Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Adam Scott,Harris Wittels,Chelsea Peretti

Episode Date: August 29, 2011

This week's episode of Comedy Bang Bang is devoted to all the Parks and Recreation fans in the audience. We've jam packed the show with Parks and Rec insiders from Chelsea Peretti to Harris Wittels and even Adam Scott! If you like the unique cast of crazies that Pawnee offers, you'll love hearing Chelsea Peretti's brand new characters. Maybe you watch the show for the compelling relationships: Prepare for the deep, meaningful, fascinating relationship between Jack and his brother-in-law Bryan from Carl's Lumber Yard. This episode will answer ALL your Parks and Recreation questions, as long as your questions are "How many episodes have there been?" and "What's the name of Adam's character?"

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Audible, the leading provider of audio content on the internet. With Audible, you can enjoy books freely wherever you'd like, and doing whatever you'd like. Download a free audiobook and a 30-day free trial by visiting audible.com slash bang bang today. That's audible.com slash b-a-n-g, b-a-n-g. Parks and Recreation, one of our favorite sitcoms, is returning to NBC The Airwaves. This September, you will not want to miss the tribute that we have planned for them today.

On today's show, we have stars, we have writers, you're not gonna want to miss it, all of that and more, all on today's... Hey there, hi there, plus ho there, welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, this is... Already laughing, I love it. This is Comedy Bang Bang for another edition, and my name is Scott Ackerman, and very special show tonight, or today or whenever you happen to be listening to it, it happens to be tonight while we're taping it, Hollywood Nights, looking out at the cityscape. We have what I like to call a Parks and Recreation special, special edition, okay?

Now, does that mean Amy Poehler is here? No. Does that mean Nick Offerman is here? No. Any of the other people you might want? What a dick. Wow. What a dick.

Maybe not, but we do have Adam Scott, he's above the line. Well, you're early, according to you. You're a true asshole. Then we have behind the scenes people, some of the people who are responsible for the success of the show. Is that below the line, according to you? I believe it would be. Below the belt.

We have Harris Whittles from Transpo. You were in Transpo? I'll drive the trucks. Is that a ban? Just kidding. Good stuff already. Were you asking me if you were just kidding? Is that a ban?

Were you kidding? Were you kidding? I was asking you if I was kidding. You weren't. All right, all right, let's get this under control for the intros at least. We have Adam Scott right in front of me. To his right and a little bit left, right in front of me, you have Harris Whittles, fan favorite, and then to my right, sitting right next to me in the New Year Roll Studios.

Also a fan favorite. Another fan favorite, Chelsea Chas Peretti, right here. Now Harris and Chelsea, you're both writers on the Parks and Recreation show, so you guys, all three of you are used to working together in close quarters. Adam won't let us talk to him. Well not when we're at work, I mean, now he's totally fine. Do you guys like sneak little whispers to each other on the set? Yeah, you have to be quiet because they're taping.

I don't speak even to the other actors out of character, so they just don't exist because they come up with words and stuff that I say, so it would be crazy if I were to acknowledge the godlike figures who come up with the words in your head. What is it, stranger than fiction? Right. Right, starring Will Ferrell? Yes. Will Ferrell?

Yes. Check in. Anything on that, bitch? Check in. I didn't really know where to fit in, gotta be honest. I saw you were writing during the bit. That was some tracing I wanted to do. Chelsea, you're new to the show, you're newer at least, and these two are, no, Adam, are

you the newest? I don't know. I'm the newest. You're the newest. I'm the newest. I'm the straight up veterinarian. You work with animals? I love them.

Is this a good start, guys? What do you think? Do we seem like good writers? Harris, you're the old dog in the midst. You were working there a long time. Elder statesman. Old guard. And then you brought in these young pups.

You taught them how to bark. And then they got bite. I got it. And we're in the middle of, or we're about to embark upon the third season or second season. How many seasons? What fourth? What?

It's a number you didn't say. The first season was only six episodes, and the third season was only 16, so if we're talking bulk amount of episodes, like if you were shopping and you were buying episodes of something like you buy, like if you bought... Now this is helpful. This is very helpful. This helps me wrap around the number of episodes. Exactly.

From a woman's perspective, a shopping. If you were buying them, okay, say you're shoe shopping. I'm getting shoes, okay. Harris, you're out getting pizzas. Beers. I love it. I love it. You buy a bunch of episodes like you're buying, like if I was buying vegetables for my family,

you're buying shoes. You seem fun. And you are buying pizzas. And beers. And beers. So you're about to start on this fourth season. Yes. I know it's August.

That's what we're saying. This is the new promo for our show. I know it's August and you'll debut in September, but I need spoilers, man. I need to know, like, what of all my favorite... You got it. My favorite character spin-up, too. Your favorite what? My favorite character.

What's that? Is that... Characters. Oh. Okay. You know, like, what's your character, Jim? What? Oh, Jim.

Oh, my God. This is truly outrageous. It's truly, truly, truly outrageous. Oh, my God. Reverend Jim. Oh, my God. Oh. No.

Your character works in the, you know, in the... Parks and Recreation Department. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben.

Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben.

Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben.

Ben. Oh, my God. I mean, it's a photo. The flash went off. Yeah, just to capture that light feeling in your body. Now, come on, guys. You know I do watch the show. I'm having a little bit of fun with you, but...

You had me at Come on Guys. But, no, the last we saw... The last we saw, Ben, he was all in a tizzy because he expressed his love and his feelings of... Right. A great admiration for... And... Or did he express it?

I can't remember, too. He was in a tizzy. Oh. I'm so sorry. You got that wrong. Everything was great. Have you ever played a character in a tizzy? Yeah, you've probably...

You know what? You're probably thinking of my guest spot on Dead at 21. Oh, that's probably it. All right, let's get it back to... Let's get it back to Parks and Recreation. Yes. Yes. Now, I've gone on record saying I think the porno parody should be farts and procreation.

All right. You've gone on record? Yes, I have. In the court of law. What court? Did you go to a notary public and get that down? I did. The local mailbox, et cetera, has a notary.

Okay. Farts and procreation. Yeah. What about... What? Parks and procreation. No, thank you. You're going to be fired.

What? No, thank you. I much prefer... Get hired at the porn company that makes porcs and procreation. I much prefer a fart porno where they also, you know, the actress gets pregnant at the end of the scene. All right. So it wasn't...

So the farting wasn't it for not? Yeah. Did you say farts and procreation? Procreation. It's when you make a baby. Yeah. But you do... Wait, so you have an idea for a porno where you know someone's getting pregnant?

Yeah. Basically, it cuts to nine months later. Like, this really was the night this happened. Yes. It cuts to nine months later. She's in the, you know, in the delivery room. And, you know, it's a boy or whatever. A boy or whatever, you know, whatever the other thing is.

And then... Yeah, girl. A girl is the other. Yeah. It's true. It's true. If it's not a boy, then it's a girl. Chelsea's a girl.

It's true. All right. We've done race. We've done gender. Seriously, the bit saturation in this room is crazy. All right. Enough with the bits. They're all collapsing.

