Cold Case Files - I SURVIVED: I Had To Do Things That Would Make Somebody's Skin Crawl
Episode Date: November 8, 2025Tanya is 14 years old when she is seduced and brainwashed by a 38 year old security guard at her school. Andy is hiking when he is attacked by a mountain lion with only a pocket knife to defe...nd himself. Denise is returning home from work when she is attacked by a man who has been stalking her from the train.This Episode is sponsored by BetterHelpBetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp.com/SURVIVED to get 10% off your first month!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hi, I Survived listeners, I'm Marissa Pinson, and if you're enjoying this show, I just want to remind you that episodes of I Survived, as well as the A&E Classic Podcasts, Cold Case Files, City Confidential, and American Justice, are all available ad-free on the new A&E Crime and Investigation Channel on Apple Podcasts and Apple Plus for just $4.99 a month or $39.99 a year. And now onto the show.
This episode contains subject matter that may be disturbing to some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.
He did things to me that would make somebody's skin crawl,
that I will never, in my life, ever do again.
Real people.
There's nobody around.
I got to do something to get out of here, or this is real, this is it.
I don't want to die.
I'm 24-year-old. I didn't want to die.
Who faced death.
The feeling of loss of control, it's just indescribable
that I had to consent to this stranger violating me in the most brutal way.
and lived to tell how.
I looked up to God and I said, God, don't let me wake up
because I can serve you better in your kingdom than here.
This is I survived.
It's February 1996 in McKee's Port, Pennsylvania.
Tanya's parents have recently divorced.
When I was 13, my dad had met this woman.
Joanne, and we moved in with her four months after he met her.
My relationship with Joanne was at first good, and then after a couple of weeks, it just
turned horrible. She treated me like dirt. And my dad just forgot he even had a daughter
anymore. Tanya started at a new school. Thirty-eight-year-old security guard, Tom Hose,
took an immediate interest in Tanya. I had seen him walking the halls, and he would stop.
you know in what classroom I was in and he would stop and he would look directly at me
you know in a classroom full of kids he would wink at me and then keep on going I was
in school about a month until I initially first met him I was walking up the halls
and then all of a sudden he had turned the corner right when I was going to my
locker and it scared the crap out of me I didn't hear him coming or anything he
looked me very sternly and he's like well where's your hall pass you know and I
showed him you know I told him you know I told him what I was
doing and he made small talk with me. He was very nice and he was joking around and everything
and he made me laugh. Tom arranged to meet Tanya in private. Almost every day he would come and take
me out of class and we walk around the halls and him getting to know me more. And then that happened
for a good month, month and a half. And then he showed me special spot, which was underneath the gym
stairs. And that was the first place where we kissed. At the time, I had a huge crush on him.
I did. And the feelings at the time, you know, him having, you know, was paying all this attention
to me and me being vulnerable and young and going through such a very hard time at home.
I felt very loved. I felt like somebody cared. Tom convinced Tanya, now 14 years old, to run away from
home and live with him in his parents' house. He convinced Tanya to have sex with him and hid Tanya
in his bedroom so his parents wouldn't know she was in the house. Every time his parents came up
and knocked on the door, I had to go into the closet. I remember sitting there in the closet
and I thought about my dad and I started to cry and Tom was not sympathetic at all. He jumped
all over me. He was just very nasty to me that I was crying, missing my father. He said,
you're not missing a father. He's not a father. You know, so why would you even have those
feelings? I'm your everything now. You have no father. You have no mother. You have no family.
You only have me. Tanya is reported missing and the police are searching for her.
As far as I knew, nobody was looking for me. And nobody had cared.
That is what Tom was telling me, because he worked with the police officers, too,
because they had to come up to the school for other unruly kids.
And he told me there is no mention of you at all that you're gone.
There is no mention of you.
Nobody cares.
I care.
That's it.
Tom kept Tanya locked in his room every day.
He was gone all day, and I was stuck in a room by myself all day, lonely.
Most of my days were just sitting.
there. And it got to the point where I was just so lonely that I would sit by the furnace
vent and I would listen to what his parents were talking about downstairs because it was just
so lonely. And then as time went on, the more lonelier I got, I ended up carrying on conversations
with myself. There was no place to go to the bathroom except for a bucket that Tom supplied
for me. And that is what I went to the bathroom in and every day whenever he was.
