Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 795: Buying Donuts Like A Normal Person

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way, we bring critical thinking, skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at. Today is Thursday. It doesn't matter.

I don't know when you're listening to this. This is the funny show. It's next Thursday. So it'll be the third, maybe? Sure. You know what? Look, this is the funny show. This is not, it doesn't matter when this stuff happens.

It does not matter. Look, when the, when the fucking man bites the dog, are you checking your fucking watch to see what time it is? No, we're having a good time. We're gonna have a good time today having a good time So start having a good time at the donut shop this story comes from the New Republic. I fucking love this Tim Walls trolls JD Vance by buying donuts like a normal human person I love that that what we've come to is if you do a normal thing like a normal person that is Jadie Vance literally cannot act like a normal human in any fucking single situation

Did you see him try to complain about the price of eggs? When he stood so he's standing in front of the price of eggs and he's complaining is saying they're they're very expensive and then behind him They're on sale. Less than he's complaining the amount. He's holding a flat of eggs, which is two dozen eggs. And he's complaining that a dozen eggs cost $4 while holding two dozen eggs in front of a sign that says eggs are $2.99.

You're too many, JD. What is happening in your life? More eggs better, more eggs, more eggs. Cost more for you. Small chicken embryos for to be eating. Wouldn't it be amazing if he just fucking like one handed cracked two of them and just opened them right in his mouth? It would be even better if he just put one in his mouth

and chewed it. He didn't chew the shell at all. You know what would be amazing? He puts it in his mouth, it stays in there for a second, and then he ejects the unbroken shell and there's nothing in it. Like Fabergé style.

It's like a fucking, it's like a fucking magic trick, right? He's like that Blaine guy he just puts in his mouth, comes out. It'd be fucking amazing, man. Oh my God. God, this guy, he's such a like, he's such a person who is so disconnected from other people.

And I was thinking about his interactions at the donut shop that he had. When he had these interactions, he walked up to somebody and he says, he says he says Song you worked here and they say oh Six months he said okay good How long you worked? And then he goes to the next person and they tell him he's okay good

And then he's like I'll just take you know a lot of glazed Two dozen a lot of glazed whatever makes sense Is to order food as whatever makes sense. Because it's like, I do not know how many donuts the humans purchase. Whatever is the requisite donut volume. Put in my basket of taking aways. Check your instruction manual to see. But here's the thing. I have been in so many different establishments

where I trust the person who is serving the food. Sure. So I've said to people who've come to my table as waiters or waitresses, and I've said, can you recommend something? Or you know what, can you surprise me with something off the menu? You know, that's happened to me multiple times. I've gone into places of business like this and

been like, you know, I'll take, can you just put a box of your bestsellers together for me or something like that? That's a perfectly rational and fine thing to do. That is not what he did. That is like, that's it. That's a really kind thing to do too, because it says like, hey, I trust your judgment. I know that I can trust the food. Like, just being like, because he so doesn't care about what he's getting. That's really the message. He's like, I'm just here for the photo op.

So like, whatever you want to put in a fucking bag, I don't give a shit, I'm gonna give it to the staffers. I don't care that I'm here. It's also like, and I don't really want to shame him too hard, but I do. You know, if you ever read any advice on how to like talk on a date, for example, or have small talk, it's all the same advice. You don't ask closed ended questions because there's nothing left for you to do once it's answered.

They just say it and then you're done. See, so how long have you worked here? Okay, good. There's nothing for you to do. Instead you say, hey, you know, this is a great donut shop that you've got here. What do you like about working here at the donut shop? That's a great way to say it. That's a great question.

You give them... I don't like anything. I hate my job. I hate my life. Fucking everything. I like the paycheck. No matter what they say to that though, that gives you something you can jump back into.

You know, like there are so many, and it takes some practice to get used to asking open versus closed ended questions. But he's a fucking politician, man. I was gonna say that. You know, the thing, Tom, is that I was gonna identify more with JD Vance because I've been to live shows.

I've been to Reason Con and other places. I don't have a great method of communication with people I don't know. If I know you, I can have a great conversation with you. But I'm not a, I'm an extrovert. I'm an introvert. So it's really hard for me to have these very public, very extroverted moments in my life. I have to work really hard in those moments to try not to say things that I think are

Janey Vance-y. Okay, good. Right? But I'm not running for Vice-Fucking-President of the United States, man! Look, you just have to be good at that stuff. It's kissing babies and shaking hands. He's gonna shake a baby and kiss a hand. Oh, okay, good, okay, good.

Oh God, he's stuck on shaking mode. Give the baby back, Jeannie. He's still shaking the baby. Oh God, he's shaking. He's got one in each hand! He's got maracas! He's trying to suck an egg out of that lady! Jesus Christ! You will take my ovipositor!

