Cold Case Files - I SURVIVED: It Looks Like Dynamite

Episode Date: February 25, 2023

Michelle and her daughter Breea are home alone when three masked gunman burst through the door. The home invasion turns into a high stakes bank robbery, and Michelle's only hope of survival is to help her captors pull it off.

Hey, Cold Case fans, A&E has another true crime podcast that I think you'd really like to hear. The I Survived podcast is based on the classic true crime TV show. It's harrowing stories about people who have faced death and lived to tell the tale. This is episode one, but we'll be dropping new episodes of I Survived every Saturday right here in this feed. If you like what you hear, go subscribe to the podcast now, wherever you listen to podcasts weekly. This episode contains descriptions of violence. Listener discretion is advised. Yes, we were a victim that night and we were victimized again in the courtroom, but am I going to stay a victim for the rest of my life? That is not an option.

Michelle Renee didn't have an easy childhood. Her dad was abusive and she was desperate to leave the house. There were times where, you know, we were separated and taken away from our parents. There were times we didn't have water and electricity. I grew up in a very, very challenging home. I decided, you know, everything with my parents. I ran away at 15 and I got a job at Burger King, and I've been working ever since. And I just never really dealt with my childhood. I kind of just pushed it aside and never really dealt with it and thought, I'm just going to move, you know, just steamroll straight ahead.

Little did she know that the coping skills she used with her dad would be put to the test one late November night in 2000. This is I Survived, the podcast where we talk to women who've lived through the worst things imaginable and all the tragic, messy, and wonderful things that happen after survival. I'm Caitlin VanMol. It started out as a very normal day, rushing out the door, getting, you know, my daughter to school, getting to work. And one thing really stood out during the day is a gentleman came in that just seemed odd. And that was really the only thing that stood out. And after he left, I didn't think anything else about it.

Michelle's daughter, seven-year-old Bria, also enjoyed a very typical day. I was at school and then it was like an open house thing for my school that night. When they got home that night, they would only have a few more minutes of normalcy before their lives would be turned upside down. Before making dinner, I thought it would be a good idea to just relax on the couch and have a little fun, and we were just laughing and giggling. And the next thing I heard was the most unbelievable, loud, thundering sound and turned in the direction of that noise and saw them coming in SWAT style, all dressed in black and masks and guns and wood was everywhere. And they had kicked in the door

and broke right through the lock and everything. I turned around and saw the three men running towards us. And my first reaction was to turn and run towards the bathroom. I knew that there was a window in there and that I could hide. Before I could even get up and go to move with her, it was that quick that they grabbed me by my hair and put guns to my head and forced me face down on the floor. Bria hadn't made it to the bathroom before they grabbed her, so she was also on the floor face down. But Michelle couldn't lift her head to see where her daughter was. I was screaming, no, no, no. And they were telling me to be quiet. Don't make us pistol whip you in front of your kid. They were saying, we know that you're the

manager of the bank down the street. We are going to be here with you all night long until you get it into your head that exactly what we want you to do, you're going to clean out the vault for us, or your daughter will be murdered, and you will watch, and you will be next. The largest man of the three was on my back with his knee in my back, and I could hear duct tape unrolling. I could feel myself being duct taped, and I could hear the duct tape continue to unroll once I was taped, so I knew that they were probably taping my daughter as well.

I was just asking them, where is my daughter, where is she? I'll do anything. They were asking me questions and saying, we already know the answers. We're checking to see if you're going to lie to us. So that was when they began asking questions about when does Brinks drop off money in the morning? We need you to get this much money.

How much money's in the vault? And they said, we've been watching everything you do. We know where you eat. We know where you get ice cream. We know where your daughter goes to school. The intruders have been following Michelle for months. They cased a couple other branches before they chose us and followed me home and saw that I was a single mom and we lived in a really rural area with no one around us. I mean,

it was like, without knowing it then, we were the perfect target. Michelle was still face down on the floor and hadn't been able to see Bria since they were thrown to the ground. When I first saw her was when they pulled me up to my knees and spun me around, and I saw that she was laying on the floor face down. She was duct taped, and one of the men was standing over her with a gun pointing down at her. And she wasn't talking and I just wanted to run to her. And you could tell she was just in absolute shock and terror and shaking.

