Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 94: Degree in Poverty

Episode Date: April 6, 2013

Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Please visit audiblepodcast.com forward slash dissonance pod for your free audio book download. It's interesting in terms of the gay issue, gay marriage, Rick, that you also tied it to some of the threats coming from North Korea. And here's what you had to say. The same time the Supreme Court is hearing these arguments on same sex marriage in Asia, The Supreme Court is hearing these arguments on same-sex marriage in Asia. A crazy man in possession of nuclear weapons, Kim Jong-un, is openly saying, I have ordered our military to position our rockets on U.S. targets in Hawaii, Japan, Guam, and the mainland of the United States.

I don't know if anybody's, I know they're not. They're just not putting it together. There's, hey, you got this happening over here, and you got this happening over here. Could the two be connected? You think they are? Absolutely, Alan. You think Kim Jong-un is looking at gay marriage becoming more acceptable in this country, and that's why he's making threats against them?

No, Alan. No, not at all. No. What's happening, Alan, is that the divine shield that has protected America for over 300 years is being withdrawn because the socialists, the far-left, the God-haters, the Christ-haters in America for the last 50 years have been shouting to God, get out of our country. I honestly believe, Alan, that America has been protected by God for over 300 years because most of the time, our culture, not the

government, our culture, the people, were primarily a Christian people. We were never perfect, never will be, but primarily it was a Christian nation. Why was that? If that's so important, why wasn't it specifically stated that way in our founding documents? Because they never imagined that a country could ever become this wicked. Never in their wildest nightmares. Wicked because it's not all Christian? Do you think, should it be only Christians who live here? I wish.

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat this is episode 94 of cognitive dissonance and cecil i will have you know this is actually a very special episode this is the last episode where i'm gonna let myself read the every episode yeah right, right. I told myself at 95 episodes.

At 95, if you don't know it, by heart. If I haven't memorized two lines, it's not going to happen. You know, what I'm going to do is I'm going to try to mess you up next week somehow. Oh, you son of a, you're going to be like that asshole, like you're counting money and somebody comes up behind you like 11, 14, 91. I'll just start reciting the old everyone's a critic one while you're doing it. Oh, that would fucking, I don't remember that at all. I couldn't do that if you put a gun to my head, I don't think.

But hell, I can't do this if you put a fucking gun to my head. The thing is, is the everyone's a critic one changed like four times. It did. Because we were like, first we're like, hey, it's just going to be a thing. And then we're like, oh, we're going to do movies. And we picked from IMDb, and then it was Netflix, and then it was Listener Chosen, and then it was whatever. Yeah. That show had some changes to it.

It did. It changed more than fucking Bobby Brady's voice. Unlike the stagnant swamp water that is this show. Yeah, no kidding. No kidding. Did you see that somebody sent us a message somewhere and wanted to know what no welcome mat meant?

Yeah, I did see that. Was that an April Fool's? I don't know. There is no welcome mat. What do you think it means? It means that the mat that normally you wipe your feet on isn't there. To welcome you. Yeah, no. There's nowhere to clean your feet off.

Right. And that's what it means. You gotta, you gotta bang your fucking boots against the curb. Yeah, absolutely. Or you're just going to get dirt on our floor and we don't mind. Like at that point,

like if we're digging for metaphor that hard, you're like, there is no, what does that mean? I, I'm sorry. I just can't help you. I just,

I just don't know. I'm beyond. I just can't help you. I just can't help you. I just don't know. I'm beyond. So, Cecil, this story comes from a video from Fox News, which is a fucking crazy video. Christian radio host Rick Wiles defends his statement that gay marriage, gay marriage, Rick Wiles defends his statement that gay marriage, gay marriage is the reason that North Korea is threatening America. Specifically, he says that America has lost its divine shield. We have lost our divine shield because of our acceptance and tolerance of other people's love. Yes, God has pulled back and shot his load all over the stomach of America. No, you know, we lost our divine shield, but we gained a fabulous shield.

You know what I mean? We're deflecting missiles with a feathered boa. We're deflecting missiles with a feathered boa. I love the idea that, like, North Korea, the reason why, like, and he is fucking serious. Like, this guy's the AFA guy, right? He's from American Family Institute, I think, or American Family Association or whatever those people are. The people who think the Boy Scouts are losing everything when they even consider homosexuals as troop leaders. It's that guy who thinks that—it's the same people who think that the Nazi party was formed by homosexuals. Oh, those fucking loons. It's the loons that work there.

But this guy's one of those loons, and he's saying North Korea, you know, he's really genuine when he says something like, oh, well, you may not think there's a connection, but there's a connection between, you know, our recent accepting of homosexuals and, you know, North Korea now threatening us. threatening us. And, you know, if anything, if anything, you know, the guy from North Korea is just looking that fucking, what is his name? The new one. Kim Jong-un. Kim Jong the littler? Is that what he is? The mini Jong. The mini Jong.

Whatever he is. He's just looking for more cake. I mean, look at the guy. I know. Yeah, like, they don't have a lot of food over there. He's just like, man, they don't have a lot of food over there. He's just like, man, I would really like to eat a giant cake all the time. Who can I attack? Time for another butter massage.

That guy bastes himself. You know that's true. Yeah, absolutely. That guy fucking bastes himself. He bastes himself in crazy for sure, but he bastes himself in fucking butter over there. You don't need... Does he not realize that Kim Jong-un

doesn't need a reason to say crazy provocative threatening shit? That's kind of been... That's what North Korea's been doing. This is the third generation of saying crazy shit because you're North Korea. That's just like it runs in the family.

It's like it hasn't skipped a generation. It's just what we're doing now. We're saying crazy, fucking provocative, threatening shit. The divine shield. Remember when we had that divine shield back in the 40s? And then there was fucking World War II. And then that same divine shield that was protecting us back in the 19s. And then there was fucking World War II. And then that same divine shield that was protecting us back in the 19-teens. And then we had World War I.

And that same wonderful divine shield that protected our 60,000 troops who died in Vietnam. And that awesome shield of divinity which came down to protect us during the first Korean War. How about the one that protected us during the Civil War? Right. That was a great divine shield. That one was good.

God is just up there. He doesn't know what the fuck is going on. He's just, I don't know. You're all just going to have to fight one another. God's divine shield is like a fucking high school mascot paper thing that you just run through. You know what I mean? It's like a revolving door. Revolving door of issues because, you know what, you're a giant country with a lot of issues.

And, you know, they stopped using – and this is – we talked about this last week when we were – during the April Fool's show when we were like, OK, fucking Bill O'Reilly is on our side now. And Bill – I mean Bill O'Reilly, the guy who is known for hyperbole and misstatement and mischaracterization and just bad arguments. I mean just bad arguments. Really bad arguments. He's talking to fucking David Silverman about religion, Christianity being a philosophy instead of a religion. You know what I mean? Like, just bad arguments, mischaracterization, misdefining things. He's just not good at it.

And he's the one who's saying the compelling argument is on the side of the homosexuals. And you're like, okay, well, he's actually right on this one. And the reason why is because what they're resorting to is they're resorting to scare tactics. You know what? You don't want to believe me. You don't want to believe that God is upset by us. Let me show you the reasons why God is upset, and maybe you'll follow my rules then. Sure. Sure. I mean, you just fucking know. You just know that if there was another day after Christmas tsunami type event, even if it happened all the way across the world of people totally unrelated to the United States, it would be a warning. Yeah.

Warning. You know, anything that happens, it's a big fucking world. Lots of shit happens. Like there's there's fucking political tensions. There's there's a lot of things that occur in a world with seven billion people. So if you're just going to try to fear monger, which is exactly, I think you're right, man. That's what he's doing. It's like we've lost any good arguments.

