Cold Case Files - You Might Also Like: The School of Greatness
Episode Date: February 22, 2025Introducing How CEO Leila Hormozi Went From Broke, Anxious & Arrested 6 Times To $100M Net Worth from The School of Greatness.Follow the show: The School of GreatnessI'm going on tour! Come see The Sc...hool of Greatness LIVE in person!Get my new book Make Money Easy here!From multiple arrests in her early twenties to building a multi-hundred-million-dollar business empire, Leila Hormozi's journey reveals how mastering emotional regulation became the cornerstone of her success. In this deeply vulnerable conversation, Leila opens up about overcoming childhood trauma, battling anxiety, and learning to embrace discomfort as a pathway to growth. What sets her apart isn't just her business acumen, but her radical approach to managing negative thoughts and emotions – accepting them as natural companions on the path to excellence rather than obstacles to overcome. Through raw stories and tactical insights, she demonstrates how true leadership isn't about eliminating fear or self-doubt, but about taking successful actions despite them. This episode is especially valuable for entrepreneurs, leaders, and anyone struggling to navigate their emotional landscape while pursuing ambitious goals.Get Leila's Free $100M Scaling CourseIn this episode you will learn:Why winning never feels good in the moment and how to embrace the perpetual state of discomfort that comes with successHow to transform your relationship with negative emotions from resistance to acceptance, and why this shift is crucial for long-term successThe three key truths holding women back in business and life, and how to overcome themWhy being "smart enough to figure things out, but dumb enough to try" can be a superpower in businessHow to make decisions aligned with your values by treating them as your "board of directors"For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1735For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Alex Hormozi – greatness.lnk.to/1723SCJaspreet Singh – greatness.lnk.to/1257SCRobert Herjavec – greatness.lnk.to/1729SC Get more from Lewis! Pre-order my new book Make Money EasyGet The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookXDISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to team@podroll.fm.
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There are two big things happening at one time that I've never done before I'm going on a book tour for my new book
Make money easy and I'm doing a podcast tour at the same time
It is going to be big and I'm going to seven cities in ten days
Get your friends get your family bring everyone, you know to these cities. I'm coming to Austin, Texas, New York
to these cities. I'm coming to Austin, Texas, New York, Boston. We're going to Nashville. Then we're going to Los Angeles, San
Diego, and San Francisco. Make sure to get your tickets right
now. Go to LewisHowes.com slash tour. Again, bring everyone
you know if you're looking to create more financial freedom
and abundance to your life and you want to see a massive guest
live on the School of Greatness show.
Get your tickets. I can't wait to see you there.
Welcome back, my friend. I have got a special guest today.
Layla Hormozi is in the house.
Most people know of Alex Hormozi. We've had him on here a few different times and he has blown up our content.
People love it.
People can't stop watching and
listening to it and they're sharing it all over the place. But I said you know
what? I want to hear what the real brains behind that business is all about and
I'm half joking here but Leila Hermosie, Alex's wife, he will say she is the
brains. She's the one operating the business. She's coordinating, hiring, hiring getting great talent all these different things. She is the one that's kind of keeping it all together
While Alex is the face and he's creating content and he's doing lead gen and marketing but she's
creating the operations and she's running the business in a big way and
What makes this conversation special is the latest vulnerable?
exploration of her mental and emotional skills that drive true success far beyond just
business tactics. I've seen other content of her that's kind of talking right into
analytics, right into tactics, right into hear the steps. But what you're gonna hear
today is probably something you'll never hear from any of other of her content
unless she starts talking about it again because she got very open very vulnerable and very raw
in a way that I've never seen her emotionally. And it's it shocked me a little bit because
there is so much about her when you peel back the layers About her that makes her unique from her past from her story and all the challenges that she faced
Where she had to overcome so much to develop certain skills that are essential for business today
And if you've gone through any challenges in your life
You have developed certain skills as well, whether you're aware
of it or not. And hopefully this interview with Layla will support you in figuring out
just what those skills are because you are unique and talented. And maybe you just haven't
uncovered or peel back the layers yet on what those skills and talents are to create the
abundance in your life. And speaking of abundance, I have a brand new book coming out called
Make Money Easy. And it's all about creating financial freedom
and living a richer life. Most people are not living in
abundance. They don't feel like they have a rich life externally.
And they don't have a rich life or inner peace internally. And
this book is all about giving you the exact steps in the entire framework for
creating your path to peace, freedom and a financial
abundance. And it starts with the inner work, it starts with
understanding your money story, your money wounds, and your
money style. Once you're aware of those, we talk about how to
get that clarity on what those are
for you through certain assessments in the book. Then we talk about the seven habits, the seven
money mindset habits to unlock abundance in your life. We break those down and all the lessons,
the exercises and the examples you need to unlock the blocks of abundance for you.
Again, you can go to MakeMoneyEasyBook.com.
You can preorder your copy there.
And I'm also going on tour.
That's right.
In just a couple of weeks, I'm going to be in Austin, Texas, New York City,
Boston, Massachusetts, Nashville, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and San Diego.
So if you go to MakeMoneyEasyBook.com
or you just go to the description of this podcast at the top there you'll see
a link to go pre-order the book right now and to get your ticket to come see
me live and we're doing a live special guest in every city as well for a
podcast tour at the same time. So we're doing a book tour and a podcast tour at the same time.
You're getting a two for one baby. Let's go. I'm super excited about this and I hope to see you
there. If you're coming, bring your friends, bring your family. It's going to be a fun evening in one
of those cities. But I am excited for what you're about to experience right now. Again, a side of
Leila Hermosy that I've never seen before
that I'm not sure if you'll ever experience again.
So make sure to pay attention, take notes,
share this with one or two friends
that you think will be inspired by this as well.
And let's dive in with the one and only Leila Hormozi.
Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness.
Very excited about our guests.
We have the inspiring, incredible business leader,
Leila Hormozi.
Good to see you.
Nice to meet you.
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for having me.
We met a few years ago.
And you and your husband Alex just sold a company.
And you were looking to launch acquisitions.com.
What's the thing that you have now that your 20-year-old self
didn't have?
Emotional regulation.
You didn't have that when you were in your 20s, teens?
No.
What did it look like back then?
Because didn't I read you like went to jail or a bunch of times and like had a really
chaotic upbringing?
Yeah. and like had a really chaotic upbringing. I graduated high school and I went to college
and I think it was, you know, if we rewind back further,
my parents had gotten divorced.
I'd lived with my mom.
She got into drugs and alcohol,
ended up being like a very bad environment for a kid.
And so, you know, when I was 15,
she tried to kill herself in front of me. I kind of just like shut
down after that moment until I was 19. Like I just went numb. I
remember actually, because I had been this constant state of
anxiety, like perpetual, like always heightened anxiety in my
body. I've lost like 20% of my body weight or something. I
remember like it was just like, very, very stressed all the
time.
Was this before she attempted to kill herself?
Constantly just stressed because she was drinking,
she'd be gone for a week at a time.
I wouldn't know where she was,
but I didn't want to tell anybody
because I didn't want anyone to like call,
you know, whatever that is.
Child services or something.
Child services or whatever.
This was when you were like 13 through 15.
Nine to 15, yeah.
She'd be gone for a week at a time?
Yeah.
And so- Your parents were divorced before then? They got divorced, they separated when I was nine. Nine to 15. Wow. She'd be gone for a week at a time? Yeah.
And so...
Your parents were divorced before then?
They got divorced.
They separated when I was nine.