He got home from work, he dumped it.
Whatever he told his mom to make for dinner that night, you know, he would bring up a plate,
and then I ate what he couldn't finish.
I only bathed once, maybe twice a week.
He would take me down in the middle of the night when his parents were fast asleep.
I'd say about two, three in the morning, and I would get a shower in a very cold cellar.
When you hear day in and day out, you know, that nobody cares, that he's my everything.
that he saved my life, that I'm stupid,
that I'm only a pretty face, that I need to be taken care of.
When you hear that day in and day out every day,
you believe it.
As the months went on, he just turned into this domineering person.
You know, I own you. You're mine.
You know, I'm your God.
This is literally what he would say to me.
If I complained about the life, you know, up in the bedroom,
You know, he would threaten to kill me.
He would smother me in my sleep.
He said, you know, throw my body in the river, that he has connections and, you know, and
there was a lot of nights I didn't sleep thinking that he would truly do that to me.
He had me dye my hair, bleach blonde, he would bring home the box dyes.
I was his Barbie doll.
You know, I had the perfect body, the perfect hair for him, not for me, for him.
I became his slave, you know, not only his slave with him,
but his sex slave.
I had to do things to him, and he did things to me
that would make somebody skin crawl,
that I will never, in my life, ever do again.
And I hope that nobody would ever have to do that,
because it was horrendous.
There were times when I was sitting there,
and I would, you know, alone while Tom was
at work, and I would sit there and think, should I get downstairs and tell his parents,
should I? But I was too scared. Because if I would have done nothing, he for sure would have
killed me. Tanya had now been reported missing for almost a year. One night the cops came. He grabbed
me and woke me up, and he literally grabbed my arm and took me all the way downstairs and then
down into the basement. There was this box downstairs. It was about the size of a TV box. He
He says, you will go in this box and you will sit in there.
The police officer came in.
I heard them walking around, and then the police officer left.
That was it.
And I'm sitting down there behind the furnace
and the hot water tank, just shaking like a leaf.
The one thing that he said to them to make the cop leave
was, you know, please don't wake my elderly parents.
That's all I ask.
And at that point, the cop felt sympathetic
because Tom made it look like he didn't live with his parents,
that his parents lived with him.
There were times when he was sweet and he was nice
and come home with, you know, a rose for me
or a necklace or, you know, it just, it,
in my mind, you know, it was like he's not a bad guy.
And then there were times he was just absolutely evil
up in my face threatening my life.
I felt compelled to write a will.
I wrote down who I was, where I was born,
who my parents were.
what I'd like done with my body and where I wanted to get buried at.
And I put it under the carpet in the closet.
And I left it there for many years.
I was just so brainwashed that, you know, I was just under his spell, under his control.
Tom made me change my name.
He said, we're going to use your middle name, but you're not going to be Nicole.
It's going to be Nikki.
He said, well, it's time for you to meet my parents.
So that way you don't live in this room anymore.
You can live around the house.
He made up the story that I lived, you know, in another town
and that I was a babysitter and that I lost my job
and I couldn't afford my rent
and that I was moving in with them for a little while.
And he had mentioned all this to his mom.
And, of course, she couldn't say no to him.
Nobody said no to this man.
Tanya was now 18 and Tom finally started letting her out of the house
The first time he let me out was to go buy some clothes for myself
The clothes that I had brought with me were long gone
He gave me $120 and he told me what bus to catch
What bus to catch back
I hadn't been outside in four years
I hadn't been in society four years
So it was a deer in the headlights
I had to call him constantly from the pay for
And when I got to the bus station to call him, you know,
when I got to the store to call him,
when I was done shopping to call him, telling him,
I was getting on the bus on the way back to the bus station.
When I got to the bus station, I had to call him,
telling him I was walking back up the hill.
I felt like a magnet, like I had to get back to him.
Like, don't anger him, you know.
Get this and get this and get this and get out of here
and get back to him.
Do not anger him.
I was just very much under his control,
Very brainwashed.
I didn't, you know, think about, you know, getting away or anything like that.
