Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 748: Mayorkas Impeached, Jesus Washes Feet

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Show Notes

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago and beyond. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat.

Today is Thursday, February the 15th. And Cecil, not a lot has happened. You know, the sitting president of the United States has been declared essentially forgetful old man. And, you know, the prosecutor and DA of this trial of the century are involved in a torrid affair. Oh, yeah. Jon Stewart's back on The Daily Show because everything that's old is new again. Jon Stewart is back on The Daily Show. He is back on The Daily Show.

Yeah. Did you see his first bit? I did not. I saw a clip of him making fun of Joe Biden for being forgetful. And I thought, thanks. I don't know that we needed that. He made fun of both the presidents. thanks, I don't know that we needed that.

He made fun of both the presidents and he had a really, he did have a really good joke because he said, these two in this race are beating out the oldest people to ever run by four years and they're beating themselves because they broke that record last time.

It was a really good joke. He told it funnier than I did. But it was good. It's like, I thought it was funny. He. He told it funnier than I did. Yeah, yeah. But it was good. It's like, I thought it was funny. He's not wrong. Like, he's not wrong. No, no. But we are,

we have backed ourselves into a place where we have two very, very old white men who are fighting for the most powerful position in this country. Yeah. And we're in a bad situation. I think that's a bad situation. It's a horrible situation.

Yeah. It's, you know, like, it's distressing as hell because, like, on the one side, you've got Joe Biden, who is, it seems, from, you know, some of the gaffes and some of the reporting and some other things. Like, I think there are legitimate concerns about an 81-year-old man. Sure, sure.

Being president, you know, and someone running into 85 by the time he's done with this game, being president. That's a legitimate concern. I would be surprised if he didn't,

I mean, part of me thinks I'd be surprised if he didn't pass away in office. I know. Well, look, the odds are not ever in your favor after this.

At that age? Yeah, at 81, at 81, every day, if I'm 81, every day I wake up, I'll be like, well, didn't expect that. Every day's a blessing, let me tell you. It's something. If you believe in blessings, it's a blessing.

It's something. It's something. I'd be like, you know, I'm fucking 45. I wake up and I'm like, huh, okay, let's do it again. You know, by 81, I'll be like, well, I didn't see that coming. I really thought last night was the whole thing. Yeah. Look at that. Another one. We're doing it again. Yeah. You know, by 81, I'll be like, well, I didn't see that coming. I really, I really thought that was the whole thing. Yeah.

Look at that. Another one. We're doing this again. All right. Put away the mule. I'm out for one more day. Put away the will. But like, and I know our audience hates hearing this, but it is a binary choice.

It really is. There's nothing you can do about it. And the other side is a 77 year old maniac. Well, and it's not like. I'd rather have an 81 year old doddering fool. Yeah'd rather have an 81-year-old doddering fool. And I don't believe he is a doddering fool. But even if he were, even if I grant the most, like, egregious reading of his intellectual capacity, his cognitive function, I still would rather—if they said, like, it's Donald Trump or a coffee mug of old coffee, I'd be like, sign me up for coffee mug.

See the Donald Trump, or you have to hold a, you get locked into a cage with a stool and an alligator. Yeah. And you have to like keep it away from you for four years. Soul, dude, put me in the cage. Put me in the cage. Give me the stool.

I'm suplexing that alligator. What's up, reptile? It's a hard job with a lot of hours and a lot of stress and a lot of like cognitive demand on people. We're asking, or someone is raising their hand and asking us to put them in this position in their, you know, late 70s or early 80s. And we should have made different choices before now, right?

So that's the part that I really want to empathize with everybody else. We should have made different, better choices, but we also didn't make those choices. And this is the time now to plan for the next choice. Yeah. Right. Like right now is the time for us to think about who the next choice is. And, you know, grassroots stuff can take off in four to eight years. It's possible. Yes, it is. Very much so. It's possible.

I don't have to, I mean, I'm old enough to remember, but I, you know, there was a good portion of people in this country without a grassroots effort ready to vote for Ross Perot. Yeah.

There was a good portion of this country that did vote for him. He wound up between him and Bush won. Clinton wound up winning. I don't think anybody got 50% in that election. That was because it was split up between three different parties. So, you know, there's a possibility. And he didn't take three years to do that. Yeah. So it can be done with grassroots efforts. And I think if you're frustrated with this now, it's time to get involved and try to work through, you know,

as much as you can between now and the next election. It won't happen this one. No. But it might happen the following one or the one after. And you got to plan for the future. You can't just expect it to happen now. yet you got to plan for the future. You can't just expect it to happen now. You've got to plan for the future. Yeah, everything that I,

and I read a whole bunch of people lamenting, oh, I can't believe that we picked Joe and we should have done this and we should have. I agree with all of that. I do. Another way to, but we didn't do that. And importantly, we have to live in the world we created and not the world we should have created.

And we're going to create a world with Trump in it if we're not real fucking careful. And we didn't like that. Like 2017 to 2021, that didn't go well. That was real bad. That was the worst bad. Horrible.

So you got to, yes, we've got to do everything we can to avoid that. But another way to think about this, at least one thing I've been thinking is this is also a vote for Kamala. Yeah. Because Biden is 81 years old. And it's not entirely unfathomable that what he does is he wins the election

and steps down and hands it to Kamala. Or he wins the election and dies because he's an 81-year-old man and hands it to Kamala. Spends a couple of years and hands it to her. Right. So there's a world here where we really could see a succession from president to Kamala. Spends a couple of years and hands it to her. Right. So there's a world here where we really could see a succession

from president to vice president. There's a likelihood of that that's higher than it's been in my lifetime. Sure. I'm comfortable with that. I'm way more comfortable with that than I am with Trump or anyone he picks. We don't even know who Trump's running mate would be.

What horror, what fresh horror, Cecil. I don't know if you've thought about this, but I have given this some thought. What fresh hell are we looking at for Trump's vice presidential pick? Rush Limbaugh's corpse. Which is somehow more evil than Rush Limbaugh in life. They call those guys from Africa

that we played when they were putting them away. Right. The guys with the, they have that song and then they put the casket on their shoulders. On their shoulders

and they just dance. They carry him in in the inauguration. They're just dancing all the way. That's fucking nuts. He would never allow himself to be carried by black people. That's why I played it so much.

That's why I played it so much because he would be so offended that a black person was associated with him. I can't believe they're touching me. I mean, seriously, you could see like a Trump-Alex Jones ticket. Absolutely. There's no world.

There's nothing that stops that. Tucker Carlson ticket. Yeah. There's no insanity. There is no insanity. I think he's going to pick somebody who's like high on, I think, I don't know, Vivek, but maybe DeSantis.

