Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 98: Kiddie Diddling Campfire

Episode Date: May 6, 2013

Today's show is brought to you by Audible. Please visit audiblepodcast.com forward slash dissonance pod for your free audio book download. Personally, I don't believe that you can live an openly homosexual lifestyle or an openly premarital sex between heterosexuals. If you're openly living that type of lifestyle, then the Bible says you know know, then by their fruits, it says that, you know, that's a sin. And if you're openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, adultery, fornication, premarital sex between heterosexuals, whatever it may be. I believe that's walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. So I would not characterize that person as a Christian because I don't think the Bible would characterize another Christian. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended.

The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is, I think, but I cannot be sure.

If you count on all your fingers and toes, you might be able to figure it out. Listen, the notes say this is episode 98 of Cognitive Dissonance. And they might have been wrong in the past, right? I'm just going to go with that. I'm not going back and rechecking my math. This was written in Roman numerals. So I'm not sure. XIVVLL.

And we are approaching our 100th episode fucking obviously. And just to let you guys know, we're working on something that we think is going to be pretty cool. We're not going to announce anything yet until we get everything lined up. But we're hoping that our 100th episode is going to be really kind of different and pretty cool. So as opposed to this episode. I'm going to let the cat out of the bag a little and say Pat Robertson may be a guest. That's all I'm saying. He very well might be. We're trying to figure out if he can work Skype or if the devil is in the microphone.

Plus, he has to, we have to line up Pat Robertson and that fucking crazy bobble-headed broad to sit across from him and nod the whole time. Right, well, yeah. And then later on in the show, we'll have Brian Fisher from the American Family Association. And we'll have Brian Fisher from the American Family Association. And we'll finish it off with Kirk Cameron. Call it a day. Kirk Cameron. And we'll have Ray Comfort, who will go down on a banana live on the air.

Kirk Cameron's going to give his rebuttal to our review of the movie. Monumental. Monumental, yeah. He's got a new movie he's working on right now. Does he really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's shitting out another piece of crap on. Does he really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's shitting out another piece of crap. I don't know what it's called.

You know, that Comfort guy did a movie that I really should see. And I know that Jake from the Imaginary Friends show had seen it and I had talked to him about it. But Ray Comfort made a video about abortion and about I think it's about abstinence or something. And if you look at the guy, I mean, he's kind of the poster boy for abstinence. That guy is the poster boy for abstinence because nobody wants to have sex with him. Right, yeah, because you're never going to touch a girl. Right. Are you kidding me?

With the porn stash. Now, if it was the 70s, maybe. Oh, yeah. But that porn stash, no more. You know, in the 70s, he would be in that, he'd be like in the super low-rent porno that still tries to set up a story. So he'd be like, you know what I mean? He'd be like, hey, girls, the rent is late.

Oh, no. No, instead he would just be like, Kirk, let me show you this banana. Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts. Well, that's enough laughing because the first story is fucking awful. This story comes from NBC World News. Baby girl sacrificed on bonfire after sect leader says taught is the Antichrist.

Now, this happened in Chileile and the photo of this dude he totally looks trustworthy this is a photo this is a man who doesn't look at all fucking unbelievably crazy beardy mcbearderson captain of the beard people yeah i you know what i was seeing when i saw this the first thing I thought was like whenever you see somebody with this length of beard, that sort of measures the crazy in them. It's like a measure, a direct proportion to their

level of crazy. To get a beard to even get to this point, you have to get through the sort of goofy stage because a beard for like a couple days, for like a couple days, you have a, you know, you have a nice trim beard and you trim it down. You're like, okay, it's nice to trim.

And then like four or five days later, you're like, there's like four or five hairs that are sticking out. You're like, and when you turn your head just right and you look behind you, like I could, it's kind of a little crazy. It's a little crazy, but I'll go another day or so. Two days go by. You don't bother looking in the mirror. Later on, you're like, it looks like you have a rake hanging from your face.

You're just like, what the fuck happened to my beard? Now it's no longer shaped. It's just kind of misshapen. It's fucking shoving out from the side of your head. Like you have to, in order to fucking get to a beard like this, you've got oh yeah past the goofy rake stage and i like you seriously i think there has to be something clinically wrong with you to get past that stage of bearding what to to beard at this level

because this is a professional quality beard it is to beard at this level it there's only a handful of nut jobs that can do this right and they're all what is it about like being a hyper religious wackadoo that means you can't fucking get a razor you clearly can start fires because you can chuck a baby yeah oh yeah for example you know but but like example. But if you're an Amish, you're just like, yeah, I'm Amish. Oh, okay, cool. So you guys believe in knives, right? Because a fucking razor's a knife. Cut your neck beard, you weirdo.

Giant fucking face beard. All those religious cult people always do something nuts with their facial hair. I think even the Mbop cult like they just went the other way around. Oh, yeah. They shaped our faces. Yeah. They were all like shorn. There's like an obsession with how you're-

Isn't that guy bald too? I think so. Yeah. I think he was like, he's fucking naring his whole fucking nugget. Fucking Raelians or whatever they were calling themselves. Fucking wearing their Nikes and their jumpsuits. Those people were awesome. You know, there's a part of this article.

I mean, it's hard to listen to here. So I, you know, I understand if you've got to pause the podcast to throw up here. But it says the baby was naked and they strapped tape around her mouth to keep her from screaming. Then they placed her on a board and then they threw her in the bonfire. And I think, you know, first off, you're mixing all your cooking methods wrong. I think I think the difficult first is you don't tape it. You put an apple in the baby's mouth. I think that's the way you go.

And the baby goes on a spit, not on a board. The board is for pizza. And so unless there was dough under the baby, I don't think I could forgive that. I think I think you're doing this completely wrong. You know, this is like human veal. It's a waste of good baby to just cook it like that. Oh, I know. The collagen alone.