And at the time she was only seven years old. I mainly just felt scared and just wanted to know that my mom was okay because I couldn't see her. That was just all I was thinking. They all had guns, and the ringleader pulled out a bag and came over and pulled out what looked like dynamite, sticks of dynamite, and said, What does this look like? And I said, It looks like dynamite. And he said, That's exactly what it is, and we're going to put these on your body. We're going to put these on your daughter's body and showed us a detonation device and said, if you do not do every single thing we tell you to do and do everything

right with no mistakes, you will disintegrate. Number one meal kit. HelloFresh now has 40 weekly recipes to choose from, so you can say goodbye to your recipe rut and treat yourself and your family to exciting new flavors every week. No matter your lifestyle or meal preferences, HelloFresh has recipes sure to please everyone at your table. From fit and wholesome to veggie or family-friendly, you'll always find something even the pickiest eaters will enjoy. You can customize select meals by swapping proteins or sides, or even add proteins to a veggie dish. And now you can even upgrade for organic chicken or organic ground beef.

You'll only find quality ingredients in HelloFresh's recipes. In fact, ingredients travel from the farm to your home in less than seven days, so you know they're fresh. I am not a good cook. So when I moved in with my sister Erin in 2020, HelloFresh saved me when it was my turn to cook dinner. The directions were easy to follow, and the food was great. Go to HelloFresh.com slash I Survived 65 and use code I Survived 65 for 65% off plus free shipping. If you love I Survived, then you need to check out June's Journey. You play as the intrepid June Parker and follow her story to solve the death of her sister.

You'll hunt for clues in hundreds of beautifully illustrated scenes to uncover new clues in this thrilling murder mystery set in the roaring 20s. Our team has played through Chapter 2, and that's when the game gets really exciting. The story picks up as June realizes she's not the only one on the case, and that danger is closer than she realizes. You'll also need a keen eye to navigate through the hidden objects puzzles. With more than a thousand scenes full of hidden clues, there's always something new to discover. Chapters are added every week, so there's always new characters to meet and places to search. You can build your very own island estate, collect scraps of information, and even meet other players in the online community. Find your first clue by downloading June's Journey

Today, available on Android and iOS mobile devices, as well as on PC through Facebook games. Almost immediately, I kicked into paying attention to every single little detail. Face down on the carpet, I noticed he was wearing black Doc Martin boots. When I was pulled up to my knees, I began noticing the types of clothing they were wearing or the little tags on the back of their pants. I started immediately grabbing hold of anything I could have control over so that in case we did make it out alive and survive this, I could do whatever I could possibly do to help the police apprehend them. The men told Michelle the plan that she was to follow to the letter.

They would ask me to repeat their plan back to them. What are you going to do? They were in constant contact with who they said was a team of people, six people outside of the house on walkie-talkies, saying money one to money two, money two to money three. So that was sort of their demeanor and their language throughout the night. Eventually, they let Michelle and Bria move from the floor and sit together on the couch. And I was just stroking her hair and telling her I loved her. And I was just crying.

I mean, I was just crying the whole time. And she was shaking and just curled up. And we sat there for a really long time until I let them know I needed to use, I needed to go to the bathroom. And the ringleader, the short, stocky one, said, I will take her. And when I saw this person's eyes with the bathroom light on, I knew that it was the same man that had been in my bank that day that was the odd man that I was very uncomfortable around him when he was at my desk that day. He had very distinct, large, round, bulging, red, almost droopy, watery eyes, really distinctive eyes. And so for me to turn the light on in the bathroom and see those very distinct set of eyes was just, I mean, it was like a light went on. And I sort of flashed back to him giving me a business card. I put it in my top right drawer

of my desk. And right then I counted the tiles on the bathroom wall to know how tall he was. I went back into the living room and told my daughter right then at that time, Sweetie, if we make it out alive, everything's going to be okay. My roommate came in, and they grabbed her and drug her into her room. She was screaming, get out of my house. How dare you? She was cussing at them and calling them all kinds of vulgar names.