There's a possibility it could be a Trump-DeSantis ticket. I mean, I don't think that's out of the question. I mean, it might be that they hate each other. There's a possibility that they hate each other off screen and we don't know. They kind of, they didn't really make up, I think at the end, they didn't kiss and make up, but it's a strong,

it's a damn strong candidate for a fucking vice president. It is. You know? God, I just, I feel like I'm throwing up my mouth. And I think people, a lot of people that didn't want to vote for him as president would be very happy with him as vice president. So the vice presidency normally tries to capture as much as it can.

Yeah, right. To bring it to fill in the gaps. To try to make sure to, that's why he picked Kamala. Yeah. To bring it to fill in the gaps. To try to make sure. That's why he picked Kamala. Yeah. Because he was, you know, he wanted to try to get a younger audience that was, you know, more interested in somebody who was younger

and a person of color. And so that's why he chose her. And the same thing goes with Trump. Trump will choose somebody that is going to capture a large swath of the Republican audience that he's not currently capturing. Yeah.

So I've been thinking about the Biden vote as a vote against Trump and for Kamala. And if I think about it that way, I'm not holding my nose this bad. It's not a bad shot. I know, you're the icon. No, you're the icon.

You icon. You're iconic. Icon. Icon girl. Girl boss. What did you say? Icon again. Icon. You con.

All right, see, so this story comes from the Hill. Democrats flip Santos' New York House seat Icon girl. Girl boss. What did it say? Icon again. Icon. UConn. All right, see, so this story comes from the Hill. Democrats flip Santos' New York House seat in high stakes special election. This, leading up to this election, there was a lot of hullabaloo. This is one of those, like, bellwether seats, right? Where there's a lot of, hey, this could really be something of a laboratory for how the House and how politics in general may run in 2024. Yeah, yeah.

So there's a lot of interest. I did hear something, and maybe on the Daily or Slate, that suggested that each party would spend something like $10 million in campaigning per candidate. A lot of money. For a seat that will be held for less than 12 months. Yeah, it's a short seat. Yeah. The person will be an incumbent, which is a good thing.

This guy used to have this seat. Yeah, he was a big deal when they ran for governor unsuccessfully. He used to have this seat, left, someone else took it over, and then they ran against, either they took it over or he left and they

raced against each other, these two people. There was no incumbent, I think, at the time. And it was DeSantis. Then Santos, he wound up, so the numbers look like this. This was a win by almost eight points. In 2020, Suzy, is that how you say his name, Suzy?

I don't know how you say his name. Suzy, I don't know how to say his name. I don't know. Whatever. The guy who currently has a seat now defeated santos because santos ran against him in 2020 and he defeated him by 12.4 points it's a pretty that's a good that's a crushing defeat yeah and then santos ran against zimmerman in 2022 and he and he won by seven and a half points so the same almost the same spread right that suzy

is beating santos and again i apologize if i'm mispronouncing his name i don't know but if if he he won that seat just now against his opponent uh not santos because santos is disgraced but right person who he ran against he beat and it was not this was not a gimme seat no this was not a gimme seat it was called very early though yeah it was called within i was not a gimme seat. No. This was not a gimme seat. It was called very early though. Yeah. It was called within- I did notice that. About an hour or so, it was called.

And it was called because the number of votes that came back, there was just AP, several places had called it. I was watching NBC at the time and they said they hadn't called it yet, but I looked online and New York Times and AP and a couple others already called it. Yeah, it was a leading story in the middle of the afternoon, it seemed like, from the Times. I remember popping open the Times. It wasn't late, like 3, 4 in the afternoon. It was

like, here's the seat. It's done. Democrats take control of that seat. Much narrower margin in the House for the Republicans, too. Yeah, very, very narrow margin, which is good. It's good to see this. This is, this is a, it's a good glimpse of hopefully, again, what they ran on was women's rights. Yeah. Women's rights to healthcare, abortion. And they also ran on the border. Yeah. Because I think the border is a big thing right now.

And in New York, especially, it's a big thing. They're shipping migrants up there. Siley seekers are getting shipped up there. They're getting shipped from wherever, you know, like the border. Yeah. Wherever they get picked up. Eagle Ridge or Eagle Pass or whatever it's called, but they're being shipped up. So there's a constant focus on the border now. And I think people, this is still fresh where Democrats are saying, we're ready to pass a bill and they're not. And that's a big deal. Right. When this person, if this person, the Republican who's running, what do they have to run on? Their side literally just closed down. They just shut down shop on a very restrictive immigration bill.

Yeah. The Republicans, we talked about this on our last show, the Republicans don't have a plan here. And I do think it was really smart of the Democrats to take that away from them. They basically stripped the ball. Sure. And they said, all right, well, fine. If that was your big issue and that's what you're going to beat us up with, well, we'll just take that. Yeah. And now you've got no cudgel and that's it. And the cudgel we have is all the horrible shit you've done, the dysfunction in the house, the complete and utter chaotic dysfunction. It's nuts. It's nuts.

There's so much going on. And then, you know, you have an indecisive group of people that all they want to do, and we'll talk about it in a little bit, is do impeachment votes. It's all they care about. They just want to waste time. They are just literally counting down the seconds. They don't want to be They just want to waste time. They don't, they are just literally counting down the seconds. They don't want to be in charge, man. No.

They don't want to be in charge. No. Because there's no grownups in that room. Well, that, they don't want to have to do this. This is hard work. They don't want to have to do this.

They don't want to be responsible for anything. They want to shit on everybody who is responsible for something. Yeah. They're the party of no. Yeah. And when you put the party of no

in the driver's seat and the whole time you've been screaming, hit the brake, hit the brake, hit the brake, and now you no in the driver's seat, and the whole time you've been screaming, hit the brake, hit the brake, hit the brake, and now you're in the driver's seat, and you slam on the brake, you're like, all right, well, when are we going to get there? Yeah. We're never going to get there.

Never. Oh, where are we headed? We're headed nowhere. Yeah. And we're screaming about it the whole time. Just screaming. I uninstalled Waze, and I have no idea where I am. I don't know where I am right now.

Hmm. I've always been loyal to Stalin. Always. This story comes from HuffPo. Donald Trump, Taylor Swift is disloyal if she endorses President Biden. Why don't you just read his truth? Read the truth, Tom.

This is not true. I really hate reading these little truthy things. I just do. I just hate- This one is the most petulant one I've heard in a long time. This is so bitchy. This is like such a little child. I signed and was responsible for the Music Modernization Act

for Taylor Swift and all other musical artists. Joe Biden didn't do anything for Taylor and never will. There's no way she can endorse crooked Joe Biden, the worst and most corrupt president in the history of our country, and be disloyal to the man who made her so much more money. Besides that, I like her boyfriend, Travis, even though he may be a liberal and probably can't stand me.

