Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 723: Trump as Speaker, Obama Deepfakes, Amish Outed by Phone Alarm

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

Show Notes

Today's show is brought to you by HelloFresh.com. Go to HelloFresh.com slash 50glory right now and you'll get 50% off and free shipping. All you have to do is enter the code word 50glory at HelloFresh.com slash 50glory. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording well in advance. From Glory Hole Studios in Chicago and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissonance.

Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there are no cyber-eccars. We're recording in advance because while this is playing,

I'm in New Orleans. You are in New Orleans. So I'm going to be heading down to New Orleans. This is my first time as a podcaster traveling for work. Not really. I'm actually traveling. My wife is traveling for work. She's going to be going to a conference down there.

And I am going to be taking a cooking class. I signed up for it. Are you really? Yeah. So there's a cooking class down there. That's a day. It's a couple hour cooking class. You make a couple of things.

I already know how to make bananas foster, but they're going to teach you how to probably do bananas foster. I'd be interested to see how someone else makes it. Is it run by the Cajun chef? A little wine for you. I hope so. A little wine for me. The food is going to almost certainly require a roux,

and that'll be fun to learn about the darker roux colors. So I'm interested to see sort of what that leads, what that, what that leads, but I am going to be taking a cooking class while I'm down there and, uh, I'll be visiting, I'll be basically down there while my wife is in a conference, but we decided to travel together, uh, to go down there. And I decided, well, I'd try to figure out some things to do while I'm down there. So I'm going to be doing a cooking class and you got the dinner and just sort of enjoy her time. We're going to take two days after the conference to sort of relax and enjoy our time down there too. That's cool. Good for you. But we'll be back this upcoming week with a new show, but this show is being recorded in advance when we recorded our

other show because I'm going to be gone for a little while. Well, and I think that that's perfectly fine because the news cycle runs so slow. Yeah, hardly anything happens. Also too, we're going to be talking a lot about Trump on this one because there's some funny shit that Trump did. Some really funny shit. Super hilarious. So just settle in. We're just going to entertain you. Yeah. Cheeseburger. Well done. Raw onion ketchup pickle. So the story surprised me when I read it.

Cecil comes from the Raw story. Trump furious at GOP lawmaker for ruining plan to inject reality TV drama into speaker race, according to a report. So, as you are all aware, and I'm sure this has not been resolved by the time you get this. I can't imagine that. You know what?

I am not sure that it will be resolved by the time this plays. I'm actually fairly certain it won't be resolved. I will bet you lunch somewhere at some point that we do not have a speaker. Okay, I will be team Republicans can figure some point that we do not have a speaker. Okay. I will be, I will be team. Republicans can figure it out before this airs for now. Is this airing for patrons or airing for the wide audience? Airing for the wide audience.

So you're willing to even go as far as airing for the wide audience. So this is like the 20th of October. Yeah. We are like eight days. You're saying they're not going to fix this. I don't think they'll have a speaker in eight days. Yeah. I don't think they'll have a speaker in eight days. So, uh, but they're this, this is, uh, Trump said, well, you know, 23rd. No, it's more. It's like 10 days. Fine. You're okay with that. All right. Okay. All right. All right. So evidently Trump

had a fucking cockamamie plan to go to Washington and to run for speaker of the house. Well, he was going to be, they had already suggested a couple times, and he had already been questioned about this, by reporters that said, they might elect you or nominate you as Speaker of the House. How would you deal with it? And so he's already talked about this. Right. And then- But he was going to actually fly to Washington. He was going to fly to Washington to, again, sort of into this, this drama that does not include him. Right. And that's the most important piece of this

is that whenever there's drama that doesn't include him, he wants it to include it. Right. And he absolutely cannot be speaker. He cannot, he's, he's got felony indictments. You cannot be under indictment for felonies and still be speaker of the House. You can't. But, like, you don't have to be a congressperson. So, but all of this was just for him to go and then to, like, be there and then at the last minute to then endorse his guy. Yeah. In order for him, like you said, to have his, like, limelight moment. This strikes me as a great limelight moment, though, because can you imagine if he flies to Washington? Because I can totally see this happening right now.

It's so dysfunctional. Fly to Washington, do his little like, and behind this curtain. And then it's deal or no deal. Yeah. And then he endorses a knucklehead. And then that knucklehead fails the vote. Oh, God, that's perfect. And that's what would have happened, too, because as it stands right now, he was going to throw his support behind Jim Jordan.

Right. And one of the guys who was in there, the line in this is really funny, like the way they say it. So it says, Republican Troy Nils, or Nils, Nils, I don't know how to say his name. I'm going to say Nels, apparently didn't follow the instruction

because he wanted to keep it quiet. He wanted to keep this whole thing quiet. Whatever you do, don't tell anybody that I'm going to do the big reveal. I'm going to do this over here, distract you for a second, and then I'm going to do the big reveal. The prestige.

By the way. And so what he said was, apparently he didn't follow instruction and let the cat out of the bag on Wednesday. So on Wednesday night at 9.32 on Twitter, they say X here, but it's Twitter. I will not do that. Saying that he just spoke to Trump

and he planned to endorse Jordan. And then here's a quote from Trump. This is what his advisor said. Niels totally fucked this up, end quote. And he said, Niels has all the patience of a dog waiting to be let out of a car. That's a great line. End quote, And he said, Neal's has all the patience of a dog waiting to be let out of a car.

That's a great line. End quote, the Republican said. He said that he was pissed. He was pissed at Neal's because he wound up fucking letting the cat out of the bag

and basically saying, hey, and multiple people said Trump was annoyed by this. He wanted to do, look at me, look at me, look at me.

I now, I will now coronate you. I will now set the, I'm the king maker. I'm the one who makes these decisions. And he was upstaged. Not really just somebody just took away his moment of drama and it pissed him off. Yeah. And now he's left with nothing but a fucking Twitter endorsement, which means nothing's nothing. And it turns out it means nothing to everybody in there because they didn't even pick that guy. They picked the guy who was David Duke with us baggage. So let's talk about that too. Trump's hold on the party is fucking slipping even among his maggots. Yeah. So he, cause all these guys are all straight maggots like Jim Jordan, but so is Steve Scalise. Steve Scalise is a hardcore fucking maggot.

And he didn't endorse Scalise. Right. But Scalise got more votes. Right. So I think it's really telling that Trump's hold over even the sort of maggot faithful is beginning to slip. Because before, in times gone by, if Trump had said, it's Jim Jordan, all the MAGA guys would have lined up behind Jim Jordan.

But now they're like, whatever, man. MAGA is its own thing. And I really think that's what's starting to happen. There's the Republican Party, and then there's the MAGA Party, and then within MAGA, there's Trump loyalists. There's Trump loyalists and non-Trump loyalists. MAGA is now its own thing

outside of Trump. He does not have control of either the Republican Party or the MAGA conting now its own thing outside of Trump. He does not have control of either the Republican Party or the MAGA contingent. And he very much doesn't have control of the Republican Party because we've seen multiple people that he's endorsed fail. Oh yeah. And that's happened multiple times. And you could see it's really eating at him

that the people he's endorsing aren't winning and the people he's endorsing, people aren't paying attention to him endorsing them. Absolutely. That makes him very upset. Someone today, I read an article today that said the best way to beat Trump is to keep pointing out he's dumb and that he's not in control. If you can do both of those things, then Trump gets madder and madder. And they're saying he's very much madder and madder now because he's not in control of the things that are happening to him. And he's very upset by that. And if you keep pointing that out, that eats at him. It does. It does. And he's more liable to

make more stupid mistakes because we make mistakes when we're angry. One other side benefit of getting this angry is that when you're really, really angry, your blood pressure goes up. I'm just saying. No. These are biological truths. And his blood pressure might be low. We have no idea. We don't know where his blood pressure is. Your blood pressure goes up. His blood pressure could be low. Maybe it needs to be higher. It's a lot of strain on the heart.