We're now resorting to saying the magic shield of God is gone. Like, well, we won't have our magic shield. Fucking really? Well, we have our spear and magic helmet. I was just going to say that. Did I steal your joke? I'm sorry. You just got to it before I did.

I'm sorry. No, it's just a dim-witted brain. It's a little slower. Oh, that's awesome. It's like that, though, you know? A Spear and Magic helmet. I'm sorry. Let me tell you something, Alan.

If America continues to reject the mercy of the Christian cross, America will live under the tyranny of the Islamic sword. This next story is from Murphy's Free Burrows. Murphy's Free Burrow? I don't know. Murphy Freeze Burrow? Yeah. Why is that a thing?

Why are you like, hey, let's name our town. What do you name it? I don't know. Murphy's Freeze? Yeah. Why is that a thing? Why are you like, hey, let's name our town. What do you name it? I don't know. Murphy's Freezeboros. Why are you doing that? Voucher bill could fund Muslim schools. You read this headline. It should be subheaded.

Well, no shit. What did you think would happen? It should be subheaded by the guy from The Simpsons who just goes, hey. I know. It's so fucking funny. There was a pair of proposals moving to the Tennessee General Assembly that could divert tax dollars to religious institutions, right? Like religious private schools. And all the Christians are super happy about this. Until they realized that some people aren't Christians.

Until they realized there were other religions. It's like they looked around and like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. What? We're not the only ones here. You guys might want schools too. Oh, man. Why didn't anybody tell us?

Who didn't tell us they were going to have this? I love the idea of this. And, you know, we're going to talk a lot about Islam later on in the show. We have a whole Islam section this week. But, you know, I don't care that somebody – that this school exists. I do care. I do care. Absolutely do care that they are getting funding. I think

that's, I think that's outrageous that a Muslim school would get funding. I also think it's outrageous that a Christian school would get funding. That also ticks me off. Just as outrageous, you know, because it's, you know, this isn't what we're, this isn't what we're designed for, you know, like this isn't what the country's designed for. This isn't what our school system is about. You know, yeah, if you want your kid to go to a Muslim school, then pay for it, man. Like, look, there's a reason why our tax dollars don't go to it. It's because it's not for everybody.

And the same thing for our tax dollars when it comes to a Christian school. It's not for everybody. So, you know, pay for it privately. If you want your kid, if it's so important to you to have your kid do that, great. But the reason why these voucher systems even come into play is because you said that it's just so they can get the religious exemption to get more religion in schools, or at least to get more kids in religious schools. So there's no real reason to have the voucher system except for to publicly fund religious institutions. If only we could set up some kind of solution to this problem, some kind of way to separate

like what churches do and like what's the provinces of the state. If only there was some way to draw. That sounds crazy, Tom. It sounds like a crazy idea. It's one of those harebrained schemes of yours. You look at this and it's like, well, that's why separation is a good idea, guys. It protects you. It protects you as a religious person more than it protects me as a nonreligious person.

That's what they seem to not realize. Because the moment the state makes decisions about religion in favor of one or the other almost everybody's ostracized right right i mean almost everybody right now it doesn't make any difference to me as a non-religious person you know it's it's fucking it's plinko as far as i'm concerned i don't care where it ends up at the end it's like whatever mus Muslims, Wiccans, Satanists, Southern Baptists, they're all the same to me. It's all fucking magic and fairy dust. I don't give a shit. And you wouldn't

use the vouchers. You'd be like, man, my kid's going to go to public school. What am I going to give a voucher to? Because they're all religious schools. I mean, where's the secular school out there that's like, well, we're going to be secular. We're going to teach you. We're not going to teach your kids about any religion. That's the public school. I mean, where's the secular school out there that's like, well, we're going to be secular. We're going to teach you. We're not going to teach your kids about any religion. That's the public

school. I don't need to pay them. I don't need to have a voucher to go to public school. This whole thing is just stupid, but these people are up in arms. If you listen really closely, you can hear their anuses tightening.

You got to lean in for it, but you can just hear it. All those broomsticks are cracking. Yeah. So this is another story out of the grand south of the United States. This is from Daily Kos. of the United States. This is from Daily Kos. Harvard-educated physician kept off Mississippi Health Board,

but forced birther nominated to serve. The thing about this that makes me crazy is the Mississippi Board of Public Health has removed a dude who went to, it was like a physician who went to Harvard. He's like incredibly well qualified. No dice to that dude. Some college dropout? Welcome in, it's Mississippi.

You'll fit right in. Oh man, what a horror show that is, right? And this guy is, this person is going to replace a registered nurse with a doctorate in administration who is the dean of the Division of Nursing at Northwestern Mississippi Community College. That's who this person is, like, replacing, basically, in that form. And you're like, for real? They're a college dropout with no medical education?

What is, I don't even care that she's a birther. Like, who cares what she thinks there? She's not qualified to do anything. Right. Like, she's qualified to fucking make me a frappuccino. As a man with a degree in English literature, I am marginally more qualified. Yeah. And by marginally more qualified, I mean, do you want whipped cream on your frappuccino? No, Tom, you would call it out from the register.

She'd be like, frappuccino! Like, I don't make the frappuccinos. I've got people. Yeah, I call out. I've got this shit covered. I need a turkey bacon and a frappuccino. No. call out. I've got this shit covered. I need a turkey bacon and a

frappuccino. The article goes on to say that Dr. Carl Reddix was kept from reaching the Senate Health Committee for confirmation last April. Reddix was the guy who

has the degree from Harvard. He was born in Mississippi, graduated from Tougaloo College, earned degrees from Tufts University of Medicine and Harvard, completed his residency at Johns Hopkins. That guy, they're like, I don't know. Can you make a Frappuccino? Can she make some mean Frappuccino? You know, this guy is actually, I read another story that's linked to this, that this guy's actually, he's writing a book about this whole ordeal.

It's going to be called The Chronicles of Reddix. Well, you know, he's actually pro-abortion. I hear he actually kills a baby with a teacup. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, Yes. Yes. Oh, that's awesome. He like cuts out their retinas or whatever so they can run around in the dark.

People who have not seen that shitty movie are so confused right now. They're like, what is he talking about? This podcast has gone off the rails. Yeah, whatever. Yeah. Mississippi's gone off the fucking rails. That's all you need to know. Mississippi's gone off the fucking rails.

That's all you need to know. But, you know, it's not like anybody is thinking, 50 states and the union, maybe I'll move to Mississippi. Nobody's thinking that anyway. Default. Right. Either you were born there or your job's there or you're a hobo. Like those are your three options. And the train broke down. And the job thing has to do with the hobos. You know

what I mean? Like, that's intertwined. I was going to say, like, if you're in Mississippi, your job and, like, you didn't relocate to Mississippi. It's not like the grand industry of Mississippi was calling you, you know? What, do you have a degree in poverty?

I don't know what you would have degree in poverty? That's terrible. Oh no. We're going to get so many emails from Mississippi. The two people who live there. Hey man, I'm an atheist and listen to your podcast. I'm the only fucking atheist in Mississippi. Stand up at church and let everybody know. Yeah. So this episode is brought to you by Audible. Audible is the intranet's leading provider of spoken word entertainment with over 100,000 titles. You can get a free audio book. It's free. It's an audio book.