What is even, this is not a grownup. How can you make so much of something else about you in every second of your life? Isn't that exhausting? Didn't that be, wouldn't it be just to think if you were, and I know that there's no universe, there's not even any multiverse where Tom is Trump's friend, but just think about a person like this. Yeah. How every single second of their life has to be about them. And you're just like, come on, man.

I know. Look, dude, come on. Let's just watch the game. Can you shut the fuck up for two minutes? I just want to watch the game. I love that he takes credit for Taylor Swift's financial success. Like, man, even if you, even if the Music Modernization Act, which first of all,

I don't know anything about that, but I can tell you Trump didn't write that bill. Right? I don't know. I literally don't know anything about it. Unless it was tweeted out, he did not. He didn't write that bill, right? I don't know. I literally don't know anything about it. I've never heard of it before. Unless it was tweeted out, he did not. He didn't write it, right? So something made it through the bill process

and he signed it into law. So he didn't veto it. That's his big value add to that, right? Meanwhile, Taylor's like, yeah, I make and sell records internationally. I'm a billionaire. If she's 20% richer, seriously, if she's 20% richer because of this, which seems extraordinary, and I don't

believe that's the case, she would still be without him worth $800 million. Right? So it's not like she'll be like, I can't afford Starbucks today. It's an extensive amount of money. She's not poor without you, Trump. She's not destitute without your help.

She's doing fucking fine no matter help. She's doing fucking fine no matter what. Here's what I don't get. Let's say you're one of these fucking I don't like high taxes guys, right? Or whatever. Why the fuck is this guy, this fucking cringe-inducing fucking tweet machine,

why is he your guy? Why do you look out on the fucking landscape of the GOP and think, you know what? I want this guy who fucking throws a fit every two minutes on social media when someone isn't talking about him. Yeah. That's who I want.

And I mean, what the fuck is going through your head as that guy who's, cause there's a lot of those guys, right? Those people who are, I am a, uh, I'm a person who just wants lower taxes

and I want the government out of my business. I know that's a bullshit. It's a bullshit idea that really doesn't even exist anymore because the Republicans are so big government. But I'm just saying like, there are people who trick themselves into thinking that that's what they are.

Yeah, right. How can you be like a staunch traditional Republican and look at this guy and think, that's my guy? I have no idea. I literally, I don't know the answer to that question. Because there's also, I was listening to, maybe it was the Daily, it was right before the Iowa caucus. And they're interviewing some farmers.

And they're talking to this guy. And he's like, yeah, well, you know, I'm a Trump guy no matter what. Like the one guy, the one farmer was like, yeah, I was a Trump guy. And then he fucked up all these tariffs. My livelihood, because of his beef with China, everything in my world got more expensive. It cost me a ton of money. And I've come to realize he didn't really ever have my best interest at heart.

So he was a DeSantis guy. Still a Republican, but he had switched from Trump to DeSantis. His friend, a farmer down the road. He wanted to get fucked in the ass and then come on the face instead of come on the back is what he wanted. Exactly. It's a distinction without a difference, right? But still, the other guy was still a diehard Trumper.

And he's describing Trump, and he's like, well, you know, I just think he's more like, he's like, he's one of us. And I'm like, dude, you're a farmer in Iowa. This is a billionaire from Manhattan with no political experience. He comes, he's a millionaire from the jump. He's nothing like any of you. They've all turned Trump into something he never was and isn't now. And I don't understand the sort of self-chameleonization that is going on with Trump,

where they repaint him in whatever camouflage suits their narrative best, but they're all doing it. So he's a different sort of like Republican warrior for different people, depending on what they feel like they need to see. Somehow he appeals to a hedge fund manager in Manhattan, and he also appeals somehow in the same similar to some Iowa farmer. They have wildly different interests and worldviews and lives that they live. Somehow

they would both look at this guy and be like, that's my guy. I'm baffled by that. And then he tweets out this shit where you're just, it's so self-evident that he just needs to weigh in on a Taylor Swift controversy. All of his Republican, you know, shitheads have already done it. And he's like, I haven't said anything about Taylor Swift. Let me say something real quick. I know, so I like your boyfriend. He probably doesn't like me though, but I like him. This is nothing.

There's no content here. Yeah. It's like 70 words without content. And it's the most childish content you could possibly imagine. I mean, it's childish. And I'm reminded when you're talking about that, I'm reminded of the NFTs and all the imagery that we've seen with Trump, how it is 100% not him. They're making him into an object. It's an object. It's like an object of their hate.

He's like a little idol for their hate. Yeah, man. I think that's what he is. He's like a little fetish for their- It's super weird. Yeah, it's super crazy. There's a pedestalization that I've never seen before. I found my thrill On Blueberry Hill, on Blueberry Hill, where I found you.

The moon stood still on Blueberry Hill and lingered until my dreams came true. This story is everywhere. It's the most important story. I can't wait to talk to you about the story. As soon as from Huffington Post. You can find this literally everywhere if there's news. Trump says he might encourage Russia to attack NATO allies. He was at one of his rallies in South Carolina.

Let me read what he said, Tom, because this is so fucking good. NATO was busted until I came along, he began. I said, everybody's going to pay. They said, well, if we don't pay, are you still going to protect us? I said, he began. I said, everybody's going to pay. They said, well, if we don't pay, are you still going to protect us? I said, absolutely not. They couldn't believe the answer. One of the presidents of a big country. A big one, a very big one, one of the biggest ones, big country, great man, big president, lots of country. In a big country, he stay with you. And big president, lots of country. In a big country, we stay with you.

So one of the presidents of a big country stood up and said, well, sir, if we don't pay and we're attacked by Russia, will you protect us? I said, you didn't pay your delinquent? He said, yes, that's what happened. Let's say that's what happened. No, I would not protect you. In fact, I would encourage them to do whatever the hell they want. End quote.

And then everybody clapped. Do you, I mean, for a second. Yeah. First off, this is like your five-year-old telling you a story. Yeah, oh yeah. That they made up while they're telling it to you. While they're making it up. They're not even sure where it's gonna end.

They don't even know the end of the story when they start speaking. That's half his speeches. It is. Here's my biggest worry about this story, though. And I thought about that this week, is that I think that this was a conversation from Trump to Russia saying, help me again. Help me get elected. I don't think you're wrong.

I will cripple NATO for it. Yeah. Well, and so last week, someone had either commented or posted somewhere or sent us a message. I forget where I saw it, but someone had said, Trump can't leave NATO.