Let's talk for real, though, about parks. What can we expect? What do we got? What do we got? Come on. Let's promo this up. What's happening? We don't know what any of us are at liberty to say.

Yes, we know. All right. All right. It's a good season. We've written, we've shot like four episodes and it's really funny. It comes on September 24th or something. There was a series of cliffhangers at the end of season three. I love ending a season with cliffhangers.

Because it just builds up the expectation in me of, oh, I want this show to come back. You really vote for it. My cliffhangers are good. I never heard it put it like that and that makes me really think. That's great. I hated cliffhangers before. You said it anyway.

Why did you hate them? I didn't like how they made me feel. The anxiety, the anxiousness. What about the last alone movie, Cliffhanger? I love that. But oddly enough, that did not have a cliffhanger. It did not end in a cliffhanger. No.

You think it would have. No, it was a movie. It started with a cliffhanger. Yeah, but how great would it have been if he goes, he climbs that mountain or whatever the fuck he did. And then it ends with him going, whoa, and almost falling back to the ground. What's going to happen to my body on this cliff?

You know what was cool about the Cosby show is at the end of you choosing they would have a cliffhooksable hanger. That's true. I'm not even just making it true. That is true. That is known in the TV world. That's what you guys referred to. When you're coming up with cliffhangers for the end of the season

in Parks and Rec, you just refer to it as cliffhooksable hanger. We were encouraged to do word play. Yeah. Well, we shorten it because we say it so often that we just say hux. Like, we got to end this on a hux. That's true. Chelsea's choosing to not back me up on this. No, I'm looking at you with a knowing agreement.

With a knowing agreement. I forgot this was a podcast. All right, guys. Well, it's enough about Parks and Recreation. I mean, you guys have a wonderful rapport, and I'm glad you all made it here. It was a heady experience trying to get you guys all together, I will say.

But you finally made it. You're all in the same room. I thank you for that. You know, it's crazy, but can I just say something really quick? We all got here tonight. I don't know if you guys even thought about this because the world we're living in now. We all got here tonight by, we communicated via email today.

We never even talked to each other about this. It just happened all over our device, computer, cell phone, whatever it is. That's a good point. Because, I mean, remember when we were kids, you'd have to, like, call someone on the phone. Absolutely. Or go see them at a coffee show, whatever it was.

And now it's just, everything's moving. Sorry. Wait, is the world better for that, though? I don't know. I think so. Soon we'll be able to do this podcast via text. You're right. I don't know, though, because, like,

isn't that missing some of the human interaction? See, that's the thing. Are these things really making our lives more simple or more complicated? Or more complicated? I'm just asking the question. I don't have the answers. I'm just asking the question.

I don't have any of the answers. I don't know. The question is the answer. All right, guys. Well, great point. Sorry, I just wanted to say that. No, I get what you're trying to say. I don't have the answers.

No, I know you don't. And yet, what I love about you is, like, you're a provocateur. You just kind of raise these questions. Look, I'm not even trying to do that. I'm just asking questions. That was my favorite Jack White side project, the provocateurs.

How did you ever get hired at any job? Let alone. Kind of show up. Really? Yeah. All right, so I think it's time for, you know, Harris, last time you were on the, go check out Harris' last appearance on the show

with Brett Gelman. And the last time you were here, we revealed the results of the poll that we put out to the readers of should Harris return on the show? And if so, should he do phone corner? Should he do foam corner? Should he do one of his characters?

Or should he never come back? And even though there were several, several hundreds of votes for you never to come back? 150 people. 150. Oh, my God. Yeah, it definitely hurts. You are back.

And what they wanted you to do was foam corner. That was the winner. The foam corner. So are you ready to return with foam corner? Sure. All right, let's hear the theme to foam corner. Harris' foam corner. Yeah.

Come on. Harris' foam corner. What? Yo, come on. Harris' foam on the phone. Give the phone. It's a foam corner. All right.

So, Harris, great theme. Thank you. Thanks to Reggie Watts for that. Okay. Here we go. Foam, foam corner. Where there's a will, there's a way ins. That's something.

And a lot of people ask me if I... Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Chelsea, have you never heard... Never heard this. When do you do your next poll? You're going to try to get a grassroots... I wanted to win that army.

It's an annual poll. Sorry. Got to wait. A lot of people ask me if I've ever tried to suck my own dick. Really? A lot of people? 150. And no.

I haven't. Because I can't. That made sense in the phone. Like, I don't have to try is what I'm saying. There's no way I can. What Harris does is he enters these into his phone. I don't know at what point do they turn into foam. So, some of them don't make sense because you've never...

Chelsea is giving you. That actually does make sense. You're like, hey man, have you ever tried to suck your own dick? No, I don't need to try. It doesn't make sense. No, I mean it does. It makes total sense. But it's just like someone making a statement.

Like, I can't touch my toes. We're not saying it doesn't make sense. No, it's good. Okay, so here's what I'll say. All right. One last... No, that's it. I want to get to the meat.

Your last couple have been just... I want to get to the meat of this. What do you mean the meat? Was the story about the fish content? I came here. I didn't come here to do a foam corner. Truth be told, I came here to bring back a very popular character. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Yeah. Are you talking about what I think you're talking about? Jack from the lumber yard. Jack from the... Okay, so you did this the second or last time you were on the show. Jack from the lumber yard, that was his name? Jack from the lumber yard. Okay, and describe this character?

He was a guy named Jack and he works at a lumber... At Carl's Lumber. At Carl's Lumber. His dad's store. His dad's store. Okay, so now this... And why did we do this character? Because I just want to show you that I'm adept at doing characters as I am at writing very

pithy jokes. Now, I remember this character not going over all that well. Well, debatable. If not that well, you mean everybody hated it, sure. But if you mean that I had a good time doing it, then no. But so point being is that... I think there are a lot of fans out there, actually. Right.

They're not really... Did you hear this episode? Yeah, you did it on two different episodes, didn't you? Yeah, he also, truth be told, doesn't need to have heard it because there's an origin story here that you don't know about, which is that me and Adam, we used to do... That character's from a two-man show that we used to do in Chicago back at the Third City Theater. Wait, a two-fer duo?

A two... A sweet two-fer. Wow. That's what we call it in the biz. Business. Okay. We did, like, Thursday through Sunday shows, just the two of us. Thursday through Sunday morning shows.

Yeah. When you say a two... In AM. Two characters... It was a two-character show. You were both playing characters, or you were both playing the same character? I was playing Jack, and he would play... He was playing my brother-in-law that also...

He works at a lumberyard, too, and his name's Brian. At the same lumberyard or a different lumberyard? Same lumberyard. Well, it's Jack's lumberyard, and I work there. Oh, okay. Yeah. Brian works there. I also don't want to spoil...

