Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 834: Tariff Hokey Pokey

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

Today's show is brought to you by Adam and Eve dot com. Go to Adam and Eve dot com right now and you'll get 50 percent off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word glory. G.L.O.R.Y. at checkout. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glorial Studios in Chicago and beyond, this is Cognitive Distance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way, we bring critical thinking, skepticism,

and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political and there is no welcome at today is Thursday, April the 10th. And Cecil, can you tell me if there's tariffs? And I don't know what there were no tariffs. There were some tariffs. There was there are tariffs. Double tariffs. There are tariffs.

Yep. And it's pretty much China. There are tariffs. Yeah, and it's pretty much China. Yeah Yesterday there was a lot of tariffs for we had a half day terrorist session It's like when you were in when you're like in high school and they would have like those Institute days in the afternoon Yes, so you'd get up in the morning and you'd be like, oh fuck I don't want to go to tariffs and then you'd have to go and you go to terrorists and then you get out a little early and you go to the I don't know to go to tariffs. And then you'd have to go and you go to tariffs. And then you get out a little early and you go to the, I don't know, Denny's nearby, drink a cup of sludge.

And now it costs way more than it did before because of the tariffs, you know, it's a whole thing. So. So can I, so I don't know, like for my job, I have to follow fairly closely. I try to follow fairly closely, I try to follow fairly closely, like the markets, moves in the markets, because I try to, you know,

a big part of my job is predictive, right? It's projections, financial projections, trying to look at like what I think the housing market specifically is gonna do, which is heavily influenced by, you know, interest rates, right? So I am always watching, like, not just the stock market, but specifically like the bond market.

And this is like, I don't want to pretend at a deep level of expertise around the bond market. Cause the bond market is fucking complicated. And like I have been reading about it now for a few years. I have like a fucking maybe 200 level idea of the bond market. I think I've educated myself to that level. But I do wanna say like,

here's something that is frightening that's happening. And I think this will speak to a larger issue that's worth talking about. So in all of the years that I've been watching stock market bond market interactions, whenever there is some amount of financial uncertainty, typically what happens is people move their money out of stocks and into bonds. Bonds are considered to be like the safest investment that you can make because what you're essentially doing, just for listeners that don't

know, what you're essentially doing is taking your money out of the stock market. You're giving it, you're buying bonds with it, typically like treasury bonds, 10, 20, et cetera, year treasury bonds. And you're loaning that money to the federal government. And you get a return on that money every six months until the maturity date, if you hold it the whole time, which nobody does, they just keep getting traded back and forth. But the idea is you hold it until the maturity date. And at the maturity date, you get repaid the entirety of your face amount, right? So if I put $100,000 in there, I'm gonna get some sort of a yield,

a variable yield as we go on. So, and this shit gets pretty complicated and I don't wanna get too deep into it. So what usually happens is people move out of the stock market and into the bond market, right? So when Trump put all those tariffs on, what everybody that has followed this for a decade and a half or longer, like me, expected to see happen was that people,

investors would pull their money out of the stock market and they would put their money into the bond market. And that did not happen. And that's very, very, very important because the reason that it didn't happen is that internationally and domestically, investors are afraid that the United States is no longer a good, safe financial bet. Yep. Yep. They're selling off. We have damaged the credibility, the financial credibility of our country because of this tariff. In less than 90 days. In less than 90 days we've done that.

And that's such a big deal. That's such a big deal. Because if people are moving out of the stock market and into the bond market, okay, well, you know, what that does is it essentially drives interest rates down, right? And so there's a natural push-pull that kind of helps to keep things in equilibrium.

When that natural push-pull that kind of helps to keep things in equilibrium. When that natural push-pull is disrupted and that equilibrium or balance position doesn't occur, interest rates stay high while at the same time, markets decline. That's classic stagflation. Yeah. That's bad. That's the worst thing. We talked about this last time. I don't want to like give an economics lesson, but I think it's really important because damaging the credibility, the financial credibility of our country, it's not something that easily recovers.

And it's not something where you can convince everybody, hey, no, no, no, no. We were playing the fucking tariff hokey pokey and we turned ourselves around. So now that's what it's all about. We're fine. You know, it's all good. People don't buy it, man. They didn't buy it. When shit hit the fan, everybody was like,

I don't know where I'm putting my fucking money, but it's not in the stock market. I'm sure as fuck not investing in the United States of America. Nope. Nope. Fucking 90 days, man. 90 days. The fuck, I don't even know. A years, 100 years, the United States Treasury bond has been a bulwark, a bulwark of financial, international financial security. Fucking ruined in 90 days. Yeah, yeah, well we took the bond market and you took the stock market and he thought, well, bonds, that's shaken and stirred, so that's what I'm going to do with the tariffs. I'm going to make's shaken and stirred. So that's what I'm going to do with the tariffs. I'm going to make that shaken and stirred.

And so then he fucking like just exploded the tape. Look at what he did. What I think people don't understand is I think people like, like he's incompetent or he's trying to get his friends. He's trying to enrich his friends. Those are the things I'm hearing today. It's like, oh, he's trying to enrich his friends. He's trying to, you know, like he, he told everybody to buy at a at a certain point and it was a classic insider trading and that's why he's doing

it. Here's, I'm going to tell you, this is real easy to know why he's doing this. There is no policy that Trump has or holds dear that is not trolling and trying to hurt other people. There isn't a single one. So there's not one in his, I mean, look at everything he's done with immigration. Look at everything that he's doing with these tariffs. Look at how he's, he's acting on every front and it is trolling to make people mad or to get him in the news or to hurt other people. So his whole plan here is to do his very best to like, I mean, think about the troll, like what, what there's nothing that makes sense at all with these tariffs, the way he's doing it, how he's letting it up and letting it down.

But listen to how he talks about it. When they interview him about it, he's like, oh, they were calling me and just begging me. Oh, they're just so afraid of me. And that's what he wants. It's literally that's the thing that he's been creating. He's buying into his own mystique. He's a narcissist.

