Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 705: Unsecured Load

Episode Date: August 3, 2023

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The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political.

And there is no welcome mat. Today is whatever day you're listening to this on. I don't know. It's August. I feel like that's the new engine. Today is the day that you are existing. Today is the day the Lord hath made. Let us be glad and rejoice.

Today is the day the Lord hath made at 420 on the clock. On the prayer clock. On the prayer clock. We should have James Earl Jones say that instead. We got to get a fucking James Earl Jones cameo. Is he on cameo? I don't know. Is he dead?

Well, that would make it way harder. I don't know who's dead or alive That would be harder Let's see if he's alive Let me do a search real quick Shit Cause if he's alive If he's alive and on Cameo We gotta figure out a way

To like pay James Earl Jones To like read the skeptics Creed or something That says is an American actor, not was. 82. 92. 92? What? He's an old man. Holy shit. 92.

Yeah, he's probably not on Cameo. Well, good for him. 92. Goddamn. Do you want to live to 92? If I'm functional, sure. Yeah. I certainly don't if I'm not. Like, that doesn't sound like it'd be great. I am under strict orders from Hayley that I have to die after her.

Oh, okay. She's made this very clear. This is a requirement. She says it a lot. She's small. You could smother her. That's true. It's a miracle I haven't, to be honest.

But I'm under strict orders. And like the other day, which is fine. I'm like, yeah, no problem. All right. Okay. And then like, but I'm older than she is by three years. And the other day we're talking to the kids and she's like, yeah, I want to live to 90. I'm like, you're putting me to 93.

That's old. You're putting me to 93 plus. That's old. I don't know that I want to live to 90. I'm like, you're putting me to 93. That's old. You're putting me to 93 plus. That's old. I don't know that I want to make it tonight. I have no hope based on how I've lived the first 45 years. 93 is a lot. Yeah, man. 93 feels like a lot.

Dude, stack another 48 years out of this fucking pig. Ask me that in 20 years, though. Yeah. And I might be like, 93 looks great. 93 looks awesome. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know, man. It's just like I wake up and I'm like. The farther you get on that scale, the more appealing it appears. That's for sure. At 45, there are times I'll wake up and be like, I got to pee, but no, I'm too achy. I'm just like, I'm not going to get out of bed. I'd rather just lay here. That's why I have a waterproof sheet.

Like this thing just hurts all the time. All right. So this first story comes from PolitiFact and it is a fact check of this insane Instagram virality post. I am so glad that PolitiFact has put great power behind this particular fact, Tom. Go ahead. The tornado.

Jesus Christ. The tornado that destroyed a Pfizer building in North Carolina was orchestrated using weather manipulation to provide an insurance claim for Big Pharma. If you had the funds to create a weather machine, why do you need insurance money? Everything about, so here's, okay, so here's what has to be happening. Yeah. You are Big Pharma and you has to be happening. Yeah. You are big pharma. Mm-hmm. And you control a weather machine.

Sure. And you're like, well, I know I'm already big pharma. Yeah. But I'm going to wipe out my own structure, my own building to get an insurance check. But that's not, like, insurance isn't, getting an insurance check isn't profitable you lose your building so like that is so true it is so true because they never value it at what it's worth right like what it's worth is not you don't get you don't get you don't win the lottery when your house burns yeah right right look it's not like you're building full of all the work that

you've been doing that gets like swept away and the insurance company is like, what's the Kelly Blue Book on all the work that was inside here? It's like, no, we're going to replace the building and maybe some of the parts. Right. And we're going to do it at cost. And so it's probably not going to be super great for you. We're going to give you pennies on the dollar depreciated against all your assets.

But also like here's how crazy the conspiracy theorists have gotten. Something bad happened to Pfizer, and they're like, bet that was good for Pfizer. I bet Pfizer wanted that to happen. What? These guys could find a way to lose by winning or win by losing or whatever. What the shit is all this? It's so amazing. It's so funny.

It is such backwards-ass thinking. And what's the craziest part is PolitiFact had to get somebody to be like, can you run this down? Yeah, I know. Here's the thing I admire about PolitiFact. If I worked at PolitiFact and somebody was like, hey, there's a bunch of Instagram posts. I'd be like, I quit.

I quit forever. I quit so hard I never worked here. Tom punches his boss in the face. He's like, get away from me. I will fight you. And then you break the door on your way out. Tom pulls the door so hard it breaks. And then he leaves.

That's only to get in places. I've never done that to get out of a place. I wouldn't. You've never been in this situation. I've never been locked in a house. You have no idea how you're going to react. You could break a bunch of doors. You could break the airlock door on the way out.

Are you kidding me? Can you check this Instagram post about big pharma and weather control? Yeah, sure. It's not true. I'm going to lunch. I could do this from home. You know what's so funny, too, is like if they did have the control of the weather, they would just make it rainy all the time and sell us the antidepressants.

But instead, they made it really hot, and they're going to kill us all. So, you know, yeah. If I had a weather machine and I could make it rain, I'd go to the strip club. There's no other place better to make it rain, my bud. This is for Business Insider. I got to say, Cecil found the stories this week for the fight. This is, they're killing me. They're killing me.

A woman who said she won the $1.08 billion Powerball jackpot was lying and quote, just wanted to be on TV, store owner's granddaughter says. And they just, they literally came up with it, they said it, and she said, yeah, I won.