Gotcha.
Wow.
So you were with your mom alone most of the time then?
Correct.
Yeah.
And she'd been a great mom before that.
But when that happened, I just completely shut down.
And the way that I was able to do anything was just...
I was numb.
It was like, I wasn't angry. I also wasn't happy. I was just like this. Flat. Flat. Until I
was 19 I got out of the house and then I was just mad and I didn't know how to
deal with that anger so I started drinking and then I started doing drugs
and then I and it turned into this whole cycle and then I started getting arrested because I was blacking out and I was doing drugs and I don't even know what I did half the time
And that's what got me to get arrested six times in 18 months. Wow. I know it was just like six times six times
Yeah, you would think the fourth
Second first. Yeah, I mean it was not enough. Wow, what is that like getting arrested six times?
Humiliating.
Really?
Yeah.
Like I was very ashamed, but I didn't know how to stop.
Wow.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I've never been arrested.
I hope it never happens because I just don't know what state you need to be in to keep
getting arrested.
So I can only assume that you were in a very low estate
at that time.
When you feel like crap all the time,
you just feel like crap again when you get arrested.
It's not very different.
Oh, okay.
You know what I mean?
So if now I were to get arrested, it would feel awful.
This is such a contrast.
But I felt so different.
If you're like, well, this is my life anyways, so whatever. My life sucks, so what does it would feel awful. It's such a contrast. Yeah, but I drew like well, this is my life
Anyways, so whatever my life sucks. So what does it matter? Wow. Yeah, so
During that time what I recognized after some time is that I was at odds with my emotions and
I think what it was is that I
Tried so hard to never feel the way I had felt when I had been in
that house with my mother that first I disconnected from my emotions and then in my young 20s I was
at odds with them. Meaning I would fight anxiety, I would fight depression, I would fight sadness,
I would fight frustration like I didn't want it, I wanted to get rid of it. And it wasn't until I was probably
just in the last six, seven years
that I was like, I can take them with me.
They're not bad.
And I started engaging with them in a healthy way.
Really?
And just changing my relationship with them
rather than trying to stuff them down,
suppress them, get rid of them.
Yeah, exactly. So what would stuff them down, suppress them, get rid of them. Yeah, exactly.
So what would it look like, you know, if you're feeling anxious now versus anxious back then,
how does that look?
Are you having a conversation with yourself?
Are you talking to the anxiety part of you?
Are you, did you used to shame yourself when that happened?
Like what are you doing now versus then that allows you to feel more joyful and peaceful
versus stressful and crappy?
Well, it's actually funny because I think that when I was 19, I would feel an emotion
and then I would drink or I would do drugs.
Then it turned into I would work out, I would study, I would work.
And so I just replaced it, which I mean, hey,
it was something a little more productive. Yeah. Yeah. You still weren't addressing it, though.
I wasn't addressing it. And so it's still I still felt very anxious all the time. I still felt very
stressed. And so now, rather than the moment that I feel stressed or I feel anxious, I go into action.
I go into I say, this is my mental cues, absorption, absorption,
which is like I absorb the emotion. I'm like, let it fill me up. Let me feel it.
Now, I don't need to indulge in it.
I don't need to ruminate, but I can take five minutes to feel what I'm feeling.
And it's not because I need I believe that I need to do some kind of mental
rumination to get over an emotion.
It's because I want to teach my body that it's nothing to be afraid of and that's nothing to run from.
And that's helped me so much because I say, OK, I'm going to give myself five minutes and then I'm going to go on with what my day was going to be.
I'm not going to let the emotion derail me from my day because I know at the end of the day, at the end of the day, that day helps me achieve my goals if I keep if I follow the plan.
Yeah.
You know, and so that has been the biggest change that I've made in the last decade has
just been my relationship with bad negative emotions.
That's interesting because it sounds like first when you'd feel a negative emotion,
you would react to it with a negative response.
Yeah.
Drugs, alcohol, whatever numbing some numbing response. Yeah. Drugs, alcohol, whatever. Numbing, some numbing mechanism.
Yeah.
Then you said, OK, this doesn't feel good anymore,
and I'm getting bad results by doing this.
So let me try to do something productive when I feel stressed.
So you reacted with working harder, working out,
trying to eat better, whatever it might be.
But you still felt the stress and anxiety.
Totally.
But at least there was a better result,
but not better external result, but not internal result.
Now you face it and you feel it
and kind of reflect in the moment, give yourself a pause,
and then you get back into something productive.
100%.
And it's funny because the outcome,
like when we built, uh,
Jim launch first business that we ever had,
I think a lot of that was still fueled off of this, uh,
frenetic energy of like trying to run.
Right. But it created something really cool. But it was,
I remember the moment where it was like two years before we sold that started to
shift where I, I started recognizing that relationship. And then I I said, I wanna be able to do this in a way
that makes me better, not worse.
I don't want work to make me worse as a person.
I don't want work to make me emotionally worse,
to make me spiritually worse, to make me a worse wife.
I want work to make me better.
And so the only way I can do that
is if every time I have a negative emotion,
I look at it as an opportunity
to make a better relationship with my emotions,
which will, that will transfer to all areas of my life,
my relationship, my friendships, et cetera.
And so now it's like, I look at business
as the biggest vehicle for my personal growth
because I'm constantly facing these negative emotions.
And so I get all that practice to confront them
and then say, hey, I don't need to run from any of this.
And that means that my life gets to expand
rather than contract every time I do that.
Was there a moment in your life
like where someone taught you this
or you had someone confront you or coach you
or mentor you that said, hey, I see you doing these things
and it's not helping, here's another approach
or was this just an internal reflection?
Yeah, it's actually, so about a year and a half
before we sold GinLaunch, our first business,
it was like, there was a week where I had
to run our team quarterly, I then had a full team event,
I had a speaking gig I was doing,
and then I had some other event
and I was lying in bed and I remember I just felt so much anxiety and all of a sudden this like wave
came over me and I had a full-blown panic attack and then I was up all night. I couldn't sleep. I
was like what's wrong with me? I haven't had a panic attack in a decade and it wasn't like how
you know when I was younger I would get panic attacks at times. It was like, you know, my tongue is swollen, my hands go numb, like full on, like many
more symptoms than I experienced in the past that freaked me out.
And when that happened, I was like, you know, the first thing that happened was like, what's
wrong with me?
Like, there's got to be something wrong with me because I don't understand.
And then after about two and a half weeks of, you know, I reached out to different therapists
and psychiatrists and doctors and like everyone has their own opinion of, you know, why did
you have this panic attack?
I reached out to a friend of mine who recommended I read a book and the book was Control Your
Anxiety Before It Controls You by Albert Ellis.
And I read that book and I was like, oh my God,
I don't need anybody to tell me what's wrong with me because nothing's wrong with me,
besides the fact that I think these things are so bad.
And-
The things in your life are bad, are certain-
The emotions that I was feeling.
Ah, you thought they were bad.
The fact that I was so anxious about something the fact that
Like there's nothing wrong with me for having a panic attack. There's nothing wrong if you can't sleep at night
Because you're anxious there's nothing wrong, but I was labeling all those things as bad and wrong and saying I needed to make them go away
Mmm, you know somebody's wrong with me. I shouldn't have these feelings of these emotions
Yes, the muscle because sometimes emotions are so strong. we feel like there's something physically wrong with us.
And so I then said, I need to learn all this for myself.
And so I started studying a lot of Albert Ellis and Stephen Hayes, their work just as
behavioral psychologists.
