Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Andy Richter, Vic Michaelis, Alex Fernie

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

Andy Richter returns to talk to Scott about raising a child, his favorite cartoon character, and how he approaches interviewing a guest on his podcast The Three Questions. Then, teen foreman Susie Tewman returns to talk about issues with her non-union construction crew and having to choose between her crush and her best friend. Plus, viral guru Daniel Kolodjiez stops by to talk about how to go viral.

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directed something. He's in the DGA. And let's, let me take a look at what he directed shorts to promote going to movies. No, not short. Just commercial. Long. Commercial. Yes. Fucking Christ. All right. Well, we'll talk to him anyway. We'll hear about these commercials that he Should I just apologize up front? Yeah, sure. I appreciate it. I wish I was sure. Guess we'd do that.

I am so sorry that you don't have someone young and not as dumb full of cull. For. I mean, you have a cull. Yeah, but it is, it is you do not want it. Not this. It's a very backed up for about 30 years. You know, I'm sorry. Yes, no, I appreciate that. And you know what, you were a TV star at one point. And, but we can't even talk about that in the strike.

Oh, that's right. Because then someone will go look up. Some of it. Someone will go watch an old episode of Conan will discover the monetize what? Conan. Wow. Um, you know him from his podcasts. What is this? The Ten Commandments? What a oh my God.

You know what it is. You know what it is. What is you just reciting the Ten Commandments? Yeah. If you single episode, that will not come out. That will neighbors wife. That will not skip this better help. Add. Uh, no, his show is, I know it's a number.

The three questions, the three mother questions. That's right. Uh, with Andy Richter, please wear a guest on it. I was. Yeah. You asked me a lovely conversation. You asked me between two and four questions as I recall. Yeah, yeah, I did Please welcome the shifty on all I was a very

Please welcome the titular Andy Richter. Hello Feel to be titular hot Perky Perth Pouting Welcome back to the powder buzzing. are powdering bosoms? I've never understood that. I know, one powder. I guess the nipples are frowning a little bit.

Maybe that would be like weird boobs, I would think, would be powdering. What's the weirdest set you've ever seen, Andy? This is a man what men talk about on podcasts. Kid in high school had ridiculously puffy nipples. Huh. Just they were, it was like half a strawberry. Interesting. Yeah.

Which is really weird. Oh my God. I don't know. Brighter left. Wouldn't it be the same? Oh, you mean, or like how you would... No, I'm the top half bottom half. Oh, are you cutting strawberries? Yes, yes, yes. Look at Luna ticker you. That's how I would always cut strawberries. No, you can't.

Oh, okay, if you're cutting the top off first. Yes. Okay, but I'm assuming this guy had ahead. But there was there was a little green tough on the top of each nipple. Oh, really? Yeah. So that's why I'm saying lengthwise cutting. No, yeah, big puffy nipples, weird puffy nipples. Was it puffy? By the way, puffed out of himself. It was not. No, it was not. Oh, it was not Oh, he is now love by the way what he's changed to love this is news to me my wife was just working on a possible

video Because she works in the music video industry and booming thriving industry. That's why she's looking elsewhere But he was puffy, but now is love. And so every email that she got about this project, love says this and love would like to do this. So this is reminding me of Van Halen because he's changed his name so many times. Just like Van Halen was like, you know what?

We got a new singer and it worked out even better for them. And then they were like, no, we're back with the old one. And the next time they changed it to Gary Sharon, uh-uh, everyone went, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's what's happening with love, I believe. One too many. One too many. Yeah.

But speaking one too many, there is not one too many episodes of your show, the three questions. In fact, I would take many, many more. Hundreds more. Oh, thank you. How many of you done? I don't know. How long have you been doing about four or five years? Four or five years. I want to see you in approximately 200 episodes.

I would guess I'm going to look this up for you because I want you. I know you're going to be doing a lot of. You can pull this up to or whoever it is that pulls it up. Yeah. You don't do this. I don't do this. No. Of course, I have a full staff here working on the show for me. And let's see, you're up to, you don't even number them. It's just August 7th with Andrew Rannels. I don't know from the comedy bang bang television show, of course.

Oh, can't talk about that. But if you're listening to this, I bet you watched at least one. to look it up from the comedy bang bang television show, of course. Oh, can't talk about that. But if you're listening to this, I bet you watched at least one episode. Oh, here's some people also ask, why did Andy quit Conan? Let's check it out. I was checking that up. Richter left his post at late night in 2000 to pursue a career acting in films and television. Oh boy. Is Andy Richter really a quintuplet? vision. Oh boy. Is Andy Richter really a quintuplet? Yes, I am. Was Andy Richter on the Brady bunch? Yes, I was. How long was Andy Richter on Conan? These are good sensible questions.

Yeah, how much did NBC pay Conan to leave? To leave 45 million. Get get outta here. Was that a 45 for the entire show that he distributed or was that a pure, just straight to car 45? I don't know, I had no idea, because it's my every number you see on the internet is, it's always like bullshit. It's much too low. Absolutely. Are, are Conan and Andy really friends?

Yes. Are Jey Leno and Conan friends? No. How much did Conan get from serious? I think a tens to $1. This has $150. This has $150. That's insane.

Yeah, but I think that was for everything. I can't even believe that was for everything. How much did Sirius pay for Conan? Well, these are all about questions about you supposedly. Yeah, yeah. How much does that shows you, that shows you again, the top notch booking, because people's interest in me is deep.

How much does a serious host make? A serious host. Hello, hello, I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has serious XM ever made a profit? How much does, how much does, how much does it listen to profitable thing? How's the serious pay per play?

Sirius XM satellite radio is known for paying artists upwards of $44 US per play. A significant amount compared to the minuscule royalties paid up by top streaming services such as Apple Music and Spotify or through regular radio programming. Oh, that's good to know. 44 dollars. It makes me feel better. I took 44 dollars.

I do. I just got it in my, I got a new car for the first time in 14 years, I believe. Oh, because my car I never drive. So for the first time in 14 years, I believe. Oh, because my car I never drive so it had 50,000 miles on it, right? But it just I started going like I would like a backup cam, you know, like that like it's it's weird to buy and backup cams Now are like every every tiny little Econo box has a backup cam. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about tiny little economy boxes. Oh never, never heard of it. You know, like a Chevy Avejo. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Are you a car guy like Jay Leno was? I used, no, not like Jay Leno was. I assume he doesn't drive cars anymore after you got horribly disfigured

while driving. No, he still does. What? Yeah, he still. I would. If anything, if I ever had a nested. And it wasn't driving. What was it? It was something ignited. Yeah. The gas fumes under a car ignited, torching his face. Like I broke my ankle playing pickleball.

I will never play it again. Really? Yeah. And this guy's underneath cars still. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think he likes that movie cars? Is he like, that's a perfect the world. Well, cars can talk to you. You know, oddly enough, he loves ants. The movie ants. Yeah, yeah, do you think he likes that movie cars? Is he like that's a perfect the world? Well cars can talk to you.

You know, oddly enough, he loves ants. The movie ants. Yeah, no one likes that. No one likes that one. I'm in the end here. That's my attempt at a Woody Allen. Kids love Woody Allen. But so you're not a car guy.

I used to be more of a car guy, but in the same way that, you know, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, somebody might be into purses or shoes, you know, it was just, I was, and I do, I mean, I appreciate the function of them, and I like that. But as time went on, and I had children that were like puking in cars, I realized, I don't need to spend fancy car money and then to the planet dying, I kind of have more of an emphasis towards high mileage and low emissions and that's not fun. Unlike your children, they're emissions, they're apparently they're puking in cars every

week. You know how it is, like your kid isn't spewing some kind of fluid. The one time that we took our child on the first trip we ever took of like, and it was approximately at 90 minute car ride. Five minutes before we reached destination. Pukes City! Absolutely. Everywhere. My, yeah, my, my son threw up down, my ex-wife's back my son threw up down my ex-wife's back approximately an hour into the flight to Rome. Fully soaking. Just absolute puke water. Wind in Rome. Wind in Rome. Get puke down.

And of course you have two wonderful children. Three now. You have a third. I do. I do. How has that affected your life? I mean, you haven't raised a child. You haven't spared the rod in quite a long time. How many spankings have been busy spoiling? How many spankings have you given in your life? Would you say to children? Yeah. Oh, sure. Okay. Well, I actually did because I was raised in a house where we, you know,

corporal punishment was pretty standard. And to me, the belt is what I took. It wasn't a belt that was usually a hand or a, uh, wooden spoon. Yeah, uh, was a ruler or, yeah, ruler too. My grandma used to use a ruler. She also did the like really twisted sick thing of sending my brother and I to go out and cut a switch that she could hit us with.

That's the ultimate indignity. It's like go buy a belt. I don't even remember, I don't even remember she actually followed through and hit us with it, but just the thought of like go get the end of the perfect switch. I'm trying to find the perfect switch. So would you not then try to sabotage the switch?

Like I just brought in dandelions. And I said, go nuts old lady. Um, I think I spanked my son twice and then realized this is bad and no good. And this is not. And I don't mean like spanked, I just mean like a swat on the butt. Right. And I realized that when I did that, it was all about me being impatient. It wasn't about like this will teach him something because all I think it ended up, all it felt

like I was teaching him was to be afraid of me. Right. Like this is someone that I should, I should in my, in my paint box of feelings for this man, I should also include fear. And I didn't like the idea of that. Right now. Has he taken that color away since those two spankings? Approximately what, three years ago?

