Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 97: My Snake Has Subluxations

Episode Date: April 29, 2013

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Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app. Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. So instead of a clip this week, I wanted to come to you to talk to you about a Google Plus community that started this last week. It's up to 160 members now. the members now. It's for fans of incredulous, religiosophy, skeptic zone, cognitive dissonance, and like-minded podcasts. The people who put it together wanted to get a discussion board going,

and they thought Google Plus was the best place to put it. A lot of these people frequent Google Plus, so they already have somewhat of a community there. Unlike the Facebook page that we currently have where we send things out and we're sort of front and center, Cognitive Dissonance posts are front and center, and your posts, you have to sort of sort to find posts that are posted by people. Your posts here are front and center. So it's a community based with listeners of these podcasts and they share ideas and get into discussions and those sorts of things. So if you're interested in this, I think this is probably a much better place to find people and to communicate with people directly rather than communicating directly with us. The Facebook page and the Twitter feed right now and even the Cognitive Dissonance page on Google Plus are great ways to get in touch with us and send us stories and things like that. But if you're interested in starting discussion and holding discussions on certain stories that we haven't posted, this might be a great option for you.

So check it out. I'm going to put it on the notes for this episode. So all you have to do is just go to DissonancePod.com, click on this episode, episode 97, and you should be able to find the link directly to the Google Plus community. You have to ask to join, but all you have to do is ask. They're just making sure that you're not a robot or something. And this should actually free us from any contractual obligations to mention Google Plus again on our show in perpetuity.

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 98. No, it's not. Fuck you, really?

No, you messed up last week. It was 96. Fuck you. I want it to be 98. It's closer. Fuck you. Really? No. You messed up last week. It was 96. Fuck you. I want it to be 98. It's closer. You skipped over 96. 96 can suck a fat one. Now we're doing two 97s in a row, goddammit.

God. Really? Did I do that? Yeah, you totally did. I can't add one to a number. Where are you looking anyway that you're getting? Who looks at these things? You're just guessing.

Look, I've guessed 96 fucking times before I got it wrong. I just want to point out real quick on the Google fucking dock that we have both open on our computer what fucking episode it is. The one that says notes episode 97? The one that I'm like... Oh my god

Look I have no excuse It's gonna be a long show It's always gonna be a long show I can't believe I did that really Holy shit It's 97 again Cause we weren't as happy with 97 as we could be

That's the gooberest thing. I can't believe I'm actually a grown man that's employed and owns a home. I can't count to 100 well. I can't operate anything. Tom has a hard time around 96 and 97 when he gets to it. Those are the difficult numbers. I gotta teach my, like, I gotta kindergarten, I gotta teach him to count to 100 and be like

95, I don't know, 97? Fuck it, who cares? 95, 95, 95. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, this story comes from syndicated news services breaking news from around the world to your neighborhood. Canadian terror suspect decries charges in hearing. I love this fucking story.

This cracked me up. Basically, this dude whose name is fucking unpronounceable by man or beast. Cheheb Ezehahire. You fucking nailed it. Nailed it. He had a plot to blow up a train. He was foiled He had a plot to blow up a train. He was foiled. Foiled again.

To blow up a train fucking Snidely Whiplash style. I hear he also had a damsel tied to the rails too. Well, they caught him because he was twirling his mustache. It's a mustache profiling. That's awesome, man. It's because he profiling That's awesome man It's cause he had one of those He had an all black suit on with a black top hat And you know

You just know how bad they are You just know Well it was easy to catch him cause he was the black spy So they just sent the white spy To catch him But he's you know In Canada they busted this guy And they brought him up he's, you know, in Canada they busted this guy and they brought him up on charges of, you know,

trying to blow up a train. Right. And he basically said that all these conclusions are based on a criminal code, which wasn't based on the Koran. So he's, like, refusing to recognize the authority of the court. Which doesn't work. he's refusing to recognize the authority of the court. Which

doesn't work. I was going to say, how's that going for you, big guy? It's like, imagine when you were in school, right? Anybody who got bullied, anybody who got bullied in your life can appreciate this. Imagine if you were in one

of those bully circles, right? Where you've got six big dudes and they're pushing you back and forth. And you're doing that thing where you're getting pushed around. You're like, ah, someone's going to get tired of pushing and take a swing and then I'm going to get beat up. And I know how this works. And all of a sudden you were like, I don't recognize your authority to push me around. They're still going to push you around. They have all the power. You have none of the power.

Right. What's his plan here? What's the next step? I mean, well, you know, obviously he's going to go to pound me in the ass prison. Because what's the other option? Just be like, oh, you don't recognize it? Shit. Bailiff, can you uncuff him and just let him go?

Just let him go. I mean, fuck. We didn't realize he didn't fucking recognize our laws. Like, they're going to look around and be like, did somebody ask him before you arrested him if he recognized the sovereignty and authority of our laws? And no? Fucking, you didn't even ask? some uh fucking whack jobs out there who take their cameras out and uh they'll walk down like streets with like loaded ak-47s in the united states just to get harassed by cops so they could spout their rights at the cops right and then they videotape it there's a bunch of these people out

there right they like they call themselves like free men or something and they like say that they don't recognize the courts of the United States and things like that. And one of the things that they say is that, you know, like they know the Constitution or at least parts of it pretty well and some legal statutes pretty well. So then they spout off about this stuff. But there was a guy who was in a courthouse and he wanted to go in and see the judge and he has camera. And the bailiff or whoever the dude is, is not letting him in. He's like, you cannot come in with the camera. He's like, why?

Are you going to do something to me in there? He's like, no, the camera's just not allowed. And he's like, well, I'm going to go past. He's like, no, you're not, sir. You're not going to get in here with the camera. He's like, why? I'm allowed to film in there. He's like, no, you're not allowed to film in there.

And no, you're not going to take the camera in there. And then the guy, this whack job is like, well, I'm going to go past. And he takes a step in, guy puts his hand on his chest, pulls out a taser and electric. And he was like, you may not respect the authority of the bailiff, but you respect the authority of the fucking taser. There's a certain point where recognizing that you suddenly have the short end of the stick, it's just better just to be like, hey, can my prosecutor do a better job of this than I can? Or the prosecutor.

Can my defendant do a better job of this than I can? Chances are, yeah, they could probably do a little better job of this than you can. So shut the fuck up, your fucking crazy name, sir. Be quiet, Shabib, or whatever your name is, and let the guy who's defending you say what he needs to say so that you don't get fucking completely destroyed by the prosecutor. Yeah, you know, saying like, hey, I've thumped my holy book. Yeah. My holy book says I can blow up trains in your country. No one's going to believe that.

No one. That's not. How do you even think that that's going to be a convincing argument? I mean, you're in trouble here. You've got to you've got to try to talk your way out of it. Right. You have you're fucking busted. You've got to say like, whoa, whoa.

I wasn't really gonna blow up that train it was just like uh you know it was more of like a mental exercise like what would it be like if i blew up a train you know it was just fucking around just like blow your mind man like whoa you know how like guys will do be like hey man let's plan the perfect crime you know but we're not going to commit the perfect crime. We're just going to, you know, it's all just like a mental exercise about blowing up a fucking Amtrak or whatever the fuck. You can't instead be like, wrong holy book. I don't recognize your authority.

That's immediately going to put people off. And you're already in jail. Yeah, you've already tried to explode something, which normally puts people off too, it turns out. A lot of times they don't like that. They're not fans. You know, the one thing I wonder here too is like don't a lot of people just not travel by rail anyway? Isn't rail in the States kind of dead? And I know that they're going from Canada to the United States or whatever.

But I've ridden a train in Canada, and it wasn't very much more crowded than it was when it was in the United States. It was pretty much the same thing. It's like blowing up an abandoned factory. I know, man. It's like – Wow, man. Great. You killed a security guard.

You know what I mean? Like that's the – it just seems like there's so much better targets out there. Why are you, why are you planning this one? It's seriously, it's low rent dollar store fucking discount terrorism. That's what it is. Buy one, get one free terrorism. Right. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, I blew up a train and And you're trying to brag about it to the other terrorists. They're like, I blew up a train. They're like, a what? A train. Like, oh, what, did you go back in time to 1885 when fucking trains were relevant, motherfucker? Roll up a form of mass transportation. Yeah. Well, then he gets all his explosives from the dollar store.

