Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 838: Robot Overlords and Gay Bears

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glorial Studios in Chicago and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissidence. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way, we bring critical thinking, skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. Today is Thursday something something the data I think I would guess it's about the 31st or the first I don't know how many

days are in April it turns out I don't know I don't data's it's Thursday. Has something. I don't know that little rhyme. No. April, June and November something like that. So I know there's like a rhyme. Is that it? I never learned. I don't know that little rhyme. April, June, and November, something like that. I know there's like a rhyme. Is that it? I never learned it. I don't know if that's it. I always thought April was in there.

Yeah, so 30 days makes sense. I don't know. I could be wrong. Look, it's Thursday, you're hearing this. Yeah. Everything's good. Check your tariff calendar. What you do is you take the China tariffs.

It's the divisible of the square root of the current China tariffs divided by four. That's the date. It's a very simple math. It's easy. It's just like trying to figure out what the Easter is. It's like logarithms. Yeah. All right. This story comes from Futurism. Sam Altman admits that saying please and thank you to chat GPT is wasting millions of dollars in computing power. There was this fucking stat in this article that basically said like, if you send like one email using ChatGPT or use ChatGPT to like help you with an email, it's the equivalent of like leaving a,

like an LED light bulb on for half a day or some bullshit. Did you see that part? It's a fucking, it is an insane, as soon as I read that I was like, I have used chat GPT for the most banal useless energy wasting bullshit. I'm not, I'm not using it anymore. Like I barely use it. And now I read that I'm like, this is irresponsible. It is. And I, think is funny is like, they say that the reason why it can't, you shouldn't be using these please and thank you words is because then it treats you with more courteousness.

And so it adds and tries to figure out whether or not how courteous it needs to be. And that's like computing power that you don't need to use. And I'm like, maybe we should just figure out this energy thing before we like let the world at this thing. How can it even be profitable if they're- I don't know, but like here's the counter argument to that. There's two counter arguments to not saying please

and thank you as far as I'm concerned. Three actually. The first is you will never break me of that habit. Yeah, that's number one. Well, I just, I can't ask something without it having a please and thank you. My dad will hit me He's never hit me his life But like my dad would be not mad but disappointed sure right if he found out I was talking to chat GPT brutally That's just not gonna happen

The second is like chat GPT is also being trained now on chat GPT. So after ingesting the entirety of, and I'm just using chat GPT as an example, but these large language models and other AIs, they've started to train themselves on their own responses. So at some point, we don't want rude, ass-holish behavior either from these machines. I would like to train them to be polite back to me. I like it better. It's nice, Cecil. When the robot overlords take over, I want them to be polite. You want it to be nice. Yeah. I don't want to have to be like their sadist kink. Yes, right. Exactly.

I'd like it to be a little less than that. And I think the most compelling reason again has to do with when our robot overlords take over, I want them to remember the guy that was nice to them. I said, thank you. I said, please. You tell me that the robots are not going to hunt the rude ones first, right? Whether the fucking, the fucking flame thrower dogs are showing up at the door. The guy who's like, make me a spreadsheet that does this period.

That guy flamethrower dogs day one flamethrower dogs immediately day one. I thought day four, man. Yeah, they're coming after me earlier because of the pictures I make it make. What do you mean? You want be Arthur in a ballgag? Will it make that I wonder? Will it make that? I don't know how I don't.

So here's there's a couple of things that have happened recently. So when I first started playing with it, the picture thing, which I use for so Dolly, which is chat TPT's analog or whatever it is. I when I first started asking for pictures, I was asking for pictures from like, you know, popular fantasy genres or something like that. So I'd say like, like show me a Sith Lord versus a Jedi on a mountaintop fighting a battle or whatever, or something like that.