I love this because it's like, I won the Powerball. It's like, cool, can I see your ticket? No. And then they run away. That's the whole story, though. That's it. Like, you don't have the winning ticket. That's not, you're going to get caught.

You just wanted to be on TV as a liar? What do you do with $1.808 billion, man? Oh, God. I sleep in for so many days in a row. Are you kidding me? Oh, if I had a— Here's the thing. I would be very good at being rich.

You think? Yeah, I think I would. You think you'd be good at it? Yeah. I think a lot of people are bad at being rich because they're not me. And if— And I think I would just be terrific at it. I wish you could just crowdfund being rich.

Yeah. I wish you could just be like, look, I think I could do a good job at it. Make me rich. I wish there was like a Brewster's Millions TV show. Thank you. Where you just,

they give you like $10 million or whatever. If you spend a million dollars in a month. I could, I would bang that out. That would be so amazing. Brewster's Millions TV show. That was a fun movie. It would also be a very expensive TV show.

It would be a very expensive TV show. Very, very expensive. I'm sure it'll be a Muscle funded eventually. He likes to give away money. A billion dollars is a goddamn, it's an immense amount of money. I played with the numbers the other day on a billion dollars,

just thinking about it. Because there was a post, I don't remember where I saw it. one of these horrible toxic groups I'm on on Facebook that I can't quit for whatever reason. And somebody was complaining about, you know, billionaires or millionaires or giving away money or socialists. I don't fucking remember what it was, but I looked at it and I was like, you know, oh, it was somebody asking a question. They were like, you know, would you, if you had a billion, if you won a billion dollar lottery, would you give away money to your family and friends? And there were a bunch of

people in the comments saying like, I'd give, you know, a few thousand to this person or 10,000 to that person. And I was like, I'm just going to run the numbers real quick. And I ran the numbers. And if you want to, if you had a billion dollars, Cecil, and you decided you were going to give a million dollars to 100 of your closest family and friends. Do you get a billion dollars? Well, no, you get some. Let's say you get a smaller amount. Let's say you get 400 million. Well, but I did the math on a billion.

So you got to just understand what a billion dollars was. And I put this in this group or whatever. But I want to argue with you about it. Don't argue with the math. If you gave a million dollars to a hundred of your closest friends, a million dollars. I don't have a hundred close friends. I don't have a hundred.

I'd have a lot of extra. I'd have a lot of extra million dollars. So if you gave away. I could double up a lot of people. A hundred million dollars, Cecil. And then you took the other $900 million that you had left over. And then you put it in a savings account. Like a great big dumb idiot. You put it in a savings account like a great big dumb idiot you put it in a savings

account at about a 4.37 percent yield which is about an approximate yield for a savings account you'd be insane to do that right but you put in a fucking savings account how long would it take you to make back the hundred million that you gave away i feel like i feel a lot of pressure right now two years no shit you'd be a billionaire again in two years. You could give away a hundred million dollars. You could give away a million dollars to a hundred people, take it, put it in a savings account.

Or you could live on like $50 million a year, basically. Yeah. It's insane how much money that much money is. It's just a crazy, wild, lunatic amount. Like that number doesn't even make sense.

When I started playing with a billion dollars, I had to download a different calculator for my iPhone. Because my iPhone was just like, put the fucking E and the six or whatever. I was like, that's not useful. Can you imagine being like Elon Musk and have 200 of those? That's so much money, man.

It's literally like an impossible, it's so much money that other. It's literally like an impossible, it's so much money that like other things start to not make sense anymore. Yeah, right. Like other scaled thought processes don't make sense anymore. I love that she just wanted to be on TV. No, man, that's how you do it too.

You just run up on, they're out in front of the place where they sold the lottery ticket and she just runs up and says, I won! And then she runs away. You're my spirit animal i love it tom i put this in the notes because i know how much you hate uh all things all things crypto all things crypto all things blockchain i know you hate it so much i do and so i just want to put this on the big screen for people who are watching us this is read this out loud because i know it's going to bring you great joy. NFT of Jack Dorsey's first tweet originally purchased for $2.9 million is worth less than

$4! $4! Less than $4 in today's market. You know, if you had that billion dollars and you gave $2 million to somebody and they bought the NFT tweet, wouldn't you punch him in the face? I would fucking kill them.

I'd be like, I gave you $2 million and you didn't like pay off your house. You bought a tweet? You bought a tweet? You bought an NFT of a tweet. You don't even have the tweet. I know you're right. You're absolutely right.

Cecil, I remember sitting in your kitchen. I had never heard of an NFT before. And Ian first tried to explain an NFT to me. And I was like, I don't really get that. And then like, I remember trying to understand it. And then I sat in your kitchen and I talked to you and your wife about NFTs. And I was just like,

I keep thinking with all this crypto shit, I must not understand it. And so then I keep reading more about it. And then I'm like, no, this is not a failure of my imagination. NFT is garbage. It's nothing. It's nothing. And then I'm like, no, this is not a failure of my imagination. NFT is garbage. It's nothing. It's nothing. You didn't buy anything.

You bought nothing. I love that somebody's out $2.9 million. And then they tried to sell it. But they tried to flip it at first. They bought this thing for $2.9 million. They have literally nothing to show for it because an NFT is nothing. It's literally just nothing. Why would you put that on his body?