I just thought about I got to get him what he told me to get and I need to get back in that house.
You know, otherwise, I'm dead, you know, that he will kill me.
Six more years passed.
Tanya was now 24 and had been held captive by Tom for 10 years.
Tom had me start going up to this convenience store to get the newspaper.
And up there, I met the owner, Joe.
This time went on, you know, we became closer,
you know, and then Joe started to notice
something that just wasn't right about me and my life
and how I was.
He asked me questions, like, where are your parents?
And I would just tell him, I don't know.
You know, I don't talk to him.
He would say to me, you know, there's a place down the street
that's hiring and this and that or this place is hiring,
and why don't you go apply, and, you know,
And I just couldn't because of Tom.
The next day, Tanya went back to Joe's store.
I went back in a back room and I sat down and I started breaking down and crying.
And Joe's like, why are you crying?
And I said, Joe, there's something I need to tell you.
I says, I'm not who you think I am.
And he just kind of looked at me like, what?
And I said, my name isn't Nikki Allen.
My name is Dania Nicole Cash.
I said, I've been with Tom since I was 14.
He was just in shock.
He's like, don't do anything out of the ordinary.
I would take care of everything.
Just go do what you got to do and then go back to the house.
He says, I will take care of everything.
Immediately after Tanu went back to Tom's house, Joe called the police.
I'm sitting there in the living room and I'm waiting.
And I'm waiting and I'm here.
And it felt like a lifetime sitting here.
The next thing I know, all of a sudden, so many went in front of the
front window and they were peeking in.
And I get up and I open up the door and it was actually a detective.
And he looked at me and he said, are you Tanya Nicole Cash?
And I said, yes.
And he went, oh my gosh.
And at that moment he gave me a hug.
He goes, we've been looking for you for 10 years and I'm like, really?
And he said, yes, your picture's hanging in my office.
It was three officers with their guns drawn that went upstairs and grabbed
Tom and they bring him downstairs. Tom looked at me and he said, well, what's going on,
Kitty? You know, my nickname, thinking that I was going to defend him. And I looked at him
and I said, it's over. Tom's mom is standing there and she's saying to the officer, all I want
to know is why are you in my house? Why are you here? And he's, and the police officer standing
next to me pointing at me, he says, do you see this young lady? Your son has held her captive for 10 years.
And all she went was, okay.
And she just went and sat in the kitchen and stared out the window.
Then his dad comes downstairs, says, what's going on?
And they tell him, and he just stood in the corner in the dining room.
Tanya faced Tom in court.
He was literally three feet away from me.
And as I was reading my victim impact statement, he kept leaning over saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
And I said to him, shut up, because I'm talking now.
Tom Hose pleaded guilty to involuntary deviant sexual intercourse.
As part of a plea bargain, he was sentenced to five to 15 years in prison.
Tom served the full sentence and was released in 2022.
I truly feel that he had this sick, sadistic love for me.
That's why he, I truly think that's why he never killed me.
But I think the reason why he let me out after all those years was I was getting too
old for him. I think he was truly trying to find somebody else who was young again, 13, 14,
because he's a pedophile. He's a monster. Tanya now attends college, has bought a house and married
in 2018. I don't really look back on it. I just look forward now, you know, because, you know,
it's something that I survived, but I only live, I live for today now and live for the future now.
I survived because God got me through it.
God was my strength.
And because of that, I'm a strong person now today.
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It's April 1998 in Littleton, Colorado.
Andy moves to Colorado seeking a new life.
I went out to Colorado pretty much to find out who I am and what I was going to do
and was going to get into computers and realize that was too boring and want to do something
a little more adventurous.
Andy got a job as a park ranger.
On a day off, he went for a hike in Roxburgh,
State Park. Once a week, I would always take this hike. This would be kind of my little getaway,
if you will. When I'm walking up the trail, I passed four ladies on the word down, and I passed
them. Couldn't even look them in the eye and give them a sincere hello, if you will. I'd just
kind of like, hey, this is my, my mountain, get off my mountain. You know, this is my trail, this is my
hike I take every week. When I got to the top, you know, found my little rock that I could sit on
and, you know, they were gone. Nobody was around. And I thought, oh, yes, this is great, this is
great. You know, this is what I wanted. Just by
myself. Andy began
walking back down the trail.