I think that maybe this was the problem with the characters. You didn't really have anyone to interact with in your world, so this would probably be really interesting to see you kind of bounce off of each other. Well, I mean, our show actually was mostly a moderator asking us questions. Oh, okay. So it works out that you're here. Okay, great. Yeah, I mean, the Jack character does kind of light up and come to life when he's bouncing

stuff off of another character. Yeah, I mean, that tends to happen because you don't see a lot of one-person movies. You know what I mean? That's right. So it would be great to see you guys and see more. Just cast away, and then, you know, if you ask me... Then half of my dinner with Andre. Yeah, if you ask me, City Slickers.

That was a Daniel Stern movie. Yeah. City Slickers, too. That was a Bruno Kirby movie. Yeah. All right, so that sounds great. Anyway, so Chelsea... Wait, wait!

Do you want us to do it? Oh, is that... Oh, you guys actually wanted to do the catch-up? Yeah. That's why we're here. We're the catch-up and mustards. We wore our red and yellow shirts. Harris is wearing a yellow shirt, and Adam's wearing a red shirt, and that...

Well, this is just for old-time sake, because that's what we used to wear at our shows, because it was called the catch-up and mustards. Every 8 a.m. Thursday through Sunday at the Third City Theater. The Third City when you... What do you mean the Third City? In Chicago, it was a little smaller than the Second City, and it was down the street. The Second City is actually a nickname of... Okay, never mind.

All right, so... And your name's Brian? Well, my character's name is Brian. Let us know officially if we've entered. Okay, so do you need to do anything to prepare for this? Well, I'll... We'll do the entrance. Okay.

All right, ready? Creek... Slam... Sit... Hello? Hey. Hey, Jeff. Well, it's great to meet you, but, well, I mean, Jack, you and I have met before.

Indeed. And Brian, this is our first-time meeting. It is. It is. Hi. Hi, it's great to... Great to meet you both. So now you're...

We're taping this at night. Are you coming from a long day at the lumberyard? Yeah. Well, I mean, I work today. Jack worked as well. Not too long. It's pretty normal. 9 to 5.

Well, 9 to 5.30. I got in at 8.45. I just had a little bit of work to do before... Right, and then I had a little bit after, so I stayed a half hour late. I'm surprised. I mean, I would think... I just want to jump in for a second. I would think that...

Hi, what's... Oh, I'm Chelsea. Hi. Nice to meet you both. Hello. Jack, Brian. Cool flannels. My question is...

I feel like when did you get up at 6 a.m. and be like having coffee and cutting down trees earlier in the day? Well, maybe if we were... If we worked... If we were lumbermen. Lumberjacks. Lumberjacks. Being in the lumber trade, we'd think you would know these terms.

I do. It's actually what we call it on the yard. Oh, lumbermen. Yeah. But we work at the lumberyard. The lumber's already been cut down. Yeah, it's already been treated in Greece. I do a lot of administrative stuff.

Like payroll? Payroll and just general... Like some HR and just general... HR. Yeah. As in like human resources? Yeah, I do the lion's share of the hiring and the firing. Okay.

Are you high right now? What? No, Jack doesn't get high, Jack. Oh, sorry. Really, man? I have three lovely girls. Okay, no offense. How old are your girls?

32. 30. 2. And 35. Wait. 30. You have 2. And 35?

Yes. So that's quite a gap between the 30-year-old and the 2-year-old. It's a little miracle. Wait. 32. 2. What is it? No, 30.

30. Years old. 2 years old. And 35. And 35. Normally, people do it in descending order. 35, 30. Oh, and then we just had one little 2-year-old.

Yeah, but it's disorienting. And you say 32 and 35. We don't know what to think. They are beautiful girls. Do you have a family? I'm hoping to start one soon. My wife, Patrice, is... Patrice?

Is a... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Patrice is...

Patrice? Patrice is... Patrice is Jack's sister. Well, really? Yeah, that's how we came to know each other. Not working at the lumberyard? Well, no. That's how I got the job.

Oh, lumberyard. The lumberyard. So your kids will be related? Yeah. They'll be cousins. That's fun, though. Right? Well, yeah, it's a really good job.

No, I mean, having kids that are... Well, we don't have kids yet. We're hoping to start a family soon. Best of luck. Thank you. Marjorie, my wife, is his sister. Well, so then you're really going to share a lot of DNA of those kids. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Patrice is... Patrice is and Mar... Wait, Jack's sister and Marjorie is my sister. Okay. Interesting. So how did you not know each other before?

We just had never crossed paths. And then once you did, it's sort of like... Well, I needed a job. So Jack was kind enough. We were having dinner. Even though you'd never met? No, we had met by this point. Oh, okay.

But just once before, and we were having dinner at my and Patrice's house, and Jack said, why don't you come on by? What were you doing before that? Like, what was your job before? Well, actually, I worked at Chipotle. Which I love. Oh, such a change. Do you like being outdoors more?

I was... I wanted to get outdoors. I was a manager at Chipotle, so I kind of walked away from a really solid job and... But it sounds like you didn't have anything to walk out to because you said you needed a job, so... Well, I just was looking for a change. Oh, I see. So Jack said, why don't you come on down?

And now he works there. He handles the pine, and the ply, and the luluan, and the derbies, the pinewood derby cars. Wait a minute. The pinewood... You guys make pinewood derby cars. For the Cub Scouts and stuff. Oh, okay.

And that's strictly under your purview? Yeah, I'm in charge of that. That's your ballet wick? I'm in charge. After a while, he showed that he was up to it, and I gave him the pinewood derby. You gave him the Scouts account? Gave him the big Scouts account. We make quite a few of those every year.

How many? 12. 12. Per year. But that's... I mean, they take a long time, I'm sure. Yeah, well, we focus on one per month because there are 12 months every year. So, as soon as the derby's over, you get right back in there and you start thinking...

Yeah, I'm doing other stuff concurrently. It's a good job. You know what's funny? This is a comedy program. I can tell you a funny story. Sure, I'd love to hear one, yeah. A customer came in and said, I want four 2x4s. They just needed four 2x4s?

Four of them. And you said... They were building a table. Right. And you said, what about an 8x16? Well, what's funny is that... It seems like they might come up short building a table, which is... That kind of pertains to the...

Oh, okay. I guess the humor of it is that the actual measurement of a 2x4 is a quarter inch shorter on each side. And so, it's technically a one and three-fourths by three and three-fourths. So, he... And so, I was like... You were like... Oh, sorry.

Why, vernacular. Yeah. This seems to be atypical of the way you usually talk. So, I told the fellow, are you sure you need exactly 2x4 or do you need one three-quarter, three and three-quarters? And then, Brian was there and he laughed and... It was funny. So, yeah.

Wait, and that's the end of the story? Well, it's a good lumber story. Yeah. If you're a lumber man... For a lumber story, it's good. If you're a lumber man, then... Yeah. Did he end up getting what he wanted or did he leave dissatisfied?

No, he left happy. Everyone always leaves happy from Carl's. That's what it says. Who is Carl again? My father. Your father. Okay. Which would be my...

Father-in-law. Father-in-law. Okay. And so, you'd known him for a while. Well, he passed on. Oh, okay. Sorry. The tree fell on him.