He wants to make it all about himself. And he literally doesn't care what happens to you or any of the other people who voted for him. So there was an absolute plague of people online who were sending messages, posting messages, go to Leopard's ate their face on Reddit. You will see post after post after post of someone screaming like you are crooning the market.

I'm losing so much money in my retirement account or whatever it is. He doesn't give a fuck about those people who voted for him. And you know what? Half those people, even if they lost money, don't give a fuck, cause you're mad about it. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I also think that there's a really strong element that Trump thinks

this is the thing nobody else dares to do. Yeah. And I know better. I'm the guy that knows better. I know they all said this, but no one else has the balls to really do the next thing. This big, bold, stupid fucking thing. I think that he has bought into the egotism based in that disruptor mindset. I think he wants to see himself like a lot of his Silicon Valley heroes as a disruptor,

right? As I'm an economic disruptor. I'm the guy who is, I've always known, I've always known more than the economists. I've always known more than the ivory tower eggheads. I'm gonna take this stance and I'm gonna do this thing. And nobody else has had the balls to do it and it's gonna be great, so great. I think part of him believes that shit. I really do.

He put on in his fucking tariff hokey pokey. I know he jokes about like the tariffs are on and tariffs are off. There's still 10% across the board tariffs everywhere but Russia and China. China has 154% tariffs. Everybody else got their tariff that we hit them with knocked down to 10%. So some someone where they were through, they were 36, 40, you know, 28%. They were fucking all over the place because they were Calculated with the fucking back of a napkin off of numbers that didn't relate to anything

Yeah, and those without one island of penguins is like how am I gonna pay this? You know a lot of people Cecil are saying that the penguins are being tariffed and that's not true It's the goods the penguins are exporting to the United States that are right there tiny tuxedos little tuxedos that they sell to us. That's it. The whole thing is fucking crazy. I'm not a conspiracist, I fucking promise, but I do want to point out, and then maybe I'll let it pregnantly pause, that the island nations of penguinistan or whatever have fucking 10% tariffs now,

Russia has never had a tariff levied at all. Yeah. It is a zero, there's no tariff on Russia. There's a fucking tariff to the fucking walruses, like they're fucking paying their fucking ivory tariff or whatever with their goddamn dusts. But Russia, no tariff. Yeah.

China, 154%. Everybody else, 10%. The markets were like, cool, 10%. That's not as insane. And then the markets fell again because, wait a minute, 154% to China. We're important and enormous amount of shit. Of course they fell. They were destined to fall.

And there's a group of people who made a lot of money off the bounce and it could be it could very well be that some people listened to Trump or that he had some sort of comment that he made to people and they listened to him and they bought at the at the bottom at the at the dip and then they got a bunch of money back when he said those tariffs were lifted because the markets did take off after that, but then they just fell right again. Like, so like it's just been an absolute roller coaster. And the, I think that the thing we have to understand

is that this is just the beginning. This isn't like, this isn't like, oh, thank God it's over now. No, this is just the beginning. And next time when he announces the tariffs and then he pulls them off again, the market will not come back. The market is not gonna come back for that.

You get one of those, right? At a certain point, there's not gonna be, once he announces that those, if he leads up to the moment, Tom, which is what he's gonna do, right? There's three month pause. He's gonna lead up to that moment. Oh, yep, what he's going to do, right? Yeah. There's three month pause. He's going to lead up to that moment.

Oh, yep. We're going to care if we're going to tear for a tear. And then shit's going to go off a cliff. And then even if he's 10 minutes before, be like, you know, we're going to put another thing on. I don't think there's going to be another group of people who's going to say, yeah, man, let's, let's buy, buy, buy. They can be like, fuck that.

No, they're done. And they're not. And they tell you what? Not only are your cost of goods going to go up, but interest rates are going up. And I'm not just talking about mortgage interest rates. It's interest rates, period. Car loans, credit cards, interest rates, interest rates are going to go up. The cost of living is going to go through the fucking roof because of course it is. And this is like, we're just sitting on our own balls over and over and over. And think about this. Let's say you were in the market for a new car this year. Let's say,

you know, like, gosh, I got to get a new car. My car's falling apart. I was planning on getting a new car. Suddenly there's a new tariff that you got to pay way more for a car than you would have before. And your payments going to be a lot higher because of the interest rate. So now you're doubly paying, you're paying extra for what we're going to pay before. Like all these people, like look at all the people who are screaming, Kamala crash. It's going to be a crash. If Kamala gets in, it's going to be a crash. They're talking about it like crazy before the election. After the election, all these people are, oh man, it's such a great thing

that Trump came in and after he got elected, the markets did take an upturn. So you can see that they came up, but he's been such a disaster since then. And the only thing that's been feeding me is watching some of these people who have lost a lot of money. There's a guy, he's a fucking absolute piece of shit

who does these one bite pizza reviews. His name's Dave Portnoy. He was fucking crying the other day, like practically crying because he lost, he's like, I'm dumb, like $7 million. I'm like, suck it motherfucker. Good, good. I fucking hope it hurts. I, you know what? All these like fucking, you know, Silicon Valley assholes and these fucking big bank assholes, these big business assholes that they were all so excited for Trump, what they were hoping for was a typical, and I don't know why you would hope for this because he's literally

never presented himself like this, was typical Republican bullshit, right? Lower regulation, lower corporate taxes. Those guys suck the dick of both of those things. They fucking double fist that fucking dick right down the back of their throat. They're thrilled with it. So of course they were all in on it. But Trump's talking about the fucking tariffs for day one. He's been talking about it the whole time and everybody's like, he won't do that. He won't do it.

He doesn't, he does not fucking lie to us. That's the one thing we can say. He says he's going to do an insane thing and he either does it or he gets stopped from doing it. Those are the things that happen, man. Like 154% tariff on China. Dude, how much of your shit says Made in China? Well, I mean, all my Trump hats say that, so... Mega hats are gonna be so expensive, bro.