And I think I've read every book from each one of them.
Wow.
And it's really helped me learn that there's never been anything wrong with
me. It's just been my response to my negative emotions that has been, I've just had a bad
relationship with them most of my life. And so I had to change that. And that was when
I decided, because I said, how am I going to be able to achieve my goals if, you know,
my goals do have me doing a speaking event, running a full team. I want to be that person, but it freaks me the f*** out.
And so, yeah, I had a panic attack.
But I want to achieve those goals.
And so that was really the, I would say, like the driver behind my motivation to figure
that out for myself.
And ever since then, it's been a constant practice of recognizing what I'm feeling, remembering that emotions cannot hurt
me, right? It's like a lot of people say like, oh, well, you're not going to die. I'm like, I don't
think most people are scared of dying. I think they're scared of feeling like they're going to
die. You know what I'm saying? Like, we're not scared of death. We're scared of feeling like
we're going to confront death. And so that was really significant for me. And it also, I would say, propelled me in the direction of learning to be more flexible
and less rigid.
Because also, you know, that control, it also wants to control emotions.
Like me, my control in a business setting can be very helpful at times.
Control when it comes to an emotional part of my life is not helpful because I can't control every thought and feeling that comes into my mind or my brain and
so that really taught me that being able to let go, being able to let things occur
and just remind myself that I am big enough to hold space for all of those
things and feeling them is not going to do anything that really was probably
the time in my life when I realized that. It was because lying there at night, having panic attack over those things,
being like, I'm worth multiple hundreds of millions of dollars.
I've built all these things. I have all this team underneath me.
Like, why do I think panic attack ran?
Why is it though that some extremely successful business leaders or wealthy individuals
have a lot of anxiety that they can't get rid of?
Well, I think that the more that you run from something, the bigger it becomes. or wealthy individuals have a lot of anxiety that they can't get rid of?
Well, I think that the more that you run from something, the bigger it becomes, right?
Like there's this quote that I love,
which is, fear is a mile wide and an inch deep.
And so like the moment that you step into that puddle
or into what you think is an ocean,
you recognize it's a puddle.
And I think that most of the time,
a lot of people I meet, because I
talked to thousands of entrepreneurs each month, they're running from something. But that thing,
I think that they always think, I'll tell you this. So before I met Alex, I had a boyfriend.
Don't tell him.
And we broke up. And then after that breakup, I I was really sad and so I saw a
therapist at the time and I said you know it'd been like two and a half months
and I was like just really sad and she's like well why you says that I was like
well you know I did hear that it takes about half the time that you've been
with someone to get over someone and she was like I think that's stupid and I was
like what's this therapist saying that's stupid and And I was like, what's this therapist saying that's stupid? And I was like, okay, well, what then? She's like, I think it takes as long as you want
it to take. I was like, okay, so what do you suggest? She's like, how about Thursday?
What? Yeah. And she was like, how about you're over by Thursday? And I was like, okay. She's
like, well, what would somebody who's over it do? Okay. Well, I would probably start
going on dates.
I would probably fill my time with other things.
I probably wouldn't think about it so much.
I would probably do all these things to enjoy my life.
And so I started doing those things.
And what I recognized is that the moment I start acting like I was over it, I was over
it.
And I think I relate that back because I think so many things that we fear or so many things
we think are these big
things that we have to confront in life, they actually only take a very small period of time.
But we make it out to be like this big thing because we've been running from it for so long.
And so for me, I've just noticed time and time again, most of the things that I've had to confront, I might have been scared of for years, and I can get over it in a matter of hours.
And I think it's the same for so many people, but it's the fear is so persuasive.
Like it persuades you into thinking that it's going to take so long to get over
it, but the reality is it doesn't.
It's almost like you have to skip through the puddle versus you think you have to
swim across this entire ocean.
Yeah.
And so I think that most people just, maybe they don't have the information or maybe they don't take the time because they're so busy in the business to step out and say, what are these things that are constraining me from growing my business even bigger? Because for me, I look at it and I'm like, if there's anything taking my attention, even if it's not business related, I need to handle it. So whatever takes the most amount of mind share for me.
Face it.
Yeah, I need to face that no matter what it has to do with.
It could have to do with my family, friends, whatever.
And so though that doesn't have to do with business,
that's also how I've known how to grow my business
is I have to constantly clear.
I say it like I'm clearing almost, like whatever that means.
I'm not like a woo woo or spiritual person.
Clearing the energy. I'm clearing, yeah, way for
bigger and better things so I can expand my life. Yeah. And I look at it like if
if I have my attention as a jar of marbles and I have a hundred marbles but
I have 25 of them stuck on this thing I'm scared of
and every day I think about it, I would like to take those back.
And so I need to go confront the thing that I'm scared of in order to get those
marbles back and have my full to go confront the thing that I'm scared of in order to get those marbles back
and have my full attention to do the things
that I actually want to do and actually enjoy doing.
Yeah.
When was the time when you started to make
like some serious money?
How old were you when you started to like make?
Cause there was, I know you guys had no money at one point.
Yeah.
I think you might've slept in like your guys car
or something or was like,
didn't you guys sleep in a car for a bit?
So we slept at a client's house and then we stayed at my parents' house.
Okay, cool.
Maybe he slept in his car at one point.
I can't remember if he said that, but...
We had a car for sure.
Okay, anyways.
But there's a point in your life where you weren't making any money, right?
And then there was a point in your life where you started to make some money and then a lot more money.
Yeah.
Did you always feel like you were and then a lot more money. Yeah. Did you always feel
like you were worthy and deserving of making money? No. When did that start to change that
you felt like I'm worthy of making money? I don't think I'm worthy of making money.
Still? You don't think you're worthy? I don't think anybody has to be worthy to make money.
Do you feel like you're deserving of making the money that you have or the money that you have now
you're worthy of having it?
I am a capable steward of the money.
I think that's worthy then.
Yeah, I guess I just don't use that word very much
because I think that what I used to think
is I had to be this amazing.
Honestly, this sounds bad
and I actually do think I'm a good person,
but I've just seen so many people that do make money that aren't the best people.
Now, do they usually lose it?
Yes, but I do think people are capable of making money without like, quote, being worthy
of it.
I think that where it bites you in the butt for most people is that if you know that you're
not using the money for good or you're not doing something good with it, you are less likely to make more because you
have this conflict internally.
You know, usually you say one thing externally, you are something different internally.
You know what I mean?
But for me, it was I didn't believe that I was capable of making money.
Really?
No. What shifted for you to believe you were capable of making money. Really? No.
What shifted for you to believe you were capable of making money?
I made money.
I'm not kidding.
So like, I, until I, actually for me,
it started with sales, which was like,
until I made a sale myself,
like my first, it was a personal training sale.
I made a personal training sale
and it was a $1,300 package and I was like
I'm
21 and I just like I just got $1,300 from words that came out of my mouth to somebody
And I was like, oh my god
And then I was like, I don't I don't need a word about money again. I know how to make money
It was such an empowering feeling
But I think that continued at each level right?
And so it's like okay. I know how to make $1,300.
Do I know how to make $20,000?
Do I know how to make $50,000?
Do I know?
And so at each time, I didn't believe that I was able to until I did.
But I think that I took the action.
There's a term that I think Stephen Hayes coined, which is like acting the opposite.
It's like, if you want to be the opposite of what you are today,
act the opposite first.
Right?
And so I have just continued to use that time and time again,
which is like, if I want to be something,
I don't need to believe that I am first,
and I don't need to think it, because that I
have a very hard time doing.