A tree fell on him? Well, it's a stack of lumber. It used to be a tree. So, a former tree fell on him. We call it trees, but it's for you guys, it's just lumber. Did he see it? Did we call paper trees? Yeah.

Bring down three trees, I'm just saying. Bring down the equivalent of three trees. Or like, that's like several thousand pencils. Yeah. Bring down all the trees and it's just this giant thing of a container filled with cars. That's, look... The Cub Scout cars. Oh, the Pinewood Derby cars.

You keep them all in a giant container. Yeah, we keep one tree's equivalent of Pinewood Derby cars per container. Okay, so maybe about four and a half cars. It's 4,000 cars per to make up one tree. Wait, once you're done with the cars, you keep them? We keep them. Yeah, we make 12 per year and we keep them. How many till 4,000?

We're selling 4,000 of the Boy Scouts in 20 years. Interesting. And also my math is off there, so it could be like 300 years. Really interesting operations back on there, down at Carl's. Also, we opened another sister store, it's Carl's Jr. It is. And what do you sell there? Lumber.

Oh, okay. It is. It's called Carl's Jr. It is called that? It's called Carl's Jr. It is? Yeah, it really is. I'm crying.

You're crying at the memory of Carl? No, yeah. But it's called Carl's Jr. Jack, Jack, are you okay? Jack! Oh my god, he's having a manic episodes. Wait, it was your dad that died? I thought it was your dad.

It was his father-in-law. Father-in-law. It was Jack's dad. Patrice's is father. Did you feel like you had said everything you had to say to him before he went? No. No, I did not. There was a lot left unsaid.

Father and son relationship is very complicated. Yeah. And I think... I think you would probably disagreed with him about adding that whole hamburgers to the Carl's Jr. Yes, he thought, if we're just going to sell lumber, people might confuse it with the Carl's Jr. hamburger shop. Right, right.

I said, but that's good. They'll come there. And then he goes, wanting burgers, they'll come there. I said, so we'll sell burgers too. And then it was right at that moment that he died. Yeah. After he had signed a contract. Yeah.

And then also there was this drama, he wanted 13 Pinewood cars made a year. And then me and Brian really, what? But he also had a crazy idea to change the Gregorian calendar to 13 months a year, right? He did, and he did it. He did it. Yeah, he was successful. Yeah. Yeah.

The Gregorian calendar that people still use is now 13 months. Yeah. Definitely. Because of Carl. This is Jr. The hamburgers. Oh, I should also say his last name was Jr. Right.

And so your last name is Jr. Right, Jack's Jr. Jr. Yes. Not just Jr, but Jr. SJUNIOR. Did Patrice's keep her maiden name? Or is she hyphenated?

No, she took my name. And what is your last name? No. Her name is Patrice's pieces. Patrice's pieces? Yeah. Okay. So Brian's pieces.

Do you want to know what my father's name was? Yeah, I'd love to hear it. Reese's. All right. This is a crazy family. Yeah. There's a lot. There's a lot here.

So a lot more going on than the last time Jack stopped by. A lot more drama. That is true. I guess we just really scratched the surface last time. Yeah, I can really see how this is coming to life here. You bring someone along, especially someone that's family. We get along very well. So things are bound to come up.

You guys ever have a fight or any kind of interpersonal conflicts? Sure, sure. How long have you known each other now? Fourteen years. Fourteen years. And in those 14 years, some things are bound to come up, I'm sure. Maybe describe like your biggest fight, your biggest blowout. Would it have been the force fire preparedness week we had to deal with?

Yeah. He slept with Marjorie. It was during force fire preparedness. I don't know why you would describe it, why that comes to mind. It's a big week for us. And it gets the blood going. Yeah, so I ended up sleeping with Marjorie, but we've definitely... That's your wife.

That is my wife. And your sister. It's my sister. Oh my God. Man, I just put that together. You guys are so great. You didn't even realize that? I thought that's why you were so mad.

No, I would have been more in awe or shocked than anything. Shock and awe. But I was mad because you slept with my wife. I didn't even realize. Yeah, the implications. How was it? It was, you know, it was my sister. So it was great.

Wait, that doesn't necessarily follow. Well, I mean, if you think about it, you think about, I'm going to sleep with someone and then you think about, oh, my sister, and you would just assume it would be great. And it was great. Okay, not sure I'd follow that. I guess it is. Yeah, it's a sibling thing.

But you guys patched it up, though. We were fine. How long ago was that? We patched her up. How long ago did that happen? Six days ago? Six. Yeah, Forest Fire prevention week was, yeah, six days ago.

It was last week. Yeah, it was last week. You guys might be in a little bit of shock. I mean, I feel like you've been through things I can't even imagine. You watch your dad get hit by lumber and die. You opened a new company. You watched this man have sex with your wife, his sister. You watched, right?

You liked sex with your sister. I had to watch. But, you know, you did sleep with Patrice. I did. Wait a minute. Patrice's? I call her Patrice. But yeah, Patrice.

Your sister? Yeah. I just realized that. Oh, my God. You really aren't putting together the familial connections. Yeah, that we commit incest. That's heavy. I thought you knew that.

I thought that's why this was all so weird. Have you guys seen Game of Thrones? Yeah, what? Did you like it? I did. I liked Game of Thrones very much. I like a lot. Sunday night for me just belongs to HBO.

Just put me in front of a TV and put HBO on and I'm there. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to hear my Sharona parody song about Game of Thrones? Sure. Yeah. Jack, you're my moon and stars. My moon and stars. My, my, my, Khaleesi.

Good. Now, that's, you're still Jack, right? Yes. So, did you guys feel like you super related to a lot of themes in it? Why, I didn't really pick up on any themes. I have a question. Why didn't, why, why didn't you guys just marry your own sisters? It sounds like you, that's what you really wanted to do.

Yeah. It's illegal. It's solely the only reason. So. But you're still committing. Is that illegal to have sex with your sister? Yes, as we found out. Oh, wait.

You both found out? Yes. You got arrested? Yes. Who did? Well, we, when it happened, we each called the police on the other one. Was it happening at the same time? Same room.

Same room. And you were both on the phone at the same time calling the police. Yeah. While we were fucking our sisters. Making love. Did that add to the. Sorry, Jack, sorry about my language. Yeah.

I'm still. It's your sister. It's my wife we were talking about. You make love to your wife. You fuck your sister. I'll give you that. It was six days ago. Six days ago.

The police came and then what happened, you guys? They arrested you. They put us into a cell together down at County. Were the sisters involved? Were they arrested too? Were they in the cell? They ran. And we still have not seen them.

Really? Yeah. So they're just out there somewhere. Yeah. Do they have their clothes with them? They have their clothes and we have our money stashed buried. Wait. Hold on.

He said we have our money stashed buried. What's that? Yeah. How does one stash bury something? Where you stash it by burying it. Oh, I see. So they know where that stash bury is? That reminds me we should break out that stash bury pie.

Yeah. I have it. Okay. Break it out. That looks good. All right. So while we eat the stash bury pie, anything else? I hope the court case goes well for you guys.