He can't do it. And they're right. Trump can't leave NATO without the two thirds of the Congress voting. And we know that because that law literally was just passed because Trump has threatened to leave NATO, right? So we did a show recently

where we talked about him leaving NATO. Leaving NATO doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't act, right? He can still be in it and not act. That's also possible. So him being in it as a figurehead and quiet quitting NATO is just as bad as him pulling out of NATO, which he can't do. Yeah. Well, the fact that he would stand in front of the world, in the whole world,

and dog whistle out to Russia, and also stab all of our European allies in the back. This, it'd be difficult to overstate what a big deal this is. Sure. This is a, you've got a situation right now where, you know, he's been cozy with Putin for such a long time. So, so, I wouldn't mispronounce that. He's been cozy with Putin. I know people love it when I say it that way. For such a long, long time. And this is such an obvious dog whistle at this key moment where the battle in Ukraine, the fight in Ukraine is really reaching an inflection point and possibly might pivot toward Russia and away from Ukraine. The rest of Europe is eyeing that with great unease.

And Trump is basically saying to Russia, just like he did in 2016 when he stood in front of that podium and he said, Russia, if you're listening, get me her emails. The next day, Clinton's emails were leaked by Russia. They were hacked by Russia the next day. I double checked that. I dug up a WAPO story about that. This is clearly a dog whistle out to Russia. No, I think you're right.

Help me get elected. I think you're right. I won't support NATO. If I don't support NATO, then you can walk through Ukraine, you can take Belarus, maybe take some pieces of Poland, reestablish USSR, we'll cripple Europe together. How awesome would that be? Yeah. What the fuck,

man? What the fuck? I mean, he could literally just allow Putin to put up a big map and just throw darts. Yeah. Wherever it lands, I can go because it doesn't matter anymore. Yeah. I hope I don't hit China

because that might be a big fight. But anywhere else, I can pretty much go and it's not going to matter at all because, you know, like I said before, maybe we can't pull out of it. But he has proven that he doesn't honor these obligations. Yeah, he'll just not do

whatever it's supposed to do. So, you know, the fact is, is that there will be a public outcry if, say, Putin goes after Belarus or he goes after, I mean, shit, he could fucking invade Sweden or something.

Who the fuck knows what he's going after? So he goes after another country. And there's a lot of countries in NATO that I didn't even know were in NATO. I looked it up today. And there's a bunch of countries I didn't even realize were in NATO, but they're all right around Russia.

All those Baltic states. And they're all super easy to hop, skip, and jump to from where you're at there. It could be, this is a huge deal. And it's such a huge deal that even Biden, who normally doesn't talk about Trump very much, stopped and said, what is happening? He stopped in a press conference and said, we have the guy who I'm running against is saying, I will basically not help. I want, I don't care what happens. And he stopped and he said, what the hell is that?

I mean, he literally addressed it in a press conference. In an incredulous and angry way, because we need to be incredulous and angry about this. This is a huge deal. And even if nothing happens, even if Russia doesn't invade, and I don't actually think that that would happen. I think Russia would invade some of the Baltic states for sure, I don't actually think that that would happen. I think Russia would invade some of the Baltic states for sure if they felt like the NATO alliance were weakened, desperately weakened. And the response to this, by the way, has been that Europe has been looking and saying, well, we might be going this alone.

Let's think about an alliance, what a European NATO looks like without the big swinging dick of American military power to back it up. the big swinging dick of American military power to back it up. This also just absolutely shits on and destroys those Western European alliances, both military and economic alliances. We're telegraphing to Western Europe that we are a bad actor, that we cannot be trusted. How is that going to make other things that we want to get done possible? It's not.

It's going to make it way more impossible. Trump's a doddering old piece of shit, 77-year-old man who doesn't know how the world works and doesn't understand the interconnectivity of all of our nations and our economies. He thinks we can play this isolationist shit. We cannot play this isolationist shit. It's not, look at the pandemic. When the pandemic

happened and global supply chains began to crumble around us, we had shortages of everything. Everything. Everything. Because we are all interconnected. Isolationism is a bygone policy idea from like the fucking 19 teens, man. We can't have that in the 2020s. We just can't. But he's an old shitty man who doesn't know anything about anything. And he really thinks that we could just like bootstrap, go it alone, cause murica.

Well, I'm reminded again of a, this is from the episode we did where we talked about the Atlantic. And there's like four or five stories in there that we talked, four stories that we talked in there. And one of them was that there's like four or five stories in there that we talked, four stories that we talked in there. And one of them was that there's not gonna be any adults in the room. And one thing that we can look back on

with his relationship with NATO before is that there had to be somebody there in the past who was nudging him in the correct way, telling him what to do. No, you can't do that. Whether it was Pence or whoever was on his arm and basically saying, look, I know you don't want to deal with these people, but you have to. This is literally, this is what we do. No, you can't do that. Whether it was Pence or whoever was on his arm and basically saying, look, I know you don't want to deal with these people, but you have to, this is literally,

this is what we do. We can't, whatever is in that little brain ears, that's not how this works. And none, nothing that you think none of your weird tough guy scenarios are going to work. Right. Yeah. It's just not going to work here. You're not John Wayne. You're a dude who's doing a job for a nation, not for yourself. This isn't your company. This is a nation. And so I think there was enough people there, but we talked in that episode

very much about how there's not going to be that if there's another Trump term. So this is also, I think, a message to say there might not be somebody there to stop me. Now, granted, there is something there to stop me because they had to make a fucking whole entire law to stop him from doing it.

Co-sponsored by Marco Rubio, of all people. Yeah, but you're going to look at, you're going to look at a situation where there's not going to be anybody in that room and he's going to make decisions. You know, they might not be

pulling out of NATO decisions, but they might be very bad decisions for the United States and for NATO. Yeah. And the messaging matters. Even if nothing happens, we've told Germany they can't trust us, right? We've told all of these big Western nations that they can't trust us. When they interviewed Lindsey Graham about it, Lindsey Graham was like, ah, it's Trump. He just blew it off. He's like, ah, no, yeah, he's just, he's just fucking blowing smoke and saying shit to get people to pay. And it's like, man, that's not how this works. Yeah. Oh, you can't hurt your friends. And these alliances are friendships. They're relational. It's amazing to me how much that's true when it seems like there should be bigger things that cement us together. And maybe economically there are.

But it's also weirdly tenuous. Yeah. Scarily tenuous. Thank you for coming in. Thank you for having me. Good morning. Morning to you. Why are you gay?

Who says I'm gay? You are gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay. Gay.

Why are you gay? All right, Cecil, I didn't watch the Super Bowl. I know you, I know you did, right? You watched the Super Bowl. So I missed the ad. You missed the commercial. I missed the commercial. Okay. All right, so the story's from,

we've got several stories about the Super Bowl, as we always do every year. Every year. This one's from Newsweek. Christian. Sorry, let me put this over. No, it's okay. This one's from Newsweek.