And she was very intoxicated and really heightened their level of aggression. They began pacing. They began holding guns in our faces, put the gun right up her nose and told her she needed to listen and told her that they were going to blow her head off if she did not cooperate. She cooperated and they tied her up. It was about 4.30 in the morning when my daughter said, mommy, I want to go lay in your bed. Please, can we go lay in your bed? You know, that was our little sanctuary. So I asked them, can I please take her into my room?

Can we please just go lay down in the room for a little while? And the ringleader said yes and sat at the end of the bed, watching us with the gun at us while we were able to go in there and just rest and lay in my bed for a little while and I just I was just smelling her hair and stroking her hair and you know when you're just there and you're with your child and you're holding your child and you don't know if this is the very last time you're ever going to be able to hold them it's really really excruciating. Michelle sat awake for the rest of the night and started to reflect on her life while holding her daughter.

At first it's surreal, and then you, in my mind, I was sort of preparing to die. I thought there was no way we were going to make it out of that situation alive at all. And so for me, it was going over in my head. I was really reliving my past and my childhood and making peace with things that had happened in my life prior to this. You know, I mean, it's kind of cliche. You hear it all the time that my life flashes before me. That is 100% true. And that is what flashes before me. That is 100% true. And that is what happened

for me. I saw everything so crystal clear and kind of went back into, you know, some pretty devastating places in my life and in my childhood that I really had to make peace with in those hours in order to kind of prepare to die. Finally, morning came. The ringleader came over and stood over me at about 6.30 and said, time to get up, time to get ready for work. At the moment when I first woke up and we were like, when we were starting to get ready, I really didn't know what was going to happen to me since she was getting separated. And I wasn't sure if they were going to stay with me or what was going to happen. So that was what really scared me about that morning.

I was blow-drying my hair, and he was watching, and he unplugged the blow-dryer and said, That's good, and it's time to put the dynamite on your body. And they brought the dynamite in, and the big guy was the one who actually brought it in and duct taped it to my back, really, really tight into my ribs to where you couldn't hardly breathe. It was really painful. And they said, it's time to put it on your daughter. And they did the same thing to her. That's the only, that's when she really started to tear up because it was so painful. Mommy, it hurts. Mommy, it hurts. What are they putting on me? I didn't want to tell,

you know, of course I wasn't going to say it's explosives. I said, it's just something so that they'll be able to keep track of where you are and everything's going to be okay. And it was right then when the ringleader took my arm, said, let's go to the living room, sat me on the couch, and said, you have 10 minutes to say everything you need to say to your daughter because this is going to be the last time you'll ever see her alive if you mess this up. We were on the couch together,

and I was just telling her that she was, she's perfect for me. That she was exactly everything I'd ever hoped for when I planned to be a mom. And then their time was up. And then he came out and he said, time to put your daughter in the closet. And led us into her room where he forced her into the closet. I just couldn't imagine her in the closet. You know what I mean? Just sitting there sort of waiting to explode. And I just wanted to keep her mind off of that and somehow give her something.

So I got her a little piece of paper and pen and just said, write mommy a note. And she said, don't go. And that was when she started crying and screaming for the very first time, please don't leave me. Please don't go. And in that moment, I just became totally robotic, totally numb, checked out. The only way I got through that moment is knowing that I had to go do everything they told me to do to perfection without any mistakes to save her life and get back to her. I just remember him grabbing my arm and saying, time to go to work. And I stood up and I turned and just started walking towards the door and I could hear her screaming, going, no, mommy, no, don't leave, don't leave me. And just wailing and crying for the first time with every step that I took towards the door, was it was fading one of

the intruders went with Michelle in her car while the rest stayed behind they eventually left the house yeah they told us that they were gonna stay at the house so don't try anything our my bedroom door that we were in was closed we never knew they left the house. So they could have left right after. We have no idea. I was able to play with my Game Boy and stuff, but my mouth was duct taped and my feet were duct taped, so I couldn't do anything. Meanwhile, Michelle and her captor arrived at work. He stayed in the car while Michelle went inside to rob the bank.