I looked down the trail, and right there
under one of the Ponderosa pine trees,
you could see, you know, the brown fur.
And then I realized that's not
a dog. That's a mountain line.
You could hear
breaking, like breaking a bone.
I was sitting there waiting for this thing,
this mountain line to look at me, and
it didn't. It just went back down to
chewing whatever it was, had killed.
and the initial was just pure excitement
that I finally got to see
right here is wildlife,
right here is the real deal.
This is a mountain line.
I realized really quickly that all this animal has to do,
all this mountain lion has to do is look at me
and it's game on.
I had nowhere to go.
I had nothing but a little knife
and the fear absolutely just took over.
Just a rush of fear that made you feel
extremely vulnerable that made you feel like I don't have a chance so I had all the
time watching this cat underneath this pine tree I started folding all the
blades down and kind of make a makeshift weapon you know all the blades were
sticking out when I folded in the screwdriver part of the blade it it slipped
and made like a little snap sound and I looked back down in a blink of an eye this
cat was gone I was panning my eyes trying to look and you know almost in a
panic where did the cat go where the mountain where's this mountain line go
and probably a good 30, 35 feet, almost twice the distance, further down the trail.
There was the mountain lion looking right at me, and I stopped cold.
We just locked eyes.
I don't even remember breathing because the power that came through these eyes that locked onto you were so intense.
It was so incredible and powerful that we stood there and stared at each other for about seven plus minutes.
I realized that this is going to get real, real quick.
As soon as I started backing up,
as soon as that scrubboat kind of broke our view,
a blink of an eye, that cat was right in front of me,
just in a flash.
At this point, I started yelling at this cat,
get away, get away, get out of here!
But the power of this cat looking at you
with the dominant teeth,
the intensity coming through almost froze you.
The cat gave this vicious growl,
that just echoed across the mountain.
That's when the cat came at me and launched at me.
Claws came out, went right at my head.
Thankfully, somehow I jumped out, jumped away from the cat,
got out of the claws, the cat jumped again, missed,
and I'm running backwards as fast as I can trying not to fall,
but still screaming at this mountain line,
trying to get this thing to stop.
It almost came at me almost like a walk,
like no effort whatsoever.
Andy tried in vain to fend off the mountain lion with his pocket knife.
That cat launched with everything it had, just launched at me, slammed up to me.
We were throwing off the trail, landed about good 10 feet down off the trail.
We snapped two, three-inch diameter trees, just snapped them right off.
Bottom claws were all in my, like, thighs by my knees, the top claws.
You could hear the popping sounds just pop-pop, pop, pop, pop, all into the neck, the bottom jaw.
bit on the top part of my hair line, the top of the jaw bit on the back part of my head,
and you could, and the cat bit twice, just whirr, just raking, you could hear it raking on your
on your head. The jaw's now locked into my head. You could see the tooth right in front of your
eye. The smell from the breath was just horrid, like just, just rotten flesh, just death.
I was 24 years old when this happened, and I realized that this is the
the most real moment of my life. There's nobody around. I got to do something to get out of here,
or this is real, this is it. I don't want to die. I'm 24-year-old. I didn't want to die. I started swinging
up on the top of the cat's head, and I took about two, three swings. It just folded right up.
Every time I took his swing, it was going through the bone in my finger, cutting my own hand off.
The cat realized that he's got to get another bite at me or another swing at me, so the claws
popped out of the neck, took two swings towards my eye.
You could hear a really loud pop right in the corner of my eye
and ripped a four-inch, three-four-inch gash right under my eye.
Four more bites, it raked on my skull.
It was like you had a faucet on your head,
and all you saw was blood.
All you saw was the red.