Oh God! But hold on though, let's talk about Tim. We gotta talk about Tim. So here's what Tim does, and here's the difference. First of all, Tim is not just straight up using the place he goes to, right? So like, JD Vance knows nothing about the place he's going and he's not prepared to have a conversation. He's got no idea what's happening. Tim Walz walks in. He knows the local specialty in this part of town in fucking Nebraska or wherever they're at is the, I don't remember. It doesn't matter. It's

like, you know, the horseshoe fritter or some bullshit, right? Whatever it is. And he's like, oh God, you know, whenever you're, if you're out this way, guys, you've got to try the fucking horseshoe fritter. This goddamn thing is delicious. Hey, tell me more. Did you guys come up with this recipe? Where'd this come from? He's asking questions. He's interested. He's knowledgeable. He's connecting on a level that like gives these people a little bit of a commercial, right? It gives the owner of this business a little bit of a commercial. Right, it gives the owner of this business a little bit of a commercial. It gives the owners of the business

something to be proud of. Something that says like, I know a little bit about you before I got here. It took the five minutes, that's all it is. The five minutes to ask a staffer to Google this, even if he didn't know it ahead of time, right? It's a nothing burger ask, but it makes it more human. And then he just knows how to talk to people

because he was, I don't know, a teacher. And then he was like legitimately an actual politician and not a bought and paid for Peter Thiel fucking plant like JD Vance is. So like, it's just this real honest human space that he shares with somebody. It couldn't be more different, man. I think it's great.

And I think, you know, like this is the difference between the two people. I mean, when you look at Trump the other day, he walked into an, uh, like a bodega or something. Did you see this? No, what? It was either it was some kind of like, you know, all in New York City, they have these small tiny places. It might not have been a actual bodega But it was like a tiny little market. Yeah, it's probably about a walks in and he's he handed some

I lose season shit who was fucking Buying her grossy groceries. He gave her $100. He's like, here you go You're gonna get a lot more later on when we you know lower Very very of the people thing to do but also what a weirdo also just such the people thing to do. But also, what a weirdo. Also just such a weird thing to do, right? Like that's a genuine, and I think that that's the real problem. And that's also, I mean, if you think about it, this is the difference between these people. There's two guys who have no idea what it's like

to be a normal person. And then there's two people who know exactly what it's like to be a normal person, who knows exactly what it's like to look at your checking account at the end of the month and be like oh fuck yeah you know there's it there's two people on one side of that and like the Trump thing is not generous yeah right it's not generous it's a this means nothing to me yeah gesture that's what that it's a prop it's a prop I would like to use you as a prop yeah and I

would and it's it should never be confused It's using someone it's using someone's you know Poverty is a prop. Yeah, that's that's that's gross. It's fucking gross. I Just comes from fortune Donald Trump is selling $100 coins, but the silver they're made of is only worth $30 He looks like a little rascal. He does look like... Oh, you caught me. Oh, you caught me.

Yeah, I can't read this because it's behind the paywall. It's behind the paywall. It literally doesn't matter. It's another fucking grift. This is Trump, Cyrus, coins. Everybody's been trying to grift off Trump since he became the nominee even no one more so than Trump. So than him, you're absolutely right. I mean, he's grifted with a charity that had to get closed down.

He's grifted all the time with all these other things that he's trying to do. He's grifted with his sneakers, like his fucking stupid gold plated asshole sneakers and then his cards and his stupid NFTs. His stupid NFTs. And then his stock. Well, and then like, yeah, his dumb ass stock that's now worth like next to nothing. It's going to be a goddamn penny stock. Should we look? Let's look at it.

Let's look at it, Tom. Oh, God, this is my thing. Last time, last time it was at 16. 16 or change, yeah. Yeah, let's see where it is. 13. 13.98! Fuck you! Or change. Yeah. Yeah, let's see where it is 13 It's still going down and if you look at this if you look at the way this thing is going down

Let's do a month and see The month is the best because it starts out at 22 and then it's like it's like the best because it starts out at 22 and then it's like, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I love this. It actually went down to 1215. That was the lowest. Do you know why? Because on September 23rd, that was the cutoff day where technically by law he was allowed to sell his shares and everybody was like, he's going to dump the shares. And so they, they dumped their shares and it rallied back up to 1398. That's from like a high, a six month high of almost $70. Yeah.

Well, at a year, the highest point, like you said, is $66. So yeah. Yeah. God, it's so fun. And now it's went from 67. So all those fucking Trump loving chuckle fucks, the idiots who were driving around their fucking lifted rolling coal trucks with their flags whipping around in the background,

their dumb ass fucking gold plated idiot sneakers, and they got the fucking NFTs and the spokes of their dumb ass tires or whatever. Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. It just makes the sound of something going down a drain. And they've got the fucking like little scrap of Trump suit that he's selling to the gullible. And then they're like these same people like, well, I bought these stocks my whole life savings.

I bought these stocks. $67 a share. Yeah, man. And I lost 80% of the fucking value. You came in early and you bought them for like 35. You're still, you're still well under half. You've lost so much money. You're so underwater.

Well, like, you know, when you Google the DJT thing, one of the first things that comes up, like if you look at any of like the financial gambling problem, it's like, is like their profit line is like negative 2000% in that company. It's negative. I'm not even exaggerating. Does Devon still have a job? Dude, actually call it up. I don't want people to think I'm exaggerating.