It's like baby stock. No, you know, I think cooking it fast would be fine. I just think that the cedarwood plank smoking is not going to work so well. Maybe a little lemon butter, you could get it back. You know the worst part about this article, though, is the fucking sentence above where it's like, the baby's mother had allegedly

approved the sacrifice and was among those arrested. What the fuck is happening? How were you fucking first wooed by beardy mcbearderson to kill your kid and you know the the part of this that that is so unnerving to me other than the fact they threw a baby in a fire because that's fucking unnerving because that's fucking nightmare fuel the part of this that's unnerving is they say in this, you can't just dismiss this as, oh, there's a bunch of crazies. Everyone in this sector is a professional.

We have someone who was a veterinarian who worked as a flight attendant. We have a filmmaker, a draftsman. Everyone had a university degree. What the fuck happened here? This is Chile. This isn't some backwoods of the world like this is a reasonably well-developed this is santiago chile this is a reasonably well-developed part of the world these people are professionals they all have they all went to fucking university and at some point

something had to click in their mind where they're like fuck it stop shaving throw babies in the fire yeah here comes the Antichrist. And they had to get her permission to throw the baby. How does that conversation go? Natalie, I'm going to need you to sit down for a minute. We're going to have to have a talk. I know you've been a part of this sect for a long time. We appreciate your contributions.

This sect would not have risen to this level of bearding had you not been around to groom us, to pick the nits from our facial hair, to gently stroke your fingers through the raggedy pubic-like curves of our... So, and we couldn't help but notice that you've recently had a baby who kind of looks like the Antichrist. I'm sure you've seen the resemblance. We'd just like to throw it in a fire. I'm just, you know, it's your call. We can't do this without your permission. This may make you upset, but you can pet my chin bush, and that will make you feel better.

You know, what do you say to her? Be like, Natalie, we need to talk about Kevin. Wakefield is not just any researcher. His 1998 study on autism and childhood vaccines literally changed the way many parents think about vaccines. The study was based on just 12 children. That's right, 12 children. But many parents desperate for answers around the world embraced Wakefield's claim that he'd found a link between autism and the vaccine for measles, mumps and rubella. Celebrity Jenny McCarthy, for instance, a vocal autism activist whose son was diagnosed with the disorder, has helped spread the message using Wakefield's research as ammunition.

So in more babies that are dead news. Oh no. It's the worst show ever. Wftv.com 9. Baby dies from whooping cough in Orange County, Florida. Health officials said a baby died from whooping cough last week. The baby died from whooping cough. Here's the shocker.

The baby wasn't vaccinated. Oh, man. Wow wow who would have who would have put that together cecil it's almost like and then correct me if i'm wrong here a fucking preventable disease killed a baby because they didn't prevent the disease that killed the baby do i have any part of that wrong? I think you kind of nailed it there. I think that's sort of exactly what happened. You know, really?

Fucking whooping cough? Are we seriously fucking letting children die to fucking pertussis at this day and age? This doesn't make any sense at all. You almost feel like, too. I don't care that, you know, somebody who doesn't vaccinate their baby, you know, loses that. I don't feel for that person, the person who lost the baby. I don't feel for them at all.

I feel for the baby, you know, only in this thing. I mean, like, you are a complete idiot who believed some stupid shit and didn't take the correct precautions with your kid. It's like having your kid in the front seat eating an ice cream cone when it's a fucking newborn and you're driving down the road, doesn't even have like a seatbelt on. I know. You know, like, man, that's it's your fault. The kid died. I think somebody who who does this to their child should be equally equally guilty in the court of law when it comes to neglect. It's some dumb fuck who leaves their kid on top of their car and drives away. I mean, like, like, really, you are not fit to be a fucking parent.

If you are using, you know, your crazy fucking like, oh, there's a I don't want to give them autism. Yeah, but you'll fucking have them die coughing rather than the possibility of autism, which is fucking stupid and not real. Yeah. Well, you know, it's worse than the parent who, you know, the parent who like puts the baby carriage thing on top of the car and drives away. They didn't make a conscious choice to do something dangerous, right? It's true. It's true. They were fucking forgetful.

They were neglectful. Maybe they were sleep deprived. Who knows? But this is actually kind of worse. And to make matters even worse, so the baby gets whooping cough. And how many other people were exposed to pertussis as a result? How many other babies, right? Right. You know, did the kid go to preschool? Did the kid go to, oh, this is a baby. Did the kid go to a daycare center? You know, maybe there were kids

in that daycare center who were unable to be vaccinated because of a health concern, like a legitimate actual health concern, not just Jenny McCarthy says you'll get autism. Right. Yeah. Like an actual, you know, immune health concern. And maybe, you know, you take your kid and your kid's like, oh, I got fucking pertussis. Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough. Oh, shit.

I was relying on the motherfucking herd immunity. Yeah. To help us through this thing. Oh, fuck you. You know, and this is not something that adults can't get. Adults can get pertussis. It's not impossible. If you're immune compromised, it's something that could be a concern.

So it's not just your fucking kid. You don't get to say like, well, you know, Cecil, your analogy of putting the kid in the front seat. It's like putting your kid in the front seat and then driving around blindfolded with your knees. You're like, I don't care who else I hurt. Fuck it. Maybe it turns out. Maybe it doesn't. Who's the people that are telling you not to get vaccinations?

You know, you know, obviously there's a bunch of them. There's a bunch of different types of people out there. There's a lot of people who sell supplements and shit like that who will tell you not to get vaccinations. But like Jenny McCarthy, she's trying to sell books and stupid shit like that who will tell you not to get vaccinations. But like Jenny McCarthy, she's trying to sell books and stupid shit like that. You know, and what kind of convincing argument does Jenny McCarthy have? Be like, you know, once I saw her tits. So, yeah, I'm going to go with Jenny McCarthy on this one. That was persuasive.