Just go to audiblepodcast.com forward slash dissonance pod. Sign up, you get a free book, you support the show. We say thank you. We don't actually say thank you, but we'll feel thankful. And isn't that the same thing? It is. It's close. And you could also go to our website. On our website, on the front page, there's a link right there. You can click on it and go to Audible there. Now, I wanted to talk about a book this time that, and this is for all the dorks out there, the people who are total nerds, who grew up falling in love with the Star Wars universe. I was one of those nerds, and I enjoy the Star Wars universe quite a bit. So I listened to a book, a series of books on there, three books called the Thrawn Trilogy. It's Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and

The Last Command. And I don't want to get too dorky, but I just want to say that I really enjoyed these books. And I think the reason why I enjoyed them so much is the narrator for these books, and I'm blanking on his name, but the narrator for these books, and you can find it if you go to Audible, you can find out who narrates these books, does a really great job of imitating the people who are in the movies. So this is a book that basically continues out after the first three movies that were made, not the ones that were made by Lucas in the 2000s. We're talking about the ones that were made in the late 70s, early 80s. After those books, after those movies happen, basically it's Luke and Han and Leia and Chewie and all the cast

of characters that he created there are doing a different thing. And this guy can basically imitate them pretty well. And he does a very good job of being able to distinguish between different characters that you've never heard of. And I think the one character that stands out is the main character that the series is based after, this guy Thrawn, who's a general for the new empire that's sort of reemerging. And he's a wonderful villain. He's probably one of the best interpretations

of a mastermind villain I've ever read. And it was really great to listen to. And another great thing is they have all these fucking, like all the special effects from the movies like the sound effects. So they put a voc effect on his voice. He sounds like C-3PO. They have blasters and doors.

It's like an old-timey radio drama that you're listening to. It's super awesome. So if you're interested in Star Wars, I think that's a great series of books to get. And you can get your free copy right now if you go to audiblepodcast.com forward slash dissonance pod. Cecil, this story is brought to you by the Friendly Atheist blog. Arkansas state representative calls eight-year-old atheist a fool.

He doesn't really call her a fool. He just directly implies it to her mom. Right. She has to use her fucking Ovaltine decoder to figure out what he actually meant. It's a classy move. This is a really classy move. Arkansas legislature just passed a bill called House Bill 1690 that enacts a one minute long, one minute, 60 fucking seconds, moment of silence at the beginning of school each day. It's just a pointless opportunity to try to ensconce some kind of prayer moment in the public schools.

And a woman wrote a letter for her daughter, you know, saying like, hey, you know, I've got an eight-year-old daughter. My daughter is not religious. What's the point of this? Arkansas schools need that time for education. They're like 50th in something, she said. Right. 50th. And Representative John Payton, whose image, by the way, is of a dude in a cowboy hat.

And now hold on. That is an insult to dudes in cowboy hats. No, it is. It is, absolutely. Because this guy does not look like a cowboy at all. What he looks like is one of those guys who listens to country music while he drives in his, like, really highly expensive SUV, and he's seen a couple horses. This cat, seriously, he's as pasty. There's no way this guy's done a day's work outside in his life unless he coats himself in sunscreen prior to it.

He's golem pasty. Yeah, he is. And he's wearing prison glasses. Look at the glasses he's wearing. You know what I mean? Those one-size-fits- all giant shop teacher prison glasses. He looks like Dahmer's uncle. But anyway, his response was basically to say, hey, Romans 1, 19 through 25 and Psalm 14, 1 address your concerns.

And Cecil, can you read part of Romans that he's referring to? Sure, sure. The Romans is, because that when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were they thankful, but became vain in their imaginations and their foolish heart was darkened, professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. Wow, so profound. It's such gibberish, too. I know. It's fucking, it's such garbage.

It's like the shit you wrote when you were, like, 12 and you were angsty, you know? And it's like, the Bible is just all fucking emo fucking poetry. That's all it is. Dude, it's, it's fucking breakup poetry. It's like the worst kind of poetry. It's like confessional breakup poetry. This shit belongs in a fucking non loose leaf binder. Yeah.

You know, one that like when you tear it out, it's all fucking raggedy and shitty on the edges. Right, right. You wrote this with a fucking gel pen in two different colors. Yeah. Maybe all the I's are little circles. The O's have little smiley faces. The O's have smiley faces. So Psalms, I want to read Psalms though so we don't forget because Psalms is better.

The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God. They are corrupt. They have done abominable works. There is none that doeth good. Yeah, that's exactly what you want to say about an eight-year-old. Hi, I'm eight years old. You have done no good. You have done abominable works.

Like what, hopscotch? What's my abominable work? I played jacks yesterday. What do you want? Are you kidding me? I'm in third grade. What abominable works have I committed? You know the thing that strikes me about this, and this isn't something I had

considered, because I always thought that moment of silence thing, I was like, whatever, who cares? Moment of silence, whatever. But it struck me thinking about this today, because this woman said her kid was picked on. And I wonder if the kids are noticing that she's not crossing her hands. She's not making a sign. She's not doing anything, the normal religious traditions that go with praying. She might be sitting there doing her work or something else, not sitting there quietly, not bowing her head, not folding her hands, those things that indicate prayer. And that is equally calling her out.

Yeah. I mean, it's an opportunity, I think, for people to spot differences. You know, so what are you supposed to do as somebody who doesn't believe during that moment of silence, except for sit there and feel singled out and awkward? Because, I mean, everybody knows what that moment of silence is being used for yeah and you're not using you're not genuflecting you're not fucking whatever and and let's let's also like go the other way like imagine if you were in a school in arkansas and you happened to be muslim would it be cool for you to fucking throw down the prayer rug yeah quietly ala akbar to yourself would that would people be really okay with that is that it's not people

wouldn't be okay with that you know so you can't use that time to effectively pray unless you're part of a specific set of faith traditions i mean it it's just, the moment of silence is a fucking moment wasted. It is, it is, totally. And the woman is right when she says, you know, that minute could be better spent. And a minute is a long time. I think this article, it could be written by Hemant here.

I'm not sure. I don't see the author here, but it is Hemant. So Hemant wrote this article, but at one point he's like, a full damn minute. He's like, do that. Just sit for a minute and think about it. And, you know, really sit for a minute and think about how fucking long that is.

And these kids have to sit in their desk completely silent for that long. I mean, it's ludicrous to think that they're going to throw this into law, that this is going to be something that these students are going to have to do when it can basically appoint them out to their peers as non-believers, when it can waste time like that. I mean, there's just no benefit to this and nothing's stopping those kids from coming into class while the kids are fiddling around with their fucking pencil boxes and hanging up their shoes and taking off their galoshes from sitting there and fucking praying. Right.

Yeah, there's plenty of opportunity if you want to pray in a school to pray quietly to yourself. You know, also think about how shitty it would be to be the teacher that happens to get this period. You know, like you've got these. I mean, everybody would have a first period or whatever. But I mean, those kids, those kids get shortchanged 180 minutes a year. They get shortchanged three hours of your instruction a year.

That's, I mean, are we supposed to think that that three hours of instruction over the course of a year is unimportant? Just valueless? That's true, man. There's a value being lost there. It adds up. This is Ken who says, why do amazing miracles like people being raised from the dead, blind eyes opened, lame people walking happen with great frequency in places like Africa and not here in the United States? What can we do to encourage those things to happen here? Is America too far gone for miracles like this? Those people overseas didn't go to Ivy League school.