You just point out, be like, there's a tariff, there's a tariff, there's a tariff, and you get a tariff, and you get a tariff. Look under your chair, there's a tariff. Well boys, there's a new tariff in town. All right. So speaking of bought and paid for this from the new republic, Trump plans $92 million military parade honoring himself. Yeah. So we've got a $92 million military parade just like normal everyday non-dictatorial super chill democratic leaders do. Well you had said, you know, just a few seconds ago, you said, you know, Trump wants what he wants until somebody tells him that he can't have it. Yep.

And then he'll sometimes back off. And that's what happened with this parade. Yeah. So this parade in the past, he had wanted this parade. He was like, oh man, I want to get one of these. I really want to have one of these. I'm really sort of pulling for one of these. This was his last term.

He was in office. And they said, man, it's going to cost you fucking 92 million dollars to fucking roll a tank down the middle of the street That's not a great use of funds and he was like, come on. It's like three golf outings. Come on And they said no and then he was like, well fine I didn't want a stupid fucking parade with a bunch of tanks anyway, and then this time he's like no I'm actually gonna do it now now. I'm gonna do it It's my 79th birthday and I'm gonna have to do it now. Now I'm going to do it. This is my 79th birthday and I'm going to have a big party pop around the front of all

the tanks. They're going to pop the fronts out and it's going to be like those big champagne, those little champagne cork things that you pull out and they pop. That's what it's going to be like, except for it's the front of a tank. So yeah, I mean, what other, I mean, like you got to, it's keeping up with the dictator Joneses is what you got to do. And if they have a real nice like tank parade in Russia once in a while, you got to do the same thing or else you're just like, when you go to the dictator club, people make fun.

People make fun of you. Yeah. Do you know how much just throwing us out there a little pop quiz Cecil, guess how much a Abrams tank weighs. If you were going to like drive one down the street for example. I would say it probably weighs about 15 tons. 68 tons. Wow. It weighs man. I got the supermodel version. It weighs man. I got the supermodel version

You got the Twiggy version right Wow 68 tons like the streets are not made to handle Take what's like a really heavy semi. Let me see something real. Okay. Now we got a look. Yeah Yeah, a lot of these a lot of these are like 40 tons is like the legal weight, the max legal weight. So more than 50% more and also not wearing rubber tires or not wearing, using rubber tires. Pardon me while I slip on my tires. So you got a fucking 68 tons rolling around on these fucking tank treads Trashing the fucking street. Yeah, that's fine though. How much cardboard do you have to put down? Like so much cardboard

She's like it's like when you lay in front of the door when the dog comes in cuz you don't get all wet everywhere One put give me your paw. Yeah, give me your paw You gotta like you gotta like lift up the tread and wipe it down real quick in because you don't want to get all wet everywhere. One, give me your paw. Yeah. Give me your paw. You got to like lift up the tread and wipe it down real quick. It's fucking amazing, dude. This is fucking so... We're such clown shoes, such a clown shoes nation. We're like, hey, you know what we're doing?

You know, we had a couple of US ID things that were like making sure AIDS wouldn't spread in Africa, but I think the money's well better spent on a tank for a single day. Like an afternoon with a tank is way better than combating AIDS in Africa or, you know, helping people that are like amputees in places where we made a bunch of amputees. It's so ridiculous, dude.

And we're like, no, I want to ride the tank. I hope like the fucking first national platoon of bone spurs like walks down this. Like, I hope what they do is they take, they take one of those like tanks that's outside the supermarket that like moves back and forth and you put 50 cents in and you sit in it and they put it somewhere so he can sit in it and just like shake back and forth as he goes down the street with the rest of the other tanks. Dude, we seriously, we elected for president the kid from Twilight Zone that everybody's afraid of that's gonna fucking voip you into the cornfield. 100%. That's who's president of the world right now.

Yeah. Not the world, Tom. Not yet not the world Tom not yet. No well I mean To hear him fucking tell it Yeah, you're the one who always plugs up the toilet at our house Yeah, right you better get back to school little boy. Ow! Get your ass to jail! Ow! Hey, what the hell are you doing? You can't do that!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Sweet. All right, so maybe things will get better. This one's from the Hill. Dalfour. Seven GOP, it won't.

Seven GOP senators sign on to bill to check Trump's trade authority. So, this is not the worst in the sense that some senators are willing to sign on to a bipartisan bill that would require Congress to approve the president's tariffs on its trading partners. That's fine. That's great. It goes nowhere. Even with seven, eight, even with nine or 10.

Yeah, you're going to need, you're going to need 20. It'll, and also it'll never get past the house. Yeah. You're going to need, you're going gonna need 45 in the House, and you'll need 20 here. I just want to say this to these, like, there's no way that there's a fucking Republican Congressperson, Senate or House, listening to this show, but like, it's too fucking late, and you should have known better. And whether I don't give a shit if you're fucking Mitch McConnell. Mitch McConnell, you engineered all of this. You worked your dick off to make this happen. You don't get Mitch McConnell to say, oh, let's try to restrain him now.

You had your fucking chance. You had your chance. And all of these motherfuckers on January the 6th, January the 7th, they stood up there and they condemned this man. They condemned him. And then they saw the way the political winds blew and each one of them fucking bent down and kissed the fucking ring.

And now that shit's real and they're gonna lose money, cause that's the only reason that gets their fucking attention, now that they're gonna lose money, now that their portfolios are drying up, now that they're actually gonna eat some shit, now that they're seeing consequences they care about. Because remember, they never cared about the consequences when it was like your gay sister or like, you know, your, your trans friend or somebody applying for disability or a migrant

coming in to fucking make themselves a new life. They never fucking cared. They care now because they're personally gonna lose something. And they're fucking lying and they hated you from day one and they're not on your side and there's no integrity. None. No matter. I don't care if every fucking senator on both sides of the aisle stood up and said enough

is enough. We're taking it back. Condemn them each. Condemn them forever. Forever. Because each one of them fucking lied to you. And they knew it. They are not, they were knew it. They were not

fooled. They're not just now having the fucking blindfold taken from their eyes. They did this intentionally and with malice of forethought. Absolutely. Absolutely. I want to read off the senators. It's seven Republican senators, Chuck Grassley, Mitch McConnell, and then five other Republicans, Jerry Moran, Lisa Murkowski, Tom Tillis, Todd Young, and Susan Collins. Now, could there be a more ineffective group of Avengers in the world?