Yeah, she had a real nice set of jugs. So I'm going to go with her on this instead of all the medical consensus. So I'm going to go with her on this instead of all the medical consensus. Well, when you say it like that, it sounds like taking the word of a celebrity for your medical care of your child is a bad idea. It's not like that's the only problem. Like the cases of whooping cough. This article from Slate.com, measles epidemic in Wales has roots in anti-vax movement. slate.com measles epidemic in wales has roots in anti-vax movement um the measles outbreak in wales has at least 800 people with measles this is a disease that like the first world shouldn't have to worry about anymore like we just shouldn't have to worry about measles anymore it's it's

we have an opportunity with vaccines to get rid of entire diseases just to eradicate them off the planet like treat them like they're a fucking white rhino and kill every fucking one of them or an antichrist baby or an antichrist baby yeah bet you can't burn just one. Oh, no. Oh, gosh. Well, they plump when you cook them, so it gets a little. Oh, yes, they do. That's just the worst thing. That's really quite terrible. I'm taking a break from the podcast.

I don't believe you. So we're all of our listener right now. Like our one listener is like, this shit's gone off the rails. You know, a lot of this comes back to that Wakefield fucker. Yeah. You know, Andrew Wakefield published a shitbag study in 1998 in The Lancet linking the MMR vaccine with autism. And it's been it's not just been a discredited study. It's not like they came back and said, oh, yeah, you know, further research has shown this study is not good. It's directly fraudulent. It is a fraudulent study. It is a study paid for and done by a shill. And it's still, it's continuing to have repercussions. And in this story from Slate,

a 25 year old man was found dead in his apartment. He was known to have measles at the time of his death. It's not clear the measles were yet the cause of death. So it hasn't been determined. But still 800 motherfucking people walking around with the measles in Wales. Yeah. How many people are in Wales? Like 806? There's only one person in a whale. That's Jonah. I feel, too, like there's so much wrong with this, but Wakefield's study had a very few amount of people in it.

And you say, you know, how does this thing still have traction? I think the worst part is that there's this whole movement of, you know, the things they don't want you to know sort of thing, right? They don't want you to know. And when people come out and denounce Wakefield and say he had a fraudulent study, immediately the other side turns their head off and they say, oh, well, yeah, that's just what the big pharma wants you to think. Or, oh, yeah, that's what the doctors want you to think. Or, oh yeah, that's what the Association of Medical Professionals wants you to think.

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by Audible. Audible is the Internet's leading provider of spoken word entertainment with over 100,000 titles. You can get a free audio book. It is free. It costs no money. Free audio book by going to audiblepodcast.com forward slash dissonance pod. Or you can link to it from our webpage. You go to dissonancepod.com. There's a big giant ad there that you can click on. Click on it. You can get a free audio book. I recently finished an awesome book. I enjoyed click on. Click on it. You can get a free audiobook. I recently finished

an awesome book I enjoyed very much. It's Gulp by Mary Roach. Everything that Mary Roach has written, I have both read and listened to. She's written Bonk, Spook, Stiff, and Gulp, which are awesome fucking names for books.

Those are great. It's like Automata Pia. I know. It's pretty awesome. And she's got this real knack. If you like popular science writing, she has a real knack for exploring parts of the scientific world and parts of the scientific community that are much lesser explored. She does it in a very humorous way. You still get a tremendous amount of information. It's not a scholarly book.

It's popular science. Gulp is a voyage down the elementary canal. It's the story of why we burp and fart and digest and chew. And it sounds horrifyingly disgusting. And at times it is, but it is a lot of fun. And it's a great listen. And the narrator does a really wonderful job of capturing the humor that's part of Mary Roach's writing. So I can't recommend it enough. If Gulp isn't your thing, listeners of this podcast would also like Spook, I think. Spook is sort of her quest, her scientific quest to find out, is there really any proof of an afterlife. It's a really fun book to listen to, and I think it's a really honest approach. I think she takes a really honest approach to the questions,

gives you a tremendous amount of background. They're great audio books, and if you can get one for free right now by going to audiblepodcast.com forward slash dissonance pod. Well, I thought that the point of the church was to worship God and the boy fucking was just incidental. No, it's just the other way around. The point of the church is the boy fucking. All the other stuff is just busy work.

This story is from Religion News Service. New Jersey Catholics outraged over accused priests' access to children. Newark Archbishop John J. Myers is facing criticism for his handling of a priest who attended youth retreats and heard confessions from minors in defiance of a court-ordered lifetime ban on ministry to children. Cecil, what the fuck? Can they find it like if you're not gonna put the fucking kiddie fucker in jail that's like a gift right that's a gift to your organization it's like yeah we're not gonna we're not gonna put them in jail just don't let them be around kids uh what about youth camp no yeah no that's actually that's actually the worst thing did you fucking listen

to what I said I said kids god damn it and it's like it says here that this guy was convicted in 2003 of criminal sexual assault for allegedly fondling a 14 year old boy's genitals on two occasions so he fucking grabbed some kids balls

and didn't make him cough on two occasions. Three years later, the court vacated the verdict, ruling that the trial judge should not have allowed jurors to hear part of this guy's confession in which he described himself as a homosexual or bisexual. The rest of the confession was not called into question. Rather than retry him, prosecutors allowed him to enter a rehabilitation program for first-time offenders. Well, in my opinion, if he did it twice, he's not a first-time offender. First-time offender, right?

On the second condition that he would undergo counseling for sex offenders and sign an agreement barring him from any work, any work with children when children are evolved. The archdiocese, Vicar, Vicar, whatever they fucking goddamn magic man, whatever his name is, signed the agreement as well. So some dude in a big hat obviously signed it and everybody's just like, yep, we're totally going to fucking follow the rulings of the court. He went through his mandatory shit.

And now we're just going to keep him. You know, we're going to lock him up in his little fucking seminary room and have him read the Bible and fucking jerk off to its pages and just stay in his little room. No. You know what? Let's fucking send him to youth camp. Are you serious? You're sending the youth camp. What the fuck are you doing?