Not quite that simple. Well, we're so sophisticated. We think we've got everything figured out. We know about evolution. We know about Darwin. We know about all these things that says God isn't real. We know about all this stuff. If we've been in many schools, the most advanced schools, we have been

inundated with skepticism and secularism. And overseas, they're simple, humble. You tell them God loves them and they say, OK, he loves me. You say God will do miracles and they say, OK, we believe him. And that's what God's looking for. That's why they have miracles. Pat Robertson, this is from The Raw Story. Robertson, God gives fewer miracles to too educated Americans who learn science. Televangelist Pat Robertson onay explained to his viewers that sophisticated americans received less miracles because they had learned things that got like they had learned things that says god isn't real like evolution i can't i can't even read that you can't speak like him come on do that that's like an incantation he's saying there i think that's got to be the

explanation that's why rational people experience explanation. That's why rational people experience less miracles. It's not because they look for better explanations. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're getting it all wrong. It's like, I keep on wanting him, we keep waiting him to put on a Hagrid beard and being like, you're a wizard, Harry.

You're a wizard. That's what I expect from him. It's just like, you got to believe, Harry. You got to believe you're a wizard, and then you're a wizard, you know? Like, that's what I expect from him. It's just like, you got to believe, Harry. You got to believe you're a wizard, and then you're a real wizard, you know? Like, you're just making shit up, dude. Like, really, the reason why those people in fucking Africa have more miracles is because they're credulous, man. Like, there's a reason why is because they want the people are, first off, there's no chance of substantiating any of the shit that they say. So this guy, I hope this guy who sent in an email was an actual troll.

Was like trolling Pat Robertson. The question, why do they have more miracles over there? Well, it's clearly because they're fucking more fucking, they're totally less skeptical about everything. I mean, they're fucking cutting humans up and eating them. I know. Is that a miracle, Pat? I mean, like, maybe somebody's name was Miracle, and you're spreading them on the bread,

and they're Miracle Whips now. That's like Vegemite. Yeah, like, it's fucking Miracle Whip, you know? Just going to spread this on the bread. Miracle Whip whip because we whipped miracle to death yeah and then we

Adam and then we fucking ate his whatever piece of him I love in this in this article Pat Robertson says we have been inundated

with skepticism and secularism and overseas they're simple yeah humble you tell them God loves them and they say oh okay he. You tell them God loves them, and they say, oh, okay, he loves me.

You say, God will do miracles. Do a miracle. Do a miracle, God. Not perform. You really don't do a miracle. Do a miracle. And they say, okay, we believe him. And that's what God's looking for.

That's why they have miracles. Really? Because I think things are better here. Yeah. Like, I'm just throwing this out there. Like, if God is intervening in all of the simple, I mean, what a fucking ass bag, the simple, humble places of the world. The simple, humble places still have polio. No kidding, right?

Like, great miracle. I have fucking, I have all the parasites. Great miracle. I have fucking, I have all the parasites. Great miracle. Hey, God, why don't you miracle a fucking well for me to drink out of? I know shit. It's like, well, I would like God to perform a miracle such as no more malaria. That would be a great miracle. What an amazing miracle God has done.

It's like, I don't want to have to walk into the bush and be afraid to get raped. Yeah, right. Well, that would be a fucking to walk into the bush and be afraid to get raped. Well, that would be a fucking miracle, actually. That would be a miracle. To be able to go around and not... They're living fucking short, brutish lives. They're living in parts of the world, in certain parts. I'm not saying all, please.

All of Africa, including South Africa. The entire continent. But obviously there are places in Africa and in the developing world that are not yet developed, and they are fucking miserable, awful, fucking horrible places to live. And that's where we're supposed to believe the miracles are occurring? That's the silliest shit I've ever heard. Well, you know, there needs to be some miracles for all those people who get put to death in Uganda for being gay. Right.

Where's their miracles? Yeah. It would be a miracle if this didn't happen. Well, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. God's got some conflicting ideas. God's experiencing a little cognitive dissonance on this one.

Yeah. God's having some dark thoughts and some alone time right now. God's in his masturbatorium. He can't alone time right now. God's in his masturbatorium. He can't see you right now. So we're going to take a quick break and give you ways in which to contact us, like our phone number. We should give that out.

I don't know. We never give that out ever. Except for now, when you can just listen to this bumper that we play of this lovely lady who's going to tell you our phone number. Want to contact Cognitive Dissonance? Visit them on Facebook. You can find the link at the website DissonancePod.com or type it in the Facebook search bar. Be sure to follow the guys on Twitter.

Their handle is at Dissonance underscore pod. The guys also post to Google Plus now too, so check them out there. And if you'd like to email them, you can do so at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. You can also leave a comment on the blog at their webpage or give them a call at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Long distance rates apply. And to everyone who listens, shares, retweets, or rates the show, Cognitive Dissonance would like to cordially thank you for all of your fucking support. So this week, Sam Harris got into an argument on...

I mean, it was like somebody misquoted Sam Harris talking about Islam from Al Jazeera. Glenn Greenwald then tweeted it and said it was an interesting comment by Sam, and then Sam got into a big deal with him. You can check out Sam's blog, SamHarris.org, and check out his side of the story. You can also check out an article that Glenn Greenwald penned right afterwards that goes after Sam Harris and his sort of view on Islam. But really, he's calling Sam Harris an Islamophobe. He's calling Sam Harris a racist because of his speaking out against Islam.

because of his speaking out against Islam. And Tom and I just wanted to talk a little bit about it because we have a bunch of stories here, like three in a row, that are just hideous and awful, and they come from Muslim countries, from places where Sharia law is, I mean, a couple of these where Sharia law is in place, and then other ones where people have to do awful things, you know, just to survive. Yeah. You know, there's a claim that's being made that Sam Harris and the new atheists, that

the atheism is a smokescreen, a kind of, you know, a cover for Islamophobia, for this idea that, and they're using this idea of Islamophobia, for this idea that, and, and, and they're, they're using this idea of Islamophobia to basically call out atheists as being, you know, racist or prejudiced. Um, and, and I would like to respond to that by saying, um, I am Islamophobic, but I'm also Christianophobic and Wiccanophobic, because I'm bullshit-aphobic. That's the aphobic that I am. If people are using a supernatural worldview to justify horrible insults to women, to children, to justify brutal torture, punishment, the selling of individuals to other people for sexual use or to use as explosive devices. Yeah, you better fucking believe it.

I'm Islamophobic. If that's if that is what the religion teaches, then I am a phobic of that. Like, it doesn't matter. It's not specifically brown a phobic. You know, it's not the thing. Yeah, it's bad ideas of phobic and this idea that we need to be tolerant of that Cecil that we need to say like well that's their religion that's their culture so it's all okay even if it's wrong that in and of itself is wrong yeah

and I and and some of the stuff that he has to say is you know like he was talking about uh you know he's he's conflating a couple of different things, Glenn Greenwald is, where he's talking about how just because they're doing the wrong things over there doesn't mean we should go over there and attack them and blow them up and, you know, shoot drones at them and do all this awful shit. And he's fucking absolutely right. Like, he's fucking, like, absolutely, bro. Fucking a million percent I agree with you.

Like, he's fucking, like, absolutely, bro. Fucking a million percent I agree with you. Just, you know, understand that there's no military interest in other parts of the world. You're making it seem like the reason we're going over there or the reason we should go over there is because of this stuff. No, we don't. Like, that's not the reason why the U.S. military is going over there. The reason why the U.S. military is going over there is because it's economically profitable for someone who's helping the U.S. military go where it needs to go. You know, read here all the politicians or the people who get you reelected. You know what I mean? Like these are the people who are going to get you reelected. So there's a, you know, there's business ventures, there's things that

are opening up when you go over and displace a leader like that. So shit like that opens up, you know, I mean, lots of money starts flowing in, and it's good for other people. That's why they go to war. I was telling Tom before we started, they would play fucking sword baseball with babies over there, and we wouldn't give a fuck. Sword baseball. We wouldn't care one eye. Like, you could use a baby as a fucking T-ball rack and hit the fucking T, just knock the baby's head clean. Nobody would care.