Christian Super Bowl commercial outrages conservatives. So the commercial itself is He Gets Us commercial. This has been sort of bouncing around on TV for quite some time. This one has In Excess' song Never Tear Us Apart.

I don't know if that's the name of the song, but that's the verse. And so they're singing it and the images that you're seeing are of two people who would seem like they're on opposite sides of say a political

or some other kind of debate sides. And one of them is washing the other person's feet. And so they're doing this thing. Do they take turns washing? No, it's just like there were still images. So it's fucking Ken No, it's just like, there were still images. So it's fucking Ken Burns.

It's just like slowly flowing toward the screen. And then the next one is slowly flowing. My dearest Martha, from the battleground of Planned Parenthood, I write to you. It's all sad, sad Civil War slow pans as they're washing each other's feet.

One of them's washing the other one's feet. And so the images are of, you know, the one that popped into my head is there's an image of what looks like someone who's in LGBT. I don't know what it's supposed to be depicting, but it clearly looks like somebody who is, you know, sort of trying to be-

Trying to represent. Represent that sector. And then a pastor who's on his knees with a cross on washing that person's feet. And at the end, like when the drum beat hits before the chorus, it says, Jesus didn't hate. And then it said, he washed feet.

Which seems like a fetish site, if you ask me. But in any case, that was the thing that they showed. And there's a part of me, when I saw this commercial, there's two parts of me, right? There's the one part of me that's the realist part. And then there's the other part of me that thinks, I'm happy that someone out there is saying, it feels like some of our Christian brothers or whatever are being assholes.

And maybe this might be the thing to show them, be humble. You know, Jesus didn't, Jesus wasn't an asshole or something, whatever, whatever fucking fantasy they, I don't know, whatever fantasy belief. Sure. The other part of me is like, yeah, it's a great commercial, but Mike Johnson is our fucking, he's the house speaker yeah yeah and then that guy hates a large swath of america yep that guy wants to subjugate half our population so it's a really sweet fucking commercial you made there it'd be a shame if fucking the religious right were to happen to it because that's what happened. It's a fucking, it's a dream. I

understand why you're making it, and I think they're saying, we're making it so that we can reach these atheists or whatever, or these secular people. That's why they think they're making it. I hope they're making it for the shitty Christians out there. That's who I

hope they're making it for. Because it's not convincing me. I don't care how many pictures of someone washing someone else's feet. I will never become a Christian. Right, yeah. I'm not all of a sudden going to wake up and be like, huh, I do believe things without evidence. Because my feet's be clean. Exactly.

You know what? I had, I had so much shit all over my feet. Once you washed them off, it was like, man, all of a sudden I don't need evidence to believe shit at all. Yeah. That toe jam just flew out and my God, it was so dirty. They were clouding my thoughts. I was like pig pen up for my biscuits. What the fuck? No, like it's not going to convert you or I, But I do think that there is a segment of the population which believes in something or wants to believe in something and has been turned off by the vitriolic divisiveness of much of the Christian rhetoric. And if what this commercial does is on the face of it, try to bridge that gap, then I can understand the value to them

of this kind of propaganda marketing, right? I get that. I do have a theological question. I don't know if you know the answer to. How much foot washing is in, like, does this happen all the time? How many feet did that motherfucker wash? I thought it was just as a story.

I remember one story. I think it's just as disciples too, because there's other stories that we're going to get, that we may or may not get to here where other people are talking about it. And several of them are saying that that's not a thing that you know. I don't think he went around

washing feet. I don't remember I don't remember him just being like, hey foot washing. Foot washing five cents. And sermon today. It's like that Lucy from Snoopy where it says, you know, like five cents foot washing. That's the worst lemonade.

The worst. The worst. But what I love is that the Christians and the conservatives are outraged by this messaging. Yeah. And they're outraged by this messaging because the messaging is too kind.

They are outraged. They're like, hey, you're not actually taking into account, and they're right, the totality of scripture. Much of it is not this nice. Much of it is really problematic, and that's the stuff we seize on. Yeah, exactly, right? You know, you're ignoring all the hateful shit Jesus did. How dare you? Right, yeah. I want to beat this person, and I don't want to wash their feet. You're picking and choosing all the good stuff he said, and you're ignoring all the horrible shit Jesus did and said,

which so many do. Yeah, and it's not just that. They want to make sure that they emphasize the forgiveness part of the whole equation because they're saying, they'll say several of these comments that you see are all about, yeah, we should love our LGBT brothers and sisters,

but they should always recognize they're living their life in sin. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. So it's like, they're like bad death metal bands. So you're like,

okay, fucker, you can't like them unless you shame them. You can't like them unless you say you're living a life that I disapprove of.

I get to look down my nose at you and fucking judge you and think of you as lesser. And that's what it is. So if they can't do that, they're like, fuck Jesus. Yeah, they really are. And we've talked about this before. And I really have come to believe, genuinely believe that there is a new Christianity that is Americana Christianity. Christian nationalist Christianity that is Americana Christianity, Christian nationalist Christianity

that is unique to America, which where all of the Christian ideas that we have are rooted in something that is non-biblical now, that is rooted in something that is American cultural rather than genuinely biblical. And these guys don't want to hear anything about this message because this flies in the face of a judgment-based system that American Christianity has really morphed into. American Christianity encompasses a lot of different denominations, but it has so much in common where it believes that America is the center of the theological universe, that guns are a part of our Christian heritage somehow, that the Constitution is a divinely inspired document, that judgment of other people is part of the basis upon which America was founded. And they're right about that, by the way.

Judgment, specifically Christian judgment, is part of the basis that America was founded on. So we have a different kind of Christianity that's unique to America, and it puts its arms around a lot of different denominations. And anything that sort of pushes back against that with a kinder, gentler, or even sometimes more theologically accurate message, I think gets a lot of hate, a lot of Americana hate, man. Because it's not, it's like, if it's not apple pies and bullets, we don't want anything to do with it. Yeah, they don't want,

they want to make sure that their brand of judgment and their brand of hate isn't diluted. And you dilute it by washing it. Yeah. You dilute it. And they don't like that. They don't like it at all. And there was multiple

articles that talked about this. Christian Nationalist, here's one from Boing Boing, we'll put in the notes, a super bold Jesus ad funded by groups fostering hateful Christian nationalism. This is another piece I wanted to talk about that other people will probably seize on is that this group that's putting it out, that's saying there's a kinder, gentler message, they're taking people to a website. And that website, I didn't get a chance to look at it, but that website may have things on it that could lead them to a shittier version of Christianity than is depicted in a commercial. This is a smokescreen, I think, because the He Gets Us campaign is, first of all, they're going to spend like an insane amount of money

and they have spent an insane amount of money. Yeah, it's 14 million or something like that. This is funded by the Hobby Lobby guys. Yeah. So, and the Hobby Lobby guys shit money at anti-LGBTQ legislation and anti-LGBTQ causes constantly. They don't believe this He Gets Us message.