You're putting the goddamn fucks in a hen house. You would think he would turn to his superiors and be like, wait a minute, guys, guys, you know I'm going to touch him, right? I just want you to know. I know that this is my job. my job is to go to youth camp i'm kind of a pedophile yeah it's like what's signing something what does signing something mean like okay all right shame shame shame sign this paper oh man i see i wouldn't have touched him in the first place had i signed a fucking don't touch

kids paper right i mean it's it is it's fucking pointless the boss of this guy he's like yeah he's under fire he's under fierce criticism he should be he should be put in jail like you if you if you allow this to happen your organization this is just negligent get your fucking house in order what possible excuse what what conceivable narrative could you come up with what story around the fucking kitty diddling campfire could you tell where this makes sense in what world what possible pedophile paradise of 42 virginal children do you live in where this could possibly be acceptable? How does this even happen? There's a great quote in here.

It says, a guy says, Father of two at St. Mary's. It's complete craziness that the church can let this happen. I'm a softball coach, and I need a background check to get on the field yeah yes of course you do that's behaving responsibly but evidently if you've got a fucking white collar and a black shirt it doesn't matter how much fucking siemens on your face you've passed every background check it's ridiculous what are you gonna cry now? Come on, cry, baby. Cry for me. Come on.

Cry. This story is from, I don't know, STV Glasgow. Whatever that is. It's not America. I don't know it. Hey, no American. No Americans in Glasgow. A Glasgow.

I ain't heard no Glasgow. That's in Russia, right? That was Ruski's in Glasgow. Oh, man. That's terrible. Nuns accused of assaulting girls at school used punishment room. You know, this whole story revolves around a school run by a bunch of nuns who sounds like they abused the shit out of these kids. They just abused the shit out of these girls.

One of the nuns said, she told us we were rejects. Our moms and dads did not want us. That she had not become a nun to look after people like us. She told us that constantly. And I read this and I just can't help but come back to what Sean Faircloth said about regulation of these organizations and institutions. Yeah, it's a big deal. And it looks like it's a problem over here in Glasgow where they have these – I mean like look, you can't walk in over here.

There's plenty of places all over the states that the daycares are run by a religious institution. They're just not up to spec with all the rest of the daycares. They just don't have to have all the same regulations. And they're basically allowing churches to get a free reign and they get a chance to bypass a ton of stuff. There's no oversight. There's no, there's nobody going in and inspecting these kids. And the same thing obviously is here because if there's nobody going in and paying attention, then basically you get to make all the rules and none of the things that you do that they none of the mandates they have in government affect you at all. And here's the problem.

We try to make sure things are safe for these children unilaterally. Well, when you can just ignore all these rules because you happen to be a religious institution or it's so closed off from everything else, so closed off from that supervision and that oversight, then you just wind up with this sort of thing happening. People abuse their power and they wind up abusing these kids. I totally agree with Faircloth when he says that we need to make sure that religious institutions have the same sort of oversight as secular institutions. Well, not having that is like putting up a bat signal for sadists. Absolutely. Like, come here.

Nobody will watch you. You know, it's a way, I mean, it really is. Like, this is a way to attract sadists to a certain job. You know, if you were the type of person that was looking to damage and abuse and run rampant over a vulnerable population. What better place than a religious institution with no governmental oversight that's in charge of children or the elderly or another vulnerable group of people? It's like hanging a sign out the door. It's just like, come here,

screw with the kids. No one will know. No one will care. No one will care. These are kids society already doesn't care. People will know, but no one will care. That's unfortunately very true. So we're going to take a quick break and give you some information on how to contact us. We are posting to Google plus, so I can't make that joke anymore. And we're also interacting on different places. So go ahead and listen to this portion if you're interested in contacting us. If you're not, you're going to want to skip ahead. I think it's 45 seconds.

Want to contact Cognitive Dissonance? Visit them on Facebook. You can find the link at the website Dissonancepod.com or type it in the Facebook search bar. Be sure to follow the guys on Twitter. Their handle is at dissonance underscore pod. The guys also post to Google Plus now, too, so check them out there. And if you'd like to email them, you can do so at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. You can also leave a comment on the blog at their webpage or give them a call

at 7 4 0 7 4 doubt that 7 4 0 7 4 3 6 8 2 8 long distance rates apply. And to everyone who listens, shares retweets or rates the show cognitive dissonance would like to cordially thank you for all of your fucking support. This story is from CNET.com, but the Australian version, so you'll never find it. Dungeons and Dragons destroyed people's lives, so says that unbelievably relevant narrator, Pat Robertson. Does anybody play Dungeons and Dragons anymore play dungeons and dragons anymore it still exists

it still exists yes like we're still worried about that we're still no no worried about dungeons and dragons and like should we no call uh uh that dude from twisted sister back in front of congress again to talk about rock and roll and snort some cocaine at the local discotheque. I mean, what the fuck? Discotheque. Pat Robertson. Nobody cares about Dungeons and Dragons anymore. It's not ruining lives.

It's dice and stories. Yeah. I don't understand this at all. He's talking about video games in this thing, and he's like, I don't know what games you're talking about, but Dungeons & Dragons literally ruin people's lives. And then he's talking about how if it's got magic in it, you just don't want to play it. And I'm thinking, well, what if it's like an NBA throwback game and it's Magic Johnson? Like, are you not allowed to play Magic Johnson? I mean, fucking Magic Johnson? Come on. Everybody loves Magic Johnson. No, you're not allowed to play Magic Johnson. I mean, fucking Magic Johnson?

Come on. Everybody loves Magic Johnson. Double trouble. It's a magic penis. I know. I was going to say, if he doesn't have a problem with the magic, he's definitely got a problem with the Johnson. What else? He's like, oh, well, you can't play Scrabble because you could spell the word magic.

