Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 692: Tuck / Nip

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Show Notes    

Hey, we've got a secret. This podcast is supported by Apples Never Fall, a chilling new mystery series from the author of Big Little Lies, starring Annette Bening, Sam Neill, Jake Lacey, and Alison Brie. It's sure to get people talking. What dark secrets lurk in this family? Tune in on March 21st to find out. Apples Never Fall, exclusively on W Network and Stack TV. Two freshly cracked eggs any way

you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only six dollars at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chic and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is Wednesday, May 23rd, 2023. I almost said 2013, but it's not the past. It's worse. Oh, 2013. It's worse. Let's go back to 2013. Before we thought the world could suck so bad. You remember that feeling of joyful hopefulness that you had back before we took our hard 2016 pivot 2016 was really

just genuinely the worst of everything and then it's turned and it's been bad ever since it's just been i remember in 2016 it's like ah the years of dumpster fire laugh laugh laugh joke joke joke and then it was like why is it a series of dumpster fires it just keeps getting worse like it's just yeah it's over and over and over again. There we go. Well, but you know, you know, what might save us all is Ron DeSantis.

Ron DeSantis officially threw his hat into the ring today. Did he? Filed the paperwork. Did he? He did. How does that $1 billion

pullout of Disney look on his record? Where it's like, I'm for business. And then he's just like, like how can you run as a dude, especially in the Republican Party nowadays? It's so weird.

It feels like things flip so often, right? For instance, back in the day, the Democrats were the party that fought against the Civil Rights Act. Sure. They were, you know, the party of the KKK. You know, you look back in the day. Did the Democrats fight against the Civil Rights Act in the 60s? I think so.

I think there was some Southern Democrats that fought against it. Oh, wow. I think so. I don't know. I don't know that history. Yeah. I mean. I know that like the Republicans used, I know that there was that flip, like there was a

big flip, but I didn't know it extended that far into our recent history. I think it might even came into the recent history. That's fucking nuts. But here's the thing. After a while, things flip, right? Yeah. There was a long time where the Republicans were 100% pro-business. Yeah.

Like pro-business. I mean, think about Citizens United, how big that was for them. Yeah, man. You know? And now it's weird. It feels like they're not as pro-business anymore. There's a lot more boycotts on their side now. A lot of boycotts. A lot more than I think for guys like you and I, we grew up with an, at least I did. I don't want to speak for you.

I grew up with this idea of a Republican party that was in retrospect on examination. My, That was, in retrospect, on examination, my thinking about the Republican Party was really a post-Reagan Bush-era neoconversion, a Tea Party version of what the Republican Party was and what they stood for. And it was centered primarily around financial issues, right? So they had their social issues that they used as wedges in order to like create the moral majority and radicalize their fundamentalist base for sure. That's all got a longer story history, but they really kind of, that was a vehicle for them to accomplish their financial goals, right?

And I really thought that that was, and they seem to have an undergirding philosophy. And I think like what's happened now over the last eight or 10 years is the Republican Party is really a party of social issues. They don't seem to have that same, because they're not super pro-business. They're not even, I think, trying to be anymore

super pro-business. They're not even, they think, trying to be anymore super pro-business. They're not even, they're not super small government. All those things that we thought of as republicanism. Yeah. That's not how they brand themselves. Yeah, it's because, well, and I think maybe it might be a smarter way for them to go to be more tribalist because if they do

that, they get that tribalist vote. Yeah. Which is important for them because that's really their base. That's really, that has been the shift, especially since Trump is that's their base. And so the big business stuff, that was all the tribalist stuff was there to get those people to vote so they could give breaks to big business. I just don't understand why they're like, at this point, not like, well, fucking tax them then. I don't care. Yeah. I think that they're in a, I think, but'll fucking tax them then i don't care yeah i i think that

they're in a i think but no it's a good question because and i've thought about this i think that they're in the middle of a sort of like ideological midlife crisis i really do i think that there's a a real lack of any cohesion within that party as to what they stand for and i think primarily what they stand for right now is winning and owning the libs. And I'm serious. Yeah. Winning and doing things that they think is going to make people mad. I mean, we talked about a couple of weeks ago on the show, but you know, one of the things that came out recently was they did a poll and in that poll was a several, several questions that they asked. And one of the main questions, one of the biggest things that they,

the reasons why they wanted a person to win the nomination was because he made the liberals mad. Yeah. He made the other side mad. That's a big deal to a lot of people who are going to vote in the next election. And like, there's that schism that's taking place in the Republican Party between what we could think of as establishment Republicans, the Mitch McConnell's

guys. Right. And then this sort of like new guard of the Republican party. Sure. If you think, if you, if you really try to say like, what does, and Marjorie Taylor green, as much as we don't like to talk about her, she is the face of it. She's a perfect example. And I think, I think she's representative of that new guard. And she doesn't stand for anything. Like, this is not a person that has... Mitch McConnell had a vision for America. It's an evil fucking reptilian dark side vision of America.

And he was a win at all costs in order to enact his vision. And I think the new guard is a win at all costs in order to win at all costs. I don't think that, if you were to tell me that Marjorie Taylor Greene has a plan for the country, I would laugh at you. Because I would say,

I don't even know that she has a plan for dinner. Right, for real. Yeah, like for real. Yeah, I don't think she has a plan to get home after Congress. Yeah, they have no idea of where they want to lead us. They're, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert,

Matt Gaetz, all those, they're not writing legislation. No. They show up and they grandstand, they vote, they obstruct.

Yeah. But they don't write legislation. They're not engaged in the act of legislating at all. Yeah, no. And they're exposing themselves. Every day that they get,

I'm happy that they're getting more, a little more time on some of these committees because we're going to talk about Boebert later on. Oh my God. And you're just like, you can't put your foot

in your mouth fast enough to shut yourself up. You genuinely can't. Yeah, because you're old and I'm young and I'm going to live to piss on your fucking grave. So first we got to shit

on the Democrats. A little bit. Because they fucking, at least one of them here. This story comes from Newsweek. We talked about this a little bit a few weeks ago. Dianne Feinstein resign calls, grow louder from Democrats. We need change. Dianne Feinstein is a spectacularly old lady.

She's an 89-year-old lady. 89, man. That's an old person. That's an old lady. She's an 89-year-old lady. 89, man. That's an old person. That's an old lady. I'm not being shitty, but she is 13 years past the best if used by date, right? Well, you know, she is. 76 is the average age we die.

And I want to say, too, like, there is, we put things in place for people who are elderly, like very elderly. So like they have to go get their license and they have to like do tests and things because we know that some of your faculties, as you get older, they start to go. That's just the truth. A lot of people don't want to face it. Right.