It's nothing. So then they have their air pocket or whatever, and they're like, well, I'll flip it. And then they try to flip it for like $28 million. And they're like, well, if you guys buy it, I'll give half of the extra to charity. And nobody bought it because it's literally nothing. And now it's worth less than a fucking

grande Starbucks drink. Here's the thing, though. Like, it's not worth anything, period. Yeah. $4 is overvalued. day Starbucks drink. Here's the thing though. Like it's not worth anything. Period. Yeah. Like that. Like an NFT is nothing.

It is literally nothing. The only thing you're paying for is for like somebody's computer to go once in a while. That's what you're paying for. It's a, it's a useless item. And all NFTs were like this. the person who invented this and thought this up what an amazing grip this was oh to think this up and then maybe come out on top the person who sold this thing to them or whatever who sold it to him it wasn't this guy dorsey i don't know who even purports to own the nft like who fucking mint minted the fucking NFT of the first tweet?

Man, whoever did it, what a genius move. It's fucking awesome. They pulled $2.9 million out of the thin air. They had to be laughing. I mean, this is a magic trick. God, can you imagine when you finally got your two, when you're like, when it happened, you're like, I sold nothing and I got $2.9 million.

For what? Nothing. You know why? Something will point to something on a fucking spreadsheet somewhere. That's what you bought. Unreal. You bought a digital pointer finger to a spreadsheet. You bought nothing and you spent someone's entire work life on it.

Yeah, right. Fucking unreal. It's worth less than $4. I love it so much. Oh, God. This story is great, Cecil. This story is from ChannelNewsAsia.com. Sure it is.

Sorry. I found it from a weird spot. I'm right there with you, buddy. Silly show. Silly show. Don't believe it. It doesn't matter. Man who sued woman over luxury watch sales

ordered to refund her $28,000 instead as their fake. So she sold these watches. So he sold the watches to her, and she didn't pay him. Yeah. She wound up not paying him. She was like, these are fake. These are fake. I'm not paying.

He's like, well, I'll sue you. And then they sued him. They're like, yeah, no, they're fake. You can't charge people obscene amounts of money for something that's not real that you purported is real. That's not how this works. And then they're like, not only did you not win your lawsuit, you owe her money, which I love. You're a watch guy.

I am, yeah. Have you looked at Rolexes? I've never looked at one because they're, like, I buy what, like, would be called, like, fashion watches. So, like, I don't have anything very expensive. I have one watch that's a four figure, a low, low, low, low, low four figure watch. Most of my watches are a few hundred bucks. I just think they look cool.

They're like go good with this outfit or that outfit, that kind of thing. So you're like a designer sort of watch. It like does a thing. It looks like a thing. It's like a guy bracelet. Yeah, exactly. It's exactly it. I looks like a thing. It's like a guy bracelet. Yeah, exactly. I don't have them as investments.

I have one. I got one watch as a gift very recently from Haley. It was a vintage watch. That watch is like an expensive watch, but by Rolex standards, it's not even like the extra chain links. I looked at how much they are, and I was like, how much is a low end? The lowest end. And I was like, how much is like a low end?

Yeah. Like the lowest end. And you're like, it's what now? Yeah, dude. It's a car. It's seriously like 40 grand. Yeah. It's a nice car.

That's a low end. I mean, I can't imagine. And you know, I know this. I know that there's people out there who obsess about certain things, right? Yeah. But there are some things in my life that I just don't understand. I'm like, I don't get spending that kind of money on it. And like, this is one of those things

where you're like, you spent how much on it? Yeah, well, here's the thing is that unlike other pieces of jewelry, you got to figure it as jewelry. Most jewelry depreciates extremely rapidly. But like high-end, they call them time pieces, often appreciate that. Oh, really? Yeah.

So it's an investment. Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize that. So like if you buy your wife like a diamond ring, the day you buy that ring, it's worth significantly less. It's like driving a car off the lot. You can't turn around and resell that ring for what you paid for it. It's immediately worth like a huge amount less, like less than half of what you bought

it for. Wow. Yeah, they really depreciate very quickly. The resale market for jewelry is pretty bad. It's pretty poor. The resale market for timepieces, high-end timepieces, is extremely good. And if you get like one of the pieces that ends up becoming a collector's piece

or, you know, becomes coveted, they can go up, up, up, up, up, up, up and triple. Crazy. They can become 10, 15 times worth. Wow, I didn't realize that. So they can be really good investments. I didn't realize that. Huh.

I have a buddy that owns a bunch of timepieces, and most of them have appreciated it. Does he wear them? Yeah, he will wear them from time to time. I would never put something that, I mean, that's like wearing your 401k. Yeah, it's fucking insane. I don't know that I would want to do that. I mean, that's like wearing your 401k. Yeah. It's fucking insane. I don't know that I would want to do that.

He's in a different income. Yeah. No. Yeah. Like it sounds like a rich guy. If he's got, he's got dough. If you have to do air quotes and say time pieces, Tom, I imagine that the man has a lot of money. I don't buy the whole time piece thing.

I think that's fucking pretentious. I own some watches. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I have watches. I think they look cool. I wear them like, oh, this watch looks good with that suit.

This watch looks good with that thing. That's why I do it. It's a piece of jewelry. Sure. It's such a piece of jewelry to me that some of them, the batteries are dead, and you still wear them. You'll still wear them. It doesn't matter. I'm not looking at the time on it.