But I can act as though I am the thing,
and then work my way into it.
And so when you know, we
first started really making a lot of money. I kept feeling like when is like
where's the like, where's the like, gotcha. You know what I mean? Like I was
like, when's it all going away or stopping? Yeah, I remember thinking that
was like next. Like, okay, I figured I'd do it, but now it's definitely gonna stop,
right? Like, when's, when am I gonna, I probably don't know how to use the money. gonna stop right like when's when am I gonna look I probably don't know how to
use the money I probably don't know where to put the money I probably don't
know how to you know make sure the money doesn't like disappear because I didn't
understand anything about getting returns and so for me it was very much I
didn't believe it until it occurred and you needed to see it in order to believe
it I need to do it.
Yeah.
Do it and then see the results of doing it.
Yeah.
Because I think it's like it's a skill.
And so do you have confidence before you have the skill?
I don't usually feel confident until I'm competent.
And so until I was competent, which I verify, but like I learned to be competent at making money
and the measuring stick is I make more money.
So it's like, now I'm competent.
Now I see I've made more money, confidence comes.
So it's like the experience built the competence
which then led to the competence for me.
And then-
What would shake your competence today?
Like if you lost a bunch of money
or if you hired, stole money from you and then you had to fire them over and over again or if bad things happen in business or whatever like would it shake your confidence or would it not affect you.
I'm educated enough now to know that you have to lose money to make money. So like, you know, it's funny because me and Alex, we were talking yesterday, he's counting
up every loss we've had this year.
And I was like, look at all the gains.
Yeah, I'm so much like with when it comes to money.
I'm like, I'm just like, that's the cost of it.
The cost of making money is that you're gonna lose some.
So it's like, for me, it's like, if I want to make $100 million, I'm gonna lose 10 million.
If I want to make a billion dollars, I'm probably going to lose fifty, a hundred million? I don't know. Now, that could be in
lost opportunity. That could have been in making the wrong decision. That could be in the value of
a company. But I've just seen that there's a huge correlation with how much you're willing to lose,
with how much you're willing to gain. Because if you're constantly saying, I don't want to lose,
that's where your mind's focused. Rather than, I want to make more, I want to expand.
So it's like, yes, I want to make sure that I'm not being stupid with my money, but I don't want
to be so focused on not losing money that I'm not opening myself up to the opportunity to make more.
And so I actually think if I lose money now, like I'll give you an example,
invested in a company two years ago. Bad, bad investment.
So that was like, you know,
close to $10 million just down the drain.
Gone. Yeah.
Light on fire.
Yeah.
And I'm just like, this company is not what I thought it was.
I wish I did not buy it.
It is a thorn in my side.
Plus time, energy. Yeah.
Pulling you away from other things.
Yeah. And there's not much you can do
once you've bought majority of a company.
So it's a tough situation.
And every time I'm reminded of like, I don't want to think about it.
Right.
But I'm like, that's, I had to pay the price of losing there to get this
huge win over here.
And I just look at it like that because the same decision-making principles I
used to purchase that company.
I also used to purchase this one and this one is crushing it.
And so it's like, sometimes I think in making money the decision making formula that we use to make
money is good but sometimes the outcome is still not. It's just hiring people. Sometimes you're
going to miss. The process stays the same or maybe you learn a lesson from the process of why it didn't
work and you tweak it for the next process. you upgrade the process, the outcome is not always going to be the way you want.
Exactly. Yeah. So I think you could have the same process and one company
crush and the other one go bankrupt, right? Yeah. You can't control human
factors or if the CEO quits or whatever it is, like the product doesn't work
anymore or something like that. So yeah, I mean there's, you know, when people, when I'm talking to people and I'm like, yes, you know, they're like, how do I
do this in a company? I'm like, well, this, that, and they're like, do I need to understand
finance like that? I'm like, yeah, I understand finance, IT, marketing, sales, CS, this, like
all of it. Same goes for investing. And there's more. And so there's so many things that could go
wrong that, you know, it just, it would behoove me to say,
I made one bad investment, I shouldn't try again.
You know?
And so I, I think one thing that I've always been very good
at is like, I'm very patient.
I can lose, but I'm pretty spot on at like,
where did I, where did I fail in execution?
I can tell if it's an execution or strategy issue.
And so if I've done
an investment and I'm like, it was just this one thing, and I'm like, I want to try it again,
because I know that the strategy is right. It was just lost in execution, but you're not going to
learn that unless you try again. What is the biggest lesson you've learned about winning so
much over the last couple of years that you didn't expect you would learn? Winning never feels good in the moment. Like I think
everyone always asks me they're like you know it's funny when we were growing our
first business people would come to me and they would say congratulations like
you've had such fast growth and I remember I would have this internal like
have I because it's been so painful and I think that the reason that winning's not for everybody
is because winning is hard and because winning is painful.
And the entire process up until you win,
you're doing hard things over and over and over again.
And so you're constantly in a state of discomfort.
That's also why you win,
is because you're willing to put yourself into that state.
And so, you know, upon selling our first business,
I saw a lot of people
and I saw that they didn't have a plan for what they were going to do next. And a lot
of people who sold their first business, they were satiated with that sale. They were comfortable
enough with whatever it brought them that then they didn't feel like they had to push
themselves again. And I never wanted to be that person because I'm like, I'm not even
30. You know, I was 29 when we sold our business, 29, and I already had a multi
hundred million dollar net worth.
And I'm like, people are going to take time off.
And I was like, no, what am I going to, I don't really believe in retirement per se.
Like in the traditional sense, I was like, no, I need to do something else.
And so what I realized was the reason that so many people aren't able to win again is because they're not
willing to put themselves back into that place that they had to
to win the first time that pain that discomfort pain. And I
think that you assume that it's going to be easier the second
time. The thing is, and there's a lot of studies done on this,
which is like, it's not easier, you just know what to expect.
And you have more skills. That doesn't mean it feels easier the second time.
And I will say in doing and scaling very quickly, um, acquisition.com.
It doesn't feel easier.
I just know what to do this time.
And what I've had to do in order to keep winning is I've had to learn to love the
process of being uncomfortable.
And I've always
wanted that for myself because growing up I think, you know, I was in a small
town. Everyone stays there. You become a bartender, a nurse, a teacher at the
local college, whatever. And I just looked and everyone's always remaining in their
comfort zone. And I was like, I have to get out of that. And so like at a very
young age I left home early. I moved across the country. I said, I never want to be that. I don't want my life to be that. I want to die with
so much potential left inside of me. And so for me, I think what's made it easy to keep winning
and being uncomfortable is the fact that it's not about the business, not about making hundreds of
millions of dollars. Like it's like at some point, like I don't even spend the money, you know, I
barely do now. And so what it is about though is like, how can I get to the end of my life
knowing that I haven't left potential on the table?
And that's what I always tie it to, which is like, it's not about the money.
It's about what does Layla look like?
Who is that person that's able to do these things?
I would like to meet her one day, but if I don't get myself to do these things
that are uncomfortable, then that person, I'm never going to meet her.
What are the things that your future self has that you don't have right now?
Or what is she able to overcome or create or generate?
You know, I think what I've recognized is that what's worked for me in many ways and
in so many situations is I'm very good at structure.