Google DJT stock, because I do this regularly and then scroll down a little bit. And it usually appears, yeah, quarterly financials on the right hand side. Just keep Google, go scrolling. So quarterly financials, let me read this to you guys. This is their, I'm gonna read their year over year

percentages and their whole dollar values. June, 2024 revenue, $836,000, go call it $837,000 in revenue. That's down 30% year over year. Net income, the net income, negative $16.37 million for a net profit margin of negative 1,955.79%. It feels like a lot. It's just so much money.

That's so much money, their total net income is a negative $16 million on an income profit of under a million dollars. They're making $2,000 negative, 2,000% negative profit. This isn't a company. Yeah, no, this is nothing. This is like a money laundering scheme. That's what that is. What does have, who looks at these financials and it's like, Oh, that is my, that's my pony.

Hey Martha, get all the money off that fucking couch cushions. That isn't even penny stock worthy. It's fucking trash. It's trash. It's from entertainment weekly. Guy Fieri was mistaken for the bartender and told to get back to work while hanging out at Sylvester Stallone's house. Now, I don't know anything about Guy Fieri except for what I've seen on TV, right? So like, I have no idea. Some of these cooks have some bad background in their backgrounds and like,

sometimes there's some controversy. I didn't, I don't think there is any with him, but you know, in any case, I don't know. It's actually the exact opposite. But what I've known of him is the exact opposite, right? He seems to do charity work. He seems like a nice guy. He seems like a down to earth dude. And one of the things that lets me know that is this story. Cause he didn't get mad. He was just like, ah, he like had a joke with the person afterwards and they're like, oh, I'm sorry.

And he just made it. He just thought it was funny. He's just like, yeah, it's funny. That's funny. He was just like at this event, Sylvester Stallone's house and like he was cooking at the event. And so he was dressed pretty casually. And it sounds like he dresses casually anyway.

And the fucking caterer director was like, hey, take off that fucking stupid jacket and get back behind the bar, chucklehead. And he was like, I actually like, I'm a guest here. I'm not at work for you And then I just fucking love this I love that he was chill about it and that is the same as everything I've read is that like he does a whole bunch

Of charitable work. I don't think there's ever been a scandal about Guy Fieri and he's the butt of like every joke He is but you know, but he's a super sweet, dude. So he has an amazing job, right? God, I know. And wouldn't you kill for that job? I would fucking kill somebody for this job. Drive around in hot rods, right? Wear flame shirts. I don't care what you'll dress.

It doesn't matter, right? I would dress like Anthony Malcori if I was going to do this. Who the hell is that? Anthony Malcori ran a show that Sarah and I used to watch that was a hotel impossible or something like that. I forget what it is to watch that was a hotel impossible or something like that. I forget what it is, but he was a hotel manager, but he had the nattiest suits I've ever seen. And he always wore a three piece every day, no matter what, he was always in a three piece suit. And so, but he had the greatest suits, genuinely the greatest suit.

That's awesome. But in any case, you know, dress how you want, drive around in hot rods and get to go to really unpretentious places and meet really unpretentious people about very local food and chat to them about what they do and how they came up with this idea. And then you get to talk to like very, again, very unpretentious people there to buy the big giant beef stick or whatever it is they're eating. And then you get to try whatever it is they have. And then you get to go on to the next place.

And I think that that is such a, what an amazing job. But also, like I say, so unpretentious. And this is, and for him to just, I don't know, man. I think this guy is like, he's pretty dope. Dude, he's awesome. It's so funny to me, cause like he's become the Nickelback of food. And I don't know man, I think this guy is like, he's pretty dope. Dude, he's awesome. It's so funny to me, cause like he's become the Nickelback of food, and I don't know why.

Like, cause Nickelback, I understand, that's a bad band. I feel like people are just jealous. It's gotta be. Cause it's a fucking amazing job. Maybe it's the frosted tips or whatever, I don't know. He's got bad hair. People stay in their own, you know, like I think there's a certain point in your life

where you reach a place and you're like, this is my style. Yeah, this is what I look. And I don't do anything else now. This is what I you reach a place and you're like, this is my style. Yeah. This is what I look and I don't do anything else now. This is what I look like now and I don't know how to change it. I'm not going up or down or leaving this style or whatever. Sometimes people try to break out of it, especially in their midlife, they'll try to break out of it. But for the most part, this is your stuff.

If you were emo in your thirties, you're probably going to be emo forever. Okay. If you're emo in your thirties, you are hard committing to emo forever. So, so, you know, you just, you, you're a hard-combed emo forever. So you just stick with it. You just roll with it. And I think he hit that point and he's like, this is me. I'm the fire shirt guy.

I'm the guy who wears a fire bowling shirt and I wear a fire bowling shirt everywhere. That's what I do. He bought them all out. He bought the fucking warehouse. They don't sell fire bowling shirts anymore. I used to wear, back in the day, I used to wear, they used to have like these colorful bowling shirts. I had bowling shirts. And I liked them.

They were nice. They were comfortable. I'll tell you what, when I was heavier, a bowling shirt, I fancied it as being more flattering. I don't know that it was. Probably wasn't. But I fancied it that way. It's a big sack. It's a real big sack.