They don't believe this arms around us message. They don't believe this arms around, kinder, gentler, you know, squeezy, huggy Jesus stuff. I think this is a little bit of a honeypot. Get him in, find those disaffected by the vitriol, bring him in, lure him in

with the kindness, and then we'll sort of teach him the hate show shit later. You know, like... There's always room to teach him the hate show shit later, you know, like. There's always room to grow into that hateful shit. For real. And I think this is what this really is

targeting is the nuns. Yeah. Not secular people. I think secular people already thought of it. For just a second, I pictured the nuns and habits and everything

and I was like, all these nuns watching the Super Bowl, like. Fucking tackle him. One nun fucking. That's a bullshit call, ref. One nun fucking spears another nun. that's a bullshit call ref one nun fucking

spears another nun she's so excited but N-O-N-E so the nuns don't have any religion yeah but that's not cause

they I don't think they want it and we've seen that there's some that are leaking in there right they're growing into it and

this is a way to capture people who don't identify right now yeah and there's to capture people who don't identify right now. Yeah. And there's plenty of people who won't identify, but you're never going to get rid of religion. You're never going to get rid of it. There's going to be people who believe in it. And I think it's going to always kind of be a cycle of people who, you know, the parents don't teach them, but the kids may find it. And I think that that's sort of where we're at now, where there's a whole new group of Gen Z out there that don't know and probably didn't learn it.

You know, your kids are Gen Z, right? Yeah, my kids have no idea. So your kids don't know anything about religion. And who knows what happens in 10 years? You know, maybe your kids in 10 years or five years might be seeking something that could help fulfill them. You know, who knows? I don't know. And it could be, it might not be in your family, but in other families,

other families that didn't teach their kids about religion. And they might see this and think, you know, especially see it as a kinder, gentler version and capture those people. And they don't have their guard up like secular folks, right? The secular folks see this and they're like,

this is for not, this is not for me. And one, I don't believe you. And two, it's not going to convince me just because you washed a foot. Like I don't give a shit. So, but I think there are people out there that this could target and could change their mind. And it's something you want to point out is that this group, even if this particular ad isn't in

itself, Christian hate, right? It may lead someone back to something like that. And it's funded by people who don't care about that stuff and actually actively fund it. It's funded by some of the most conservative Christian groups in the country. We can't skip away from the Super Bowl without talking about, where is it at?

Here it is. Without talking about what someone wore, Tom. Because I think every time we do the Super Bowl, we have to talk about the outfits. And in this particular one, there's an outfit that we need to talk about. There is, but I'm going to take a quick aside. I watched the halftime show on YouTube. And because of the musical acts, Haley wanted to watch the Usher thing. So we watched it. And something that she pointed out,

which I thought was really, really interesting, is that there was all that hullabaloo. I don't remember if it was last year or the year before when the performers were female. I don't remember who played. And they had pole dancing

and they had like scantily clad. And there was all this like, do you remember the hullabaloo that the Christian, the right wingers went fucking crazy because like the, the main performers were female. I think that they were black artists if I remember right, but I could be wrong.

Might've been when there was a 50 cent and Eminem and Dr. Dre. It's possible during that. No, I think the performers were female. Oh, okay. I think the performers were female and they had okay. I think the performers were female.

And they had, they were dressed somewhat provocatively and they had like pole dancers. Oh, maybe it was when Shakira did it. Maybe that was it. Shakira was out

and then there was two others, maybe J-Lo and someone else. There was a huge hullabaloo from the right about that. So the Usher thing happens. And during Usher's show, there are women on poles,

pole dancing. Very, very briefly, but yeah, there are, yeah. And not a word of it. Yeah. Because when men are in control of women's bodies, everybody's comfortable. When women are in control of women's bodies, all of a sudden, they're not

comfortable, man. Sure, sure. It was like the biggest fucking thing that the right was talking about. I remember this was maybe a year, maybe two years ago. It was like three years ago, think yeah it was a while they were freaking out about this they were freaking out about how inappropriate it was it's a kid's show or like their family show and they couldn't believe they'd have like stripper poles out there and all this like shit usher comes out not a fucking peep i looked for it cannot find a peep even if you search for a peep and i'm like it'd be interesting to see what Yeah. If they did it again, it's a hundred percent.

I think because when men control women's bodies as objects of sexual desire, then culturally we're like, well, that's, that's the way it's supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I know that's not what we want to talk about with this story, but it's really an important aside. Yeah. It says so much. It says so much. So this story, though, comes from Snopes. And the claim is that rapper Ice Spice, who I've never heard of, wore an upside-down satanic cross at the 2024 Super Bowl. So here's the cross. There's her sitting there looking like a vampire.

My friend, she didn't even perform, by the way. She didn't. She's just a spectator. She was in a commercial, though, too. So there was one commercial. I think it was a soda commercial, some kind of soda.

I forget the name of the soda. It's like a new lemon-lime soda. I forget what it's called. But she was in that commercial. Okay. So I did see that commercial. And she's wearing what looks like

an upside-down cross on her neck. And I'm not going to lie. It looks like an upside-down cross. Sure.'s wearing what looks like an upside down cross on her neck and I'm not going to lie. It looks like an upside down cross. Sure. Sure, it looks like an upside down cross. It looks less like a traditional Christian cross

than a plus sign to me. Yeah. And a plus sign is not a Christian cross. Yeah. Right? But even if I were to grant the clasp as part of the,

I don't know, upright in a cross and I flipped it upside down, the Snopes article actually does a great job of pointing out that the upside down cross is nothing. That's not satanic. That's made up. That's from Hollywood.

Hollywood taught you that the upside down cross is a satanic symbol. There are no satanic symbols. Satanism isn't a real thing. There are no satanic symbols. That's all nothing. That's no anything ever. That's all nothing. It's made anything ever. That's all nothing.

It's made up by people. That's made up Hollywood bullshit. It's made up by people. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a thing. It's like thinking

someone wore something that they described in a Necronomicon and therefore it's evil. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Now, don't get me wrong.

You make a book, a human skin, it's pretty evil. That is pretty evil. It's really pretty evil. That is pretty evil. But I'm talking about what's in it.

It's a mythical Lovecraftian book of madness, right? Like, it's not, this is all evil. But I'm talking about what's in it. It's a mythical Lovecraftian book of madness, right? Like it's not, this is all bullshit. Like we were joking before the show, this is somebody who like

watched The Exorcist too many times. Sure, sure. And the cross flips upside down. You're like, ah, my panties! And you're just like,

okay, that's, none of this is anything. It's all made up by Hollywood. It's all made up by people who are creating an aesthetic to sell you an aesthetic. There is no historicity with any of this. This is nothing.