Maybe it needs to be higher. Sometimes people count golf as exercise, but then other people know it's not. If they're upset. Right. You know what I mean? That happens. You can't cure everything with hamburgers.

That's just, you know. You can cure a lot with a hamburger, Tom. I just said everything. I didn't say nothing. You can cure a lot. You can cure a lot. You can cure a lot with a hamburger. I've cured just said everything. I didn't say nothing. You can cure a lot. You can cure a lot. You can cure a lot with a hamburger. I've cured a lot of problems with a hamburger.

That's for sure. I'm just saying, there's not a lot of downside in getting Trump real, real mad. There was when he had like nuclear codes. I will say, I actually like my own homemade hamburgers better than I like any restaurant hamburger. Any restaurant. Yeah. And you're going to start liking your meals better than any restaurant when you start using HelloFresh. Hi, I'm Ian.

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I like fast food, right? I like fast food hamburgers over like getting one at like a pub or whatever. Okay, so that's, so I like a smash burger. Yeah. Smash burger as a hamburger type

is a wonderful hamburger type. When you make a burger at home, do you make a smash burger? Yes, I make, yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Delicious way to make a burger. It's an outstanding way

to make a burger. Outstanding. It's an outstanding way to make a burger. And it makes, I have a recipe on our, on my, so it's literally, and it's an excellent,

what I did was I wanted to try to recreate like what a Big Mac might taste like if you did it right. And so I made two smash burgers, the good cheese on there. Well, you had to use Stiles and Island, you don't have the secret sauce. Yeah, I made my own sauce. It's my own secret sauce.

It's special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles. I didn't use the pickles, but. Is it special sauce? Oh, this is special sauce in the rhyme. Yeah, it own secret sauce. It's special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles. I didn't use the pickles, but. Is it special sauce? Oh, this is special sauce in the rye. I mean, yeah, it's special sauce. Yeah, it's not secret sauce. I got the whole thing. Yes, but I put the pickles in the sauce.

So I chop up pickles very fine and I put them in my sauce. So instead of putting pickles on the burger, I chop them up and put them on the, and it actually permeates. A good pickle will permeate the burger, I chop them up giant and put them on the, and it actually permeates. A good pickle will permeate the entire, and I use pickle juice or vinegar as the kick inside of that too. So it's a little sour flavor

and then the amazing burger flavor, which is, you know, beefy and juicy and delicious. And so. So do you like the big, thick patty burger at all? Not really. Not a huge fan.

I mean, it depends on the place. And lots of times, the thing is too, I don't trust places. So I almost always get it medium well. So I don't go out and get like a medium rare burger. No, you can't.

Because I won't do it unless I make it. Yeah. And that again is, if I'm going to make it at home, it's going to be a better burger because it's going to be cooked better than I can get it out somewhere.

I won't order a medium. I'll order maybe, I think the lowest I'll go is medium somewhere. Yeah. If I'm out, like I won't even make my own, like if I make my own burger at home and I'm going to do anything other than like medium well, I'm going to grind my own meat. That's what I'm saying. I would grind myself. Cause I would not like buy ground meat. I won't buy ground meat. And I won't even get it from the butcher and have them grind it. I will grind it myself and then cook it to 135 and be like, okay with that.

I'll be okay with it because I ground it myself. I know what was in it. But I won't do it any other way. And that's the thing is, I won't go to a restaurant and order it that way. So I just don't trust it.

I just don't want to get sick off of E. coli at a restaurant where that's a possibility. But the smash burger is the perfect way to make a burger. Smash burger is a well-done burger. And so there's no way to, you're not going to fuck it up. And it's going to taste good still too. Unlike McDonald's.

I don't like McDonald's. You don't like McDonald's? No, their burgers, like I like McDonald's McChicken. Yeah. Their McChicken is fine. I don't get the lettuce or the rest. I just get pickles on it. It's a chicken, yeah.

So yeah, that's fine. Like the rest of McDonald's, like I could just, I don't know. I hate it when I go to like Wendy's and I just get pickles on it. It's a chicken, yeah. So yeah, that's fine. Like the rest of McDonald's, like I could just, I don't know. I hate it when I go to like Wendy's and I order their spicy chicken sandwich and I almost, like I used to say light mayo

and I just stopped, I just completely stopped. I'm like, just no mayo. Because they don't have a light touch. Because these guys, they will take a fucking caulking gun full of mayo.

Yeah. And I've asked for light mayo and I've picked it up and there is just like a fucking giant bukkake cum shot of mayo hanging out the side. And I'm like for light mayo and I've picked it up and there is just like a fucking giant bukkake cum shot of mayo hanging out the side. And I'm like, what is happening, man? I asked for light mayo.

And it's probably just somebody who's pissed off. They don't want to work there. And they're like, fuck your face. Here's a bunch of mayo for this asshole. But I always hate that. I'm like, man, there's so much mayo. It's like literally just like, it's like an oil burger. And I'm like, I don't want that at all.

So I just actually say no toppings on it almost all the time now. Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich is the best thing on that menu. It is genuinely outstanding. It is the best thing on that menu. It's so good. Although I will say the Wendy's double stack.

They're good. That's a decent burger. It's a solid burger. I think the Wendy's has a good burger. It's interesting. There's a guy who I follow on YouTube is Iron Chef. He's an old Iron Chef. Okay.

And his son takes him places because he's a chef. And so he doesn't eat these places. And his son is like, we're going to go try all these fast food joints. And so he buys his dad a food and his dad sits down and his dad reacts to eating this food. Oh, that's cool. And this is a real chef,

like a genuine high-end, world-class chef who's eating this stuff. And he's also not, I think he's clearly not from America. He speaks English very well, but I don't think he was born here. And so he doesn't have the fast food culture that we have. So he's just eating these things that you wouldn't expect.

And one of the things he really loved was the Baconator. He laughed his ass off when he said, it's like a Terminator, but with bacon. And he couldn't stop laughing. He thought it was amazing. But he tried it. He's like, this is a good burger. He's like, this is an excellent burger.

He's like, out of the things we've tried, he's like, this one is outstanding. I don't know that I've had a Baconator. Yeah, it's evidently a giant. And he also, they went to Chick-fil-A and he really liked their fries because they were waffle cut. And I was like, this guy knows his fries.