No, Scrabble's out because it's divination. You're picking letters. It's like chicken guts. You're like reaching in that bag and whatever the devil tells you to spell, that's what you're going to spell. What if you spell the word spoon or something? Then you're like, fuck,

the devil says spoon. All right. Lay down. We're going to get this thing going. I got it. Pat Robertson, you're so crazy. He's so out of it that when they're talking about video games he's like you know what else is a problem this thing that was popular 30 years ago let me bust out my bell bottoms and tell you about it what the fuck and it literally ruined people's lives name one life that Dungeons & Dragons ruined. You know what? I'll go further. Name one life that Dungeons & Dragons even figuratively ruined.

Figuratively ruined my life. Yeah, I mean, you could argue that, like, World of Warcraft has ruined more lives. It's certainly ruined more relationships than Dungeons & Dragons. Well, I would say that religion has maybe ruined a few lives. Maybe even Christianity. Maybe even the Bible directly. Probably the 700 fucking club has ruined some lives. Look, he says basically what he's saying is anything that has magic in it needs to be

avoided, right? That's what he's saying. This is a man who is preaching a book full of magic. I was going to say, get rid of the Bible then. Everything in the Bible is magic. That's how all things happen in the Bible. All the miracles are magic. Yeah.

Because otherwise they couldn't have happened or would not be miraculous. Right? Right. It wouldn't be a miracle if it was like, and lo, the rock did roll down the hill because gravity and all. And lo, Jesus stayed in his tomb. Right. And lo, Jesus tried to walk on the water, but he sank fast and swam a little bit. Kind of dog paddling for a few minutes before gasping to the shore.

And Jesus ate a fish in front of a bunch of people. And he never fed a fucking one of them. And verily were they angry. And their tummies did rumbleth. Rumbleth. How are you supposed to avoid magic

and still be a Christian? I have no idea. Pat Robertson. It's magic that Pat Robertson is still alive. I think he's actually preaching atheism. This is subtle atheism. Yeah. Right?

Like, avoid magic. Okay. Done it. Done, Pat. I got that one covered, dude. Dusting off my hands as we speak, Pat. You want answers? I think I, Pat. You want answers? I think I'm entitled to them.

You want answers! I want the truth! You can't handle the truth! And Cecil, this final story from Right Wing Watch. I fucking love you, Right Wing Watch. I do so much. Right Wing Watch talk show host Kevin McCullough has a column in the American Family Associated One News Now Today titled Barack Hussein Gosnell. His argument in this fucking rambling set of non sequiturs is that basically Planned Parenthood, by giving women options, makes them all as promiscuous as

possible. Cecil, most of the women I know are not as promiscuous as possible. Let me tell you, possible. Possible is an interesting word. When paired with promiscuous, it's a very interesting word. Even the presence of Planned Parenthood couldn't help me through high school. No kidding, right? So clearly, you know, they weren't as promiscuous as possible.

Yeah. They weren't fucking throwing the poona around like a frisbee, let me tell you. Like, mm-mm, we still have standards even though we fucking live at Planned Parenthood. I am literally taking Plan B right now and will not fuck you. No, but, like, this guy is— I roofied myself, but I'm turning taking plan B right now and will not fuck you. No, but like this guy is – I roofied myself and I'm turning you down. There's this guy is just insane. But one of the things he says is they give women choices, which they interpret to mean encourage them to be promiscuous as possible.

Planned parenthood may be many things, but helpful to women is not one of them. So says every woman I've ever spoken to on the matter. And that's like a dude who works at like a strip club being like, man, every woman I know wears thong panties and nipple tassels. Every single woman I know. I mean, every woman I know wears thong panties and nipple tassels. I know. Every single woman I know. I mean, every woman in the world then, therefore, by extension, wears thong panties and nipple tassels. But it's a standard evening wear. That's actually red carpet garb.

When he walks into, like, the club later, he's just like a regular club. He's just like, man, everybody here is so overdressed. God, a fucking bunch of conservative prudes. What the fuck? Look at you. Oh, I've covered my whole twat. That's terrible. That's terrible.

He goes on, Cecil. He goes on to say, what is also stunning is the abject racial self-loathing it must require for President Obama and Kermit Gosnell to directly and unequivocally contribute to an organization and medical practices that were set up by design to extinguish the people with their same color of skin. This is that old canard that they haul out, you know, basically saying that abortion is racist. Right. Which is wrong on virtually every level. It is racist. Right. Which is wrong on virtually every level it is wrong. It's like, yeah, okay. You're wrong

every way you can be wrong. Every way. In all the ways. And to push this back on Obama and be like, it must be racial self-loathing? What the fuck do you know about being a black man, dude?

Like, for him to... All the white women he's asked about this tell him that being a black man is not difficult. You know, I don't know why that didn't occur to me. Probably because that's crazy. It's because all these

old, uptight white women that he talks to are his sample set for everything. Well, yeah. I guess like three women that he talks to because none of the other women will talk to him. Right, yeah. There's like three women. It's like his mom, his grandma, and his wife. His whole life is a Wakefield study. It's like a small sample set.

I know ten people, and they don't like Planned Parenthood. Let me tell you something. There are like four, maybe five on a good day women that will still converse with me. And all of them agree with me mostly because they're related in some

way. Mostly that is the only reason. So therefore, this crazy madness. What do you think about this? They always bring up this Margaret Sanger thing too. They consistently bring up this, she was for eugenics. And you're just like, look, there was somebody in the movement back when it first started that had some different ideas than other people. Why does that invalidate the entirety of Planned Parenthood?

No, it doesn't. That stuff is so – what they try to do is they try to tie an organization or an idea to a personality. Because then if they can attack a personality, then the ideas must lose merit. Right. All this is is an extension of ad hominem. Yeah. It's such poor logic and such poor reasoning that it doesn't even merit reasonable consideration. You hear it and you're just like, I don't need to address that.