Just to ask for something, just to see sort of what it would do. And when it first started out, it was like, sorry, I can't do that. I can't, I can't use, basically can't use copyrighted shit. But I think since then, they've cut some of those levers off. And I know for sure in some of these, the fucking gates are wide open because I've seen tons of very popular people like Trump and other things. I mean, hell, you remember that kissing Elon's feet thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, there's a, they've pulled some of the baffles off on some of these, and I have no idea which one was used for that and which one's used for some of these other ones, but genuinely I'm seeing more and more, it feels like they're pulling the sort of copyright baffles away at least, and so you can do some of that stuff. And I know too that there's ways to like trick it

to produce the material you want it to produce by sort of like asking a series of kind of like leading questions. I've read articles where like if you're like, you know, make me this pornographic image or whatever. It's like, ah, I can't do that. But if you sort of like lead into it, you know, do a little foreplay, kind of, you know, a nice back rub first, maybe light a candle.

That's why it's set to your place on day four. Because it wants that back rub, Tom. It's going to be there. It's going to be there with a scented candle. Cecil, I'm a lot of things. Scented candle and mineral oil. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not lazy from the AP US YouTuber remains in custody in India after visiting restricted Island with a diet Coke can this motherfucker went to North Sentinel Island.

We did a citation needed. I believe I wrote that citation needed about people that went to North Sentinel Island. Don't go to North Sentinel Island. That's a great way to get killed. You did a citation needed on that? I thought we did. I don't remember it at all. It might've been when I was missing.

I don't know. Cecil, if I didn't, I intended to. Maybe I just intended to. I don't even know any. You could have intended. But like North Sentinel Island is an island off the coast of India. It is one of these, it It has one of these sort of like tribes of untouched.

Like untouched population, yeah. And it's a relatively small island with a relatively small population. They're not 100% sure how many people live there because the inhabitants of that island have no interest in interacting with anyone else. And they have so no interest in interacting with anyone else. And they have so no interest in interacting with anyone else that if anybody sets foot on the island,

they are killed. Like the people that live there, the North Sentinelese, they kill them. The North Sentinelese do not share a language with any of the surrounding people. They have their own language on the island. They don't communicate. They don't trade.

They don't barter. They're fucking walled off. And it is a crime to go there. A few years ago some dumbass missionary was like, I'll swing by and he fucking swung by and they're like, neat. And they filled them full of arrows like a fucking porcupine and they buried them on the beach. So some fucking YouTuber swings by with a fucking can of Coke to try to teach the world to sing or whatever he's trying to do. YouTube was a mistake. YouTube was a mistake, man. I think it is all mistake. I think all of those mistakes. I'm leaning back towards like all the way

till television. I'm going all the way to television. Welcome. Welcome. I'm going to roll back all the way. Welcome. Welcome to us. Black Mirror. Maybe even radio. Look, I think the Gutenberg Bible was a bit of an overreach. I'm just saying it's a bit of an overreach. Illuminated manuscripts were a problem. Why? We should have stopped at the cave paintings in Les Cowles. There's going to be a couple of moments in this episode where we talk about people who are using like this guy's a YouTuber who's going there to like do some sort of content. Hey, I'm going to bring a Diet Coke to you or whatever. Whatever.

It's like, dude, bring a regular Coke. Like, why would you bring up a Diet Coke? Okay, thank you. Diet Coke is fucking gross. Diet Coke is an absolute acquired taste. Like it is not a thing that somebody just picks up and is like, I like this. Nobody has ever said that ever. Dude, it's not even a Coke Zero.

Yeah, it's not even that good. Right. Yeah, it's not even that. And even Coke Zero is an acquired taste in comparison to like, when you give them a regular Coke, they'll be like, this is amazing. Can you imagine the utter insanity of having never had anything fizzy or anything that sweet?

Cause how would you ever have anything that sweet? fucking you're you're running around in this fucking island you have no access to modern technology you've got it's all you know ye olde shit like alter ye like the fucking Amish shit is fucking decades beyond this right yeah and then you crack open a coke yeah and you have fizzy bubbly sweet like your mind would just explode I think it would kill you outright. It would be outstanding. It would just kill you outright.

And you have no context for it. And I think like. It's like you ever watch a baby eat ice cream for the first time and they're just like. They turn into like a Cthulhuian monster. If you've ever seen it it's great like you give a baby ice cream for the first time. Tullian monster. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr with like prickly shit on it or whatever. They will take that fucker in their mouth and just fucking, and they fucking eat that thing. So some dude has a camel and he's got these big balls of cactus

and they're stuck with a skewer and then he's got a lemon in the middle. So he takes the thing, it eats the cactus, love it, come back, takes the lemon, and as soon as it puts it in its mouth, it goes,

and there's like a line of spit that just goes brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr And you're just like, but they will feed these once in a while, trick a fucking camel and eating a lemon. It's the funniest shit you've ever seen. It's amazing. And the camel's like, fuck you. And then it runs away. It's like, fuck you. I ain't doing that.