When I walked into the bank and went immediately over to my desk, I opened up that right-hand drawer and I saw his card sitting there. I shut the drawer and I immediately picked up the phone to call and check on voicemail, which is when I just immediately hung up and thought, oh my gosh, I wasn't supposed to use the phone. I already made a mistake. I messed up. What's going to happen? Am I going to blow up any minute now? And I was just frozen there for a second and staring at the picture of my daughter on my desk and just, you just die inside. You just die inside. Then it came time for Michelle to go into the vault and take the money.

I brought one of my employees in there with me because everything's in dual control. I had to tell her this is what's going on. This is what happened all night. I lifted my shirt. I showed her the dynamite on my back and said, if there's any kind of serial numbers or any kind of distinctive markings, write it down as evidence and please wait until I call you and I know my daughter's alive before you call the police or we might be blown up. She began to panic. I actually had to calm her down and say, just calm down. You can do this. Call corporate security. Do not call the police. My daughter's in a closet. My roommate's duct taped with dynamite. Please do not do anything that is going to jeopardize our lives any further.

Her co-worker agreed, and together they began to fill the duffel bag Michelle had brought in with her. I didn't know how much money I was grabbing. I didn't know how much money I was giving them. I had absolutely no idea. Later, it would be discovered that she took $340,000. During the course of the night, when they were going over their instructions over and over and over, they continually said, you need to put it in a specific order, hundreds, fifties, twenties, tens, the rest on top. They specifically said, no funny money, no marked money. If we find out that you

put any marked money in the bag, don't make us have to come back here and kill you. Don't make us have to come back here to hurt you. So there was no way I was going to do anything to further jeopardize my life, my daughter's life, my roommate's life. I was going to do everything in my power to do everything perfect and right, exactly the way they said it, whether or not it was against bank policy or not. Michelle walked out of the bank with a duffel bag and threw it in the back seat where the gunman was still sitting. He told Michelle to drive him to a drop-off point, and he took off. Michelle is finally free to return home, but she still has the dynamite on her back. At this point, I had been away from my daughter for approximately an hour,

and getting into my car and driving with the stick still on my back, not knowing if she's dead or alive, what am I going to find when I get home? As soon as I drove up, my roommate's car was gone. Before the intruders left, they had barricaded the door with chairs. And I just had to struggle my way in and scream, hello, hello. And that's when I heard my daughter say, mommy, we're back here. Just hearing her voice was, my adrenaline was so high. It was, I was, had just got done forcing my way in the door and knowing that she's alive and getting back there just to figure out what to do. Is she still duct taped? Do we all still have dynamite on us? I ran into the bedroom and my daughter was still curled up in the

closet. My roommate was still on the bed. And I immediately ran to my daughter, just grabbing her face and kissing her and said, is the dynamite still on you? No, mommy, they took it off. But she still had duct tape on her hands and her feet. So I immediately began to get that off of her feet and her hands. And then we both began to untape and unduct tape my roommate who was on the bed. I was relieved, but I thought they took the fake dynamite off of her as well because they did with us.

So I was relieved until I found out it was still on her. And I told them, you guys need to go for help. I'll stay here. I don't know if this thing's going to detonate. I don't know what's going to happen. And my daughter was going, no, mommy, no, I'm not leaving you. My roommate said, Michelle, they took it off of our bodies so fast. They just carelessly ripped it off of our bodies. I know I can do this. And I was saying, no, just go run for help. And she's like, let me just cut it off of our bodies. I know I can do this. And I was saying, no, just go run for help. And she's like, let me just cut it off of you. And at that point, I just wanted it off my body. I was saying, just take it off of me, just get it off of me. And she ran and got scissors and cut it off

of me and took the duct tape and the dynamite and put it outside on the retaining wall. And we ran to the neighbors for help. What they had been led to believe was dynamite was actually painted wooden dowels with wires taped to them. But since it was taped to their backs, there was no way to get a clear look at it. We didn't know it was fake until the FBI bomb squad came and got a hold of it and assessed it and realized what it actually was.