Waffle cut fries. This guy knows his fries. That's legit. I'll tell you what. That's legit. That's the way to cut them. I would love to eat his cookies with some fava beans

and a nice chilled fresca. Tom, we got to talk. Now that we're talking about food, let's talk about Hannibal Lecter. By the way, by the way, if you're looking for a show that doesn't make any sense at all

because the Hannibal Lecter stories make no sense, right? Like the Hannibal Lecter stories in themselves, except for Silence of the Lambs. Silence of the Lambs is good. Yeah. I think the rest of them are all just like, like they're trying to make it as crazy as they can to make this guy as like mighty old man as they can to like kill people

and be able to cut their brains open while they're talking. This is the dumbest shit you've ever seen, right? All the Hannibal stuff. It's insane. But the Hannibal stuff, the Hannibal TV show with Mads Mikkelsen, his name is or whatever. Okay. The food in there, I don't care what it's made out of. I don't care if it's person, I'm there. You can't get me off that. It looks so good. The food this guy makes looks that they really went out of their way with the food photography in that series. The series itself is just, I mean,

this is everything you expect out of a Hannibal Lecter. Sure. So it's nonsense. So it's nonsense and it's dumb and it's a cop drama. That's not, I mean, it's just, it's just Hannibal Lecter winning all the time.

It's really, you know, it's, it's what you expect of it. Sure. So it's, it's the plot isn't great, but the food photography

in it is seriously the best I've ever seen in anything. Really? It's so freaking good. Wow. In anything I can remember, the food looked the best

in this than I've ever seen anywhere else. See, now I kind of want to watch it, but then I'd have to watch it. Yeah. You know? I think maybe,

I think maybe you might be able to find on like YouTube some of the clips. Somebody just clipping it out? Look, here's the thing. I hope that I'm never murdered. But if I am murdered, and somebody treats my body

with that much care... With that much care and respect that Hannibal treated... It's more care and respect I've ever given my body myself. I don't even give myself that kind of self-care. Are you kidding me?

I never cared for a single organ in my body as nicely as he did. So, Tom, I want to play this for you. Since we're talking did. So, Tom, I want to play this for you. This is, since we're talking about Hannibal Lecter, I want to play this for you. This is Trump on Hannibal Lecter. Here we go. We're going to play it. Why?

Because that's a vicious thing. I said that silence of the lamb. You know what that is? Has anybody seen silence of the lamb? Hannibal Lecter. How great an actor was he? You know why I like him? Because he said on television on one of the I love Donald Trump.

So I love him. I love him. I love him. He said that a long time ago. And once he said that, he was in my camp. I was in his camp. I don't care if he was the worst actor. I'd say he was great to me. Why? So there's actually so much there. So, first off, they actually go out of their way to check with Mads Mikkelsen and Brian Cox,

both played Hannibal. They think Trump's a fucking asshole and so full of shit. And then Hopkins, who was born in Wales and later became a naturalized U.S. citizen, told The Guardian that he doesn't care for Trump and explained that he doesn't vote because he doesn't trust anyone. Yeah. So here's what's great, is that he refers to the actor as Hannibal Lecter, not Anthony Hopkins.

Right? So you don't know who he's talking about. Right. It could be many different actors. There's no actor named Hannibal Lecter. So, okay, fine. Like, you're already a fucking idiot. Then you made up a story about how that guy loves you.

And then you painted yourself as, like, this insane megalomaniac where, like, the reason you love other people is because they loved you first. And the reason you like and pledge loyalty to other people is because they have pledged loyalty to you. You're a crazy person. He actually comes across sounding so insecure. This is the height of insecure megalomania. What is crazy to me,

during this there's a scream from the audience about the guy said he liked me and somebody in the audience agrees and screams. So I don't know if you're paying close- No, I didn't notice that. So somewhere around here, I'm gonna play again. Because that's a vicious thing. I said that silence of the lamb.

You know what that is? Has anybody seen silence of the lambs? Hannibal Lecter. How great an actor was he? You know why I like him? Because he said on television on one of the, I love Donald Trump. So I love him.

I love him. I love him. It's those people. Like these people, you know, like, like you're saying you, uh,

you are like blown away that he's up in front of these people with his head so far up his own ass, narcissistically talking about himself. Right. Yeah. It's, but, but they're cheering because they're happy that he is, is only like someone cause they like, cause there's a quid pro quo of liking each other.

Like somebody sent a note, do you like me? Check yes or no. And Anthony Hopkins was like, yes, on TV. Also, like how weirdly name droppy and insecure. Like you are Donald Trump. Everybody, the world knows your name. And you're still like name dropping other

famous people like me. Yeah. This is some sleepover party stuff. This is so, hey, Derek, the coolest kid at school, he says I'm cool. It's the same thing. It's fucking the same thing. But I think

Donald Trump just loves to hear himself talk and he loves to talk about himself. And so, you know- But you're right. It's weird that the audience loves it. But the audience loves it too. The audience is in love with him, man. They're still in love with him

in a way that gets them to Yahoo when he says, somebody said they liked me. I could never love somebody who loved themselves that much. I only love people who kind of hate themselves a little bit, you know? Like, you know, they're just like, they look at themselves in the mirror and they're like, I could do better. I don't like me. That's what I'm attracted to. I don't like who I am.

Yeah, right. I want a little shame, you know? That's definitely me. I want, this is why we're good friends. That's definitely me. I want some shame in our game. Like, you know what? No. Right. Whatever's happening up there, you can do better than that. Yeah, just like, I wake up and I'm like, fuck, still me. I think I'm a good person. It's so funny too, because like, these people will hear him talk and they will just ooze all

over themselves to hear him like ogle at himself. It's so weird. Yeah. And it feels, I don't know, like it almost feels like you're getting in on a private moment where he's talking to himself, but he's up in front of everybody talking about himself. Yeah.

Like he's the guy in the fucking, in the skit from Saturday Night Live, you're good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you. Yeah. Watching him feels like catching people like you. Yeah, this fear, watching him feels like catching somebody masturbating. Yeah.

It's so awkward for me. It's awkward for me. You're like, oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, you're just like, oh,

I should have knocked. I should have knocked. I'm sorry. I apologize. It's okay. Put the sock back on, whatever. Like I got,

it's fucking weird. You just like, watching him jerk himself off in front of everybody and then everybody's like, woo. Yeah. Odd man. Gotta have them ribs. Just like watching him jerk himself off in front of everybody. And then everybody's like, whoo! Yeah. Odd man.

Gotta have them ribs. And pussy too. I got to play some of this, Tom, so people can hear it. Yeah, this is upsetting. I sent you this from the New York Times. AI Obama and fake newscasters, how AI audio is swarming TikTok. What is happening? Are we on dial-up? What's going on?

Here's probably Comcast. It's probably Comcast. I want to play a part of this. So this is from TikTok. Obama has reacted to Charisse Campbell blaming him for the death of her husband, Tafari Campbell. Here's what he had to say about it. I am deeply saddened by the tragic loss of Tafari Campbell, who was not just an employee, but a valued member of our extended family. So you can hear, I can hear that it's not his voice. It doesn't sound like him to me. It sounds deeper.

It sounds slower. Both of those things are pretty obvious to me. But one of the things that I thought was so interesting about this article was that they were saying, it's not about you picking out that this one's fake. It's about whether or not down the road, if you can pick out if the real one is fake because they were trying to trick you with this one. So you know this one's fake. You hear it and you're like, oh, they're trying to trick me with this. you know this one's fake.

You hear it and you're like, oh, they're trying to trick me with this. But when something comes out by a real person, that might be picked up on a hot mic or something on the side that might be, you might think later on, well, that's not real. Someone put that in.