I build literal infrastructure of a business and in order to do that, it's good to have
order of things
I always say like I manage chaos. I don't stop chaos. I let it happen, but I manage chaos
You can say like I am a wrangler of chaos. That's what I like tell myself
but there's times when trying to put structure in place actually doesn't help and instead I've had to really lean into being flexible rather than
rigid and so
my journey has been one of becoming a more flexible person,
because I heard this quote one time and it was like the most
flexible system always wins.
And I realized that my what would be like my kryptonite was also what my strength
was, which was like putting order in place.
So it helped me build my first business and sell it so successfully as there was so much order in place. So it helped me build my first business and sell it so successfully
as there was so much order in there. It also can cripple you because when something unexpected
happens, when this happens, like it just took me a little longer to adjust than I would like.
And I want to be able to quickly adjust. And so it's been this constant journey of
being able to not react when something unexpected happens, but respond very thoughtfully
and always ask myself, how can I turn this challenge into an opportunity? How can I respect
myself more by overcoming this challenge nonetheless? And that's always led me to
making the right decision, but it's been the hardest thing for me because I like to have
structure. I like to have control and it helps me in a lot of ways.
It also doesn't help me in a lot of ways.
And so she is much more flexible.
So she learns to become more flexible than you are today.
Yeah, and I think also, you know,
I've recognized like the people I surround myself with.
What do they have that I really like and admire?
I often surround myself with people who aren't like me,
but they're actually opposite of me in many ways. and one of those biggest things is more spontaneous and more
flexible. Play, fun. Yeah, yeah it's almost like I get to live that out through the people around me.
When you have losses and wins and negative thoughts creep up, how do you start to reframe
those negative thoughts to actually fuel you for success in the future rather than?
limit you I
Try to
One I expect them negative thoughts negative thoughts doubts doubting myself
How often do you have negative thoughts more often than positive really? Yeah
Yeah, what are these negative thoughts
that you have? What are they thinking? What are you thinking and saying in your mind?
Um, like, you're not as good as you think you are. You're actually really stupid. You
don't work as hard as you think you do. Maybe it's all going to fail. People don't like
you. Your team doesn't believe in you, you know
I'll make up so many stories in my mark my brain really. Yeah, and how frequent are all those stories daily really? Yeah
But so how do you use them then to to get the success you want? I think I've learned to detach from my thoughts. Hmm, so
You know, I think for a long time trying to suppress them
or not focus on them did not help me, but detaching from them and being able to look at them as
sentences in my mind rather than commands or facts has helped me understand that
if I'm trying to do anything
significant with my life, I'm gonna have negative thoughts come up. If I'm trying
to do anything new, I'm gonna have negative thoughts come up because
anything new your brain sees as a threat and so it's gonna say, oh that's scary
and new even if it's not bad, it's just new and unknown and so we want to
prevent you from doing it so let's put these doubtful thoughts in here so that
she doesn't do it because that could risk something.
So I just expect it as part of the process and I don't try to make it go away.
I just try to detach from them enough to just take successful actions.
And that is where I focus the most, which is like, I just need to be able to detach
from my thoughts enough that I can just follow the plan that I had.
And that's, that's honestly it.
I don't even try to.
I mean, yes, I can reframe them.
I would say like, I can refute them.
Sometimes I look at it like, um, almost like the thought is on trial, like show
me the evidence in either direction.
Uh, which is like, okay, cool evidence that it could be true evidence that
could be false, but both of these things are trying to create certainty
You know what? I mean like we want certainty that our negative thoughts aren't true, but what if they are
Life like certainty is not guaranteed. Nothing's guaranteed. And so for me, it's like I actually have even given up
Trying to find the evidence for a thought being true or not. I'm just like you have no idea
Maybe it is and maybe the worst thing ever happens. You're not going to unless you go forward anyways. And it's almost
like, is this a helpful thought in helping me accomplish my goals? Right. Like, is it true?
I don't know, maybe, but is it useful? No, well then I'm not going to think about it. Right, right,
exactly. Yeah. What would you say then is the biggest thing that is holding back young female entrepreneurs
today?
Female specifically?
You know, I've never identified as a female entrepreneur.
I've just identified as actually a business person.
You know, it's funny, I wasn't going to say female because I knew you were to say this.
I swear to God, I wasn't going to say this. But I'm thinking the only reason I said female,
and it's so funny you said that because the only reason I'm thinking that is because I
feel like some women are going to say that they really relate to you and
how you worry about how people judge you or something.
So I was thinking, is that the thing that females have
over male entrepreneurs?
Because I don't think Alex is thinking about,
oh, people judge the way I look.
I don't think he's worried about that in running a business.
You know what I mean?
So I knew you were gonna say this,
but I feel like women need to know,
or I feel like you would have a pulse
on what maybe women are experiencing
and what's holding them back from being a successful entrepreneur or from the ability to make more money or
whatever it might be.
So I'm glad you said that in response, but hopefully you have another answer.
I do.
Yeah.
So I was going somewhere with it.
Don't worry.
Okay.
So the biggest thing that's holding female entrepreneurs back.
I think the way I viewed it is when I say
I've never identified as a female entrepreneur,
it's because I don't find it useful.
Because then I think of all the reasons
why I should act differently than a male entrepreneur
and why I should think that the rules of money
and business should apply differently to me.
And I have played by the rules that I've just seen
make people successful, whether they're a man or a woman. And so that's been really helpful to me. And I have played by the rules that I've just seen make people successful, whether they're a man or a woman.
And so that's been really helpful for me.
But what I think holds a lot of women back
is I think that women have traditionally
been conditioned by society to be valued for other things,
not making money.
And I don't think that's bad.
I also don't think it's bad if you want to make money.
But I do think that one thing that I will never be able to rid myself of is that I am
valued for also how I look. If I looked like a troll I do not think Alex would
marry me. For real. I don't think he would.
And that's not bad. Yeah, it's not a bad thing.
Women, if you look at the most popular women in the world, they're usually very
attractive. A lot of them. Women can literally gain status
through just being attractive and nothing else. I'm sure men can too, but many more
men are valued for money and ability to produce. And so I think there's first off, women have,
if they want to make more money and build a business, they also have other things that
take their attention. They've been conditioned to also value these things and work to make these things better in their life. And I get that. The second piece to it is,
when it comes to what I think holds women back, is the fear of being put into one of these boxes
that I think like pop culture now does, right? It's either like you're either like a, I don't know, because I'm not as connected in pop culture, because I don't watch much. But I right it's either like you're either like a I don't know
because I'm not as connected pop culture but I see it's like a lot of
women that are like I'm a single female entrepreneur like making money on like
F guys then I see like I'm a business woman I'm all about my business and I'm
this and I'm that or then I see like I'm a traditional wife and I have kids and I
say how it's like I just say like what if you could just say you're an and not an or.
You don't need to be this or that or that.
You could be and.
I love to cook for my husband.
I also like to run a company
that's gonna be worth a billion dollars next year.
Can I not make him cookies and run a billion dollar company?
And I wanna do both.
And I think that I used to think
that I had to pick between those
things, between being a good wife, between being, you know, between my health and in
shape and liking to do hair and makeup and between doing business. And that
actually went in the beginning when I thought that I had to sacrifice being a good
wife and, you know, caring about what I looked like. It made me worse at business
because I was suppressing these other pieces of my life that I actually do value.
And I said, why am I suppressing those things? And I said, well, because I'm afraid that men are gonna judge me for it.
Hmm.
Screw it. Let them judge me. And I do get judged all the time and I'm okay with it.