So he pulls them out and he's like, D4? What the fuck is D4? None of the batteries hold enough charge to explode. T-N-N? What the heck is this? That's not the same thing at all. It's in a mock wrapper. It looks just like TNT.

It's like what I first thought when I thought sierra mist i'm like that's mountain dew you just you just use different words like you chose a mountain word and a do word and a do word and you just huh really this was to a desired end to track down a bad guy or an alleged but here's the here's the distinct here's the distinction Neil. I've never argued against any technology being used when you have an imminent threat, an active crime going on. If someone comes out of a liquor store with a weapon and $50 in cash, I don't care if a drone kills him or a policeman kills him. But it's different if they want to come fly over your hot tub or your yard just because they want to do surveillance on everyone and they want to watch your activity. So this story is from Real Clear Politics.

Senator Rand Paul, I'm not against using drones to find criminals. the heels of the uh the use of uh like infrared technologies and what have you um within the helicopter to find the guy who's hiding in the boat um you know the boston bomber marathon bomber guy um and uh ran paul um ran paul actually comes out and says if someone comes out of a liquor store with a weapon and fifty dollars in cash, I don't care if a drone kills him or a policeman kills him. And I thought, well, geez, I certainly do. I care in both cases, it turns out. I don't think we should be killing people with $50 who rob a liquor store.

Like, that's not a capital offense. It seems – I mean it's so funny too because the idea here is that we're OK with flying drones around to injure people. I mean at least he seems to be OK with that. Like we don't have attack helicopters in the States. When you – see, it's a surveillance helicopter. It's not like it's a fucking it's not a Huey or one of those, you know, it's not Airwolf. You know what I mean?

Like it's a fucking it's a it's a regular fucking, you know, Ernest Borgnine behind like fucking Airwolf like flying around. It's not that at all. It's just a fucking surveillance helicopter. I understand privacy rights and I understand what people are worried about, but right now we have in major metropolitan cities basically a drone.

It's just a fucking man drone. It's a helicopter that can see things. It has a spotlight. It has the heat signature thing and it can see things. I've seen it on fucking cops in major metropolitan areas. There are like fucking 40 of them in fucking Atlanta. This is a reality of the world we live in. You can't expect that that's going to go away. So if it was unmanned and it was just some thing

flying around some major metropolitan area or some not so major metropolitan area, I still wouldn't care because there's already things flying and looking down on us. So I don't know what the big deal is. The thing that bothers me is that they're both so flippant about people's lives. Yeah, I know. It's one thing to have a surveillance aircraft, right? I mean, surveillance aircraft, like you're saying. It's like, well, we already have surveillance aircraft.

We have surveillance everything else, right? When cops drive around on the street they're doing surveillance yeah they're just they're just at the ground level so putting a cop in an airplane or in a helicopter or sitting at a control desk somewhere flying a drone basically flying around with a camera okay fine but flying around with a camera and then shooting missiles at burglars? That's a different story. Dude, it's like how much money is the missile?

I know. He stole $50. Some dude steals 50 bucks. He's got 50 bucks. He's got two 20s, a five, and five fucking singles in his pocket, right? And somebody's going to shoot him

with a robot airplane. Something's wrong here. I mean, I know that I'm oversimplifying, but something is wrong here. Fine, track the guy down. Radio in so that a cop can come and arrest the guy. Here's the other thing, though. Here's the fucker from the sky. Here's the guy down. Radio in so that a cop can come and arrest the guy. But don't just –

Here's the other thing, though. Get the fucker from the sky. Here's the other thing. Like, let's just make it the worst offense. Let's say it's murder. Sure. Chances are he's a suspect. Right.

You know what I mean? It's like he's a suspect in murder. He's a suspect in this case. You're wrong. He's innocent until proven blown up. Yeah, no kidding. It's like trial by explosive. I know.

He's a witch. How do we know he's a witch? He blew up and we shot a missile at him. Wait, what? Fuck you. That's crazy. Everyone is a witch. They're all witches. Everyone is a witch.'re all witches everyone is a witch you're surrounded by witches how would somebody say

how could you be a small government republican I know that's the thing is it's fucking Rand Paul we gotta shoot missiles at burglars maybe I'm exaggerating he didn't specifically say missiles. It could have been like a 50-cal machine.

Guys! In recognizing a communist, physical appearance counts for nothing. If he openly declares himself to be a communist, we take his word for it. declares himself to be a communist, we take his word for it. If a person consistently reads and advocates the views expressed in a communist publication, he may be a communist. If a person supports organizations which reflect communist teachings or organizations labeled communist by the Department of Justice, she may be a communist. If a person defends the activities of communist nations while consistently attacking the domestic and foreign policy of the United States,

she may be a communist. If a person does all these things over a period of time, he must be a communist. So this story is from RightWingWatch.org. Schlafly, who's got an awesome name, reinstate the House Committee on Un-American Activities. Eagle Forum founder and Joseph McCarthy admirer Phyllis Schlafly is using the Boston Marathon bombings as an excuse to push

for the reinstatement of the House Committee on Un-American Activities. And she's not even being subtle. She says in a quote, it would be useful to reinstate the House Committee on Un-American Activities. It's hard to misconstrue that. Right. It's not like somebody saying, well, well you know she's really implying yeah

but she didn't fucking imply it no she basically just came out and was like you know we should have mccarthyism because it worked during no wait no that was a horrible horrible fucking blotch on our history how are some people so poorly versed ce Cecil, in American history that they can look back and be like, man, let's get that McCarthyism back. And while we're at it, let's put the Japanese back in internment camps because, you know, fuck it. But do you know who McCarthyism worked for is the people that were doing the witch hunts, right? I mean that's who it worked for. And I think that that's what she's hearkening back to here. I mean that's what it worked for. Right, right.

And I think that that's what she's hearkening back to here. She's saying we need to take these jihadists and she says dupes of violent Muslim indoctrination or in old communist lingo fellow travelers or useful idiots. And basically she wants to have a look at them. look at them. Right. And it's like, you know, there's a reason why is because there's no danger of her or anybody that she knows is going to be called up in these sort of, you know, un-American activities probes. You know what I mean? Because one, she's in power. You know what I mean? She's the type of person who would, you know, who is, she's on top of this. So for her to call other people un-American is a great, I mean, think, imagine, Tom, if this did some fucking, by some fucking, you know, complete brain death of everyone in fucking office, this went through again. Like there was some possibility that something like this could happen again. What could this do to a political party?

Because if you're the one in power, let's say the House starts deciding who goes and you get the people who are in power in the house, you start calling up all these people and questioning. I mean, how many people in the United States could you just question and just bad things could just come out just from questioning? Oh yeah. I mean, that's exactly what happened during the McCarthy era. You know, you didn't have to even be found guilty of being associated with the Communist Party. You're guilty by association. You're you know, your name becomes slandered just by being called up in front of the committee. You know, and suddenly it's hard for you to find a job.

Suddenly it's hard for you if you're a politician to wield any significant amount of power to get reelected. Imagine how much hay a political action committee would be able to have with, you know, reelect Joe Schmoe. Joe Schmoe was called up three times for reporting in front of the House of Un-American Activity Committee. You know, what don't we know about Joe Schmoe? You know, it's like no it's you can it writes itself it's fucking so ridiculous you just need a better voice than mind a voice

over that shit it's true it's absurd you know i mean and and this is really all just saying you know if you look at who she's worried about um so we can have a look at those in our midst who may be jihadists dupes of violent violent Muslim indoctrination or fellow travelers or useful idiots. Like you said, she's basically saying like brown people and people I don't like. Sure. I mean, that's that's what that's what she's saying right there. And there's and there's a part of this, too, where she starts talking. She's like, for starters, why would our government have admitted the Sarnov?