And especially as you get closer to it, it stings more when somebody says somebody close to your age is old, right? It stings more. But it's not that it doesn't make it true. It just means that you haven't gotten to the point yet that you've recognized that you are also there, you know? And so, yeah, when people say, you know, man, she's old, she is old.

This is an old person. Like, I don't, and it's not that I don't think she could be somebody who could possibly legislate and do these sorts of things. She hasn't been there to do it. She's been in the hospital with shingles. And then when she comes back, she's had like some sort of seizure where her face is now slack on one side. She has swelling. She looks. She had a brain infection, dude.

The shingles gave her a brain infection, encephalitis. Like that's a serious fucking brain infection. When she was interviewed by reporters and they were basically like, hey, how's it feel to be back? She's like, I never left. And like, oh, do you mean you were working from home?

And she's like, no, I've been here the whole time voting. And you're like, I don't know if she really knows which end is up. That to me feels like where we just walk in, you know, like there needs to be bigger, better safeguards in place. And I think at the end of the article, don't they mention, I want to say at the end of the article, somebody says they need to create some sort of changes. These include term limits for judicial and legislative branches, committee chairs and party leaders, as well as background checks for incoming officials. And you're like, first of all, all that stuff should have already existed. It's not like we should be trying to

fucking make this almost 250 years after the founding of our country. Yeah, man. And I also think, I was thinking about this today, I think for every person in Congress, because this is true of old people as a demographic truth,

but it's also just true that shit happens to all of us, right? There should be yearly competency checks, right? Everybody at the beginning of the year, at the first quarter, whatever, everybody that is going to serve in high public office at a certain level, we should have knowledge of their competency.

We, the people who voted for this person, should have knowledge of their competency and their continued competency. And that seems like not a big ask. Ask it of a 25-year-old. Ask it of a 75-year-old. That's not ageist to demand that the people that we hire be competent. All of them.

And you're right because it's not ageist if it's all. Because, look, you could get in a car accident and have a traumatic brain injury, right? You could have, you could take medicines that make it difficult for you to think and do your job. You could have personal life experiences that fucking scatter your ability to think clearly. There are a lot of things that are all over. You could have brain.

Look, I had fucking meningitis, right? Like meningitis is an infection that can damage and hurt your brain too. Like if somebody had given me a competency test while I was, I would have failed that test, right? Like meningitis is an infection like that can damage and hurt your brain too. Like if somebody had given me a competency test while I was, I would have failed that test. Yeah. Right. There are lots of, there are illnesses. There's lots of things that can happen in our lives at any age that can render us non-competent. And I think that if you've got a job that's this important, why aren't we checking to make sure that people stay, especially if we're going to have a fucking gerontocracy? Yeah, man.

And that's what we've got. We have a group of leadership that is increasingly aged. Yes. So, fine. If that's who we're going to stand at the ballot box and vote for, we're going to vote for them assuming and hoping that they remain competent. So why don't we just checking on that? Like, yeah, like you said, if you want to keep driving, you got to get your

driver's license renewed. I also want to say too, like, try to do, try to come in and not be with all your faculties at like a dangerous factory or something. Yeah, man. They would send you home. They wouldn't look at you and be like, oh, it's okay. You can work from home today or whatever, or you can get better.

Most of the time, none of these places have anything like that is a safety net whatsoever. So they just let you go anyway. Right. So you're like, man, I'm really sick. I have encephalitis. They're like, that sounds like it's bad for you anyway. So long. And then they fire you.

Hope you purchase disability insurance because it's not on us. Yeah. I mean, like, like no other person in the United States gets this kind of treatment, right? That's fucking true. Yeah. It's like, you expect this from every other person, every other citizen in the United States has to deal with some shitty workplace. But instead, what we get, what we do for them is everything is forgiven. And you're like, man, no, you work for us. So you know what? I'm willing to give you some sick time off. I'm happy to do that, right?

Same, man. I'm willing to give you some sick time off. I'm willing to give you a leave even. If you say, you know what? I got to leave. I got a thing, but I'm going to come back and I'll be just fine. But at a certain point, if you can't do the job that we hired you for, and here's the important part.

And it's not that I'm just picking on her because she's sick or whatever. I'm picking on her because there are important appointments that she needs to be there for. We have the very slimmest majority in the Senate. Without her there, this doesn't get voted on. While Mitch McConnell had both,

had the House and the presidency, or he had the Senate and the presidency, that dude ran through so many judicial appointments under Trump that literally at the end of that, they were going through like there was a revolving door. Those things need to be filled because he stalled it under Obama. Yes, he did. So it needs to be filled. That has to be fixed. And if she's not there to do it, then we're missing out. And guess what happens if the Senate flips? Then nothing happens again for two straight years. And we've seen the incredible power that federal judges can wield in shaping American policy. We think all the time in these sort of Supreme Court level terms.

But we have seen very recently the intense power that federal judges can wield. These are important jobs. The thing is that the process of governance can't wait.

So if this is a job that you think like, wow, man, what if I get sick and need to take two months off and you're not going to give me two months off? It's like, yeah,

then don't be a fucking senator. Don't apply for the job. I don't have any sympathy. Don't apply for the fucking job. Look, it's a fucking six-year term and I expect you to show up every single day. Every day. And if you can't show up every day,

you should have an appointed second. We should be, I 100% feel like you should be generous to workers because people get sick and shit happens and whatever. Yeah. But at a certain point, these people are above that.

That's what I mean. You know what I mean? Like you're above that stuff. This isn't like somebody working at the Tyson plant. Yeah. You know what I mean? This is a,

the thing is that the governance should be a short-term job. Yeah. The idea that we have these like forever long- It's a lifetime appointment. It's like a lifetime appointment. Cause they fuck that. They won 60 fucking elections in a row or whatever. I'm 120 years old. I know, man.

Like I'm, I'm not down. I'm not down with any of that shit. Like, I'm sorry. You rose, you raised your hand and you said, I want to take this job. We should, we've talked about this. This should not be a great job to have. Yeah. The thing is that people like, I read this article, like, why don't people like Diane Feinstein want to retire? It's because they get a, they get a ton of personal perks and a lot of those perks are hubristic, right? They get to feel fucking good about being a powerful fucking person that people listen to. Someone like someone in the Senate can pick up the phone and have their voice heard. They can get someone to interview them. They're at the top of the fucking heap.

There's a lot of perks that are based on our pride that these jobs create. Yeah. Because there's no other reason why an 89-year-old lady who's had a severe health issue and was unable to do her job. She doesn't want to give up her she knows parking spot man she knows how important it is if she really was a civil servant she would step away but you're not a civil servant when you put yourself first yeah no that's very true and and it's and it's all it's like i want to get on the plane first or whatever yeah like fuck you fuck out of here fuck you who cares discovered appropriating classified documents at a foreign consulate reception. You should A, express concern.