Police soon arrived at the neighbor's house and began their investigation. That was really interesting because the first thing they did was separate my daughter and I. And after everything we had just been through, it almost further deepened the shock in a way. Like they didn't give really any care to what my daughter needed in that moment, which was to be with me. And she was clinging to my leg, and they took her away and took her down a hall and separated us again. They ended up questioning me for hours and hours and hours and hours at that point in the living room of our neighbors. Michelle told the police everything she remembered from the night before. The FBI and the police were really, really happy,

but I immediately began to tell them to cover my desk and get the card out of the right-hand drawer of my desk that I know that one of the people who did this to us was a man named Christopher Butler. I Survived is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep. While you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing

right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy, and you could save money by doing it right now from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $700 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now.

Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 29 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $698 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2021 and May 2022. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. I'm Lola. And I'm Megan. And we're the hosts of Trust Me, cults, extreme belief, and manipulation. We both have childhood cult experiences, and we're here to debunk the myths about people who join them and show that anyone can be manipulated. Our past interviews include survivors and former members of the Manson family, NXIVM, MS-13, Teal Swan, Heaven's Gate,

Children of God, and the Branch Davidians. Join us every week as we help you spot the red flags. Get new episodes of Trust Me every Wednesday on Podcast One or wherever you get your podcasts. Eventually, Michelle and Bria were allowed to leave. My boss at the time went and got a rental car and just handed me the keys to a rental car and an address scribbled on a piece of paper for a hotel that we were supposed to go check into. And I was pulling over on the side of the road, hiding. I was sick to my stomach. It was rough.

And so we ended up going to this hotel. And I remember being there and there were kids behind in another room, like behind us, and there were popping balloons and the sound, it sounded like gunshots in the moment. And we were hiding in the hotel room. I couldn't understand why we didn't have somebody protecting us. I didn't know if they were still out there to follow us. They said that there's no chance they're going to come anywhere near you, that we were the last place that they were going to come back to. But in our minds, in our minds, like they could they're still out there with guns. They don't want us to talk to the police.

They could come back and try to kill us. Like that's where my head was all the time. Michelle was realizing the police suspected she might not be the victim. I feel like it started to become clear when they kept coming to the hotel. They kept coming back to the hotel and asking me questions. Then they asked me to come to the station, like to this weird room that was just like a blank room with nothing on the walls. It was just a white room with a table and had me sit down at this table.

They told me that I was going there to look at evidence. And I went there and it wasn't that at all. And they interrogated me literally for hours and point blank asked me if I was involved and brought up my past and my marriage and all this stuff and were really, really hard on me. I kind of lost it. I was like, I don't care what you say about my past. I don't care about what has happened. But for you to ever question whether or not I would ever do anything to put my daughter in harm's way is the most

insulting, most horrible thing you could ever say to me right now. And this needs to stop. Police finally cleared Michelle of being in on the robbery. I know that it is their job to eliminate me as a suspect. I think that the way that they went about that and their tactics were very damaging for myself and my daughter. I don't feel like they took into consideration that that is a complete re-victimization for people who are truly innocent and how hard that is and how it really reinforces trauma and doesn't really allow the victims to heal and move on. And then you have to go through the court process and they do it to you again, which is exactly what the judge said in the case

at the end at the sentencing. She said they have been victimized not once, not twice, but three times. Once she was cleared of being involved, police advised her to leave the state until the trial started. So they went to Alaska. Her grandma on her dad's side lived up there. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I flew her up there to get her at least out of

harm's way. And I came back wanting to figure out what to do. And in that process, I really felt strongly that I needed to just basically give away everything we had and drive to Alaska by myself and camp the whole way and figure out how to start healing. It was the most incredible turning point in the healing process for me. I had to learn how to trust people again because I was by myself and I ended up seeing these group of young kids jumping off this little bridge into a river below.