Like, their logo is like a limp dick in a cock cage. And the wording just says please don't hurt me daddy Get the fuck out of here Unique Avengers Unite! Form of a limp penis! Flaccid powers go! Oh god. Just running down the fucking street like fucking wacky waving his blade

at Blarb Flaley, dude man. Just bouncing back and forth. What a bunch of losers. You're just like, yeah, of course, you know, like sure, they're gonna vote alongside this, but again, it's just like how they were voting against these individual people who were absolutely abhorrent or completely

Unqualified when they were going to be put in for some sort of cabinet position. He was putting up these fucking absolute bankrupt losers up for cabinet positions and some of these people one or two of them would say well this one I'm gonna vote against because it's not gonna stop it and This is the same fucking thing go ahead call your fucking call Bring up a bill and then send it to the house and watch it get squashed and even if you do drum up enough in The house to get it passed still gonna get vetoed and then you're gonna need a veto proof bill Because you're the ones who put him in power You are the ones who for so many years like two two times, you guys looked at Trump and said, this is our nominee.

Yeah. Like you're the ones who did this. So fuck you. What is the truth in life? Deny everything, admit nothing. You know what's true? What I say is true. So this story comes from CBS News.

Trump administration deports gay makeup artists to prison in El Salvador. So this is a guy who came over to the United States. He was one of 238 Venezuelan migrants who were flown from the US to a maximum security prison in El Salvador three weeks ago. This is a guy who showed up and had a court date the next day. He literally, here's what they said. Our client who was in the middle of seeking asylum just disappeared. One day he was there and the next we're supposed to have court and he wasn't brought to court. This is what his lawyer said. He wasn't brought

to court because he was picked up, he was illegally detained, he was sent to fucking a prison in a country he was never from in the first place. And Trump is doing all of this under the guise of using the Alien Enemies Act. Again, this is a law not invoked since World War II. So nearly a hundred years this law has not been in effect. And this is just an excuse to deport people that he just wants to deport, man. Yeah. And the people that he's deporting, I mean, we're talking about 60 minutes doing a sort of, they did an investigation and the investigation uncovered

that through internal government documents and public records, the overwhelming majority of the people that they've sent down there have no criminal convictions or even criminal charges. So they are just, they lie to everybody by saying, we're gonna only deport these people that are the worst of the worst or whatever and that's horrible anyway, right? Like we shouldn't be like doing that anyway, sending people to a prison in another country where they're not from. We shouldn't be doing that anyway. But what they're saying is, is they're saying

well we were gonna do that and what they wound up doing instead was just picking up just regular, regular people and then sending them down there and then saying they were the worst criminals. And so 60 minutes reveals that most of these people don't even have criminal charges. Yeah. It's fucking atrocious. You're being lied to. Like, this is really important. These people's lives are being ruined. Their families are being ruined. These are people who are fucking innocent of any criminal wrongdoing for the most part, and we are being lied to. The American people are being looked at right in the eyes and being lied to. The Trump administration is saying, we are doing this thing to make you safer. They are doing this thing for political optics, and they are willing to kidnap and disappear and hurt people.

This is no different than any other banana republic bullshit dictator disappearing any other dissident. That's all this is. Let me read to you from the article. Holsinger said he heard a young man say, I'm not a gang member. I'm gay. I'm a stylist. The young man cried for his mother as he was slapped and had his head shaved. It's horrifying to see someone who we've met

and know as a sweet, funny artist in the most horrible conditions I could imagine. We have grave concerns about whether or not he can survive. Hernandez Romero's tattoos were visible in the photos taken. The tattoos, crowns, were the only evidence US immigration officials presented in court to accuse him of being part of the Trendy Aragua gang.

These are tattoos that not only have a plausible explanation because he is somebody who worked in the beauty pageant industry, but also the crowns themselves were on top of the names of his parents. And the most plausible explanation for that is that his mom and dad are his king and queen. We are not deporting hardened criminals.

We're deporting a guy who works the fucking beauty pageant and loves his mom and dad. Yep. That's what's happening. Yep. We are killing that man. We are torturing and kidnapping and killing that man. And everybody, everybody who supports this administration bears culpability.

You bear responsibility for that. Well the Supreme Court today, this is, you know, in conjunction with this, this is from Reuters, US Supreme Court tells Trump administration to facilitate return of Salvadoran man deported in error. So we are seeing some movement here with the Supreme Court pushing back on some of these policies. This person was deported in error

and now they've been told by the Supreme Court, the administration been told, you need to facilitate him coming back, getting him out of where you sent him. So there is something that is happening that's, that's positive. Yeah. That's at least, at least the Supreme court is not a full on rubber stamp. Yeah. How I don't believe that they will do the right thing often, but if they do the right thing,

non-zero times, I'm pleasantly surprised. Yeah. And, and I think like, when we see this happen, you know, we're hoping that other cases that come before them, they start to look at this as like, oh no, this is an incompetent administration or an administration that is using its power in the wrong way. And hopefully they push back against some

of these other ones that, you know, I'm sure that some of these other cases that we're seeing are gonna be brought before them too. And hopefully they have similar ideas on how those work out too. But I'm curious what Trump is going to do now because we talked about it before. What happens when he says no? What happens? What happens? How do you get him back if Trump just says no? Yeah, that's the thing.

And that no only ever, it only has to happen one time. And the one time that it happens, it sets a precedent for no as an option. Yeah. And as soon as no is an option, we no longer have a legal system. We no longer have a functioning democracy. Yeah.

As the moment no happens and it stands, we have lost the threat. Like the constitution is a series of suggestions. Yeah, baby, you better grab that powder. Because I'm looking for something warm and wet, salty sweet. You better grab that oil. Let me get into your culture. I'm talking sourdough.

