Cold Case Files - I SURVIVED: I Wanted Him to be as Afraid of Me as I Was of Him

Episode Date: April 19, 2025

Susan is attacked in her home by a man with a hammer, when she decides to fight back there are deadly consequences. John and Jean are living with their four children on a catamaran out at sea when they hit a reef in shark infested waters. Penny is a restaurant manager closing one night when she is attacked and left for dead.PDS Debt - Get started with your free debt analysis in just 30 seconds at PDSDebt.com/survived!Pretty Litter - Go to PrettyLitter.com/Survived to save 20% on your first order AND get a free cat toy!Progressive: Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, iSurvived listeners. I'm Marissa Pinson. And if you're enjoying this show, I just want to remind you that episodes of iSurvived, as well as the A&E Classic podcast, Cold Case Files, City Confidential, and American Justice, are all available ad free on the new A&E Crime and Investigation channel on Apple Podcasts and Apple Plus for just $4.99

a month or $39.99 a year. And now onto the show. This episode contains subject matter that may be disturbing some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. I was absolutely terrified. I knew in my core that he was here to kill me. Real people. I see the white of these two bones, my leg bones,

and the ends are just shattered. And beneath them, there's this spreading pool of blood. Who faced death? I begin vomiting in the bag. And he begins beating me as I'm begging him not to kill me and live to tell how. I grabbed him by the throat and said to him, as we were literally nose to nose,

you're not gonna kill me in my home. This is I survived. It's September 2006 in Portland, Oregon. Susan, an emergency room nurse, has been married to her husband for 17 years. I'd never wanted to be a failure at marriage and worked very hard over the course of 17 years to build a relationship. But he had issues with anxiety, abandonment, and anger that as he got older became more intense and more disruptive to our life together. I had witnessed domestic violence in my family and in my first professional life to the point

where I felt that we were at risk because I was not happy. He had never been happy. And I felt that we needed to risk because I was not happy. He had never been happy. And I felt that we needed to separate for our safety. Susan was separated from her husband for a year. During that time, she continued to maintain a friendship with him. I had friends over and he was outside with us on the deck and off to the side and he just had this very strange look in his eyes

that my friends who've known me for many years and who also knew Mike felt was very scary. And on that day, I felt that he was getting angrier. That was the day I decided that I'm going to file. Susan began divorce proceedings, but her husband still had access to her home. I went to work that morning. Everything was normal.

I had a nine hour day and a busy ER, nothing unusual at all. When I got home, I went into the house. I saw the bedroom, it looked dark, and I presumed that I must have forgotten to open the blinds, but did not think anything was amiss, my house having been alarmed. I moved forward, and from behind the partially closed bedroom door,

out stepped a man who had yellow dishwashing gloves on and a hammer in his hand. I could see that he had long, grayish hair, that he had a dark baseball hat on. At first I thought maybe he had a mask because it cast shadows across his face. He had a beard. I said, who are you?

What are you doing here? Get out of here. He swung the hammer, hitting me in the side of my head, and swung again, hitting me in my temple. I was so full of fear and rage and adrenaline myself that my only thing that I could feel was terror and the knowledge that I needed to do that I could feel was terror and the knowledge that I needed to do everything I could do to live through this.

I began to struggle with him for the hammer, and he had a very tight grip. And as I struggled with him, I began to sense that he was not there for a burglary. He never asked me, where's your safe? Do you have any guns? Are there any money in the house? Do you have drugs here?

None of the things that I would think that a burglar or a home invasion robber would say. And as I struggled for the hammer, he said, you're strong. And I saw in his eyes something that made me believe that he had done this before. He sounded surprised, but he also sounded excited. I was absolutely terrified. I knew in my core that he was here to kill me.

For what reason, I don't know. But I could feel that fear, and I could feel that rage. I grabbed him by the throat and said to him, as we were literally nose to nose, you're not going to kill me in my home. He began to turn blue, and I felt that he was going to pass out at that point. I grabbed the hammer and I began hitting him. My father was a carpenter, and in the 60s you didn't have home alarms.

And he told us that we could feel free to use a hammer and that we should use the claw end because it would work the best. When I had control of the hammer, I used the claw end because it did work the best. I hit him and I hit him. I thought probably I hit him three or four times and then I lost the hammer and I ran. I got just a few feet outside the bedroom door

and he grabbed me from behind, spun me, and began punching me in the face. He broke open my lip. I had another bleeding area of my lip as well. I felt dizzy. We were both bleeding. Susan fell to the floor. I looked to the left and could see the phone jack, but there was no way for me to reach the phone. And as I turned my head back, I saw him with the hammer bending over me, about to hit me again, and I knew that if he did, I would be dead.