It is a big sack. It's a big sack. But they were comfortable. And that's why I liked them, Because they were comfortable at the time. And I was like, oh, this is great. And I had one with like a big dragon on it that I liked. Yeah, I remember that shirt. It was red and had this big Chinese dragon on it.

I was like, I like that shirt. That's a cool looking shirt. And there was several of them that I owned that I liked quite a bit. I was like, I like these. But then they just went out of style. And I was like, I'm just never going to... You'll never be able to buy them. And then they just wear out. So throw them out. They went out of style. And then two years after they went out of style and I was like, I'm just never gonna, then you'll never be able to buy them and then they just wear out, so throw them out. They went out of style and then two years after they went out of style, I realized that is out of style.

That's me too. I'm just like, wait, no one's wearing the bowling shirt anymore. Yeah, why couldn't they? What's popular now is the bowling shoes. Like, why couldn't those two things be popular at the same time? Then we could all go bowling and it'd be fine. Why couldn't you all just do that? I'm just fucking strike it out. I have all these spare shoes. This term comes from Huffington post. Pastor claims witchcraft is to blame for Donald Trump's bad to bait. Sure, man. That's what it is.

Lance wall knew let's well, you got to read what Lance says here. That's what it is. Lance Wall knew let's while you got to read what Lance says here. So this it's more. So I got to show more. So it's a longer tweet than just whatever is shown on the thing. So here we go. All right. So he's responding to some guy who says Kamala is quite effectively baiting Trump talking about his rallies using words like disgrace, deploying long debunked hoaxes like fine people, poking at his inherited wealth, telling him that world leaders are laughing at him. He needs to break out of this frame. All right.

So Lance Wallnew responds. When I say witchcraft, I'm talking about what happened tonight. Occult power, deception, manipulation and domination. That's what ABC pulled off as moderators and Kamala's script handlers set up the kill box. One-sided questions and fact checking sealed the box. Witchcraft, it's not over yet, but something supernatural needs to disrupt

this counterfeit momentum because the same public that voted in Obama is voting again and her deception is advancing. Man, I think everything that he is the quiet part out loud for him is the same public that voted in Obama is voting again. Now notice he went to Obama not to bite. Sure. He's going back to black people because she's black and he said, well, she's only black recently. She only recently became black.

I mean, let's not go crazy. I forgot. I forgot she's only recently became... I don't know what she's calling herself. Jesus Christ, what the fuck? But like, he calls back to Obama to say, black people are gonna vote if we don't do something. That's really what he's saying. If we don't act now and put up such unfavorable

and shitty candidates that no one wants to vote for us, then black people are going to get involved in the electorate. And do we want that? Do we want? Do we want that? Witchcraft wielding black people, guys? Is there anything scarier than black people with curses? This week, one of these senators had to pull his tweet down where he fucking called the

Haitian people dirty, gross, and full of voodoo or whatever. Yeah, dude. And there's a motion to censure him on the floor. Good! Good! Yeah. It's so racist, man. They should wrap him by the back collar and his fucking belt loops

and throw him physically out of the fucking building. That we don't do that is a fucking disgrace. I listened to, like a reporter asked some colleague, and you know, some Republican colleague, you know like, hey, what about that? I'm trying to remember the fucking guy's name. I don't remember his name. I don't know his name.

It got taken down, I can't even find it now. Yeah, like I read a story about it, and like, I can't remember the name. I don't, it got taken down. I can't even find it. Yeah. But like I read a story about it and like, I can't remember the fucker's name, but he tweeted this or yeah, he tweeted this horrible shit and this fucking Republican, they asked him about it. And he's like, Hey, like, what are we going to do about your horrible reprehensible racist fucking colleague? And he's from like Louisiana and he's like, Oh, I know him.

He's a great guy. Friend of mine. You know, he took the tweet down and I think it's fine. And it's like, no, no, you's a great guy, friend of mine, you know, he took the tweet down and he gets fine. And it's like, no, you don't get to say racist shit and then be like, oh, but I did, I did a take, he's back to his, no, now I know who you are. Yeah. Now I know who you are. Throw him out, censure him and throw and get him unelected, just like that fucking guy that Steve guy from fucking Iowa. Yeah, Steve King Steve King who got his fucking he got his fucking ass pounded when he said there

What what what's white nationalist? I'm a white man Yes, and then they immediately said that's a terrible thing to say you can't say things anymore I bet if somebody said that right now, it would be fine. I bet you're right be fine I bet you would be fucking fine. It's nothing I mean like Marjorie Taylor Gre green showed fucking revenge porn on a fucking laptop Yeah in on the floor the I'm surprised. This is even happen. I'm surprised. This is I don't think it'll go anywhere Yeah, I'm surprised. This is even yeah, one of the things that I saw from the debates that was circulating Was this comment and it might have been Trump who said it or it might have been some of these people?

Apologists after the fact who were saying that she had gotten the questions ahead of time. Oh my God. I was just like, dude, if you fucking did six seconds of research, you know what they're going to ask. Thank you. It's not like there's carnax holding a fucking envelope up to his head. All you have to do is know, what are the most important things

that people are asking right now? I will practice those things. That's it. If you prepare, it doesn't matter. I never understood this. They leaked the questions to him. Like, you don't have to. Everybody knows what the questions are gonna be.