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I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. MacLean, and since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite. This next story is from Huffington Post. White House confirms Trump is exploring ways to deport US citizens. Huh. We've got to call it something other than deporting. If you're being shipped to a country that is not your country of origin,

you're not being deported anywhere. You're just being kidnapped. Yeah, that's kidnapping. It's a fucking black site. Yeah. Like, I don't, like, the, let me read this because it's the craziest thing. It should be, I don't, the administration could try removing American citizens if it identifies

a pathway it can claim to be illegal. White House press secretary Carolyn Levitt said Tuesday that President Donald Trump is exploring legal pathways to deport U.S. citizens to El Salvador, where the administration has already arranged to house deported immigrants in a prison known for human rights abuses. Leavitt suggested the effort would be limited to people who have committed major crimes, but Trump has also mentioned the possibility of sending people who commit lesser offenses abroad. Any such move on the part of the Trump administration is certainly challenged in court. It is also not clear what legal authority could be used to justify expelling US citizens from their homeland. These would be heinous, violent criminals who have broken our nation's laws repeatedly. These are violent repeat offenders on American streets, Levitt told reporters.

The president said, if it's legal, right, if there's a legal pathway to do that, he's not sure, and we're not sure if there is. It's an idea he has floated and is discussed publicly in an effort of transparency. You shouldn't want to do this. Doesn't that tell you something? What do you mean you're gonna, why do you want to house me, like let's say I'm a criminal in America.

Let's say I'm a violent criminal. Why don't you put me in one of the many, many for-profit prisons across America? We have, it's not like we're short on fucking prisons, man. What is, there's a reason, right? There's an answer to the question, why send me to El Salvador? Who gets sent and why do they get sent?

Why are they not being put in a super max if they're that dangerous in Colorado? Or like, why are they not being put in a maximum security, you know, state run facility? We've got plenty. We've got lots of them. The purpose of this is to flex a kind of militaristic political muscle that says, be afraid of me.

That's the reason you do it. Yeah, it's a terrorist activity. Yeah, it's a terrorist activity. They're doing it to terrorize people. That's exactly right. And I think too that there is also probably some promises made, some diplomatic promises made with El Salvador because there has to be some reason why they want to fill

those beds up down there. So, you know, they fill up beds all over. You hit the nail on the head. There's got to be money somewhere, right? Because we're not, this isn't free. El Salvador isn't donating their time for them to be sent down there. We're paying money for them to go down there.

$23,000 per person a year. So you're paying money for them to go down there, $23,000 per person a year. So you're paying money for them to be sent. So if you're paying that money, why is it that we are sending people down there instead of say to Arkansas or some other place or some other super max? There's plenty of like you suggest plenty of super max facilities in the United States that could easily house them. And it would be a place where hell, even some of these for-profit prisons where you know some of their buddies

are gonna be getting kickbacks. But I think that there has to be something to do with some sort of negotiation deal down there where they have to send more people down there so that they fill up that quota so that they can get that money so that Trump can have his terror and they can have their cash.

And I think that those two things, they have to work in conjunction. There was an investigation, I was looking this up cause I was just curious. I was like, gosh, there's gotta be something down there that's making them do this. And I couldn't find anything specifically outlined. Nobody in the process found anything yet.

But while I was doing the research, I was reading about this prison that's down there. And here's a line from an article I found. Last summer, 261 people had died in El Salvador prisons during a gang crackdown. The group, this group that did the investigation and others have cited cases of abuse, torture, and lack of medical attention. So this is like a place where, I mean, this isn't like, you know, we have inhumane prisons here in the United States, places where, you know, I mean, look at what happened during COVID, look at some of these places where there's not enough staff

and they're just like run essentially by the inmates in some of these places. We have unethical prisons here, but this is like a level of unethical that we don't even have here in the States. Yeah. This is an intentional move to create exactly as you said. This is terrorism.

Terrorism as a definition is the calculated use of violence or the threat of violence to instill fear and coerce or intimidate. Yeah. In pursuit of political, religious, or ideological goals. How is this anything other than fucking terrorism? It's terrorism. It is.

It's terrorizing our own people. If you're deporting American citizens, you're terrorizing your own population, but that's what dictators do, man. Yeah, man. It's fucking classic dictator shit. I seriously am at a place Cecil where I wonder if this show will be allowed to continue to air. I'm not, I'm not a hundred percent at

all convinced that political freedom of speech will be a real thing in four years. I'm not convinced that this show will be allowed to continue in four years. Might not be. We'll see. Fingers crossed. I know that sounds crazy. I feel like a crazy person saying that, but like, it's been 90 days, man. Like that's a blink of an eye. We have most of the time left. It hasn't even been most of a year. Well, and consider this. If they're the ones who get to decide who's the most violent, who's the most abhorrent, who's the person who gets to go down there, when do they get to change their mind or when do they get to make those mistakes like we've already talked

about them making? When do they get to pick up these political people who happen to have political opinions that differ from the current administration and they take those people away. And then the Supreme Court says, Hey man, you can't take that person away. And they're like, well, sorry, he's already in prison. And then they get a funny little message from somebody in El Salvador is like, well, too bad. The plane already left. Oh, well, sorry. And then nothing happens. And then a person who's just a political enemy of Donald Trump gets to spend time in a prison down there. So, you know, like, understand that they're gonna be

the ones who make these decisions. And in the past, that could have been a civil rights leader, right, who got sent down there. Because they were the ones who were stoking violence in our country. Look at how they talked about the Black Lives Matter protests. Yeah. So, yeah, don't expect that this is going to get, that there's, like, somehow this is going to be a good, a feel-good story eventually.

It's not going to get any better. This is the opening act of a horror movie. Yeah, and I guess, like, here's another thing, and I don't want to be that guy, but I'm going to be that guy for a minute. Again, I feel maybe I'm just having a fucking conspiratorial fucking evening right now, but it would not be at all surprising. No eyebrows would raise upon my head if rather than coming back to the United States, this guy had a terrible accident, was killed in prison. Right? Because like, if you're Trump,

and you've already buddy buddy with the fucking president of El Salvador, and you're already laughing at the pain and suffering and injustice and humiliation that you're causing other human beings, and then the fucking Supreme Court just rules against you, and you're like, all right, maybe I don't want to create a constitutional crisis, but I still don't want to be seen to lose.