Do you have an arraignment date yet? Well, we're suing each other. Oh, so it's a civil case. You're very calm. You seem pretty like... Well, we have a lumber store to run. Right. So...

Were the other employees shocked at what transpired? Or have they heard about it? Are there other employees? No. It's just us. Oh, my God. That sounds like so claustrophobic. You got me and HR.

Hold on. You got him and the pine puts. That's it. This operation sounds strange. You are there hiring and firing people and doing payroll. It seems like your only responsibilities are three types of wood and then making these cars. I make cars and I deal with the trees, which is just lumber or cars.

Put it into boxes or stacks. Right, right. We got this description. And it's an outdoor store, you were saying. Yeah. Well, I work the forklift. I don't know how to work it very well. Okay.

I'm still learning. Okay. But I have to organize and stack all of the trees. So why did you... Obviously you needed help at the store. Did this happen when Carl died? Is he taking Carl's place? Well, no one works at Carl's Junior.

Really? We're both at Carl's. So no one is there making the flip in the burgers? Well, there aren't any hamburgers. That's just the name of the place. Well, there was a brief period where we sold burgers, but that didn't work out. So no one's there. Is the store open?

It is open. No one works. Yeah, I mean, you could go there right now if you want. We put it on a jar. Oh, it's like the honor system? Yeah. Wow, guys. Well, a couple of interesting characters here.

Thank you. Should we come out? Come out? Should we come out of it? Oh, meaning should the men inside your bodies, who are telling you what to do, should you come out and... Okay, yeah, sure. Just give us two knocks on the table and we're out.

Okay, so do they need to be successive knocks or can they...? Or do we need... Should we exit the room? Yeah, we did it. Okay, sorry. Yeah, we're gonna exit first. We're gonna get out of here. It was nice to meet you guys.

Oh, dead owl. Nice to meet you, Brian. Um, PCs. And best of luck with your lawsuit and your grieving and... Thank you. ...your companies. Thank you. All right, stand up.

Walk out. Creek. Slam. Hey. Hey, guys. Oh, wow. It's Adam. I'm back.

Hey, guys. It's Harris. Woof. Woof. Boy, that was some intense scene work. That was verbatim the show that we used to put up in Chicago. Yeah, I mean, a lot of people may not have realized this, but you gave me a script. And I shared it with Chelsea.

Yeah. Good job, you guys. Yeah, we got really close there for a little bit because you were reading over my shoulder. Yes. And in Chicago, yeah, she was played by Sharna Halpern when we were in Chicago. Yeah, and who played my character in Chicago? Who was it? Oh, it was James Lipton.

Yeah. Oh, that guy. Um, that's fantastic, and that's as long as the show is, right? Yeah. We do it at 8 a.m. Thursday through Sunday. And what kind of reception would this receive? Well, I mean, overwhelmingly, there weren't many people there. On Thursday mornings, it was tough to get people to come in because people had to go

to work and stuff. And same with Fridays. And then weekends, I guess people just didn't want to come. Are you shitting? Well, thanks, guys. Yeah, thanks for letting us do that here. Yeah, it was good to kind of get that out again. Should we do another poll about what people thought about?

Yeah, let's get another poll going on. So, if you want to hear these two guys return, go to earwolf.com. If you want to hear these guys return, vote yes. I want Harris. No, sorry. Yes, I want Jack. What was your last name again? Oh, Junior.

Jack. Shit, Jack. Shit, Junior. Shit, Junior. Well, because my dad's name was Carl. Carl, Junior. Yeah. So, Jack, Junior.

Yeah. If you want Jack, Junior, and Brian, pieces. Pieces. Pieces. Sorry. He put a little flair to it. If you want them to come back on the show, vote yes. And if you want Harris never to return, vote no.

Adam's cool. And let's take a break. And when we come back, Chelsea, you have some exciting news. Yes. Okay, I'm just going to tease that. Let's go to a song. When we come back, we'll get to what Chelsea wants to talk about. This is Comedy Bang Bang.

This one goes out from the bottom of our hearts to the most important lady in our lives. It's time to pay some respect. I hope you're proud of us, because we're proud of you. Mama. You raised me right. Mama. Show me the light. Mama.

To a painted strife. Mama. You gave us life. When I fell down, you were there to pick me up. When I fell bad, you were there to build me up. You gave everything you had in the world to me. And you made me the man I'm supposed to be. Jane, even though I don't say it often enough, I appreciate everything you did for us.

Never take it for granted, cause it ain't hard to see the best parts of you in our part of me. Mama. And when I was cold outside, you kept us warm and held us tight. Hi boys, who wants to sit? Mom, get out of the studio. Check it out, my God. You're making a track. You idiot.

Just leave. Go. Go. You suck, mom. You're my one true love, my heart, my mom. Showing respect in the form of this song. So when life gets harder, it makes you cry. I'll always be there to wipe a differently ride.

Mama's my number one fan, my best friend. And I'll never disrespect you. Mom. I know you said you weren't hungry, but I made ants on a log. Get the fuck out. Here we go. How's your little club going? It's not a club.

It's a rap club. I don't believe he's here anyway. I need him if he's here. What the hell, mom? She's an angel on earth with invisible wings. I put no one above it. I'm going to her spring on fire. Have I seen the remote?

Hey, guys, I love you. Fuck you. Hey, guys, I love you. I don't give a fucking guy. Dab in front of a bone. Let it pick a day in my mind. You got to go with boys, cause she will never see a home. Never mind, I found.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm going to pass the remote to Ansel. All right. Everything OK? Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Hey, be nice to them.

Fuck them. I can't believe you have sex with that guy. Something burning down there. Get the fuck out now. Hey, it's the world famous Scott about reminding you to head on over to yourwolf.com and check out everything we have going over there. One thing of interest over there is the earwolf live app, which you can download to your smart phones. You know, those phones of yours that are incrementally smarter than the last phones they put out.

What it does is you enter your zip code and then it will tell you when any of our wonderful earwolf.com roster of people, guests such as Paul F. Tompkins or Doug Benson, anytime they're performing near you, it'll give you an alert of some sort. So head on over to that, check it out, and I'll see you at the movies. All right, Comedy Bang Bang, we are back and we're here with our Parks and Recreation special. I think truly honoring the show Parks and Recreation with what we've been doing this episode.

If you've enjoyed this show today, then you'd enjoy Parks and Rec. I think it's kind of the same tone, right? Pretty much. Identical. Yeah, that was actually, there was a hidden couple of spoilers in that. Oh, really? So people should rewind? Yep.

Be very kind. Yeah. All right, so our guests, of course, are Adam Scott and Harris Whittles. They were just treating us with some of their scene work. And speaking of scene work, I looked to my left and Chelsea Chazpalmenteri Paredi is here and she has a surprise announcement. You're about to do something you were telling me you have never done on the show before. Yeah, I haven't.