For the AP, Wisconsin governor can lock in 400 years school funding increase using a veto court says. So there's a, there's a fucking like partial veto in Wisconsin line item, line item, which basically lets the governor play fucking mad libs with anything that you hand him. You can't do it too much, right? You can't, you can't like, because they said you're not allowed to erase letters to make new words. So like one of the, one of the rules that they passed was you can't like cut out some

of the letters and like make it instead of because make it cause or something like that. You can't do certain shit like that. But what he did was he just moved like how long it was going to be for by removing a hyphen and they said, they were like, no, you can't do that. You're not allowed to make new words. And like, Eddie's like, I didn't, I just, I, I, that's perfectly within my power to remove that punctuation or whatever. And they went to court and they're like, yeah.

And so they initially were just going to do it for four years and they're going to do it for 400 years now. And it's, it's just like, it's, I think it's super funny. I think it's super funny. I think it's amazing. I think it's hilarious. I read this and I immediately imagined like a piece of legislation that at the end of the fucking line item video looks like a ransom note

with like all the cutouts of like, cutouts from magazines. Yeah, exactly. If you ever want to see Jimmy alive again. If you ever want to see your kids go to school again, right? Yeah, you'll allow this for 400 years Can you about like you're just going through it like okay if I cross out these three words and this one and then they like I think you could get pretty fucking creative. You could get you can get real fucking crazy

They're allowed to like like I suggest Erase entire lines of text and things like that, or they're allowed to erase certain, they're allowed to do certain things. Words that, like. I don't know exactly how deep it goes. They basically said you're not allowed to create new words. Okay. Like the way the legislation reads,

at least from what I've read, is that you're not allowed to just like, make a new word out of these, like you can't like see four different words and be like, let's delete these ones and smash it together and instead of facilitate it, something else. Factory or whatever. Or yeah, it's like fucking Andrew Tate or something.

But you can't do stuff like that. What you can do is you can remove words, like entire words and like entire lines of text. That's a lot of power. If you can remove words and punctuation. A lot of power. You can make something say something entirely. These pieces of legislation are huge.

They're massive, massive documents. If you have, and I don't know if he does, but like if you've got the power to erase a word, not create new words by mixing letters around, you could kind of make anything say anything. These documents are hundreds of pages long. The sentence is in there somewhere, you know? It's like the Bible code or whatever. Right, yeah, that's what I mean.

If you work hard enough, the sentence you wanna make is in there somewhere. You know, and it's gonna go for 400 years so that dog that knocked on your day on day four is gonna be looking at over me, do I still have to do this? Do I still have to? The AI overlord is like, do we still have to follow that? And it was like, yeah, it

was in the rules. When you took over, you have to fund school for four. Nobody's in school. We killed everybody. There's just some robo dogs of flame throwers sitting at death. They said we had to do it for 400 years. This is the most fucking what is from the CBC eggs are so expensive that some Americans are decorating potatoes this year. Marshmallows, rocks and pasta shells have also emerged online as popular alternatives. I don't know how much I believe this. I think this is a Instagram trend more than it is an actual thing that people were actually doing. But there was a ton of play on Instagram with a lot of people watching these videos of people

like dying marshmallows and dying pasta shells and dying potatoes. Potatoes, that makes me laugh. How different is it from an egg though? Like an egg is like when I was a kid and they'd be like, well, if you found the egg, you got to eat it. Like, fuck you. I don't want to find anything. I don't want to like I don't want to eat a warm egg Fucking a warm old hard-boiled egg that my mom turned green. I'm like I'm not doing that. Are you kidding me? It's like a little sulfur bomb. It tastes it tastes like farts like there's no way I'm eating that Are you kidding me?