It's okay people don't understand me. It's okay if they don't understand
my actual capabilities, what I actually's okay if they don't understand my
actual capabilities, what I actually do, if they think I am all these things. I
know who I am and on a daily basis I'm with myself at the end of the day and so
as long as I'm living my life in accordance with things I value I think
that most women just believe that they have to fit in a box of one of these
things. You're either this girl, this girl, this girl, or this girl that fits in
these boxes that you see on social media. It's like you could be a little bit of all those things. It's like who do
you want to be? And I think for me it's I've learned I don't fit in a box and I think a lot of people
think I'm one thing or another or they feel confused and that's okay. It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. Yeah. So what? It doesn't change my life. Sure. From your experience then,
from the challenges you had growing up
to where you are now,
what would you say are three truths
that young women need to know
about what's holding them back in life in general?
I think that young women
need to,
the main thing holding them back is their relationship with their emotions.
Really?
Yes.
There's all, think about all the things people say
to women about their emotions.
Like, oh yeah, you're, well, I mean, let's just be real.
They're like, you're on your period.
Of course you're emotional and mean to people.
And it's like, we actually give ourselves like a seven day
pass to be an emotional wreck. Actually my life changed when I stopped doing that
So it's like the first thing I think is
Just because you're a woman doesn't mean you cannot regulate your emotions. Just like anybody else. Is it harder? Yes
But then that means you have the chance to get more skills
You will be more skilled than the men at regulating your emotions if you learn how to regulate them
Mm-hmm. And so for me, I think like learning to manage your emotions if you learn how to regulate them. And so for me,
I think like learning to manage your emotions and having a good relationship with them,
not allowing them to dictate your life and how you act and become excuses for why you act out in
certain ways. Like a lot of women, you see all the memes and things, it's like, you know, be crazy.
Yeah, funny, but also like not funny. Like for me to achieve the goals that I have in life
and in business, I can't have my employees be like,
yeah, be acting crazy today.
Right, right, right.
They need to respect you and need new job.
And nobody wants an unstable leader.
So like for women to lead, it's very hard to be unstable.
Where does this instability come from?
Inability to regulate your emotions.
And so I think that's the first thing is don't listen to what people say about how
you just can't because of your hormones and because of this because you can't it
just will be harder.
What if lately that people are saying, you know, well, that seems very
unapproachable because my body is, you know, expressing itself to me or I just
feel like the world is throwing so much chaos on me that it's impossible to
regulate emotions
She's out of touch. She's got money. She's got people that help her with things. I don't have that help or that money
So it's exhausting to regulate emotions
How did what do we just say to that?
It is harder
For some people than others. It might be harder for women. It might be harder when you have less resources is not impossible
You have less skills. I
Think it is harder the less skilled you are
Some people are incredibly skilled and they've learned it from they had great frames growing up
They had great mothers. They had great fathers to look up to some people didn't and some of those people it's harder
It's more exhausting. But what would you rather have a life that is perpetually?
What would you rather have? A life that is perpetually capped by the fact that you can't regulate your emotions or a
year of learning that is exhausting, but at the end of it, you realize you can achieve
your dreams because you learned how to do this.
You become someone new in that process.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I didn't, I mean, geez, I didn't have all the resource I have now when I was learning
this.
And by the way, money doesn't help you learn how to regulate your emotions.
I mean, once you have money, you've got lawsuits, you've got people trying to take your money doesn't help you learn how to regulate your emotions. I mean once you have money you've got lawsuits, you've
got people trying to take your money, you've got people trying to steal your
money. I mean it's just same problems they just look different. And bigger. Yeah
and so that's the first that's the first truth that you say. Yeah that's the first
truth I would say. What's the second thing that holds women back? Fear of
judgment. You know I think so many women
I actually I met with when I first started making content. I met with a creator, I'll just say,
somebody who many, you know, quite a famous person who had a wife who also made content in the space
and I said like, do you have any advice for me? Because I want to make content because I think
that it would help me get the right people on my team I think that it's something I've wanted to do. It's like I want to help people avoid the things that I have learned
But like what would you say and
This person and one other person that were very large male influencers said the same thing. They were like
You just can't care so much how you look
I was like what do you mean and they're both like, you know what stopped my wife is she just can't care so much how you look. And I was like, what do you mean? And they're both like, you know what stopped my wife
is she just won't be recorded without any makeup on.
And I was like, huh.
And so, you know, I've thought about that
and I really recognize it.
It's like, I like to have my hair and makeup done,
but I'm not gonna make it a necessity to get things done.
Like we do vlogging where it's like, you know,
it's like they're vlogging me and I'm like,
yeah, I do not look good enough.
Oh my God. And they say it's- You still judge yourself though like they're vlogging me and I'm like, yeah, I do not look good enough. Oh my God.
And they say it too.
You still judge yourself though.
You're still like, huh?
Yeah, right.
But the thing that I've realized is
if I act the opposite of that.
So if I allow people to capture me without makeup,
if I don't wear makeup to work every day,
if I don't do my hair and look perfect every day,
then the thoughts of judgment start to get less loud.
And so I think for a lot of women,
we're so feared, we're so fearful of being judged
for not upholding the standards that society puts on us.
And it's not the standards that are the problem,
it's the fear of the standards and the judgment
that we put on ourselves about them.
Men also have standards that they fear to fail
or fear that they're not living up to.
Everyone does.
I think that just for women,
the ones that hold them back are the ones that I look at
and I just say like, is it making it harder or easier
for me to achieve my goals if I judge myself for this?
And for me, usually it makes it harder to achieve my goals
if I'm judging myself every
moment that I'm on camera, every moment that I'm making content, because I see those women,
it's like they can put out a lot less.
And when you put out a lot less content and you're not able to show up in front of your
team unless you go to a certain way and you do all these things, well then you get less
practice at doing that thing.
I think it just all stems from judgment because I mean you would be shocked at the amount of people that are just afraid to be on
camera because they don't they're not the exact weight that they want. They don't
look like a thin model. They don't look like you know what beauty standards are
today and that actually stops women from being in business showing up the way
they want you know speaking on stages, doing podcasts, making content.
It's this fear of judgment.
And I think that before you change, because maybe it is good if you lose weight, maybe
it is good if you, you know, turn this out, but that is separate from the fear of judgment
of others for not being perfect all the time.
Right.
And the third thing?
Third truth for women. You know, I think that it's probably learning that
perfect is an impossible task.
And in trying to be perfect, you're probably much less likeable.
You know, I think for a long time, I just tried to be what everybody else wanted me to be.
Really?
To be perfect in the eyes of everyone.
Like how can I be the perfect leader?
How can I be the perfect wife?
How can I be the perfect boss?
How can I be the perfect friend?
How can I be the perfect daughter?
And that led me to be miserable, which actually led me to be less liked by everybody.
Because I was just trying to be what everybody else
wanted me to be, rather than what I wanted to be.
Right, you weren't being authentic to yourself.
No, I'm like, maybe I am a bad daughter at times.
I don't call my dad sometimes for weeks.
Maybe I am a bad friend,
because I don't text my friends back
for sometimes a week or two.
And sometimes I'm like, I just don't feel like talking.
Like maybe I am a bad boss,
because today I canceled my meeting with somebody.
Like, I think I've had to accept that at times
We are all the opposite of what we want to be and that's okay. And
so like the best
Advice I can give anyone is like I take that I call the I am bad frame. I am bad
At times in certain circumstances like at times in certain circumstances
I am bad at something or I am a bad wife, a bad boss, a bad friend. And?