I was filled with rage and adrenaline and fear that I would soon be dead. I grabbed him by the leg, and I pulled him down, and I continued to try to get the hammer out of his gloved hand, but I couldn't, and I was tired. I was screaming for my neighbor Joe in the hopes that he would hear me,

but my voice was getting less and less, and my strength was going. I started to bite him. First on his forearm, I bit him twice, and then on his upper arm, I bit him on the edge of his back and along on his right flank. I bit him on his thigh and he did not let go of the hammer. I even, because we were now side by side facing each other, bit him in his genitalia with the hopes that he would let go of the hammer

or in the hopes that if I died that I would leave marks on him that would help them determine that he was the one who had done this. I felt for stuff in pockets, an ID, a key, a comb, anything that I could throw into the next bedroom so that when they found me dead in my hallway, they would know that I fought and I struggled. I wanted him to be afraid of me as I was of him. When I realized I was not going to ever regain the hammer, it came to me that I needed to become the weapon.

And I put my left leg over his right leg, which pushed him face down into the hardwood floors. I was on his backside. And I leaned forward until I could put my left arm under his neck, and I began to squeeze. I told him, tell me who sent you here, and I will call you an ambulance. I let him go so that he could have air and be able to speak, but he didn't. Instead, he began to do his best to flip me up off of his back. And I knew that if he were able to do so, I would be dead.

I had seen a police officer choke someone. It's called a sleeper hold, and the intent is to apply enough pressure to both carotids so that they go unconscious. When he began to turn pink again and regain his ability to flip me over, I knew that I needed to lean forward until he was still. The man fell unconscious. My heart rate was so incredibly high that I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I grabbed the hammer, and then I struggled up, and I ran. I ran through the hall, through the living room, and out.

And then to my neighbors, where I hammered on the door and said to Dennis when he came to the door, let me in. I've been attacked. I think I may have killed a man. We heard police sirens and medic sirens coming into the neighborhood as we sat on the porch. And I was holding a towel to my face and trying to clean the blood off of me.

And shortly after, an officer came over. I asked him, is he dead? And he said, yes. I immediately began to think about his family. Everybody has somebody who loves them. Children, a wife, a mother, a dad. The worst of this is not that someone tried to kill me, but that I had to kill someone else to survive.

But I have no shame, because I did not choose his death for him. I chose my life. I chose life. When I returned to my home the next day, I was anxious to hear messages. There was a message from my husband on both lines, but the man who would sound totally agitated over very minor things did not sound like a husband who was hearing that his wife had nearly been murdered the night before. And I knew when I heard his voice on those two messages that he did this. He was behind this.

Susan's husband, Michael Kuhnhausen, was arrested a week later. He was sentenced to 10 years in prison for solicitation to commit aggravated murder. It's a very humbling thing to know that somebody wants you dead, especially after 17 years. It's humbling to know that you've had to kill a man. I survived because I had training in how to avoid injury in violent situations. And when you combine that with the fear of knowing that someone is trying to kill you and the power of adrenaline that is your gift in those instances, I had all the tools that I needed to survive. Spring is in the air.

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options within your budget. Try today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, price and coverage match limited by state law, not available in all states. It's June 2004 in the Society Islands. John and his wife Jean have used their life savings to embark on a life at sea. For two years, they've been living with their four children on a catamaran. They've sailed through the Caribbean and Pacific headed for Australia.

I've been sailing all my life and for the second half of that life I had this dream, you know, taking my family out on the open ocean. And I wanted to do it because I wanted my kids to experience nature firsthand. I started thinking, you know, this is not such a bad idea to put the family in a small contained space. At least we'll have some time together as a family and I'll get to know my kids. John and Jean had four children aged between five and 16. Jean homeschooled them aboard their 55-foot catamaran Emerald Jane.

We were about 350 miles west-southwest of Tahiti. And we were on our last leg of our journey to Australia. We were about two days out at sea when our boom came loose from the mast. We're adrift and the boom is starting to slam into the mast and on a big mainsail that's it's not just a nuisance it's dangerous and Ben and I and Amelia and Gene were wrestling with this problem and it's going to be pitch black by five o'clock at night because there's no moon this night. And I call it quits. I say, look, we're going to fix this thing in the morning.