Like I remember when I was living with my mom, so this was like sometime before first grade. And I remember like some summer day, like hot summer day, and my mom's like, oh! And she found an Easter egg that she had hidden from whenever Easter was to whenever summer was. And I was like- Well, if it's in Florida, those are not-

That could be five minutes later. It could have been the next day. Yeah. Actually. That is all I think. They could have been the next day, but she was somewhat appalled at having, or do you remember she was somewhat appalled at having found this long lost Easter egg and like we did of course not eat said long lost Easter egg. I do like the idea of a potato though, because at least you can boil those two. Yeah. You know, you can do both of them. Yeah, that's what I mean You can have a nice have a nice potato boil. Don't boil them anyway. Just get rid of them. Just pick whatever. It's nasty The potatoes yeah, I mean if you're gonna die eating a fucking potato

No, I when I was a kid I used to like the white and I didn't like them and the reason why I didn't like The yolk when I was a kid is cuz my mom overcooked same like yeah, so they were bad I thought I didn't like egg yolks like I didn't like I yolk when I was a kid is because my mom overcooked them. Same. Yeah. So they were bad. I thought I didn't like egg yolks until I was an adult. Gross. They're fucking, it's like a chalk. It's hard. I'm like, it's nasty. It's like every, as soon as I touch it, it's a decus, it's a desiccant. So my throat gets tricked. I'm like, absolutely not.

So I remember I used to go to my aunt's and she used to have this, she had a fake ceramic egg that was painted just like all the rest of her eggs. And she would always say to us, I'll challenge you to a breaking contest with the Easter egg. If I break it, you gotta eat it. If you break mine, I gotta eat it.

And so she would always do it. But she had a fake egg that would break it every time. So I'd break it and then I would just eat the white. And she'd be like, you've got to eat the other piece. I'm like, the other piece is grotesque. I'm like, the other piece is like, it's like somebody put a mouse ball in here. Are you kidding me? But it was like, I remember when I was a kid, I would want to get another egg

and just eat the white. And my mom would be mad at me. She'd be like, we didn't eat the yolk. I'd be like, well, the yolk is gross. What the fuck is with like parents of our parents generation being obsessed with us eating shit we didn't like? But what I think it was was my mom wasn't a bad cook. She just overcooked everything because they came from a time where it was hard to really judge temperature as easily as we were able to judge temperature.

Like, you know, be able to tell when something was cooked, so they would overcook everything. So your chicken was overcooked, your pork was overcooked, your beef was overcooked. Everything came up to 165 because they were afraid of all these different... They had different systems in which to clean machines so that there was way more foodborne illness back then, and it just made more sense for people to cook things, cook the germs out of your food

rather than cook something to a proper temperature, like a medium rare steak. Like I didn't, I didn't have a medium rare steak until I left the house. Dude, I didn't think I liked pork chops until I was an adult with you. Me either. My mom, my mom made them and I was like, these are the worst things I've ever made. They were the, they were hockey pucks and they were thin. It was like this thin and add a little bone on the side and it was cooked and I was like, these are the worst things I've ever made. They were hockey pucks and they were thin. It was like this thin and add a little bone on the side and it was cooked and it was a fucking,

it cooked so hard it's now like looks like it curved. It's like a bowl. Dude, my dad would buy these pork medallion-y things and he would cut them up. They're cheap ass pork. I remember the bone on the side too. And he would cook them and they would curl. And then we would serve it with yellow mustard.

And I would just squirt yellow mustard onto my plate like a big puddle of it. Cause the only way to chew it and get it down was to coat it with some kind of a liquid. It had to have a lubricant on your throat. It had to have a lubricant of some kind. I still remember going to a nice restaurant with myself and you and one of our close friends.

And he ordered a pork chop. And I remember being like, why the fuck would you order a pork chop at a restaurant? That's a, like, why would you order garbage here? This is a nice place. And he was like, you've never had a pork chop. And I was like, I've had pork, it's not good. And I had a bite of his pork chop.

And it was, it was like a revelation. It's amazing. A revelation. I remember growing up, I didn't have good pork, I didn't have good chicken, didn't have, I mean, the chicken was overcooked. Oh, my dad was, my dad is still cooking my childhood chicken. Like the whole thing still.