B, act surprised. C, deny everything. And D, all three. The answer is D, all three. So this story comes from Vanity Fair. Report, the National Archives is set to hand over damning evidence in Trump's classified documents case. Yeah, Tom, you know, this is bad. In some ways, there was some rumblings about what's involved.

But one of the things that they're saying is that he was warned ahead of time on how he needs to go about handling these documents, handling all these documents, and he blatantly ignored it. To be fair to Trump, though, he was able to now correct me if I'm wrong. He was able to declassify these documents with the power of his mind. Did it go? Is that not right? When he did it, did it go? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. documents with the power of his mind. Did it go? Is that not right? When he did it, did it go? No, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no. When he said, I'm going to classify everything in the world. Oh, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, the thing that I love, and I was thinking about this earlier today, too, is the thing I love about him saying like, well, I was able to declassify shit just by thinking about it. I thought there's no weaker tool in your mind to do this

work. If that's the case, like, a golden retriever could do it. Right? Like, seriously. I'm telling you right now. Like an obese penguinver could do it. Right? Like seriously. I'm telling you right now. Like an obese penguin. I'm telling you right now. If you did the treats under one of these buckets

with him and a golden retriever. Golden retriever. Golden retriever 10 out of 10 times. Him, three out of 10. Because the whole time he's trying to tell you person, woman, man, camera, TV. Yeah, right? He's like, no, I got a different.

I studied for a different test. I crapped for another exam. I'm doing something else. I studied for the ACT. I'm getting the SAT. SAT, what the fuck? An essay portion? What do you mean there's an essay?

Could you imagine reading his essay portion, Tom? I would give. Oh, my God. How much would you give? Holy shit, the bed. Any money. I would fucking, I would give up everything I own and pledge everything I will ever make

to read his essay portion of a standardized test. Yes. I would give everything in the world. Everything in the world. Nothing in the world would make me happier

than to read his fucking like, fucking like blue book exam on Huck Finn. Oh my God, Tom. Like what? I don't know about Huck Finn because there's a lot of Edward in there. Okay, that was the wrong one.

That was the wrong one, actually. You're right. That's the wrong one. Yikes. Okay, Great Gatsby. Great Gatsby. Great Gatsby. Great Gatsby.

Still probably the only one in there. I don't know if it's in there or not. I don't think so. God, that would just be fucking amazing. Yeah. That would be amazing. Because he's a fucking dullard. He's a goddamn dullard.

What I love from this article, one other thing I want to mention in this article, is they said, like, that investigators pretty much interviewed everybody at Mar-a-Lago. And now they're coming. Yeah. So he could legitimately be involved in three criminal

indictments, defending himself in three simultaneous criminal indictments, all while trying to run as the fucking loser, double impeached ex-fucking president. What a fucking crazy world 24 is going to turn into. I will say though, you know, like if he doesn't go to jail for some of this stuff that he's done, it doesn't feel like justice, right? Yeah.

You know, because like, like everybody heard that phone call. Everybody heard that phone call. That phone call was straight up illegal. That phone call is 100% illegal. Calling down to the people who tabulate and count the votes to tell them he needs a number of votes

to flip so that he wins. Yeah, I need you to find 11,716 votes or whatever it was. Like, that's straight up. But I mean, Cecil, honestly, the shit that he pulled with Ukraine. Yeah. When he was talking to Zelensky

and he was like- That's the same thing. He was like, yeah, well, you know, that aid. It's the same thing. If you, you know, got to find fucking dirt on my political opponent. It's an awfully nice country you got there. Holy shit.

He's ashamed something happened to it. Holy shit. He's shaming something happened to it. Holy shit. It does also, like, this is a guy, you can tell, who this is how he has always gotten what he's wanted, right? That's because he wasn't in government. I know. But it does make you wonder how many times and how shady his business dealings were.

Oh, God, yeah. They had to be bonanza bonkers. I want to say this, though, and I think, I don't think I'm wrong when I say, no matter what, if you make that much money,

you're shady. No matter what, if you make that much money, there's no, I don't feel like there's a legitimate way to make that kind of money. And not do shit. And not do shady shit.

You know what I mean? And not be shady. I don't disagree. Yeah. I feel like, you know, when you make that kind of money and not do shady shit. You know what I mean? I don't disagree. I feel like, you know, when you make that kind of money, you're breaking some sort of, you're not, you're not working nine to five. You're doing something. There's gotta be something you're taking advantage of in order to do that. I think, I think you are at the very, first of all, we talked about it before, like just having that amount of money is unethical, Yeah. But to get to having made that, unless you lucked into most of it generationally. Sure, yeah.

Then yeah, 100%. You're breaking some kind of ethical rules. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Racism, anti-Semitism, and the guys are Holocaust denier. So there's a couple of stories and they all sort of interrelate here. I want to talk about this one first from The Hill.

NAACP issues travel warning in Florida. The state has become hostile to Black Americans. Do you want to read it, Tom, just so we can read? I think it's here. So this is the travel advisory. On a seeming quest to silence African-American voices, the governor and the state of Florida have shown that African-Americans are not welcome in the state of Florida. Due to the sustained, blatant, relentless, and systemic attack on democracy and civil rights, the NAACP hereby issues a travel advisory to African Americans and other people of color regarding the hostility towards African Americans in Florida. And that advisory, it was referring to new

legislation prohibiting public spending on DEI programs, diversity, equity, and inclusion programs. It also refers to the Stop Woke Act that restricts how workplaces and schools are to discuss race during required training and instruction. It also talks about when he blocked, DeSantis blocked, advanced placement African-American studies courses in states' public schools because he said that those courses lacked educational value. This is not, like, this isn't one thing, like you just said. It's not one thing. It's multiple things. But it's also, when they start talking about not educating people about things that we don't like to talk about, right? Because that's what this is about. This is about not educating a group. It's about not allowing any kind of notice of diversity,

equity, and inclusion, right? Not allowing that to exist basically is saying, we don't talk about that here. We don't talk about any of that here. There's no inequality at all in this country. And we don't talk about it because, because we don't want to bring up these things in the past that happened. You know, it's not like, it's not like when there's a DEI place that exists on like a campus or a workplace or something,

it's not like, like you or I, or whoever else, some other white guy, Freaky Friday, like wakes up as a black person. You know what I mean? Like, it's not like that happens, right? We're just like, whoa, what is that? Like, like what they seem to think happens is something I can't even put my head around what they think happens. Because one, nothing is granted because these things exist. Right. There's nothing that just because it exists

that suddenly things turn on their head. The entire society turns on their head. No. What happens is they exist. Yep. The end. Sometimes people pay attention to it. The end.