What's the solution? Yeah. That guy doesn't come home. Yeah. In Russia, that guy falls out of a window or he touches something very radioactive. Yeah, man. And like those. So if you ask me, Tom, would you bet $100 right now?

This guy comes, this guy sets his feet back on American soil. I would not put my hundred. I would you? Feels like a bad bet bad bet man yeah it's a bad bet I put that money in the stock market all $40 $30 $20 $10 of it $10 $10 $9 $8 $8 $7 fear and meat that was all men and a woman inventing nuclear weapons exactly where we take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest.

I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest.

I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest.

I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm glad that people take to the streets and protest. I'm don't know anymore how I feel about protests. I'm glad that people do them. I'm glad people take to the streets. I'm glad that there is energy. I think a show of force is probably important, but there's like a sense that I have of like, I don't wanna share it.

Like there's a sense of futility that is very hard to shake around these things. My stepson Donovan wanted to go to a protest and we were like, yeah, go to the protest. But privately, because we wanted to encourage it, you know, like, great, go to the protest. We also were like, I really hope he's safe and doesn't get beaten by the cops, you know,

that made us very nervous. Sure, yeah. But privately we were like, fuck man, like, I don't know, does this do anything anymore? I don't know how I feel about them, like, functionally. I don't want to be the big naysayer. I think people should get out there. But I'm also just sort of like two minds about it

in a big way right now. Yeah, I'm totally different. I'm 100% the other way. I think like this is, you've got to keep doing this. If you don't keep doing this, If you don't keep doing this, if America doesn't keep doing this, and I was sick on Saturday morning, there's going to be another one in two weeks.

My wife and I are already planning to head to Chicago for it. That you've got to get out there and do this and spend your time doing this. If this is something that's important, it has to be done like that. Like you can't take your foot off the gas and we can't be, you can't like, because if you just don't do it,

then you're complying in advance. And I think like you cannot comply in advance with any of this stuff. And this shows that there is a lot of people, not just a small amount of people, it's not just a Tesla dealership somewhere. This is every single state had a major protest. There wasn't violence.

There was people just marching. They were showing their solidarity with each other. They were probably networking when they got there. They got a chance to meet other people. Maybe they met other people and they reinforced each other. I think this is a net positive 100%. And I will be at the next one. Yeah, good. The thing is like, I want this is a net positive 100%. And I will be at the next one. Yeah, good.

The thing is, I want to feel that way. Like, I'm totally admitting to a futility, like a sense of fatigue that's probably just in your personal. Sure, I get it. I get it. But like, I do at the same time, like I said, I believe in the visibility of these things, right? I believe in, like you said, that networking,

that connecting to other people in community, that like rallying together, that like joining forces and community organizing. I'm a firm believer in all of that stuff. But like, I also just like raise my hand right now. I'm like, fuck man, fucking tired, man. Like this shit has been 90 days. And you're right, we can't let off.

Like we can't let off the gas. And let off the gas and like you got to do what you have to do at your personal Level to preserve your fucking piece like you do like don't feel like you can't preserve your own piece But if you have the bandwidth, yeah fucking do it. I agree with you. See so I agree with you I feel like I feel like everybody should do as much as they can handle. You shouldn't be doing things you shouldn't handle. Just like when we talked about, there's people out in the world right now that there's a group of people

who don't wanna reach the cross the aisle to talk to somebody who may have voted for Trump, but isn't like full MAGA. There's a group of people who never wanna talk to that person. And I'm like great That's not in your you don't you know, like to steal a phrase. You don't have enough spoons for that. Well, that's fine Don't fucking don't waste your cutlery

That can come by and do it But I think like like if you have the power and the ability and then the bandwidth and you can do this sort of thing It's important and it's also like the bandwidth and you can do this sort of thing. It's important. And it's also like the other thing that I want to point out is every time you go to one of these, it's re-energizing you too. You're seeing all those people there and it energizes you as like, I'm not alone. I'm not by myself. I'm not out there just like pulling my own hair out, isolated in my space. There's a bunch of people out in the world

that are going through the exact same thing as me and have a very similar mindset. And it makes you feel like you're not alone. So these are super, I can't say enough about these things. I'm gonna go, like I say, I'll be at the next one. I was dog ass sick on Saturday morning. So I didn't, we were planning on going,

there actually was one locally in the Western suburbs that we were planning on stopping by. They align, this is, this was a city, the city just south of me that I probably, I don't know if they voted for Trump, but there certainly is a Trump presence out here. There's a lot of people who have signs on their lawns that are Trump presence, et cetera.

But this whole street, this whole main street, you know, five or 6,000 people show up in this kind of tiny town just south of me and they line the streets in main street. There's video of them on, you know, on Reddit where they're looking down the street and there's just people, like a whole slew of people just standing.

We were gonna go to that one. We were actually planning to go to that one. We just, you know, again, it just didn't feel well enough to go, but I will be like, I saw that there's a group that's organizing this and it's gonna be, I wanna make sure I'm right on this. I think it's the 19th of April. Let me double check.

If you go to the website, no, you gotta spell this out. 50 50, that's the same, that's one word, 50 50.1. 50 50.1, it's 50 protests, 50 states, one movement. There is a, and the next national day of action is April 19th, and if you click find an event, all you have to do is click it it'll you know it'll either ask for you know where you're at or you could just type in your your your zip code and it will find an event for you to go to so then there's plenty of events all over that are going to be mobilizing so you know

if I have to travel I'll travel you know what I mean like cuz I'm looking right now There's what I know there's gonna be one in Rockford. There's gonna be one in Chicago. There's gonna be one in Decatur So I am planning on going to the to the one in Chicago I think this upcoming 19th because it's just gonna be worthwhile Get him out of here. Get him out of here! Get the f**k out of my room! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! This story is from CNBC.