They wouldn't be fucking flying drones in there. Let me tell you, if they were doing it with their own kids, absolutely not. You know, they stone women to death. You know, they're not flying drones in over there because of that. So, you know, don't conflate the two things. It's not the same thing. It's awful what they're doing, but it's also equally awful when a Christian does it. You know, when Christians do some crazy shit, when the, you know, the Christian, we talked about it

a long time ago, when they're beating their children to death because it says, spare the rod or spoil the child. You know, that's horrific, awful shit. That is some shit that does not get you out of prison in my book. That is some shit that keeps you there in a dark hole by yourself forever, you know, if it's possible. That's what I think. And the same thing applies to when they stone women to death or when they, you know, they gang rape women because they weren't wearing a fucking head veil or, you know, they basically stone two people who are in love and, you know, wound up just, you know, having sex or even touching or looking at each other, you know, all those different things that happen because, you know, because religion says it's okay to do this sort of thing. You're, it's barbaric. You can't look at that and think that's a good way

to live. And if people were living nowadays in the same way that the Bible prescribes 100%, just like Sharia law, if we were, there was a country on earth that the Bible was in 100%, here's how we have to live our life just as the Bible said, I would think that country is equally crazy as, say, Saudi Arabia. Sure. I would think that's equally nuts. I would think that that's crazy. I would denounce them.

I would have stories on this show every week about them. And he's making this claim about the new atheist, new atheist, and that doesn't make any sense. New atheist, what does that mean? I told Tom earlier that's like saying the new people who don't collect stamps. That's a ridiculous statement. That's not a group. There's

humanists out there, and what they are doing is anti-humanist. When they're injuring their population, when they're subjugating parts of their population. You can't turn a blind eye to that shit just because we're lobbing bombs at them currently. Well, and let's talk about some of the stories that are coming out of that part of the world. Some of the stories that, you know, if we cover these stories, Cecil, maybe we're being Islamophobic. Whatever, man. Fucking up. You know, that's dumb. That's all I'm saying.

Right. I mean, I'm right there, man. Like, fuck that cultural relativism stuff. It just doesn't work. From humanevents.com, and I will preface this with saying, this story we were not able to vet with another source, and we're not familiar with humanevents.com. New fatwa permits rape of non-Sunni women in Syria. That shit is just what that shit sounds like. An Islamic cleric made it permissible for the Islamic fighters waging a jihad in Syria to rape

the nation's women if they're part of the non-Sunni Muslim sect. How a religious leader can be like, go ahead and rape them. Just rape them. Because my God said it's okay. That's some weird shit.

How do you get there from here? That's some weird shit. I want to read directly from the article. Again, I think this article is more editorial than it is factual. So just be aware that when I'm reading this that that's the tone that this article is taking. when I'm reading this, that that's the tone that this article is taking. It says, a few months earlier, Saudi preacher Mohammed al-Arifi also issued a fatwa allowing jihad fighters to engage in intercourse marriage with captive Syrian women that lasts for a few hours in order to give each fighter a turn, also known as gang rape. And then this one at the

bottom, it says, the Kuwaiti activists went on to offer concrete suggestions. For example, in the Chechnyan war, surely there are female Russian captives. So go and buy those and sell them here in Kuwait. Better than that, have our men engage in forbidden sexual relations. I don't see any problem with this, not any problem at all. And that's ridiculous. I mean, the idea is that is that, you know, if they don't believe the same structure that you do, if they don't have the same, you know, belief system as you, it's okay to, you know, rape them, which is, you know, really, you know, probably it's, it's the one step up on the ladder from death. You know, rape is, is as close to death as you get, you know, as far as awful

shit goes. And for some people, death is preferable to rape. So the idea here is that it's okay to totally scar someone for the rest of their life. Why should we let that have a place in the marketplace of ideas? Why should we be, just say, that's some fucking fine shit that you said there, bro. Let that into the fucking marketplace of ideas and let's let it see where it goes. You know where it's going to go? Nowhere, because nobody thinks this, except for crazy people. Well, you know, there's no

good to be had in looking at a story like this and being like, hey, hey, who am I to judge? What right do I have to criticize another culture? Really? What right do you have to criticize? Well, I don't know. Maybe when the culture is drawing ethnic lines and dividing one from the other in order to create a subhuman class that can be brutally and systematically raped and murdered, maybe that's the time. Maybe that's when you step in and say, oh, wait,

I don't actually want to live in a world like that. I don't want to accept a world like that. I will speak out. If nothing else, if I can do no other thing, I will speak out and denounce that. denouncing evil you can't go that wrong like even if you come back and say later hey it turns out my heart was in the right place i thought that shit was some evil shit later evidence has surfaced and maybe i you know i can't imagine that i i just can't these some shit is just cut and dry but you're not gonna you're not ever to sell me that this isn't our business to talk about, to discuss, to say no to. The idea here is, I don't want to come off either, though, as saying this is what all people who believe in Islam think, because it's not true. It's just not true. The same thing goes for when we talk about a Christian story and you have some jackass up there saying, you know, go play Farm Vale and leave your kids in the fucking, you know, the public school and they come out godless sodomites. Not all Christians think that, right?

We're just calling attention to the people who do think that because you know what? Those are people who are standing somewhere telling other people what to think and people are listening to them. Okay. It's not just a fucking isolated incident. This is a cleric. This is somebody who has an audience, whether it's fucking 10 people, a hundred people, a thousand people, people are listening to them. And that's dangerous. It's dangerous speech. When you say go out there and rape somebody. Um, and it's not, it's not isolated speech. You know, there's a story out of International Business Times.

Saudi Arabia beheads and crucifies a Yemeni man for sodomy. They didn't just behead the guy. I can't even speak. They didn't even just behead the guy. They fucking crucified him afterwards. They crucified a beheaded corpse. Now, Saudi Arabia, incidentally, doesn't have a standard legal system. They don't have a system of laws. What they have is a set of judges who enforce Sharia law.

You know, that's where these ideas come from. enforce sharia law right you know that's that's where these ideas come from that's where in 2013 a dude's head was cut off and his fucking corpse was nailed to a couple of sticks that is a thing that happened the head being cut off tom is the least crazy part of that story because they reported we just did a story on them, they reported more fucking beheadings than the fucking, like, Amnesty International had counted for that year. Like, no, no, no, don't you short us six beheadings. We had six more beheadings than you gave us credit for. Well, the thing is that nobody was counting the eight heads in the duffel bag.

Yeah, right, yeah. Joe Pesci was over there. Forget about it, huh? No, but this is great. I love the picture here because when I first saw it, I was like, that doesn't look like it's going to cut anybody's head off. And then I saw it was a mock beheading. I was like, that sword doesn't look like it's going to do much.

It looks like it's cardboard. Yeah, that's not. That's why they're having such a hard time attracting executioners. Right, because they've got to use the cardboard sword. That takes so many whacks. Oh, my gosh. It's those paper cuts that kill it, though. You'll spend all day doing that.

God damn. Who wants to do that? Back in the day when my dad was a union swordsmith, forget about it. You just every day, you're banging out 20, 30 heads a day, no problem. Now with all these regulations. When the scabs come in, they park like a headless rat in front of the arena. That's awesome. They're marching around with headless rats on sticks.