Dude, that shit is so stupid. I also saw some bullshit about like, she had like fucking earrings and her earrings were really like a Broadcaster to people that were feeding her the answers and I'm like she didn't have an it wasn't like a fucking like spelling bee Right like it's a charity right? Yeah, what like that there was defy. Oh, that was the right answer It's because doesn't that mean can I have a I'm gonna buy a vol can I? right answer is because doesn't that mean can I have a I'm gonna buy a vol can I because like seriously if somebody's feeding her the answers doesn't it doesn't there doesn't the right then have to concede that that was the right

answer yeah you're absolutely right no you're absolutely right they have to say well that's what they're feeding her and that's the right answer to that question and she's the better politician that and at least even if she's not the better at least she's got people on her team who know the right answer. You guys don't know the answer! And he didn't prepare at all for that. No!

And he's also chickening out. Did you see this? He's not going to do another debate. He's chickening out of the debate and they said Fox News even came out and they said, well, it's actually Trump's camp who won't agree to the Fox News debate. So he had said. Baby. He said, well, it'll be, she won't come on Fox News. And everybody was like, well, she should go on Fox News because it's hostile territory, et cetera, et cetera.

Like, why do you want hostile? What do you want as hostile? Any, in any case, she's willing to do it. Yeah. I love that like Fox News is genuinely unhinged partisan bullshit. We know it so much, right? That during the fucking, like the January 6th riots, fucking pundits talking heads from Fox News were literally text messaging Mark Meadows, like, hey, you've got to get this

guy to stop. That's how embedded and partisan Fox News is. When like fucking ABC or whatever it was, was like, actually there is no law that lets you murder a baby once it's outside the woods. Not a thing. Like, what do you just like, like reality is hostile to the right. Just, just true reality things. Like actually, you know, there is not a group of, of, of migrants eating ducks straight out of the pond, like fucking duck sushi or whatever.

What I love too is that every time they fact check them, they're like, they're fact checking them like, well, he's saying lies then. Yeah, I know. Like he's saying lies though. It's not even just like, I think this will make, this will be a better economic decision. You can't fact check that, right? But like, if you say like, there is a meteor that has landed on my head and is currently spinning three inches above my right ear, I'd be like, that just isn't happening, man.

I'm looking at your fucking ear ball, dude. It's not fair. Well, and then there's this constant, there's a bunch of people who want to attack and say that she brought up a conspiracy theory that he said there was very fine people on both sides. But he did say that, but then he had to walk it back. But he had to walk it back, and when he walked it back, he was basically saying, I wasn't talking about the Nazis,

I was talking about the guys who were hanging out with the Nazis. And then you're like, but those aren't very fine people either. Because when there's, you know, one Nazi at a table with nine other guys, there's 10 Nazis, man. So you can't, you can't differentiate between, oh, I wasn't talking about the Nazis. I was just talking, I was just saying that on the other side of that, there was very fine people. Like, no, no, oh, I wasn't talking about the Nazis. I was just talking, I was just saying on the other side of that, there was very fine people. Like, no, no, no, there wasn't.

There was Nazis there. So there could, there, by definition, there could not be very fine people on that side. But they wanna walk it back and say that that's the case. But they keep on saying, well, you changed it. You went back on it. He wasn't talking about that. But that's still a thing. Look, if I walk it back, that doesn't changed it. He went back on it. He said he wasn't talking about that, but that's still like, look, if I, if I walk

it back, it doesn't mean it didn't happen. Right. Like, like apologizing for it doesn't change the thing that happened before. Like clarifying that I meant something that I obviously didn't mean when I said it's like when JD Vance, like when JD Vance said, yeah, sometimes I'll just make some shit up to get attention. And they're like, wait, what? And he's like, no, what I need to say is bring it to public's attention. What I meant to say was something different because when I say it out loud,

it does sound like a bunch of, let's say, okay, hold on. Let me flip through this human instruction manual. Oh, do you have an egg? This story comes from news.com.au. Ray Gun ranked world number one after Paris Olympics controversy. I think it's this is a Bode McBow face moment where people are just like, they're like, okay, come on now. We got to play a picture of her doing her routine. So here we go. Here's her doing a routine What is she doing this one? She's doing it with?

With Richard Branson Branson. So she's I guess she's either on maybe she on a virgin crew. She's not a virgin cruise Oh my god. Oh Man, oh my god. Oh Oh man. Oh my God. Oh. Look at all this guys. Oh, Ray Gun. Ray Gun's the best.

Come on. Ray Gun's the best. Oh, I love it. Oh, I hope she does that fish out of the water thing. Do the thing in the water where they're bouncing. No, this is something different. No, I don't know what that is. Now we went to a different TikTok.

I moved, I shut it off. But yeah, so she's essentially just, you know, now rank number one. I think, I wonder if this is, I don I moved, I shut it off. But yeah, so she's essentially just, you know, now ranked number one. I think, I wonder if this is one of those things where people are just making her number one because it's really funny. I don't know how the ranking works.