And I just kind of wanted to spread my wings, you know. I'm always looking to grow and challenge myself and kind of, you know, just bring new stuff to each new day. So you're returning to your first love, the theater. And what I've done is I'm just trying to assemble a series of characters that, you know, like any talented person I can go on the road and do a one-woman show and kind of, you know, lattice work. Lattice work.

Now, Adam, you're an actor. Lattice work these characters together into a stage piece. Sure. That's uncommon. Well, we all know what grows on lattice. So, all right, Chelsea. So anyhow, what I thought I would do is just give you guys a little taste and some of this little give and take to it.

Give and take in what respect? Well, I might need you to prompt a character, for example, with a question or two. And then, you know, I'd love to just get your honest feedback. I'm open to grow. After each one or after the... Yeah, each one. They're kind of just little tastes. Okay, so let us dip our beak into...

Yes. Yes. A lot of beak dipping. So this character... This character, I don't have a name for her yet. It could be Rosa. An ethnic type character, do you? Yeah, but she's the curious Latina.

Okay. She's a curious Latina. You might see her out and about in maybe a New York City street. Okay. What'd you say? Now, when do you start doing this character? Was that it? Oh, wait.

That was it. That's her. Also, she's curious about what... I think the title of the character was 100% accurate. Yeah. Is that her just walking down the street and you just hear a fragment of a conversation? Yeah, like, maybe it's better and, you know, I wasn't developing it for this medium, but maybe it's better if I get off the mic a little more so you feel...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Try it again. Let's see some of the physicality of... What'd you say? Yeah, bad. Yeah, that helped a lot. So, Adam, as an actor yourself, as one of America's finest actors, you've done drama, you've done comedy, you've done some roles that have a little bit of both, I'd notice.

I've done stage work and... Stage work, sure. And film and TV and stuff. And TV. I have to say, Chelsea, when you stood up and kind of projected up to the ceiling, I started thinking like, oh, is she yelling up like a brownstone to her friend that's up there on the windowsill and they're having a conversation? There's an actor's term for that when you yell up to an imaginary ceiling.

An imaginary brownstone. Yeah. But I'm... Fortune shoot. Fortune shoot, right, yeah. So, you were fortune shooting... But what is it... What's the term when you're yelling to an imaginary brownstone?

In a theater piece. Yeah, browning fortune. Very closely linked. I was doing that. Yeah. Yeah, you browned the fuck out of that fortune. That was great. Thank you.

That's some good stuff. That was really good. Anything else, or is that the only particular piece of information that she's missing? Oh, God. What is this? You didn't do the stand-up method. Yeah, you should definitely... Brownstone.

Browning fortune. You got a browning fortune that. What is this? Oh, so maybe now Rosa is mad at a boyfriend? Like, what is this? Or is she holding up an item? I could do something mad with a girlfriend. That's interesting.

Who is this? Who is this? Who is this? What is this? Who is this? That's great. What if she doesn't know where something is? What kind of thing would she say?

Where's the thing? Okay, well, interesting. She also doesn't even know what it is she's looking for. Yeah. Where's the thingy? All right. Where do you put the thingy? What if she doesn't know why she's looking for it?

Why am I looking for this thingy? Really? She's asking someone else. Opening her up. What if she can't even see when she's saying it? Because it's so dark. Oh, why is it so dark in here? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What else do you want her to do? Spot on. You got any other requests? Well, she's... She's hungry. Yeah.

Why I'm so hungry. Oh, she doesn't even know why she's hungry. It's because she hasn't eaten in a while. She's out of touch with her body. She's just always searching. And that's why I kind of... Does she ever make statements? That's a character that I relate to.

It's hot in here. Oh, the one statement. Yeah. All right. Well, maybe we've spent enough time with that character. Okay. I have some other ones. Okay.

I have a... This one is a vegetarian robot. Vegetarian robot. Sure. Yeah. Let's hear it. I don't eat meat. Thank you.

Uh-huh. Definitely vegetarian. Definitely a robot. I don't eat meat. I don't eat meat. Huh. Great. What would happen if you put a little piece of ground chuck into the receiving...

Whatever it is. What do you mean the robot hole? The robot hole. The robot hole. I love that. Well, that's... I mean, wouldn't... Robot hole.

The robot hole. The robot hole. That wouldn't count as eating meat. I feel like... You don't... I think anytime you put anything into any part of your body, it's eating it. Yeah. No, that's crazy.

Do you eat a dick when someone's having sex with your butt? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. All right. Anything else on the list? Yeah.

Well, are you trying to round it up? Wrap it up? No, no. Wait. Yes. You want to go back to the... I just wanted to know what would happen if you put a piece of ground chuck into... Well, I think you asked this already.

No, but I wanted to... I wanted to just see what would happen. Oh, you want to see it so you have a piece of... Oh. You have a piece with you? No. In the robot's butt or in its mouth? Well, let's see if...

Okay, let's say the robot's mouth. What if I put a piece of ground chuck in there? I feel like it would just be like probably redundantly freak out just like, meat, meat, meat, meat. And then there would be like sizzling and snapping sounds. It cooks with meat? Yeah. It's like a George Foreman grill?

Yeah. Wow. Sizzling. This sounds delicious. Yeah. And then it spits it back out at you? Yeah. And then it goes back to its catchphrase of just,

I don't eat meat. So this is like a sentient George Foreman grill who hates its own nature? That's right. It's a vegetarian meat grill. This sounds really dramatic and really like it's full of pathos. Yeah. Yeah. This is a great character.

Yeah. This is the type of character that an actor dreams of playing. Yeah. Because of the conflicts within him or her. And that's what's great about being a writer is that you can get in there and kind of roll up your sleeves and write yourself a great, great part. Jesus. All right, so what's next on the list?

What do we got? Let's see. Okay. So this one is, I'm a woman who thinks everything is interesting. So this one, I do need you guys to tell me some stuff. Okay. Just conversational. Maybe we're on a bus together.

Okay. Hey, you know, they raised the fare the other day, 25 cents. Okay. That's interesting. They did raise the rate at the Arclight parking garage. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. That's, I didn't know that and that's interesting. But you know that the, I've noticed that the Arclight started charging a lot for movies about seven, eight years ago. And everyone, now it seems like everyone else has followed suit. Yeah. You know, I noticed it when they, when they first opened. Interesting.

Yeah. What? I wasn't that interesting. Judging there. I guess it can be uninteresting enough. You were marinating on that one and not ready to give it up. Even the character that thinks everything's interesting. That would have passed.

I didn't think that was interesting. No, that is interesting. Yeah, thanks. She's generous at least. No, seriously though, that is interesting. She's got a generous heart. What would this character sound like talking to Jack Jr. and Brian Pieces? Hmm.

We take you to the conversation. So, you know, a two by four actually. As a quarter inch less on each end. Okay. I didn't, I did not know that and that is interesting. You know, I sometimes have to move an entire stack of wood from one end of the lumbar yard to the other with one of, with a really small forklift. Hmm.

Oh. Man. Boy, neither Adam nor Brian. No, Adam and Brian are both striking out. Two sides of the same coin. No guys, for real, for real. I thought you'd think that was funnier. Good stuff.