At what point are you looking at something like this and being like, all right, we're going to kill the guy. Cut his head off. Not enough. Crucify him. He's already dead. Look, don't argue with me or I'll cut your head off. And you know what they said, like his crime was like armed robbery or attempted armed

robbery. And I'm just thinking, who does anything wrong in a place where you can fucking, where there's no laws and somebody could just look at you and be like, you're going to die today. Yeah, right. Look at something like this and try to defend the death penalty from a deterrence standpoint.

If it worked, nobody would be dying in Saudi Arabia in one year. It's very true. You'd have one year of everybody getting their fucking heads cut off and then everybody like, whoa, whoa. They they fucking mean business it's not like when dad's like i'm gonna throw your toys away and then your toys don't get thrown away instead it's like dad saying i'm gonna cut your fucking head off and nail you to a tree i'm gonna let's fuck I'll fuck anything that moves

and see so this story comes from RaymondIbrahim.com what? I know right? what? this is not a real blog probably not and this is actually Raymond Ibrahim the same guy that wrote

that other spurious story that we covered earlier right so i'm not i i i don't know um but but this one's great it's too good to not talk about fatwa bans men from being alone with quote handsome young boys it is forbidden to be around handsome youth, those beardless boys who have a touch of temptation in them. I love it, man. I love it. The idea here is that it's not just women that they have to hide their face from. It's that they're, you know, look, some days you're just so horny as a dude, you may fuck a young boy. A beardless one with temptation.

Because you know what? You're just such a fucking, like, you're such a fuck machine. And your hands, your hands don't work. Your hands obviously have, they can't. Either that or just you have like, like everybody in Muslim countries has little T-Rex arms. And they can't reach down that far. You know, and they're just like, well, I can't either that or just you have like like everybody in Muslim countries has little T-Rex arms and they can't reach. They can't reach down that far. You know, and they're just like, well, I can't reach it.

You know, look, Billy, you're just going to have to bend over so I could fuck you in the ass. I know it's probably going to hurt a lot. But, you know, I'll just bring a lot. I mean, we got a lot of oil over here, so I'll use as much lube as I can. And just run around thrusting uncontrollably. That's it. Springing petrol everywhere. We're at a point, Cecil, where tubular fruits are not allowed to be handled by women.

Men and women can't be in the same room together. Now men and boys can't be in the same. Everybody's going to have to live in a fucking isolation chamber covered in burlap sacks. Like that's the only way. And that's no good for the burlap fetishists. They're going to be thrilled. There's a part of this at the bottom. It says, this is the greatest.

It says, fatwas, which seem to get worse with each passing year, such as recommendations that Muslims drink camel union. Camel union. It's a camel union. That Muslims drink camel union. I now join this camel. For its salutary benefits based on Prophet Muhammad's advice like you're listening to a guy

who was drinking camel urine I thought the same thing it's like imagine the advice column ask stinky breath it's like Muhammad was like a fucking medieval Bear Grylls you know what I mean breath. It's like Mohammed was like a fucking medieval Bear Grylls.

You know what I mean? I think it would be awesome to have an advice column where the response to every problem is more camel urine. That's what the Bear Grylls meme is on Reddit, where it's just like something happened, better drink my own piss. It's the same thing here.

It's like, this thing, drink some camel urine. I don't know what to do. My mother-in-law is coming to town and we don't have an extra bedroom. Have you tried camel urine? Somebody needs to start that meme. That's awesome. I'm not sure that's going to happen. I don't think that's useful.

That's not useful advice, Mohammed. I think that's useful. That's not useful advice, Mohammed. So we got some emails. We got some voicemails. I just want to say for all the people who send in emails to us that say, hey, we love the show, blah, blah, blah. Just remember you can ease your pain very quickly and easily come to the point by just typing one word, no hyphen, glory hole. No hyphen. I like that we don't want them to hyphenate that shit.

If you put a hyphen in there, we think you might not like the show. We're not sure what that means, actually. But glory hole. That's all you got to say. Glory hole, one word. You could put an exclamation point after it if you really like the show, but we understand what you mean. If you just type glory hole, we know you like the show. What about Glory Glory Hallelujah Hole?

That's not the same thing. That would not work. That's from the south. So we do have some voicemails that I want to play now. We got a lot of different voicemails. The first one I'm going to play is a recording. It was a voice recording because the person called in and their voicemail got cut off, but it's Chris from Doubtcast left a message.

We got a message from Jewish God, one from Esme, one from Logan, who was very, very high, and a guy who thinks we missed the point. Hey, Cecil and Tom. This is Chris from the Doubtcast podcast. I heard you guys on the last episode were talking about the Book of Mormon and Teresa and I just happened to have tickets to go see the show. We just went the other night. I gotta say, I was

pretty offended. Before the show there, I was out in the lobby. I got a double crown royal on the rocks right before the show. It cost $18. That's like half the price of the bottle. But seriously, the show was $18. That's like half the price of the bottle. But seriously, the show was fucking fantastic. It was raunchy as hell. There were some great songs like Fuck Off God. Teresa loved Spooky Mormon Hell Dream. But Trey and Matt, they hit it right out of the park. They highlighted

the ridiculous nature of how new religions are formed. You take a group of people that are down on their luck. They take a little bat shit crazy from another religion. You take a group of people that are down on their luck, they take a little batshit crazy from another religion, you add it into your own beliefs, make up some new fiction to fill in the gaps here and there, and that's how bad ideas continue to spread and new sects of religion are formed. This happens all the time. So Cecil, you said it was cool if we plugged our podcast.

We have a new podcast. We're only about five episodes in right now. It's called The Doubtcast. Basically, it's Teresa and I, former Catholics, sitting around in our living room bullshitting about religion and nonsense beliefs. It's a fun, relaxed show. It's the way you would talk about religion with your friends, poking fun at it, not getting really overly technical. If that's people's thing and they want to hear it, we'd love if you check it out. You can search The Doubtcast. You'll find us in all the usual places like

Blogspot, Twitter, iTunes, Stitcher, and Facebook. So, it's a new show. We're still finding our groove, but thanks for giving us a chance to plug it. Appreciate it, guys. Love the show. Oi! Oi! Tommy! Cecil! It's God! Oh, you're good boys.

I'm glad you're bringing a little truth around. Keep up the good work. You've earned a place in heaven. Hi, Cecil and Tom. This is Esme, and as usual, I'm a huge fan. I mean, I say it all the time, but I'm calling because one, you guys never

give your phone number out during your show anymore, and I would, it would be a miracle like on the same level as they were having on the Bible, the set of the Bible, History Channel's Bible. Anyway, I am calling because on a recent podcast, you guys talked

about your shirts. And I definitely want to get a shirt because I want to advertise cognitive dissonance in ways other than telling all my friends and anyone that listens to listen to your podcast. And a shirt is a great way. But when you guys said your prices, I was like, what? Now, to be honest, I haven't... Oh, my mom's coming in. She might interrupt this. One second, Mom. I'm in my car. Oh, gosh. Why is the women's shirt $35 and the

men's shirt $30? Okay, unless the women's shirt is much faster and has cute cap sleeves. Oh, Mom. Okay, goodbye, guys. Hey, guys. This is Logan from Arkansas. Here's a little bit of a spoiler alert. I'm kind of high right now.