And it reminded me of my brothers and how much I loved to do that as a kid and how much I forgot about some of the things that I loved so much as a kid. I parked my car and went over to the bridge and I jumped. And it was liberating and it was amazing. And I met people that told me, you need to go over to this beautiful Emerald Park. And I would take a detour and go over there. And I'm cruising around, you know, trying to run away from trauma and fear and everything else that was going on. And heal my life at the same time and get to my daughter in Alaska before her birthday because her birthday was nine days away

and I promised her I would be there so I'm trying to get there I'm gonna cry yeah and I made it to her on her birthday she came running out in the middle of her birthday party and I came pulling up into the driveway and I had stopped at a Kmart along the way somewhere. When I went for a tent, I saw this yellow, bright yellow scooter on sale. I'm like, I'm going to pull up on her birthday and I'm going to whip out this yellow scooter that I know she'll love so much. And I ended up making it on her birthday and just felt like it was such a spiritual journey that just kicked off our healing so much. Michelle and Bria spent almost a year in Alaska. Starting at a different school meant Bria wasn't bombarded with questions from the other kids about what happened to her. She could just be a kid.

I think because I was so young and I just went back into going to school and stuff, it made it easier for me. And I was with my grandma, so I was so young and I just went back into going to school and stuff, it made it easier for me. And I was with my grandma, so I just made friends and started living a different life. I was just the new girl at the school. I didn't have to explain anything. Like, oh, I just moved to Alaska. That's all I really had to say. But their life in Alaska couldn't last.

Eventually, they would have to go back to California for the trial. And though it helped them heal a lot to go back to California for the trial. And though it helped them heal a lot, Alaska wasn't really for them anyway. You remember what you said to me? Said, Mom, I never want to go back to Alaska because I'm a sunny California girl. I want to be here. This is our home. And in my heart and in my mind, I didn't want them to steal that from us, too. I did not want them to take away our ability to live in a place we really, really loved and let them win. I think I liked it because I was so young and like it was new and different. I got to play in the snow and go ice skating and all that fun stuff.

But I would it was good for a year. We saw all the seasons. We saw the Aurora Borealis and all the moose and all that fun stuff, but it was good for a year. We saw all the seasons. We saw the Aurora Borealis and all the moose and all that. We got it. Went to Denali. I got the experience. I'm good. So back to California they went. The four kidnappers were tried in pairs, Robert Ortiz and Christopher Huggins together, and Christopher Butler and Lisa Ramirez together. Lisa Ramirez confessed, but her confession wasn't allowed in court, as it implicated her co-defendant, Christopher Butler, who had not confessed. The first trial was not easy for Michelle. The defense brought up her financial troubles, and Butler said she was in on the robbery,

and that they were romantically involved. They were saying I was having an affair with the ringleader. They were saying that just because I was a stripper 15 years ago or whatever it was that I was, that meant that I was a prostitute. They were saying all kinds of very horrific, horrific things about me that were not true. Michelle wasn't present for the trial, so she found out about all of this from the newspaper. I went in the grocery store and saw the newspaper and what it was saying about me, and that's how I learned about it. I ended up running out of the grocery store, and I was just in tears. I was devastated. I knew, you know, I mean, think about that. People in the community are reading this stuff about you. Potential future

employers, you know, people that Bria's going to go to school with, or mean, think about that. People in the community are reading this stuff about you, potential future employers, you know, people that Bria is going to go to school with or teachers or whoever. And I remember falling apart in that hotel room in Encinitas. Remember that? I fell apart when I saw the newspaper. I was totally wrecked again. It was really like upsetting. But at that age, like you just want to comfort them, but you also don't know what to do at eight years old.

Like, you just don't know what to do. Though they didn't have a home and were still living in hotels, Michelle did have a support system that helped her get through the trial. I mean, I leaned on my brother a lot. I mean, my brother Dave was probably the most incredible person. He gave up his life in LA and packed up himself and his son and moved here to help us and be with us and to get through all of this. And he was in the courtroom every single day. And he actually almost got thrown out of the courtroom because he went right into the face of the defense attorney and called him a dirtbag and how do you live with

yourself? Butler was convicted and sentenced to three consecutive life terms plus 64 years, but this was knocked down to two life terms plus 52 years after an appeal. Lisa Ramirez was acquitted. How is it fair that somebody confessed and not only confessed, was laughing about the fact that the dynamite and everything was her idea in her confession? I saw the video. How is it that that person just walks? With Ramirez out, Michelle was constantly worried she would be a target again. Literally for years, when I say years, I mean years I was scared. We were scared. I mean, we didn't know if they were going to recognize us going down the street. I cut all of her hair off. I dyed my hair. I didn't want them to recognize that. It was,