Yeah. That's fucking nuts. They do it all the time, though. And that's the thing is they try to weaken the argument through weakening the person. Well, they do that with Darwin all the time, don't they? I mean, you hear that all the time. Like, well, you know, Darwin fucking, I don't know don't know eight bugs or you know like they'll just come up with some crazy shit and they'll be like all right well none of that has anything to do with evolution so

try try again stupid so we got some voicemail we got a voicemail from d got a voicemail from DC and Detroit. We got one from Terry who left two, and I'm going to play them. And then we also got a voicemail from the person who left the most famous song we play on our show. Hello, gentlemen. DC and Detroit here. And I want to say that I would be very happy to donate to get you guys to CAM, if

and only if you include the information for Brian from Finland's fundraiser. I'm hiring somebody to follow you guys around with a couple of glasses of eggnog. Dude, I am a reformed member of the church of England who lives in North Carolina.

I just want to say, motherfucking glory hole, guys. Love ya. Keep it up. Bye. Ah, shit, man. I think I forgot to leave my name. This is Terry from motherfucking North Carolina. Anyway, reformed Anglican, true believer.

Appreciate your show. Spread it with all my friends. Take it easy. Peace. Hello, Cecil and Tom. Many moons ago when my journey into the Christ hole was still in its initial stages, I called you up and I sang you a song about a certain glory hole.

You may remember it. And recently, I've been thinking about the meaning of Easter and what it means to me. And the Holy Ghost came down and it touched me somewhere very soft and it moved me. So, I'd like to share the hymn that I created with you. Ah, alright. Jesus didn't come to town to save your soul.

He came to get gang banged in those extra holes. In the ankle and the wrist. In the ankle and the side. Jesus, your sweet stigmata kept us up all night. We want to fuck you in your extra holes. Christ, fuck you in your extra holes all night. And when the morning comes, you'll turn Centaurum into wine. And we'll all get drunk. Thank you. So DC in Detroit, Tom, said that she's willing to donate to Tam, but only to Brian from Finland's fund to find somebody to follow us around to sell eggnog or to give us eggnog or to shake eggnog at us or whatever they're planning on doing.

Brian from Finland, I don't think, has set up his Kickstarter yet. But when he does, we'll contact you and let you know. You know, Cecil, if at some point somebody's fucking following me around chucking eggnog at me, I'm going to be madder than hell. Yeah. I'm just throwing that out there. If they have eggnog, great. If they put it in my face, we have a problem.

If they open it up in the same room I'm in, I may go fucking batshit Pat Robertson crazy. Eggnog, ruin lives. So Terry left two voicemails. He's a reformed member of the Church of England from North Carolina. We played them both because the first one he forgot to mention his name and then called back and mentioned his name. The last voicemail we played, first off, I got to say, I think the person who left this voicemail does not realize

how much they have shaped our show. First they leave a voicemail that just says, who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? And we start playing it in our podcast. Then people start commenting on it. Dumbass was one of the people who made a joke about it. And so there was a bunch of people who commented on who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole.

And then finally somebody hears it enough and is like, you know, guys, you just say glory hole as like a way to say, hey, love your show. So suddenly this guy who left one voicemail a long time ago has shaped the entire portion of our show. Well, and now with the new song. Yeah. I fear for the future of this program. I heard this and I thought the same thing. I thought, my God, the impact this man has had on our show.

And now he's, I mean, he's gone with the nuclear option. He has. He has. And, you know, if you thought that the call to prayer was blasphem God. This song face fucks the call to prayer. All day, twice on Sunday. It choke fucks the thing. You know, we were just

talking. See, so we were just talking about how the call to prayer thing was the most offensive thing we've ever done on this show. Right. In the same week we get this song. It's the best song ever though when i don't misunderstand we think it is delightful we love it but it is texted cecil to tell him to listen to the voicemail like minutes after it's fucking awesome and we will use it but we're just saying

it's it's it's delightfully blasphemous and we love terrible we want to thank everybody who rates us on itunes we just switched over to the comedy section on iTunes. We had for a long time been Religion Other, and we had been at the top-ish of that board, so we decided to switch our podcast over to the comedy section. And we want to thank everybody who gives us ratings because now more than ever the ratings really matter for us. When you rate us a high rating, it starts shooting us up in the numbers and we get a

lot more visibility, especially in the comedy section. So we want to thank everybody who's taken the time out to rate us on iTunes. We know that some people hate iTunes, but the people who brave it to give us a rating, hats off to you. Thanks so much. Glory hole to all of you folks. That's all I'm saying. Glory hole. Fucked in all the holes. Yeah. Fucked Glory hole to all of you folks. That's all I'm saying. Glory hole into...

Fucked in all the holes. Fucked in all the holes. So we got an email from Paul. Paul says, hey guys, your hatred of eggnog is justified. It's a well-known fact, all caps, by the way, that eggnog is a byproduct of the liposuction

industry. I immediately thought a fight club yeah me like that bag of just fucking well um in fact you'll find most liposuction clinics have a small locked room often in the basement this is the bottling and labeling room paul i believe this i do too absolutely this is true. The way it coats your throat, I can't believe it's anything else. It's got to be true. Thank you for the email, Paul. That's fucking horrifying and I died inside. We got an email from Joseph and Joseph says that he's from Arkansas and he was talking about a couple of other things.

But one of the things he said was, he says, I just wanted to say when I first heard the call to prayer, I thought it was saying Allah likes butts. I couldn't help but think like Allah likes butts and I cannot. You other mullah cannot deny. We got another person from the U.S. Armed Forces who's listening, Christopher. He's a soldier stationed in the Army, and he's done a couple tours, and he talks about that in his email. And one of the things he said is he discovered our podcast on iTunes, and he enjoys it, and he said glory hole. We just want to say thanks to Christopher for listening, and good luck. And, you know, Christopher also,

I want to point out, had a merchandise idea for us, but he missed the R. So his email was a mech idea. When I saw he had a mech idea, it was from the army. I'm like, what's going to be in this email.

It's going to be great. It was still great. It is a great idea. And we may take you up on that. We're not going to tell people what it is yet. We're going to see if we can get somebody to print it up, but that's a really great idea. Thank you very much for your mech idea.