Yeah. Well, now I think the fear is like afraid to hurt my feelings about things. That's okay. I think that's a good, healthy amount. It is. I know. But I mean, but I, it's like, you're not, you know, all the things that he's ever been afraid of hurting

my feelings about. I'm like, honey, just tell me. I'd rather hear it than. And they're, they're grown now. Yeah. And you're, and you're new daughter is, it's three. It's three. That's's that's an adjustment. It is a gap. Yes. And but not honestly not that big a one because I like raising kids. So yours are somebody else's. I mean, I like I prefer my own honestly. If you had to raise someone. Yeah,

yeah. But no, I like raising kids. and I think if you're going to do something with your time, it's one of the most valuable things you can do with your time. So I feel like that's almost like I feel like I've played a scam and then acquiring a three-year-old because it's like, hey man, I get to do valid shit for like 16 years now. I thought it was all over. Yeah, it's got, because if I didn't, if I wasn't raising a kid, then it would just seem. What's it gonna be, like New York Minute 2?

You know what you mean? Wouldn't you and New York Minute? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what I mean. You're just gonna be spending your life like making. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't mean that. I mean, I just mean I consider raising children to be very important work. That's what I mean.

And I, so I've given myself another 15 years of that. And so I've just like, well, I guess now my kids are out of the house. Well, I do go, because it is weird to have your children turn into young adults. Yeah. And then you're like, you realize like, oh, I don't have any control over this human being. What's so ever? You realize like, oh, I don't have any control over this human being whatsoever. Like, you know, I mean, in terms of what they're going to do with themselves and what decisions are going to make, like, they are legitimately adult human beings now off on their own.

And it's kind of scary. It's like, it's scarier than... Freddie Krueger? No. earlier than Freddy Krueger? No Because he's no no actually bitch. I know but welcome to my dream. I bitch. I'm in show business. So I know him oh Yeah, I'm a good friend. No, no, just ready. Yeah. Yeah A lot wait. Well, I see him at soho house I'm on the lot. Well, I see him at Soho House. Um, but no, I, so I am, I did after regained patience.

Right. That was the big step. And I also kind of, you know, I didn't, I didn't wanna come into this, you know, like when I first started dating my wife, I didn't wanna come in and start, you know, like, hi there, I'm, you know, like, do that. I'm your new daddy stuff,

but she's pretty young. Yeah, but I mean, I also didn't wanna like, butter her up too much, or, you know, cause you, I've seen people do, you know, try and get in good with a little kid, which is just gross. So I kinda, you know, and also, cause I didn't wanna give I kind of, you know, and also I, because I didn't want to give any false idea, you know, and if we, and if it didn't work out between me and

Jen, I didn't want her kid to be going like, where's Andy? Where's my new daddy, you know? Where's that nice guy who put on that, that wonderful front? Where's the guy that brought Freddy Krueger over for dinner? Have you ever seen that video of the kid who loves Michael Myers from Halloween? No, no. She just views him as like costume character. And so he shows up to her birthday party and you hear the Halloween theme and she gets very excited. And then he comes out of the bushes and then she just runs over to him and hugs him. It's adorable because he's, you know, it's a good costume when you think about it, like feeling the kids, you know, like, and what did she say in the movies?

I don't think she's seen the movies. She just developed somehow a fast, it's like the other girl who developed the fascination with Michael McDonald, you know, it's like, I don't know how they, now according to her, Michael McDonald from the Dubie Brothers? Yes, from the Dubie Brothers. There's like a viral video out there now of like an eight-year-old

who loves Michael McDonald. Who loves Michael McDonald and her father surprised her with a concert that I apparently he got two dollar tickets to it the last minute if you can believe that. I see that you can. And that just hurts. And but she she says that she listened to Michael McDonald and said it was the most beautiful voice. and she imagined like Harry Styles singing. And then she looked him up online, and was bummed to see that he was like a 75 year old man, but then was kind of like, but still the voice is so good.

And so she was so excited about it. I love it when kids have like these weird interests. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And especially like niche ones, because like, oh, you like trucks. Wow. Oh, wow. Way to go. like oh you like trucks. Wow. Oh wow way to go. Oh you like cars. Yeah. Yeah. Oh Chew-choo trains huh? Ball ring

It is boring and hopefully our kids though. I would like our kids to be friends. I'm sure they will be. I bet they will be Yeah, I'm sure that my daughter will bully your kids. Yeah, how dare you? I'm, that's, listen, that's how we're raising her. Real, to be a bully, don't you look at the news? That's the way the world's going. Come on, Andy. Treat her to, no, I'm not, I'm not training her to be a bully. But she, but she's a handful, man. She is a, she is very,

she's just, and it's just a phase she's in now where she everything that you tell her she can't do becomes like, it's amazing to watch her because she will stand and scream, like a steam kettle. She'll stand there and she'll be getting mad and then she'll just like go, ah! And then stay in there breathing heavy and then do it again.

You see, I wouldn't take that. I have a rule. I'm going to tell my daughter what she's not allowed to do once. And I expect her to fall. Wait. What did Daddy say? What? What did Daddy write on the on the white board? Well, uh, it's wonderful that, uh, you know, you have these new changes in your life. And, uh,

but you know, what's constant is your podcast, the three questions for at least four or five years, apparently, all the way up to the current episode with Andrew Randalls from Broadway from the book of Mormon. Broadway Broadway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah, oh, did he correct you? No, he didn't correct me, but he did say Broadway.

But I think he was saying it with a sense of, you know, self-awareness and I. He's very funny, but I think he did say it every time he did say Broadway. It's, yeah, so it's very fun to say Broadway. It's Broadway. It's, yeah, so it's very fun to say Broadway. It's Broadway. Yeah, yeah. What did, how do you approach talking to your guests? Because there must be, you must have a booking person who's just like, hey, this person's available

and then you're kind of like maybe not even, really know who they are. I guess what I'm asking is like, what do you do when you're in a situation like I am sometimes where you're not really interested in the guest? Andy? Um. Um.

I usually, one of my first rules is to keep that a secret. Oh, yeah, so I don't know if that's something you might want to incorporate into your style. It might be helpful. Um, well, honestly, do you do a lot of research for it? I wonder something. into your style. It might be helpful. Well, honestly, a lot of research for it. I wonder something. I know you're asking the three questions, right? Because your questions are where are you? Where do you come from? Where are you going? And what have you learned? Right. And that and you could just kind of ask those three and people would just

like start talking and talk all the time. But you must you must have to do some research for some people. Well, somebody looks them up on Wikipedia quite frankly. That's the top. How do people do podcasts before Wikipedia? I don't know. I guess they went to the fucking library. I have a theory that they were invented on the same day

because they knew they needed each other. Or the thing too that Wikipedia has ruined is settling bar disagreements with reference books. Yeah, like taverns always they always would have the like yeah, like an allmanak and a dictionary and and that was you know sports records so that they could settle arguments at the bar. I mean, I was a part of that.

A number of times that is so long. I was telling Paul of Tom Comick and Tomkins that I've been reading old Nancy comics from the 50s. And it's so funny to remind yourself of the things that were like staples of the people every day. Yeah. Yeah. Like there are so many strips about sluggo going to a baseball park and watching the game for free through a not whole in the woods.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know, let's think about that all the time. Yeah. And those are all those kind of tropes too. We never even experienced other than in Nancy comments. Yes. Exactly. And they were actual tropes, but it's a trope to us now too, even though, I don't like, yeah, when's it less than you saw anybody peaking through a not hold and then you get a not hold. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But the reference, the bar reference books thing, that is the thing that I've only seen

in media. Yes. But I've never experienced it myself. Or like, I was talking to somebody, in fact, I think it was on a show and like a writers when we were talking about like, we went around the room like, has anyone seen an actual anvil? Right. And like, over half the room had never seen an anvil.

What are they for? Because you see them. They're for shaping metal. There's the flat part that you, and you know, that's all hammering. So the sort of horn end is for curves. And you move the metal, you know, enough people used them that they made it a token in monopoly.

Yeah. So I go, here's something everyone has. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I earn an anvil. Yeah, because you'd see an anvil. Is it a token in my not now? I'm sorry to feel like. No, I don't know that it is.

But it is. I mean, what about the boot? We can agree there's a boot in my way. There is a boot in my way. And there is a car. So I'm right. Old-timey open racer, yeah. So I'm right.

But no, I'm just saying they're all from like looney tunes. That's so many of the old-timey things. That, yeah. So I'm right. But no, I'm just saying they're all from like, looney tunes. That's so many of the old-timey things. That's the only time you would ever see one is being dropped on while E. Coyote. Yeah. What's his middle name, I wonder? Everett. Edgar?

Everett. Everett. It is Everett. Yeah, it's his father's name. Really? Is he a junior? No. No, no.

His father was just Everett Coyote. Yeah, and his father was actually against naming him, because his father was very humble. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, just a humble coyote. Yeah, and really disappointed in how wild he is. In his son, yeah, how wild.

I can imagine. Yeah, yeah, how wild. You know, I mean, just the predatory aspects. What he chose to do is to allow him, yeah. Exactly, yeah. Oh, it's terrible. Who's your favorite cartoon character? Golly.

I look at you and I think you're like a Count Chocula guy Yes, advertising cartoon. That's that's like for me. That's the pinnacle of I don't know what it is about you. I just like I'm looking at you. I'm like this guy loves Count Chocula I don't know. Well, I mean, I would say a character, I don't know that there's like a character. I mean, aside from Homer Simpson, is like the John Wayne.

The Doh Man himself. Yeah, I mean, he's like the John Wayne of comedy of stupidity in animation, you know. When you say John Wayne, you mean. I mean, like the ultimate pinn pinnacle, not a racist cowboy. Yes. Yeah. Oh, no, racist cowboy.