I don't know if I'm even saying their names. I know. I don't know. Fucking whatever. There's a T and an S and a R. I don't know how to fucking say that. And an A-E-V. There's a A-E-V.

What the fuck is that? I've. I've. Whatever. Whatever. The people, their name is T-S whatever. You know who they are. You know who they are.

Whose son is named Tamaranyan? Tamarian? Tamerlan? Tamerlan? Is that an L or an I? It's an? Tamarian? Tamerlan? Tamerlan? Is that an L or an I? It's an L. Tamerlan? It says that should have been a red alert because that is the name of one of the world's most notorious mass murderers a 14th century

Central Asian warlord who killed about 17 million people like, what we stop, you know what when somebody has a name that's crazy, you're just like, oh, sorry. You know, whatever. You can't, no matter what, for the rest of history, we can't name anybody that name. Nobody's ever named Adolf again. Right.

No Josephs. Yeah, Josephs. Josephs. Exactly. You may either be related to Stalin or the amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. We're not sure which one. It's very true. If you can't produce a Technicolor Dreamcoat, though, no America for you.

Yeah. Sorry. You know, and it's funny, too, because you were talking about the court of public opinion, Tom, and it's so true. You know, look at all the people that get fucking called out. They get called out in the media. And then, you know, it's always the accusations on page one and the retractions on page five. Yeah, exactly. And this is a perfect example of something like that.

Somebody could be accused and then it's like, oh, well, we didn't find anything. Well, that's not news. So that shit doesn't get reported as well. And that shit happens all the time. What happened during the Boston bombings? And that shit happens all the time. What happened during the Boston bombings? Like the Reddit community came out and misreported a suspect in the Boston bombing.

It caused a lot of grief for that family. Like it caused a tremendous amount of grief. In fact, I think that student turned up dead the other day. He did. He left like a suicide note and then disappeared. Well, then they found his body, but they found it after the Boston bombing, so they thought he was part of it because he had the same nose. Sure, and he disappeared. So that's – So it's obviously one of the guys, and then they went fucking crazy because people fucking wildly speculate like crazy.

And it's just – there's no vetting of any information. It's just one dude said it, so therefore it's true. I mean, you just watched. I was watching. It was so funny because I was watching Reddit during that time. And there would be like images on the front page of Reddit before the FBI released any images. And those images had a bunch of people that were watching the race. And these people had bags.

And they started circling them. And look at this guy. Look at this guy. Doesn't this circling them and look at this guy, look at this guy, look, doesn't this guy look suspicious? Look at this guy, look at this guy. And you're like, don't you think the FBI has already fucking collected a bunch of shit and knows exactly who the fuck they're going to look for. And you know what turns out? Yeah, they did. And so they fucking basically read it, pegged like four or five people that weren't even remotely involved in this. In fact, one of the, you know, a couple of the people got falsely accused and harassed because of it. And you're just like, you know, we got to stop that kind of witch hunt mentality.

And that's what I think this story is exactly that. It's like this witch hunt mentality that we're just going crazy lately with this stuff. And it's, you know, you just got to fucking simmer down a little. No, and it's trying to ensconce that, right? It's trying to say like, let's open that back up. Let's make that, right? It's trying to say like let's open that back up. Let's make that a committee. Yeah, let's make that fucking policy. What I heard, and I don't know how true this is, and again, because I don't know where I'm actually reading this.

I don't know if it's a fucking credible news source because at this day and age, you don't even know if the news sources are credible because they're just ripping stuff off the front page of Reddit and running with it. News sources are credible because they're just ripping stuff off the front page of Reddit and running with it. But but I thought I read that the FBI released the photos earlier than they had wanted to release the photos because there was so much wild speculation on the fucking social media sites. That wouldn't surprise me even a little bit. Because they they could have gotten them without them knowing who they were, right? They could have gotten them because they could have figured out probably on their own who they were much faster and more efficiently. And they had to release them because people were fucking pulling their pitchforks out. Yeah, well, you know, there's a benefit to a benefit, to be sure, to crowdsourcing an investigation like that. Right. But the crowd has to behave responsibly. You can crowdsource an investigation like that if the crowd waits for the FBI we're looking for. Here's high-quality, reasonably high-resolution images of the people. Release that information.

That works. That's an efficient way to put most wanted posters out into the world. It's fast. It's efficient. It's better than hanging them up in the post office. But the crowd has to behave responsibly. And the unfortunate reality is the crowds don't have a history. They don't have a very good record of behaving responsibly. And putting

something like the House, you know, Committee on Un-American Activities and putting that into play and saying like, well, hey, let's let's try to root out jihadists in our midst. saying like, well, hey, let's try to root out jihadists in our midst. Well, that kind of operates on the assumption that there's jihadists in our midst. And certainly there are people who wish ill will toward America and society and Canada and many other nations for sure. But when the solution becomes a witch hunt, I don't know i mean you you certainly need to to pause and reconsider is this the best way to get this accomplished and i i'd be very surprised if that was in fact the best way to accomplish our goals did you hear anything in there that

convinces you um you asked uh dad what i meant bywoo. That is the very embodiment of woo-woo. So, Cecil, this story is from The Guardian. UK businessman found guilty of selling fake bomb detectors to Iraq. Jim McCormick made millions of pounds. Now, for Americans, that's a form of money. form of money, selling completely ineffectual devices based on a novelty golf ball finder. This motherfucker sold millions and millions of dollars worth of fake bomb detectors that were no better than fucking dowsing rods. They're just absolute garbage.

They're just junk. They're literally just junk. If you crack them open, there's no power source. Right. They're just powered by imagination. I mean, it's powered by nothing because it does nothing. How does this get fucking... Who vetted this what that's

millions of dollars went into this this guy had to have you know you gotta think like it's not just one guy at this point you know you're talking this guy has a sales staff this guy's got accountants he's got bookkeepers he's got i mean this is a multimillion dollar business and, and nobody pauses and says, I'd like to see one of these fucking things work. Yeah. Well, I, from what it says in here, he fucking bribed the shit out of people to make sure they made it over there. But you know, the part of me thinks, isn't there some side of kind of safeguards in your country to stop people from doing that. And how are you bright? I mean, I know that money greases a lot of wheels.

I do. But we're talking, I mean, I'm not exaggerating. We are talking life and death. This man is directly, not indirectly, responsible for the deaths of who knows how many people. Because who knows how many of these bomb detectors didn't go off when there was a bomb. And everybody, you know, they didn't have other safety procedures in place. They had this in place.

This is the procedure that they had in place. This is the device that people, you know, this would be like selling bulletproof vest full of Jell-O. I mean, this is that bad. It's that fucking bad. It's an evil act. And people's lives were lost because of this. For sure lost. Not maybe lost.

Not probably lost. But fucking for sure lost. Oh, yeah, absolutely. How fucking cynical and money hungry do you have to be to be like, I'll sell out my countrymen for some dough? This isn't him, but it's a former colleague of his says told the bbc he saw them set up accounts in false names for 15 iraqi officials he said they don't care if people live or die the only thing they care about is how much uh i am going to get back cash back and you know like like this guy he didn't he didn't give two fucks whether people died over there and you know

here's the thing about selling something like this it's not like they're not ever going to encounter bombs you know what i mean like like when we talk about their you know their fucking pet rock or the fucking rock with the tiger right like yeah chances are you're never going to encounter a tiger yeah so it's okay like you know i mean i understand you're fucking fleecing people, but this is this is they were looking for a useful device to save lives. This is not a fucking joke, man. No, it's like selling fake antibiotics. Yeah.

You know, it's like we know somebody's sick here. You know, this is Iraq. This is not a place where bombs don't go off. And to sell these things is I I mean, it's just so bad. It's just such a fucking cold-hearted, cynical, evil fucking thing to do. Could you, you think you could try him

for war crimes? I don't know. I would think, I would think you could try this guy, I mean, I'm not fucking around. I would think this guy could be tried for murder. I mean, how is he not an accessory? If those were given to anybody in the British Armed Forces, he could feasibly be charged with, well, I don't know, treason. But certainly with their live endangerment.