I reached over the cat's head, which was still locked on to mine,
undid the knife out of my hand,
reached back, felt two bump soft spots.
if you will, and as hard as I could shove my thumb into what would turn out to be the cat's
right eye. He made just this loud, squealing, chirp, and the claws loosened up. I threw my head
back up on the trail, jump back up, and the cat was down sideways, looking off to my right. The eye
was all gray and mushy. I saw a volleyball, basketball-sized rock halfway in the dirt, so I ripped
that out and overhead through it. Wham! Slammed right into the cat's side and the cat kind of
shuffled a few more steps down and I realized, go, get out of here. I have, hopefully, I have enough
time. So I'm running down this trail. I have two and a half plus miles to still get down this
trail. You would see the blood dropping down on the trail on your shoes and when I turned
around hoping, you know, don't come at me. We're right there at the corner was one of the pine
trees and right on the inside of that pine tree short enough there's the
mountain line looking right at me again there's the cat again looking right
over the tree and I took about two more steps and realized you gotta be kidding me
no I don't know no more no more I'm done I fought this hard you know no more
no more and I turn back around and instead of seeing the cat I saw a transparent
face of Jesus the overwhelming calm peace
Almost like I got picked up, I got you, son, I got you.
And it just, an instant chill of just go, go, go, go.
Andy ran another mile down the trail.
The skull from the 8-inch gash was hanging down from running.
It's like I had a red mask on.
You know, the blood was still dripping.
The blood was all over the shoes.
And the forehead was hanging, sagging down from the gash so you could see the skull.
Andy ran into the four women he had ignored on the way up.
I had nothing left.
And all of a sudden, one arm went up over a pair of shoulders.
And another arm went up over a pair of shoulders.
Two of those ladies that I couldn't even say, hi, how's your day?
We're now dragging me.
Feet were practically off the ground dragging me that last half mile.
After running to safety, he is rushed by helicopter to the hospital.
I had about a three, four inch gas here, right millimeter from my eye.
I didn't have plastic surgery to clean it up because it was so jagged from the tear.
I had about two feet of bite marks, 70 staples, which set a record.
The surgeon mentioned at Swedish Medical Center.
Searchers never found the mountain lion that attacked Andy.
Andy still enjoys hiking in the mountains and is now an inspirational speaker.
That was the changing thing in my life to give me a whole new priority, whole new life,
and now I can live to help other people or to even just put a smile like on those four ladies.
that I passed on that trail that day.
I survived this mountain line attack simply
because of the grace of God.
And I have learned now to live for him.
I gave him my heart.
I gave him my trust.
And now I have a best friend relationship with Jesus
and my Savior.
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It's October 1982 in Brooklyn, New York.
Denise is living in a Brooklyn apartment building.
I worked at a utility company.
It was a night shift, 5 p.m. until 1 a.m. in the morning.
Denise took the subway home after work.
The stop right before mine, Lafayette Street, a man steps into the train.
He sat across from me and he didn't say anything, but he just began to just stare at me.
He had his hand in his pocket and then my first thought is, oh my God, does this guy have
a gun or something?
I got and I moved away and then just as I moved away, my stop came.
I kind of briskly walked away from the subway without trying to seem too frightened by
him because I didn't want him to feel, I didn't want to be intimidated by him.
The next night, Denise finished work at the same time.
I'm riding home my normal route on the subway and the same man from the previous
night steps onto the train at the same stop and then my heart stopped because then I
realized this, he's doing this on purpose and it's beginning to escalate. He leaned over and you
You know, he sat with his legs open as if to say, yes, I'm sizing you up without saying it.
Denise got off at her stop and hurried home.
The following night, there was no sign of the man on the train.
I went home.
I'm feeling pretty comfortable, and I, it's over.
Whatever, whatever that issue was, it's resolved.
It's gone, it's over.
I pushed the door, and I'm standing in the vestibule.
I hear footsteps behind me, and I turn around.
Fear just washed over me when I realized it's him.
It's the man from the subway, from the two nights prior, and I realized he's followed me home.
We're not even two feet apart, maybe inches apart.
And he's looking down at me because he's 6'1 and I'm 5'2 and I'm wearing flat shoes.
So I literally have to look up at this man.
I backed into the corner.
I tried to back into the corner that was further.
from him, but it's a very small vestibule.
I'm trying to decide, do I show fear?
Do I fight?
What do I do I do?
He reaches inside the coat, and he brandishes this knife.
It's the kind of knife you use when you're carving a turkey at Thanksgiving.
It's a huge knife.
He pushes it up under my chin, so his elbow is propped up under my chin, and then he
takes the knife, and he has it under there.