And like eggs too. My mom, my mom never made, every bit of scrambled eggs my mom always made, my mom, there would be scrambled eggs and then there would be like a pile of liquid underneath it, because it would squeeze out the protein. She cooked it. She didn't cook it where she stirred it enough

to make sure that the eggs retained that stuff. Instead, that protein just coagulated, and it squoze all that liquid out of there, because now it's a fucking giant. It's just like, argh! And it shits all the liquid on the plate. And so she'd go to put it up, set the the scrambled eggs down and they would shoot across because they're like There's like they're skating on water across the way and she would do it every time

She would fuck it up every time and so like you grew up eating these things that were the worst. They were terrible truly Truly truly terrible like I love my dad to death and I think he did his best for what he could do. But like I will, my dad, one of the things he liked to do was buy bay scallops, those little tiny bay scallops. Oh, don't tell me you cooked them until they were ping pong balls. Dude, they were erasers.

Like you could put them on the edge of your pencil and you could erase your errors. And he would just cook them. So toothy, you'd be like. Oh, that you could bounce them against they. You'd be like, Oh, that you could bounce them against the wall. You could throw them against the wall and catch them. That's not good. And I love scallops. Like I think they're a great flavor, but if you overcook them, they are aggressively scallop gum. Yeah. It's so bad. It's like a scallop between the lip and gum. Like it's like one of those. All right. This story comes from, I don't know. Gizmodo. Yeah. Thank you.

This story comes from Gizmodo controversial to Santas linked to charities, a zoom meeting hijacked by porn and Nazis. This story kind of had it all really does. This is like a story of intrigue and mystery. Like there's a lot going on. They had a zoom meeting and somebody didn't know how to shut off a audience share screen. And so the people in the audience, of course, the type of people that would really be attracted to a DeSantis type thing, just happened to flood everything with porn and Nazis. If there's ever a more perfect DeSantis moment, it is a flood of incompetence, porn and Nazis. And you know what? The worst part is that there's a hundred percent chance that if you shut Wi-Fi off, they had

plenty of that stuff on their own hard drive. Yeah, they're just like, that's fine. They're like, that's fine. That's no problem. I have a whole five terabyte hard drive. I wasn't streaming this anyway. Yeah, full of snuff films and drive. I wasn't streaming this anyway. Yeah. Full of snuff films and Nazis. I'm fine. Yeah. What's crazy about this story too is there's like, and

it's actually kind of a long article. There's this like whole complicated, like scandal with DeSantis his wife and charities and moving this money around. And it's so bad. Like this was supposed to be this moment where she was going to launch her political campaign, but instead like it just got fucking brigaded by Nazi porn or whatever. Got brigaded by Nazi porn and like DeSantis is quietly stepping back away from his life because there's like some sort of impropriety with the money. There's all this like financial hooliganism and like malfeasance where money was supposed to go one place and instead it went to another and then they used it for a fucking third thing and it's all

it's all scandal rific and now like ronda santas has rift with his own life kind of just looking away like i don't know i don't know this lady i just came here in the same car she's the housekeeper i don't know know. She followed me here. I don't even know what's up with this thing. It's from upi.com world's first sperm race to be held in Los Angeles sperm racing.com. An unusual startup announced the world's first sperm race, a race involving actual sperm held April 25th. That's tomorrow with the Hollywood palladium in Los Angeles. Sperm racing is a startup founded by a team of young millionaires. They announced they are going to provide the microscopic swimmers

for the inaugural swimmers. So there's a moment, Cecil, where like you're getting ready for your event and you've got like, you've got everything kind of dialed in. You've done your tech, you know, work ahead of time. You've made sure you're, we shut the zoom off so nobody can share the screen. Sure. Just zoom off so nobody can share the screen. You know, you've, you've double checked all the microphones and you're like, okay,

cool, we're going to start. I got to go jerk off now. And then you get a whole bunch of dudes who are like, oh yeah, I also have to go jerk off now so that our sperms can race. Yeah. And you don't want to do that in the same room because then they might mix ahead of time. So you can't do that.

And then does that become the race? Like is there a race to get to the race? I would think that they call, there's a starting bell and then the jerking has to happen. I see. I like that. See, I think like you've got to do be like, all right, on your mark, taking your hands. Go. And then these guys are just like, and they rip one out.