I have no idea. Did you watch any of the break dancing? I watched all of it. So did you, some of it. It was amazing. I literally watched all of it. So did you see, some of it? It was amazing. I literally watched all of it for men and women. So some of it was absolutely stunning, crazy stuff that was happening. But because of the way it's an artistic performance, so just like some of them just didn't make

it because they didn't do all the things that they were supposed to do. And I'd seen this on Reddit, there's a bunch of threads after it. And a bunch of people were saying, yeah, you can go out there and do a the things that they are supposed to do. And I had seen this on Reddit, there's a bunch of threads after it, and a bunch of people were saying, yeah, you can go out there and do a shit ton of these power moves that are really amazing, that they're wow moves, where these people are doing like, with just their hands, they're doing the helicopter or something like that.

And they say, yeah, you could do that stuff, but if you don't incorporate aspects of the song and do some dancing and do some footwork and stuff, they'll just be like, yeah, you did a good job, but it's not what we're looking for. Yeah, because a very specific thing. They have a scoring like every Olympic sport. There's a scoring scale and Reagan scored zero. She scored zero on everything.

And she's number one. And she's number one. Well, like I did like a bunch of reading because I was like, how did she get here? How, who sent her here? Who was like, that's our fucking pony. It's not like you can just decide, oh, I'm competing in the Olympics on Thursday. I'll see you guys there.

Your country's gotta do something about that. So like, I've read like two articles on how she made her way there. And at first there was this conspiracy theory that like the judge was her husband. That's nothing. That's nothing that never happened. I still don't understand because like, like she won these tournaments, man.

She won like more than one tournament in like the Oceania tournament of fine breakdancing or whatever the fucker of division is. And that's how she ends up going. And I'm like, who competed against her? Some people had speculated too, that the reason why she was, she did really well in these other things and she was actually really talented.

The reason why she did this on the main stage was because she's a cultural professor and she's upset that they're using break dancing and she was there to sort of, this was like a protest thing. So I saw people suggest that, but I never heard her say that. Yeah, because I listened to an interview with her. So I never heard her suggest that, but I saw a lot of people ascribing this to her

as if like, well, she clearly had a plan because she's so fucking bad. I have to explain this some way. Dude, it's, it is seriously, I did the same, immediately after watching her performance, before I even knew that this was gonna be like a viral thing because we watched it right away. I was actually really excited to watch Breaking.

I was like, I think Breakdancing is really cool. Like, Haley and I watched all the gymnastics, all the rhythm gymnastics, because she loves that stuff, and the breaking. That's what we watched for the Olympics. And I'm like, how? How did she do it? Like, still can't figure it out.

I still don't know. I'm gonna play this here. I'm gonna play this just for everybody. So here we go, guys. This is a TikTok that was going around and was pretty viral when this just happened. So this is not her, but it is very funny. My name is Rachel Gunn,

but my main peeps know me as Ray Gunn. I think what people don't understand about breaking is that it's not just a dance, it's not just a sport, it's a lifestyle. When you're a big girl like me, there's no days off. One minute I might be making a sandwich and the next time I'm hitting the sprinkler, or I'm rolling around on the floor,

you know, it just comes over me. I have a PhD in dance culture, so legally that makes me good at it. Uh, good at dance. Breaking represents life. So for example, when I hit my signature kangaroo move, kangaroo, Australia, ray gun, a lot of people miss that. I'm actually a professor and I teach about the cultural politics of breakdancing and breaking was

invented by African American teens in New York City in the 1970s. So I thought who better to represent that culture than me? Ray Gunn. People are saying I was appropriating dance culture because I'm a white woman. But here's the thing. When you've already decolonized dance, as I have done, you can't then recolonize it. It cancels out. I was standing. I was going, I was, I was viral when she, when she was so good. I feel like this is going to be me when I'm old. It's going to be a hundred percent.

This comes from WesternTelegram.co.uk. Man stabbed himself to death separating frozen burgers. It's the worst. Where is it from here, Tom? This is from... Where the fuck is this from? Is this name... Okay, he's got a flat. It's a guy named Barry Griffiths. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's in fucking... We got to get fucking Marsh to come on and pronounce this. All right, he's got a flat in the engine.

Dodd-well, you know, it's not pronounced like that. You know that they don't pronounce the first half of that word when they slurred it all together to be a slurred all together in the mush. It's probably like Lucian. It's probably like Leanne for us. And like there's an inquest that punty pippards coroners This is all made-up shit. Come on. He's a fucking like not real. No, he's a fucking hobbit in the Shire That's what he is a hobbit in the Shire killed himself or guy. He's got a he's got frozen burgers. He's hungry

He wants to eat I can see how this anything He's using a sharp knife and I think he's pulling it toward himself. Yep. And then it just slips and hits him. Here's pro tip. What you need to do with the burgers is separate them. Just use a butter knife. A butter knife has the same exact type of... Leveraging. Leveraging that you would need.