I just think I like the way it looks. Yeah, yeah. That's it. Yeah. Someone walks up to Tom. What time is it? I don't fucking know. Check your phone like a person, weirdo.

This story is so weird. Cecil is the weirdest story ever. So here's the thing. This is a NYPD sergeant, serial litterer, got caught as a serial litterer, and here's what I don't understand. How do you notice in New York? How on earth did somebody catch him?

It's the only trash that's not in a bag or chased by a rat. It's not leaking juice. It's not leaking juice. This is actually, here's the thing. This person was for like a long time littering thousands of pages, reams and reams, thousands of pages of like random shit that they cut out of like Bibles and porno mags and like fucking all kinds, like physics books.

Just like, and they would just drive, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pages just scattered across the streets of New York. And like, that just cleans up the city. Because those pages. It soaks up the juice that's what it's to say like like a sheet of fucking pornography yeah wafting its way gently onto the streets of

new york soaks up the scum when you were when you were a kid yeah and you go fishing yeah and you fillet the fish you put it in some newspaper, right? Yeah. That's exactly what this is. You're basically, these are the newspaper for the dead fish of the city of New York. That is. And that's what this is. They should give this guy the key to the city. They should. Are you kidding me?

Look, what would you rather walk on? A New York City sidewalk with your feet. Let's say, Cecil, a real question, real talk here, real talk. Cecil, real talk. Your shoes are missing. Your socks are missing. You're just in your fucking bare biscuits walking down the street. Yikes. Now, you see up ahead, there's a street,

New York Street. Yeah, up ahead is a signpost. Doesn't have... The time. The twilight zone. Go ahead. It doesn't have thousands of pages of paper all strewn across it. Across the street is that same sidewalk, thousands of pieces of paper. Oh, yeah.

Which do you pick? Oh, it's paper. It is cleaner to walk on litter. 100%. 100% paper. It is cleaner to walk on litter. My favorite photo of visiting New York is when I was walking around with Eli

and Eli and I are hanging out and I made him take a selfie in front of one of the piles of garbage. visiting New York is when I was walking around with Eli and Eli and are hanging out. And I, I made him take a selfie in front of one of the piles of garbage. And so I have a selfie of Eli and I, and I got my armor on Eli and I took a big selfie and I got a giant like grant on my face. And he's got this like, like sad face.

It's the funniest shit. Cause there's a pile of garbage as tall as Eli behind him. And it's just on the street. It's just like literally on the sidewalk, like a gigantic car-sized pile of garbage. And I was like, no, we should definitely take a selfie in front of this.

Well, here's the good thing. If for some reason you had gone to take that selfie and your phone had died in just that moment, you could come back to New York at any time and get that selfie. That pile of garbage? No, it's not. That was not a time-sensitive pile of garbage.

Hey, you know what's on the streets of New York right now? Piles of fucking putrid trash. Piles of garbage. I can't imagine. I know that in certain times they've had like worker strikes. Garbage strikes, yeah. I could not imagine. It would have to, I mean, seriously, it would be like living in a plague city. There's

no amount of money I would not sign a referendum for. Yeah. Like, if I lived in New York, those guys would be driving around in fucking, like, gold-plated trash trucks, dude. Absolutely. They would be like... They would be carried on like a litter or whatever, away. And then they'd slowly climb off of it, throw the garbage in, and get back on.

And someone would carry them back up to the front of the car. 100%. I don't care if they're lighting their cigars with $1,000 bills. I don't care. You're the fucking trash guy in New York. You're the richest man ever. Period. That's it.

That's amazing. That's it. I do want to mention from that story, though, is they caught the fucking guy. He's a sergeant. Period. That's it. That's amazing. That's it. I do want to mention from that story though is they caught the fucking guy. He's a sergeant. Sure. And he gets suspended with one day lost vacation.

He got a tiny slap on the wrist for like shitting paper for like a long time. Yeah. Like thousands of pages and they're like, well, he's a cop. So he loses one day

of vacation. Literally doesn't matter. He can do whatever he wants. This is great too. This is so crazy. He can do whatever he wants. This is great, too. This is so crazy. This is from NDTV. This proves to me that we're living in a simulation. Yes.

Like, this is hard proof we're living in a simulation. The real Barbenheimer. Theater mistakenly plays Oppenheimer with Barbie subtitles. And the best part is, is if you're watching this, you can see there's an image of the guy, Cillian, whatever his name is, the guy who plays Oppenheimer in the movie, Cillian something, Murphy

maybe his name is, or his name's Killian Murphy. I don't know how to say it. But in any case, that guy who's playing Oppenheimer is standing there and he's kind of looking out in some sort of science setting and underneath it, the subtitles say, Barbie, we're so happy to see you.

I would pay extra to see Oppenheimer with Barbie subtitles. Do you think that they sync up like watching, like playing that Pink Floyd album? Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon, and then Wizard of Oz. Do you think they sync up? I think this is the new thing. I think they sync up. To be honest, I think that this should be the new sort of riff tracks.

I would watch a ton of movies that I probably have seen in the past if they put a different movie subtitle on it. I would absolutely do that. I think that would be an absolute hoot to do. Really disparate movies too. Like Oppenheimer and Barbie. No, like have like one of these happy romantic comedies and like a slasher movie as the subtitles.