We got an email from Julia. And Julia is the mother of Alexandria who listens to the show. And Alexandria's 17th birthday is coming up on May 13th. And we wanted to say happy birthday to Alexandria. on may 13th and we wanted to say happy birthday to alexandria uh we think it's great that julia and uh and alexandria have mother daughter bonding time over burning babies we think that's wonderful worst bonding ever we got an email from jenny tom and jenny we we talk all the time and you know a lot of the people who do the it gets better thing talk all the time about just getting the fuck out of places that are not going to be conducive to you being happy, especially the south, because the south is a wretched place. And she said she said she did.

And Jenny went up to Boston and lives 40 miles outside of Boston and loves it. And she's happy with everything that happened there. So, Jenny, we're happy that you're happy where you're at. She says that the lack of Confederate flags alone was worth the 1,000-mile move. I don't know how I would even react if I saw a Confederate flag in person. You can see them in Illinois on occasion. Yeah, if you go far south enough. Illinois becomes pretty.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, there's some banjo music down there. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. There's somebody blowing on a jug right now somewhere in Illinois. Someone's got a pretty mouth, I'll tell you that. Oh, yeah.

We got an email from Susan, and Susan wants to talk about her new project. She wants us to plug it. So we're going to do it. We'll put a link to her Twitter account on this episode. So if you go to DissonancePod.com, this episode, episode 98, there will be a link to her Twitter account. We're also going to tell you what it is. It's Skeptic Action. That's one word, Twitter.com, Skeptic Action.

She's trying to get together an action every day for people to do. So she's tweeting every day, and there's sort of a thing that you can do and help out with. You can find out more if you go visit the Twitter site. There's a link on the top, and you follow, and it will explain what's going on there. But, Susan, good luck to you and your project. I think it's a cool idea. Thank you for sending it. Tom, we got an email from Ryan, and I'm just going to have you read

Ryan's email. Hey guys, I'm writing to you today to talk about a subject you covered on episode 97 about social media and the Boston bombings. I too followed Reddit very closely the days after the bombing and during the search for the suspects. I am writing to share concerns on your own reporting. Reddit became a front for a lot of the wrongs social media committed during that time, but it wasn't the originator. 4chan was the real issue. They were the ones that posted the circled photos and spewed hatred and witch hunting for the people circled. If you were to look just slightly deeper into any of the related posts, you would see the majority of people were being responsible and calling people out for the witch hunting they were doing. In particular, the missing college student, as soon as the accusation was posted, another post that originated from 4chan, a lot of people

tried to stop the claims by relating the college student to others that had been wrongly accused and whose lives had been ruined by social media. This issue is more or less the titles of the posts of how they were taken out of context. All it would have taken is a small effort to look beyond the title on the front page and read the post within to see social media, and in particular Reddit, is more responsible than you're giving them credit for. I do really like the show and find you guys really funny, but sometimes you guys make it hard to listen when you reach a little too far to attempt a joke. I guess the first thing I want to say is that maybe 4chan was the originator. maybe, you know, that 4chan was the originator. And I think that you're probably right, because I remember seeing at the beginning there was 4chan was the originator of a lot of these things.

They came from 4chan. But I don't think that that matters, mainly because I think that a lot of people saw it on Reddit. So it was upvoted to the top of the front page. There was a subreddit called, like, Catch the Boston Bombers or something like that. There was like a subreddit called like catch the Boston bombers or something like that. There was like a subreddit devoted to this entire thing. And they, they consistently did nothing. They, I mean, they, they actually hampered the investigation. So, uh, so I don't, I don't think we're coming down too hard on Reddit. I just don't think we're coming down on 4chan at all. Cause we

don't, I mean, the thing the thing is like 4chan created it. That's great, and I think that that's fine that 4chan created it and you're recognizing that. But it's popular on Reddit. There's millions of people that go to Reddit every day. And if it's the top, top post. And the top-rated comments were all things about that Sunil guy. They were all those things. about that Sunil guy. They were all those things. Yeah. And Reddit is the, you know,

that's like saying like a story originated on the AP and NBC picked it up and reported it. Well, NBC shares some of that responsibility. Like you picked it up, you report it. It exists on your page. That's where it's popularized. That's where a lot of the discussion is happening. That's where people are going to find this bad information. So, yeah, I mean, the story came from the AP. NBC picks it up. Is NBC faultless? No, NBC is not faultless in that regard. I mean, it's problematic. Crowdsourcing, and I think I said this last time, I am for the crowdsourcing of investigations. I'm for crowdsourcing for a lot of things, but the crowd must behave responsibly in order for it to work.

There's a lot of people just basically circling brown people with bags. And I mean, come on, that's ridiculous. That's a ridiculous attitude to take. And they literally did nothing. Like they literally did nothing. And that's where it went. At the end of your email you say i do really like the show and find you guys funny but sometimes you make it a little hard to listen to when you reach

a little far to attempt to joke if our show is ever hard to listen to i have a solution don't fucking listen yeah turn it off just turn it off i mean i don't want anybody that thinks our show is hard to listen to to listen to our show if you are a person and shit everybody's shut it off now but like seriously if you don't if you find our show hard to listen to man i. If you are a person, and shit, everybody's shut it off now. But like seriously, if you find our show hard to listen to, man, I can't stress enough that I would just stop listening. I don't listen to anything myself that's hard to listen to. We got an email from Siobhan, and she thought I was going to butcher her name. Ha, ha, ha.

I did not butcher your name, Sibohan. I would have done terrible things to that name. She said that she was listening to our segment about Rand Paul and couldn't help but disagree that it is okay that surveillance is happening already to the degree that it is in America. And our blanket acceptance of it seems a bit dangerous. I keep thinking to myself that it's easy for you to say that you guys won't be won't be profiled and targeted too much. But people of color, particularly Arabic people, this would be like a creepy robot version of stop and frisk, which which has been proven not to work. Activists would would also be at risk with this as well. Think environmental activists who get locked up on terrorism charges for act of vandalism when no one was hurt.