Man, I don't think treason is a stretch. He knows they're fake. Yeah. He knows that they're fake. stretch he knows they're fake yeah he knows that they're fake and as a result as a direct result of these things being used people fucking explode i mean fraud is what he got charged with it's not enough that's not enough it's not and and the and the potential sentence for this guy it's not enough you know i think they were talking like he'd get like nine years. Nine years. You know, like the thing is, is he has a fucking seven million pounds. Where is that?

Does that all get confiscated then? I don't know. I mean, it's it's. I mean, he's got he's got homes. He's got assets. I'm sure that if he's got any kind of brain at all, you know, he's squirreled away any number of of assets so that when he gets out, he's still a rich motherfucker. That's injustice, man. It is.

Fraud? Fraud's not enough. People died. I mean, look, when people die, it's not fucking fraud anymore. Yeah, it is fucking surpassed fraud at a fucking deep and fundamental level. So we're going to take a break and give you all the opportunities you need to contact us as may. This is for you.

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That's 740-743-6828. Long distance rates apply. And to everyone who listens, shares, retweets, or rates the show, Cognitive Dissonance would like to cordially thank you for all of your fucking support. So Cecil, this story comes from the venerable news source, yourjewishnews.com. News dot com. Angry mob undresses woman and rip her clothing and rip her not rips her clothing, but and rip.

So weird and rip her clothing after she dressed provocatively. This is a story coming out of Kenya. Basically, a woman was spotted walking down the street and an angry mob decided her dress was too short. And they did the only sensible thing. They stripped her ass naked. Well, she was offensive. She was offending them with her nudity. So they made her more nude.

They nuded her. They re-nuded her. And the joke was on them because she was still wearing nude color stockings. And they didn't know. The best part of this article is obviously the picture. You cannot wear a shorter skirt than that. That skirt is unbelievable. You cannot wear a shorter skirt than that. That is – that skirt is unbelievable. And it's so funny because this – it's got a picture of a woman in a miniskirt, and mini does not begin to describe.

It looks like a belt. It looks like a belt with little frills on it. I can cuff a pant leg, and it is more denim material than this skirt. Yeah. And it says underneath it the caption woman in miniskirt as if anybody was going to read this article and be like i don't know what a miniskirt is if only there was some sort of image some sort of picture that could convey i know i don't i've been googling miniskirt. Right. And nothing comes up. I love the idea that they stripped her naked. I mean, I think that this is you know, this is obviously, you know, this is the prudishness that comes with the that level of religiosity that the fundamentalists have, right? There's that prudishness that comes along with it. And it's visible in both, visible in a lot of different religions, specifically the two major ones we

talk about all the time are it's visible in Islam and it's visible in Christianity, especially like evangelical Christianity, that sort of thing. Obviously, there's something to be said about how awful it is to be subjected to a public derobing because I think that that is – I mean they're practically raping the girl. Oh, yeah. They're throwing her on the ground. They're derobing her. They're publicly humiliating her. I'm sure it wasn't a gentle be-robing either. Right. I'm sure she was

injured or at least pushed around enough to get it off because they tore the garments away from her body. Now, I wear garments every day. They do not tear away from my body. So you wear garments on the regular then? That's like a thing?

That's a normal thing for me. You don't want to know what I do at home. I don't. You're right. So you wear garments on the regular then? That's like a thing? That's a normal thing for me. That you do? Yeah. You don't want to know what I do at home. I don't. You're right. I fucking don't. Yeah.

And somebody came by afterwards who witnessed the incident and gave her a dress so she could go home. Because otherwise she couldn't even put her clothes back on. They were destroyed. Like, they destroyed her clothes. Because otherwise she couldn't even put her clothes back on. They were destroyed. Like they destroyed her clothes. And you have fucked up your society when you're like, oh, man, we can't have women walking around not dressed appropriately. Because if we see that, we will take all of their clothes off.

That is how we treat our women here. That's how we want. That's the way that's the way women know their place. This is a place putting is what this is. Absolutely. This is a shut your fucking mouth and know your place. And if you don't know your place, we'll put you in it. Yeah, that's what this is. Absolutely. I mean, and you could tell that they were mad that she told them no. Right. Oh, yeah. You know, they said you should you shouldn't dress like that. And she's probably like, piss off. And they fucking they beat her and they stripped her because of it.

Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. So this story comes from leadership. That's it. Just leadership. Pastor in court for allegedly stealing female church members' underwear. This story is out of Nigeria. A Nigerian pastor stole two pants, one bra, and $10,000 of Nigerian money, which is like, I don't know, 75 cents.

They never even mentioned the money. Oh, no. It's got to be a tiny sum, Cecil, because they never even mention it in the article. The whole article is all about stealing the pants, the bra, the money that's like, nah, they took $10,000. It's only $10,000. It's like a candy bar.

It's like a Nigerian candy bar. I don't know what that is exactly. It's like a sad, unhappy candy bar. It's full of oil. It's just like sad, unhappy candy bar. Oh, no, it's full of oil. It's just like oil from the Shell Corporation that's down there. It's got a blood diamond in it.

And, you know, this guy is getting a blood diamond in it. It's like nougat. It's crunchy. On the wrapper, if you want to call to complain, it's a 419 number. It's a 419 number to call. Yeah, I tried to call to complain, but then I had to send him $10,000. I had to wear a fish on my head. I didn't have any more pocket change. Yeah.

You know, I have to say that this guy's getting a lot of slack. He's getting a lot of flack around there for stealing these undergarments from this woman, but he had a good excuse. He did. He needed them so that he could pray for her. You can't properly pray for somebody unless you have their underpants. I have prayed for so many people. What I love, I got to read this because I don't even understand what it means. The two lines down from that, Tom, it says,

The accused always send her text messages threatening to eliminate her on or before August ending. Yeah, why doesn't – that's perfectly clear. perfectly clear. Yeah, I mean, why don't what is it that you're, maybe I'm I'm a little unclear on the all of it. I don't. It seems perfectly readable there. What's the August ending?

What is it? Do your books close? It's like, oh, that's the end of the fiscal year. So I gotta make sure we're gonna eliminate her before the end of the fiscal year. So I got to make sure we're going to eliminate her before the end of the fiscal year. I commit all of my murders in the second quarter. Yeah. I like to make sure that we, you know, like I just I just want to make sure that I'm going into the second half of the year clean. Right.

You know, my investors prefer it that way. It really helps the portfolio. It's such a strange, bizarre article. And it's so strangely written and obviously translated. It's so bizarre. Finding panties from somebody, you know, and then he's like, at first he's like, he doesn't admit to it. And then he's like, okay, but I just wanted to pray for her. Like they convinced him finally to admit to the panty sniffing. I got the panties. I wanted to pray for her. I just wanted to pray for her. Like they convinced him finally to admit to the panty sniffing.

I got the panties. He's like, okay. I wanted to pray for her. I just wanted to pray for her. And I wanted to inhale the scent of her genitalia while I did it. Well, you know what? They're not reporting, and this is unfair to him, is that he does minister at the Church of Animal House. So the panty raid is a sacred... It's a sacrament.

It is. It happens. They drink the wine, they eat the wafer, and then they sniff the panties. Right. They don't even have the incense thing. They just wrap a panty in a ball and they wave that around. That's what they do there.

Their baptismal fount is fucking disgusting, though. You don't even want to go. When your baptismal fount is fucking disgusting You don't even want to go When your baptismal fount has chlamydia You just want to stay away from it You're all dead Oh be nice Oh my son doesn't stand a chance

The whole world's gone gay Oh my god What's happening now We work hard. We play hard. Everybody stand down! This story comes from Gay Star News. Ex-gay leader says, sorry for harm caused. Still gay.

John Palk, the former chairman of Exodus International, has apologized for saying that religion will cure homosexuality. Turns out homosexuality isn't cured by religion. Sometimes, though, the opposite is true. This guy says that he was cured of his sexuality. No, still gay. That's so sad that it's coming out now because in 1999, the former couple wrote a book called Love One Out, how God's love to help two people leave homosexuality and find each other. I mean, we're talking, you know, he's coming out now and saying this, but this is, you know, 14 years worth of damage.