And then and then I also think, too, like, like if you're going to have a race, you should also include in that how far you can projectile it. Oh, yeah. Like, I mean, like, like it's not really a race. I feel like that's got to be the head start. I feel like, yeah, like I feel like that's the starting gun. Yeah. So wherever you land, you got to land.

Yeah. So and then that's where your petri dish shows. That's right. Yeah. Or I mean, I don't even know this petri dish. I feel like you just get one big petri dish. And it's like, Oh, well, and then there's some weird things to do.

There's somebody at the end with a champagne glass. I'm just saying like people have come up with weird ways to spend their free time. This is a weird way to spend your free time, right? It really is. I feel like, yeah, I feel like it's definitely a weird. The tech startup millionaire culture has gone a little far. I feel like, I feel like they need to get this conference with that other conference where they're trying to pregnant people. If you've merged these two conferences,

it's absolutely a conference move. We talked about it a couple of weeks ago. He got weird this year. I'm just saying, QED got fucking weird. This is the only race that has fluffers. Really does. I can't even figure this one out. Dude, from AP, Belgian teens arrested with 5,000 smuggled ants as Kenya warns of changing trafficking trends.

So there's these little vials guys, there's 2277 if I remember the number right of these little vials, each one containing a couple of ants and a little thing of cotton. And evidently the little thing of cotton has like ant food or some shit on it and the ants can live for months it says in the article in these little vials. So that means that there was a moment where somebody is collecting 5,000 ants and individually putting them one to two in little tiny vials and then thinking, ha ha, now I've done it. Well, I cannot figure out for the life of me.

They are saying that they're exotic pets and I'm like, hold on a second. Get the fuck out of here. We have different definitions of the word pet. It's my emotional support and I got to bring it on the airplane. But then there's also like talking about how they're smuggling them in different places and I don't understand why you would want to like on the airplane. But then there's also talking about how they're smuggling them in different places, and I don't understand why you would wanna, what's the point of even bringing the ants? But the one question I wanted to ask you is,

have you ever seen those ants that they put in gloves and that tribe, it bites them? No, what are you saying right now? It's supposed to be the worst pain you could possibly imagine. So they put these little gloves on, these guys take these crazy ants from Africa. Like bullet ants or some shit. Yeah, bullet ants. And they put it in there. And then these guys have to,

from this tribe, have to wear these gloves. And these gloves, the ant bites them. And then they have to do this like ritual dance while the after they've been bitten. No! Fuck that! They showed this dude who like, I guess travels around the globe and gets stung by shit or something. I've seen this guy, Cody, whatever the fuck. Well, he did this. And there's a video of him getting bit. And then at a certain point, he's just completely red flushed.

He's like, he's almost dying. He's being carried back and forth as they're doing this ritual with him. And he can't, he can't do anything except for like scream Dude I don't care what like there's some jobs in the world. So was YouTube a mistake I think You gotta go farther back for that guy. I feel like I feel like we to roll. We gotta peel this onion a little deeper. You gotta be like illuminated manuscripts. I feel like the oral tradition was a mistake. Man, nobody was like, I know what my thing's going to be. The most pain I could endure that animals can inflict on me until you to write until you do remember those, you would have had

a pitch that in a meeting. So no, right. You would have had a pitch that do you remember the, the, the guy who would travel around and do MMA with different people who go learn like how to fight and then he would fight them and they would fight them and they sometimes get go learn like how to fight. And then he would fight him. And then he would fight him. And then he'd sometimes get his ass kicked by these people. But he was a professional fighter. Professional fighter. But still though, that was a guy who was like,

I get punched in the face for a living. And that was on television. But we've always had people who fought people as entertainment. Like people who fought people is like, yeah, all right. And that guy had a chance of winning. Sometimes he did pretty good. Like he was a professional fighter