That's literally it. That's the extent of these things existing in his state. Woke, the woke thing, right? The stop woke act. Basically, this is private, mostly private businesses that want to do something, and he's not even letting them do that. And it wouldn't even affect him if they did. Yeah. Yeah. But, but what, what occurs to me is that Republicans in this process, we talked in the beginning of the show, like, what do they stand for? Well, I think like what

we're finding out is their true colors are white. Yeah. Right. Right. Like the Republicans are showing their true colors and they're just white. Yeah. And when they talk about free speech, what they mean is white speech. Yeah. That's all that they mean. All when they talk about free speech, what they mean is white speech. That's all that they mean. All of this conversation about free speech from the Republicans is a sort of back-ended way of saying, well, I really want to protect white speech. Because they are the most ardent defenders of free speech, except for. And the except for is always people of color. Look at Twitter. Look at how Twitter has become this cesspool of fucking white supremacy. Right. And look at how quickly people jump up to defend that stuff on Twitter. Yeah. Yeah, man. That's a perfect example. It's

exactly the same thing. All the free speech absolutists are not free speech absolutists. And the thing that they don't understand too, by the way, is that even if we were to be genuinely free speech absolutists, which is a terrible position and nobody should hold that position, it makes you an asshole and you're wrong. But like, even if you were a free speech absolutist, it is, that is a necessarily racist position to take because my white speech has more power and more systems of power that enable that speech. Right. So if it's like, oh, well, you can say whatever you want and you can say whatever you want. And that's how free speech absolutism works. It's like, wait a minute now, because I, as a cishet upper middle-class white guy. When I talk, I have a fucking, I have generational systems

of privilege and power that amplify that voice. So it's inherently a racist thing to be, right? Because it assumes a level playing ground from the start that literally never existed.

So like all of this shit, the NAACP is fucking right. They're absolutely right. Florida is hostile to people of color. And it's not just Florida. It's not just Florida. It's places all across the country,

but they're pointing out Florida. But, you know, I want to say, like, what you just said, you can test this. You know how you test it is you say something to a cop. Yeah, man. Say something disrespectful to a cop. You, Tom, say something disrespectful to a cop.

And then we go find a black guy to do it. Yeah. See what happens. See the difference in the reactions, right? Yeah, you're right. Look what happens when those guys get, I mean, these guys have guns. Yeah.

And then they get taken in alive. Uh-huh. All the time. Taken in alive. Oh, they caught him. And he's just in cuffs. And they kind of escort him to the car. And then then like,

you're just a guy, like for instance, George Floyd, you're a guy who gets accused of having a counterfeit bill and you get suffocated to death. Yeah, man. So, you know,

there's a huge difference in this guy. Just, we can point it, we can point to it. Yeah, you're not wrong at all. You're not wrong at all. And it's not, it doesn't stop there

because now they're canceling pride events down there. Yeah. This story is from Click Orlando, St. Cloud pride event canceled due to so-called climate of fear. And I was, what I was, what I was thinking is that what, what Florida and what DeSantis is doing and very intentionally is, is he is using the power of his governorship and the power of the white Republican establishment that has all of the political power down there to create an experiment with creating a specific state sponsored white culture. Again, a Southern state sponsored white culture. Again, this feels fucking familiar, man.

This feels, and the thing is, and the Pride Parade really also brings it a focus. It's not just people of color that are being abused by this power, right? It's all marginalized groups.

Yeah. Seriously, it's all fucking marginalized groups. It's women with abortion. It's trans people with the new laws that they're doing. It's any LGBT people. I guess trans is included in that, but you know what I mean?

And then you also throw in people of color. You know, you're- This is just white dudes, man. You're absolutely right. It's every single person but white dudes. Yeah. Every single person. That's it.

And yeah, I mean, it's a horror. And more and more, it's getting worse for women down there. But then, uh, and then finally in a mocking way. Yeah. Right. So here's the thing. Rick Scott issues a travel advisory for socialists warning Florida is openly hostile to them. So this is a mockery of the NAACP travel advisor. Right. So it's even worse. Not only is he saying like, we're openly hostile to them. So this is a mockery of the NAACP travel advisers. Right. So it's even worse. Not only is he saying, like, we're openly hostile to socialists, right? It's like there's no socialists. Like,

there's no socialists in our country in that sense. Like, socialism is fucking where the people have the means of production. That doesn't happen. There are people who would identify themselves as socialists, but socialists as a political force don't have any meaningful power. Right, but socialists as a political force don't have any meaningful power.

Right, yeah. It's a dumb thing to even say. It's a dumb ass thing to say. But he's saying it in a way to say, to mock, he's using it as a tool to mock the NAACP, which is grotesque. It is.

And there used to be a time, I think, that I feel somewhat nostalgic for. So like, this country was shit. And then for like a hot minute, Cecil, it started to feel like, at least in terms of like the lexicon of politics, it started to feel like it was moving in the right direction for a hot minute. And now, of when the NAACP issues a warning that, hey, the state is openly hostile to black people, instead of, instead of like politicians saying like, hey, we don't want to be affiliated with that. Now they don't, they don't take that

on the merits. They don't use that as an opportunity to distance themselves from the policies that, you know, would instead of what they do is they just mock it, double down, troll it, double, double down. They take, they take hold of it and they run with it because we're now in a place where all of it's right out on the surface, right? What Trump did. And then I think like in a lot of ways, the pandemic also helped to sort of, um, kind of bring it all to the surface is, is he gave everybody the space in the breathing room to be open and unashamed and comfortable with a level of bigotry and power and connecting bigotry and power together. You know, find people on both sides. Yeah, man. Out loud and fucking everything, man. When I hear shit like this and I think about this politician, I think he's a senator, and I'm like,

okay, he's a senator. Could I imagine, in this position, someone like George Bush doing this? No. Or someone like Dick Cheney doing this? Yeah, again, same. I can't. And those people are monsters.

They're horrible. I will never say a good thing about any of them. Right, yeah. I think they're terrible people. I think they're genuinely bad people, and we should never let them have a scrap of power for as long as they live. They are war criminals. Yeah.

I genuinely believe George W. Bush and Dick Cheney were criminals. I don't disagree. I just want it so that my position is as clear as yours. But I don't see them doing this. Right. It's like, you've suddenly sunk to a level

that I'm like, how, where, what, and why is this fucking happening? I look back to like the Reagan years when like, you know, George Bush Sr. Yeah. Would he do something?