That'd be a fucking hoot. It would be a blast to see that. It would be fun. And I think if you watch it, you have to watch it with the sound off. Oh yeah. So you can't- So there's no distraction.

There's no distraction. You don't get to hear what they're saying. You have to watch it with the sound off. Oh, yeah. So you can't. So there's no distraction. There's no distraction. You don't get to hear what they're saying. You have to watch it with the sound off so you get to watch what's happening. And then like once in a while, there'll just be something. And I think that would be, I don't know if it would be just be so dissonant. It wouldn't be fun to do or if it would be an absolute hoot. But I don't know. I think that's a great idea.

I bet nine times out of ten it would be nonsense. Yeah. And one time out of ten it would be an absolute hoot. But I don't know. I think that's a great idea. I bet nine times out of ten it would be nonsense. Yeah. And one time out of ten it would be the best. You know, like Jurassic Park with, like, when Harry met Sally. You know? You're just like, what the fuck? It would be awesome. That guy's getting eaten by the dinosaur and it's the Sally part where she's having an

orgasm. Or there's a scene where she's having the orgasm and instead it's like it's supposed to look like the dinosaur roaring that big t-rex you know i think it'd be amazing i really think there's something to be had here i think there's a i think there is a there's a funny riff track like thing that could be that could be created out of this absolutely i think this is so funny and what I love too is that these movies, they have been kind of juggernauts. They're fucking huge. I've been hearing about

both of these so much. Like you say, cultural explosion almost. Explosion in more ways than one with Oppenheimer. But people have been really raving about Oppenheimer. They're really detonating the box office. They've been really raving about it though. I'm interested to see Oppenheimer. I think it'll be good. I'm. I've been really raving about it, though. Like, I'm interested

to see Oppenheimer. I think it'll be good. I'm interested to see it. I am, too. And I am interested to see Barbie as well. Like, Hayley and her friend and my stepdaughter

are all going this Sunday. Oh, nice. They're all going to see the Barbie movie. And the Barbie movie interests me a lot, actually, because... Margot Robbie.

Duh. Well, I'm just saying I'm interested. I'm just saying I'm interested. Margot Robbie. All of. Well, I'm just saying I'm interested. I'm just saying I'm interested. Margot Robbie. All of my news podcasts that I listen to in the morning, all of them have had an entire morning's feature on Barbie. No kidding.

Yeah. All of them at one point have had my big news podcast. They've all had a feature story about Barbie, and I am totally intrigued. I absolutely want to see it. I probably will see it eventually, too. I don't want to horn in on the girls day thing. It's like that's their thing. Go see the movie.

But part of me is like, well, I want to go. We could be two old creepy dudes and go. Dude, we should go together. We should dress as Ken and go together. Oh my God. Can we dress as Ken and go together? We got to dress as Ken and go to the Barbie

movie. That would be so funny and weird. I'll wear the sweater around my shoulders or whatever. Oh, man. I think I deserve to be punched if I dress like that. I'd welcome it. I'd be like, no, that's

cool. You can hit me. Yeah, no, we'd be the creepy old guys in the because from what I'm hearing is like it's a lot of kids are going because it's not aimed – Yeah, but it's a PG-13 movie. It's not aimed at kids, but I think a lot of people are bringing their kids. They are. They're bringing their kids.

But I'm interested to see them both. I'm interested. I heard good reviews of Oppenheimer too. Same, man. That's an interesting – by the way, if you're interested in a very sort of irreverent, funny, somewhat dated book, Richard Feynman wrote a book. And his book is sort of – it's a biography of his life kind of as a misfit sort of. Okay. He's just a really smart guy and kind of didn't fit anywhere.

He's kind of a dork throughout all his life. And he sort of embraces it throughout his whole life. And he tells the story of his life, of how he sort of became curious and then eventually went on to MIT. And then he went on to go study at a different school for his physics degree. And, like, while he was doing his PhD PhD he was pulled into this project. Oh really? So he was pulled into Los Alamos and knew Oppenheimer and knew these other people who were doing

all this stuff and so he had a first hand experience that he tells in the book and so four or five chapters of it is him at Los Alamos talking about because at the same time his wife is dying of tuberculosis and so he's down there with her because it's a good place for someone who's,

you know, sort of dying of tuberculosis to be in the desert or whatever. And like, they're doing that. Yeah, so they're doing that sort of thing. And again, it's back in the day. Free x-rays. It's true, it's true. And he's part of that thing.

And it's funny because like, there is also in the book some, where he's excited about the bomb working, but then also recognizes many years, like a year later, like the devastation and is sort of comes to terms with the things that he had done. And so it's a really it's a I think it's interesting book. It's a it's very sexist because it's written in a time past. Yeah. So there is a lot of sort of feels like sexism in there. Sure. So it's not, there's some parts of it that I'm not crazy about,

but there is certainly an interesting touch. And he has this long piece about him at Los Alamos and it's a first-hand account because he's a young PhD student. Wow. And his whole thing was that he wasn't afraid to, whenever he says throughout the book, many times, whenever I talk about physics, I lose my, I lose my mind and I lose my place. So that means that if somebody has an idea and they're wrong, he will tell them they're wrong. And that was a big thing with like the physicists there. Nobody wanted to push back

on bad ideas. He was one of the few people who was like, no, you're crazy. That's not going to work. And then like, like that was like, no, you're crazy. That's not going to work. And then like, like that was like, that was why he finally. That's like, that's his big advantage. That's his big advantage over everybody else

is that he's willing to say things that other people might not to keep their reputation. And so that's sort of his thing. But he's a really interesting dude and this is a part of his life. And so I'm interested

to see the movie because I read the book. And so, you know, like I didn't read the book about him, but I read a book about the time and what was created and how they did it. Yeah, I'm interested to see the movie because I read the book. And so, you know, like I didn't read the book about him, but I read a book about the time and what was created and how they did it. Yeah, I'm definitely, I want to see them both. Like this is like, I've not been excited for any movie in years.