Yeah, and too short. Like, you know, someone short? Yeah, he was. How short was he? I don't know, but they built, they built door smaller form. They built door smaller form. In movies and stuff.

So he would always like bump into the sides going, oh, I'm so big. Yeah, yeah. I can't fit through this door. I wonder why that line isn't almost every John Wayne movie. That's so interesting. I made this door too small. The retiring Pat SayJack, which by the way, I was bummed when you didn't get that job. I, were you up for it? No. I had absolutely, I knew there was, I had like people telling me like you should, as if I, like it's just me being lazy is why I didn't get to be fucking ghost of the.

No, but legitimately why the wheel of fortune. When I saw that, I thought it was a conversation that we had many years back, maybe why I thought of you, but I was like, I bet Andy would have been good at that. Cause I think we had a conversation years back where you were like, I'd love to do a game show. And I just, when I saw it was available, I thought in my head, go get a Mandy.

And then like two days later, Ryan Seacrest gets it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, fucking cool. No, I'm not. I mean, the main reason that I thought I wouldn't get the job is because I'm a white man in my 50s and we've seen plenty of them on television and I am absolutely a hundred percent. I'm not something it's like yeah fucking I can't get a job because I'm white but at least but at least one

white man and Andy Richter could get a job well no but I'm saying that's what I'm saying is that to to recast Pat Say Jack first of all they should you should go for a young person you should go for, they should, you should go for a young person, you should go for a person of color, you should go for a person of the female side of things, you know. I know which side you're talking about. Oh, yeah. But unless, of course, you find the ultimate, famous person. Halitable, person that everyone knows. Kind of like doesn't offend anyone Ryan Seacrest. Yeah.

And when it was kind of rumored that Ryan Seacrest was, you know, and it's like, oh, yeah, of course, why not? It's like, yeah, let's give him more jobs. Yeah. He's well, yeah, but I would like one job. That's all I want is just one. I don't need to be Ryan's secret. Right, I just want one.

You know, haven't been. Well, you picked a great time to want it. I want to scab to get it. Is that all right? Is that so wrong? I want a scap job. Can I get a scap job? Can I get it?

Can someone get a scap job right here? Hi, do you want a scap job? Call 100 scap job right here. Hi, do you want a scap job? Call 100, scap jobs. Well, the three questions, I think we nailed talking about it. We sure did. You know, I don't know. I'm so sort of,

I sort of sort of like 50, 50, about almost everything in my life, which is why I have the medication. And to get me to, to get me to, get me to get me to get me to, yeah, probably. But when I started doing it, it was kind of, you know, I'll do this too. And it'll be fun. But I mean, I really do feel like I've learned how to interview someone for an hour. I, uh, which I kind of worked at, you know, I listened, I listened

to the tape of it or you know, listen back to the shows as much as I possibly can because I am for inspiration. No, just for creative. If however you are for critique, you know, to learn to stop doing things. Stop doing that thing with your voice or stop interrupting or whatever. Why are you pointing at me when you say stop interrupting? Because if your hat that says the interruptor, it's the interruptor. It's my favorite scobhead.

But yeah, I mean, I've grown very proud of it. And I get, and I don't, I talk to people, I just, I only talk to people I wanna talk to, except for, you know, some, no, no, I really, I really truly do, I don't, I don't talk to me. So I feel like, I love you too. I love you too. It's not like podcasts or like clamoring to get me on them.

So I was very, but you're interested, I mean, I feel like, as long as it's an interesting conversation, I don't, I don't know not that worried about it, but I mean, I don't even know how it does or whatever. They tell me it does well and I'm happy about that. And it's now that they don't see serious exam. Yeah, I mean, I kind of have developed that way of being to just try and have fun.

And it kind of developed through the Conan show where I just got this system and it's like, well, I'm gonna make the best show for the people watching it if I follow my own good time within that hour. And I try to do that with all kinds of different stuff. Like the commercials that you, you know, that you just mentioned that I directed, like I like being on set. I like being funny with people.

I like people that work in movies and television. So I just didn't try to, you know. It's fun to be on set. That's absolutely. A lot of times it's just like, you get offered something and it's just like, you know what, I don't even care about the money. It's just good on set and have a ball.

And have fun with fun people. Yeah. You ever be on that Conan show and you're like, God, I want to interrupt Conan. Well then you're like, I just would. I just would. Dude, did you have to reign yourself in ever

or were you ever like second guessing yourself like? Well, no, this is just too much talking for me. I mean, there was many, many occasions where I had a zinger and that's trademarked, by the way. You trademarked zinger. I trademarked zinger. Amazing. Paul Azinger was furious.

The golfer, Paul Azinger. No, but I would have something loaded up and then the moment would pass. You know, like the person would say loaded up and then the moment would pass. You know, like the person would say something, answer, and then the timing wasn't right. And then I just would have to. This is what I would do. I'd raise my hands. I want to go back hold on. Well, occasionally I would, I would do that.

And it almost never was a good idea. Hey, remember when you guys said that thing about this book, that's what I used for toilet paper. What? Anyhow, back to the Holocaust. Well, it's interesting to see you going from sidekick, second banana with one of the world's greatest interviewers and then stepping into the spotlight yourself. Yes. And then taking what you've learned from those situations

and becoming an interviewer in your own right, with now approximately four to five years of episodes, including all the way, including up to the one with Andrew Randalls that just came out. Yes. And the three questions is the podcast, fellow podcast or Andy Richter is here. We have to take a break.

Does that surprise you? No, it doesn't. Yeah, we've been going for about 30 minutes. We've got to pay some bills. We do. My bills, that is. Of course. We have a great show for you. I did not ask our guests who they are though.

I didn't get any info. We've been blabbing. Sorry, guests. Don't write into it. But we're going to take a break. I'm going to get all that info. And we come back with a more Andy Riker, more comedy bang bang. We'm gonna get all that info. And we come back. We'll have more Andy Richter, more comedy bang bang.

We'll be right back after this. Comedy bang bang. We're back. Andy Richter is here. And the Andy Richter, you would know from his podcast, the three questions as well as directing approximately three commercials. How many now?

How many spots? Really like 12, like 12 over a number of years. Well, and they're what a minute a piece. No, 30s usually 30s or 15s So approximately six minutes of content. I did yeah, yeah, wow for commercial. Yeah No problem. Yeah, no, there was like I did did a series for Illinois lottery number of years ago, and I was in them too. And, um, directed. This is fun. Do you like directing? I do. I like it very much. Action cut. Well, it's a wrap. What's what I like about it. Don't print that one.

What I like about it, besides people doing what you say, that's awesome. Is that in the, at least in commercials, because it's the only thing that I've directed, is you have a set amount of stuff that you need to do with all kinds of variables and a set amount of time to do it. And so it's like a beat the clock with problem solving. Like we're running low on time.

Look, let's just turn the camera around and shoot that what we were gonna move down the street for here in this corner. You know, and that's all directing. Yeah, it's really fun. Sort of fun. Yeah. I like it. I don't know. William Friedkin, you just, I didn't, I didn't have this. I mean, you've had more stressful directing probably and bigger, longer things. Yeah, but William Friedkin was just talking about how to a classroom of like film students was like, okay, here's what you got to know about directing. You're going to have to eat shit constantly. And the film students were like, no, and he's like, yeah, you're going to have to eat shit

from the studio. You're going to have to eat shit from the actors. You're going to have to eat shit from the elements. You're going to have to eat shit from the sun, you know, like everything that you basically have to totally compromise on. A lot of people think like, oh, and I'm going to be a director and I'm an author and I'm going to do it exactly the way I want. No, you constantly have to make compromises. Right. And that can be infuriating, right? You could just like lay into it and go, well, you know, none of this is going to be the way exactly the way I thought it was going to

be, but it's going to be something cool. And also you at a certain point you just surrender to the general kind of momentum Yes of the set and the people you're working with and you just kind of I mean because I you know Like even in these ones I just did I had a moment of where I was like are any of these good or funny You know like while I'm doing it and and then I just, I have to be like, just, I'm gonna relax you. And I know it'll be fine, you know. And I'm sure they're great. I did not, I did not to watch them.

That's all right. I don't watch commercials. Okay. I have a T-Vo. There is a little story about them. And I'm sure you look at the ad week website, every day. Of course, yes.

I don't watch commercials. I love to read about you. Yeah, oh my God. I don't watch commercials. I love to read about it. Yeah. Oh, my God. Reading about them is awesome. Well, these sound great. And three podcasts.

The question is out there now. Just get to the, these guys. I want to meet these people. Let's meet these people. We, uh, we've spoken to her before. She's a teen foreman. Please welcome back to the show, Suzy Tuman. Oh, hi, Scott.

Hi. So great to see you again. Wow, I'm just an average teenager. I took off my glasses and everybody thought I was really pretty. I got an A in senior algebra and I got a big secret. I'm a teenage foreman of a non-uniconstruction site. That's right, Andy. Yeah, Suzy's been on the show before.

We met. We met. Oh, wait, you were on the show? The last time I was here, Suzy was here. Oh, okay. I don't remember exactly What the thing was well, that's it what I just said oh Okay, that's pretty much it for a form of a union construction non-unique construction Yeah, the summer so well we're starting school this week. You are junior year. Junior year

Yeah, how are you feeling about it? Oh pretty good. I had an amazing summer and I'm getting ready for homecoming That's coming up in a few weeks and a few weeks. That seems yeah in a few weeks. Is homecoming always like in the early September? Well a few weeks is relative, right? So a few weeks is actually nine weeks. Okay. Yeah. Hey, put a half on that one of my favorite movies. Nine and a half weeks. It's hurt. Is that true? Have you been horny in a movie theater? I don't understand the reference.