You know? And I think for a long time, even just saying I'm a bad boss, like, like, and this reaction,
because I was just like, I put so much pressure on myself to be the perfect boss Hmm, but the reality is is that if you want to be great at anything, you're going to be imperfect
Judged and disliked at times. Yeah, and I think specifically for women especially because I think
There's a desire to please people that is very hard for women specifically
Let's say you got a billion dollars in the bank,
cash in the bank.
What is the best use of that money for you?
What will bring you the most joy and the greatest impact
if you're able to generate that much money in the bank?
I don't know if it would bring me,
it would bring me the most joy, I wouldn't say happiness,
but I would like to make the communities a better place. I'd like to make the world more than just business, you know, I don't know if it would bring me, it would bring me the most joy, I wouldn't say happiness, but
I would like to make the communities a better place. I'd like to make the world like more than just business, you know, and I think if I had a billion dollars cash in the bank, there's a lot
that I could do to not just make business better, but make the environment in which we do business
better, which errs into a side that I don't wish to get into, but at some point, you know,
you can't really fight that there are systems beyond your control, like politics and the
community and the government. And I would love to help make that entire system better so that
things are better not just for business owners, but for people who are just like every day working
a nine to five job.
Because I love helping people build great businesses and I love building a great business
and creating a place where people love to work.
I also just like helping people in general.
And so at some point, you know,
there was a moment probably about six months ago, right?
Was sitting on the couch with Alex and it was like,
well, what happens after this, you know, a decade from now?
When you've accomplished all these big goals. Right, and I was like, you know what happens after this, you know, a decade from now and. When you've accomplished all these big goals.
Right, and I was like, you know,
it like scares me to say it, but like,
I would like to help more than we help now.
What that looks like to me is in this way,
which terrifies me, but I also just like look at it.
I'm like, if I have these skills in life
to be able to do these things and create the Sonata
and help people to this degree.
Then I feel like a responsibility
to do something bigger with it,
because I know that the same skills apply to do things,
to build great communities, to build great schools,
hospitals, like all those things.
You know, and that is something that I would,
if I were to like, I look at it like I wanna go down,
like just like beaten, just like a disgusting corpse.
Like I want to go down like just like beaten just like a disgusting corpse
Fully used up. Yeah, I would like to go down
Knowing that I made the world better
Even beyond business and that is a way that I think you know helping the communities like building communities. Yeah, I
Think that's how we do it. I look at it like we're so isolated now
Especially like in America. It's like we're so isolated now especially like in America it's like people are so isolated it's like the sense of community even you know taking having a fully remote company to going in person
having a headquarters having this huge building it has made my quality of life so much higher
and many of the people in it and I see that I'm like how do we create more of that yeah more
community yeah yeah if you uh hypothetical scenario if you were able to be a psychologist
detached from yourself, but you were looking at yourself as a psychologist and you were
able to analyze your entire life since you know you, everything you've been through,
all the ups and downs, every every emotion every heartbreak every joy
and you're the psychologist what would you say are the the three main things that have built you
into becoming the successful person that you are what are the drivers
what drives i would say that she has learned to channel her obsession into something healthy.
Mm hmm.
It's the first one, because I'm very obsessive.
Um, I think a lot of people like you could consider that in many ways a disorder, and I've been diagnosed as such.
But, um, I look at it as a superpower.
And I'm obsessed about things that make my life and other people's lives better.
Whereas it may have used to be things that were not productive.
I would say that's the first one. I would say the second one is resilient.
I think my ability to bounce back after something really, really bad happens is...
It doesn't take me long.
And it continues to get shorter and shorter.
So I'd say resilience is the second one. Like can just fail epically and I can just focus on like
let's just try again. I'm not going to think about the failure and how bad it hurt and all that. Like
I'm just gonna wobble play and do it again. I would say the third one is that I'm smart enough to figure out how to make things
work but dumb enough to try things.
Like I actually have a decent amount of friends who are incredibly intelligent.
I do not put myself in that camp and they're so intelligent they paralyze themselves.
I think I'm just smart enough to make things work but not too smart to not try.
And gullible mouth to be like, I can make it happen.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And I think, yes, I can make it happen, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
And I think, yes, I would say
those are probably the three things.
If that made any sense.
What's the question you wish more people asked you
that they never ask?
You know, I think just in general,
I've enjoyed this conversation, but many conversations that I have when people ask me questions, they ask me about my relationship with Alex
and about, you know, being a wife to him and what's he like and what, and I love my husband
and I love him as a business partner, but I genuinely have more interest talking about business
and self-development and personal development
than I do what Alex eats for lunch.
And so, you know, something that I was talking about yesterday,
because my assistants are like, hey, this podcast,
you and I went on podcast a week ago.
And it's like, they were like,
what's it like being with Alex?
And I was like, is this all you think I have to offer?
You know, and so then I was like, like being with Alex, is this all you think I have to offer?
You know, and so then I was like,
I wish more people would ask me how to build what I've built
and how to become a person who can build it.
And so I think like very much in line
with what you've asked me today,
as well as like, I'm happy to get into like tactical
things as well.
More so because I think that that's what I think I offer
that's most valuable to the world
and I'm most interested in talking about.
Yeah.
You know?
So you wish people to ask less about Alex
and more about you.
Yeah, and I think, you know, we've talked about it,
which is like, until I, unless I decide to build a company
completely autonomously on my own,
I don't think that people are going to know,
they're going to see me as capable of doing what I've done and I'm okay with that.
I also don't want to build a company of my own.
I think that we have what we have because we created it together.
We're both really exceptional at what we do.
So why would I do that?
Just because I want people to see me a certain way.
Right.
It's like, I don't want to do that.
You know, so, you know, he's like my number one supporter
and he is like, yeah, why are people asking you this?
Tell them it's a waste of, he's like,
I would like you to just snap back in these interviews
and just be like, can you stop asking me about my,
he's like playing inappropriate, but.
It's all good.
Yeah, so I think that's something that it's like funny
because I think you always think you're getting over it.
Because you know, I wasn't on social media for so long. I was internal. He's very well spoken, very articulate.
He looks how he looks. He's so good at all these things. He's very smart. And so it's like, okay, what are you as secretary?
And it's like in the beginning, it actually was that right. And now it's come very far. But it's still
you know, I think people are
like, Oh, she must love talking about what it's like to be married to him. No, I'm just
married to him, but like, I'm, I love business. I love personal development. I love, I love
talking about relationships, but like, what does somebody for lunch? You know, it's like,
I'm like, I'm good. Yeah. What's he like in the gym? Yeah, what's he doing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just like, this isn't valuable.
What's the, you know, not to speak about him, but I just did an interview before you.
He says he has-
Trust you, Louis.
He says he has this more of a reference to what he's talked about.
He has a thing called the Solomon paradox or whatever, or he has a conversation with himself at 85. He said
it's been about five times this year he's had this conversation with his
85 year old hypothetical self. Do you ever have a conversation with your
older self and ask what do I need to do or what lesson do I need to learn right
now to help me get to where I want to be at 85?
Yeah, I would say that
It's less my older self, but more I have similar prompts and I think the question that I ask
Most of the time is I have two questions
one is
Well, okay. I have three I'll give you two questions in a frame. The two questions are
What would I need to do to respect myself more coming out of the situation
Because for me, it's like if I don't have the utmost respect for myself
I don't think I can do anything I've done in business. I don't think I can show up here
I don't think I can show up for my team and I think I can show up for my husband
I have to respect myself first and foremost. That's my priority
the second is
which move will make it easier for me to achieve my goals? I'm always thinking
how do I make it easier to achieve my goals? How do I make it easier, easier, easier?