Where before, when the ecosystem wasn't filled with these fakes, it was easier to know what was real and what was fake. And now you just don't know what's real and what's fake. And so you might take something that's real and pass it off as fake. It's not the opposite that's the danger. It's the other.

Yeah, and I think the worry broadly is that this shit obfuscates the truth. And it doesn't matter like whether it obfuscates it by telling you that untrue things are true or if it obfuscates the truth. And it doesn't matter whether it obfuscates it by telling you that untrue things are true or if it obfuscates it by telling you that true things are untrue. The problem is it obfuscates truth. It stands as a barrier between us and reality and tells us that that's fun or that that's something we should have just at our ready disposal. And I find that like kind of a fucked up thing that we're all just kind of in a weird place of being like, well, we just accept that

these tools should exist without regulation or any kind of governors on any of these tools. It's like with AI, one of the problems is that close enough is perfect because people are not consuming media as careful readers. We are consuming enormous amounts of media from so many different places. And most of it, if we're not consuming it intentionally, just makes its way sideways into our sort of consciousness. And like, yeah, like, can I do the work of making sure that this story is real

and that thing is true and I can hear the resonant changes and the slower voice? Yeah, I can. But like, if I'm just fucking around on my phone late at night, scrolling and doom scrolling and like chatting and there's a TV on in the background

and that's how a lot of people consume a lot of media, close enough is perfect in those circumstances. And that is real fucking upsetting. Like with this situation in Israel, all kinds of videos were floated out there. Now, these weren't AI videos, but there was a ton of videos that were floated out there that were repurposed from other events and they were just re-tagged. And it's kind of the same thing, right? Like we're getting ourselves real comfortable with tools that stand in the way of truth and that obfuscate reality. And then we're just asking the consumer

to be this like hypervigilant consumer of information, but we know that that's not going to work. Like putting it on the consumer is grotesque and unfair. It's sort of like selling poisoned meat and being like, well, buyer beware, cook it until it's 165. And if you make a mistake, your whole family dies. And you're like, well, okay, that's one option. A better option would be to not sell me poisoned meat. You know, to like nip this in the bud at the beginning, rather than putting all of the onus on the consumer. I don't understand

why there are not more voices saying that this onus should not be on the consumer. Yeah. And to be honest, these companies that are creating these tools that make it easy for everyone to do are small companies. They were talking about this company has 22 employees. 22 employees. One little tiny company that is one of the largest companies out there that allows people to upload stuff to their server, upload voice samples to their server, and then their AI will create a voice.

We've done this with your voice. With my voice, yeah. So this has happened before. And one of their solutions was to try to make it so you have to pay. That's not completely a great solution. They're saying if you want to upload, you have to pay. That's one of their ways in which they were thinking about sort of limiting it. But even still, I keep feeling like what you need is there needs to be something that the human brain can't hear in there. There's plenty of frequencies that the human brain can't hear in there. There's plenty of frequencies that the

human brain can't hear. That has to be embedded in everything that's AI. So we just know that it's there. So we just know for sure. It's like a digital watermark. It's an audio watermark that human beings can't hear. Put it at a level that there's no way human beings can pick it up. And then there's no, like, and make it so it's harder to filter out than just, like, one line of whatever it is. You can't just put a signal in at 21,000 hertz and be like, beep. But I feel like there's a way to set it up

so that you can't, there's got to be some way to set it up so that they can't pull it out. Or make it a very, very big crime if you do, and make it so that no matter what, anybody who runs that through one of these things, you can just check and your phone would automatically know because there's that signal in there. Right.

It knows it's fake. You were talking about last time you were talking about using no matter what, anything that gets digitally altered, put a watermark in there. This would be the same thing. Right. You'd basically audio watermark it so there's no way that anybody could pass this off as real. Everyone would know at all times

what's real and what's not. Also, like, I just genuinely don't know why you need to play in this stuff. Like, at a certain point, there's a creepiness factor to it, right? Like, you know, the deepfake stuff,

look at what they're doing with deepfakes. They're making deepfake pornography with it. I know. So they're taking people who are not consenting to being in pornography and putting them and masking their face

over other people who have consented to be in pornography. And then they look like they're in pornography. This happens with faces now. And so how soon before that's done with whole bodies?

How soon before it's- How soon before someone can say something that you would never hear them say, right? A while back when we were playing with AI, we wanted to make a funny story about Pat Robertson kissing somebody else and they wouldn't do it, right? It wouldn't do it. But how easy it would be to make something that somebody totally doesn't agree with, how easy it would be to make something that somebody totally doesn't agree with, have them say it out loud through AI.

And how much is that an invasion privacy of them? Like, where do we, we need to start thinking about these things because we can't just wait till it happens and then try to legislate afterwards. We need to think about it and then think about what's coming too. Yeah, and I guess like,

I'm not sure why we want these companies to exist for regular consumers. I just don't know that these companies should—I mean, like, not everything is available to the consumer, right? There are lots of tools, weapons, things that you just as a regular Joe can't buy. There's chemicals I can't buy, right? Like, I can't just, like, call a chemical supply warehouse and just get whatever I want because some shit is dangerous. So like some of this shit is just dangerous.

Maybe this shouldn't just be available to just random people who log onto a website. If we don't, I mean, there's so many nefarious uses, like the pornography thing. We talked about this when AI first came out. Of course that's happening. And the thing is like, there's going to be people who are going to say, well, it's not real. Real doesn't matter. That's the thing that we all have to kind of get over,

is that what is real doesn't matter as much as what is perceived to be real. Pornography with your imagery on it, even if you never did it, can still ruin your reputation. It can still hurt you at your job. It can still shame and humiliate you. So it's real in all the ways that matter. If those are things that can happen as a result of these things, you can be like, that's not me. That's not me.

That's not me. That's not me all you want. But like absolutely could shit like that damage relationships, damage professional. It could. So it's real enough. It's real in its effects. We know, like, if you can, like, make voices and make images of people doing and saying things, you could get people fired from jobs.

You could undermine trust in relationships. You could make the world harder to live in, in like kind of every meaningful way. Because either we won't trust anything that we see in here. Yeah, that's the problem, right? And then you won't know what's true at all. Yeah. So that sucks. Or you'll try to do this like fucking filtering job that you'll never be as good as the machines.

We just won't be. We'll catch some stuff. We won't catch other stuff. None of this onus should be here. None of this onus should be on me and you. All of this onus should be like on the regulators who are saying, hey, that tool should just probably not be a mass market tool. When I was a kid, when you were a kid, when we read books, science fiction books about artificial intelligence, my guy, it never occurred to me that it would just be a website anybody could go to for fucking free. You know, I thought it would

be like in the hands of people who like scientists and shit, you know, would have access to artificial intelligence. Not just like random schmucks playing around on their laptop or dicking around even on an app on their phone in dicking around even on an app on their phone in their pocket. I never in a million years would have imagined it. And it's not good. It's not good. This article has, it does mention that a bunch of,

a bunch of these like platforms are trying to find ways to mark and notate when these things are being altered. And I think that's good. But one of the problems it brings up is like, yeah, like it's fine if it like, let's say YouTube. I think YouTube has a system to try to find this stuff. Let's say YouTube has it. Well, that's cool.