Never mind. You're just a teenage kid. How would you? That's it. Wait, I want to know while you're at school. I'm sorry. Of course, no, I have to be. While you're at school, what are the guys on the job site do?

Oh, well, Mr. Director, they do a lot of different stuff. I sort of locked the gate behind me And so they have to continue working until I come back and unlocks it. Yeah, which is sort of a fun Practice that we've put in place. Yeah, it's called gate hours and they don't mind Mine still mine. Yeah, I mean you're the boss. You laid out you have the rules. Yeah, I got some crazy stuff happening though We've got sort of our first week carnival, which is gonna be pretty pretty exciting, but this is at high school. This is a high school, but then unfortunately, we got indicted on human rights violations of the construction site.

So and that's happening the exact same week. No, the trial and carnival. Yeah, and I just don't know what to do. Can you go back and forth like you're in an episode of Three's Company? I think I'm gonna have to try. Yeah. So maybe like, you raise your right hand, pledge on the Bible to tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. So I'm gonna be like duck out the back and go with the carnival.

Do you think that would work, Scott? I don't know. Traditionally, those things, there's a costume change involved. Yeah. And then at some point, you get it confused. You get the wrong costume. Yeah, you show up and court and your carnival suit and you go right back and then you

run out and change into your court suit. That's such a good idea because I have to go to this carnival. Why? What's going on at the carnival? Well, so I got really hot this summer is basically what happened. I wasn't going to mention you're a junior in high school. I wasn't going to talk about your aesthetics. You've blossomed, certainly.

Thank you so much, Scott. Yeah, so I got boobs this summer and I took my glasses off and my long hair got a little bit longer and definitely shinier. Wow. Wow. And so it takes sometimes. Yeah, that's like algebra of hotness. You add those things up.

Yeah, equals hotness. I should know that. I got an A. Yeah, you just said that. For algebra. Yeah, but it's one of those things where now. It may be great to get like whatever the letter grade is for whatever your class was.

So like biochemistry, I got a B. That's perfect. Yeah, oh sure. A in algebra. Sure. Yeah. See in chemistry, perfect. Jim, you get a G.

A Z in zoology. Yeah, exactly. That's fun. See in chemistry. Perfect. Jam you get a G. A Z a Z in Zoology. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's fun. I love that. Hey, I love your feedback. Here's my issue. Scott. So I've got the love of my life. Paul, right? And then Paul is my crush. God, I feel like you don't listen to anything that I say.

That's pretty accurate. Yeah. So I have this love in my life Paul and then my best friend Paul and they're both Paul G, but one has a long name and one is just goes by the initial G Mm-hmm And I thought that Paul G was just my best friend, but actually I think I might be in love with him too So who do I go after? Do I go after the boy that I've been crushing on since literally eighth grade or my best friend turned maybe love interest? What could you ask them? What is it you like about me? Like for the boy you've been crushing on,

is it just the new boobs? You know? Because then maybe you have your answer. Like your best friend has been supporting you, you know, pre-boobs and probably post boobs. Yeah, well, I tried to work it out with two of the guys on the construction site. I sort of locked them in a room and I made them play out the scenario. And they got

an improv scenario. Yeah, I made them improv. How they do really bad. Did you teach them the tenants of improv before you start? Well, they're more IO style and I'm more UCB style. So we just weren't speaking the same language. I think was the issue. I made them take classes on their own dime. So it was really hard. What did you learn from it though? They were just bad at it and you didn't learn anything. I learned from it. Big Tony should really brush his teeth. We practiced kissing.

We practiced kissing. Oh dear. Yeah, they got really upset about it. They got upset about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put tape over their mouth and then I drew lips on top of the tape. Oh. Yeah, it was great.

But he still smells like Tony's breath. Yeah, well that's what I'm saying the tape. Oh, hmm. Yeah, it was great. And he still smelled the Tony's breath. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Wow. Really bad breath. It is. And clinically, he should go to a dentist on his own time. Wow. He doesn't have it. And his own dime.

And his own dime. I know dental, that's for sure. Anyways, this FBI lawyer is really getting on my ass. And I don't know what to do. What did you do? There was a human rights violation. What happened? Yeah, well, we would do this thing where you know

When I'd lock the gates and I'd sort of make people work the mark marriage special Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so then it was one of those things where I would play classical music that we nobody could fall asleep I I've found that people fall asleep to classical. No, I blast it and it was weird stuff is like William tell or So and and people got mad about that and they said, you can't do that. And also then I didn't provide any drinking water. I said the rain would collect in the ditches

that we were taking and people were more than welcome to drink that if they wanted to. Wow. I mean, come on water. Water H2. I can't just have water. Well, they can as long as it comes out of the ditch. But why couldn't they have drinking water, really?

What do you mean? Why don't you let, is it really that expensive for you to let them have drinking water? Well, it's every job supposed to provide water though, that's, I don't think it's a law necessarily. That's it, Scott, we're on the same team. Wow, okay. I don't think I've ever been to a job where it's like,

people are legally mandated to give you, what is like you can bring some? Yeah, that's what I keep saying. When you leave on your own time and your own dime, Scott said that give you what is like you can bring some. Yeah, that's what I keep saying. When you leave on your own time and your own dime, it's got said that that was really funny. You can bring some. Yeah. All right. I don't know.

It just seems like it just seems like you're very strict for someone so young and I'm wondering if that it have you experienced that same like have you ever been deprived drinking water in your life? Yeah, basically. We were at Jim class last Wednesday, and my gym teacher, Ms. Frans, she said, you gotta go run an entire mile. And I said, but I'm thirsty. And she said, run the mile, and then you can have some water. Wow. And you did run the mile?

No, I said I had cramps. How often do people use that? And what percentage of the time is it true? How often do people use it? And the guys on the site try and use it all the time to get out of work and never work. I say get back to it. I find it interesting that you are having so much trouble

in both locations. Yeah. It seems to me like you'd be excelling at one and maybe the other would be suffering, but it sounds like both halves of your lives are your undergoing complications. Yeah, really falling apart. I tried my step-dad, Frank. He's my rock and my love of my life. It was one of those things where I tried going to him for advice, but it's really hard

because he's in jail right now. Oh no, what happened? His modeling thing was a Ponzi scheme. Oh, I remember talking, yeah. Yeah, he used to go scout for models at the mall. And it was a Ponzi scheme. I was hit a Ponzi scheme. Like they were hiring three models themselves.

He would pay the top tier of models and then they would have to go scout at other malls in the area. Sounds like if you're a guy out there scouting for models in a mall, you want to be the one doing the scouting. You're not doing a bungee scheme. You would think that he got tired. Too tired to scout for models. I don't think I've ever been that tired.

Yeah, you're constantly at the mall trying to tell people that they should be a magazine's risk. Well, you know, I mean, I was thinking about that the other day about does that I wonder if that line works anymore of like, hey, you know, you should be a model. Here's my car because it's like, yeah, I am one. What do you mean by that? Like everyone's a model, no, like everyone has an Instagram. It's like, yeah, I have an Instagram account. I'm good. I don't need your card. Oh, I see. That's really interesting. You know what's in reviews are in. I just, I've been doing a lot of asking you questions and it seems like my job is a form it isn't going well,

but it seems like my job of maybe hosting this podcast is going really well. I don't know that I'm necessarily looking for a substitute. I was just if I were, I would look to an experienced podcast or like Andy over here. I have a podcast. You have a podcast. Yeah, you have a podcast. What's your podcast? That's a really great question and sort of about.

So I'm doing fine. I don't need a... You got me there, Scott. What is it got right to it? What's the name of it? The name of the podcast is two girls, one family. You have me until the word family. two girls, one family. And. You have me until the word family.

Two girls, one family. And it's basically about a theoretical sort of story based podcast, about what if a teenager was living to very different lives. And sort of I would have on my friends to ask what they would think if their friend had been lying to them for four years straight. This sounds very familiar. It sounds a lot autobiographical. Yeah, that sounds a lot like your own life.

Well, no, because what is happening to this girl in this podcast is she's running a non-union Starbucks. And so it's a little bit different. A little bit different. And they're obviously really trying to unionize. Now in the podcast version, does she display incredible decisiveness and sureness, assuredness at the Starbucks? And yet not at all in high school and her own mind. It's like you just know the podcast Andy,

that's crazy. No, but I mean, I'm just saying, because that's what we're seeing from you. Like you're so self-assured. Rich Paul, but yeah, but then you're locking grown men in and forcing them to do improv. I just really feel like something's got to give, you know what I mean? Like I just I don't I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm not sleeping. Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping?

I am living sleeping. I feel like I'm not. I'm only getting like eight hours. That's a lot. I mean, yeah, that's a paramount. That's like, I mean, more than I probably sleep, but you feel like you're not. It's not a competition, Scott. What's it saying? Was it?

Were it to be? You would be winning. So how do you feel about that? Well, I mean, I guess kind of good. I mean, I don't know. It's, I feel like you could use a little of your self-assuredness, and translate it into your personal life. Are you saying what I think you're saying?

I don't know. Do a lip sync at the first week of school carnival? I guess so. I guess that's what I think. And then put on another wig and date both boys at the same time. I mean, that's kind of what I would do. If I had the ability to just put on a wig

and date several people at One time I would probably do it you are constantly saying that and what if you found out one of them was gay and then you dressed up as a boy And that was the switch is that one of you would pretend to be a boy and one you would and then as the boy You and the other Paul were to be competing for your favor as well. Right. Right. Is this a movie idea? It's getting to an inception. I've actually written, I've written it down and so I'm going to sell it. Oh, you mailed the beer so far.