Anyway, I just stumbled across this video of Glenn Beck talking, and I usually try to avoid those, but I happened to watch this one, where I'm pretty sure he blamed the Arab Spring on Barack Obama. And that kind of made me go, what? And Glenn Beck's whole point is that Barack Obama spoke at Cairo University because of the Arab Spring, cool point is that Barack Obama spoke at Cairo University because of the Arab Spring and that he's

speaking at a university in Israel to do the same thing in Israel. And I, man, I just, my jaw hit the floor. I had no idea what the fuck was going on. So, I just wanted to share

that little moment with you. I thought you would appreciate it and everybody else would I'll send you the video in an email okay have a nice day night time whatever it is peace hey guys episode 90 whatever

whatever the last one was you were talking about the prison system in the United States. I think you guys missed a point. You made a bunch of good points, but one point I think you missed was society's outlook on prisoners when they come out. I mean,

when people come out of prison, especially if they know somebody or whatever, there's a whole lot of internet stuff that they can, like, dig up or whatever, and they can still hold it against them, you know, rehabilitated or not. Somebody coming out of the U.S. prison system is still totally looked down upon, as if they're wearing the scarlet letter. And of course it's impossible for them to get a job.

And like I said, you guys made, you know, incredible points about how people need to be rehabilitated. you know, incredible points about how people need to be rehabilitated, but in addition to the prisoners and the convicts behind bars having less sentences and being rehabilitated, we've got to rehabilitate the people in society, the people that those prisoners are going to come and rejoin. Like, we need to have a better outlook and be like, okay, yeah, this person fucked up.

Yeah, this person did a thing. Yeah, this guy went behind bars for X, Y, Z number of years. But now he's out, and now he's okay. Or at least we hope he's okay. We talk about the one side, but you've got to talk about the other side too. I think maybe you guys have some sort of rebuttal or opinion about the people who have never been there or potentially will never go. It's just something you didn't touch upon, and I was maybe a little shocked. Anyway, fantastic work on your show as always, and I hope to hear your rebuttals.

Thanks, guys. So we want to thank Chris from Doubtcast. You can always check his podcast out. He gave you the Doubtcast. You can always check his podcast out. He gave you the information in his voicemail to check his podcast out. We want to thank Jewish God for calling in and saying we're good boys. We appreciate it. Oy vey. Logan was very high, and he talked about Glenn Beck,

which basically Glenn Beck blamed the Arab Spring on Obama and then said he was going to go do that. The same thing in Israel. Basically have like a Jew Spring. I don't know. I mean, I don't even know what that is. Esme, I got to say, we give the number out every episode in the middle of the episode. We specifically warned you this episode when it was coming up so you would know when it's coming. But we give it out.

But I'm also kind of insulted because I would have thought that we would have been programmed into her phone by now. Yeah, I thought we'd be at least number three on the speed dial. You know, the old press and old numerical speed dial shenanigans. What a shame. We didn't make the speed dial.

It's like that old Seinfeld where he's trying to make his way up the speed dial. I don't know if you saw that one. He's trying to work his way up the speed dial on his girlfriend's speed dial and he's fighting with her mother or something to get on number six. To get the number one spot. Yeah, to get number six. They're not even fighting for number one.

To address your point and also Esme, hey. Hey to your mom. Hey, what's up? Esme's mom. We can your mom. Yeah, hey, what's up, my wife? What's up, Esme's mom? You know, we can't control that the girls' shirts are more expensive. They need the additional cloth for the boobies, is my guess. That is it. That is exactly it.

And because I think the world hates women. That's probably a big part of it. Actually, the thing is, is that if you don't want to spend $35 on a shirt, you could just donate $15 and we would see more of that money than if you bought a shirt. The man speaks the truth. So just if you don't want to have a shirt. Yeah, the whole idea with the shirt thing was to give you something in return for helping out. If you don't want a thing in return, great. You could donate if you want a thing and you want the other shirt. The other shirt's $25, though.

So you're not really saving a lot. It's $10 you're saving. Unless you want to wear a guy's shirt. But guy's shirts look weird on women. They do. Because of the boobies. Well, they're not delightfully contoured. Yeah, that's the problem.

And without that delightful, well, we'll move on. We've got to move on. Tom's going to need a long time. That delightful L. We'll move on. We've got to move on. Tom's going to need a long time. To miss the point, Guy, he basically wanted to say that society needs to basically count the debt of anybody who comes out of prison paid in full. I think we agree with you, and we did agree with you last time.

We might not have mentioned it as clearly, but we want to thank you for calling in. We miss a lot of things. There's just only so much time that we can do doing the podcast, And sometimes you forget things, you might write something down and you forget it. So if we miss it and we, you know, it gives it a chance, the audience a chance to actually interact too and call up and we're happy that you got that. You actually called in and gave us a shout out. So that's great time. We want to thank the following people for PayPal donations, people for PayPal donations. Steven, Antoine, Will, Marcel, and Justin, thank you all for

your generous donations. We want to thank everybody who donates. You can donate on our page. The Help Send Us to Tam fund is starting to get a little more healthy and we're very happy for everyone who has taken the time out of their day and the

dollars out of their pocket to help send our fat asses to Tam. We are absolutely appreciative of it. I'm going to bet it all on black once we get there. I'm just saying. All of our money. That's what you do. We got an email, Tom, from Phil or Phillip.

And Phillip says, just started listening to you guys and he loves the show. Just remembers Phil. In the future, you could just say glory hole. And it says, by the way, I'm looking for an anti-theistic podcast suited for 10 to 15-year-olds. We were thinking about this beforehand, and a couple of them we came up with. I think the atheist experience might be useful to someone that age because that's going to give them all the arguments you need.

And I think when you're that age, it's really helpful to have that sort of debate structure and the ideas and learning, not just arguments against religion, but also just good logical arguments because they are all very well suited to explaining logical arguments and they're all really smart people. So I would say that's a good podcast, a good YouTube slash podcast that they could watch and listen.

I would also recommend The Thinking Atheist. That's an excellent podcast. It's totally clean for that age group. And that's one of those welcome and open arms type of podcasts. You certainly couldn't get a nicer host, and the callers are certainly really interesting. So if those kids, I hate to say kid, 10 to 15 is not really a kid, but if that kid is looking for a place to sort of feel like they can belong, a place to call, a sort of virtual home, the Thinking Atheist would provide that for them, I think. I call 25-year-olds kids. I call everybody a kid when I'm yelling at them to get off my lawn.

So we got an email from Ted and Diana. They sent us a wonderful image of them. You guys, if you are on Facebook, you should upload this to Facebook because it's a great image of them and Aaron Ra standing all three in a row, one higher than the other, all with their arms on each other's shoulders. And those two are wearing cognitive dissonance shirts. They went to NapCon, which I'm not sure what that is. I didn't bother to look it up either. Didn't bother to look it up either. But basically they went to a convention where a bunch of people were like smiling at them and I guess complimenting them about the shirt or at least maybe thinking that they were part of cognitive dissonance.

And I'm wondering which one – I'm wondering which one of us is the girl. That's all I'm wondering, Tom. It's always you. OK. Fair enough. I'm just saying in any relationship. We want to thank you for listening, though, and thank you for supporting the show. Thank's all I'm wondering, Tom. It's always you. Okay, fair enough. I'm just saying, in any relationship. We want to thank you for listening, though, and thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for buying shirts, and we're very happy that you did it.

And if you want to post this on Facebook, I will share it then, and so everybody can see it, not just us. Yvonne sends us an email and asks, out of curiosity, if I were to buy the app, how would it be better than just downloading each week from iTunes and updating it from iPod? So you haven't bought the app and you're asking me?

Oh, my gosh, the app will change your life. It is a life-changing application for your smartphone. It's unbelievable. It's nearly as good as the Stitcher app, which is absolutely free. It will do nothing for you, Yvonne. It will do nothing at all. We sell the app every week, but the app is so we get a dollar.