No, I don't think he would do something like this. He wouldn't double down. He would say, he would get up there and be like, I don't agree with that. I think it's bad or whatever. You know, like-

Thousand points of light, man. He would say, no, that's terrible. You know, you shouldn't do that shit. Whatever. I think so many of those people, the one person who I look back and I think he was in power and he would embrace this is Newt Gingrich.

And the reason why I say that is because he's the fucking architect of the wedge issue. Yeah, man. And so when he hears shit like this, I think he automatically thinks, yes, this is a wedge issue, and this is what I should put my foot on the gas behind. Yeah, I don't think that's a wrong read at all.

I think there's like a weirdness to feeling nostalgic for the neocons because I hate them. I hate them all. And even they, like we are worse at this point on the right than the fucking 1990s neocons. And they were the worst. Like I remember, I remember like when George W. Bush got elected, I remember being like, this is as low as we get. We've elected a fucking dunce, a dunce run by these fucking evil puppeteers. And the thing is like, none of that was a wrong read, but I just didn't think it would get worse.

You're like, there's no way this is getting worse. How does it get worse? This can't get worse from here. And I think even if you look back when we were coming out of the Bush, second Bush presidency, and we bounced into Obama, I think everybody's thought, okay, from this point on, it's going to be smooth sailing. Yeah. And it wasn't, it wasn't through Obama and it wasn't through anything else after that.

But do you know what, what helped make it seem like it would be smooth sailing is the people that opposed Obama were at the very least serious people, right? McCain was a, and I disagreed with him and Romney. They were serious people. They were, they were genuine, serious. I disagreed with them on all substantive issues, but they had issues of substance that defined who they were. And they were actually in some ways, men with some integrity and character. Now, again, I didn't agree with any of their policies.

I'm glad they both failed. But like looking back, it's like, holy shit, were they better. They were better. So we had this moment where like, okay, serious people are trying to be in charge and we really get to look at what they, I remember Cecil, you and I,

when we first got into podcast, this isn't even the Cogdiss days. This was like everyone's a critic days. We were talking about politics and I remember we like, okay, we're going to read, we're going to go through like, what does McCain stand for? And what are his policy positions? And we went through and kind of evaluated his policy positions and then Obama's policy positions, because there was a time when that's how you could think about politics. I remember we were like, we don't want to put a spin on this. We didn't even say it as much.

We're going to put a spin on this. And I think both of us said, we're both going to vote for Obama probably, but we are going to read them out loud. Right. But then even as we were reading them, we kind of stopped and we're like, this is actually,

I can't, like, I don't think this is a good policy. Like we had to stop because there was, because they were genuinely bad policies. Right. But they weren't like, there's rapists coming in from Mexico.

Right, man. Right? They weren't that. They weren't MS-13 is going to steal your baby. I don't know if that's the name of the band. It doesn't matter. The band. The band.

It may as well be. The band. Fall Out Boy is going to steal your baby. I don't know if that's the name of the gang or not. But I- The Chemical Brothers are coming for you. It's called birth control, bitch. This story is from The Independent. AOC mocks Lauren Boebert over claims she had her third son because birth control was too expensive. We can actually listen

to Lauren Boebert describe the heartwarming tale of her accidental son and the failure of the American healthcare system. Oh, that sounds great, Tom. Here we go. I left a prescription at a pharmacy once. I went to get birth control and I was there at the counter and went to pay for it. And the price was very, very high. I said, wow, is this a three, six month prescription? No, ma'am, this is one month. And I said, it's cheaper to have a kid. And I left it there. And now I have my third son, Caden Bobert. And so I'm actually,

it turned out to be a really great thing. Okay, first of all, there's no birth control that's ever been manufactured that's cheaper than a kid. I know, right? I will tell you that for sure. What does it cost?

It's got to cost a million bucks to raise a kid. Oh, I don't know. Probably a million bucks to raise a kid. It costs, I think, when I last time I checked in my bank account, it cost an infinity dollars. It costs an infinity dollars. They never stop flying out.

You know, when Sarah and I were first together, she used to go to Planned Parenthood, which is across the street. Yeah. And Planned Parenthood, which is across the street. And Planned Parenthood has a cheaper... It's not free, but it's

relatively inexpensive, like $20 for a couple of months or something back then. For somebody to just walk in and just see a doctor, it takes two minutes. It costs $5, I think, for the doctor visit. And she didn't have any insurance. So it costs like $5 for the doctor visit. And then they were like, okay, you got the doctor's visit. Now you can get birth control. And then after that, she never had to see a doctor

again. They just would come and be like, okay, your prescription, here you go. You're on the record here as getting it. And then she would just go in and get it. And she got it. I want to say it was relatively inexpensive. I don't remember. I remember she used to go in and get it. And she got it. I want to say it was relatively inexpensive. I don't remember. I remember she used to go in there with a 20 and I don't know how many months she would come out with. Right. But months of birth control for it.

And it's like the reason you're arguing that you fucked up and had a kid afterwards because you didn't do any kind of rhythm method or whatever else to try to avoid the child. You decided to just have a kid because you left a thing, which is a dumb thing to do anyway. It's also a dumb reason to have a baby.

The reason you brought an entire human being into existence is you were like- It's for spite at a pharmacy. It seems like a bad idea. I was mad at Walgreens. This is my baby, CVS. I'm not. I don't know.

I can't call the baby CVS. Oh, that's amazing. Get over here, Rite Aid. Oh, that's so good. But yeah, but like fucking the kid is, the kid, like you have a kid. I also, by the way, I just want to mention like,

I was a mistake, baby. Same. Like I know for a hundred percent because my parents had said it a couple of times. Like you weren't expected. And that means we didn't want you. That's what that means, man. It doesn't mean. And it's not like my parents benefited by having a third kid.

They were like, wow, we really fucking hit the lotto with the third kid there. They didn't want me, man. They didn't want me. They might not even want one of my brothers. Like, are you kidding me? And then,

but like, like, this is a lady though that fucking hates Planned Parenthood. Yeah. But Planned Parenthood, which we don't fund abortions

through federal dollars anyway, could easily fucking, with money, money, easy money, we could give birth control to anybody who wanted it across the country. Yeah, like what she is describing is a health care system that failed her basic needs. Yes, failed her. And then she's putting this like spin on it like, well, but I got my kid and I love my kid. and then she's putting this like spin on it. Like, well,

but I got my kid and I love my kid. Look, I, most people that have kids that are surprises or whatever, they're forced to love them. Eventually you, you love your kid. Cause biology kicks in. You're forced to love them because it's expected by society.