Oh my gosh. And I stamped it and I closed it so when the strike is over. And don't worry, I got a team of people that can help me produce this movie. Can we at least be in it, me and Scott? Yeah. Yeah, you could be in it. That's two best friends, maybe. Two best friends way, way far in the background

of the carnival scene. Two carnies? I'll take it. I'll take it. Honestly, after a strike, I take it. Sure, sure. Because you know on a carnival set, there's going to be cotton candy and

Oh, not on this one my school. We're not allowed to have any potential allergens. Oh Yeah, what what sort of things happen to this carnival? Hmm. Is there a dunk, huh? What is there a dunk tank? Yes, you know the guest. Oh right. This segment is there a dunk take. Oh, I wish not anymore Not after what happened last year. What happened somebody got dunked take oh I wish not anymore not after what happened last year. What happened? Somebody got dunked it. Really? That's its purpose. So no one expected that. Water everywhere. Their parents sued the school district. Because it's got water? Yeah. So now it's just an it's empty. No wonder that you have a thing about it. So the people will just drop into the bottom. Yeah. Oh, maybe put some cushions down there. Oh, I wish can't do it. Can't do

it. Why not? You can't. You can't. Goose feathers. Are you in charge of this carnival? It sounds like you. Well, my guys are building it. It's going to be a good thing. Okay. Double dip in. Well, here's the thing is they gave me the budget and they said as long as I do it under budget, I get to keep the change. Nice. Okay, yeah. That's a good system. So that's the other big thing is, my guys are building the carnival, and I'm constantly having to put my wig in my hard hat on and then take it off, stop being, and talk to all my friends.

What'd you just put the hard hat on and say? I can't do that. I gotta get in character, Scott. I definitely told you this at some point in time. I feel like you're not listening. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, but think about, did you ever see the last episode of Hannah Montana?

No. The last episode. Yes, I didn't either. But in that episode, I guess the Miley Cyrus person says goodbye to the Hannah Montana alter ego. And don't you think you should do that and just be one person? Just be a kid, yeah.

Or say goodbye to your school. I mean, honestly, like you're better at the construction stuff, it sounds like than you want to. Whoa, I didn't honestly, you're better at the construction stuff. It sounds like the new one. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, I didn't even think about that. So sort of just tell everybody the truth and see where the chips fall. Precisely.

Whoa, okay. So then I guess I can go to school and be myself and then I can also stand trial as a legal adult because even though I'm 16, they're trying me as an adult. I didn't really, oh no. Yeah, and then potentially face- How many decades are you looking at in prison?

Oh, it's a white collar crime technically. So I know you pay a fine. You're fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, $2,000. Two that why are you even bothering going to the trial? Do you think? Yeah, just pay the two. Skip it.

That's what I would do. You couldn't pay me $2,000 right now to show up to a court. If I offered you $2,000 right now, you wouldn't show up to any kind of court. No, thank you. What's the cash? We're a tennis court.

Definitely not a pickle ball. Yeah. Right. What's the amount that I would show up to a court and undergo a trial for? Yeah. How long is the trial? It's going to be eight weeks.

And what size is your head? Eight. Yeah. Would you wear a wig? It's a $250 a week. Huh? Huh? Me? Yeah, you. Okay. Yeah, so like $250,000 or $250 a week. Yeah. You can I thought a 2000 for a day I wouldn't even do. Okay. Well, how much would it cost for me for you to put my wig on and show up at this trial?

Well, let's say I wouldn't do it for 2000 a day. Right. I would do it for, I'd do it for 10 grand a day. Scott, what if I tell everybody the truth and nobody likes me? I, that's a fear, honestly. Yeah, yeah. And it happens, trust me. That's the fear that we all have.

What if I tell the truth about myself and no one likes me? I mean, that's how we all feel about ourselves every day. The best we can do is just try to live our lives honestly. The people that don't like you, they're not meant to be in your life. Do you think so? Maybe. I just kind of made that up as I was talking. Well, what do I do? If I can't be a non-union construction site for men, and I can't be... What do you want to do with your life?

I do. What do I want to do with your junior? What do we want to be? Yeah, I mean, this is just a hobby for you. Yeah, you thought about college maybe? No, I haven't. Not at all, not for one second. You're a junior. Yeah, I'm a junior.

You haven't even brought this up to you ever. Well, my uncle Frank gave me some really good advice and he said, college, don't do it. And did he elaborate or was that it? No, then the prison phone caught out and so I couldn't get the end of what he was saying. I don't know that I'll be taking his advice necessarily. Wait, so your stepfather and your uncle Frank? Your son? Oh, right, it's my stepfather. Oh, your uncle Frank. Well, my stepdad is my uncle. Is my legal uncle? Yeah, here you go. So he got an upgrade. Yeah, well, he got married to my aunt.

He got your stepdad got married to me. My mom passed away in a tragic ship accident. Oh. And so then he married my aunt. Wait, so he's making sense. No, I didn't. Yeah, wait, wait, wait. Her stepfather after her mother died.

Her widowed stepfather. Where's your father in all this? Oh, Portland. Say no more. Portland, he makes beer. Oh, like craft beer. No, he works for Budweiser. They're in Portland trying to sort of cut out

the craft market up there. Yeah, I understand that. Well, look, Susie Tuman, I don't know that we have answers for you, but you seem to be at a constant state of distress every time you come. I hope that getting this kind of stuff off the chest is... I gotta say, the calmest I've ever been is when you guys locked me in that back room for three hours before the podcast record. That's right.

I really do calm down on that. Remind me to do that next time you're on the show. Again? Yeah. Well, you do it every time, so I would imagine that it would happen again next time. I don't know why I wouldn't happen next time. Just remind me because I keep forgetting and then I see you and I go,

Oh, your assistants will take care of me. Yeah, they'll take care of me. All my many assistants, my whole team. Why do you have so many assistants? You know, it's just one of these things where they're doing this podcast. It's a lot of hard work. I mean, a lot of people think,

oh, anyone could do this. You're just saying bullshit. I'm thinking that constantly. You're right. Maybe I will host your podcast when I grow up. I look, I mean, I still think I have another. Andy, if I go to college, can I host this podcast? Yeah, you can major in hostile takeovers

and then use those skills to out this background. You could buy me, yeah. What a good idea. Yeah, you could buy me out. Yeah, but if it's day rate Yeah, you could buy me out. Yeah, I'm glad. If it's day rate is 10 grand, buying him out on this podcast is gonna.

You're gonna need a little capital, but I think you're gonna be first. And we're running out of time here. I think I'm ready to move on to our next guest. No, no, no, no, no, no, we have to take a break. Oh, right. See, this is your first lesson in podcasting. We need to go talk to, you know, mattress people and.

Oh, right. And food delivery services Yeah, no, this is a good lesson. I feel like I'm mentoring this young child What you were saying about raising children Andy. This is really resonating with me now Yeah, yeah, telling Susie to him and hear about podcast ads All right, I live here I guess I Here I'm in I guess I'll change my last name to Okerman. Oh, boy.

Susie Tuman Okerman. That sounds like we're married. Susie Tum. I don't think so. Susie Tokerman. Oh, that's good. Not bad at all. Susie Tokerman teen podcaster.

Doesn't that look quite the same ring to it? Your brand names. Your brand instincts are really, really good. Look, we need to take a break. We need to take a break right now. We, uh, uh, go ahead. We'll come back to take a break. We need to take a break right now. Go ahead. We'll come back to you right after this break or maybe not. We'll see.

You really don't want to leave the audience thinking we're not going to come back after the break. They won't sit through the break. Go take, take some time for yourself. And if you, you're back when we get back, we'll see you back. These are, okay, your podcasting instincts are bad. I think that's all exciting. It sounds exciting. Yeah.

It's outside. Okay. We're going to take a break when we come back. Maybe we'll be here. Maybe we won't. Maybe you won't be. Whoa, who knows. But we are supposed to talk to a viral guru when we come back. That would be very exciting. So, uh, please come back. We'll have more from Suzy to M&M. Maybe Richter. More comedy, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, I bang up into this. I bang up into this. I bang up into this. I bang up into this. I bang up into this. How many bang bang we're back? Andy Richter is here of the three questions and nothing else we can talk about. Another, oh, Andy's directing career.

Can't talk about it. Can't talk about whether he's a quintuplet or not or why people might be asking that. I think we could talk about quintuplets. Are you worried? I'm worried that the SAG is afraid that someone's gonna look up quintuplets and some money into the pockets of, what was that on Fox or?

It was on Fox. It was on Fox, yeah. It was on Fox. Is it streaming anywhere? Can anyone get it? I have no idea. Isn't that interesting? You do stuff and that just disappears.

Oh, absolutely. But that's the way it used to be, I mean, they used to erase tapes back in the, like, Monty Python days and I love Lucy and stuff like that, they used to do it. Dr. Who? Or, yeah, and also, you know, most early cinema is just gone. Just gone. I'm like, yeah, throw it out.

Yeah. I mean, it's weird to be working in an industry where that's kind of like, that's the norm in a way is like, yeah, let us throw it out. Yeah, I guess, but I guess everyone's job is like, yeah, we're all just, you know, biting time. We're all just renting our little space and a big beach. That's right. And hopefully when we get up there to heaven,

yeah, heavenly father will be awaiting us. So look, I live on the beach. That's all I'm saying. Scott, can I try asking a question? Ah, all right. Susie, too, I'm in this here. A teen form. And yeah, go ahead, ask a question.