Oh, yeah. There's people who buy into this, who probably read his book and said, I can help my loved one get past this thing because all you have to do is believe in God hard enough and that hard-on goes away. Right, right. Well, and this is a guy that like it says he appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America. He was on the cover of Newsweek. This was not a quiet belief. This was not a quiet, personally held belief that it turns out I gave that a whirl. I felt conflicted about my sexuality, and I thought my faith would help me through it. It turns out it didn't.

There's no story there. There's no story. It wouldn't make the show. Who cares? It wouldn't make any newspaper, wouldn't make any news source. The point is this guy put pressure on the public by his public appearances. He came out into the world and he said, there are these urges. They're wrong. They're biblically immoral. You can change them. Here's how. There's a method.

You can be different. And for all of those people who grow up being evangelized to and indoctrinated with a bullshit worldview that teaches them that the way that they are is wrong, is immoral, is going to cast their eternal soul into hell. All of those people, not all of them, but many of those people who see a message like this, they get a false hope that their salvation and their soul can be fixed. And all they have to do is fundamentally change their sexuality, which he teaches them as possible. And not only is it a lie for him, it's a lie across the board. And how many of these people felt failed, felt like failures themselves, lost that sense of hope?

I mean, this is this is real damaging shit. And he's still gay. The more people I think that eventually get caught in this way, and you know that pastor, that guy who was getting the crystal meth and the... Oh yeah, the tranny handy? Yeah, that guy.

You know who I'm talking about. But that guy... Haggard, yeah. That's it. You know, the more these guys get caught doing this sort of thing, because this guy, it says a couple years after he released that book, he was photographed in Washington gay bars and lost his job because sexuality is important to human beings. Right. Because there's, you know, no matter how hard you try, it's hard to mask your sexuality. You know, like it'd be like if I was masquerading as a gay man and I'd always be on the lookout for women.

You know what I mean? Like I'd always be on the lookout to like try to spot a woman and try to see what she looked like. And I'd be watching as many women in movies and pornography as I could find. And the same thing is true for them. They're masquerading as heterosexuals and they look for men and a homosexual pornography and places where homosexuals congregate because there's just nothing you can do to disconnect yourself from your sexuality. And it's going to take over parts of your life. It's just going to take it over if you keep on suppressing it. And we need to get past the

point where we give a fuck about where you put your penis and where you put your vagina and where you put your mouth and where you put your ass. Who gives a shit? Parts of your body, I don't care. You shouldn't care either. We need to get past it

so people stop living these lives that are lies and that hurt other people. We, Lord, we just ask to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts. See, so this story comes from Seattle Pie, the most delicious news source in Seattle. Second child of Pennsylvania couple dies after only praying.

So the same couple loses a child. They get basically, you know, they get busted for it. They had a kid. Their kid died from bacterial pneumonia. All they did was pray over the kids. So, you know, that obviously doesn't fucking work out. And it happens for them again. Again, they've got seven more kids, Cecil. How many of them have to die? I mean, at some point, it's just going to be like, you're going to be one left. You're going to be like fucking Jet Li, the one. You're going to have all the powers of the dead kids.

You have all the other powers of all the other kids. It's just fucking ridiculous. They lost an eight-month-old son last week after he suffered from diarrhea and breathing problems for a week and stopped eating. Oh, God. For a week. Now, you know, kids get sick. You know, little kids get sick. They're fucking Petri dishes.

They walk around. They have immature immune systems and bad hygiene. You know what I mean? They get sick. systems and bad hygiene. You know what I mean? They get sick. But your kid doesn't have diarrhea and breathing problems for a week without you seeking medical

attention. And when the kid isn't eating food, and you don't seek medical attention, you just pray, and you already lost a kid from this? It's real hard to feel sympathetic. You know what I kind of feel like? Unsympathetic to the fucking people whom hopefully lost their job over not paying more attention or closer attention to these people after they've already had a child that died.

Because in my opinion, the DCFS chapter there should have done more. I think that this is absolutely abhorrent. This is so fucking below where we should be as a society. They've already lost one. There's a fucking track record here. It's not like

we're... Even if it's the first time, it's awful and horrible and whatever, but you've already lost a kid. So there's not somebody. They don't have a fucking social worker assigned to them or something. Somebody who's going to come by on regular visits and just be like, have you been taking your kids to the doctor? You know, and should we have to do that anyway? Should that be a function of something that we, you know, like, should we pay a person to do that?

Shouldn't we be considering maybe taking their children away when you have a children die from neglect? Because if the kid died in any other way, let's say the kid was neglected in some horrible other way. Like they didn't feed him. Let's say they just chose not to feed one of their children. Because when it comes right down to it, what are the basics of essential life? Food, medical attention and shelter. So let's say they took one of their kids and made him sleep outside or took one of their kids and didn't give them food.

You know, chances are all the rest of their fucking kids would have been snapped up and put into foster care. They wouldn't have been like, oh, well, you get probation instead. But instead, because we have this weird idea that just, you know, well, some people believe some crazy stuff. You know, some people believe that you should be able to abuse your children, but we don't let them do it. Right, right.

Yeah, it's no, you're you're you know, you're absolutely right. The only reason that this this had a chance to have a second go-round is because the first time it happened, even though they were censored for it, even though they were busted for it, they were busted shortchange. It's like, all right, well, we'll fucking shake our finger at them. And we'll tell them no, no, no. Everybody's sorry you lost a kid. Everybody's sorry. It's very tragic. It's a fucking real tragedy.

You're so fucking stupid. You didn't take your fucking kid to Everybody's sorry. It's a fucking real tragedy. You're so fucking stupid. You didn't take your fucking kid to the fucking doctor. Here's 10 years fucking probation. It's funny that you say that too because you read this article, and I actually read a couple of articles about this, and you read this article and everybody is saying like, oh, it's a real

tragedy for the parents. It's a real tragedy for the parents. It's not a tragedy for the fucking parents. They got exactly what they wanted. What they wanted was to trust in their savior. What they wanted was to trust that their God would make a fucking decision

if one of their kids got sick. That's what you're saying. When you're praying to your God, you're saying, God, what I'm really saying here is you know best. So if the kid lives or the kid dies, that's your call. You're saying, God, what I'm really saying here is you know best. Yeah. So if the kid lives or the kid dies, that's your call. You're the God.

I'm just the guy who's not a God. And if the kid dies, that means God wanted your fucking kid back. He fucking released him into the earth too soon or whatever. That means I don't know what that fucking nonsense is. But, you know, but that's you can't even question that shit if you have that worldview. You have to be like, well, that's a good. That's what God did. I prayed for it.

That's the answer. Fucking wanted the kid back. He got the fucking kid back. So where's the tragedy for the parents? There's no tragedy. It doesn't exist. What if these people were Satanists, Tom? Yeah, I know. What if instead of Christians, they were Satanists or they were Wiccans or something, right?

Chances are all those fucking kids after the first kid would have been fucking swept up. Immediately. Because your fucking deity happens to be something that a few more people believe in. Now we got to be like oh well we got to respect their wishes we got to respect their wishes you know i i i stand by it i think you know that this it was a mistake to give him the kids back a poor a poor kid how old was he eight months eight months old eight months old you know at that point he's just a shitting machine he's just a fucking screaming shitting machine. And, you know, when the kid just keeps crying and isn't eating, could you imagine?

I mean, I don't have a kid, right? I've never had a kid. But I have strong connection to the pets I've had in my life. And let me tell you, when my cat doesn't eat for a couple days and I know it, that cat goes to the vet immediately. I don't want anything bad to happen to it. Are you that fucking devoid of all sense that you don't just be like, hey, man, I'm going to be praying, but you know what? God, you ain't coming through.