All right. Let's get out of character. All right. Chelsea, do you have, do you have something else here? Stand up. Walk out. Slam. All right.

You're very committed. Hey guys. It's Adam and Harris. Okay. They're back. All right. It's so hot in here, huh? Who is that?

That's just this girl who always feels hot. All right. So another character. I'm doing a character right now also. Mm-hmm. Right now? Yeah. Um, no, this is it.

That's it. Wait. That last one was it? No. No, I'll do one last one. Don't bail. Don't bail on this. No, you're right.

You're right. I won't. I won't. It's, there's, this last one's going to be great. All right. Here we go. Last character. Chelsea, Chaz Palmetieri, Peretti.

Okay. This lady works constantly. Like, works so many different jobs, right? So it's a matter of just where does she find the time for sleep? And she doesn't. She's constantly tired, you know. So how many, about how many jobs does she work? Two to three at any given time.

So, and she has a need for, she has a family to support. Mm-hmm. And a need for a lot of paychecks. Right. And she, and so this keeps her up most of the day and night. Yeah, you know, it's, she's one of those people, one of those crazy characters that you encounter in life who just, you know. She has it a little worse off than most of us.

Yeah. She subsists on four hours sleep at night. Mm-hmm. Well, a lot of us have been there. I'm sure a lot of people listening are in the same position. Yeah. And they're listening to the show because they're at work and they're at one of their many jobs. Mm-hmm.

And so they can probably relate to this character more than any of the ones that you've done previously. Yeah. It's, you know, it's a, it's a generous character that I do. Okay. Great. I'd love to hear it. Okay.

So, it's called Tired Lady. Mm-hmm. Oh! Okay. Mm-hmm. Hold up. It's kind of Chewbacca-y. Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up.

Oh, okay. You need to reset? Hold up, hold up, hold up. That's like another character in the meantime. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Hold up, hold up, hold up. Hold up, hold up.

Hold up. I like this. This guy's friends with Snoop. Hold up, hold up. Snoop. Hold up. Sangin' hell yeah for my vehicle. Yeah.

That's great, Harris. Thank you. All right. So, reset. Tired lady. Oh! A lot of people are going to relate to it. Don't do it yet.

Oh, okay. You've got to set it up properly. A lot of people are going to relate to this. Yeah. The working class. Finger to the bone type employee. Mm-hmm. You know, it gives it always 110%.

That's great of her because a lot of people, if they're juggling two to three jobs, as you say, they would maybe half-ass. Phone it in, yeah. Yeah, they'd phone it in. Yeah. This woman, not so with this woman. Okay. Great.

Oh. Hi. You must be so tired. Oh. I'm going to hit the hay. Was that, that's one of your jobs? You bail hay? Yes.

And then I'm tired. I'll probably try to get some sleep. Are you tired now? What? Are you tired now? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You probably have to get to work pretty soon.

Yeah, I'm just going to try to get like three hours. Of work? You're going to try to get four hours of sleep. This is like recessionary way to the docks and hope to get three hours of work. Oh, I'm so sorry. I think I'm so tired. I've been, well, what time is it? It's 3 a.m.

Oh, shit. Mm-hmm. Oh, I'm supposed to be at my other job. I came to the wrong job. Wait, this is the wrong job? Came to the hay barn. You have to hit hay right now, but you're supposed to be, where are you supposed to be? In the dormitory.

I'm on RA. That doesn't seem like the kind of job that would make you all that tired. So, wait, you're an RA at the dormitory. You pitch bales of hay at a farm, I take it. I'm a contractor. A contractor. I'm also a contractor. What type of contractor?

A home contractor? Okay. Yeah. So, I've been up since 6. I've been, oh, just, it never ends. You were up since 6, and then what time did you go to bed? What time did you go to bed? You said you were up at 6.

I haven't yet. That's why I'm so tired. You've never been to bed? No. Wait a minute. No. That's why you're so tired. I'm like, delirious.

You've ever been so tired to where you're just like delirious. Is that why you work so many jobs? Because you never go to sleep? No, I like the feeling of delirium. Wow. And I have eight children, and I need to... Oh, my God. Yeah.

That's exhausting in and of itself. You're telling me, kiddo. You're telling me. Anyway, I am very, it's very nice to meet you all. Really? Yeah. Where are you off to? You didn't spend a lot of time with us.

What? Where are you off to? My God, I tried to sleep in my car for 10 minutes. But you don't like sleeping. I just want 10 minutes of shut-eye. But you've never done it. I don't get cranky with me. Well, I'm so insisting on very little sleep, okay?

You say you've never done no sleep. I'm trying. You find ups at six. I mean, I don't get cranky with me. Well, I'm so insisting on very little sleep, okay? I'm trying. You find ups at six. I mean, I guess you were born at six.

6 a.m., you were born, and then you've never slept, and yet you're still going to try to get 10 minutes. I mean, I just need like a little 10 minutes. You need like 14 hours. You need to be hospitalized. You need to be institutionalized. No, no, no, no, no. No.

No. I just need a little cat nap. A little disco nap. Mm-hmm. All right, well, it's very nice to meet you. I know you said that to me, but I just wanted to kind of echo that back. What is this place?

Oh, this is a disco. A lot of people take a naps. Here, you could take one if you wanted to. This is the disco nap room. Oh, how many hours sleep do you all get a night? I usually get probably around 23. 22. That's crazy.

I've never slept. What? Oh, my God. You seem to think she was kind of late. How are you not constantly yawning? I'm just not tired. Yeah, you were... You were a machine.

Well, yes, I am literally a machine. Wait a minute, are you a robot? Are you a robot? Do you eat meat? Well, I'm an android. I do not eat meat. Really? I have someone that you should meet.

I don't eat meat. Pardon the pun, but you should meet her. I don't eat meat. No, but you should meet her, meaning you should be introduced to her. Who? This robot, I know, who doesn't eat meat. You know another robot? I know a robot who doesn't eat meat.

Yeah, we should, in fact... Claire? I'll see you guys later when I take off. Okay, we'll see you later. Claire? Claire, are you around? Can you come in here, Claire? Yes.

Hey, what was your name, sir? Persephone. I know we've run this disco for the last, since 1977. Yeah, we've never even... Hi, Persephone. Hey. What's your name? I am the muse, Cheryl.

Excellent, okay. And that's a guy's name, too. Okay, yeah. Well, so is Persephone. Yeah. So... What about Persephone? Wait a minute, are you still...

Cheryl? So the tired lady that said that came back in. So Persephone, I want you to meet Cheryl, because you... Hi. Ever since 1977, you've talked to me about your quest to find love and your robot. Yeah. And you're a robot, Cheryl. Yes.

And it seems like you have a lot in common. I know that's not necessarily the basis for... What are your interests? Well, first of all, I do not eat meat. I don't eat meat. You don't eat meat? They'll sound like anti-interests, though. That's what you're not interested in.

Well, no, it's... Yes, what do you love? I love all sorts of things that have nothing to do with meat. I don't eat meat. Do you chew gum? Sure, as long as it's not hamburger gum. I'll chew it. Just chew that right into the microphone.

