say and that they conflate with this sort of thing, all are lies, right? So they like, like, like also I know that people will say, yeah, on their lying. Yeah. They're also lying too. And I want to say that out loud. They're very much lying about all the things, you know, these are, these are people who think that they, that, that for some reason people are getting gender affirming surgery before they're as children. Yeah. As children. And you're like, that's, that's insane. No one's doing that. That is a, That is a very common right-wing argument that is just not happening.

It's the same thing with the cat boxes. They make things up because they think it's gross and it'll scare someone. So like, oh, there's a cat box in school. And you're like, oh, I gotta make something up about this. And so they do. They make up lies that this guy stands up and repeats to all these people.

Whether or not he believes it or not is irrelevant. He's still repeating it. There are, like I read a whole, like I listened to a podcast. I think it was, I think it was if books could kill or maybe maintenance phase. I can't remember one of the two. And they were talking about just that. And there is a tiny de minimis amount of top surgeries done for adolescents, but there is no bottom surgery ever that is being done on people under the age of 18.

But the right, the church wants to play it out like there's this whole infrastructure that is trying to like do bottom surgery on children. It's not just not true. Yeah. Abortions for all. Very well. No abortions for all. Very well. No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some.

Miniature American flags for others. So this story comes from Vice. Abortion clinics are dealing with more arson, stalking, and anthrax threats now, Cecil. You know, one of the things that really is kind of gross about this whole thing is when I read the story, they're talking about all the places where now, if you go to a state where the abortion is allowed, there's just so much more protesters. And it occurred to me that like, the protesters were all over the country before in those other places. And they were protesting and they were more diluted.

Like you just said, they're more diluted, right? All across the country. Yeah, it's true. And now they can concentrate on these blue places where we still have this right and they can come and be awful and they can be genuinely awful. And like they say, they're mostly dudes that show up to scream at people. And then, and now the other thing that I noticed too, when I was thinking about it is the more the government cracks down on this and the more the rhetoric lifts about this,

it goes into like a more invective, you know, the more it encourages people to do bad things to these people. Absolutely. Because the demonizing language is harmful. It's a harmful thing that changes people's minds about I didn't like that to I hate that person. Yeah, no, absolutely. And I also

think that the victories won by the right on this issue are galvanizing these people into being like, we can look, now we can concentrate on North Carolina. Oh, that worked. And now we can concentrate on, and they're not wrong to some degree. They're not wrong because they are racking up victories in some way they rack up huge losses in other places yeah but what's what's happening is that we're becoming a a nation of more than one nation you know like it matters now in ways that are more fundamental than they have been since probably the civil war where you live in terms of your rights. I don't think we've had this same kind of geographical distinction around your fundamental human rights based on states since the emancipation.

Yeah. And they're talking about, it's not just protesters. These people are doing like their arson, there's death threats, there's stalking. There's, I mean, this is a terrible thing and it's and it's ramping up it's just starting i mean like gosh this happened last summer yeah man the the decision we're about a year away from i think that decision being leaked right right around now maybe about a year i think so and that's all and look at how look at how much america's changed in a single year and look how much more violent america

is now than it was six seven eight years ago like and i'm talking about like street violent vigilante violence protest like this is like you see that right is galvanized to fight someone's gonna get killed you see that you see the the white supremacist marching in uh washington yeah i heard about that with all their they covered up all their, they covered up all their faces. Yeah. Covered up all their faces. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I read about that. Yeah, a bunch of them. I mean, like a bunch of them. Fucking disgusting. Yeah. All right. So that's going to wrap it up for this week.

We'll be back this upcoming week. So this Thursday, we're going to be releasing a patron-only AMA. And then the following week, we'll be back on Monday, and then we'll be releasing a wide release funny show. So a couple of Thursday releases, two if you're a patron, one if you're not. You can always go become a patron at patreon.com slash dissonancepod or dissonancepod.com. We love all our patrons. We hope that you choose to join us. All right.

So that's going to wrap it up for this week. We are going to leave you like we always do, though, with the skeptics creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward

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