But if you get an audio podcast, you're not watching it. So it's just sounds. And like, you can just record a sound with another recorder and then upload it. Like there's too many ways around it. I really think that at some point we have to decide whether or not we want to live in a world awash in it in the first place. Because trying to chase it seems- Chasing it is terrible. I think we need to get ahead of it now. I think you need to get ahead of it now. I don't think it's going away. First off, it's not going away. So get it out of your

mind that this is going away. Because it's not going away. So get it out of your mind that this is going away because it's not going away. We're not going to not, we're not going to regulate it like you want to regulate. That's not going to happen. But you can get ahead of it. You can at least get ahead of it

and say, okay, well, here's how we're going to have to look at it in the future. Here's the safeguards we're going to need to put in place to make sure that it's a usable tool.

Because if we don't, we're going to be in this really, really bad place where you don't know if anything's really, you're stuck in a, you are, really bad place where you don't know if anything's real. You're stuck in a, you, you are in the fog. You're in the allegory of the cave.

I'm sure what's fucking a, a fucking shadow on the wall or a real thing. And I think some of this stuff needs to be felonious. Like certain types of creation with this stuff should just be like, yeah, you found a way around it. That's a felony. It's not my phone. It's in your pocket. This story comes from The Independent

and it's great. Amish men shunned after nationwide emergency alert outs them for having phones. So there's evidently

this last couple weeks ago we talked about it on the show when they were talking about the 5G activation virus in your body

or whatever and they sent out a FEMA alert to everybody and no no matter what, if it was silent or not, didn't matter, your phone went off. Everybody's phone went off because there was basically like a weather alert. Happens with weather alerts too in your area. But this is a nationwide thing. And it hit the Amish community because several of these Amish people, they have phones. They are not supposed to, but they get phones. And then what happens is,

is they get shunned. And shunned is, you can like be here, but we don't talk to you, interact with you, or like feed you or house you. It's like a terrible situation to be in in these Amish communities when you get shunned.

Yeah, well, it's because like Amish, the Amish community is a weird, abusive cult that we've all decided is cute because they go to the craft fair. And because they make furniture and stuff. Yeah. And they don't have mustaches.

Yeah, it is, but it is genuinely, it's a weird, look, there is a genetic disease that exists only amongst the Amish community because they're inbred.

Because they have, because they do not have a wide genetic pool. The Amish people, this is a cult. Like, this is a cult. Can I join the Amish community because they're inbred. Because they have, because they do not have a wide genetic pool. The Amish people, this is a cult. Like, this is a cult. Can I join the Amish, you think?

I don't know that they're taking, I can't fill out an application. I don't know that you can convert to Amishness. Can I do, do they have an app? Can I download that app? Evidently, you can.

Evidently, it's the Amish app. The barn raising app. Yeah. That's amazing. You press the button for it to start and a little buggy runs across your phone. Sort of slowly across your phone. I do like this TikToker because he has,

when people- You have to button all your files. You can't zip them. You can't even teach them to drive because they can't work the zipper. They can't work the zipper at the same time. It's impossible. Yeah. They can't even teach him to drive because he can't work the zipper. They can't work the zipper at the same time. No, it's impossible. Yeah, they can't merge. But I like this TikToker because he's a former Amish guy.

And so Amish people reach out to him. They're like, they want a cell phone. He basically smuggles these people. He smuggles. He's like a contraband guy. Also, I want to show a picture of this guy because this guy might have left the Amish, but the Amish sure as fuck haven't left him. Look at this guy.

Look at this guy. He's doing the whole Amish thing. Except for his neck strap. He's like five o'clock shadow Amish guy. He is. He's not full on like Abe Lincoln Amish guy. The Amish neck strap beard looks like they're like, they should like have like a helmet

that it ties into at the top. I always thought Abe Lincoln looked weird with it too. I don't know why. It just looks weird to me. It's a weird fashion choice. It's a very, it ties into at the top. I always thought Abe Lincoln looked weird with it too. I don't know why. It just looks weird to me. It's a weird fashion choice. It's a very, it's a very, I'm not shitting on your beard.

If you look like an Amish person, I'm not shitting on your beard. I'm sure you look beautiful. This guy though, looks a little, all beards are beautiful. All beards are beautiful. Even Mike Pence.

All right, here we go. No, no, he's a beard. Oh, he is a beard. Guess what?

I just got a couple of my Amish buddies shunned today by the Amish church. No, he's a beard. Oh, he is a beard. Guess what? Just got a couple of my Amish buddies shunned today by the Amish church. That's right. This right here. Nationwide test alert is on the screen now. Over the years, there's been quite a few Amish men that reached out and wanted phones. So whenever they request to have a phone, I'll do everything I can to try to get them a phone. Not always can I do so, but in some circumstances, I have been able to get them a phone.

Now, three of them replied back to me today and said, hey, I'm going to have to lay low for a while. I just got shunned. And I said, how did that happen? They said, hey, that emergency alert that went off. Yeah, we had our phones vibrating and it still went off. on vibrate and it still went off. The one guy said the elders were coming in his driveway and they were there to speak with him about

something that they heard about him that he might have to get shunned, you know. They got to check up on it to see if it's true. Right when that was going on, the alert went off and he was in his pocket. Now he's getting shunned for most. And also the cell phone. I love that he's laughing.

He's laughing at him. He's cackling. Oh, that's brutal. Cackling. Yeah, so evidently like you can't smuggle a phone into the Amish community anymore.

You know, it's like you also can't smuggle phones into prison. You know, I'm trying to think of where else in America you have to smuggle a phone. Yeah, in prison you got to stick it in your prison pocket.

Here, you just slide it up in your beard. In your beard, yeah. In your beard, you neck strap it up in there. I wonder, too, what other technology that they want or go. Do you think maybe some of them back before there were phones, I wonder if some of them had iPods? Oh, I bet they did. I bet they did. I know that there's been like a whole bunch of like cases of people.

I've even seen, I don't know how true it is. So forgive me if I'm just like passing on bullshit. But like I've even seen pictures of people like kind of like pimping their buggies. These folks still live in the world. And they're still exposed to the world. So they go into town for this errand and that errand and a lot of them will have a phone at the end of the driveway so they can like call for help and oh yeah so really yeah they don't actually shun phones they don't they don't like a regular

landline phone they have them for years they have them there but they you know only use they won't put them in the house they have them out of the house you have to like go out of your house okay so it's not a distraction from your obligation to family or whatever. That's the thing I've been saying for years. The Amish are fucking nuts. You're a liar. You still use the same stuff. You just don't use it as much and so you want to feel superior

or whatever you're doing. This is like classic cult abuse where you control people's access to the outside world. That's, I think, the biggest part of that. You know, couch in whatever language you want, but that's what it's about. Wasn't there like a reality show about Amish people?

Oh, yeah. I watched the whole thing. Did you? Oh, yeah. My wife watched a couple episodes of that, but I can't remember what it was. Was it like growing up Amish or something? I don't know. Yeah, it was like leaving the Amish.

I don't fucking know. But it was like, I've watched a documentary about kids that go on rum shenanigans. I saw that one. And I also listened to A This American Life about it too. Because that's what turned me on to the documentary. Okay.

And then, yeah, there was like a reality show where they followed people who had left the Amish. I got to find out what it's called. It's going to bother me

until I know. Breaking Amish. Breaking Amish, it was called. Eli did a goofy reality TV show for Citation Needed this last week or two weeks ago, I guess now that this is airing. But there was a Breaking Amish TV show, four seasons of that. Four seasons.