Right. That's part. Yeah. You love your kid. That doesn't mean that that was a good thing for your life. It doesn't mean that that's what you bake base public policy on. It doesn't mean that like we dis you base public policy on. It doesn't mean that we disenfranchise other

human beings because it all worked out in the end for you. That's such a stupid reason to do something. That's nothing. Lady, that's nothing. Well, you know, it all worked out in the end for me. So I guess everybody that gets pregnant, it will all work out in the end for them. One time when I was driving,

I closed my eyes and sneezed four times in a row. And then I snapped back and I was fine. I kept driving. So everyone should just close their eyes and sneeze. While they drive. Close your eyes and sneeze as much as you want when you drive. What the fuck? It's a stupid thing to say.

It's like a stupid, it's a stupid thing to make your life ubiquitous, right? Yeah, man. This is, my life is writ large for everybody else. Also shows just how dumb you are, right? God, she is a stupid fucking human being. How dumb of a person you are to just be like, well, you know, I, halfway through

telling this story, I realize it's probably not a good anecdote, but I'm going to continue it. I'm going to work my way through it. You should have just been like, you know what? This is a bad story. I'm just going to keep going and go with something else. Can't you realize that you're telling an anecdote that is literally proving the point you're not trying to make? She is, she is proving exactly the opposite of her story. And she's so fucking dumb. It's because she is so ill-equipped for this. Oh my God. This woman

is so spectacularly out of her league in this work. She is like seven or eight years from now, she'll be fucking selling feet pics on OnlyFans. All right. She is. That's she is not qualified for this work. Cecil. Right.

She is not. She does not have the gravitas and the intellect to do this job. Sure. She can't even tell when she's making the other guy's point for them. She's like on the soccer field, kicking the ball into the wrong goal and being like, and like running around. Are you kidding me?

She's like that kid who's like from one of those Adam Sandler movies, like, oh, do it all. Yeah. That kid. Yeah. You It's like that kid. Yeah. You're such a stupid kid and you just scream your own name after everything.

You ain't seen nothing yet until you see the flaming butthole. Your butthole will be flaming and you will not be able to sit down until you have a flame coming out of your butthole and there'll be people walking around all over America with flames coming out of your butthole. And there'll be people walking around all over America with flames coming out of their butthole. This story comes from Block Club Chicago.

Satanists sue Chicago for not allowing them to say, Hail Satan, at city council meetings. I love this so much. I also love their little Christmas tree picture here. The Chicago Satanists look baller. They look like a great group of people. Why don't you read what they were going to say at the thing that they got rejected for? So this is the rejected invocation that they were trying for years, by the way. They had to finally resort to a lawsuit because they

were just getting stalled out. And when the guy was like, yeah, look, when I heard they were going to say, hail Satan, I couldn't let this go through. Couldn't let it go through because it was against my beliefs. My religious beliefs. They literally said that out loud. I'm like, you're in Chicago. What is wrong with you? Your beliefs don't matter, man. Also, like an invocation doesn't matter, man.

But see, also, if you're a Christian and a Muslim gives the prayer, doesn't that go against, it's the, it feels like it would.

It would go against, like when you're a monotheist. Feels like it would. All other theisms are going to go against your beliefs. What if there's like against, like when you're a monotheist. Feels like it would. All other theisms are going to go against your beliefs. What if there's like a Wiccan or something? Do they light sage and say something? Does that go against it?

I hope they just do the whole thing as tarot cards. I hope they just do charcuterie crystals and tarot cards. Tarot cards. Drive right through with a tarot card. All right, so here's the invocation that they've not been able to give yet. Let us stand now,

unbowed and unfettered by arcane doctrines born of fearful minds in darkened times. That's so good. Let us embrace the Luciferian impulse to eat of the tree of knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old. Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions and not their fealty to arbitrary social norms and illusionary categorizations. Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true. Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of one or all. That which will not bend must break, and that which will not bend must break and that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise it is done

hail Satan that's awesome writing by the way that's fucking mic drop writing it's so good and if you took out the two references to the Christian devil would you think anyone would disagree with any of that stuff

like if you took it off I think a lot of people would disagree with any of that stuff? Like if you took it off? Yeah, I think a lot of people would disagree. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like it's good enough obfuscation of what you're really talking about without those two references in it because I think it's good enough writing

to trick people that are just believers, straight believers. I think it's good enough writing to trick those people. Yeah, maybe. I think a Southern good enough writing to trick those people. Yeah, maybe. I think a Southern Baptist would disagree with every sentence in it. I don't think you're wrong. But it's written in such a way.

But in Chicago, it would fly. It would fly. And you know, like, I'm just so saddened that they had to go resort to this. In a city that, you know, recently elected a progressive mayor, has been for a long time a Democratic stronghold. Oh, like a hundred years. My entire life, which is like a hundred years,

it's been a Democratic stronghold. And so like that's, I mean, it's been one of those places where we've even had Republican governors come and go throughout the years. But Chicago. But Chicago's always been steadfastly blue for like our entire lives and longer and longer. Haley and I looked it up not that long ago.

It's been like, it's a super long time. It's a long time. It's a long time. It's a real long time. And it's so sad that this is, this I feel like is something that needs to be a cornerstone of the Democratic Party to have what we should consider as religious freedom,

which is freedom from all religions, period. I think it needs to be an absolute cornerstone of the Democratic Party, and it needs to be something that is embraced across the board. Because the thing is, is that there's more nuns now than there ever was. Yeah, yeah. You know, you stop looking at being, you're basically constantly playing into the hand of all the religious people by saying, you're it. You're the one who I'm going to give lip service to you. Look, if I stand in the park and I throw bread to pigeons all day, I think the world is full of pigeons. Yeah.

Right? Because that's what I've attracted. You're right. You're right. But like, there's a lot more of all the others than there are pigeons. It's growing. It's growing. The, like the politicians stand in the park, throwing bread to pigeons and they've convinced themselves the most powerful bird in the world is a goddamn pigeon. Cause that's all they ever see in front of them in a flock. And they, they always seem to forget that there are plenty,

And they always seem to forget that there are plenty, plenty of religious people out there who 100% would be fine with this happening. Yes. 100% agree with no one else infringing on their own personal religious freedom versus the public's freedom from religion. And I think that they don't play that up enough that there's plenty of religious people that are smart enough to get that and that respect that. And I think they forget those people exist because they want to say, well, it's 70% Christian. And so 70% Christian means I need to play to Christians, but it's not because 50% of those, more than when we say 70% of all people, 50% of those all people are going to vote Republican.

Yeah, man. And a lot of those, most of those people are Christians. And so you're looking at mostly who you're going to be playing to are liberal Christians and then non-believers. And that non-believer number is going to keep creeping up year after year after year after year. And like you were saying before, if not here, where? Yeah. You know, if not in Chicago, if not in a liberal bastion, where? We need to unabashedly be liberal where we can be liberal. We need to show and demonstrate and let this be our experiment, right? Ron DeSantis has seized hold of Florida.