it was crazy. It just messes with your head so much. You know, you don't know what's real and what's not real. And, but again, as a mom, I'm like, how do I be the best role model for her through this that I can be? I have to not let fear win. Am I going to let what happened a year, two years, 15 years, whatever year ago, stop me from living my best life? Absolutely not. With the first trial finished with a less than desirable outcome, Michelle now had to go through it all over again, this time with co-defendants Christopher Huggins and Robert Ortiz. However, the second trial came out way better for Michelle than the first. The second trial, both of them confessed, and it was a very short trial. The confessions were brought into court, into the room.

One of the guys stood up and basically said, Michelle had nothing to do with this. Like, there was no one else involved in this except for the people that are in jail. And so the second trial went very, very quickly and very differently than the first. Christopher Huggins and Robert Bones Ortiz were sentenced to three consecutive life terms plus 32 years. I did, in my healing process, write a letter to one of them. His name is the one named Bones, really expressing that they didn't ruin my life, and I wish that they didn't choose something that ruined their own lives. I'm not religious at all. For me, it really is about letting go the negative attached to the situation in order to move forward in the best way.

But they knew that having gone through something that traumatic, they wouldn't be able to heal without therapy. I really don't know where we would be without two and a half years of therapy. And what the type of therapy we did which was cognitive behavioral therapy like I couldn't go to an ATM or approach a bank for a long time I would go into full-blown panic attack mode like I couldn't breathe it was really bad so she would slowly go in the car with me and get closer and closer to a bank over time to the point where I could actually walk up to an ATM she was incredible And I started painting and

drawing out of control and writing like crazy. It ended up being a really, really key factor in being able to heal and being able to talk about what was on that piece of paper versus what was in my head was a big deal. Therapy also helped Michelle deal with a lot of things from her childhood. All those things that ran through her mind during the night while she was holding Bria in her bed and mentally preparing for the worst. That was 100% the most pivotal aspect of what this trauma did for me in a positive way. So when this happened and the violence came straight into my face like that, it brought back all of that violence and all of that other trauma that I never dealt with. Though therapy and their family

support has helped them a lot, there are still lasting effects from the ordeal. Home alone at night is really, really, really hard. Even for me now, sleep has been, ever since that night, sleep has been really difficult. I hear every little thing so you know we've had to try to figure out how to manage ways to sleep and get rest and trust at night so there's still even today that's the biggest thing for us being and her being home alone at night is really really difficult for her still yeah it was more like I felt safe just because I was with my mom and I was young so it's easier to like, oh well my mom's around, like I'm good, I'm good. And then I would just have triggers that would just spike it up and it

just hit me all over again. I just would flash that night in my head. You can't walk up behind me unless I see you or I literally scream. If I can't sleep and I'm having a really hard time, I'll get up and I'll stretch and put meditation music on and just go into a meditation and put some deep sleep music on. And that seems to help me a lot. Michelle never returned to her job at the bank. She took the time in Alaska to get her high school diploma and take some college courses. She also started writing again and through some twists and turns, she would make this into her new career. I wrote all that stuff down on paper about the violence coming in through the door that night and me needing to heal my past and my life and moving forward and just everything crazy,

not realizing that it was ever going to turn into anything. And I have these 380 pages underneath my bed. So I ended up writing this book. that it was ever going to turn into anything. And I have these 380 pages underneath my bed. So I ended up writing this book. So I would go into Barnes and Noble and go through books and find the acknowledgement section and write down agents' names and books that were similar to what I was going to do and writing and emailing them. Ended up getting a yes, published the book through Penguin. I couldn't afford a PR person. So I started doing all my own PR and people were like, who's doing your PR and marketing? I'm like, well, I do it myself and just decided to launch my own company and start doing it for other people and

ended up creating and launching Verb Media Group. My focus is video marketing and telling stories through video and through words, which I love to do so much. And so all of this led me to something that I feel incredibly passionate about and really proud of. By 2011, Michelle had her new business and Bria was a cheerleader at her high school. They had been through something horrific and come out okay. But on December 8th, their lives would take another left turn. Woke up like a little weird, like a little groggy kind of feeling. But I was like, oh, you don't think anything of it.