Yeah. Like I just, you know, cause it's been a lot of superhero shit for a long time. Yeah, no, yeah. I was excited for Dune and I'm going to, I'm excited to see Dune. I haven't, still haven't seen that even though I read it. I loved it. I thought Dune was an excellent movie. There's a new Wes Anderson movie out. Do you like the

Wes Anderson movies? No, I never liked Wes Anderson. I fucking love those movies. I hate those movies. I love them all. I love them all so much. With a passion, I hate them. God, I want to punch that guy. I want to fight him. I want to get in a cage in Octagon with Wes Anderson. I want to fight Wes Anderson. This is why we don't do a movie review show anymore.

There's been a couple movies, but you're right. They're all superhero. And I don't like superhero movies anymore. Like, I stopped liking them. I just don't. There's too many of them. They come out at such regularity, and they're all very similar, and they're all kind of.

And at this point now, you've sort of run through, I think, the really good stuff that they've done, and now you're getting into the weird stuff and I just, I don't care. I don't mind. All right, Tom, Tom, here's what I want to say about this.

Here's what I want to say. Let's talk buddy. I just, I really feel like there's a lot going on in the world. And what we don't need is cocaine sharks. We don't need frenzied cocaine sharks. Cecil, I love you and I don't mean any disrespect by this joke, but you know, when people are losing their jobs and some researcher is like, somebody's like, what do you do?

And they talk to, he's like, well, I, I'm studying to see what happens if you fuck sharks up on Coke. And it's like, yeah, man. If a shark does a bump, what happens? Like, what the fuck? So here's the thing. This is literally there are researchers who are like, you know, a lot of cocaine gets dumped in the ocean. I wonder what sharks think of cocaine.

And then they're like, well, let's see how sharks do when they're all fucking hopped up on Coke. And it turns out, well, they're not even. They're hopped up on something that they think is like a similar dopamine thing. Similar, yeah. So the sharks go fucking cuckoo for it. Like they go fucking cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. My favorite line in here is this one where it says, during one dive to observe behavior, a great hammerhead,

a species which normally avoids humans, came straight at the team and appeared to be swimming wonkily. It had a hat on and had a chocolate factory. I love that there's some researchers like, okay, the swimming is okay. It's a little disjointed. No, no. It's more than disjointed. No, no, it's more than disjointed. It's moving up the scale. It's not disjointed anymore. It's, oh, he's all the way to wonky. He's moving wonkily,

everybody. The little guys come out, and they're orange, and they're doing their little dance. And they sing their little song, and then that blueberry girl floats away. She turns into a bobber, and they're like fishing for sharks. Somebody asked the researcher how he got his job. I got a golden ticket. A golden ticket.

It's a golden ticket. So like, yeah, they're like, then we put not just Coke in the water, but just like stuff that looks like Coke. Yeah, stuff that looks like, and then the sharks are like, give me that. Instead of fake animals, they put like swans in the water, fake swans, to see if they would go for the fake swans or the fake keys of coke.

And the sharks were like, we want that coke. The shark took the coke and went away. It went to, it like ran to the bathroom in the nightclub to go do it. Researchers also recorded a sandbar shark, which appeared to be fixated on something.

It's swimming in tight circles, despite there being nothing in sight. This is the line where- Tight circles. Hold on. It's that commercial. It's like, I do more Coke, so I could buy more,

so I could work harder, so I could spend more money, so I could buy more Coke, so I could work harder, so I could- Swimming around in circles despite there being nothing in sight and being on Coke.

This is the first time I realized that Heath Enright is a sandbar shark. I had no idea that Heath Enright was a sandbar shark. It's not surprising, but it's a little surprising. He grabs you in the middle of the night to tell you how good penne pizza is. This story is just a little sad. This story from leeds live picture that poor picture panicked squirrel

trapped inside toilet roll 30 feet up tree as fire brigade called to it really is too trapped in it look at this poor little guy he got caught in it and then he's stuck in it he is but i love that like somebody sees a squirrel with a fucking toilet paper roll on its head, and they call, and the fire brigade comes out for the squirrel. And they're like, no, man, we got this. We're going to climb up a tree. We're going to do some rope stuff. You know, I do love the—and I don't know if it's dissonant or what, but I love that we live in a society that's like, yeah, like, whatever. We'll run over all the squirrels.

Oh, yeah. Like, we're not gonna swerve. We'll run them over. Like, we're not terribly humane to animals, but every once in a while, if we get a chance to do something nice, you know, we'll cut a fucking, like, six-pack ring off a pelican's

nuts or whatever. Like, we'll take a toilet paper roll off a squirrel. Poor pelican. Worst part is when somebody comes in and takes a soda. Because you're like, oh, that'll make you cringe. You know what I mean? That'll make you cringe. Then they use his beak as the bottle opener.