Absolutely right. And he is running a grand racist white male experiment. Let's run the progressive experiment. We keep being too chicken shed. I think you're right. To run the experiment. I think you're right, yeah. I think you're right.

This is our laboratory. This is what we can do. And here's the thing. There's plenty of, there are plenty of places, well-funded places all across this country that are blue. Yeah, man. Well-funded places that can easily support

all the ideas that we have. Look at how many people were running on UBI. Once Andrew Yang introduced all that to basically the public consciousness, because nobody was talking about UBI before him. No one brought that up before him. But once that happened, there started to become more and more of a buzz about that.

I'd love to see that be another talking point in every single one of the presidential primaries. I'd love to see it. Both sides. Talk about it on both sides. There's funding to make that happen. Yep. If we're going to survive well, the AI revolution, UBI is necessary. Yes. UBI is necessary if we're going to survive and do it well,

the AI revolution. Yeah. Because that money is still going to be made. Right. It's just not going to be made by a person. So it's either all going to funnel up and then there's no money at the ground and then there's no goods and services to buy to keep following up. And the whole system collapses, right? Because a service economy requires a moneyed populace. Yes. Otherwise there's nothing to buy. Yep. Right. So like if we're going to survive this AI revolution, and I hope that we do, we are going to need to figure out ways to put money in the hands of, of every person. Yep. Because there's going to be a lot of jobs. A lot of people's job is to make decisions. I've seen three or four articles that mentioned that, that mentioned that UBI has to be part of this. And that's, that's been people's assertion all along when it comes to robots replacing humans. Yeah. That's been people's assertion all along, you know, in science fiction and in reality.

But there's been people who have said that. You know, the thing is, and I was thinking about this this week, when the robots came for blue collar jobs, blue collar people never had any political force or power. Yeah. When the robots come for white collar jobs, then we might get it. Yeah. Right?

Because when robots replaced, I'm just being honest, when robots replaced the poor, the poor were already disenfranchised. They didn't have a lobbyist. Right. When robots replace the powerful, then the powerful will all of a sudden solve that problem. They will. So. I'm angry. I've had enough of these people.

They're a bunch of Christian murderous scum. They're on giant death factories keeping babies alive. They're selling their body parts. What more do you need to know about these people? I go out and face these scum. They literally crawl out from under rocks. They have green looking skin. This story comes from Gizmodo. Alex Jones gets punked by a fake AI Tucker Carlson. So, Tom, we listened to the fake tape that's done by this guy.

His name is Prank Stallone on Twitter. And he has like a couple of, I guess a YouTube channel or a Twitch channel where he pranks people. Well, he did an AI, basically what they used to do with those call boards where you have a thing already punched in and you can have this thing say it. He essentially made one of those.

Because we listened to the call that he made. And it's a terrible call. I don't even want to play it because it doesn't... They talk over each other too much for anyone to really understand it. Unless you know what they say ahead of time, it's really hard to understand what they're saying. But he

calls... It's an AI voice of Tucker Carlson calling Alex Jones. Alex Jones picks up. They kind of confirm that it's Tucker back and forth with Alex saying, hey, what do you need? And this guy basically saying, hey, it's an AI saying, hey, I just wanted to see if you're available to talk essentially. And then finally, once that gets through, the one thing that does come across is he says, I think we to see if you're available to talk essentially. And then finally, once that gets through, the one thing that does come across is he says, I think we should do a segment on your show where we have our shirts off

and we suck each other's nipples as kind of a way to like get out, to thumb our nose at this gender conformity stuff. I'm paraphrasing, but not by much. And Alex responds with, that sounds like a great idea. Yeah, he buys it first. He buys it at first.

And then this guy has to repeat himself so much because Alex keeps talking over him. And there's a delay, I think, in when you press this thing to when it talks. And so Alex is saying, starting to say something when this thing starts talking. And then after like three times, Alex says, man, the AI's got you down pretty good.

I see it's from your number, but I don't think it's you. And he hangs up on it. And he hangs up on it. I mean, he gets to that point where he basically gets to that. It's a short call. It's a short call. It's a very short call. But here's what he should have done.

He should have just left it alone. Because if he'd have left it alone, then nobody probably, this guy's people would have seen it maybe. And maybe one little piece of it might've got out. But really, if you listen to it, it doesn't sound good for the AI caller because Alex sussed it out within 30 seconds. He sussed it out.

He was like. And he didn't get Alex to like admit to much or do anything and all that. So it's just kind of like, hey, I kind of did a funny prank and you got to be like, okay,

well, I remember when that dog would prank call people. Sometimes I'm, you know, and you're like, you're like, hey, I kind of did a funny prank and you got to be like, okay, well, I remember when that dog would prank call people sometimes. You know, and you're like, whatever, man. There was a guy who used to walk around with a pumpkin on his hand and he would yell at people.

What was his name? Conan O'Brien and like something the insult comic dog, whatever. Was it Rocco or I don't know. Now I got to look up the insult comic dog because yeah what the hell was it Rocco or I don't know now I gotta look up the insult comic dog cause I'm not gonna remember

I'm not gonna remember some guy just had a fucking hand puppet that like it was triumph the insult comic dog yeah yeah yeah

and they used to walk around the hand puppet and yell at people and just roast them right in front of them it was just so mean it was the meanest bit in the world

and everybody would just sit there and take it so fucking weird oh it was the best anyway in any would just sit there and take it. So fucking weird. Oh, it's the best. Anyway, in any case. It's Jerky Boys. It's Jerky Boys. It's all Jerky Boys. You're 100% right. I remember Tom, I remember when I was a kid, I got a hold

of, so before the Jerky Boys made a tape that they sold, they were a pre-viral sensation. I had a a cassette tape that was recorded with some of their stuff on it

that was passed on from person to person to person to person and I had one of these tapes that someone had gotten from a friend who was like in Ohio or whatever

and I remember listening to it and being like oh this is the best shit you know you got the guys like oh I gotta get my shoes and I remember listening to it and being like, oh, this is the best shit. You know, you got the guys like, oh, I got to get my shoes and I benched 400 pounds

or whatever, you know, and it's like, you know, it's all just goofy shit but I remember laughing at it because I was 10 and I was like,

this is the funniest shit I've ever heard because I was 10 and then this guy kind of does basically the same thing. Same thing. He just uses AI

to fucking prank Alex Jones. But Alex Jones brings it up on his program and so I want to play Alex Jones bring it up on his program because I think it's really awesome. One of the most bizarre things that ever happened to me in my life happened yesterday afternoon at about 545. I was sitting in an accounting meeting

InfoWars accounting meeting. Okay. I just want to talk about his voice just for a second. Okay. Have you ever heard you know when they get those like InfoWars accounting meeting. Okay. I just want to talk about his voice just for a second. Okay. Can I just talk about his voice for a second? Have you ever heard, you know when they get those

like Toyota Supras and they got that, that muffler on them. They got the glass back? They got that muffler on them that you can hear for like six miles away when they hit the gas.