So the fact that she's wearing it, one, doesn't symbolize Satanism. She's also wearing some Balenciaga thing. And I guess there's some internet conspiracy thing. Oh, God, come on. That Balenciagaaga as a brand, like they did with Procter & Gamble, because they remember the Procter & Gamble, there was like hidden messages in the- I don't remember.

You guys, Cecil is just rubbing his eyes. I remember Tom. But there's obviously, there's nothing there. And even if there was, what I thought when I read this story, Cecil, even if there was, she's just in the crowd. She's not on the field. And even if she was, what I thought when I read this story, Cecil, even if there was, she's just in the crowd! She's not on the field.

And even if she was, who cares? And they're showing her for like 10 seconds. Yeah. I don't know if the right thinks that if you win the Super Bowl, you're now like ruler of Earth for the next year. They put so much in this. They put so much weight on this every year. Every year there's a new

high stakes game and it's not the Super Bowl it has nothing to do with the Super Bowl and nothing happens because of it I know so there was too much red in the show or something yeah that would like maroon five or some shit too much red yeah or that you know it was the women who had their do you remember how badly uh the coach not a coach was scoffing meyer what happened to that i don't know hopefully he probably passed i don't know what happened to him but i i don't hope it's anything good um but but what i'll say is his flipping out about shakira yeah and and her small pants right and how upset he was upset that he had to look at Shakira's hand shaking.

He was on a rant for 15 minutes because of it. Yeah. So the thing is that they recognize, I think they pick their battlegrounds well, is what I think. I think the far Christian right knows a culture war battleground and they know how to pick them very well

because they do their best to get as much publicity out of these very public events as possible. So they know if they shake and beat on the cage enough during this moment that the camera sometimes pans to them and they get- They get some notoriety. They get some push out of it. And that's what happens. I think every year there is something that happens with the Super Bowl and it's because it's such a big drum. That's a really good point. I hadn't really thought of

the way that they use the stage of the Super Bowl to enhance the size of their message. And that's a really good point. I think it's obviously because they have to go hunting so hard. They have to go. If you have to look into the crowd and be like, somebody in the crowd of 60,000 fucking people here. And for just a second in the crowd, we saw a picture of somebody wearing an outfit. The devil. Okay. You know what, man? In the crowd, we saw a picture of somebody wearing an outfit.

The devil. Like, okay. You know what, man? If you panned it through the crowd and the actual devil were sitting in the crowd. He's in nosebleeds because his T-shirts are so fucking expensive. I can't afford this shit. Sorry, man. My credit card's maxed out.

I had to buy a Jesus washes feet ad. Hey. Max maxed out. I had to buy a Jesus Washes Feet ad. Hey. Maxed it out. I spent all my money keeping McConnell alive all these years. I'm in up to here with the Koch brothers, you know? Wrestling, roller derby, Jimmy Swagger. This story's from the New York Times. House Republicans impeach Mayorkas for border policies.

I like the way this headline is phrased. Because you're not supposed to impeach people for doing a bad job or a job you don't like. That's not how this is supposed to work. You're supposed to impeach people for having committed a high crime or misdemeanor when they're in an office like this. Not just because you didn't like the job they did. The House finally got their shit together by one vote, 214 to 213, if I'm not mistaken. They voted to impeach, second attempt in the vote.

So they failed the first time they did it. This will go to the Senate and the Senate will basically shoot it down. It needs two thirds. It's an intense vote anyway. Democrats have already said, we're just going to dismiss it as soon as it gets here. Yeah. This is a show of a show of a show.

It was performative and it wasn't... It's not even as good a performance as Usher. If they did this on roller skates, yeah, I would have been impressed if they did this on roller skates. I, oh man, I'd love to see like actual roller derby up in there instead, where they run around the top

of the house and different people check people over the side. Be amazing. We need to, okay. Someone breaks a hip every time. Filibuster through roller derby. That's how it's done. From now on. We're restructuring the government people. That's it. So the house is roller derby, but filibuster through Escrima, the stick fighting in the Senate. Yes. I think that's how you got to do it. There needs to be more stick fighting or whatever it is. There needs to be more trial by combat.

Beat the shit out of them. Tell you what, that dude who lost an eye would be kicking the fuck out of everybody. It's like an ex-Navy SEAL. He's lost an eye though. You got to circle off to the one side. All you got to do is get to one side

and then fuck with his depth perception. You're juking it in and out. He doesn't know how far away you are. You looks like you're right here. What's happening? Stand by field of vision. But this is performative. They did it for a very specific reason

because the right at this point really believes in punitive impeachment. Yeah. And they think that their president was impeached twice because of punitive actions, not because of high crimes and misdemeanors. Right. Right.

Yeah. So they're going to keep doing this sort of thing with whoever. They've already tried to do with Joe Biden a couple of times. It hasn't made it out. No. But they've been trying, right? So they're going to keep trying to do this over and over

as long as they have control. This is your money. This is what they're wasting your money on. This is $3,500 a week for every single one of them. We're paying them to sit in a big room and vote on whether or not this guy, who's just doing his job with your funding,

the funding that they provide him. Yeah. He's doing that work. I don't like it. Give him better funding. Give him more stuff. That's what, that's literally what this border bill is, is to refund that area to give it more money

so that there can be more security like you want. But instead you're complaining about something that you won't even fix. They won't, yeah. You're pulling the plug on something that you won't even try to fix. And he's not, like, this is one of those things that you can just tell is done just for show. And it's going to be something they're going to go back to their constituency and say, look, we're hurting the people you don't like.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And this will play with a certain dumbass set of people who need this kind of vengeance-based performance, right? They need it. They need to see that their party can strike back after they feel so humiliated and aggrieved with the debacle that was the Trump administration. And your point is exactly right that we're paying these guys $3,500 a day to do this. We're also not getting other things done. So there are important things that need to be done. There's work that is not getting done because we are doing this instead. Huge. This is the least productive Congress. I think I read something that might be the least

productive Congress in American history. We're just simply not accomplishing anything. That's what we're paying for. We are paying for all the bills that are supposed to get passed to help everyday Americans to set policy, to provide aid, to establish relationships, to support our allies. That work is not getting done. establish relationships to support our allies. That work is not getting done. All of that work is sitting there being unfinished because we're dicking around with nothing, with nothing, with an impeachment that was never going to go anywhere, never had a chance of going anywhere

based on unconstitutional nonsense. This is trash. It's absolute trash. It should be what, we should see this for what it is, which is an embarrassment. Sure sure it's a genuine embarrassment i don't know maybe he's being funny no way uh-oh hot dog is not funny no maybe one time it's funny but recurring over and over like that? No freaking way. Too much. Yes! Uh-oh, hot dog!