In 2012 was when it started. Yeah, I don't know if I watched all of them, but I did watch several of them. I remember thinking it was really interesting. Like a lot of, you know, the folks coming out of the Amish cult, they are not educated at all. So they don't have any like life skills typically that translate into the broader world.

They often don't have good medical care either or good dental care. So like one of the first things they have to do is like actually get like dental repair and other medical treatments that they've not had access to. But you have a much deeper, darker wedgie on your soul. So this story comes from KTVZ.

Couple suing Disney World claims water slide caused painful wedgie, severe injury. Something of a fucking understatement. Yeah, and Tom and I were talking about this before we recorded. Both of us, when we saw the title, we're like, ha ha ha. And then you read it and you're like, that's not funny. No, this is not funny. It's crazy. And it feels to me, it rings of the same like, you know, woman sues McDonald's because coffee was too hot. And then you like learn about that story. And it's actually like, actually that coffee was too hot. And then you like learn about that story and it's actually like, actually that coffee was boiling and that poor woman was severely injured.

She wasn't just like, my coffee's hot, I want some money. Like she was severely injured by dangerous, dangerous coffee. This water slide, let me read to this here. This lawsuit, according to Disney, people plummet down a near vertical five-story drop.

Riders go without a raft or a tube. Riders can reach speeds approaching 40 miles an hour. And before they go down the slide, they're told to cross their legs at the ankles. The lawsuit said in this woman's case, when she went down the slide near the end, her body lifted up. She became airborne

and she was slammed downward against the slide, which increased the likelihood of her legs becoming uncrossed. The document said that her impact into the standing water at the bottom caused a painful wedgie and immediate bleeding. An ambulance took the woman to a hospital, and she was eventually taken to another hospital for a specialist. It continued on saying she suffered severe and permanent bodily injury

to her private area and damage to her internal organs. Jesus Christ, man. Holy shit. There are some water slides, though, that you look at and you're like, I'm not doing that.

Yes, 100%. There's some water slides that are just, and it's so crazy, too, because on a roller coaster, I'm strapped into the roller coaster. Yes.

And I am, the roller coaster is strapped into the fucking, the fucking rails. And it goes down the rails and it's got like wheels on both sides. And when I go around a turn and loop-de-loops and whatever, I'm like, I'm okay. I mean, all of this stuff is all connected.

Yeah. But even when you go on like the log rides, they're just like, well, we're dropping you off this big thing. I know. And then I've been on those before. We're in a hundred percent doesn't feel like it's on the water. You're like, I do not feel like I'm on the water right now. I feel like I am kind of just going straight down. And then you hit the water at the bottom and there's nothing to grab onto, nothing to hold onto, nothing keeping you in there.

And then also like these, some of these fucking water slides, they are now, you are completely vertical and there's a trap door that lets you. Have you seen these? No. What a fucking trap door? Like a fucking cylinder, like a fucking, like you're at the bank and they're going to send you inside in a teller tube. You stand in one of these things and then the floor drops out and then you shoot straight down in one of these things. No.

Yes. No. I would a thousand percent not do this. Is there a solar coaster at the bottom? I would not go on one of these things. No. Yes. No. I would a thousand percent not do this. Is there a solar lack at the bottom? I would not go on one of these. I love roller coasters, but there's, you know,

the difference is you pointed out like on a roller coaster, all the physics are known and controlled for. Yeah. Water adds a chaos element. It really does. It just does. Like for real, like,

like you can think like, yeah, I'll probably do this, but also sometimes a little kid gets his head pulled off. You know? Because that's a thing that happens. It is true, too. And there's genuinely, like, there's been some roller coasters, some of these water slides and stuff.

When you read about them, they're terrifying. Fucking nuts. The one in fucking Action Park, another citation he did, that was a loop-de-loop that they just, they tested by throwing like sandbags down that they put a dummy hat on. And people are like breaking fucking collarbones and smashing their faces on stuff. That's, no, that's just, that's just a hard pass. Like for real, you could, like,

when you get a roller coaster, just as a great analogy, when you get a roller coaster, the roller coaster, like, all the variables are controlled for. It's going to weigh between this and this. It's going to, like, only move in these directions on

these axes, etc. You get a fucking water slide, and it's like, well, people are shaped different. We can't really account for that. People are going to weigh... I feel I'm more buoyant than most people. Yeah, right? I feel like I'm more buoyant. I'm't really account for that. People are going to weigh... I feel I'm more buoyant than most people. Yeah, right?

I feel like I'm more buoyant. I'm a lot more buoyant. I will tell you a funny story about that. The first time I went swimming with my stepson, he was... He's filled out now,

but he was... Like, he's just a skin and bones kid. Like, he was one of those kids where, like, your elbow is the biggest part of your arm, your knee is the biggest part of your leg. And, like, the poor kid would get in the water and he would just like he would

just sink like he would paddle like a motherfucker and like the second he stopped moving his arms like you and i i'd be like oh no i could sleep yeah oh i could sleep i only come up every five minutes for air i'm the boat from the perfect storm I have a hole in my back and I just come right back up. You come out, you got squid in your mouth. It's perfect. Yeah, it's fine.

But that poor kid, he'd like, he'd swim and then he paused for like a fucking nanosecond and the water would just take him, just suck him under like, yeah, man, you gotta have a little, you gotta have some subcutaneous going on.

You know what I mean? You gotta have a little, you gotta have a little chonker going on, right?'t or you don't float very well yeah like i like how do you how do you make like a bag of like fucking metal sticks float you know it doesn't we're very working working class be honest i am being honest i am being honest. Be honest. I am being honest. What car did your dad drive you to school in? So my dad... No, one answer. My dad... What car was it?

All right, it's not a simple answer because... What car did you get your dad to drive you to school in? It depends. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, in the 80s, my dad had a Rolls Royce. Thank you. See, so this story is life for one line in it. So this story comes from CNN.

German museum employee swaps painting for fake and sells original to fund luxury lifestyle. And this didn't happen with just like one painting, like multiple paintings. But one thing I didn't understand in this is this person like has a Rolls Royce and a couple other things, but the painting's only sold for like 30 grand.

Yeah. Is it a used Rolls Royce and a couple other things, but the painting's only sold for like 30 grand. Yeah. Is it a used Rolls Royce? I mean, this better be, this is like, this is like a, somebody junked their Rolls Royce because I can't even imagine

you getting a used Rolls Royce for something that cheap. Man, like I've tried, I'm in the market for like a Honda Accord. Have you ever seen a Rolls Royce in person?

Yeah, a couple of times. Yeah, they're really beautiful cars. They are extraordinarily beautiful cars. They are extraordinarily beautiful cars. They are beautiful cars. I only saw one. I think I was at a car show.

You've never seen one in the wild? No, I've never seen one in the wild. I've seen a couple just in the wild. Wow. Just like in the wild. Because it's so distinctive with that hood ornament. Yeah. Like it just like, it just calls out.

That hood ornament just absolutely calls out. Yeah, they are gorgeous. Just like top. I've never looked inside one. It's a beautiful machine. Yeah. Like it's just like, but it's fucking, it's the system. It costs more than your house. Yeah, they are gorgeous. Just like top. I've never looked inside one. It's a beautiful machine. Yeah. It's just like, but it's fucking, it's the system. It costs more than your house.