Uh, so Andy, uh, you do a lot of things on TV and on podcasts. So I guess my question is, have you ever been in for questioning because they found a body buried in a hospital sort of foundation or anything like that? No, I honestly haven't. I got to ask this question, I wouldn't be a good podcaster if I didn't ask a follow-up, which is, have you? Not that anybody can prove, right Scott? That you, no one can prove you've been in for questioning. I think they keep records of that. The police station. Good luck finding it.

I'm that place burned with the ground. Am I right, Andy? The police station? Why are you high-fiving? Wow. Andy, you're reciprocating. I just, it's a reflexive thing when somebody puts one up. I can't even hang.

I understand that. Well, speaking of putting one up, let's put up another guest on the board. He is a viral guru. This is very exciting. I don't even know what that means. But please welcome to the show for the first time, Daniel Koloji.

Hey, hey, how's it going, Scott? It's going really good. This is Suzy. This is Andy. Hi, Andy. Hi, I'm here to meet you. Yeah, we said hello before the show. Oh, you did, yeah.

Daniel Koloji is that guy? A KoloJ. KoloJ. It's like KoloN before the show. Oh, yeah. Daniel Colidgee is that your name? Colodj. Colodj. It's like, Cologne without the end? A little bit. It's K-O-L-O-D-J-I-E-Z. So you have a DJ in there, which is fun. That's why you're like DJ Z-Trip.

Yeah, I like that a little bit of a party. Yeah, I love that. I love that. And you're a viral guru. I don't know exactly. I sort of know what a guru is. And I know it goes- Just the word viral, that's just different.

Well, I've gone viral, several of my tweets are passed. Well, I see something like that, a little bit. I am hired to give symposiums and one-on-one coaching to brands and individuals to help them go viral. Cause that's our currency these days. You know, I help people go viral because I've been viral myself I go viral five six. What if what have you been viral with? Well, you know like The very first time I ever went viral. I remember it well

It was about 10 years ago and I was walking out of a Cumberland farms in Warcraft, Rhode Island and there was a Cumberland farm It's like a little mini-marx. It's a mini-marx. Yeah, like&PM. And there were... Antimiridium, post-miridium. Yeah, yeah, okay, you get it. Yeah, you didn't have to ask. There were five or six, 13-year-olds there and they said, hey, nice hat, but I wasn't wearing a hat. And I said, I'm not wearing a hat. And they just beat the shit out of me.

And I bring a camera caught it and it went huge. It was just massively big. Just these 13-year-olds just go into town. How many 13 year olds? Well, it's foggy, but I think it's like four or five six somewhere around there. Yeah, so that's like a 65 year old. Yeah, there were five of them. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. Did you fight back? Oh, yeah, as hard as I could, and it didn't matter, and I think that's part of what the appeal was. Sure. You know, people just watching someone flail around without any sort of... Yeah, yeah.

Just impotently. Yeah, and I get it. It was funny, you know what I mean? And that kind of made me famous. And I was like, that's fun for a day. And then it just kind of kept happening where I'd go somewhere, and a bunch of 13 years would show up. I don't know how they knew, and they would just beat the shit out of me

and they would film it and that would go viral. And you know, like if you're 13, you know Daniel Kaloje and you've probably beat me up. And it's just, you know, it's just, this would happen in your neighborhood or neighborhood, I went to a mini golf invitational in Myrtle Beach once and they, I don't know they had invitations for me.

Well, they don't. That was the 13 year old said. Oh, it was a lure. Yeah, the invite was real, but the mini golf was not. So when I got down there, then the invite wasn't real if the mini golf was not. They invite someone. Oh, it's a real invitation.

Thank you, Andy. Yeah, I was invited to go to Myrtle Beach. But can you call the invite reel if the whole basis of the invite is just a lure in a trap. I think so. I mean, I mean, maybe I may be right. Yeah, right? He didn't go because he came up with it. Somebody invited you invited to like, there's like a surprise pile. I think we're going to go out to dinner. That's still an invitation,

even if there's you do go out to dinner, though, because that would be a terrible surprise party. It's like, hey, we're going to go out to dinner. And then like, you never go out to dinner. You just go back to your house and there's a bunch of people there. Well, I'm there in the last 10 minutes. I're gonna go out to dinner. And then like, you never go out to dinner, you just go back to your house, and there's a bunch of people there. Well, I've got there in the last 10 minutes. I can't go out to dinner anymore, because of the 13-year-olds. But the, like, that is such a big thing apart of my life.

I was like, well, I can monetize this. I can turn, I can help people go. If I, like, what was the first time you, was it your Joker tweet? Didn't you tweet something about the Joker? I don't remember, but yeah, I've got, there was a Star Wars tweet. I think Star Wars is very viral.

Great, great one. That even Ryan Johnson replied to. Yeah, and so you did that. And then like, I mean, not very big. Yeah, it was pretty, yeah, it was fairly. It caused a lot of problems with my cell phone for a few days. And then you got the 13 year olds found you from that tweet.

No, I did not give my location away in those tweets and no 13 year olds found me. Mine was a happy ending where I ended up deleting my Twitter account. Yeah, may I ask a question? Do the kids age out? Like what happens when age 14? Yeah, no, I think they do.

I've never been hit by an adult in my whole life. For seven I haven't I've never been hit by an adult my whole life. Right. 47 years old. I've never been punched by an adult. Would you consider it to be an adult? Is this like 14 years old? Honestly, 14 years old. 14 years old. Through their bar mitzvah? Yeah, yeah. Once they are a canonically adult in the eyes of the Jewish god, then they have knowing. That's how I feel too. Yeah, okay, good. I'm glad we're on the same page. And they, so once that happens, but they are still around. A lot of times they'll be filming, right?

Oh, okay, so they're not too old to film. Not too old to film. But you must be very excited when one of these child's 14th birthday is approaching. It does, you know what? It doesn't matter. It does, they're just keep coming. They make new 13 year olds every day.

Every day. Like sharks teeth. Yeah, exactly. Just a row upon row. I'm so sorry. I'm a little star. I'm very nervous. I'm very nervous being next to you.

I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous.

I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. Oh, yeah, they're all gone. If I go under a black light, you know, right away, these are not real teeth,

but do you go under these black lights all the time? Really, are these posters or the... No, I just, you know, I made a bad Amazon order, like they just come every week. Oh, wow. And so it's a subscription. And so like I'm not gonna waste them, you know. Oh, I guess.

Climate change. So I just am always basically under the black light. Yeah. Or I'm just glad to hear it wasn't like a homicide investigation that you're constantly part of. No, no, no, no, absolutely. People looking for your seam in everywhere. Yeah, yeah. No, they'll find it, but no, they don't look for it. But they will find it. They'll, I mean, if you look hard enough for anything, you'll find it. Yeah, sure. There's a label on the jar. Yeah, it's right there. So, I mean, this is not the way the people normally go viral. I don't know if you know that.

But what's some of the advice that you give to these companies? That's great. So, the first thing I say, I'll be there, I'll be in front of like all the CEO suite of a hard-seltzer company. I'll be going, the first thing you need to know about going viral is, don't do this. Don't do this to yourself. You don't want to go viral. is don't do this. Don't do this to yourself. It'll ruin your life. You don't wanna go viral.

Don't go viral, it's bad, it's never good. It's good for a little bit, and then it goes bad, and your life is ruined. And then I go, but if you wanna hear more, I can talk more, and they'll say, yes, we don't care about that, I go, okay. Number two, take the worst things that happen to you, and brand it, right?

So like, my brand is 13 year olds running up to me, tricking me, I'm a gullible man. How do they trick you? That's the other thing because the first, I mean, we've heard about the, the, oh yes, that was a trick. That's what got me to stop was I said, I'm not wearing it.

I see. So you didn't say it as you were continuing walking. No, because I thought they were friendly children, but they weren't friendly children. Pretty genius to say, like, I like your hat. Yeah, and you're going to wear a hat. I thought like, maybe I am wearing a hat, but I wasn't wearing a hat. So you're gullible. So anything anyone says to you, you'll buy it. Mostly. Yeah, absolutely. Mostly. Can we try this out? Andy, do you have anything to say to say to? Sure.ot and I are actually secretly married. Oh, wow. Well, it's now secret anymore, but congratulations. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

So you know that was that was us telling the truth and that fall for that I'm not for that. I'm not that gullible. Okay, so you bought the thing that was not true. I bought the truth Yeah, okay, interesting wow interesting. Wow over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and and the thing that he bought the thing that was not true. I bought the truth, yeah. Okay, interesting. Wow, interesting. Wow, over here, yeah. And the thing that he bought, the truth that he bought, was not true in the statement of the thing being not true. That was the thing that he did. True, that was what he did by, yeah. It's like you have backwards brain.

Have you ever heard of that? Just from my doctor. Can I ask, do you ever show up to a CEO meeting? Yes. Ask do you do you ever show up to a a CEO meeting? Yes, and you come in the boardroom. Oh, and it's 13 year old. Yeah, yeah, 40% of the time It's like not a lot, you know, but you don't get paid then I do not get paid And are they all wearing like little tiny suits like they're in the boys from summer? Cute video. They all look like they're, they've been, or what would you video on my thinking of that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

little kid? Oh, I don't know. I think it's the boys from summer video. I don't know. Where the little kid breaks the pencil. He's so stressed out. I said, I don't know. Just say like,

I'm sorry. Like boss, baby. Oh, yeah, like boss. Yeah, yeah. You're thinking about this. Has anyone ever done a boss baby on you? No, babies love me. Babies will love me.