Do you always talk like this? Yes. Because I'm a robot, too, and I just talk like a person. This disco sucks, man. Hey, sir, please. We're not open yet. I'm talking out of here. This is the middle of the day.

People are taking naps. Yeah, come on, man. Please. Please leave through that egress, if you will. Stay in line. Oh, did I leave? Yeah. See, you don't even know if you left or not.

You are so tired. Please. Like, what are the college kids doing at the dormitory? What are they up to? You're stumbling around in days. What are they doing? Really, you know, your responsibility, you should be watching them.

I do. I do, and I am. Persephone? Do you mind showing this young lady the door? Yeah, sure. Right this way. Hey, what's up? No, we're not open, sir.

We're not open. Sir, just stand outside. We'll be open in about 15 hours. You look tired, lady. Let's go get some pancakes. All right. Oh, yeah, I will. Come back in 15 hours.

We'll be open. All right. Enough time to take this. Do you have a request? I can tell the DJ? Yeah, it's probably like staying alive. Stay alive, really? Yeah.

What's your name? Let me see if he has that one. Hold on. Let me talk to the DJ. Hey, Almedeus. Yeah. Hey, I know we're at disco and all, but we got a request from a customer who's going to be here in about 15 hours when your shift starts.

All right. Thanks for coming in early, by the way. No problemo. By the way, thanks for learning English for this job, too. I know you slip back into Spanish every once in a while, but I appreciate just your ESL skills. No problemo. So, I know this is kind of a weird request, but do you have the record staying alive?

Staying alive by who, sir? Yeah, by the who. Staying alive by the who? Their cover of Staying Alive? The VG song? Let me check. Okay. Are we not getting pancakes?

We'll get pancakes. Get back in the car. Come on. The way he talks to her. They just met. Hey. Yes, Almedeus. We never met.

What's your name? My name is Mew Cheryl. Yeah, Mew Cheryl. I got that right here. What do you say? Well, you have the who's cover of Staying Alive? I got it right here. You want to hear it?

I would love to hear it. Here we go. Here we go. All right. Good-bye to all our characters. You ready to play it? Let's play this. Needle drop and...

Wow, that was good. Yeah, you're welcome. All right. Well, should we leave this to school? Let's go get some pancakes. With these two guys? Hey, you're going to get pancakes. You guys got room in that car?

Hey, it's a car, man. If you don't mind, I'd like to sit in the back seat with this tired little lady right here. You got it, man. Hey, if you don't mind, I'd love to sit... Shotgun, red shotgun with you. I love it. I love it, everything. Can you drop me at the dorm after?

After pancakes. Oh, gosh. At the dorm? What are you, an RA or something? Yeah. Really? Do you mind dropping me at the lumber yard? I need to get a hamburger.

I eat a lot of meat. I don't eat pancakes. I don't eat non-meat. By the way, I don't eat meat. Hey, you're here. Get in the car. Yeah, I'm here. Get in the car.

Oh, wait. You are the car. I am the car. You're both the car. Come on. Let's jump into Cheryl and go to the pancakes. All right. Well, guys, that was a great scene.

I'm going to call an end to it here. All right. All right. Good stuff. Good stuff. I believe that's the end of our show. Oh, my gosh. You can call it that.

You can call it that if you want. I think we did it. Can you believe it? What if after this we all looked and we had zero followers on Twitter? I know. I got a feeling the message boards on this are going to really hurt my feelings. Be kind to us, guys. It's late at night.

It is really late. It's literally a thousand degrees in here, guys. So if you want to take that into account, please do. I think we only have one last thing that we can do, which is the What's Up Hot Dog Memorial Plug Section. Time for the best part of the show. You know, ladies and gentlemen, every time I listen to the show, I think,

why are they wasting their fucking time on this bullshit? The language. Just get to the plugs. I just want to hear those plugs. I want to hear those plugs. Oh, hot sauce in here, please. Let me hear those plugs. I'm waiting for the whole dog show just to hear some plugs.

Let me hear what these people have to plug. Please let me hear your plugs. All right. That is Let Me Hear Those Plugs by Foam Corner, which I think is an apropo choice for this week's show. And let's do this round robin style. What do you say? Let's go round the horn.

Chelsea, what do you have to plug? Oh, my God. Anything with Parks and Rec coming up? Of course, this show is honoring Parks and Rec. This is a fitting tribute, I think. And you have any stand updates coming up? Oh, man. I wasn't anticipating this portion.

I'm sorry. If you don't have anything you want people to see, that's okay. I will be. I'm going to be at Town Hall in New York, headlining a show there. Never. Never? Okay, good.

All right. All right, Harris, what do you have? I'll go ahead and give my plug over to Parks and Rec. I'll say Parks and Rec. And also Analyze Fish, right? Oh, Analyze Fish. If you haven't heard Analyze Fish. I haven't heard it yet.

It's out. It's out. It's on the Europe site. And I think that there's going to be another installment that we'll do. Basically, what happened was we taped the first one a little while ago, and then our plan was we were going to do another, an episode two, and then episode three was I was going to go to the fish concert with you. Right, that did not happen.

That did not, none of that happened. No. And we have yet to tape episode two. Why didn't you go? Yeah, I invited him. Was there a recent fish show? Yeah, at the Hollywood Bowl last Monday. When, isn't there a recent fish show?

That is true. Was it awesome? Yeah, it was great. He's wearing the shirt right now. It was a classic show. Well, this is from Miami New Years. We'll talk later about this. When is the next show in case I want to go to that one?

Denver Labor Day weekend. Are you going? I'm a bumbershoot that weekend. When's the one after that that I could go to with you? I don't know. I mean, we'd have to go on tour. We'd have to fly somewhere. We could fly somewhere.

If there are enough fans at the show who want us to fly somewhere, donate to Ear Wolf under, I don't know where, but just earmark it as you want us to fly to fish. Yeah. And listen to that show. It's basically, if you haven't heard it yet, it's where Harris tries to get me to like the band Fish, and I do not.

Not yet. And Adam, what do you like to plug? Parks and Rec starts September 22nd. Great night. I'm in Our Idiot Brother that opens... August 26th, Our Idiot Brother, and Parks and Rec comes out September... 22nd or 4th.

It's the 22nd? That's the Thursday? Okay. 22nd, and I have nothing to plug other than Analyze Fish. I want everyone to get out there and listen to it and give your opinions on it. And that's it, guys. Thank you so much for coming out here tonight.

Thanks, Hot Tosserman. Appreciate your great scene work. Would you say, guys, that this is the show if you want to be an actor in Hollywood to listen to? Absolutely. All right, guys. We will see you next week. Thanks for listening.

Bye. Bye, everyone. This has been an Ear Wolf media production. Executive producers Jeff Ulrich and Scott Ockerman. For more information, visit EarWolf.com. EarWolfRadioBoom.com. The Wolf Dead. Want to hear Ear Wolf pilots before anybody else?

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