We've still got our genoa, which is the big sail that goes to the top of the mast and attaches at the bow. That's pulling us forward. The family went downstairs to the saloon for dinner. 16-year-old Ben, the eldest child, was in the cockpit. I just hear this horrible scraping sound. And at first we just looked at each other and said, well, it must be something like a palm, we've put a palm tree or something that's floating around. But in that same moment, there's thunder, there's like this detonation underneath the boat, like a low frequency, below a boom, right?

And Ben yells, reef, at that same moment. And I bound up into the cockpit, and I look over the side of the boat, and by the ship's lights, I can see the red of the coral beneath us. And I know that we're in a world of trouble. I throw my starboard engine into reverse, full reverse, and I jump across the cockpit, and I throw theboard engine into reverse, full reverse, and I jump across the cockpit, and I throw the port engine into reverse, and I start running for the bow, and Ben reads my mind.

He knows instinctively what I want. I got my hand out. He slaps the knife into my hand, and as I run towards the bow, I slash the sheet that's a line that's holding the genoa, and that's pulling us onto the reef more. And I turn, and I'm running back towards the stern and there's just this huge, I see this huge black wave and it just humps up and breaks.

And the water just came gushing through the right hole like, like I thought I was in a scene from Titanic. I mean there were plates and dishes and clothes and stuffed animals and everything just flying around on the water. And I looked over straight ahead to the sofa where my kids are sitting, and Amelia's got her arms around the two little ones and they're just shaking and they're screaming,

I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die. I jumped down into the radio room and I began broadcasting, Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, and I'm getting absolutely no answer. John activated the Emerald Janes emergency signaling device. I jump back in the salon and I yell over to Ben and I tell him, we've got to get up there and inflate the life raft. And he's right behind me and we're up there.

We're up on the bows of the boat. I'm telling Amelia to go get food for the life raft and as she's doing this This massive wave hits the boat the mast actually comes loose from the whole deck and this huge three-story like 2,500 pound mass comes down and it just lands on the deck, and I can hear John scream. The pain just explodes in my brain, and it just boomerangs back down to my leg,

and it comes back up. Emerald Jane's mast is laying right across my legs, and I just remember thinking, it's impo... This is impossible. It's impossible. And I latch my hands onto the mast, and I used that to help me do a sit-up, and I pulled myself forward,

and as my field of vision clears the top of the mast, I see the white of these two bones, my leg bones, and the ends are just shattered, and beneath them there's this spreading pool of blood. The spreader on the mast actually cut right through John's leg and his leg was just hanging by a little tendon of skin. The boat was being smashed by huge breaking waves. 16 year old Ben made a rope tourniquet for John's leg. My mouth and my nose are only eight inches off the deck so every time a wave comes up

I'm underwater, you know, and I can't breathe. And every time one of these huge seas comes in, that mass will lift. It'll become buoyant a little bit, and it'll lift a little bit, and then it drops, and it's dropping right back down on my knee. So I'm in a world of hurt. You know, I'm in a dimension of pain

I've never experienced before. A sensation overcomes me that I've never felt, and I didn't recognize it, and I kept probing in my brain, what is this, what is this, what is this? And I realized that I was dying. Jean and her son Ben struggled to free John from under the mast. The children, aged five, nine, and 14,

kept a watch for breaking waves. These shouts, these defiant warnings that my kids are firing off to each other, they're yelling, big one, big one coming. They're screaming at the top of their lungs and they're not giving up. See, they're defiant. They're fighting. They're not quitting. And it sinks into me finally.

I get it. And I decide that I'm going to fight too. I'm not going to give up. It's this level of pain that you don't think that you can withstand. But nothing changes, you know. Time just keeps going. And I know that there's just, I can't get out. Nobody can lift a ton and a half of mast off of me.

And this huge wave hits. And in that moment, I've got nothing else to do, you know. I'm laying there, I'm kind of a captive audience. I see the mast in it, and it lifts up higher than I ever saw before. And I push as hard as I can underneath, and I get out and the mast slams back down. But I'm free, you know. I'm out from under. The catamaran was starting to break up on the reef. When the right-hand hull, the bow broke off, it scissored around and the life raft fell

in between the two hulls and it's just getting smashed together like a donut inside these hulls. And I mean, I couldn't believe it didn't even pop. And we're without a raft. And we enter a period, you know, where there's just nothing to do but to tough it out. You just got to hang on and believe. It was after midnight and the family has now been on the reef for seven hours. Three of the children aged five, nine, and fourteen were at the rear of the boat. They were just unusually, unusually quiet. I mean, my second son, Jack, is a chatterbox, and he did not say a single