Judge says White House can't ban Associated Press from Oval Office and Air Force One. A federal judge ruled the White House cannot bar them good from these spaces where journalists and other media outlets are admitted. Said the white house has practiced a blocking AP journalists access to those spaces is contrary

to the first amendment of the U S constitution. The white house had been barring AP from events weeks after president Donald Trump gained office. Yeah. Because of the golf of America thing. Yeah. They're a multiational company. They use the name of that golf that the rest of the world is using, not the fucking dumbass thing that we're doing. And they got barred

because they're like, if you don't change it, then you can't come in. And they were like, well, we're not going to change it. And then they just, they barred them. And then they're like, okay, we'll go to court. Well, here we go. Federal judge ruled. So we'll see what happens. They might, they're probably going to kick the can up to the Supreme court, but hopefully this stands.

Hopefully this is one of those things that we see where it's just like, gosh, you know, like, like I just want to see him start to lose a little bit. Can we just have a couple wins? Yeah, man. Like, how about like when you try to destroy the fourth estate that holds power to account and provides transparency to, like maybe we want that.

Like without that, what is there? Like if you only have sycophantic reporting, then you don't have anybody presenting the public with what they need in order to understand what's true and what's going on. I do have this question for you. If you're the Supreme Court, aren't you like, holy shit, I'm gonna work so much over the next four years.

I should have gotten paid hourly. I am gonna be on overtime. Yeah, I feel like Clarence Thomas is gonna have to work from his RV, the one he got for free from a billionaire. From his ski resort with the billionaires? From a billionaire. He's gonna have to he's gonna have to skip his Alaska vacation with his other his other billionaire friend And he's not gonna be able to tailgate in Nebraska with his other billionaire friend So it's gonna be a rough bit. It's a bit a bit of patch here for Clarence Thomas unless he steps down

Yeah, he'll have to actually fucking work. He's gonna have to do work. Yeah. Yeah, gosh. These guys are gonna be working their asses off, man. Everything goes to the Supreme Court now. Everything. Trump does crazy bat shit illegal stuff. Federal judges are like, that's fucking bat shit.

You can't do that. Kick it up to the Supreme Court. Every fucking decision. Yeah, man. Every decision. Jesus Christ. At some point, if I was on the Supreme Court. Every fucking decision. Yeah, man. Every decision. Jesus Christ. At some point, I would, if I was on the Supreme Court, I'd be like, all right, I'm just saying no to Trump in fucking retaliation because you made me work Saturday.

And I don't want to fucking work Saturday. I've been surprised with Amy Coney Barrett. She on occasion, even in a couple of these, she's been leaning towards the liberal side. And I'm like, what is happening up there? Well, I think like at some point they have to recognize like, wait a minute, we do want a functioning country, right? We do want a functioning democracy.

I really hope they neuter a man. All right, it's literally, it is our only hope that that's how that works. And then, you know, I guess like we said before, and then he accepts the ruling. Because like, if they don't, it's not like the Supreme Court picks up the bat phone and gets to call the military to make things happen.

At some point, like, the executive branches the authority. At some point, I just don't want to live in interesting times anymore. Dude, I'm so ready for boring times. Give me boring times. You know what I want, Cecil? You know what year I want back? A nap? Yeah, I want a nap like a motherfucking crazy.

I want 1999 back. You know? 1999 was pretty dope. I want the biggest movies out there to be about how hard it is to be rich. Oh yeah. And like, oh man, the American sensitive ennui. I don't know what meaning comes from because I have too much. I don't know what's gonna happen in my life.

I feel so, I feel like I need. I know. Can I have those worries back? I would love those worries. I look back at like the worries of yesteryear and I'm like, God, I would chew that bone. I would chew that fucking bone till my teeth fell out, man.

God, it'd be so amazing. God. I'm gonna fucking put on American beauty and just out, man. God, it'd be so amazing. God. I'm gonna fucking put on American Beauty and just jerk off to the times when it's sad. That's all I'm gonna do. American Beauty? Yeah. Tom's just sitting in his living room,

throwing a plastic bag up in the air, watching it, filming it with his iPhone. Fucking amazing. God. Hello? Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Shh, shh, fucking amazing. God. Hello? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Shh, shh, shh. Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Billy? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Shh, shh, shh. Ah, ah, ah, ah. I'm gonna get naked and take a shower. What's going on? Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stories from the AP,

surprised they were allowed to report it. Trump reverses Biden rule, restricting water usage for shower heads and other home appliances. Well we fixed all the other problems. Yeah, having solved all of the other world's problems. That was fucking amazing. He's, gosh, and this is one of those things, right, that he's so in tune with and he just like he has something in tune with and he just like he has a Something in his craw it's the same thing you were talking about earlier with tariffs, right?

Like somebody one time told him about this stuff and he has made it his crusade to ban Anything that conserves water there is something out there that conserves water He's like fuck you He doesn't care if it's made in a way where you don't notice that it's low flow. Cause there's plenty of these things out there that are low flow nowadays where you wouldn't even know it's low flow.

But instead he's gotta get the thing from fucking Seinfeld that you wash the elephants with or whatever. And the person's falling down, he's like, no, I need one of those. See, so I have a new construction house that just built 18, 24 months ago, somewhere around there. It's all that like, you know, energy efficient, low flow stuff. You literally nobody would know.

Nobody can tell. No idea. No idea. Here's Trump's old man yells at cloud bitching that he said when he when he fucking signed this. I like to take a nice shower, take care of my beautiful hair. I have to stand in the shower for 15 minutes until it gets wet, comes out, drip, drip, drip. It's ridiculous.

What you do is end up washing your hands five times longer. He's talking about his prostate, guys. That's what I was saying, he's talking about his dick. Yeah. You see, you have to wash your hands five times longer so it's the same water and we're going to open it up so that people can live.

All these people spending all their time in front of their spouses just being like, well, somebody save me. God man. Who the fuck? This is so clown shoes, dude. It's so fucking clown shoes. It's unbelievable. The most made up problem.