I'm looking around trying to get near the mailbox, because underneath the mailbox,
There were buzzers for each apartment.
He tells me to stand away from the mailbox.
Still not yelling at me, not raising his voice.
He's trying to be very quiet,
but he has that controlled, monotone type voice
where it gave me the impression
that this man has done this many times before.
I didn't know what he wanted, but I knew at some point
my life would be in danger.
I knew at some point that he was there to harm me
or even kill me.
He lifted my head almost up, and that gave him the room to put the knife immediately under there.
And then he asked me for money, and I'm like, this is all to mug me?
I'm thinking, okay, this is over.
All he wants is some money.
He's been following a mound to see if I had any money.
He's rifling through the purse, and he pulls out my wallet.
I'm thinking, okay, this is life in New York.
You're going to get mugged.
And I could get through this.
I could get through this if I just let him have what he wants and he'll go away.
But that's not what happened.
He says to me, who's upstairs?
And I'm like, if this guy thinks he's getting in my house, he's out of his mind.
So obviously I lied.
And I said, well, my family's waiting for me upstairs.
There's people upstairs.
So he was trying to figure out if I was lying or if I was telling the truth.
I knew enough to know that I should not allow him to get me to a more secluded.
location. We're still very close. I mean, so close we could feel each other's breath on each other
because now he's pushed up against me against this wall. And then he tells me to get down on the
floor of the vestibule and still, it doesn't register in my mind. What else do you want? I gave you,
I gave you my money. You've intimidated me. You've controlled the situation. You had everything
you wanted. And then he tells me to remove my skirt. It was like a Dr. Jekyll, Mr.
high moment where his, whatever switch he had, it was, it was, it was flipped. And now he's more
evil. He's yelling at me. He's, he's growling at me. He's pulling me down by my, by my clothing,
and he's ripping my blouse. I'm whimpering. I'm crying. I know exactly what he's, what he's
trying to do now. I had on a light jacket and I was wearing a skirt and, you know, you have
on panty hose and all these things that you have to take off to get undressed. So,
So I'm trying to go as slowly as possible with the hope that someone from the building might come in or someone might walk by and see that there's a man on the floor and investigate, but that wasn't to be.
I would feel the blade more closely under my neck.
I was able to feel my skin separating, and you could feel the open wound starting to develop.
So I didn't want to agitate him any further.
at that moment that I had to comply with this.
Or he would just slip my throat right there.
And the feeling of loss of control is just indescribable,
that I had to consent to this stranger
violating me in the most brutal way.
All of my things are scattered around me,
and I'm on this floor,
and this is when I realize that for surety,
he's done this before,
because when he's done this before,
because when he exposes himself,
he's not wearing any underwear.
He's not, he is ready to do this attack.
At this point, he's attacking me.
He's actually penetrated me,
and I'm thinking to myself,
I'm crying audibly loud,
and every now and then he's telling me to shut up,
and he's calling me a B,
and he's saying, if I make any more noise,
he's gonna effing kill me,
he's gonna take this knife, and he's, you know,
He's explaining how gory he's going to go through this motion of killing me.
And I'm laying there and I'm like, what is the better route?
Do you, do I want to die on the floor as a victim?
Or do I want to live with the stigma of actually being raped?
In the middle of being raped, I feel the door hitting me, the outside door, and the person
is pushing against the door.
And I look up and I see my neighbor.
The attacker jumped off, Denise.
He pushes his way.
He keeps pushing the door and pushing the door until he pushed his way out.
My neighbor had his 10-year-old daughter with him.
He pushes her behind him.
That's when he runs away.
He never really talks to the neighbor.
He just ran away.
The neighbor called 911 and Denise was taken to the hospital.
She had to take time off work to recover.
About four days into the week that I stayed home from work, I got a call from the police.
And they wanted me to come and identify, to see if I could identify this person in a lineup.
So I went there, and lo and behold, he was there.
And I identified him, and I asked him, how did they catch him?
And they went into how the next night he attacked a 13-year-old in another building.
Denise's attacker, Thomas Babbitt, was sentenced to 18 years in prison and died behind bars.
I survived because God intervened and he sent someone to upset the attack because it was nothing else I could have done to save myself.
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