That's all it is. It's so we get a dollar. It's not a good app. It's an okay app. I don't think it's awful, but it's not the greatest app. It's just a useful tool for you to connect with us, but you can do it with Stitcher. You can do it with your podcast app, which is what you're currently doing it with. I use the app.

I like the app. I use it all the time. I think it's good, but I think Stitcher is just as good. I just don't think that the audio quality is as high on Stitcher, but you have more availability of other shows on Stitcher. So I do use Stitcher. Don't tell them that. And then I also listen on the podcast app. I think the podcast app is a little slow, and I'm not a huge fan of it, the iTunes podcast app.

Yeah, I don't like the new iTunes podcast app. I'm not a fan of it, but there's other ways to listen. And feel free to listen however you like. We're just happy you listen. And if you want to give money back to the show, there's grades. You can buy the app if you're the cheap bastard. You can buy the app. You can work your way up to like the $35 shirt with the boobies.

I mean, it's up to you. It's like an NPR pledge drive, but you're just always disappointed in the app. I feel like I'm selling everything now. Gosh, I feel like such a dirt ball. I got an email from Pat, and Pat says, Hi, guys, just sitting around killing some time on the job on the gooder than most Fridays and thought I'd play with the Skeptic's Creed and Google Translate. So he ran it through Arabic, Hungarian, Welsh, and Catalan before returning it to English,

and this is how it turned out. I'm actually going to read this at the end of the show. So I'm going to read this and put the monk music underneath it. So this is what's going to play at the very end of the show, but we want to thank Pat for playing it. So when you hear the Skeptic's Creed this time, it's really going to be the naivete virtue. That's what it's going to be called.

That's awesome. I don't think you'll be disappointed. We got a suggestion for the movie review. The person who's looking for a movie review podcast, Morton sends in a message and just says, maybe you should check out Two Mugs and a Movie. So if you do a search, you can find them. Two Mugs and a Movie will take you to, I think,

a Google Plus thread, and you can check it out. I guess they do a podcast, too. Eden Prime called in last week and said he thought it was awesome that we are using the Islamic call to prayer as a contest, but he wants to make sure that he's included in the contest. Yes, you are the first entry. And only. Well, there's two entries. We got another one, but it wasn't really sung out loud.

It's not sung out loud. Yeah. Tom, we got an email from Wally Weeksauce. Yes, we did. Wally Weeksauce says, among other things, that he is interning at a maximum security prison mental health unit. It's been a great experience, but grueling. It's such a grim place. You often end up spending more time helping people cope with being there,

let alone dealing with their original crime. I appreciate you giving some attention to this overlooked part of our culture. Well, we overlooked evidently something very important when we did, according to one of our listeners. But thank you very much for the work that you're doing in the prison system. I think that shit is fucking vital and I appreciate the thanks. We got an

email from someone who's daring me to pronounce their name. Here we go. Okay, you ready, Tom? Yeah, do it. Loran. Loran. Loran. Loran. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I'm sure you're 100%. I'm sure you fucking nailed it. I'm always 100% right. So it's Loran.

But Loran sent us an email about the Dutch Bible Belt, which is something I had no idea such a thing even existed. Yeah, I would think it's just all windmills. Like I just imagine nothing but windmills. So I was surprised there was a Dutch Bible Belt. I also like that it's like Escape from Witch Mountain, you know, but the Bible Belt. I also like that the it's like Escape from Witch Mountain you know, but the Bible Belt version. It's just like it, Tom. I'm sure it was exactly the same thing.

It's exactly the same thing. I fucking nailed it. Loran, please feel free to give us a call and give us a correct pronunciation of your name. We got an email from Stealth Atheist who submits his My Sharia as his call to prayer. So I'm going to play that for you right now. So that's good. If you want to participate in our contest, you can always call us at the number at the middle of the show.

So you have to rewind all the way to the middle of the show. Or go to our website where you can find the number to call us. Or you can record a voice memo on your phone and do your best imitation of the Islamic call to prayer. We're going to be picking a winner within the next couple weeks. And then we're going to be sending them a shirt, one of our brand-new shirts in white and extra large. That's the only option for the size. We just assume all of our listeners are extra large. Right, there's no reason not to assume that.

Because let's face it, if you could get up and walk away from this show, you would. What I like to say, too, is if you can't use it as a shirt, then at least you can use it as a parachute. There you go. It'll make a fine tent with a few sticks in it. It'll be fine, yeah. For you and 20 of your closest friends. We got an email, Tom, and this is a question that gets asked all the time. All the time.

It's to you. It's from Randall. Captain Randall from Sarasota, Florida asks about dolphins, Tom. Yeah, people wonder why dolphins are included in the skeptics' creed. It's just because people are fucking nuts about dolphins, man. There's like all this new age hippie dip bullshit that revolves around, of all things, dolphins. Like there's this crazy idea that I've come across in any number of locations that like dolphins are space aliens or dolphins telepathically communicate with other people or dolphins are some kind of fucking spirit animal to the human race. And like dolphins are just fucking beloved of the unicorn trapper keeper nut jobs.

Like if you have too many candles, too much incense stink all over you. And a fucking trapper keeper with a kitten or a unicorn on it. You fucking love dolphins. And you love them in a way that is unseemly. It's just unhealthy. It's just an unhealthy love. And that's what you're getting at. See, because I watch dolphin shows all the time on CNN

that say that they're from other worlds. I don't know where you get this shit from. CNN. They are. It's Fox News. They're from other worlds, man. That's just how it is. That's how it works.

It's like people took Douglas Adams too seriously. I know. That's Fox News. They're from other worlds, man. That's just how it is. That's how it works. It's like people took Douglas Adams too seriously. I know. That's where I keep thinking. Whenever you say that, I'm always just like, man, that's a fucking book I read. I know, but there's people who really think they can telepathically communicate with dolphins, man. I mean, that's like a – it's more of like a late 80s, early 90s thing, but, and it just punctuates in the poem better. It does. It does.

I like the Dolphins line. I don't know. I mean, these people are Dolphin haters. That's all there is to it. Why do you hate Dolphins, Captain Randall? He does not hate Dolphins. So we're going to end the show this week, like I said, with a different skeptics creed. I'm going to read it for you.

It's called the naivete virtue, we're going to end the show this week, like I said, with a different skeptics creed. I'm going to read it for you. It's called the naivete virtue. We're going to call it this time. And we'll be back next week with a fun-filled show full of Islamophobia, racism, and all the other great things that Glenn Greenwald is going to tweet about this week. The naivete virtue. That a property. Cakes. Section. Mother issues. Cakes. Section. Mother Issues.

Hypno. Babylon Silly. Come, Scientician. Double Bubble and Fatigue. Problem. Nearly False Alternative. Dripping Acupressure Stereotactic. Free Energy Healing Hierarchical.

Sales Brain Deadpan SEF to Spiral Down at Night. Infodocutainment. Whale Lou Cancer Detox Massage Treatments Reflex LAB. Death Tarot Cards and Towers. Psychological Healing Crystal Balls. Bigfoot Yeti Abroad. Churches, Mosques, and Synagogues. Churches.

Dragon. Large Worms. Atlantis Dolphin. Birthers Truthers. Magi Magi. New Vaccines. Healers Semen. Evangelicals.

Scars Facing Conspiracy Nonsense. Find a Profile. Press Your Hands. Bleeding. Clearly. Final. I doubt we can. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. That was so great. I was like, what was it? Spirit magic? And you're like, spirit magic. I was like what was it spirit magic and you're like spirit magic

helmet I was like that's so funny because you're saying it and you're setting it up so perfectly I didn't realize you were landing it

you know what I mean like sometimes you have to land the joke and I didn't recognize that you were landing it that was great