And it sounds like a fart. It just sounds like a fart. And that's, that's his fucking voice. It is 100% his voice. In an office building, out here, and the phone rings. And it says Tucker Carlson.

And we talk, here and there on the phone. We text a lot. And I said, I'm going to step out. Got an important call to make. And I stepped out. No, you don't. You have an important call

to get. It's true. And somebody tried to shake my hand. What's his mic? What mic is that? I don't know. Ian, what mic is that? Ian, what mic is that? Figure it out. Ian doesn't listen. I said, hey, I can't talk. I was a little bit distracted. I go, hey, what's going on, Tucker? And it's Tucker Carlson's voice.

And it starts saying these horrible lewd, sexual things to me. It does not. It's not one thing to you. He said, he said, you should go on each other.

She'd go on the show and suck each other's nipples. Yeah. Is that the, you're Alex Jones. And that's the most horrible thing you've ever heard. And one of the other things I want to mention too, is Alex immediately agreed and said, it has to happen on info.

Yeah. Like, so he immediately agreed and said it has to happen on InfoWars.com. Yeah. Like, so he immediately agreed. Here's the thing. Tucker Carlson could have said, I want to come on and I want to, I want to start a human centipede with you. And he would have said, yeah, whatever. It's got to be on InfoWars.com. It doesn't matter because all he wanted was Tucker Carlson on his program.

That's exactly right. Doesn't matter what he said. Also, I don't believe for a second that Alex Jones wakes up every morning in that body and can be surprised by the lewdness of anything. I guess you're probably true. That's probably true.

And I instantly figure out this is AI. He does figure it out pretty quick. He figured it out pretty quick. And I confront the individuals on this. They say a few more things and then the phone hangs up. Because you hung it quick. And I confront the individuals on this. They say a few more things, and then the phone hangs up. Because you hung it up. And I immediately called Tucker and talked to him, talked to his lead producer as well.

He doesn't have a producer. Is he going to be doing his new show on Twitter? Oh, maybe he does. He might have a Twitter producer. Maybe he does have a Twitter producer. He has Ian. Oh, God. That show's going to suck.

It'll never air. Called Scooter Up. He called Scooter Up. What kind of microphone does he have? Hold on. What is this Scooter Up? What did he just say? Well, called Scooter Up and just said,

Hey, if this just happened to me, it's probably happening to other people. This is the next level of their setup. I love that this dude got Alex's fucking phone number and had Tucker Carlson's phone number. I know. I think of all the things that happened in this, I'm like, that dude did a good job of getting those two things. That's fucking dope. Good for you, dude.

Then it turns out the individual that did it, that has quite the following on Twitter, bragged that they had just done it. He did brag. We're going to be talking about that. He says he's going to be airing it. His name is Prank Stallone on Twitter. You're giving him more fucking. He's going to be airing it on his show Monday. Well, it's very important for Prank Stallone to come on this show today or tomorrow and explain he's not part

of a government group or an agency. What? A government group? What are you talking? I thought he was like, this is their next step. The next step is to jerky boys you. The CIA is sitting around in their fucking cabal meeting. Spencing their fingers in a meeting? Okay. What if I get him to say I'll suck Tucker Carlson's

nipples? Get him to say nipples? That's the word that activates the Manchurian candidate. With ties sitting around a table and being like, but if I get him to say I'll suck Tucker Carlson's nipples, that'll ruin

him. And there's some other guys like, why is that your answer to every problem? This guy's just got a whole PowerPoint presentation with Tucker's nipples on him. He's got one of those. You remember when he did the fucking science fair and he got the trifold behind him? And he basically walks behind and he puts his nipple in through the hole. It's like a glory hole for nipples.

And he just puts it in and he's holding it there. And he's like, imagine this is Tucker's nipple. And this is his mouth. And he's like a glory hole for nipples and he just puts it in and he's holding it there and he's like imagine this is Tucker's nipple and this is his mouth and he's like I love you fucking amazing are you kidding me I would pay to see

this fucking entire I would pay as much money as possible to see this boardroom in action why doesn't this exist why is the CIA wasting my money

on other things stop buying drones. Do this. Do this. God damn it. Could you imagine? You get Putin to suck on Alex Jones' nipple or something? Come on, man.

This rights itself. You would fucking, you would throw over the world. You could overthrow everything. I don't even care what else happens. The world is your oyster. I'm just picturing Alex Jones pressed up to the glass like he's in prison.

It's like a teller window with a nipple that comes out. Amazing. What he did, spoofing someone's number and then doing that in many jurisdictions is a crime.

Oh, God. I don't think Tucker Carlson wants to press charges, but... He doesn't give a shit. You're the only one that cares. It's under your skin so bad, weirdo. I don't know. Yeah, maybe you're right.

Yeah. You're on the air and need to explain your intent was not to be mean. This is how it's true. Were you a meany, meany poo head? You need to tell me. You need to look me in the eye. You need to say, I wasn't trying to be mean.

That's fucking amazing, dude. You better come on my show and say you're sorry. Get the fuck out of here. And by the way, for the record, I am not actually a duty head. Also, I have never seen, for more than a couple seconds, Tucker Carlson's nose. Now, we did sun assholes together. We did sun. But that's a manly thing.

That's a man thing. We go out. You know, maybe we shoot somebody or whatever. We sun our assholes. It's a Saturday afternoon. It's a thing we do. A bunch of low-T soy boys. That's how we get our testosterone. Shooting out our nipples.

I lactate testosterone. I'm such a man, I lactate testosterone. As he says, he's pointing out the dangers of AI here. Fine and dandy. But it's serious. Serious stuff.

You don't know what's going on. What's been happening to Tucker behind the scenes. What has been happening to Tucker Carlson behind the scenes? I can't understand what he did. It's not good. Is Tucker running a marathon and his nipples are chafing? Is Tucker running a marathon and his nipples are chafing? The only thing that'll stop the bleeding

is if somebody sucks on these things. That's why I've got to treat Tucker Carlson's nipples with care. I got to kiss his boo-boos. His booby-boos. His booby boos. So I want to thank everybody who's a patron. I want to thank everybody who contributes to the show.

This upcoming week is a funny show that we're going to be releasing for everybody. So check your Thursday feed. That's an everybody thing, but patrons will get a little early. And we're going to be back next Monday with a show as well. But we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit.

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