word. Camille talked to me once the whole time. And she said, Mommy, if I go to heaven, will you come with me? And I just said, well, of course I'll come with you. And she said, she goes, I just want daddy to stop hurting. I can hear Jack and I can hear Camille crying. And it is not lost on me that I have put them there. This idea of going across the Pacific, you know, Gene cooperated with it. But I was the instigator. I was the instigator. I was the source. So for me to die knowing that one by one they're

going to lose their lives on this godforsaken reef and it's my fault that I've done that is unbearable, unbearable. It far surpasses my physical pain. John was rapidly losing blood. passes my physical pain. John was rapidly losing blood. 16-year-old Ben had tied a tourniquet around his father's leg. Ben never stops thinking, and he's the only person on the boat that understands that our time is very limited on that boat. There's less than half of it's left. It's being pounded into pieces, and if he can't get the family off of the boat, they're

going to die right where they stand. So he and Amelia take the two kids on their back, and they go through this, like, this waist-deep water. Ben comes back to the boat where I'm sitting, and he says, okay, the kids are okay. They're on the reef. I really think you need to get off the boat, too. And I said, well, I can't leave your dad here.

You know, he's not in good shape. So I said, well, we have to get this life raft out of there. And he said, well, we can try. It took Gene and Ben an hour to free the life raft from under the boat. They loaded John into the raft and swam it into a tide pool on the reef. Amelia's holding onto the dinghy.

She's chest high in water. And she's holding the whole raft, the whole life raft, away from the coral edges, the sharp edges, razor sharp edges of the tide pool. And we get in the life raft with John to try to keep him warm, because he's just shaking now. We didn't even think about laying there with his blood and urine and stuff,

because it just didn't matter. It was like we had to keep him warm and we had to keep him alive. Emilia's out in that water for hours and it's liberally laced with my blood and she knows it. Not a good thing. Ben spends the entire night combing the reef

for cans of water, cans of food, whatever. At 6.30 a.m., John sees something in the distance. He thinks he sees the reflection of the sun off of the windshield of a plane. That's all he can make out. And he fires the last flare that we got, big flare, 600 meters. And a minute goes by, another minute goes by. Then I see this jet circling around and the jet comes right over us and we are just, I

can't believe it. I say, John, you know, just please just hang on. The French Navy pilot was responding to John's emergency device signal. The pilot alerted some nearby islanders to pick the family up off the reef. They've got no medicine, you know. They've got no medical skills. They've got no radio. It's an hour and a half ride back to their little settlement. I'm more conscious than I've ever been in my life.

It's an intuitive sense. I just understand that I've gotta breathe and that I've gotta regulate my breathing and I'm very conscious of the beat of my heart and that beat has to be willed and you have to just stay with that. The family were taken to a tiny island. They had to wait another two hours

before a Navy helicopter arrived. I just remember as it was coming down to land, just holding Ben and shaking, and that's when I finally cried. It was like, that's when I could finally like, wow, somebody's actually coming to get us. John and his family were flown to a hospital in Tahiti after being rescued from their wrecked yacht. The tourniquet that Ben tied around John's leg saved his life. and his family were flown to a hospital in Tahiti after being rescued from their wrecked yacht.

The tourniquet that Ben tied around John's leg saved his life. You know, my son Ben is a real-life example of a boy becoming a man in seconds and never looking back. His behavior is an example of true courage over a very long period of time. Ben was under fire and he never quit. He never quit. John's leg could not be saved and was amputated below the knee. I knew that my leg was gone, right? But I was just so happy that my wife and kids had survived.

It just didn't, it didn't mean that much to me. I survived because of the determination, the will and the love of my family, and also because of my faith in God, and the combination of those two are why I'm here today. I survived because of the strength of belief and the inspiration that was played out right in front of me by my wife and by my kids

in the middle of just this insane madness, this black night that seemed to have no end, that they watched over each other and they watched over me. And that's a gift that I'll take with me to my dying day. There's a predator hunting you. Silent, patient. It doesn't need a weapon. It uses interest rates, late fees, and collection calls. At first you barely notice, until it tightens its grip. One day your paycheck vanishes, your bank account frozen, the life you built gone.

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Penny is managing a franchised restaurant. I worked there three months. They had moved me down there to take over a restaurant that was failing. And they thought I was the one that could do it. And I was doing a great job turning it around. My boyfriend had given me an engagement ring. And I was probably walking on air, just the happiest woman I could be. Penny worked the late shift and closed at 11 p.m.