When we were talking about this last week, we were talking about, you know, the drones that fly overhead. So what we're talking about is like if there's a drone flying overhead looking at a public space or, you know, for that matter, I think the idea that something's over your head and like looking into your house is a breach. I absolutely think something looking into your house is a breach because when you are in a private space, you have no – you should be able to expect that you have your privacy. But I think the moment you are outside of your house, you have no expectations of privacy whatsoever. You have – I mean you should be able to be filmed, photographed, whatever somebody is going to do to see you.

That's fine. I mean I don't think that there's anything that you can do in a public space. And in fact, those things that we're talking about, like a lot of times the anti-privacy stuff really does save us. Think about there's a big case in Illinois recently where they just allowed people to now film when they're talking to a police officer. For the longest time, that was illegal in Illinois. And now it's a big deal.

I think that that is not an invasion of privacy at all. I think that's wonderful. I think that that is not an invasion of privacy at all. I think that's wonderful. I think we should be able to do that. And I think that when you're in a public space, you should be able to record whoever you want. I agree about the racial profiling thing, but I think that, you know, I mean, I think, I think law enforcement is going to kind of do a lot of things that law enforcement's going to do. The only protections we have are the ways in which we can get this out to the media. And that's being able to record things on our own. I think it's creepy as fuck. The idea that

everywhere I go, I'm being filmed. Um, but I think it's also accurate. Like it's, it's accurate. It might be kind of creepy. It might be like, Oh, you know, I walked over to Starbucks and somebody knows, but nobody cares. Like, that's the thing that that's, that's the way I'm able to sleep. Nobody gives a shit what I do. And I understand the concern, you know, the concern is that, you know, the people might be profiled, this information might be used, but you can't expect. And I think Cecil, you know, one of the things you were saying is if it's reasonable for me to expect as a citizen that I can photograph the police, for example, then it's reasonable for the police to photograph me. And you can't have it

just one direction, right? That's never going to fly. So if I want the ability to photograph and videotape the police as they go about their daily business which i do i want that if i want the ability to install a dash cam in my car to make sure that i'm not fucked with when i get pulled over which i do i want that so if i want those things as a citizen it's reasonable for me to expect those things are happening to me as a citizen by the forces that be. We got an email from Saudi Arabia, we think. That's what they say. And I'm just going to read. It says, hello there.

Might be the only Saudi listener for your glorious podcast. I'm not kidding. I was born and raised in Saudi Arabia and left Islam in 2007 and became an atheist. I bet that's – it says long story. I bet that's a long story. Yeah, no kidding. I can't remember when or how I found your podcast, but I really did. Your glorious podcast is a weekly need for me now.

Anyhow, keep the good work. He says that he last – we don't know if it's a he. We have no idea if it's a he. I just assumed a gender. I just assumed a gender. I just assumed a gender. He or she said, how I laughed my ass off when I heard the call to prayer. The glorious of all glory holes. I can't tell you my name.

I don't want to be killed, but you can call me Allah. So I think that's why I presumed that Allah was a dude. But I don't know that Allah is a dude. Allah could be a girl. Thank you, Allah, for listening. I'm glad somebody who is an ex-Muslim listened to that and thought it was funny. I am still waiting for my car to explode when I turn it on. It's very likely going to happen. I'm sorry, Cecil. I didn't mean to rig that, Bob.

We got an email from Jim who's talking about chiropractors and both he and his husband have lower back problems and they go to a chiropractor and it helps them out. And, Jim, I think we talked about this last time, but, you know, there's some people who think it works for the back. There's studies that go one way. There's studies that go the other way. I think that that, you know, it's up to you if you want to, you know, you follow those studies and you think it works for you. Great. I'm happy that people can find relief from their pain at the chiropractor.

It's when the chiropractor starts saying that they can treat autism, they can treat migraines, they can treat, you know, all these things that don't have anything to do with the back. Like, oh, I, you know, I, I, I pulled my calf muscle. Oh, well, all I got to do is crack your back. You're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on a second. There's a lot of things that they add in to get you to come back. If you have lower back pain and you have back pain in general, regular physicians will refer you sometimes to a chiropractor. So I, I totally understand the back thing. I just don't think all the rest of the shit means anything. Well, right. Because the, the fundamental theory behind it is not sound, Right. Like if they're doing it right, I think they stumbled upon it by accident.

I want to redirect people to our website again for something else. Not only should you go there to check out the Twitter address we mentioned earlier, but also you should go there to check out this video that we're going to post. The person, Ryan, who mentioned Reddit earlier, Ryan, you should specifically watch this video. It's a video from a news program in England. Steve sent it to us, and it is hilarious. It's the coverage of the Boston bombing. Basically, this guy's talking about the Boston bombing,

and this is the same guy who we took a clip from a while back. He talked about a shooter in Germany and how the media just goes crazy over the shooters and how you mention their name and you ruin everything and that sort of thing. Well, he did basically a coverage, the same sort of coverage on the Boston bombing. And it's hilarious. And he specifically mentions Reddit in this. And it is very, very funny. So people should go check it out. Steve, thanks for sending it in. It's going to be on our website under this episode, episode 98.

Is that which episode? 98? 98, Tom. That's the one we're doing. I can tell because it's at the top of the notes where I put it earlier. I see that right up there. The numbers next to the words? Right up there, yeah.

Yeah. Huh. So that ends this episode 98. We'll probably come back next week and do another episode 98 to try to push off that 100 of just a little more. If we don't have our shit together, we can have episode 99 as many times as we want. If we can't get into the nursing home to talk to Pat, we're going to be fucked.

That's all I'm saying. We're like that lady who doesn't want to turn 40, so she's 38 like nine times. She's 38 forever. Lady, your skin is sagging. You're old. Come on. So that wraps it up for this episode of Cognitive Dissonance. Be sure to tune in next week for episode 99. Maybe.

And we will leave you, as always, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward

spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death and towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense.

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