Tom, I want to play this for you. Now, this week at Joel Osteen's church, Such a great picture. There was a shooting. Someone came in and shot someone. The picture of Joel Osteen is so funny. Joel Osteen here looks like Alfred E. Newman. So let me zoom in.

I'm sorry, guys. If you're just listening to this, the picture on the Raw story is one of those, you ever pause your TV and somebody looks like they're coughing up a hairball? Joel Austin looks, it's just the most unflattering photo of him in mid weird smile grimace. It's fucking hilarious.

It's genuinely amazing. It is him doing an Alfred E. Newman post. He looks like a mad magazine guy. So I want to play this video for you though, Tom. And I want to play it for the audience. I know that we're not on YouTube right now.

I want to play it for the audience though that's watching us on Patreon so you can see what this looks like. Because I'm going to tell you ahead of time Joel Osteen can't ever stop smiling he's essentially the Joker so he is stuck in this fucking

rictus of a smile the entire time he speaks and he can't talk about anything that's sad or because he's constantly smiling so you just have to see it first off thank Chief and the Mayor and Chief Henney or because he's constantly smiling. So you just have to see it. First off, thank Chief and the mayor and Chief Henney and all of these men and women did an amazing job. And it's just, you said it, Chief,

it could have been a lot worse. Of course, we're devastated. I mean, this- You guys, he's like, we're devastated. He's got a fucking grin. He's grinning. We're devastated. He totally, I mean, it's like he we're devastated. He's got a fucking grin. He's grinning. We're devastated. He totally, I mean, it's like he can't emote.

The only emotion he can show is smiling. It's creepy as hell. He walks up and he looks like he's like, just heard the funniest joke. It's seriously weird, right? The screen underneath, breaking news, Joel Osteen speaks after shooting at his Houston megachurch and he's grinning this weird, uncomfortable grin.

It's so odd. It's super odd. Something is broken in his brain, man. Let's watch a little more so you can see more of it. We've been here 65 years and have somebody shooting in your church, but we don't understand why all these things happen, but we know God's in control, and we're going to pray for that little five-year-old boy and pray for the lady that was deceased, her family and all, and

the other gentlemen. But I don't know, it's just kind of in a fog, but, you know, just believe that, you know, we're going to stay strong. We're going to continue to move forward. And there are forces of evil, but the forces that are for us, the forces of God are stronger than that. So we're going to... Now, let me ask you another question. Whoa. You're one of these people... Forces of evil are a boson nightmare.

That's all I can hear. So you're one of these people who's sitting around him. Do you have to give him an amen? It looks like the police chief was going to do it. They were. They were all nodding off. Oh, yeah. And the woman behind him looks like she's expecting deliverance from on high.

Really? I mean, this is such a weird press conference. This is the weirdest. Yeah. So, you guys, the grinning he's doing, the little chuckle, he's like, we haven't had a shooting here in 65 years. What do you know? You would have expected more of them. You know what's crazy about shootings? He's doing the little chuckle. He's like, we haven't had a shooting here in 65 years. What do you know? We should.

You know what's crazy about shootings? Whoa. Shootings? There's a preschool in the hospital. What's the deal with shootings? Oh, so weird. He's going to give his tight five on shootings. Crazy. It's just so weird, Tom.

It's so odd, man. It's so weird. And it feels like a Twilight Zone because he's stuck in this grift for his whole life. Yeah, he can't get out of this. He fucking, he rubbed that genie bottle and he said, make me a millionaire.

And the genie bottle was like, okay, curl that monkey paw over there real quick. You can't ever not smile. Preacher it is. You can't ever not smile. Preacher it is. You can't ever not smile. Everything that you talk about will make your fucking face contort into a Joker grin.

So weird, man. It's so, so incredibly unsettling. It could be that he's had a lot of work done. And it's just he can't put his cheeks down. I was actually wondering, like, has he had so much, has he had so much filler and so much face tighteners that he's just, it's really just more like when a chimpanzee pulls its, it's more of a bearing of the teeth than it is a grin.

Like if he was put in a chimp cage, it would bite his face off because it would feel threatened. Why are you threatening me all the time? What are you threatening me? Are you talking to me? I'm the only chimp here. Can you imagine him going on safari somewhere or whatever like all the animals

constantly attack him like god damn it Joel why are you baring your teeth at every fuck I can't not do it I'm sorry you gotta wear this

face mask you gotta wear this balaclava he's got a he's got a fucking he's got like a fucking ninja mask on his face

to cover his face cause he can't he can't walk in public without looking like fucking, he's got like a fucking ninja mask on his face to cover his face because he can't, he can't walk in public without looking. Like he's, he's getting, he's driving a car a hundred miles an hour. Is it live or is it Memorex? Just a little pin back.

He does look like the Memorex guy. His face all flopping. He's just constantly under G-force. Oh, it's amazing, dude. Here's what just occurred to me. He's the pastor of a mega church. Don't you think he's had to preside over funerals and shit? I imagine at a certain point you give that to the people below you.

Oh, your underlings. I don't think that dude's doing funerals anymore. Okay. Because he would be the same way at your funeral. You know, or like your, All right, here's Debbie. I knew Debbie. She died. She died.

She died a horrible, horrible death. When the cancer finally took her frail and weakened body. I can't stop smiling. What a fucking crazy person. God damn. God, man, he's fucking nuts. His O face has to look absolutely satanic.

His lips curl back over his head at that point. It just covers the entirety of it. He's like, he's like fucking scanners. His head blows up

and then reforms by morning. What the fuck? His fucking refractory period is his head regrowing afterwards. What the fuck? His fucking refractory period is his head regrowing afterwards. What the fuck, man? You are a weird, creepy dude. Oh, man.

All right, that's going to wrap it up for this week. I want to mention that if you didn't see us on YouTube, that's because we're not on YouTube. If you go to YouTube, you're going to see a video that I'm going to put up there that basically says we're not going to be there for a while. They reviewed our strike and they said that they thoroughly reviewed it and then they denied it. So at this point, we have a strike on our account until May. Tom and I are going to discuss the future of YouTube in the next couple of weeks, but we may wind up killing all of our YouTube stuff too.

If you're a person who watches on YouTube and you're not currently because we're not posting there and you're listening to this, send us a message. We'd kind of like to gauge that audience. Yeah, it'd be nice to know. Who's watching on YouTube and how many people are watching on YouTube because

we kind of might just get rid of it because it's such a thorn in our side to have to deal with YouTube and their algorithm that we may not go back. So just let us know. If you're one of those people who normally would catch us on YouTube but have to listen now and it's inconvenient for you,

let us know. Send us a quick message, dissonance.podcast.gmail.com. All right, that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with The Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble toil and trouble,

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