Yeah, look, here, you got some guy working at your museum, right? You'd know what you pay that guy. You'd know what you pay that guy. He's around a ton of valuable shit. And then all of a sudden, he goes from driving like a Fiat to a Rolls. And you're not like, yeah, that seems legit. He's probably got one of these

side gigs. He's Ubering at night or something. Goddamn, DoorDash really pays. Holy shit. Can you imagine DoorDash shows up in your Rolls Royce? Your Rolls Royce just smells like other people's food all the time. Oh. Jesus Christ. You're definitely taking the resale value out of your Rolls Royce just smells like other people's food all the time. Jesus Christ. You're definitely taking the fucking,

you're taking the resale value out of your Rolls Royce. Although I imagine like a Rolls Royce probably has a little microwave in the back. You can get it back up. Oh, do a Rolls Royce Uber. If I ever become billionaire wealthy, every once in a while, I'm going to buy a Rolls and every once in a while,

Uber, just to surprise me. I won't even do the Uber fancy, whatever it's called. Oh, it'll just be like a regular, like Uber X. Yes.

Yeah. Whatever the cheap Uber is and just pull up in a Rolls just to give people a thrill. You are going to clean so much puke up out of your Rolls Royce. That's true.

I'm not doing that. That would be hilarious though. That would be a funny show actually. Yeah. To like have like funny cars show up for Ubers like really,

like a clown car shows up and they have to get in it. Oh my God. This would be so funny. This is a guy like you show up This show writes itself.

It's like a fucking fire engine. An ice cream truck. An ice cream truck. With a like a really creepy ice cream truck. We could have so much fun with this. Just thinking of all this stuff. Somebody shows up with a horse.

The Oscar Minor Weedermobile. An Somebody shows up with a horse. The Oscar Minor Weidermobile. An Amish guy with a phone. Buggy. Buggy. It's checked out, Buggy. And he like hooks the phone

to like a little holder on the horse's ass. We could do so much with this. We could do so much with this. Somebody fund this. Why don't we have this kind of billionaire money? You need a lot of money though

because you got a bunch of different vehicles. Yeah, but it would be really funny. People are, can you show up with like a guy pulling it? Like the rickshaw type pulling it? Yes.

That would be amazing. Have you ever, so in Chicago, they have bicycles that are like rickshaws. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That take you places, but they're not like the scam ones in, at least I don't think they are.

Like the ones in New York around like Central Park or whatever, you have to like really negotiate with them up front or they'll like gouge you, I guess. Oh, really? Like some scammy stuff goes on over there. Like Central Park, they always tell you to like

make sure you know exactly how much you're paying before you get in one of those because they'll like take you places and like it'll be so much money for you to spend because they like basically take you for a ride. So you have to like negotiate ahead of time. That's what I've heard. But the ones in Chicago, they run, they have guys who ride on these like bicycles and they have like a rickshaw behind them where there's like a seating area for people and they run to the Bears game. So these guys will stand where you park like a

mile away. They'll pick people up and they'll ride down the trails because these are walking trails to the Bears game and then come back and pick people up and then they drive them back and forth when the Bears get in and go out because the Bears stadium, it either costs like $700 to park there or it's like you park for $20

and you walk a mile and a half. Those are your two options. You don't have, you don't have more options than that. It's either the bears gouge you or you, you say these people split the difference and they pay this guy to drive them over there. And that's awesome.

Yeah. But I've seen those so many times while I was jogging down there. I just see him constantly driving through because these guys are trying to make a buck. So they're constantly pedaling as fast as they can back and forth. Dude, that'd be a workout. That's a fucking crazy workout. That'd be a workout.

These guys have like assisted whatever and they just pedal like crazy and get there. Oh, they got the e-bikes. I think they're probably e-bikes. But yeah, it looks like a lot of work.

Still a lot of work. All right, so there's a lot. So this guy. Oh yeah, we forgot about the Rolls Royce. We got off on a Rolls Royce. Got off on a Rolls Royce. So this guy is like

getting forgery paintings and swapping them out with the original. He's not using the forger lady like the lady who came and repainted that cathedral. I love the... That would be amazing if he brought in forgeries like that. If they looked like that. That would be amazing.

So his profit margin has to get eaten up with the cost of the forgery too. Yeah. So he's getting 30 grand, but he's not getting 30 grand. And he has to pay the auctioneer. That's true. Yeah. He's paying has to pay the auctioneer that's true yeah

he's paying a commission to the auctioneer where's the profit in this feels like a lot of work for not a lot of gain right and he gets to go to jail he had to find somebody

to like do a good forgery for this stuff also like these are like they're talking about these paintings in this thing and they name the painting so these paintings have names right

why is it that you don't look that painting up and say, oh, that that's in the museum down there. How did this guy get it and is selling it? Don't they, don't we know the provenance of these paintings and where they belong?

Thank you. Cause I thought that was a really big deal in the art world is to not just have like stolen. You have to vet that the painting is a legit painting and that you have a right to sell it. Yeah. So like the auctioneer is not vetting that the painting is legit. Yeah, this guy just basically went in.

He's like, yeah, my ma had it. Right. I'm selling it for my ma. Yeah, I found it in my attic. I got this at a garage sale. Yeah, I bought it. I bought a used Roll Royce and it was in the back. Someone hung up in the back seat.

But this won't happen again. And I'll tell you why this won't happen again and i'll tell you why this won't happen again i want to read this from the article because they they do say the deutsch museum meanwhile told cnn is making efforts to recover the paintings in an email spokesperson said the museum was seeking to have the sales reversed that one of the paintings is already in police possession that's good the spokesperson added that the area from which the paintings were stolen is basically sufficiently secure. We kind of locked it up. Basically sufficiently secure.

We sort of locked it. We got a lot of our paintings in the crapper at Mar-a-Lago. We may or may not require photo ID. What? Basically sufficiently secure. Where are we at?

Look, you can kind of get near stuff in the Louvre, but you can't get that close to it. We figure it's a fool us once sort of situation. So I was in, my wife and I,

we traveled to Vienna years ago. And over there, like over here, we're animals. So we, we have to have like seven feet between us and paintings. Right.

And there's like a line. And if you cross it, there's like, like immediately a guy will scream at you for like leaning over it or whatever. Well, over there, you can just like walk up to paintings and they have them wide open,

like right out in the open. So like wide open paintings, they do have some sort of sensors on them. So if somebody grabs them or whatever. And evidently they have proximity sensors because I was over there and there's nothing near them. So I was like leaning in and I got like this close to one of them

and I set the alarm. Oh, did you really? My nose was too close to it. The person, I pulled back and it immediately stopped and the lady's like, hey, don't get that close. And I was like, you bet. Sorry about that. I'm American.

I'm terrible. I'm a terrible person. I's like, hey, don't get that close. And I was like, you bet. Sorry about that. I'm American. I'm terrible. I'm a terrible person. I wanted to lick the painting. I was so close. Because it was a beautiful, it was one of these really realistic painters who just did amazing work. And I was just looking at like the lighting and it was just gorgeous. And I was like, wow, I want to like look. And I got a little too close.