So it's time to fucking take the act. Take the bull by the horns, get some fucking action going, and get something going. Get a fucking IV in this kid, whatever, until you make your divine decision, we're going to do what we can down here. But instead, it's just this fucking namby-pamby, throw your fucking arms to the sky,

hope for the best, and your kid's dead. And you would think, what else does your God have to do to show you he doesn't give a shit about you? He already killed you, one kid of yours. Yeah. Right, you were already like, all right, I prayed,

and I really wanted that first kid to get better. But he died i got another kid who's sick you know what god kind of fucked me over on the last one you know it's like imagine anybody else in your life that did that right if you were like hey um if somebody came to you and was like hey can i borrow some money and you're like yeah all right i'll loan you some money and And then you loan them the money and then they don't pay you back. And then a few years later, they're like, hey, can I borrow some money? And you're like, you didn't fucking loan me back the first. Like, I'm not retarded. What are you talking about?

No. You already killed one of your kids. It's like giving your kid to a murderer to babysit. Right? And then you come home and you're like, how's the baby? I fucking killed him. I'm a murderer. I really wish you wouldn't have done that.

All right. Now I'm going to give you one more chance. I have seven of them. God is not little bunny foo-foo, right? You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth you want answers i want the truth you can't handle the truth so see so this story is from nbcnews.com animal chiropractors adjust elephants guinea pigs even snakes and what i like about the snakes one is their whole body is vertebra.

Yeah. They're just, their whole body is vertebra. That's how they move. What are you adjusting on a snake? What are you adjusting on a guinea pig? A guinea pig is a food animal. It's nature's burrito. How the fuck do you even know the guinea pig's in paint?

Right. Like, I got to take my guinea pig. I actually have a guinea pig. 15 feet from where I'm sitting right now. I bought my kid a guinea pig. He doesn't care about it at all. I want to eat it. My wife won't let me.

I really do. Your dog wants to eat it, too. The dog wants to eat it so bad. It just sits in a cage and poos like that's all that it does why would you take it you would take it to the chiropractor be like is it sitting in the cage yep yep is it pooping sure is does it sometimes eat the poo? Uh-huh. Oh, God. Sounds like a guinea pig to me. Wait a minute. It eats its own poo and you want to eat the fucking thing, Tom?

All rodents do. It's not a fucking human centipede, the fucking guinea pig. It's a guinea pig centipede. I don't understand what's happening. I want to eat its delicious muscle meat. That's all I'm saying. Well, its muscle meat is made of poo then. We have gotten emails, I think, or comments in the past about chiropractors.

And somebody had said, I thought somebody had said, I thought they were overseas maybe, and they were like, why are you guys bagging on chiropractors? And I don't know how they are in other parts of the world. But I'm going to read you, and this is exactly what a chiropractor thinks over here. A chiropractor promotes the flow of energy within the body. Anywhere there's an obstruction or a blockage of energy due to subluxation, I don't know if I'm saying that right, or dysfunctional group of muscles, what the chiropractor does is normalize that function. So the chiropractor is lying to you is what the chiropractor does is normalize that function. So the chiropractor is lying to you is what the chiropractor is doing. Because none of that shit is real. None of it is real.

That's not a real thing, what they said. Now, chiropractors may be able to do something with the back. I don't know. I've read conflicting studies on that very thing, that some people think that they can do okay with the back. Some people don't think they can do okay with the back because they're not really doing anything. I tend to think that chiropractors don't do anything. It's like cracking your knuckles to get rid of a migraine.

It doesn't make any sense. There's no science to back it up. make any sense. There's no science to back it up. Most of the stuff that they do over here when they talk about oh well, the chiropractor fucking can get rid of all of these they have a fucking list of things that they can get rid of. Oh yeah, they always do.

And you're like, no, you can't get rid of any of those things. What you do is you offer a placebo because you cracked my back. That's what you did. Or you made me sit in a fucking chamber or you fucking rubbed my feet or whatever the fuck they did. they didn't do anything. They just made you think it's better. Okay. It's the same thing as taking the dumb supplements. It's the same thing as getting fucking, uh, you know, getting Reiki, getting, uh, the healing hands therapy, whatever

that's, whatever it's all encompassed in the same thing. It's all bullshit. But the idea – this is as useless as a fucking animal psychologist because – or an animal psychic. Both of those things. I'm just like, you know what? It's an animal, OK? It doesn't need any of that stuff. The idea that these guys are like fixing these animals and like making them all better where regular medicine has failed makes me so dubious of everything that they've done. I'm just like I don't believe anything in this article. Well, why would you?

What possible point in this – in this article, the guy talks about people saying he says, I know people who have adjusted pigs, goats, and rodeo balls. Later on, he says in Southern California, Dr. Rod Block has tended to an elephant, a paralyzed iguana. A paralyzed iguana, Cecil. A turkey. A turkey. These are foods. Those are food animals.

Are you kidding me? We've got turkey. He has basically tended to an entire Thanksgiving dinner. That is what he has tended to. You may as well adjust a fucking sweet potato. It's a ridiculous thing to do. Later in the article, which is far too long to merit the subject. Later in the article, he says some crazy shit like, yeah, you know, there was this dog and the dog was having seizures.

And I went to pet the dog and the dog was having seizures and i went to pet the dog the dog had a seizure and then they gave it an adjustment and then it lived for another six years and so then it says that immediately made a convert why does something that takes six years immediately do anything how does that work like oh well on the spot you changed my mind by on the spot i mean gradually over the course of more than half a decade yeah that's not the same fucking thing at all the article is internally inconsistent but beyond that it's just a silly fucking thing to do if even if this were to work you know if you are a veterinarian it doesn't mean that you're a goddamned expert in every fucking animal other

than people that's not how veterinarians work you know veterinarians are experts at you know there's there's small animal there's large animal there's equine there's you know zoological veterinarians and the zoological veterinarians then have to sometimes specialize in certain kinds of animals yeah you can't sell me this fucking bullshit idea that even if the principles behind chiropractic were true which i has seen no reason to think that they were yeah no yeah wouldn't you have to be a fucking expert in that animal how was adjusting an elephant going to be anything like adjusting a snake how the fuck do you adjust an elephant i don't know what would you adjust it with a bulldo? I went to a chiropractor when I was a dumb person who got talked into going to a chiropractor a long time ago.

And I fucked my back up and they said, you should go see the chiropractor. This fucking guy fucking broke, he fucking cracked my back for fucking 10 minutes and I fucking hurt worse than when I went in there. And it fucking went away after four or five days, which is what it was going to do anyway. And I paid the guy. I was a college student. I had to pay the guy fucking $380 to fucking make me hurt more than I already did for 10 minutes. And then it fucking still didn't do anything. But, you know, that dude had to fucking lean on me to fucking crack my – how the fuck are you cracking an elephant's back?

What are you using, a fucking skid steer? I know. You'd have to hit him with a fucking abrams tank yeah you know and if and if the same held true wouldn't every time you touched one of these small animals wouldn't you be cracking their back yeah like think think about it proportionally like you pick up a fucking hamster hamsters mentioned in this fucking article a hamster weighs like six ounces like it's a it's a fucking marvel when I don't crush it in my hand like jelly. It's unbelievable the idea that you would just be like, and what about a snake? That's the part that's unbelievable to me.

It's like a snake? It's not even a mammal, for God's sake. It's not even a fucking mammal. We're just going to fix it with chiropractic. How is the snake sick? I got a snake. He's not feeling good. How do you know?

I don't know. It's just a snake. Well, you know, if he's not eating, you take him to the vet. What do you take him to the fucking chiropractor so he could swing him over his head and crack his back? That's a lasso. Like, really? Like, that's what you chose to do?

I think, you know, like, I think that's neglect of an animal when you take it to someplace like this. Like, that's just ridiculous. And all of this shit is just like first person accounts of some shit that might have happened. Yeah, right. And you're just like, great. You know, I've heard a lot of first person accounts of a lot of shit. And let me tell you, none of that shit holds water to me. You know, I've heard a shit ton of fucking conspiracy theories and other garbage that

people would swear is true. There's a bunch of people who think they've seen UFOs, man. Ghosts and all that. I ain't never met no fucking UFO. I ain't never met no ghost. You know, when it happens to me, maybe I'll change my mind if it happens or whatever. But the fact is, is this is just anonymous fucking hearsay.