And there's literally no way you can hurt... I mean, you can hurt yourself with it, but you can't kill yourself with it. You could also use a spatula for this. You could also just let the burgers sit for 10 minutes. Okay. Maybe even put them in the microwave for a minute and then just they'd separate the... You know, there's a lot of other things you could do. You could even use a tong, you know? And then the tong's got that extra piece on there to do the twisting. So it might even twist easier There's lots of ways to do this without a sharp knife. You don't use a sharp knife for this I have seen how I die and it is this exact way. I'll be hungry. I'll be impatient

I've got like I'm holding the burger thing against my fucking chest It's always a great idea because it works for the first one. You're like, this is right. This is popping. And then it's going to slip and it's going to go in there. And then you go to a little, it's a little more frozen, a little more. And then you slip and then you stab yourself essentially. And the worst part is you didn't get your burger. Yeah.

That's the worst part about dying like that. If I die hungry, oh, I'm going to die mad. See, so I'm going to die mad. See, so I'm going to die. So mad if I die hungry, this is like a, this is a Tom thing though. This is absolutely be like, Oh, I was just trying to get a burger. Uh, now I'm up here hanging out with fucking beetle juice or whatever. Just a little fucking waiting room. Sister comes from NBC news officials probe death of Wells Fargo employee found in her cubicle four days after last scanning into work. Jesus Christ.

Now, all right, it sounds bad, but she scanned in early Friday morning. So two of those days were Saturday, Sunday. But I do like to believe that if I fucking died because like she didn't scan out for lunch or anything, she scanned in in the morning. And then she died at some point, fucking four days later. Poor guy with that red stapler from office. And I think she had a cubicle. Yeah, it's not like she had like,

you could understand it. You could understand it if they had a private office in a place that you wouldn't go. Yeah, I had a private office when I had understand it if they had a private office in a place that you wouldn't go. Yeah, I had a private office when I had an office before I got work from home. Legitimately, I could work late, say goodbye to everybody, die in the office, for real, and then Monday if my office door was shut, nobody would knock on that door. They wouldn't think you're in. They would just think I wasn't there.

The lights are motion sensor activated. I could be dead in there for a fucking better part of a week. Yeah, I mean, until they start to stink. Until they start smelling. And the other thing too is like, where I used to work, we had a department that didn't have,

we were kind of this sort of department that we were small at first and then we got bigger because we had another department fold into us. But then we had to take over two different spaces, right? One up north, one in the south, because we had another department fold into us, but then we had to take over two different spaces, right? One up north, one to the south, because we had two campuses. And so there's like this weirdness where you're trying to fit everybody in these different places.

And so in the downtown area where I worked, nobody came in down there. They all worked in like the northern part. So I was the only one who worked in the downtown campus and I could be in there by myself for four or five days at a time. Sure. By yourself. No, but and those, the people who work there, they had offices that shut. Easy. That's easy. This person is in a cubicle. A cubicle, man. A cubicle is the thing that gets me

where you're just like, somebody's walking by like, man, that's, that's rank. What's going on? and I look at him and I'm like, man, that's rank. What's going on? Oh, there's fucking Sarah sleeping at her desk again. Like when you die, you lose all muscle tension because you're fucking dead. Do you not fall out of your chair? Maybe you get lucky, you know, sometimes your center of gravity

won't make you fall completely out. Maybe they fall backwards this way. I still think you'd look dead. I still think you'd look not normal, man. Maybe they're just very exasperated at their work normally. Like your neck would be all in a weird angle and shit. Like you'd be like... Yeah, you look like a horror movie no matter what. What they don't say in this article is like on fucking Tuesday,

she had a meeting this weekend at Bernie's. They're in there to try to close the deal. This is so many scenes. Don't worry. She'll sign the papers. Yeah. She's going to sign him. Hello. Hello.

Like marionette around. Woof. So this is fucking what W USA convicted Capitol writer arrested for trying to bite police officer at Aaron Lewis concert. This is what happens when you take a bite out of crime and it tries to break back. I think that's what happens. So like this person was convicted and they were like awaiting sentencing. They were on a bail, whatever it was.

I don't remember. It doesn't even matter. They go to a fucking Aaron Lewis concert. They don't evidently have tickets to the concert because the cops get called because they're trespassing. Sure. So like you can only go to the concert if you have tickets or you can only go into the fucking Capitol building

if they're not in fucking session and you're not rioting. I have a feeling this person has a history of this. Yes. Yeah, and then they get caught. they get caught and they fucking flip shit and bite the officer's leg. Man, there's no better way to catch a baton to the fucking teeth than biting an officer's leg. All I know about anything in life is like, if I get arrested, one, it's going to

hurt because I'm Sue. I've thought about this. I am the most inflexible person you've ever met. Putting my arms behind my back to handcuff me is gonna fucking tear my rotator cuff. There is a 0% chance that can be done. It's not gonna be done and it's not gonna be done lightly. They don't do it lightly. So like if I get arrested, I'm just like, I have to resign myself to tearing at least one rotator cuff in that process. There's no way. Like certainly your shirt too. Yeah, it's gonna suck so bad. Like it's terrible.