This is the most not an actual problem 100% the most made-up problem you've ever heard in your entire life This is it like we're we're in them. We're in this like crazy space. So where we're Debating all of this like important shit because it's existential to like the well-being of the planet and the economy and like We're in the and then here's his fucking priority like well, We got to make your dip. Make sure your dishwasher uses more water. Why it is fine Literally fine question. What is the best question ever is just somebody in the back's like why though? Why are we doing this? What's the point? Can somebody, can one of these people,

here's what I want somebody to do. Pretend you're a Russian influencer podcaster. Submit your resume to the White House and become a White House press consultant. And then just once he mentions this and holds up this dumb ass his signature with this stupid fucking folder I just want you to reach back put your hands around your mouth and be like why though like why are we doing

that can we just have a hey that's what I want to see happen somebody do that please please I'm back it would love that I would love so much somebody ask why what like are we just like not wasting enough all right is it just like Somebody do that, please. Please. I'm begging you. I would love that. I would love that so much. Somebody ask why. Like, are we just like not wasting enough? Or is it just like, there's like a minimum amount of wasting we have to do? You get fucking Elon in your bathroom with his chainsaw cutting it off in there. Attaches the new one.

Do you like people to call you dictator or just dick? Oh, it's another story from the AP Republican led house passes bill to limit nationwide orders from federal district judges. So Jesus Christ, what else is their job? I mean, what else? It's a federal judge. What the fuck else are they supposed to do, man? They are trying to supposedly rein in activist liberal judges, but a lot

of the decisions that they're talking about were fucking Republican nominees. They were Republican. They're basically saying any decision from a judge, a federal judge to your point, a federal judge to your point, a federal judge is limited in scope if we didn't like it. If it's not the decision we hoped they would come to. I'll pull it out of a hat. Yeah. And it's not a practice. It's not a practice. That's literally it.

It's not a practice. They wanna make sure that they can call it a practice whenever they want, because man, they're just not satisfied with, you know, everybody for so many years was like, yeah, you know, we just gotta, they're trying to just win this stuff, but like, look at how they've, what they've been doing when they're in charge.

They gerrymander the fuck so that they can try to stay in, get more people in different areas so they can represent more people. They try to rig fucking elections. They try to remove people who are duly allowed to vote. They try to remove their registration from voting. They're trying to pass a voter ID laws all across the country to try to disenfranchise a bunch of people who don't actually need IDs or can't take the time off to get the proper ID from their four jobs that they got

to work. So they are doing their very best to try to shoehorn themselves into these positions. And then when they have them, they're not happy with just being in charge. They're like, no, we're in charge and we're gonna stop anybody else from ever having any kind of dissent of anything we do ever.

We're gonna make sure that we're in charge and are one guy, because they're trying to give powers to Trump. So the Congress is trying to give their power away to Trump, and they're also trying to take the power away from the judge so that they can literally just unify it in one godhead. And Trump is that person. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is like they are, what they're doing is trying to do

the ground, lay the groundwork to enable a dictatorial form of government. Like this is, this is a, make no mistake, what this is, is a loosening of the bolts of democracy. Yep. To damage the machinery. That's all the point of this. Yep. I said get fucked you great bear, sodden damage the machinery. That's that's all the point of this. Yep I said get fucked you great beer sudden bag of shit

AP Connecticut Supreme Court declines to hear Alex Jones's appeal of a billion dollar Sandy Hook verdict Hold on a second. I think I hear the world's smallest violin Somewhere it's somewhere in here. I can hear it. Yeah. Good. Fuck you, Alex Jones. Fuck you in the face. How's that? Good. You piece of shit forever. Good. Good, good, good. I hope nothing but the worst possible things. I hope this guy gets fucking tongue cancer tomorrow. That's what I fucking hope. What I really sincerely, deeply, deeply hope is the fucking Alex Jones is stupid wagging asshole piece of shit tongue turns cancerous and gets scooped out of his fucking head with

a fucking melon baller and he gets slapped with it before they biohazard bag it. Piece of shit. Good. Good. I hope you're fucking muted forever. Yeah. Good. I hope you're fucking muted forever. Yeah. Yeah, I hope so too. And like, I don't know, I haven't been paying attention to the other trial in the case that was going on, because I know that they had sold to the Onion and then that guy, the judge had come back and said, no, you can't do that. So I don't know exactly how far or where that is now.

But him trying to appeal this and them saying, nah, man, now we're not even gonna hear it, is the best news. It's just, you know, there's not a lot of wins lately. So you just gotta take the wins when you can get them. And this is an absolute win. This person is a horrible human being. He went out of his way to hurt families that had already lost children in a fucking,

in like a mass shooting at a school. These, this is like the one thing you don't want to send your child away to school and have them get hurt while they're there. Cause our country does not, doesn't give a fuck about guns and they don't care about, you know, really dangerous weapons getting in the hands of people who are unstable, this, this, this person comes in and kills a bunch of children. And then Alex Jones comes on his show. Not only are those people Victimized by that guy but Alex Jones comes on his show and calls them liars says that they did not actually

Lose those children that it's a false flag his followers go out and and terrorize this group of people Hound him down. They dock some they just do these horrible things to this group of people, hound them down, they dock some, they just do these horrible things to this group of people who are just trying to sort of restart their life after a major tragedy. And Alex Jones, he fucking raked in a ton of money because of that. And he deserves to pay every single penny that he can,

any money that comes near him for the rest of his life needs to get sucked. There needs to be a person who follows around with a vacuum Just every time he opens his wallet. They just need like And suck every dollar out of it good. Enjoy poverty. Fuck you All right, that's gonna wrap it up for this week. We're going to have a funny show for you this Thursday. We hope it's funny. We're not sure if it's going to be funny.

We can't guarantee that there will be a show. There will be a show. Come check it out. And we're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics. Creed credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter. Mommy issue. the skeptics creed. Water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch Late night info docutainment Leo Pisces cancer cures Detox reflex foot massage

Death in towers tarot cards Psychic healing crystal balls Bigfoot Yeti aliens Churches mosques and synagogues Temples dragons giant worms Atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards If you interrupt me once more, I'm gonna tell you Nuts!

I saw a dolphin in your mouth. Shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. Thanks for tuning in. If you enjoyed the show, consider supporting us on Patreon at patreon.com forward slash

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