They won't, they're very considerate and they're very nice. Love to be around the baby. It's just when they turn 13 and suddenly. Yeah, you can see in their eyes around 11. You can tell they're thinking about it. They're working on it. They're building up and then around 12 or 13 like his get their phones and they start to be aware

and they're like, oh, well, we'll go, we'll go just beat the living shit out of this man. So how many days a week are you getting the shit beat out of you? If you don't mind me, if you can round up or down school year four, four days a week, summer seven. Seven days a week, seven days a week. So this is prime time for you. This is prime time.

This is where I like, you know, I really get out there. And honestly, it brings work in. I made $29 million last year from all these symposiums. Oh wow! So it's worthwhile to a certain degree, everything but my ego. And that's why I'm happy to be in this audio book just to talk about it a little bit. Oh, it's a podcast, but that's so interesting.

Would you, Andy, would you, would if someone were to pay you $29 million to have an almost daily beating? Yeah. Would you take it? By 13 year olds? Yeah. I might, they could be vicious. I might, that's a lot of money. Yeah. It you take it by 13 year olds? Yeah. I might.

They could be vicious. I might. That's a lot of money. Yeah. It's a lot of money. It's a lot of money. Yeah. And to be fair, I'm not getting paid for getting beat up.

I'm getting paid because of the publicity of getting beat up. Yes. Buy Mike's hard lemonade to come in and teach them. Would you show the court for $2,000? No, because I know that would be a trick. That would absolutely be a trick. Yeah. If you're there to get paying someone to go to court, like a jury duty style, when you watch that movie,

or nerds, a TV show, I guess, jury duty. I was in it. You were in that. Yeah, they cut me out because I believed it too much. And you never thought it was gonna be a 13 year old beating you up? No, that one I did, because they said, right in the context, this won't be 13 year olds.

Oh, 13 year olds can't lie. Like, if they have to say if they're 13 years old. Did you ever consider that this podcast is just a ruse that we're not recording anything that actually a bunch of 13 year olds are gonna jump out from behind that door over there and just beat the shit out of him? Yeah, I considered it.

And I was like, that feels like maybe, like even if they are recording, maybe like bang, bang's been dropping off and listeners and they wanna go viral, I'll probably just a little bit just from the sound of a man getting beat up by 13 year old.

Yeah, but I still came. You still came. I still came. That is commitment because I do want to tell you, yes, we have some 13 knots behind that door. I knew it. And they have been really looking forward to beating the shit out of you. Of course.

I had heard about you, obviously. Sure. Sure. I pay attention to these kind of things. And Suzy, you rounded up some of these. Didn't you? Well, yeah. You know, it's sort of, you know, I don't give bonuses on the construction site. So I had a couple of the guys that said you got kids.

I asked, oh, they have, it's their kids. They got kids, so I was going to say, you just rounded up the construction people. That would be a... No, they got work to do. They're busy. Oh, okay. But they're kids have come. I have a couple of their kids. I'm not evil. I'm not their kids have come. I have to couple other kids. I'm not an evil.

I'm not me. You know what I mean? So yeah, I got a couple of the kids. How many? Just so I know. So you can prepare yourself mentally or? There's 12. Yeah, so it's quite a few.

That's all I said. It biteers. Bites? Oh, let's hope so. Just in the biz, that's what we call kids who bite. Oh, I mean, yeah, I would think even out of the biz. It's a good name. Yeah, it. Oh, I mean, yeah, I would think even out of the biz. It's a good name. Yeah, it's pretty descriptive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have a lot of time. We have a little viral terminology. So we have these 12, 13 year olds. They're willing to beat you up right now. Oh, I sure. If you want, there's nothing I can do about it, right? Like, like, it's a good point.

I mean, we have them there, we're in to go. I mean, he could run. Have you ever tried to outrun a 13 year old? I know, we have them there, we're in to go. I mean, he could run. Have you ever tried to outrun the 13 year old? Oh, no, I have not. No, you won't do it. I've even found a occasion to do so. Yeah, well, I have tried many, many times. 13 year olds are the quickest things on earth.

Quickest mammal. Really? Quickest mammal. Bluefin tuna can go faster. Oh, okay, well, here we go. Let's open it up. Yeah, they're all here. Let's open up the door.

Okay. Hey, guys, how you did? Oh, no karate no karate. I said no karate. Okay, so what you see in now this is the fingers out how it yeah, they're really focusing on the groin yet. Well, that's their height. Yeah, they So what I do to now, okay, that's fine. Yeah more flips. Okay kids have kendo sticks. Yeah, I didn't realize you had to say hi Y'all when you did kairati. Yeah That's kairati that kairati. That's Kairati.

That Kairati stuff. Okay. So you know what this goes on for like, you know, 20, 30 minutes. Yeah, they're prepared to do it for that long. Like until they just get bored. They get bored. Yeah, they get bored. Sometimes you can, uh, show some speed up.

Oh, yeah, you can see some of the taller ones starting to wander off. Yeah, they wander. They don't have the attention span of course. Okay, they've gone into the keyroll. And they're all shorted. Yeah. Yeah, they've all, oh, okay. Okay. But that was not long at all. No, you. They've gone into the keyroll. And shorted, yeah. Yeah. They've all, oh, okay.

Okay. But that was not wrong at all. No, you're looking shockingly all right. Yeah. You know what? I'm mostly callous. So that kind of helps a little bit. I was gonna say your entire body just, it's very leathery.

Yeah, Mickey work. Yeah. Yeah. Scott Amila, to ask a question. Uh, wonderful. So I was just so curious because I can see how this would maybe work for your brand. But how is that translating to like, I don't know, like Pepsi, for loco, something like that?

That's actually a really great question. I don't know if you know this, but a lot of times brands will go out there and they will kind of do the sort of metaphorical version of this, right? It'll be like 9-11 and they'll treat you. I'm not following you at this point. I'll pick a different one. Pearl Harbor. And they will post a picture of a Pepsi can

being like we'll always remember. And then people just digitally jiu jitsu them for a solid two weeks. Oh, I see. So this is a lot like the, which gender was it that did the Pepsi campaign? A hundred percent like that. I actually worked on that when you're right before

and I was like, what you need is something people hate so much that they will be furious at you and talk about it for days and days and days, just like these 13 year olds that are kicking me in the teeth. And then they'll still think, but I do want a Pepsi and they'll go, I mean, I hadn't thought about Pepsi in years.

And suddenly that was all I could think about for a time. What's Pepsi? I'll see. Oh, interesting. That actually is a tough question to answer. It's so, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no tough question to answer. It's so, no, no, it's a drink, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's technically a drink. Yeah, yeah, technically, although I wouldn't suggest drinking necessarily.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you said, I'm 50, 50 on a lot of stuff. Yeah, that's great. May I ask a question? Yeah, yeah, by the way, I will stipulate that anyone can ask a question. Well, actually, it's more of a pitch. Okay, oh, because I will authorulate that anyone can ask a question. Well, actually it's more of a pitch. Okay.

Oh, because I will authorize that as well. I'm just like, you know, spitballing products here, but say like, they're you spend a day, because I'm assuming that this is almost always an ambush or a trap. Like they trap, a trap. Sometimes it's like a mix of wishing, and I know I'm going into it, but like 99% of you are.

Right, right. Oh, there's Maker Wish. Yeah, they'll ask you, love course. Oh, what a nice set. Not gonna knock you down. Does it go through your agency, or is it more of a, they reach out to you directly? Mainly through Camille.

Oh, great. Wow. Now, doing Camille. Do you get this shit beaten out of you during the Camille? I wrote on there, don't beat me up, but it doesn't. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, you can't, you know, it's like, it's gonna, a bird saying don't make me up, but it doesn't. It's work. I mean, you can't, it's like asking a bird saying, don't make me fly. Yeah, yeah. But nope, we're gonna be out there making birds fly every day. Well, I was just thinking there's so much good stuff for branding, like you just spend the day in a shirt that says, like, tooth decay, and then a bunch of kids encolgate uniforms. Charge at me. Charge at you and beat you, just like tooth decay and then a bunch of kids in cold gate uniforms.

Charge at me. Charge you and beat you, you know, just like senseless. Yeah, that actually is a great pitch and like I've actually pitched that two other corporations. They don't like it because you saw the beatings are so vicious. Yeah, yeah, they really got it. It's so fun. And it's like, it doesn't feel good to see a kid that young

be that biol. Yeah, I was very disturbed kid that young be that violent animal. I was really disturbed by it, but that's it. I want to get him back in here. Kids, you're not coming in and just come back in. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, this is, this is reading. Oh, my God.

They got a melon baller from the kitchen. Oh, that's a new one. Oh, they're cleaning it up with a big lighter. Now you're doing Taekwondo. So like, to all the audio book listeners, like what's happening here is just like really excruciating for me, but you'll probably be able to see it on TikTok or X, or anything like that later on.

What is X? I think X is what my species used to be. Yes. Okay, kids, all right. That's enough. And the bigger ones are just gone. Yeah Okay kids, all right. That's enough. That's enough. And the bigger ones are just gone at this point. Yeah, yeah.

I think one turned 14 in the middle of that, by the way. Oh, is that what the happy birthday? You got it. Yeah, you got it. A little happy birthday ringtone on it. The one wearing it, a little crown, a little paper crown. Oh, that's really sweet. That's good for him.