But I'm also a hundred percent sure I'm not resisting. That doesn't mean I won't get beat up, but it does mean I won't 100% get beat up. I know that if you resist at all, they're gonna kick the shit out of you. That's how this works. It's terrible. It's not right, but it's fucking true.

Well, and nothing worse than, you know, there's nothing they treat worse than contempt a cop. Yeah, man. You know, there's nothing they treat worse than that. I love this story. KTLA, eight-year-old Ohio girl drove to Target and went shopping. You guys, she didn't just grab the car and pop right down the road. No, it's not like around the corner. This is a 10 mile, 20 to 25 minute drive.

25 minute drive through busy traffic. She drove the fucking, like the family's like, where's the fucking map of it? They have a Google map. They have a Google map It's 20. It's 24 minutes 11 miles in a car Depending on how you go 22 minutes. It's 13 miles this way Craziness just crazy like it's dude It's like I think it's 24 minutes if she took the fucking expressway if she took 460 if she takes i-460 Presumably she didn't pop out of the fucking Expressway if she took 460 if she takes I 460 presuming she didn't pop out of the fucking Expressway

She's driving 14 miles or thereabouts 22 minutes in the car. She's eight That's a fucking third grader man amazing man. That's a little kid That's amazing and then like got there and started shopping. Yeah, what? What? Do you have your fucking credit card with you? You got Apple Pay on your phone? What is happening? What? I'd like the like the parents are like, where's my kid? They call the cops. The cops are like, well, I don't know. Is it this one that's wandering around target by yourself? Because like that stands out like a sore thumb when an eight-year-old just like twirling her fucking car keys around her finger

Whistling maybe pushing a shopping cart like way over her head. Yeah, this is some home alone shit What if you could like at that age see if you could get another shopper to push you around? Have you ever tried to run away when you're a kid did you try no no no did no, no. Did you? Uh, I don't remember doing it, but my buddy, uh, had a story about him leaving when he was five. Oh getting that like being mad and leaving the house But then this is also back in the day too where your parents would just let you go, right? So like nowadays, I don't know that this would happen. But back then she's like, all right. Well, we got to pack you a bag That's what they did. That's what Haley's parents did. They helped pack a suitcase.

Her mom didn't took her picture. So there's actually a picture of Haley, like looking all mad with like a suitcase and like walking up the door. Let's let's do this kid, too. He walked out and then they just let him go. Yeah, this is a different time. How far did the kid get? I don't know exactly.

Not far enough to because he still had parents. He wasn't an orphan when I met him So clearly he didn't get that far But yes, I've heard stories of kids doing that like they do that you know they throw a tantrum enough to where I'm leaving the house and they 100 expect it percent expect that the parents to do it but our parents of our generation were like, okay Yeah, great. Great. Get your shit. That's cool because Carson's on in a few minutes and I want to watch. So get it going. Let's get it going. Well, it kind of works too because like, I think kids think you're not going to call their bluff. Yeah, it's just probably deflating. It's like, as soon as you walk out the door, like there were times in my life that I think I thought

about leaving, but then I would always be like, but there's nowhere to go. Where do you go? Like I don't have anything and nobody likes me that much. Like I'm not like gonna like knock on my friend's door because live here now. It's not, I knew that wasn't how that worked. Yeah. I, I had a really bad fight with my dad when he was, when I was a junior in high school. My dad was pretty abusive and he was an alcoholic and he, he beat me up when I was a junior in high school. My dad was pretty abusive and he was an alcoholic

and he beat me up when I was at that age. And I was like, that's it, I'm leaving. And I went and I stayed at a friend's house for like a week and then I eventually came back and we talked it out or whatever. I mean, not really, but you know, what have you, you gotta live at home, you know what I mean? What are you gonna do?

But I remember leaving at that age and just being like, hey, can I come over to your house? And the dude's like, yeah, absolutely. You can stay. And I stayed in his basement. Like stayed in his basement for a week. Yeah, and then eventually came back home. But I remember like, you know, that I never did it before then. Like I never tried it before then. But I know that there's a lot of stories of kids who just like I'm leaving and right just leaving Like all right cool. I still they're so scared. I'm still claiming on taxes. I say that I'm sure that they were like leaning around the corner being like are they gonna turn around soon? Yeah Oh, yeah, you know I'm not saying that all parents were heartless back then

But I think that there was just a different way to like let kids get to the end of their rope Yeah, and not try to talk them down. Yeah. Well, like I said, call their bluff a little. Like let them get scared. Let them get scared a little. Yeah. I don't know if that was better.

I don't know if it was better either. I don't know if it was worse. Yeah. But it was different. It was definitely different. Definitely different than now. That's for sure. All right. That's going to wrap it up for our goofy show this week. Be sure to tune

on Monday. Fingers crossed we'll have a guest on Monday's show. So tune in. We should have a good time. All right, that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptic screen. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue, hip no Babylon bullshit. skeptics create. downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment Leo Pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death in towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls Bigfoot Yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms Atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards and normally I don't believe in psychiatry, but in your case it might be a good idea.

Because you're nuts. Shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. sharing our content. Find us on TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and Preds all under the handle at DissonancePod. This show is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of

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