Like it's hard enough to achieve big goals. How do I make it easier?
So those are two questions and then the prompt that I have is not the
Solomons. It's actually, I look at it like I have my values, right?
And I look at my values as they are my board of directors.
And so every time that I'm presented with a decision
or a situation, it's not what do I wanna do?
It's not what do I feel like doing?
But it's what decision, what action is approved
by your board of directors. And those board of directors are my values.
It's almost like what are your values demand of you doing?
Yes. And I'm like if there's one thing that I actually really feel confident in, there's two things.
One, I'm honest, like to a fault. I cannot, I cannot lie.
The second is that I absolutely make decisions by my values.
It can be gut wrenching, it can be I'm up all night
sweating, it can be, but I will make decisions
based on my values and that visual has helped me
so many times, especially in business,
because you know, there's so many deals,
for example, like home across the table,
it's like, man, this company's killing it.
But I'm like, this founder just completely
took my values.
Yeah, and I'm like, I don't want to give this person money.
When did you discover your values,
and what are those core values for you now?
It's funny.
I discovered those values to myself,
I'm going to say it was when we were selling our first company.
And I took a lot of time to think about,
like, what are my values, right?
And I made it easy by turning those into my company values,
because I think that it's so silly
that we have different values for a company
than we would for ourselves.
And it's like, wouldn't you want the values of the company
to be the values of the founder?
And so the first one is sincere candor,
which is like being honest.
The second one is unimpeachable character, being someone that people are proud to associate with on and off the field.
Meaning for me, like my personal life and my business life are in order.
Like me, like behind the scenes, like doing anything crazy.
Like if I'm gonna do something crazy behind the scenes, I have to be okay with showing everybody as well.
Like I just can't, I'm not gonna hide stuff.
But I don't do anything crazy because I would like to live in a way that is
Unimpeachable and then the third one is competitive greatness
Competitive greatness competitive greatness. I got that from John Wooden. I was a huge fan of the pyramid of success
I don't know. I'm guess course. Yeah
and that is
You play the game for the love of the game
and because you want to be excellent, not because you want the outcome.
And so it's really like falling in love with the process.
And so it's like every time I make a decision, I'm like, does this align with my values?
And I try to keep it just with those three, because if there's more than three,
it's very difficult to make decisions quickly when you have like 17 values.
Yeah, that's good.
You know what I mean?
Sincere candor, unimpeachable character,
competitive greatness.
Yeah.
That's great.
Yeah.
I've got a couple of final questions for you later.
This has been powerful.
I appreciate you.
Yeah.
I know you are a part of,
I'm pretty sure you're a part of Alex's book launches too,
right?
Yeah. But you don't have a book yourself yet. No. Are you thinking of writing one in the
future or you're not sure? I really want to write one. It's a lot of work though.
Yeah I really don't think I have time. Yeah it's a lot. I would have to
change things significantly. But yeah it's funny because people see book launches
like wow Alex's book launch like when he did I was like, I ran the entire thing. I'm assuming you did, yeah, yeah.
Assuming you did it.
I literally was, I ran his book launch
and I was our CFO and the CEO during his last launch.
It was the most, it was one of the most stressful,
I actually gave up working out.
So I was like, I don't know how to do all this.
My CFO retired, I couldn't get a new one.
I'm already being the CEO,
which all the departments were willing to me.
And then he had nobody to run the book launch
and I didn't have time to get someone up to
speed.
So I said, I'll do it.
Yeah.
And so it was, uh, it was so fun at the same time.
That's cool.
Yeah.
You guys crushed it.
But are you a part of, did you help create the, uh, scaling course also the free hundred
million dollar scaling course?
Oh yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's both of us.
Okay.
Cool.
Um, is that the main thing we'd want to send people to today or is there something else besides following you on social media everywhere thing we'd want to send people to today? Or is there something else besides following you
on social media everywhere that we'd want to send people to?
I would say the scaling course or my podcast
is probably fine, yeah.
What's your podcast?
Where can people find it?
Build, Laila Hormozi Build.
I don't know, is there a link?
Apple, Spotify, YouTube.
Apple, Spotify, YouTube, Laila Hormozi Build,
that's where I would send it.
So people can check out your podcast,
Build with LeilaHormozzi.
Social media, LeilaHormozzi everywhere,
YouTube, Instagram, et cetera.
Acquisition.com if people are interested
in learning more about what you guys are up to there.
That's where they can get the course also,
the free $100 million scaling course.
Yeah, and there's-
Alex said there's a link there somewhere for it.
So I'm assuming it'll be on there at acquisition.com
This is anything else we can do to be of service to you today
No, this is awesome. Yeah, it's a great conversation. Okay, I got two final questions
This is a question. I ask everyone at the end. It's called the three truths
So imagine hypothetical scenario you get to live as long as you want on this earth
But it's the last day and you get to live as long as you want on this earth, but it's the last day.
And you get to accomplish all of your wildest dreams, these 10 year goals and you blow through
those in the next 20 or 50 year goals, they all happen.
But for whatever reason in this hypothetical scenario, all of your rants on your podcast
are deleted.
This content is gone, every piece of content you've ever put out, we don't have access
to. So we don't have your information anymore of what you've shared. But on the last day,
Leila, you get to leave behind three lessons to the world. And this is all we would have to
remember you by your content. What would those three lessons be for you? The first would be,
success is available to anybody willing to take successful actions.
You don't have to believe that you're going to be successful to have success.
You just have to take action as if you will be. That would be the first one.
The second one would be
you don't ever really feel better, but you get better at feeling bad.
You don't ever really feel better, but you get better at feeling bad.
I like to always say that I'm pretty dang good at feeling awful.
I like that.
I think it's the skill.
And then the last one.
I think if you want to win big, you have to be willing to lose big. I think if you want to love big, you have to be willing to have your heart broken.
And I think that if you want to have a really big life, you have to be willing
to just take a lot of losses in general.
Yeah.
You know, it's just been the case in my life, which is just.
You it's so hard to access the really big expansion in life if you're not willing,
if you're not willing to lose in all scenarios.
These are good truths. I like those.
Before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you for,
I just don't think I've seen this type of content from you and I want to acknowledge you for
leaning into this and
expressing in this way because I think it's actually to help a lot more people than you think and
whether millions of people watch this or
hundreds people
the people that watch and listen are going to be deeply impacted for a long time because of what you said today because I think people
see you or perceive you in a certain way and
What you shared today, just you showed people
a different side of you, I think,
that is gonna give people a lot more hope
in order to overcome certain pains and challenges
they have in their life right now.
And hopefully just getting into taking the actions,
the successful actions so they can become more successful.
And not allowing their negative thoughts or their emotions to consume their life and
think they're not worthy of accomplishing what they want.
So I want to acknowledge you for open up and sharing and also for
being on your own journey at 32, I think you said.
I think you were allowed to talk about your age, but at 32.
Yeah, right?
Just being able to navigate and manage it all so harmoniously. All the business, the judgment,
the pressure, the media, it's like you got a lot going on and seeing you navigate it imperfectly
but smoothly at the same time is really beautiful to watch so I acknowledge you for that.
And I'm excited to see what you create not only only in the next few years, but these 10-year goals that have got written down.
So we're gonna keep in track and see what happens.
My final question, Layla, what's your definition of greatness?
Leaving no potential on the table.
There you go.
Thanks for being here, Layla.
Appreciate it.
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