Yeah, he just lost interest immediately. It must be a genetic thing. I don't know, I just bring it out. Yeah. Today I am a man and I have to beat the shit out of you But you know what it's all in pursuit of art Samaritan we do anything. I right. We're all the same. Scott. Can I ask a question? Yeah, it's human It's actually an answer

So I was I was just wondering because I did a little bit of a Google search of you used to be a doctor Yeah, I was a doctor. Do you still do that? No, here's the thing. What kind of doctor were you if you don't mind? Cardiac surgeon. Well, you need more of those in the world. Yes. And it sounds like you were doing it

making a lot of breakthroughs. I was doing really good. But what you don't need is cardiac surgeons to any given moment, 13-year-olds might barge into the operating theater and just start punching like, yeah. It was a very hard, keep things going. A hospital could have security measures

that would, you know. Have you ever tried to get a 13 year old to not do something? And that's a good point. And I will say most of the security at the construction site is sort of 12 to 14 year old. Which I always do it in the operating theater. Yeah, I'm a little, just think of a guy.

I could put on a little show. I think it's so funny when people use those. Well, it's just fun. If I were the patient, I would not consent to it. It's like, I don't know. Well, you bring it up after they're under. Oh, okay. Oh, I see.

This is karma for me. I'm pretty sure my life is karma because you would constantly put people in the operating theater that didn't want to be in there. And then I invite my buddies and bring in a pony cake and we just have a good time. And I'd wear my cape and I'd do fun bits. Cape?

Oh yeah. The theater, it's the theater. Of course my dear boy. You gotta look good. And but now I can't do it. Yeah. Well, I mean, look, you're making more money. Well, I'm money.

But are you happy? That's the thing. Look, it's Susie Tumon over here. She obviously is really good at what she does, but she seems very unhappy. Yeah, I was sad at a construction site No, I'm sad in this little podcasting room. Yeah, well, I I think we can all agree all four of us are very sad about everything We've done I would agree with that. It just feels like that's what makes this episode work. We're all pretty pretty sad all the time We're pretty happy guys. I mean, yeah, We're just two two bros two carneys who two carneys. We'll talk about the crediting. But car number one myself.

Cardi number three or four. I'm literally why are we going to be far background? Far away far where we don't even get where an IMDB it says uncredited. Yeah well if you go tag yourself sort of in the IMDB page maybe you can cut it yourself that way but we'll'll just sort of say so many people did that on the different movie before it ever came out really Yeah, like all the background actors on it like it would pop up. Is that nice because people are excited about it or is that I guess so I mean, yeah, they were more excited by it than the audience was I would say Yeah, Susie. He sounds so dismayed. Look, I have no advice for you. I don't know if you came here for advice.

No. This is not an advice podcast. So I would think that you wouldn't, but your life sounds terrible and I'm glad I'm not you. Oh, thank you. Can I just say you also said you're so gullible and you, we've said on several occasions this is podcast, but you do keep calling it an audio book. I'm not following for it. Oh, I but you do keep calling it an audio book. Not because I'm not following for it.

Oh, I see. I know this is an audio book. Wait, so you thought it was a trap to just record an audio book instead of a podcast and not the 13 year old boy part of it? Like a live audio book? Yeah, between an audio book. Are these 13 year old boys or are they? Oh, no, no, no, no.

This is a very diverse group of boys, girls, non-bon, non-bon, non-bon, non-bon, 13 year olds. 13-olds beating them up. Lots of different races. They all love it. It's just the age thing, I guess. Wow.

It's really beautiful. Yeah, I think it is beautiful. It's America, you know? Wow. Well, look, Daniel, this is terrible. I feel like I don't envy you. It's all I want to say. And I don't envy you.

OK, good. We have an agreement. I don't envy you. Is all I want to say. And I don't envy you. Okay, good. We have an agreement. But one thing I do envy is the listeners who realize that this show is running out of time and, what, man, I'm really trying to make this make sense. Did you not really try Scott? Go ahead, try it, so see. I don't want to.

You don't want to, really? No. You got to work on your segues if you're going to do podcasting. Okay. So what he said, we ended on Don't envy you and I have to take a break. So how do you get there? Okay. So first I think about what's something that a viewer would like. So I'd go, so Daniel's agreed to pay each and every listener $5,000 to go show up at court on Tuesday, which is above $2,000. So that should be enough to get you to come to court. We'll be right back.

What are you talking about right now? That was really good. I feel like you're not going to be. That was really good. $8,000? It sounds like I have. I've been told I have. Yeah, I'll go for 10.

No. No. We're offering five. I'm sorry. Then I will not go. I'm sorry, I would go for 10 today. Speaking of 10, the only 10 I see is on a break. You're the only 10 I see. Wow. Thank you Scott.

You really blossom during the summer. I really appreciate that. I feel like I'm blossoming during this episode too. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little more mature. Well, we are running out of time unfortunately. I'm afraid to say that we only have time for one final feature on the show That is of course a little something called plugs Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I'd like to plug. Keep it fruity, keep it fruity, keep it fruity, keep it fruity, keep it fruity, keep it fruity, keep it fruity, keep it fruity, keep it fruity, keep it fruity, keep it fruity, stay strong, and keep it fruity. Is that your catchphrase? I'm not sold on it yet.

Wow, that was Keep It Frukey by Brendan Hogan. Brendan using the sample that VOM from a couple of weeks ago later. That was a pretty quick turnaround. Thanks so much to Brendan Hogan. And guys, what do we plug in? Andy, you obviously have the podcast three questions. I have a podcast, the three questions. Devo is going on tour.

I don't have anything to do with that. I just is going on tour. I don't have anything to do with that. I just wanted people to know. Okay, good. Yeah, where can people get information about that? I imagine on the internet. Okay, that's a good place for you. Yeah, we're on Earth somewhere. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Word of mouth. Sure, yeah, yeah.

Maybe a guy like you would mention it. Keep your ears open, people. Sure. You might hear something. Okay, wonderful. And that's, is that the conclusion of your plugs that you're legally allowed to get? Yeah, absolutely. Everything, I have nothing else.

We can plug quintuplets though. No one's watching that. Go check out quintuplets. All right. It's the show I did that I like least. Oh no, you probably can't mention the one you like the most, because people are so watching. Oh, which one is Andy Barker PI? PI, that was a good show.

It was a good show. You worked out of the mini mall. I did. Yeah. Good stuff. Of course, people can't watch it. Don't watch it, though. Don't ever watch it.

Yeah. Don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't give the, don't you don't you're so your money. Yeah, don't make your eyes scabs. Yeah. Suzy toin. What do you want to plug?

I'll hold a plug. My my stepped out of Frank's commissary account. So if you can go ahead and send him some cash, yeah, he needs a what what can you buy over there? Like, I can't split flops. And Daniel Colo, I would say collo J. Yeah. How what do you want to plug? I just want to plug. Can I spell that again?

K-O-L-O-D-J-I-E-Z. Got it. Collod, yeah. Just the way it sounds. Yeah, won't forget. I just want to plug the website X. Great website. Great website to go viral on.

Easy to find, too. Just put an X in your computer somewhere. Just getting better every day You know get out there and enjoy it. Yeah, it's wonderful. I want to plug look head over to CBB world and We have so many great shows over there. We have Scott has Nc and Andy you were on an episode of Scott hasn't seen What did we watch we watched oh yeah? Yeah? Well the the Meryl Streep Sophie's choice. Yeah, that's right. That was an interesting episode. It was it was yeah because that movie is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, a great episode where we watched Mr. Holland's Opus once with someone. No, I don't know who. Don't know who.

We'll never find out. Head over there to CBB World. We also have episodes of CBB Presents where people from this show have their own shows. Like Randy Snuts has his own show. Hey, Randy, we also have Hume with the Batman and Hines. I'm propped to meet you with Will Hines and so many great shows. And if you you know if you're just listening to the regular comedy bang bang then you're only getting half the story All right, let's close up the old plug bag So we take every morning when I wake up and I see the bed

That my girlfriend is not in bed No Every morning has a hell of a bad news And I'm very glad it's born for her bed Every, I thought it was every morning when I wake up And I see the bed I check to see if my girlfriend's dad. Oh, you say sugar ray that band Mark McGerry That was every plug back morning Ted Nugie sugary mix by Maximiliano Ruoco

Thank you so much if you have a plug theme head over to CBB World comm slash plugs and you could be famous for a week and the I mean look that's all it takes is to do something like that. Yeah. You can get on this show. Whoever did, whoever did that remix is probably getting beaten up by 13 year old right now. Speaking of which, I want to thank Daniel Koola J. Kolo J K O L O DJ. I won't forget it again. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Susie Tuman, good luck. I don't, I doubt we'll be talking to you before homecoming, but will you give us an update next time you're on? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And throw a couple of carny jobs. It's, you know, you're not going to be over here. I will if you're willing to do it for free. Good luck with Paul. Do you mean it? I do. I do. Yeah. One of them sounds great. The other sounds like a bore, but I will not

say which one. I'm so nervous. I just hope I get kissed. Have you ever been kissed, by the way? Never. I mean, other than by a big Tony. Yeah, big Tony. Big Tony. I'm more just tape. And there was tape in between. Yeah, it doesn't count. It doesn't count if there's tape in between. I've always said that. Yeah. Too much. Yeah, see it. Too much. That's it. These lips are done with being virgins.

If there's a condom on it doesn't count If there's tape and anything I'm writing this down. I'm writing this down Like that in between doesn't count it doesn't count right? And speaking and not counting we're not gonna count how many of these 13 year olds are gonna come back in here and beat the shit out of you I hope you don't mind. No, I don't mind. Obviously you expected it. you expected it right yeah oh no I don't mind that should go out on it yeah come on you guys this is fun alright we'll see you next time bye oh it's got a fork We're love