And so I went to school, was having a pretty normal day. I got to my third period. And it's going to sound really gross, but it's the best way to describe it. I was in anatomy class and we were dissecting a cat. and I had to carry the tray back when we were done. And I dropped the tray. My left arm just started feeling weird. Like it just like kind of gave up on the tray and I dropped it. And so I called my mom at lunch and I was like, I need to go home and just take a nap. I'm not feeling okay. So I went home, took a nap, woke up and didn't feel any better. And so I walked down the stairs and I literally like stumbled down the stairs. Like it was not,

I was not good, but me and my mom were sharing a car. So I needed to go pick her up from work. My left arm and leg went pretty numb during the drive and my vision started getting blurry in my left eye. And then I walked into her work. I guess I was dragging my leg. We drove to the hospital and the last thing I remember was her putting me in the wheelchair at the ER. That night they started testing her. They thought it might be stroke, but they started testing her and poking her leg and her arm and everything to test the paralysis and strength. And by nine o'clock, she couldn't move at all. She was completely blind and paralyzed on her entire left side of her body by 9 p.m. And the CAT scan came back as they said abnormalities in the brain

is all that they told me and that she wasn't going to be leaving the hospital for a really long time. And so then the next day, they called in a neurologist, a neurology specialist, who came in and did a spinal tap and a few more tests and confirmed that it was a really severe and rare form of MS. She doesn't really remember the first 10 days in the hospital at all. It was pretty touch and go and really scary for a little bit there. And when she finally came out of it and was starting to kind of understand us, I think we were alone when I told her. It was just her and I, and I told her.

And she handled it incredibly, incredibly well and has been absolute pillar of strength the entire time, just determined. She never gave up on her education. She said, Mom, I'm going to go to college. Mom, I'm going to graduate high school. And she did. And she went looking at colleges in her wheelchair and she broke down at one point and realized that there were certain colleges she couldn't go to that were on her list because she couldn't navigate the campus in a wheelchair or in a leg brace, and eventually ended up at her dream school, know. It's just, I don't know any other way.

Like, I just don't. I don't get how people give up or, like, they're not strong about it. It's the situation you were dealt. You can either be positive about it or negative. But if you're negative, what's that going to do for you? So I just didn't know any other way. Michelle started to tear up. She always cries when people ask me this question.

Because you realize as a mom that you, I nailed this. I nailed this. There's one thing I did absolutely right in my life. It was this. It was raising her. Bria had to go through intense rehab, but eventually was able to walk again, just with a small limp, and regained some of the vision in her left eye. She's had a few relapses, but has started her career in a somewhat surprising field. I actually have a career in finance. And talk about full circle. I never even thought about

that until right now. Yeah. That's crazy. That's how far, that's how much we've healed. I didn't even connect the dots. Michelle's book is called Held Hostage, the true story of a mother and daughter's kidnapping. In 2009, it was made into a lifetime movie of the same name, starring Julie Benz. I'm Caitlin VanMol, host and senior producer. Our audio engineer is Kelly Kramarik. Our producer is Scott Brody, and our executive producer is Ted Butler. I Survived was originally produced by NHNZ. And if you want to watch original episodes, they're available at mylifetime.com slash shows slash I dash survived. To hear more I Survived, please subscribe, rate, and review us wherever you

listen to podcasts. I'm Lola. And I'm Megan. And we're the hosts of Trust Me, cults, extreme belief, and manipulation. We both have childhood cult experiences. And we're here to debunk the myths about people who join them and show that anyone can be manipulated. Our past interviews include survivors and former members of the Manson family, NXIVM, MS-13, Teal Swan, Heaven's Gate, Children of God, and the Branch Davidians. Join us every week as we help you spot the red flags. Get new episodes of Trust Me every Wednesday on Podcast One or wherever you get your podcasts.