That's all it is. Well, you know, you gotta definitely adjust the rodeo bull. Because it's an animal, you know, you got to definitely adjust the rodeo bowl. Because it's an animal, you tie a rope around its dick and then ride around in a fucking arena. So you want to make sure his back feels okay. Yeah, no, you got to make sure the back is fine. The balls and the cock. Right. Nobody cares.

Yeah, we're just going to, don't worry, we'll get you some chiropractic care. But first I have to cinch this rope over your testicles. And then hop on your ass and ride around going woo-hoo, woo-hoo for eight seconds. I want to ask somebody. I don't know if anybody's read it, but there's a fucking book called Chicken Soup for the Chiropractor's Soul. What does it tell you? How to fucking milk more boat payments out of your customers? Those people are fucking crooks.

That's all I'm saying. They're fucking crooks. You were talking before. They all say, oh, we can fix allergies and we can fix asthma and we can fix migraines and we can fix fucking ingrown toenails and we can can fix fucking dandruff. And we can fix autism. We can fix, you know, there's no list. Like, there's nothing they can't fix. Why do we even have, if it worked, why do we even have any other medicines?

There's no reason to. You should just go, like, every time you should just go to the chiropractor. And they fucking, they adjust fucking babies and kids. And, like, they fucking put little kids on that fucking table. And the elderly. And fucking crack their neck. And, like, they fucking put little kids on that fucking table. And the elderly. And fucking crack their neck. Yeah. Everybody.

Crack a kid's neck that age? Man, I'd be, that's some crazy shit. And they do infants? Like, infants. Infants, yeah. Tiny little, like, day old. Tiny little. You know, and the other thing is, man, if it was that, wouldn't everybody walking in and out of the chiropractor's office, you know, if you took a poll, like, because those people want you to go once a week.

You know, they always tell it to sell it to you like maintenance care. You got to maintain it. Really? Evolution did a pretty fucking bad job of building this animal then. Yeah. Because we kind of got all the way here without the invention of chiropractic, and we were doing fine. And now all of a sudden, once a week, I have to come to you and have you fucking massage my giblets? This is crazy.

No kidding, right? First, we want to thank some people who gave us some cash. We want to thank Richard, Eric, Paul, and Michael for their generous donations. Thank everybody who gives us generous donations. Tom and I talked about it today. We decided that we're going to cap the fund at a certain point. So we, at this point, have collected quite a good sum, and we're going to keep it up for a certain point. So, uh, so we at this point have collected quite a good sum and we're going to keep it up for a couple of weeks, but chances are, we're probably going to reach that

cap pretty soon. And we're going to take the donate buttons down, uh, because, uh, because we think that we've, we've collected, we're, we're close to collecting as much money as we'll need to go to Tam. And we, we certainly don't feel like you, the listeners owe us for the show. So we appreciate everything that you're doing for us. Thank you. Yeah, but after the TAM money is sort of collected, we're probably going to take – we're going to definitely take the TAM button down once we think we've gotten to that point. And we might keep the maintenance fund up, but we'll probably cap it at a small amount. We got a bunch of voicemail and a bunch of contest entries.

So I'm going to try to talk about each one. And I'm also going to play, I'm actually going to play a voicemail that I played last week. I'm going to play it again because we failed to answer the question. So here's all of the voicemails and things that we got. Call this long way from home. Long way. Call this Long Way From Home. Long way from home. Long way from home. Long way from home.

Long way from home. Yeah, this is Wally Weeksauce. You guys don't know much about the country where that kid got his head cut off. The correct pronunciation, gentlemen quote unquote is Oh yeah. Hey guys, glory hole.

Well I have a message service set up to ask people what they think and then only restrict them to one word guys. Glory hole anyway, and here we go. I know you've already done the competition, or think you have, but here we go. Hellooo Napa! Hellooo Napa! Hello Napa! Hello, Webber. Hello, Webber.

Hey, guys. This is Robbie Cohen. I may be too late for my rendition, but I thought I'd give it a go anyway. Here we go. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Hey, this is Carlos. I hope I'm not late for the Muslim call to prayer submission. By the grace of faith, God, I hope that you guys have had a delay in recording. Yeah, so here's my submission glory hole. Awesome. Here we go.

Along, black cock. Along, black cock, long black cock, a long black cock, long black cock. Hail and well met again, Cecil and Thomas. It is Sir Andrew. How are you guys doing? Your favorite local druid. This is my entry, and it's for all the geeks out there, and all the sci-fi guys,

which I suppose, story-wise, just as true and just as real as everybody else's lovely monotheic sense and religion, but let's give it a shot here. Admonat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat,

Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat,

Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat,

Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat,

Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat,

Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat,

Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat,

Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Ad morat, Have a good night, guys. A call to cognitive dissonance. Glory hole. Glory hole. Glory hole. CHOIR SINGS Amen.

Hi, guys. My name's Tamika. I've called this show once before about the stupid church signs, but I forgot to say my name, so I'm saying it now. I just had a quick question for you guys. You guys have such a great job interviewing people, and you have such a great dynamic, and the conversations are always interesting. I especially love when you guys talk to that guy from Mercantile Skeptics.

Would you guys ever interview someone like Richard Dawkins or Daniel Dennett or Sam Harris at all? Would you guys reach out to them if they'd be interested in doing the show? If so, it would be really great to hear one of those episodes. Okay. Thank you, guys. Love the show. Bye. So first we have Pekka, who left a call to prayer.

Then we also had another call to prayer left by Rob and one by Carlos. There was another entry in there. And then Sir Andrew, the druid, left us a voicemail and he left us his quite dorky and also quite – I thought quite awesome call to prayer. I wish he would have worked in It's a Trap in there. He did do Death Star at the end, but I was hoping he would have done like, It's a Trap! I was hoping for that. But it was still very good, Sir Andrew. Thanks for calling. There was a British guy who left an entry, Tom, and there was like 10 straight seconds that I don't understand what the hell's going on.

I think it's partly because the phone line is not good. I'm not saying – Yeah, that's a big part of it. But that's a big part. But it sounds like all the words kind of go in one order. But I did – I love how his ended. I laughed out loud at how his ended. Brady called and left one as well.

And then we got one from Robbie who left one. And I thought Robbie's was very good. I did too. Yeah, Robbie's was funny. I liked how he kept the beat throughout the entire thing. And then Wally called up and had a little short correction, which we thought was quite hilarious. So thank you, everyone, for calling in. We got a bunch more we couldn't play because they're going to take up the whole show if we just keep playing them.

Which would be an improvement over the rest of the show. Yeah, probably be an improvement. It would just be like our voicemail would be way better. But thank everyone for calling and for leaving short clips and things to us. We appreciate it. But like we said, we can't play them all. Now, I did play one from last week, and that was Tamika's or Shamika's. I'm not sure which one.

I can't tell because of the way the voice bounces over. But she said last week, and we forgot to address this, Tom. She said, do you guys have any interest in contacting, say, Richard Dawkins or Daniel Dennett or Sam Harris? And she said, have you reached out to them? And I wanted to tell people that we have reached out to one of them. We reached out to Sam Harris and we've reached out to him twice. I contacted his PR person twice in a row and I've never – we haven't gotten a single bit of response back.

And I suspect that's probably because it's a PR person and they think who gives a shit about a podcast. gives a shit about a podcast. But my suggestion is if you guys are interested in hearing Sam Harris on our show, maybe tweet at him and let him know that you would like to hear him on his show, on this show, or maybe go to his Facebook page and say, Hey, the guys from cognitive dissonance contacted your PR person. Did you decide to come on the show? Because when the thing blew up with him, Sam Harris, recently, Sam Harris had this, um, that thing that blew up with him, Sam Harris recently, Sam Harris had this, um, that thing that blew up with him and Glenn Greenwald. I actually sent that night. I sent his PR person for this. This is the second time I tried to contact them. I sent them a message and said, Hey, we'd love to have Sam come on and tell his part of his side of the story. Would he be interested? And I know he's

doing a book and I know he's very busy. Um, but I haven't heard anything back. So if you guys want to help out and you think that maybe you could get us Sam Harris somehow by texting him or tweeting him or whatever those kids are doing, those crazy kids are doing these days, I say give it a try. Give it a shot. We'd love to interview Sam Harris. He's one of the people that we really enjoy reading his work, and I think we might have a really good conversation with him. I don't know how funny it would be, but I think it would be a pretty cool conversation. I think we'd just be in awe and just let him talk the whole time. Yeah, if we're going to get a big fish, we need bigger bait. Some of you guys may be able to offer some of that bait.