It's a whole thing. We also, when I was in Norway, we visited, they called it a polar park. But it was a zoo. I mean, but not a zoo. So unlike zoos, which just are like, here's a, here's a small closet that we put this tiger in. He's going to walk back and forth until he goes crazy. This was the wolf area that we saw was huge. So there's got a huge fence around it. And then it just goes back into the forest. And then they feed the animals. They feed them through the fence. They throw stuff over and

whatnot. And the guy who was walking us around and giving us a tour, he had a bucket full of lamb meat that they had gotten from the butcher. And he was just throwing it over the thing. And the wolves, these wolves came out when he called to them because they knew it was bucket feeding time and they came running out and then they, they were just sitting there eating some of the stuff, but there was bears in this thing that were there. And I got a chance to see the bears in this big, and it's a big enclosure.

Like it's not like just like a little enclosure. Like it's a huge, you can't see the back of it. It goes off into the forest. It's a, it's a massive. And then is a huge you can't see the back of it there it goes off into the forest it's a it's a massive and then they had uh you know they just had all kind of indigenous animals to the area so they had like a small fox so they weren't trying to like have a bunch of shit that doesn't live no like and here's a norwegian elephant they had a moose but they only had one because they have that chronic wasting disease up there and they don't want to introduce moose to each other because they might spread it.

And so they have to make sure they don't have it before they put them together or something like that. And so there's only one moose now, but they're hoping to get like a small herd together that doesn't have this disease so they can like continue to grow. They had musk ox, which I had never really seen one in person.

That's gotta be a big fucker. It's a big, it looks like a yak or something. It's like a big old yak-like animal. And then they had, you know, they had a bunch of reindeer. Again, another animal I hadn't seen in person. And you could see them in the distance. They didn't come close to

us, but you could see them in the distance. Well, that's because that sleigh is such a bitch. Yeah, no, I mean, I could only see them far away because the one had the red nose. Yeah, right. It blinks. I mean, for sure. But it was interesting to be in a place where there was a definite and I don't know

many zoos, right? I only know the few zoos that are in here. But it felt like a definite shift from the things that we do here with zoos where there's sort of like this, you know, things are in cages, and they're in a small place, and you go to those places, and then you ogle at the creatures, and then you leave. And I know that there is some good science that happens at zoos,

but I know that, like, I also have seen the enclosures and thought to myself, God, that looks like, it looks really small. It looks like balls. It looks bad. It looks like it sucks bad it looks like it sucks it looks bad so it looks different it looks like a different sort of place i don't know though have you been to a lot of zoos uh i i don't know if i've been to a lot of zoos i've been to several zoos i kind of like the zoo yeah um i know there's a lot of controversy around zoos and they're and none of it is new you know around like you know is it is it really that humane And I think that probably that's a very fair criticism. I think though that like, there's a counter to that,

which is that giving people a connection to animals that they otherwise wouldn't have any connection to, probably encourages better conservation and better funding for conservation and better habits toward conservation as a whole. Maybe that one tiger is not better off, but maybe tigers as a whole are better off because people are able to... Yeah, because you know that they're endangered

or whatever. Yeah, it's not just a picture I saw. Yeah, it's not a picture or a movie you saw. It's a thing you saw in person. So I think there is some benefit to that. Yeah. I know that there's supposed to be amazing zoos in the States. I know that San Diego is supposed to have a really good one. That's the one everyone raves about yeah san diego have you been there no yeah everybody always says that that's the main one the zoo down down in st louis is actually really cool is it

good it's a good zoo is it it's a really cool zoo i i also heard that there's a couple in like uh in ohio that are supposed to be really good too oh yeah yeah but um but wait do you like the zoo i you know i haven't the only zoo that i ever visited was the free one that was in Chicago. Lincoln Park. And I would go there specifically if there was like lights or something happening in the park. And once in a while, we'd sort of wander through there. But we never visited on, I never went on purpose. It was always kind of ancillary to the things that we were doing.

Sure. So if we were in the area and there was something going on there, maybe we'd visit. But we never. We wouldn't go just for the zoo. We never woke up on. So if we were in the area and there was something going on there, maybe we'd visit, but we never- We wouldn't go just for the zoo. We never woke up on Saturday morning excited to go to the zoo. That never happened. But it was a really interesting experience

to be on vacation and visit that park though. Because that was a totally, it felt zoo-ish because you're walking through it in a path that's like a place where you can walk through it. Sure, and there's enclosures. And there's enclosures. So it felt

zoo-ish, but it felt very different too at the same time. That sounds really cool. Yeah, it was really interesting. That sounds really cool. I didn't have to pull a toilet paper roll off anything inside though. But you would have if you were there. And they would have too. They would have too. You know what was interesting too is that one of the guys was from Denmark

who was given the tour, and he was saying that their schooling there is three months of classes. And then he spends eight months at the zoo doing, at this place doing practical work with animals. And he's becoming a zoologist, but he spends three months in classes and then eight months working directly with the animals

as like a fellowship sort of worker. How does practical experience replace the mind-numbing tedium? You know, Tommy, you'd have to ask him. Yeah, that doesn't seem right. Okay, this story, I'm reading the whole thing. Yeah, this is the one we've been waiting for. I've been waiting all night. We've been waiting all night.