I did what I do every night when I closed. I walked each employee out the front door and made sure that it was locked when they left. As I was entering, leaving the dining area, going into the kitchen area, someone came up from behind me. I felt something in my back, and at the same time, they said, don't move.

And it was unbelievably scary. Never have I been that scared in my life. And I froze. Penny could not see the intruder. And he put the gun on my shoulder. And he said, See this? This is real. He said, Take me to where the money is and don't turn around.

As we walked towards the office, I slipped my engagement ring off in my pocket. I thought, you're not getting this. I don't care what you get, but you're not getting this. He said, open the safe, but don't you turn around." So I got down on my hands and knees. I opened the safe, and he said, now give me all the money, but don't turn around. Just put it behind your back. Penny handed him $600. At this point, he began to get angry, and he said, that can't be all there is. Give me the rest of the money. And I said, I can't get to the rest of the money.

I can't open that part of the safe. He exploded. And the amount of rage that he had, it was, it sent chills through my bones. It is unexplainable, the chills and the fear. He put a plastic bag over my head and tied it with a piece of rope that he had brought with him and told me to stand up.

I stood up and I still was facing away from him. He told me to turn around, which I did not want to do. I did not know what was going to happen. I was afraid that I would suffocate inside that bag. And I started praying, God don't let me die. I can't die, too many people need me. So as I'm standing there begging him not to kill me, he said to me, take off your shirt

in a very more demanding way with a lot of swearing involved. more demanding way with a lot of swearing involved. And I said, no, I can't. I can't. So he ripped it open, and I can remember hearing the buttons pop on the floor. He told me to take off my pants. again I said I can't. I just can't. Please don't do this to me. He told me to lay down on the floor.

Penny's attacker removed her clothes and tied her right leg to a filing cabinet. He then tied her left leg to the office door. And I'm praying under my voice for angels to come protect me, get me through this, help me through this. And he tied my hands around the wrist to the bottom drawer of another filing cabinet. And there was nothing I could do and I knew if I fought him I would die. I began vomiting in the bag and he begins beating me as I'm begging him not to kill me. He begins hitting me in the head, in the face, knocking out teeth. I heard him unzip his pants, and I thought, okay, here it comes.

As he finished, I laid there and tried to be as lifeless as I could. I made myself not leave. As he walked out of the door, he gave me another big kick in my knee and the door closed. I can feel the vomit that's in the bag and it's up to my ears. And when I breathe in the bag, I'm sucking the bag into my mouth. So I know I have to do something or I'm gonna die of suffocation. Penny was left tied up and unable to move. And I began screaming for help, screaming for help,

knowing no one was out there, but rationale didn't matter. And when it finally dawned on me, I'm using up all my oxygen, I took the cart, okay, think rational, think rational. How are you going to get out of here? When I sucked in air and the bag was in my mouth, I would grind my teeth and try to chew through the bag. And I finally did. And when I chewed through the bag,

I could barely reach my pinky. And I got that pinky in that hole, and I ripped it open. I laid there and I took in deep breaths. And I began working using my teeth and what fingers could reach. And I got my hands untied. And I tried to get my left foot untied, but I couldn't. That knot wouldn't come out. Penny was able to reach the phone and dial 911.

It took over 15 minutes for the police and ambulance crew to arrive. The ambulance personnel wanted to get me out of there and take me to the emergency room right away. But there was a female police officer that held them back and she said, let me talk to her first. She knelt at my feet and I begged her for my coat to cover me up and to please untie my leg and she wouldn't do it. And I kept saying, please cover me up and untie my leg.

These are men out here going to see my nakedness, and I want covered up. And she had one question to ask me, and it was, Penny, did he finish? I said, I don't know. And she became so adamant about it that I lost it and I just began to scream and cry to get me out of here. And so at that point, the ambulance drivers just weren't going to wait anymore.

Penny was rushed to the hospital with severe injuries, including brain damage. She had to have her uterus removed and a pacemaker put on her bladder to control its function. Penny never saw the man who assaulted her, and he has never been caught. For three years, I was a different person. I wouldn't go shopping by myself. I wouldn't drive by myself because of fear. The police officer who attended the crime scene lost her job. Penny married her fiance and has started a ministry for victims of sexual assault. for victims of sexual assault. I survived that night because I had to live for my daughter. I could not die and leave my 16-year-old daughter

without a mother. I survived that night because I was not ready to die. In this family, we live by the spirit. And laughter is free with gut-busting comedies like Pee and Peel, The Neighborhood, Everybody Hates Chris, and Boomerang. Watch all the hits, all for free, from all your favorite devices. Oh my god, I love it! Feel the free Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.