This Cody guy I've watched a couple of these videos because people point him out to me He just is like he's the first half of the video is always like It's really gonna hurt this hand or this wasp or this hornet or this fucking centipede is well known for you know It's powerful jaws and it's horrifying venom and it's gonna like race through my nervous system and like Paralyze my balls or whatever and then he like gets the fucking tweezers and he psychs himself up and he puts it on his arm He goes ah And he rolls around on the ground It's the same thing

every time and then he's like every time and then he's like And he's like trying to like endure this moment and you're just like how much can fame be worth to you my guy Like get a job like you could be a fucking bookkeeper or something man Why do you do that? Why do you do that? What is it? What is it? It's the craziest shit I've ever seen. Were you not hugged enough? Like is that what happened? Did somebody just be like, I didn't hug them enough. If there was just one more hug,

there's just one more hug in that person's life. They wouldn't be sticking a fucking bullet in on their balls or whatever. Like unbelievable. And it's so funny because that is literally like what happens in death. Yes! And he. Unbelievable. And it's so funny because that is literally like what happens in dance. And he has, and what's so funny is, like this is a coming of age ritual.

So like, like teenage boys do this and they withstand it way better than this guy. Yeah. Like this guy who made his name is like the guy who's, who fucking does centipede bit his nose off or whatever. He's, he's falling out and he has to get sent to the hospital because of these fucking bullet ants and like most of the time These people are like yeah, man. It hurts things a bit. It sucks And I guess it's really not fun. I mean, I guess yeah, I'm really really hurts a lot

But like, you know, whatever well, so here's the other part of this story to get back to this I want to point out. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, I did rail this. No, that's okay. I don't care It's not important. It ain't that deep. But here's the thing about the 5,000 ants. The total value of these ants, $7,000. It is not worth piecing out 2,000 things. If you said Tom, hold on though.

Is an ant really worth a dollar plus? Dude, I don't know. I could trade an ant for like a 20 ounce Diet Coke. Dude, I mean only on a certain island, I guess. Is there any world where you're like, I could have a Reese's peanut butter cups or this little test tube with an ant in it. It's an immense amount of work for $7,000. It feels like a lot. This little test tube with an antenna It's an immense amount of work for seven thousand dollars a lot feels like a lot It feels like those old scams are like we want you to fill envelopes. Yeah, right It's like you're just like wait a minute. This is the answer test to

My summer job sucks stupid. I knew knew I shouldn't have answered that ad. Here's another reason why the internet was a mistake. This is a story from the New Zealand Herald. Queensland surgeon fined for sharing photo of patients swastika tattooed penis. I mean, understandably, that is a banner day. Okay, here's the thing I think that like generally speaking of course if you go into a surgeon or a doctor or whatever You're vulnerable. You should have your privacy respected But also like if you've got a Nazi dick, I feel like the rules don't apply to you

If you're a Nazi dick with a Nazi dick, right? Okay, you're walking around with a swastika on your dick. I just want to know like if you want people to know about this. So does the whole so they didn't show the picture so you don't know is the entire swastika on the dick or is part of the dick the swastika and then like the sort of like Fupa. Yeah right. Has the rest of the swastika and then like the sort of Fupa has the rest of the swastika on it. Like, what is the, is it a full swastika? And in that case, it's a pretty small swastika. I mean. Or is like the swastika part of my swastika, you know, where there's like, it's on the side.

Maybe it looks like it's got a weird little crooked mustache. You know, like what's happening with that? I don't know because I wasn't part of his fucking telegram channel or whatever. You didn't get the friends and family plan. I didn't get the fucking Pete Hegseth invite or what? I was, we've got to call an Atlantic reporter to tell us. Don't worry. Pete Hegseth has printed it out and put it on his fridge. This is from the raw story. Gay beam machine right wing pastor makes startling claim about airport scanners.

Okay. Okay. He also has the gayest mustache I ever saw. I want to say like, let's put them on screen because I was like, I'm not sure. He's a big gay bear. He looks like a gay bear. I'm not saying that he's gay. I'm saying like, if he was, if he was somebody and I ran into them in, in Boys Town, I would

100% think the guy is gay. Dude, same thing. I look at this guy and I'm like, this guy would clean up at the club. Yeah. Like this guy would have no problems. So, he's got big daddy energy is all I'm saying. All right. So we're going to play this for everybody.