And the lady's like, get away from me. I'm sorry. I'm American. I'm terrible. But you can get up right up on him. That's how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Rubens? I don't know. You know what would be good is if you hit kicked

and then you kind of did that and then a barrel turn and then ha, you know? That was good. That would be. That was really good. You a dancer? No. No, no, no.

Not a... I'm just drunk. Ah! Up against the vehicle right now, sir. You're going to jail. I love this. This guy's a... This is a great day.

This guy... This is a great day. Nothing's stopping this guy. This is from WKRN.com. Man riding farm vehicle arrested for second dui 17 minutes after release from first dui arrest this dude's not a fucking 1974 international harvester a night this this fucking thing is older than i am he is in a goddamn piece of farm equipment that is like 49 years old. He fucking bumps somebody in their car.

The person chases him down like honking like, hey, man, you hit me with a fucking half a century old fucking harvester. Leave me alone. They get in like a thing. The guy gets arrested for a DUI. They bring him downtown. They book him. They let him go. He gets back in his thing. The guy gets arrested for a DUI. They bring him downtown. They book him. They let him go. He gets back in his thing.

Well, cause he had to park it somewhere. Somebody had to take it home. Fucking guy is still drunk. You don't hold him till he's sobered up. It's so weird. I, I can't tell you the number of times though,

as a kid with a lot of other kids drinking around us, like when we used to go out and party in the woods and whatever, and we'd get busted, we get busted by the cops and and party in the woods and whatever, and we'd get busted. We'd get busted by the cops, and the cops would put us in our cars, and we had been drinking. They always did. They never wanted to take you down to the station

to fill out any paperwork. Right. They certainly didn't have enough room for everybody in their cars, so they were just like, just go home. They made us pour out our beer, and then they'd make us go home, but there were people who were drinking all the time,

and there'd be people who were intoxicated driving home. That happened all the time. I just. All the time. And I know that. And like Haley told me the same stories of farm parties and getting like broken up. And everybody's fucked up. And they just get told to go home.

But like in this circumstance, Cecil. He brought the farm to the party. Yeah. With the harvester. And then they're like, hey, you gotta get home. They did the work of busting him for the DUI. They did the paperwork. Just hang on

to him until Sloshy McGee is a fucking properly upright. It's like an Uber farm. You gotta press the button for the Uber farm and an international harvester pulls up. Some giant combine with the big scary fucking farm arm thing. Somebody drives underneath it as you're going down the road.

You ever see those? Those ones that are like. Oh yeah. I saw a video recently where somebody actually did film themselves driving underneath it. They were in a little car. But those things are so fucking expensive. If you accidentally got hit by that thing, like, and it fucked it up,

you could be out of your life worth of money. Those things are like easily as much as a house. Those things are so unbelievably expensive. Every piece of those, every piece they sell to farmers are just like so fucking expensive. All those big combines and shit, they're like as much as like your houses.

Yeah, I have no doubt of that at all. Like the tools that are used for agribusiness now have no relationship to like regular guy farming. It's not like, I got my John Deere tractor. Well, this guy's got his international harvester from 1973. I'm sure it's not like anything is today. That's for sure. Fucking hell.

Props to the fact that it's still running. Yeah. You know? For real. Props to the fact that this thing from 1974, I'm from 1978 and I'm barely running. Bow to the queen of slime, the queen of filth,

the queen of putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!

We have not talked about the QAnon Queen of Canada in a while, Tom. So long. Yeah, it's been a long time. So long. So, this is from CBC. Cult of self-proclaimed Queen of Canada threatens Sask village with public executions. Here's the thing that's crazy to me is this Queen of Canada. We talked about her before.

She basically is a lady who says she's the indigenous Queen of Canada. And she travels around and she has convinced a bunch of people that they don't have to pay for their utilities. And she's convinced a bunch of people to like put her up on their property to like let her live there. She says she's the queen. She says she's in a bunch of people to like put her up on their property to like let her live there. She says she's the queen. She says she's in charge of Canada. And there's a bunch of people who like literally believe this person.

Oh, yeah. And it's like a weird cult of people who think she's real and has actual power and is really like a actual queen of Canada. actual queen of Canada. And this guy puts them up on, on his like abandoned lot or something in his, in this little tiny town, this little Hamlet up there in Saskatchewan. And she's talking about killing people. And the people that are with them are talking about like public executions and

stuff. At a certain point, there's gotta be somebody who's like, that's enough of that. I, that's enough of that. That's enough of that. You're done.

I don't think we should like run people out of that i i thought that's enough of that you're done i don't think we should like run people out of town unless yeah unless they're like rolling into your town and taking over your town and talking about killing people in your town if that happens i feel like you can run them out of town that's enough and that's enough i think to it sounds like they kind of got run out of the prior town that they were at because you know they don't pay their bills. It's not like they show up and they're like good local citizens. Right.

Right. They're just like, they're shitty. Member shithead. They're shitty. Yeah. So they like, she rolls in and she's like the property owner has like an old school and they're putting them up in. And there's only like a dozen of these people.

I think there's like 12 of these people had said, but like 12 people in a small town that everyone's like afraid of. That's a force of people. That's a force. They've shut down all the playgrounds. People are afraid to like let their kids out because like their town's been taken over by like essentially like a biker gang. Yeah, it's like a fucking Hell's Angels or something. Here's the thing. These people are like in your town as a force of people at a certain point, is there going to be somebody who's going to look the other way and be like, I'm the law here and be like, but I'm going to go over here behind this building. And who knows what's going to happen? Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen. I'll be busy. I'll be doing

paperwork all night. Don't disturb me. Law stuff. Whatever. I'm busy. I mean, it just feels at a certain point, you know, these people are just menaces, right? I mean, like, and it's maybe it's in an annoying way and not in a scary way, but it doesn't matter. Yeah, but now we're talking about public executions. I know. I agree. I agree. But also

maybe people don't take them seriously. But even still, you're in this place where these people are coming around. They're screaming about anti-vax shit. They're talking about like bullshit and fucking sovereign citizen stuff. This person is coming there pretending that they're the queen of the country. And they're just insane people. And you've got to what?

Just deal with them? Like, it seems like one of those things where you have to rack your brain and be like, fuck, we have to pass a law. And I don't know what that law's got to look like. But it's got to be like, if you're a fucking menacing, crazy person, you can't have your traveling cult set up shop in my town.

Can't follow us around. Right. I don't know how you write that down in legalese, but you've got to figure it out. Get a smart guy on that. Get a smart guy on this. Get a smart guy on this right away. Because seriously, I'll tell you what, there's places in the United States where this wouldn't fly. Where if somebody came in and they were

trying to menace people. I mean, there's places in this country where a black guy can't even go for a jog, let alone like some walk into some town where there's It's like everything south of I-80. There's plenty of people with enough guns and enough Charlie Bronson movies

in their fucking DVD rack that are going to want to do something if this happens. Yeah, the fucking queen of Canada. Look at your money. It's a different queen. Look at your money. You could just have a lineup and just melt so that's going to wrap it up for this week we'll be back this upcoming Monday

with a full show and then this upcoming Thursday with a funny show for everybody a more levity show this one had a little levity in it too you'll get a little more levity on Thursday so come hang out all right that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going

to leave you like we always do though with the skeptic screen. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo quasi alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, trouble, pseudo, quasi, alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment, Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evident your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information,

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