We are not that bait. No, we are pathetic. We are the bait. We're just a dangling hook. Nobody cares. Really, nobody cares. Yeah. Really nobody cares. And we – to be honest –

We know that. Richard Dawkins – I would talk to Richard Dawkins too and I think he would be fun to talk to. I don't really know a lot about Daniel Dennett to be honest. He's a guy who does debates, right, Tom? Yeah. I've heard his debates any number of times and he would be an interesting guy to have on. You know, the thing about having a Dennett or a Dawkins on is I think that they're used to a certain format. I've heard Sam Harris like on Rogan's show.

Yeah. And he seems like somebody you can have a real kind of comfortable, relaxed sort of conversation about. comfortable, relaxed sort of conversation about. And also his interests are such that I think they would dovetail with some of the things that we've talked about on this show as far as not just talking about, you know, whether or not religions are true or untrue or the various merits of scientific principles, but kind of some more philosophical and social concepts, which I think you and I could just have a good time talking with him about. Yeah, and he's also a gun owner and a gun rights activist, which would be interesting. I think our views may clash a little there, but he's also anti-Islamic like us, which would be great. He's an Islamophobe.

Yeah, he's an Islamophobe. Right. But to answer your question, yes, we've tried and yes, we've failed. Right. But to answer your question, yes, we've tried and yes, we've failed. So if there's any way you can help out, great. If not, just understand that we have tried. It's just not – we just don't have a big enough name to get those people on our show.

That's all. Right, not even close. We got an email from Dean and Dean says, I recently discovered your podcast and enjoy it. I'm not sure you've explained, Tam, and why you want to go. However, being a new lister, I would like to know more about it. Tam is the amazing meeting dean. It's held, I think, every year in July. It's in Las Vegas this year. I know that they've moved it around.

I think they've moved it around in the past. But it's in Las Vegas this year. And it's a three-day skeptical conference. And the person who it's based after is the amazing Randy. And he was a skeptic for many years. And sort of he's the guy who has the Randy's challenge, which is the million dollar challenge to anyone who can prove paranormal, something paranormal exists, they can get a million dollars if they follow a scientific rigorous test. And no one yet has collected the

million dollars. And I think there's been several people who have tried to do it and they've failed. So that's what the amazing meeting is. And it happens every year in July. Uh, you can, if you search for Tam 2013 in Google, you will find stuff about it. So you'll be able to find the page and find out who's speaking and what they're talking about and things like that. Uh, dumb ass sent a. Dumbass sent a message and I posted a hashtag blame Tom the other day. And it's funny because it looks like hashtag blame Tom is kind of a thing. And there's a bunch of different people who were tweeting well before I put blame Tom for our late show last time. There was a lot of people who were talking about blame Tom. And I clicked on the hashtag and I saw it.

One thing I regret, though, is that I also accidentally clicked on hashtag glory hole. Oh, no. And, you know, I just I just wasn't thinking. I was just like, you know, let me you know, I'm just curious. Are people really talking about and I clicked and there are an enormous amount of people talking and tweeting pictures of glory holes. That's all I'm saying. Oh, no. And some of those glory holes are not for me.

It turns out not for me. So the first one was just a dude with a dick in his mouth. Very first one. It was like, oh, there you go. That's startling. And I'm glad I opened that at work. Okay, let's move on. Send unemployment checks, too.

But dumbass, that's funny because I noticed that, too. I wound up clicking on that hashtag. We got a very funny email from Lars who left a improved audio is gargling a call to prayer, which we will almost certainly use in the future. But Tom, some of this letter is very, very funny. Yeah, particularly his post scripts. P.S.

Eggnog is a fine beverage. One only needs suppress the inevitable thoughts of other fluids of a similar viscosity and color to thoroughly enjoy its sweet, beguiling flavor, while I, myself, prefer to gargle my eggnog. I don't think you have a choice. I think everybody has to gargle it. That's because as you desperately are struggling to swallow, your body is attempting to reject. You're trying to breathe after you drank it, and that just sounds like a gargle.

I understand that some tastes run along different tracks. You might not drank it. And that just sounds like a gargle. I understand that some tastes run along different tracks. You might not enjoy it. I suppose I should not judge your characters too harshly for your lapse of taste. Perhaps you have not tried gargling, a delicate art of which I am, I like to think, a talented amateur. Your eggnog. And this is why you have had the misfortune to not know the joys of this nog, which is so eggnog. know the joys of this nog which is so I wouldn't gargle I don't I wouldn't gargle eggnog for 5,000 bucks I wouldn't

do it I wouldn't do it dude I'd fuck I'd get a fucking facial and you kidding me no fucking loaded in a fake cock and shoot it on my face. Nope. No, man. That's awful shit. I'll tell you what. It'd be in my beard and shit and I wouldn't give a fuck.

I'd be counting my fatty banks, man. So Cork sent an email and Cork says that years ago he used to teach next door to a history teacher that had a three week unit on the Kennedy assassination. He had a self printed pamphlet, drew Daily Plaza on the background on the blackboard with little dotted lines showing bullet trajectories to the minute timelines, grassy knoll guy and the mystery man behind the fence. Russians, Cubans, and the mafia. At the public inner city high school, last I heard the guy still teaching, I taught my kids to walk by his classroom. Shout out. One shooter, one shooter. I love that. Tom, you thought another part of his email was pretty funny.

Yeah, he says, I mentioned your show in my history class a few months ago. And I read that and i thought really you mentioned our show in a history class i hope this is a uh like english is a second language or something like english is a second language be awesome english is like a fucking fourth language english is a second language be awesome could you imagine them walking up, they buy something, and afterwards they're like glory hole. And then they walk away. It's like I'm picturing like one of those like citizens classes where it's like a whole like menagerie of people from across the world. And they're all like, repeat after me, glory hole.

You know what I mean? Like nine different international accents. and they're all like, repeat after me, glory hole. You know what you hear? Like nine different international accents. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, this is a little surprising that we mentioned. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Maybe he's got tenure, Tom. Maybe it doesn't matter at this point. That is the only way.

That's the only way you can get away with mentioning. That's the only way you're telling people in your class to listen to our show. Right, right. Hopefully it's kindergartners. I. Hopefully it's kindergartners. I just hope it's kindergartners. Oh, God. Could you imagine? I wouldn't let my kid listen to this show.

Are you kidding me? I think this show, I think, you know, at 12 and 13, I was probably using this language, but I probably shouldn't have been. So I think maybe, you know, you're looking at 15 years old. I'm thinking, okay, you're old enough. Yeah, fine. No problem. You know? Yeah. You're thinking, okay, you're old enough. Yeah, fine. No problem. You know, you're going to find it on your own anyhow.

Yeah. You know, you're going to, I mean, come on. It's 2013. Look, at 15, you are searching the internet for glory holes. I mean, let's be honest. You're hashtag surfing. You are hashtag surfing. So that wraps it up for another awesome, the second 97th episode we've done this year.

Details. So be sure to tune in next week for episode 97, and we leave you as always with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo quasi alternative

acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing, water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox reflex, foot massage, death

and towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, Crystal balls. Bigfoot. Yeti. Aliens. Churches. Mosques and synagogues. Temples.

Dragons. Giant worms. Atlantis. Dolphins. Truthers. Birthers. Witches. Wizards.

Vaccine nuts. Shaman healers. Evangelists. Conspiracy. Double speak stigmata. Nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands.

Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The statements made on this program do not express the views or opinions of anybody, not even the host. Any resemblance to coherent thoughts or ideas is purely accidental. Cecil and Tom are committed to minimizing all such misunderstandings. Outro Music