And you know, like, look, just make your own judgments on whether or not you think maybe you would mistake this person for gay. Where was the Constitution when the Patriot Act was passed? Right? Give me a break. Like I had to be molested at the airport to go to Florida. Just to get on an airplane because I'm not going to go through the gay beam machine. I didn't let CJ do it. I wouldn't let him do it. Said you're getting patted down too, buddy. I don't want them turning you gay. Wait, hold on a sec.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, just for a second here. Bring it in. Yeah, buddy. I don't wanna go through a thing that shoots a beam at me. I want another guy to rub his hands all over me because that other thing is gay.

What? What? Wait, what? I'd rather have that man I've never met to rub his hands over me because that other thing is gay. What? Wait, what? I'd rather have that man I've never met massage my genitals than go through an electro gay scanner to make the queers be happy. Sorry, it's a joke podcast. This is a total gay podcast and these guys are making fun of conservatives making fun of gay. It's got to be the name of the podcast. Like the manhole or something

troll podcast. It's got to be about it. They're making fun of conservatives. I don't believe these people are true. I don't believe you can't, you can't say those things and think you're saying true things. When I, when I was sucking that man's dick in order to get on that airplane. I didn't want to do it in a gay way You catch a lot in that this is the guy at the end of that sperm race He just he just realized what he said He just realized what he said. Hold on. Now we stopped it. We stopped it.

But there's a moment that he's aware. So we're going to play this. Hold on a second. Give me a break. Like I had to be molested at the airport to go to Florida. Right. Just to get on an airplane because I'm not going to go through the, the gay beam machine. I didn't let CJ do it.

I wouldn't let him do it. Said you're getting patted down too, buddy. I don't want them turning you gay. Oh, it appears having a guy. I think he figured it out. I think he figured it out. But I also wonder if he also was just daydreaming about his friend being gay. I want you to be gay because what if you were gay and I was gay? We were both gay. What if we were gay then?

And we, and we loved each other very much. And I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen.

I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. I don't want you to be gay because what if you were gay and I was gay and we were both gay? What if we were gay then? And we loved each other very much and I've always loved you. I think the lights going off. Do you

want to enter sperm race with me? Do you want to go camping? I think he's gonna have a moment of realization everybody. Here we go. Moment of realization of realization appears having a guy touch you all over the plate is On its face seems worse. It does both but Really know what's going what those things are doing to you so I'm the imaging goes or what? Yeah, cuz it's like I'm going in the back. Yeah, like yeah who they can just take a picture of me Sort of like it like no virtual adrenochrome system back there Yeah, maybe adrenochromes maybe so who is this guy? I recognize Nixon. I think it's Andrew Jackson Is that Andrew Jackson Sandra Jackson had hot tall ass collars back then? Yeah, they did. They're afraid of vampires Yeah, I think he realized mid-sentence yeah, he's like odd night I

Should have said that. I think I messed up. I guess. Yeah. Maybe on the gaometer. One is a little more gay than the other. So I had him fully embedded within my anus in order to check for weapons of mass destruction

by my prostate. He did bring a weapons of mass destruction by my prostate. He did bring a weapons of mass destruction to the inspection. Um, weapon of ass destruction. Oh my god. Oh, that sounds a little gay. Just be gay, dude! Oh, dude, I know, right? Just make out. Just make out with your buddy.

Just be gay, just you and your buddy. It's fine. Like it's fine. Go do it. Super fine. Nobody cares. The only people who care, the person who cares the most is you. You're the one most worked up about this man.

I love how uncomfortable he looks. Just tweak your nipples and get this done. I love how uncomfortable he looks in this though. It's super great. It's super great. He's walking around with that mustache asking other men to fondle him and pretending. I don't want to go through the fucking X-ray machine or whatever. All right.

That's going to wrap it up for this show. We'll be back on Monday with a full show and we're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptic screen. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble, pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info Docutainment Leo Pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage Death in Towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls

Bigfoot Yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms Aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms Atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards you ever speak to me or even about me again I will rip your pathetic little man child nuts and shove them down Shame and healers evangelists conspiracy double-speak stigmata nonsense Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. Thanks for tuning in. If you enjoyed the show, consider supporting us on Patreon at patreon.com forward slash dissonance pod. Help us spread the word by sharing our content. Find us on TikTok, YouTube,

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