The story is from Fox 61. Poop spilled from semi-truck causes multiple crashes on I-95. So the police, shaky Stevenson Joseph, Poop spilled from semi-truck causes multiple crashes on I-95. Police. Shaky Stevenson Joseph. 34 of Waterbury was arrested and charged. First name Shaky. Who let's, who's like Cecil? Let me ask you really quickly before you start.

Okay. Is Shaky a first name or an honorific? Because it could be that that's his title. Oh yeah. What do you do to earn the title? Yeah. Like, I don't know.

Maybe you have to be a cocaine shark. Hey, if you're yourself more than three times, you're just playing with you. Cecil, let's say you own a trucking company. Oh yeah, sure.

You own a truck. You're the owner yeah, sure. You own a truck. You're the owner of the trucking company. I am the dispatcher and the owner. Sure. We have a load of poop. Poop. Needs to be driven around for whatever. Sure.

No, yeah. Poop transportation. Absolutely. Poop transportation is a big industry. Who are you giving that driving assignment to? Can you give me a name? It's not going to be the Poopsmith. It's definitely going to be Shaky Stevenson.

Who hands the keys to a poop truck to a guy named Shaky? Are you fucking serious? This is the greatest story in the history of mankind. This is, again, a reason to believe we're in a simulation. Yes. This is it. All right, so here we go. Bridgeport, Connecticut.

A Waterbury man was arrested for spilling poop. And I love, too, it's not feces. Oh, I love that it's poop. They're just calling it poop. I love that it's poop. This is so good. From a semi-truck on I-95 northbound and causing multiple car crashes due to the slick roadways. People are driving around on a slip and slide of shit.

There's a lot of skid marks. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's it. That's the show, guys. At around 10.33, at around 10.33. Not at around 10.30, but at around 10.33. I was going to look at my watch, but I don't give a shit. Yeah.

This reporting is crap. On Monday, Connecticut State Police Troop G was called to the area between exit 27 and exit 30. Troop G that's like a poop patrol? What is happening here? On I-85 North, Brown and Bridgeport, for reports of a large semi-truck spilling an unknown substance onto the roadway from the trailer, the tractor trailer did not stop and exited the highway onto the local streets. Well, I mean, if it was going fast,

it would definitely be the express. I've had that. You drink enough coffee, it's all express. Police said multiple car crashes. Do you think when he got pulled over, he's like, I had to stop, I had diarrhea. I had to keep going, I had diarrhea. Police said multiple car crashes were reported in the area due to the slick roadway two connecticut state police

cruisers were also involved in different car crashes as a result of the slick roadway could you imagine getting a real crash and then you get out and you step in like an inch of poop and you're just like this is a shit where am i am I, New York? What is happening? Following an investigation, the driver of the tractor trailer was identified as Shaky Stevenson Joseph. Yes! Shaky! Yes! Shaky Joe. Yes! Shaky Joe. Literally Shaky Joe. Shaky Joe

was driving. 34 of Waterbury, Joe was contacted by his employer to pull over his tractor trailer to the right shoulder. Who cares? Joseph was charged with violation of 12 counts of reckless endangerment of first degree, reckless driving, and operation of a motor vehicle

with an unsecured load. You win! You win, Fox 61! You win! That win, Fox 61. You win. That is the best line. Perfect. We do these every other week. That is a perfectly written line.

That's it. If this guy doesn't win the Pulitzer, I'm going to be pissed off. I'm so mad. There's no reason to have reporting anymore. That is the greatest line I've ever heard in my entire life. I'm going to have to cite your shit truck. It's the best line in the world. An unsecured...

Would it be awesome if he pulled over and he was like, look, I'm really sorry. I just thought it was a little bit of gas. I definitely shouldn't have trusted that. It's a shark truck. Could you imagine the cleanup and they just have a big pile of toilet paper they're just pushing down the street?

There's a couple guys on a big just giant wad of toilet paper that they're wiping. Suddenly the next guy behind him is with wet wipes. He's like wiping it up. It could have been way worse if a Charmin truck hadn't crashed right behind it, you know? There's like a roving bidet truck that's just shooting the water, spraying the water off. There's a power washer. Oh God.

I know we shouldn't have fucking put that thing on the squatty potty before we drove away. So good, man. That's so fucking amazing. What a genius fucking article. God, so good. All right.

That's going to wrap it up for this week's funny edition. We'll be back on Monday. We, of course, encourage people to become patrons to get your feed, your podcast feed, commercial-free. You can become a patron at patreon.com slash dissonancepod

or dissonancepod.com and you can follow the link to Patreon there. We, of course, encourage everyone to become patrons to get that commercial-free podcast.com, and you can follow the link to Patreon there. We, of course, encourage everyone to become patrons to get that commercial-free podcast. All right, that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave it like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit.

Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing, water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch, late night info doc attainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox reflex, foot massage, death

and towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls Bigfoot, yeti, aliens Churches, mosques, and synagogues Temples, dragons, giant worms Atlantis, dolphins, truthers Birthers, witches, wizards Vaccine nuts

Shaman healers, evangelists Conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata Nonsense Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you. We'll see you next time.